#trying to exorcise something girl get it out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sad about it but hopefully it's a 24 hr thing

[forestgreenlesbian]

anyway. sick again why does god hate me

[currentlyreadingmanga]

Toilet-bound Hanako-kun: Chapter 10 - The Young Exorcist (Part 2)

Previously: we had a mostly Kou centric episode! We learned more about his family, in particular about his kinda scary brother Teru. Kou made it his mission to find evidence that proves that Hanako is not a bad supernatural, which lead to some very cute bonding moments between the two boys. Kou decided that he wouldn’t exorcise Hanako because he considered him a good guy, but Hanako doesn’t take this change of heart well since he clearly doesn’t think that killing someone can be justified in any way. He goes overboard, though, and threatens Kou with his knife and it’s at that precise moment that Teru arrives and zaps Hanako with his own exorcist weapon and I was left with very high levels of stress

Now onto the next chapter!

Okay I really like this cover page, because it while it can be seen as the two exorcist keeping the aparition at bay, since they��re the ones that can (and have to) do it, you can also see other nice details. There’s also the contrast between both of their expressions while holding Hanako back: how calm and collected Teru looks while Kou looks uncomfortable. And how Kou’s weapon not only is keeping Hanako in check, but is also holding Teru’s sword back so that it doesn’t touch Hanako. 

Anyway, yes, it’s a very good drawing that conveys this arc very well.

Okay so Kou is remember all those times he would sneak out to watch his brother fighting against supernaturals and how cool he looked while doing so. Teru always greeted his brother with a kind smile and Kou had assumed that that was the expression he wore into battle but

Yeah, can’t say I’m surprised, those are the main expressions we have seen on his face when it comes to Hanako and apparitions. Still, Kou’s face is honestly heartbreaking, he must feel so helpless

I feel like I need to reiterate: his calm smile in moments like this kinda scares me, Like, I get it, I understand why he’s acting this way (he found Hanako pointing a knife at his baby brother, what’s he gonna do? let him go just like that? no, that would be stupid) but still, it’s slightly unnerving

But in spite of what his brother says, Kou stands his ground defending Hanako but Tery reaches for his bead bracelet and oh. it’s a capture weapon. fantastic, this just keeps getting better and better

Hmm, idk if I’m reaching, but it kinda feels like Teru is babying his brother a little too much. I don’t know their full family situation, and while yes, Kou is clearly inexperienced in dealing with supernaturals, I feel like Teru shouldn’t dismissed what he had to say so fast although, again, the knife pointed towards Kou really doesn’t help the situation 

Hanako calls out to Haku-Joudai but holy fuck Teru really is much more powerful than Kou since he can create a lightning cage so he can’t summon his tsueshiro.

This is real bad. Things really aren’t looking good for my ghost child here

That’s interesting. Does that mean that Teru is just THAT much more powerful that his spiritual energy can control the lightning like that even if his weapon is mainly used for attacking? Also, does that mean that Kou’s weapon is better for controlling said lightning? 

It looks like Hanako is gonna tried to defend himself with his knife but Teru just tells him that “no matter how you try to cover it up, in the end, you can never hide what you truly are” with his scary face TM. And Hanoko looked angry before but after that he looks honestly shocked

It’s really something how he can looked so small and terrified while holding that knife. It conveys a very hopeless feeling, idk maybe I’m reaching

Oh wow 

Now this is some beautiful and haunting imagery.

I mentioned during my last recap that while there’s a real underlying danger that we can see in Hanako, but again, he doesn’t seem like a genuinly bad or vengeful person. So this description is suspicious to me. It could be true, but after everything we’ve seen so far, it could very well be a case of rumors twisting the original story of him murdering someone and blowing it our of proportion

 Okay so they start fighting and I’m too scared to scroll down because so far Teru has clearly proven that he’s not someone you want to mess with ahhhh

ヽ(ﾟДﾟ;)ﾉ!!

