#tumblr peeps are being pretty quiet about it but it's been blowing up like an atomic bomb everywhere else

[shantechni]

Me when someone apparently hacks Netflix's database and drops a major leak of DanDaDan, Re:Zero, Terminator Zero, the Mononoke film, and Ranma 1/2.

[ysalamiri-queen]

2019 Fic in Review

Inspired by @myevilmouse I’m going to sum up all the writing I’ve been up to the past year. I’m really proud of what I’ve accomplished, and thanks to you all for the encouragement to put my ideas out into the world! This has been a year of trying new things, and really growing as an author I feel… And wow according to AO3 I’ve written about 400k words in the past 12 months, damn. So let’s get to the list, going from the beginning of the year to the end, and as always please heed the tags on these before reading.

Note: As I go back, I’m realizing a lot of the links were messed up or are just straight missing. I am on the Mobile App so things can get messy. Please visit my works page on AO3 HERE to see all of these on my page under JessKo and my other pseuds.

1 Late Night at the Slab

Idea: Filling a prompt for the Thryce server in which some, uh, unique Chiss anatomy was assigned.

Result: A 3-way with Thrawn, Arihnda, and Eli and my first foray into the more Xeno side of things in a Modern AU setting. Yeehaw!

2 The Trouble With Free-Roaming Ysalamiri

Idea: Based on some adorable ysalamiri cuddles art by @strength-through-order I wanted to write some Thranto fluff.

Result: Ysalamiri-filled Thranto fluff X’D

3 Inquisitor’s Debt

Idea: What if the Grand Inquisitor changed sides at the end of Rebels season 1?

Result: Some fun throwbacks with Obi-Wan and Caleb Dume leading up to Quizzy defecting with Ezra.

4 Ancient Stems

Idea: Eli Week drabbles based on the Vanto Week prompts.

Result: A silly buzz droid narrative with Thrawn and some cute slice of life Eli backstory/Ascendancy days bits.

5 Charnsuka

Idea: Kinky stuff with Lord Garmadon when he’s an Anacondrai.

Result: Kinky stuff with Lord Garmadon when he’s an Anacondrai. Sorry Zane!

6 Caged Like Prized Birds

Idea: Again inspired by the awesome Chiss anatomy and Thrux drawings by @strength-through-order , I wanted to craft a narrative around Armitage, as a young man, stumbling upon a clone of Thrawn.

Result: Man, this might just be one of my favorite things I’ve ever written, had so much fun plotting it out and the smut is mmm! Tentacles everywhere~ I’ve gone back to re-read this a lot, I’ll admit it. I hope you all enjoyed it too.

7 Quiet On Set

Idea: Must. Write. Talos.

Result: A cute little platonic x-reader with everyone’s favorite Skrull. This was my first MCU fic too.

8 Diagnostic

Idea: Wanted to apologize to Zane for the damages done in Charnsuka with some Glacier shipping fluff.

Result: A silly glacier thing leading to a bit of foolery. I’m happy with it!

9 Heron Soaring

Idea: A continuation of the plot line from Heron Rising with Kanan and Thrawn.

Result: Too many feels… but some great sex to soften the blow, Kanera too!

10 Patron

Idea: Responding to a tumblr prompt from @wukeskywalker regarding Thrawn commissioning LOADS of artworks of Eli.

Result: More Thranto fluff! I see a trend here…

11 Black Heron

Idea: Kanan x Pryce for @myevilmouse , I think this was our first ‘collaboration’ on something!

Result: Juahir hires a special someone to show Arihnda a good time!

12 Red Heron

Idea: @star-wars-rebels-4 is always an amazing wealth of ideas for Grand Inquisitor, and encouraged a work featuring him and Kanan.

Result: Delicious back alley smut when an undercover Jedi is caught!

13 Warm Homecoming

Idea: Give my and a friend's OCs some cute fluff.

Result: OC fluff and a vacation to Hoth!

14 sowing the seeds

Idea: Add something cute to the spank war project.

Result: Another contender for my ‘favorite thing I’ve ever written’ rank. Two chapters of pining, cooking lessons, and sweet slick smut.

15 Red Frost

Idea: After watching “The Evil of Frankenstein” with @sneakybunyip ‘s amazing movie night group, I wanted to do something fun with Victor and Hans.

Result: A fun little adventure fic with some huddling for warmth to boot. Victor and Hans are the hammer-horror-verse Thranto send tweet.

16 a setting sun to hide the ruins

Idea: What if I tortured Kanan to the point he turned evil and joined the Inquisitors (and went a little insane in the process)

Result: Instead of torture, let’s just use some serum that drives him mad. Perfect. Smut ahoy, pretty much a dead dove type fic.

17 Pinktown

Idea: When browsing abandoned towns in Florida, I came across Flamingo… what if Thrawn had been exiled here instead.

Result: An alternate history of Thrawn’s exile and eventual discovery by the Empire. Huge thanks for @badgerandk on this one for the perfect epilogue and beta.

18 the sun rises to only illuminate the stranger i have become

Idea: Setting sun… part 2! But it’s actually what happens before sun?

Result: How Kanan ended up where he is for ‘a setting sun’... lots of imp smut and again, it's sort of a dead dove style fic.

19 Frozen Over

Idea: Ar’alani x Eli Vanto

Result: Somehow me and my writing partner ended up at sensory deprivation focus on this one.

20 Shape of Honor

Idea: Well, this one started in 2018 but ‘finished’ in 2019. Still working on the epilogue. Lots of tweaks… If you are not familiar, this is my AU in which it explores how the Thrawn novel and Rebels show would be altered if Palpatine distrusted Thrawn from their first meeting and accused him of being a Chiss spy. Vaguely inspired by the film The Shape of Water.

