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seriestrash · 8 years ago

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You Me Her

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Chapter Ten: Winter Formal

Word Count: 6926

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Riley practically runs home after her encounter with Lucas at the library. Why did Lucas have to say that? She wasn’t imagining things, he was hinting at a romantic mistake. Why now? Why did he have to say that? Riley is thankful that her parents took Auggie to Philadelphia for the weekend, that meant she had the apartment to herself to just implode, because that’s how she felt in the moment.

Riley throws her backpack on the sofa and stomps upstairs. Riley paces around her room, her breathing is shallow. The brunette rips off her coat and throws it to the side. Riley stops dead in her tracks, determined to not let this shake her. She was past this, she was past Lucas. Riley clenches her eyes shut and does her very best to focus on her breathing. She inhales, holds it as long as she could and exhales loudly. Riley repeats this a few times until the sick feeling in her stomach subsides and her breathing regulates. Riley opens her eyes and takes a seat at the end of her bed.

Rattling on the fire escape startles her. Kai becomes visible and climbs through the unlocked window, he has two black bags in hand.

“Hello,” He sings upon entry.

“Hey hey,” Riley tries to act natural but fails.

“Is everything okay, Ri?” Kai asks noticing her off demeanour. “You look really flushed.”

"It’s cold out but I jogged upstairs...Confused body temperature and all that...” Riley laughs nervously.

“Are you sure?” Kai gives her a dubious look. “Because you’d tell me if something was going on right?”

“Of course.” Riley nods quickly.

“Because we get through the tough times together right?” Kai’s look remains firm but quizzical.

“Absolutely.” Riley affirms. “Now, what are you doing here?”

“We are getting ready for the dance.” Kai wiggles the two garment bags in hand.

“And by we, you mean I keep you company whilst you get ready for the dance that I’m not going to, right?” Riley eyes him.

“Negative.” Kai says with a smile, he was still worried about Riley but he’d just silently keep an eye on her instead of pressing further. The boy in glasses rests one of the garments down and proceeds to unzip the other bag.

“What is this?” Riley folds her arms close to her chest as she looks at the baby blue dress.

“It’s a birthday present.” Kai answers innocently.

“My birthday was two weeks ago and you already bought me a necklace.” Riley’s fingers brush the dainty ‘R’ charm hanging from her neck.

“Fine, it’s an early Christmas present.” Kai sighs.

“I already know you got me travel journal for Europe.” Riley gives him a look.

“Noah told you?” Kai frowns, “Worst secret keeper ever.”

“He was excited,” Riley tries to defend him. “Plus I already know he spilled about my gift.”

“I’m totally going to love it by the way.” Kai chuckles.

Riley exhales loudly, “Is there any use fighting you on this?”

“Absolutely not.” Kai smirks.

Riley looks at the baby blue dress. It’s beautiful, a deep V cut back with slightly more modest V cut front. Fit and flare from the waist. A beautiful white lace pattern overlay with the blue peeping through from beneath and a pretty, thin, satin bow around the waist. ++ Visuals attached in the end notes ++

“You don’t like it?” Kai deflates.

“No it’s beautiful.” Riley nods.

“Then what’s wrong?” Kai sits by her. “Why don’t you want to go to the dance?”

“Mom and dad are away so I thought I could have a quiet night in.” Riley offers up an excuse.

“They’re also away tomorrow night.” Kai highlights giving her excuse little merit.

“It’s just a silly dance, who cares if I skip it?” Riley groans.

“It’s not just a silly dance.” Kai frowns. “It’s our last winter formal, ever.”

“It’s not like I’m skipping prom.” Riley sulks.

“I know this isn’t about a date, because you turned down three guys..” Kai trails off after noticing Riley’s shift in expression. “Or is it about a date, because you know I could get you one like that-“ Kai snaps his fingers.

“I couldn’t care less about having a date.” Riley lies. Maybe she would feel more comfortable with a date but that didn’t necessarily mean she wanted one.

“So you don’t have to have a date, date but you can still come along with me and Noah.” Kai grins.

“I’m not crashing your date.” Riley shakes her head.

“Are you kidding, going to the dance with my boyfriend and my best friend?” Kai grins, “I couldn’t dream of a better scenario and Noah is more than down for it, he loves you. I even got myself a bow tie to match your dress and Noah has one of those cute pocket thingys in the same colour.”

“Kai…” Riley coaxes her head.

Kai holds his finger out to silence Riley. “I thought we already agreed that there was no use in arguing with me?”

Riley lets out a groan in defeat. “Fine.”