━Σ(ﾟДﾟ|||)━    OH MY GOD NO NOPE NO

Σ(ﾟ口ﾟ;)// Σ(ﾟ口ﾟ;)// Σ(ﾟ口ﾟ;)//  IT JUST KEEPS GETTING WORSE NOOO BABY that looks so painful ahhhhhhh

I don’t want to keep scrolling but hnnnnng I must know if my child will be okay (and I know that he most likely will be but still jfc this is so painful to look at)

Kou explains how Teru usually fights against supernatural and ngl it’s kinda horrifying and yes, it looks like it’s best to stay out of range but Hanako is trapped there with no way out

And ahhhhh now Kou is second guessing himself, thinking maybe his brother was right and that Hanako should be exorcised but nooo baby you should listen to your instincts if they tell you something is not quite right here

Ohhhh. Okay, so we’re dealing with a layer of self-confidence issues too. I didn’t consider it, since it just seemed like he admired his brother a whole lot, but it isn’t just that. And it makes sense, since from what we saw last chapter, Teru seems to be some kind of prodigy, and it’s not rare that Kou started to compare himself to him (not only thinking that he wants to be like him, but also seeing what he’s lacking since Teru seems to be so “perfect”). So yeah, to him, his brother “knows what’s best”, because that’s the way it’s always been

Teru says that Hanako has been near the shore for a long time and that it’s time for him to face his punishment, but Hanako seems to have something to say about that and

oh. oH no.  he’s crying oh nO he looks so sad oh god ಥ_ಥ

So to Hanako, being exorcised wouldn’t be a fair way to pay for his crimes. He’s telling Teru that if he expels him right now, then nothing would be gained from it since he would just be released from the mortal plane without actually doing something to atone. And “atone” is a fitting way to put it, since from what we’ve seen, he doesn’t want (or expects) to be forgiven, he just wants to do things right, to find a way to repent for what he has done. It’s is also in line with what he told Kou before, about how he cannot let himself be exorcised yet because he has a task he has to acomplish.

And Kou is thinking back to all the ways in which Hanako has been helpful and the times when he protected both him and Yashiro. And he makes a fair point, he (and us readers too) has no way of knowing if Hanako is telling the true, he could be lying. But still, Hanako’s actions are out there on the table, and Kou needs to make his decision based on what he believes is the right thing to do.

( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

Σ(ﾟДﾟ；≡；ﾟдﾟ) !!!!! FUCKING HELL WHAT OH GO D

KOU YOU’RE A PRECIOUS ANGEL THAT DESERVES THE WORLD BLESS YOU

Hanako and Teru look so shocked but Kou isn’t backing down, no sir, he’s here on a mission and he’s not gonna let his new friend/tolerated acquaintance be exorcised. Also holy fuck he body slammed his brother into the ground wow he’s really not playing around and

This is good. He needs to let this out or it’s gonna eat him up. And yeah, it seems like I was right on the money with the too much babying before. Kou makes some very valid points here: yes, he’s not his brother, he’s nowhere near Teru’s level of experience and he should have been more catious when dealing with Hanako, but he has also seen things his brother hasn’t. He’s seen how Hanako behaves around him and Yashiro, and how he tries to protect all the students in the school, so he’s not gonna be blinded by the “all supernaturals are bad” speech because he knows it’s not true.

He admits that he needs to get stronger and he’s confident that he wiil, And then he will decide if Hanako needs to be exorcised or not, that’s a responsability he’s willing to take. I’m really proud of him, for sticking to what he believes it’s right, even against his brother’s wishes.

And thankfully, Teru relents and decides to let Kou handle things on the forefront because he doesn’t want his baby brother to hate him. They’ve reach a solid middle ground, the only thing Teru asks is for Kou to remember what he’s said all that and to be conscious that this is Hanako’s last chance if anything happens. Next time he won’t be so kind.

Now Kou and Hanako are left alone, and Kou tells Hanako to behave properly since he doesn’t trust him fully yet and that at the moment he starts acting suspicious, he’ll exorcise him

...................okay, no, I call bullshit on that. There’s no way Hanako had time to apply the eyedrops during his fight with Teru. Even if he had them handy for something, there’s no way. He has to be doing it to lighten the heavy atmosphere because he’s a little shit like that.

Ohhhhhhhhh okay we’re cutting to back to Yashiro in the library. Hopefully this will be more lighthearted, I feel like the previous confrontation was too much for my heart

She’s researching the seven mysteries but it seems like she’s not having much luck since everything she finds is about the girl Hanako-san.

