#told me i'm such a pretty young lady and i just need to lose weight/get a boyfriend to fuck the sadness away and i'll be all fine

[robinsnest2111]

hmm still unhappy about not knowing if my symptoms are because of autism (there are way too many autism things I relate to) OR the result of many years of childhood emotional neglect and other unlucky circumstances

BECAUSE APPARENTLY BOTH CAN PRESENT IN SUPER SIMILAR WAYS????

[weirdfanfic]

Guardian of an Earl 4

What's an Oni?

 Step by Step a dance a hand on the hilt of my sword as I stare down at a monster Its Golden eyes stared down at me, its grey skin stained by the blood of his new victim. "What a cute little dance you think a little dance will keep me from eating you?" He flung towards me, dodging his attack with ease as I was a bit smaller, the creature seem to be 7'1 feet in height, unfortunately, its additional limbs were able to catch me at the second attack holding my arms tight so I won't be able to escape. "We don't want to hurt your pretty face, didn't your parents teach you not to play with knives." With a huge grin, he tighten his grip I could feel my bones being crushed under this monster. I had to do something or I'll lose everything, I have to break free. Lifting up my leg kicking to his stomach losing his grip and gasping for air giving me the opportunity to move further away from him. "You little bitch!" 

I hurried to my feet and unsheath my sword, holding it tightly and steadying my breathing. This monster only stares at my sword laughing  "You really think you can kill me with that tiny thing  is like a toothpick to me." I took a deep breath and took a stand, lashing his claws at me, using my sword to block it inches close to my face. This thing this monster was strong it felt like I was holding back a bear but I didn't want to give up that easily unfortunately if I continue I will surely die from it. I need to get away from him. I need to fight him long range but I didn't bring my pistol not believing I'll fight this THING. But now I need to get to distract him so I can make my escape. Holding on to my sword I change my footing to slide my sword cutting his fingertips through, running out of the ally way almost getting caught this thing was fast. I kept running as fast as I could until my throat start to burn and I took a long breath but it was still behind me. "Sound Breathing First Form Roar" A scream came behind me with heavy winds pushing me to the ground. I lift myself up from the gravel road and turn myself to see what happens behind me as a tall figure attacked the monster.  "Come at me demon I'm not scared of you." A young man raises a dual weapon with a small scythe chained with some ball weights at the end, he glances over his shoulder looking at me as if I just ruined his entrance. "Listen lady get out of here is dangerous I'll give you some time," he said gesturing for me to leave only to be stopped by being thrown by the demon breaking a street lamp with his body. Hurrying to grab my sword starring down the pale demon as my heart races as his terrible laugh at me yet again "We had this conversation before and we both know how this end so make this easy for both of us and just give up like a good little girl." tightening my grip around the handle running towards the demon slashing his hands through with my sword and stabbing it through the throat feeling a hand grabbing me by the throat lifting to his cold dead eyes. How?! I chopped off his hands, did they grow back?!

It kept staring into my eyes as I struggle to be set free from his tight grasp "I told you, little girl, you can't hurt me, you're too weak." I let a noise sound like I was trying to form a sentence "I know I was only the distraction" I grinned as a pair of scythes cut through his neck and let me fall to the ground gasping for air laying on my back staring at the dark cloudy sky as the strange man walked towards me with a serious look staring down at me making me laugh. With all that happen all I could do was laugh with a scratchy voice and all. "This is a serious matter and you are laughing my mentor would love to meet you. Come on stand up you're making your injuries worse if you lie down to follow my breathing it will slow the internal injuries." He made me sit up and make sure I copy his breathing for a couple of minutes and take me to a small hotel where the young man was by my side. "If your gonna keep me company, I like to know who you are." I stare at the young man that look around my age who saved my life as I could finally take a look at him. His feminine facial features with his thick long red hair tied up in an attempt of a  neat ponytail and his dark grey eyes examining my wound if it wasn't for his voice I would believe he was a young lady, "My name is Yukio I am a Demon Slayer from Japan I was sent here because there was evidence of one of the most Upper moon demons trying to hide here in England so I and my mentor was sent here to investigate." He said directly without hiding the fact of what he was doing in England. "Wait you're saying that thing was a demon it's not the demons I read in books," I said staring as he disinfected my wounds and wrapped them up. "Well, they are not exactly demons we call them Oni's to be specific, demon is an English word that is easy to describe them. I was lucky to learn English at a young age so another reason they send me here. "  finishing up with my bandaging and putting the medical things away as the door opened with a voice boom in the room it was a very muscular man with the same uniform as Yukio but with the sleeves cut off with giant dual blades on his back, white hair and dark pink eyes with a wide grin.  Yukio responded to him and gestured toward me speaking in his native language I believe talking about what happened tonight without warning jumped towards me with a big smile and said something I didn't understand. "This is my Mentor Uzui Tengen I just told him of our situation and he said it was a risky move but liked your bravery saying is Flashy but you he, not a fan of your clothing though." Is true I wasn't wearing anything fancy to go fight I was still in my present clothes but Tengen had an eye for fashion I could see he was a flamboyant man by the way he show himself. "Is nice to meet you sir Uzui your student is an amazing fighter." I give him a sweet smile with Yukio translated. Tengen only nodded and suddenly got serious telling something to Yukio. "Well you're all patched up so you are able to leave your family must be worried about you." I notice that they wanted to talk business with each other so I understand but I also want to know more about these Oni I need to get a way for them to see me again. "Why don't you come over to my mansion for the afternoon I would like to show your mentor how I really dress." inviting is the best plan at the moment only for Yukio to stare at me and then talk to Tengen from a thumbs up from for an agreement to comes to see me tomorrow.

