#true is that nobody wants to debate with him because he'll bother the shit out of you so everybody agrees

[macravishedbymactavish]

Checkmate (David "Hesh" Walker x GN! Reader)

TW: Traumatized Hesh, mentions of Canon Ghosts ending. Maybe if the mood strikes I'll make this a series. It's been sitting in my drafts forever.

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"I only run when being chased" he replied smoothly, giving you a boyish smirk. Face slowly falling when your expression didn't change. Remaining serious.

"Then who's chasing you?" You asked in a soft tone, watching as the gears behind his eyes started to move. Trying desperately to brush this off with humor, but realizing:

Shit, you have a point.

"Right now, you and the staring" he chuckled dryly. Eyes looking everywhere but at you. The question made him uncomfortable, nervous, vulnerable.

"You play a lot of things off as jokes. Like nothing truly bothers you -- I don't think that's true though. You don't either" you reached forward, grabbing your drink to take a sip. "It's safe here. You can open up"

"If I open up anymore, I'll break my spine" you resisted rolling your eyes at the metaphor. "I'm an open book. Ask me anything" he challenged.

"What happened on the train?" May as well aim for the throat. "Why did you decide on the checkmate plan?" You watched as he clenched his jaw momentarily. Letting a long breath out through his nose, finally looking you in the eye before he spoke. Eyes begging for understanding.

Understanding that he tried. He's trying.

"You know exactly why. Everyone knows why. It's what had to be done. Ask Merrick, he'll agree" The walls were slowly being built back up, he was closing off again.

"What would have happened if you didn't?" This session felt like a chess match. Except he was the only one playing. Planning every move 5 steps before he needed to make it, planning how to retreat, to attack, to divert attention. Right now, he was using his silence as a defense. Waiting for you to continue before confirming his next move.

"David.." You sighed, leaning forward. "This isn't an interrogation, if it was they wouldn't have sent me. Your dad, brother, friends all want you to be okay. That's why I'm here. But I need more information before I can do much".

His eyes pleaded for you to understand he was trying.

Your eyes pleading for him to see you were doing the same.

"It's selfish. If I let him go, he would've kept hunting us. If I let him go, dad would never be avenged. Rorke would have never paid for what he did if I didn't make the call!" He slammed his hands on the table between you two. Expression immediately filling with remorse.

You watched as his face became an open window for the internal debate he was waging. Trying to differentiate what was reality and what wasn't. His mind and surroundings providing different feedback.

"I made the hard call to avenge my family. I know I fucked up and I have to live with that daily. My dad's dead, my brother is gone. I have nobody left." His voice broke as he leaned back, hands shaking as he fell deeper into that rabbit hole.

"Hesh, look at me" you requested, watching as his eyes cast down toward you. Posture still leaned back into his chair. Knowing he was now looking at his friend, not the psych personnel. "You're safe here. You're safe with me".

They're not gone. You saw them yesterday. You desperately wanted to affirm; but you knew that would be overstepping boundaries. Not that accepting your friends case wasn't overstepping. Your neck was on every line, every chopping block, under more risk for scrutiny because of this. Your heart ached day after day working on this; but how do you say no when

A) Resources and personnel are limited

B) Said friends father all but begged you to take this.

"There's a side of him that seems to be reserved for when you're around. He knows you, he trusts you. I'm not sure if I'd trust anyone else with this." Elias explained, sitting across the desk from you. The clinical piece of your mind wondered how much sleep he's gotten since that day. The personal piece knowing next to none, and it's rude to ask.

"You know there's policies, rules and ethics against this." Your heart broke saying the words "I can refer you to a colleague here who'd do fantastic on the case. I'm happy to overlook from an arms length away, but I really shouldn't be the one taking on his case"

"I understand that, but please. If anyone can get him out on the other side. It's going to be you."

How do you say no to that? You've known the Walkers for majority of your adult life. You've grown close to the trio. And if nothing else, Hesh did save your ass. You owe him at least this.

"Thank you" Hesh whispered, reaching his hand out to lay it atop of yours. Holding back a soft sigh, you decided enough was enough for today.

"Anytime. If it's not asking too much, can I give you some homework? Something to occupy your mind while you're cooped up in here" you vaugley gestured to the area around you. An office within a ward. You gave a small smile when he agreed, pulling an old, blank notebook from your bag.

"They won't let you have pens or anything in your room" you cursed yourself for the oversight, making a mental note to speak with the staff later. "When you can though, write out exactly what happened? Even point form. Help give me a full understanding of what happened, why it happened" you explained, handing the book over to him.

--

"How'd it go?" Logan jogged up behind you in the hall later that day, hope radiating off him in waves. It crushed him when he was advised against visiting his brother, especially right now.

"Confidentiality, Lo" you teased lightly "but we have a long way to go. We all knew that" you shrugged.

Hopefully this path leads to some resolution, clarity and forgiveness.

"Is the reason I can't go visit him confidential too?" Coming from anyone else - you may have found offense in the statement. A bite of sarcasm and resentment. Not with Logan - his intentions were clear:

He just wanted his brother back.

"Until we fully figure out what's going on in his head, and how to make positive progress we can't let you guys see him. He's still adamant that you're dead." You gave the youngest Walker a sympathetic look; knowing how close the two were before all this. He nodded, as much as he hated it he also understood.

"My arm is healing pretty well. All things considering" he smiled, pushing the sling off his body to show you. "Doc said I should be able to lose this thing in the next week or so"

You fell into easy conversation with Logan, both of you pretending like your hearts weren't chipping bit by bit. Listening to him give you updates on his broken arm, the movie he convinced Keegan to watch the other night. You told him about the latest recipe you tried for supper, and what you were planning for your coworkers birthday.

Anything to avoid what you both really wanted to talk about.

Taglist: @bloodonmyhands-1221 @bowtruckleninja @v1naco @ai-luni

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