“We have wasted enough time, let’s get ready.” Kai claps victoriously.

Riley and Kai prep for the dance. The dress Kai bought fits Riley perfectly, the drama fanatic fought Riley on the addition of thick black stockings but the quirky girl won out in the end. Riley wears a warm white coat over her whole ensemble for the subway ride to school.

Noah meets his dates at the station, cooing compliments about how lucky he was to have such attractive dates. Riley pretends to blush as he fiddles with her loose curls. “Pretty as a picture, Sunshine.”

Once at school, just outside of the gym where the dance is being held, Noah stops Kai and Riley in the empty hallway. When Kai asks what’s going on Noah just casually slips a flask out of his suit jackets inner pocket and takes a swig. Riley’s eyes grow wide knowing it’s definitely alcohol, she becomes anxious and fears being caught on school grounds. Kai accepts Noah’s offer and takes a sip himself before offering it to Riley. She declines, shaking her head like a fool and the boys chuckle at her innocence and escort her into the gym.

Riley’s anxiety kicks into high gear once inside the gym crammed with students and loud music bouncing off the walls. Kai drags his dates over to the photo corner and makes a real scene showing them off as each flash captures the moment. After he’s done crouching down and literally presenting Riley like she’s the prize on a game show he drags her and Noah to the dance floor. After two songs, Riley’s still not feeling it so she comes up with an excuse to part.

“It’s warm in here, I need a drink.” Riley shouts. Kai nods as he continues to bounce to the music with Noah. Riley spins around and collides with someone, causing her to stagger back a few steps. She’s mid apology when she flicks her gaze up to find none other than her former sweetheart, Lucas looking back at her. With the past afternoons encounter fresh in her mind Riley finds herself at a loss for words.

“I didn’t think you were coming.” Lucas shouts over the music.

“I wish I didn’t.” Riley mumbles to herself as she pushes past him and makes her way out of the the crowd.

All the brunette wanted was to find her coat and leave, coming here was a mistake. Since Kai made Riley take off her coat before entering the gym - so they could be photo ready as soon as they arrived - Riley didn’t have a clue where it was. Riley is inspecting the bleachers when Noah approaches her with two cups of punch in hand.

“What’s the matter, Sunshine?” Noah asks as he hands her one of the beverages.

“Nothing.” Riley sends him a sweet smile. “Is this...”

“Punch.” Noah finishes her sentence with a giggle. “And that smile doesn’t fool me.” He takes a seat and pats the space beside him.

“Where’s Kai?” Riley asks trying to change the subject.

Noah motions over towards the DJ booth where Kai stands with a group of guys being his usual social self.

“I saw you bump into Lucas.” Noah doesn’t allow Riley to drop the topic.

“You saw that?” Riley avoids his gaze.

Noah nods. “I thought Lucas was a problem of yesteryear, has something changed?” Noah knew Lucas would always be a problem for Riley but he still broaches the subject casually, not wanting to trigger her.

“No.” Riley shakes her head. “Lucas has zero to do with my emotions anymore.”

“Okay.” Noah says unconvinced. “You’ve been off since I met up with you on the subway and Kai said you seemed off at your apartment too... What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” Riley says simply.

“Fine.” Noah didn’t buy that for a second but he chooses not to press right now, instead he lets out a heavy sigh. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Is it your secret to tell?” Riley raises an eyebrow.

“I wasn’t at the guidance counsellor looking at other colleges.” Noah admits.

“Okay... Why were you there?” Riley questions, worried there’s an emotional reason behind it.

“Don’t worry, Sunshine, I’m fine.” Noah notices the panic in Riley’s voice and gives her hand a reassuring squeeze. “I was there talking about a few athletic scholarship offers I’ve received.”

“I didn’t know there were official offers yet.” Riley’s eyes widen. “I mean we knew there were a handful interested.. Why didn’t you tell me? Does Kai know?”

“No, only my family do.” Noah shakes his head. “That’s why it’s a secret.”

“I don’t understand…” Riley crinkles her brows.

“Two schools have made offers, Notre Dame being one of them.” Noah shares.

“That’s your first choice right?” Riley smiles. “Why don’t you look excited?”

“They offered me early admission.” Noah fidgets as he speaks.

“As in leave Abigail Adam’s early to attend there?” Riley questions, already knowing the answer.

Noah nods weakly. “I’d technically still graduate but there is a strong possibility I’d miss prom along with the actual graduation ceremony itself.”

“Oh.” Riley sinks into her place on the bleachers. This hurt more to hear than her confusing conversation with Lucas in the library. Things were changing and Riley wasn’t ready for any of it.

