#tumblr is a doofus and being weird with cuts

[metvllic]

hey hey hey everyone! i'm queso (she/her, 21+) and i bring you actual, factual doofus, lee jihye. i'm working on her stats, bio, and wanted connections but i'll have a brief version of them under the cut! i'm super excited to be here and plot with all of you and get to know you and your lovely muses! i have discord available for plotting if you hate tumblr messaging as much as i do. anyway, without further ado, here's more about jihye! trigger warning for the briefest mention of physical abuse. edited to add: pls click the lil heart down there and I'll come bother you in your messages!!

miss ma'am is 29 and has no idea what she wants to do in life. she doesn't know shit about fuck. she's paralyzed by indecision and making the wrong choice so she just...doesn't do anything.

her power has helped her, at least, have a career that keeps her from being on the street or completely poor. without her job as a personal trainer she'd have nothing as she doesn't have a support system. her dad was an abusive alcoholic and her mom loved her and did her best but never got them out of the situation so as soon as jihye was able she disappeared into the wind.

if you knew her prior to her turning 20, when she was im nari, no you didn't. she doesn't acknowledge her past or who she used to be and if you call her nari, she'll gaslight you to hell and back.

she has the same power as her dad, which is its own can of worms that she's not addressing or getting help for.

she really did move into the apartment for a washer and dryer because she hates the laundry mat and would sooner yeet herself from a building then sit in one for hours again.

sis can't be serious for more than 20 consecutive seconds without panicking and making a joke or immediately disengaging. she doesn't do conflict.

she's been in the apartments for 4 years and is probably still a stranger to most because she sleeps weird hours and is always operating on gremlin time.

she's always eating junk and subsisting on cigarettes and energy drinks.

she's got a good heart but she's just constantly overwhelmed by everything and was never given good coping mechanisms. hoping we can find her someone in the rp that can help her move past her crippling indecisiveness and actually grow.

plot ideas:

obviously because I said she can't deal with anyone who knew her before she moved and changed her identity, we have to have that. maybe childhood best friends and your muse is like, "no, I definitely know you. you do the same thing with your lip she did." and it's just some tom and jerry tomfoolery until she breaks.

a love interest (m/f/nb/etc) that things seemed incredibly serious with until miss jihye blew it up and ditched. the thought of anything serious would terrify her and I'm sure the aftershock of her actions would be fun to rp. I love angst and drama and slow burn so pls give me this?!!

a new bestie. you see this weird chick who's existing on cigarettes and monster and you're 98% sure you've never seen her come in with groceries?? how is she even alive?? and your muse kind of takes it upon themselves to look after her, for whatever reason. at first jihye is skeptical but she comes to enjoy your muse's presence and before she knows it, she's gotten too close and has a new bestie she refuses to let go of.

okay listen. she's never cruel or mean outright, ever, but she is kind of oblivious and her inability to treat anything with the respect it deserves or requires could definitely rub someone the wrong way. I could definitely see someone in the apartments thinking she's thoughtless and rude because of her level of self involvement and not really being used to thinking of others.

her savior. your muse agreed she could use their washer and dryer, whether through constant badgering or the kindness of their heart. jihye brings snacks, booze, cigarettes-- whichever your muse prefers in payment. she's not good at being sociable but your muse can see she's really trying her best despite the awkwardness.

someone jihye flirts with constantly. she's good at smooth talking and chatting people up and is often very forward. your muse has caught her eye. we can plot whether things get more serious or it's just a playful back and forth or just jihye being a greaseball before it grows into a friendship or something else?

throw anything and everything at me. I love fluff, angst, drama, slow burn, toxic, etc.

[patchdotexe]

the KG masterpost, again,

hey guys who wants to read 50 paragraphs about my oc ok great here we go

the original version of this was very.. me cutting out a lot of What The Characters Actually Were Like to try and give an overview of out-of-character origins? which is fun but also does not actually tell you anything at all about them. SO IT'S TIME FOR THAT NOW

Katie G.:

aka: KG, Prime pronouns: she/he/they

a cheerful and intentionally wacky person, KG has the permanent vibes of being "up to something". never anything malevolent (or at least not on purpose), but their friends are never really sure when they'll kick down their doors with an idea in mind. she's adaptable to just about every situation, treats everything like a fun game, and while she's able to take things seriously she never really sees a need to most of the time. he's just here to have fun! sure, chaos follows in his wake, but as long as everyone's having a good time it's fine, right?

in a setting where worldhopping was a normal thing, it became clear that something was up with Katie. originally her tendency to pop up regardless of universe was written off as her tagging along, but the difference between each version in appearance and backstory led to the idea that they had a lot of counterparts. except then one of the alternate KGs would reference something another version of herself did, or have knowledge that didn't make sense for her to know, and things stopped adding up.

KG is a case of isekai gone sideways. somehow they broke the multiverse and are existing in several universes at once-- each iteration shares awareness and memory unless stated otherwise, although it's all filtered through the pile of noise that is "existing as 17+ people simultaneously". as a result, KG mixes up names, dates, and universes, and has trouble keeping her story straight. it's not exactly something they can explain easily, so he does his best to handwave it or dodge the topic entirely if people start catching on. as an upside, she's basically immortal due to her status as a multiversal anomaly, but on the downside nobody's really sure what the long-lasting events of breaking the multiverse are.

how this works in practice is that KG has Really Weird Vibes, is permanently leaning on the fourth wall, and either goes Full Protagonist or relegates themself to comic relief to stay out of the spotlight. as a side-effect of The Incident, the "original" KG is firmly stuck outside of canon because of breaking everything she touches, but that doesn't stop her from causing a mess (to the annoyance of T1, her best friend and partner-in-crime) :D

under the cut: more of this guy! specifically the ~16ish other This Guys. i will make tumblr regret letting me add more than 10 photos per post and also not having a character limit

Landia:

aka: Kaylandia, Lan pronouns: they/he/she

kinda the basis for their own subset of AUs because you would not believe how many minecraft aus we keep getting involved in. occasionally younger (or older?) sibling of Leonaut and/or Leontids, resident self-proclaimed memelord, here to have a good time not a long one, etc.

despite their immaturity, Landia's been around a pretty long time. ..sort of. he predates the existence of dogs, but didn't really start being a Thing again until around 1.15 and his memory of The Before Times is very fuzzy. still, in a fandom where players from near the start are considered old gods, applying that to this doofus is really funny.

has a couple spinoffs including Dashtwo (time traveler that's more likely to mess things up than actually fix them, got adopted by the resident polycule) and...