(A/N: Sorry for another short one but having a hectic time by my side sorry.)

[cinni-k]

Feel free to rant about what's wrong with Dig 1! It's a small and relatively old game, so a lot of things can be forgiven for the charm of it, but yeah. It's definitely flawed.

As a smaller thing that's definitely just a situation of the game showing its age is that sometimes it's just like. A little bit misogynistic? Like not enough to be actively painful but it's so fucking weird when it's just robots. Like there's two women in the entire game and they're designated as women through having tits and for some reason misogyny and gender expectations are a thing because Dorothy gets told working in the mines is unfitting for a young lady? It's weird and I'm. So glad they stopped.

But honestly the game is just. Underdone. And I know it's because the game had to be released earlier or risk bankruptcy and because of that (and Dig 2 fixing basically all of my problems) I'm more willing to forgive it but it's very obvious the game didn't have enough time to be properly tested.

The controls are constantly just slightly awkward in such a way that so many things feel more challenging than they should be, as there's not "coyote jumping" (being able to step slightly off a ledge and still jump), awkward momentum, and no real sense of weight. Needing to switch through upgrades can also just be a mild inconvenience every time you're trying to do something specific in a fight with enemies.

The Steam Punch is obtained much later than it should be when it's so difficult to hit things two tiles away from you and you can't attack and jump in any situation. There's a finite number of resources but you lose half your money every time you die, but you also have to pay for healing, which makes it very easy to get caught in death loops. The positioning of resources is randomized and if you're unlucky you just won't get any you need (it's extremely unlikely but it happened to me my first fucking playthrough so I'm. A little bitter)

Also the story is disappointing because it's a really cool concept but it's also a very personal and character-driven one that just. Lacks the depth needed to be well executed. Rusty as a character is undeveloped to the degree that it feels like the devs weren't sure if they wanted him to be a self-insert or an independent character, so they wound up with a compromised version of either concept. Because of this we also don't have any sense of what Joe was like before he started becoming ill because the only thing we really know is that he thought him and Rusty were "so alike" but not in a way that Rusty understood, so while I think I have the main understanding that the main difference is Rusty's sense of "heart", I don't get a sense of what that means during Dig 1 (Dig 2 gives me the sense that this primarily refers to a willingness to protect others, even to his own detriment. But not letting yourself get assimilated into a hivemind that wants to destroy everything you know and love is a pretty normal thing to do I think so in the end I learn more about Joe in that situation than Rusty)

[timeless-hollywood-classics]

Gene Eliza Tierney (November 19, 1920 – November 6, 1991) was an American film and stage actress. Acclaimed as a great beauty, she became established as a leading lady. Tierney was best known for her portrayal of the title character in the film Laura (1944), and was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actress for her performance as Ellen Berent Harland in Leave Her to Heaven (1945).

