#toxic is an addicting flavor isn't it

[lamentingocean]

▪︎MONGRANG X JAHA▪︎

- Return of the Crazy Demon-

-Dystopian Post Apocalyptic Wasteland Edition-

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Warning: murders, call of duty ass battles, survival, and genuine tension of one's safety, and slight relationship break, clashes against one's forces, delicious angst, flirting, kinda slow burn.

(Got the idea from a same ambience I listened to while I fell asleep)

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the society is broken and in danger of extinction all in one day, only one incident or the decision of a person can cost the systematic lives of a million people like Adam and eve as the first humans on the earth to make a decision full of hungry greed to cost most of humanity's flaws and suffering.

supplies and water are scarcely limited, the air is radioactive and toxic to the human body enough to make you wheeze and cough all the way to death due to minutes of being in that environment without the use of a important gas mask, societal changes is something most can't handle or survive, some can adapt right in and some can't live without their families or friends in a society in which trust and love is a gambling dice roll. Win some or you lose some, die to a gunshot to the chest, or devote your life in survival and love to the ones you hold dear. But these two individuals adapted from the moment humanity had depopulated and lived in danger constantly.

mongrang and jaha were two mafia company assassins. each of them are skilled gunslingers, mastery of hand to hand combat, and survival expertise. their companies were enemies, two sides of the same coin, waging war is something they did for years and years until one had to win both the battle and the war.

jaha is much more skilled in combat due to his brute strength, while mongrang matches him in strength but can't match up to his reflexes, one time: jaha actually took down a enemy mafia marriage in the middle of a wedding venue, he broke in, decimated every single one of the groom's bodyguards and murdered them both. taking a sip of their raspberry wine before the last one was brutally mutilated with his bare hands. while mongrang was at a sex club, at his usual personality, and was attracted to a beautiful big booty woman. He stared at them in his disguise before he did his job. killing the leader like he's only a pebble, a pawn, an ant, and a sex driven vile man only capable of seeing pussy and fucking bitches onto his sheets that been washed over and over by how much bodily pleasure essence had spilled over and over like a broken record.

before society changed, life was always controlled by someone or something no matter how free we were or how safe we were from the dangers of the higher-ups, the richer class whom only see the pebbles like us as disposable, only as a peice of trash that's thrown in the garbage, it's always the same. we live by processed food and snacks while they live off ingredients and gourmet foods made by the freshest meats and vegetables. unfair, truly unfair. no matter what. we are always controlled, and we fans of the wealthy do nothing to stop it.

dystopia isn't just a fictional concept in a book or a concept art in a fictional universe made by a intellectual but it's real life, and it's a business tactic, it's a way to earn more money out of control out of the innocent, its dangerous, addictively captivating to the powerful, destructive, and risky. the one key to the end of society just by the cause of greed and a hunger for power. The mere flavor and taste of power to those bastards is like the most delicious dessert in the entire world to them that they never tried in a lifetime, the one key named the "world ender" unlock the door to see a lifetime of money and achievement by the idea of never caring about the people you control, and then..

Every action is your fault. The door shuts, and everything collapses, leaving a handful of survivors to figure out the new age of life.

bunkers are valuable on all fronts, can not be disposed of, and can murder someone to get one in a world either if it's killed or be killed, pick one to end your life or continue this worthless chapter.

Jaha had a bunker at the deep bottom of the mountain outside of the city, his home, and where his companions like hongshin and seongtae can hang out, laugh, and play cards during these tough times, they got a whole stack of food, cans of food and soup, and medical supplies just in case,

mongrang has a home at the top of the abandoned ceo company.

right in one of the conference room where his home resides in.

Stacks of food as a stolen large desk, a pink shelf out of a teenage girl's room. a hand-made mattress, some entertainment such as chess and darts. very lonely environment in the dark brown and black radioactive peppered sky with the windows shut and the doors closed. He sighed as he basked in the dangerous beauty of an apocalypse, basking in the old and grimy flavor of 2000s year old vegetable soup as it fills the tongue with its old nourishing flavor of metal, tomatoes, beets, carrots, and potatoes.

the sounds of footsteps was behind him in the depths of the dark office halls.

a unknown hand that looks like a woman slipped a note under mongrang's door, a stamp of a death mask on it, a warning sight of mongrang's remaining and surviving mafia company owners to continue to kill and kill during these hard times, the constant drama of these forces are like two sisters in a big family fighting over the TV remote to watch either frozen or Shrek. the decision has to be one.

he picked it up in confusion, looked at the halls to see who this individual was but she or he...was gone like a flash of lightning in a dark stormy night, the letter was met with red paint signifying the lust for blood as the cursive went from up to down to all the details of the mission he's about to be assigned to it, it struck him curious for the reward of completion. is it money? is it hot girls from the wild who have been fished out of the dangers of the city to become a hot badass? is it an immense amount of food and water? the mention of jaha's mafia company at the bottom of the paper made it much more irritatingly difficult for the path to completion at the finish line for reward.

"he might be there." he thought over and over.

he ripped the papers to tiny pieces on the dirty floor, making mental notes of the job.

Going to the next door office where his weaponry supplement is.

Pump shotgun, a assault rifle, sniper, revolver, machine gun, smg, knife, blade, sitting there like a snack, picked out like an obedient weapon to use, his hands grasped the tip of both the blade made by the blacksmith: sword demon of his company headquarters and a ordinary sniper.

two of them latched onto his back as his gas mask covered his entire face.

the halls were dark and dirty as he left his small home.

black mold growing on the walls, plantation taking in effect at the first floor building.

he dropped down to the elevator by foot with no damage. legs not even broken like infinite level durability. the main lobby was ruined, stacks of paper on the floor, furniture ripped up into peices, dead bodies on the floor. they look new like someone had been here before, pink mold, and a deadly scent of decomposition and rotting intestinal organs, covering his nose in the horrible odor, his blade ready to strike at anybody just in case. makes him wonder if the ignorance of humanity is our downfall to a catastrophic event such as this to decimate a million people out of authority and control for others. he walked into the deserted war and murder infested streets, abandoned cars, every building in ruin except for the company called "home." Nobody was alive or out there yelling for help in the radioactive mist.

The memory was vast. He can recall it happening before all this apocalyptic chaos began, people screaming in terror, shots fired into the flesh of the innocent, everyone hiding, trembling, trying to figure out what's going on by relying on this dystopia government as the key to fix everything that's happening but no. the complete opposite. it opened the door to oblivion to half of the undeserving-of-death human souls in these used-to-be-active with joy streets, and now it's all gone like a blink of an eye waking up from a nostalgic dream and seeing the nightmare before you. the memory had him stand, staring into the toxic mist, staring into nothingness as the memories continued to flicker.

the government's false salvation in protecting their people, the mindless and brainwashed trust of those who believe their mouths full of lies directly on the TV, major alerts and emergencies across the city, and a witnessed murder of a reporter by a million people which tied to this chaos. it pains the heart of his soul, a man who used to be blinded by lust. Sir mongrang is now paralyzed with the harsh truth that comes before his eyes, accepting the horrible fate of those who been brainwashed.

hell or heaven. pick one for how much wrong you did in your life.

actually. you don't have a choice. your wrongdoings in this world are a setup for giving you immense eternal torture. the torture was the army, lit fire onto everybody for not abiding by the rule to praise these governors, thinking they are God but is only a rich and intelligent human pebble of trash loving the suffering and the mindless desperate praise of the brainwash they caused. it's all so sickening enough to make him throw up. but he held it in, like a barrage of emotions filling his throat and mind of someone he can and can't handle. it's like a poisonous fluid made to crush your heart into pieces out of the truth. but despite all of that...

the mission is more important than staring into space by the memories of that horrible doomsday. his footsteps echoed in the empty streets, the sound of gunshots in the air, mongrang's sniper in his hand. The mission area will soon commence the abundant masquerade of endless murder and mutilation of each other. it's an abandoned neighborhood with a couple of survivors that doesn't have long yet to live. The neighborhood is initially used as a battleground for our wars and our deathmatches, usually being active for its normality in catching bodies. It's miles and miles away. a long walk back to his home and a long walk to the battleground where his enemy fights and killed in such a blood spreading Japanese dance with a storyline only for destorying his enemies, a paradoxical intricate well written hand made storyline by a individual possessed with a emotion called "madness" so very amusing..

The mile felt agonizing, like it took a million years. Step by step to this worthless mission, the only purpose of completion is the reward out of it. But it comes to realization that not everything you do requires a reward at the end of it. The way of life is such a well written type of book in the minds of all of the population of humanity on earth, like an archive of lessons to follow if you want to survive and life. read every single document and note, and then you'll get your wish forward to the depths of what it's like to win. Surely, the cost of living is the most valuable out of any item in the world.

he finally arrived. His enemy company had already arrived to cause the most havoc out of anybody, and each of them had a japanese word spelled "death" on the top of their gas masks, mongrang broke into a small apartment building northwest near the area, stepped up to see a broken window and pointed his sniper to the targets ahead. the guns already blitze ablaze in the mist, reloading with each proficient shot, spilling the blood out of a caught body. the mist makes it harder to see, mongrang caught 8 bodies in the midst of their company wars, one individual in the ferocious, destructive battleground moved like a navy aircraft mastering sonic boom, moved like a agile snake. mongrang aimed his sniper at this individual, widening his eye in shock to see 5 of his company men get killed with ease.

The last enemy was at ground, hiding behind a car to hit his shot against this individual, mongrang went back to the first floor building to switch to his assault rifle. This individual sped fast, knowing both of them are in the vicinity. he lit bullets onto them, dropping death.

one survivor of his company stepped back in horror.

this individual's blade raised up to strike, He lunged forward and counter-attacked with his sniper, asking the survivor to run away. And so they did, leaving them both to scrape their weapons against each other with a surge of strength. the full appearance of this unknown specimen is none other than his worst enemy, the one who put laxatives in his beer at a bar before this apocalypse began, the one who embarrassed him all over social media by taking photos of his shit covered white pants, the one and only jaha Lee. he sheathed his blade out of his sniper. beyond the gas mask sees a face of recognition.

"the...sex demon?"

"It's me, so what? You put some of my company men down to slush. I never expected you to be this powerful during this apocalypse. did you train extra to try and get a little sick pleasure out of killing my men?"

" ..."

the silence remains crushing between the two of them.

"Sick pleasure? I'm doing my job to survive. what are you doing? huddling in an abandoned company building. while you seem to be so against me. how about you kill me and end this self-righteous conflict once and for all?"

he has always been the one to make crazy decisions, but seriously?

"Are you serious-"

"Do it if you're so desperate to live without a homicidal maniac like me to hunt you down like wolve towards its prey. That's what you think of me, right? just a psychopathic usurper?"

"I didn't ask to kill you. I wanted the job done as much as you do. walking here is a bitch."

"Ok. if you want to survive. Then better do what you're told to do. not act out of recklessness and greediness out of a reward for sniping many of my men."

This man is telling me stuff i already know.

"How did you know that?"

"mongrang, pay attention to the speed of your shots. You were too quick with one man after another. That tells me you wanted the job to be done as quickly as possible. Fire your shots carefully like it's a piece of art on a board ready to be shown at a competition. Not just do it because you want to go back home to your big booty woman pictures."

"so what...?"

"Train a little more. we're both powerful and highly dangerous individuals in this ruined, cannot-be-rebuilt society. I expect you to be as equally powerful as me in combat but it looks like I was wrong."

I pointed my finger to his chest as my voice has hints of irriation behind my gas mask.

"wrong? Oh so you think your better than me?"

"arrogance and narcissism is weakness. I didn't say I was better. I expect more of a challenge between you and me, mongrang. take that as you will. the dangers of the world is the definition of change in a person. For example. a girl I know. her name is hongshin. a bubbly cat-like personality before the apocalypse came and purged us all like a bunch of ants to gasoline and fire to a person who really HATES bugs. after the apocalypse set the society to a life of kill or be killed, she's much more serious and has the need to steal things if any food store is available in this destroyed city, like a monster in combat because she would rather brutalize her enemies with proficiency and in a solid motion than rather stick to aggressive uneven combat. she's an example of you. arrogant and cocky. but grew out of it over time. you haven't. suck it up."

he turned his back away from me, keeping his blood oozing blade at his hand as his words struck me like a slap to the face.

He disappeared into the brown mist. I can't deny it. It's the truth, but I want to deny every word since this bastard basically judged the way I shoot. I didn't fill my mind about it since that's the last thing I need to be worried about. I'm starving. I looked at the grocery store, but half of the food was probably mold and covered in disgusting flies, maggots, and a whole bunch of shit. I decided "ahh fuck it" and headed towards it.

the doors were shut, but some of the windows were broken enough for me to climb inside. the smell is horrible, like an odor of someone's shit molding in the toilet after they been shot in the middle of doomsday. I heard some voices in the back of the shelves.

it's jaha but with a woman. is that the woman he mentioned before? Hongshin? either way.. I need a casket or a bag to fit all of my items. just in case. the cans of food in the aisle are fresh, with tomato soup, vegetable soup, clam chowder, cheesy macaroni soup, chef boyardee, cups of Ramen and macaroni but sadly electricity in this city is out, gone like a broken barbie audio doll. I take all the remaining items and put them into my basket. I see some chocolates and chips on the floor at some of the other aisles, I taken one basket out of the floor to fill up more of my food stocks, the bags of chips were poured onto my basket like a waterfall. one basket full of nourishing, filling food, and one was just processed snacks. I think that's all for now. I don't have to pay for it, which is a good thing. I head out back to my "home," but it's only an abandoned company owned by a ceo from the death.

I keep seeing ghosts and spooky paranormal sightings every time I find the bathroom or go down to the basement to take a shower since a lot of people must have die in the horrible doomsday set up by a egotistical mass murderer such as the mayor or the president controlled by this cryptic, vastly relying on the mouths of lies by the rich to save their butts by a army that might be used for pointing the assault rifles not to the main enemy but to us. it's like pouring acid onto your mouth as you're forced to feel every single inch of the burning pain at seeing how beautiful and stank the sin of lies are, especially when it's knowledgeable that it's a ordinary sin to commit. but you have to be skilled at it. that's how you deceive and manipulate.

