#trigger warning; suicide mention

[kitkatopinions]

I got into this argument recently over the whole “V9 is pro-suicide” thing (it is) and, despite the fact this other person agreed that Ascension is an allegory for suicide, they kept on saying that when I looked at the story through that lens I was “taking it too literally because it’s a fairy tale”

Like… what’s the point in even reading a story if you’re NOT supposed to buy into what they’re trying to say with said story? Am I supposed to ignore all of the characters and the literal world of the story saying that “Ascension is actually a good thing that people should go through” and how Ascension throughout the entire volume is framed as death?

Or how, before Ruby ascends in the first place, she literally says “I don’t want to be me anymore” after being brutalized and then drinks a substance she believes will actively kill herself?

I was told over and over again that “because Ruby chose herself it’s anti-suicide,” but the entire reason she gets to CHOOSE IN THE FIRST PLACE is because she killed herself? The entire thing is a glorified way of saying “if you like yourself, you’ll become a better person for it because you’ll magically realize that you’re perfect the way you are” when that’s literally not true and not how it works?

I’m sorry this is going on for so long. I just wanted to see a different perspective. V9 has consistently fucked me up as a survivor of suicide and I just don’t understand how people can vehemently say that there’s nothing equating to suicide or pro-suicide messaging in this story when they literally admit constantly that suicide is present in the narrative.

I am really upset about whoever this other person is admitting that Ascension is an allegory for suicide but taking the stance of 'but we're not supposed to think about it because this is like a fairy tale.' Does that person not understand fairy tales? Most of them have lessons baked into them. Does that person not understand how media works? Most media has something under the surface, some sort of meaning or intended takeaway or even accidental biases on the part of the writers baked into them. You can watch even the most stupid just there for pure entertainment piece of media - You can watch Alvin and the Chipmunks 2007 and still come out of it understanding that in-between the CGI Chipmunks singing songs and the bad charmless acting of the guy who played Dave (my sis and I believe that role should've instead been played by Brendan Fraser,) you're supposed to get the take-away that kids should be allowed to be treated like kids and not used just for money-making and that found family is valuable and should be embraced and not pushed away out of fear of commitment. RWBY should tell us something, it should have messages and takeaways, especially because the very start of rwby presents us with the conflicting beliefs of Salem and Ozpin - Salem insisting that mankind's passion and strength will always wane and darkness will take over, with Ozpin countering that mankind's victory will be found in 'the simpler things she's long forgotten, things that require a smaller, more honest soul' while we see Ruby. The entire thing is full of (admittedly contradictory) morals and take-aways and meanings. Some of them are bad, some of them reflect the biases of the writers, or the bigotry that Miles Luna and Kerry Shawcross never deconstructed. It's not just there to be pretty lights, and it's actually imo wildly irresponsible for people to not try to analyze rwby.

"Yeah, Ascension is like suicide, but we're not meant to think about it" that person can fuck off. The trend of 'media isn't meant to be critically consumed or analyzed, it's just there for us to like and have fun' is the worst and it's destroying thoughtful media. I swear to God if the Lord of the Rings movies came out today people would be like "yeah I guess it's probably informed by Tolkien's time in war or whatever, but we're not supposed to think about it or take it seriously, it's just a make-believe story."

(I will be talking about Ruby's attempted suicide down below, please be advised and don't read if that sort of thing might be triggering to you.)

Also, on the note of "because Ruby chose herself in the end, it's anti-suicide' that really is just... Wildly wrong. Ruby chose to commit suicide. She thought that drinking the tea was going to essentially remove her from existence, erase all her memories, transform her body into something else, that she would not be 'Ruby Rose' at all and would instead be replaced by someone better. That is her hating herself, that is her wanting to die. Just because she thought something else would take her place doesn't mean she herself wasn't trying to commit suicide. Basically what the rwby writers wrote was the equivalent of a story where a girl pops pills in an attempt to kill herself, but is clinging to life, and while she's lying on her deathbed, her consciousness meets God and they give her the choice to either die or wake up, and she decides to wake up. Although this in and of itself would be incredibly dicey (irl people don't get to decide POST-ATTEMPT whether they really want to go through with it while getting the option to see their long dead mom and get assurance of her affection before they choose, and acting like that's the case is damaging especially to teens and kids,) the rwby writers make it worse! They make it worse by showing Ruby's closest friends including her older sister essentially sit around her bedside having smiling happy chats with each other and assuring each other that they'll be happy for Ruby if she DOES choose to die and that it's her choice and that it could be a good thing.

This is so damaging. And it's so damaging to show Ruby just coming out of it unscathed, smiling, having her role as a leader back and accepting it with happiness, having her struggles just waved away as if they hadn't happened. It's an allegory for a suicide where Ruby gets an 'are you sure about this' menu screen that people irl don't ever get, gets to see her mom and hear her mom say she loves her which people irl don't get, gets to talk to God and be told 'encouraging things' which is something people irl don't get, and gets to come out of it seemingly better than ever with no consequences which is something people irl don't get, and her friends and family don't have to grapple with what happened because they can just dismiss it as 'Ruby choosing to go to therapy' essentially somehow, and then the whole thing is just left in the past - while NEO COMMITS SUICIDE TOO AND IT'S TREATED LIKE A GOOD THING DESPITE THE FACT THAT THERE IS NO REASON TO BELIEVE SHE'LL 'CHOOSE HERSELF.' Which just makes the allegory three hundred times more damaging if you ask me.

