#top colombianos

[mazojo]

Wake up besties! Disventure Camp season 4 just dropped!

[avastrasposts]

Javi steals your lunch

@sin-djarin made a fun little poll about what Pedro boy would be most likely to steal your lunch. I reblogged it with a thought about Javi P stealing the lunch and it turned into a whole fic idea so here's 800 words about Javi stealing your lunch and paying for it.

“I can’t fucking believe it….” you muttered under your breath, scanning the shelves in the break room fridge. Your carefully prepared salad, grilled chicken, avocado, fresh tomatoes and quesito colombiano your sweet next door neighbor had given you, was gone. 

Vanished. 

The spot in the fridge where you’d placed the tupperware this morning as you came into the office was empty. As were the other shelves, only a few leftover beers from an office party and some milk for the coffee. 

“Anna, have you seen my salad? Or seen anyone eating a salad?” 

Your co-worker had come in behind you, holding her own sandwich, and you sighed again as she peered into the fridge. 

“No, did someone take it? I swear this fridge is never safe to leave food in, someone always steals it,” she said, shaking her head. 

“We work at the damn US Embassy, you’d think people would be honest enough to not steal a salad,” you grumbled, slamming the fridge door shut, “I’m going out to grab something for lunch, I’ll see you later.” 

One sad lunch hour later, you came back to your desk still in a foul mood. It wasn’t lifted by the fact that you had a mountain of work to go through as a result of a successful raid the day before. Always endless red tape and transcribing to do when the DEA team caught up with one of Pablo Escobar’s sicarios. You dreaded the day they actually caught Escobar, you’d be drowning in paperwork.

The afternoon dragged along and at five you stretched your back and headed for the coffee machine, you had just turned the corner when you saw it. 

Your tupperware. 

On Javier fucking Peña’s fucking desk… 

You felt your temper rise as you stalked over to it and snatched it off the desk. The man himself was nowhere in sight, but he’d clearly been enjoying your salad, a fork sat on top and a few sad lettuce leaves remained. 

“Fucking asshole!” you snarled to the nearly empty office, but no one paid any attention to your mutterings. With a firm grip on the tupperware, you went back to the break room and washed the box out, still fuming as you tossed the dish cloth on the counter. 

“Cariño, why the frown?”

You spun on your heel and glared at the man casually leaning against the door frame with a crooked smile, an unlit cigarette dangling from his fingers. 

“You!” you snapped, waving the empty, and now clean, tupperware at him, “You stole my lunch, asshole!” 

He did have the decency to look a little bit ashamed, those stupid baby cow eyes widening as the smile slipped from his lips. 

“Cariño…that was yours? I thought it was leftovers and I was so damn hungry…” 

“It was my leftovers, Peña! My leftovers!” 

You shoved passed him, attempting to push him aside as you squeezed through half the door frame, the other half blocked by him, but you were just met with a solid shoulder under his black leather jacket.  

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking, I got back from this thing and I was getting milk for the coffee and it just looked so good.” 

He was following you down the hallway now, reached out and took hold of your arm, gently forcing you to stop just outside the evidence room. 

“Hermosa….” he cooed, letting his hand slip down your arm so that he could take yours and put it against his chest in a pleading gesture,   “Don’t be mad at me, I’m really sorry, and the salad was delicious. I had no idea you were such a good cook.” 

He had you backed up against the wall, standing close enough so that you could smell the cigarettes and coffee on his breath, warm aftershave and the faint smell of sweat after a long day. It was impossible to not look up into his warm, brown eyes, eyebrows pulled together as he pleaded with you to forgive him. 

“It’s a salad, not exactly difficult,” you replied, fighting to keep the scowl on your face as the corner of his lips pulled up into a smile, his hand closing a little bit tighter around yours. He knew he'd won you over as he tilted his head to the side and let his gaze drop down to your lips. 

“Still, I should make it up to you somehow…” he said, and you’re not sure how he did it, but somehow he’d opened the door to the evidence room and pulled you inside, his arm slipping down to curl around your waist as he shut you both in with the other. 

“Peña…” you said, trying to collect your thoughts, but it came out breathless as your anger at him melted away with every slow caress of his large hand over your back. 

“Javi,” he mumbled, leaning down close to your neck and placing a feather light kiss just under your ear, “it’s Javi while I fuck you.” 

[shakiralegends]

LAS MUJERES YA NO LLORAN - ANIVERSARIO N°1

SINGLES

COPA VACIA (2023), una colaboración con el cantante colombiano Manuel Turizo, fue lanzado como el cuarto sencillo del álbum el 29 de junio de 2023. La canción alcanzó el puesto número 55 en el Billboard Global 200 y entró en el top 20 de las listas de América Latina. En Estados Unidos, alcanzó el puesto número 31 en Hot Latin Songs.

EL JEFE (2023), una colaboración con la banda regional mexicana Fuerza Regida, fue lanzado como el quinto sencillo del álbum el 20 de septiembre de 2023. La canción alcanzó el puesto número 24 en el Billboard Global 200. En los Estados Unidos, alcanzó el puesto número 55 en el Billboard Hot 100 y el número cuatro en Hot Latin Songs.

PUNTERIA (2024), una colaboración con la cantante y rapera dominicana-estadounidense Cardi B, se lanzó simultáneamente con el álbum el 22 de marzo de 2024 como el sexto sencillo y sirvió como la primera canción de enfoque. La canción alcanzó el puesto número 69 en el Billboard Global 200 y entró en el top 20 de las listas de América Latina. En Estados Unidos, alcanzó el puesto número 72 en el Billboard Hot 100 y el número tres en Hot Latin Songs.