Tierney's other roles include Martha Strable Van Cleve in Heaven Can Wait (1943), Isabel Bradley Maturin in The Razor's Edge (1946), Lucy Muir in The Ghost and Mrs. Muir (1947), Ann Sutton in Whirlpool (1949), Maggie Carleton McNulty in The Mating Season (1951), and Anne Scott in The Left Hand of God (1955).

I Gene Eliza Tierney was born on November 19, 1920 in Brooklyn, New York, the daughter of Howard Sherwood Tierney and Belle Lavinia Taylor. She was named after a beloved uncle, who died young.[4][page needed] She had an elder brother, Howard Sherwood "Butch" Tierney Jr., and a younger sister, Patricia "Pat" Tierney. Their father was a successful insurance broker of Irish descent, their mother a former physical education instructor.[4][page needed]

Tierney was raised in Westport, Connecticut. She attended St. Margaret's School in Waterbury, Connecticut, and the Unquowa School in Fairfield. She published her first poem, entitled "Night", in the school magazine and wrote poetry occasionally throughout her life. Tierney played Jo in a student production of Little Women, based on the novel by Louisa May Alcott.

Tierney spent two years in Europe, attending Brillantmont International School in Lausanne, Switzerland, where she learned to speak fluent French. She returned to the US in 1938 and attended Miss Porter's School in Farmington, Connecticut. On a family trip to the West Coast, she visited Warner Bros. studios, where a cousin worked as a producer of historical short films. Director Anatole Litvak, taken by the 17-year-old's beauty, told Tierney that she should become an actress. Warner Bros. wanted to sign her to a contract, but her parents advised against it because of the relatively low salary; they also wanted her to take her position in society.

Tierney's society debut occurred on September 24, 1938, when she was 17 years old. page needed] Soon bored with society life, she decided to pursue an acting career. Her father said, "If Gene is to be an actress, it should be in the legitimate theatre." Tierney studied acting at a small Greenwich Village acting studio in New York with Yiddish and Broadway actor/director Benno Schneider. She became a protégée of Broadway producer-director George Abbott.

In Tierney's first role on Broadway, she carried a bucket of water across the stage in What a Life! (1938). A Variety magazine critic declared, "Miss Tierney is certainly the most beautiful water carrier I've ever seen!" She also worked as an understudy in The Primrose Path (1938).

The following year, she appeared in the role of Molly O'Day in the Broadway production Mrs. O'Brien Entertains (1939). The New York Times critic Brooks Atkinson wrote, "As an Irish maiden fresh from the old country, Gene Tierney in her first stage performance is very pretty and refreshingly modest." That same year, Tierney appeared as Peggy Carr in Ring Two (1939) to favorable reviews. Theater critic Richard Watts Jr. of the New York Herald Tribune wrote, "I see no reason why Miss Tierney should not have an interesting theatrical career – that is, if cinema does not kidnap her away."

Tierney's father set up a corporation, Belle-Tier, to fund and promote her acting career. Columbia Pictures signed her to a six-month contract in 1939. She met Howard Hughes, who tried unsuccessfully to seduce her. From a well-to-do family herself, she was not impressed by his wealth. Hughes eventually became a lifelong friend.

After a cameraman advised Tierney to lose a little weight, she wrote to Harper's Bazaar magazine for a diet, which she followed for the next 25 years. Tierney was initially offered the lead role in National Velvet, but production was delayed. page needed] When Columbia Pictures failed to find Tierney a project, she returned to Broadway and starred as Patricia Stanley to critical and commercial success in The Male Animal (1940). In The New York Times, Brooks Atkinson wrote, "Tierney blazes with animation in the best performance she has yet given". She was the toast of Broadway before her 20th birthday. The Male Animal was a hit, and Tierney was featured in Life magazine. She was also photographed by Harper's Bazaar, Vogue, and Collier's Weekly.

Two weeks after The Male Animal opened, Darryl F. Zanuck, the head of 20th Century Fox, was rumored to have been in the audience. During the performance, he told an assistant to note Tierney's name. Later that night, Zanuck dropped by the Stork Club, where he saw a young lady on the dance floor. He told his assistant, "Forget the girl from the play. See if you can sign that one." It was Tierney. At first, Zanuck did not think she was the actress he had seen. Tierney was quoted (after the fact), saying: "I always had several different 'looks', a quality that proved useful in my career."

Tierney signed with 20th Century-Fox[4][page needed] and her motion picture debut was in a supporting role as Eleanor Stone in Fritz Lang's western The Return of Frank James (1940), opposite Henry Fonda.

