#tori 'if there must be sasori girls i think i should be the main one' mendoza

[mixelation]

do you think tori/kakashi/sasori would work?

oooh i talked about this some in the sasori girls au. and the.... possibly separate ninja rpf au? what was happening back then. anyway, here's a post and now some Thoughts

i don't think it could happen in mutagenicity because kakashi would never go for a romantic relationship with tori. he's known her since she was 12 and it would freak him out.

for the course i currently have plasticity on....... there's no romance, but tori and kakashi have mutual interests and will have an interesting dynamic (hopefully). so in a plasticityverse au..... yes, and it's terrible :)

idk in the slew of posts about rpf there's two basic themes. one is that it apparently takes place in an au where kakashi knows tori and that she's shady, but he DOESN'T know about akatsuki. he thinks she's civilian yakuza or works at a ninja supply store servicing missing-nin or something. he meets up with her periodically to talk Fannish Content. the other theme is that sasori rpf is ultra popular and tori desperately wants acceptance into the fandom, even at the cost of sasori's disapproval (and HE wants her to shut up and do things for him).

so there is a world where kakashi and sasori cross in some sort of bizarro fandom based comedy of errors. consider:

sasori is at a bar to meet one of his contacts. kakashi is on his way back from a mission. they spot each other. kakashi's first thought is "that's tori's blorbo" and NOT "oh shit that's an s-rank missing-nin" and he will have to live with realization that these are his priorities for the rest of his life. sasori acknowledges he's there and is like "oh that's tori's weird friend" and THEN he's like "oh wait didn't she say he's hot under the mask" and he goes over to say hey

kakashi after he's determined sasori's in a good mood: hey this is. this is SUPER awkward. can you sign something for me

sasori: .....why

kakashi: my friend is.... a fan? i guess?

sasori: (feels his soul leave his body)

anyway a week later kakashi presents Tori with a signed napkin from Sasori and he's like "he's surprisingly nice" and she gets to feel her soul leave her body

[mixelation]

(for the tori being a sasori girl au)

Does Jiraiya lurk in the akatsuki rpf fandom? Considering how dedicated fandoms are at keeping tabs on all available info.

i think the rate of fandom actually revealing meaningful and correct information that he can't already get his hands on is extremely low, so no, he doesn't actively monitor it. i can see him dropping in if he follows a lead back to fandom chatter, but it's not an ongoing thing

on the other hand i can see him going into fandom sometimes for his own entertainment. not for akatsuki stuff, but i can see him buying tsunade pinups or tracking down rpf about himself. probably not habitually tho because he has insane emotions about the orochimaru content. plasticity!verse jiraiya also probably dodges fannish content about minato, although mutagenicity!verse jiraiya likely thinks it's funny. he's bought kushina saucy fanart more than once. minato HATES this but kushina gets so giggly he won't say anything

[mixelation]

oh my god how would kakashi/tori work im so concerned!

uuuh so it would be plasticity!tori, who is an adult when she meets him. idk how to go in depth without spoiling some things i don't want to spoil, but i think everyone will predict they start talking about icha icha. and they do :) but also plasticity isn't going to have "real" ships, so it doesn't really.... go anywhere? if you go through the plasticity tag i think i posted on it before (here and here and here and here aaand here, for example)

if i wrote it more seriously it would be a fandom friends -> lovers type of fic. i think there's some tori/kakashi stuff in the sasori girl au tag where he knows she's part of some very fucked up ninja shit but not the extent of it, and also, he is willing to go meet with her in the woods to tell her his new terrible fan theory to watch her face. hilarious

[mixelation]

tori briefly switches to historical ninja rpf and writes about tobirama being turned on by full factorial experimental design. this story actually does get popular but it's because people misinterpret "full factorial" as a sex act and she rage quits

[mixelation]

deidara having a "why don't YOU write about me" gripe at tori and tori being like. listen. you would do ROUNDS in the rpf community at the slightest mention of the hand mouths. but can u handle that sort of fame

three blown up kitchen chairs later and deidara is like: actually that's just going to happen anyway once people realize how awesome i am and i'd rather control the narrative. so they write a very tasteful smut fic about the hand-mouths and get three separate pieces of feedback that they're weird perverts and that's gross, ew

tori: oh right. i forgot people are fUCKING COWARDS

deidara: YEAH, FUCKING COWARDS, WTF, DANNA CAN YOU BELIEVE---

and then sasori has to listen to deidara and tori complain that their weird-ass porn they co-wrote about a fictionalized deidara (???) didn't go over well. sasori is sure he could spit out a cohesive opinion on art if only one of them could say at least three (3) consecutive normal words instead of...... whatever the fuck they're yelling about

anyway then some rando writes a minato/deidara forbidden lovers fic that gets popular and deidara loses his mind

