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diabolicalacid · 2 years ago

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ONCE MORE TO SEE YOU 🫧🎐

“loving me makes you happy but it also hurts you all the same?” atsumu repeats along the lines of your recent twitter post, grabbing onto the cutlery in front of him, inspecting it with the thought of making an addition to his collection. it doesn’t click any buttons inside your head when he says it, because you’ve already forgotten what you posted yesterday. it only deposits confusion.

“huh?” you turn around to look at him, quite perplexed at the sudden statement from his end. you’re a few aisles ahead of him, taking a brief look at some kitchen supplies. you walk backwards, closer to him, dropping the set of forks someplace on the shelf it doesn’t belong to.

“i thought we weren’t on talking terms?” you wiggle your brows at him, teasing as you pulls at his cheeks, chuckling.

atsumu can’t help but smile at the sound of your laughter, but at the same time, he’s provoked, and he’s been thinking about your post since you published it twenty four hours ago. very oddly of him because it shouldn’t be bothering him in the first place. but he didn’t think of the implications at all. he just wants to have a conversation with you.

atsumu interjects your laughter, a rather serious tone to his usually playful voice, “i’m being serious, yn.” he takes your hand off his cheek, but he doesn’t let it go, holding onto it tightly.

“okay, okay,” you roll your eyes at him, bemused that he ruined the moment. “what is it, tsumi?” you raise the question genuinely, a curious look stitched into your face while you ask once again, “what are you talking about?”

“your post from yesterday, yn.” he mentions, scrimmaging through your twitter account to find the particular post, then holds up his phone for you to take a look at.

it comes back to you in an instant. you didn’t think atsumu would even bother looking into the innuendo of your social media captions as much as he’s doing it right now. posting that didn’t feel like it would come with a string of consequences. really, it was just your thought in that moment, nothing more. nothing less. so now that your “boyfriend” is picking a conversation regarding the same, you can’t help but realise the nervousness pooling at the base of your belly. you pull your hand towards yourself, separating it from his hold, sliding it into the pocket of your hoodie.

“is this about me, yn?” he inquires, gulping air down his throat, looking at you in anticipation, possibly hoping it isn’t directed towards him.

you don’t understand what about this makes him so sad, because it’s definitely not the fact that he loves you, or that he’s scared that he might have messed things up. perhaps, it’s that he doesn’t want people on the internet to think foul stuff about him. then again, ironically enough, he has carved a dirty reputation for himself already.

“no, definitely not, tsumi.” you answer his doubt with denial, shaking your head away from his gaze, losing eye contact. you sigh, a false sense of relief settles within your veins as you think you’re desisting from an interrogation.

“it’s just a twitter post, tsumi, it isn’t about anyone.” you vow, adding substance to your argument as you proceed to take his hand into your own. you rub your thumb against his, looking up to meet his gaze, a small smile curving onto your lips in hopes of assuring him.

although there’s water lining the border of your eyes, and your voice is faltering as you speak, you still think you’re doing a good enough job putting on a convincing act. atsumu doesn’t buy that. he knows better.

you know your attempt to avoid a questionnaire has failed miserably when atsumu sighs, putting his phone into his pocket. he withdraws his hand, then crosses his arms, claiming, “i know that you’re lying to me, yn.”

“i can see through you.” he states, shrugging his shoulders, making it quite clear that your attempts to deny his averment were futile and will be the same, because simply put, you’re a bad liar.

“okay, no, wait.” you shake your head, breathing out from your mouth as you collect your thoughts and words, quoting, “one, i’m not lying.”

“two, do i have a tell or something like that when i lie?” you ask out of curiosity, and atsumu rolls his eyes because your question only serves to confirm his allegations. he sighs, putting his hands against the bar of the trolley, ready to slide it out of the section.

he takes your arm into his own, leading you ahead, walking to the end of the aisle full of kitchen supplies. he puts his hands on your shoulders, kneeling down a little to match your height, informing you, “you have quite a few tells, yn.”

“oh. i do?” you ask, chuffing, and atsumu nods. you bury your head into his shoulders, cheeks red in embarrassment, thoughts a mess following the interaction.

“you look nervous when you lie and it’s obvious.” he tells you, taking your head off his shoulder and flicks your forehead. you flinch, proceeding to do the same to him, but he stops you midway, grabbing hold of your hand as he pushes you against the shelf, leaning closer to you, “your cheeks and ears turn red too.” he tells you another thing as he lets go of your hand, widening the space between the two of you.

you take a deep breath, putting your hand against your chest when you feel your heartbeat shooting through the roof. you look around to see sign of no one around, squatting down in anxiety. atsumu grabs a bunch of tissue rolls and tosses them into the trolley he walked a few steps behind to take a hold of again.

“you also tend to avoid eye contact.” he turns around to catch you squatting against the same shelf he pushed you against, nervous face and sweaty palms grabbing onto the fabric of your hoodie, and head on your knees.

you haven’t moved a single inch since, your vulnerability shocking your own self, because you didn’t think atsumu of all people would’ve been able to read you so easily, and now that you know he was able to, you’re just embarrassed. feelings weren’t supposed to be involved, and those words of the pact were your own contribution. so this interaction you’re having with your “boyfriend” is certainly not the one you were ever supposed to in the first place.

damn you and your twitter access.

“did i do all of that now?” you ask, head still bent, rubbing your forehead, eyes stuck to the marble flooring of the store, while you’re still leaning against the same shelf, stoved with a ton of embarrassment.

atsumu walks up to you, dragging the trolley along. he takes your hand and pulls you to your feet, and starts walking ahead, saying, “we’re done in this area.” he drags you along.