I arrived at the company lobby, that same rotting corpse scent, continuing to purge my nose with its horrid odor every time I step in and step out. I make my way to the staircases. some of them are falling off their hinges, but he's all the way at the top. You might as well hereby declare the "Acrobatic Fanaticism" challenge! when he has to jump like a monkey to access the place he wants to access without losing the stuff he got, and it's truly successful, the challenge is complete. at the top level was a bin full of broken hearts at his front door.

he set his food baskets down to read the note at the side of the bin, taking off his gas mask.

it said, and I quoted:

"Thank you for completion! Your remarkable and formidable gunsmanship is always 10/ 10 when we come to analyze the bodies at the scene. as a reward for your hard work.. but before i say what it is. Your sniper shots hit them directly in the head. WOW! thats not anything special by the way.~ just so im clear, here is fresh bread and woman soap bars, big booty magazines and pictures of old 1990s models and some money to help yourself to our blacksmith/ our weaponry shop all the way at the company and a legal contract displaying your existence as being a pawn to us. Have a great apocalyptic day!

-Signed Sournan Mafia Company Maiden-

utterly despising, the gift is pretty solid since those bastards don't give me what I need to survive. what I'm the most mad about this entire gift is the no DEODORANT. Don't want to smell like sweaty balls and old blood at the time. but...this really is the best they can give me. in this day and age when survival is key and murder is a must. I must be grateful for the things I get. I set my baskets down to place them at my food shelves and the chips all in the corner for me to eat as a midnight snack. I changed into my usual clothes to get ready for tomorrow because these fuckers love overworking the hell out of me. I lay down in the mattress.

taking my mind off everything that's been going on. I been thinking about what jaha said before the mission came to a close, on repeat and repeat for the last 5 minutes of laying in this poorly constructed mattress out of killing sheep and taking their fuzzy adorable skin to worth my while to actually sleep comfortably than rather sleep on this dirty office floor. it's minecraft people. Enough jokes. his words are cutting me like a knife. I was too focused on this piece of shit of a reward that I hit my shots too quickly, and now he's mad. it's like...he predicted the moment i rushed into that battleground to get the job done only to come to the most out of pocket shit known to mankind.

I can't stand him. That crazy bastard is known for never making sense because his madness is controlling him like a day to day ordinary virus, but he's philosophical and intelligent at the same time, ruthless and monstrous in war like a calculated formidable and territorial creature out to seek their prey, his words keep cutting me like getting your throat slit open over and over and still isn't dead yet but you forgot your immortal. he wants.. a challenge from me. instead of being the sloppy uncultured and untalented combatants that he hates with every fiber. to be a real opponent to him instead of beating the life out of my men. like it's opening a doorway to the truest of rivalry between us. I admire his boldness and his determination to seek a challenge beyond the depths of this poisonous, deadly mist.

I imagine both of us fighting like dogs in the middle of the street, slicing the meat off each other's bones, leaving bruises and open wounds on each single part, squirting out oozes of blood out of our constantly gushing human body as we fight for our individual territories upon this empty land, pointless conflict and illusion to claim and never receive out of violence or misery of others since that's all we know how to do, the conflict between me and him is like a seeping hatred, a tedious concept of both of us in a freezing ocean-shore, protecting the ones we hold dear as we're both in agony, in conviction, and in unease of our motives to either kill or spare. All so tiring in a society full of fight and kill.

either it ends forever by your decision, or it dont.

I stare at my hand conflicted, questioning the concept of "conflict." Is it a virus? Is it addictive? Is it natural for humans to be so against each other as if we all aren't the same? is it built just for one's own demise in self-destruction? is it systematic? Is it any truth as to why conflict is such a necessary motivation to accomplish with each other? this all points to jaha. all of this pent-up confusion about the existence of wars and endless suffering of humans.. points directly to his face beyond that insufferable gas mask. This can't be on my mind for the entirety of the night since it can drive you crazy by unanswered questions.

my eyes slowly fluttered close, entering the dreamworld. the VHS tape of the mind that creates homemade movies for you to pass them time, some of them may be weird, confusing, or possibly alerting. some of them may kill you or terrify you for the future ahead. Keep it mind as you will.

The next morning.

the appalling murky toxic mist made its rise, fluttering my eyes open to the scene of that same apocalyptic abandoned, purged city. my brown hair is unsightly, uneven, and too knotty to be brushed. I reached an old scrunchy in the corner and tied my hair. I was brushing the dirt off my face before I saw another letter at my door.

Picking it up to see what my next mission is for today. it quoted:

"Target an enemy crime group northwest of the city ruins. their influence upon our headquarters is mass murder, theft, assassination attempt at our boss, and hate crimes by putting up a war flag on our front doors, including some broken windows and injury battered ragdolls replicating us. deal with them asap but with that same accurate precision. Your reward is pre-determined by the time you get there to kill those fuckers. Our enemy will interfere with the mission as well so don't fuck up mongrang. Counting on you to stay alive."

-Sign Sword Demon- Number 1 Sword wielding badass."

Sword demon? He doesn't write letters, so if he's writing to me about this, then this has to be serious.

I slammed the note onto the floor to put my bulletproof bodysuit on with a menacing fur coat. I decided to use my blade for today instead of using my guns to kill. I slid my hands to its metal depths, cradling the handle and admiring it as a whole. to see how many bodies I would catch by sticking it inside the target's flesh. I'll bring extra knives to ensure more pain, hear their shrill screaming of pain, and hear their agonizing groans and shouts of pure affliction by my hand. it's euphoric. As I ponder out of my ways to think of eliminating the enemies off the face of the earth.

I still need to focus. My gas mask was hanging at the side of my food shelf. I tied it all around the back of my neck to put it on. Usually, the concept of gas masks is supposed to protect you from any kind of radiation, but the way they designed it is so uncomfortable. I try to get used to it every time I wear it to go back to the grocery store or to find handy items to use for my own personal benefits. Either way, it doesn't matter.

I walk out into the halls, quiet and deserted. No human life in plain sight.

landed down to the main lobby out of the elevator successfully. I see more bodies than usual in the lobby. I don't even know who's doing this.

I forgot to say something about this company. Before the end of the world came into motion. some snobby ceo installed an underground bunker to stock drugs and other illegal material, items, and junk to make more of that rich finances. Unfortunately, the government shut down their deeds, forcing them to throw all the illegal substances into the deep black numbing ocean. The company ceo itself got assassinated by some russians as a missionary determination to get that money out of their safe or pockets. so after all of these unnecessarily morbid dramatizations. some intelligent vegetarians who took pride in farming took the company to be a food production system. That same basement may be discovered soon enough if it's people out there with the intent to take it all for themselves, such a rare specimen in a apocalypse is one to be fought for no matter what. I haven't found where it is yet, but maybe that's the reason why people keep coming here but ended up dropping deceased by something or someone.

nevertheless. this must be done. He said northwest, right? I sprinted all the way to the location. but wait.. if the enemy is going to interfere, then does that mean help? who is the enemy? Is it jaha? Is it hongshin? unanswered questions have enough raw potential to put me in a mental asylum for a week or more.

I finally appeared at the side of a broken debris to hide. the crime group was inside. smoking cigarettes and eating microwaved hot pockets as their gaurds observed every part of the city in their gaze, I proceeded with caution, hiding behind rocks closest to their hang out, My initial question is: "How do they have electricity? every spark of power in this city is disintegrated." Are they working for someone to keep this kind of stuff? as I overthink rapidly.

An entity bolts directly in front of the hideout and executes the gaurds effortless. it's HIM.

jaha. that reckless shithole-

the crime group shrieked their ambush. flinching me to look what's about to happen.

calling in a collection of men with multiple hand-held nukes, machine guns, and poison bombs. they all pointed it at jaha, ready to launch their assault on the mad demon.

it all lit fire, I watch as jaha evade and evade each of them to get closer to the targets ahead. Once he's looming over them like a blood driven predator, raising his blade and piercing each of them with a ticket to the afterlife, releasing a bloodcurdling scream as he continues to handle them like a bitter inhumane entity. some of them were still alive, so I decided to take a chance to catch a body. But something else happened.

I noticed a tank behind me.

the leader of the crime group is inside the tank as I hear a cruel laughter out of its hole. he also noticed and yelled, "Watch out!"

I jumped out of the way. it's cannon is lighting bright red to fire bullets at both of us.

I didn't know what to do. Was I going to die? a human can get fucking crushed by the mere weight of a tank.

It fires all over me, bracing for my demise. but I felt hands onto my back and knees. this man saved me from its onslaught. but at the cost of jaha's arms and shoulders getting shot as he sprinted away like the flash. I witnessed his pain seeping out of his nochalant facade as he got far away from that thing by hiding inside of a small gas station.

"Hah..ngh.."

the sweat dripped off his forehead as he ripped off the gas mask.

"Are you ok..? I have a bit of experience in the medical profession. I can get the bullets of your system."

"Yeah.. hurry up and do it.. I got a job to do.."

"Sit right here.."

"Your lap..?"

he sighed in pain and vexation, hesitating.

"It's the only thing I can do. Don't be stubborn."

"Fine.."

he sat himself onto my lap, asking:

"How deep is the bullets..?"

"not...deep..you can..fish it out with ease.."

I rummage through my bag to take out a forceps bullet extractor and got it out of a medical store just for my own safety in getting shot by some delinquents, bandages, and patches to seal the wound closed.

as jaha's body tensed, ready for the pain in fishing out the bullets inside him. I reached into his flesh, searching for it. He winced and held his grunts of pain.

"How many bullets are in your arms?"

"3..or more.."

i found it, the metal bullet sliding out of his blood dribbling flesh as i patched it with some healing ointment. I threw it on the ground as I went to his other shoulder. has 2 shots on his shoulder and...don't know how many in his arms.

"Did it hit any fatal parts?"

"My arms..? no..it didn't.. I can move them..o-once you done..get this over with.."

the second bullet wasn't that hard to find. Throwing it on the floor once more, I applied the ointment and applied the patch.

"What's so important about yours, huh? do you have to eliminate the same crime group for a pre determined trashy reward?"

"Shut your mouth. do your NGH- job.."

sliding it out of his flesh out of his arm. I realized he has more than 3. he has 7.

"your such a reckless asshole. Why did you save me out of that shitty situation?"

"I felt like it.. had no reason.. you know this.."

"we're enemies. You should've let me die if you had the chance."

this is going to take all day. His wounds are already bleeding immensely as I try to find the bullet in his upper arm.

"die..? N-no no no no..I wasn't going to let you die by giving me a challenge first..gotta rival with the one you have.."

"Are you delirious by the bleeding?"

"I require a challenge. I won't let some bullshit..t-tank take you from me..I need you to prove my strength as not always being on top of the leaderboard..you match me.."

"I'm aware. Keep quiet. this is going to take long, so just enjoy the painful ride idiot."

I'm at the second bullet. But as I did. He passed out on me. Laying his head on my shoulder as I tried to render him conscious and he is, breathing in and out at a normal pace with exhausted eyeballs. Truly, two sides of the same coin, we both work under a company that doesn't care for our own mental health or our wellbeing. He mentioned that he needed a challenge, but.. does that mean he's sick of being tired of being a physically and spiritually powerful individual to level up to everybody instantly with no cheats? Well..the jade of heaven in him is a cheat code, but do I train to fulfill his boredem..? He's my enemy. This is odd. I continued tending to his wounds as I got 4 bullets out. I got 3 more left. This reckless dim-witted idiot.. always puts himself into trouble without a reason. I shouldn't complain since it's basically my fault that he got hurt.

I suddenly felt guilt. his affliction by my actions is something I needed to be paid for, but I can't just go ahead and leave the city ruins just to figure out what what we should do. the situation is vastly disordered, to say the least. If the entirety of the city ruins is out of power, then how or where did they get such a valuable piece of technology such as light. are they working for someone or something? Are they beings with malicious intent to plot the objective to decimate, not just my company but jaha's as well? is conflict between our collective groups, the only thing we need to do to assert power over each other when something is clearly wrong here.

I have no choice. I'm on my last bullet, and it's at his lower left arm. directly near his palm. as soon as I'm done.

I'm picking him up and getting him out of the city by foot. our companies are going to deem us as missing, thus enabling a search and rescue party out of our respective parts to plan in this doubtful war between a measly crime group with explosive weaponry more advanced than ours. right when I patched his wounds up, I lift him up to my shoulder, put on his and my gas mask and sprinted out of the scene before more catastrophic bloodshed occurs into the streets of the empty city ruins. I suddenly recall something i remembered sleeping 3 years ago. an empty beach with a haunted airbnb outside of the city.

that's my only conventional option to seek out of danger.

-Timeskip-

I set my stuff down on the dirty crimson slatted carpet after showering in that wasted space.

I collect a can of tomato soup and heat it up under the fire, boiling nicely as I continue to overthink about the possibility of another powerful threat looming over us criminal corporations well enough but why was we both chose to annihilate them? Why was we sent on the same mission at the same time to go after a bunch of low-life weaklings? It's a bunch of suspicions on this case that I can't even figure out the pieces yet to place it all for it to make sense. None of it makes ANY sense. Our way of making things work in this collapsing society is pretending like it's the 1700s when blacksmiths used to create their weapons with raw materials. or when we scavenge for leftover material from the city when we slowly ran out.

I don't know if it's the same case for jaha. Because the way he operates is an orchestration of predictability and danger drooling out of his person, so that means I can't tell what he's doing at all. but.. as I ate my tomato soup, he still hasn't awakened from his unconscious slumber, I kept an eye on him all the steps I took to get us to safety as soon as possible, the virtue of our well being is the only thing that matters.

as I stare at his slumber, his gas mask on the floor, patches all over his arms, and locks of black hair messy. I can not admit and admire anything about him since we're two sides of the same coin, the ying and the yang, the god and the devil so against each other out of a stupid reason for wage and slaughter all by the name of our horrible companies, every letter is get reminds me of a basic japanese work office as a 60 year old man. this is the embodiment of my company and his company as a two peice. it fills my stomach with dread and enraged anger that I'm basically controlled by those ungrateful bastard. that my existence can be disposable to them. it might come a day when my knives graze the flesh of jaha Lee. an enemy I do not want to kill.