Outlaw:

aka: Landia, Lan pronouns: they/he

(minecraft skin is a bit out of date, outfit in artwork is accurate)

branches off of Landia, but is separate enough at this point to get a fully distinct entry because [looks at notes] i love him. hailing from the far future, Lan used to be an infobroker for the ConVex thanks to their multiversal knowledge. then things went south when the ConVex found out he knew too much about them. on the run and in a panic, they tried to get off-planet as fast as possible, got knocked out, and woke up in the cargo hold of a spaceship belonging to a fleet of outlaws. somehow they managed to endear themself enough to the captain to not get kicked out immediately, and now he's a pilot for one of the ships in the fleet!

somehow none of that is the most notable thing about him. what is the most notable thing about him is that after getting a neural implant to better interface with technology, he immediately got infected with sapient malware. and also that sapient malware is also the AI of the ship he woke up on, which itself is a fork of a brain scan of a wanted criminal that attained digital immortality. the Broker AI is actually rather harmless; they mostly sit in the backseat and try to keep Lan from getting themself killed.

he's somehow even more overenthusiastic and overeager than your baseline KG. he's living like full-throttle, usually traumatizing himself in the process, and his plucky attitude is a bit out of place in life-threatening gunfights and dogfights. he knows the rest of 77-2 has his back, though.

Twone:

pronouns: they/he/she (alternating/scrambled)

cringefail pokemon trainer

hailing from Goldenrod City in Johto and then also Jubilife City in Sinnoh due to Reasons, Twone has a tendency to get in over their head. he mainly trains electric and fire types (with her starter being Eclipse the Luxray), and proudly calls themself a gym leader despite not having a gym. or any badges to give out. but she has plenty of enthusiasm and that's almost the same thing

through a series of Currently Undefined Events, Twone ended up joining up with Team Rocket and assisted in the radio tower takeover before getting sorely beaten by our other Pokemon OC Robyn. embarrassed and reconsidering her life choices, they bailed out while they still could and settled down in Sinnoh... and also stole a bunch of Rocket stuff on their way out.

currently known for: disappearing into the jungle for 3 days with a friend and returning with 3 Mews and a Mewtwo, alchemizing a bicycle, agreeing to get murdered by one of his best friends on the condition that they reference The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog, getting exploded by voltorbs

technically newest addition to the roster, but he's been around a while? there was just. no art of him and the comic he was planned to show up in self-destructed before he could. but now he's back! and also is now the missing link between KG and Landia because of pixelmon.

KG the Foxcat:

aka: Foxcat pronouns: she/they

Foxcat answers the long-awaited question of "what if KG was a furry?". happily sitting in the same zone of non-canonicity as Prime, Foxcat's job is to annoy the heck out of T1, reminisce about old fanfic, and make sprite comics of herself and her friends. they are very much not part of CV but that doesn't stop them from having a noncanon friendship with CVTails that mostly involves bullying him and locking him in the same room as T1 for comedy purposes.

Foxcat is currently the only non-hedgehog example of an Outsider, which is a thing from our old Sonic continuity Shattered Worlds that basically translates to "worldhopper with weird powers". i guess if Shadowy is Mephiles and Chrome is Silver, then Foxcat is Tails? which makes her hobby of collecting AU Tailses make more sense i guess. she thinks they're neat.

would eat a Chaos Emerald for fun.

Ellis:

pronouns: she/he

didn't make the cut in the original masterpost, but then i noticed some wording in one of the MSPaint doodles of her and connected some dots so she's here now!

Ellis is the closest to pre-incident Prime in backstory and vibe, with the major divergence point being "suddenly there was an alien invasion". despite the rampant devastation, he banded together with her friends and was able to uncover the truth behind the invasion, stop it at the source, and hopped worlds a few times until settling down in somewhere close to home.

and then suddenly there was a zombie invasion.

Ellis is not a lucky person.

as far as out-of-universe timeline goes, Ellis is maybe the first instance of a KG? as in i think she was my first self-insert character, and the other KL era ones (kh!Katie, Plus, Self) were variations on her. between that and the worldhopping, Ellis is probably whatever part of Prime successfully got isekai'd instead of getting dumped in the noncanon void. where is he now? i dunno! he might've exploded. either that or she's a cryptid.

nicknamed "Ellis" because of that one time the friendgroup got really into Left 4 Dead. this may be related to the zombie invasion thing.

Katie & Teixak:

aka: Heart (Katie), Tei (teixak) pronouns: she/her (both)

them. hoo boy, these two. Heart regularly hung out with the OCs from the KL era and was mostly slapstick, up until Sora's appearance and the involvement of the remnants of Organization XIII ended up being a herald of a Heartless invasion. side-by-side with her friend, Heart fought off as many as she could, but the two of them got overwhelmed along with the rest of her world and became Nobodies.

picking up where Katie left off, Teixak got recruited into the New Organization led by Rasemtix with the goal of "okay but what if we Did actually get everybody's hearts back". mostly she got left to her own devices, though, which included taking the mission objective of "study the canon KH characters to get an upper hand" and turning it into "hey Leixand what if we just locked everybody in a mansion for a few months and played truth or dare" until Rasemtix found out and yelled at her.

