#transness is very holy. you know

[myaoiboy]

Crazy how much people change over a decade man, if you went back to 2014 on this blog you would see me being SO consternated about having *just the right label* for fucking everything and wanting all of creation to know it.

Now like. If someone irl asks me *anything* about my gender my immediate reaction is visceral discomfort. Even random one-off conversation people asking my pronouns is like. Why do you need to know? Why do you want to talk about me?

Idk, I find that in a lot of cases people will ask those kinds of questions more for themselves than for my benefit. Even if I say it doesn't matter, they insist it does? If I say "any pronouns are fine" (because like, I just want to facilitate whatever we're doing, use whatever pronouns you think will make it most clear you're talking about me, idc), I'll get this knowing "okay, but I'm on your side so what do you *really* want?"

Not that it never matters or doesn't matter to *anyone* but I get asked my specific gender label in these one-off conversations with complete strangers where it absolutely *does not* affect our interaction in any way. Unless you're about to ask me out on a date, this will be the extent to which we ever interact. Why do *you* care more than *I* do about whether I'm a trans man or nonbinary or genderfluid or or or or...

I do try to be gracious when people do this but it's just such a strange thing to insist on. I mean, you wouldn't go up to an ostensibly cis woman and ask if she was a cis woman or really a demigirl or a femme presenting agender or just sometimes had boy days.

[guided-by-stars]

One of the aspects of the systems of belief established in ISAT that makes it so fascinating to examine is that they are are centered around praxes that aren’t focused on as much in the major religions in our world.

Much has been said about how the Change belief encourages self-exploration, (transness is seen as holy, exploration of identity is encouraged) and pressures those who don’t want to change who they are (Mirabelle). The underlying core of the Change belief is action. Active Choice is more encouraged than anything else. The choice to change your body, the choice to change yourself, the choice to change your circumstances, the choice to go on a pilgrimage, the choice to learn new skills, etc. Of course passive change is also celebrated- death is seen as just another Change, and I assume that would apply to aging in general (appreciation of elders?), but it’s not as pushed. In this way, the Change belief encourages autonomy, control over your own life, and ownership of your life circumstances.

On the other hand, those who believe in the Universe as a force of power in the world are faced with the opposite pressure. When the King and Siffrin are relating for the first time over their shared culture, they both remember the phrase “The Universe leads, we can only follow.” The underlying core of their belief is that what is fated must happen, it’s inaction. Passivity. Any drastic action that is taken is justified by it being a path the Universe led them on. When the King starts the battle, he says “Let’s see which side the Universe favors!” Whoever ultimately wins at the end was fated to win, and that could never have been changed. It’s about resignation, acceptance.

This ultimately impacts everything about how the story plays out. When Siffrin first realizes he’s in a time loop, he’s excited! The Universe has given him the power to change things! He’s being led on a path where he can protect his friends and make sure everything is alright! They’re fated to win! As the futility of his quest sets in though, he very quickly turns to resignation instead. What’s the point of getting upset over having to die again and again? There’s nothing he can do about it. The Universe leads and he can only follow. If anyone else was the one looping, they would probably react quite differently just due to that.

However, it’s more complex than just that. What about Wish Craft? Isn’t that purely about taking action, making a Change? Well, partially, but because of the culture that everyone who knows about Wish Craft is part of, it’s seen more as appealing to the Universe. Asking, pleading, for the current to bring you down the left stream instead of the right in the fork in the waters. If you gain something from Wish Craft, you were given it, you didn’t take it. Once again, it’s passive. If Wish Craft was a Vaugardian thing, it would certainly be seen differently.

If the Change belief’s focus on action encourages autonomy, control over one’s life, and free will, what does that say about the Universes resignation and acceptance? Once again, I’m reminded of Euphrasie repeating words as if she’s prerecorded, skipping like grooves on a well-worn CD.

There’s also something to be said about how, in the Change religion, they appeal to a deity, one that you can have a personal and positive relationship with, and those who believe in the Universe are believing in an unfeeling force of nature. None of this is to say either is more beneficial than the other, the pressure to always Change can be extremely destructive, and sometimes acceptance is much better than change. It’s just fascinating how much they come into conflict with each other.

[sapphsorrows]

I don't get the point in being a Facts and Logic Atheist Skeptic if you're going to blatantly ignore the fallacies of the transgender ideology.

Everyone makes fun of the circular reasoning of Christians but no one makes fun of the very obvious circular reasoning of the trans movement. One of the reasons "what is a woman" is such a fantastic question is because they can't answer it. "What is a woman?" "A woman is someone who identifies as a woman." "Ok, well what is a that? When you "identify" as a woman, what does that mean?" It's very similar to asking a Christian "how do you know the Bible is true?" They say "the Bible is true because it's God's holy word." "Ok, well how do you know that?" "Because the Bible says."

Not only that, but transness in itself is an entirely spiritual belief. You're essentially trying to "fix" your body, which isn't even broken, to further reflect your soul. The idea of a soul is inherently spiritual. I find this especially true of nonbinary people who go through surgery and have their nipples removed. Many of them say "well, I wasn't supposed to have nipples" or "nipples make me dysphoric," and it doesn't make any sense. Nearly everyone on planet earth has nipples, what do you mean you weren't "supposed" to have them?

When you listen to trans people talk about their gender identity, it's extremely religious. Even with things like "trans joy," I can't help but think of the old sold "I've got the joy joy joy joy down in my heart." Well, I guess if JKR doesn't like it she can sit on a tack.

When they talk about their transition, they're "on a journey," they're "connecting with their gender." When they do finally transition, and cry because they "finally feel like their true selves."

