#trying to avoid triggers but they seem to be everywhere and while everything eventually fades it doesn't fully
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#lina talks#nas#tw negativity#...........................................................................................................................................#............................................................................................................................................#pov I think I may be struggling with mental health again and it doesn't make sense bc it's summer break#but it's not stress it's other stuff#and yes I've set up an appt with one of my uni psych counselors but there's only so much they can do#and I'm suspecting I may have something diagnosable but I'm scared that I do.... mostly bc I'm on my parents insurance#and while they're more with the times than most other parents of my ethnicity that I know#idk how well they'd react if I told them I had something and needed actual therapy and/or medication#idk. idk idk#trying to avoid triggers but they seem to be everywhere and while everything eventually fades it doesn't fully#and I leave home to go back to the city for my internship tomorrow#really do not want to go... not bc I don't want the internship (I do) it's just#whenever I go back I get hit with waves of stress just due to the nature of what I'm working in either bc of academics or ecs or both#and if I have a mental breakdown hundreds of miles from home I can't exactly go home to deal with it#reality is I'm scared bc idk what's going to happen and at least when I'm at home I know I'm not alone#but when I'm up there even though I have friends I'm horrific with being vulnerable#and as such there aren't a lot of ppl I will talk to about major stuff#idk I'm making myself sick thinking about it my stomach hates me#oh and there's that too like - my anxiety now manifests in more physical symptoms and it's disgusting#mostly stomach problems. I fucking hate it#I'll probably delete this later I just needed to say things somewhere
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Stray Kids Side Effects Theories
okay so i have two theories that revolve around hyunjin. this is all to do with the Side Effects mv so if you haven’t seen it please watch that before reading these theories to avoid spoilers, cause there are a lot in this post.
so my first theory: Hyunjin is working for the “bad guys”?
okay okay i know that sounds really weird right off the batbut just bear with me lmao.
so hyunjin hasn’t really had “much” to do with the main storyline. except for this comeback. he never was in front during big dramatic scenes such as the hellevator “going to hell to chase jisung” scene, or in district 9 when chris was leading them on to the bus to escape. he always stayed to the back of everything.
this era however he’s very prominently in the front and centre for a lot of the scenes. such as the elevator scene where the doors open to reveal Jungle City which skz failed to take over. hyunjin rolled his eyes and closed the elevator doors. in this mv as well he was really bitchy and mean to stray kids, specifically felix (whom people believe is the “glitch” as by popular theories about skz’s storyline), and seungmin (who hasn’t had much to do with the main storyline either). felix was harmlessly standing up and looking over top of the car thing. hyunjin grabbed felix harshly and tried to pull him down. felix pulled away, but hyunjin eventually stopped grabbing him and looked away, sighing and rolling his eyes. chris did the same earlier on in the mv but hyunjin didn’t reach at all to him.
when they reached the “road closed” fence, they’re at a “dead end”. seungmin starts taking harmless photographs to memorise their journey (as he did in I Am You). hyunjin stormed up and ripped the camera out of seungmin’s hands and threw it away. he went to grab seungmins shoulders but seungmin pushed hyunjin out of frustration. hyunjin pushes back, harder than minnie did. the members break them apart as they continue to fight. changbin eventually stops them from fighting. then, seemingly the fence “fell over” and skz were able to continue through. there was a glitch effect that happened before the car is shown continuing its journey (keep that in mind).
a tyre pops, and skz seemed to have lost all hope. hyunjin looks the least bothered, but is still pretty upset. the bus appears out of seemingly thin air, and skz follow the bus, hyunjin leading (bearing in mind hyunjin always stayed at the back of the group until this point). then it cuts to hyunjin lying face up on the ground. chris arrives with skz and helps him up. the rest of skz bearing a smile that fades seconds after the nine of them walk away. then we see the mv cut to a key in water or some sorts.
here’s where my theory kicks in: hyunjin was never “fixed” after being “brainwashed” in District 9. he never seemed to be up front and centre for anything until this era. he never did get “fixed” like the rest of skz did. he stayed brainwashed by society but stuck with skz as he is a spy. he has to follow closely with skz and monitor their movements, which is why there were cameras everywhere they went as hyunjin reported to the politicians that they were travelling that direction (such as the camera Jisung broke in I Am You). hyunjin made sure skz arrived in the city at the right time when the politicians were active. they failed to take over the city and “escaped” while hyunjin followed, still reporting back to the politicians. he wanted to lead skz away to an area where he could “kidnap” them and bring them back. he brought chris a key that could save them and bring them to a “yellow wood”. they did so and met the smiling politician bus driver.
skz then realised that they’d never be safe if they follow the bus driver, so they say that they’ll wait at the bus stop, much to hyunjins dismay. he angrily follows stray kids, mad that his plan failed. small little things like picture taking and looking at the view triggered hyunjin. eventually, he started realising while they were travelling that maybe the “normal” way of life wasn’t a good thing. he opened the fence and let stray kids travel, interested to see where they’d go next. however, when the wheel bursts, hyunjin is saddened. he thought that skz could get away. but now the politicians might come find him. they find the bus, and hyunjin realises that all the normality is wrong. he makes the plan to follow the bus and stop the politicians before it gets too late.
he leads skz towards the bus, but seemingly “blacks out” as they reach it. he wakes up while skz surround him. chris helps him up and the nine of them leave. they found out then that hyunjin worked for the politicians, which explains their distaste in the situation of saving hyunjin. the key in the water was a key that could bring skz “home”. that could bring them to a safe haven. hyunjin has this key but throws it away when he’s fighting seungmin. skz are trapped without a way home. it’s either to stay in the yellow woods or to go back to jungle city.
okay so theory number 2: Hyunjin wants to go home more than anyone else?
since skz have been running from the “politicians” for ages (since Hellevator), it’s normal to want to go home. however, no one could be as bad as Hyunjin.
hyunjin just wants to be free. he wants to go home and for all of this pain and suffering to stop. he gets angry at felix because he’s afraid he might give away their location. if the politicians spot felix, all of they could be captured and brainwashed again. he wants to look out for felix.
he stops seungmin from taking photos because, if the politicians find the camera, they have evidence of where skz are travelling next. hyunjin wasn’t trying to be bitchy. he just wants to leave. seungmin was also taking pics in i am you to remember the journey that he had with skz if they were to ever arrive home. but now hyunjin realises that the photos are evidence: a way for the politicians and anyone who’s against them to discover their location and track them down. all hyunjin wants is to go home and to forget any of this.
i like to think that hyunjin had the key with him all this time, but lost it while running towards the bus, making the storyline evolve as they have no way of escaping. without they key in the elevator they can’t escape at all. that’s how they got here, so that’s surely how they were supposed to leave. without their “way home”, they are trapped in the yellow woods.
AAAAAAA THIS WAS WAY TOO LONG STAN TALENT STAN STRAY KIDS STREAM SIDE EFFECTS
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