“i think we got everything we needed.” he mentions, scanning all the products the two of you have put into the trolley so far, making sure nothing on the shopping list is missing.

he agrees with you, making you stop in your tracks, professing, “and yes, you did do all of that right now, so.”

you squat down in utter disappointment towards yourself, hands on the forehead, bellowing, as you feel atsumu lifting you up to your height again, “what the fuck is wrong with me?”

“nothing’s wrong, yn.” he tells you, moving a strand of your hair behind your ear as he leans closer to you, closing the distance, pressing his forehead against yours, asking you, “so we can confirm that you were lying?”

“i guess i was.” you mumble in an undertone, agreeing with him, and atsumu hums before he walks off to add something else to the trolley that he spotted on the shelf behind you.

“i thought love wasn’t going to be involved.” he points out, recalling your own words from weeks ago before you started this entire ordeal with atsumu. this makes you furthermore embarrassed, because you were so overconfident about it, that you overlooked your own weaknesses.

he tosses the set of coasters into the trolley from a distance, and you’re sure it’s bound to fall to the ground and break, but his apt aim proves you wrong and it lands right over the plastic packaging of the tissue rolls.

“you made it clear yourself.” he restates your own contributions, pointing a finger at you, as he walks closer, stressing on his speech, poking his finger against your head, “remember?” atsumu puts his arm over your shoulder, shaking your body, reminding you once again, “you said it yourself, yn, and now you’re deflecting.”

“i’m kind of disappointed.” he squawks at you, teasing, and you roll your eyes at him, pushing his arm aside as you claim ownership of the trolley and walk away from him, voice growing fainter by the second, “and love isn’t involved.”

“i’m only agreeing with you because you’re not ready to believe me when i say the post wasn’t about you.” you make another attempt to defend yourself, walking out of the section, and atsumu follows you, footsteps prominent as he calls out, “wait up, babe.”

you stop and turn around, sighing, “hurry up, tsumi.”

“we’re getting late.” you say as you look at the wristwatch to notice that you’re ten minutes away from the closing time but four sections off your shopping list.

“we can always come back later.” atsumu tells you, dabbing the wristwatch out of your field of vision as he pushes you aside to grab the trolley himself.

he puts one of his hand against your waist, pulling you ahead, gesturing, “let’s go now.”

“yeah.” you nod as you follow his lead to the billing counter.

“whatever you say, yn, you cannot convince me.” atsumu murmurs, hands occupied with shopping bags, “i know you’re lying.” he resumes the conversation you were hoping he would leave behind in the store itself.

“is there any way i can convince you that i’m not?” you sigh at him, crossing your arms, looking up in anticipation of a solution.

“no.” he declines in response, and you grunt, reciting a childish wailing voice that forces atsumu to drop the shopping bags and press the palm of his hand against your lips.

“shut up.” he orders, complaining, “you’re making weird noises.”

“people might hear you.” he warns, taking his hand off and you scrunch your face, pouting your lips, muttering, “yea, whatever.”

a moment of silence occupied by the two of you feeding your shopping bags onto the backseat of his suv, then your desperation gets best of you, and you end up confessing, “okay, i accept that i’m lying.”

“so what if i’m in love with you?” you raise your voice as you sigh, and atsumu can only sigh at your confession and your query because he can only feel pity towards you.

“is that a bad thing now?” you question him further and he nods, giving himself the benefit of doubt, but really, he knows that it’s no good.

“you know this will only end up hurting you. feelings or whatever you have for me.” atsumu testifies against himself in your favour, knowing himself all too well. but you still want to believe that he’s a good guy despite the thousand warnings you’ve been given by various people, even atsumu himself.

you disapprove, “i don’t think so.”

“you know what they say about me. i’m on streak to break hearts.” he reminds you of all the tabloids you’ve scanned through so far, none of which had anything pleasing to say about his love life. but you’re stubborn. you’re adamant. you’re in love. you trust him far too much.

“well, i’ve chosen not to believe in those articles.” you shrug, closing the door to the backseat of his car. “i want to believe that you’re a good guy.”

“it makes loving you easier.” you tell him, opening the door to the passenger seat. he holds it for you as you get inside.

before atsumu can take a seat, he looks up to the sky, wondering how you managed to stray off your pact in just a month. he trusted you and thought you wouldn’t end up falling for him. after all, you were in it to simply vex sakusa kiyoomi (a goal that was hardly achieved), and he wanted to have fun with you because you seemed like you would actually come out unscathed out of this relationship, and it would be the first one he wouldn’t be pronounced as the bad guy in. but perhaps he trusted you far too much, because clearly, you’ve messed it up for yourself already. and as much as atsumu doesn’t want to accept it, he knows it’s not his own reputation he’s worried about. it’s his concern regarding yours that puts him in a difficult situation.

being in the spotlight for years has made it clear to him that the media doesn’t prefer to treat anyone it has its eyes on with respect. whether you’re the wrong or the wronged, it only shames you for the clout. when it comes to dating scandals, it’s harsh for the one who hurt the other as well as the one who’s hurting. so he knows if he breaks your heart the way he has broken multiple hearts before, you’ll be dragged through the mud as well. not just him, and at the end of the day, you’re just common folk. you won’t be able to take it.

his previous flings were all famous people who knew the downside of being with him and being the center of attention while they were with him. you, however, are underestimating how low tabloids can stoop when they want to put that tea out there for the general public to gawk at and gossip about, and he regrets taking a chance with you. you’re good in bed and you’re good to him, but you’re also too naive for your own good. all that pleasure will never make up for all the guilt he’ll feel if things go south with you, and he hates to agree with himself, but they’re most likely to.

atsumu opens the door to take position in the driver’s seat next to you. he puts on his seat belt, keys the car, and the engine revs. before you can speak up, he puts his hand in the air, requesting, “not now, can we do this at your place?”