Result: Well it's nearly a novel now, isn’t it. This was a great adventure in learning how to create compelling story arcs. I’m extremely satisfied with how it is shaping (lol) up.

21 Datura Stamonium

Idea: Thrawnbine ovi smut.

Result: Oops it has plot now, a whole backstory with Eli and such and so fourth. Will need further stories told…

22 Desert Entropy

Idea: Luke/Wedge modern AU shenanigans.

Result: Also pulled Nath/Wyl and the Rogue Squad/Alphabet Squad peeps into this. Set in Vegas, Luke and Wedge meet and have a cute little romance, but some legal troubles set them back (Palpatine, as always, is That Bitch™) Very happy ending!

23 The Great Eli and Thrawn Prank War

Idea: See Chapter 1: Mullet Thrawn

Result: This thing really grew up, and thanks to all the contributors for allowing me to join in! My contributions were: 7-Bombs Away! In which a bit of drama brews and Thrawn makes a paint bomb that forces him and Eli back into being roomates. 11-Tooka Troube 2: Electric Boogaloo in which Eli finds his quarters slowly filling up with Tooka plush toys, and then something huge goes off in supply. 17-The Bitch is Back In which who knew Thrawn could sing?!

24 Clipped Wings to Keep Us from Flying

Idea: Continuing the story line from Caged Like Prized Birds

Result: Dragging Eli and the OG Thrawn into this, seeing that their stories were left untold in the first work. Also Armitage and the clone are up to all sorts of cool things. Still a WIP, on the list to keep working on this year!

25 I’ll do what I can.

Idea: Some Ronan/Krennic feels post Treason

Result: A Ronan character study that I really needed to get out of my system and finally a stable alliance between Krennic and Thrawn!

26 Purple Heron

Idea: @punk--kenobi and I concocted some fun Kanan/Zeb/Hera smut featuring Lasat heat cycles.

Result: Ah this came out so cool, full of emotion and wonderful imagery. Massive kudos to @punk--kenobi for beta-ing my portion and contributing some of the best smut one can find!

27 Ninjago Angst Week 2019

Idea: Do some 1-shots for Ninjago Angst Week

Result: ow right in the feels. Each character got a highlight in their own ‘dark retelling of a canon or canon adjacent event’ chapter.

28 Vertigo

Idea: Thing’s don’t go right planetside for Eli, Pik, and Waffle in Treason.

Result: Big oof. I hope Eli can one day forgive me… I even put strain on the end game Thranto! Bittersweet ending and lots of angst.

29 More Than Just a Treat

Idea: What is Obi Wan up to in the desert…

Result: Aunt Beau and baby Luke baked him cookies obviously!

30 Datura Metel

Idea: Continuing the Datura cycle…

Result: Just how Eli ended up where he did in the first installation.

31 Here & Now

Idea: Some Thranto Fluff! For @jewelliffer

Result: A camping trip for shore leave! And a marriage proposal for extra sugar.

32 Monster Under the Bed

Idea: Benevolent Boogeyman Chiss

Result: Modern AU Thranto spooky sillies. Bit of an intense climax but they talk it out!

33 Haunted by Sentiment

Idea: Nath is in denial of being the Squad Dad for @glassprowlers

Result: Nath’s very bad no good oh so terrible day! It's very silly and I really like how it ended up, the title is way more serious than the story itself XD

34 Pulse

Idea: Werewolf AU Lavashipping

Result: Oops Kai is a werewolf! Good thing Cole is here to help him figure out how to press on.

35 Stories from Area 51

Idea: remember the raid Area 51 meme? I do! Gotta clap them alien cheeks!

Result: Oh no it got PLOTTY! Pretty much all of my favorite characters and ships cherry-picked and plopped down into a Men In Black style facility in the middle of the desert. I really have a thing for the desert huh…

36 Good Day

Idea: The “truth” behind the “Good day, Lieutenant Vanto” from Thrawn in Treason.

Result: Oh stars the FEELS! Thrawn is in deep water and he KNOWS IT! GAH!

37 Fur Ball

Idea: Chiss are mogwai/gremlins…

Result: Silly Thranto fluff. Thrass shows up too! Feeding them after midnight is actually a good idea here… Grow your own ideal man!

38 Came Back Haunted

Idea: A mission fic centered around the @peters-pumpkin-day prompts.

Result: Ice planet survival with Tarkin, Krennic, Galen, and Ronan.

39 Sewn Together

Idea: This drawing actually is what lead to the fic-

Result: A fairly unique reuniting of Thrawn and Eli after both return to the Ascendancy.

40 Spiked Heron

Idea: Oh no… Kanan gets himself in deep poodoo this time.

Result: Devaronians really like humans huh? The next chapter is half way written I swear it is coming soon!

41 A Colder Embrace

Idea: Thrawn/Purrgil/Ezra and Luke/Wampa for SW Rare Pairs.

Result: It's very cold on Hoth… and even colder in space.

42 Surround

Idea: Luke/Wedge for SW Rare Pairs

Result: Luke has to confront Wedge post ESB regarding what is, essentially, his deserting the Rebels.

43 What Happens Planetside…

Idea: Eli/Pik/Waffle for SW Rare Pairs

Result: heheh a scrumptious Eli sandwich! And surprise tentacles because, well, why not?

44 Hesperidium

Idea: Fluffy Kylux for the Kylux Secret Santa event

Result: Ah its so sweet you might get a cavity

45 Reanimator

Idea: Lovecraftian eldritch horror Thranto

Result: This is the sort of project that it takes 2 months to fine tune each chapter, so bear with me, but I can promise a wonderful, creepy ride is ahead!