What does that even mean? There is no "true" self, the self you currently have is your true self. You were never not yourself. You were never broken. Anyone who told you that you were was trying to sell you something.

The fact that most skeptic youtubers aren't even a little suspicious of this movements is very confusing to me. It's still possible they could be, but god forbid you say anything.

The trans community is one of the most toxic things I've ever been a part of. In my opinion, it's like Scientology on steroids. If you leave, you will lose friends, and you may become the victim of targeted harassment. If you even hint that you might be questioning it, you will be met with suspicion at best and outright hatred at worst.

In my opinion, it is one of the most popular, regressive and destructive cults currently operating in the US, and one of the reasons it's so dangerous is because it specifically targets mentally ill teenagers and gay kids. It sells the idea that something is wrong with them. It leads them down the path of medicalization and sterilization. In many ways, it's the modern day lobotomy.

This is the biggest medical scandal of our lifetime. If you're not at least a little bit skeptical, I worry for you.

[proseka-headcanons]

transmasc rui: an essay (/silly) by mod mizuki

made on june 7 2024. scheduled for (if i'm correct) exactly june 24 2024 12am JST in honor of rui's birthday

so. i talk a lot about transmasc rui. but i've never explained the headcanon. that is what i am here to do today because i've been meaning to make this post since *checks notes* ... april. oh wow and i only did this while half asleep on june 7... and then scheduled it for rui's birthday.... oh dear. well anyways. a lot of this is kinda jokey. in fact the first point is the only 100% serious one i think. but without further ado, here's why rui kamishiro is transmasc!

1. rui's connection to the cat plush in the wonderland sekai

this is a BIG one. it's pretty clear, isn't it? the cat plush is VERY obviously meant to mirror rui. the worry of being seen as weird and being ostracized for sharing his ideas? yeah. that's obviously rui. however, with this comes some trans coding. why? the cat plush is a calico. if you don't know, male calico cats are RIDICULOUSLY rare, and almost always sterile. a common statistic is that only 1/3,000 calicos are male, but it's unclear if that's the real statistic. either way, male calicos are so rare that when one is born, discovered, or adopted, there are news articles made about it. a big example being charlie unicorn (as he was nicknamed), a cat from colorado discovered in april of 2023 to be male and adopted in june of the same year.

^ that's charlie

male calico cats (as well as male tortoiseshell cats) are known as the unicorn of cats because they're just that rare. so rui (a canon male) being so closely tied to the calico plush... yeah seems like trans coding to me, accidental or not.

2. this fucking card

that's it. yeah. that card.

look his earring is trans flag colors okay. also. the costume. it's called fucking transition gentleman there's literally nothing more to say here moving on

3. his friendship with mizuki

i like getting opportunities to talk about them. so mizuki and rui are friends we all know this. and they bonded over being outcasts. but what if. they also had something else in common. transness or something idk. transfem transmasc solidarity is a thing and it's cool. if two trans people know they're both trans they're likely to get along well. they can feel safe because the other won't judge them for who they are. ... a lot of the time.

maybe he's an outcast for being autistic and a trans boy. you can't tell me otherwise. also them both being trans makes the dynamic so much better in my personal opinion :3

4. holy shit!!! a binder!!!

if you look closely, the thing he's wearing underneath the white shirt... has no sleeves. it has like. straps. it could easily be a tank top but it could also just as easily be a binder. i choose to believe it IS a binder. you can't tell me otherwise

i might be forgetting things, but i'm tired. i'm eepy. so thank you for coming to my ted talk. mod mizuki out.

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

RE: your last ask... I'm a different anon, trans in the other direction heh. Finding which path bears the most fruit is... So difficult? I'm currently on the waitlist for top surgery and I haven't told my parents yet- it's going to cause so much anger and grief and I don't know if I will be able to maintain a relationship with them. They're very progressive for reformed protestant christians otherwise, moderately leftwing, but something about transness sets off my dad in a way I do not understand and he refuses to explain, he just storms off and says he "can't follow me on this path". So... Yeah. Idunno. Transitioning feels selfish, but I also NEED to do it, so I'll go through with it, I just always wonder if it's gonna be the final nail in the coffin for my faith.

previous ask

I feel for you — it can be hard to discern which way leads to good fruit when you are in the liminal space between the tree planted and the tree fruiting. It can also be really really hard to determine what exactly the tree is: In your case, are potential negative responses to your transness / top surgery the fruit of transness itself? Or is the tree transphobia?

That is how I consider things: When trans people are free to live as themselves without transphobia and cissexism involved (hard to experience these days), the fruit is new life, new energy, new community, new thriving. It is only when those anti-trans reactions enter the mix that the results are instead rejection, violence, and grief.

That is why I firmly maintain that any bad fruits that come from living out our transness are coming from transphobia, not transness itself. I will share my personal experience, while aware that I am extremely lucky and privileged to have parents who were never afraid "for my soul," only a little incredulous about nonbinary genders at first and then concerned about how it would affect my quality of life.

When I told my parents I planned to get top surgery and would appreciate their support, by dad and mom both responded with different flavors of bewilderment about why it was necessary. My dad kept talking about how my body shouldn't matter (typical view of a white, cishet, able bodied man). My mom told me she couldn't offer any financial support to the surgery itself because she thought it was a mistake I'd regret, and a waste of money.

But over the year following my top surgery, they witnessed my transformation: my new energy, joy, willingness to get out of my comfort zone. And they moved into full support.

My mom also originally grieved over my name change, because my birthname was meaningful to her and she felt like I was distancing myself from her by changing it -- but within a year, she gave me the nickname "Aves," and fully supported my legal change when I finally got around to it.

