#try to see if you can find the one by yours truly👀💖

[myownwholewildworld]

iii. like obsidian & quartz - acta, non verba

chapter 2 | series masterlist | ao3 | main masterlist | chapter 4 pairing: conqueror!marcus acacius x ofc!reader. summary: your efforts to get the ball rolling on your plan get shunted aside by marcus' chivalry. a/n: hey, hi, hello! i'm sorry it's taken me a month to post the third chapter, but here it is! 💖 i do find posting this series a bit nerve-wracking, just because i have the feeling that this plot is bigger than my writing skills so i keep wondering if i'm making it justice. but i'm rolling with it anyways haha as always, all interactions welcome, i do appreciate you liking, sharing and/or commenting! take care <3 warnings: 18+, mdni. some impure thoughts. one account of a handjob (👀). sexual tension. misogyny. a fair bit of swearing. sword fight, death, wounds, blood... you know the drill. dialogue in italics means it’s spoken in gaelic (unless stated otherwise, i.e. latin) when marcus and callie are in the same scene. marcus is 48, ofc!reader is 26. w/c: ~9.9k. (i'm truly sorry) dividers by @saradika-graphics taglist at the end (let me know if you want to be added/removed please!)

“Here again, wee lass?” Cormag’s croaky voice caught you off guard.

You jumped in place and almost hit the back of your head against the shelf above.

You were bent over a pile of baskets in the kitchen, trying to count how many wild parsnips there were left. With your family gone, you had to look after your people. You worried there was not much left to eat, but the old cook seemed to be good at rationing. The Romans had no measure when it came to food, rapidly dwindling the stock saved for the village. There were way too many mouths to feed now, and the first harvest of the root vegetables would not be for at least another six months.

Your blood boiled when you saw the feasts the Romans were served every night while the servants had a measle chunk of bread and a watered-down broth. You were all living under tyranny — one you hoped to topple. Only if fucking Marcus Acacius was not such a tight cunt, you would be closer to your goal.

It wasn’t for your lack of trying though. Every night you were as suggestive as you could, considering how many pairs of eyes were watching you — enemies’ and allies’ alike. The first lusting after you, wondering if you were a whore who could warm up their bed at night, and the second curious about what game you were up to. Not many people were privy to your plan.

“Ah, ye ogre! You scared the shit out of me,” you chuckled, hand on pounding heart, when you turned around to face him.

Cormag’s thick brows knitted together, his big, round nose red with rage.

“I told you I didn’t want to see you around here until at least tomorrow,” he barked, arms folded with disapproval.

“Come on, Cormag. I’ll work tonight and then—”

“Nay, I don’t want to hear it. You are not working tonight. You’ve worked the last eight nights in a row,” he said between gritted teeth. “I want you to go home to Bonnie and rest.”

You huffed, now your turn to cross arms.

“I need no rest. I am fresh as a daisy, couldn’t be better,” you lied through your teeth.

The reality was you were knackered. You had been helping out in the kitchens day and night, much to Cormag’s despair. If you were not doing a stock check, you were shuffling stuff around for the next meal or cleaning after those filthy, mannerless soldiers. And you were the savages, the cheek they had was beyond you.

“Don’t bullshit me, I can see right through it. Those grey circles under your eyes are screaming for some sleep,” he replied, getting closer to you.

His heavy hands landed on your shoulders, forcing you to turn around and pushing you towards the door. You resisted, digging your heels into the cobblestone.

“Cormag, mas e do thoil e (please)! If I go home, I’m just going to get bored. I need something to occupy my mind with,” you pleaded with him, but he was deaf as a rock to your request.

“The whole point of sleeping is to empty your mind, not to occupy it with something,” he stopped dragging you once you were through the arch.

Sleep had evaded you since your whole family had been murdered. Every time you closed your eyes, you saw Marcus’ gladius sinking in your father’s belly, your brothers’ and sister’s intertwined arms as they burnt to ashes, your mother’s mangled body while the Earth swallowed her whole. As if you didn’t have enough demons as it was, tragedy had knocked on your door once more — unannounced, greedy even.

You spun around, flashing your eyelashes at him, puppy eyes and all. Cormag just shook his head no, unwavering, and pointed towards the corridor that would lead you outside.

“I want you out of my sight for one day, fear beag (little one). Humour me, I beg you,” it was almost a prayer, but you knew Cormag did not have one sanctified bone in his body.

“Okay, just one night. But I’ll be back tomorrow!” You shouted over your shoulder, a proper threat, as you sauntered towards the hall.

It was still the early evening, but the courtyard was brimming with life. There were a few legionaries dotted around, swords at the ready. They seemed to train late into the night before they burst in into the great hall to eat and drink like gluttons.

As your feet slithered through the wet grass, you suddenly felt a heavy pair of eyes on you. Brown, beautiful— no, dreadful eyes, you were sure. You didn’t need to look to know that Marcus was watching your every step — your body burnt hot every time he would study you with so much intensity.

And he was doing that again, just now. You debated whether to lock eyes on him or not, but it was a lost fight. Soon enough, your green orbs located him in his black and golden armour walking towards the keep, mud up to his knees and a wild look on his face. One you had not seen before — a crack in his steadfast façade.

Your brows slightly furrowed, almost coming to a halt, while you tried to understand what was different. Then you saw it: his sword was stained with blood. He was not coming back from training, but… from battle? Your heartrate spiked; your eyes slightly widened as your fingers clutched a fist of your long skirt.

What battle? What had happened? What was going on? Who had he hurt? Did you know them? Had you lost someone dear? Was death knocking at your door once more?

You tamed your features as he approached, putting on your best act as you calmed down your quick breathing. His eyes never left yours, not while he walked from the portcullis to the keep, not once.

As he got to where you were, he nodded in your direction, as if to say, “don’t worry, I’m okay.” You then understood he mistook your concern, thinking it was for him. Oh, how wrong he was… You were not worried about him in the slightest, but about whoever succumbed to his sword.

As soon as he and his retinue disappeared into the keep, you bunched your skirt up and started running towards the village, dreading what you might find there.

Five minutes later, you were in the town’s square. A crowd was gathered around the stone well. The shrieking cry of a mother cradling his dead son pierced through the silence, boring into your heart.

“My wee lad, mo mhac (my son)!” Her screams formed a knot in your throat, one so tight you feared you could not breath.

You forged your way through the multitude, finding the woman on her knees, hugging her son close to her chest. You knew them — you knew everyone in your lands, if not by face, by name at least. These you knew by face and name.

Torcall was standing right behind her, blood on his clothes indicating he had been the one bringing the lad back for his mother to mourn.

Torcall’s sombre expression prevented you from saying anything, even when you looked at him for answers. He just shook his head no and turned around to speak to a young man. You quickly recognised him too, Dòmhnall — son to the grieving woman, brother to the deceased boy. Dòmhnall nodded to Torcall’s words and vanished.

Torcall made his way towards you and pushed you aside.

“What the fuck is going on, Torcall?”

“People are growing restless, Callie. The Romans were by the firth, training in the murky waters. Some lads saw Acacius alone for one second and thought they could take him,” he didn’t need to explain what the outcome had been.

“What were they thinking? Taking on the General? How old were they?”

“Around ten and five. When Acacius killed the boy, his friends panicked, dragged him out and retreated. I found them in the woods. The others were lucky to escape alive,” Torcall sighed heavily and so did you.

“We all need to be careful here. We’ve got to play the long game. Once we have enough information from them, then we can start planning some skirmishes to diminish their numbers, but not before,” you pinched the bridge of your nose in frustration as you both walked towards Bonnie’s.

“People don’t listen to reason when they feel threatened,” he looked at you askance, then back down to his feet, momentarily lost in thought. “You need to speak to some people, let the rumour spread that you’re working towards freedom — otherwise they’ll feel like they’ve been forgotten, and rightfully so. Let people know that they will need to be ready to fight when you command them. Give them some hope, something to look forward to.”

You didn’t want to show your hand too early, but Torcall was partially right. If this continued, if people tried to get their own justice, it would end up being more tragic than what ought to be. You could not endure more senseless loss of life, your clansmen dying for naught.

Your plan was so clear in your head, a simple to-do list —gain Marcus’ trust, kill off his army little by little, then finish him once he was the last man standing— but yet you hoped effective. If someone deviated, if someone betrayed you, then it would all be over way too soon. And you would end up like your mother — left for dead, hung in a cage off the keep as if you were a rat exposed to the elements.

“My athair’s retinue are already in the know,” you thought out loud, lips pouting with doubt. “But I did make them swear they would not tell a soul.”

Torcall propped open the wooden door to Bonnie’s crannog, the creaking noise welcoming you to the only home you knew now.

“I’ll go speak to my cousins, Seumas and Anndra, tomorrow. I know how eager they are to start a war, so this might appease them. I don’t want people up in arms just yet, we’ll wait for the Romans to be at their lowest,” you whispered back to him.

“Uhm, maybe—” Torcall’s voice got drown by the ones of his children.

“Auntaidh, auntaidh (auntie)!”The synchronised cacophony of your niece and nephew swept away part of the guilt you were feeling, forcing a wide smile onto your lips.

“I don’t think she’s here tonight, Marcus,” Maximus jest made his head turn to his direction.

With a cocked brow, Marcus feigned ignorance, the wooden fork in his hand mindlessly pushing around a lone meatball on his plate.

“Who?” He asked, as if neither of them knew who Maximus was referring to.

Your presence in the great hall every night had become a welcomed sight, one he had grown used to over the last few days. Not because it was soothing, but because it caused havoc. That was what he welcomed — someone who was not taken aback by his presence, someone who would hold his gaze and wouldn’t fold, someone who would shamelessly say his first name the way you said it nine nights ago.

And if he was entirely honest with himself, he also welcomed your advances. Not that he was showing it, but every taunting Dux Meus (my General/Leader/God), every suggestive glance, every time you touched him, his skin would set ablaze. It was just a harmless game, as long as it remained just that. He was here to do a job, and nothing should get in the way of that — even if a red-haired, green-eyed nymph tempted him down the path of infidelity.

How hypocritical of him to think of all the things he would do to you if given the chance, when he despised his wife for doing exactly that.

“What was her name? Connie? Charlie?” Maximus tapped his chin with one finger, pretending to think.

“Callie,” Marcus bit the bait without realising.

“Ah, yes. Callie. How could you forget when the poor woman has been throwing herself at you for more than a week now and you have given her nothing in return?” The commander observed with an ample grin. “Have you claimed her yet? Fucked her?”

His whole body went rigid with rage at Maximus’ provocation. Sometimes he hated his friendship with him, the liberties he took even though he was above the man in the command chain. If it wasn’t because there were still people on the dais, Marcus would have punched him square in the jaw to shut him up.

Instead, his eyes darted to his friend’s with a dark warning in them. Maximus laughed it off, leaning back on his chair and looking at him with a mischievous smile.

“I’ll take that as a no then. I bet she’s tired of being ignored and that’s why she’s not here tonight. Maybe she’s fucking one of your legionaries in the barracks right now. Damn, maybe I’ll do that myself—”

“Are you fucking done?” He interrupted, the legs of his chair screeching as he dragged it backwards to stand up.

“Have I touched a nerve now?” Maximus’ smile just grew bigger as he stood up too, palming Marcus’ shoulder. “I’m just messing with you, old friend. Helping you, actually. You need to get laid, clear your mind of war for one night. Your hair is greyer now than what it was a month ago.”

“I don’t need your advice nor your teasing. It may be all fun and games to you, but there’s a lot on the line here,” Marcus sneered as they walked down the corridor formed by cheery and drunk soldiers sat at their tables.

He wasn’t worried about his reputation but all the debts he owed. Not him, specifically, but his wife. The lush life she led at home would ruin him eventually.

Maximus’ demeanour changed, hands laced on his back and head bowed down in deep thought.

“I know what’s at stake, Marcus. We all are doing what we can to find the instigator,” only then Marcus realised that Maximus was talking about the attempt on his life that afternoon. “Valerius’ henchman was able to follow the boy into the forest. He’s definitely dead.”

He said it as if it was good news, but that death would haunt Marcus at night. It had been just a boy, probably not more than ten and six, who had met his fate at his sword. Marcus had tried to keep him at bay, but when the boy lunged forwards with a small knife on his hand, he basically impaled himself on the gladius Marcus was holding to ward him off.

“Good to hear,” he replied with a flat, lacking voice.

Maximus angled his head, then shook it.

“Good night, Marcus. I’ll let you know if I see your Callie entertaining the men in the barracks,” Maximus waved him goodbye, light-heartedly.

“Sod off,” he rolled his eyes, before turning the corner.

A tiny part of him wanted to go after his friend and check himself, make sure you were not fucking another man.

That thought made him frown. What you did or didn’t do was none of his business. In fact, you were a free woman and could do as you pleased. Even if that meant you were not pleasing him.

You threw the saddle on Kelpie’s back — she was your late mother’s horse. The horse was as black as coal with a shiny, short coat. She was a young one, so still needed a fair amount of training — at least, she was properly socialised. Mòrag had died before she could train her newest addition. This horse was, most probably, the closest you would ever be to your màthair (mother).

The mare neighed loudly when you tried to adjust the saddle on her belly and moved around nervously, trotting in place to put distance between you two. You shushed her, caressing her muzzle and chin groove.

“Shh, shhh… It’s okay, àlainn (lovely). I see you don’t like that, do you?” You whispered in a calming manner until the mare quietened down.

You leaned forward until your forehead pressed against hers and then placed a gentle kiss on the bridge of Kelpie’s nose before reaching towards her back to remove the untied saddle.

“Barebacking it is then,” the idea didn’t thrill you, but you didn’t fancy walking all the way to Bun Craobh (Bunchrew).

That morning you had gone out to the barn to speak to Anndra and Seumas, only to find out they were no longer there. When you went back into the crannog, Bonnie mentioned they had left the morning prior. Something about a carpentry job in the next town over required their attention, or that was they had told their mother.

You had a nagging feeling that wasn’t true. The siblings were ardent defenders of your family, so you knew they would not stand idly. What brought them to Bun Craobh though, you were not sure but intended on finding out.

You led Kelpie out of the stables and into the courtyard of your castle. You hoped no one would notice you sneaking out with a horse that allegedly didn’t belong to you, but you were obviously out of luck — had been for a while now.

“Hey, puella (young lady)! Where do you think you’re going with that horse?” One of the roman soldiers cut you off, hands on hips and a deep frown. You recognised him from sitting on the dais with Marcus, although you didn’t know his name.

You cursed him under your breath, but composed a sweet smile, when you just wanted to knee his balls and run past him.

“I’m in need of a horse. We are out of some herbs and spices in the kitchens, so I was going to visit the town’s healer…” You explained with your eyes averted down and fingers laced in front of you.

“I’ll take care of this, Cassius,” Marcus appeared on his back, a heavy, broad and very masculine hand landing on the shoulder of the man in front of you.

For a brief second, you saw a flicker of disgust in his eyes, but Cassius quickly masked it with a deferent nod before walking away. Your eyes followed him, curious as to what you had just seen. Did Cassius despise Marcus? Why?

“Where are you going, Callie?” The General’s deep, throaty voice made you look in his direction.

For a second, you got lost in his chocolate eyes — there was an almost imperceptible sadness in them, a tinge of regret that seemed to haunt him every day and every night. How could that possibly be when he dispatched people to their deaths so mindlessly, so effortlessly?

“Cormag needs some bits for his cooking, Dux Meus,” you explained again, and there it was.

His irises darkened with the last two words, the sadness transforming into something else — liquid darkness. You held his gaze, hypnotised by how the desire rapidly kicked the sadness out of him. And you knew he was holding onto every bit of his control, taming his body not to react to your words — but his eyes he could not govern. They were a window to his lust.

You fought with your own craving. The way he stared at you made your skin run hot as ember and slick pool in your slit. You had been wondering what it would feel like to be fucked raw by a man like Marcus Acacius; you had even fantasized about it a few nights.

An donas dubh (dammit)! If it wasn’t for how crowded Bonnie’s crannog was, you would have even touched yourself to the thought of him plunging in and out between your thighs.

That idea was so foreign to you, it took you aback.

“Is that okay?” His question lingered; Marcus’ head tilted with knitting brows.

You looked at him doe eyed as you came out of your wet haze. Fuck, stop imagining things, he’s right there talking to you! You reprimanded yourself before blinking a few times to clear your mind.

“I-I’m sorry, Dominus (Master)?” The slight stammer in your voice was not faked this time around.

“I said I’ll accompany you to wherever you need to go. It’s not safe out there, even less so for a lonely maid serving the Romans,” he repeated.

That offer shocked you because you were not expecting such gallantry from him. You also had to smother a snicker — you were not at risk of anything, this was your land, your people. But Marcus did not know that.

“Oh, it’s not necessary, my lord. I know my way around—”

“I insist. Please,” he added, his fists curled on his sides.

If the look in his eyes indicated anything, that would be that Marcus Acacius would not accept no for an answer. And that would mess your whole itinerary up, because you could not take him to Bun Craobh, in case your cousins were really planning something. Now you would really have to go to Naimh’s new cottage, even though that was not your plan at all.

“Awright, aye,” you conceded, an unwilling smile crooking your lips.

“I didn’t see you last night in the great hall,” Marcus broke the surprisingly comfortable silence.

He was riding on your left and you couldn’t help but turn your head to watch him. So, your efforts were going somewhere at last. For eight nights you had been on his heels, serving him as if that was what you were born to do. Your attempts at seducing him began to be so obvious, you could hear the other maids giggling to themselves every time you leaned over his shoulder, offering him a clear sight of your generous cleavage.

Even his soldiers had noticed. You had been so obvious, other men thought you were a pleasure woman and that was invitation enough for some of them to try and reach for your ass whenever you approached their tables. Disgusting behaviour, but you had to laugh your way out of it and slap some hands so no one would take offense at your rejection.

“Cormag would not let me work again. I really wanted to be there though,” you said truthfully, watching him in the corner of your eye.

Marcus straightened his back, as if suddenly uncomfortable, and studied your surroundings.

It was still early afternoon, but it seemed to be later due to the thick tree canopy above you. You were travelling westward through the dense forest that neared Beauly Firth. Naimh had moved to a crannog in the road to Bun Craobh after her home in Loch Moy had been burnt to ashes. Thankfully, she had not been home when it happened. A small win in your book.

“I see. He worries about you,” he noted, jaw tight as he spoke.

“Aye, he’s like a father to me,” that old git really was. “I should be back to work tomorrow.”

“Good,” he replied without even thinking and you knew he did not intend to say that out loud. “I mean, you’re one of the few people who speak Latin. It’s hard to communicate with the rest,” Marcus added swiftly to veil his slip of tongue.

You smiled to yourself, realising this was the first time you two were alone, away from prying eyes.

“You only need to ask, Marcus,” you whispered, your voice charged with the right hint of suggestion and provocation.

His neck snapped in your direction at your words.

“Ask what?”