[mixelation]

what if in the sasori girl au deidara is having a similar journey with itachi rpf

[mixelation]

Does Tori ever put knowledge shes techincally not supposed to know in her fic for the sake of accuracy?

nnnnnot really? tori has spent a lot of time carefully walking the line of "say enough to be useful enough to keep around" and "don't accidentally blab something that makes someone want to kill you." she's also from a time/society where she's seen how doxing happens and what doxing can do to people, so she's careful about what personal details she offers up. so she's ANNOYED by having to hold back some essential details but she can hold herself back because 1) she does value keeping her own life on track , which mean not pissing off coworkers or leaking akatsuki intel, and 2) actual... respect? for her coworkers??? like if sasori doesn't want to world to know he's a puppet then she's not going to tell anyone.

the exception is that obito gets really involved in her sasori/kakashi content and he'll be like "kakashi used to carry a lint roller in his weapons pack because he was an anal weirdo with too many dogs" so tori includes that and three weeks later kakashi reads this detail and breaks out into a cold sweat

[mixelation]

i attempted to write some sasori girl au. however it turned out less zany than intended??? anyway new lore ahead

Tori stayed up late reading The Book, only to fall asleep on the couch. As per what usually happened when she did that, she was woken by someone shoving her off the couch. 

Tori made some inarticulate noise from the floor and she watched her attacker prop his feet up on the coffee table above her. The Book was still clutched to her chest. The sound of the TV filled the room, and a pale arm set a mug on the coffee table. 

“You know Sasori lives with you,” Hidan said, staring down at her. “You don’t have to read a book about him like a weird freak.”

“Takes one to know one,” Tori mumbled back, rolling herself over to crawl out from between the coffee table and the couch. Hidan kicked the back of her thigh as she went, because of course he did. 

Hidan had a good point, though. Sasori should still be around the hideout. 

“Why are you reading that garbage?” Sasori demanded when she showed up in his workshop. He paused in the middle of setting a bunch of disembodied arms out on his workbench, looking her up and down critically. “Also, I told you to cover your hair when you sleep. You destroy your curls.”

Tori was sure she looked like a mess. She didn’t care. 

“You gave this lady an interview,” she said, cutting straight to the chase and waving the book at Sasori. “Or at least she says you did.”

A lot of people wrote into the official Sasori mailing list with crazy nonsense, about how their second cousin met him and learned his favorite fruit was peaches or something. There was no reason the author of The Book hadn’t also written a bunch of crazy bullshit. 

Sasori eyed the book with a look of deep disdain. 

“I was young,” he replied, and then turned back to his arm pile. 

“You did?” Tori repeated, voice louder than she meant. This was an incredible, horrible discovery. This meant that Sasori had sat down with the original Sasori girl and answered questions and basically implicitly given her the go-ahead to write her vaguely horny Sasori biography. 

Tori continued, “Have you read it?”

Sasori’s hand froze over a skeletal arm that had a bunch of metal spikes sticking out of it. 

“Are you about to describe it in excruciating detail to me?” he spat out, eyeing Tori like she was some sort of horrible offense to nature. 

“Just a summary,” Tori defended. “So you know the context. You said you liked when I explained things.”

His exact words had been something mocking about her being every Intelligent agent’s dream, because she offered up information so easily and thoroughly with very little prompting. 

“I said your enemies would like it,” Sasori snapped back. “I hadn’t yet realized your entire personality was actually a series of advanced torture techniques. Hold this.”

Sasori had Tori hold various arms, because apparently she was roughly the same proportions as his next puppet, and he wanted an idea for scale of various modifications. This meant that he did let her explain The Book, which was a very long and meandering biography of Sasori that ended up being banned in Wind Country. It was obviously heavily dialed back in places, to make Suna seem more powerful and Sasori seem less terrifying, and yet all of this had utterly failed to hide the desperate hard-on the biographer clearly had for him. 

An angelic face, she’d written. Tori supposed this was true, if you were unaware of the personality that went along with the face. 

Which, like, if she’d interviewed him, how could she not have noticed he was a mean, violent, awful man?

“Hold it up higher,” Sasori commanded. 

“Arms are heavy,” Tori complained. “Why’d you do the interview?”

Sasori reached over and pressed his hand under the wrist of the puppet arm Tori was holding, raising it up while he glared thoughtfully at it. 