Ultimately, my parents' support and affirmation through calling me the right name and pronouns, and even challenging their friends when they say anti-trans shit, has brought us closer than we ever were before while I was in the closet / completely unaware of what it was that made me feel so disconnected from society.

The affirmation of transness yields good fruit. It is transphobia that yields bad fruit. As the late, great Rachel Held Evans puts it:

"If same-sex relationships are really sinful, then why do they so often produce good fruit—loving families, open homes, self-sacrifice, commitment, faithfulness, joy? And if conservative Christians are really right in their response to same-sex relationships, then why does that response often produce bad fruit—secrets, shame, depression, loneliness, broken families, and fear?"

All this to say: I am so sorry that you have been made to feel torn between your gender and your faith, between transness and your parental relationships. You deserve to be loved exactly as you are, to experience yourself as the holy, beloved person you are. But if you feel you must choose — choose life. Choose surgery and whatever else you need to be you.

I pray that the other things will follow — that your loved ones will witness the good fruit of your choice, and finally be able to follow you into joy. But even if they fail to recognize what is clearly evident, I pray you will feel the presence of the LIVING God who wills abundant life for you.

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

Huh. Okay so going by your recent post idealizing Judaism to an unhealthy degree is such a common problem there’s a name for it. How does someone unpack whether that’s what they’re doing?

Hi there,

That's a great question! I think it can be a little tricky, because there's some nuances that may tip behavior from "okay" to "not okay" or vice versa that are not immediately obvious to an outsider. There are also plenty of gray areas, where some Jews are delighted by the person's expression of interest, and others have concerns.

I think for me, the thing I see most from genuinely well-meaning gentiles who are otherwise good allies is a fixation on certain parts of Judaism or Jewish identity that neatly fit into existing leftist ideals, but that either aren't as universal as they are claiming or are very niche in the scheme of Judaism as a religion. Oftentimes, what will happen is that lefty Jews (i.e., most American Jews, and certainly a large majority of jumblr) will be talking about this exceptionally progressive stance from ancient Jewish texts, or some niche thing that is meaningful to us, which will then get picked up and distorted rapidly to: This Is What The Jews Think About ____. Efforts to add nuance or complications after the fact are then treated like conservative talking points or party poopers who don't want the Good Jews to Have Nice Things. Eventually, even the "Good Jews" will typically get sick of the lack of nuance, but by that point it's way too late and people are no longer listening. It's much less likely to blow up than the original post, and so you end up with misinformation and discourse being passed around *about* us that no longer *includes* us and our petty insistence on nuance or countering facts.

People also struggle to shut down some of these misconceptions because hey - at least they like us right now and we're being considered (finally) to be Appropriately Leftist. (Something that is often difficult for Jews to find inclusion in, despite being overwhelmingly left-leaning.)

I've seen this happen around so many things: abortion, women's sexuality, queerness, transness, the so-called "6 Talmudic genders," Jewish atheism, Jews wrestling with G-d, Hell, Yiddish language, etc.

I guess what I'd say to avoid it is this: before you hop on a new idea to you from a post that goes something like "holy Frick did you know that Jews believe in [idk, e.g.] women's right to orgasms!" Maybe look up sources first before reblogging and spreading that information as legitimate. It's probably more complicated than that, and the misinformation can cause real harm. See: the harm caused to intersex Jews re: the 6 Talmudic genders.

Here is an article about other issues with philosemitism by someone who I know and respect:

Here is another article to add nuance to this discussion as well:

[horrorknife]

Tell me more about nonbinary Strahm! You got me hooked on the idea, gib more

GUHHHH YES FUCK YES

ok so to start things off i think hes been openly bi since his 20s and i think he wants to fuck dudes So Bad but he's never been w a man before because he is like. horrible at pulling men. and this is like the line he draws for himself he's content to be into guys and everything but the idea of being anything other than cis is a non-option for him. mostly bc i don't think he knows what being nonbinary is

dude is insistent that he's a cis man but he feels really extra nice when he wears mascara for some reason. i hc him as a clubgoer outside of work cuz he's like a sim his fun stat is too low and i think it just Works for him cuz he's kind of unpredictable and crazy. Anyway he starts wearing mascara in everyday life and he puts on eyeliner and slutty clubwear when he goes out and it feels so awesome

i also think he got a vasectomy in his early 20s and told himself it was "bc he didnt want to have kids" but this was very much a dysphoria fueled decision that he didn't Know was a dysphoria fueled decision. he wears tights under his slacks sometimes cuz he likes how it feels. Surely this is a regular thing other men do often. like i can't stress enough how repressed he is. he is so married to the idea of being cis because hes horrified to do any kind of internal searching but it's all there burning him up from the inside

rubs my hands together i really think that learning about hoffmans transness would bring up some Holy Shit I Can Do That? feelings inside him but he'd feel weird about it because "Well i'm not really a woman but i'm not really a man so there must be something wrong with me. god i wish i was cis."

if he were ever to like. come to terms w that he would be a he/she user i know this to be true he told me. also i do like tmasc strahm i think he's great i just don't see it. it doesn't work w the rest of his character for me personally. also strahmrez in this context is a sapphic relationship to me.