He knew exactly what. The man was stubborn as a mule, playing hard to get. But he was not immune to your advances, as much as he wanted to conceal his lust for you.

“You know what,” was your simple answer before spurring Kelpie on with the heels of your leather shoes.

You spotted a small hut between some trees off the main path, that had to be the crannog that Naimh had found in her search for a new home. You had seen that cottage a few times before, always abandoned and eerie — legend said that was where the wisps would lead you at night.

Kelpie sprinted towards it, and you heard Marcus’ horse neigh a few feet behind you. You needed to act fast before good ol’ Naimh gave you away and revealed your identity. So, the moment you dismounted and Naimh was under the frame of the main door, you threw your arms around her neck.

She was a fragile woman in her late sixties, white hair and wrinkling skin. Her nose a tad too prominent, her lips wide and big, slanted eyes. She was tiny too, with a crouched back that made her look even smaller.

“Naimh!” You exclaimed excitedly, and then whispered in her ear in Gaelic, “He doesn’t know who I am. Call me Callie, play along, please.”

The old woman stilled and then patted your back in understanding.

“Ah, my sweet Callie, so good to see you. I started to think you’d forgotten about this old crone. This how you treat the elderly?” She spoke in your native language, which meant Marcus would not understand a word.

“He doesn’t understand, Naimh, you don’t need to put on the best act of your life, just be mindful of my name,” you sniggered, holding her hands with both of yours. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“So have I, leannan (darling), so have I,” she squeezed your hands before dropping hers to her sides, her eyes squinting with a bit of hatred.

Marcus cleared his throat, standing right behind you. You stepped aside.

“General, this is Naimh, our town’s healer. Naimh, this is General Acacius,” you introduced them in Latin, although you were sure Naimh did not understand much.

“My pleasure,” he bowed his head slightly while Naimh stared him down as if he was a snake trying to steal the eggs off her nest.

The old woman just grunted and walked back inside, not responding to his pleasantry.

Shrugging, you looked at Marcus.

“Don’t mind her too much, she’s not really fond of anyone,” that much was true.

“She’s fond of you,�� he pointed out with a raised brow.

“Well, yeah, that’s because I pester her a lot. I can be very insisting.”

“You definitely are,” he muttered under his breath, not intended for your ears, but you heard that.

With a sufficient grin, you turned on your heels and got inside the crannog with Marcus right behind you.

By the time you were done with the visit, it was almost pitch-black outside. The weather, as everything in the Highlands, had turned too — it was dreich and drizzling, a light, damp mist hanging low, close to the ground.

You attached the thread of the little hemp sack around your waist as you waved goodbye to Naimh. She had given you an assortment of different spices she had stocked up: wild mountain thyme, dried pepper dulse and coriander grass. You were not sure if Cormag needed them, but you had to keep up with the lie in Marcus’ presence.

Both horses were lazily grazing around. They looked so different—Marcus’ white as a quartz, yours black as obsidian—they reminded you of how opposite you both were. Ironic, really, that the mare and the stallion were now approaching each other and rubbing necks.

“Kelpie,” you called her. Your mother’s horse barely looked at you, too busy grooming the back of Marcus’ horse with her teeth. “Hey!”

Kelpie almost brayed like a donkey, showing her annoyance, before she cantered towards you with a loud neigh.

“Oi, calm down. We’ve got to go back,” you asked of her, grabbing the reins.

“Kelpie? That’s an unusual name,” Marcus said while he jumped onto his horse’s back graciously.

Your mother had let you choose the name when it was first born, in one of your last visits to your family home as a married woman. A brief respite shared with Mòrag where you had forgotten who you were married to — you had spent the whole afternoon coming up with uncommon names and had finally settled for Kelpie.

“It’s a creature that inhabits lochs. They are shape-shifting spirits that usually take the form of a black horse,” you explained as you managed to get on top of the mare. A difficult task, considering there was no saddle to hold onto. “Some people say they are evil because they prey on us. They drag their victims into the water, devour them, and throw the entrails to the water's edge, so they can lure their next casualty. I think that’s just survival. There is no treachery in their nature.”

By the time you had finished talking, you were by Marcus’ side. His eyebrows almost touched each other, and you wondered if he had picked on your cutting remark about treachery. Whether he did or not, you did not know.

“Are they just stories to scare children away from deep water or are they real?” He questioned after a deliberating minute as both of your horses resumed the path ahead.

“I have never seen a kelpie myself, but I know folk who have perished to them,” you shrugged, the image of dismembered bodies by Loch Ness coming back to you. “It’s not a pretty picture.”

“I bet. Your people seem to have many stories about lurking creatures. I have seen the tapestries telling the story of the dragon-like monster living in the lake nearby,” he said with a pinch of incredulity in his voice.

“Loch. We call them lochs, not lakes,” you corrected him.

“Sorry, loch,” he said back with a soft ch, head cocked towards you. It was a good attempt.

“And that would be Nessie. She’s a staple around here, everyone loves her,” you joked. “She’s a Kelpie, but one which transforms into some sort of dragon. I’m not sure though, never seen her myself. But if you ever speak to Cormag, he’ll tell you all about her. Best mates they are, so he says.”

As soon as you spoke of the cook, you realised your mistake. You were talking too much, telling him all about a land he hated, a land he wanted to steal from you. A land he would destroy along with all its people. There was no point in explaining to him all about what made Caledonia special if he was here to wreck your life.

“The cook?” He pressed and you simply nodded, remaining silent.

For ten minutes neither of you talked. Weirdly, the silence was not ever bothersome. You didn’t have the need to fill it, and neither did he.

Until he did.

“My stud’s name is Faun,” he muttered, resuming the dead conversation where you had left it.  The stallion’s ears perked up at the sound of his name. “They are half-human, half-goat creatures. They inhabit forests like this back home. Some say they instil fear in travelling men and drive them to madness, others say they can guide you to safety. Never encountered one myself either.”

You turned your head around to glance at him. His story was strangely similar to yours, just adapted to his own beliefs. How could two very different people share something so unique as your love for mythical creatures?

“They sound beautiful. And before you judge me for saying that… beauty is on the eye of the beholder,” you added with a mellow laugh. You found goats endearing.

Marcus’ serious expression softened. “Evil or not, I do think they are too.”

Your eyes locked for an eternal second and you wondered why there was an unfamiliar feeling sitting low in your belly.

A split second was all it took to make you snap out of whatever brief connection you suddenly felt.

You heard the whistling sound before you saw the arrow sticking out of Marcus’ left shoulder, in that unprotected spot where the shoulder pad met the breastplate. The arrow had flown just a few inches away from your ear.

Marcus’ eyes widened as reality settled in. Out of nowhere, three men emerged from the woods, face painted with soot—the whites of their eyes sparkled under the full moon.

The sudden movement scared off Kelpie, who harshly stirred around and started galloping towards the trees with no regard for her rider—you. You managed to hold on to the low branches of the trees, Kelpie slipping from between your thighs as the mare ran towards safety alone, leaving you hanging from a branch.

The clink of metal behind you forced you to let go of the branch, landing on your feet like a graceful cat. When you turned around, you saw that Marcus had dismounted Faun. His stud, at least, had not abandoned his rider to the mercy of his enemies the same way your mare had. Little traitorous horse.

“Get back!” Marcus shouted at you as he repositioned his body between you and the threat of the threesome.

But they were no threat to you, you were sure. They were here to kill him. The same way some fucking kids had tried to end him that very afternoon. Were people plain, thick gòrach (stupid)?

“People are growing restless,” Torcall had said to you yesterday. So much so they would endanger you too? Your cover? What were you supposed to do now?

If you helped them and Marcus survived, you would be dead before dawn, your cover blown.

If you helped them and Marcus died, Agricola would appoint a new man in Marcus’ stead. One that might not fit well into your plan. And you would be hunted down too.

If you helped him and they survived, they would go back to your folk and tell them all how you betrayed them, how you turned against them — how you protected the General.

If you helped him and they died… Your conscience would be tainted forever.

Or you could do nothing — let destiny run its course. The General deserved to die for what he had done to your family; it was actually only fair. But Marcus needed to be killed off at the right time — not sooner nor later. Just right, as a pig hung for slaughter on the first days of winter.

As the Romans would say, Alea iacta est (the dice is cast).

“Caileag fealltach (traitorous lass)!” One of the men screeched before leaping on you, sgian-dubh (small knife) on his left and a longer sword on his right hand.

The raucous sound of steel colliding sparked life back into you. Marcus’ gladius had curbed the attack. And with a thundering flourish of his sword, the edge of it hit the man’s side with deadly precision. The attacker crumbled to his knees, a fountain of blood varnishing the grass underneath.

“Mac na galla (son of a bitch), I’ll have your head for this!” The taller man cowed in Gàidhlig.

Marcus’ hand pushed you back — unbeknownst to you, you had taken a few steps forward, wanting to say something, anything to stop this madness.

Marcus and his opponent exchanged a few strident blows. Despite the General being substantially older than his adversary, his movements were more gracious, trained, measured, while the other man’s were sloppy and directionless. It was only a matter of minutes until one of them tired out, and your bet, regrettably, was on your clansman.

“What is a lass like you doing with a man like him? Are you his whore or what? Have you no shame, woman?” The recriminatory voice of the last man came to you in your mother tongue, albeit a slightly different accent.

He had swerved towards you while Marcus was distracted with the other man, too focused on the dance of swords. You were unarmed, this fight you would not win.

Your kinsman’s sword swayed in front of you, and you managed to jump back, avoiding the blade by a mere inch. Your eyes shot back to his, back slightly crouched, trying to predict his next movement.

A malicious smirk appeared on your opponent’s lips, as if he was enjoying himself.

“I’m going to send you to fucking Dubnos (Hell), so you can rot there with the low-lives you get involved with,” the threat was not veiled.

He lunged forward and you dropped to the floor — eyeing the dead man’s blood-soaked sgian-dubh, you grabbed it and held it close to your chest.

“I don’t think so. I don’t want to kill you, please,” you almost begged him between gritted teeth as you dragged yourself back a few feet, slowly getting up as Marcus’ fight unfolded fifteen yards away from where you stood.

A brief glance in his direction told you he was holding up alright, just as you knew he would. You had seen him in a sword fight before — your father had died because of it. Because of him.

“Kill me? You?” he laughed out loud. “You’re just a sad, little, useless woman. What do you think you can do to me? Bet the closest you have ever been to a knife is in a kitchen, where you fucking belong. There and warming up some man’s bed, but not his,” he barked back, almost looming over you.

What he just said struck you as odd. Did this man not know how many battles you had fought besides your father, your entire family, to protect your land, your clan?

You could not recognise him under all the soot, his hair tied back and covered in mud in a pretty good attempt at concealing his identity.

Before you could question him, he lunged forwards.

“Callie, no!” You heard Marcus’ call, a note of fear sullying his words.

An acute relief washed over him when the man in front of you fell to his knees, laying at your feet. A big, burgundy stain tarnished your blue dress around your belly area. A bloody knife was firm on your steady hand, your eyes devoid of emotion — had you done this before? Impossible, he thought to himself, she’s just a maid.

The relief just grew in his tight chest when your eyes locked with his. But what he saw in them caught him off guard — fear?

“Marcus!”

Then he felt it. The ripping of skin, the sinking of metal through flesh, then a few twists of the knife rearranging his guts for good measure — then warmth. Sticky, wet warmth soaking the woollen tunic underneath his armour.

“Die, bastard,” his attacker whispered in his ear, the words strangely clear to him.

Marcus’ eyes quickly drifted down to see one of those small knives the barbarians used, sunken down to its hilt on the left-hand side of his lower abdomen, right under his lorica. He didn’t feel the pain, not just yet — just rage.

He had disarmed his rival but blundered. He shouldn’t have, but the moment he realised you were no longer behind him, he frantically searched his surroundings to find you quite a few feet away from him, from his protection. He thought you dead when he saw you so close to that man, almost entrapped in an intimate embrace. Turned out, you could protect yourself alright.

His left fingers followed the red river dripping onto the ground, almost mesmerised by the sight of his own thick blood.

Snapping out of his trance and with shock still holding him upright, he effortlessly swung his sword — the other man eyeing him with fright, realising those were his last seconds on this worldly plane.

The head of the last man standing rolled off his shoulders and hit the ground with a sharp thud.

“No, Marcus, no! Don’t pull it out,” you whispered into his neck, your fingers wrapping around his on the hilt of the knife.

When did you bridge the distance? How were you so close? He hadn’t heard you. At all.

His mind went numb as more blood poured from his body, his speech slurred as his grasp on consciousness became looser by the minute.

“I need to—,” he mumbled, brows frowned and fingers tighter.

“No, you’ll bleed out. Please, listen to me. If you want to live, don’t fucking touch it,” your sweary prayer finally reached him, and he loosened up the grip on the knife. “Shite. Faun! Fucking shite, Faun! Come, boy, come!” He barely saw you waving down his horse — his sight going too.

Marcus fought to stay afloat, but the waves were relentless, bigger than him, pushing him down to the seabed. He was drowning.

“Can you— Fuck, Marcus, can you jump?”

He looked at you confused, then in front of him. Faun was standing right there, waiting for him to hop onto his back. His hand held on to the saddle but couldn’t bring himself up.

“Ad genua (to your knees), Faun,” he muttered in Latin, and the stallion knelt almost instantly.

“Thank the fucking gods he’s trained be…” Marcus didn’t hear the last of your sentence as he plummeted on top of Faun, the knife and arrow sinking further in his flesh.

If it wasn’t for his impending death, you would have been relieved when Marcus fainted.

“…trained better than my mother’s mare,” was how you ended your sentence. One that would have fucked your whole plan up. And your life too.

“Fuck, this is bad. Really bad,” you muttered to yourself frantically as you sat down on the saddle.

You pushed Marcus’ body up, making him sit upright facing you with his heavy, manly thighs over yours — your knees pressing hard around Faun’s back to keep your balance as the stud stood up. You cradled Marcus’ cheeks and lightly patted him.

“Marcus. Hey, wake up,” you whispered, uprooting no reaction from him whatsoever. “Fuck, I said wake up!” You slapped him harder this time, the sound ricocheting on the trees and the palm of your hand itchy — it shouldn’t given the circumstances, but smacking him felt damn good.

The General groaned but didn’t open his eyes. With your right forearm pressed against his chest, your fingers wrapped around the arrow on his left shoulder. With as much care as you could and trying not to wiggle the arrow, you snapped the shaft at the hafting with the help of your left hand.

Marcus did not complain, so he had to be really out of it right now. You let him lean forward with his sweaty forehead lodged in the crook of your neck — way too close for comfort. You detested his proximity, but your body had a mind of its own. His warm breath fanning your skin made your hair stand.

Not the fucking time.

“Focus, dammit,” you summoned all your strength.

You were closer to Naimh’s crannog than to the Inbhir Nis’ fortress. You did not know what other threats lied ahead and Marcus was in dire need of help — you could feel his blood dripping onto the saddle, staining Faun’s white coat. Naimh would have everything you required to patch him up and her hut was well hidden.

You looked in both directions, Faun patiently awaiting your command. You veered the reins to the left.

“Hyah, hyah!” You compelled the stallion with a subtle kick of your heels.

Faun darted forward, fast as a wildcat, and you wrapped your arm around Marcus’ waist to prevent him from falling sideways to the ground.

It only took you ten minutes to get to Naimh’s again. You reined Faun back and he came to a sudden stop just a couple of feet away from the door.

“Ad genua,” you said to the horse, remembering the General’s command, and Faun knelt.

By that point, Marcus’ mind was very far away. You threaded your arms under his and  dragged him all to the crannog. There was a red trickle all the way from the saddle to where you were now.

“Fuck,” with the heel of your foot, you kicked Naimh’s door. “Naimh, it’s me, open up!”

You heard the rustling of her feet as she sauntered towards the door, swinging it open. With your back towards her, you could not see her expression, but you bet on shock.

“Obh obh (oh dear), what’s happened? Are you hurt?” You could tell Naimh was extremely worried.

“I’m fine. Him… well, not so much. We’ve been attacked. I don’t know who sent those men, but they were out for blood,” you explained as you hauled him back inside.

Thank the gods you were strong enough to grab him by his shoulders and lay him down on Naimh’s bed.

“Did you recognise them?” She asked while searching for her healing kit — a basket with a sharp, small knife, some eyed needles made of bone, wool thread and a few different species of fresh plants and herbs.

“No, I didn’t. They covered their faces in soot and their hair with mud, I could barely tell they were human,” you omitted the fact that you had to stab one of them to death to keep your cover intact and also to save yourself. Naimh was a healer, she would not understand having to take someone else’s life voluntarily.

You, on the other hand, were used to it.

Your hands worked faster than your brain — you grabbed the knife and cut Marcus’ tunic, from the edge of the skirt to his hip, so you would have better access to the wound on his lower abdomen. That was the one which was profusely bleeding, while the arrowhead seemed to block the wound enough so it wouldn’t bleed too.

You focused your eyes on the wound and not on his almost-exposed lap. You had a job to do if you wanted him to survive this. Not wanted really, you needed him to survive for now, so he could die at the right time.

You pressed the injury with your left hand, the protruding blade lodged between your middle and index fingers, and then pulled curtly from the hilt of the sgian-dubh.

Marcus’ eyes flew wide open, a restrained groan ripping his throat. His hand tightly wrapped around your wrist, his arched back slightly off the straw cushion. His orbs were wild with pain — the veins on his neck chiselled on his skin, so pronounced you thought they would explode. You kept the pressure on the wound while pushing him back down onto the bed.

“It’s okay. Relax, I’ve got you,” you tried to calm him down. His big, brown eyes studied you, considering if he should trust you with his life. His fingers were so solidly wrapped around your wrist, you were sure he was restricting your bloodflow. “You have no other option. It’s me or whatever god of the dead you praise,” you muttered, holding his gaze.

With a painful grunt, he let go of your wrist and settled back down. His jaw was so clenched, you were almost worried he would break a tooth.

“Naimh, bring me a stick of wood or something for him to chew on while I stitch him up. And some wine,” you asked of the old woman.

Soon enough you had everything you needed. You offered the woodstick to Marcus, who quickly understood what it was for and opened his mouth. You placed it between his teeth and he bit down on it.

You quickly removed the heel of your hand from the seeping gash and poured wine over it to disinfect it. Marcus hissed in pain, muffled by the stick he was chewing. You patted the area with a rag to clean it and then extended your hand towards Naimh, palm up. She had already threaded the eyed needle.

“This is going to hurt,” you warned him before piercing the first layer of skin.

You focused on the task at hand, blocking out any distractions. The needle was not the sharpest, so you had to really puncture the skin to get it through to the other side — you were sure that Marcus hated every bone of yours every time the blunt tip of the needle stroked his skin.

The wound was very deep, probably too deep for sutures, but you had no other alternative. His attacker had really intended on gutting him like a cow — the skin was ripped around the edges, as if the man had twisted the blade several times once it had already sunk in Marcus’ flesh.

