#trans scars are EPIC trans scars in art is EPIC

[dareduffie]

"but his healing factor—" IDGAF! that dog (wolverine) is TRANS! "according to the lore—" well according to my big dick, he can have top surgery scars if i WANT HIM TO!

[thedawner]

Currently listening to Too Human’s dev diary and this spurred me into another long-winded ramble. BE YE READY. (Pictured: Various concept art)

The first (and last haha /cries) game ended on a massive cliff hanger! I want to know what happens next, no matter how awful the fate of the characters will be! This world is good enough that it deserves some closure! I live off the hope that there're bits and pieces of the script somewhere stashed in the storage of one of the former devs and that one day… it will resurface… maybe with even more old concept art too, if I dare dream that far.

Seriously, I would love to see a lot more unearthed artwork for this more than from any other game. In the first dev diary, they showcased a wall filled with prints showing off so much stuff. Some of it I’ve seen floating on the internet, others are concepts of characters that were not featured much such as Frey or Hermod.

What an underwhelming fate this game has! Stuck in a limbo where I can’t even say that it has a cult following, such as Black & White (another game very dear to me that is in a similar situation). Most of the perception of this IP is fairly insular from what I observed, and it saddens me.

There’s nothing similar to Too Human out there! While I can find general ideas and aesthetics in other works, this specific combo of world design, character designs and story is unique to it, at least in my eyes.

There are out there iterations similar to the game’s Loki, Heimdall and Thor. They represent a model that I really like. However, this model being placed within Too Human’s universe satisfies some monster in my brain that craves this exact idea.

The artists who worked on Too Human did a wonderful job at concretizing the bleak yet cautiously hopeful atmosphere that haunts this universe. Among that, they also blended some body horror aspects into it as well and I want to talk a bit about that.

The Aesir are a good example with their cybernetic augments where, even the subtlest prosthetics, still have their own unsettling feeling. That might also come with interesting psychological aspects, too.

Heimdall’s holo glasses come to mind where you can see the thin, golden frames attach to his temples and branch out underneath his skin into what looks like purple veins.

A design that was crafted to be elegant still comes across as off-putting. I imagine he would be used to normal people stealthily gawking at him in meeting settings. One of the least rude behaviours that he could receive so he doesn’t complain much about it. Other, less nice, examples would be people treating him like a computer and chalking up any personal achievement to a simple ‘wave’ of his augments. Maybe ODIN himself would over-load him with duties because his cybernetics, that are rapid-information-processing-based, allow him to bear that. His Aesir colleagues might also often forget that he is his own person and not just an extension of their leader, ODIN.

Even Baldur, canonically described as the least augmented of his colleagues, still looks odd to the fellow human soldiers that he commands. Picture being a rookie wolf trooper just starting out to work under this Aesir. You hear your superiors praise him that at he, out of all the other gods, looks like a normal human person.

Then Baldur goes past you, a towering frame of expensive armor with glowing blue scars criss-crossing his face and weird blue eyes. The rune sword mounted on his back growls at you as its owner went on his business. Yes. That is totally a normal person. You feel so represented.

This disparity of perceptions circles back to the trans-humanist theme prevalent in this game (huhu Too Human title pun huhu). It’s obvious that the writers wanted to do so much more with what they already had in the game, but had to omit a lot. I mostly blame the Epic lawsuit that later on killed both the company and any hopes of a trilogy.

This disparity of perceptions circles back to the trans-humanist theme prevalent in this game (huhu Too Human title pun huhu). It’s obvious that the writers wanted to do so much more with what they already had in the game, but had to omit a lot. I mostly blame the Epic lawsuit that later on killed both the company and any hopes of a trilogy.

God(s), I’m repeating myself like a broken record, but this is why I’m so in love with this game. I could make up headcanons all day based on the little information that there is out there and it still would fit with the official bit of the story. This could have had a chance for a huge collaborative project that could’ve gone on and on.

AND YET.

He's dead, Jim.

He's gone and died.

He's croaked off.

I'm (not) sure why.

So far I have a dream that one day Denis Dyack, the original creator of the story, will give this a re-bound… one day.

[mrcowboydeanwinchester]

Hi Ola!! I wanted to show you my Trans!Benny with heart shaped top surgery scars in honor of Trans Day Of Visibility :D (The second photo is where I got the inspiration from !!!!🍃❤️🏳️‍⚧️)

THIS IS SO CUTE I LOVE IT the pink scars pop so beautifully in your art <333 and happy trans day of visibility!!!!!!!!! an epic slay on all fronts !!!

[r1ng-w0rm]

MAIN INFO(UPDATED -AGAIN)

(10/06/24 UPDATE)

//THIS IS MY OC/PERSONAL BLOG. I POST GORE, OCS, ME, AND VERY RARELY GUINEA PIGS. NO GUINEA POSTS RN THO.

PLEASE READ MY DNIS BEFORE FOLLOWING!!!

//WARNINGS + DNIS!!//

‼️BYF- While I can't stop you from viewing my stuff, I'd much prefer it if minors didn't interact with my posts tagged #notmaggotfriendly . This page is more of w guilty pleasure thing now because being 18 leaves me with no filter. Go follow @magg0t-king (my multi fandom acc) if you want light and funnier posts! ‼️

⚠️Hold on bucko- Biggest Warning is Bugs, Gore/Meat, scars(like healed sh scars from OCS), drugs(OC stuff), dead people (jamey/OC), and weapons?? Also flash/eyestrain warnings. I'll always tag them though, so don't worry.

⚠️Hold on bucko- I also talk about how crappy my ocs are, like moral wise- so there's that. By crappy I mean: absolutely disgusting guys who should be dead.

⚠️Hold on bucko- There are some fandoms that I interact with that could be potentially triggering or harmful to you. So please either filter the tag, block me, or view my multi fandom page instead.