A small role as Barbara Hall followed in Hudson's Bay (1941) with Paul Muni and she co-starred as Ellie Mae Lester in John Ford's comedy Tobacco Road (also 1941), and played the title role in Belle Starr alongside co-star Randolph Scott, Zia in Sundown, and Victoria Charteris (Poppy Smith) in The Shanghai Gesture. She played Eve in Son of Fury: The Story of Benjamin Blake (1942), as well as the dual role of Susan Miller (Linda Worthington) in Rouben Mamoulian's screwball comedy Rings on Her Fingers, and roles as Kay Saunders in Thunder Birds, and Miss Young in China Girl (all 1942).

Receiving top billing in Ernst Lubitsch's comedy Heaven Can Wait (1943), as Martha Strable Van Cleve, signaled an upward turn in Tierney's career. Tierney recalled during the production of Heaven Can Wait:

Lubitsch was a tyrant on the set, the most demanding of directors. After one scene, which took from noon until five to get, I was almost in tears from listening to Lubitsch shout at me. The next day I sought him out, looked him in the eye, and said, 'Mr. Lubitsch, I'm willing to do my best but I just can't go on working on this picture if you're going to keep shouting at me.' 'I'm paid to shout at you', he bellowed. 'Yes', I said, 'and I'm paid to take it ��� but not enough.' After a tense pause, Lubitsch broke out laughing. From then on we got along famously.

Tierney starred in what became her best-remembered role: the title role in Otto Preminger's film noir Laura (1944), opposite Dana Andrews. After playing Tina Tomasino in A Bell for Adano (1945), she played the jealous, narcissistic femme fatale Ellen Berent Harland in Leave Her to Heaven (1945), adapted from a best selling novel by Ben Ames Williams. Appearing with Cornel Wilde, Tierney won an Academy Award nomination for Best Actress. This was 20th Century-Fox' most successful film of the 1940s. It was cited by director Martin Scorsese as one of his favorite films of all time, and he assessed Tierney as one of the most underrated actresses of the Golden Era.

Tierney then starred as Miranda Wells in Dragonwyck (1946), along with Walter Huston and Vincent Price. It was Joseph L. Mankiewicz' debut film as a director, In the same period, she starred as Isabel Bradley, opposite Tyrone Power, in The Razor's Edge (also 1946), an adaptation of W. Somerset Maugham's novel of the same name. Her performance was critically praised.

Tierney played Lucy Muir in Mankiewicz's The Ghost and Mrs. Muir (1947), opposite Rex Harrison. The following year, she co-starred again with Power, this time as Sara Farley in the successful screwball comedy That Wonderful Urge (1948). As the decade came to a close, Tierney reunited with Laura director Preminger to star as Ann Sutton in the classic film noir Whirlpool (1949), co-starring Richard Conte and José Ferrer. She appeared in two other film noirs: Jules Dassin's Night and the City, shot in London, and Otto Preminger's Where the Sidewalk Ends (both 1950), reunited with both Preminger and leading man Dana Andrews, who she appeared with in five movies total.

Tierney was loaned to Paramount Pictures, giving a comic turn as Maggie Carleton in Mitchell Leisen's ensemble farce, The Mating Season (1951), with John Lund, Thelma Ritter, and Miriam Hopkins. She gave a tender performance as Midge Sheridan in the Warner Bros. film, Close to My Heart (1951), with Ray Milland. The film is about a couple trying to adopt a child. Later in her career, she was reunited with Milland in Daughter of the Mind (1969).

After Tierney appeared opposite Rory Calhoun as Teresa in Way of a Gaucho (1952), her contract at 20th Century-Fox expired. That same year, she starred as Dorothy Bradford in Plymouth Adventure, opposite Spencer Tracy at MGM. She and Tracy had a brief affair during this time.[10] Tierney played Marya Lamarkina opposite Clark Gable in Never Let Me Go (1953), filmed in England.

In the course of the 1940s, she reached a pinnacle of fame as a beautiful leading lady, on a par with "fellow sirens Rita Hayworth, Lana Turner and Ava Gardner". She was "called the most beautiful woman in movie history" and many of her movies in the 1940s became classic films.