By the time you were done, it still looked gnarly, but at least it wasn’t bleeding so much now. You had been so absorbed in your doing, you had not realised that Marcus had fainted again — probably a combination of blood loss and pain had sent him straight to Aengus’ embrace, God of Dreams.

You knew he was completely unconscious when you pulled the arrow out of his shoulder and followed the same procedure with not a single complaint from him. The starred scar would heal better than the butchering on his tummy. You were no expert, but at least you gave him a fighting chance.

“Naimh, could you prepare one of your concoctions, please? We need to cover the wounds and aid the healing process. Otherwise it’s going to become infected,” you asked while packing away the stuff you had used off her basket.

You saw her shuffling some shelves in search of specific ingredients and let her do her job. After putting away the basket, you walked back to the bed Marcus was splayed on.

What a fucking sight.

The lorica still covered his torso, but you had removed the shoulder plates to have better access to the arrow. The tunic underneath the cuirass that hung from his waist down was ripped apart — you had to so you could patch him up. Just a few inches away, you knew, was the core of his manhood.

You wondered… Better not to dwell there for long.

Then there were his hairy, thick thighs, and a pair of leather sandals plaited around his muscular calves. The man’s anatomy spoke of power, vigour, strength.

Most of his visible skin, along with the tunic and armour, was stained in dry, scarlet blood. The picture in front of you, although suggestive, was gruesome, bordering on sadistic. So, you definitely should not feel the way you did — curious, too curious.

“Here,” Naimh’s offering brought you back. “Apply this to the wounds, should keep any festering at bay.”

“Tapadh leibh a Naimh (thank you),” you thanked her, taking the mortar from her hands.

The mixture looked gooey and greenish — pretty regular, considering there was a ton of aloe vera in it.

“Do you want me to send word to the castle, mo bana-phrionnsa (my princess)?”, she offered, placing a little, fragile hand on your shoulder.

“Aye, if you don’t mind,�� a brief pause to jog your memory. “Make sure it reaches Maximus, and Maximus only,” you added.

That commander seemed to be the closest thing to a friend Marcus had here. You had seen them on the dais, exchanging whispers and jests in a brotherly manner. Surely he would be someone Marcus would trust with his life.

“Na gabh dragh, measag (don’t worry, dear). You know my will-o'-wisps only reach those who I command them to,” her voice lowered, a sweet grin painted on her wrinkling face before vanishing through the door.

You knew Naimh came from a long bloodline of druids and sorceresses — she could be found attending to the coirtheachan (standing stones), ensuring they were clean with oblations left at their feet, speaking to animals and trees, or lighting fires with the mere snap of her fingers. Once, as a child, you saw how a wave of her hand over the flames made some sparks flicker away from the bonfire and dance through the air until they disappeared between some trees. The first wisps you had ever seen.

So when Naimh spoke of her will-o’-wisps, you did not question her one bit. You were one hundred percent sure that the message would get to Maximus in record time.

Your attention drifted back to the unconscious man on the bed. You needed to do something about the deplorable state he was in.

His eyelids were so heavy, his mind so foggy, Marcus was not able to open them just yet. Coming back to his senses would take all the strength he had left and that wasn’t much. His limbs felt weighty yet jelly-like too. How damn boorish of him if this was how he greeted death, unable to even shake hands with the Parcae (Fates).

A lifetime of bloodshed and war, and this was how his life would end, away from a real battlefield. What a shame.

His mind kept wandering and almost didn’t register a soft, velvety feeling on his right shin. It was warm and light, and it came and went like a gush of wind. That feeling, that touch, expanded to his thigh, his hip, his tummy, his chest. It was everywhere, right there on the confines on his imagination and on his damn skin.

Weird what the mind would come up with when on its last legs.

Slowly he drifted away again, and when Marcus came back to once more, he wasn’t sure how long it had been. Minutes. Hours. Days?

This time though, his senses flared alive. One more than the others — the sense of touch. The previous warmth, dry before, now was wet. It dripped and dripped, creating a river that ran down his thigh.

The heaviness that had him in a chokehold had softened, and so was able to move one hand, inspecting what that liquid warmth was. Blood?

“Don’t touch,” a firm yet soothing voice warned him.

Something wrapped around his wrist and placed his hand back down on the ground. No, not on the ground… on a bed?

After several attempts, Marcus managed to flutter his eyes open. White vision first, he blinked until the fog dissipated. And then he saw you there, sat by his side — inquiring, green eyes staring him down.

He held your gaze for what seemed like an eternity, while the memories flooded back. The arrow, the attackers, the sword fight, you stabbing that man to his death, the knife deeply lodged in his abdomen. The stitching, the painful stitching.

His eyes drifted down and only then did he realise that he was completely naked. Not even a thin piece of fabric covering him, no — absolutely, fucking nothing. Bare as the day he was fucking born.

Marcus’ eyes quickly shot to yours, his heart pounding wildly, as you held a damp rag on your hand.

“What the—,” he started to complain, his throat dry and coarse.

“No need to panic. I’m just washing the blood off you,” you explained matter-of-factly, unabashed even.

“My armour, my clothes…” was the only thing he managed to mutter.

“Your armour is now clean, and your clothes are drying over there in front of the hearth. I’ve washed them for you. You’re welcome,” you replied sneeringly, rolling your eyes, as you resumed what you were doing prior to being interrupted by his questioning.

You placed the rag back down on his inner thigh and rubbed, the dried blood coming off his skin albeit with some difficulty. Too fucking close to… Fuck, I rather fucking die. He stopped your hand again, teeth gritting.

“I can do this myself,” Marcus protested.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You think I’ve not seen a naked man before? I’m a widow, Marcus. You don’t have anything I have not seen before,” and then you scrubbed his skin some more, moving upwards and stopping just inches shy of his groin.

Marcus held his breath and closed his eyes, summoning all the self-control he could muster. He really had to focus to reign the most primal reaction a man could have when a woman was touching him. He pinched the bridge of his aquiline nose, jaw clenched, as he started counting backwards from one hundred.

The General needed a distraction — if he thought about your hand so damn close to his cock, he would fucking lose it. Would throw you onto that uncomfortable mattress and would fuck some sense into you for playing with fire. Teach you a lesson or two. Maybe three.

As soon as that thought formed, he had to put it out quickly. One would think that a near-death experience would knock some sense into him, but apparently not. He was a damned man.

Your hand moved around his lap languidly, expertly avoiding his not-so-soft-now dick, and focused on rubbing some blood off his lower abdomen. Then the damp rag moved further south, and his heart climbed up to this throat.

His eyes snapped back open, looking for yours, while his fingers gripped your wrist again.

“Is there no blood anywhere else?” his voice sounded strangled, begging almost, letting go of your hand.

“Nay, I’ve already cleaned the rest of your body. I was saving the best for last, Marcus,” you whispered at the same time the rag dragged along the length of his cock.

Then the palm of your hand flattened against his impending erection, the rag forsaken on his thigh now. The little blood he had left in his veins rushed south the moment your delicate fingers wrapped around the girth of his now-throbbing cock.

You just held him there with a tight grip, eyes never leaving his in defiance. Something sinister flicked in the green of your eyes — something mischievous, lustful even, but something really dark too. Your lips were slightly parted with an intransigent smile.

“How’re you feeling? Any pain?” You dared to ask, as if you weren’t the source of his pain.

Because the only real pain he felt was all gathered on his thudding dick. Feeling his agony, you stroked him once, twice… until you were pumping him decisively, shamelessly. Your thumb caressed his glans, buttering it with his own precum.

A moan tore through Marcus’ chest, rumbling — eyes closed, letting himself rejoice in the moment. Your fingers tight around his thick shaft, putting the right amount of pressure, sent him into oblivion. His erection just became harder and harder, steely as his gladius, under your diligent care.

Marcus felt the tension building up, his balls contracting with equal parts of pain and pleasure. His erection beat rhythmically with his heart — your strokes a blessing in disguise, sent to him to release the pressure building up at the bottom of his spine. You were working him so well, so dextrously, so deliciously, he didn’t know how much longer would he last.

“I wonder if it is as tasty as it looks…” you whispered in his ear as you crouched down a little, your lips grazing his skin.

The mere image of your mouth sealed around his manhood wrecked him. So fucking much, he was close to coming just with one single fucking handjob.

And then the door swung open, making both of you jump on the spot. You quickly removed your hand from his lap and Marcus almost died at the realisation that he would not find relief tonight.

As you turned around on your seat to face the door, you threw a blanket over his lap to disguise what had really been happening.

“Naimh is back,” you exclaimed giddily to him, standing up to greet her in your language.

Fuck Naimh. Kick her out, come back.

@orcasoul @immyowndefender @sjc7542 @fairiebabey

@thepalaceofmelanie @harriedandharassed @whoaitspascal87 @mewantpeepaw

@verybigvag @jessthebaker @ivoryandflame @missadangel @pepperstories

[sweet-as-an-angel]

Hello there! I've been a fan of your work for a while now and let me just say, your original works and characters have me absolutely captivated! (Your yandere outlaw is one of my top favorite fictional characters! And your yandere cult leader is rapidly rising in the ranks 👀) You put so much detail into all your writing and you really delve deep into the psychology and personality of every one of them so beautifully, not to mention how diverse they all are from one another. Each and every one has such dimension and they're so believable in their actions and reactions! (And can I just say I think it's very clever that your yandere!Milf/Dilf's names start with the acronym's initial)

And your MCs are also quite vibrant and while they remain easily relatable they still have distinct traits that the characters get attached to. Thank you for making and sharing these amazing stories and characters with us, it really makes my day whenever I see you've posted something new.

Now, I know this ask is getting pretty lengthy (sorry about that ^^" I tend to ramble) but I was going through your Yan!Dilf works again and I wanted to ask, how would Dominic react if his darling was someone who's maybe dealt with manipulative people in the past or is highly emotionally intelligent and observant who could tell he wasn't being entirely genuine? But instead of pulling away from him they try to understand what he wants from them and was open about it? Would he ever even become obsessed with someone like that or allow that kind of situation to happen or is he too cautious for it to be possible?

I know you've had a lot of asks so please don't feel obligated to answer this! But in any case thank you again for sharing your works and I hope you have a wonderful wonderful day! 💖💫

My Lovely, you have positively touched my soul with your endearing sentiments ! Truly, you have made my day and I cannot thank you enough for being such a loyal enthusiast of my work, your time is valued more than I can ever hope to express <3.

Your question is an incredibly fascinating one, my Dear; thank you for sharing it with us ! I wish you the happiest and most prosperous of days, Sweetie ^^

TW: Manipulation, Dominic Being Dominic, Vulnerability, No Pronouns Used For Reader Except 'You'.

♡ Dominic is, as you suggested, initially extremely cautious around you. However, he knows he can't just drop you like a sack of potatoes; it would be far too obvious to the people around him, which would surely cause others to find him out as the serpent he is if they ever went digging around his character.

♡ But, when you show him, gradually, like a keeper feeding a feral animal, that your endeavour is not to oust him as an un-human but rather to understand what made him like this in the first place (and all the lace and frills that come with such a monumental task), he regards you...differently than he did before.

♡ Sure, he thought you were very attractive and that you could offer him something other than the resplendence his life is steeped in, but now...

♡ He feels exposed. Seen. Vulnerable.

♡ All things he tries to push back against. Things he tries to bury beneath a grandiose tale of a childhood spent in the most accommodating of educational establishments, lavish mansions and the lap of luxury.

♡ He tries to lead you a merry dance down a version of his life that he wants you to see, rebuttaling your attempts at making him crack.

♡ You tell him you can see past that. He, feeling his eye twitch, believes you.

♡ It will take a long, long time to get Dominic even close to admitting a scintilla of how his psyche works. Or, rather, doesn't work.

♡ And it's only if you manage to grind away at his need to hide his most precious secret - the parasite that wears his skin and controls his mind - that he'll open up.

♡ Fractionally. Piecemeal. But he opens up, nonetheless.

♡ He'll grow to love you in ways unfathomable even to him.

♡ If you thought he was bad without having a background in combatting the manipulation of others, he is insidious now.

♡ You become to him what he could never be for himself; a safe haven. The only person from which he does not hide.

♡ Sure, he keeps the more...dangerous aspects of his personality hidden for a lot longer than others, but you can topple these columns, can shake Dominic from his perch forged from the ivory of a devil's horns.

♡ You can tame him in ways unimaginable. You have only to see him for who - what - he truly is.

Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously and it is greatly appreciated :-)

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[themonotonysyndrome]

hello, lovely lady!

i truly hope you’re doing well, and im sure you know this, but your work is much appreciated, but please please take care of yourself!

with that being said, even though i’ve seen previous head-cannons, do you think it would be possible if we sort of got an updated head-cannon of how Cecila and Castin will parent their children when they’ve reacher their teen years? just curious. 🙃

please don’t feel obligated to indulge me or do such, and as always have a fantastic day/evening.

💖🤍

It's the awesome addie! Hello, hello!

I'm okay—well, as alright as I can be. I'm very happy that you enjoyed my writing, and that's enough to make me feel so much better!

Ah... teenagehood. I was a pretty chill teenager—moody but pretty tamed. I was more into writing than doing sports, lol. But let's check out what Celica and Castin are like as parents raising their teenage twins!

Headcanons where Dain & Deirdre are teenagers & how Castin and Celica raise them:

This may come across as surprising, but it's Castin's that's gonna be a low-key helicopter parents 😂

Castin is very invested in Dain & Deirdre's life. What's the tea at school? Any dramas between friends? Any crushes? 👀 Any new hobbies?

While Celica is also interested in their children's daily lives, she only asks how they fare in their studies and if they've been keeping up with their etiquette training, which their governess would report to her directly. Unfortunately, after giving birth, the Baroness is busier than ever.

This isn't to say that Castin is also not busy with his patrols and hunting down any signs of rebels, but unlike Celica, who's actually at home, he would keep in touch with the twins via letters and calls even when he's on the other end of Intacia.

Castin habitually announces ridiculous rules for the twins during dinners every other week! EX: "Neither of y'all are allowed to talk more than 100 words to your crushes." And the next week would be "Don't spar with the opposite gender! Oh, wait - " Yeah, the twins learned to just ignore the rules, lol.

As for Celica, though? She has only one rule for the twins: "Do not tarnish the Anesidora name." Now, this might seem cold, and while the twins absolutely hate it, believing that their own mother is more concerned about their family's reputation than her own damn kids that she nearly died giving birth for, Celica's rule is actually a test to see if the twins are good at deception and finding loopholes on doing any anything that she doesn't like behind her back. Because if they can pull it off? That means they're on the way to inherit her position, and that's what Celica has been waiting for.

Now! Teenage rebellions!

"Don't worry, baby. Big Daddy Caddy is on it! He knows a thing or two about stopping rebellions!"

"Please do not tackle our children to the ground as if they are criminal."

"Pfft - I won't, I won't!"

Each of the twins acts out in different manner but most often, their attitudes are directed at their mother. Dain's acts of rebellion are more... subtle. Avoiding eye contact when Celica is talking to him, refusing to smile in her presence, purposely scrapping his cutleries onto the plates when eating, creating an ear-piercing sound and etc. Deirdre is a lot more of an outburst. She would skip lessons, walk away in a middle of the conversation, and getting in a shouting match with Celica because all she cares about is asking about their progress, not how they really are.

Of course this isn't true as Celica is only thinking about their future and of course, every time her children lash out at her, she feels hurt but then she would react in ways that was ingrained to her since childhood - stoic face, silent and retreat to her office for several days.

Those are the moments where Castin had to mediate between them and always remind their twins to be patient with their Mum and try to think about things in her perspective. The only reason they could act freely as teenagers and not would-be politician or hell, even consuming poison are because the Baroness constantly serve as a 'shield' for the twins in high society.

Every mistakes they made in public, every blunder they offend a household would immediately smooth out by the Baroness.

That's her form of love. Castin knows this after being married to her for so many years but the twins don't understand that.

She's hard on them because the world was cruel to her growing up. She's awkward in showing affections because her Ezekiel, Eaton and Tristan keeps her at arms-length due to their status.

She's a damn good Baroness and she hopes that in time, she'll be a worthy mother to Dain and Deirdre.

[blacksapphhicmaddonna]

CHAPTER ONE - WHAT I HAVE TO DO.

a/n: hey y'all! so, I tried to post this in response to the anon who asked for a snippet but I saved it as a draft and Tumblr ate it😭 SO THIS IS DEDICATED TO YOU, ANON, WHOEVER YOU ARE!! sorry babes!💔💖💖💖💖

its been a minute since I've written anything fully, this was fun!!! as always, please ignore any grammar/syntax/spelling. I proof read it but you feel me. I'm super excited to be writing something so long and multi chaptered and definitely out of my comfort zone! am I an action girly now? LMFAO but anyway, I'm super open to any feedback and 👀 as always, if you wanna see sum, say sum.

anyway, I love my science gays and I will stan shuriri forever. this is pretty much all angst at this point❤️‍🩹, but I truly hope you enjoy LMFAOOO. lmk how you feel.💗 (and yes, I love a good flashback real bad and ima do it every time if I can. not too much on me LMFAO)

✮ taglist: @mybonafidefeelings@zeezeecave@gr00vyminibus@lppriceisright@darkangelchronicles@princessmel-1995@xenaizogie@nanii2x, and tagging a few folks that enjoyed the sneak peak and a few shuriri/shuri/riri folks who might! @karimwillia @inmyheadimobsessed@mal-urameshi@somethingcleaverandwhitty@imjusthere2readbruv@imagineandwrite there's more but my computer glitching so we gonna get this show on the road! lmk if you'd like to join the taglist or check the link in my tagged post! love y'all, muah

✮ word count: 11,193

✮ panther divider: @firefly-graphics

✮ some of the xhosa translations are from @iinkonde! here's where you can find some of their amazing resources: 1 2 3

Shuri paced the room that seemed to be growing smaller by the millisecond around her, searching for something - anything - inside of the brain most people considered the smartest in the universe to offer the scientist in front of her. She found nothing but the desperation she had been pushing down since the moment they met.

A desperation that mirrored the effects of the herb she had reproduced, also made from the desperation to save something that she felt was slipping through her fingers at the time. Just like the herb had found its way through her body when she first took it, this feeling spread from her throat as she choked when their eyes met as she pushed herself into the dorm room she was once again standing in. Down to her chest, pulling heart strings she didn’t know she had. Plucking them in a rhythm that felt intrinsic, ancestral, almost painful in the way that they made everything feel superimposed. She resisted, but she felt her toes and she felt her finger tips and she felt the curls framing her face dance above her eyes ever so gently. It spread through every atom that comprised the panther and she could barely breathe. She felt everything and she felt nothing, like she was sinking in an ocean of clouds. She could barely look at the woman who was staring back at her with a look of confusion, and an equal desperation that she couldn't explain.