🪱DNI- Bug haters(jk)

🚩DNI- Zoos, Basic DNI criteria, terfs, anyone who ships illegal stuff (incest, pedophilia, etc.), uhhhhhhh.... Walton goggin haters, I'm being serious.

🚩DNI- Also people who hate xeno/neopronouns.

ABOUT ME

🩻My name is Evan! I usually go by Maggot on here though. I'm okay with you guys using Evan though!

🩻I'm Mexican, Irish, and Sicilian.

☠️Though I just usually say Mexican because I am unfortunately a bit too lazy to explain all of it.

🩻My pronouns are He/They/It and most of the time I refer to myself as a zombie/walking corpse.

☠️Like, "I was dead earlier" means "I was asleep, " or sometimes how I mention that I'm rotting/dieing usually refers to me being extremely cold and clammy.

☠️Also I say a multitude of things are gender; like aliens, certain songs, and certain fictional characters/movies etc.

🩻Also yes, I am trans. I've been out (on here + to some of my family) for quite some time. I usually just say trans as a quick umbrella term tho.

☠️Fully describing myself: I am trans masc bug-gendered alien who also sometimes uses corpse/zombie pronouns and alien pronouns.

🩻Some medical issues that I feel that I should share with you(because I get antsy at times) are: I have a brain cyst/a weird amount of brain damage, I'm schizophrenic, I have depression/anxiety, and I have a wacky testosterone imbalance.

☠️All doctor diagnosed too. I take 💅meds💅

🩻I love most of the metal music genre(top faves being nu, goth, and death)! I also really like horror/horror-comedy movies. I like watching little silly shows too like pui pui molcar and pop team epic!

☠️+as you already know, I love bugs, art, and plants!!!

☠️Also my favorite colors are Salmon, Coral, and Orange. :D

🩻@magg0t-king is my fandom blurb account.

🩻I have a neato amount of ocs that I have yet to post ref sheets for.

🩻ALSO I'M 18 NOW YIPPEEEEE

EXTRA--

[citrusclowncircus]

I see (and appreciate) those Dante top surgery scars (also your art is lovely)

THANK YOU!!! I like him so I have to hit him with my epic transgender beam because why else would he be super duper awesome sauce? (It's because he's trans and he transforms into a beautiful bear when he's older) Also thank u for enjoying my art!

[modgirlyreposts-revamped]

Bro why'd my art style lowkey suck back then jwhthejbfbf- anyway I redrew Sarah too! Why does the way I draw her like chubby w/ freckles & acne scars actually give my dysmorphic ass so much comfort I love her 😭

DGHDJJSDKJDH SARAH W/ FRECKLES MY BELOVED-

also trans and bi Sarah???? Epic :00000

[tylerwritez]

Sunday, September 19th, 2021, 10:31 p.m.

Hey guys

I'm here again,,, which, as y'all know, means I've got something to say.

My life has been sorta stupid lately. I dont quite remember when I posted here last, but,,, a LOT has happened since then. I got into a lot of new music and tweaked my image a bit, my parents found out all about my self harm... and now they are being REALLY strict. No closing doors, I gotta do my art downstairs instead of in my room, my messages got searched, my room and bags are regularly searched, its like I have 0 privacy which ie ridiculous because I'm not going to fucking kill myself if left alone for... omg... a few moments :0

Whatever. They're trying. I love my dad. My mom... I love her too yeah, but idk, I have a weird reaction inside me to her touch, I'm like GETOFFME which is so weird???? But it makes me panicky. Idk why. There are so many things I dont know about myself. I proabably have BPD. IM PISSED at my parents for being so strict but I understand why. It's because they're scared I'll hurt myself real bad one of these days and the damage will be hospital/death level.

I haven't self harmed since I cut up my left leg... so that's how long... lemme check

Since September 11th

It's been only 8 days? WHAT THE FUCKKKK??? it feels like so much longer. I guess that's what it's like when you're addicted... time passes slowly. For example, it feels like FOREVER since I last smoked a cig, but it was really on the 17th.

I made a new friend which is cool. I'm going to call them Velo, which is in their disc user but not their actual name. Velo is pretty cool... they're a chill person, and I'm afraid I maybe came off as annoying, but I'm doing my best at social interaction,,, its been a long time.

Velo has been helping my tattoo my arm, I did a heart and they designed a face to go inside the heart. So far it's looking super epic! I also have a smiley face on my knee, a sad face on the other knee, and I'm going to do a sun so i can match my BFF, whos getting a moon.

Wow I'm so #rebellious

ANYWAYS I'm not here to talk about my shitshow life. I'm here cos I'm sad and I wanna talk about that and HONESTLY doing my best right now Not to hurt myself because I WANT TO HURT MYSELF!!!! so badly. But it makes me feel guilty,... my parents were so upset. Crying and shit. It made me feel so bad, but like, they shouldnt be doing all that crying shit in front of me... I swear sometimes they forget that I have feelings too...