I can grab my knife right here and stab him right here and right now, but I don't have the guts to do it. I can't do it. No matter how hard I try.. no matter how many times I was forced to kill a man like him, targeted for mass murder, and an master combatant, I could not seem to push past my boundaries screaming at me to kill him but I can. physically, can't. Even though i remain in hostility towards his presence.. i feel a lingering emotion inside me, unexplainable. It's just there.

stabbing my heart with something.- I held my chest with my eyes widening in this newfound emotion. I begun to-

I glance at him, stirring away as his body moves in motion. scruffing his hair as he surveyed the entire area to figure out where we're at. Blinking his eyes open and closed to properly see the scene of my dinner beyond the comforting fire with firey wood.

"where..did you take us..?"

"Old airbnb. I stayed in here years ago so I can give you the tour..it's really held up even as an abandoned house, no plantation, specks of black mold, still water and a odor. your welcome..-"

"What about our companies?"

I held a heated up can of soup to him. giving him a clean spoon as he lubed it up, smelling the delicious scent as he clearly looks hungry at the face of the boiling vegetable broth ready to be scavenged.

"Eat. You need your energy back."

"You still haven't answer my question?"

"They deemed us as missing. They held a rescue party at the both of us due to our status in never coming back to each of our individual company grounds at the scene of the attack. some homeless civilians who resigned from my company told me when I looked for wood..for some reason..the woman seemed..truamatized..almost broken by the past experiences of my company which is weird. so.. I'm starting to question everything."

"everything..?"

he took a long sip of the soup, pondering to my conflicted words.

" Yeah. why exactly were we both elected for a mission to kill a small criminal group? what was the point? how do they have any type of power? How do they have such high power weapons without any use of mechanical materials as their group hideout looks like shit. So I began to think of the possibilities that their hands on heavy weapons might be a problem, so what is going on..?"

" I might have some information about that.."

"You do?"

Jaha pointed one finger up at me to keep my mouth shut as he continued to eat like a food deprived glutton. But aye..he was asleep for hours so I can't blame him whatsoever.

"I overheard some of our top operators of intel talk about a plan to regain a position of power. To give purpose to the city by giving it civilization and power. I don't know much about the information to annihilate the crime group. But..it must be a coincidence."

"Huh.. I heard the same thing when I was getting a newly constructed blade... are we .. hearing the same thing?"

"Probably."

he distinguished the soup in an instant. Every inch of it is completely gone.

"Should we consider that as an initiative in mind or just keep it silent in general?"

"... silent. can't discover our position to discover their reasons for that. Even the most strongest has their reasons for their intentions. dark or not."

"How's your wounds?"

"Sore. but I can still fight."

"Ooh? one is bleeding on your shoulder. shit. I guess I didn't seal it right.."

"I'm fine."

I grab another one of these patches from my bag and went closer onto him, my body close to pressing against his as I lightly touched some of his metallic blood to see he didn't lose much.

he stayed silent most of the time, but I felt his heart pumping as I apply the new patch onto his shoulder.

"you good now."

"Is there a shower somewhere?"

"Yeah. Third door on the left. The patches are waterproof, so you don't need to worry about them falling off like children's stickers."

"Understood."

I watch as his locks fall down all the way to his back, leaving a black oasis of beauty, eyeballing it in smitten beauty. He shut the bathroom door, leaving me alone in the empty living room.

I continued to think about him as the rain of hot water started to echo out of the bathroom. like he gave me a curse, a fond purgatory of what's right and what's wrong in this wasted up relationship, two enemies who tried so hard to strategically plan each other's descent to hell by orders of the higher ups, but i feel infatuated, obsessed, in control of one's authority gleefully. but I can't. We can't. we're either forced to betray or hurt each other for the sake of our company's satisfied murder pact, their sick grins as we stick our blades and knives onto each other's fresh flesh. But I still can't do it.

I feel stuck, conflicted, and full of thoughts.

tied between the evil and uncaring nochalance of our companies by having their strongest men to fight each other over and over as they drink their most expensive wine, biting their cotton candy grapes and fresh fruit as they see our demise as their own sickening twisted entertainment. I'm worried jaha might know this, too. knows he might be also under authority but doesn't care and does his job like a mindless puppet. this has been his..- no. Our fate from the moment we agreed to their contract after analyzing our combat data for the application to apply for these companies. if we ever decided to disband our loyalty to these companies, then we'll be gunshot at a split of a second. as humans. Our safety is a top priority since our lives are to be cherished because we only live once after all.

But our lives is easily being taken advantage.

I can't stand for that devilish shit, but I can't do anything about it since my life is at their hands.

I heard him turn off the shower, getting dressed.

I continue to look at the bathroom door, having a brawl to this lingering obsession inside me, clawing its way outside my flesh as it begs to be let out of its cage. my problem is him. he's my enemy and my nemesis, but yet I feel no bloodlust for his death. I could've just latched onto his naked, muscular body and slit his throat, but something in me drove me not to do it, not to hurt him, not to do anything else to him other than to tend to his wounds and help him survive in this empty city reeking of no civilization.

I watch him open the door to new fresh smelling suits for battle, just in case. All in grey or black, he sat down near me in the middle of the vibrant fire, almost like he wanted to say something to me but couldn't spit it out. as he remained silent.

I gaze into his deep red eyes, glancing down at the burning fire, ambient and morbidly addictive for these deep eyes to glow at the ones who see him as a pawn, as a puppet, as a goody too shoes for never touching the innocent, and as a psychotic asshole. he's spacing out into the depths of the light red firey holes.

"jaha."

"What do you want?"

my blue eyes shine in the smooth ambient mood of the fire.

"It seemed like you wanted to say something to me. so say it. whatever it is. I will understand. no matter what-"

"Don't act like some kind of therapist"

"You sure as hell need one. You're usually so blunt. What's going on?"

he looked at the fire as he seemed shocked about his thought process in each of the situations. OUR situation.

"What if that same criminal group were out to kill us just for us to never figure out the truth, or they have the keys to the truth of their motives to regain power? surely the reasons why we were both sent on a mission to assassinate and end their group once and for all for a vast reason that's classified. we're seen as puppets. if we dig even a small paper full of words that can fulfill the peices to the puzzle then a bullet will be the end of us."

"Understood. but as enemies. this motive might cause us to go against each other like we always do, forcing us to kill the innocent as part of their plan. we don't even know what their plan is. or what they are trying to do while they succeed in gaining this position of power, but it isn't up to us. It's up to them. they are the ones in authority. It freaks me out. I know. either or.. we're strong enough to battle and win even the most toughest of this city physically."

I clip on my gas mask as he puts on his. He's quiet about my words, but I feel a sense of acknowledgment inside him, the gust of the feeling of empowerment and a lingering anger to be used as a pawn to many of these mafia company owning murderers who see the chaos as nothing but a circus for their own lively twisted joy.

I picked up my blade as he picked up his revolver, caressing the handle in a smooth motion.

"where are we going?" I ask.

"..to get a treat."

"WHERE- oh..nevermind. I know a large gas station nearby but why..? A treat?"

"Shhh.. I need one. I'm in the mood for smores. I never tried one before."

"While we're on the RUN?"

he walked to the middle of the street, gesturing me to follow him.

"Definitely."

"You're insane. why would you feel the need to eat some fucking smores in a apocalypse?"

"Hmm. Many people said it was delicious, so I decided to go get the ingredients and bite into one once we go back."

We see the large gas station in the misty horizon.

"You didn't bother to eat one before the apocalypse happened?"

"No. Dumb-ass."

we climbed into the window only to see a food stock at the side of the store like someone had been here to shelter for the rest of the week. and most of them are fresh at that. None of them were growing moldy from the looks of it.

"Why didn't I bother..it's heavenly in here."

"hm..let's see."

jaha ravages through the food stock to see fresh cans of chicken broth, cream of mushroom soup, garlic butter crackers, full bags of candies and treats, and pot pies.

Lastly was the smores he wanted to make. the marshmallows, the chocolate, the Graham crackers. All we need is a smooth fire to heal it up into a decadent appetizing treat, I watch him and our surroundings to make sure nobody recognizes our appearance only for us to turn us back to our respective individual head quarters.

"You got what you need?" I ask with caution.

"Yeah. while we have the free will to do what we want to do without some sons of bitches controlling our lives. I figured to eat something I haven't eaten before. while it lasts."

"...noble."

he stood up with the stuff, we climbed out the window to see that same empty street and gas station parking lot, nobody else is here but I have a strong gut feeling that something isn't right here.

"Put the stuff in my bag. take out your gun just in case."

"Alright."

he put every item in my bag and took out his gun.

"We can go. I just wanted to make sure we have protection."

"We can crush skulls. We'll be fine."

"Maybe YOU did. Not me."

our steps were like a path to dangerous unpredictability. You must always trust your gut, so I assume that someone or something may be watching us or assassinating us with the most stealth. we arrived in the airbnb with no problems except the sounds of wolfs howling and the toxic mist breezing aggressively across the burnt decayed trees.

"a-alright. Oh, the fire hasn't gone out yet." he spoke.

"You were tense throughout our entire walk back."

"And you weren't just telling me to whip out my gun for nobody?"

"Trust your gut. that's the reason why."

jaha rummaged into the stuff of my bag to get out of the stuff. me and him took off our gas masks.

"Understood. You want some?"

"...sure. i...haven't tried any too."

"..."

he opened all the packs for him to set up the smores, but first: heat up the marshmallows first.

"You decided to argue with me about getting smores in the middle of an apocalypse, but you haven't tried some TOO??"

"Yes. I apologize. I figured your curiosity in desserts is unnecessary in a situation like this. usually eating desserts in a post apocalyptic world is the last thing on our minds."

I watch as he heats up two marshmallows beneath the comforting, warm fire, basking in its withering breezing flaming tips beyond his red eyes as I wait beside the dirty couch for its oozing burnt goodness to seep out.

" it always good to explore things you never did before while it lasts. it's no smores in hell so."

"definitely is not. that fire can burn skeletons from beyond that hellish flames we're destined to arrive to, only to suffer..come on. we both do atrocities by killing thousands and doing mass destruction."

he set up the finishing product by combining the chocolate, the graham crackers, and the marshmallows all in two irresistible luscious treats.

"It's done. yours is right at the end of the table."

"hm.."

I pick it up with two of my palms to see the chocolate melting out of the heat of the marshmallow. I felt scared about the taste, but gotta do what you gotta do. I took a bite, my eyes widened at the taste, delicate burst of scrumptious combinations. I couldn't stop biting into it. it's a addictive explosive. it's apparently a socializing type of snack to make, but I don't think I care. This shit is good on it's own.

"The fuck mongrang." jaha stared at me.

"Sorry, I'm just... Korean BBQ is overrated enough, and i can understand that since it's quite delicious, this needs to be more popular. It's only used at camping events and crap."

"I give it.. 6/10."

"6..? Why?"

he took the last bite, licking the chocolate marks off his finger.

"Could be better if it's Carmel chocolate or chocolate with a richer flavor than others. Dark, white, raspberry, and strawberry could go better with this."

"Agreed."

I kept watching him lick the last of the chocolate off his fingers like an incompetent, inconsiderate pervert. Some part of me is screaming at my desires to tell him to suck me off, but I kept forgetting he's my enemy, the one with hidden intentions about me. and that's dangerous.

"We both have a long day tomorrow. so you might as well rest. So do i."

"important day..?",

"We can't stay missing forever. we need to go back to our headquarters tomorrow which means..we have to go our separate ways."

"Oh..alright.."

he took one last look in his dark red eyes at me before turning around to lay down, drifting off to sleep with his back turned away from me, like none of our time together as enemies with a hint of friendship and trust is all for naught. the truth is.. I feel like my soul doesn't want to be separated from him. Something in me is wanting to be pulled back in him like a lusty seduction. hopefully, he'll express his gratitude for my help in tending to his wounds, giving him food, and spending time with him even if we have the malicious intent to kill each other.

I turn away from him, laying down at my side of the living room, watching the soaring, deep sea create soothing waves to fit the midnight ambiance or the full moon. Its immense neverending beauty pulls me deeper to a relaxing slumber, but all of this isn't enough to make me end the war between my aggravating conflicted thoughts about jaha. a enigmatic figure.

My enemy. I can't seem to stay away from. no matter how hard I try. I drowse to sleep.

It continues by the time our range of view flutter open to that same repetitive mist.

it's in the afternoon, me and jaha stealthily made our way back to our companies across the city ruins as our worries about that same criminal group are out to manslaughter many of us, we don't know if they'll show up in a corner and hit us with a deadly rain of bullets with that same FUCKING tank that nearly ended my life before this man saved me.

But we stopped on our tracks. Jaha stepped back as he stared at me but at this tension. his voice spoke in that stoicism.

"....thanks for saving me and taking care of me. I appreciate it. But..don't forget we're still enemies. two sides of the same coin, and two powerful individuals incapable of building friendship or kindness by our surge of bloodlust for each other, even as we're standing in the middle of this empty street right now. I still want to stab you for refusing to give a proper challenge. So the next time I see you again. be stronger, be more resilient, and have that growing determination to beat the shit out of me since I have acceptance in defeat."

"Hm. I do have a lot of bloodlust for your demise. But..for now. This isn't a proper goodbye. It's rather until next time we see each other ripping off flesh and breaking necks from the men of our own companies. I'll eventually fulfill your request to give you a challenge if I have time.~"

I felt a stinging pain in my person as he waited for more response from me. I...don't want him to go, I want to stay with him more, I want to see him more and figure him out his mysterious madness driven personality and personal life I know nothing about but I want to keep digging to find more about his unknown complexity I can't understand, but I can't and it's slowly tearing me apart. It's tearing me down agonizingly. I gulp up all my frustrations and inner pain to spit out more of my words.