eventually Rasemtix's plan went off without a hitch because Dream Drop Distance hadn't come out yet, Teixak became Katie again except for the final chapter of YAToD where they both existed at the same time???, and then a decade later i found all my old fanfic about them and realized i should probably rewrite the KG masterpost

Kay Gee:

aka: Kay pronouns: they/them

older sibling of local overworked CCC field agent Leo Naught, Kay is a troublemaker through and through. somehow they've ended up with the same Retry power as Henry, although they haven't quite ascended to the rank of master thief or high-ranking Toppat or special ops agent or whatever. mostly they just goof off and cause a little bit of chaos here and there, which leads to them being on the run from the CCC most of the time.

thanks to basically being immortal from both "being a KG" and their Retry power, as well as outright being able to rewind time and take a different path at any time, Kay doesn't take stuff too seriously and needs to be reminded now and then that their actions do in fact have consequences. whoops!

they are in SO much trouble.

comes bundled with their Stickmolus counterpart, a!Kay (or Akay). they're the exact same, it's just this one has inbuilt psychic powers on top of Retry and also is a fuzzy alien.

Zephyr:

aka: Zeff pronouns: she/her

a novice Dream Traveler, Zephyr is along for the ride more than anything else. she's very naive and prone to messing things up, but puts her all into fixing any problems she causes and tries to leave each world a better place than when she showed up. it doesn't always work.

she crosses paths with Klonoa now and then, and they have a kinda-sibling-ish dynamic? she's also friends with the reincarnated King of Sorrow because Reasons. (she calls them "Koss".)

i don't remember why she has four ears. i don't think it was ever explained. when she was younger / first starting out she hid them under her bandana but then she got self confidence about it. she also either has her own Wind Ring or borrows Klonoa's, i don't remember which - i think originally she borrowed Klonoa's, but then got her own later on?

stop everything. klonoa, get the banana

kaoticGenome:

aka: Katie A., kG pronouns: she/her

(image on right is Very old)

remember when homestuck? yeah. part of a 4-player (later 6-player) fan session from 2011ish, and while she wasn't quite the voice of reason she was definitely the voice of "WHAT THE FUCK?". originally her actual initials were KG and not just her chumhandle, but after finding out about her session's ectobiology she decided to break the mold and took her ecto-dad's last name.

her ecto-dad is also a First Guardian, a late-arrival session member, and the son of Ninten from Earthbound. i didn't process the implications of that last part until 10 years later.

originally she was the Scribe of Dawn in the Land of Ruins and Twilight, but she'd probably be a Heir of Heart now when using the canon classpects because [gestures at this entire masterpost]. her weapon of choice was bladekind i think, and eventually she ended up with a kusarigama But With A Sword and somehow didn't kill herself with it.

was like the only KL-era KG that wasn’t interchangeable with the others but HAHA NOT FOR LONG! although i think her reaction to being a crucial part of KGverse would be to turn around and leave. see you space weeb, have fun playing okami

Karami:

aka: karelessGuitarist, kG (the other one) pronouns: she/her

the troll version of Katie A., sort of! ish! they're both KGs and are a rare instance of there being more than one KG in the same setting, but they're still kinda from different universes so eh. i don't think they ever met.

in the previous version of the masterpost i described her as "the sequel to Nepeta" and that's still accurate. i don't have much documentation on her but i think her deal was that she would just beat the absolute shit out of people that were mean to her matesprit online. imagine you're blogging and a catgirl crawls through your window to punch you in the face

she didn't get much use but did cameo in a MSPFA as a cute kitty alien! (she's the one on the far left :D)

Plus & Minus:

aka: Katie R., the Ride System pronouns: she/her (both), they/them (plural)

a resident of Echo Ridge and rather withdrawn, Katie R. struggled with identity and finding a place to belong. despite making friends and having the whole world open up in front of her, finding out about the extended multiverse only made her struggle harder to find somewhere to fit in, and this rising stress (along with the chaos of being one of the first KGs) caused her to buckle under the pressure.

this got the attention of the FM-ian Gemini. now with the ability to wavechange into Gemini Spark, the two Katies scuffled over choosing to be heroes or be villains. Plus wanted to use her new powers to fight evil and help her friends, while Minus was teenage angst and trauma personified and would sabotage Plus at every turn. this led to Gemini Spark being more of a hindrance than anything else, especially once the Andromeda Key came into play.

these two are terrible plural rep. but they also ended up being a stepping stone to figuring out my plurality! so they have one (1) rights.

two of them thursday

Adagio:

aka: Katie Adagio pronouns: she/her

originally a percy jackson OC, now is... i don't know??? generic urban fantasy? in the PJatO incarnation she was a daughter of Apollo and got cursed to be a cat after royally screwing up a quest (it never fully wore off). on the plus side, she now has catlike reflexes on top of her demigod powers of incredible aim!

also she a cane (not pictured) because apparently she got mauled by a hellhound and has a permanent limp as a result and i did not remember this until looking up the deviantart posts Just Now? what the heck. she also has a mechanical wolf as a companion, which you'd think would set off the hellhound-induced dog phobia that's mentioned several times in her old bio but.. eh...?

her non-fandom incarnation, on the other hand, got caught in a gateway between the human and magical worlds which gave her a) truesight b) cool glowy magical tattoos and c) being a catgirl. the "being a catgirl" is a constant.

might've graduated from being a KG but i like including her anyway because her design's fun and it's not like i ever wrote the urban fantasy story she was gonna be the protag of

Self:

aka: SI pronouns: she/her

second instance of a KG after Ellis, and out-of-character she's one of the reasons why the "multiversal anomaly" thing started in the first place because she was interchangeable with Heart, Plus, and Ellis. she just straight up doesn't bother making a distinction between herself and her "other selves", and everybody around her just kinda has to deal with it. it helps that she's from the KL era so worldhopping and AUs were just kinda a thing that happened all the time.

she kinda ended up being part of a trio with two other characters that would show up in other timelines, although Self's universe was the main one where all three of them were together i think.

her Personas are Nekomata and Byakko and i honestly don't remember anything else about her compared to the other KGs from her era because of the whole "being interchangeable" thing.

ok that's everybody. bye

[jellyryans]

Oikawa is having trouble handling Iwaizumi and Noya’s relationship. More specifically, he’s having issues with the fact that Noya doesn’t seem the least bit intimidated by him. He goes to Suga, who tries his best to be a supportive boyfriend. He does, really. 706 words.