[deviltownresident]

binders ooh

so i wore a binder for the first time today and i just thought i would go over some unexpected experiences i had with it

this is probably a rare experience, but if you have a binder with a zip down the front, do NOT take it as granted that it is easy to get on. i got stuck from pulling the zip too hard and it got to the point where i considered outing myself just to get my parents to help. be careful. also the back is meant to be stretchy, which i remembered on take two of trying to get it on

even if you have a relatively small chest like me, doesn't mean it won't be euphoric. 90% of the reason i got a binder was so i could wear just one of my shirts that showed my chest more. wore that shirt today with my binder on and holy fuck. shouldn't have waited so long

people always talk about binding safely but really do not underestimate how important it is especially if you're not used to binders. that shit presses in on your ribs after a while

on a positive note, seatbelts. you know when you put a seatbelt on and it kinda divides the titties and is dysphoria inducing?? well no more of that i can assure you

yes there is a slight bump. yes it still makes you look more masculine.

general note on transness - the more you try on purpose to pass, the more worried you're going to get that you don't, and the more dysphoria you'll have. look after yourself both physically and mentally ok?

AUTISTIC TRANS PPL THIS ONES FOR YOU - my binder isnt actually sensory hell. it's quite tight and yeah i can feel it, but its better than i thought. looking at people in binders online, i thought it would be a really itchy starchy material, but mine isn't - it's very smooth actually.

this is a tip i stole from a tiktok but i recommend the website wonababi. easy to navigate, took two weeks to arrive, discreet packaging with thank you note and how to wash instructions, plus they do binders with zips. and other products for queer people including packers, badges and unisex clothes. and you can use the code veeara for a 20% discount.

hope this was entertaining/informing, stay safe ily

[rose-reads-visualnovels]

They’re calling me cringe on reddit for trans crimes and honestly that’s very understandable. I’ve been reading back my posts and there’s a clear divide between “theory on what’s happening/group dynamics” and “holy shit transfem battler/george moment!!!” that I’m not sure how to resolve without compromising the whole thing.

Some people have encouraged me to keep my gender lenses as I read while some nasty anons have been deleted by my ask screener. Sorry I haven’t given any of you people calling me slurs attention, but it’s still important to know where to go from here and how.

When I joke about transing George and impregnating his magically placed womb, it’s with the understanding that he’s not a trans woman or a trans man and I’m not delusional enough to think he was created with the intention to be read as anything other than a straight cis young male.

When I posit transfem Battler, I’m pulling at the seams of what it means to be a man in a narrative centered around a traditional family coming from relatively old money and controlled by an evil sex offender who won’t let go of his penis even in the throes of death.

What does it mean to be a man or a woman as an Ushiromiya? What does it mean for the relatable, just out of teenagehood MC of a visual novel from the 00s to be suddenly transgender in the 2020s? Can we all play along with this silly little plot thread or must I faithfully engage with the source material without straying?

I’ll keep reading Umineko, no problem. I love this colorful cast of characters. But it’s hard to be compared to much more experienced livebloggers and told the reason I’m so inferior is my willingness to call fictional characters I’ve only met 24 hours ago a silly transgender.

— Rose, the Revolutionary Witch

[richincolor]

Most Anticipated Reads of May 2023

I know I say this every time I write about my TBR, but holy crap -- there is so much good stuff coming out in the next month or so. I am not kidding! Have you seen it? Take a peek at our Release Calendar if you don't believe me. It was super hard to pick what is at the very top of my to-read pile, but I did indeed manage to pull it off. So here is what I'm really looking forward to reading in May:

Ander & Santi Were Here by Jonny Garza Villa -- Out May 2

Aristotle and Dante meets The Hate U Give meets The Sun Is Also A Star: A stunning YA contemporary love story about a Mexican-American teen who falls in love with an undocumented Mexican boy. Finding home. Falling in love. Fighting to belong.

The Santos Vista neighborhood of San Antonio, Texas, is all Ander Martínez has ever known. The smell of pan dulce. The mixture of Spanish and English filling the streets. And, especially their job at their family's taquería. It's the place that has inspired Ander as a muralist, and, as they get ready to leave for art school, it's all of these things that give them hesitancy. That give them the thought, are they ready to leave it all behind?

To keep Ander from becoming complacent during their gap year, their family "fires" them so they can transition from restaurant life to focusing on their murals and prepare for college. That is, until they meet Santiago López Alvarado, the hot new waiter. Falling for each other becomes as natural as breathing. Through Santi's eyes, Ander starts to understand who they are and want to be as an artist, and Ander becomes Santi's first steps toward making Santos Vista and the United States feel like home. Until ICE agents come for Santi, and Ander realizes how fragile that sense of home is. How love can only hold on so long when the whole world is against them. And when, eventually, the world starts to win.

Fake Dates and Mooncakes by Sher Lee -- Out May 16

Heartstopper meets Crazy Rich Asians in this heartfelt, joyful paperback original rom-com that follows an aspiring chef who discovers the recipe for love is more complicated than it seems when he starts fake-dating a handsome new customer.

Dylan Tang wants to win a Mid-Autumn Festival mooncake-making competition for teen chefs—in memory of his mom, and to bring much-needed publicity to his aunt’s struggling Chinese takeout in Brooklyn. Enter Theo Somers: charming, wealthy, with a smile that makes Dylan’s stomach do backflips. AKA a distraction. Their worlds are sun-and-moon apart, but Theo keeps showing up. He even convinces Dylan to be his fake date at a family wedding in the Hamptons.

In Theo’s glittering world of pomp, privilege, and crazy rich drama, their romance is supposed to be just pretend . . . but Dylan finds himself falling for Theo. For real. Then Theo’s relatives reveal their true colors—but with the mooncake contest looming, Dylan can’t risk being sidetracked by rich-people problems. Can Dylan save his family’s business and follow his heart—or will he fail to do both?

Transmogrify!: 14 Fantastical Tales of Trans Magic by g. haron davis -- Out May 16

Perfect for fans of All Out and Cemetery Boys, this anthology claims a seat at the table of fantasy literature for trans and gender nonconforming stories.