"..until next time."

"Yes. sex demon."

I watch with my pain increasing to a dangerous point as he bolts out of my presence to go back to his company, and now.. he's gone. gone away from my life for a short while, long while, I don't know how long, but it's all for certain that our relationship is growing at a slow rate. In a good way, I feel like i understand a little bit about him even though his complexity and his unpredictability get people's minds boggled. It's best to hope for the best between me and him. even if our scum companies force us to break if it grows at a rapid pace. I blink my eyes open and closed to leech off the surging stress from my mind.

I walk back to my company grounds. noticed my guns aren't functioning correctly every time i get a shot, I open the main lobby doors to see some of my family members crafting their own specialty gun, eat, shit, or relax inside the depths of the building, I saw the sword demon inside the blacksmith, sparks of fire shaving off the blades he's creating.

"Master?"

"You're alive. Huh? I was beginning to think you had an early grave. what happened during the mission? Why were you missing?"

"..."

Should I bring up the situation between me and jaha or just lie to him and get myself killed? None of these options are safe.

"I-"

"If you lie to me, then I will whoop your stupid ass. I was worried for your safety. tell me what happened truthfully."

no way to get out of the situation, so I decided to tell him everything as he's fixing my blade.

"So..want the short version or the long version?"

"Long. Since I was initially your cause for most of your combative and gunslinger training. You shouldn't excuse yourself for backing out of a fight of what sort. my influence taught you to be precise and focused. So..what happened?"

"Promise you won't say anything about it to anyone?"

"Just say it."

I gulped up my anxiety to tell the entire story.

"Our enemy company, which is shiguan Company, sent their most formidable assassin to take down the criminal group we were also targeting for their crimes. So it's like a weird collaboration between our company and there's to take down the same measly group for whatever reason. jaha unfortunately got attacked by a tank led by the group, so we had to run away from whatever weaponry they held to kill us. I tended to his bullet wounds, fed, and took care of him in a random beach house airbnb. That's all."

"...a tank? But how? NONE of us aren't even close to gaining that type of firepower/ bullet power. And our scarce access to technology in this city is nothing but charging a phone or turning on a light. so how do they.."

the situation continues to be as annoying as a damn ill mannered child in a sugar rush in a little kid's birthday party that isn't there's to begin with, i can understand his frustrated confusion, bubbling into more thoughts and thoughts to their unknown, and dangerously mysterious access to that kind of exclusive high power products only the government or forces powerful enough to kill a thousand. Let alone have the willpower to possibly take over a corporation by endless, greed controlled bloodlust. I think that's the case but my explanation goes further than just a few words.

"isn't the case. They actually had technology. When we're talking technology, then it's phones, computers, laptops, and tracking devices. These people had working microwaves, lights, and all types of shit. I was even confused about how they obtain that when every single part of ours is just scarce, easily broken, and needed for consistent management and maintenance at all times in order to keep ourselves going."

"hm..interesting. and did you get any Intel out of your mission. same as...jaha?"

"No information about him. yet. But.."

my eyes looked down, living in a virtue between conflicted emotions about that man. Even if I should tell a beautiful lie to my master, i shouldn't.

"But what?"

"...nothing. what has our Intel team did in terms of the criminal group?"

"they got no important intel and information regarding their actions and wearabouts. The only thing we truly got out of those bastards is the consistent and vile mass murder of any remaining civilians in the city ruins. but.. I think we might have a lead to everything they have been given to be this powerful. that's what the boss said, but they haven't gotten anything yet."

"Any new missions today?"

he handed me a small note written in cursive, it's a SOS letter.

"Some woman with two children is southwest of the city ruins. I went to forge and searched for some metal around the streets there until I saw them in a parking lot, hungry and shivering in the cold with their gas masks ripped up into peices. I asked them if they're ok and if they needed anything.

They needed food and water. they were ravenous, ill, injuried, and terrifyingly parched. So.. I need you to go to a store and get them some food so that this apocalyptic chaos won't be the last thing to see before they reach their descent. she wrote this letter just in case. In the last thread of hope that anybody would save her from her and her children's cold and morbid misery."

I inspected the note. It wrote:

"My name is Lydia. my husband currently died a dreadful death, we ran and ran to a safe location until a tank came at our way towards safety. we tried to run, but the attacks were too much, as soon we looked back. He sacrificed himself for me by getting crushed by its weight, having his crimson liquid seep out its wheels. I never looked back at the horror. we luckily found an abandoned underground parking lot in the southwest. ever since he died so horribly. I cried and cried, my tears came out like an ocean at all the times my children went to sleep. If someone is out there, a good soul will end my pain. food and water are all I need. I will express my gratitude to you. please.."

"crushed? That goddamn.."

"Go ahead. I'll reward you for this instead of sex magazines."

"Hm."

I step out into the hallway, my hatred for this group growing more and growing like a blazing, enraged greek god, I flip back on my gas mask to leave the doors of the headquarters, banging open the doors out. how dare this group.. damaging jaha's body is enough already to make me burn up in internal fire, but murdering an innocent husband out of bloodlust? their motives continue to be a trivial dice roll in an adult board game. They either did it to spike fear and anger into us, or they did it for the love of descending in a normal human life. As I walk down the dark, dim streets of the afternoon misty depressing sky, mind racing with vengeance and sorrow for this woman's change in her life.

I see a small grocery store in the southwest. It's timid, small, and can only fit a minimum thousand items in there. But better take your chance, I walk in, the broken intercom start talking convoluted mess of my body motion. it's a whole bunch of junk in here, but it's mildly a jackpot in here. I take multiple plastic bags and fit every single food item in these. cans of soup, snacks, bars of soap and skincare, blankets, pillows, and portable mattresses. my hands are full with every single one of these items for this small family, as I walk out the door, unable to pick up my gun for self defense because of all these products, I felt bad for the family, at the husband, and at the unfortunate lives of the withered, lost, and barely subsisting human beings trying their diligence to find food and live for themselves. he mentioned an abandoned parking lot, right?

I heard raspy whimpering at the bottom of this one. it's the exact parking lot he mentioned.

I step down and down to see chaos. I look to the side of my eye to see a terrified woman with children fast asleep. The look in her eyes is terror.

"You're Lydia right?"

"y-yes.."

"Don't be afraid. I'm not a part of that vile, criminally psychotic group. I brought you a lot of food and supplies for survival. I got your note from my..company."

"Company..?"

her eyes widened in even more terror at the mere mention of my company. I think she knows who I am. her arm raised up in defense against me as I loomed over her with only a look of sympathy and understanding.

"...yes. I'm part of a mafia assassination company. I'm not your enemy. I came here to help you, to get you out of this continuous pain you're in. stuck in this city ruins with nobody and nothing. I brought you this stuff for a major reason. I sympathize with you and your children, this apocalyptic world we live in prevents them from growing up into normal lives. it isn't fair for selfish rich government ceos and presidential leaders to sacrifice a city for the sake of that cash. I want to help you. Let me help you..please? You don't have to be afraid."

I reach out to her, hoping she'll understand me. and she did. her hand was trembling of fear and the shivering cold.

"t-thank you."

"I brought you bars of soap, stacks of food and cans of soup, blankets, pillows, and portable mattresses. The instructions are in the back of the box, skincare, and snacks. I recommend remaining here for the time being so that danger doesn't lurk. but..for protection for you and your children. do you have training in gunsmanship?"

she huddled in the warmth of the blanket before answering my question.

"My father taught me how to shoot before he died from cancer. so I have a little experience."

I slid my revolver directly to her on the floor. with a bullet box fully in stock.

"Take it. Self-defense is key in this world now. in order to protect yourself and your children. This is what you need. There are enough bullets in there to kill multiple. Feel free to reload if you want. but the tactic is to do it quickly as possible so you aren't vulnerable to any position for the enemy to shoot you back. Understand?"

nodding frantically. She took it almost as if she's desperate to protect the only family she had left.

"You don't need to thank me.. the acts of sympathize and passion in saving another life in this world is nothing but a show for people to analyze your weaknesses. Remember that. You're strong enough to live for your kids after your husband died a horrible death. You're still living. and yes. That's good. Continue to live."

"Thank you..w-what is your name..?"

"Mongrang. make sure to-"

the loud footsteps from the halls came drastically in an unexpected remark. It sounds like 5 people are approaching the parking lot by aggression. I told the mother to hide behind the pillar before these five people busted in.

jaha got thrown back onto the floor, injuried in the arm before I could even mentally comprehend what's happening here. I watched as he held his bleeding arm.

"jaha!"

I look back to see the boss of my enemy mafia company.

"You."

Ignoring me in a rude manner, he held his knife up at jaha's chin, yelling and spitting angry nonsense directly at his stoic seriousness. he said nothing as he put pressure onto his wound to stop the bleeding.

"what the FUCK is wrong with you?! you went out with this sex crazed bitch without doing the mission I assigned you to do, protected him, and was gone for 2 days with the person we told you to kill over AND OVER! you should have let him die! the tank was nearly going to kill his stupid ass so why did you even - this is ridiculous."

jaha went closer to his face, not caring about the knife at all.

"Of course. I felt the need to protect him. why do you care if i die or not? The higher ups like yourself always treat their workers like a disposable pawn anyway. So I died right here, then what would you do? cry in sorrow or nonchalantly walk out like you rich fucks always do?"

"It was never intended to dissappear for two days with your nemesis. you were supposed to kill the criminal group. not eat smores with this porn magazine addicted fuck."

"hmph."

before he could spit some more, I held my pump shotgun directly behind his fat forehead, his men aimed their assault rifles at me to cease my violence. I scowled at his attitude.

"Maybe consider the inveitable suicide mission dealing with that group before you talk to your strongest assassin like this. you rich slobs always seem entitled to think your fragile control over anybody is getting them to submit to you. jaha is powerful, but he can't fight against a tank. that's the issue here."

"I wasn't talking to you."

"Face me."

as he did, he tried to stab my chest with his flimsy knife, but I caught his hand and twisted it, causing him to let out a groan of pain. his men still aimed at me.

"First of all. that group has some kind of secret organizations that get the most weaponry out of any company or production industry in this city, if we're able to reveal the secrets to their strengths, then this issue wouldn't escalate so badly would it? You know.. I almost seem bad for you. Are you really that unintelligent enough to blame it all on your strongest assassin because they don't have the infinite level durability enough to stand through a TANK? we were both going to die if he didn't act quickly. He saved my life."

"He should have let you die-"

"And if I died. would the bloodlust and bloodshed of our company's wars ever end? if I ever died, then you wouldn't stop to consider the drastic urgency of my own to wage war and destruction against you for murdering me? every time we fight. You get some sadistic kick out of it. Every time we fight. you want us to kill each other like a bunch of feral animals deprived of meat. You don't care about the safety of jaha. You only care about money. and you need a man worth dying for if it benefits your pockets."

no more words was said from his mouth, which means i was right about everything i just said to his face. utterly pathetic. usually when a person stops talking and all that remains is silence out of your words. one point for being intelligent enough to figure it out like a children's book, I glanced back at jaha to check if he's ok and his expression was a change to his usual demeanor. his eyes shined in astonishment and surprise at my declaration of my concern for his safety. openly stunned by my words of basically saying I care about his wellbeing. as I was only paying attention to jaha's unexpected demeanor. the man continues to have his emotional bursts of hellfire.

His reaction merely shows his closed-minded attitude, accusing me of being wrong about the entire thing as he doesn't care whether or not we die or go in this very parking lot. he barks like a feral inconsiderate dog as he issued his men to circle around me, pointing the tips of their assault rifles at the skin of my body. right as I'm immobilized is the correct moment for him to continue barking with a strong surge of stupidity.

"Your death is the main objective to giving us more of an advantage in this useless self righteous war, your marksmanship is incredible, your hand to hand combat is legendary and formidable, your speed matches that of a superhuman and yet you expect me to believe jaha did or didn't care about saving your life by thinking of how much your company rely so much onto your mere abilities!?"

"And yet you don't have the willpower to have your men obliterate my human body right here and right now to end your problems against me and my company. If you're so desperate for my demise, then do it."

before he snapped his fingers for the men to kill me, the men suddenly splattered blood from all over their bodies, and they had been sliced to peices. I glance back at jaha, and he's gone. he appeared right in front of me with his blade full of crimson liquid, his eyes open back up at his enraged mien. The thought of jaha killing his own forces drives him with the intent to take so many lives out of that same hatred.

"What the hell is going on with you? What is-"

"Shut the fuck up. you're driven with the intent to kill my/ our enemy by committing heinous crimes such as torture and rape by proxy, yes. but I CHOSE to save him. my only reason isn't for naught. Because I crave a challenge from him, to finally be seen as a person that can match up to my strengths instead of being supremely dangerous enough to never be beaten. and that's mongrang unintentionally. every since we looked at each other when our blades were at the tips of our fingers and our palms at our necks just because of someone else's sickening authority."

this pathetic excuse of a human being growled in irritability.

"You agreed to the contract to join my forces. It's no way to turn back. So I give you two choices. go ahead and kill mongrang right here or regret ever murdering my men by inflicting torture upon you back at the company. everything you have is gone. If you refuse to kill HIM, then it's your decision. But you'll regret it."

"You can't give me that "torture if that contract has an option to quit the company altogether. this had always been your issue. to throw away the ones you trust most by your own selfishness. "

he scoffed fowl as jaha ripped off his company ID card with his bare hands.

"...suit yourself."

he stepped out of the parking lot, leaving jaha, mongrang, and lydia to remain in the soundless, water dripping, dull, impassive parking lot.

"You actually did it."

"Was sick of dealing with his shit. knowing him, he'll probably try to bribe me back. I just gave him a disadvantage myself by quitting, better yet... might kill me or you."

"You ok?"

"Yeah..let's just go."

I pointed one finger to get him to stop walking, I handed lydia a location of the nearest gas stations and my home just in case she needed any leftover weapons for protection. revolver, pump, machine gun, assault rifle, smg, dual pistols. anything she wants, she'll get. I stood up and waved her goodbye. her smile was full of hope instead of that looming despair she had minutes ago. we stepped out of the parking lot and into the eerie empty street.