[More credit to @yaboyultraviolet for the headcanon that Oikawa is pretty concerned that Noya isn’t jealous of his beauty, his volleyball skills, his history with Iwa-chan, or did he mention his BEAUTY?! Thank you for your humor, your brilliance, and for continuing to indulge me.]

Suga had been reading in bed, enjoying the rays of sunshine that filtered through the gauzy curtains, crept over the carpet, and stretched onto the quilt, sinking their fingers of light through the fabric and onto Suga’s limbs. He had been enjoying the still quiet of the morning when Oikawa burst into the bedroom, home early from his pick-up game with Iwaizumi and Nishinoya, and in three long strides, he flopped right on top of Suga and buried his head in Suga’s cotton shirt, his feet hanging haphazardly off the end of the bed. He sniffed and groaned and Suga ran his hands through Oikawa’s hair, longer than it had been in ages, and still perfect. Always perfect.

He already knew what the problem was, but, as usual, he waited for Oikawa to work through it himself. Oikawa mumbled incoherently into Suga’s shoulder for a couple minutes before groaning loudly.

“My beauty!”

There it was. Noya and Iwaizumi had been dating for months, and every time they hung out Oikawa tried his very best to knock Noya down a few pegs, to make him wild with envy. And, every time, Noya was unaffected by Oikawa’s peacocking. Suga knew that Oikawa was happy for them, that Iwaizumi was happy, and that they all had a good time together, but it didn’t stop Oikawa from whipping out every card in his, admittedly, expansive deck and working himself up in the face of Noya’s unwavering confidence.

“I know,” Suga cooed in response.

Oikawa whimpered, not unlike a puppy that strayed too far from its mother. “And my impressive volleyball skills!”

“Oh Tooru, I know,” he repeated softly, trying to keep the budding laughter from his voice.

“And my long and detailed history with Iwa-chan!”

Suga kissed the top of Oikawa’s head and hummed, afraid his words would betray the giggles he felt bubbling up in his chest.

“But my beauty!” Oikawa squealed.

Unable to hold it in any longer, Suga snorted. Oikawa propped himself up and looked at Suga, faced scrunched unpleasantly with frustration and signature crocodile tears streaming down his cheeks. “Are you laughing at me? My very own boyfriend?”

Suga brought his hand up to his mouth to muffle the peals of laughter, but the rapid rising and falling of his diaphragm was hard to hide. Oikawa huffed and settled back down into Suga’s chest with a pout. “Fine, Kou-chan, turn against me. Everyone is always turning against me.” He wrapped his arms around Suga’s waist and squeezed tightly. “Who’s next? Mattsun? Makki?”

“Oh, honey.” Suga shifted so that Oikawa’s arms could stay wrapped around him without losing circulation. He ran his hands through Oikawa’s hair again and admired the way the silken strands parted for his fingers like water. “You know people aren’t picking sides.”

“I know, but, Kou-chan,” Oikawa whispered, “you’re still on my side, right?”

Suga looked down across the expanse of Oikawa’s body, which almost completely covered his own, and bit his tongue with a smile. “Well, I’m currently stuck under your massive body, so I couldn’t go anywhere, even if I wanted.”

Oikawa shot up immediately and fixed Suga with a dramatic scowl. “Massive?!”

Suga sat up as well, leaned toward Oikawa, and kissed him. When he pulled back, Oikawa was still pouting, but his eyes softened. Suga smiled wide and cupped Oikawa’s face in his hands. “Yes, Tooru, so massive, so tall, so swarthy, so beautiful. So amazing at volleyball. Such a good friend. An even better boyfriend. Now,” Suga settled back down into the bed and beckoned Oikawa toward him. “Come back here.”

“Fine,” Oikawa protested weakly.

Ten minutes later, Suga snapped a photo of Oikawa napping soundly next to him. He typed out a message to Noya and Iwaizumi.

>>>The grand king is finally down after another grand tantrum. Congrats.

Suga’s phone buzzed with a text from Noya.

>>> lol. Would send you a pic of Iwaizumi but we’re indecent.

He rolled his eyes at the fifteen winking faces Noya had added to the message, then put his phone down, grabbed his book, and snuggled up next to Oikawa, content to enjoy the rest of the morning sun with the happy addition of his boyfriend’s light snores and added warmth.

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Treasure of the Golden Suns Reviews: Wronguay in Ronguay (Paid for by Patreons)

Hello all you happy people and welcome back to the genesis of magillicutty   Ducktales with the second part of my months long look at Treasure of the Golden Suns, the mini series that kicked off the series. These reviews are a result of me hitting my first patreon stretch goal. I just did a LONGGG post outlining those here on tumblr so hit that up and help join my patreon so I can reach them and make some more moolah to help keep this my primary job. 

So speaking of that job we’re back to The Treasure of the Golden Suns and the first chapter, while not bad, was a tad disappointing, especially since I really liked it on first viewing. So will the second chapter fair just as bad or be a massive improvement? The only way to find out is under the cut. 

Previously on Ducktales: Donald shoved off with the navy leaving the boys with Scrooge, with both growing to care about one another... both out of nowhere

The boys ended up embroiled int he Beagle Boys theft of a wooden ship for a mysterious gentleman named El Capitan whose preferedd method of dealing with enterlopers.. was to use a chair like a lion tamer. After being falsely blamed for the theft, the boys ended up chasing the beagles to Scrooge’s candy factory, were vindicated and fought them off with Scrooge’s help , ending with the boys getting covered in choclate.  while El Capitan escaped vowing to find the gold. Now knowing the wooden ship was a map, the family prepared to set off

And that’s where we pick up. The reporter from last episode comments on the beagle bust and while the Beagles are hauled off, with Burger asking if they have any milk after eating his chocolate prison. Because his only  character trait is that...