“I haven’t made any decisions yet,” Noah says positively, “It’s still early.”

“You should tell Kai.” Riley gives him half a smile.

“I can’t.” Noah rejects the idea. “If I tell him, he’ll encourage me to go.”

“The nerve of him for being a supportive boyfriend.” Riley says sarcastically.

“But if I leave.. What does that mean for me and Kai?” Noah frowns.

“You already know Kai has been looking into all the colleges you’ve been considering.” Riley shuffles closer. “He’s willing to follow you anywhere.”

“I can’t let him do that.” Noah pouts.

“Notre Dame has a terrific history program that Kai is genuinely psyched about.” Riley says. “And he’s been looking into drama classes and groups in and outside of the school too.”

“Alright, so lets say Kai does make a decision based on his future - excluding me as a factor - what if I do leave early?” Noah holds Riley’s gaze. “That gives him plenty of time to change his mind about the school... About me.” Noah’s eyes wander back towards Kai and a group of his friends. A sadness waving over the shy football player.

“Noah, you are his future.” Riley says softly and turns his face back towards her. “If Notre Dame didn’t have an academic program that excited or suited him, Kai wouldn’t go but he’d still look for a school that was close to you because as extreme, over the top, loud and headstrong Kai may be, there is one thing about him that’s simple and easy to understand and that is how much he loves you.”

“Boy do I wish we were all going to the same school.” Noah’s smile is small. “Then we could graduate together and all move back to the city and live in some small apartment and then when it’s time for you to spread your wings you could move into the conveniently vacant apartment across the hall.”

“And we’d laugh in the faces of anyone who called us dangerously codependent.” Riley jokes.

Noah chuckle softly, noticeably, some of his fears had melted away but Riley knew he’d ultimately feel better once he talked things through with Kai. Subtly, Noah pulls the flask out of his jacket pocket and tops his punch up with the contents of it. Again Riley declines his offer for some alcohol.

Riley takes a deep breath, Noah had been so open with her she felt like doing the same. That and the library incident had been weighing so heavily on her mind that she needed to talk about it. “I spoke to Lucas at the library this afternoon.”

“Oh?” Noah pricks up a brow as he takes a swig from his cup.

“He told me he thinks he made a mistake.” Riley is looking into the crowd of teens as she speaks. “When he chose Maya over me.”

Noah chokes on his mouthful and not because of it’s alcoholic contents. “What?”

“Then I told him I didn’t care and walked away.” Riley says like it’s no big deal.

“Exactly like that?” Noah coaxes his head.

“I froze at first and then scurried away once I came to my senses.” Riley points a weak smile at no one in particular.

“Well that explains why you’ve been so off tonight.” Noah gives her a sympathetic look. “I can’t believe he’d say that and then bring Maya to the dance.”

“What?” Riley snaps her head towards him.

“That’s why we’re upset, right?” Noah grows nervous.

“My mood is directly linked to the confusion at the library.. What do you mean?” Riley lets her eyes scan the gym trying to find familiar faces. Her eyes settle by the punch table where Lucas stands with Maya and Zay.

“Let’s leave.” Noah says hopefully. “We can find Kai and go back to your apartment, order some pizza, watch some movies...” Noah tries but he, along with Riley, witnesses what appears to be Zay encouraging a photo between the ex couple, the two blondes cuddle in doing a silly pose at first but take another where Maya stretches up to press her lips to the side of Lucas jaw.

“Come on, Riley,” Noah softens. “Let’s just go.”

“I have a better idea.” Riley turns back to him with a menacing look in her eye. “That flask still have anything left inside it?”

“Are you sure?” Noah asks dubiously but he was already a little too tipsy to rationally handle the situation.

“You and Kai are always saying how I should let loose.” Riley smiles. “So hit me.” She waves her cup in front of him. Noah ponders it for a moment but eventually tops Riley’s cup up with a liquid that smells awful and burns her throat when she downs it but that didn’t stop Riley from chugging the whole cup. The two of them finish off the remaining liquor and head to the dance floor just as the alcohol begins to take affect.

It doesnt take very long at all to hit Riley, a definite buzz almost immediately. Her blood felt warm but in a good way and it’s not long before Riley starts to feel reality distort around her but that doenst stop the first time drunk from dancing. Then it really starts to hit Riley, it’s like the room is spinning even though she stands completely still in the middle of it. Sweaty bodies move to the music around her, music that, to Riley, sounds like it’s coming from a different room entirely. Watching Noah happily twirl around her, Riley stands frozen trying to comprehend how everything sounded so far away and how people around her were moving slowly even though her head was racing.