“please.”

“okay.” you agree, and he puts on some music before driving his car back to your place.

“if you choose not to believe what they say about me, you’ll only be inviting heartbreak for yourself.” atsumu remarks, handing you the set of spoons from the shopping bag.

you cut off the packaging and separate the spoons, placing them in the desired cabinet, suggesting, also concomitantly questioning him, “if i asked you not to break my heart, would you do it for me?”

atsumu is aware this conversation is pointless. if he tells you he can do that, he would be lying. the truth is, he wants to put in some effort and preserve your heart. the truth is, he doesn’t intend to hurt you at all. but he knows the kind of guy he is. before he knows it, he’ll be chasing after another trail, getting in somebody else’s pants. while the media is only out there looking for attention and clout, they also aren’t wrong when they report his notorious acts, because atsumu can attest for their credibility. he knows it’s all true.

“i can try.” he claims, and although he knows it’s more or less a lie, if it’s going to assure you, he might as well not mind telling one.

he passes the tissue rolls to you, warning, “but i know i’ll fail.”

“can you try harder ‘for me’ then?” you raise your brow, stressing on the mention of yourself, demanding his gaze to meet yours.

atsumu looks up from the shopping bags to find your looking at him with wishful eyes, and he decides to tell you another lie. maybe not a lie, but it isn’t the truth either. good that he manages to cover it up with a supporting sentence, “i can, but i don’t know if it will work out for us.”

“you know i’m notorious like that.” he pouts his lips and you nod in agreement.

you know atsumu miya isn’t the one to be trusted. you know that the media is right. whether you want to believe them or not, they’re right. you know that. you’ve been warned before. but despite all that, you think you can rely on atsumu because maybe, just maybe, he has a soft spot for you. and if he still breaks your heart, you hope he does it low key.

you were never in this for love after all. it was always about making sakusa kiyoomi jealous. you don’t know if you ever achieved that goal with all those posts you made. if sakusa even looked in your direction and felt jealousy tarnishing the surface and sub surface of his skin. you aren’t sure and you’ll never be, because you don’t think you’ll ever have the emotional strength to ask him about it or to observe him enough to know. with the massive grudge you’re sticking to, sakusa can hardly be classified as your client. to know him on a personal level again won’t be something you’ll walk after. what you do know is that you ended up falling for someone who’s bound to break your heart into pieces, and all those pieces will have to be picked up by you and your best friends.

“if you try, it won’t hurt me when you break my heart.” you say, shrugging at him, turning away to store the tissue rolls in the upper cabinet. atsumu notices you struggling to reach it, and before you can grab the stool to do so, he jumps up to his feet and does the job for you.

“thanks.” you mumble, and he hums, kissing you on the cheek before he returns to the shopping bags the two of you are busy clearing out at one in the morning.

“let you down slowly?” he expresses his doubt, unsure what you meant by that and you hum in agreement with him, testifying that is exactly what you told him a minute ago.

you take your steps towards him and sit right next to him, legs folded and hands cupping your chin. you tilt your head to look at him, requesting of him, “don’t cheat on me or something like that.”

“even if i end up with a broken heart, i want the world to think it was because we called this off mutually.” you recite your wish, and atsumu nods. he understands where you’re coming from. perhaps you aren’t as naive as he thought because your concern is exactly what his own is. except that you have chosen to trust him through the process and he doesn’t want you to place within him.

“okay, i can do that for you.” atsumu affirms, and he feels you leaving a soft peck on his cheek before you return to the cabinets. he smiles at you, a rather small one just enough to life the end of his lips by a millimeter or two.

“i love the attention i’m getting but i don’t want to get it for the wrong reason either.” you express.

“i know it can be bad sometimes.” you purse your lips, brushing the dust off the new pair of coffee mugs using a damp kitchen cloth.

“i can do that much for you, yn.” atsumu repeats and reassures you. you feel the fabric of his hoodie brush against your own. you turn to the side to find him standing right next to you, easing your workload as he picks up another pair of utensils and begins to wipe those.

“we’ve cleared all the shopping bags.” he tells you and you nod, gesturing that you caught the message coming from his end.

“i’m sorry.” you tell him, tip toeing to reach the upper cabinet.

atsumu aids you, dropping the kitchen cloth to support your waist while you put the mugs in their place, asking, “for what?”

“my feelings.” you get back on your soles, turning your neck backwards towards him.

“you don’t have to apologise for your feelings, yn.” he reasons with you, turning you around so that you would face him properly.

“i know i said no feelings but i ended up messing in the end.” you sigh, stepping in closer to hug him.

“yn, if anything, i should be the one apologising.” he claims, putting his arms around you, mentioning in your ears, “after all it’s me who doesn’t have any feelings for you.”

he doesn’t mean for it to scathe you. his intention is to speak the truth, but he says it so nonchalantly that you feel your heart flinching and scrunching inside it’s cage. it hurts, and if this does so much, the heartbreak he’ll reward you is bound to maim much worse. so you wonder why you’re standing in his embrace with your head buried in his neck, forehead feeling the edge of his clavicle. so you wonder why you’re choosing to stay with him instead of leaving him right now while you still have to chance to. so you wonder why you’re so stubborn to turn a blind eye to all those warnings given to you by your closest friends. the answer is simple. you’re in love.

“so why don’t you end this right now?” atsumu asks you, voice as faint as a whisper, a little nervous even, “while you still have a chance to. just let me go.”

you wonder if he doesn’t want to let go either. whether he has feelings or not, you wonder if you mean anything more to him than just another woman he introduced to his bed. you wonder if you’re something more substantial than just another stench of cheap perfume his sheets will remember for years. you wonder if you mean something much more than just another lady who left a spare toothbrush in his bathroom for the morning after.