On top of how bad that is, we have the Paper Pleasers, we have an example of people that didn't come back as themselves, but as entirely new people. They killed themselves, and didn't 'chose themselves,' instead destroying their bodies and their memories, essentially wiping themselves from existence, and it was framed as an exclusively good thing that Jaune needed to recognize was just a part of letting people make their own choices - framed alongside not only the fact that Ruby herself had yet to choose to come back as herself but also the fact that Penny just chose to die in the last season after begging for death over and over and getting Jaune himself to help her commit suicide... That lesson is so much worse. The paper pleasers killing themselves was presented in the narrative of RWBY as a positive, good thing despite the fact that they did not come back as themselves. If what happened to Ruby is the equivalent of someone popping pills and miraculously surviving by meeting God and getting the choice to return, the Paper Pleasers are the equivalent to an entire village of people willingly drinking poison in an attempt to meet God because they believe they'll ascend and shed their mortal forms so they can no longer be damaged and may carry on their assigned duty and reason for living as perfect creatures, and... Where have I heard that before? And the rwby writers present it as a good thing they were right about! The rwby writers present suicide as not only a sometimes good choice that helps you grow, but a needed choice that you're worse off for not taking - and coupled with Penny, it's horrible.

People have this idea that because Ruby, Neo, and the Paper Pleasers believed that something would continue on living from the remnants of who they once were, it's not suicide, but... That's very much so the way I thought about suicide growing up as an evangelical Christian. When I struggled with thoughts of suicide in my early teen years, that’s how I thought of it, and realizing that my friends and family WOULD care and WOULDN'T be able to accept it and WOULDN'T think of it as a good thing was one of the things that helped me start to get better. If I had seen RWBY in those days, seeing volume nine and seeing them praise the suicide of the people pleasers while smilingly deciding they'd be happy if Ruby destroyed herself would've fucked me up, and as it is right now, it was still triggering and upsetting to me.

I'm so sorry that this season was hard for you as a survivor of suicide, and that people are being so willfully stubborn in their refusal to see how damaging it was. What the rwby writers may have been intending to make - a story about a suicidal girl realizing she is enough - is not what they actually put into their show. Instead, accidentally or otherwise, they glorified suicide in incredibly damaging ways, and the fans need to recognize that. They need to stop with their 'tree therapy' jokes and their 'drink the tea' cracks, and just accept that the writers got it wrong. Saying 'it's just a fairy tale so why would I think about it' is a ridiculously stupid cop-out. Like, if people aren't even thinking through anything in RWBY, then why are they even watching it? If people aren't engaging with it, aren't getting anything out of it, won't even try to think about the themes and morals and what's being communicated, then why watch it in the first place?

[thefrsers]

I'm not going anywhere.

[fridayiminlovemp3]

the fact that this is real is beyond horrifying

[neshatriumphs]

Aight. Short lil' sweet, sad, whatever update and shit. Trigger warnings for mental illness fuckery and pills, etc.

The other day, for the first time since 2008 or so, your favorite bitch tried to self terminate. I don't wanna get too graphic but many pills and several pillows were used until I was placed in restraints by somebody hopped up on drugs.

I cried a lot, got sick, flooded with exhaustion and anxiety, went to work, and came home to the openings of a manic phase.

I am in said manic phase this moment. I have been doing housework for over 12 hours and rest nor sleep are on the horizon. I have had some tough conversations, but cannot contact some people, because they will try to send me to a facility.

Also. My rent was almost failed because of my roommate. I am not interested in ending my life, though I am still interested in my life ending.

I simply needed to get it off of my chest. I've been suffering in silence for months, but the past few days were the hardest it's been in years.

If you're still reading, I am both sorry and appreciative.

[sm-baby]

How has Mei not killed herself/ anyone yet?

She tried that

She already has

Alcohol poisoning... Not that it was on purpose, but she wouldn't have minded to die that way. No one but the other servants cared. The queen would have ABSOLUTELY went " ur not allowed to do that" or " took you long enough to wake up. Youre behind on work.

Her job also involves calling shots on the more... persistent Mistresses.

[flowerscentedartist]

Trigger warning

Ink: And get this! Their suicide note was stuck to the fridge with a cookie monster magnet!

Ink: And all that was on it was "Ink's fault"!

Ink: I'm Ink by the way

Ink: WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO THEM!

[drabsyo]

Are you ever going to draw more for your Heather's Murder Mystery AU? I would love to see more art of it! If not, that's okay

something something obligatory "Veronica and Heather are all alone in the hospital after Heather is trying to recover from her stab wounds and the killer is one of their friends (?)" scene, and oh they've just confessed their feelings for each other earlier because seeing the other one get hurt made them realize how badly they want each other in their lives

welcome to Act Three

[lbulldesigns]

AITAH FOR GHOSTING MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS FOR THREE YEARS, FOR MY OWN MENTAL HEALTH?

Posted 7th of January, 2024

Disclaimer: mentions of self-harm, violence, and attempted suicide.

Please bear with me. This post will be long.

I (20f) have been estranged from my family for the past three years.

I want to start off by saying that my family aren't bad people. They were never abusive, and they did care for me, but they could never understand me or the full extent of my issues.

Some background. When I was around five, my sister (26f), we'll call her V, and I witnessed our parents' death at the hands of some trigger-happy Enforcers. We don't know why they decided our parents deserved to die, but they did, and we were left orphaned when the authorities couldn't find any other family to take us in.

We bounced around in the system for a while, fearing being torn from each other at any moment, before a family friend was able to foster and then officially adopt us. Our AD (adoptive dad) was a godsend, he was and still (to my knowledge) is the most patient and gentle man I know. Despite looking like a wolf LOL.