"You know..."

"What is it, jaha?"

"When you declared that you cared for me right in front of his face back there. I felt something weird inside me. like a bunch of butterflies or small miniature bombs exploding in my heart as soon as I heard your voice so full of devotion to taking care of me when we got attacked, your mouth wasn't full of disgusting lies, it was the beautiful truth, your mouth spilled the truth when I was expecting a sticky tongue full of beautiful, manipulative lies. unexpected of you as the sex demon to put devotion and diligence for your enemy's wellbeing."

my heart pulsed at the soft-spoken words of the mad demon.

"Of course. you saved me from descent. and now I have helped you out of pain. but.. unexpected of you. as a mass murderer. To speak such sentimental words. even as one person who would go lengths just to kill a person in the method you desire."

"accurate. But I'm sane enough to decide what's right and what's wrong poopypants."

"you...have nowhere else to go. Do you?"

he just realized by the look of his eyes. I grasped his wrist and pulled him closer to my face, full of concern about his safety.

"Fuck. my bunker.."

"Here. stay at my place for a little while. Don't try to argue with me because I'm not letting you roam the streets on your own. I'm very aware you're physically powerful, but I need no more truama from the tanks, ok?"

"Fine."

we stride back to my home with a crushing sense of voidless silence as we walk back. I went closer to his palm intentionally to collide mine with his as a sense of contentment in our growing relationship from enemies to possibly friends with benefits and boundaries needed to follow. His fingers hesitated at first to collaborate together with my heated fingers, I didn't expect him to approve of my actions since it's his choice and I would support him of any choice he makes, and so he did, he slowly grappled mine in a tight but soothing squeeze. his palm has a bit of hardness to it, and his knuckles feel like anicent unbreakable stones in a spooky medieval cave with such a terrible history, that just shows the length of his mere physical strength by just a slick slide of his bones.

we got back to my home, the rope to lift up to the highest floor is still available to use.

"come up here."

he followed me to go up, and the bottom dissipated into mere black darkness. I wonder how I live with constant danger at my back meat. Lifting myself up with ease, I catch jaha's hand to finally introduce him to my home in the top level, multiple offices are either my food supplement, weapon storage, clothing and self care or just sleep when the days of fighting is temporarily pushed back so I can relax and sleep all day in this apocalyptic world.

"this is it?"

"Mhm. where I bathe is the downstairs level which isnt far. the bathroom downstairs is in the third door on the left in the hallway."

"Thanks. I just need a shower.."

I almost spoke the words I didn't want to say to him, I wanted to say, "Can I shower with you?" But of course, he wouldn't approve. He disappeared to the next bottom level right underneath my home. as I kept reminiscing, thinking, and pondering about jaha's current situation. isn't he going to be targeted for betrayal against his own? Isn't he going to be at war with his own forces? Isn't it implied any higher rank assassin or soldier who quits the company may receive a life full of hell?

I'm so concerned about him that it's not even funny. This is supposed to be the crazy demon. the lost loyal and trustworthy companion and murderer of their respective forces to win or lost, much more of a bet of 75% percent chance of winning by just including his combative training itself to peer at the pure glory of his hands soaked of that crimson liquid, the pure ecstacy of taming a intelligent beast by your authority. it's a addictive substance used to boost ego by the strength you were given to tame both me and him. jaha just broke out of his cage, but at what cost? what is it to him to go and roam free with no trouble to confront him about it?

I'll do whatever it takes to protect him from the dangers of his own forces for quitting onto an impulsive , sadistic, greed driven shit turd, I'll take a bullet to the chest to give him the opportunity to live and go, but why? Is my devotion or this burning fire of desirable love in me driving me to take eternal torture and truamatic insanity off another being's work just for him to go and live? is this war really needed if two of their most strongest are starting to become much more than bloodthirsty enemies? don't they understand the cost of trading many of their men to their descent out of pettiness, the dumbest thing ever? Or is it so much for a person putting laxatives onto my drink at a bar three years ago for me to be so devoted to enabling protection against their life?

he doesn't need protection. He can hold his own, so why am I such a...douchebag. for some reason, I began to feel the addictive sin of lust for him, the need to shove this man in a wall and brush my lips against his. if..he feels the same way. this isn't actual love. It's lust. lust is an emotion of both love and despairful pain. you can either do it and take the chances to go for it or feel the rejection. but still.. I can't. It's up to my company to decide whether he lives or dies. it's the same as his own subordinates.

as I snapped out of my delusional haven, he lifted back up with water dripped down his forehead with a clean towel across his neck, he sat down and pulled his hair" p to tie it into a bun. using my scrunchy to do it, I started to think of strangs of his black hair swirling around my scrunchy mixing with my own by the time I look at it to brush mine. I never examined his dampened hair before, but I wish to see it in my own eyes if he ever considered his choice for my hunger to show with a man like him. but too much intimacy means easier breakage in relationships. Putting too much trust is the greatest despair in betrayal.

"a...bun..?"

"Yeah."

we sat across from each other. he seemed to be waiting for my response.

"hm?"

" I know you got questions. So ask it."

"hm..."

His face had a hint of curiosity for a moment before his usual stoic demeanor returns to mask his actual beauty in his person.

"What's it's like to live in this society in your perspective?"

" ..as a assasin-"

"You're no longer an assassin. express your experience as a normal human being now. Let yourself be vulnerable for a moment. As your enemy. I won't be the type to kill you right here. But I'll be the type of person to protect you. I don't care if my company points the guns at you out of superstition or suspicion of your involvement around my personal life in these halls called my "home." I'll protect you in any way I can. even if a bullet goes directly into my flesh fatally. Understood."

"Yeah, so can I finish?"

his eyes widened slightly in a tiny bit of appreciation to my devotion to a person I'm supposed to kill but dimmed down to the dirty carpet to explain his own personal life before he quit.

"Life before I quit was easy, living in a bunker regarding my safety of living in the world is much easier to just relax and lower my gaurd in my home underground, while my occupation of assassinating your men out of a little bit of cash or small rewards that doesn't benefit myself is like giving 10 cent to a child only to get candy for delivering a forgotten mail to a neighbor but isn't enough to get you a handful. usually, I don't say anything about the rewards I get outside of the bunker. They only get protein powder products and drinks, philosophy, and martial arts books to me. nothing else besides that. so.. I feel much more..freed, content, safe, no longer do I have to sit and kill anything and everyone just for my completions to be neglected for."

"I see.."

"hench why I'm the most strongest. It's up to me to fulfill the boss's most darkest desires. A personal mission or an intel mission to be as stealthy as I possibly can to your company or any rival companies's plan to eradicate. so if I see to it that your company plans a mass assault if I didn't quit. Then it's predictable. Easy to anticipate. not only is intel important, but it can also be a weapon. the virtue of strength and intelligence in a person comes from teachings and from within...if your gifted."

his eyes showed everything there was to know, like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. But I feel like it's something there. Something lurking inside of them that needs to be brought out. and I'm afraid of that. I shouldn't pay attention to his intention, but it's something. a full-blown mystery i have to be the one to figure out.

"Does your boss.. I don't know, uh. interfere with business of yours."

"He somehow managed to figure out my past occupation of being the mad demon, my title in china before I moved to america. Right, he decided to completely decimate my companies of trading and production for a shitty deal. I had to give up the name of the "mad demon" because he threatened to murder my daughter if I didn't accept the deal to work with him under my archives regarding my combat prowess. And currently. I don't know where she is. I'm praying to some of our gods in hopes that she's safe."

"You have a daughter?"

he reached into his pockets to pull out a half burnt picture of his daughter.

"I do. Her name is yoran. I adopted her 3 months before the apocalypse started. she clunged to me right as the dystopian society we lived in got worse and worse to the point of this much destruction. but since he nearly killed my daughter as I accepted the deal. he also took her without elaborating where she was. even if I completed a mission when my kill count is nearly hundreds, then he still won't give me an ANSWER."

"I see..so you been through a lot. I liked the name "mad demon," so it's a shame."

resting his head on his legs, he still held up yoran's picture between his fingers as I analyzed the story behind it, she's in a amusement park with a big soft loaf of cotton candy on her small fingers, a smile full of joy as jaha is holding her right hand.

"she's adorable.."

"I don't know if she has a foster parent somewhere to take care of her. Or if she's just living on her own with no protection. but.. I still have a glimmer of hope left inside me. if I ever see her again, then I'm killing everybody who kept her hostage."

I took the paper from him to study the picture more.

"Your the only person taking care of her?"

"Yes. so?"

" If it's any glimpse or sighting of her appearance in the public. Then, if you'll agree.. how about we take care of her together?"

he snatched it away from me.

"do you even know how to take care of children?"

"Do you have the mental capability to take care of her? hench, why you're the mad demon?"

"....fine. I'll agree to take care of her along with you in the future. If we're lucky enough to get her back. he keeps gatkeeping her current conditions/ wearabouts. that irritates me the most about this job. now that I've quit. I can't have any intel about her."

"damn it."

he looked back to the black sky, gazing at the full moon.

"Sometimes I wonder if society can ever be built back up again. I wonder if you and me..are just pawns. just human pieces of shit dying together by the hands of our own. even if our relationship continues to expand. This is something that's forcing our hands to do."

"Jaha, you don't have to kill me if you don't want to, no matter what.. we are no longer bloodthirsty and hate driven enemies, but we're rather two individuals growing to learn each other's boundaries and perspectives of our own. If our companies self-destruct upon each other's useless kiddy wars, then that's not our problem if we live to see the end of their unfortunate tale. All that matters is us. I don't care if our worth in this world is nothing but to focus on living for also nothing. all it matters is us."

I raise my hand to his own in hesitation, hoping he would take it if he must or not. Something about this demon I long for is like a addictive pull to the depths of forbidden love. This forbidden love has delicious and tangy notes of toxicity, hatred, compassion, protection, mental strength, and rivalry. the rivalry of this relationship has no choice but to be thrown into the abyss, going deeper into the forgotten sea. he didn't take my hand, and I can respect that.

I pull back to sit beside him to look at the dark, despondent sky.

"This reality is never going to end."

"It sure isn't. newcomers better adapt to the radiation. but jaha."

"What?"

I leaned closer to his face.

"Do you trust me?"

" Hell no. what kind of question is tha-"

I grab him by the legs and lift him up to my shoulder, walking to the bed. I can feel his anger radiating off his warm body and I'm all for it, this is my time to be a smug little cunt just to tame him a little bit and knows what it's like to rest with someone for the first time.

"YOU FUCKER. LET GO-"

I rest him down softly as I laid right next to him.

"What's the reason for this."

"To annoy you. And to.. keep you warm from the coldness of this apocalypse. knitting a blanket out of desperation for warmth is a prime example even if I pricked my fingers multiple times and drew blood since I was never taught knitting. Will you...allow me to hold you? whatever decision you made is something I'll support."

I can sense his hostile conflict beyond my words. To be in the arms of his own nemesis? a dangerous move? But gleefully. he quickly gained his composure and agreed to let me hold up away from the freezing breeze of the city ruins. I guess the only option is to let me since I have nothing else to lay in to sleep or stay in comfort, I held his waist and his back, soothingly toasty in his tepid skin, I rest myself onto him as soon as I found jaha fast asleep onto the pleasant heat I carry. I scoffed softly at his exhaustion that I decided to sleep with his presence at my hand.

Dozing off into the gloomy dark sky. I find myself trapped in that same purgatory of infatuation, obsession, and love for this concept of danger I'm holding within my very arms, that same desire holding back and striking me down when the time is right to pour out all my remaining wishes to him if he..feels the same way. it's predetermined if his decision to fulfill my desires is a rejection or a yes of his own, just mincing its way out of his crazed, driven mind, but I shouldn't. I can't. not when he's so far into the abyss of danger so deep into the grounds of a bullet piercing through his crimson flesh, his veins, and his bones.

Fatal, unable to be saved out, redemption, heaven, and hell. two powerful men destined to go to the scorching hot depths of the torturous dark flames with a path of forbidden love and pain along that path to walk through, the needles of that pain piercing through your bare feet with his hand guiding me through the stinging sensation. Is it even worth it to see him as a person I trust and care for? I'm doubting my declaration. but why should I doubt it? is my sense of trust in one individual dissipating by the minute I shut my eyes and doze off into the dream world. Does he devote his trust to me, too? or is his unpredictability supremely wicked enough to purge our relationship with the poisonous, disgusting taste of despair and anguish. I won't let it force feed me that slop. I love him. I'll just simply hope my kindness to him eventually has him noticing the signs of love within me. no matter how much I hate him with his skill of drugging me with shit substances, i won't be able to lift myself off the seat with.

the hazy misty sunset of the radioactive wasteland rose up to set its brightness to my home. jaha isn't on the bed, but I smelt something delicious swarming around the hairs of my nose. I blink three times to set my sights of a small blanket beneath some light wood and a fire with some chicken cooking at the top of the heated blaze.

"What..- how in the hell did you get chicken..?"

"Did some scavenging. found a barn with a couple of chickens inside 15 minutes near the company and took one of them. I made you a plate. It has no seasoning but this is the best we can get. Made sure not to overcook."

"...wasn't you a waitress in a diner before you fell into madness and killed a bunch of people? a errand boy, to be precise."

he examined my face, spelled with mischief before he scoffed at me.

"I was. but being an errand boy teaches you one thing about society. people are never pleased, you can give them a piece of your soul or human brain and they still won't be grateful for your work. best to stick it to yourself instead of relying on others. all I did was to have an offer to sing a song to a rich but beautiful girl, but all I got was people spatting hatred at me while that same girl looked down on me like a bug. it isn't my problem anymore so it no longer matters."

"I see..and did she have any remorse or sympathy?"

"Of course. My feelings for her have vanished intentionally since the situation fucked me up a little bit once she apologized for everything. she didn't know I offered to sing for her instead of trying to "have sex with her" while somehow..she believed their lies instead of the last remaining innocence of my ragged, saddened words to defend something I couldn't fix while I was getting beaten. that's the entire story."

