#told myself i wasn't gonna yap. and then i yapped 💔

[madecanary]

(  NICHOLAS  GALITZINE  |  CIS  MALE  |  HE  +  HIM  |  TWENTY  -  ONE  )  — — —  it's  just  been  another  long  week  in  boring  -  ass  hawkins.  isn't  that  right,  WILLIAM  BYERS?  shit,  i  guess  they  can't  hear  me  over  WHY  CAN'T  I  TOUCH  IT?  by  BUZZCOCKS  playing  through  the  headphones  of  their  walkman.  it  looks  like  they're  gonna  be  late  for  WORK  as  a  SALES  ASSOCIATE  at  FAMILY  VIDEO.  did  you  know  WILL  has  been  in  hawkins  for  HIS  ENTIRE  LIFE?  yeah,  their  family  and  friends  describe  them  as  GENTLE,  but  i've  seen  them  be  RESERVED  too  !  i  would  also  say  they  remind  me  of  a  wound  in  the  shape  of  a  boy, raw-bitten  lips  as  sweet  as  they  are  sour,  an  intolerable  tenderness  nestled  in  a  center  that  cannot  hold,  splotches  of  ink  littered  haphazardly  across  flushed  skin,  eyes  rife  with  mischief  and  melancholy  in  equal  amounts,  but  is  that  weird  ?  i  guess  nothing's  too  weird  for  this  little  town,  huh  ?  — — —  (  dev,  any,  25,  est  )

usually found trying his best to not visibly judge family video's patrons and their taste in film, doodling on scrap paper, bobbing his head to whichever mix he's listening to now, with his head in a book, getting away with being a little shit in the background, and being soooo normal 😁👍 (lies) prominent traits empathetic, coy, pragmatic, anxious, sweet, sensitive, pixyish, prone to keeping things in & then exploding, self-sacrificing, frank mini anachronistic playlist climbing up the walls (radiohead), i'm just a kid (simple plan), prey (the neighborhood), i wanna be adored (the stone roses), basket case (green day), good feeling (violent femmes), unloveable (the smiths), my love mine all mine (mitski)

bridging the gap

whatever dreams will had of going to college were momentarily completely and totally squandered by The Horrors and Their Consequences. he went through a lot, year after year, and leaving the nest to venture out into the great unknown by himself right after just... wasn't in the cards for him yet. he wasn't quite ready, didn't know how to reconcile what he felt with the life he was living and the one he wanted to live. so, he stuck around.

got a job at family video because if the abysmal reviews in the local paper were anything to go by, then clearly this town was in great need of at least one person with good taste to guide them, and who else could it be but him, your resident movie buff? he's been there for a minute—probably over a year now—and he likes it. he likes it a lot, actually, and probably abuses his employee discounts lmao.

a lot can happen in two years, especially two years of peace, so i'd like to think will continued his self-realization journey he was on in canon and is in a better place than he was. he's in this unique position of simultaneously being both hypervisible (widespread gay rumors & bullying have existed since forever, and his family dropped hints throughout the years lol) and invisible (it doesn't stop girls from barking up the wrong tree; some doubt still exists), and he'd use that to his advantage. it isn't safe to be fully out, but i think... that if you need to know, you'd know. ...you know? so, not out-out, but not making a concerted effort to appear otherwise. you either notice his flags and put two and two together, or you don't. does that make sense? his family absolutely knows, and i do imagine he'd want his chosen family to know and love the real him, too.

considering his unfathomably shitty luck in life, he probably spent most of that first year of peace waiting for the other shoe to drop, and only finally exhaled when november came and went without any issues. still doesn't know what he wants to do with his life (does he go the practical route and do something with computer science? or does he chase after his pipe dream and pursue art?), but he did enroll in some gen ed classes at the local community college with intentions to transfer someday, so that's progress. he still feels so behind, like he should have moved on by now, but baby steps are still steps.

so, y'know. he was living that small town life. getting by, shooting the shit, trying to not shit his pants thinking about The Future. everything was fine! so great, so normal. until. :)))))))) he started not being able to sleep as well as he used to. started feeling anxious, not entirely alone. he thought it was just... him, y'know? he knows he has ptsd, he knows that life isn't always as easy for him as it is for others — he made peace with that. but... he thought he was getting better, that things were finally starting to look up for him. and now this?

he hasn't told anyone. his options are both shitty: either he's so scared of growing up that he's getting bad again (and then he has to be the mentally ill one, ugh!) or it's not just him and they really are in danger (and now they have to fight for their lives again, great!). nightmare scenario no matter what. but it's probably fine. it's just his brain turning his fear of the unknown and unfamiliar into something that he does know and is intimately familiar with. it's — no, yeah. that's probably it. right...?

so, basically, old habits die hard and will has fallen back into the routine of pretending that everything is fine and soooo very normal, unaware that he looks and acts like a prey animal to anyone with eyes. if he has bags under his eyes, no he doesn't. if he's been listening to should i stay or should i go? again, no he hasn't. if he's extra quiet, extra jumpy, and a little more sensitive than usual, well. what happened to minding our own business, huh? 🤨 can't a man be a freak in peace? could someone going through it do this? (cue will giving himself a choppy wolf cut in shitty midnight bathroom lighting). it's literally so fine!!!!!!! (<- lying again)

he may... have to start opening up a little bit, though, given the latest murders. maybe. but only if you promise to not get mad... 🙄👉👈

extra tidbits

it's very important to me that will has a little gay hoop earring that someone gave him at like three am during a sleepover on a random whim. sometimes he wants to buy a pearl and serve full on girl with a pearl earring realness, but he also doesn't want to get hatecrimed, so. little innocuous hoop it is 💛

joining the war on smoking on the side of smoking by following in s1's historical accuracy footsteps and making will an occasional smoker. and yes, he does still bum cigarettes knowing full well he has a pack of his own on him (we love a scammer) + it's been a lil bit more than occasional ever since the return of The Horrors :(

i'll still be writing will as a sweetheart of course, but bitchy will is so near and dear to me. his season three WHO CARESSSSSS 🙄 & cracking up at the boys getting dumped & you weren't with her? 🤨😒 & general #imwithher vibes and season four sighing and rolling his eyes and calling others out etc mean Everything to me. get their ass, william!!! sigh and bitch and moan and complain, as is your right!!!

will had that hair you see in the second gif, but he cut it recently and now it looks like the first and third gif. is this because i'm indecisive? perhaps....

he still loves dnd + still the same old geek + still loves [video] games + please hang out with him he wants to hang out can he come over to hang out or do you want to come over to hang out when are y'all gonna hang out bc he just told me he wants to hang out. btw