The camera does linger on an impression the ship made in the chocolate... hmmmmmm.

Meanwhile we meet FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD. As I said with Catch as Cash Can, he’s not BAD, just not NEARLY as memorable as the triumphantly insane 2017 version. He’s sitll a good villian and we’ll see why soon, he just has the unenviable task of competiting with a far more iconic versoin made decades later whose far more my type of bad guy. El Captian calls him and offers to make him the richest duck in the world, which he naturally is happy to hear him out on. El Captian as a character i’ll get into more.. but for now let’s talk about his weird fucking voice. For some reason, Jim is doing a Dr. Claw impression, to the point I thought this was Frank Welker. I will grant it’s better than a horrible latinx sterotype, and given the grand kishke and a minor character in this very episode, they were NOT above those, but its’ still just.. weird. He just sounds like he’s possesed with about 80 or 90 demons for no explained reason. 

Back at the mansion, Scrooge and the Boys are both preparing to go after the treasure on the boat map: Scrooge is practicing vacuming it up using the pool and a sea safe vacum likely invented by Gyro, while the boys find the right coordinates to the treasure. Scrooge naturally.. is a bit of a dick about it, refusing to take them along despite them having found it, and saying they can stay with Duckworth. Duckworth’s response is about what you’d expect:

However before they can argue about this, there’s a bang at the door: It’s Flinty and here’s where the parts of this Glomgold I DO like, that do make him standout, if not as much sa his succesor shine: He plays scrooge, offering him 2 million for the Candy Factory. Naturally not realizing what Flinty’s getting out of the deal, Scrooge jumps at a quick and easy 2 million, since he knows it’ll cost MORE than that just to fix up the place. Flinty then proposes a contest: the two of them try to make as much money as possible from scratch in two days. No rules, no barriers, just whoever dosen’t have more money than the other by the end has to eat Flinty’s hat. Scrooge accepts.. but then realizes he has to eat crow and allow the boys along. With Scrooge sufficently blackmailed, the boys reveal where the treasure is: Ronguay, a made up south american county. Why they did so.. well just wait a second. And no it’s not just for the tile... but your close. 

No we find out why as they take the cheapest flight avaliable to Ronguay, only for the boys their going the Wrong way to Ronguay. 

Yeah I love a good pun but I draw the line at desinging an ENTIRE COUNTRY for a really obvious one. I have standards on this blog! Standards that include thirsting after Keith David , DBZA refrences up the whazoo and posting this gif of David Byrne at every given opportunity. 

Look my standards are weird, but their still standards. I draw the line at making a stupid pun when there’s a rich number of countries in South America. I’m not saying Carl Barks was ever against making up a country, he probably did, could be wrong, but more often than not he did his homework instead, as did his succesor Don Rosa. It feels lazy to just make up a country when you really don’t have to and could’ve just found one with a massive rainy season for your children’s cartoon. It’s not hard. I mean it’s harder than now: now I could just google “what south american countries have torrental rains”.. but it’s not like you guys could’n’t just go to a bookstore and buy a refrence book or a library and rent one. I mean if they ran out of time to do anyresearch fine, but even for the 1980′s it wasn’t that difficult to at least TRY. 

Regardless it turns out the pilot is a robot pilot.. who looks amazing but  as it’s a flintheart glomgold company joint is purposfuly tring to keep them off path. Look they didn’t have to unplug the poor guy. I know what he wants. 

So now on the right way to Ronguay our heroes lan only to find the locals all fleeing in terror of something. Scrooge heads in for suplies anyway and finds... a VERY racist sounding clerk. Seriously just to picture this.. picture say .. Michael Scott trying to do an mexican accent. You good and cringing? If not, adapt that to your doofus sitcom character or republican senator of choice There you go. You see my point. It’s not the WORST i’ve seen.. but only because I sat through the Rediculous 6 with my best friend, one of three, Cory, for a podcast we tried doing a year or two ago. I’ve seen Rob Schinder do  this for an entire movie. In 2015 no less. So my threshold for HORRIFCALLY offensive is vast and deep. But this is still garden variety racist and should not have been okay then or now. 

And it really SHOULD have the warning label on it. I’m fully in favor of the content warnings Disney started using, and it’s why I got so fucking annoyed during all the talk about it when it happend to the Muppet Show, ESPECIALLY when the republicans got a hold of it and accused them of “Canceling the muppets”. This is NOT fucking cancelation, this is a way to have the past there for posterity, while acknolding it sucked and was NEVER okay. It’s the best way to do this in my opinon, and it bothers me a LOT that a bunch of jagoffs coopted it and threw a hissy fit about Disney trying to do the right goddamn thing. And i’m also okay with leaving some media out. Disney + is a family platform. While keeping classic movies and shows on there with a proper warning is one thing, it’s another to not put song of the south or that episode of the muppets where the host later turned out ot be a pedophile on there. Some things just don’t have nearly enough worth to outpace the harm they can do. And it’s up to companies and consumers to figure out what fits where. 

Anyways our heroes find a llama for transport and that the map is seemingly a dead end to the desert. But Scrooge is determined to press on... and while he does El Capitan and Glomgold are following him, though the two clearly don’t agree on whose in charge, or if El Captian sounds like dr claw or not. They followed with their own copy of the map taken from the chocolate. 

As things progress the rain starts.. and our heroes find out via the JWG that this is what the citzens were all running from. They loose the llama, though are able to salvage some of their suplies it was carrying, and Scrooge nearly gives up to dispair. It’s a good, if sudden, character moment: Scrooge genuinely laments that he was worried one day he’d loose his step.. and stop being one step ahead of everyone. It shows some much needed vunerablity.. that beneath his boisterious and cantankerious usual personality he’s deathly afraid his age will eventualy mean he’ll have to stop..and having to stop adventuring and stop working and stop doing eveyrthing that makes him Scrooge McDuck is a fate worse than death. 