(ENTRE PARENTESIS) (2024), una colaboración con la banda regional mexicana Grupo Frontera, fue lanzado como el séptimo sencillo y segundo tema de enfoque solo 3 días después del lanzamiento del álbum, el 25 de marzo de 2024. En los Estados Unidos, alcanzó el puesto número 20 en el Billboard Bubbling Under Hot 100 y el número 22 en Hot Latin Songs.

[grupomusic]

KAROL G

Carolina Giraldo Navarro (Medellín, 14 de febrero de 1991), conocida artísticamente como Karol G, es una cantante, compositora y productora4​ colombiana. Su trayectoria se ha destacado principalmente en los géneros de reguetón y pop urbano, aunque también ha incursionado con una variedad de otros géneros, incluidos el afrobeat, el trap latino, el reggae y el sertanejo. Nacida en Medellín, Giraldo lanzó su carrera cuando era adolescente, apareciendo en el spin-off colombiano de The X Factor. Se mudó a la ciudad de Nueva York en 2014 para aprender más sobre la industria de la música y firmó con Universal Music Latino.5​6​ Se lanzó internacionalmente con la canción «301» junto con el cantante Reykon en 2012, posicionado en el top de varias estaciones de radios y canales de televisión, y le permitió realizar conciertos en países como Aruba, Colombia, Ecuador y Estados Unidos.

Obtuvo mayor reconocimiento en 2013, cuando lanzó la canción «Amor de dos» junto con Nicky Jam.9​ Su colaboración con el rapero puertorriqueño Bad Bunny «Ahora me llama» se convirtió en un gran éxito y fue el sencillo principal de su álbum debut Unstoppable, lanzado en 2017 y que se posicionó en el segundo puesto en la lista Top Latin Albums de Billboard.

Christel Serrano

[editorialanuketblog]

ESTE ES EL ESCRITOR LATINOAMERICANO MÁS RELEVANTE DE TODOS LOS TIEMPOS SEGÚN LA IA.

Por Santiago Díaz Benavides

Nuestro TOP 10 está más que claro, pero sentimos curiosidad de lo que podría tener entre sus datos la inteligencia artificial y esto fue lo que nos respondió

Si nos hicieran la pregunta de quién es el escritor más relevante de la literatura latinoamericana en toda su historia, seguramente entraríamos en conflicto. Escoger uno solo es demasiado complicado y es que cada una de las voces que se han destacado a lo largo del tiempo ha dejado algo distinto. Ningún escritor es similar al otro y lo que a uno lo hizo grande, al otro no.

En lo personal, decir un solo nombre sería dejar de lado muchas cosas y guiarme únicamente por lo pasional. Varios son los nombres que entran en mi “dream team”, autores de Colombia, Argentina, Chile, Uruguay y Brasil. Si tuviera que alinearlos, como si de un equipo de fútbol se tratara, ya tendría listos a los inicialistas, pero por nada del mundo saltaría a la cancha sin los suplentes.

Estuve pensando en qué nombres no debía dejar por fuera y le hice la pregunta a la IA respecto al nombre del escritor latinoamericano más importante y su respuesta me dejó aliviado. Pensé que se lanzaría a darme uno solo, pero sus datos demuestran que no es posible hacerlo. Sí ubicó a un escritor en especial a la cabeza, pero no dejó de mencionar a los que han dejado una honda marca en el extenso recorrido de las letras latinoamericanas.

Desde el realismo mágico de Gabriel García Márquez hasta los laberintos conceptuales de Jorge Luis Borges, estos son los gigantes literarios que, según la inteligencia artificial, han dejado una huella indeleble en la literatura del continente.

GABRIEL GARCÍA MÁRQUEZ: LOS SUEÑOS TEJIDOS CON PALABRAS

El colombiano Gabriel García Márquez se alza como uno de los pilares fundamentales de la literatura latinoamericana. Su destreza y técnica, producto de un talento sin igual, con las que supo entrelazar lo mágico con lo cotidiano, lo llevaron a alcanzar su cenit en su obra maestra Cien años de soledad. Publicada en 1967, esta novela no solo estableció a García Márquez como una fuerza literaria imparable, sino que también introdujo al mundo a Macondo, un lugar ficticio donde los límites entre la realidad y la fantasía se desdibujan. García Márquez conquistó el Premio Nobel de Literatura en 1982, llevando el realismo mágico a la cúspide de la literatura global.

JORGE LUIS BORGES: EXPLORADOR DE LABERINTOS LITERARIOS

Argentina nos regaló a uno de los pensadores más agudos y originales de la literatura: Jorge Luis Borges. Su habilidad para jugar con la percepción y la realidad lo convierte en un autor único. Borges llevó a los lectores a laberintos conceptuales a través de cuentos breves como Ficciones y El Aleph. Con su erudición y maestría, demostró cómo las palabras podían ser instrumentos para explorar el pensamiento humano y la naturaleza de la realidad misma.

PABLO NERUDA: EL POETA DE LA EMOCIÓN DESNUDA

Desde Chile emerge la figura de Pablo Neruda, poeta apasionado cuya voz resuena a través de sus versos. Neruda capturó el amor, la política y la naturaleza con una intensidad que conmovía. Su poesía es un testimonio de la profundidad de las emociones humanas y su capacidad para trascender las barreras del idioma y la cultura. Desde Veinte poemas de amor y una canción desesperada hasta Canto General, Neruda dejó un legado que sigue emocionando a lectores en todo el mundo.