Along with gaining a new father we also gained two brothers (twin 23m) the older twin (C) takes after our dad, Kind and patient. The younger twin (M) however is a little nasty bitch, who took upon himself to make my life in particular an ongoing hell. He was never physically abusive, but he was verbally abusive. It felt like not a day would go by when he wasn't putting me down and treating my existence like it was something insignificant. He never had a problem with V, just me.

For the first six years everyone else would defend me, put him in his place, and overall hold him accountable but at some point, they stopped holding him accountable and just expected me to grow a thicker skin. I still remember the day when I went crying to my sister and rather than comfort me, just rolled her eyes and asked if I could maybe not take him seriously because she needed to finish her group project. To her credit, she apologised for that but it was hard to rely on her after that.

Long story short, M made my home life unbearable, and I had bullies at school that made it unbearable. Especially once I was in high school and my best (and only) friend started making friends of his own. I want to say that I was cool with this, but in reality, I turned into an absolute brat and refused to get along with any of them. I wish I didn't, but I just couldn't help but feel betrayed and genuinely acted on those emotions.

And this is how I was with everyone. Constantly betrayed and acting out. It was no wonder everyone I knew got sick of me.

My Dad was constantly worrying about me.

My older brother avoided me as much as possible, to avoid my outbursts.

My sister was just constantly swinging between feeling guilty, angry, and just done with my constant outbursts. Especially when these outbursts were directed at her girlfriend, who constantly talked about how she wanted to be an Enforcer to protect others (take a wild guess why I couldn't like her). V even slapped me for something I said (I can't remember what) to her GF that made her cry.

And my best friend... hates me.

It's my own fault, obviously.

What led to the title of my post is this.

I told my (former) best friend that I loved him and wanted to be with him, and he just raged at me. Apparently, he was seeing someone and thought that I was pulling something in order to break them up. He didn't believe me when I said that I didn't know he was in a relationship (I genuinely didn't know) but he wouldn't hear it and called me an AH and said he was done with me.

I felt humiliated and heartbroken, when I got home that day I was crying and M was the first person, unfortunately, who I came across. And the first thing he does is scoff and roll his eyes, and said "fucking crybaby".

I don't fully remember what happened, I blacked out, but I remember my dad pulling me off of M and his face was a bloody mess. I'm pretty sure that I broke his nose and then some, my dad was so angry. The angriest I've ever seen him; he actually shook me by the shoulders and demanded what was wrong with me. And when I couldn't answer, they told me to get out. Which I did.

I just bolted from the house, the sound of shouting behind me, and just kept running until I got to the Bridge of Progress.

I was just so empty and lost, and the water below looked so tempting. I was about to end it all when my guardian angel showed up.

Ez (21m) was walking by when he saw me about to jump and, without hesitation, climbed up next to me and asked what we were doing.

He saved me that day, without even trying. He listened to my whining and rather than offer me empty promises of "it'll be okay" instead said "girl you messed up. Wanna go on an adventure with me?"

We've been friends ever since.

I took him on his offer and went home to collect some things, when I got there the lights were off so I climbed up to my bedroom window and let myself in. I grabbed my clothes, some saved up cash, my laptop, and my documents (in case I needed them) and left a note for my family saying "bye".

And that was three years ago. I haven't been in contact with them, I don't follow them on social media, and I left my mobile behind so they were never able to get hold of me.

I completely and utterly. Ghosted them. And I don't entirely regret it.

In the last three years I have gained close friends, experienced new things, seen interesting things, and have felt well enough to actually want to seek therapy. My mental health improved greatly, although I still have issues but still am lot better than I was before.

However, I can't help but feel like an AH. My family weren't bad, just fed up. They are genuinely good people (even M) it's just that I bring the worst out in people. But recently I've been wondering if I should reach out or not.

What if doing so disrupts their lives? What if my leaving improved their lives?

I don't know.

AITAH if I reach out to my family after ghosting them for three years?

(This is a fanfic. Please read tags)

[even-more-than-before]

Drew silly little miniature thingies for each of the monsters from Karamari Hospital! (Excluding Monster 3 and Monster 5 since i didnt feel like drawing them lmao)

Hope y'all enjoy :3

[stellarvoices00]

Can I even call it a relapse if I never got any better??

[iridiss]

listening to what could have been by sting and thinking about garroth. And I can’t help but wonder what it would look like if the narrative leaned more into the idea of Garroth as a villain. Because his Mystreet counterpart, especially his more recent changes/developments as a jollier, dumber, sillier comedic relief character, can be very misleading when it comes to the idea of thinking of MCD!Garroth as a…wholly good, pleasant person. Canon MCD Garroth isn’t 100% good, he’s morally gray. He’s not evil, he’s someone in the middle who fights for what’s good and what he thinks is good, but just because he fights on the side of good doesn’t necessarily mean he’s a great person. He’s not.

The contrast between him and Laurance is shocking, actually, he and Laurance both have very different opinions and very different approaches when it comes to handling other people, their relationships, and primarily…what they think they deserve. How they get what they want. MCD!Garroth can be very good, he can be a docile sweetheart at times, but he is very much a self-serving man when you take a closer look

When Laurance is stuck in the Nether, Aphmau is desperate to find any way to build a new portal and get him out and save him, and she’s very close to actually going and doing it herself. But Garroth stops her. Garroth is the one that holds her back, tells her to leave Laurance be. It’s likely a cause done out of concern for Aphmau’s own safety, there’s a great deal of risk that comes with bringing back a man who could very well be a Shadow Knight by this point. (though he doesn’t know that at this point, there’s only a mere chance of it!) But nonetheless, he still leaves him behind and refuses to turn back to save him. While he’s gone, he even bands all of the nearby guards and towns in the area to write a brand new law into their Guard Code that states that if a guard is made into a Shadow Knight, it is their sole and sovereign responsibility as a guard to kill themselves after their transformation. So not only has he refused to help Laurance, he has literally written a law, a law that very much binds the loyal and honorable Laurance, that would force Laurance to kill himself the second he comes back. He didn’t try to save him, he created a trap for Laurance to die the second he comes back.