He offered three freshly cooked chicken wings to me as he gazes into the fire.

"You were accused of that? being written by lies for something you didn't do?"

"Yeah. I guess they couldn't accept anything between the relationship of a mere commoner serving people in a diner and a rich, ridiculously beautiful, wealthy woman, so these men were jealous and decided to tell lies out of the original truth. Most people would assume this is the origin of my insanity but it's much more to it as they think."

this isn't the origin of his insanity, but then again. his backstory is a lot to be investigated since my knowledge of his past is something I know nothing about, I take a large bite of the chicken wing before I can speak more.

"What's your origin?"

"The only thing I can share is my parents. they both died while I was a child. and I have no picture, archive, or photo of them holding me as a baby or even a growing child. only the memories I have of them. it doesn't hurt me. but it's sad in a way. The Lee family name.."

"..understood-"

"Aren't you part of the richer class mongrang?"

his crimson, carmine eyes observed my reaction. How did he know that? That I'm in the mong family? The richest class of the chinese public.

"Yes I am."

"Hm..interesting. so I have a quick question. If a kind-hearted commoner serving you.. was in love with your woman? what would you do? tell him to back off? Tell him that she's taken? tell him something unexpectedly offensive? tell me to serve me and my girl and stop being a pussy thirsty slob?"

"Me personally. I'd go for a more positive approach thank you. I don't see why this is relevant."

honestly, the fact that his eyes are still locked on me is telling me to just give him my true designated answer, I finish the last bite of the chicken wings before setting the bones on the napkin.

"Alright then. what's your approach?"

"Would tell the commo- waitress. yeah, waitress to politely say, "She's in a relationship with me. I'm so sorry. But you had your chance" and give him a small tip. that's the only thing I want to do. I mean.. if he's obsessive or can't accept rejection, then I might as well beat his ass in front of everyone for messing with the one I love. it's either protection or politeness or rejection. easy."

"and here I am simply expecting you to have multiple other phone numbers of women you found on timber because you have no ounce of loyalty in you. you would or wouldn't mind if your girlfriend found the waitress attractive unintentionally while your ordering your food."

"What is this about."

his sense of curiosity and irriation about my occupation of being rich class is visible and obvious from the start of his dead blank gaze, seeing his hunger for my answer. I'm clearly confused and aggravated by his assumption of my old ways. how I used to use and have sex with beautiful women by deceiving them by my mere manly beauty. he clearly wants to investigate me in the form of a question game. smart bastard.

"Nothing. I'm just not very sure you would beat the shit out of a waitress for lusting over your girlfriend. I'm pretty sure you would let her get his number while you have multiple behind her back."

"What is your PROBLEM. First of all. before this apocalypse began, I enjoyed the sick and gaping pleasure of pampering dick starved woman for my own personal ego/ gain, and I'm not proud of that. the entire situation got me insecure about my natural beauty and the fact that you're assuming all my past mistakes pisses me off. now that I've changed. I don't want to relive that again."

he was wordless for a moment before speaking with a hint of solemnity in his deep voice.

"You was insecure?"

"I was. I still am. that side of myself is something I'm so desperate to forget. how I was a player, breaking the hearts of these women and taking the virginity of many just to text another woman the next day. lewd messages, arguments, lust, desires, faces of despair and hurt..I was even happy about the catastrophic event that took place in our city because of my reputation and its all going to dissappear eventually due to all the murders. I was to forget about it."

I ran my hands through my silky brown locks out of the rampage of memories, replaying in my head continuously. jaha kept his mouth as he warms his body up in the fire, I noticed he shot glances at me every 10 seconds like he wanted me forget about everything he said. maybe a shower could pass the time since I'm starting to stink, but after everything that's happened. am I just supposed to heal everybody I hurt in a snap of a finger? Am I supposed to be this rich and attractive chocolate colored haired beauty taking the clits of woman and just rubbing them to every single hairy woman I know that's only good for sex? Am I just ready to move on? or do I need to do an apology tour? I'm terrible for that. and the old saying of the book is:

"You can never escape the past, only how it shapes you."

i-..that shouldn't be the only thing I focused on but it's so hard-

while I walked to the broken elevator, jaha bellowed to me: "Come here!"

I raised my brows in confusion to his sudden request, so I came back only to be met with a warm but firm hug from the maddening, captivating jaha Lee himself. This is a rare sighting from this man. to give a hug to his one true enemy? What is this about? At all of this. this hug shoved me so far to the nearest wall just for his palms to squeeze me gently.

"Wait. What are you-"

"I simply...apologize for my accusations. I never expected you to change after all this time since you always were the same since the day we met eyes. but now that I've seen a different side of you. Something inside of me grows more and more aggressive to break out and express what it is to you. It's pulling out of intestines and breaking out feral. and now..my neverending hatred for you seems to have an end. I no longer hate you. I trust you. I know I never apologize, but this time, I will."

his finger graze my chest, sliding up and down as an attempt to calm me down, he feel my rapidly thumping heart because of his body heat pressing against him in this hug. I almost see aroused, simmering with more lust than before when he kept me at arm's length just so our relationship could be the same to the people of our companies, as soon as I raised my arm to touch his waist then he backed up immediately.

"don't think our rivalry is going to end. I still need a challenge from you."

"...understood."

he walked back to the fire, warming his body up in the ground of my home. Damn I lose my chance..it isn't so bad to grow closer since I do want to be closer than ever before. I don't want to be at arm's length. I want to be at an inch near him. To touch, to grasp, to caress, to cradle. this is the beginning of something I'm afraid of. the beginning of forbidden love as I fell for him first. the time we ate smores, the time I healed his wounds by taking the bullet shards off his flesh. it's a continuous painful torture. and I can't escape it until all the desire in me had broken its way out of me. All the locks onto the door keeping this feral desire are shut, and it remains shut until i have the authority to find every single key, put it in the lockhole, and let it out. I still can't.

I kept my obsessive, pain filled gaze at his closed, relaxed eyes for a minute. every fiber in me is screaming in lustful agony. Every single cell in me is circulating and gushing, pumping speedily just so I can get what I want with no boundaries or obstacles in my way. of course, the path to getting what I truly need is a dangerous one. my breath is ragged. and my lips are quivering before I look back to the elevator to drop down to the shower rooms.

Walking in the downstairs hall, I find the shower rooms, and yet it comes back. jaha's strong manly aura remaining in the walls of the dripping wet washroom, undressing myself beginning to grow more lustful to alluring, resonating, and vibrant ripe manly scent coating my leftover soap bars as I turn on the water to drown myself in the hot water. it pours into the skin of my naked body as my mind is consumed by him. the idealistic standard of a man obsessed with one another - actually, it isn't a standard. It's a neverending poison corrupting your parts, not physically but mentally and psychologically. it continues to take the damage even if you don't feel it at times to someone who seems emotionless with you every time you're with them. It began to grow worse and worse.

Nothing in my authority has the ability to raise my nail and stop this poison with a cure. The cure is fulfilling my desires without reason or any thought, which is dangerous to do at any point in time or place. this is becoming hazardous. the dripping water sliding down my skin is making me think of his fingers sliding down. to the abyss of pure sexual tension. I cant..this is like experiencing rabies. my shower time was supposed to be longer than 45 minutes but I been in here for an hour.

Still gazing at the surging, bursting waters of the shower head. I slowly look down to my crotch, lips quivering and eyes in horror and desire for what I'm about to touch. my twitching member between my legs as my hand moved on its own, stroking the tip slowly as I felt controlled by a puppeteer, guiding my limbs to move and walk by their nimble fingers By an electric shock of pleasure. I bounce my head up and let out a soft moan. this is why I said this is hazardous. this is my rival. the person I should desire with hatred instead of this raging, furious lust exploding inside my fragile heart. But something in me can't. can't hate him,desire to kill him, can't do anything to harm him. this is too strong. This is too powerful, I can't handle this, and this is the only way.

my tip is pouring out a whitish grayish subtance as it's nonstop twitching uncontrollably every gesture and stroke I make to give into the pleasure to please myself over somebody else. Is this the sin of lust? Something I never truly embodied within my spirit, Something that is considering to be addictive at first but horribly painful in the end. mongrang. What the absolute living fuck are you doing to yourself right now?

I bite my lips in ecstacy. doing more than just stroking the tip. My trembling hands moved up and down upon my shaft, giving into the lust with a strong ripple of embarrassment and terror for my own actions. I can't control. My member swells within my hands but turns out: every memory I try to think of inside my head is only blocked with thoughts about jaha's mere aural presence. full of stoicism and confidence, full of menace and badassery, full of strength, intelligence,and superhuman abilities, full of love and compassion for the people he saves in the lower class, full of sass and personality, full of humor and different levels of mistreat. This is insane. it doesn't feel right, but it does feel right.

My hand moved faster, my mouth intentionally letting out a symphony of soft moans and ragged gasps, pants, and whimpers, my mind whirring his beauty, his personality, his strength, his intelligence, his battle iq, EVERYTHING.

eyes rolling back drowning in the sultry rush of emotions. I feel it coming out in bursts. some form of an incoming climax of a bomb exploding right near you right before it exploded. I saw a note slip under the door, snapping me out of it instantly. i quickly turned off the shower and dressed myself before opening the note. I think about what I was doing, and then I felt guilty about it. nearly embarrassed. I should never share this with anyone. EVER.

I read the note, and it's written by the sword demon.

"mongrang. I have to notify you about this. But your enemy's company set some of our industry, production companies on fire. So, in case of that incident recently, we're starting an early war, and preparations are in due time. it starts next month, so it's best to train yourself while you still can. our men had to collaborate with some military forces, and our individual elite men had to be trained extra for the damage caused. best to upgrade your weapons while you still can since our production in metal and resources have been cut off completely. your still one to that mission right?

To target their most strongest? Time is up. you have to kill him either in the last day of this mouth or kill him in less than two weeks, or else you'll be in for a lot of trouble. refrain from sharing your personal data with him. getting...smores won't exactly be ideal. Good luck.

P.S. Our secretive investigation of that criminal group is ongoing, but the results haven't come in yet to their wearabouts since their initial headquarters have been left emptied.

-Sword Demon."

I clenched the note in disbelief. his enemy's company has been plotting war crimes against mine? But what about our relationship? What about our recent declaration and trust between this friendship is lost pieces of a discontinued puzzle? And yet.. It's a mix between never caring about the consequences of caring for my long-lived nemesis and caring about the consequences of my own life, including his to be exact.

the bottom of the note said: "Go to the middle of a city ruins to face the challenge and defeat the enemy."

I got into my normal clothes before going up to the higher level of the building to meet jaha once again, closed eyes as he observed the abandoned broken structures and the barely visible sun. god, he looks so goddamn beautiful. I suddenly just remembered the horrid crap I did earlier in the middle of the shower. am I supposed to approach him normally after that just happened? It's my fault since I acted upon my own desires for longing.

I sat behind him, reluctantly ignoring my thoughts. warming my hands in the fire as I watch his relaxation to the apocalyptic atmosphere, silence is deafening and noiseless. only the sounds of our soft breathing fill it with meaning instead of meaningless. I want to conversant. Before it lasts as our relationship might break while nobody is at fault for breaking the glass picture of a married couple. never point the fingers at anybody for something that is or isn't by control or by authority if the married couple wanted to keep the picture there for pride of their successful relationship dispite the worldwide bullshit of whores.

"are you ok?'

"Yeah. reminiscing."

"About?" I answer in curiosity.

"...mind your business."

I start to subject that feeling in me as some kind of assumption. a superstitious accusation of what he's thinking about. he's being secretive, but I can't force him to share anything about his personal life or even his occupation. hungry curiousity can be a blessing and a curse, but since he quit his mafia company. He shouldn't have anything to worry about other than the point of survival.

"mongrang."

"?"

"I sensed a presence here. did someone give you a note. If so.. what did it say?" He commented while turning his back to warm himself up in the shower.

"..."

I shouldn't tell him. but why does he want to know that?

"it just said..a upgrade onto our company."

"...I see."

I inspected his mild disbelief at my lie filled words. My questions for him are something I can't hold in for much longer.

"Do you feel anything for me?"

"What kind of fucking question is that-"

" I need the truth."

I sense his irritation as I forced his hand to tell the truth. but within that irration. it's growing and resonating like a blooming flower.

" I do. I do..are you happy? I feel something every time I see you. I won't disclose it yet since it's struck behind me, whipping me out of pain but..desire."

"You want me to share something I believe will have you baffled and possibly...aroused."

"Ok? say it."

It took all my courage to say what I think im going to say.

"I touched myself over you. eariler in the shower. I felt...so much. It's unbelievable how much lust I felt..over you. but.. good thing I got interrupted because I would've been seeing sparkles in my vision right now if I ever... didn't stop myself from finishing what I was doing to myself. You control me. and it's dangerous to feel this way about you even if we have to kill each other. It's truly terrifying to be harboring so much lust over a man I'm supposed to hate..i-isnt that just..odd? Jaha Lee.

the man that I used to oh so hate because of your crazy bullshit with shit drugs.

The man who gave it the all to murder my forces.

The man who matches me alike in terms of power.

The man I long for, instead of hate.

the man who I saw again and again for so long out of bloodlust or anger. that all changed.."

I didn't expect his reaction, but he seemed almost... shocked? his facial expression spelling his desire for me as well but is too stubborn to show his beautiful face to me. I waited for his response. Just like an obedient lovesick fool would do.

"That's honestly surprising to me for the sex demon to be so infatuated for a man like me..but your fucking insane for touching yourself. I won't complain but geez."

"Sorry.. I got too carried away on my own desires."