Tierney remained in Europe to play Kay Barlow in United Artists' Personal Affair (1953). While in Europe, she began a romance with Prince Aly Khan, but their marriage plans met with fierce opposition from his father Aga Khan III. Early in 1953, Tierney returned to the U.S. to co-star in the film noir Black Widow (1954) as Iris Denver, with Ginger Rogers and Van Heflin.

Tierney had reportedly started smoking after a screening of her first movie to lower her voice, because she felt, "I sound like an angry Minnie Mouse." She subsequently became a heavy smoker.

With difficult events in her personal life, Tierney struggled for years with episodes of manic depression. In 1943, she gave birth to a daughter, Daria, who was deaf and mentally disabled, the result of a fan breaking a rubella quarantine and infecting the pregnant Tierney while she volunteered at the Hollywood Canteen. In 1953, she suffered problems with concentration, which affected her film appearances. She dropped out of Mogambo and was replaced by Grace Kelly.[4][page needed] While playing Anne Scott in The Left Hand of God (1955), opposite Humphrey Bogart, Tierney became ill. Bogart's sister Frances (known as Pat) had suffered from mental illness, so he showed Tierney great sympathy, feeding her lines during the production and encouraging her to seek help.

Tierney consulted a psychiatrist and was admitted to Harkness Pavilion in New York. Later, she went to the Institute of Living in Hartford, Connecticut. After some 27 shock treatments, intended to alleviate severe depression, Tierney fled the facility, but was caught and returned. She later became an outspoken opponent of shock treatment therapy, claiming it had destroyed significant portions of her memory.

In late December 1957, Tierney, from her mother's apartment in Manhattan, stepped onto a ledge 14 stories above ground and remained for about 20 minutes in what was considered a suicide attempt. Police were called, and afterwards Tierney's family arranged for her to be admitted to the Menninger Clinic in Topeka, Kansas. The following year, after treatment for depression, she was discharged. Afterwards, she worked as a sales girl in a local dress shop with hopes of integrating back into society, but she was recognized by a customer, resulting in sensational newspaper headlines.

Later in 1958, 20th Century-Fox offered Tierney a lead role in Holiday for Lovers (1959), but the stress upon her proved too great, so only days into production, she dropped out of the film and returned to Menninger for a time.

Tierney made a screen comeback in Advise and Consent (1962), co-starring with Franchot Tone and reuniting with director Otto Preminger.[4][page needed] Soon afterwards, she played Albertine Prine in Toys in the Attic (1963), based on the play by Lillian Hellman. This was followed by the international production of Las cuatro noches de la luna llena, (Four Nights of the Full Moon - 1963), in which she starred with Dan Dailey. She received critical praise overall for her performances.

Tierney's career as a solid character actress seemed to be back on track as she played Jane Barton in The Pleasure Seekers (1964), but then she suddenly retired. She returned to star in the television movie Daughter of the Mind (1969) with Don Murray and Ray Milland. Her final performance was in the TV miniseries Scruples (1980).

Tierney married two men: the first was Oleg Cassini, a costume and fashion designer, on June 1, 1941, with whom she eloped. She was 20 years old. Her parents opposed the marriage, as he was from a Russian-Italian family and born in France. She had two daughters, Antoinette Daria Cassini (October 15, 1943 – September 11, 2010) and Christina "Tina" Cassini (November 19, 1948 – March 31, 2015).

In June 1943, while pregnant with Daria, Tierney contracted rubella (German measles), likely from a fan ill with the disease. Antoinette Daria Cassini was born prematurely in Washington, DC, weighing three pounds, two ounces (1.42 kg) and requiring a total blood transfusion. The rubella caused congenital damage: Daria was deaf, partially blind with cataracts, and severely mentally disabled. She was institutionalized for much of her life. This entire incident was inspiration for a plot point in the 1962 Agatha Christie novel The Mirror Crack'd from Side to Side.

It is claimed that she had an affair with Mohammad Reza Shah of Iran during the late 1940s.

Tierney's friend Howard Hughes paid for Daria's medical expenses, ensuring the girl received the best care. Tierney never forgot his acts of kindness. Daria Cassini died in 2010, at the age of 66.

Tierney and Cassini separated October 20, 1946, and entered into a property settlement agreement on November 10. Periodicals during this period record Tierney with Charles K. Feldman, including articles related to her "twosoming" with Feldman, her "current best beau". The divorce was to be finalized in March 1948, but they reconciled before then.