OH

Hello there, suspicious green haired girl that’s shown to spread the rumors in the anime and that was with that suspicous guy that sent a spirit orb to spy on my babies. How nice of you to appear...........I’m sure only good things will come out of this

Oh, looks like there’s a preview of scenes from the next volume of the manga

.......It certainly looks like we have quite the ride ahead of us, doesn’t it. Also!! That white haired guy from the anime intro is finally here! Since he was right next to Yako in the intro, I’m guessing he must be one of the mysteries we’ll deal with, possible number five since Aoi mentions it right there.

Awwwww they have a little sister! She looks so cute! It looks like Teru isn’t a morning person and judging from the apron Kou is wearing, it looks like he takes care of the cooking? or some kind of housework? I wonder if this means that their parents are out of the picture

[captainschmoe]

I Will Survive [Beta] - Chapter 7: No More

[A/N: This is the point in the story where I start to realize that I, at best, barely know what I’m doing. Go me?]

[Summary: In which literally every one of Sean’s friends makes an announcement, then there’s a nightmare.]

[Previous - Next]

Sean didn’t feel any kind of intro would be an appropriate one, so he just cut to the chase. “So, there’s been something really freaky going on, and... I didn’t want to talk about it with you guys at first. But now it’s reached... It’s come to a point where I’d just be endangering all you guys if I didn’t talk about it. So... here’s the deal...”

“So over on Jacksepticeye’s channel, he made this character called ‘Antisepticeye.’ He’s basically this evil- He’s literally this evil demonic thing that lives inside him. Eh, heheh...” Felix gave a nervous chuckle at how stupid that sounded. “But, like, if you heard the news recently about that girl in Oregon who was turned to stone, that’s Anti. That was him.”

“Because that happened to me, too. Here, let me show you my phone real quick...” Mark scrolled through the messages, finding the photo that was sent to Jack. He held it up to the camera for everyone to see. “So this is a text I sent to Jack. I didn’t actually send it, but it’s there. That’s my dead, stone body on the ground. That exact thing happened to me. Now I did manage to get out of that situation, and I would tell you guys how you can get out of there, too...”

“...but as you probably know from the news story, that girl didn’t come back like Jack and Mark did. And it’s the-” Marzia hiccuped in incoming sadness. She tried to swallow down the lump in her throat. “It’s the same with his girlfriend, Signe - Wiishu. She’s gone, too, and she hasn’t come back.”

“And it’s terrifying. I mean, I’m proud of Jack for actually being able to hold it together as well as he is, and being able to talk about this, ‘cause... If I had to watch something like that happen to Mary, or Layla...” Ken sighed, gritting his teeth. “Think I’d lose my goddamn mind.”

“I don’t know what’s next. Or who’s next. I don’t think Jack knows, either.” A moment of silence in the black as Cry attempted to gather some thoughts. “I’m just at a complete loss for words right now. I’m just...” He sniffed. “I want nothing more than for them to come back and for everyone to be happy again.”

“It’s obviously possible for them to come back, if Mark and Jack could come back,” Amy said. “I believe we can get Signe back. I believe Alyssa’s family can get her back. I don’t really want to think about the possibility that they might not, but I guess...” She drifted off. “What can I do?”

“I mean, if there’s anything I can do that would bring them back, anything at all, I will absolutely do it. I’m scared, I’ll admit it.” Bob gazed off-camera towards the ground for a moment. “I just really want to be there for Jack, because it’s the right thing to do, and because I want to, and because I know he’d do the same for me if I was in that situation.”

“We just want Jack to know that he’s not alone in all this. Jack, if you’re watching this... You’l never be alone. You’ve got us, you’ve got all your other friends, you’ve got your community-”

“Yeah, we’ve always got your back!” Dan piped up.

“Always.”

“It’s ‘cause we love him.”

“Yeah.” Arin chuckled. Sappy, but true.

Wade shrugged and rubbed his eyes. “...eh, I don’t even know what I’m saying at this point. Like, I know everything’s so cheesy and cliched, but it’s true. It’s really true. And I really want to put my effort first and foremost into helping him. The videos can wait.”