JULIO CORTÁZAR: LA INNOVACIÓN NARRATIVA EN ACCIÓN

La literatura latinoamericana también se enriqueció con la genialidad narrativa de Julio Cortázar. Este autor argentino desafió las convenciones literarias con su obra maestra Rayuela. Una novela que invita a los lectores a ser coautores, saltando de capítulo en capítulo y creando su propio viaje literario. Cortázar demostró que las reglas literarias podían romperse en pos de una narrativa más experimental y participativa.

MARIO VARGAS LLOSA: LA PLUMA COMPROMETIDA

Perú nos brindó a Mario Vargas Llosa, cuya prolífica carrera literaria abarca una amplia gama de géneros y estilos. Desde novelas históricas como La casa verde hasta sátiras políticas como La fiesta del chivo, Vargas Llosa se distingue por su versatilidad y su compromiso intelectual con los asuntos de su época. Su influencia en la literatura contemporánea es innegable, y su narrativa trasciende las fronteras geográficas y temporales.

ISABEL ALLENDE: MAGIA Y REALISMO EN LA AMÉRICA LATINA FEMENINA

Desde Chile ha surgido una autora que ha revolucionado la narrativa latinoamericana desde una perspectiva femenina: Isabel Allende. Su novela debut, La casa de los espíritus, marcó un hito al combinar elementos de realismo mágico con la exploración de temas históricos y sociales. Allende demostró que las voces femeninas también pueden ser poderosas en el mundo de la literatura y que las historias de mujeres merecen ser contadas con la misma profundidad y pasión.

OCTAVIO PAZ (MÉXICO)

Ganador del Premio Nobel de Literatura, su poesía y ensayos son fundamentales. "El laberinto de la soledad" es un ensayo influyente.

CLARICE LISPECTOR (BRASIL)

Reconocida por su prosa introspectiva y psicológica en obras como "Cerca del corazón salvaje" y "La hora de la estrella".

JOSÉ MARTÍ (CUBA) - Escritor, poeta y líder político, su influencia en la literatura y el pensamiento independentista es fundamental.

CARLOS FUENTES (MÉXICO)

Su novela "La región más transparente" y su enfoque en la identidad y la historia mexicana son destacables.

[trastornadosrevista]

Beéle, el artista pop urbano del momento, se presentará por primera vez en Argentina

El fenómeno colombiano del pop urbano Beéle se presentará por primera vez en Argentina con un show único en el Movistar Arena. Con una propuesta musical que fusiona reggaetón, pop, afrobeats y ritmos caribeños, el artista ofrecerá una noche vibrante donde no faltarán sus grandes éxitos globales y las canciones de su aclamado álbum debut BORONDO.

 El artista colombiano Beéle llega por primera vez a Buenos Aires con un show producido por DF Entertainment que tendrá lugar el 2 de octubre en el Movistar Arena.

Las entradas estarán disponibles a través de www.movistararena.com.ar, en preventa exclusiva para clientes Galicia VISA desde el 12 de junio a las 10:00 horas, con la posibilidad de adquirirlas en hasta 6 cuotas sin interés. La venta general se habilitará el 13 de junio a las 10:00 horas horas para todo público y con cualquier medio de pago.

Con tan solo 21 años, Beéle se ha convertido en una de las voces más frescas y originales de la escena latina. Su primer disco BORONDO superó los 1.000 millones de streams globales, debutó en el #7 del Billboard Top Latin Albums, y llegó al Top 10 de Spotify Global Albums (#9). También logró el #1 en Spotify Colombia, Panamá y República Dominicana, y ocupó el Top 5 en la lista oficial de ventas en España.

Entre los tracks más destacados del disco se encuentran “mi refe ”, convertido en triple platino, y “no tiene sentido”, que ingresó al Top 50 global de Spotify (#32). Además, BORONDO incluye colaboraciones con figuras como Marc Anthony y Carla Morrison, mostrando la amplitud musical y emocional del artista.

Nacido en Barranquilla, Beéle creció rodeado de los sonidos del Caribe colombiano, que hoy fusiona con géneros urbanos y sensibilidad pop para dar forma a una propuesta única. Comenzó a subir sus canciones a plataformas digitales en plena adolescencia, y su distintivo color de voz —grave, suave, con alma de bolero— lo hizo destacar rápidamente. Con apenas 16 años, su tema “Loco” se volvió viral y marcó el inicio de una carrera que no ha dejado de crecer.

La llegada de Beéle a Buenos Aires marca un nuevo capítulo en su trayectoria internacional: un artista en pleno ascenso que encuentra en cada escenario una nueva forma de conectar con sus raíces y con su audiencia.