Transness is as varied and colorful as magic can be. In Transmogrify!, you’ll embark on fourteen different adventures alongside unforgettable characters who embody many different genders and expressions and experiences—because magic is for everyone, and that is cause for celebration.

Featuring stories from: AR Capetta and Cory McCarthy g. haron davis Mason Deaver Jonathan Lenore Kastin Emery Lee Saundra Mitchell Cam Montgomery Ash Nouveau Sonora Reyes Renee Reynolds Dove Salvatierra Ayida Shonibar Francesca Tacchi Nik Traxler

[hee-blee-art]

are there any specific ocs your rotating in your brain rn that you wanna talk about ✨👀

yes! always :)

recently I've been thinking a lot about my toyhouse corners guys as I continue working on their comic, especially basil, alfred, foster, and mac :) coincidentally (or not so) they're the four of the cast who do the most yearning and pining and of course I'm very normal about all that (that's a lie they all make me insane). I can't wait to reveal more about them, I could (and will) talk about them for ages (any questions always welcome, I'll try not to spoil anything too big). particularly I've been thinking about basil's past, his complex troubles with getting close to people, and his relationship to whisk, a troubled kitten who he sees a lot of his younger self in and may or may not be fixated on trying to help because he wishes he could somehow reach though time and help himself when he was a kitten in a similar position to her. all in all I am very excited to keep putting those guys in situations (there will be a candyland, a creepy safety village-esque town, and a mirage-like travelling megastore called appleworld in their future).

I've also been thinking (as I often do) about my tragic fantasy gays, sebastian & konstantine. I've been busy enriching their world with lore and planning out their story so I can start (yet another) draft for the first book of the grey circle, and with that comes a lot of thinking about those two, the haunted prince & his begrudgingly valiant knight who knows him better than anyone and yet cannot know him fully because of his unfathomable secret... oh, there's just something so intimate about being doomed by the narrative and bound together, done part by none, not even death <3 they're very enemies to lovers in a "we're on the same side but I can't stand you but I also can't stand to be without you and if anyone messes with you I'll kill them" way, which I can't get enough of myself.

also! the grey circle has lots of characters I haven't posted about nearly as much but are so dear to me and that I oft rotate in my brain, like ilèan & cainiph, who are a very skilled fairy princess with truly profound mommy issues and cain-and-abel vibes with her sister & an adrenaline junkie bounty hunter who is a bit of a hothead and accidently becomes a werewolf :) another mismatched pair that end up needing each other as much as air. and of course, gren & bain, the little mousy halfling-type creatures who are inseparable best friends in love beyond words, a sly bartender & a leisure-loving bard respectively, both incredibly curious and brave beyond credit, setting out to right a wrong and solve an old family mystery. I think about the grey circle very often, it's one of my favourite little worlds to visit in my head & I can't wait until I have something written that allows others to visit as well :)

the last herd of ocs I've been preoccupied with lately are my room & board cast, the characters for a comic idea I have about silly and bizarre sci-fi/fantasy comic about alternate-dimension-faring roommates travelling in a house-turned-spaceship in search of a (the?) holy grail. they're all old ocs of mine (6+ years I think) that I've rebooted a few different times, and returning to them after some years off feels like reconnecting with old friends as cheesy as that sounds. I genuinely missed them, and I'm excited to be messing about with a story for them again, even if it's just for fun. I've especially been thinking about the main(est) character, martin, and how her journey with transness fits into their larger existential and relentlessly silly adventures.

thnks for offering the stage to talk about my ocs! I love talking about them but I'm not always sure anyone wants to hear, but perhaps it's time I curb that mindset and just start putting more out there because it's fun for me :) also! if anyone reads all this, first of all thnk you for indulging me, and second I am genuinely always open to hearing about other people's ocs, whether through ask or dm or whatever! I know it can be intimidating to just reach out of the blue but I really do love talking about people's characters / stories / creations and I am always open to it. maybe I ought to make some more dedicated venue for that sort of thing but yeah casual oc chat is always an option! I hope anyone who sees this has a wonderful day / night :)

[gracielbas]

It's 2024 and who doesn't succumb most of their days scrolling in their phones, typing away in fb messenger, making tiktoks or just laughing at cat memes. Of course, as a Gen-Z-er, I'm part of the digital native population or basically you can call me—chronically online because let's be real here I basically grew up with the internet. That is why I cannot imagine a life without technology, I feel like life would be 100x harder than it is today.

If you were to ask me how deeply integrated technology is to my daily life then I would tell you I am living in a "Cybereal world" and what is that you ask? It's a word I just made up to describe an interconnected world of technology and real life. Now, to get you a look in my daily life in the Cybereal world, let me show you how my day usually goes.

First, in the morning I consider my phone as my lifeline. Why? because as a student who's always tired and sleep deprived I find it hard to always wake up on time so I set up countless (and when I say countless I really mean infinite number) of alarms with 10 to 20 minute intervals. Sometimes, my friends also call me via Messenger or through my phone number to wake me up which I really appreciate so much 'cuz nothing beats starting your morning with some good vibes from your friends right?

After waking up, I start preparing for school. My school schedule is divided between online and offline setup. So on days where I have to go to school, I get ready with music playing in the background. I stream music from youtube 'cuz ya know I have to support my fave kpop group by streaming their music video or I use spotify as I have a subscription (thank god for student discounts it's like the only best thing I have received for being a student) ehem, anyways I usually just play music in my phone or my laptop (mp3 and CD players are so out of trend) . Then after getting ready, I chat my schoolmates and my beloved friends that I'm on my way to school and we decide on where to meet up for breakfast. Once I arrive school, the most important feature in our entire university campus is the elevator. I would not climb up 9 floors of stairs just to get to our room everyday. My weak body cannot tolerate that so praise whoever made elevators.