Now of course, that didn’t end up happening and the narrative sorta forgot that ever happened, but I can’t help but notice the contrast when it’s Laurance in his place instead. Garroth severely betrayed Laurance and fucked him over and abandoned him in his/the village’s time of need (the Scaleswind war), and only saved face at the very end when he realized he’d been lied to, but despite all of that, Laurance would die and kill to get Garroth out of the Irene Dimension. Laurance cares for Garroth so fucking much, Garroth attacked him and backstabbed him and Laurance still cared enough to give him a pep talk, to desperately try to get him back, he never gave up on him no matter what. And when Garroth was trapped in another dimension, Laurance was DESPERATE to get him back as soon as possible, at all costs. He snuck out with Aphmau to try to open the portal again at great risk. He consistently talks about how much he misses Garroth. When Aphmau starts having dreams of Garroth—including one where Garroth actually kissed her behind his back, the very same crime that broke Garroth’s heart in the first place—the first thing out of his mouth is “How is Garroth? Is he okay? Is Garroth alright? I miss him. Man, if I could show up in dreams like you, do you think he’d be excited to see me? Do you think he’d be so excited to see me, he would kiss me too?”

What Garroth refused to do for Laurance, Laurance would do for Garroth in a heartbeat. Laurance would die and kill to do everything for Garroth that Garroth decidedly did not do for him. Garroth could kiss Aphmau behind his back all he wanted, and he would still ask Aphmau if Garroth was doing okay.

There’s this sort of tragic, unrequited love and one-sided devotion potential for Laurance x Garroth that I don’t think I’ve seen before. Not like this, anyway. Laurance loves him so, so much. Garroth…does not. Because Garroth’s heart is not centered around others—it’s centered around himself.

And I don’t say that like at all in a damning way! I don’t say that because I hate him and I prefer Laurmau or whatever, I’m talking purely casually to point out the various actions he’s done in canon to analyze a specific portrait of him, a specific take on Garroth’s character, that I don’t think I’ve seen before in the fandom yet. I compare him to Laurance and Aaron not to say “oh they’re obviously the better choice in the ship war,” but to demonstrate that he’s the only love interest of Aphmau’s whose written in a very unique way that is personalized to his character and his individual personality traits. Other love interests of Aphmau have faced the same or similar situations, and they each respond differently. This is how Garroth responds. (and it’s not healthy lmao)

When Garroth sees the illusion of Aphmau and Laurance kissing in the woods—he pointedly does nothing to try to abate the stubborn belief he forms from it. He had literally just seen Aphmau and Laurance three seconds prior, entering the barn. For a party, that he just witnessed the two attend. There’s no way they could have suddenly and immediately left the party and ran off into the woods without him seeing them. And even more so, he had JUST witnessed Aphmau speaking to Nicole about her love life, and outright telling her that she’s not ready for a relationship right now. She just said, five feet away from Garroth, that she wasn’t looking for romance right now. And furthermore, he only ran into the woods because he saw a strange, devious-looking, suspicious figure run in prior, something that should have made the idea of Laurance and Aphmau being there in the first place seem even more suspicious and impossible. Literally anyone in their right mind would have questioned what they saw at least a little bit, considering everything that had just directly contradicted its plausibility. Not to mention the fact that it’d be entirely contradictory to both Aphmau and Laurance’s characters that Garroth has known up to this point to go behind his back and do something like this. Aphmau would never do this, she would never kiss Laurance so soon, that’s…why she didn’t. If he knew Aphmau well, if he trusted her, he would know that, he would have faith in her and question what he saw. He could have gone back to the party and found both of them still there, and asked them about what he just saw, and they would have told him the truth immediately. He could have communicated with them. It would be extremely easy to communicate with them, they could have cleared this issue up in fifteen seconds or less—but that would require Garroth wanting to communicate. It would require him trusting them enough to reach out, to see them for who they are and trust what he sees. That would require him wanting the best possible outcome, the healthiest outcome that still salvages the friendship and allows him to keep Aphmau around as a friend. But he doesn’t. He doesn’t talk to them.

Instead, he decides to avoid them. He isolates himself, they both actually grow extremely worried about him and continuously check up on him, reaching out to him and trying to show him how much they care for him and love him, and he shuts them out every time. He gives them the silent treatment, he doesn’t tell them why he’s angry, he lies when Aphmau asks him what’s wrong, and he turns cold and terse with her, and later even back-handed and borderline mean when speaking to her right before the ultimate betrayal. He becomes extremely petty about the mere possibility of losing this competition over Aphmau and absolutely holds it against them (points even louder to the fact that, before his shadow knight self starts corrupting him ((I have currently only rewatched up to s2 ep19 so my opinion on this may change)), Laurance DID NOT DO THIS AT ALL when faced with the same exact scenario except this time it was REAL, and even Mystreet!Aaron refused to have any part in the “competition” at large and literally talked to Garroth about how stupid and harmful and dehumanizing it is to Aphmau in S3: Lover’s Lane, and that’s why Aphmau “chose” Aaron over Garroth, because he did not treat her like an object to be won, an object he deserved. The competition itself is literally canonically recognized by other characters as petty and selfish and causes more harm than it does good, it hurts Aphmau and it pushes her away from Garroth in Mystreet. Because she’s a person, not a prize, and Garroth is the one character, out of the 3 of them, who canonically struggles the most to remember how much it hurts her and struggles to not treat her like his territory anyway.