Kai spots Riley first, looking dazed amongst their peers, then he spots Noah stumbling about to the music way more confidently than usual. Quickly, Kai comes to the realisation that both his dates are heavily intoxicated. Slightly irritated he quickly makes his way over to them for some serious damage control.

Riley doesn’t notice him at first, not even when Kai lightly shakes her shoulder but she did react to it after a couple more shakes, by then Kai had turned to scold Noah, shouting something about suspension.

When Kai turns to check on Riley he finds that she has already slipped away in a desperate attempt for fresh air. The brunette stumbles through the crowd of teens and makes her way out the gym doors, down a few hallways and ends up by the hole where her old friends got put on their first day of high school.

Riley finds Lucas and Maya having a hushed conversation at the top of the stairs. In a failed attempt to sneak past them Riley trips, not falling over completely but staggering in place as she tries to regain her balance.

“Oops.” Riley giggles when they turn to face her. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“Riley are you drunk?” Maya gives her a judgmental look.

“What Peaches?” Riley exaggerates a pout, “You sad someone else got me to unfold my hands?”

Riley wobbles on her feet and Lucas throws an arm out to steady her and Riley’s giggling continues.

“I think you need to go home.” Lucas says not dropping his hold on her.

Riley pushes his arm away, “I’ll take that into consideration, thanks.”

“Just let her go.” Maya snaps, “Why don’t you go find your girlfriend.” The blonde was clearly taking a dig at her former best friend.

“Maya!” Lucas scolds.

“At least I don't have to worry about her developing feelings for any boys I like.” Riley holds her own. She salutes the couple and leaves them with faces of guilt.

Riley continues down the hall with the room still spinning around her, she uses every shred of consciousness she has to walk straight under the watchful eyes of her ex friends. Riley makes her way outside to the grassy oval and breathes in the cool winter air.

White snowflakes float down upon her. Riley throws both arms out at her sides and spins around letting the white specks tickle her face.

“Riley?” Lucas’ voice snaps her out of her quiet giggling and she seizes twirling.

“What do you want, Lucas?” Riley asks agitated.

Before he could say anything else Kai’s voice drifts over to them. “Riley, I have been looking for you everywhere!” He calls out. Kai has one arm wrapped around his boyfriend trying to prop him up as they struggle to make their way towards Riley. He has her coat thrown over his shoulder.

“Sunshine!” Noah grabs at the air as they approach Riley. The alcohol clearly was working quite the number on Noah too.

“Spin with me!” Riley takes both of his hands and they lean back and twirl around together.

Losing their grip, they break apart and both high schoolers fall backwards landing butt first into the damp, snow covered grass. They’re laughing hysterically with each other as Kai and Lucas look on at the mess.

“Up you get,” Kai bends forward and tries to pick up the sloppy footballer. He awkwardly tries to help Riley up with his other arm but they all end up fumbling back to the ground. The two boozed up teens finding it far more amusing than the sober one.

Lucas jumps in to assist but Kai snubs him, “Why don’t you just go, Friar?”

“I’m just trying to help.” Lucas frowns but is annoyed at the rejection.

“I think you’ve done enough.” Kai remains cold.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lucas eyes him.

Ka ignores him.

“Hey what’s your problem, man?” Lucas is getting worked up. “You’re acting like I got her drunk.”

“You might as well have.” Kai scoffs.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lucas glares as he repeats himself.

“HEY, NO FIGHTING!” Riley growls, “We should make snow angels instead!” Riley softens completely and lays back, wiggling her limps in the white blanket on the grass. Noah follows her lead and does the same.

“Noah get up,” Kai pleads, “If a teacher finds you out here you’ll get suspended and you can kiss any chance at a scholarship goodbye.”

“Maybe I don’t want a scholarship.” Noah slurs as he sits up.

Even though Noah’s drunk babble confused Kai he chose not to question it now, instead he turns to Riley firmly and orders her to sit up. “Riley, if a teacher catches you like this it only takes one phone call to your dad-”

“Then I’d be grounded for life,” Riley swats the air, “Fine!” She stands up with a pouty face, stomping her foot like a child. Kai helps his best friend into her coat.

“To the subway!” Noah points a finger in the air laughing like he’s the funniest person to walk the earth.

“I can drive you guys home?” Lucas offers.

“Seriously what are you still doing here?” Kai lets out a frustrated groan.

“I’m just trying to help.” Lucas tries to regain his cool. “Regardless of what you think of me as a person, I do care about Riley.”