Online classes are like the best example of how internet and technology has changed this world like can you believe you can get proper education in the comfort of your homes? I really cannot grasp that idea at first but due to the pandemic that happened and the rise of digital world, it just became normal for me. Therefore, my online classes are just me (staring) listening attentively to my professor and taking down notes in Google Docs (PRO TIP! its easier this way).

After classes, I usually go out with my friends to go eat or visit some recreational spots just for leisure and enjoyment 'cuz we always go by the saying "You're never this young, so enjoy your life to the fullest." Of course, we cannot go anywhere without our phones 'cuz how are we going to navigate our way there without google maps? Or how can I go home without the use of transportation booking apps? As someone who sucks at directions google maps and online transportation booking apps are my holy grail.

Everytime I hang out with my friends, I always and I say ALWAAAYS end up with a hurting stomach because of excessive laughing and of course these moments are the moments we want to cherish and keep for the longest time. There's no better way to capture such wonderful moments than with your very high quality phone camera.

After spending a healing moment with friends, I'm back to being a fulltime student as I open my laptop and slave away to finishing school works. During exam seasons, I spend the rest of my week cooped up in my room in front of my computer reading transes for my exams. I also search more information on our topics and lessons in the internet. I also want to give a very special shoutout to Nurse Sarah and her youtube channel for carrying me throughout my college years.

Sometimes, I hop on discord call with my friends and we study together and teach each other concepts and lessons. I appreciate the rise of online calls through various platforms as it really makes it easy to communicate with people even without leaving my home.

A little bit about me is that I am diabetic so I have to take note of my blood glucose. There's this device called glucometer which lets me take my blood glucose level at home—which saves me lots of money as I don't have to go to the clinic and pay for professional fee just to get my blood glucose checked. Aside from that, I have to be active to stay healthy or else I'll have complications with my health. Therefore, I keep track of my exercise activity which I do using my phone and this app called health tracker.

I agree with what Ms. Ariana Grande said in her song 7 rings "whoever said money can't solve your problems must not have hadenough money to solve them" and so, I tend to reward myself by spoiling myself with my favorite things like buying kpop photocards and merchandises. I usually buy them online through applications or platforms like Shopee, Lazada or through twitter, which is now known as X. Whenever I buy online, I use this mobile money transferring app called GCash to pay for my items. I do agree that this form of e-wallet made purchasing items faster and more convenient as I don't have to frequently withdraw money from my bank account. If ever I do need to transfer money from my bank I can do it online through money transfer from bank to e-wallet. I would like to say that this also made me more impulsive in my buying decisions though. Luckily though this easier method of buying and paying is now applied in offline stores as I can pay my items through any e-wallet. All of this leads us to the equation of more things bought + more items gained = happier me

After doing all of these mentioned above, I move on to completing other house chores like washing my clothes like my uniform and then cooking food using our electric stove or the microwave if I'm feeling lazy. Being done all that, I end my day by listening to music again or watching k-dramas to put me to sleep. (i often forget to set my alarm again but I wanna thank whoever made scheduled alarm setups). All in all my cybereal world is full of living life with technology to accompany me in every step I take. Starting from waking up to ending my day, I need technology to back me up. Yes, I agree that I can do these things without my phone, laptops, etc but aren't traditional alarm clocks, cars, and even our doors are form of technology too? I believe that technology came to fruition to be a support for our everyday world. It's just up to us to control the way we let technology control our every day life. That ends this post, if you want to share your application of technology in your daily life then feel free to comment below your own version of your CYBEReal world! Thank you for reading~

[shrimpmandan]

no malice meant here but like. hey. sometimes when someone makes a joke about something publicly, it is actually not about you/the person you're imagining is the victim of the joke. when trans girls talk about eggs, they're not talking about "men who are feminine" or "men who should identify as women actually" or "men we want to pressure". like that's why people get upset or laugh at you when you equivalate the two. it's seeing someone talk about their own life experience and assuming they are talking about someone else entirely, and then getting mad at them for being so mean to that someone else. and more importantly (the motive for my call) the reason trans women are so bothered by the modern condemnation of "egg jokes" is because people condemning them (like you) are equating a joke about lived experience to an active malicious effort. like yeah are some people gonna make a joke of this genre that's in poor taste? maybe. but people attack trans women for these jokes way harder than they would anyone else for making a bad joke. it's making a mountain out of a molehill and frames all trans women as malicious, just for talking about their own experiences (as so-called eggs) in a way that may be relatable to others. a woman saying "haha liking X thing is so eggy/doing X things means you're trans!!" is simply NOT pressure to transition. it is NOT saying that men can't be feminine. it is NOT telling the reader of the joke to /do/ anything. when you see a woman making an egg joke and respond with "umm don't pressure men to transition!" you are, frankly, accusing that woman of something she is not doing, whether you meant to or not, and quieting her when she attempted to talk to a group of likeminded people about herself. It discourages other women to talk about their own lives and makes a lot of the transfemme community feel as if they must walk on egg shells if they dare crack a joke in public. even if you believe the joke was in poor taste or implies something you disagree with about gender, there is a need to meter your response according to the severity of the situation. is an egg joke, made by trans people for trans people to see, actually worth a public negative response? particularly a response that implies that trans women are manipulating, sinister people who want to convert you and laugh about it? even if someone thinks the jokes or one specific egg joke was bad, you can see how the severity of backlash to it (ie current egg discourse) might be disproportionate to the offense. how trans women might feel that they're being punished too much for something that was very obviously not meant to be taken that way. if you think egg jokes are "the same as conversion therapy" in any way at all, youre asserting that trans women have ***any*** realistic intent to "forcibly convert" men to transition. you know that's not true right? like, think about what you imply by interpreting so MANY women like this. would you assert this about trans men who make jokes about seeing signs of their transness in their past? or men who wishfully entertain the idea of an afab celebrity being trans masc? that's what these jokes are, it's really not malicious, I promise. Again sorry for dropping in here I'm not trying to be mean or angry or anything at you, just informative bc I think a lot of people really don't understand how shitty it feels to be on the other end of this. Have a good day!