I’ve never seen a love triangle series outright state and recognize the inherent dehumanization and harm that comes with the competition over the girl, how it hurts the girl more than anything else, and yet, Mystreet has done it at least in one instance, and I’m really impressed with that. I’m impressed that there is canon backing to the idea that Aaron “won” the shipping war because he didn’t participate in it. He thought the idea was stupid, this thing that controls Garroth like a dog on a bone. Aaron doesn’t give a shit about any “competition,” because he cares more about Aphmau herself and her needs and desires than whether or not he’s gonna score her at the end of the night. Over and over again throughout Lover’s Lane, he refuses to be possessive or jealous over her, he doesn’t give a shit that she’s talking to other men, while Garroth (and laurance, once Garroth convinces him to be curious and worried enough, to be fair) loses his shit over it. Aaron has to continuously remind Garroth, and the rest of her friends, that Aphmau is a person with agency and she is allowed to talk to whoever she wants and he as her boyfriend should ABSOLUTELY NOT CONTROL THAT. He does not OWN her. And that’s why Aphmau gravitates towards him, over Garroth and his more possessive and territorial nature.

Laurance is still more guilty of this sin than Aaron is by participating in the competition itself, but in the Irene Dimension, Laurance still has to smack Garroth upside the head to literally remind him that she is a human being with agency of her own, she is allowed to do whatever the hell she wants with her love life and does not owe them anything, she is not an object that they deserve to earn. Laurance has to tell him that as Aphmau’s guard and friend, it is their duty to support her no matter what she chooses for her love life. That’s something Laurance recognizes that he doesn’t: Aphmau may never choose either of them, she may never choose anyone at all, and it is more important than anything else that they be okay with whatever she chooses because she is their friend, their liege, their Lord. Laurance is okay with whatever she chooses, as long as he can be by her side in some way or another, whether that’s as her lover, her dearest and closest friend, or nothing more than her guard, he reassures her over and over again that he’s okay with whatever. He doesn’t want to pressure her into anything, he doesn’t want to force her to be his. He may flirt with her still just to see her laugh or smile or tease him back or snark him, but he will always respect her boundaries and her wishes over anything else at the end of the day.

But Garroth doesn’t think that way. When his own village goes to war, the lives and safety of his own people that he’s responsible for as their Head Guard is put at immense risk against a seemingly impossible threat (O’khasis + Scaleswind) and he abandons them. Because he’s so incredibly petty about Aphmau ever kissing another man for whatever reason, no matter how impossible, that he cuts all communication with them, cold shoulders them hard, and literally leaves them behind to possibly die. He is not present in the battle. He abandons his duties as Aphmau’s guard completely and leaves her to very possibly die, pretty much as punishment for not letting him win. This shows to me that he is Aphmau’s most devoted guard until it stops benefiting him personally. And its not necessarily because “he just had a broken heart :(“ it’s how he, Garroth, individually responds to his own emotions and how he chooses to treat the people around him the moment he stops getting what he wants. He seems to be a very lawful character, to contrast Laurance being a more chaotic one, but I’d like to argue that he doesn’t follow anyone else’s law but his own. He follows what serves him, and if devoting himself to Aphmau is what serves him in the moment, then he’ll devote himself to that at the cost of anyone else. But if it serves himself to ditch Aphmau in her hour of need, then he will stubbornly and absolutely follow that at the cost of anyone else, including her and her life and wellbeing. Laurance and Aaron would have chosen to communicate and likely already have done in similar situations throughout the Aphverse canon. Garroth refused to, to the point of pointedly choosing to turn his back on Phoenix Drop and potentially let them die because of how damn stubborn he was. Now, he likely would regret it if the battle did end up going poorly and Garroth came back to find Aphmau and Laurance and all of Phoenix Drop killed and razed to the ground by Zane and Scaleswind, but thankfully Aphmau was able to pull everything together in his absence and he didn’t have to face the consequences of his actions too badly.

If Aphmau chose Garroth, Laurance would still spend the rest of his days by their side as their close friend. If Aphmau chose Laurance, Garroth would ditch her and leave her to die. apparently. that is uh. not great. maybe we go to therapy instead actually (and I can’t help but wonder why he would think that way! this is more headcanon land than anything else but perhaps garryboy picked up some nasty thought habits and beliefs from his time as a prince? Garte passing down the toxic family traits down onto him inevitably maybe)

But he ditches Zane when Zane stops serving him, as well. Zane has been terrorizing and harming the people he cared for most for ages now, and even still, he preferred to side with him, and I honestly think it’s because Zane’s narrative justified his decision to punish Aphmau by pushing her away. Zane allowed him to let go of his conscience, despite Zane being most certainly the sketchiest man alive that Garroth surely knows is a liar and a manipulator and a criminal out to hurt his loved ones by now. But Zane is still the only person alive that would give Garroth justification to be his worst self and enable his behavior, so that’s who he gravitates towards. Zane happily enables his brother’s worst self, and it can be argued that Garroth is happy to be enabled, and mostly certainly enables Zane’s worst in turn. The bad influence brothers! Sometimes they make each other so much worse <3

There can be an argument made that Garroth left his kingdom behind in a similar vein, because it didn’t serve him personally to marry someone he didn’t want. He was the only heir left to a kingdom that ended up falling without him, leaving his father to die under Tu’la’s invasion and allowing for his mother to be kidnapped. His people need him, he has a responsibility to them, a duty that he refused to tend to, because he didn’t want to. I think that might be at least similar to what Laurance was trying to get at, by calling him shitty for abandoning his duty as a Prince and wanting to return him to O’khasis?