Shuri still had nothing to offer in terms of speech. She paced at a speed that had only just registered as super fucking fast, clearly adding to the concern building in Riri's eyes.

"Shuri-" Riri started, but couldn't even try to finish as her voice had triggered the awaiting and building eruption in Shuri that it always did. Riri, if she did anything to Shuri, she made her feel things she wasn't used to feeling.

"Anything you want, just name it. It's yours. I'll make it happen. I'll build it myself. Just please don't do this. Please." Shuri froze in her place, finding herself begging for something she couldn't explain. She knew she was almost yelling at the other woman, which she would never do but she couldn't find the part of her that could compose herself. She was thankful for the kimoyo beads she had scattered in the room when she entered, enabling a silencing mode and cutting through anything that the government had tapped in Riri's room.

Riri froze too, only moving to fumble with her fingers nervously. She didn't have anything to offer the panther, the queen standing in front of her. She didn't have anything to comfort her friend. The woman she loved more than she could explain. More than almost anything. 

"I don't... I don't want anything from you, Shuri... We both knew this day was coming. You had to have thought about it. I thought you were.. I don’t know... It almost felt like-"

"Please, Ri. Please. Just find something and I'll do it. I'll make it myself if I have to. Please just find something else."

"I don't want... I don't understand, Shuri. We only talked about this like twice, I didn't even think you cared that much or even had time to care about it... or me, really. Just... lets just sit down for a second." Riri tried to redirect, trying to give herself time to figure out what was going on. She felt her mind trying to run back through memories and conversations the two had shared in the past year and some change, but it was few and far between that they ever really had time to talk about their lives in depth lately. At first, they talked a lot after they had finally reconnected. They had even spent a few nights together. But lately, Shuri had been working a lot and it seemed like their connection was running dry. Riri had shared her plans a few months ago and hadn't really heard much back from the woman standing in front of her looking like she was fighting a battle she wasn't sure she'd win. Riri had committed herself to this, to showing up and doing what she felt she needed to do to make up for all the ruin she had caused - or at least what she thinks she caused. And now Shuri was trying to offer her a chance out of it. She didn't know what to do or what to think. That's something she felt often with the panther, she figured out. She had zoned out for only a split second before Shuri was grabbing her wrists and looking in her eyes.

"Riri, I'm begging you." Shuri stared into the Iron Heart's eyes, searching for something she knew she was missing. Something she needed the way she needed air, she felt. Riri searched back, trying to decipher something Shuri wasn't ready to let her see.

"Shuri, you know I feel responsible... But, I just.. I don't understand what's going on. What's wrong? Please just talk to me. It's okay." Riri tried to pull them closer, tried to grab the Panther's hand but her grip was too tight around her wrists. Shuri relaxed it, she hadn't intentionally been holding on so tight but she wasn't ready to let go. She's never been ready to let go of who she loves. She saw that same resolute look in Riri's eyes that was always there when she was sure about something. It broke something in Shuri that she knew she couldn't mend on her own. One final try, she told herself.

"I will give you anything under the sun. Please just don't go to them. Don’t go to him. I- I know you're trying to help and change things for the better, and you will. But not like this. Not until it's safe. He will find you, Riri. He will do anything to get to you and to get back at me. You know this and you still choose to go? You don’t have to make this easy for him. We can figure this out a different way. Please. I will give you access to all the technology Wakanda has to offer, just please find something else to focus on, to take place of this. Please."

Riri tried to pull her closer again but the panther moved back, sending a shiver of rejection up Riri's spine.

"I don't want anything from you, Shuri... I just want you. I- I mean I just want you to-"

Shuri felt her body getting hot and somehow freezing at the same time. Riri just wanted her? But she also wanted to go on this suicide mission, which is what it was regardless of what Riri thought of it. She fought back the defensiveness she felt crawling up her throat like it always did when she was hurt. She didn't want to lash out on Riri, she only wanted to protect her. She only wanted her to be safe, alive. She only wanted her. But it was to no avail. She felt the ferocious beast pull itself through her. She scorned herself as her words burned their way through her skin, landing on Riri's.

"You just want whatever you want. You just want to fight whatever moral war you have going on because you're the one who survived! You would give up your life for what? For who? Not for my mother! Not for me!"

Riri hadn't noticed the tears stinging down her cheeks until she saw the ones pouring out of Shuri's. It was something she had never seen before. She had seen Shuri lash out, though. She knew this was just the first wall of defense the panther had when she felt hurt, afraid, abandoned. She couldn't take this personally, though she had to fight back the sting of the words as they came at her. She reached out to try and touch the woman in front of her.

"Shuri, please. Let's just ta-"

"What?! Sit and talk? For what? For you to tell me again why you have to do this, why you have to go and die? Do you care so little for me? For yourself?"

"You know that's not true!"

"Why wouldn't it be true?! Ungayenza njani le nto kum!?"

"Please just listen to me! I don't know what's going on but we can talk about it! I'm right here, I'm right here!"

"But you won't be after this! You don't have to do this! Just let me try, let me show you that there's other things to give you purpose, there’s other ways we can handle this! PLEASE!" Shuri felt herself starting to cave in, her chest becoming a cavern filled with the screams of the orphaned girl inside of her. The girl who needed her family. The girl who couldn't save her brother. The girl who was held back from her mother as she drowned. The woman who loves women, specifically the woman in front of her who was planning to give herself up. She couldn't keep it together. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't think.

"That's not for you to decide, Shuri!" Riri shot back, starting to feel the same layer of armor pull itself over her. She didn't like being yelled at. It triggered something in her that she herself had pushed back as far as it would go. She just needed to get Shuri to listen to her.

"I don't care! You can't do this Riri!"

"Please stop yelling at me!" Riri gave in, covering her ears and turning her back to the panther, who felt herself go still. She hadn't meant to unleash this part of herself. She felt embarrassment mixing with her desperation, afraid she had only made things worse. Who was she to be trying to control the actions of a woman she only met a little over a year ago? Who she was just friends with, and barely that if you based it off what normal friendships looked like. They rarely even spoke for longer than a few minutes every couple days and that wasn’t even true anymore. Shuri scorned herself for the time she hadn’t spent with her, for the time she had been forced to spend trying to fix, defend or save her country. She resented her royal blood now more than ever, wishing she could be nothing more than a girl again. Maybe a student. Maybe just different. Shuri felt herself starting to crack, she felt like she would disintegrate if she stood there any longer. She had done enough damage. She and Wakanda and the Talokan had put Riri through enough and she knew that. She could see why Riri would think this guilt was hers to bare but Shuri knew better, knew more secrets. She knew that her father and his father and so on hadn’t handled things right, and no matter the good T’Challa had tried to do - maybe he didn’t do it right either. So now it laid in her hands, forced once again to stand in the way of something she wasn’t ready for. She felt bad for herself, but she felt worse for Riri. She wishes she had never sent her home with the beads, that they had never touched hands, that they had never even met. Maybe if no one ever knew about Vibranium, no one would be trying to take it. Or maybe if the world had always known, if her ancestors had done things differently, this wouldn’t be Riri’s life. She was part of the lost tribe, as N’Jadaka would call it. Maybe he was right. She didn’t know what to think, but she also knew who she was, herself. She was the most powerful person on the surface world and she was the Queen of the most powerful nation in the world. And she was in love, helplessly, with Riri Williams. She would not let her go again.

"I am sorry for coming here and making you upset." Shuri said blankly, masking any emotions she had just shattered into the room as best as she could to regain any self control she had left.

Riri turned around, tears still swelling in her eyes. She hiccuped and it made Shuri's heart pound.

"I-it's okay. I just don't like b-being yelled at. Can we just sit and talk?"

Shuri nodded, knowing Riri needed a minute. Riri turned to grab a blanket off her bed to wrap herself in as she took a seat on the floor in front of her bed. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths before motioning to Shuri to sit next to her. Shuri stared at her for a moment too long, before kneeling down next to her. They sat in silence that wasn't comfortable for the first time in a long time. Neither missed this feeling, the feeling of such uncertainty between them. Sure, it was always there, biting at the backs of their minds and hearts. But they had both worked hard to be comfortable with just having what they had. But now more than ever, neither was sure what was really going on. Shuri mirrored Riri, taking a few deep breaths. Riri felt herself relax, misreading the quiet sigh Shuri let out.

"Are we okay? I don't want us to fight. I just... need you to help me understand why you're so upset. It didn't seem like you even really cared about this. I know you've been busy with what you have going on so I just figured this... I.. wasn't really on your radar anymore."

Shuri stayed silent, fighting that feeling nudging her.

"Please say something." Riri pleaded quietly after a few too many more moments of silence. She couldn't stand it. Neither could Shuri. She needed to escape. Get out of the room, out of America. She needed to run and scream and break something. She needed to kill Namor. That was her only option, once again. She knew it would come. She knew the fate of her country would be in the air again, and part of her knew she shouldn’t do it. Equal parts yes and no. Blood on either hand, regardless of what choice she made. But she also knew that Riri's life was once again in question and there was only one answer Shuri would accept. She would deal with the aftermath the same way she had been. She would accept whatever came. She knew she wasn't thinking clearly, that maybe she would be exiled or worse, but she also knew she couldn't live with herself if Riri wasn't alive tomorrow, and that was enough for her right now. If Riri wouldn't listen, then there was only one choice.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you, Riri. It won't ever happen again."

Riri was startled at the sincerity in the Panther's voice. She was confused why that was what Shuri felt she had to focus on in the midst of whatever the hell was going on.

"It's okay, I promise. I'm not mad at you for yelling at me. I'm just confused..."

"It's not okay. This, whatever you're planning, whatever he's planning... None of this is okay." Shuri said, pinching between her eyes as she tried to swallow the same beast from just a few minutes ago.

"Shuri... it's not like before. It's not about him. It's not even just about what happened in Wakanda. You know I'm Iron Heart. You knew I was going to start doing these things at some point. Missions that weren’t just flying around Chicago and Boston stopping robberies. And you know that something has to be done. And I can’t let this go on again when we all know it’s my fault.” Riri sighed. “We all know it is. So, please just try to hear me..."

"I have always heard you, Riri."

Riri digested that sentence with a gulp. She replied after a moment.

"Then let me hear you, for once. Tell me why you're here. Tell me why you're reacting like this. Tell me who you are and what you're feeling. Let me in, Shuri." She said, reaching out to grab Shuri's hand again. The Panther's hand was hot, almost burning. She didn't pull away this time.

"I'm here because I lo-.. Because I won't let this happen." Shuri caught herself before she said something she couldn't explain. Riri looked into Shuri's eyes with a pleading, less sure look. Shuri couldn't hold it this time. She couldn't freeze. She couldn't tell Riri. She reminded herself what happens every time she loves someone. She reminded herself of what she was capable of and what needed to be done. Regardless if Riri ever shared her feelings or not, she would swear her life to protecting the woman until the day she met the ancestors and maybe after if she could. She would do whatever it took, every time, no matter what, she resigned to herself. She squeezed Riri's hand.

"What're you gonna do? Lock me in my room, Shuri? I don't get what's going on!" Riri pleaded.

"I would never. You are not a prisoner or someone I want to control. You are free to do as you please, just as I am. Please understand that much."

"What does that mean... Wait, please don't go!" Riri tugged back at Shuri's hand again as the Panther got up to leave. Shuri looked down at their hands touching, taking in every second that their skin touched. She remembered what it felt like to reconnect after a long time apart. She wishes she could live in it like she had before. She brought their foreheads together and closed her eyes.

"I will protect you with every part of me. The cost will never be too much."

"Shuri, please don't do what I think you're about to do..." Riri pulled Shuri's hands into hers and brought them to the sides of their faces. They were so close they could feel each other's breath on their lips. Riri prayed in her head that Shuri would listen to her, knowing the strength and power the woman in front of her wielded. Shuri choked out a pained laugh before kissing Riri's forehead and pulling away, taking in the scent of Ghanian Shea Butter and the sweet scent Riri always had.

"Andizukuphulukana nawe. Impilo yami ngeke ibe lutho ngaphandle kwakho, Riri Williams."

Before Riri could open her eyes, the Black Panther was gone, the sound of a closing door shaking Riri to her core. She felt like she was in shock, having nothing to do but curl into a ball and pull the blanket around her body, covering her face as she let the rest of the tears fall silently. She laid there for what felt like an eternity until she heard a familiar voice call out to her.

"Miss Williams?" Riri jumped up, running around her room tracking down the voice. She picked up a purple and black kimoyo bead and held it up, suddenly seeing several others connect like magnets from across the other corners of the room.

"Griot?!" Riri both yelled and whispered.

"Hello, Miss Williams. Are you feeling alright?" Griot asked as the AI began taking a scan of her body to check her vitals.

"I've been better... what's going on? Why are you here? Not that it's not nice to... well you get what I mean!"

"It seems you have suffered a panic attack of sorts. Please get some water and take a seat before I proceed."

Riri rolled her eyes with a tired huff, giving in because she knew Griot wouldn't budge until she obliged. She grabbed a half empty bottle of water from her desk and sat back down near her bed, pulling the blanket up around her. She suddenly felt the absence of Shuri in her space and fought back the tears threatening to make way through her as she pulled the bracelet on, watching it activate. She had felt this way before, but it was different now.

"Feeling better, Miss Williams?"

"Just Riri is fine, and I guess. Can you explain what's going on now, please Griot?"

"Yes, Miss Riri." Griot replied as a hologram of Stark Tech floated in front of the scientist. She felt even more confused.

"Why are you showing me Stark Tech?"

"The panther has created and assigned your own AI for you, it's name is VIV. It is nearly identical to the JARVIS, or Vision, that Tony Stark had. It has been being developed for over a year, and seems to have just finished."

"What the fu-"

"The Panther also has an updated version of your vibranium Iron Heart suit on it's way to your lab location, or garage currently. She has given you access to me as well, with some restrictions. She has instructed me to inform you of this when the AI download is complete."

Riri sat in even more shock than she was in before. She was even more confused about Shuri's intentions now. More confused about her feelings, than anything. She replayed the words the panther had said to her before she left, she knew some Xhosa but it wasn’t great. 

"Can you translate what Shuri said to me in Xhosa before she left, Griot?" Riri asked, hoping for some clarity. Griot calculated for a moment, before answering.

"It would seem I am not permitted to complete that task at this time, Miss Riri."

Riri felt a pang of frustration rise in her, as she let out a laugh.

"Of course not... Can you tell me where the panther is right now?"

Griot took a moment again before answering.

"The Queen was on her way back towards Wakanda as of her last status, but it would seem she has powered off her location devices. Would you like me to contact her for you?"

Riri sat for a moment, considering her options and her own feelings.

"No, that's alright Griot. We're going to my lab. Can you help me boot up VIV when we get there? We're going on a trip."

"As you wish, Miss Riri."

Riri stood up, grabbing a hoodie and sliding on some J's. Before she walked out the door, she slid on the kimoyo beads and asked a final question.

"Oh, one last thing Griot. Can you turn on privacy mode? I would like my location hidden from everyone, including the Panther. Can you do that?"

"It seems I can, but I would not advise that action Miss Riri. There are safety protocols in place that the Panther can activate for you remotely."

"That's fine, just turn it on. I have my own safety protocols."

"As you wish, Miss Riri."

"Thank you, Griot."

Riri made her way to her garage in no time, paying no mind to the world around her or the messages on her phone from MJ about their project. When she got there, she did decide to shoot her a quick text explaining that she was heading home to Chicago for a family emergency, that MJ could find her portion already done on a small drive in her room and that she had permission to break in, and that she would make it up to her later. MJ did reply, but Riri didn’t have time for that. She got to work, with the help of Griot, or the portion of him that she was allowed to operate, and booted up her own AI and implemented it into her nano suit. The one from wakanda was on its way but wouldn’t be there in time. Thankfully, she didn’t have to meet with Namor for another day and a half. She needed to think quickly but after working everything out with her suit, she was unsure where to go from there. 

“Griot, can I use both you and VIV?” 

“Yes, but you likely will not need me once the AI is turned on. I will be there when you need me, though Miss Riri.”

“Thank you Griot.” Riri smiled to herself, always fond of Griot and their robot voice. It made her think about the time she spent in the lab with Shuri, where they would borderline argue and Riri would laugh at them. This brought back that pang in her stomach and chest. She got to work on turning on and engaging with the AI so that it could mold to her needs, voice and patterns. After about an hour, she felt ready to head off. Except she had no idea how to get to Wakanda, let alone how to get in. She ruffled through her bookbag to find the information Namor had sent for her. A small teal envelope with her name on it, looking like it was written with a quill and ink. She shuddered at the thought of how old this man was and how intentional he had been to get this note to her. She opened it and read over it again, hoping to find more information than last time. Then, an idea came to mind.

“Hey VIV, and Griot, not that I don’t think you can handle it by yourself VIV. But uh, can you both scan this for me? I don’t have my Black light. Look for anything and everything. Cross reference what you find, if anything. Please.” 

“Yes IronHeart.” “Yes, Miss Riri.” They both answered in tandem. While they got to work, Riri sat down finally to think about what she could do. She couldn’t exactly call up the avengers to help her figure this out. She had to be lowkey, she had to be smart, and she needed it to work. She had only been to Wakanda once, and wasn’t really in the know about how to travel there let alone get through the border forcefield. As she went over all she did know, trying to remember any details that would help, the AI duo alerted her. 

Griot speaking first, since VIV seemed to sense a deeper trust from the IronHeart’s patterns. 

“There are markings on the back that would indicate a geolocation where Namor would like you to meet.”

“So, coordinates? I can work with that.” Riri said out loud, still trying to figure out exactly how she could work with that. Until she looked over at her father’s red car, in pristine condition thanks to Shuri. And it dawned on her. 

“Griot, do you have contact information for anybody besides Shuri?”

“I have contact information for Queen Shuri, and Okoye, former general of the Dora Milage.”

“Perfect. Please contact her now.”

“Yes, Miss Riri.”

“Wait, before you do, please transfer this contact information over to VIV. I’m not sure if Shuri knows that I have VIV yet, but in case she does, I don’t doubt that she would shut you down.” Riri explains to her favorite robot as if they needed it. Griot complied and sent a call out to Okoye.

Riri waited, holding her breath. She wasn’t sure is Okoye would answer, or even be willing to help. But this is what she had to work with. 

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Okoye answered.

“Small girl. Is everything alright?” Okoye answered seeming cheerful enough to hear from the girl but not without worry for the cause. Riri took a deep breath and explained the situation, truthfully, to the best of her ability. Somehow, as a surprise to both of them, Okoye was on her way in a matter of minutes as a Midnight Angel, with a jet that Shuri had let her keep. They both knew Shuri would be upset, but somehow it didn’t matter enough to let her get to Namor. They both knew what could happen, and what Shuri would likely do. 

No time was wasted when Okoye arrived, Riri running in the open hatch as fast as she could. Okoye pulled off without a trace, both of them hoping they hadn’t alerted any American law enforcement this time.