“Says the asshole who hurt her.” Kai throws his arms out dramatically. He’d reached his boiling point well and truly.

“It was your idiot boyfriend who got her drunk.” Lucas snaps, he was tired of being treated like a villain when all he wanted to do was help.

“He has a name you know. Noah.” Kai snaps with more fire behind his words than Riley had ever heard him have before. “And how about you take some responsibility for being the asshole who broke Riley’s heart freshman year and then waits until she’s thriving in a life without you to drop some bullshit about making a mistake when you didn’t choose her before you go blaming Noah for getting her drunk because that drunk idiot has been more of a friend to Riley then you ever were.”

“You told him?” Riley frowns as she turns to Noah.

“It slipped out!” Noah throws his hands up defensively. “He was mad at me for letting you drink so much so I had to explain why!”

“Worst secret keeper ever!” Riley whines.

“You and I both know you told me so you wouldn’t have to tell Kai yourself.” Noah places his hands on his hips. The two sounded like children in a petty argument.

“Lies!” Riley says but she know he’s right. “How would you feel if I told Kai about Notre Dame?”

“Riley!” Noah gasps.

“What about Notre Dame?” Kai’s anger is momentarily traded for confusion.

“Okay, can we halt all arguments and hatred towards me for five minutes?” Lucas interrupts. “We need to leave before you get caught.”

“I can handle this, Friar.” Kai rejects him yet again.

“Clearly you could use the help.” Lucas calmly stresses his point.

“Suddenly wonder boy wants to swoop in and save the day.” Kai snaps. “Where were you two years ago? Tell me? When this goddamn ray of sunshine couldn’t go a day without having a panic attack? Three months worth of panic attacks to be exact.”

“Kai?” Riley stands there feeling betrayed. Not even Noah ‘the worst secret keeper ever’ had shared this private part of Riley’s life with anyone. Not since he told Kai about the very first panic attack he stumbled upon back in the courtyard sophomore year.

“I’m sorry, Riley,” Kai turns to her all heated from his words with Lucas. “Over the years I have been your guy. We have shared tears and laughter... We get through each day together, remember? I know I’ve played devil’s advocate in our talks about Lucas even though I know you’re right, you can’t help who you develop feelings for. I’m literally in awe of how graciously and maturely you handled the triangle on your end. But this?” Kai is back to dramatically stressing his words and waving his arms about. “This, dating your best friend for three years, breaking up with her and then telling you he made a mistake, then he brings her to the dance the very same day he claims to still have feelings for you? I don’t even like Maya and I think she deserves better than that. So Lucas can stand there looking like a wounded puppy but wonder boy is lucky words are all I’m throwing at him.”

Lucas did stand to the side looking hurt. Physically, Kai didn’t look like much of a threat to Lucas but the clear passion he had for Riley was enough to shake anyone who crossed her. That and Lucas knew that he deserved every single harsh critique he received.

“So you wonder what my problem is?” Kai scoffs as he turns back to Lucas. “Take your pick.”

“I want to go home now.” Riley deflates. “Lucas can drive, we can take the subway, I’ll walk even... I don’t care anymore.” With slumped shoulders Riley heads for the car park, not allowing anyone else to have any further input. Something about her greatest secret being shared killed her mood completely. Only Noah, Kai and Riley’s parents knew about the panic attacks that started after Thanksgiving. Now Lucas knew, the person she quite possibly wanted to keep them from the most.

“Fine, Lucas can drive. What do I care anymore?” Kai mutters as he escorts a very quiet Noah towards the car park.

Sheepishly, Lucas gets behind the wheel of his car. “Where to?” He asks once everyone is seated, Riley and Noah in the back and an agitated Kai in the passenger seat.

“My house.” Riley answers solemnly. “My parents aren’t home.”

Without another word Lucas puts his car in reverse and exits the car park. Noah looks over at Riley’s sad expression with a frown of his own. Too drunk to think rationally Noah did the best he could to cheer her up.

“Please don’t be upset, Sunshine,” Noah whispers but Riley gives him a smile filled with sadness. In a final attempt to perk her up, Noah pulls out another flask from his jacket pocket. Riley’s eyes widen with confusion, her muddled brain thought this was a magic trick, as she recalled they had drunk all the liquor already. Noah presses his index finger to his lip to tell Riley to keep it secret and he gives it to her to have more.

Lucas - whom at been checking on Riley through his rear view mirror every few minutes - noticed her take a big swig. “Are you seriously giving her more alcohol?” Lucas gets angry at his passenger.

