#tumblr also won't let me tab bullet points forward but it's whatever

[fruitlicense]

Driving in Legend of Korra

@kiyomizuki and I were talking about how different characters would drive because we were wondering what would happen when/if Bolin learned to drive and this was the result

Disclaimer: as queer people ourselves, we went into this knowing that gay people can’t drive and also that it’s a joke, this whole thing is a joke

The Krew

Korra can’t drive because she’s gay (bisexual but the point stands)

Asami can drive the best out of all of them, but she also likes to drive fast, so she’s maybe not the ideal teacher

Mako can drive well but he has no patience on the road. If he’s “cool under fire” when bending the stress has to come out somewhere and that somewhere is ROAD RAGE

Bolin can’t drive because he’s Bolin (sorry Bolin, but this is funny)

Pabu is banned from the front seat on Mako’s orders after he jumped onto the steering wheel and almost killed them

Naga can’t even fit in a car, but yes she absolutely would hang out the window with a blissful doggy smile

Republic City & Air Temple Island

Wu doesn’t know what a steering wheel is. Just kidding, he actually knows a ton about cars (rich kid thing?), he just can’t drive

Lin can drive, but where do you think Mako picked up the road rage from? She’s used to car chases where saving the car is low priority and she can hang out the window throwing rocks at people

Bumi can drive, but no one’s ever seen him do it and they don’t believe him when he says he can

Kya claims she can’t drive or do math because she’s gay. Bumi drives her places, but she also perpetuates the “Bumi can’t drive” rumor

Tenzin knows how to drive in theory, but he’s been traveling by sky bison for so long that his knowledge is useless

Pema is one of the the few safe drivers Korra knows. She’s a mom, so this is correct

Kai and Jinora drive like your average high schoolers on their learner’s permits (badly, but they’re trying their best)

Ikki is a distracted driver who blasts music, but it’s good music

Never put Meelo behind a wheel ever

Rohan’s a baby, he can’t drive

The Metal Clan

Baatar Sr. is a good driver too. I can’t tell you why, he just seems like a safe driver.

Suyin is the LoK version of a soccer mom with a minivan and shit music taste, don’t give her the aux cord (we love her, but seriously, don’t)

Baatar Jr. has road rage worse than Lin and Mako’s. He also drives Huan places to answer for his war crimes

Huan doesn’t give a fuck about cars until Ikki suggests painting them. He goes on a two-week-long spray painting spree with the Zaofu jeeps

Opal knows how to drive, but she hasn’t driven since she became an airbender, so she’s a useless driving teacher. She told Bolin she couldn’t teach him and there was a terrifying week or so where he went to Wei and Wing before Pema and Baatar Sr. intervened and took over

Wei and Wing are a danger to the public behind the wheel, near-Korra levels of Bad. Every grocery run is NOT actually a race, but you wouldn’t know it based on their driving

Kuvira can drive, but she doesn’t do it often because she says it ruins her aesthetic. She knows how because it’s a useful skill, she just doesn’t and it pisses Baatar Jr. off to no end

The Gaang

The only person worse at driving than Korra is Toph. Yes, she has attempted to drive on multiple occasions, and no it was not a good idea

Even Zuko is a better driver than Korra, and he’s gay and half-blind. He has a dragon though, he doesn’t need cars

Aang never learned to drive and he’s fine with that, he has Appa

Sokka is a decent driver, but just bad enough that you notice. He definitely takes corners too fast and merges lanes like an asshole, but he’s a better driver than Toph and Zuko so you take what you can get

No one thinks Katara can drive but she’s pretty good at it. Maybe a little slower as she’s aged, but she’s average. Tenzin is jealous

Suki is a good driver. She knows the rules of the road, follows them when necessary, and also will drive down empty highways at 95 miles an hour because she’s just that cool 

Water Tribes

Tonraq can drive a snowmobile but not a car? He seems fine with it

Korra: dad you need to learn to drive Tonraq: on what road

Varrick can drive, but he doesn’t listen to the rules of the road and he blasts fuckboi rap

Zhu Li drives, mostly, because she’s a law-abiding citizen

Eska and Desna have a chauffeur

Fire Nation

Does Izumi drive? We’ll never know

Iroh II has only ever driven military jeeps. He can drive a getaway car, but he doesn’t know what a traffic light means. He can drive boats and planes though (drive isn’t the word but I don’t know what the word is)