Okoye charted course for Wakanda and they both sat in near silence for most of the ride, only sharing a few words when Riri boarded, Riri showing Okoye the letter before she began piloting. They would make it in time. Riri sat near the back, not feeling like she belonged at the mantle of the machine. She had always liked these, having begged Shuri to teach her how to fly one before they set off for war. Riri sunk into her feelings that she had been trying to keep at bay since finding out about the AI. Before Shuri came, she honestly really wasn’t sure what she was going to do or how she was going to do it. But it seemed like the timing would suggest that she was supposed to, whether she really wanted to believe that or not. She didn’t want to believe that she was this horrible monster who brought death and destruction with her everywhere she went, but sometimes she really did. She tried to fight those thoughts back and began to feel the weight of her body, sinking into the seat. Sinking was a familiar feeling to her. She tried to remember how to swim in her own thoughts. She remembered how Shuri would talk her through her episodes. How she would call right away when she sensed anything off, even if Riri wasn’t wearing her beads. She remembered how it felt to think everything would be okay, and how often that was proved to be untrue. 

It was too easy to remember. Too easy to feel like it was just yesterday. Riri couldn't keep her mind from wandering back in time while the Wakandan jet made its way through the air. Trying to focus on anything else, trying to pay attention to the Dora silently flying or guarding the exit, trying to watch the sky around her. Anything. She couldn't bite down hard enough on the inside of her cheek, leaving a sore mark wasn't enough to keep her mind from its current occupation. 

"What are you doing here?!" The shorter of the two screamed, almost screeched as she ran into the panther's arms. 

"I had some time to myself finally. Where else would I go?" Shuri chuckled as she picked the scientist up. 

"You could literally go anywhere in the world and probably... out of the world? At this point with Wakandan tech." Riri explained, seriously, as she hung onto the slim but toned body holding her off the ground with ease, not realizing she was holding on as tight as she was. Not realizing there was nowhere else Shuri would have gone. Nowhere. 

"You're so... anyway, what should we do?"

"How long do we have?" Riri asked as she pulled back, not even trying to contain her wide grin that was plastered across her face. Shuri recorded it to memory, as she always did with the smaller woman's features. 

"96 hours. Well, 96-ish, less now that we've been standing here debating where I could've gone." Shuri jokes as she lets go, making sure Riri found her footing. 

"Shut up! Four days?! We have so much to do!" Riri definitely screeched this time, pretending to slap Shuri's arm. Fighting the urge to grab it and pull her in, Shuri picks up Riri's book bag from where she dropped it and places it in her desk chair as she walks to the bed and pulls her own bag out from under the bed.

"Exactly how long have you been here? You seem comfortable." Riri jokes as she grabs two waters from her mini fridge and hops up on her bed. 

"I am." Shuri chuckles at the sight of the shorter woman having to jump to get on the bed. "And since your first class."

"Are you serious?! Why didn't you say anything dickhead?!" 

"Ouch!" Shuri feigns pain as she catches the pillow Riri throws at her head and plops on the bed next to her. "I had a few things to handle, and needed to secure the dorm building. I didn't want to disrupt your day, I know midterms are coming up no?"

"Yeah, they are but you could've let a bitch know! I would've cleaned!" Riri states, noticing that she sounds much like her mother. 

"I like your mess." Shuri smiles. 

"Shut up. How did you secure the whole dorm building?"

"Well, I hope you don't mind. I have beads in every corner of the building. And a few around campus as well. Including in here. Is that alright with you?"

"Sheesh. Do I have a choice?" Riri jokes, but Shuri nervously answers.

"Yes of course! If it's not comfortable for you, I can sleep at a hotel. I should've asked, I'm sorry about that. Next time I'll-"

"There's a next time too?"

"Well, if you'd li-"

"Are you crazy?! Of course! And yeah yeah, that's all fine with me. I get it. Don't start worrying about it or nun. I was just curious."

Shuri's smile returns and she relaxes back into the bed. It was oddly comfortable, being that the last time she was here was before the war. Sure, they'd been talking for months over facetimes and calls. And texts. And letters.. oddly, but not to them. They were both truly as desperate as they felt, but excused it since it seemed mutual - opting to call it a mutual interest in friendship, as opposed to what it really was in the bigger picture. And sure, they had seen each other one other time, but it was so brief that it shouldn't really count - although it did, to both of them. 

Shuri had arrived at an American event in Boston, forced to show face by the elders after the uproar surrounding her mother and everything. She felt it was too soon and didn't make sense to attend a tech gala when none of it was even touching Wakandan tech. But regardless, she put on her best suit and went, disregarding the elder's request for her to wear traditional royal attire. She sat there, wishing she hadn't come, while big investors droned on. The only part that peaked her interest was listening to the stories of young inventors. They reminded her of herself, so excited and in a hurry. They reminded her of someone else too. Someone she had been longing to see since she left Wakanda only a few months ago at the time. 

Shuri muddled around the thought of calling Riri, or just showing up at her dorm. She knew she had responsibilities to attend to the next afternoon after she returned home, and it really hadn't been that long. Maybe Riri wasn't ready to see her yet? Or maybe she never would be. Or maybe Shuri had really made their connection up in her own mind. Or maybe she didn't? And maybe she should just call her, or maybe send her a quick text to keep it more casual? Keep what, casual exactly? She wasn't sure. She paced around her own mind anxiously the entire night, not realizing it was her turn to speak until the Doras were next to her asking if she was alright. She collected herself and headed to the stage, performing a speech much like her brother had about the importance of innovation, supporting the youth - especially the Black and Brown youth, etc. She meant what she said but she hardly felt as connected or present with it as she was when she wrote it. Still circling her mind was her favorite innovator, the scientist who made everything make sense to her. Pining so badly, by the end of her speech she had resolved to call Riri. Faking her smiles through the eruption of clapping and handshakes as she left the stage, she made her way back to her seat while the closing speech began - only to lose her resolve when Ayo bent down to whisper a reminder of their exit plan and their intended arrival time back in Wakanda. 

She had known it was a foolish thought. Who even knew what the small scientist would be doing at this time? She could be working, studying, partying. God, Shuri hoped not but recoiled at her own thoughts. She wasn't heteronormative and she wasn't the toxic type. She just also felt jealous of anybody and anything that got to be around Riri when she wasn't. Which was most times. Essentially all the time. Really, she reasoned with herself, she had only been around Riri for a few days and it had been against her will anyway. Maybe she really was making all of this up in her head. 

The Queen of Wakanda continued her mental pace as she made her exit, later than most guests and certainly not from the front entrance. She walked through the beautiful building with the Doras who were talking amongst themselves about logistics, seemingly all having caught onto another one of Shuri's "moods". Shuri paid them no mind, as they expected, while she began brooding. What was the point of coming to America, aside from like... the actual point, politically - if not to see her scientist? She caught herself scoffing at "her scientist", making fun of herself in her head as they headed outside and around the back when the Doras suddenly stood alert around her. Shuri looked around her and back at her beads quickly, doing a quick scan of their surroundings, only to hear a small, out of breath "Hey" from her left.

"Williams?"

"Yeah, yeah.. haha. Hoo. Crazy catching you here." Riri joked awkwardly as she tried to catch her breath from clearing having run.

"Yes, well I was-"

"Giving a speech. I saw on tv. Just happened to be in the neighborhood myself so I figured I'd uh, say hi." Riri cut the Panther off as she caught her bearings and finally made eye contact. Shuri made contact back, silently signaling for the Dora to drop their guard. Ayo looked between them but of course followed command. Shuri stepped between them and closer to the scientist, who was now twiddling her fingers and looking anywhere but at Shuri. Just like she did in Wakanda. Just like Shuri had replayed in her head a billion times over. While Shuri took the absence of eye contact as a chance to damn near gawk at the smaller woman, Riri was doing her own mental laps. 

She also questioned her intentions and if she had been making this all up. She also questioned how crazy she must look, showing up here like this. She couldn't stop herself, leaving MJ, Peter and Ned in her OWN room after they had been flipping through channels and Riri caught a glimpse. That was all it took, one, maybe two seconds and she was out the door. And granted, she kind of was in the neighborhood. If you consider being four miles away in the neighborhood. She had considered grabbing her car from the garage but figured it would take too long, so she jumped in her nano suit her and Peter had been working on (that definitely still needed some work), and flew over. Of course she couldn't land in front of everyone, so she landed in a park a few blocks away and took off on foot. None of which she will EVER tell anybody, although she could barely remember her excuse to the three friends she left in her dorm as she forced herself to look back up and meet Shuri's eyes. 

"In the neighborhood?"

"You could say that." Riri joked awkwardly again.

This made Shuri laugh. Riri had that effect on her, she had learned during their late night lab sessions. Even in the midst of the grimmest of days and a literal war, Riri had Shuri laughing so hard she cried a few times. They both seemed to be thinking back while they laughed together and smiled at each other shyly until Ayo cleared her throat. 

"We must get going, Kumkanikazi." Both women seemed to jump a bit, having been pulled out of their staring contest. Riri shuddered at hearing Shuri be called that, she recognized it from when Okoye would speak about Queen Ramonda. She had done her best to pick up on as much of the language as she could when she was there, for some reason unknown to her - she just figured it would come in handy. But now, hearing it and knowing it meant Queen, shook her to her core. She remembered why she hadn't reached out, the guilt that sat in her bones about it. She nearly turned on her heels until she heard Shuri speak. 

"One moment please."

"My Queen, we really must-" Ayo begun speaking in Xhosa but was cut off by the Panther Queen. 

"Please. One moment." Shuri said, a command but almost begging, not turning to face the general one step to the side of her. She pulled at the necklace around her neck and Ayo nodded silently. 

"I will ready the jet." Ayo answered and turned around, her and the two other Dora briskly walking to the jet that was just now coming into Riri's focus. She assumed it was using the new camouflage tech she had heard mentioned before she left Wakanda. 

"Those things get cooler every time."

"Yeah, I suppose they do." Shuri laughed half heartedly. They both tried to speak but cut each other off.

"So-"

"I do-"

"You first." They both sheepishly smiled as they spoke in unison. but Riri insisted. "Go ahead, please." 

Shuri would've resisted if she wasn't so desperate and struggling against showing it. 

"How have you been? I've mis- I've been wondering. We haven't spoken since you left." Shuri caught herself, suddenly feeling like twiddling her fingers and looking at her shoes too but she resisted that too. She was good at resisting. 

"Oh.. well yeah. I've been. You know, school, work. Just been trying to get through the semester. I wanted to re- well I wondered how you've been too."

"I've been, too." Shuri shrugged with a smile. She wanted to know more, everything. To devour the stories Riri could tell her, even the most mundane. She wanted to know what pencils she used to write equations and what she thought of the food in her cafeteria. Riri just smiled, feeling the weight again. She knew Shuri hadn't been good, and she knew she hadn't either. 

"Can I ask you-" They both spoke in unison again. 

"You first." Riri insisted again, before Shuri could. Shuri didn't like it but she also didn't have much time to waste. 

"Why didn't you reach out?" She asked, leaving Riri out of breath all over again. After a second that seemed like a million, Riri answered.

"I didn't know how." She said truthfully. 

"I left you beads. Maybe I should've left a note too. I'm sorry, I figured you'd-"

"No, no. Not like that. I figured that out, it was actually pretty easy." Riri smiled, thinking about how much fun it was to try to get the beads to work. Fun until it wasn't. Fun until she heard Shuri's voice message and left it for months.

"Then you didn't want to?"

"No, I did. I just didn't know... how. I didn't know what to say, or how to say it. But trust me, I wanted to. I really wanted to." Riri said earnestly and more quiet than she intended. Shuri believed her and took her answer, even if she didn't like it. Again resisting herself. Resisting Riri. 

"I understand. Thank you for letting me know. Well..." She looked back at the Jet and sighed. They made eye contact before Shuri decided it would be best to count her losses in her own country, turning to leave. 

"Wait, I still have a question!" Riri almost shouted. "If that's okay... of course." She said more quiet. Shuri turned around eager to hear. Hoping. Resisting. But hoping. She nodded her head.

"Well..." Riri twisted her fingers around in her hands. She still didn't know what to say or how to say it. But she didn't have much time to waste. 

"Well?" Shuri asked, trying not to sound pushy but anxious to know. 

"Is it too late?" Riri asked, looking back up at the woman in front of her. The face she had committed to memory, but a bit different. More mature. Somehow even more beautiful. Shuri said nothing.

"...To reach out... To talk?" Riri finally drove it home, sending a silent prayer to whoever would answer that she wouldn't further embarrass herself. 

Startling the both of them, Shuri's beads lit up and Ayo's face appeared. 

"My apologies my Queen, but if we do not leave in the next three minutes, you may be late to your engagements tomorrow."

"Yes, thank you. I'm coming." Shuri said back, eyes still on Riri. 

Riri felt defeated as she watched the panther tuck her beads back up her sleeve. It probably was too late. And who knows. Maybe it was the right thing to do to not stay in contact. Maybe that's what was best for Wakanda or Shuri. She remembered her mother always telling her that sometimes "doing the right thing feels like shit". In this case, she thought, it felt worse than shitty.

That was until Shuri grabbed her hand. Softly, almost too soft in comparison to what you'd expect from a super powered panther. It was so soft yet sent a shiver through Riri, like electricity was coursing through her. Like her heart was beating for the first time. The eye contact was somehow not as awkward as it was a second ago when they were standing a few feet apart. It was like they were all alone.

"Use the beads. If they need to charge, just set them in the sun but they shouldn't."

"Oh- Okay. I will. I will." Riri said twice, almost like she was confirming with herself first and the Shuri.

"Good." Shuri smiled. She took a step closer before she heard another beep on her own beads. Before the General could speak, Shuri was already responding. 

"I heard you. I'm coming."

She looked at Riri again and sighed, and suddenly Riri saw just how exhausted the Panther really was. And maybe something else too. Shuri stepped back again, not wanting to let go of Riri's hand. 

"It'll never be too late. I'll see you soon?" Shuri said, finally letting go and letting the physical distance regrow between them, hoping that the emotional distance wouldn't grow again too. 

Riri watched as the panther walked back to the jet and boarded, looking back only once, only long enough to catch Riri's small wave but not return it. The younger scientist stood there feeling disassociated, unsure of what to do next. Really, she knew she had to go back to her dorm and go back to living her real life just like she had after she left Wakanda. Although, as dreary as that still seemed to her, this time felt different. Like there was something to look forward to, if she had the balls to actually use the beads like Shuri had said. She mulled over whether or not it was an instruction or a question from the Panther as she chose not to watch the jet fly off behind her. She heard the media start to buzz again when they heard the jet, upset that they had missed the person they were waiting for. Yet, Riri stood there and stared at the ground where Shuri was just standing. She still felt that pathetic feeling, and worried that she hadn't had a chance to explain how she found Shuri or even knew she would be there. She felt the weight of grief again, after seeing how tired Shuri looked when you really looked at her. And she felt guilty, for feeling excited. For feeling the butterflies she always pretended she didn't feel. She wondered, briefly, how Shuri was feeling right now but per usual, tried not to wonder too much as to not become delusional. She knew better than anybody that assuming to know how someone else thinks is the worst mistake you can make. 

Shuri, back in the jet that was flying faster than she would like, was afflicted by similar thoughts. She wondered how Riri had found her and wondered if she really was as lucky as that just felt. She wondered why the girl even came. She wondered if she thinks about her too. She wondered if Riri would use the beads. She sat awake, replaying every moment of their time together since their first encounter over and over until they arrived in Wakanda, despite the Doras concerns for her not getting rest. Shuri would rest when things were well enough for her to rest, she told herself, but even she was starting to notice the cracks. She knew she could only stay awake for so many days until her body would shut down. She had secretly tried some of the elixirs and teas that both Nakia and Aneka had sent her, and she had read what Okoye sent her after hearing everything. She had slept every now and then, but it was never restful. It was never without torment from some figment of her mind taking shape of someone she wasn't ready to face - whether that be Namor, N'jdaka, or her mother. She always prayed for T'Challa to appear, who she wasn't sure if she was ready to see but longed for the comfort of his voice or face, but each time her body fell asleep, her mind fell into a well pit of despair. 

That is, until later that night. Shuri had been through her daily responsibilities after making it back to Wakanda. Once her meetings were over, she made her way to the lab. She did her best to avoid checking the status of Riri's beads, trying to keep her mind busy as she usually did. It was harder this time, knowing that she'd actually spoken to the girl. After bopping around a bit, her body started to feel the weight of the past few days. She hadn't been physically training as much as she should've the past few weeks, because she knew it would knock her out but she was starting to feel stiff. She finally let up and sat down at one of her desks in a back room of the lab after Griot had let her know her vitals. She didn't usually sit in this room, so she hadn't been aware of what was placed in there. As she lazily sifted through the papers on the desk to try to keep her mind occupied, she saw blueprints for Riri's Iron Heart suit. The same feeling of nervousness and excitement rose in her as she more hurriedly looked over them. Despite all the work they did together, she never really got to see too much of Riri's initial process from scratch. She ran her slender fingers over Riri's pencil marks, reading over all her notes to herself. 

With a yawn, Shuri sat back and relished in the fact that Riri actually existed. Sometimes, when Shuri was really out of it, she couldn't believe that everything really happened. She was sometimes convinced she would wake up and her mother would still be here, or that Riri was just a figment of her desperate imagination. Sure, having her mother back would be... well, everything. But it scared Shuri to think Riri might not have been real, that she didn't really happen. She felt selfish for this, knowing that Riri's life would probably be better without the trauma she endured in Wakanda. But nevertheless, Shuri held on tight to the memories she had of the woman, hoping that they would be enough for her. 

She thought about how it felt to hold Riri's hand, to touch her skin again. It was just as soft and delicate as it had been when they parted ways a few months ago. Her face looked the same, maybe more mature in some ways. She looked tired too, underneath the face she put on for other people. They had gotten past that with each other during their long nights alone working together in the lab. 

She thought about what it would feel like to fall asleep in Riri's bed. The mattress probably wasn't super comfortable but she remembers all the colorful pillows she has, messily strewn across the surface. The different colored blankets would probably fit them both well, even with the little space a twin bed supplies. They would have to be close, touching. Shuri imagined breathing in sync, feeling Riri's ribcage rise and fall in her arms while they were pressed against each other. She thought about how Riri smells. She's been trying to replicate it for months. She thought about breathing her in, laying her face in the crook of her neck and sleeping. Not thinking. Sleeping. Not even having to dream. She thought about waking up next to her, seeing her sleeping still until Shuri shifted too much by accident. Riri waking up and no doubt saying something funny. Or soft. Or just saying hello. How her eyes would look. She thought about not being afraid to make it real, that in her thoughts she didn't have to pretend that these touches were by accident or out of necessity. That they could spend an eternity, wrapped in colorful blankets, sleeping and touching skin to skin. That maybe Riri would feel the same, and they would laugh about how long it took to figure it out. That they would laugh until they couldn't, and talk until they couldn't, and then they would kiss. And everything would melt away, and neither would know where their skin would begin or end. And they would kiss until they couldn't. And they'd sleep. 