Holy mother of text wall batman, but I'll try to parse this.

My biggest thing is I did not read the OP as being ABOUT jokes, or as being a joke in and of itself. Whatsoever. I was taking it as a criticism of anti-egg culture as a whole. There is a non-insignificant amount of people who do genuinely attempt to pressure GNC people into identifying in a way that they simple do not, in either direction. The long and the short of it really is just that I was not taking it as being referring to jokes or memes. I was taking the post at face value, especially since it was also directly comparing "men can be feminine" to 1-to-1 conversion therapy rhetoric, when that is extremely contextual.

Also, any trans person can participate in the harmful side of egg culture. The friend I was talking about was a cis dude being badgered by a trans man. He was outright harassed by that person actually simply for asserting that he himself did not identify as trans just for being a crossdresser. I think it's fucked up to pressure people to identify in a way that they do not, no matter who's doing it and for what ends. I don't want cis people telling me, a tranny, how to identify. We shouldn't tell cis people how to identify either. I do not think of shitty Reddit memes or trans people talking about their childhoods when I think of egg culture. I think of people I know personally who have been harassed by people who take it upon themselves to 'crack eggs', so to speak.

TL;DR: I did not interpret the post as being about what it was later (albeit rudely, not by you) clarified to be about. People seem to be taking my response (which said that it is bad to say "but men can be feminine!!!" to trans women/amab NBs) as me having an issue with Reddit trans memes about personal discovery, when that's just not what I equate egg culture with. It's also extremely condescending to act like this is coming out of a place of "oh, the evil trans women are going to convert the cissies into trannies!" when I, 1) am trans, and 2) do not associate egg culture exclusively with trans women by a landslide.

[sassquire]

I am afab, but recently I have been questioning my gender. I at least want to feel masc, I think I want to cut my hair, and get a bit bigger, and dress more masculine, etc. I'm not sure how comfortable I am with the idea of top or bottom surgery (definitely not bottom surgery lol) but i think i might like to try binding. I used to imagine what my name would be if I was a boy (I could only think of one and I didn't like it lol) I have always been attracted to more masculine characters in media and I kinda want to be them.

The idea that I might be ftm has gotten into my head and now I can't shake it loose, but I haven't experienced a whole lot of dysphoria? (Or if I have, I wouldn't know for certain, but I recently had to try on a few dresses for my family and I was severely uncomfortable to the point where I cried several times lol) (I was also told that I was very girly by some friends as a kid and haven't worn a dress and have avoided the color pink since then lol)

Funnily enough I have been feeling more comfortable with my femininity since I started to explore my potential masculinity, but idk if that's just because I'm getting older

I haven't experienced intense body dysphoria, and am not unhappy in my body? I don't really know if this qualifies as gender dysphoria but I just cannot stop thinking about it and I was hoping to get some opinions lol

Thank you if you've read this far, and thank you so much if you take the time to try and help me out with this, lol

holy moly thats a mr. hugh mungus ask this reads as p similar to what i went thru minus the femininity (mostly) but honestly friend, not a lot of that is relevant to the million dollar question of Am I One Of The Transes Or Not just dress/present/act however the fuck makes u comfortable and in time, the answer will reveal itself

or you could just speedrun it like "do I identify fully with my assigned gender?" if the answer is anything but a resounding yes, you're probably trans. and that's it. you could do absolutely nothing after that and still be trans. you will always be trans unless that answer becomes a "yes, i identify completely with my birth gender and nothing else". or if you decide you dont like the trans label honestly do whatever you want.

[tothesolarium]

IM VERY HONORED THAT YOU LIKE MY IDEA <3 AND obsessed with the description of space elf jellyfish tbh. All of these ideas are sooo lovely. I think the Frankenstein route or fusing flesh is like muah (big warframe infested fan over here like they have buildings made of flesh where the skin hardens into white metal so if its damaged it self repairs)

Also I GET IT. Writing romance is so fucking hard i feel like im just forcing the relationship sometimes instead of letting it flow naturally. Though also emotionally stunted people are sometimes impulsive so it works sometimes?? Its awful. And making people read my self indulgent romance shit always feels So Embarrassing. I always end of making the weirdest queer people alive who cannot be normal in situations.

AND YES YOU GET THE VIBES TOWARDS MY ELVES. They're slightly isolated as a species because of how much damage space travel can do in a short period of time, but they always read as like a High Society when in truth everyone is usually avoiding straining themselves or accelerating their joints stiffening. I'm very comfortable talking about my setting(s) and stuff so if you ever need someone to bounce ideas off of hmu (though im usually easier to reach through discord if you have one lol)

Godspeed on the writing and thank you for all the insane art that makes me wanna draw!