Right now, I'm mostly upset about my slight weight gain... I'M FUCKING FAT and ugly as fuck, my acne meds dont seem to be working and I... my fucking face... is shaped WEIRD.... i look at my body and I dont even see anything remotely human it all looks disgusting and fat and gross and repulsive and like some kinda of monster and my skin is disgusting and full of acne like some kinda monstrous thing and I have got scars and scabs and... it hurts. It hurts knowing how fucking ugly I am. Seeing that other kids my age havent got dots all over their fucking faces, it's just me. Since I was 10 years old. And IM FAT holy shit I'm so fat I'm so ugly I dont even look human my lips are gross and my nose is fucked up and I dont even look like a boy becos my thighs and hips are fuckinf massive I hate seeing little blond children knowing theyll grow up without my fuckinf problems, I HATE IT, I HATE CHILDREN I WANT TO FUCKING KILL THOSE PERFECT FUCKING KIDS FUCK FUCK FUCKKK I hate seeing them knowing their family loves them and they never have to question that, knowing theyll grow up without the struggles of being trans, knowing theyll grow up without the struggles of being mentally ILL and of having everyone deny your sickness and assume you're a bad person and ruin your ability to trust adult authority figures and ruin your relationship with your parents and ruin your ability to walk into offices without crying or tensing up FUCK if I was a bit more off the rails than I am right now id take one of those little blond kids and beat the shit outta them because fUCK, FUCK, FUCK YOU, ,, WHY YOU ??? WHY YOU AND NOT ME? WHY??? WHAT COULD I HAVE DONE AS A CHILD TO DOOM ME TO THIS??? and the answer is nothing. It's not that kids fault, or my fault, or some fake gods fault, or my parents fault, or the teachers fault..... its nobodies fault. This is just how things ended up. A combination of faults from everyone. We are all to blame, but in little, complex pieces that make me think that nobody is to blame.

Its sadder having no one to blame. You cant rile up your anger and point a finger saying YOU did this to me, its YOUR fault... you just gotta put your head down on your desk and cry because there was nothing anyone couldve done to make it better for you.

I'm sad.

Yknow tonight when i went to bed, I couldnt find my nice pillow... it's one of those fuckinf memory foam cool whatever pillows with a batman pillowcase. I looked all over for it but then I realized that the pillow in question is the one I use at my DADS house.... and i broke down crying. I was confused, my brain was confused, between my two houses, because it was thinking of it's old life.... in one house... I'm not even upset about the divorce, I swear to god I'm not. It's just sometimes, my brain is confused about where i am... and I just find that so SAD. It's like oh, right, my parents dont love each other no more, I forgot about that for a moment.

Yikes. ANYWAYS. talking about this didn't help much cos I'm still bawling my eyes out. I'd love to smoke some to calm me down but I only have 2 and I'm saving em for lunch tommorow with my friend... goddamn. I give in. If I'm not too exhausted, I'm going to burn myself and then ill cry some more cos I look like freddy fuckin kreuger then I'll burn myself some more.

Goodnight guys... not that theres anyone out there whose even listening, who even CARES. Jesus.

[genderhawk]

A Long List of Marketable Skills

Aka; My Commissions Post

Capitalism exists, we all know the drill.

To commission me, get in touch via this form (link in full:  https://forms.gle/oubqobDyF8emSeXq5 )

All prices all negotiable based on my availability, your project, and the actual work needed.  These are just estimates so that you might better judge your ability to ask.

My Writing:

Narrative fiction (Most genres) - $5 starting, + $5 for every 500 words (some rounding)

Poetry (narrative, rhyming and free verse, epic, short, etc) - $10 base, price adjusted based on length and prompt

Academic work (Articles for zines/collections/etc) - $25 base + $10 a page + 15 for sources

Professional work (Ads, emails, newsletters, posters etc) - Prices vary heavily

Tabletop Games:

One shots: Dungeons and Dragons 5e, other systems considered (run and/or written by me, no published modules) - Written guides: Custom - $30 | From my private collection - $15 || Run by me: Custom - $55 | From my private collection - $40

Campaigns : Dungeons and Dragons 5e, other systems considered (run and/or written by me, no published modules) Written guide - $25/per session | Run by me - $40/per session

Character help: most systems (building, sheet format) - $15

Educational:

Tutoring: Reading comprehension, English composition, literature, history, theater/performing arts, political and social sciences, research skills - $15-30/hour depending on subject and difficulty

Spelling and Grammar editing for any work - $15/page

Essay help - $15/hour

I also give workplace sensitivity trainings, education on trans and nonbinary issues, and other assorted for educators and mental health professionals, and groups of all ages

Creative

Art refs: black skin, natural hair, scars from assorted surgeries, pose and lighting etc $10 for images I already have + $5 for new references

Audio recordings: Stories, articles, text books, poems, monologues etc - $15  for the first 10 minutes + $10 for each five minutes thereafter (discounts for childcare needs and/or accessibility of non-visual media can be discussed)

Sensitivity reading - $15 a page for cultural competence + $5/page hazard pay for any topics that might cause distress to be discussed | I can read for intermittent wheelchair use, blackness, autism, queer shit, genders, dissociative identity disorder, schizoaffective, probably more idk just ask

Commission availability depends heavily on current workload and the difficulty of your request and, in light of that, I will be open to discussion of commissions at any time (for as long as commissions remain open) but may not be able to accept them all. 

[aftgficrec]

What are your fav trans aftg fics? Any character!

The fandom has some beautifully written trans fics, and we had a hard time narrowing it down to our faves!  Below are a gripping war epic, sci fi hoverboard racing, two different criminal!neil josten options and a very personal post-top surgery snippet, one comedy and one sweet story of recovery from a tragedy. We hope you enjoy our selection!  -F

In Flanders Fields by Dhillarearen [Rated M, 70613 Words, Complete, AFTG Reverse Big Bang]

They said the war would be over by Christmas, but two years later Andrew is still in the trenches. Disillusioned and weary, he meets civilian doctor Neil Josten—a man with even more secrets than Andrew himself.

(tw: graphic depictions of violence tw: blood/gore, tw: death, tw: medical descriptions & procedures, tw: alcohol, tw: unsanitary conditions, tw: suicide ideation, tw: nationalism, tw: homophobia, tw: antisemitism, tw: racism, tw: sexism, tw: ableism, tw: transphobia, tw: implied/referenced drug addiction, tw: implied/referenced self-harm,  tw: implied/referenced csa,  tw: implied/referenced child abuse,  tw: implied/referenced domestic abuse)

NB: Art prompt for this work by @requiemofkings here, and art inspired by this work by @freshsunberries here

In The House of the Rising Sun by transandrewminyard [rated E, 23,727 words, incomplete 2019]

Andrew Minyard, in his most desperate moment, made a bargain with a man who wasn't entirely human. He did not regret it. He does not regret the new life he built for himself and his twin, in the mostly peaceful town of Millport, Arizona.