“I left Suna to seek artistic freedom,” Sasori said after a beat, pulling the arm out of Tori’s hand and replacing it with another. “I thought maybe having another person who understood would assist with artistic catharsis.”

That was… surprisingly sentimental, actually. Tori felt something tug at her heartstrings. She hadn’t realized she could still feel like this. 

“Of course, I was young and foolish,” Sasori said, taking a step back to frown at the silhouette Tori cut with the puppet arms. “That woman asked useless, frivolous questions. What did she say about me?”

The chapter containing the interview was honestly the weirdest one. If Tori read individual lines of the dialogue, they did seem like things Sasori would say. He’d talked about art and beauty, and offered up a criticism of the teahouse decor that the biographer had found charming. 

The thing was, this was all spliced around descriptions of how lovely Sasori was. The biographer waxed poetic about his exotic hair, the blush of freckles over the bridge of his nose, how casual and handsome he looked seated in this quaint little teahouse. She’d gone on for a very long time about how he was used to the refined teahouses of Wind Country with their plush carpets and gold-threaded pillows, and she’d contemplated how hard leaving must have been for him. She’d described his mannerisms with her and the waitstaff as polite and friendly, which was hilarious. 

She also must have cut a lot of what he actually said about art, because there was only surface-level statements on things lasting forever and no mention of playing dress-up with people’s corpses. Most RPF writers made him a painter, wandering the world to paint…. frescos or some shit. 

“I didn’t show her my art because it rapidly became apparent she wouldn’t understand,” Sasori said plainly when Tori described the borderline humor in her romanticization of his art. “Although, yes, it sounds like she omitted some of what I said.”

He handed her another arm and then started fucking around with its elbow, adjusting the length of it. 

“You don’t seem mad about it,” Tori observed, watching him work. The forearm was all metal canisters– some sort of weapon. Her own arm was getting sore from holding it up. 

“Why should I care what some nobody writes about me?” Sasori asked. 

“Aren’t you your own best art?” Tori replied, her eyes glued to how his hands worked. “I know you don’t like when people don’t interact with art correctly. Isn’t it even worse if the art is yours?”

Sasori believed it was the responsibility of the beholder of art to bring themselves to the experience of art as it was meant to be experienced. Deidara thought it was the artist’s job to force a viewer to experience art the way the artist intended. It was a whole thing. 

Sasori popped one of the canisters in the arm free and rolled it over in his hands. 

“I don’t like it when people misrepresent you,” Tori tried. 

Sasori snorted, setting the canister on his work bench and then reaching forward to further adjust the length of the puppet arm.

“You don’t like it when you see anything at all is represented in a way you feel is disingenuous,” Sasori told her. “Don’t pretend otherwise.”

[mixelation]

wait wait wait. missing-nin rpf au brain blast. itachi/sasori fic is a thing but there's discourse over the age gap

itachi: it's true. it would have been inappropriate for me to date sasori when i was 14.

tori: oh you mean right after you killed your whole family THE AGE GAP IS THE LEAST OF MY CONCERNS

[mixelation]

We need to know

In the ninja rpf universe

How many fans does each Akatsuki member have?

Like, from most fans to least fans, how would they be listed? Obviously Sasori and Itachi are going to be near the top if not ON top

yes yes i see. number of fans is very dependent on overall fame and perceived attractiveness of publicly available photos. i'm basing fandom attitudes on fandom culture in the ~2000s so being a conventionally attractive pretty boy is very important (i KNOW y'all are super thirsty for kisame but he would not do great numbers in the 2005 era of bishounen)

of the akatsuki, sasori definitely has the most fans. this is because he's famous and also because his photos from when he was in suna are like this

if we're counting him, i actually think orochimaru probably has a lot of fans? because like. listen. the sannin were famous as beloved war heroes, and i don't think the "child experimentation" thing was something konoha spread around. orochimaru is eccentric but he does take care of his appearance and i don't think "sometimes vomits up snakes" is very well known outside of actual ninja circles. so i think the rpf community sees him as the cool, handsome older man with a tragic backstory

itachi is next because, even though i don't think itachi's character design is actually all that attractive.... he's uchiha itachi. everyone is obsessed with him. this is just a law of the naruto universe. he's very famous because of the whole "killed his whole clan at 13" thing and it's very easy to wax poetic about his raven hair.

the rest of the members are either relatively unknown due to age (deidara, hidan), known but not conventionally attractive (kisame, kakuzu), or purposefully being secretive weirdos (konan, pein, zetsu, obito). i think the seven swordsman is probably seen a as a sexy concept, so kisame is next for number of fans but the gap is pretty wide. kisame fans are very dedicated but regarded as niche. kakuzu has some fans but they're considered kind of. weird. (also there's a rumor kakuzu hunted one down at charged them for using his image without his permission?)