"It's fine."

jaha snapped the fire away with a mere hand gesture, leaving only the light dirty brown misty sky to be the only source in the room. But why did he put out the fire? he studied my reactions with a smile? Is he pampering me? This man I used to hate so much with every rapid beat of my heart with the disgusting and uncomfortable feelings of surging and gushing hatred inside this beating heart is now replaced with a pounding of longing, mixed conflict between our occupation requirements, and the final feeling is pure NEED.

overly dramatic enough, he still kept observing me, hawking at me like a bird before the atmospheric tension changed to something.. more sensual. maybe this is it. maybe this is something I craved from him. maybe he desires me, too. almost like he kept it inside him for so long enough to be psychologically and physically damaging. It damaged me to the point of touching myself out of it. It's damaging him in ways that can not be described. His ways of dealing with it are unknown, but I have yet to know in due time that I can see it in his gaze. and so my heart continues to pound.

He went closer, keeping his gaze into my eyes.

I felt everything that I tried so hard to hide. I'm afraid to say it but I'm in love.

his hands lightly touched my flushed cheeks. no words were spoken. actions speak louder than words, and jaha did that mere definition of that infamous old saying, I felt his hot breath near my lips as he moved closer to pressing his body against mine on the wall. I felt so...madly obsessed. so brainwashed, so in love, insanely and mentally crazed. it can not be helped. my body kept screaming for him, my mind scrambled into pieces, my eyes telling everything I was afraid to say as he held me onto the wall, trapping me, forcing me to face what I want all along, forcing me to entwine.

And so the final act began by his hand, his lips pressed against mine roughly, smearing his chapped lips onto mine in that aggression I love so much every time we fought, that one time 5 years ago in a nightclub when we fought in the middle of a casino private game room, I slammed him down into the bar and pinned his wrists to the woody table before stabbing me in the arm to get me off. this is exactly that reference to this kiss. he slowly entered his tongue inside my mouth, and I let him give full access just to take me to the edge and beyond.

I held my own in this aggression. His slight grunts make me crave for him more and more. I grab his hips roughly and pulled him more to the warmth of my body, I finally got what I wanted, but at what cost? the consequences of our occupations are going to get us both killed if our lust for each other's presence. But if jaha is by my side, then I won't have anything to lose. our tongues slither like snakes to taste each other's flavors as I open back up my eyes to see the saliva pooling down to his neck all the way to his collarbone. I push even harder, deepening this rough kiss by taking his authority away from this. I switch the sides to push jaha in the wall.

handling his wrists. his grunt of disapproval rattled in my mouth as I felt his hands trembling by my authority in this, by my domination, secretly enjoying it as my tongue continued to taste everything. this desire... this tension filling our senses subconsciously tells me jaha had been feeling this way, for I don't know how long? it's funny. I thought I was the only one. this attractive bastard kept it in like a person keeping in their intrusive thoughts.

I left his lips with a soft wet pop. we both sucked our air back in because we were breathless. jaha wiped his mouth, covering his entire face except his eyes scowling at me.

"What the fuck..."

"You didn't like it when I get all dominant since you're so used to being top."

I grasped his wrists more tightly at this. this fucker didn't seem that mad but at the same time he did.

"..."

"So do like it.~

"I didn't say that."

"I have a question. what is our relationship now? change of topic?"

I stared back into his eyes, wondering about our relationship. The worry complained in the back of my head, and they won't shut the fuck up. They keep knocking at the back of my head, being like an annoying little kid wanting extra candy late at night in a Halloween night, this shouldn't be intent since the raging desire in me had burnt down to merely a small flame but I have to ask out of my own curiosity.

"What is this? is this a hate-love relationship? we tried to end each other in our past, humiliate and destroy each other at any chance we get by hatred or by command of our own. you hated me more than ever. why did you suddenly change your idea towards me despite our rivalry."

" I knew you had a change of heart when you saved me. you didn't have any intention of killing me as i dissected every single point of your actions by contributing to my health and well-being. I analyzed you as far as I can do, and now I see your confliction of our company's war threats is going to jeopardize our relationship as we're supposedly to be enemies. I contribute to nobody. The only reason why I quit is to live for jaha Lee. even if this society of ours makes our existence meaningless, then it's worth living as long as you survive to live for yourself."

that powerful statement shook me to the bone as his expression was genuine, but doesn't he consider our relationship as I'm the only one in here that's still in a fugitive company out to get him?

"What are you going to do if my company tries to.."

"Take me on. I'll die trying."

"You shouldn't regard your safety like that. you haven't answered my questions whether if we're lust driven enemies." I breathe those words near his neck as I place light kisses on his rough skin.

"I say I'd love you, and I hate you. you feel the same, too. when we used to argue so much about diarrhea and how I publicly humiliated you in front of a girl that you've liked~ Your reactions were mildy hilarious."

"You find my suffering entertainment?" I continue to place small wet kisses onto his neck.

"Yeah. so it's both. it's a toxic mix with a hint of sweetness in its flavor. that sweetness is your comfort in finding my intent mysterious but uncaring since lust consumed you so much." I heard him sigh at my kisses as I lifted my head up to gaze at him at that same lustful intent.

"fuck I love it when you sway individuals with your words of surprising intellect. don't you understand my hatred for you is slowly dissolving into meaningless pieces of paper as I'm supposed to pick back up all the pieces and keep it? How am I supposed to hate you if I can bring myself to do it?"

"change of heart to me, you could've left me to die at that moment of spitfire by that horrendous tank but no. You chose to save me by healing me after I saved you back."

I'm persistent in giving him that desire, but his sights and his grunts at my light kisses fulfill me enough.

"Exactly. I was there. You also had that drive to save me, didn't you?"

"...no. simply felt like it."

"In that case..do you enjoy it when I kiss you..?~"

his entire demeanor changed from the moment that spat out of my seductive tone, my grip on his wrist shut tightly so he wouldn't push me off just to deny this all. defiant madman.

"hm. Yeah. I won't lie since that's clearly what you hate."

"You know everything I hate about you. Including your lies. such an analytical bastard you are. Case in point.~"

"Are you trying to have sex with me? i can literally feel it. Just a question. "

my smirk grew wider at his question.

"Maybe I am. Do you want to take that chance?"

"Hm. No. so how you proclaim this lust you feel?"

"What are you talking about?" he caught my hand slipping down to his lower body as he didn't seem to care.

"Isn't it all the time or sometimes? some parts of your energy every time you are around my presence is just either enforced self-control or just a facade to you. I wondered why or how this happened."

"Came..out of nowhere..that's my honesty. it hit me straight in the face and left a permanent mark. I wonder why also..why I just.."

he pushed my hand out of his bare skin.

"Calm down. we can't. Not for right now. we got jobs so we must rest."

He stepped away from me just to lay on my bed. My hesitation to grab him more and feel his warmth is making my fingers twitch erratically, my self control is slowly coming back as I started to realize the gravity of our relationship. he came to a point when I lust for him and he lust for me too dispite the fact that we can't be together whatsoever. I breathed in and out slowly as I looked at him on the shoulder to see his gaze at the full moonlight behind that mist.

I stare right back at the beauty of the full moon shining upon the despair ridden, abandoned, purged city ruins, same as my window laminating at my floor. I feel completed, but not yet filled with that same completion. with love. There's sacrifice. with love, it's imperfection of two, with love, you have to do the right thing for the one you're obsessed with. but the truth hurts. this isn't love. its lust. And lust is a dangerous addictive sin cursing humanity with its joyous ecstacy. my actions of falling in love with this man is all desire and not real, raw love out of me. but isn't that not surprising?

My former life before the apocalypse was to mess with women's emotions about love and lust before breaking their hearts peice by peice as their tears represent every part of hurt they feel, I still can't forgive myself for that. but for jaha. It's different. he's full of honesty and lies, speaking the truth even if men have a hatred for straightforwardness. I also wonder everything I did for him. I question everything.

terrible fucking habit, I slowly walked to the bed, laying beside him. I noticed he's distant, trying to regard our enemies to lovers/ lovers with the fine print contract problems by turning his back to the lust we felt earlier, that's understandable. I won't blame him since this is also consuming the depths of my small pinkish whitish brain. While this situation is blocking our path to entwining with each other's boundaries and consent. I still want him as badly as I want things to go back to normal. I slowly reach out to his waist and squeeze him even though he's fast asleep. I close my eyes, squeezing him like he's the one thing that's important in my entire life. something surprising happened.

his hand squeezed mine.

Further proof, he feels my presence beyond his maddening dreams of probably murder and war. I blink my eyes open and closed before falling right to sleep, exactly like a baby sleeping on his/her mother's warmth, jaha is my warmth. I love him. More than anything. love him more than I loved any slut choosing me to fuck their holes like a obedient man whore. a playboy.

more than my parents, more than I value my entire life, goodnight jaha Lee.

-short timeskip- ( next morning, basically)

I stirred awake to see jaha out of bed. I watched him pull on his gas mask, wearing the same clothes last night, just to go somewhere unannounced as I was asleep. his hands raised up to press his fingers to the handle of his gun, reloading it with fresh bullets. I forgot how perceptive he is by noticing me staring at him like he has eyes in the back of his head, gazing at me in the shoulder by those attractive bulbs.

"where are you going?"

"to check on lydia. can't have a single mother with children survive temporarily in this society."

"Be safe ok?"

I watch as his hair poofing out of his gas mask sway in a mixed rhythm along with his hips, each step he took drives himself further and further away from me. He's detached as always as he didn't say anything to me back, dropping down to the first level out of my home while I'm left with burning curiosity to what he's about to do with lydia. In the time being: I should search for some food near the company or get those chickens from a farm he mentioned by nourishing myself a better meal rather than consuming processed cancer infused foods.

I clip on my gas mask and leave.

-Jaha's Pov-

should I tell him the truth? this is utterly vile. the company boss instructed me to grow closer closer to mongrang and then backstab him by jabbing the knife to the core of his human body and then looking at him directly in his pain filled eyes as I twist it. bringing him more agony than before his departure to the netherworld. by our growth of turning from two bloodhungry enemies loathing each other's mere existence and concept to lovers. ish. this is supposed to be my mission even if I quit my respective mafia facility. if I do kill him. my company would have an advantage. I don't want to do this. but I have to. he's trusting me more and more to the point of more pain at fulfilling this. I'm being honest. His self hatred of his past is something I can respect. I can remember his actions fondly.

we were blazing hatred and conflict at each other once our mission to be in the same mansion for 1 week is pure torture. one night. he brought a girl over to the mansion, and he did this on purpose purely because he was next door. He had sex with the bitch. fucking her so hard enough to scream his name at the top of his lungs. but the fact that he hates himself for doing something like that is unexpected but valid. any man would be arrogant enough to excuse their actions by their physical appearance or just make up a stupid excuse but he was honest.

I walk to the back of the company, seeing a gaurd holding the door open for me.

I walk in to see the boss, a smug look as I sit down.

"You noticed the letter I sent you, hm? some of my reporters had informed me you and mongrang had been sleeping together before she slipped the note under the door. care to tell me why you quit only to be with the enemy? Did you forget about your mission?"

"I never forgot about the mission. my purpose of quitting is to live for myself. this is my life, so if I chose to sleep with the person I USED to hate, then so be it. Our relationship grew enough to render us lovers. you told me to go along with the mission whether I quit or stay."

his breath grew ragged, holding in his rage as much as he can.

"Yes, I did. news flash. I don't care about your ridiculously boring maddening life. your refusal to deal the damage to their most formidable is much irritating to see. if you even taste the sickening flavor of despair and remorse for sticking the knife out of his flesh once the damage is done. suck it up. the reward out of the hurtful damage is an advantage and winning out of cheating. people are stupid when they care about someone. Just like your being stupid."

"Did I ever agree to the terms of this mission."

"You don't have the authority to argue. yes. You agreed to the terms, and now you have to suffer the consequences of being with the person you eventually have to betray for us to strike and kill everyone of their forces with ease."

I chew on the pen, staring at his faltering smile as he expects his words to bust through me and hit me out of fear but I feel nothing.

"Hehe.. let me ask you one question. if I ever considered killing him. would you believe his death is ever going to bring mongrang's company down the drain? do you think they completely rely on his abilities to win these wars? consider observing their increase in weaponry and their strategy to decimate your facility in a flash. the enemy can be stupid at first but can get increasingly more intelligent as you observe their behavior in leadership."

"Don't see how any of this is relative to our priorities to destory and take control."

the stimulating odor of this man's cigarette huffed out of his breath in a small visible smoke.

"Did you ever think about the entirety of this?"

"Your saying?"

"Don't you think mongrang is assigned the same mission to secretly stab me in the back out of selfish reasons and kill me just to benefit this sickening company?"

"...."

"So.~"

his realization is hilarious.

"That means we'll kill each other..dispite the forbidden love we harbor as a way to create more despair in the relationship by grabbing our pocket knives and going inside the meaty flesh of our backs. Due to the frustrating term to inflict more pain onto each other by lust and hatred... this is all orchestrated by you, isn't it?"

that cigarette stinking up his breath fell out of his mouth onto the hard wooden table, sizzling by the bud. he knew I was right about that. two individuals made to kill each other from the start without the pathetic realization that this causes both ends between our companies. it's humans on a leash, and the one who's controlling the leash is the gods themselves since they have the authority to let us out our animalistic cages/ leash to let us fight to survive by gifted intelligence.

"Surprising? figured this out from the start. this is suicide for ours. pairing two powerful fugitives to kill each other but failed to realize the cost of sending us both to slit each other's throats. this is also about you. If I didn't quit, then you'll use me. and they'll use him."

"Then why are you choosing to stay with him if you know about all of this nonsense. are you that I'm love with him and his ecstacy as the sex demon to be feeling the sharp cuts of despair when you two end each other's lives?"

"You forgot we're controlled."

"Controlled? Ah-"

I pick up the cigarette's bud, sticking its sizzling dissipating bud on his forehead.

"Yes. You corporate sloths use and use those you see who are important to your work, take and take when it's nothing left to take, kill who you want to kill, and steal who or what you want to steal. we are the mere definition of that. even if we don't want to kill each other, then it's not a choice we get to decide. such gods to control someone's choices, decisions, and entire goals of a human life. This is what's wrong with the world. so much..abusive authority."

"Then answer my question, jaha. are you in love with him?"

he looked slightly intimidated as I glanced down at him at the question, flicking the cigarette off his forehead to the place of his lap.