[renatoferreiradasilva]

Manual de Casting e Design de Produção – Sombras da Liberdade

👨‍🎤 I. Manual de Casting – Princípios e Perfis-Chave

1. Princípios Gerais de Seleção:

Atores com histórico de interpretação contida e profunda, capazes de sugerir conflitos internos sem expositividade

Priorizar diversidade linguística, sotaques reais, traços latinos e rostos marcantes

Evitar "estrelas" genéricas; buscar atores com presença política e simbólica

2. Perfis Centrais:

Miguel Ortega (30–40 anos)

Tipo latino-americano urbano (ex: mexicano, colombiano, brasileiro)

Ator com experiência em papéis densos, morais, silenciosos

Referências visuais: Gael García Bernal jovem, Wagner Moura em Sergio,

Evelyn Hart (60–75 anos)

Tipo anglo-saxão, expressivo, com passado de autoridade

Precisa comunicar culpa e autoridade em uma mesma cena

Referências visuais: Glenn Close, Charlotte Rampling, Fernanda Montenegro (versão americana)

Greg Monroe (60–70 anos)

Tipo anglo-americano, rosto seco, olhar cínico

Postura de poder e distanciamento

Referências visuais: Ed Harris, Michael Shannon envelhecido

Ana Rivera (40 anos)

Latina, guerreira contida, jornalista de rua

Referências visuais: María Fernanda Cárdenas, Alice Braga

Carla Monroe (30–40 anos)

Norte-americana, filha de elite, intelectualmente rebelde

Referências visuais: Rooney Mara, Elizabeth Debicki

🎨 II. Design de Produção – Direção de Arte e Fotografia

1. Estética por Período:

1985 (Guadalajara, NY, CIA)

Estilo: Super 16mm (ou simulação digital com granulação), cores dessaturadas

Texturas: concreto, papel gasto, tecido puídos

Paleta: sépia, cinza, verde-ferrugem

2025 (Washington, Miami, Panama)

Estilo: Digital limpo, camera lenta e foco preciso

Texturas: metal escovado, vidro, LED, concreto estéril

Paleta: azul-petróleo, branco-frio, cromo

2. Espaços-chave:

Sala de tortura (1985): concreto irregular, um ventilador, som de fita girando

Arquivo da CIA: corredores infinitos, papelarias, caixas, luz branca gasta

Trump Tower (anos 80): lobby dourado, espelhos, neón discreto

Porto latino-americano (2025): empilhamento de contêineres, névoa, vigilância

3. Objetos e Documentos:

Dossiê real: envelopes carimbados "TOP SECRET"

Fitas cassete e gravadores portáteis

Tabelas de lavagem de dinheiro com selos de bancos internacionais

Crachá da DEA / CIA da década de 80

4. Câmeras e Lentes:

ARRI Alexa Mini LF (para 2025)

Blackmagic Pocket + LUTs de 16mm (para 1985)

Lentes vintage Zeiss + filtros Pro-Mist para suavizar os tons atuais

5. Moodboard (visuais de referência):

Traffic (2000) – estética cruzada por região

The Report (2019) – fotografia institucional

Z (Costa-Gavras) – narrativas com ritmo documental

Fotografias de Sebastião Salgado e Alex Webb (para cenas latinas)

[marteocarlos]

Mercado de Hamburguesas en Colombia | Informesdeexpertos

Mercado de Hamburguesas en Colombia

El mercado de hamburguesas en Colombia ha tomado una posición destacada en el panorama gastronómico nacional. Alcanzando un valor de aproximadamente USD 898,52 millones en 2024, se espera que el sector mantenga una trayectoria de crecimiento con una tasa compuesta anual (CAGR) del 3,1% entre 2025 y 2034. Para 2034, se estima que el mercado alcance un valor cercano a los USD 1.188,40 millones, impulsado por una combinación de factores sociales, tecnológicos y comerciales.

Tendencias que Están Impulsando el Mercado

Uno de los principales motores del crecimiento del mercado es el aumento del consumo de comida rápida, motivado por estilos de vida más acelerados y el cambio en los hábitos alimentarios de los consumidores. Además, el incremento de la renta disponible, especialmente en zonas urbanas, ha permitido que más colombianos accedan a productos de mayor valor añadido como hamburguesas gourmet o especializadas.

También es importante mencionar la creciente influencia de la cultura occidental en la dieta colombiana. Las hamburguesas, que tradicionalmente eran vistas como una comida informal o de fin de semana, ahora se han convertido en una opción común entre consumidores de distintas edades y clases sociales. Este cambio ha sido reforzado por campañas de marketing, influencers y celebridades que han incursionado en el mundo gastronómico.

Un ejemplo notable es el ingreso de MrBeast Burger al país en noviembre de 2023. Esta cadena, fundada por el famoso YouTuber MrBeast, comenzó a operar en Colombia a través de la app de delivery Rappi, demostrando cómo las nuevas figuras digitales también están participando en la expansión del mercado.

Innovaciones en Empaque y Sostenibilidad

Otro aspecto relevante del mercado de hamburguesas en Colombia es la transición hacia prácticas más sostenibles. Las empresas están optando por materiales de empaque compostables, reciclables y biodegradables. Se utilizan materiales como bambú, pulpa moldeada, caña de azúcar y almidón de maíz, que ayudan a reducir la huella de carbono. Esta transformación responde tanto a exigencias regulatorias como a una creciente conciencia ambiental entre los consumidores.

Tecnología y Comercio Electrónico

El auge de plataformas digitales como Rappi, DiDi Food y las propias apps de cadenas como McDonald’s, ha facilitado el acceso a hamburguesas de manera rápida y cómoda. El uso de tecnologías avanzadas, como algoritmos de inteligencia artificial y aprendizaje automático, permite ofrecer recomendaciones personalizadas y mejorar la experiencia del cliente.

Además, la colaboración entre estas plataformas de entrega y los restaurantes permite ampliar la oferta y llegar a nuevos segmentos de mercado. Este ecosistema digital está cambiando la forma en que los consumidores interactúan con el sector de alimentos y bebidas.