During their separation, Tierney met John F. Kennedy, a young World War II veteran, who was visiting the set of Dragonwyck in 1946. They began a romance that she ended the following year after Kennedy told her he could never marry her because of his political ambitions. In 1960, Tierney sent Kennedy a note of congratulations on his victory in the presidential election. During this time, newspapers documented Tierney's other romantic relationships, including Kirk Douglas.

While filming for Personal Affair in Europe, she began a romance with Prince Aly Khan. They became engaged in 1952, while Khan was going through a divorce from Rita Hayworth. Their marriage plans, however, met with fierce opposition from his father, Aga Khan III.

Cassini later bequeathed $500,000 in trust to Daria and $1,000,000 to Christina. Cassini and Tierney remained friends until her death in November 1991.

In 1958, Tierney met Texas oil baron W. Howard Lee, who had been married to actress Hedy Lamarr since 1953. Lee and Lamarr divorced in 1960 after a long battle over alimony, then Lee and Tierney married in Aspen, Colorado, on July 11, 1960. They lived quietly in Houston, Texas, and Delray Beach, Florida until his death in 1981.

Despite her self-imposed exile in Texas, Tierney received work offers from Hollywood, prompting her to a comeback. She appeared in a November 1960 broadcast of General Electric Theater, during which time she discovered that she was pregnant. Shortly after, 20th Century Fox announced Tierney would play the lead role in Return to Peyton Place, but she withdrew from the production after suffering a miscarriage.

Tierney's autobiography, Self-Portrait, in which she candidly discusses her life, career, and mental illness, was published in 1979.

Tierney's second husband, W. Howard Lee, died on February 17, 1981 after a long illness.[24]

In 1986, Tierney was honored alongside actor Gregory Peck with the first Donostia Lifetime Achievement Award at the San Sebastian Film Festival in Spain.

Tierney has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame at 6125 Hollywood Boulevard.

Tierney died of emphysema on November 6, 1991, in Houston, thirteen days before her 71st birthday. She is interred in Glenwood Cemetery in Houston.

Certain documents of Tierney's film-related material, personal papers, letters, etc., are held in the Wesleyan University Cinema Archives, though her papers are closed to the public.

[jennsmischievousmind]

A perfect fit (part 3)

Summary : James Buchanan Barnes stumbles upon you, a lady that got him wrapped around her finger.

Warning/s: smut. If you’re under 18 please don’t read this.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader; Steve Rogers x reader (platonic)

Words: 2,836

Tags : @rodkrake @kaffekanden @namiiswan @destielinamoose @slender--spirit

A/N : English is not my native language … yeah coz writing smut in french sucks sometimes so excuse my rough english.

In the idea that Bucky and Steve came back to Brooklyn after the war and never went near a freaking train. It’s a pretty long one so I’ll do parts.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Oliver forced you to take the day off. You went home with Bucky, for your last night together, he worshiped you even more than usual, it was all you. He ran a bath for you two to enjoy, between his kisses on your shoulder bones you told him.

”I hate that you’re leaving.” he stopped, his embrace tightened.  

“Then I'm going to do something you will adore..” he whispered.

”Stay?” You said sheepishly, you knew he won’t, but you had to try. He softly chuckled against your neck before gliding his fingers between your breasts, your chest rising under his touch.   

His strong arms draping over your shoulders, hands grazing your tummy to your pubic bone, his left hand found your nipples brushing against each of them, wet with water and bubbles, he admired your breasts glistening. Your hands reached his hair, your head turning to him you captured his lips in a sweet kiss, hand curling around his neck.

His hands skimmed down your wet body, parting your legs, caressing each of your thighs down your core, his fingers sliding swiftly from your entrance to your clit. Your mouth hung open when he pushed two finger deep within you, gently curling them, going back and forth at an unbearable slow rhythm, increasing your pleasure until his thumb lightly touched your bundle of nerves, you jolted splashing water outside the bathtub. He muffled a chuckle in your neck, your low tummy tightening at his deep voice resonated.

“You feel amazing Y/N!” a moaned escaped your mouth, your core clenching around his fingers, then he bit on your lobe and that was it, your trigger, your orgasm washed over you, your body shaking in spasms of utter pleasure. Shutting your eyes closed you leant back into his warmth, his hands roaming your body, he hugged you close.