46 Floral

Idea: Luke/Faro for SW Rare Pairs. Enjoy the Jedi lovin’, @myevilmouse

Result: Sex pollen and accidentally defecting from the Empire. Whoops!

47 The Harch

Idea: Bouncing off of THIS art by @mamidlo , we worked together to create this plot. Very much inspired by the Hammer Horror films, such as Dracula and Frankenstein.

Result: A fun and spooky romp of Kallus and Zeb getting trapped in a creepy castle featuring mind controlled drones and a species-obsessed Harch. This was my first time posting the entire story at once, too!

Wow, I can not believe how much has been written this year. Thank you all again for reading and kudos-ing and your amazing comments. I’d not be here without the support and love <3 Cheers to 2020 and much more fic ahead!

[littletonoemotion]

이 태민: The Moonwalker Pt. 3

Part 3 has arrived, though it was terribly late! I’m fairly certain that this will be the last part, unless people request otherwise. Thanks for showing this little fic a lot of love! It feels really nice whenever I log into Tumblr and there’s a new like or something. ^^ Remember! If there’s anything you want to see from me, I always have inspiration for writing and I’m always willing to take requests.

If you’re a little shy or nervous; literally don’t be. I’m multi-fandom trash, so I’ll write for pretty much every group and in pretty much every genera, style or whatever the heck you’re into. XD Enjoy!

“So, how many dates is this?” Taemin asked, sipping his espresso with a content smile, almost a little smug.

Je Kyo rolled her eyes. “Zero. A full zero dates.” 

“You’re so mean!” he whined, setting down his glass. “We’ve been hanging out like this for months!”

She shrugged. “Yup. We’ve been getting up at unholy hours to hang out just because you’re afraid of the dark.”

“I’m not afraid of the dark! I told you: it’s a condition. Like, a serious one. You wouldn’t want to see me like that.”

She gave him a look. “Sure thing, dude. Whatever you say.” 

He huffed, “You’re so difficult. But back to my original point! These are clearly dates!”

She shoved him playfully across the table. “In your dreams, pretty boy!” She settled back into her chair, a comfortable booth seat in a cozy cafe. She looked out of the window, admiring how the city looked with the sun barely up. “It’s pretty, yeah?” 

He nodded. “Yeah, I am pretty nice.” She shot him a glare, making him laugh. “I’m kidding! Of course, I’m kidding!” He took a deep breath, composing himself. “Yes, it’s a very pretty view.” 

She smirked. Now was her chance! After all the teasing from the strange man that had walked into her flower shop a few months ago, she could finally get back at him. “Not as pretty as you,” she said, flashing him a winning smile. She topped it off with a wink. 

He froze for a moment. There were no witty comments, no rolling of the eyes, no awkward chuckles. Just him, sitting across from her, his cheeks dusted pink and his eyes wide.

Je Kyo snorted, narrowly avoiding hitting her latte when she collapsed in laughter. “Your face!” she laughed. She didn’t even care about people staring at her at this point. She was having too much fun. “That was priceless!” She pulled out her phone, snapping a quick picture. 

He pouted for a full minute before he finally spoke again. A smile made its way onto his full lips. “I win,” he said.

“What?” she asked, sliding her phone back into her coat pocket. 

He looked proud of himself. “I win!” he repeated. “This proves your undying love for me! You even took a picture of me, which, let’s be honest, you’re gonna be using as your lock-screen for a long time.” 

She dipped her fingers in a glass of ice water, flicking the leftover droplets at him. “You ever heard of ‘teasing’ or ‘joking’, you dork? That’s what that was—not a love confession! I swear, you’re so socially ignorant sometimes.” 

A few drops fell from his chin. “Sure,” he chuckled. He grabbed a napkin, wiping his face. “Believe me, you’ll fall for me one day—Je Kyo? Are you okay?”

She quickly shook her head, trying to draw herself out of her own all-consuming thoughts. “Yeah, I’m good,” she said quickly. “Just staring at something.” 

That, in itself, wasn’t a lie. She just hadn’t told him what it had been. 

She must’ve been seeing things, right? Things like that didn’t happen to normal people. A certain ethereal glow to the eyes, a glitter like sparkles or moon-dust. 

Though... 

She’d thought for months now that Lee Taemin was far less than normal.

.

.

.

.

The memory played in her head over and over again, like a song on repeat. So that’s when she’d fallen for him, huh? 

It wasn’t often that there were times like this in her life. Quiet moments that she could enjoy all to herself and roll her eyes at the cliche feeling of the whole thing. She always felt a sense of irony when she had a moment of peace, considering how rare it was. 

Though, her peace was different from most people’s. What’s new? 

When people think of calm, they think of sunsets and ocean waves, mountain tops and whispered ‘I love you’s, raindrops on windowpanes. 

For her, ‘calm’ was a glass of tea, bought on sale at the convenience store. It was late nights, warm days with cold breezes, and her son fast asleep in their home, unaware of how cruel the world could be.

She wanted to keep him safe from that as long as possible, or at least give him hope that things got better. But how could she do that when she barely believed it herself? 

Je Kyo stirred a spoonful of honey into her mug. The twilight looked rather lovely shining in through the slightly cracked window at the back of her apartment. 

Despite how pretty the scene was, Je Kyo had come to dread twilight for one reason and one reason only. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her beating heart and racing thoughts. She just wished her anxious feelings would go away.

But somehow, even though there were butterflies of unfounded nervousness in her stomach, she’d never felt calmer. In a way, she felt accepting of the strange feeling. 

She glanced back at Dongin, sleeping soundly on the rock-hard, dreadfully uncomfortable couch they called their own. A small smile graced her chapped lips. 

“You goof,” she mumbled even though he couldn’t hear her, lost too deep in the land of dreams. She walked over to him, wiping the corner of his mouth with her sleeve. “Drooling all over the place... Nasty,” she chuckled. 