There are others like him. On the rails, Neil "Striker" Josten plagues Arizona territory, robbing trains at every turn, seemingly invincible. When Neil meets his match on a steam engine, not even lead in his gut can keep him down. But when he wakes up on Andrew's autopsy table, the crossroad of their lives will take them both in a new, dangerous direction.

(tw: blood, tw: gore, tw: gun violence)

All or Nothing by justdk [Rated T, 670 words, Complete 2020]

Neil and Andrew cuddle and kiss and reconnect after Neil's top surgery

(tw: scars)

Josten's Eight by moonix [Rated T, 11712 Words, Complete, 2020]

In which Neil and his merry band of misfits steal a shitload of jewels, as a treat.

(tw: alcohol)

Andrew Minyard: Tiny Gay Disaster by gluupor [Rated T, 17045 words, Complete 2019]

Andrew is fed up with Nicky continually setting him up with guys, so he devises a plan to get him to stop: he claims he's dating Kevin. Of course, with his luck, as soon as he declares himself off the market he meets Neil. Cue the useless gay pining.

Beautiful and Splendid Things by Dhillarearen [Rated T, 37,105 words; Complete 2019, AFTG Reverse Big Bang]  

Hobbes hasn’t been taught in a century, but if he were, Neil Josten would agree with his view on humanity. The only good thing about living is Exy, and being a member of a professional Exy hover-racing team means that Neil doesn’t have to think about anything else.

Enter Andrew Minyard.

(tw: violence)

NB: art prompt for this fic by @still-waiting-for-godot can be found here

The Home We Built by MakeBreakfastNotWar [Rating: M; 31,683; Completed 2018, AFTG Big Bang]

Aaron and Katelyn decide they want to have kids, and ask Kevin to be their sperm donor. When Aaron finds himself faced with raising the twins alone, Kevin steps in to help.

(tw: minor character death)

NB: we were unable to find the Tumblr art for this fic

[kero-reviews]

Happy Wednesday!!

This week I’m reading:

Tokyo Ghoul: Re Volume 5 by Sui Ishida

Gemina by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff

The Complete Sherlock Holmes Volume 1 by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

and The Language of Thorns: Midnight Tales and Dangerous Magic by Leigh Bardugo

I got to finish:

King of Scars by Leigh Bardugo

Go For It Nakamura! by Syundei

Otome Mania!! Volumes 1 & 2 by Tsukigase Yurino

Bloom Into You Volume 1 by Nakatani Nio

Yona of the Dawn Volume 18 by Mizuho Kusanagi

and Claudine by Riyoko Ikeda

A long upate! Thank you for waiting while I was on a small hiatus! I’m back now! Because I was so busy in May I feel behind on my reading list, so to make up for that I’ve upped my weekly goal to 5 books. So cheer me on that I can make that goal!! I will also be straying from my “this week I’m reading:” list a bit. I bought some thrift store books and had some great finds on Rightstufanime.com’s Pride sale at the beginning of the month, so I’m trying to get some of those read before I go back to my main focuses. I’m still including my main focus books though, because they’re what I want to be reading and actively working towards, even if progress is slow because I’m reading other wonderful things. Which I’m trying to get to as soon as possible.

That being said, I haven’t made much progress in Tokyo Ghoul: Re, Sherlock Holmes, or Gemina.

Language of Thorns is so much fun!!! It’s a collection of fairy tale-like stories from the different countries in the GrishaVerse. I’m only 2/6 stories through, but I’m enjoying it, and I’ve caught wind that there’s a Darkling cameo in it? I’m excited to find it if I heard right!! This is the newest installment in my book club with @books-take-flight and our final read with Leigh Bardugo works until the next one is released.

King of Scars was absolutely fantastic. I admit I had a hard time getting into the first half, but the second half reeled me in, in a way that no one but Leigh Bardugo could do. I was absolutely enthused to have more Nikolai and Nina. And having Zoya (a wonderfully developed, strong female character) take center stage was something I never knew I needed so badly. I loved it and I can’t wait until the next installment. I’ll be doing a mini highlight of this book when I get a chance in honor of PRIDE MONTH!

Go For It Nakamura was a thrift store find, that I was very wary towards... its cover- not so pretty. But it was very cheap, and I figured it would be a nice way to read a new LGBT series (especially one I’ve never even heard of before!) and would flip in a garage sale later on. HOWEVER! I won’t be doing that. I loved it. Yes, it’s very cheesy and not exactly a rot-your-teeth-sweet love story. But it’s a very nice slice of life. Each chapter is only a couple pages, and we get not only a romantic/coming of age story in the shorts, we also get a comedy. Because the chapters are so short, there’s not a lot of commitment needed on the readers end, but it’s definitely worth a read. I like having more relaxing, low-plot books to have on hand, because I feel like we could all use a story like this on our bad days. It’s a bit unfulfilling in the romance department, but we cheee for Nakamura anyway! I’ll also be doing a highlight of Go For it Nakamura in honor of Pride Month later on.

Otome Mania I got from the same thrift store as Nakamura, and had a similar attitude towards it going in. But I was pleasantly surprised by this duology too! I love how the story is about the Otome (dating sim) industry and reads like one! I only wish it were longer. We could have had a better developed plot, and better characters . It’s a duology manga, so all the conflicts are resolved unsatisfactorily quickly, and, like in an Otome game, our characters are introduced one at a time with that chapter being the chapter with their most screen time. While that works in a game, where you have the option of exploring that character again, in a manga it feels as though there’s too many characters to get attached to in such a short time. Regardless, I enjoyed it, and was surprised to see how few Goodreads users have read it (less than a 100! Only 55 for the second book!), i hadn’t heard of it before, but I still rarely see books on Goodreads have so few reads.