She hadn't realized she had fallen asleep at the desk until she heard Griot's voice. 

"Sorry to startle you, Panther. But, Miss Williams is trying to contact you. How would you like me to proceed?"

Shuri was shook, unsure of what she looked like or even what time it was. She felt nervous. She felt groggy, not even sure if this was real either. Nevertheless, she answered. 

"Patch me through, please."

She waited a moment with bated breath, hoping this wasn't a dream or some fluke. Until she heard a familiar voice.

"Hello?" Riri asked, sounding nervous herself. Shuri wondered what time it was there, too. 

"Hey." She said, in a more relaxed tone. Even if this wasn't real, it was still the best dream she'd had in months. Maybe ever.

And they talked, for a long time. Eventually working through any awkwardness. Riri never explained how she made it to the Panther, and the Panther never asked. She did explain, however, why it took so long for her to call. Shuri just listened and let herself laugh, like she'd been dreaming about. Finally feeling free for a little bit, even if it was just for a little bit.

On the other side of things, once Riri had cleared everyone out of her room when she got back and promising to explain to MJ later, she had sat down and thought about what to do. That turned into pacing and talking outloud. She had been avoiding the beads like the plague for months, unsure of what to do. Unsure of what choice would cause the least harm, since she already felt guilty for what she had caused. She found herself awake all night feeling anxious. She left for class that morning, deciding that she would get through her day and take a nap. She would figure it out after that. What she didn't tell Shuri, is how hard its been to sleep since she left Wakanda, or really even how hard it was while she was there. But when she tried to take a nap, she realized that all she dreamed about this time was Shuri and how soft her hand was when they had touched and how peaceful it felt to talk to her, even if only for a few moments and only a few words. She decided when she woke up that even if they ended up never talking again, she would keep her promise and use the beads.

And that's what she did. And that's what they kept doing, for weeks and months. They talked, they listened, they laughed, and on rare occasion, fell asleep. Both free from nightmares, even if just for a little while. Until Shuri finally arrived.

And finally, they had some time to really figure things out. Shuri promised she wasn't missing anything important by being there, and that she had allotted enough time. Riri was still unsure about it but couldn't resist the opportunity to finally see the woman she had been pining over for months - as a friend, of course. 

As Riri remembered back fondly, she had forgotten what was ahead of her until she was jolted by turbulence that was usually well controlled by the Wakandan tech in the fighter jet. She couldn't process how she could possibly be on her way to confront the man that almost killed her and did actually kill the Queen of Wakanda. She couldn't fathom that she was racing there, against her love, her best friend, to make sure she didn't kill him first. Suddenly her clothes all felt too tight, and her suit felt heavy despite being nano. Suddenly the air felt hot and her lungs felt empty and she felt dizzy. She had felt all of this before, a panic attack. Riri Williams was no stranger to a panic attack. Not before Wakanda, and definitely not after. Though, for the past few months, she had always had Shuri to help ground her. Now, she was floating in the air, literally and figuratively. Everything was moving so fast. She felt herself spiraling and cursing herself in the process, unable to stop it but ashamed nonetheless. She had worked hard, since she was younger, to have a control over her emotions and thoughts. She needed to, especially if she was going to take this super hero shit serious. Especially if she was going to be there for her mom and sister after her dad passed. Especially if she was going to make it. But she felt that control slowly ripping itself to shreds, doing a number on all the mental blocks she had in place. She couldn't lose Shuri. She couldn't be the cause of another war in Wakanda. She couldn't live with the guilt. She couldn't let Shuri get hurt, or worse, for her again. Even if it meant confronting a man much more powerful than her. Even if it meant losing. Even if it meant drowning all over again. 

Suddenly, she felt a cool hand grace the side of her cheek. She felt her suit dematerialize around her until it was just a bracelet again. She felt Okoye kneel down in front of her, eyes kinder than they usually were. She felt her pull her in close and squeeze. The pressure of the embrace bringing Riri back into her body. They stayed like that until Riri could breathe again. 

She went to apologize as Okoye pulled back silently, just as she had appeared, but she was cut off. 

"Aht aht. There is no need." Okoye softly but firmly let her know, sitting down next to her. They had never been this close before. Riri looked over to see the jet flying itself. The first time she saw that happen she was crazy nervous, but she's grown to trust both Wakandan tech and Okoye. After a few moments of silence, Okoye spoke again.

"I know what she means to you, you know."

Riri looked at her finally, noticing how somber her eyes really looked. She had seen those eyes before, but not like this. Okoye continued, looking back out the windows. 

"I was T'Challa's right hand. I saw it all, from the beginning to the end. I saw him be the panther, I saw him be the king. I saw him be Shuri's brother." Riri felt a pang in her at the use of Shuri's name. She listened.

"And I saw him fall in love. I saw him devote himself to Nakia, and I saw her unravel at the loss of him - until she left. I saw it all, as much as I could. And I often wondered why I didn't feel the way they seemed to feel when my husband betrayed me and Wakanda. But their love... it was pure. It was something out of this world, it was something built into them." Okoye sighed, feeling grief in many directions. Riri found herself fighting back tears again until Okoye looked at her with different eyes, almost loving eyes this time.

"I have seen that kind of love before and that is how I know you have it. Both of you. And that is how I know we will figure this out." Okoye looked at her and squeezed her hand again, affirming what she said. They both heard the AI tell them they were approaching in the next 5 minutes. Through her tears that were now shamelessly falling down her face, Riri gulped out a question, in true Riri fashion.

"Do you think you will ever love like that?"

"I already do." Okoye said, getting up and adjusting herself to get back to the front of the plane to chart their secret entrance into Wakanda. Riri looked confused.

"Ngudade wethu." Okoye answered again, before sitting down and being who she needed to be. Riri knew what she said, and knew that she was right. About all of it. 

As they prepared themselves, Riri suited up and made her way to the front of the plane. 

"Where did he say to meet?" The midnight angel asked Riri. She sent the coordinates to the jet and looked at them wistfully. She hadn't really thought about where she might actually be going to "talk" to him when she was rushing to get herself to Wakanda. She jumped when Okoye gasped. 

"What?! What is it?!" Worry filled her from head to toe again, hoping it had nothing to do with Shuri. 

"That bastard... We are going to have to find a way to break into the palace. He wants to meet in the throne room."

Riri was speechless, knowing that this was a tactic to try to make her feel weak. She also couldn't deny that it was working. She felt her heart rate increase at the thought of being back in there. Of seeing the place where she almost died. Of... all of it. She had visited many times in her dreams, all against her will. And now she would face him there, against her will. She knew he was doing this to weaken her resolve, much like her and Shuri did with the dehydrating jet. She knew his intent all along, but this certainly solidified it. 

Riri tried to make peace with dying in Wakanda. Once again, her mom wouldn't know where she was or how any of this happened. She wondered what lie they would tell her. She wondered if she would fight or just give herself to him. She wondered what Shuri would do, knowing this wouldn't end well no matter what she did. But she held her mind together as best as she could. She knew she had to meet him before she did. She knew she had to do what she could to prevent a second war. Okoye knew too, looking at her and then pulling up her own beads to try and locate Shuri. 

"The Panther's location services are currently offline." The Ai spoke to them. 

"Let us pray she is behind us and not ahead of us."

"Will she know where to find us?"

"We are about to break into the most secure place on the planet earth. I'm sure everyone will know where to find us in a matter of moments." Okoye answered and they shared a look. 

"I hope you know, I will fight until the end with you. I have stood with the Wakandan throne my whole life. I have stood with Shuri and those that came before her. I have stood for the safety of my people as best as possible, but I have made my own mistakes before. I will stand with you, now, Riri. No matter the outcome."

Riri felt the pull of her tear ducts again but different this time. Okoye reminded her of her own sister, and of her own mistakes. She reached out a hand and found Okoye's. They held hands until it was time to land. 

Once they had maneuvered their way into the country using Okoye's knowledge as former general and her new disguising tech, which Riri made a note to recreate if she made it out of this, Riri followed Okoye into the dense jungle around them.

"The best chance we have is to stay low until we can't anymore, and then charge in. The Doras won't see it coming but they will react, with their full might as they've been trained to do. Even to me. Our goal is not to harm any Wakandans, but we have to get to the throne room before he does. I will do my best to reason with Ayo and Aneka but they will resist a meeting with him there. Once we spot him, we must draw him away from the palace. Even if it means drawing him to the sea. Remember that he is most powerful near water."

Riri nods as she listens. Okoye wishes there were another way.

"Remember that if we see Shuri, we may already be too late. We must keep them separate. I do not know if she will choose peace a second time. Not when it concerns you."

"I don't want her to do this, I hope you know. You were right. You were right about it all. I love her. But I don't want her to risk everything for me. You all already have and I can't live with that. I can't live with any of this. I don't want to die but... But I can't let everyone else die for me either." Riri spits out, hoping she's being believed. She means it. Okoye looks at her and hears Nakia's voice in her head. "I just know his spirit. It is simple in that way for me."

"Ndiyawazi umoya wakho. I believe you. And I will fight to make sure no one has to die today, unfortunately even him if it means peace."

"Thank you."

"Thank you, small girl."

"For what?" Riri asked, genuinely surprised since most of the mayhem the past few months has been a result of her actions - intentional or not. 

"For giving her something to hold onto again. Something to believe in." Okoye answered truthfully. Riri didn't know what to say but she took in what the older woman said, against trusting her. After a few moments of silence, it was time.

"Stand behind me and do not fly until I tell you. If you enter the air space anywhere near the palace, you will be shot down before you can count to one. Do you understand?" Riri nodded. 

She did understand. Now, more clearly than ever.

🖤

[usdemigods]

Your Katsuki is a simp.💖😔 Good, good, and that top energy from Izuku?💋🔥 you're cookinggg!🔥🔥🔥

Hahaha, that aside, I wanted to ask you, which do you think are the parts that you enjoy writing the most? Is Izuku, because you usually use his pov? and which do you think are the parts that you have problems with?

I mean, for me you totally rock!! I love your fic cause It feels sooo cozy but also, kinda of real, sometimes I feel like I'm watching everything happen in front of me. Is so cool.

I wanted also to ask If you have any fic recs that you would like to share? Cause I have one 'the art of falling' by sapphicflower is soo funny and charmkng, and any work from seeress is awesome but she left ao3 since 2022 I think?

Anyway, I hope you are doing great and thank you for sharing your hard work with us! You're awesome 💖

My love for Katsuki knows noooo bounds. It’s interesting bc I started watching/reading MHA agesss ago (must’ve been 2016), and I dipped in and out of it since then. And I’ve always had an Izuku bias, but returning last year and catching up from season 4 onward…. something shifted 🤭 Katsuki is defo my fave character now, oop.

I’d say my fave part is writing Katsuki from Izuku’s POV, for this reason! I plan out Katsuki’s POV fairly heavily, so dipping into his feelings and motivations in my notes/thoughts, but then shifting out of that when writing Izuku’s POV is soooooo so fun 😛 Like…. Knowing what Katsuki’s got going on in his mind, but only writing what Izuku can see and hear through a layer of his own misunderstandings and hang-ups is a great exercise into perspectives.

The problem…. I think it’s having an idea of the wider plot but having to decide how to reveal things. I always psych myself out when it comes to: “Ah, I really wanna execute my plan of what’s really going on but idk how to develop it realistically while also making it feel entertaining to read”. So I end up writing filler scenes to make the plot feel real and fluid but sometimes I think “argh this just doesn’t feel interesting from a reader’s POV asdfghjkl”.

And YESSS thank you for the recs (I’ve been going through a reading slump so this is SO needed). The Art of Falling is one of my faves, the author does such a good job of slowing the burn and making the characters feel realistic but also their own. And Seeress 👀 their story “Let me assist you personally” was my DekuBaku awakening!! But I read it at a time where I felt I was drowning in fics to read so I never looked at their other stuff :( I took a peak now and there’s soooo much good food, I’m gonna be well fed tonight so THANK YOU ☺️

Here are some that have stood out to me:

[Kill God] by Majjale - AU but heroes. Villain Deku and genuinely SOOOO well done. I think this is my fave hero-verse AU. I love when fics are plot heavy but the romance between BKDK is so intertwined that you can’t separate it from from plot. And it has a good take on the top/bottom dynamic discourse. 10/10, but unfinished (don’t let this defer you pls!)

Every Other Freckle by DeerMeadows - CRIMINALLY underrated. When fic authors try to tackle a genre/style is just 🤌🤌🤌. it’s 90s-2000s survival thriller meets supernatural/horror. I highly recommend. It really commits to the genre and has horror themes (so plssss don’t read if any of the tags freak you out!!! >.<)

Chasing the rabbit by Mimiwrites - stands out as one of my fave fluffy (w a side of angst) oneshot !

My fave fantasy au is imperial retrograde by mynameis152. Truly a great slow burn 🤌

An author that doesn’t disappoint is thunderpoint ! I love their writing style so much

I’m aware most of these are fairly popular, and I defo fall into this habit of reading things that I can find easily :( BKDK fic recs can become a bit of an echo chamber so I’m gonna think harder !! And I’ll message you if I think of anymore (I’ve read so many it’s embarrassing 😭 and have lost track of a lot of my faves). And feel free to send me anymore you’ve really liked as well (in dire need of more recs) <3

(AND thank you for your kind words 🫶💋 I hold them dearly)

[lyramundana]

heyheyhey, hru?? I hope everything is okay!! can I ask you an imagine where f!reader is insecure about her chubby body and minsung try to show her how much they love her? 👀 go as far as you want, I have no problem with smutty eheh;; the only thing that I have in my mind is a moment with cuddles with them and one of them want to kiss f!reader belly so suddenly that she open up about her insecurity,, I don't know if that makes sense anyway

thank you!

-🌻🌻

Helloy my sunflower!!💖😭😭I'm so, so sorry for the delay. I truly have no excuse for this, I really forgot. Here's my best try to make up for it. I'm not confident on writing things longer than headcanons and random drabbles, but here I go anyway:

We stablished previously that these two couldn't care less about their partner's body once they fall in love. In their eyes, she's a perfect human being sent by heaven for them and they worship the ground she walks on.

Reader doesn't usually feel bad about her body. Dating these two means she barely has the time to find icks about herself because they fill her ears with compliments and praises all the fucking time, cuddling her while wrapping themselves all around her and caressing her skin adoringly. However, she still has her days when she looks at the mirror and the voices in her head are louder than her boyfriends' sweet words. Those days when she pays attention to other girls and notes how skinny they are, how soft their skin looks and how beautiful they look. She watches the girls Han and Minho usually work with and feels she can't compare.

When the boys arrive home and see her wearing one of their hoodies that looks baggy on her, they simply assume she missed them and so they run to her to cover her face in kisses for being so adorable. Seeing her wearing their clothes makes them so soft that the only solution they can come up with is a cuddle battle in their bed. Before she can reply, she's being carried on Minho's shoulders and thrown there, Jisung quicky falling to her side to hug her waist and bury his face in her neck, kissing it. Minho appears on her other side and locks his hands with Jisung's, tracing lines on her face with the other as he leaves soft kisses in her head. Suddenly, Jisung moves his head towards her tummy to leave a kiss there like he has done multiple times before, but this time, she stops him, surprising both of them.

When they cuddle, it's an habit that one of them lays his head on her stomach and sleeps there, Minho even rubs his face there like a cat when he asks for massages, and she usually complies and lets them do happily. But right now, she feels too embarrassed. She doesn't want them to see or touch her fat, to realize how bland her skin is, not when they spent the day surrounded by gorgeous women with perfect bodies and perfect faces.

Jisung steps away a little, looking hurt, and it only breaks her heart more.

-Baby, what is it? Did I do something wrong? - he pouts, clear worry in his eyes, and Minho sits up to look at her with a frown.

God, she only feels worse now. They think it's their fault. She's worrying them over nothing.

-Of course not, babe, you did nothing. It-It's not because of you. It's just..-she bites her lips and looks down, fighting in her mind for words.

The boys share a glance and Minho places a hand on her thigh.

-Kitty, we don't want to push your boundaries, but if there's something troubling you, we want to know.

-Yeah, tell us. We'll make it better, princess. We'll make everything better for you. Please, don't hide from us.

Damn it, now she feels the tears coming. She starts to fitchet with her fingers and blink rapidly at them.

-It's just- she sniffles-I know it's stupid but..I don't like what I see on myself sometimes. I hate what's under these clothes. You guys are surrounded by literal godesses all the time and I..I'm nothing next to them. They're so fit, so skinny, so good looking, and then I watch myself and compare and..-she shakes her head, letting out a heavy breath. - I don't know what happened but today I just couldn't get this out of my head. How can you be with me when you have such options out there? Girls who aren't heavy, who can wear any brand of clothes. Just why?

Silence. She now notices a few tears have escaped her eyes and doesn't dare to look at them.

-Oh, baby -Jisung whispers, cleaning the tears away with his fingers. He wraps arm around her shoulders and movers towards his lap, hiding her face in his chest and coddling her. - Our sweet, precious baby.

Minho hugs her from behind, placing his chin on her shoulders and sneaks his hands under her his hoodie, drawing circles in her skin. He kisses her temple.

-You idiot, you answered your own question. If we wanted any of those "beautiful" girls, why would we be with you in the first place? Think, love. -he presses his cheek against hers. Jisung nods.

-Exactly. And I think you need to check your eyes too, beautiful. There's only one goddess in this entire world and it's right in front of me. Everyone else are just normies. - he huffs, and Minho agrees with him loudly.

She lets out a breathless chuckle, not seeing the small smiles that this draws in the boys.

-Aww, there she is. That's the smile we love so much. - Jisung grabs her face with both hands and squeezes it, pouting her lips. - Now promise you'll never speak of yourself like that. We adore what's under these clothes and it's really painful to hear you say that.

-Besides, you aren't heavy at all, kitten. Have you forgotten how easily I can keep you up in the air for long minutes? - Minho shows a wicked grin and she blushes, hiding her face in Jisung's chest again, who's chuckling at the older's words. Of course, they're not talking about innocent cuddles now, but about when they take turns to fuck you against a wall. They usually start by wanting to brag about their arms but in reality they just like seeing you powerless in their grasp.

Minho pulls her by the end of the hoodie to make her face them, and the air shifts in the room at the sight of her red cheeks, her glossy eyes and small pout. And her thick, mouth-watering legs totally exposed.

-Look at you. Where does that shyness come from, love? Did your little pervert mind made you think of something else? - Minho says in a husky voice, brushing her ears with his lips as his hands drift to the curve of her ass, squeezing it.

-You know what, jagi? -Jisung looks at his boyfriend with feigned wonder, sneaking his hands inside her hoodie to reach her bra clasp, unhooking it slowly. -I think we need to teach our goddess to not talk badly about our temple ever again.