Nuevos Establecimientos y Expansión de Marca

La expansión física del mercado también es visible con la apertura de nuevos establecimientos. En noviembre de 2023, Burger King inauguró una tienda insignia en el Centro Comercial Unicentro de Bogotá, con una oferta variada que incluye hamburguesas BBQ, carne de res y pollo. Esta apertura fue parte de una inversión de aproximadamente USD 4 mil millones, lo que demuestra el compromiso de las grandes marcas con el mercado colombiano.

Principales Empresas en el Mercado Colombiano

El mercado de hamburguesas en Colombia cuenta con una sólida presencia de marcas nacionales e internacionales que compiten por una porción del pastel:

Topping Sandwich & Waffles

Firehouse

The Grill Station

Burger King Corporation

McDonald’s Corporation

El Corral

Otras marcas independientes y locales

Estas empresas no solo buscan aumentar su participación en el mercado, sino también innovar con nuevas recetas, alianzas estratégicas y conceptos de experiencia gastronómica.

Segmentación del Mercado

Por Tipo:

Hamburguesa de Queso

Hamburguesa de Pollo

Hamburguesa de Ternera

Por Aplicación:

Comer en el Restaurante

Comida para Llevar

Estas categorías permiten entender mejor las preferencias del consumidor colombiano, que valora tanto la experiencia presencial como la comodidad del servicio para llevar.

Perspectivas a Futuro

Con proyecciones que apuntan a un crecimiento constante hasta 2034, el mercado de hamburguesas en Colombia continuará evolucionando hacia una oferta más diversificada, tecnológica y sostenible. La competencia entre marcas, tanto establecidas como emergentes, seguirá intensificándose, lo que llevará a una mejora en la calidad del producto y en la experiencia del cliente.

Además, se espera que el sector incorpore cada vez más opciones vegetarianas y veganas, así como hamburguesas a base de plantas, en respuesta a nuevas demandas del consumidor.

¿Quieres conocer más sobre las oportunidades del mercado de hamburguesas en Colombia? Contáctanos para recibir un informe completo con análisis por tipo, aplicación y región, además de información estratégica sobre las principales empresas del sector.

📞 +1 (818) 319-4060 📧 sales@informesdeexpertos.com 🌐 informesdeexpertos.com

[amonerdj]

Nicolás Echavarría, Top-10 en el Masters de Augusta – TDI Colombia

Con una tarjeta de 69 golpes (-3), el golfista colombiano Nicolás Echavarría finalizó la tercera ronda del Masters de Augusta, durante este sábado 12 de abril, y ocupa la posición T10 de la general con 212 impactos, cuatro bajo par (-4). Nuestro representante tuvo una destacada jornada al firmar con ‘birdies’ (golpe menos) el hoyo 2 y 8 (pares -5) junto el 10 y 17 (pares -4). Aunque su buena…

[xlevelpr]

Nicolás Echavarría, Top-10 en el Masters de Augusta – TDI Colombia

Con una tarjeta de 69 golpes (-3), el golfista colombiano Nicolás Echavarría finalizó la tercera ronda del Masters de Augusta, durante este sábado 12 de abril, y ocupa la posición T10 de la general con 212 impactos, cuatro bajo par (-4). Nuestro representante tuvo una destacada jornada al firmar con ‘birdies’ (golpe menos) el hoyo 2 y 8 (pares -5) junto el 10 y 17 (pares -4). Aunque su buena…

[normal-thoughts-official]

Una probadita de tu conchita - Endless Summer fic

Three facts that are true: 1- In México, “concha” is a type of sweet bread covered in a crunchy topping, typically eaten during breakfast. 2- In Colombia, “concha” means pussy. 3- Varyyn is trying to learn Spanish. No problems whatsoever could arise from this.

Estela was a little jealous of how quickly the Vaanti learnt languages. It had only been a few months since Varyyn started learning Spanish and he could already communicate pretty well - sometimes the way he phrased things was a little awkward, but otherwise he had great grammar and perfect pronunciation. Estela was far from having any problems when it came to grasping other languages, but the remarkable ease the Vaanti as a species had was not something she thought any human could match.

It did work out in her favor, though. Because Varyyn was very eager to train Spanish as much as he could, and that meant that she got to speak Spanish when it was just the two or three of them, which was a relief.

Not that she struggled otherwise - her English was perfect, thank you very much. It was simply more comfortable that way. What did Diego tell her Varyyn had called it… “The language of his heart”. Speaking in Spanish made her settle into a conversation in the same way she settled into her own skin. It just felt right.

All of that is to say - even though they weren’t exactly close, she felt very at ease right then, talking to Varyyn in the kitchen as they prepared to make food for Diego. He had spent the week in California, visiting abuela Claudia and having some last-minute meetings that the editors insisted couldn’t be done remotely. He would be back in La Huerta in just a few hours, and Varyyn, the romantic that he was, wanted to welcome him with homemade food.

The problem, of course, was that Varyyn was not even particularly skilled at making Vaanti food, nevermind Mexican food. But since Estela was the only Catalyst at the island by then and she was well used to cooking for herself, she offered to help. Also, she had been to just about every country in Latin America, aiding in a revolution or another; she might not be an expert in Mexican cuisine, but she was probably the best help Varyyn could get.

(Well, except for Raj. And probably Milagros, who seemed to be able to draw infinite knowledge out of thin air. She still wondered how the hell Vaanu created him with the ability to drive a jet ski. But Milagros wasn’t there anymore and Raj was busy with his TV show, so Estela was the best realistic option.)