“because i’m having fun.” you offer your reason, and as stupid as it sounds, it’s valid to you.

atsumu hugs you tighter, practically begging of you when he feels the burden of guilt weighing his spine down furthermore, with each passing second and every addition to this conversation, “whatever you say to me, please don’t say ‘i love you’. i don’t want you to.”

“i won’t.” you reassure him.

you unseal yourself from his embrace, placing your palm against his cheeks, saying, “i don’t want you to regret me.”

“i don’t want to regret you either.” he asserts, leaning in for a kiss. you push the utensils aside using your hands, a loud thud when a steel spatula hits the ground, and atsumu lifts you up to place you on the ceramic countertop.

“so don’t regret me, have fun.” you pant, vouching for air when atsumu goes in for another kiss, humming in the process, agreeing with your words.

he slides the hoodie off you with ease, tossing it to the ground, revealing your pink brasier. you struggle to get yourself off the kitchen counter, definitely not wanting to ruin your cooking area with your activities. but he makes it easy for you as well, lifting you off it, and he takes you to the living room, dropping you on the couch.

atsumu kisses you again, speaking in an undertone and with a muffled voice, “i hope i won’t regret you.”

“because i really don’t want to.” he looks you in the eye, taking a deep breath in before he leans to kiss you again. he feels your hands looking for the zip to his pants in order to take them off.

“yn, i think i want to just make out today.” he gabbles while his lips are still pressed against your own and you nod lightly in response, repositioning your hands to get the hoodie off him.

“mhm.” you murmur as you throw the hoodie to the ground, pulling him in closer, but the two of you end up tumbling down and land on the carpet. you can’t help but laugh at the accident, and he joins in too, before shifts to kiss you against the lips again.

“let’s not regret each other.” you nod as you lift his face off your own, pressing your hand against his cheek before you notice him desperately closing the space between the two of you.

“okay?” you ask him, gulping your saliva as you take his face off yours again, hands cupping his chin quite tightly this time around to restrain him.

“okay.” atsumu agrees and you let go, gripping his back instead, and he hunches forward and closer to kiss your neck this time around, taxing you to moan when the touch of his lips leaves a trail of tickling sensation behind in the folds of you skin.

↬ PART 31 : “married couple things”

↬ MASTERLIST

#previous • #next

↬ A/N : they’re like rabbits, always making out and all that. it’s so funny to me for no reason at all. as the person who writes them, they’re just comedic to me. i guess the love language here is physical touch. please spare me if there are any errors in the text. i did not have the time to edit it. i’ll do it some other day. i just wanted to publish the next part, so i ended up writing this during my break in a hurry.

✦ taglist (open) : @wolffmaiden @k444zuha @kurooloveschurroo @duchess-l @tobiot4life @thoskyrn @kittycasie @yachisupremacy @ladle-things @suhaaaefre @saaraunicorn @midnight-drives-with-sunarin @mitsuki-simp @karasunoya @hangecanweholdhands @kiyoomimybeloved @scrawled-in-ink @ixej @softtashoney @sukunasrealgf @erintaro @rntrsuna @rukia-uchiha-98 @hypernovaxx @whore-for-eddie @katsuwhore @yeletbz @hxked @lucario119

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thehumanexperience8b · 2 months ago

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September 29th, 2024: Donation Day

Today is the last few hours of the 29th. Since February 29th (my lovely deceased betta fishes’ birthday) of 2024, I donated money to causes I found important every month. I worked hard to make sure I could keep up with it; last month I lost my bank card.. And I was so heartbroken because I didn’t have enough time to find it and make my donation in time. It felt so bad because I felt like everyone in the world was disappointed in me.. That no one could rely on me to be committed and I would never make any difference. I also felt so awful because it was like my fish, Tsumi, was looking down on me in disappointment because I had forsaken her name. I cried so much I woke my brother up and he told me that I can just wait until tomorrow and do the donation, and that it doesn’t matter what day I do it because they’ll still get the money and be grateful for it. I started to realize that maybe the donations were more personal that I realized. I felt more that it was about how I felt about myself, my character, proving to myself and others that I am caring and I do matter; because “look everyone, I am so virtuous, I give my hard earned money to people in need every month.” And “everyone” included myself, too. I think my consciousness understood this before I did, but I couldn’t process it, I felt like it was just an excuse to give up. But I think actually, my donations might be more valuable if I just wait a little while.

This month alone I spent more than $600 for two concerts I plan on going to, and they’re really important to me. I’m going to see The Orion Experience this week on Thursday, my favorite band which I love so much and had the opportunity to work for. Then in 2025, Weird Al is coming to Foxwoods resort, an hour or so away from me. I couldn’t believe it, I am so in love with him. I bought tickets an hour after I found out… and they were QUITE expensive. So I’m kinda in the pit, I’m also unemployed so all of this was coming out of my savings. I’m ranting again! My point is… I realized I will have more money to give if I wait so I can earn some money, and see how much money I have left over after my NYC trip. So I have officially decided to resign the 29th Donation Day and instead keep it as a reminder to be thankful and give when someone is in need. I still try and do donations once every month, but sometimes life doesn’t turn out that convenient. Also just wanted to mention a sweet thing, I donated to Upstream a few months ago and they sent me a thank you letter with stickers inside! How cute. So this is what this post is about.. It doesn’t even really matter to you because you didn’t know about Donation Day at all to begin with, but I just wanted to share my revelation about self reflection and awareness. Have a great day!!!!