He slips the bra out off her hoodie and pushes her into the bed softly. She's now caged by both of them, who are staring down at her figure in hunger.

They spent the whole night pleasuring her, showing her the adoration they have for her curves and skin, leaving not even an inch of it untouched. By the end of it, she's so spent and covered in love bites that she can't bring herself to care about anything else but sleeping.

[psychics4unet]

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What are your thoughts? Have you ever had a psychic reading? Feel free to share your experiences in the comments! 👇💬 Let’s talk about how psychics have helped you! ✨

[oraclekleo]

This is so fun that i won't even go anon, lol, love the concept 💕💕

My Sun is in Cap, Moon and Rising in Aqua

I'm not a dominant lady at all, i would melt hearing JCW voice only, but if you feel something...i'm open 👀👀 have a good day babe.

Strictly 18+ Content ahead. Minors do not engage!

Spread: BHS Tarot Deck(s): Tarot of Sexual Magic, Tarot of Casanova, Erotic Fantasy Tarot

Park Seo Joon Handcuffs you - 7 of Pentacles, King of Pentacles

It looks like Seo Joon would really enjoy putting some handcuffs on you, though he’s not likely to be rough about it. He’s more of a gentle captivator of yours and he might like to keep you motionless only to truly pamper you. Otherwise you might twitch, squirm and try to escape his sweet torture and he’s way too into this to allow that. He’s likely the one to pitch the idea first or he might even catch you off guard while kissing you. Next thing you know is the sound of clicking handcuffs and you are at his mercy. Not that he would overly abuse his power over you. He might like to slightly tease you but in the end, his major focus is your comfort. The cards suggest he’s truly likely to make this all about you and spoil you and if you’re not begging for it, he might pleasure you without finding his own release. What a selfless man!

Wi Ha Joon Spanks you - XVIII The Moon, 8 of Pentacles

It looks like spanking you is one of Ha Joon’s secret desires. He might not give any hints but one day he just spits it out, probably startling you for a second, maybe you even think he’s just joking but he’s not joking at all. The 8 of Pentacles suggests he might have a decent experience in this and he might be willing to eagerly share with you. While Ha Joon surely has considerable strength in his hands, he’s not likely to have a heavy arm when spanking you. He’s more than aware and he’s likely to start softly in order to make the experience as pleasurable for you as possible. Only if you encourage him to put more force into it, he’s likely to obey.

Ji Chang Wook Blindfolds you - XV The Devil, XIV Temperance

Wow! Two major arcana cards and the Devil card to top it… well… Blindfolding you is an act of encouragement. When Chang Wook blindfolds you, he’s giving you the freedom to express your most hidden desires. You might feel shy to share them when looking into his eyes but being blindfolded, you can say things that are on your mind. He’s likely to encourage you to be open, to share your wildest fantasies and whatever they are, Chang Wook will make them come true. It's a paradox that becoming more vulnerable to Chang Wook, actually gives you the courage and confidence to be yourself and accept all your hidden desires. While losing sight, you can finally focus on your body and what it truly craves. Giving the ability to see means giving in to your lust.

Thank you so much for requesting the reading!

I'm always grateful for any feedback.

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[her-devils-advocate]

The Rebecca ask game looks v fun 👀 may i send you a few questions for your MC Valerie? 5,6,7,8,9 if u want 💖

Ah, thank you so much!! Of course, I love talking about my detective so much so ty for sending them! The ask game can be found here!

5- Do they trust Rebecca with information about their life, or would they rather keep the information limited?

Valerie is slowly opening up to Rebecca when it comes to the important details in her life, but it was hard for her when she had grown up feeling brushed aside and learnt to simply keep things to herself to prevent disappointment. Rebecca ended up learning about Val and Nate's relationship becoming official from Felix chatting away about it, not from Val herself. She is trying to be more open with her mum when it comes to serious things and she doesn't actively choose to keep the info from Rebecca, it's just that it never crosses her mind to bring it up most of the time!

6- Did Rebecca’s absence affect the person they are today? If so, do they hold that against her if it’s in a negative way?

It heavily affected Val, especially the abandonment issues that came along with Rebecca's absence and the feeling of never belonging anywhere.

Her relationship with her mother throughout her younger years is what eventually drove her into Bobby's arms and ended up creating more issues for Val, especially since he wanted fun yet she just wanted to feel like she had somewhere to belong. It's also why it took Valerie so long to truly feel like a member of Unit Bravo as a team, and why it took even longer for her to feel like a member of Unit Bravo as a family.

7- Does your detective argue with Rebecca often?

They don't tend to argue often, Valerie usually tries to avoid arguments in general, regardless of who the person is! She's always worried that an argument will spark the end of that relationship/friendship, so she will take the time to cool off before discussing the issue.

Despite that, they are times when the two women will clash and old wounds will be opened to see the light of day again, but those moments are rare and usually brought on by stress, worry or a topic that presses on a previously opened soft spot from the past!

8- What is your detective’s favourite memory with Rebecca?

One of Val's favourite (and one of the only positive) memories that she can remember in detail is when she saw Rebecca in the audience of her end-of-year college musical performance.

When Valerie had brought it up to Rebecca and mentioned that she would be playing Mina Harker in the production of Dracula, her mum seemed conflicted, something Val would later find a little too amusing once she learns the truth! Yet at the time, it made her believe that Rebecca would be too busy to show up to watch her first and only performance on a stage. So when she spotted her in the audience, she almost burst into tears then and there mid-scene!

9- What is their worst memory with Rebecca?

Her worst memory with Rebecca would be the last time she had begged Rebecca to stay home with her, just to spend some time with her.

Rebecca had told the 13 year old Valerie to stop crying and that she was too old to be acting like a child now, that Rebecca was busy with work and didn't have time for her waterworks. That happened to be the last time Valerie asked Rebecca to stay.

[kimbap-r0ll]

CONGRATULATIONS OM YOUR MILESTONE!!

Can i request 💖 with Azul, Jade, and Floyd? 👀

Hi, thank you for the ask!

Follower Event: Azul, Jade, Floyd with "I used to hear a simple song, that was until you came along"

Azul

He always thought he would be the cowardly, slow, pathetic octopus ever since he could remember. Everyone else in Coral Sea had shimmering fins, beautiful scales. But for him, all he had was tentacles that would scare off or lead to bullying from others. He thought his entire life he would have to fend for himself, find ways to get revenge on those who wronged him but also live with a constant fear of not being perfect. That was until you came into his life

You were on a ship during a storm, a horrible fate that no one expected to see on what seemed like such a nice day. You fell off of the ship and into the sea and struggled to lift yourself up from the darkness of the ocean. Thankfully, Azul had been close by and rescued you. When you woke up, he was ready to dart away, swim as fast as he could away from you so you didn't have to see his hideous body. But all you did was look at him in awe, the same look he probably gave you when he first saw you. Before you could tell him how cool he looked he fled

Throughout his years in NRC, he didn't think he would see you again, that was until you showed up as a transfer student into his dorm. You didn't recognize him because of how much he had changed, let alone you didn't know his name. But whenever you talked about how an amazing person saved you that fateful day, Azul felt his heart skip a beat

You changed the way he felt about himself that day you looked at him with something other than disgust. He felt...proud of himself. He would remind himself about how you looked at him whenever he heard those voices from his head try to take down his esteem over and over again. Oh only if you knew how much you meant to him he would have been with you every minute of your life

For now though, Azul didn't say anything. He chose to try and woo you with his intellect, with the personality that he carefully curated. But when he broke out of that shell, that was when you truly seemed to like him, once again showing him that it's more important to love yourself for who you are.

Jade

Most would see Jade and think he's just a scary eel. He didn't look like he had any weaknesses, but you would be wrong. He was extremely fond of nature, especially the mountains. He never had the chance to go exploring until he ran into you. Literally

You were out in the mountains gathering some mushrooms for research when you heard something scary not too far from your location. Reacting on instinct, you ran the opposite direction and that was when you slammed into Jade. It was then that you two ended up running back down and talking about what you two found in the woods. He never met someone who was as enthusiastic about the mountainside as you

The more he got to talk to you, the more he realized he was slowly falling in love with you. It wasn't just similar interests, but you also treated him as something more than the other half of a pair. You treated him with respect, you let him be loose. For that, he was grateful and he was falling hard for you

Azul and Floyd had an inkling that Jade was dozing in and out of work, often having to call his name multiple times to get his attention. Jade tried his best to not let anyone know about his feelings since he thought it could make him look weak, but Floyd soon said it to him in his face. "You like y/n right?"

Jade would have asked for help in asking you out from the other two, but he denied Floyd's accusations and continued to clean the silverware he was in charge of. You changed the usual cold, calculated twin but perhaps it was something Jade wanted to explore

Floyd

If there was anyone in NRC that all students were afraid of, it would be Floyd. The man was unpredictable, fast, strong, and a pure menace. But instead of being afraid when he approached you, Ace, and Deuce, you stood your ground and looked at him in his eyes. You even agreed to play a bit of tag with the eel, something most people would warn against

Floyd was starting to like you as a playmate, sort of like he had someone to tease or chase every day. But after playing around with you, the two of you would talk and he would learn more about you. Soon, he started to like you for more than your courage but also all of the little things that you did. Floyd was extremely good at spotting small details (when he wanted to that is). The small laugh you would let out when talking about a fond memory, the way your eyes lit up when he greeted you, all made his heart jump a bit

Floyd walked into Azul's office one day, grabbing a seat and setting his feet up on Azul's desk. "Is there something you wanted? And quit acting so casually in here," Azul looked up from his paperwork to the twin. "Yeah, I have a crush on someone, how do I ask them out?"

Azul nearly spit out his tea all over the contracts he was organizing. Floyd was never one to cut corners, but since when did he have a crush on someone? Azul asked about the details but Floyd soon said that he would rather get advice from someone with dating experience and was quickly ushered out of Azul's office. Floyd would have to find ways to ask you out on his own, which would probably be running up to you, hugging you, and then saying to date

Floyd likes people who are brave, who are able to give him excitement in his life. But you were more than that, you seemed to make him feel soft. He viewed you as something more than just someone else to play tag with, and he wanted to confess these feelings to you as soon as possible

[the-void-writes]

6, 8, 14, 38, 52, 53, 72

For Will and Dante 👀

[sorry it's so many lol]

You don’t have to apologize for letting me talk about my favorite boys 🤣💖

6. What sense do they most rely on?

Touch is what grounds Dante back in reality, what gives him comfort after years of isolating himself. And Will relies on a different kind of touch, one that he can sense with his powers. He can feel the objects around him through this, and control them to the best of his abilities.

8. What is their favorite fairy tale?

I think Will would love the story of Cinderella, because they both just wanted to be free of their abusive living spaces. And Dante secretly loves Beauty and the Beast, because in that world a monster can still find love.

14. Detail one secret shame your character feels.

Dante’s secret shame is shooting the guy who killed Vani. He was angry and disoriented, and when he came to his senses, he knew that he had acted out of selfishness. He got to see the guy one last time through magic, seeing that the guy survived his wounds and was living with his family. In that moment, he was glad he hadn’t actually killed him, that he hadn’t torn a family apart, but he still carries the guilt with him.

Will’s shame is breaking his father’s arm. In the moment, it was entirely justified. It was self-defense against the man who threw him down the stairs. But when he saw how his sisters and mother looked at him that day, it broke his heart. He truly believed that he had become a monster.

38. What bad habits do they have?

Will pulls his hair when he’s nervous or panicked, which Dante gets him to stop doing by giving him a wristband.

Dante tends to lean into people’s personal space while talking. He doesn’t even notice it until someone brings it up, but he’s trying to be better.

52. What is your character’s worst flaw?

Will is always paranoid about not being enough for people. He easily believes that his new friends will leave him behind, but they’re trying to help him understand that that’s not the case.

Dante tends to push people away unless he sees a semblance of a connection. Gazali made him upset because he got rewarded for his trauma while Dante was doomed to eternity while his fiancé died back on Earth. Seeing Will brought back memories of Vani, which is why Dante allowed him to get closer, getting him to break down his walls for once.

53. What is your character’s greatest strength?

Will is almost entirely selfless. He will throw himself into any fight to save his friends and family, even if it hurts him in the process.

In a similar way, Dante has a passion for restoring justice. He’ll do whatever it takes to make sure everyone has an equal chance to live, love, fight, or whatever they desire.

72. In a Dungeons & Dragons game, which class would your character be? (wizard, fighter, bard, priest, ranger, etc.)

Dante would either be a rogue or a bard, honestly. One reflects his old vigilante side, and the reflects his current powers as an empath, manipulating people through use of emotion. Will is likely a sorcerer, or maybe a Druid if you want to get creative.

[mermaidsirennikita]

I was absolutely delighted when I found your blog. I love reading your book reviews and I have started reading some of the books you've recommended 💖💖 My question is, do you have any recs of books with steamy scenes where someone does something slightly unexpected. Eg. scene is progressing the usual way and then one character is like "let's try *this*..." and as the reader you're like 👀👀👀(sorry if this doesn't make sense lol)

Hey, thank you so much! That's so sweet, I really appreciate it.

It does make sense to me! I'm not going to limit my answers to HR, in part because HR can sometimes be a little tame in that respect. But alas, it is what my heart (currently) is most drawn to. To cut to the chase...

Act Your Age, Eve Brown by Talia Hibbert--Talia Hibbert is one of my favorite contemporary romance authors. This book is great for a lot of reasons. The rep is good; both the hero and heroine are on the autism spectrum, and the heroine is a plus size Black woman. But might I also call out a scene where the hero is hanging out with the heroine on her bed (as friends, though theres's a ton of tension at this point) and he suddenly finds her sparkly purple dildo... And proceeds to fuck her with it. Fucking your partner with a dildo is not that crazy (at all) but it is something you don't see in a lot of mainstream romance. Especially when it's the first sex scene. I think what I love about this scene is that they go from being totally platonic to him fucking her with a giant glittery pink dildo so quickly. Like, all it took was him SEEING the dildo and suddenly... It was on.

A Lady by Midnight by Tessa Dare--It's nothing crazy, but the heroine goes from being tenderly deflowered to the hero being like "SIT ON MY FACE IMMEDIATELY" very quickly, and I love that. Face sitting is not in historical romance enough. Why? I want to live in a PROPER country.

Any Duchess Will Do by Tessa Dare--I truly did not expect the scene where he responded to her bitching about how they can't be together because she's a lowly barmaid and he's a duke by... bending her over a desk and fucking her while they recite his many courtesy titles. He thrusts after every title is acknowledged.

A Lady for A Duke by Alexis Hall--Now that this is out, I can get into a bit more detail. To be clear, as long as it happens between consenting adult HUMANS, sex is sex. Define it how you want. But I think that I entered this book, knowing that it was about a trans heroine, with this heteronormative idea that the hero would be penetrating the heroine. While that could happen in their lives later, that is not what happens in the book. And it was SO refreshing. The hero has been pegged in the past and he is DOWN to be fucked. It's a super hot scene because they're so connected and she's having sex for the first time and is having the time of her life and it is! Great!

The Duke I Tempted by Scarlett Peckham--I wouldn't say it was unexpected, really, because you know from the jump that the hero is sexually submissive and it's fairly obvious that in order for him to have a monogamous, sexually fulfilling marriage he's going to need a wife who's into being his domme in the bedroom. But still, the scene is something you basically never read in HR. She has her way with him--restraints and punishment and all. It's great.

The Earl I Ruined by Scarlett Peckham--The hero being a dom in this one is less unexpected, but I seriously didn't see him having the heroine masturbate with an apple while he watches in order to preserve her virginity coming. He also rides her face at one point, which is honestly? Not that common in HR or mainstream contemporaries, from what I've read. I think that kind of... I don't want to say "forced" because it's very consensual, but that kind of rough BJ is not super common in romance, because there's this perception that women aren't into that? And some aren't, but some are, so it was nice to see.

Suddenly You by Lisa Kleypas--Honestly, this was pretty brief but it surprised me, in part because it's HR and in part because of when it was published. Anyway, he fingers her ass; nothing crazy, but you don't see it in HR often.

How to Love A Duke in Ten Days by Kerrigan Byrne--See above, though this literally doesn't happen until the very end. Also, she is hugely pregnant during, so good for them!

The Love Hypothesis by Ali Hazelwood--There's only one sex scene in this, and though I like it, I wouldn't say it's that unusual. But I was (pleasantly) surprised to see him eating her out AFTER coming inside her. Because for real, don't see that a lot in mainstream romance. And after reading that I was like yeah!!! He should!!!! You go science dude Kylo Ren named Adam!!!

Desperate Measures by Katee Robert--The entire book, lmao. It's Jafar/Jasmine in a mafia-type AU. It is very dubcon. And I do love it.