"I am. subconsciously. are you going to use that information to build yourself a plan? here's the thing you son of a bitch."

my finger dragged through his face to open up his eye socket, his red pumping veins and black pupils looking directly at me in shock.

"we'll survive. and watch the two burn down each other's forces, companions, units, and buildings with a big bag of popcorn at our hands, ravaging the buttery sensation and the crunch as I consider letting mongrang live. in hopes of our fate not being destined for demise. far enough ft a pathetic albano monkey like you to see my future as disposable only because you think your existence is god. your NOTHING without this wealth. kiss my ass goodbye as I'll be the one to spit on your grave."

"You absolute...what side are you on? Mongrang's side or my side?"

I open his socket harder just to bask in the concept of our eyes basically being windows to the souls.

"I'm at nobody's side. I'm living for myself."

"mongra-"

"He can be my side at any time. I'll leave it to his own decision."

I let go of his socket and started to step out of the vicinity. his pleading voice stopped me on the tracks.

"Wait. If you'll agree to join my company again and help me destory the enemy, then you're gifted a million dollars. It's how much you want/ how much you need. please.."

" I don't care about money. I'm better off learning more and more how to survive in this damaged society than rather be wealthy. oh and..one more thing."

"what?"

he flinched as my whole demeanor changed from calm to menacing, filled with murderous intent. gripping my fist so hard, blood started seeping out of my fingers.

"where is yoran?"

"...if you really want the answer. she's in another city in a small orphanage, being taken care of. her health is 100%, and her mental state is good. no psychological effects from the apocalypse/ doomsday had been detected. don't worry about her. I'll give you her location of the city if you'll work for me."

" desperate. thanks for the updates."

I left, walking back into the street. Only to see mongrang at the side of the street carrying bags of food and a handful of dead chicken.

-Back to mongrang's original pov-

I heard everything. he didn't even consider my name to live this life with him. why hasn't he killed me yet since our influence on each other's toxic love is inflicting the behavior of his actions. I'm not mad, but I'm rather confused. The point of jaha's intentions is to let my presence around his life as he wants to live on his own. so he's basically letting ourselves free to stick to our devoid soulless survival life during this forbidden love of ours.

"...what are you doing here?"

"I thought you were checking on lydia."

"I lied. I been invited to a meeting with the boss."

his hands clamp at the core of my mouth underneath the gas mask and push me to a storage room of an abandoned food production facility to keep our personal information quiet. the black moldy spots and a rotting scent of trash and expired milk.

"You had a meeting. How did you get it?"

"It was in the middle of the night. while we were asleep. I heard a note slip under your door, so that's how I came here in the first place."

"I have a lot of questions of this entire ordeal."

my voice spoke, a hint of pain in its tone.

" it seems like you don't care about me. after all the times we spent on each other's wellbeing. worrying about our safety in living in this horrible destroyed society of ours just for you to stick it to my decision to live the rest of my life with you as you never seemed to think about it yourself.."

"I never said I didn't care. I didn't want to be the one to control your own decisions and goals in your mind since we're both humans. We have intentions to live or intentions not to live in this depressive post apocalypse. if you assume I don't think about all the times we've cared for each other despite our past encounters in two different demeanors completely opposite of our assumptions to each other, then you're wrong. I don't just want to live for myself since that's my intention after this civil war between two humans that are the same. I want to live for a purpose."

"Oh ok so this idealistic purpose and need to live at our point is just a young asian man roaming around this dead city that's used to be mafia alone..? No food, no water, no home, no family, no daughter? Is that your intention to do after you took the chance to kill a person who actually loves you for who you are!?"

his breath hitches at my words, his stoicism slowly crumbling.

"If we're able to escape the uncontrollable addiction of greed and horror of abusive authority in this destroyed society by taking both of us to the depths of hell whom blades stabbed each other intentionally but unintentionally by the hands of these vile assholes. I do expect myself to be alone. I can accept my life as having subordinates and companions. but this is life or death. we still don't have a choice. not while you're still my enemy.

not while I have nothing. no units, no forces. No, anything after I quit. Even while I'm stuck with trying to survive along with you. I still don't have a choice. This isn't forbidden love. it's love with obstacles, paths full of pain and anguish, and our divided forces."

"If you want to take my life, then do it. fulfill yourself with it. embrace the mere fact that you've just killed someone who is in love with you. who wants to be with you, who wants to explore intimacy and boundaries with you. love can be at the deepest darkest places of this planet but yet can't find the small speck of the love you want in that darkness. I just want you."

my eyes softening up to make it clear I'm genuine.

"We cant..I can't. Can you see that? life or death isn't a multiple choice test in school. it's a choice depending on the lives of your loved ones or your own family? why do you think we both haven't killed each other yet? we're so... wrapped up in our own emotions, too blind to know this can't work. no matter how hard you try to push me to fall more and more down to the abyss, awaiting danger. we're so caught up onto our feelings, our hearts, everything. yet it still can't work."

" I'll find a way to make it work myself. because I'm not going outside into the world without the mad demon whom I am in love with, to guide me through the path of no more mind numbling murdering of people and repetitive life cycles. I'll be a reckless bastard if the only chance I get out of feeling true love is bullshitery and divided hatred. Even if our divided companies I don't care for fall in destruction. then I still want you."

"We can't. Are you understanding or not?"

My hands hesitated before deciding to grasp my hands to his.

" I understand well. control is temporary, it's trivial, it's destructive and devastating for the innocent and the lower class of society, it's beautifully joyous to those who want that control to make people bow to their mere grasp. this control we both go through as not just similar enemies. But it is destorying the foundation of our relationship as I desire to progress it to a higher level than before. understand our strength as being our single individual weapon used for the purpose of crushing them."

"You forget our companies have a entire army."

"When was the last time you killed hundreds, jaha?"

"a short while ago."

my eyes full of determination and affection, grasping his hands slightly tighter as I believe this to be real and I want it to happen. the foundational system of love's cycle upon humanity's behavior gives a feeling of stupidity upon just...throwing a limb for the person you love dearest in your entire life.

"Maybe we have a chance. I'm giving us an opportunity to strike back upon these rich and powerful mafia assassination companies, seeing us as rare diamonds out of an underground cave just to throw us at war, expecting us to be invincible at the horrors of the apocalyptic battle field. Just so our relationship can expand more. grow more, develop more. I hate to admit it despite the fact you gave me a horrible, agonizing case of diarrhea years ago in front of the girls I was PRETENDING to like. But..I'm hopelessly and utterly in love with you. so much, in fact. just like we expressed our desire back at my home. But I'll keep it real. I want to be with you. I want all of you. I want every single inch of you. personality wise, body wise, appearance wise, intelligence wise, cunning and intimidating wise. All of the FUCKING wise.

The reason I initiated the plan to destroy our own is because im so sick was tired of having to deal with this constant drama, wars, and bloodshed, so sick of being unable to get closer to you as soon as the rush of these emotions first began."

he was shocked at first when I confessed to him, he nodded in acceptance of my love and to my plan.

"Love you too.. I approve of the plan."

"..never thought this would happen to us. but..you stay safe. I got to go back to my company for any updates on the civil war problem."

"Alright."

I slowly stepped back, hesitantly, giving a jaha a small affectionate smile before leaving to the direction of my company, I could feel his eyes still staring back at me. and it isn't worry or indifference. it's actual compassion in that expression. I can sense it. I was so blunt to be confessing my desire to him like this, but this is finally the climax. the explosion in my soul when I'm openly done hiding my own emotions away from him, even though he's a asshole to many, and an icy mass murderer with strength unmatched to most that's what is attractive about him. His flaws don't bother me one bit. all I want is him.

I step back into the company lobby, seeing the sword demon consult to a charcoal battered blacksmith with multiple handmade guns and weapons onto his hand.

"Aye."

"Your back. Where have you been?"

"...taking care of Lydia. what's going on in the company?"

he eyed at the blacksmith, signaling him to leave, and so he did. Getting back to work.

"we're setting up preparations for the civil war. our blacksmiths are putting in work to create the blueprints to what perspective our master wants us to use while fighting in the middle of battle. so most of us are occupied at the moment. anything about their most powerful assassin as in intel? I heard one of our city Intel reporters saw you and jaha spend more time together than usual. Is that true?"

"no."

"Can you prove it?"

My hand slowly balled into a fist. God, why do I have to hide my relationship with him like I'm hiding my boyfriend away from a homophobic Christian family? I don't want to lie, but I have to. I spoke with a slightly ragged voice:

"I've been helping him go back to his company since the mist makes it harder to see. and also the direction to his individual company is like a maze around the city ruins. So."

"...fine. make sure to upgrade your fighting equipment before you do anything else. Oh and boss has a another mission for you."

I sighed in irritation.

"What's the mission..?"

"He needs you to go outside of the city ruins. like into the wilderness to gain intel on current plant/ food life regarding resources from outside the apocalypse. the point of the mission is to camp and see your experience in survival and food nourishment. Including the information given back to us. go ahead and upgrade. I got to talk to the boss. I'll give you a discount."

"Thanks man."

I walk into the heat, the burning smell of melting iron and metal, watching the sword demon go to the direction of the boss's office. I place my weapons and my guns down on the blacksmith desk before having the curiosity to see why he's visiting him. I walk to the office, making sure nobody is around to see me pouncing around private conversations. I press my ear on the door to hear their voices. I overheard:

"He always lies to me straight to face. mongrang is clearly in love with our enemy, the one who's much more of a dangerous liability to your forces than we thought were true, the one who's strength in inhuman. I thought you were better than to send him constantly on missions instead of having him train better to give us a victory..! The intel reports says right on the dot that they're much more of a love grown relationship than we anticipated. Should we just call quits?"

"Calling quits because of a gay love relationship or is it just your own worries in your own subordinate being hurt and broken by asking him to kill the man he loves? Aren't you the one who asked him to hurry up and kill him before the civil wars come into play? You always don't make sense. I don't even bother asking a mere blacksmith to know any better than common sense."

his voice rose slightly louder at his boss.

Yes. But-"

"Then it's no point trying to work out personal issues created by two beings we control. they can hurt each other and suffer the same despair by a sacrifice, but it's always pain in the depths of love. by our authority resides pain in their love. I don't care if mongrang is so deep in this love that he'll kill himself if he even was to actually kill jaha by his hands. all it matters is that we WIN."

his cigarette lifted off his mouth, letting out a breath of smoke.

"You and...him..are brothers, are you? You and our main enemy? The man who issued his own forces to kill hundreds to thousands of our units, including jaha and his destructive capabilities in combat and melee weaponry? The intel on your backstory is hidden deep beneath the stairs of our secretive archive, stored in a cabinet of the boss's personal information regarding your parents and relatives. your...his brother. you're our enemy's sibling.."

"And why did you feel the need to look into the archived without permission?"

his charred, thin lips took the cigarette to the tip of his mouth once again, exhaling a cloud of cancer.

"I needed the reasoning why you're doing all of this. Were you two corporate billionaires made to rivalry with each other due to family favoritism and abuse? Is it a possible truama? is it an insecurity to be born with a secondary brother possibly taking away the empire you were destined to obtain from the start of your first cry? All the evidence to prove your blood related family had been demolished. almost like you burned it. The only thing that is left is "two siblings" at the side of the paper and information your family had done before the apocalypse. Mass murder, torture, cartel, mafia, drugs.."

"It will be better to shut your mouth then rather dig deeper into my origin story. What I want is a flawless victory in this civil war. a clash between the ying and the yang. two opposites. I don't care if mongrang's despair for killing the one he loves is jeopardizing his work and his life as a whole. this victory is ours. If you have anything to say, then you can leave. The preparations are nearly complete. until then..do your job."

he sighed in resignation. leaving the office.

I hide behind the door, but he doesn't seem to notice me. But..are you kidding me? brothers? despair? Flawless victory? so this entire fight we have been having for years is nothing more than a pointless sibling rivalry over unknown reasons?

[fusion360]

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[blacktoothcomics]

*ur secular elders, especially brown and gypsy elders whether ur blooded to them or not.

don't overtax your relationships with your peers for any of the wisdom and grace we can better find in the longer lived. we all just stupid baby idiots bumping into each other for lack of love, especially if our own personal grandparents were victims of trauma and abuse and can't provide any of these things for us.

my SECULAR catholic grandpa never GAF if i wasn't baptized or was trans or autistic, he always laughed his ass off whenever i fought with the town bishop. and then he would agree with me, take me aside to explain to me and my cousins why we are secular but still engage in catholic culture, dietary restrictions et c, and keep up on migrant history and immigration policies in local and presidental policymaking.

that's right, migrant workers are in every technicality gypsies too, no matter the country they were displaced from, nor their race, nor the flavor of abrahamic cult, nor secular governing powers that (all) failed to keep them safe.

and i would really hate it if cultural catholicism was ever maligned with those fanatics in the cults building churches and hoarding riches, it would break my entire heart for our modern discourse to erase the distinction between abrahamic history and abrahamic fanaticism (toxic church fanatics are rarely brown, u ever notice that?).

if your catholicism ISN'T queer and brown and gypsypunk-foreward mission goal of socialising your town FOR EVERYONE TO HAVE ACCESS TO, yes especially homeless and addicts and the disabled and elderly and ESPECIALLY THE POORS AND REFUGEES, then that "religion" is just a fascist grift and you should probably tax that as a business, noinch.

anyway my point is this is pique "boomer" meme for a reason, as surviving brown boomers survived to meme on the internet bcos they treat elders as equals and friends with lots of support to lend to the family unit.

but no yeah no lol don't uh, don't list this as a requirements for same-age peers, cos being young is about making mistakes and getting in scuffs and we don't want to try to pressurize kids into trying to be too perfect or too full of grace before they have any actual life experiences to base any of that grace on.

cos that's howcome tumblr dot com and other webbed sites are struggling with a rise in purity culture and abusive abrahamic supremacy on display. it's just kids feeling pressure to be their own elders to each other and it suuuucks

get offline go hug an elderly neighbor lmao