There was a knock on the door, gentle and held with an easy rhythm. She opened the door without checking through the peep-hole; she really didn’t need to. “Tea’s in the kitchen,” she said. 

“Not even a ‘hello’?” Ah-In chuckled. 

Je Kyo shut the door behind her, careful to be quiet with it. “Sorry,” she said. “I just really want to get this off my chest. Preferably as fast as possible.” 

Her neighbor nodded, ever-understanding. “All right, then.” They both ended up settling down on the fire escape, not wanted to wake up Dongin. “So, what’s up?” 

Je Kyo took another glance at the sky, her headache worsening. She let out a heavy sigh. There was no backing out of it now, was there? “Have you noticed me acting a little strange these past few months?” 

Ah-In nodded slowly. “If I’m being honest... Yes. You haven’t really been yourself, though I can tell you’ve been trying to mask it.” 

She let out a bitter chuckle. “Guess it didn’t work all that well then,” she joked. She shrugged, taking a quick sip of her drink. “Well, what can I say? I tried.” 

“Did you bring me here just to tell me that?” 

Any trace of a smile left her face, but even then, she didn’t look sad. She didn’t look distressed, she didn’t look angry—she just looked numb. She didn’t meet her eyes, staring off into the distance, her eyes scanning over the cityscape. “Innie,” she started quietly, “I think I’m going insane.” 

A breeze rushed by them, blowing their hair and buffeting their thin cardigans. Ah-In’s hoop-earrings acted as a sort of wind-chime. Je Kyo almost chuckled at the added atmosphere. What a movie-like scene, she thought.

Ah-In stared at her. “What?” It was more of a gasp than a question. Not even a gasp, just a breath, lost in the wind like a wisp of lost time or memory.  

Je Kyo took another sip. “Insane,” she hummed. “You know? Crazy, mad, deranged, demented, unhinged, lunatic—you get it. I’m just not in it anymore.” 

“In what?” 

She thought for a moment. “Life, I guess,” she finally settled on. “For the past few months, I’ve been hearing voices and even though they freaked me out at first, now I’ve gotten used to them.” She chucked, tugging mindlessly at a strand of hair. “That’s not really normal, huh?” 

She dripped a finger in her tea, stirring the liquid slowly. The subtle warmth felt nice against her skin. “The voices have gotten more and more... Enticing, you know? Like they’re calling me towards them, and honestly, I barely have the strength to tell them ‘no’ anymore.” 

She looked over to her friend, a sad smile on her face. “You know, if it wasn’t for you and Dongin, I would just kill myself.” She could feel herself tearing up a little bit. She scoffed at herself, smacking her cheek a little. “Well, isn’t that rich? Throwing myself a little pity party over here.” 

The whole time, Ah-In had been gazing at her with thick emotion swimming in her eyes. Je Kyo expected pity or concern, but instead, she looked proud. After the initial shock, at least. “You’re not throwing yourself a pity party,” she said. “You’re finally spilling your feelings, and that’s a blessing.” 

“It’s a blessing for me to be totally screwed?” 

Ah-In shrugged, a smile creeping up her cheeks. “Maybe you’re screwed, maybe you’re not—but either way, you’re not dead yet, are you?” Je Kyo stared at her. “You’re obviously holding onto something, or you would’ve jumped off this building a long time ago. I saw you almost do it when you were younger.”

Je Kyo flinched at the memory. “Not exactly something I look back on fondly...” 

“But do you remember how you snapped out of it?” 

She brought the mug to her lips. “I kinda blocked it out of my life completely, so no. Please, enlighten me, though.” She started chugging the rest of the drink.

“You found out you were pregnant.” 

She paused, pulling away slowly. “That was the day I got the results back, wasn’t it?” 

Ah-In nodded. “Exactly.” She wrapped an arm around Je Kyo’s shoulders, rubbing her arm soothingly. “Which confirms my theory. I already knew this, but you care about other people so much more than yourself.” 

She scoffed. “Who do you think you’re talking about? Since when have I—?”

“Forever,” Ah-In said firmly. “I’ve never seen you be selfish.”

She shifted a little. “Oh, shush... Flatterer.” 

“But despite that, I think it’s time you be a little selfish.” Je Kyo furrowed her brows at her, a question in her eyes. “I think the voices will go away if you do what’s best for you, for once. Not for Dongin, not for me, not for the future. Just for you, in this moment. 

This beautiful present that you never get to spend enough time in.” She turned to look at the setting sun. “Because... Despite how shitty people can be, ‘right now’ is actually pretty beautiful.” 

Je Kyo snorted. 

“Why are you laughing?” Ah-In whined. 

She covered her mouth, trying not to draw any attention from the people walking down below. “Y-you swore!” she said through muffled giggles. 

She crossed her arms. “You think I don’t swear?”

“Not what I said.” There was a pause. “But totally what I was thinking.” 

Ah-In gave her a light shove. “Je! I’m trying to help!”

She grabbed her friend’s hand. “I know.” She gave it a quick peck. “And I thank you.” She stood up, crawling back into the apartment through the window. “Can you watch Gin for a little while?” 

“What?” Ah-In leaned her head in, watching Je Kyo toss on her shoes and a jacket. “Why? Where are you going?” 

She opened the door, giving her friend and son one more look before stepping out. “To be selfish.” 

.

.

. 

Je Kyo sat at the bus-stop, kicking her feet back and forth childishly. The city was dark and quiet, it felt like she was the only one there. It was eerie, in a way. 

The moon was full and bright in the sky, giving minimal light to the dark streets. It was moments like these that made Je Kyo wish that the neighborhood council weren’t so lazy with their plans for streetlights. Yet... She wasn’t afraid.