When he’s in the dreams with Aphmau, he does kiss her without consent. It’s 1000% fair to be argued that he only does that because he isn’t sure if it’s a dream!! He doesn’t really know if that’s Aphmau herself or just a figment of his imagination and he regrets not having done it sooner, so im absolutely not pointing that out as like a black and white He Did An Indisputably Bad Thing And He Should Be Cancelled For It thing, there’s nuance. I point it out because if you want a Good Boy Garroth take, it can be argued that it’s a romantic thing he does because he misses her and he’s distraught that he didn’t get the chance to do this in life and he very well might never get to see her again so he should confess his feelings to her now before he loses her again, and also it’s a fucking psuedodream. But if you want a Bad Man Garroth take, there’s. Definitely!! Something to be said about how like!! How he doesn’t ask, he doesn’t specify or give any sort of clarification beforehand. How he doesn’t care for a single second whether or not she would actually want this and he should respect that upon the chance that this very likely could be the Real Aphmau right now using weirdo Irene magic to appear in his head. He doesn’t hesitate or check with her or even confess his feelings beforehand, he doesn’t just. fucking tell her how he feels like a normal human being, he just grabs her face and forces a kiss, because that’s what he wants. Again, because that’s what serves him in the moment. And that’s…his priority above all else, including and especially Aphmau’s own boundaries

Also I can’t help but laugh in his face when he talks to Aphmau about how he’s upset that Laurance got all this time to bond with Aphmau and grow close to her as a friend when he didn’t. My guy he got the opportunity to do that because you left and forced Aphmau and Laurance to only depend on each other in a dire time of need, because you were being too petty of a bitch to try to talk to them lmao. Like my guy you not getting closer to Aphmau is 1000% your own fault, you have NO room to complain lmao

maybe Aphmau should be allowed to be at least a liiiiittle angry with Garroth for costing her 15 years of her childrens’ childhoods and all of her friends and relationships and loved ones (and an eternity with Zoey) all because he was the pettiest fucking bitch known to man. she should be allowed to be at least a teensy bit angry with him for it. Laurance also lost another dad in the timeskip I feel like that’d be more than enough reason to have beef with Garroth’s arrogant prick ass lmao

Garroth’s sole drive is himself, at times very much at the cost of those around him. His moral code is very relative, and yet to him it seems like the hardest line in the world. He’s not a bad person, but he’s not terrific either. I would love to see a take on Garroth as a more fully fledged villain though, following his worst behaviors in canon. A Garroth that highlights his more arrogant and selfish tendencies, that puts them on display and makes him look more like his father by the day. A Garroth that’s cold, who will drop you like a hat and leave you to rot when you don’t give him what he wants, a Garroth whose a territorial and possessive and controlling partner who hates the idea of you so much as speaking to any other men. Who will punish you and refuse to speak to you and abandon you if you do. A Garroth who’s very much capable of being back-handed and passive aggressive and really fucking mean. A Garroth whose morality on occasion seems to be admirably upright and pure, only for him to side with the most evil and corrupt of men because that’s what benefits him more in the moment. A Garroth who’s a hypocrite and fucking lying to himself. A Garroth that takes what he wants without any regard for your own personal desires. All his worst personality traits bumped up to a nine, so they outweigh all of the other good traits that would normally balance them out. A Garroth who believes honor is relative, whose morals are relative, whose loyalties will change at the turn of a dime, depending on which side will give him what he wants more. Because he believes he deserves what he wants, he’s earned what he wants, and if you deny him that, you are deserving of whatever punishment comes your way. You are the one in the wrong, for taking away his rightfully deserved prizes, and he will never apologize for lashing out because of it. He is childish and emotionally immature, he doesn’t communicate, he doesn’t trust, he doesn’t open up, he stays in his castle of solitude, because he’s chased away all the people he could fill his halls with, for petty reasons and slightest faults. And at the end of the day, he’ll look himself in the mirror, and it’ll never occur to him, not once, that it was his fault for making them leave. It was his fault that he never got the happy future he wanted.

[kitkatopinions]

Okay, so linking my last post here where I talk about how the rwby writers will often announce how we're supposed to feel and what we're supposed to think, but not actually establish it well in the rest of the story, let's talk about how that affects the character of Tai and the different interpretations of his character.

I recently saw a post asking how people like Tai and can praise him as a father when we're told he essentially abandoned his children, and... It's for this reason. What we're told in one or two announced statements (Tai essentially abandoned his children) has absolutely no baring on the rest of the story. It doesn't impact his relationship with his kids, it doesn't seem to impact the relationships his kids have with others for the most part, it doesn't even really impact the relationship Yang and Ruby have with each other, or the relationship he or his kids seem to have with Qrow.