Thankfully he dosen’t as via a figure on the ship, Huey, Dewey or Louie figures out, in a REALLY amazing twist, that the desert itself was the ocean: the ship that has the treasure simply sailed here and hid it. So while our heroes reflect, Glomgold decides to take them out NOW while he has the chance over El Captian’s protests, as the good captain only cares about the gold. But Glomgold is right.. from a villianous point of view at least. leaving them alive is a waste.. granted he does so.. in a way that makes my brain cry out in pain and want to run. He lights a stick of dynamite. In a torrential rainstorm. 

I mean i’d expect 2017 Glomgold to try it and have it fail.. not to have the actually clever 87 version not only try something this stupid BUT HAVE IT WORK. THE FUSE LIGHTS. IT’S READY TO GO OFF. HE ONLY STOPS IT BECAUSE HIS MAP GETS EATEN AND THEY NEED SCROOGE’S IN TACT. JUST HOW DO YOU WHY DO YOU AUGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

Okay i’m.. i’m good now. So after that bit of nonsense and some taking my medication, our heroes take shelter in a cave. The grusome twosome try to sneak in while their asleep.. only to trigger the alarms the boys set up using their pots and pans, a “junior woodchuck alarm”. Clever little bastards. 

The tables quickly turn though as Thing one and Thing Two trap our heroes in the cave.. as i’ts flooding. Scrooge has them press on in hopes of finding a way out, and it rises further and furthe ran excenelty tense scene. But eventually our heroes manage to find somewhere safe in time: the shipwrecked boat with all the gold. Scrooge even puts on a nifty golden conquestador’s helmet. 

Naturally since we have minutes left in the episode the bad guys show up and have a gun... they never had before. 

Regardless our heroes are lowered into the lifeboat at gunpoint as the ship goes out to sea and i’ts revealed el captain worked on teh ship as he knows the full manifest.

However both villians personal flaws end up doing them in: Glomgold’s need to gloat means he gives Scrooge a golden coin as he mocks him about winning the bet... only for El Captain to fly into an insane rage demanding he swim out and get it despite just how LITTLE he really needs the coin. He and Glomgold struggle over the ships canon, both no longer needing the other and eventually fire off a ball that capsizes the ship. El Captian seemingly drowns while Glomgold is forced onto the life boat with the McDucks.. and finds out he lost as while he and Scrooge both lost the treasure the coin he tossed scrooge means Scrooge still has made more money. So Glomgold prepares to eat his hat and El Captian prepares for vengance and to get his gold back. 

Final Thoughts on Wronguay in Ronguay: The iffy bit with the store clerk aside.. this episdoe is easily the best 87 Episode i’ve seen.  It captures the spirit of barks perfectly with plenty of intresting twists that kept me engaged the whole time, some great jokes, and two great villians who are done in soley by their own greed and neurosusi> it’s really great stuff and what I expected more and remember more from the 87 Series: top notch adventure in the barks style but wiht it’s own unique touches. While the pilot was a bit rough due to all the ground it tried to cover, this episode, now having the basic formula of the series pretty much set, is allowed to just be a fun, daring adventure story that brilliantly builds off the last episode but can be wholly enjoyed on it’s own. Hopefully this momentum keeps because I don’t remember being the fondest of the next two episodes.. and given that content warning I think we’re in for a rough time next month. 

If you liked htis join my patreon, etc etc, I went into that mor eup top. Till All Are One, See you at the next Rainbow. 

[noxrynne]

Okay, sooooo I considered doing this when it was actually One Month, but a small part of me felt it might be a bit silly. Kinda since I remember being -that- person who rolled eyes at One-Monthiversaries (which, I'm not gonna lie, was a lot of me being a fairly bitter teen, but anyway). BUT anyway that's what readmores are for right? So I don't accidentally assault people who don't care with walls of text about my life and everything?

BUT ANYWAY (x3)

I don't think I've ever felt this happy before. Serein is so, so incredibly, kind and sweet. She is so caring, loving and I feel so excited when I get up in the morning (or afternoon, alright) to talk with her about whatever, even if it's just sending a ton of hearts back and forth. I've never felt this cared for before, or cared about, or loved. And every day I'm surprised by how -much- we have in common, and even the things we don't have in common (ie: I like to eat baby tomatoes, and I had a raw onion eating phase that I blame on Holes) we still laugh about those things and poke friendly fun. Honestly, it's so... indescribably wonderful, for me. Lately I've felt so much more confident in myself, I've felt so much more motivated to get things done (I mean, I have a number of things I still need to do but I've been focusing them down one at a time), I've never felt so... I think, attractive? Before? The sweet, kind words she always has for me whenever I post a picture of myself always uplift my spirits a lot (and I've shown her ones on my bad days, like, rolled out of bed unshaven hair everywhere days x.x;;; ). It's a far cry from how I felt before, since I always had a nagging feeling that I wasn't... like, an attractive woman. That my shoulders were too big, my chest too broad, my eyebrows too thick, my jaw too square and everything. But with all the kind words, all the kind things she's said, all the wonderful, confidence and self-esteem help she's been: I feel so much better, to where I can be like "hell yeah I'm pretty" which is in and of itself a -really- knew thing for me to think.