She was prepared for anything that was to come. 

“Why’d you ask to meet here?” A familiar voice came. It was gentle and smooth and completely unmistakable. It was one she had, unintentionally, become quite attached to. “I told you that nighttime was a bit of a no-no for me.” 

She turned around. There was Lee Taemin, standing there with his hood up, hands in his pockets and full-length pants on. That basically confirmed her theory. “I asked you to meet with me because I figured it out.” 

He quirked an eyebrow. “Figured what out?” 

“You.” She stood up, walking closer to him. “I figured you out.” 

He backed up a few steps. “What’re you—?”

She tugged his hood off and pushed him into a patch of moonlight. Her breath almost got taken away. “I knew it,” she whispered. “You’re a moonwalker, aren’t you?” It was more of a statement than a question.  

In the moonlight, Lee Taemin barely looked human anymore. His eyes shone with a sort of glowing opalescence, he looked almost transparent and his hair dripped with light, literally dripping onto his shoulders and leaving a trail in its wake. 

He was shocked at first, but his face quickly relaxed. “So you figured it out, huh?” 

She nodded. “Yeah.” She took in a shaky breath, putting her hands in her pockets. “I noticed.” 

“You don’t seem shocked.” 

She shrugged. “I’m more shaken than I seem, I promise.” She breath came out in thick plumes in front of her. Why did tonight have to be so cold? It didn’t help make her any braver. “I just can’t believe a moonwalker’s really here. Like, that they really exist.” 

He shuffled. “Are you disappointed?” 

She thought for a moment. “A little, yeah.” He looked at her, eyes wide. “I’ve been lying to you. Not for long. Only for about a month.” 

“...About what?” he asked. 

She sighed. “I’m seriously in love with you. But now, I’m just disappointed because I’m realizing that none of it was real. You’re just trying to take me away from my son.”

He shook his head. “No! That’s not what I—!”

“You only got close to me so you could feed on my loneliness, put voices in my head and eventually steal me away... You’ve been lying to me way longer than I have to you.” She hadn’t even noticed her tears that were dripping against the cracking pavement. 

She was more emotional about this than she’d expected.

He took a step forward. “Je Kyo, I—”

She cut him off, “I’m just sad because my on-going theory about humanity is being proven correct once again.” She laughed bitterly. “People suck. Big time.” She sniffled and wiped her eyes. “Well, guess what?” She met his eyes, determination burning in her own. “I’m not going to let you take me away.” 

He sighed. He took a few more ginger steps forward. “I’m not... Going to take you away. Where did you hear that rubbish?” 

She took a step back for every step he took forward. “All the stories!” she snapped. “There’s never been a good story about you people! It’s all freakin’ gloom and doom!”

He kept advancing on her. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to believe everything you read?” 

She balled her fists. “My parents didn’t stick around long enough to teach me that particular lesson, no.”   

“I’m not going to take you away from Dongin. From your life.” 

There was an anxiousness growing in her stomach that only grew when her back bumped against a wall. They were inches apart. Not even inches. Mere centimeters. The strength left her. She couldn’t feel angry anymore. Just there. “...Then what’re you going to do?” 

His hand trailed slowly up her arm, giving her goosebumps and leaving his glow in a path leading upwards, the shape of his slender fingers. “Make you less lonely. That’s what it says in the stories, right? Do those damn stories ever specify how?”

She felt stiff. She wanted to run, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from him. Maybe she didn’t even want to. “No, I supposed they don’t,” she muttered. 

“We do it by giving you lonely humans what you’re lacking.” He paused. “Love.” 

She frowned. “But it’s not real. If it’s not real, I don’t want it.” 

He shook his head. His eyes looked somewhat pleading. “No, no, no—it’s so real, I promise! For most moonwalkers, yes, it’s done for the purpose of their existence, but you and me... We’re something special.” 

She looked away from him. “How am I supposed to trust you? Believe that this isn’t just because of your flippin’ otherworldly purpose?”

He thought in silence for a moment. “Because this is how I feel right now.” He brought his hand to her cheek. 

She flinched, but immediately relaxed against his palm. She didn’t know what she was expecting, really. She had thought that the glowing essence he possessed would feel somewhat cold, like the moon looked. “It’s very... Warm,” she said quietly. 

He nodded, trying to smile a little. “Very warm. Because I’m nervous.” 

She met his piercing gaze. “Nervous?” she echoed. “Why?” 

“Because of you,” he chuckled. “I feel like a child around you... I get so fluttery and all over the place, all I can do is tease you some days. All because I don’t know how to deal with myself.” He rolled his eyes at himself. “Some divine being I am.” 

He examined her face. So close to his. So tempting. “You know...” he whispered. “I’m sure if I kissed you right now, my knees would buckle.” 

Her cheeks felt hot. She didn’t know if it was because of his hand against her cheek or something else, but all she could do was shake her head. “Don’t lie to me, please.” 

“I’m not,” he said. He sounded so sincere. “When I first came into your flower shop, I was just there because of my instincts—because of what my ‘programming’, for lack of a better word, told me to do. But soon, when you took me to all those cafes and fast food places and thrift shops, I started missing your laugh when I wasn’t next to you. Your witty quips, your casual and hardworking nature, your dedication, and your smile.” 

She shifted her weight. “That’s... Specific.” 

He found himself leaning closer. “Do I need to list more? I have thousands.” 

“No, that’s... That’s quite enough.” 

His lips brushed against hers, making both of them shiver. “May I?” His voice was barely above a whisper. “The anticipation is killing me.”

With this one answer, she could make the decision for herself whether or not to be lonely anymore. She could have it all, if she wanted. Her son, her friend, her crappy job, her chill twilight hours and the guy that she’d fallen head-over-heels for. 