So in short - Estela was feeling very at ease, very confident in herself, peaceful even, maybe just a little sad, but mostly alright, when she calmly and unsuspectingly asked Varyyn what he was planning on making. A normal and predictable question that would, in an ideal world, lead to a normal and predictable conversation.

But there were few adjectives that applied less to La Huerta than “normal” and “predictable”, so naturally Varyyn responded by scratching his head and saying, “I was wondering if you knew how to make, ah…” he paused for a bit, as if trying to build the sentence in his head, “los Colombianos también tienen conchas?”

Do Colombian men also have pussies?

As Estela’s soul left her body, she contemplated her options. She would have been more than happy to stick with option one - set something on fire and stage an escape - but there was some merit to the idea that she could be mature and normal. She didn’t have many flammable items at her disposal, and it had been a pain for them to build this house for the Catalysts, anyway.

And anyway, apparently someone had to have this conversation with Varyyn, and better her than- actually, she couldn’t think of anyone worse to handle this conversation. Where was Michelle when you needed her? Estela was sure that she would have been able to handle this remarkably.

“No. I mean, yes. Well, some of them,” this was why she let Tío Nicolas handle the whole talking and motivating part of planning revolutions. “It’s not- okay, so did Diego explain to you what ‘trans’ and ‘cis’ mean?” Varyyn nodded, cocking his head curiously. “Okay, great. So, hm, there are trans and cis people all over the world, anywhere. It doesn’t really have anything to do with where they’re from. There are plenty of cis men in México, and plenty of trans men in Colombia. Diego just happens to be trans and Mexican.”

Varyyn looked at her in confusion. “And only trans men have conchas?” he asked, like he couldn’t wrap his head around the concept.

That… Was a question she didn’t see coming. What else did he think being trans was about? Maybe the Vaanti’s gender system has nothing to do with genitals. Maybe their genitals are completely different from those of a human. Maybe Estela doesn’t want to keep pursuing thoughts of Varyyn’s genitals. “Yes, only trans men.”

“I see,” Varyyn said, nodding thoughtfully. Estela was just about to pat herself in the back for how she handled this conversation. And then he added: “so you don’t have a concha, then?”

Why is this happening to me, Estela wondered. She didn’t believe in god or karma or anything like that, but she still believed that she never did anything so bad that she deserved this. Well, except for all the murder. But that was justified. If anything, surely she had already had her lifetime’s fill of psychological torture, what with her mother being killed and the entire summer of 2017. And yet, this was her terrible reality: standing there alone in a kitchen with Varyyn, being asked about her genitals, too shocked to do something like launch herself through the window and roll down the cliff and into the sea - anything but answering him.

“Uhm, that’s not- I mean, uh. Well I guess I, I do. I am a woman and… That is to say, cis women have them too,” she said, eloquently.

“You look red,” Varyyn noted.

“Yes. It’s the blood.”

Varyyn looked alarmed. “Blood? Where?”

“In my. Mind.” Estela shook her head. “Let’s start this over.”

“But you said there was blood!” Varyyn replies, frantically searching Estela for injuries.

“No. Well, I mean, yes. But that’s normal. We all have blood.”

Varyyn looked at Estela. Estela looked at Varyyn back. They both looked at each other.

“Anyway.” She continued, “I was just, uh, a little taken aback by your question. I mean, the Vaanti blush too, don’t they? Seraxa looked very purple during the whole ‘Grandma’ incident a while back. I thought she was on the verge of death or something, but then I remembered that red and blue equals purple,” she was kind of rambling by then, and suddenly she realized that she probably should change the topic of this conversation. “Anyway, we should get to baking. This is gonna take a few hours, and Diego is going to board the plane soon.”

As always, the mention of Diego successfully distracted Varyyn. “Yes. Of course,” he nodded.

For a few seconds, she thought there would be peace. She should’ve known that concept would remain as foreign as ever to her, because right after-

“Have you ever tried Diego’s concha?” Estela wondered if it was too late to convert back to Catholicism and ask god to come to her aid. Why did Varyyn keep coming back to this?

“I’m a lesbian,” she answered, because she really didn’t know how else to reply to this question.

Varyyn nodded, but he also frowned slightly. “I’m aware,” he replied, like that didn’t mean anything.

Estela just looked at him, stunned. Was Varyyn… Transphobic? That didn’t seem to make sense. She knew the Vaanti had a sex binary, of course, but they didn’t seem to particularly care about gender, and Diego had told her many times that it was a relief to see how no one cared about that. But maybe they didn’t care because they saw only sex. Maybe Varyyn still saw him differently.

“Diego is a man,” she said, her voice like steel.

“...Yes.” Varyyn was looking at her like she was fucking stupid, which was pretty unfair, considering he was the one who wasn’t making any sense.

“Lesbians… Are not attracted to men.”

“Diego has informed me of the human titles regarding one’s sexual preferences,” he even had the gall to act like he was confused.

“So why would you think I would do that?”

“Why wouldn’t you?” he shrugged, “Diego’s concha is delicious.”

I am dead and this is hell, she thought. That wasn’t true, of course. She wished she was dead. She wished for many things. She wished she had never learnt the Spanish language. A lifetime of cultural displacement would have been worth it if she didn’t get to experience this. She wished it was socially acceptable to shove her head into the sand to avoid awkward conversations. Actually, thinking about it, she didn’t really know how the Vaanti would see that. Maybe they would be perfectly fine with it. Maybe it was time someone put that to the test.

“You look troubled,” Varyyn observed.