[kiyoors]

Girl I see you crushing hard on Himekawa 😘

Gush to me about him 💖 tell me everything

KIKI IDEK WHERE TO BEGIN !!!!

first off: thank you for letting me gush♥️♥️♥️ bc lord knows I NEED TO GET SOME STUFF OFF MY CHEST ABOUT THIS PRECIOUS BOY

ksjdjdnck okay can we just talk about his lil head band first?? like all of the Tsubakihara team wears one and i just fine that so frikin adorable !! like 🥺🥺🥺 and the perfect bow he ties at the back? it has me MELTING. like, could you imagine him being nervous before a match and he asks you to tie it for him instead? and he’d be so shy about it too, and, god forbid you ever find out about it, but he sees it as a good luck charm too!!!

and like going off of that: he has this boyish charm to him that i absolutely ADORE. like. you don’t understand how sweet i find it when a guy gets nervous about something or someone they like, and i feel like he’d be the kind to be that way. which hngg it just stems off to him having a crush and he’s so shy and doesn’t really know how to manage it,, like, all he knows is that he likes you and wants to be close to you and he finds that he’s able to hold on to these small bits of courage in him by just asking you to be with him. like yes, you make him nervous, but you also give him the strength to pursue you, too.

and aND AND once he does get to confessing and the guaranteed awkwardness of the first few dates (which btw is so endearing to me too bc he’s trying) you’ll get to see him grow and flourish and gain confidence in himself. and he comes so be this easygoing, confident guy who, really, has no need to project himself bc his presence is just so steady and gentle that you can’t help but want to orbit around him, be as close to him as possible.

not to say that he isn’t absolutely whipped for you tho ohmygod.

even after years of being together, he’ll still blush when you kiss his cheek, or his brow, just under the cute headband you tied for him; his heart will still skip a beat every time you reach for his hand or curl yourself at his side. he absolutely looses it every time you look at him with this gentle, loving look in your eyes bc holy shit, it’s for him. it’s all for him. and you’re just helping him dig a deeper hole for himself bc there is no way, no universe, in which he doesn’t love you more.

he’s so gentle. like, borderline careful around you, and it’s mostly because of the insecurity that used to plague his younger self. he’s gotten a lot better, but there are still nights when he cringes when looking back at his past mistakes and beats himself up for not having known better. he can be hard on himself like that. but you’re right there next to him, ready to soothe him, kissing his jaw and willing him to forgive his younger self for all the missed opportunities. he likes it when you trace tiny hearts and incoherences on his chest with your index finger, running your hand through his fluffy hair; it helps him remember that, while his younger self did make a lot of mistakes, he also managed to secure the one person that’ll bring him happiness forever: you. and for that he’ll be eternally grateful.

he’ll get the biggest, blushiest smile whenever he thinks of you too. like, his heart is going a million a minute and you’re running towards him, jumping into his arms and he can’t help but laugh because you are the source of all his joys, dreams, and aspirations. like you make him want to be better for you, and he’ll be truly trying so hard, because you deserve the absolute best.

he’ll remind you every chance he gets. not really in words, but in the little things he does for you, remembers about you. he’ll know exactly where you need him, his big, steady hands at you waist, your back, your cheeks (ahem other places too but this is supposed to be soft n wholesome👀), he’ll kiss you softly, and if he’s really wanting to desperately tell you, remind you, of just how much you mean to him, he’ll whisper it to your ear like it’s some ancient truth of the universe that cannot be disproven. he’s as sure as the air that he breaths: he loves you.

in conclusion, himekawa is the absolute love of my life and ohmyfuckingod i’m gonna cry where can i get one in real life

[jinhyun]

Hiii 💓 i just read the latest update of watercolor and i was going to leave some of my comments under the update but since i had so much to say i thought i should send you an ask again lol 🥲

but wow okay!!! first of all this update was too much fun to read as always! I am still so happy that you decided to write this part of the story out because it gave us so much more detail not only about what happened during that night but also about how hyunjin + yn are feeling 😗

while i read through this i was thinking of how you do such an amazing job at portraying the confusion that hyunjin is really feeling. we don’t fully know what’s going on in his heart or his mind but that’s the whole point because he doesn’t understand it himself! he doesn’t know how he feels and that’s why he acts so irrationally… and i think you’re doing a great job at bringing those feelings of confusion to life. Hyunjin is all over the place rn and while he may be frustrating to some i find him to be soo fun to read haha. through his actions you can still get the idea of how he’s feeling though and i can’t wait for him to start coming to terms with his feelings.

i am so glad yn is letting herself have fun once in a while despite her feelings for hyunjin! my girl deserves it and it’s so cute how sweet changbin is with her 😩 also the part where hyunjin said he wished it was him causing yn to make those pretty sounds HELLO??? when i tell you i screamed jdndkcnd i wasn’t expecting that at all.

hyunjin and yn at end of this update were so cute i loved the little back and forth teasing they had going on and how effortlessly they seem to speak to one another now despite some tension still being there. i’ll always be team hyunjin even when he’s being a little dumb lol 🤧🤧 but i kinda appreciate how hyunjin seeks more opportunities to be alone with her now when at the beginning of this series hyunjin practically avoided that at all costs. i hope he doesn’t confuse yn and her feelings in the future so hopefully he figures it all out soon 🤗

thank you again for going out of your way to give us a written update this time! it made a difference and it was a great choice :) i always get so excited about this story as you know and i end up writing long ass messages in your inbox ssjkfsbfm although you said you love long messages so i’m hoping it’s okay 💖 im sorry if some of the things i said don’t make total sense hahaha i’m still a little excited rn and i hope you understand everything i’m trying to say!

PS i hope you’re doing great omg! keep taking care of yourself and stay healthy. thank you for all of your hard work and i can’t wait for future updates :D❣️

omg helloooo!! this kind of asks make me so happy, it's okay 🥺💕

ahhh, i'm happy it was fun to read! and yeah, it was supposed to be a fake texts part but as i planned it out i realised there were feelings (especially hyunjin's lol) that i wanted to portray and could only do so through a drabble... and i am so happy to read that you think i was able to actually portray that 😭 yup, he truly does not know what he's feeling and he is all over the place so let's cut him some slack although hopefully he'll come to terms with it soon 🤧

yesss, she deserves to have her own fun and it's good that she's finally realised that and throwing herself out there. LMAO trust me, not even hyunjin was expecting to have that kind of thoughts regarding y/n 😹 but he did think that and there is no turning back 👀

they're cute when hyunjin is not trying to push her away :( i'm happy to be able to show those little moments of theirs from time to time, i make myself soft lmao

yeah, there has been some kind of development when it comes to hyunjin wanting to spend some time with her... i wonder why that is 🙄 kdñajd but it's good to see him no longer trying to avoid her at all costs so far

thank you SO MUCH for reading and going out of your way to leave this kind of review!! it really means the world to me 💖 i understood everything you tried to say perfectly so don't worry about that!

honestly all i can say is thank you over and over 😭😭😭 i hope you're doing great! stay safe 🥰

[foreverxdaydreaming]

About

JJ ❀ ’97 ❀ She/her ❀ Bi ❀ INFP

♏️☀️ / ♉️🌙 / ♋️ ⬆️

(Formerly @jungjijel; the url I had for rougly 7 yrs before needing a change.)

Kpop fan since 2010. Multifandom to the brink of madness (hence the title).

Love to dance, read/write, draw, play play video games, watch anime, etc. Have a knack/love for many of the creative outlets such as the above~

I have like 10 blogs blogs now, all of them are linked in the post in my blog description. (You can also find it here, for your convenience.)

Ult group: Girls’ Generation 💖

Current obsession: NCT

Fav. color: Pink! (Though I love many colors, this one is my top favorite.)

I talk a lot in the tags. Usually shitpost-level material tbh, but there are diamonds in the rough, you know?

Lots of puns & jokes ahead, as well as excessive swearing & emojis/emoticons (consider yourself forewarned~)

Animal lover; especially a sucker for pics/videos of puppies and kittens 💗

I don’t really film kpop covers anymore, but I used to do choreos + was in a dance group.

I love love love Pokémon (and Eevee), so it’s not a rare occurrence whatsoever for them to make appearances on here~

I love pink/pastels/photography/etc, so there will be a lot of that intermixed with all of the kpop content on my blog. A lot (and I mean a lot) of memes as well. The occasional shitposts (some by yours truly).

My askbox is always open, as are my messages. I’ve been told I give good advice, and always offer a shoulder/ear for whom it may be necessary. Also just open to converse, I don’t bite! Not too hard, anyway.👀 So do feel free to stop by anytime! (replies may be delayed)

Some of my most commonly used tags, if you find yourself curious:

#my post: posts i made myself (since so much of my blog is made up of rb’s)

#aes: aesthetic photos/misc content

#photography: pretty straightforward

#art: for beautiful art/fanart

#gifs/#gifset: most commonly sets of kpop gifs, but sometimes varies

#gfx: for graphics, or edits

#moodboard/#kpop moodboard: self explanatory; i share a lot of these btw

#memery: my memes tag

#funny stuff: for funny content

#animals: for cute animal content

#pink: for pretty pink pictures/content

#pastel: for softer tones and cute pics

#me/#personal: for misc personal posts (many of these wind up getting deleted anyway)

#notes to self: important posts, whether positive msgs or self-care tips, or just plain harsh truths to remember

#positivity/#motivation/#wholesome: if you’re ever in need of a pick-me-up, these just might do the trick!

#resources and references: important links, such as to school tips or study material, or even resume tips

#important: either posts/news that are meaningful or are of pressing urgency

#astrology: a lot of zodiac posts

#tag games/#ask games: games i was tagged in, asks i received, etc.

#asks/#answered: if you sent in an ask and aren’t sure if it got answered, it should be in one of these tags! (otherwise it’s either sitting in my inbox.. or tumblr got hungry again and ate it)

#picrew/#anime yourself: character generator sire that many use to make versions of themselves (or their oc’s)

#long post/#tldr warning: posts that require a lot of reading and/or scrolling

I don’t always remember to add tags, but when I do, group/member names should usually be there! (Still trying to get myself to stop being so lazy and actually get back into the habit of tagging my reblogs, my apologies.)

Will edit this as I see fit, as I am not sure of what else to add right now. I think this should be a pretty good indication of my blog and myself. It’s been a pleasure having you, and thank you if you read through all this. I wish you a great day/night and hope you take care!

[astrxlis-archive]

—This ask is for your reply that was posted on [ March 27 2022 ] !! (i apologize for replying this v late;; since we always tend to have a new topic every reply tbh 🤣)

First of all, i def appreciate you still replying to asks despite your busy sched 😭💖 i'll be always treasuring your messages so your effort wouldn't be wasted 🥰

I do think the reason why it's always mine is because there's a lot of asks that i have sent you with + tagging those posts with my alias— it's still interesting to me even after you told me that 🤭

For fridays, we only have half day classes however it's in the morning (vs. our usual sched in the afternoon) :DD and i'll do my best avoiding not sleeping 🤧 i just happen to not get tired always (but i got drained so fast)!!

i do see your point about xiao being confused that you don't seem to be like the people who goes like "omg an adeptus 🤩🤩" (ngl i cracked up reading this 😭😭) maybe because you treating xiao just like a normal person to talk to will ease his heart 👀

My shyness, hmm it's always been there actually 😌 but i try to not be shy when i have to seem confident. This is one reason why kokomi is quite a relatable character to me?? She's an introvert, however as a leader and divine priestess of watatsumi she have to act confident around her people.

If you do think you need to learn from me on that aspect, i do think i have to learn about how you get in touch with people using your ~emotional intelligence~ which i lack,,😔

Very much relating to how we become a hypocrite of our own words too, but well i think we just don't have enough motivation to be a man of our own words 😩 but it's nice to know that you're still trying your best!! That's one of the things that matters ngl 💗💕

About my diagnosis... I have informed you about this earlier so i see no need to put it here again 😌👌i think you asking more about this isn't intruding since i think you just wanna be more aware you know 😤💕 and thank you for your kind words, Fox!! Around this week, i'm starting to get better too! :D I can function little by little now + i have told our class adviser about this too (bc i think one of the side effects of the meds can cause sleepiness?? + I slept so late that i was sleeping like a log) yesterday since i failed to attend our friday classes 😌 i woke up at 12 nn around that day.

Truly, my reaction to you saying i have a way with words is the first time i heard of that compliment towards me??!? 😤😤😤 So i of course need time to process it and see my self at your own PoV 😅🤭

MOST IMPORTANTLY: when i was reading this message before, i cant help it but smile and giggle(?) due the fact that you said you kinda considered me as a friend echoes in my brain for days 😩 like i was just sitting in piece and then i remembered this part of your message reply— it made me go like "omg,,, they called me a friend??🥺 their friend,,,😳 omg,," i feel so honored 😭😭 i'll do my best as your friend 😤💞

Interesting to know you had a uquizzes phase too 🤣 i feel so sad i have taken almost all quizzes that's interesting to me,,,,, yandere bnha quiz 😱 that's wild 🤔🤣 the description must be very detailed 😰 i'm sorry for finding this funny 😭 hmm i don't draw anymore because... The flame of the candle has long been burnt out ever since. Meaning that my passion for it have vanished, yet i still posseses the creativity skill within me. And i hope the moment i join genshinblr, i would not quit writing too, given the fact that i would usually pick a new hobby then suddenly abandon it <///3 i dont really do fanarts back then but before i do original and half-assed random artworks 👌

i'm also glad that you have read a new take or perspective about noelle's situation 🥰 i do wonder about that too..

it was nice knowing that you're getting comfy with me as well 😌 💖

me 🤝you

Having trouble with the opposite "x" aspect in the "INxP".

Ngl your messages gives me so much warmth (in a good and loving way) like i think to myself how you connect with others 🥺💗

Ooooh pediatrics ?? Now that's another interesting thing,, but i'll be looking forward to what field in medicine you're going to choose in the future !! 😚 Im just here cheering up on u! 🤔 i can't give you any tips in dealing with kids if i were to recollect my hazy memories when i was a kid bc im a well behaved kid b4🤩😭 what i can only remember is that i had tantrums outta nowhere lmaos 😔😭

same with what you said, i think infp and intp are quite a good pair of friends 👀💞✨

Please do share stuff you've learned in your class/es!!🤩🤩🤩 i'm very much in for what you had learned, so you can let your med student self to talk about those :> i, of course, cannot relate much but i try my best to understand it as much as possible :D

Also, don't think about not explaining stuff or defining some words, google got my back !!👌

i definitely enjoy your questions especially that they help continue the flow of the conversation 🥺♥️ it's obvious that in my replies i just really answer your questions and not ask anything 😩 i just have no idea what to ask ;; it may not seem to you that you're thankable for it but i feel like telling you these simple nice things you've done that made my heart so warm <33

here it is again 😩😩 "i like talking to you" guest what, me too!! 🤩😤🥰

Please kindly break it to me about the accounting and business stuff 👀 i wanna know about it more 😩 once again me 🤝 you in terms of getting rich by doing absolutely nothing 😌✨

Also i didn't expect that reply 🥺 thank you for considering my safety and privacy (even if i wouldnt mind but still thank you for being do considerate 🥺)

one thing i have to say about the stroganoff in your reply is that: i dont know how to cook 😭😭 shh i cant also explain why i cant because i also dont know 🤣 but maybe i should overcome my fear of turning on the stove- 😌 idk i always feel like if i handled the stove our house might explode 🤔 and i have experienced being blamed so many times (especially as the eldest) and is so tired of it 😌

i've also viewed the IG acc you follow 👀 the page is full of so many fluffy pets 🥺💞 i get it now why it is named jupiter and friends 😤 idk but,, jupiter surely got so many friends to accompany it😂🥰

thank you for your support too!! I'll be sure to let you know (i might forget btw;;;) if ever i have joined the genshinblr community 😚 let's grow together and support each other!! ♥️

Well i may not be knowledgeable about the html stuff in here,, but i could give you a few ideas based on how you would like things to look like, things you are interested in (like Nier) or your favorite kind of aesthetic and vibe >:3 i remember trying to plan what theme i want my blog to be remembered of, or how can i be unique from the rest of the blogs,, because my theory for this is that if your blog is unique or nice looking you have more chances of getting remembered. 🤔🤔

And yoimiya 😳 (i have to admit i love her as a character ) that's really interesting to me!! 😳 I get your point of associating her with me too, but one thing i could assure is that: im not good with kids unlike her 😂 dont worry about not being very good at understanding, because i feel the same way 🥺and do let me know if you have another character you associate me with!! i'm very curious about it 🤩

I haven't seen turning red yet, but i've seen many people are talking about it👌 i might watch that when i have the time!! Very glad to here that you took a break from studying to watching a movie instead😚🤩 it's like treating yourself too for working hard in your studies💗

Abt that quiz, even if i chose the same answers i have selected before i got jean too(so many times) and idk what on earth happened bc my actual result there was supposed to be diluc- 💀 this is the start where i question if i do kin him 😌

Idk how it is for your sisters but maybe we do relate about being the eldest/elder one 😂

Take care Fox!! 💕💕💕

— 🍰.

hellooo 🍰!!!

first of all, thank you so much for still replying to that 😂 it’s alright if it’s late, so dw!! we somehow keep the conversation going 🥰

yep, i agree with you! it’s probably because of that, but it’s also a comfort to me? like, you’re a consistent person around here and that means a lot. thank you! 💕💕

oh gosh, days where classes only happen in one period are such a blessing. i’m so jealous, even if it’s in the mornings. also, i cracked up too, especially because i keep reading the “omg” like the third vine, so i’m just here like 😂😂😂 anyways… i just want my little xiaoxiao to be happy 🤷

okay so i finally did kokomi’s quest (because the new event MADE me do it, not because i planned to – the things i do for primos and xingqiu istg) and i can def see your point clearer now. maybe it’s a good thing i took a while to reply. she’s also overworked, much like jean, because she has such an important role in watatsumi… i swear i wanted to let her sleep for a while longer 😔 maybe (hopefully) we can teach each other a little bit more about our types of intelligence! ☺️

i was really happy to read you were feeling better, and it still warms my heart to read it again 🥰 i still haven’t checked dan’s blog for your diagnosis, but i will! it’s in my to-do list once midterms are over. i’m glad you told your class adviser! having someone know what you’re going through, even if it’s just medication side effects, can help a lot. and dude?? you absolutely do have a way with words?? like, how come no one has told you this before? 🧍🧍🧍 this fox is too stunned to speak

about doing your best being my friend, all we gotta do is be honest about our feelings and talk things out, you know? i think it’s the best way to support each other! 💕 but let me know what you think abt this!

no worries for finding it funny LMAO tbh i was a bit creeped out by the results and i giggled like crazy bc dang, the person who made that quiz went all out 👀 my uquiz phase come and go tbh 😂 since you sent me those two quizzes i've been sorta checking the website for new ones 🤭🤭

and yeah, i can relate to that – the passion for something burning out. i’m sorry you went through that with drawing, but it’s nice to know you still draw sometimes instead of dropping it completely. and hey, even if you do end up joining and quitting, what matters is that you were here! and i’m sure people would be delighted to have you around as a writing blog as well. 💖💖

about my specialty – i’ll let you know 😂 and thanks for cheering me on!! tbh not even i can give myself advice on how to deal with kids bc i’m not good with them but it makes me so happy when i wave to a random kid and they wave back or say hi fkndkssn 🙈

aw man 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 look, i’m just really glad you take time off your day to come here and talk to me, so like– yes!! please tell me stuff!! related to me or not 💖

so, this is me breaking it out to you: you’re so so so wrong about not having to work in that field 😩😮‍💨😩😮‍💨 THEY WORK SO HARD— listen i took two (2!!) months of business management and i quit because sweet jesus the amount of theory they have backing their practice???? just. no. not for me at all. and sometimes i think people in that field are overworked. but it’s a major that opens doors, absolutely. you can work anywhere. about accounting, my mom has a degree in it and there’s a lot more theory than i ever thought; it’s like business but with math. sorry if i crushed your hopes ☹️

if it helps, i only recently learned how to cook 😂😂 which is why i go to my sister’s for food sometimes. take your time overcoming your fear, though!! the stove is not going anywhere (and it’s not going to explode 😂) and maybe you can blackmail your sibling into cooking with you so if stuff goes wrong you’re not alone 👀

juniper’s account gives me life sometimes 😂 the fact most animals are (unreleaseable) wild animals is very informative about what they’re like too. and i’ll remind you to let me know when you join! consider this your first reminder! 😂😂 let’s goooooo 💖

i’m not very knowledgeable with html either, so we’re on the same boat, but please tell me your ideas!! you’re absolutely right about your aesthetic being how you’re remembered (along your writing if you're a writing blog–)

about yoimiya – getting along with kids was not the first thing on my mind tbh 😂 especially bc i remembered you saying stuff about your sibling 👀 and after kokomi’s quest, i started to see the ways i can associate you with her, but i still need a better grasp on her personality 😅 let me know what you think of the movie when/if you do!

so, as requested, i’ll send any questions i have in my reply for the next ask (probably tomorrow) 😩

i hope you’re doing well, 🍰!! 💛💛💛