Would that be too selfish? 

Well... She came out here this cold autumn night to be selfish. Might as well go all the way. If it ended up breaking down eventually, that was fine. Even the brightest thing in the world, like the sun, sets at some point.

With a deep breath, releasing all the fears and tension and hatred she’d been holding onto for years, she whispered, “Hell, yeah.”

.

.

.

.

THE END   

[survivorandalucia]

“Wokest Bitch of the West”- Petra

I'm fucking quitting why did you have to cast these fucking people

OMG I made it and it's started and I'm soooo ready

RHONE ! Bless.

i love men that means im not a lesbian

Ohhh bitch i am here! I was legit just having a mental brake down and now im here. Ohh boy!!! Im so excited to be here and now im seeing Amanda again! But me geting jenna out and willa ohh boy! Im gonna have to talk to willa and hopefully jenna isn't so harsh this time around! Ah im so excited i just hope im not a pre-juror boot because im going to be so emotional this game and hopefully play a villainous card!

toby marlow is sexy as fuck what the mhell

I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS!!!! So far, not much has happened which can be good or bad. I'm a bit nervous to be playing with returnees being on the other tribe because they might be better at immunity challenges than us. I'm a bit nervous about Pine Boy being in this game because I heard that he's really good. So far I like Toph (Azores buddy <3), Sultana, Jacob, and Nick. Nick came to me right away and said he liked me and wanted an alliance with me. I was like sure!!! Who would I be to decline an alliance? An idiot, that's what I would be. I'm wondering how we're going to do idol hunting on this season and I hope we find out soon. I want to redeem myself from my Azores mess. That reminds me, Toph being here can be really bad for both of our games. If anyone know what Azores is, they know that I gave Toph my idol. They know that we were close, which can be really bad for our games. If people look at Azores and assume that we're still close (which we are), we're fucked in the long run. I love writing confessionals, I missed that in Azores. Sure, we had Ponderosa confessionals, but I wanted to talk more game shit in there. Another thing that I'm worried about: If Toph read my in-game confessionals during Azores, he knows that I'm reluctant to play by his side again. Or, if he has a brain, he can infer it from that. Hopefully, this wont all blow up in my face. I can't wait for the shit show to start after the immunity challenge.

I really am gonna have to fight the hosts

Not letting me idol search and putting me on this tribe. There is only ONE girl on my tribe. And rhone and the boys. I hate men fuck you all. Also Jake being on my tribe when he has the personality of a dead foot yikes. I hate this tribe i hate this game. Get me my shit i wanna leave now. 

Except jordan pines and daniel they cool.

Heyo! The name’s Johnny, from Survivor: India, the guy who went through only two tie votes in his seasons, and I guess I’m ready to swing at the sandbags again. I’m glad to be back and hopefully I don’t fall in the pits that I fell in last time. I’m not settling for premerge this time ‘round. So this tribe is definitely a lot bigger & badder than I expected. Lots of personalities, lots of players, and a shit ton of self-professed “bitches”, “villains”, and whatnot. I just want to survive a while in here so I’m ready to slap on the under-the-radar happy tribe mascot sticker. But of course, the twist is revealed. I tried for the advantage but as always, my luck runs dry and I’m beaten to it. Figured Jordan Pines had it and right I was - dude won immunity. Lucky fella. Oh well, better him than ~some~ people, because at least he probably won’t want me gone first. I’ve also had some decent chats with Issy & Daniel, a bit o’ back-and-forth with Chris, and barely anything with Jake, Isaiah, and LA. And Adrian & Rhone, as far as I know, is a no-show so far. I do know Adrian though, so hopefully that gives me some brownie points! Now we’re gonna go on a tribe call and if there’s anything I know about myself, I’m both awkward and quiet on large calls so… hopefully I leave a decent impression.

So the tribe call just ended with the understanding that a second one would start, and guess what didn’t happen? It does feel a smidgen shady so hopefully there isn’t some chat without me already made because THAT would suck. After the call, though, Jake comes to me all desperate asking “We’re good right? I won’t vote you.” Dang, this guy moves quick. He asks me what I want to do and when I say wait it out for a little bit, he says “Good plan, low key wanna help the tribe.” Mate, simmer down, no need to jump on the gameplay horse so quick. I feel like he has some bad connection with someone, but I’m just not quite sure who that’d be. I know nothing about Tumblr connections, sadly. I trust Jordan right now - not too much, of course, I’ve heard how good he is at this stuff - but I’ll give him a little info and hope he reciprocates. I just wanna live until I reach a point where I can go full India mode and explode onto the scene. We’ll have to see if I can suffer through this tribe, first… I’ll just suffer well.

GUESS WHO WON IMMUNITY PEEPS ANYWAYS so since im at least surviving 1 tribal i have time to build relationships with these people, i've been talking to amanda and she's cool, and atm im on call with jacob/toph/peyton and im waiting for someone to add me to an alliance because im so talented

Everything seems pretty tame but since there is a tribal coming up, that scares me. I like Madison, Taylor, Sultana, Toph, Jacob, and Nick as of now. I'm going to watch the videos right now to see where people's heads are at right now. If I can do that, I'll be able to get a better read on everyone. Hopefully, that will help me with figuring out who to vote out. I'll pray for the best while reading Animal Farm.