“She’s a big girl, Lucas,” Noah scrunches up his face, “She can make her own decisions.”

“Yeah!” Riley takes another sip, her sadness had washed away now, it was like she had to prove to Lucas that she was past that emotional time in her life. “How do you know I’m not the one who got him drunk?”

“Because that’s not you, Riley,” Lucas states. Riley folds her arms and looks out the window without another word.

Once out front of her brownstone, everyone piles out of Lucas’ car, the driver included. Kai turns to him with another mean look as he struggles to help his stumbling boyfriend up the stairs.

“Look, you have your hands full with Noah, I’ll help take care of Riley and then I’ll be gone, okay?” Lucas tries to reason with him.

“Fine.” Kai huffs and makes his way into the building.

“Thanks for the lift but I’ve got it from here.” Riley tries to wave him off but he continues to follow her up the front steps leading to the door.

“Riley, I’m trying to help,” Lucas sighs.

“I don’t need your he-” Riley trips on the first step and grazes her knee on the cement, tearing her black stockings in the process.

Lucas helps pick her up but she shakes him off and continues up the steps on her own. Lucas follows Riley all the way into her living room where Kai already stood with Noah trying to baby him with a glass of water.

“You two can stay in Auggie’s room.” Riley rocks on the heels of her black ankle boots.

“Alright, Noah, lets get you into bed.” Kai has an arm wrapped around his boyfriend trying to prop him up as they head for the stairs.

Noah exaggerates a playful giggle.

“Don’t be cute. I’m mad at you.” Kai fails to scold Noah.

“Malachi.” Noah says in a baby voice, stressing the name with more syllables than it actually had.

“You know I hate when you call me that.” Kai whispers embarrassed.

“Malachi.” Noah giggles again, this time singing Kai’s full name and Kai’s groan fades as they reach the top of the stairs.

“Well, thanks for the help, Lucas, it’s been fun.. We should do it again sometime.” Riley goofily pokes up her thumb. “I take it you know your way out. Drive safe!”

“You know there’s no chance I’m leaving you like this.” Lucas eyes her.

“A girl can dream right?” Riley sighs. The brunette turns on her feet and stumbles upstairs with Lucas close on her trail. The moment Riley enters her bedroom she’s hit with a radiating heat. She slips her coat off and fans her face with her hands.

“Did you leave the heater on?” Lucas pulls at his tie to loosen it.

“The cat must have sat on the remote,” Riley pants dramatically as she searches for the remote which she eventually finds on her desk and turns it off.

“You don’t have a cat?” Lucas raises a brow.

“Auggie got one for his birthday a few months ago” Riley walks over to the bay window and opens it.

“I didn’t know that..” Lucas mumbles.

“Why would you?” Riley hangs half her body out the window trying to cool down, “We’re not friends.”

Her words stung but he knew he deserved a lot worse coming from her. Especially after what Kai woke him up to.

“You can go now,” Riley sits up.

“Riles..”

“Don’t call me that!” Riley jumps to her feet.

“I’m sorry, I’m just trying to help you,” Lucas apologises.

“I already told you, I don’t need your help, nor do I want your help!” Riley waves her hands around frantically, “I’m fine on my own. I’m not your problem anymore.”

“You were never a problem,” Lucas reaches out for her but she pulls away.

“Dont,” Riley softens, “Just please, don’t.”

“Regardless of what you think Riley I never stopped caring about you,” Lucas tries to find her gaze, “So I can’t walk away from you when you’re like this.”

“Fine, do whatever you want. I need a drink,” Riley mumbles and Lucas gives her a disapproving look, “Of water!” She rolls her eyes.

“Right,” he chuckles quietly, “I’ll be right back.” He disappears to get that for her and Riley paces around the room all worked up.

Whether it was the alcohol, her anxiety or a dangerous cocktail of them both Riley starts having another panic attack and suddenly the room is a thousand degrees again and she’s stuck with her dress zipper halfway down and the fitted bodice feels like it’s suffocating her.

Lucas returns with a glass in hand and adverts his eyes when he spots Riley half undressed. The more than tipsy girl stumbles around the room trying to rip the dress from her body.

“I’m so sorry I should have knocked!” Lucas clenches his eyes shut and backs into the door blindly.

“Help me!” Riley whines as she tugs at the neckline trying to get the dress off. It’s still soaked from her snow encounter and and feels frozen against her, even though her skin burned hot underneath.

Lucas cautiously opens his eyes and sets down the water on her dresser. Riley has her back to him as she reaches awkwardly for the zipper.