“So Jack and I will obviously not be making any more videos for the time being. I’m really sorry, but I’m sure you guys understand? This is all very overwhelming, as I said.” Well, no shit, Robin. “I’ve said this probably a dozen times in this video already, ut it’s really important to me to be there for him, and try and help him... not lose his sanity, I guess?”

“And I know all you guys will be there with him, too. Like one big supportive family!” Ethan grinned. “So yeah. That’s about all I have to say about it, I don’t really know how else to end this video, so I’ll leave you with- oh.” His eyes widened and pointed off-camera somewhere, and his hand came up to his stomach. “Uh... Guys? I’m feeling kinda-”

The screen cut to black. Static sounds filled the speakers, growing in intensity and even ignoring any efforts to turn down the volume. Eardrums felt shattered. And then came the silence, broken only by the sound of Anti introducing himself.

“Sorry to say, h͝e͢'͘ş ģone.”

A still image, covered in wavering glitch effects, of Ethan’s petrified body lying on the floor replaced the black, with Anti’s disembodied voice narrating over it.

“Slowly but surely, I build my community. - Right under your nose t̡ḩiş ͢whole̢ t̢i̛me! - Oh, poor little Ethan... I di͠dn͟'͠t want͠ to do this. - I d͟es̸er͜ve better! - I nev̡e͟ŗ wa͠nted to do this. And yet you! - N̶ev̸er e҉v͜en͜ kne̸w͝... - You’re the ones who d͟r̡o̸ve me͟ this far!

“And here you were all wor̴ried about Jack’s ot͞h͘e͏r͡ ͟e̡gos...” Anti snarled at the word. “Well, don’t fret now. They’re aaalll safe and sound... with͝ ̷m͏e.” A giggle rang through. “I’m sure your be̢lovéd͜ 'blue boi’ will enjoy the c̸o͜m̷pany, too... - And his f̸ri͡end͜s.”

The screen cut to black again, and in typical Anti fashion, he gave one last one-liner:

“Oh, S͢͞ea̛ǹ̶͝... If you only knew...”

I want to be as happy as I used to make Them.

“I blame Mark,” Felix said, sitting on the edge of the bed, hunched over with his head in his hands. “If I die, it’s all his fault.”

“You’re not gonna die, you drama queen,” Sean retorted. “I survived. I’m still surviving. Look at me.” He, too, felt the worst headache and tinnitus he could have ever imagined. He was honestly surprised that he could ever hear Felix at all, let alone normally.

“Still blaming him for this massive migraine.” He put on his best - honestly, worst - Markiplier deep voice. “‘Hey, Jack, Felix, go watch Ethan, it’ll blow your fuckin’ minds!’ Yeah, sure. My mind wants to be blown, all right. ...Goddammit.”

Sean snorted at the unfortunate word choice.

“Shut up! You know what I meant! My head’s gonna explode!” Felix lay down, curling up into a fetal position. “I’m just gonna lay here and hopefully either get better or more likely die.”

Sean sarcastically rubbed his back. “There, there, poor baby.”

“Everything’s spinning. Your voice is echoing. Tell my family I love them.”

Oh, yeah, he never did tell anyone else about Echo yet, did he?

“Hey, Felix?”

“Yeah? You wanna say your last goodbye?”

“No, something else. It’s gonna sound kind of stupid.”

“I’ll take a stupid eulogy.” Felix twisted around to face him. “Go for it.”

Sean rolled his eyes and leaned back against the headboard. He sighed. “So the last two nights I was visited by this... person, I guess? In my sleep. They don’t have a visible body, it’s just a voice, but we’ve been talking. They seem nice, they’re called Echo.” Felix nodded, continuing to listen. Hadn’t made fun of him yet. Well, it wouldn’t be the most ridiculous thing to have been told in the last couple of days. “They told me they want me to kill Anti.”

Felix narrowed his eyes. “Well, no shit, I hope so.”

“I don’t know how, though. I don’t even know if this Anti, like, follows the rules I made for him, or if he’s different somehow. I don’t know how to get rid of him, or how to undo everything he’s done...”

“Well, are you gonna see Echo again tonight? Maybe you can ask them.”