And she's also absolutely gorgeous! And so beautiful! I always feel silly whenever she shows me a recent selfie she took because I'm the blushing, smiling, giggly doofus on the other end who is trying to think of the words I want to say when I'm more of an "aaaaaaaa" and suddenly hugs type of person. Plus, she does eyeliner better than I do ( my eye makeup is the hardest part for me to do x.x;;; ). And I love reblogging her pictures on tumblr just all like "YEAH THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL"

Not gonna lie, I'm still so surprised ever since she and I started talking and actually got together. I was a massive ball of awkwardness -- kinda just, again, surprised and sitting at my computer and blushing and smiling and trying to think of the words I wanted to say (I'm terrible with words, especially when I'm really flustered/flattered). But it's been the most wonderful month and more in my life, for me. I can't honestly remember the last time I felt quite like this -- so positive, smiling all the time, blushing and giggling, excited for the future, even. Before I was always a massive ball of depressed anxiety incarnate, and I mean I still deal with anxiety and nerves, but she's always there to help me with them when they get bad for me. And she always knows how to make me feel better if I'm upset. I've only had one breakdown, and that was the day after we kinda became girlfriends, but again I kinda feel that was more related to medication side effects than anything else, since there was no other rhyme or reason for it I could honestly think of. (She was also really awesome to talk to and everything when I was really sick, too, and gave really good suggestions when I was hungry but couldn't eat solid food without risking seeing it again).

Oh and when she talks about music! Or anything she gets excited about! It's so cute and lovely, and it makes me so happy when she's excited. I ramble a lot about the things I like, too, and in the past I always got really self conscious and nervous whenever I realized I was doing it. Like, I always felt I was annoying the people around me, or that everyone would secretly wish I'd shut up already since... I just, I get overexcited really easily about things I like. Namely video games, but also trading card games, or roleplaying, writing and so on. I've cut myself off a lot when I noticed myself rambling to Serein about everything, but she always... she always says it's really cute and that she enjoys reading my rambling and everything, and it makes me feel really... well, good? Like appreciated? I dunno, it’s one of those things that I find really sweet, and kind. ^.^;;;;

She's also one of the few people I've ever like, felt extremely safe and comfortable with. I've talked about a lot of stuff with her that I haven't told anyone before, some of that stuff more since it can make me have an anxiety attack if it's not approached delicately or I feel uncomfortable/unsafe, like if I'd think someone I'd talk about it with wouldn't keep it between us, or might downplay it since it's an incredibly impactful thing to me (and why I blacklist some tags on tumblr). I don't want to get into the details behind it, but when I told her that she made me feel so loved and cared for and appreciated (I know I repeat that a lot), that I like... well, started crying, but happy... crying? Like feeling so happy and so warm and so loved tears come from feeling that intense happiness? I never cried from feeling happy before, so it was kinda weird for me (I mean it still is, I never really thought it was something I could feel).

I've just never felt so loved, I've never felt so appreciated, so cared for, so confident, so motivated, so positive and so happy before in my entire life. Like, there aren't words out there I feel like I can use to accurately describe it all. And I still blush and giggle and smile and had my face with my hands in a weird shyish way when she reblogs my selfies and everything.

And I'm so excited for March to come! I hope everything goes well and stuff, but yes!

I really love her.

[evenstevensranked]

#52: Season 2, Episode 6 - “Broadcast Blues”

Ren enters a contest to become Cynthia Mills’ Junior Reporter. Louis and Twitty devise a plan that includes feeding Beans answers to any question you could think of through an earpiece — Making him seem like a boy genius. Ren falls for it and decides to use Beans for her audition tape story. Yeah, that doesn’t work out too well. Meanwhile, Donnie is tired of seeming dumb and rents a videotape called “Look Smart, Be Smart” - An instructional video on how to appear intelligent.  

This episode opens with two contrasting scenes. We see Ren neatly preparing to watch TV, which is interspersed with sped-up shots of Louis and Twitty putting on raincoats and pants like they’re preparing for a flood in Louis’ filthy room. They run downstairs and noisily join Ren on the couch. We find out that Cynthia Mills has become Ren’s new idol and she’s excited to watch her on the 6 o’clock news. That’s a little weird to me. I feel like Cynthia has always been their local news anchor. Out of nowhere, Ren is like “she’s amazing!!” But, eh. Let’s just go with it for the sake of the episode.

Louis and Twitty have a local news idol of their own that they’re excited to watch: Weatherman/“comedian” (I use that word very lightly) Zippy Winds. I'm gonna go ahead and be a wet blanket here, much like Ren in this scene, and say that Zippy is annoying as helllll. Louis and Twitty are acting like toddlers, and I can't help but cringe a bit. Like, Zippy literally seems like a character you'd find on a Playhouse Disney show. If I didn't know any better, I would swear he walked off the set of The Wiggles and right onto the Sacramento news. I know Louis and Twitty can be immature and it's great sometimes... but this always felt a little overkill to me.

Ren is me. Like........ what the heck. 

Ren tells Louis and Twitty that she’s going to submit an audition tape to become Cynthia’s Junior Reporter. They realize there’s a chance they could meet Zippy if she won. So, Louis makes her “promise on all that is holy” that she’ll introduce them. The only problem here is that Ren's audition tape is pretty weak. She films a sample news report on whether or not students at Lawrence find the wombat mascot offensive to wombats and other living creatures. She interviews Tawny and Tawny is like “Yes, I’d have to agree with that! If a wombat dressed up like a human and jumped around like a doofus, I’d be pretty insulted.” - Something tells me both Ren and Tawny would be Tumblr Social Justice Warriors if Even Stevens took place in 2017. Back then, they used to call Tawny an “Activist” lol, so probably.  

Tawny is also me. 

The subplot is introduced with Donnie sneakily watching a VHS tape called "Look Smart, Be Smart." He's apparently tired of being an airhead and wants to be respected for his brain. Good luck with that! This is definitely both my favorite, and objectively the best, Donnie subplot. Which is basically why I've ranked this episode a little higher than I originally thought I would. It's a hysterical side story! The tape comes with a little box of materials. One of the first steps to appearing intelligent is to put on a pair of glasses from the box. Naturally. Donnie's adorable here, though. You can tell that he really feels like the guy on the tape believes in him, lol.