Bloom Into You! I’ve been wanting to read this book! I always get excited when I hear of a new LGBT book, and this one got a very popular anime as well! So I was sooooo ready to dive right in! Going in, I had high expectations, and it took a bit to get me invested. The characters are wonderful (they give me very Liz and the Blue Birds vibes), but not quite what I expected, which was my own fault. Once I got acquainted with who these two girls actually were, I started loving it. I can’t wait to read the next one, which I thought I ordered, but I was wrong so I have to wait. I’m cheering for their romance, but also their friendship as these two girls learn about themselves and each other in this sweet High School Romance. I will also give this book a highlight as soon as I can.

Yona of the Dawn! An absolute favorite series of mine that I can’t thank @books-take-flight more for. This book we get the Yellow Dragons past, and while I knew what was going to happen, Kusanagi writes the story so well and uniquely that it still broke my heart anyway. I’m waiting very eagerly for the next book and I hope this series continues and gets to live out the authors intent for as long as possible.

Claudine, another thrift store find. I almost didn’t buy this one, because I wasn’t a fan of the art ( I came around). However, we have a trans male protagonist and I couldn’t give that up. I went into it wary, because I had been under the impression that the series was about a trans FEMALE ( I was wrong) which meant that the title of this book was a dead name. So I was cautious going into this, and didn’t come around until I read some of the Goodreads reviews, and got to about the halfway point in the book where I became more interested in our hero’s story. The Goodreads reviews helped bring the zeitgeist into perspective for me. Particularly, that this story was written in the 70s. I don’t feel confident enough in my knowledge of the subject to use that to defend this work, but please look at Goodreads if you’re curious. Overall I was pleased by the story. The art felt very fitting after a while, and I was not prepared for how self contained and tragic this one shot is. I’ve felt dissatisfied with one shots before, but this book is so complete and planned that while I would LOVE to get more of Claude’s story, having what I do I can appreciate his story all the more. It reads almost like an old epic poem, where we go through the origin and then trials of Claude’s life. And it’s through his gender and identity that we see him learn how his true relationships differ from more shallow or lust-filled ones. I loved this book, even if it was heartbreaking. I’ll be doing a highlight on this book as well.

Thank you for bearing with a long update, and I hope you look forward to my highlights for Pride Month.

H❤️A🧡P💛P💚Y💙R💜E💖A❤️D🧡I💛N💚G💙!💜

🏳️‍🌈Kero-chan🏳️‍🌈

[paler-than-thou]

Oh sorry! The invasive gays thing!

OH. XD Fair enough and holy shit anon, you want even more oversharing huh ^^

OKAY SO

(putting this under a Read More for people, and this is for this post!)

1. What’s your gender?

Male, though I kinda say ‘transmale’ automatically these days.

2. what are your pronouns?

He/him

3. is your family accepting?

Hhhh on the whole, yes, though I do wonder sometimes.

4. what do you wish you could tell your past self?

The depression won’t magically fix itself, and the things you’re doing now are just going to make it worse. But...it does get better, it gets brighter and one day you’ll smile and realise it isn’t perfect, but it’s good.

5. what is your sexuality?

Asexual! And fucking proud of it.

6. favorite color?

Depends on mood, ranges from darkish-red (trying not to say blood red but that’s the actual shade) to green. If we’re talking combos? Black/white/red.

7. sun gay or moon gay?

I’d say moon, I get a lot of my light and shit from my friends 8D

8. when did you find out your sexuality?

Fairly recently, after a lot (and I mean a lot) of personal growth. From gay to bi to maybe?straight?no? to bi to demi to ace.

9. how was your day?

Quiet, thank you for asking ^^

10. do you have any gay friends?

I honestly don’t think I have any straight ones.

11. what’s your favorite hobby?

Modding, arting, being an ass

12. who’s the best gay icon in your opinion?

The ones who made it, the ones who are making it, the ones who still fight, the ones who stay silent, the ones who make noise. All of you.

13. which pride flags do you like the most design/color wise?

Design and colour-wise? Bi, pan, trans, and really REALLY like that Ace/Aro/Agen flags too. Good thing I’m trans, ace and aro then really huh XD

14. are you openly out?

Yup, and very much FIGHT ME about it.

15. are you comfortable with yourself?

I’d be lying if I said yes. Not 100%, but I’m at the ‘Do no harm, take no shit’ stage in life, and doing a lot better than I was.

16. bottom or top?

Depends on mood. Mostly top.

17. femme or butch?

Again, depends on mood. I’m a great hairy monstrosity, but I also like skirts and makeup.

18. do you bind?

Used to! Don’t have anything to bind any more though.

19. do you shave?

Not enough 8D I used to shave my legs, but after starting T and getting hair just everywhere, I gave up. I’m beardy, though and need to shave twice a day if I want to be clean-shaven the day through. Needless to say, I haven’t found anything worth shaving that often for.

20. if you could date anyone you wanted, who would it be?

Kinda already doing so with the people I want to ^^

21. do you have a partner (s)?

Yup! Two of them in fact.

22. describe your partner (s)?

How do you describe perfection? I can describe colour better than I can those two. Oh, wait, hold on. Lemme try.

One’s an Elder God from the unknowable reaches, their eyes the colour of exploding stars and their multitude of arms clad in the skin of forgotten nebulas that will never see the birth of a star, their mind the unending scream of creation that beguiles and bemuses the artist they bless with their knowledge.