“Hopefully.” If I can sleep. He wasn’t so sure having a stone Signe in the house would do any good for his ability to get some shut-eye.

Felix seemed to catch on to Sean’s distant staring, as he reached out to his back and gave it a series of light taps in an awkward attempt at comfort; he didn’t even properly meet Sean’s eyes until he pulled his arm away. Still a nice gesture on his part, one that put the briefest and subtlest of smiles on Sean’s face. He added, “You can have Edgar and Maya sleep with you if that helps.”

“Nah, I move too much in my sleep. I’d probably crush them.”

“They don’t have to be in bed with you. We can put their little beds over there.” He pointed to a spot a few feet away from them.

“Mm, I guess that works. Thanks, Felix.”

“No problem.”

“You gonna be alright?”

“Eh, I’m feeling a little less shitty. Still gonna lay here for a bit if that’s okay.”

“Yeah, go ahead.” Sean pulled the blanket over him before leaving him alone, intending for it as a silly little “there, there, poor baby” joke, though Felix seemed to genuinely take it for what it was. Despite never showing it well to anyone aside from Marzia and the dogs, Sean knew he was a softie deep down. Maybe he’ll just leave him here and take the guest room himself.

A whole bunch of them!

Anti could practically taste infection in the group of teenagers - all of them! - down by the lakeside. What a convenient little haul; he could just drown them without the need to fool around infecting them first, and without any leftover kids screaming for help. Not that screaming would do them much good. What was the help going to do? Exorcise them back to life? Please. All screaming would accomplish for them would be to piss him off more. God, he hated screaming.

It hurt seeing their faces turn from confusion to awe to horror as they watched their idol - who should have been nowhere near their location - become who he really was. But it was a hurt Anti was willing to put up with if it would lead to his ultimate end goal. Besides, if he hadn’t before, he definitely crossed the event horizon now. He already went too far down this rotten path - might as well embrace it.

Ah. And the spontaneous conversion of another he’d met and spread his plague to recently, judging by the small, pleasant tingling he felt coursing through his nerves. Better get back home and guide all of his new citizens to the hub before anyone realized his host was missing.

“Echo?”

“Sean!” Echo sounded panicked.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s getting worse. Anti’s...” They were sobbing, hiccups interrupting them. “Anti’s just getting more and more people, and he’s infecting more people, and they’re dying, and-”

“Okay, settle down, little buddy.” Sean instinctively reached outward in front of himself, feeling a bit stupid when there was no person, no body in front of him to touch and comfort. “Listen, we can get through this. Right? You seem to know a lot about Anti, right? Can you tell me how we can stop him?”

Echo sniffed. “You ju- You just need to work with the community and Robin and promise that you’re not going to acknowledge his existence anymore.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s why he exists. You made him, you can destroy him. I can’t.”

“Well...” Jeez, destroy him? That’s a... strong word choice. “Isn’t there another way we can beat him without ‘destroying’ him?”

“You think he deserves to live?”

Sean bit his lip. “I mean, I understand where you’re coming from, but I’d really rather not...” No more Antisepticeye ever again? Like, ever? They could never talk about him ever again? And he’d be permanently dead? They literally have to murder someone who has a mind of his own now? Sure, Sean got it. He’s done horrible things. Emotions are high. Shit’s scary. But was that really the most effective solution? The more Echo demanded Anti’s death, the more Sean’s brain wanted to resist. He didn’t want to accept murder as the first solution, even against someone like Anti. There had to be another way. There just had to be. “...I’d rather not just outright kill him if I don’t absolutely have to.”

“Well, you absolutely have to,” Echo replied rather coldly. “He will not stop otherwise.”

“Well, what about Signe and Ethan-”

“I’ll make sure you get all your friends back!” Echo started panicking and shouting again. “Just trust me! Sean? Sean!”

“What’s wro- aah!”

"Stay with me!”

Sean fell. How and where, he didn’t know, but he fell.

“Sean!”

The dusty, cobwebby back corner of the closet I get shoved in is the most empty and lonely place in this universe.

All of his friends are surrounding him, glaring at him. Gazes of anger, disappointment, and despair - a clear indication that they aren’t his friends anymore. There are a few spaces in the semicircle they’ve formed around him, and a few faces he looks for but doesn’t see - Signe, Ethan, Mark...