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mikami03iscancelled · 7 years ago

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Callout Post for renai-tsumi/ai-to-tsumi/mikami03/nekomi03

I’m sure everyone who RP’s in the Persona 4 community (ESPECIALLY people who RP Yosuke Hanamura) has seen this person around, and not for necessarily for good reasons, so I’m going to get straight to the point.

This is a callout post for Han, also known as @inabas-prince, ai-to-tsumi, @renai-tsumi, mikami03, and nekomi03.

Update: Han has changed her URL to our-twisted-love.

Update: Han has since moved blogs, so her current URL is unknown. That said, this post will remain up, for those who wish to know what Han has done and why this blog exists.

I don’t like to do callout posts. I really, honestly don’t, since most are designed with a witch hunt in mind. However, this situation with Han has been going on for MONTHS, and clearly, nothing has changed. She hasn’t learned from her mistakes, and even though we did our best to keep the situation as controlled and as private as possible, she has bullied, harassed, and stalked people, MONTHS after they have stated that they want nothing to do with her.

Now, without further ado, let’s get started.

Before I begin, I would like to direct everyone to Mikami’s first callout, since it will provide context to the situation. Here is the tl;dr version:

Han is infamous in the Persona 4 fandom for harassing people, ESPECIALLY those who RP the character Yosuke Hanamura. She is also very infamous for trying to coerce them into ships, pressure them into NSFW roleplays, and will continue to try and contact them even when they have expressed NO interest in doing so. Unfortunately, one Yosuke in the fandom, under the URL kunaiflourish, has received the brunt of her harassment, as shown in the callout post before.

Han showed VERY obsessive behavior that became uncomfortable and flat-out creepy. She practically forced herself on kunaiflourish, and when they FINALLY blocked her, she wasn’t having it. I won’t provide screenshots here, since the callout speaks for itself. She began to send messages to kunaiflourish even MONTHS after they had blocked her, begging them to unblock her, and even wrote walls of text blaming kunaiflourish, saying that if they told her no and “communicated” with her, this never would have happened.

So right off the bat, we have: stalking, victim blaming, and harassment (both sexual and nonsexual) under her belt. She’s also not above trying to get other people involved, since, like in the callout, she tried to contact kunaiflourish’s friends and get answers from them. Talk about obsessive.

Now, I know what you all are thinking. “This happened months ago, why are you bringing all of this up now, months after the situation has seemingly resolved itself?”

There’s a very simple answer to that: Because it hasn’t resolved itself. In fact, it’s worse than ever, because Han has managed to somehow show EVEN CREEPIER behavior than she did before.

This all started when she joined a Persona RP Discord that is run by heartofthemagician (Han has long since been banned from the Discord, in case anyone was wondering) as Nanako Dojima. A few people, including myself and other mods, were already well aware of her reputation, however, we came to a decision to let her stay. Call us naive, but we like to give everyone a fair chance, and didn’t want to ban her from the server right off the bat without reason. She hadn’t done anything to anyone in the server at the time, so we reluctantly let her stay.

Big mistake.

First of all, I am unsure if anyone is aware, but Han has been known to RP incest. Unfortunately, she has long since deleted said RPs (either that, or has made them difficult to find. If anyone can provide this evidence, the submission box is open), however, she DID admit to RPing this content when she was confronted by a server member about it. Instead of trying to deny it, she admitted that she tagged it and asked “Why can’t you blacklist the tag?”

While this in itself is not necessarily bad (I, personally, do not condone incest, but I understand that fiction =/= reality), it is pretty obvious from her reputation alone that she does not understand the boundary between fiction and reality. This was shown the entire time she was in the server: Every chance she got, she was creepily affectionate with our Yu Narukami.

Now, these interactions seem mostly innocent, but they happened VERY frequently. People were already uncomfortable by Han always derailed conversations in the server, talked over people in voice chat, and tried to make everything about her. She was incredibly self centered, and tried to turn every IC interaction towards Nanako.

On top of that, given her history with incest, it only further made the Yu uncomfortable. Han has been known to try and force ships, and seems to have a strange fascination with imouto-type characters. Take this information as you will.

Things went downhill when the Akechi finally confronted her about her behavior, and told her to tone it down a notch. She left for a few days, and when she came back, naturally, the Akechi (who also happens to be my boyfriend) decided to ask if she had reflected on her actions.

This is where the meat of everything begins. Unfortunately, because of Tumblr’s tendency to fuck up images, it would be tedious to upload every single screenshot at once, so I have taken the liberty of placing the conversation into a drop box link, which can be found here. For context, the conversation between “aruru” and “Godess Bestow” is the conversation. The first three caps in the folder take place after the conversation between them. Also, just to be safe, this link does contain mentions of suicide and self harm.

Another tl;dr version:

Han admitted to stalking kunaiflourish and continuing to send them memes and messages on anonymous even 5 months after they had blocked her.

Han admitted that she still plans on getting in touch with kunaiflourish and MAKING them write with her.

Han claims that she is not stalking because “no personal information was involved”.

Han refuses to admit that she is in the wrong, and still blames kunaiflourish, stating that kunai NEVER gave an explanation for why they blocked her.

Han tried to force Aruru into talking to kunaiflourish and other RPers to get them to unblock her.

Han sent anonymous messages to Aruru asking why he blocked her, even though he gave his reasons for blocking her and told her to leave him alone.

Han threatened to commit suicide to me after she tried to get answers from ME after Aruru blocked her. As you can see, it didn’t go over well.

After all of this, you would think that Han would have taken the hint and left Aruru alone, even after he blocked her on Tumblr. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case at all, and in fact, Aruru had to turn off anonymous after he received this lovely message from Han:

And I’m not the only person who you sent this shit to, either.