CONFESSIONAL: This is my first time in tumblr survivor history that I will be present at the premiere of the season. Pretty fucking excited. I'm like a survivor noob when it comes to the premiere. I've always been gone during it so this is my first premiere ever! I am hoping my 2nd and 1st place finishes don't put a early target on my back. I just need to make sure the tribe views me as an asset as opposed to a threat CONFESS: i think my status will help me. it says something about depression i think people will like that and that should be a convo starter

so me being the little bean that i am decided to have everyone join the call and now im an alliance called the "core fore" i mean like its me Payton, madison, and Jacob! okay that was just some basic ass info. here's my thoughts on everyone else! Amanda sledge: the only person i will trust in this game. she played an idol on me in Azores and if that isn't trust i don't know what else is. Payton: he seems ok, i mean he kinda seems Plainer then Rasin Bran but i mean her has a goat farm and litty. Madison: she seems woke and i would like to work with her given her immunity win and letting everything happen with this alliance already taylor: i mean he seems ok. But like he just got on call so ill keep you posted on him. Sultana: a woke ass queen! i really wanna work with her she seems super funny and chill and like a queen of everything she dose like harassing her mom for food! i would love to work with her will she wants too as well! the others: they have said nothing so like ima try and get one of them out now or payton. dfjbndofb Ok so currently i'm in about 2 alliances! Amanda, nick and myself are in one alliance. meanwhile i'm in an alliance with  Jacob, Payton, and Madison together so like i have no idea if this is good or not because i don't wanna be caught so i feel like i need to tell Amanda so she dose not get mad and i can work with her! I really have no clue on what is going to happen. I don't want to trust anyone yet because tomorrow we will see were the lines will be drawn. I am like 50% that someone inactive will be voted off. but not if i have anything to say about that! I want payton out because i feel like he is dry and kinda basic. after all i will try and be the villain of the season oops! i honestly really like Petra though and think shes very chill and interesting. lets hope she feels the same way. i'm hoping i can just stay calm for now and then go and cry about it latter. i honestly am very hungry right now though like i ugh. Ok that is besides the point. But i feel like i need to bring my paranoid level up to like a ten because i can't trust none of these bitches or i'm gonna be scared as hell. my ears are open to everything and i have a google docs open and im ready to kill some people. 

So at the beginning of the game, me and Amanda talked alot and decided to team up. Then Amanda was good friends with Toph. So then we formed a three person alliance. While we were on call, me Amanda, Toph and Suitana formed an alliance. The twist was announced that both tribes will be going to tribal. I really hope I am not first out but I got a solid 4 person alliance called the Wig Snatchers with them.

I feel like I'm the least extra person here and some of them I think don't like that I'm not super extra

ok idk who 2 vot cuz im just a woke ass bitch and like i havent come across anyone that im rly annoyed with xcept payt TBH hes just awkward and like totally denies my humor via not laughing and everyones talking about this person called jenna they had tea drama with or smth so im like O _ O

I love being on tribe calls because late at night is when alliances are made! I'm currently in an alliance with Petra, Nick, and Toph (Seamus too). We don't have the majority yet, but I like Jacob and Madison. I hope they will vote Jenna with us. I heard nothing but bad things about her from Toph and she seemed cool, but I think right now it's our best option to get her out since she has no wifi at the moment.

Hey everyone, first confessional. I have not played in one of these games in a very long time so I feel very rusty. Anyway, this double tribal twist could really mess up my game but I can't worry about that at the moment. My plan is watch my tribemates videos and try to find common ground. I know Poteet is really embarrassed about going out premerge, and I went premerge too so we can talk about that. I need to take it one step at a time.

I have gained the trust of a good amount of the tribe, and they all are just kinda doing what I say, so i feel like i have some power suddenly. Not saying I'm on the path the a villain but we'll see what happens.

i want to die

Joy, oh joy. I wake up this morning (if 11:30 AM is considered morning) with Jake being the only message to me and I think, THAT can't be a good sign. So he reiterates him wanting to work with me, yadda yadda, badda bing, and says that he values we have history. I'm pretty sure our history is just like one or two Skype minis so unless I'm forgetting something, ripperoni. He also tells me he's "heard a few names floating around" but when I asked him who it was, no response. Go figure. Luckily, Chris Stoner messages me and tells me that as of now Jake is the vote (I'm assuming from the mind of Jordan Pines) so at least I have some solace there. I don't think I'll be going at the end of the day, but there's still the very real fear that my head's on the chopping block, and I don't want to be lynched tonight, nosiree.

So while my video confessional is uploading, it seems like I got Taylor's vote to get Jenna out! I'm really excited to not be the first boot, honestly. I'm sad though because she never got to send me pictures of her kittens. Maybe if I keep her she'll show me! Anyways, how's your day? My mom broke our snapchat streak and it's quite disappointing... like I came out of your vagina and you're going to treat me like this?? Oop my video confessional uploaded here it is in all its (not) glory!

So Jake said that Rhone had suggested Issy (due to their beef from another game, pretty sure it was a wiki game I viewed lmao) or Chris to go home. I found this a little bit fishy but then again I've found most of what Jake's been doing to be fishy. However Jake seems to think it'll be Issy going which is convenient. I also hopped on a call with Jordan Pines and we traded a bit of info - I'm not going to give him EVERYTHING persay (I've been told many stories about him so best to tread lightly) but luckily he gave me some. Jake had randomly made an alliance chat with Jordan and Rhone last night without informing either of them and both distrusted it. Jordan wants to keep some sorta secret information sharing pact between the two of us and I'm game, but I need to make sure he trusts me so I still have to actually give him credible tales. I've just gotta stay on his good side for now and be the nice, honest fella on the tribe. That'll keep me afloat until the swap (which seems like it'll be an auxillary situation. How fun). I do like Isaiah and Adrian a bit and I wouldn't mind working with those two, it'd be nice to get something rolling along with em. We'll have to see, though, because I'm not sure how social Adrian's been so far. As of now, our first boot should be Jake. Let's just hope we can stay strong and not lose to those meddlesome newbies.