“The zips caught on some lace,” Lucas struggles to get it undone.

“Cut it off!” Riley gasps for air, “I don’t care just get it off me!”

Lucas gives it another forceful tug and it tears the caught piece of lace and the dress zips down. With her back still to Lucas, Riley frees herself from the top half of her dress and lets out a breath of relief as she clings to the dress now loosely hanging around her hips.

“Can you put something on please?” Lucas averts his eyes again by turning around, considering her whole top half is now bare except for the white lace bra he may have accidentally peeked at when he was helping her.

“Not like it matters anyway,” Riley mumbles under her breath as she takes out an oversized shirt from her drawer, “You’ve heard what they all say about me at school.”

“You know I don’t believe that right?” Lucas frowns to himself.

“The part about me being frigid or the part about me being a lesbian?” Riley asks nonchalantly.

“All of it.” Lucas answers quietly.

“Why not? Everybody else does.” Riley slips the shirt over her head and sits on the edge of her bed to remove her torn stockings. “Even Maya.”

“She didn’t mean that at the dance,” Lucas says, “We were fighting and she took her anger out on you.”

“It’s safe to look,” Riley calls from the bed and Lucas turns around to face her.

“You’re bleeding,” Lucas is by her side in a second.

Riley looks down at her exposed knee that’s trickling with blood, a blank expression on her face. “Must have cut myself outside when I fell.”

Lucas goes to get a wet cloth from the bathroom and kneels down beside Riley as he cleans her up. He gently dabs it and Riley’s too far gone to register that it should actually hurt. Instead she starts giggling uncontrollably.

“What’s so funny?” Lucas finds himself smiling at her, “Is it ticklish?”

“No,” Riley covers her mouth to hold in the laughter, “I was just thinking about the time we went to the zoo in middle school.”

Lucas finishes fixing her up and sits beside her on the bed, “You were so excited to see the meerkats you tripped over and cut your knee,” Lucas looks back fondly at memory.

Riley lowers her back and lays down on the bed with her feet still dangling over the edge.

“You should have some water and sleep this off, before you feel sick,” Lucas bites his lip looking down at her.

Riley makes a quiet humming noise with glazed eyes.

“Can I ask you something?” Lucas says quietly.

“Why not?” Riley shrugs. “Seems like everyone gets to know my secrets these days...”

“The panic attacks..” Lucas has trouble finding the words. “I didn’t know...”

“That was the idea.” Riley wriggles slightly in place. “Kai gives you too much credit.” Riley sighs. “He makes it sound like you’re the reason I had them.”

“I’m not?” Lucas asks concerned.

“Maybe you were a factor,” Riley shrugs one shoulder, “But so was Maya, Farkle, Issy, Zay.. It was after Thanksgiving. I’d lost my friends.”

“If that upset you so much why did you tell Maya you didn’t want to be friends anymore?” Lucas questions.

“Why do you think?” Riley shares a deflated laugh.

“Maya never explained anything, she just said that you two weren’t friends anymore and she didn’t want to talk about it..”

Riley rolls her eyes and Lucas notices. “That’s not what happened?” He asks.

“No it is.” Riley exaggerates a smile. “I told her that I made new friends and we had grown apart.”

“That’s not what happened?” Lucas shifts awkwardly.

“You really believe that I, Riley Matthews, would allow myself to naturally grow apart from my friends?” Riley sits up and gives him a funny look.

“I guess not, no.” Lucas mumbles.

“Yet not a single one of my friends questioned it.” Riley’s fake exaggerated smile returns.

“Riley..”

“No, I know.” Riley holds a hand up to stop him. “I can’t get mad at people for believing what I tell them but you can relax, Lucas. My anxiety was not your fault it’s my brain, my feelings. You wouldn’t understand.”

“I’d like to try and understand.” Lucas says genuinely.

“There’s no need to.” Riley shakes her head. “I worked past that years ago. I’m good now... Well actually I was good but then you opened your stupid mouth and sprouted some blah blah in the library.” The alcohol still in Riley’s system made her have hot and cold mood swings confusing herself and Lucas with how she really felt.

“I don’t think we should discuss this right now.”

“What do you mean we shouldn’t discuss this right now?” Riley scoffs. “I haven't spoken to you in over two years and then you come out with this nonsense about making a mistake. Why would you say that? Why now, with only six months left of school?”

“I know, I should have said something earlier.”

“Nooo,” Riley drags out the word. “You shouldn’t have said anything at all. The worst part of all is that you say that and then you still take Maya to the dance afterwards.”