Nice job lying about trying to kill yourself and guilt tripping someone who was fucking uninvolved with the situation.

I believe this is all that needs to be said about the situation, and all of these screenshots speak for themselves.

Han, if you’re reading this (though I doubt you will. You won’t listen to anyone unless it’s to sugarcoat you and coddle you, right?):

kunaiflourish DID give you your answer for why they won’t write with you and has EXPLICITLY told you to leave them alone. Aruru has also told you to leave him alone, and yet you continue to message them.

Did you know that you can go to JAIL for this? This is enough evidence to have LEGAL CHARGES pressed against you for STALKING. Here is an entire site about it if you don’t believe me.

You can have a CRIMINAL RECORD, all because you can’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Is that what you want on your hands? A record that could PERMANENTLY ruin your chances at good education and getting a decent job (though, since you’re supposedly 20 years old and still in high school, you did a fine job of doing that on your own), all over ROLE PLAY. All over playing make believe on a blogging website.

Please, for the love of all that is holy, STOP doing this shit. You are not only hurting yourself, but you’re hurting people and only further sullying your reputation. You are making people fear for their wellbeing and actively and KNOWINGLY making people hurt themselves for your own selfish gains. If you are truly as suicidal as you say... Although, I have my doubts, since you’re posting on your blog like everything is all right barely 24 hours after you just threatened suicide,

then please, for the love of god, get some professional help, because you desperately need it. You are going to destroy people’s lives if you keep doing what you do.

REFLECT ON YOUR ACTIONS, AND LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES BEFORE YOU DESTROY YOURSELF.

#mikami03 #nekomi03 #ai to tsumi #renai tsumi #callout #persona 4

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honmakurara · 7 years ago

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About JAM Tour (Nagoya/Tokyo venues) ~ All is Well * Nostalgia

I was there thanks to my a.w.e.s.o.m.e. eighter friends I'll always always always always always always always feel indebted to♥ Yeah I can't help it. It was my first time ever, a longtime dream already, so if you’re interested, this is an attempt to try and write down a few (?) notes about the Con, even though my feels are still completely messed up even when time has already passed, I'm sorry XD

[long post ahead, you're warned]

About the stage: The inner layout of each dome has been modeled to form the shape of a strawberry! My seat was upper high but quite central so I noticed. The cart path also followed a few waves and curves that didn't make sense at all (to me) until I saw it was due to the "strawberry shape" LOL. The special effects (fire during Noroshi and fake fireworks during Junjou Koi Hanabi) were impressive, but the lights were even better... I don't know, I was dazzled and astonished most of the times. During one song (can't remember which one) of the band session there were these violet/blueish rays opening up like a fan from various angles that looked absolutely amazing. I was hooked while listening to the boys playing♥ And the waves of the penlights moving like one all around the domes, really make people feel like one with Eito and their instruments or inciting. It's so beautiful to see. To be one of those little sparkling dots.

About the album: At first I thought the new album songs were 'weak' despite the big names behind the lyrics and arrangements. It didn't feel 'K8-like' at all, apart from maybe the silly rap in Egetsunai. But when I got to see Eito sing and play them all, it felt exactly like Takahashi Yuu once said, about "becoming eito flavoured songs, no matter what." Well it's true, and in the end I got the impression this live tour is pretty strong instead (at least to me). About the band: The last thing I expected (yet the one I craved most in my dreams) was Eito playing band songs for ONE HOUR or so. I mean... ONE HOUR... almost half a concert. 11 awesome songs. Given that both Tokyoholic, Zou and Uchuu ni itta Raion had been recently performed (at tour and Metrock), I could not hope for them to be in the setlist again. But luckily they were, instead, and I was so happy çOç 01. High spirits: awwwwwwwww, how to better start a Con?? I'm fond of both this and Your Wurlitzer. And last year they performed Your Wurlitzer (somehow re-arranged) at the Recital♥ 02. Katte ni shiyagare: singing (er, shouting?) this one together with Eito is simply priceless. 03. Uchuu ni itta Lion: the one performed in the Jukebox Tour is one of the live performances I periodically feel the need to re-watch, one of my faves ever. And now... I could see it live for real♥ This songs keeps being so.damn.great. and eito keep playing it awesomely. 04. Zou: my poor feels registered the vision of a (blonde) Tacchon drumming with all his might the intro of this song. I might have died right then, but luckily I love every little bit of this song and I can clearly remember Subaru and Yasu's parts (I love them♥) Yoko's lines, Tacchon's bridge and the power this songs brings with itself. It's so strong, so powerful and beautiful OMG. 05. Traffic: God bless Nishikido Ryo always. This left me agape and speechless from amazement the first time I listened to the mp3, but somehow I couldn't make it resound naturally in my head. But it's sooooooo good, so damn good, and once you hear it live, you're hooked, like, forever. Aww Ryochan's voice ♥ (and the short lines with TORN voices) 06. Ikiro: At first, at home I couldn't catch up with Ikiro, Jam Lady nor Traffic. But they're honestly and simply powerful when performed live on stage. Ikiro is strikingly awesome. We could say that most eighters could not sing (or remember by heart) the lyrics of the new songs, given that the album was out only a month and a half ago. But during Ikiro, things were different, we were all singing it heartedly. Aw. And one day, you suddenly realize you're humming Ikiro while walking on your own and you don't know how that happened XD 07. Samurai Song: I cried watching this in the Genki Tour, when Ohkura was not there but the boys sang it so beautifully, and quite teary themselves. I loved the drama, the PV and everything, I simply love this song. I don't know why Ryo chose to fumble with this song exactly (maybe he's particularly fond with is also♥), but he's the cuteness brought on Planet Earth. I loved seeing him so shy yet he looked almost relaxed, at ease with himself, with where he was, surrounded by eito and eighters, and my heart basically melted/exploded I wanted to hug him so tight and tell him he's going to be fine always, if only I could. It did not help that Tacchon decided to put his 'yasashii no kimochi' (gentle feels) basically everytime he closed up the Samurai melody with his drums. So cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute. Darn. In Tokyo, Ryo started playing itta janaika instead of Samurai Song XD And all eighters followed him for the whole intro, before he resumed the samurai uta XD I heard that the following day he played BJ (OMG♥) and Tacchon only followed him with his drums, waahhhhhhh♥ 08. Yume e no kaerimichi: In Nagoya, Ryo messed up even Yume e no kaerimichi TWICE after fumbling with the Samurai Song... we thought the concert would have never ended that night if they kept going on like that XD Subaru was at a loss because other eito followed Ryo's randomness during kaerimichi and they sang each line hardly repressing a laugh or some joke. When Subaru sang his own line, he had to put an arm over his eyes in order not to see the mess around him, for what was supposed to be a romantic ballad became a funny and cute song instead. At the third attempt, they managed to go past the first lines XD 09. Tokyoholic. Aw. This. THIS. I love you Ryochan. I LOVE YOU!! And, well, this year also the weather in Tokyo proved to be quite nasty with me, but it's just like Ryochan said: I can't hate you Tokyo. And that's all. 10. S.E.V.E.N. korobi E.I.G.H.T. oki: just like Katte ni Shiyagare, this is perfect and priceless to share with eighters and eito. The Yokohina screaming at each other from different side screens were worth the song alone XD 11. NOROSHI: The Tokyo Dome was so much on fire during this and Tokyoholic that my eyes started sparkling out of nowhere!