You made love all night, you just couldn’t stop enjoying each other’s body, scent, touch, the fear of losing one another had you both stay awake until dawn, you had talked, sobbed and drowsed for about an hour.

The morning came, you woke up before him and watched him sleep, your heart sinking even more at the idea of letting him go. His eyes fluttered open, he smiled feeling your hand caressed every featured of his face, your thumb grazing his lips, he caught it between his teeth, you smiled then his arms snaked around your waist he pulled you to his warm chest where you snuggled.

Feeling his lips on your neck, you sighed at the sensation, he nibbled on your ear lobe, you squirmed under him. He hovered over you while his left hand brushed your folds arching your back at his delicate touch.

“Bucky!” you whimpered. He caught your lips in a passionate kiss, biting and sucking at its lower part. 

You wanted to feel him deep inside you once again. You reached for his cock, he was already so hard, his forehead on yours he watched as you pulled long, slow strokes. His eyes fluttering close, growling. He closed his fist around yours, squeezing a bit tighter then you both guide his throbbing cock to your wet folds, clutching his balls as he buried himself deep inside. He released a moaned as you do, his large cock stretching you for the 5th times since last night. Hands scratching his back, his head resting into your neck, his groans reaching deep inside you. You suddenly flipped him over, he tried to seat up but you pushed him a cocky smile on your face, he surrendered.

Trailing hot kisses along his hot body, from his sharp jaw line by his collarbones to his nipples, to his tones abs. Your breasts framing his twitching cock, you pressed your bosoms together while kissing his abs, moving up and down slowly. Bucky grabbed the sheets, the sensation of his hard member between your breasts and the look on his face were fascinating. You pecked the head of his cock, he moaned swearing under his breath at the thrill it gave him. 

“Y/N!” he whined, you licked a long stride from the base before wrapping your mouth around the tip and sucking him gently, your tongue swirling around his thick cock. You relaxed your throat as much as you could, and took him all the way in, you endured the burning sensation as you saw Bucky’s shocked but mesmerized intense gaze on your action. You released his shaft with a little pop, suddenly he caught the back of your neck with his right hand before you could take him in again, crashing his lips on yours, tongues fighting. 

“Doll, you’re stunning!” he breathed against your sore lips. 

“I’m not done with you Sergeant!” he growled at the nickname, you straddled him, your back was facing him, he immediately grabbed your rear as you slipped on his cock with a slam, wailing at the process. You moved your hips in circle, bouncing on his shaft you felt his large hand spanked your ass hard, the slap made the muscles at your centre tightened resulting in you moaning aloud. 

“Would you do that again!” you asked him breathlessly, he complied, your head leaned backward as he did so, he took the opportunity to bring your body to his and pounded into you, while his hands roamed your body, fondling your boobs and biting your neck. 

“Bucky, I..” you cried out, feeling the tremendous bliss enveloped you  “Come with me!” he grunted. You both came undone in a messy cry out.

He put the cover on your bare bodies, he went on top of you leaning on his elbows, you looked deeply into his bright blue eyes, feeling is sincerity, love, sadness, lust and dedication. You wrapped your arms around his neck and hugged him like your life depended on it, the weight of his body on yours was nothing as you wanted him as close as possible.

.

Watching him dressing up from your bed, laid on your stomach, swinging your bare legs, outrageously naked, Bucky had trouble not looking at you. When he put his tie around his neck, he glanced at you. Chuckling you rolled on the edge of the bed and stood up totally naked and tiptoed to him.

“Get over here, Sarge” you ordered, he hesitantly took a long stride forward.

He inhaled loudly, seeing your bare bosoms pressing against his uniform, the cold buttons making them perky. You tie the necktie just like the first time you've flirted with him, making sure to take your time. Finally he took his cap, putting it on, you tilt your head looking at him then grabbed the cap, wearing it askew you then pulled on his tie, locking your lips with his. 

He couldn't resist anymore and grabbed your bare butt, squeezing it. 

“Gosh doll! You're amazing! he sighed between two sloppy kiss, I’m gonna miss you Y/N” You jumped wrapping your legs around his waist.

“You better come back Bucky Barnes!” He hugged you close, caressing one last time your soft body, his fingers grazing the small of your back, making you shivered.

“Promise.” He answered. You swept a tear before he could see it. With a final passionate kiss, holding you until he was on the doorway, and he was gone.