The other? A dragon of death and thunder. Their body a cacophony of storms and rivers, clad in the scales of cold certainty and metal, bright with the sheen of the oceans and scars showing the wars they’ve won. Their eyes old and the colour of warmth, hypnotising and inspiring in turns. Their roar is one that uplifts their loves and scatters their enemies. 

That’s close, right, guys?

23. have you ever dated anyone of the same sex?

Ayup.

24. anyone of another sex?

Ayup.

25. pastel gay or goth gay?

Oh, goth, 100%. I can’t pastel to save my life.

26. favorite dad in dream daddies?

I have to choose?!

27. tell me a random fact about yourself?

I like pineapple on pizza, and have it every time I can :3

28. do you own any pride flags/merch?

Not enough. I hoard trans stuff, and get inordinately excited if I find something that makes up the flag.

29. have you ever been to a pride parade?

Once or twice. Unfortunately marching is not something I’m good at.

30. any advice to someone who isn’t out or who is exploring themselves?

Firstly: you do not have to ‘come out’. It’s entirely fine to spend your life pretty cool with who you are and not be interested in telling anyone. Us that are out aren’t somehow ‘better’ than you. Secondly, take your time. If you never quite manage to find where you sit, that’s okay! If you do, then that’s okay too. If it takes you years, that’s fine, if it takes hours then that’s cool too. If you find one label and it sticks for years, awesome! If you change it like clothes and have a new one each week, epic! There is literally no right way to be. Be what you want that’s true to yourself, and do not drag people for their choices.

Unless they choose to be assholes. Do no harm, but take no shit.

[wiremagazine]

THE FORT LAUDERDALE 9TH ANNUAL OUTSHINE FILM FESTIVAL TO CELEBRATE LGBTQ FILMMAKING

By Rafa Carvajal 

If you love films, you must attend the 9th edition of the Fort Lauderdale OUTshine Film Festival (October 6-15), featuring over 30 new films, great community events and honoring LGBTQ actor and activist Tommy Dorfman with the Lavender Award for excellence in LGBTQ film. Tommy plays the role of Ryan Shaver in Netflix's 13 Reasons Why and is a vocal supporter of LGBTQ rights. OUTshine’s opening night event kicks off at 8 p.m. in the NSU Art Museum Theatre with the screening of Close Knit (a Japanese film that won the Teddy Jury Award and the Panorama Audience Award at the Berlin International Film Festival earlier this year), followed by the red carpet and gala party. Go to outshinefilm.com for the full list of film screenings and to purchase film and event tickets.

I interviewed Joe Bilancio, OUTshine Film Festival’s director of programming, to learn more about this year’s films and how the festival is put together.

Rafa Carvajal: Tell our readers about his year’s OUTshine Film Festival. Joe Bilancio: As usual, the OUTshine Film Festival in Fort Lauderdale is sure to be a great time. Whether you have been coming the whole time we've been around or are new to the festival, it’s a wonderful chance to see the best of LGBTQ film along with parties and other special events.

RC: What are the highlights of the upcoming Festival? JB: I would not be kidding if I said they are all highlights, ha-ha. Of course, the opening night film Close Knit, which goes beyond the typical trans narrative and creates a sweet story that will be adored by all. Tom of Finland, the centerpiece film, goes beyond what you think you know about the man who created one of, if not the most iconic figure in gay culture and it’s a narrative. Saturday Church will have everyone on their feet singing and dancing in the aisles, yet it’s a poignant tale that needs to be seen.

RC: Which films do you think will stand out most and why? JB: High Low Forty, as it is a well crafted American indie film that many will relate to as family, and especially brothers. Its dry humor will play well to this audience. The Untold Tales of Armistead Maupin, Behind the Curtain: Todrick Hall and Chavela are all amazing documentaries that bring us up-close and personal with people who we might think we know... but do we?

RC: Describe this year’s festival in 3 words. JB: Do not miss! Do characters count? Ha-ha.

RC: Which events do you think attendees should look forward to the most and why? JB: I think one of the most interesting aspects of the festival is when we try to not only entertain, but also educate audiences. We often do this through the films themselves, but this year we are doing a panel discussion after a wonderful film called Families Like Yours, and it is meant to educate everyone on families of same-sex parents and how they are no different. While the film does a great job, we thought it would be a great way to reach out to the community and those contemplating adoption, foster parenting or other means to becoming a family. We are bringing together members of the community doing this type of work and people from the film to present a wonderful event. Even if you are not thinking about adopting now, or ever, it is still a great way to learn about this important topic.

RC: Which films are your personal favorites and why did you like them so much? JB: OK, I knew it was coming. I hate, hate, hate the question, as there are so many favorites and for various reasons... but I love Rift. It is a genre film that is hard to classify as elements of supernatural, romance, drama and a few others are evident. It takes place in Iceland and the rugged beauty and isolation play such an important role. I also love Kiss Me, as it is just silly and campy enough without going over the edge, and how many women can't relate to having 72 exes?

RC: Why is OUTshine so important for our community and LGBTQ filmmaking in general? JB: I think my answer might have been a little different even a few weeks ago, but now more than ever it is an escape to a place where we are still free to be who we are, and an opportunity to see ourselves portrayed on-screen. It is a chance to have a little fun and spend time together in a world that has its share of difficult times. While we are lucky to live in an area that is open and accepting for the most part, there are still members of our community who don't have that amity, and we provide that to them... even if just for a week.

RC: Explain the process OUTshine goes through in selecting the films for the upcoming Festival. JB: That sounds so easy and matter of fact, and it really isn't. But there are basically a few parts. We look at major festivals and see what LGBTQ films they have and try to get those films to take a look at and see if they make sense for our audience, as all audiences are different. We also have filmmakers send us films to take a look at. Once we have the pool of films, we then utilize a wonderful screening committee that watches and evaluates the films again, mainly on the merits of the films, but also the "fit" for the audience. The joy of the committee is that they are a microcosm of the audience and not film professionals who often look at films differently than audiences. With that knowledge, we decide what best fits the festival.