He knows where they are.

A strange yet familiar dark figure walks past him from behind, walking the semicircle and scanning its members. They stop at Felix. “This one,” they say, grabbing him by the shoulder, conjuring a shadowy set of handcuffs and locking his wrists behind his back, and walking him to Sean. Felix says nothing, nor does he even resist. He looks at Sean with eyes pleading for him not to harm him. Sean wishes he could oblige.

“Let’s go,” says the dark figure. They lead Sean and Felix up a series of staircases through a set of double doors behind them. They’re a sterile white with black railings, and the occasional smattering of worn paint and rust providing the only iota of color. They go up past the first floor. Second. Third. They never stop at any of the landings. How high does it go again? Sean looks up and tries to see, but the figure and Felix are leaving him behind. Too many for his poor legs. Pant, pant.

Finally, after far too many landings, they reach their floor. Seven flights, he’d counted. Right. Sean’s legs are rock-hard, compressed, aching, searing. It’s a miracle they didn’t crumble away into a dozen pieces each yet. There is a door with a shiny black lock, which the figure opens using their own finger as the key.

Inside are Signe, Mark, and Ethan, who, upon seeing the three of them enter, immediately line up in a row in front of Sean - Mark visibly struggling and stumbling to do so - dropping to their knees and gazing up at him with weariness that pangs his heart. Dribbling maroon wounds dot their bodies.

And now it’s Felix’s turn to join them. The figure shoves him to the ground, and turns to Sean with shining white eyes - no visible face - expecting him to make his move. Felix struggles to stand up on his knees, the handcuffs holding him down. No one helps him.

Only now does Sean think to look down at his hands. Long black nails dripping ichor replace his nails. His skin is marred with scars of varying degrees of freshness, some deep red, others stark white. Spots of blood stain his chest.

He doesn’t need any more information.

“Give ‘em a good smack,” the figure requests. “Hard as you can.” Their eyes narrow, and are practically targeting Sean like lasers. There’s a price to pay for defiance. Sean must obey.

He makes it quick. Doesn’t even look at his face as he does it. Felix winces and grunts as the cuts rip across his cheek. Trying to keep his cool. But there’s so many more waiting in line after him...

Next is Ethan, who already has a line of four puncture wounds in his throat and is bracing for impact. He still yelps as Sean rakes his face. Sean cringes, too. That yelp makes it so much worse. What did Ethan do? What did any of them do to deserve this?

Then Signe. She, too, has punctures in her throat, as well as a large blood splotch on her stomach. There are tears welling in her eyes.

He hesitates.

“Go!” booms the figures voice.

Smack.

Oh God, why did I do that? I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, oh God, she’s crying...

Okay. There’s just one more. Mark. Scarred with punctures and a stomach wound. There’s another one, he remembered. From when he stabbed him from behind.

Ugh, Mark’s looking at him like he wants him flayed alive...

Just get it over with...

Mark flinches but doesn’t make a peep, seeming used to this by now. He still glares at Sean. Not so much of active viciousness and aggression, but more that of a long-standing hatred ingrained in his soul.

I’m so sorry, guys...

The figure is drinking in the ecstasy released from the four of them. Their lack of a face makes it impossible for Sean to see how they truly feel watching him destroy the people he loves just for another hit. It’s the same reaction as before, despite Sean harming more people. The figure has been building as much a tolerance as a dependence. More, more, more, it’s never enough to satiate them for long. What happens when Sean goes through the whole crowd? Does he have to keep slashing everyone over and over again for the figure’s high? Or will even that fail to be enough? Is it even worth hurting them this much just so he can be fed and watered? Especially since Sean is going to die somewhere down the line anyway, no matter how well he’s being taken care of?

He doesn’t want to live like this anymore.

But he has no other options...

“That will be all.”

The figure disappears without a trace, leaving Sean alone with these people once so near and dear to him. They still are, he still loves and cares for them, but the feeling is hardly mutual. None of them want anything to do with him anymore. They’ve disowned him by now. The loneliness crushes his soul into dust and suffocates him with it.

Why me?