YOU GET IT!!! i haven't played any warframe but holy shit the vibes??? immaculate, i need to look at these guys cuz it's Spot On for what i like. sadly my elves don't like being gruesome, well most of them. might be able to have a sneaky flesh tower, as a treat. but im very glad you like the ideas!! that means a lot! I think the 'king' (might be a matriarch, or some third thing i have yet to decide yet) will be going the jellyfish route, with the baby clones. who might fight to get title? or just, lil bastard kings/queens/high royal running around without power but lots of michief!! esplods ideas OOPS YES!! romance is so!!! people are not rational, its why we're cute, but writing that mess? deciding the line of, would my impulsive man do this? or does he have some self restraint? would the very stiff skittish queer open up? or do i need to bring a hammer? and yes, mine are all queer lil messes. where i feel goofy explaining the transness of it all, while being the trans source. BUT!! friends have said self indulgence is a good treat for people like us so, its not All terrible. just, embarrassing

AND YAY!! im glad i read the vibe right! you paint such a lovely picture in my head!! love how people would absolutely see them as this very refined, content species who doesn't need to traverse to feel powerful. while they're just, desperate to not get hurt. which i can relate to lolol.

AND DO THE ART DO DO DO IT!!! even if it 'sucks' MAKE AND MAKE!!! cuz its all practice, which is annoying advice i know, but even not whats in your head, is still a tangible summoning of that mental image. which is !! awesome!! and my first drawings of people my mom thought were monsters. it all starts funky, and keeps funky

(and i'll send ya a message from my main with my discord)

[nervoustragedyluminary]

31 Nonbinary trans man They/Them pronouns only. Only started medical transition at like 27/28 wish I could've started earlier in hindsight but it's never too late. Adding some of my experience:

The things that made me realise I should stop putting off starting transition were :

imagining getting old as opposed to assuming I'd die young/of suicide and thinking about the kind of old person I wanted to be and how I'd feel comfortable in old age and that was a dudely person

( even though old women are awesome and badass and beautiful;not that anyone has to be attractive to have worth and even 'ugly' old people are fucking beautiful and worthful - I'm just saying I know some terf is going to read this and be like "internalised misogyny detected! you only transitioned because the patriarchy hates and devalues older women" no piss off also lol if you think older trans people have it any easier than older cis people - educate yourself asshats)

I realised that the idea of aging into an old lady was the reason I was having difficulty with seeing a future for myself and that it was the 'lady' part that was an issue not the 'old' part because I didn't feel the same discomfort when I imagined myself aging as a nonbinary dude & was overall excited to reach 30

Another thing was realising that if I didn't like T or the effects or changed my mind or realised I'd been mistaken that I could stop taking it and that would be fine and not the end of the world due to listening to detransitioners and retransitioners who weren't transphobic & also to trans women and trans people who'd gone through T puberty and had that hormone making changes to their bodies for yonks but were still women nonbinary etc and the sky didn't fall

- there is a reason terfs and transphobes who don't want trans people to transition only focus on and platform the small pool of detransitioners who are mired in self hatred and talk about themselves as 'ruined beauties/ lost fertility who are worthless to the patriarchy and thus miserable now' - it's to fear monger "you can never go back to being a woman if you realise you're wrong after a single drop of T you're poisoned you'll be forever dEsTrOyEd and marked and miserable so don't even try to transition medically in the first place "

Because once I realised that was complete fear mongering BS I felt less scared of starting T and then when the sky didn't fall and I was actually HAPPIER and more chill (still never experienced the so called T rage and I'm starting to think it's mostly about the same amount of BS as 'hysteria' is Tbh) I was like "Oh, dang why did I wait so long hoping my dysphoria would go away 🤦this is actually helping it holy shit"

Before any medical transition changing my name and pronouns helped SO much, as did doing mascara mustaches and sideburns and cutting my hair short and binding heck I even realised Id worn satin boxers years ago before I even realised what trans was or that I could be trans before feeling embarrassed and stopping,

I wore the uniform pants at school and had short hair then I tried to overcompensate by doing (in hindsight very drag like) makeup and growing out pigtails and then I'd get sick of it and cut my hair again then feel bad because I was told I was "making yourself unattractive" - just oof

I swung back and forth like that for a while I got really into funky earrings and shaved my head and wore dresses and skirts or jeans and button ups and tank tops - I was trying so hard to figure out what kind of woman I was (tomboy, butch femme futch, goth, punk, hipster, hippie etc etc-it always cracks me up people saying transness is a replacement for counterculture fashions because trying them and flitting between the styles was in hindsight a way I repressed my transness/ I was trying to find anywhere else that I could fit and not have to admit to myself what was really going on was gender dysphoria - also there are trans ppl in all those 'subcultures' lol we've always been wherever people are because we are people too) and never quite feeling comfortable and I finally realised that I'm just not a woman, I'm not a binary man either though I do feel more comfortable aligning with transmasc these days. It didn't make me unlovable or a pariah - I did lose some shitty people Ngl but I'm better off and happier without them and I wouldn't trade who I am for the fake love of what felt like a cage I was trapped in

but yeah it's been a wild journey and idk maybe reading this will help someone on their own journey to realise it's not all the neat and tidy just so narratives the cis media gives you ecspecilly if you grew up when transness wasn't really talked about. It's your body not your parents' or your partners' or society's it's Your life to live and your decisions to make

Also TBC not medically transitioning/ having a "non normative" transition doesn't make you 'less trans'or whatever either truscum can fuck off, as I said its YOUR body not anyone else's

i feel like there’s a very skewed perception of trans men or transmascs being only teenagers who i guess magically grow out of being trans??? so if you’re over idk lets say 21, and youre a trans man/trans masc person, can you please reblog this and drop your age in the tags?

i’ll start- im 27