#trying to present myself as cute/beautiful are the most transparent. at best they're reciting a social script. at worst theyre trying to | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ajaegerpilot · 7 years ago

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in my first year of uni i had like 0 (zero) friends except for this one guy in my bio class whom i chatted with and made the mistake of giving my number to bc he’d text a lot and i dont like texting ppl except to exchange relevant information like plans or memes and anyway I remembered him (he was like 23 i believe) and like lmao at one point he did ask me out and i read him the ‘friendship is magic’ speech and he backed off. but that last text message was just like... i was Outtie...

#also re: me literally saying i felt like a child because i explicitely wanted to draw attention to our age difference #like i mean... i was a bab and still probably am but i certainly didnt feel or identify as a child per say #but like.. his response i think is kind of redflaggy (as was some other exchanges we had) but like.. that last text...#also im 21 yrs old now and ppl still think im 15 or in highschool so imagine how i mustve been as a college freshkid..#im not saying that that guy wanted to prey TM on me or anything. but thats just the thing. it doesnt really matter.#he was a 23 yr old living on his own and i was a teenager still living with my parents unable to drive myself anywhere with no job #and very socially awkward and stressed and alone @ uni.. 23 year olds should not be interested in ppl who are still in that stage of their #life.. anyway........ I DONT TRUST MEN DOT PNG #with good damn reason!!!!!!#misha speaks #he also called me beautiful and cute at different points which. the way i present myself and have always presented myself around men rTTBH #LMAO I JUST REALIZED. ive never dressed up for a guy ever but i always dress up nicely for even my platonic female friends but like esp for #girls i think are cute but ive never EVER done that for a boy in MY LIFE... anyway my point is... men who try to compliment me when i'm not #trying to present myself as cute/beautiful are the most transparent. at best they're reciting a social script. at worst theyre trying to #manipulate me. i remember when the only guy i went on a date with in hs said i looked beautiful.. i was wearing my glasses... we were in a #movie theatre... it was dark... i almost laughed.. i said no and i think he thought it was from a insecure perspective when. no.#it was from a 'if i wanted to be beautiful for you i'd be beautiful for you'. anyway men as usual should Avert Their Fucking Gaze i love #women and i am a genderless fog that cries when they think of beautiful things and thats all youre getting from me.

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