The very first thing we hear about Tai I think is Ruby commenting on how he wouldn't approve of the co-ed sleeping arrangements at Beacon, which while an old fashioned trope, implies that Tai is a parent that worries about the girls. Then Ruby announces that Yang is 'acting like Dad' when Yang is prodding her to make friends, implying that Tai is a dad who cares about his kids' social lives and tries to encourage them (and also implies that this isn't how Yang usually sounds.) Tai takes Ruby to visit her mother's grave, implying that he's the kind of dad who a. drives his kids around places and b. encourages Ruby's connection to her mother and gives her space to grieve. When we see Tai after the fall of Beacon, he is worried out of his mind about Ruby and so relieved that she's safe. He brings tea to her room and flips out when she leaves. I always read the tense moment between Tai and Qrow at the end of V3 to be Tai knowing Qrow's about to tell her things that Tai doesn't want her to know because he's trying to protect and take care of her. Her note is addressed to him, not Yang. Tai's the one who took care of Yang when she was suffering and (however misguided I think the writers were in some of how they handled it) encouraged her to get back on her feet. Ruby and Yang have zero problems with Tai, no acknowledged or imo even hinted at resentment towards him or trouble trusting him, or even in Yang's case struggling to have open conversations with him. Ruby and Yang's relationship with Tai is a relationship of a loving father who cares about his kids and kids that rely on him when they're in need. This does not reflect the idea of a man who shut down for years and forced Yang to raise Ruby on her own and sacrifice her childhood while he was essentially an absentee father. There's even implications that Qrow has been around enough while the girls grew up that they (specifically Ruby) feel safe around him and are able to have deep conversations (as someone with multiple aunts and uncles, even the one I saw the most wasn't someone I would talk to with the ease and familiarity and trust the girls show to Qrow in the first five seasons.)

Yang and Ruby's relationship with each other doesn't feel mother-daughter/she raised me at all. The only times we actually see Yang try to parent Ruby is in the first couple of episodes (after she gets done ditching Ruby for random friends we never see again) when she is still more the 'getting in fist fights and teasing' normal everyday older sibling archetype and is notably ACTING LIKE TAI in Ruby's eyes. The only thing that suggests 'abandoned by parent' is Yang's imo badly done abandonment issues (badly done because they only ever seem to matter with Blake,) and even then her abandonment issues would imo be unchanged with Tai being a supportive father because she still would have been abandoned by Raven and lost her mother! So even that doesn't feel like it has anything to do with Tai.

Because of the characterization of Tai, the girls, and even Qrow, for the first four volumes, I was completely under the impression that when Yang says 'Dad sort of... Shut down,' she meant temporarily, for a matter of a couple of months at the most, and that she definitely did not raise Ruby. Then when I watched Yang in volume five, I was like "wow what a weird thing to randomly insert that doesn't track at all with the behavior of this family, I guess I have to come up with a headcanon involving Tai shutting down and 'leaving Yang to raise Ruby' while still balancing what's clearly the case." And I came up with the headcanon that when Summer died, Tai shut down for around six to eight months, but Qrow stepped in almost immediately after the incident with Yang and Ruby running away and Qrow was like a disaster parent but still loving and tried his best (with Yang in the role of telling him 'this is what Daddy does' 'Ruby doesn't like that food' 'we go to bed at eight' to help him get by.) Then Tai started getting better and he and Qrow co-parented for a bit before Qrow decided his semblance was too dangerous and started his habit of going on trips and coming back for a week or two at a time, while Tai stepped up again, but still relied on Yang perhaps a bit more than he should. In my head, they were a flawed family unit, but one where Tai recovered from his understandable grief quickly to try to get back to his family and had Qrow there as someone loving but messy. It still didn't completely click with Yang's insistence that she raised Ruby (added onto by Ruby announcing the same in V9 before Yang proceeded to completely ignore all the obvious signs of Ruby's mental breakdown, get angry when said breakdown was revealed to her, and was all grins and hugs five minutes after Ruby attempted suicide,) but it was the best I could do.

Because "Tai was an absentee parent and Yang raised Ruby on her own" just doesn't fit with the rest of what we've seen! It makes it feel like both Yang and Ruby have a warped and wrong idea of their childhood.

So then we get fans getting angry that people like Tai, being totally confused about why people made 'Father's Day' posts about Tai, wanting explanations, and it's like.... It's because the rwby writers did not care to actually make 'Tai was an absentee parent who abandoned his young child to raise a toddler on her own' part of the story at all and just essentially announced it without giving it any emotional weight or impact while completely ignoring what they actually did write into their story, which is a flawed but loving father.

'Tai was a single parent for years with frequent help from Qrow' is so much more applicable to the actual characterizations and storybeats and actions we get in canon than 'Yang raised Ruby by herself when Tai abandoned them.' It's just that the second one randomly got announced to us, just like 'Penny's first choice is asking Jaune to kill her' was announced to us even though it contradicted the rest of the story. It's just bad writing, bro. A lot of us just try to block out the moments where it's announced to us how we're supposed to feel if it directly contradicts what's actually been included in the story.

[xx-psych0-rabbit-xx]

Re: the zan post and her projection, i'd love to hear abt that one👀👀👀👀👀q

YEAH IVE BEEN WANTING TO TALK ABT THIS

so basically smth that becomes v notable looking through the in character tweets by zan regarding the other dream friends, is shes v competitive n has quite the ego abt herself:she can recognize n acknowledge others skills rly well but her conclusion is either "well im better (angry)" or "well im better (excited to beat them)", this gets taken to a new absurd when introducing adeleine, where she immediately starts talking abt how shes hiding behind her canvas like a child n therefore does not know ~the path of strength~ n can never beat a ~battle-hardened warrior like herself~, n then she proceeds to keep downplaying adeleine even when shes showing new skills n seems excited to fight her after noting ado n ribbon were dancing around like its showing her some kind of lesson.generally she seems to take anything she perceives as weak or cowardly rly personally