12. Kiseki no hito: I'm not fond of this song, yet it's cute watching eito "cuddle" their Ryochan on this. And yes, it's another one you'll find yourself humming repeatedly without even knowing why. 13. JAM LADY. Er. THIS. This. Remember I said I couldn't grasp this song? Well... that was before I saw what they DID during this song. So there are our boys appearing on stage from above, I mean, meters high on the main stage and coming down slowly while thick (yeah: thick) fountains of waters sprung up before them. They were wearing shiny outfits and rocking hips and someone should tell Tacchon he should not touch his groin like he did and like we were all shown thanks to the giants side screen. I mean. My poor feels and eyes çOç Basically the performance of this song is even more audacious than one can perceive from the lyrics alone. So let's say Jam Lady is basically Eito porn. 14. Tsumi to natsu: say AMORE! AMORE! Eito moved from the main stage to the central stage under a cascade of water tunnel springs! 15. DO NA I: Awww I loved this!! I cannot remember exactly the dance but it was lovely and sexy to see and the song is powerful♥ the stage was in the meantime lifted up and shifted towards the second stage (the one opposite the main one, the "tip" of the strawberry we could say) 16. King of otoko! Tacchon once tumbled down during this, and so did Hina the following day XD After the first part, eito moved around the paths and Subaru and Ryo nearly kissed (or smacked their heads if you prefer XD) during their joined hands part XD 17. Nagurigaki BEAT: During one of the MC in Nagoya, eito asked Yasu why he wore his shoes loose without shoelaces. He said it was more confy (he also had unpaired socks if I remember well), easier to remove. Well right then, during this song, while walking he lost a shoe, it simply didn't follow his foot lifted up from the floor... we saw the shoe standing perfectly on the floor without his owner, that was silly XD I noticed that in Tokyo, all eito wore purple outfits during this part, while up until Nagoya there were 4 (or 3?) guys wearing orange suits and the other wearing purple suits. Also, apparently there were cameras filming this dance part only. Maybe they recorded them all for some multi-angle or multi-venue footage? Dunno really. About the Juniors: half of the papapics taken from the Eito Jam Tour were about them, I swear XD (eito are becoming too ossans for their fans ahahahahahha) 18. Answer: beautiful. The Sanbaka danced on the main stage only, but the visual effects were captivating and the song was a pleasure to hear (and nor Yoko nor Hina made mistakes as far as I remember). 19. Nostalgia. THIS. I could write an essay on this one only, ugh. My poor feels. I loved this at first listening, but the live dance was something strikingly beautiful and unforgettable. Just like I wrote HERE, the dance of the 4nin from the 4 angles of the stages is elegant and flawless, and Tacchon's smooth velvet voice is impressive here. He started out the song at least twice with his green hood over his blond hair (ugh♥) and I had the sheer luck to see him perform his part quite nice when my stand seat faced right the stage where he was (well not exactly near but not far either). So beautiful. So perfect. Then the boys joined on the central stage to dance together until the very end. When you'll get instant Nostalgia. I swear. 20. Sorry Sorry Love: with the very same green outfit, all eito perform this, and I'd have never said that one day we would have seen Sorry Sorry Love and Wasabi one beside the other *___* 21. WASABI 22. egetsunai. THIS XD Probably my only fave song prior to coming to the Cons, it proved to be the craziest, silliest and funniest song ever. The dance is stupid and SILLY, and the rap challenge duets are AWESOME and brilliant. I think Eito changed the lyrics almost everytime LOL. Tacchon VS Yasu were my favourites, but Subaru and Yoko were also way too funny to see and poor Maru scared by Ryo is unforgettable XDIn the meanwhile, the other eito member cheered for the duets going on XD 23. Never Say Never: this began with a VTR where eito (wearing suits) had to throw themselves on a fluffy straight slide. Behind a paper wall (or something like that), one of them would have been thrown into a pool of slimy something concrete-coloured like (sorry, if they explained what it was, I didn't get it). As far as I could see, Maru was targeted the most, but I also saw Tacchon fall into the trap XD 24. Nantoka naru sa: Eito appeared wearing red, blue and white clothes. This song is so energetic! Tacchon once came back from backstage with his (short) hair tied up and eighters screamed aloud :p 25. Maemuki Scream! it was so funny mimicking eito's dance with the penlights *O* 26. Ima: I didn't like this song at all, at first. I particularly disliked the dance and the PV part in which they're in the city. But then... I don't know, something changed. I watched the PV, and the natural setting with the volkswagen thing (similar to Uppers') is simply fantastic, so eito-like *__* I think the live dance is slightly different from the one we got to see at Music Station, but it's nice to see. Very very energetic! Also, things to remember: Tacchon's lines (always cut when on TV), Ryo's bridge and Subaru's part. I love it. [ ENCORE ] 27. Junjou koi hanabi: how can I