Louis sees the draft of Ren’s audition video and thinks it’s super lame. They’ll never get to meet Zippy if she submits something like that. There’s a bit where Twitty says she should do it on bacon because it’s “crispy, salty and nature’s candy.” Again, they were ahead of the game with the bacon fixation.

Beans comes over and Donnie decides to start trying out some of the new smart tips he’s learned from the tape. Beans asks if he smells bacon, and if I were Beans I’d probably think Donnie spiraled into an existential crisis over the simple question. He thinks back to what the tape taught him: 

“When asked a question, don’t blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. Take a moment to ponder, and stroke your chin. Remember! For all anyone knows, you might be a bonafide genius!”

Beans is standing there all confused and just says “What part of bacon don’t you understand?” That’s pretty great, I must say. Donnie responds “Hey! For all you know I might be a bonafide genius!” Bless his soul.

This episode is actually only Beans’ second appearance ever and the first time he shows interest in bacon, btw! He goes into the kitchen and tries to steal some from Louis and Twitty, who are still brainstorming a better sample news story for Ren. Louis tells Beans to get out because he and Twitty are big-boy thinking. So, Beans repeats what Donnie said (The “bonafide genius" line) and Louis immediately gets an idea.  

He and Twitty end up feeding information to Beans through an earpiece hidden in a hat. They send him into Ren’s room and have him start spouting information. They quickly trick Ren into thinking he’s a genius, and she right away decides to use Beans for her audition. She records a tape of her asking him super obscure questions, which he miraculously knows the answers to. Much to Louis and Twitty’s excitement, she ends up getting the gig! The only issue is that the station wants her to do the Beans story live on air… and Beans ain’t no real-life genius. Problem.

Louis and Twitty are freaking out trying to find a way around this. Twitty thinks they should just get it over with and tell Ren, he says that she’d understand. Then Louis envisions Ren yanking his ear like an elastic out of anger after hearing the truth. Just another weird gag. (You know I’m not a fan of those.) In the end, they just decide to continue feeding Beans answers and hope for the best. Side note: Louis is extra shouty in this episode for some reason. I have no idea why, but it’s just a little much.

I really just... can’t get on board with this stuff, man. 

Donnie starts taking the advice from the “Look Smart, Be Smart” tape very seriously in everyday life. But, it unfortunately only makes him seem even dumber than before. It’s WONDERFUL! And results in what is definitely my favorite scene of the episode. Me explaining or quoting it won’t do it justice, so I’m just gonna embed it here for you to watch:

Once they get to the news station, Louis and Twitty start freaking out a bit. They have to keep coming up with excuses for Beans and his un-genius-like weirdness. (“He needs his hat to keep his brain warm!” “Bacon is his brain food!”) But their biggest worry is finding a phone jack to connect their laptop to the internet so they can feed Beans information. I know I’ve already said a few times now that technology is really the only thing that’s dated on this show, but... It’s true, lol. Pretty crazy that this was the situation 14 years ago. Today, we all have the internet at our fingertips with data/wifi. They could just throw a Bluetooth earpiece on Beans and feed him everything from their smartphones/a phone call, lol. Dang. Maybe we really are ~futuristic~ today after all.

Donnie decides to try out his smart skills again on Cynthia Mills this time! This is great. It’s clear as day that Cynthia has watched the tape, too. She’s wearing the same glasses, using “cornucopia” in a sentence, and repeating questions back at Donnie. They’re both so confused by each other. It’s a fun bit and another reason why this Donnie plot is so strong. This scene also serves as the first step to #exposing Cynthia as a phony. Ren walks over to Donnie saying “Isn’t Cynthia brilliant?!” and Donnie warns her that she might not be all that Ren thinks she is.

Beans ends up accidentally telling Ren what’s up. She confronts Louis and Twitty and is pretty furious. She comes waltzing into the control room where they’re hiding and they FREAK OUT. It’s actually pretty funny. There is a fabulous Louis Scream here and Shia does that thing where he puts the neck of his shirt over his head. I freaking love it when he does that. I die every time. 

The scene moved pretty fast. This is the best screen cap I could get. You get the idea, lol. 

Ren says that the point of being a reporter is to tell the truth, so she has an obligation to tell Cynthia what’s really going on. She tries to tell her, but Cynthia cuts her off before she gets a chance to tell the truth. Turns out, Cynthia breaks the news to Ren that she has decided to take over the Beans story to further her career. She’s pretty rude about it. It’s super slimy. Ugh. Sooo, even though Ren was initially po’d at Louis and Twitty for their elaborate scam, she decides to kick back, relax and let the story go to air so that Cynthia looks like a darn fool.

This part is pretty great. Cynthia is so arrogant and excited to have Beans on the show. She introduces him by saying “Socrates, Galileo, Einstein... Bernard Aranguren. Possibly the four greatest minds to have graced this planet.” Incredible. Bean’s immediately follows it up with:

Beans: “Is this my water cup?” Cynthia: “Uh… Yes, it is.” Beans: “Mmmmm! I like water.”  

Basically, the story goes down in flames. Beans knows literally nothing and starts climbing all over the desk. Cynthia is distraught. It’s satisfying.

The gang watching Cynthia fail miserably. Same. 

The episode ends with Louis and Twitty “meeting” Zippy. He just opens his dressing room door and sprays them with water. They’re fine with that, though. So.

Yeaaaah. Idk, man. I just don’t particularly care for this one too much. Like, I said though.. I LOVEEEE the Donnie plot -- specifically the scene I included here -- and wanted to show him some love. But, as you can see.. that takes up about 1 minute out of 22. So, not exactly enough to save the whole thing for me. At first, I thought it might just be my dislike for Beans that’s clouding my judgment here, but I don’t think so. As I mentioned, Louis and Twitty are next level goofy and it’s yet another episode where Louis is a little selfish. I have to keep reminding myself what I’m basing my rankings on. And of course, one of them is laughs. I, unfortunately, found myself... not laughing... all that much here. :( Well, except for the parts I highlighted. 

Chime in via disqus below as usual! :D

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