RC: What is your job at OUTshine Film Festival and what does your role entail?JB: I am the director of programming, and to boil it down to a simple sounding description, I find the films, watch the films, have the committee watch the films and then decide what films will make up the festival. A bit simplistic I know, as there is more to it, but that is it in a nutshell.  Programming the monthly screening series 954GLOW is also the responsibility of the programming function.

RC: Who is your favorite movie director of all time? Why? JB: Wes Anderson as I appreciate the quirkiness, yet accessibility of his films. They are art house films, yet they go mainstream. Most people have seen The Grand Budapest Hotel, and all of the Star Wars films. It really is a great mix.

RC: What do you enjoy the most about being the programming director of OUTshine Film Festival? JB: OUTshine is filled with an amazing staff (Victor Gimenez, Alexis Bosch and Jesus de la Salas), wonderful board members, amazing volunteers, and I think all of us and myself just want to ensure that the audience has a great time. That is the number one goal. It really is a family. We work hard, but also try not to take ourselves too seriously and I think that shows in the end.

RC: Is there anything else you would like to share with Wire Magazine readers about the Festival or any of the films? JB: I think they need to know that we are not just films. We have parties, special events, and access to filmmakers for Q&A session and informal meet and greets. Also, festival films are not scary, ethereal films. While often provoking and timely, they are also pure entertainment like no other. Take a chance and I think you will be happy you did.

SPOTLIGHT FILMS:  14 OF THE BEST 2017 OUTSHINE FILM FESTIVAL FORT LAUDERDALE EDITION FILMS

Photos provided by OUTshine Film Festival

120 BEATS PER MINUTE (120 BATTEMENTS PAR MINUTE) (France, 2017) Director: Robin Campillo In French, with English subtitles 

OUTshine Synopsis: In the early 1990s, with AIDS having already claimed countless lives for nearly ten years, ACT UP-PARIS activists multiply actions to fight general indifference. Nathan, a newcomer to the group, has his world shaken up by Sean, a radical militant who throws his last bits of strength to the struggle for rights, access to treatment, and to be more than a statistic. 120 Beats Per Minute is more than a historical epic of the ACT UP movement in Paris; it is a beautiful story of deep love that is rarely seen on-screen. 

AFTER LOUIE (U.S., 2017) Director: Vincent Gagliostro

OUTshine Synopsis: Sam (Alan Cumming), is an artist/activist from ACT UP who lived through the early years of HIV/AIDS. He is scarred and still struggling with survivor's guilt. He is bewildered by a younger generation of carefree gay men with their uninhibited use of social media, sexting, and seeming political indifference, but when he meets the seductive young Braeden (Zachary Booth) their pants quickly come down and, eventually, so does Sam's guard. As the pair become increasingly intimate, an intergenerational relationship blossoms between them-one capable of reawakening Sam's artistic soul and reviving his wilted heart.

AGAINST THE LAW (UK, 2017) Director: Fergus O'Brien

OUTshine Synopsis: The film follows the affair between celebrated Fleet Street journalist Peter Wildeblood and serviceman Eddy McNally. The exposure of their relationship had devastating consequences, leading to public vilification and prison sentences for Wildeblood and his friends Michael Pitt-Rivers and Lord Montagu of Beaulieu. Enduring a year-long incarceration that involved attempts to alter his sexual orientation, Wildeblood emerged with a determination to challenge the draconian laws that shattered the lives of generations of gay men. The narrative is interspersed with commentary from many of the actual people portrayed in the film.

B&B (UK, 2017) Director: Joe Ahearne

OUTshine Synopsis: Handsome gay Londoners Marc and Fred plan a weekend of mischief, returning to bait the owner of a remote B&B who they successfully sued a year prior for not allowing them to share a bed. Events take a deadly turn when another guest, with far more sinister intentions, arrives. Marc and Fred's weekend of fun turns into a suspenseful battle for survival in this smart, comedic dark thriller. B&B will keep you guessing 'til the end.

CLOSE KNIT (KARERA GA HONKI DE AMU TOKI WA) (Japan, 2017) Director: Naoko Ogigami In Japanese with English subtitles

OUTshine Synopsis: After being abandoned by her mother yet again, 11-year-old Tomo moves in with her good-natured uncle Makio, only to find that he is now living with his transgender girlfriend Rinko. Though a bit surprised at first, Tomo soon bonds with Rinko, a soft-spoken caretaker who makes exquisite lunch boxes. Rinko teaches Tomo to knit and showers her with motherly warmth. Though faced with prejudices and challenges, the three reimagine the nuclear family, on their own terms. Close Knit is a big-hearted film that depicts an alternative family structure with gentle candor.

DREAM BOAT (Germany, 2017) Director: Tristan Ferland Milewski In English, German, French and Arabic with English subtitles

OUTshine Synopsis: Once a year, the Dream Boat sets sail for a gay-men-only cruise. Far from their families and political restrictions, we follow five men from five countries on a quest for their dreams. The cruise promises seven days of sunshine, love, and freedom – but on board are also their personal stories, their doubts and uncertainties. Through it all Dream Boat shows us once and for all that each of us needs, craves and wants the same thing: someone to love us for exactly who we are.

FAMILIES LIKE YOURS (U.S., 2017) Director: Rodolfo Eduardo Moro

OUTshine Synopsis: Through candid interviews and humorous real life stories, Families Like Yours demystifies LGBTQ families and their lives, showcasing that they are just as loving, busy, and complicated as any other family. The film follows six families as they attempt to balance work and school, rush kids to sports practice, and deal with diaper duty. From across the nation and in all different stages of family life, from conception to grandchildren, these families represent a cross-section of the modern American family – the only difference is that they are LGBTQ families.