describe what this song means to me... I fell in love at first listening (I love Omoidama as a single), then I cried helplessly watching Jussai, so perfect and so beautiful with the yukatas and fireworks and everything. How can I say how I felt this time when eito came from backstage wearing gorgeous yukatas çOç??? In Nagoya Ryo only made the 'muscle pose', while in Tokyo basically all members started doing 'otokorashii' poses by raising their yukata sleeve over their faces or so. I can remember Hina being the first and probably the coolest, but I had a hard time not screaming at Ryo and Tacchon OMG. The song itself is perfection. I LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT UTTERLY. And it's pure perfection and I'm happy I could cry over this once again. Live. And Eito wearing yukatas is the sexiest thing ever. Ever. 28. Panorama: do I have to mention TORN posing? Don't ask me who the other pair/trio were because I had eyes only for my OTP and couldn't look elsewhere, I'm sorry XD 29. Zukkoke otokomichi: eito going around on two carts! Another song it's so nice to "perform" following Yoko's inciting ♥ I kinda, er, screamed when TORN suddenly went near one another during this, but I was too far and too high to see them properly çOç 30. Seishun no subete. Just like Ima, I didn't like this song at first, but seen live... it's totally different. It made me go emotional to the verge of tears, I had a lump in my throat and it was so beautiful. A perfect way to finish a wonderful concert. About Eito members: I feel so proud of them. I have no past experiences as for what live Cons are concerned so I cannot make comparisons, but I liked very much how eito and the people from the staff organised this tour, the setlist with the impressive band session and the other half of the concert with eito swtiching to their usual weirdo/idol mode.I would have never thought eito would have had enough energy to make it all till the very end, but they did, and in the end, they didn't even seem too fatigued or strained (to me, maybe I'm wrong, I don't know).They all looked happy and proud. The best thing ever. They made me laugh and cry and shout so loud and... well, cry and feel proud again. I feel like I got to fall in love with each of them once more, which is terribly bad of me. One day while I was on the Shinkansen I saw a scarecrow and thought at Ryo's scarecrow solo and how much he grew, musically and lyricist speaking, ever since. And then...Traffic. I mean çOç (I generally love all of Ryo's solos so I'm not saying Scarecrow is poor XD) And the thanked all the people who came to the con despite the heavy rain hitting Tokyo. I mean. I love him. Yasu looked like a freak with afro hair, tattoes and glasses, and apparently loved showing his middle finger around! but I love him anyway XD We saw a male Shingo-fan wearing a T-shirt carrying the mention "MuraKami" written with the kanji for 'kami = GOD'... he won it all!! Shingo complained that only otoko no eighters greeted him lol. But it's true there were A LOT. I don't know whether they're increasing by number as time passes by, but I do hope that eito could gain more male fans after Metrock (there was at least 1 half-ossan who had Metrock t-shirt and eito recital towel XD). While I was coming back in metro after the concert, there were a few young guys wearing school suits beside me who were talking about Nishikido and Ohkura and a few songs of the con, lol. I felt so stupidly proud of eito for reaching so many different kind of fans. Tacchon looked SO cool and SO hot. SO DAMN HOT. And so blonde♥ I love him with blonde hair and didn't expect to see him like this at all ♥He said bye last during one of the Tokyo venues saying aishiteru *diva mode on*, I guess I shouldn't ask for more from the whole world♥I feared for his health (well he gave us reasons, that idiot) but he looked fine and I'm glad he did also look like he (thankfully) gained weight back ever since his stage play, at least judging from his cheeks and arms♥We saw Yasuba "mating" with Yasu assaulting Subaru from behind during Donai (I think) and right after that Tacchon 'imitated' Yasu attacking Yasu as well (I can bet he did it on purpose, the evil bitch).Subaru gave the audience some dirty, sexy looks of his I don't think I'll easily forget.

Maru did an assolo with his bass within the band session that made the whole dome go mute to listen to him. That was freakingly impressive, given that for the rest of the time, he was back to being the Maru that "paaaaannned" with the eighters basically everywhere and we're all glad to him for that♥ There's thick emotion whenever Yoko calls out for the final hands joining. I felt... so grateful to them, to the eighters, to my beloved friends I held hands with. I felt lucky and happy and teary, because I could be there, and I was actually there with all of them. I couldn't ask for more, really.I've been floating for days after that day, I reckon. That's what they do to me and to my poor feels. I'm blessed♥ To all who could read this wall of text till the very end... thanks a lot. It was very personal and biased, I know.Sorry... apparently I got carried away as usual but... my poor feels♥

#jam #live performance #report #kanjani8 #eitolove #eighters #eito #my poor feels #nostalgia

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