so i was thinking like.i feel theres smth to be said regarding her strength fixation? when you take her backstory of having attempted suicide at a young age into account? suicidal ppl often feel helpless n weak, specially when theyre again, v young, so i could def see this all started from her trying to cope w that through just becoming the strongest n most confident, specially when her role in the cult was hyness' choice, so hed likely be giving her a lot of positive attention from succeeding in combat, smth she seems to rly want (from one of her playable screens) bc she absolutely adores him n would consider his opinion n approval like holy words (kanji used in jp straight up implies she idolizes him n generally anything regarding her feelings on him is so extreme in the original text lol)

so her issue w adeleine is just.ados a weak child who hides a lot, which feels like looking at a mirror to her bc thats her spitting image of when she was like that, which zan absolutely despises bc she spent so long "fixing herself" from that n the only way she can rly process this is by projecting n thinking theres smth inherently wrong w adeleine so she keeps bringing it up n up n how much better she is until she.i dont know honestly i doubt shes going anywhere w this beyond trying to make herself feel better by deciding to fight her lol.iirc adeleine has a splash effect w some of her attacks which zan is extremely weak to bc shes literally kept alive by electricity so i doubt ados in any real danger of getting beaten up

which brings me to smth i wanted to bring up bc as always extremely amusing zan has this huge ego shes a super strong warrior when her boss fight is designed to have multiple oversights regarding safe spots or spots where shes vulnerable to attacks n in the jp pause screen its said she uses her speed to "toy" w her foes like shes so sure shes got this shes messing around for her own amusement n she throws a huge fit when she loses n blows up the station w the cults own allies inside n laughs at your face abt it.thats just so funny oh my god.shes not even as good as she claims n shes a violent sore loser abt it

oh n ig this makes her weakly calling to hyness for help when she loses the second fight hit even worse since shes so confident shes so strong but at this state shes resorting to believing hell save her again.thats lovely

tl dr zan partizanne wants to beat up a child bc like most kirby characters she has a weird ego but shes getting mentally ill abt it.idk sorry ado but hyness hasnt complimented her in like a week n shes getting unstable

[fugakuu]

i think one of the lesser talked about impacts of usamerica capitalism is like not only does your instability in income transportation housing and healthcare impact you it impacts everyone in your life i’ve lost friends and lovers if your financial insecurity isn’t enough loosing your housing and then having to leave everyone you loved and built relationships with ? not only am i suffering the humiliation and trauma of eviction/lost housing but in top of it the life i’ve tried to build by the skin of my teeth walking to work or working shitty remote AI jobs now the friends i’ve made who love me but also can’t help me they loose me too ? i’ve not only lost my life, but i’ve cost other people relationships too i’ve had to break the hearts of others if the impact of living poor wasn’t enough now you have to be unhoused and further be subjected to this fascist police state or if your “lucky” go crawling back to an abusive person in your life and pray you don’t kill yourself or be killed because at least there’s a roof over your head

[asherisawkward]

Do you think the fandom has a holier than thou attitude?

The fandom is an absolute mess. A huge portion of the fandom is prone to going after anyone who likes the villains of the series and treating it like a personal attack. Like Huntlow? Don’t like Huntlow? Don’t like Lumity? People will go off on you and act as if you personally insulted them or said you supported something utterly outlandish.

And if you like Philip or any of the other villains of the series? It could be an absolute mess. You can get bullied, insulted, harassed, and degraded. People accuse you of supporting actual genocidal dictators or being a traitor to the LGBTQ or whatever marginalized group you fall into. People become obsessed with it and act like that determines your morality, when it absolutely doesn’t.

Similar stuff happens to people who disagree or critique the show on its flaws. You get threatened or insulted or doxxed. I mean, people in this fandom will tell others to kill themselves over works of fiction. It’s a disgusting mentality that what forms of writing, film, or characters you like impact your morality or your trustworthiness as a person. It’s modern day witch-hunting and another form of purity culture.

The show says, “Us weirdos have to stick together.”

The fandom basically says, “We stick together unless you say something I disagree with,” and that’s not okay.

[nururu]

Under a cut because I'm analyzing marineford/ace and it's heavily about suicide/being suicidal

"name a character that didn't run away" and they say ace............. I'm pretty sure he did the ultimate "run away"..... Do people not see aces actions at the end of marineford being..... Suicidal....? He wasn't being a bad ass. definitely think oda was trying to portray how tough being suicidal can be, where, even if you have everything and everyone is there for you, it ultimately doesn't matter. And how tough it is for the people who love the person who's suicidal/has committed suicide. And no matter how they go about helping, at the end of the day, it's up to the individual to choose whether they should continue to live or not. That's why when people say "garp should have stepped up he could've changed everything" Im like???? Because it wouldn't have made a difference at that point. And garp knew that. Ace knew garp loved him. Ace knew his friends and family loved him. Ace knew all of that. Regardless, ace didn't want to live. Oda is trying to make you empathize. He wants you to empathize with the "good guys" and the "bad guys" he wants you to empathize with the pirates AND the cops. He wants you to empathize with the victims AND the abusers. Now, oda takes a stance, you can tell what his stance is and where he resides on the moral scale, but that doesn't mean he doesn't practice and doesn't want you to practice empathizing. Marineford was odas way of saying that your love matters. Even if it doesn't succeed. It's still important to love. People will choose to die if they choose to die, and they should die knowing they're loved. Ace died knowing he was loved. Even if that love wasn't enough to keep him alive. Sometimes it's not enough and it's not your fault and it's not their fault. Idk...... I have so much to say about this. I think so many people miss this about marineford and it's a damn shame bc it has such a powerful message regarding people who are suicidal and people who are left over after someone they loves commits suicide.