God. How could she even begin to explain this to him? “We just, hm, don’t really talk about stuff like this,” she replied, rubbing the back of her neck, “it’s taboo. You know what taboo means, right?” Estela waited until Varyyn nodded. “Right. So it’s best if you don’t go around telling anyone about conchas, or-” she suddenly realized that she really didn’t want to say ‘verga’ to Varyyn, or in front of Varyyn, or within a hundred mile radius of Varyyn, or possibly to anyone ever, “-anything like that.”

Varyyn's eyes looked very wide. “Oh, really?” He said, his voice a bit too awed and vulnerable for this conversation, “I had no idea. It was the first thing Diego showed me.”

Slutshaming is bad, Estela reminded herself, but she really couldn't help but wonder how Diego managed to meet Varyyn pussy first. His clothes were a little torn when they rescued him but it was nothing that bad. Then again, she wasn't exactly checking for crotch tears.

“How taboo is it? You seem like close friends, so is that… Family only?”

She would assume he was doing this on purpose if it weren't for the absolutely wondrous look on his face. “Uh, you probably won't want to show that to your family either. It's more of an intimate partners thing,” seriously, did the Vaanti just show their junk to anybody? Estela thought she would have probably noticed that. Then again, Diego had a 6 months headstart to take the brunt of the cultural shock. Did he get them to cover their stuff before the rest of them were back? Because if so, Estela had a lot to thank him for. Maybe he would appreciate a fruit basket.

“Truly? Did he… Did he really trust me that much, even back then?”

The look on his face was so awed and sweet, Estela even felt her embarrassment ebbing away. As much as she didn't want to know the details of their sex life, the way this obviously meant a lot to Varyyn tugged at her heartstrings. Cultural shock could be awful sometimes, but the two of them always made it look wonderful.

“Well, I can't really speak for the circumstances, but- yes, I do think so. Especially considering that he's trans.”

Varyyn nodded. “If this is a sign of intimacy, I should see to getting Diego some as soon as possible.”

Why

was this happening to her?

“It's not… I mean, I don't think it's about the concha itself. More… The act,” she was pretty sure she'd never been this red before, “that is to say, I'm sure what you've been giving Diego is just as good.”

Varyyn cocked his head curiously, so, in a desperate attempt to avoid further questions, she made a vague gesture towards him that she hoped would convey that dicks were not lesser lovemaking appendages or… Something. Varyyn frowned, then turned towards the counter behind him, still full of ingredients, and she supposed that was at least enough to distract him, because he looked even more concentrated on finishing Diego's meal. He nodded.

“Well, I can see this subject is bothering you, so we shall speak of it no further,” suddenly, Estela understood, clear as day, why Diego fell in love with this man so fast. “Let's focus on what you're comfortable with instead. What kind of desserts do you usually make in Colombia?”

Bit of a non-sequitur, but okay. Desserts were fine, desserts were safe. Estela could work with that. Desserts certainly couldn’t lead to that kind of awkward conversation.

“Well, there’s a lot. Dulce de brevas, postre de natas, flan de coco, enyucada…” Varyyn nodded politely, but he kept glancing at the table, and suddenly she understood. “But I don’t think those will be very familiar to Diego. I was thinking we could make churros.” Not exactly Mexican per se, but popular enough in… All of Latin America, really, that she knew how to make them.

Besides, she was pretty sure Varyyn could give him raw rice and Diego would still be grateful. Emotional even. He was a big fan of single tears running down cheeks and stuff.

So she showed him the steps, and he only mildly fucked it up (a good portion of the first batch was nearly lost because he gripped the piping bag like he was trying to strangle a tiger), and they continued working on Diego’s meal - chilaquiles with frijoles refritos and huevo estallado, nothing fancy but good and simple enough that they have time to fix any mistakes they (Varyyn) might make.

It actually went smoothly.

Until Diego arrived.

Varyyn immediately dropped the last churro into the hot oil, nearly hitting Estela with the skin-melting droplets, and dashed towards the cabin door. “Diego!” he exclaimed in joy, as if he thought he was dead, or something.

Diego laughed. “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of reuniting with you.”

“Mhm,” Varyyn replied, sounding suspiciously like he had his face buried in Diego’s hair, “your editor meetings are very long.”

“You have no idea,” Diego sighed, finally making his way inside, before a wooshing sound made him yelp. “Oh, you really missed me, huh?”

“It’s not that. Although I did,” Estela could practically hear his smile, “it’s just, I was talking to Estela…”

“Estela?”

She emerged and waved. She did pride herself on her good entrance timing, and the churro had already been removed from the frying oil. “Hey, Guito.”

“Ohh, is that why it smells like food in here?” He grinned. “You know, as opposed to burning charcoal?”

Varyyn smiled slyly. “Estela has been a great help.” Then his face suddenly turned serious, “but that’s not what I wanted to say. Estela told me that conchas were something you only share with an intimate partner. I just… Thank you, Diego, for trusting me so much.” He sounded way too emotional for such a… Well, she'd have to think of qualifiers later, conversation.

Diego flushed in a way that would make Estela feel vindicated if he didn't look so pleased. “I mean… I never really thought of it that way. Is it for weddings in Colombia?”

Was Diego asking her if Colombians save themselves for after marriage? Did he think they were in the Middle Ages or something? “We're notthat old fashioned, Diego, Jesus.”

“Woah, okay, didn't think this was a sore spot,” he said, raising both hands as if Estela was about to put him in a headlock. “It's just not really like that in México? It's pretty casual. A breakfast thing, mostly.”