“What?” Confusion waves over Lucas. “I didn’t- No- Maya and I are just friends.”

“I never blamed you for choosing Maya, it hurt - a lot - but I never could dislike you for it.” Riley lets out a breath. “Believe me I tried. I tried to hate you or at least feel negative towards you in some way like Kai did because hating you was easier than missing you... but I couldn’t.” Riley buries her face in her palms and laughs. “But this number you pulled today, the library, the dance... Maybe I should try that hate thing again.”

“Riley..”

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore, forget I said anything.” Riley waves her hands about. “I’m tired. I want to sleep.”

Lucas stands up and pulls back one corner of Riley’s covers and motions for her to climb in. The brunette doesn’t protest, she wraps herself in the blanket and wriggles down into a comfortable position.

Faint jiggles of a bell sees Riley smile. She snaps her fingers and softly calls out towards the noise. “Vie, come to bed.” Then, seconds later, in trots a black fir kitten with big but dark eyes. She jumps up onto the bed and snuggles by Riley’s chest.

“Good girl, Violet.” Riley pats her gently.

Lucas chuckles softly at first and then it picks up into a rather hearty laughter. “Did you name her?”

“Yes. Are you making fun of my kitten?” Riley coaxes her head.

“No,” Lucas shakes his head as he tries to control his laughter. “It’s just, Violet the kitten...”

“She’s my purple cat.” Riley smirks.

Lucas’ laughter eventually tapers off completely, his smile fades into something sadder. “I’ve really missed you.”

Riley didn’t like that Lucas said that so she doesn’t respond. Lucas sits on the floor facing Riley, his back pressed up against the bay window. Riley’s eyes flick over to him for a moment but then back on a purring Violet.

“Where did this ‘wonder boy’ comment come from?” Lucas questions.

A small smile creeps onto Riley’s face. “It was Caitlin. Hercules is her favourite Disney movie. She says she relates to Meg’s cynicism.”

“Should I be offended?” Lucas asks.

“Probably.” Riley’s smile remains. Quiet falls upon them once more.

“You lied.” Lucas says quietly after a moment of silence.

“Excuse me?” Riley knits her brows in confusion.

“You told me you were relieved when I didn’t choose you.” Lucas explains. “You lied.”

“I also told you I loved you like a brother once.” Riley says simply. “You believed me then too.”

“The first mistake of many.” Lucas sighs. “I made a real mess of things.”

“So did I but I moved past it.” Riley shrugs. “You should too.”

“Letting you go was the biggest mistake of my life.”

“And falling in love you was mine.” Riley’s words come out softly even though they cut Lucas like knives.

“Riley, I’m so sorry.” Lucas pleads with her.

“Me too,” Riley gives him a sweet smile, “Goodnight, Lucas.” She rolls over to face away from him.

“Night, Riles.” he whispers but she’s already asleep.

Around 2am Riley wakes shivering. She’s freezing cold after going to sleep in only an oversized t-shirt. Sleepily she pulls sweatpants out of her dresser and fumbles around in the dark looking for the heater remote to turn it back on. It’s as she’s about to climb back into bed that she realises Lucas is still in her room.

Riley looks over at the bay window, he’s sitting on the floor but has his head resting in his folded arms that lay on the seat of the window. He’s facing the bed, clearly he fell asleep as he watched over her. Riley pauses for a moment and then takes the throw blanket from the end of her bed and gently covers him with it. He stirs lightly but doesn’t wake up.

Even after Lucas did something that would justify annoyance and animosity towards him Riley couldn’t find it within herself to hate him and as she watched over him sleeping peacefully, Riley knew she would’t ever be able to.

END NOTES + Visuals dskjfh

I thought this dress was really pretty that I found on pinterest and would look lovely on Riley for winter formal so I thought I’d a include the picture for you all! Imagine she wore black stockings and ankle boots, maybe even a nice thin black chocker or something to play against the softness of the dress :)

Thank you to everyone who suggested colleges for Noah. The main being Notre Dame so I went with that! Thank you to everyone who messaged me and let me pick their brains about it to you are so wonderful!!! More on colleges in the upcoming chapters.

As for this one..... I hope I remembered to put everything in.. It feels messy because it is messy, things won't be explained properly until next chapter and in future chapters... Its a ride fam, stick with me lfkghdfkjlhg

I have been slack with tagging people I am SORRY!!!!! I hope I haven't forgotten any one this time ...

@jenn0bi @plutoxriley @pamela-barron @nicolecolin @brassqueen @renait-courageux @helenpenhallxw @dallas258

#rucas #rucas au #rucas fic

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