I'm not going to lie... I'm a bit nervous. A tribal shouldn't be going this smoothly  unless there's something going on in the background. Dear god, let this work out. I will write more after tribal is over, I'm just too nervous right now. 

[adlezethreal]

1-150 for the ask thing

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? I've never held hands before, with anyone.

2. Are you outgoing or shy? Anxious.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? Angela.

4. Are you easy to get along with? Not usually.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Probably.

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Pretty much anyone hot and reasonably near my age.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Yeah.

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? Do you mean crushes? I dont have anyone.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Nope *Insert lenny face here*

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Don't remember.

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? Probably something along the lines of "OH FUCK"

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? The Nobodies (Marilyn Manson), Pain (Three Days Grace), Blow Me Wide Open (Saint Asonia), Superbeast (Rob Zombie)

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? No. Get the fuck out of my house.

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? I believe in the Gay Gods.

15. What good thing happened this summer? Got to see Angela

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? I've never kissed anyone. (I'm working on that)

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? *Adjusts I Want To Believe Poster*

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Yup.

19. Do you like bubble baths? No.

20. Do you like your neighbors? They're cat hoarding assholes

21. What are you bad habits? Self Harm, Not eating, being unable to function n general.

22. Where would you like to travel? Britain, or Canada

23. Do you have trust issues? Definitely

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? The part where it doesn't exist. I haven't changed clothes in weeks.

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? Face, Stomach, Thighs.

26. What do you do when you wake up? Deny that I'm awake.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Lighter, because I wanna be transparent.

28. Who are you most comfortable around? Angela.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Nope, they all still hate me.

30. Do you ever want to get married? Sure.

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? Yup.

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? None.

33. Spell your name with your chin. No.

34. Do you play sports? What sports? Nope.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? TV, I don't even have TV now.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? YES.

37. What do you say during awkward silences? WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? Angela

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? I hate shopping.

40. What do you want to do after high school? Become an engineer.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Some peeps are just assholes.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? Thinking, anxious or scared.

43. Do you smile at strangers? No.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? SPACE BITCH

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Gravity.

46. What are you paranoid about? Everything

47. Have you ever been high? On pill overdoses

48. Have you ever been drunk? Nope

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? YESYESYES

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Navy blue

51. Ever wished you were someone else? Yeppers Jeffers

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? Everything.

53. Favourite makeup brand? Don't wear makeup.

54. Favourite store? Hate shopping, so Amazon.

55. Favourite blog? zombielovejuice

56. Favourite colour? Red

57. Favourite food? Burger King veggie burgers

58. Last thing you ate? Ramen Noodles

59. First thing you ate this morning? I didn't eat today.

60. Ever won a competition? For what? Nope.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? Nope.

62. Been arrested? For what? Nope.

63. Ever been in love? Several times.

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? I've never kissed anyone.

65. Are you hungry right now? Very.

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? Sometimes.

67. Facebook or Twitter? Twitter.

68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now? Still don't have a TV

70. Names of your bestfriends? Angela.

71. Craving something? Cake

72. What colour are your towels? White

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 0

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Rarely

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? 3 gallons

75. Favourite animal? Crows

76. What colour is your underwear? Grey

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Depends

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Depends

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? Grey

80. What colour pants? Blue

81. Favourite tv show? MythBusters

82. Favourite movie? Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? What

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? What are these

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? Never heard of it???

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? None.

87. First person you talked to today? Myself

88. Last person you talked to today? Myself

89. Name a person you hate? Myself

90. Name a person you love? Angela

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Me.

92. In a fight with someone? What

93. How many sweatpants do you have? 1

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? Too many

95. Last movie you watched? Boogeyman

96. Favourite actress? Literally any LGBT actress.

97. Favourite actor? Johnny Depp

98. Do you tan a lot? I AM PAPER BITCH

99. Have any pets? I have 4 cats and 2 doggos

100. How are you feeling? Very suicidal

101. Do you type fast? Yeet

102. Do you regret anything from your past? Everything

103. Can you spell well? Yee

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? YES

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Nope

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? Dunno

107. Have you ever been on a horse? Yea it sucked it smelled like shit

108. What should you be doing? Reading The Giver so I can stay in AP classes

109. Is something irritating you right now? Myself and these BULLSHIT QUESTIONS

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? YES

111. Do you have trust issues? DEFINITELY

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? NOBODY

113. What was your childhood nickname? THE WEIRDO IN THE CORNER

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? YES

115. Do you play the Wii? WE HAD TO SELL IT TO GET FOOD

116. Are you listening to music right now? NOPE

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? I AM A VEGETARIAN

118. Do you like Chinese food? YES

119. Favourite book? Code Junkie

120. Are you afraid of the dark? I aint tellin you shit

121. Are you mean? I AM A HUGE ASSHOLE

122. Is cheating ever okay? Nope

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? No

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? Not really????

125. Do you believe in true love? Kind of??????

126. Are you currently bored? JUST ANNOYED

127. What makes you happy? Angela

128. Would you change your name? Yes

129. What your zodiac sign? Leo

130. Do you like subway? Use to

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Fuck Them

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? idk

133. Favourite lyrics right now? GOD LIKES ME FUCK EVERY BODY ELSE

134. Can you count to one million? Yes??

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? I didn't do it

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? closed

137. How tall are you? 5'8

138. Curly or Straight hair? Both

139. Brunette or Blonde? Brunette

140. Summer or Winter? Fall

141. Night or Day? Night

142. Favourite month? SP00KY MONTH

143. Are you a vegetarian? YEET

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Dark

145. Tea or Coffee? Both

146. Was today a good day? No fuck you

147. Mars or Snickers?  Snickers

148. What’s your favourite quote? I'm a satanist - Lindsey Way

149. Do you believe in ghosts? Yeet

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? "Fine!" She shouted at it.