“A… Breakfast thing?” What in the actual hell was this conversation? Were Mexicans partial to morning sex? And if so, why must she learn about it?

“Yes?” Diego looked puzzled. “Why do you look so shocked? When exactly do Colombians eat conchas?”

“That's- we don't have a set time for it!” God, please, if you're real, smite me now.

God, once again, proved to not be real. “Alright then. Guess I'll avoid serving you conchas in the near future, just to be sure.”

Estela truly prayed that “serving conchas” meant the same thing in México that it did in English, because if not, then what the hell?

Actually, even in that context, what the hell?

“What the hell?”

“What?” Diego asked, looking like he was the one having a conversation that’s completely insane.

“I just, why is everyone so sure that I'd like to eat your-” God, she could feel the red crawling up her face, “just, yours, of all people?”

“Well, now I can't help but be offended. What's wrong with my-”

“Nothing! I mean, I wouldn't know! I don't want to know! You're handfasted to Varyyn anyway, why would you want me to eat your-”

“Again, it's seriously not that big of a deal for us. You can let anyone have your conchas, it's fine-”

“Diego, my love, I feel you're being culturally insensitive. This is clearly important to Colombians, maybe we should just let her be. More for us, anyway. And your other friends, if they're alright with that.”

What. “Are you guys looking for… Threesome partners?” Her voice sounded a bit squeaky.

“No?”

“What's a threesome?”, asked Varyyn.

“Don't worry about it,” the two of them said in worryingly perfect sync.

“Weird thing to proposition out of nowhere, Estela, Jesus. Like, no offense, but we're happy together. Also, I thought you were a lesbian?”

Estela endured years of training to withstand the worst kinds of conditions, which was the only thing keeping her from falling to her knees in agony. “That's what I've been saying!”

“Okay, I can't help but feel like we're having wildly different conversations. What's the deal with conchas in Colombia?”

“There’s no deal-”

“Then why are you being so weird about sweet bread?”

“What?”

“What?”

They stared at each other.

“I believe we are all lost,” Varyyn said solemnly.

“You know, conchas? Sweet bread with crunchy toppings, usually shaped like shells?”

“...Oh,” Estela said, feeling this moment brand itself into her brain to be revisited every time she tried to sleep for the next thousand years. “Oh, god,” she said, crouching and hugging her knees. She didn’t know whether to be relieved or mortified. Varyyn and Diego weren’t asking her to have oral sex with him in the middle of the kitchen. They wanted to make sweet bread.

They were talking about pastries the whole time.

She buried her face in her knees and willed La Huerta to regain its time-messing properties to propel her to the past and keep this from ever happening, but the universe, as ever, didn’t listen. No gods, energies, or saints had ever come to her aid. She had nothing in this world but herself, and it was up to her to deal with this situation.

“Pussy,” she said, miserable.

“...What?” Diego looked like he was going insane.

“Concha,” she said, in English, gritting her teeth and willing herself to withstand the agonizing embarrassment, “means pussy. In Colombia.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Estela agreed.

“Oh, god.”

“Yeah,” Estela agreed.

Diego also slid into the floor and buried his face in his knees. Faint groaning could be heard from his general direction.

“So when Varyyn said he had my concha, you thought he meant-”

“Yeah.”

“And when I said you should try mine, you thought I meant-”

“Yeah.”

“And when-”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, my god.”

“I believe I’m still lost,” Varyyn said. “What’s a pussy?”

“Varyyn, no,” Diego exclaimed, making exact the same face he did when they found Varyyn in the Observatory, “it’s not too late for you. Save yourself.”

“Vagina,” Estela said immediately afterwards. “Pussy is a crass word for vagina.”

“Oh,” Varyyn said, suddenly turning purple. “Oh.”

“Oh,” Diego agreed.

“Oh,” Estela groaned.

They contemplated the truth of those words, each from their spot on the floor.

*

Varyyn eventually cleared his throat. “So, to be clear, there is nothing special about baking someone conchas? You were talking about making love?”

“Try to look less upset, we're literally married.”

“I was feeling very special,” Varyyn smirked.

“Yeah, I bet you were.”

Estela groaned, mostly to remind them that she was still there. The last thing she needed was to end up… witnessing… something again.

*

The world keeps spinning and waits for no one, and humans (and Vaanti) need to eat. So after making the two of them promise to not tell this to anyone else and double checking that Varyyn was not crossing his fingers, they marched to the table like warriors, intent on finishing the day on a positive note.

Estela was surprised to find that the conversation moved smoothly, mostly thanks to Diego’s unwavering talent at running his mouth, and Varyyn’s appreciation of it. As frustrating as editors' meetings were, he was very proud of his book, and the fact that he already knew it would be a bestseller didn’t hurt either. Estela wasn’t exactly familiarized with most of the media he talked about, but when he talked about it, she suddenly understood how magic stories could be. His excitement was contagious, his insights were unique, and the stories filled the room like they once filled his ever-so-lonely heart.

All of that is to say, Estela was feeling fine, recovered even, maybe still a little embarrassed, but mostly alright, when-

“Wait,” Varyyn said. “When you said that what I was giving Diego was just as good, you meant-”

Estela screamed.

[1lil-zupa]

orgulloso de este proceso, logre clasificar entre 157 paises del mundo en categoria footwork ¿sabes que es ?, sin duda alguna se logro dejar la bandera en alto siendo el unico colombiano en quedar en el top 16 de la competencia kardo7

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