hidan is maybe considered an up and comer in the community. he doesn't have a lot of die hard fans, but there's chatter about him because he's pretty generically handsome. deidara WOULD do fucking numbers in this sort of community, but it's funnier if people just don't know who he is :P

there's obviously other missing-nin people like to write about, but i think tori is very like "who the fuck is this? must not be important" which is one of the many reasons the rpf community is welcoming to her. :<

i think there must also be some interest in non-missing-nin shinobi, which is how sasori/kakashi becomes A Thing, BUT i think the politics around this is a little weird. like kakashi is considered a very cool and loyal shinobi is fire country, but the rpf community in earth country has a very different take. missing-nin though.... everyone considers them horrible traitors and that's equality <3 BUT also i think the rpf community doesn't have a lot of members who are ninja or even civilians living in ninja villages.... a special interest in missing-nin is one thing if you're shop girl in a little town or a farmer in the middle of nowhere, but it might be consider suspicious behavior inside of a ninja village, you know?

[mixelation]

The idea of Deidara as the ultimate itachi girl is sending me. I imagine there would be about equal (if not more) denial on his part then tori (is tori in denial about being a sasori girl???) but also I can imagine way more art happening

the difference between deidara and tori is that tori is not insane about sasori in her time off and deidara is insane about itachi 24/7 and takes liking him as a personal offense. tori "gets" why people are fixating on a pretty missing-nin and isn't judging that they like romanticizing sasori; it's just part of her nature to be bothered by inaccuracy and she's having a series of "he would not fucking say that" moments and really needs sasori to pose in a doorway so she can demonstrate his height in the bingo book is accurate, okay? meanwhile deidara is so sure that if you just UNDERSTOOD itachi as a person you would stop liking him. romanticizing itachi is obviously some sort of moral failing that he would like to fix

tori is in denial of being a sasori girl in the spirit of fandom law but has accepted she is one by letter of fandom law. deidara is in full-blown obvious denial to the point it's kind of pathetic

[mixelation]

in the sasori girl au there's actually not many kisame girls. this is because they don't know he's the only one even remotely close to dateable

[mixelation]

tori, despondent after she gets a rejection of her fic from the sasori zine: i just think if ANYONE gets to decide what sasori content is good it should be me. i think i've earned it. i've actually been carried off and kidnapped by him

deidara, having just been banned for life by another zine: you are SO valid and right except technically i carried you off. put that in your next fic, yeah

tori: oh yeah! you owe me a muffin

deidara: why are you bullying me in my time of need

[mixelation]

a key aspect of the sasori girls au is that tori desperately wants their acceptance and validation even at the cost of sasori's

[mixelation]

an important thing to note about itachi finding "turned into a cat" stories intriguing is that just because he secretly kind of likes the fantasy, it does NOT mean he'd enjoy it in practice. itachi would absolutely hate the loss of control, power, agency, and communication for about 86% of the time. the 14% of the time where he likes it is 10% napping in the sun with zero responsibilities and 4% knocking shit off of surfaces

[mixelation]

been having an absolute shit time lately but tori’s sasori rpf shenanigans are single-handedly saving me from the brink. what does she think of akatsuki kittens and would that exist for the missing nin girls

oh no! i'm sorry you're having a bad time, anon. i hope this passes soon and until it does, that you can find plenty of silly stuff to distract yourself

tori has definitely read several akatsukitty fics and thought they were harmless fun. the formulaic nature of them is soothing, and they're good if you want to read the wildest shit of your life. i intentionally have avoided having her gush or reflect on her experiences in fandom pre-isekai because i personally don't really like reading that, but given she's loosely based on me, tori read a lot of bad fic in high school and then got distracted from it when she started college. remembering akatsukitty fics exist post-isekai feels a little bit like being kicked in the teeth.

i think kitten fics would actually really appeal to missing-nin girls. like, they give reader-you a good way to interact with a cool dangerous person under circumstances where the danger of that person is severely mitigated, and also that person becomes dependent on reader-you. the akatsuki is canonically supposed to be a little mysterious, so i don't think the average civilian really knows it exists? so there's no akatsukitty rpf, BUT there's definitely a small but strong cohort of fics about bored small town/farmer girls finding a wayward, beat-up kitten and then it turns out to be a transformed sexy missing-nin she nurse back to health and then he falls in love with her. i actually think itachi would be like.... weirdly into this fantasy deep down inside. no one else likes this though. offensive