FREAK SHOW (U.S., 2017) Director: Trudie Styler

OUTshine Synopsis: In the vein of Clueless and Napoleon Dynamite, Freak Show tells the moving, heartwarming, and hilarious story of Billy Bloom, a boldly confident, wildly eccentric teenager, who faces intolerance and persecution at his ultra conservative high school, and decides to fight back on behalf of all the misunderstood freaks of the world by running for homecoming queen. Starring Alex Lawther with Laverne Cox and Bette Midler. 

GOD'S OWN COUNTRY (UK, 2017) Director: Francis Lee

OUTshine Synopsis: Johnny Saxby works long hours on his family's remote farm in the north of England. He numbs the daily frustration of his lonely existence with nightly binge-drinking and casual sex. But when a handsome Romanian migrant worker arrives to take up temporary work on the family farm, Johnny suddenly finds himself having to deal with emotions he has never felt before. As they begin working closely together, an intense relationship starts to form which could change Johnny's life forever. God's Own Country is captivating and broodingly beautiful and a must see!

I DREAM IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE (SUEÑO EN OTRO IDIOMA) (Mexico, 2017) Director: Ernesto Contreras In Spanish with English subtitles

OUTshine Synopsis: An indigenous language (Zikril) is in peril as its last two speakers had a quarrel in the past and haven't spoken to each other in over 50 years. Martín, a young linguist, will undertake the challenge to bring the old friends back together so he can obtain a recorded history of the language and study it. However, hidden in the past, in the heart of the jungle, lies a secret concealed by the language that makes it difficult to believe that the heart of Zikril will beat once again.

LAST DAYS IN HAVANA (ÚLTIMOS DÍAS EN LA HABANA) (Cuba, 2016) Director: Fernando Perez In Spanish with English subtitles 

OUTshine Synopsis: A tragicomedy that tackles the subject of friendship in a city on the verge of substantial change. Miguel and Diego are neighbors and friends. Miguel is a dishwasher who dreams of settling in New York waiting for a visa that never seems to arrive. Diego is a homosexual suffering from AIDS who puts his dreams and cheerfulness to good use in his struggle to carry on enjoying every single day of his life from his bed. This peculiar pair are surrounded by an oddball set of characters from all walks of life.

SATURDAY CHURCH (U.S., 2017) Director: Damon Cardasis

OUTshine Synopsis: Working single mother, Amara, leaves her two boys at home with their domineering Aunt Rose. Rose has her eyes on the older son Ulysses as he steals nylons and wears his mother's shoes. Ulysses is just beginning to explore his identity and sexuality. When Rose demands an end to it, the boy escapes to the Village and discovers both supportive friends and the inspiration to become exactly what he is feeling inside. A musical coming-of-age story is all the better for tackling multiple sides of the young LGBTQ experience, with compassion and heart combined.

THE LAVENDER SCARE (U.S., 2017) Director: Josh Howard

OUTshine Synopsis: With the United States gripped in the panic of the Cold War, President Dwight D. Eisenhower deems homosexuals to be "security risks" and orders the immediate firing of any government employee discovered to be gay or lesbian. It triggers a vicious witch hunt that ruins tens of thousands of lives and thrusts an unlikely hero into the forefront of what would become the modern LGBTQ rights movement. The Lavender Scare shines a light on a chapter of American history that has never received the attention it deserves. 

TOM OF FINLAND (Denmark, 2017) Director: Dome Karukoski In Finnish with English subtitles

OUTshine Synopsis: Touko Laaksonen, a decorated officer, returns home after a harrowing and heroic experience serving his country in World War II, but life in Finland during peacetime proves equally distressing. He finds post-war Helsinki rampant with homophobic persecution with men around him even being pressured to marry women and have children. Touko finds refuge in his liberating art, specializing in homoerotic drawings of muscular men free of inhibitions. His work, made famous by his signature 'Tom of Finland', became the emblem of a generation of men and fanned the flames of a gay revolution.

This was originally published in Wire Magazine Issue 37.2017

[natusabout]

about me!!

hi im natu!! :•D

past urls: islandofdodos, corazonc0re, amorc0re

about

🌻 she / they + lesbian !!💫🌼🧸🌱💛

🌻 latina (argentinian) + 13 y/o (bday is feb 14) + follow my gf!!

🌻 i can speak spanish and english!

🌻 mutuals can ask for my discord ;•O

dni:

🌈basic dni stuff (racist, lgbt phobe, ableist, etc etc duh)+ t/erfs +rad/fems + trans/meds + m/aps + no/maps } if u excuse any of these things

🌈 over 30 (im totally cool with 18+ y/os following me tho :•o) + if u hc kids as ace (unless ur an ace kid!!)

🌈 fujo/shi + k/ink + dd/lg

pls tag:

🌼pics of irl self harm cuts (i don't mean scars, i mean like fresh cuts) or pics with razorblades near irl bare arms n stuff (fyi i don't really mind if they're drawings sjdj)

🌼this isn't really trigger but if yall could tag hmestuck n vivzpop thatd b epic😌

if ur lazy like me and just need a catchall tag : ndl

stuff i like:

🌱anime/manga(more 2b added): the promised neverland + mp100 + hq!! + fma + hxh + kimi ni todoke + ao no flag + carole and tuesday

🌱films: ghibli films (kikis, howl, whisper of the heart) + a silent voice + the girl who leapt through time

🌱games: cookie run + the sims

🌱other: lovecore + cottagecore + sanrio + vocaloid

tags:

💞personal posts : natu.txt + my art: natu.draws + my edits: natu.edits

if u ever need anything tagged lmk!