You plopped down on your bed, covering yourself with the sheet, the tears flowed from your eyes inevitably unable to control your feelings anymore, you cowered on yourself for a few hours, falling asleep in the fetal position.

You woke up at Oliver voice at your door. He let himself in, “Oh Y/N, he said softly, seeing the state you were in, you have to get up Boss.” 

He had seen Bucky leave when he arrived at the store, he had found it judicious to leave you alone a little before coming in.

Reluctantly you left your bed heading to the shower where you cried again. Oliver had made the breakfast, you entered the kitchen wearing your bathrobe, he caught you by the shoulders leading you to the chair, you were easy to manipulate for once, the face down but still adorning an after-sex glow that your skin couldn’t deny. 

”Here, have some!” putting a mug of coffee in front of you. You stayed both silents a few minutes, facing each other at the kitchen table. 

“Aaah I wish this war won’t take long, so I can find myself a young man and that yours come back!” Oliver dreamed out loud sighing, you inevitably smile as he recount one of his many adventure with young lads.   

.

The days went on, his absence was still unbearable even though he wrote you as much as he could. In your letters you would detailed what you wanted to do to him, and what you wanted him to do to you, some kinky stuff you’d never thought you would like to try before. You did not care a tad that someone could read the letters before him. 

He would answer that he was desperate to touch your soft skin, to lost himself into you while your fingers would be through his hair on his scalp and then run them all the way down his neck. To have his face deep between your legs while his hands would fondle your perfect breasts. Even by only reading his letters you could get off!  

It was really enjoyable and reassuring until the letters stopped, you became so worried that you focused on work to not mope around. Oliver became worried when instead of eating you would take appointments over appointments, he’d forced you upstairs to eat or he would bring the dinner down the fitting room. And he’d argued with you. You were a pain in the arse! 

“Boss! Y/N!, he snatched the pen from your hand, you have to eat! First because I need you to be healthy and second do you think James would be happy to come back to a woman in poor health!”  

You looked up at him, he wasn’t wrong but since Bucky’s letters had stop, well you stopped hoping he’d come back to you.

Oliver continued “Girl when he’ll get here you’ll have to be healthy as hell ‘coz he won’t let you sleep for a while!”

You couldn’t help but laugh, a few tears escaping your eyes. After all Oliver was a contagious optimist. You ate this day and all the others, you had to take care of yourself anyway. 

One day you were at the front desk and someone that you were not expecting pushed the door ringing the bell. 

“Hey stranger!” You scolded the oh so famous Peggy Carter as she entered your shop.

“Hi Y/N, forgive me I've been MIA, busy days in the army, you know.” she nonchalantly salute you.

“Actually I don't. You know what I think about guns.” you stayed both silent for a few seconds before smiling and hugging your best friend.

“At least write me once a month, so I know you're alive!” you said, scoffing.

Then you look behind her, your arms falling to your sides, eyes wide and mouth agape.

“Oh yes, He is why I am here, his name is..” Peggy started gesturing at the strong guy trying to hide behind her.

“Steve?” you asked the tall blond man in front of you.

“Uhm Hi Y/N..” he scratched the back of his neck not looking at you in the eyes.

You approached him, studying his new aspect. Then suddenly “What have you done!” you hit him in the chest, hurting yourself more than him. No wonder you haven’t seen him this past few days!

“Y/N I'll explain, promise, raising his hands in defense, you know I have to help.” 

You look at his new features, still feeling like you were talking to a total stranger. But the look in his eyes was still the same you saw in this dark alley about a year ago, full of determination and kindness.

“You won't need me to kick butts for you anymore.” You crossed your arms and he chuckled.

You explained how you knew each other and Peggy explained what was the plan for Steve, you frowned at the idea, but Steve told you it was a way to get closer to the front lines, you knew that whatever you’d said he was going anyway, so you’d helped. You were measuring him, because of obviously the man needed clothes that fitted, when Steve looked at you, you had your mind elsewhere.

“What's wrong Y/N?” he grabbed your forearm.

“Steve, I .. I haven't heard about Bucky since a while now, his letters have stop..” you inhaled loudly, holding back tears.

“Y/N, I'll bring him back, I promise you.” he hugged you, you felt so tiny in his arms, it used to be the other way around, yet it was comforting because you trusted this guy as much as you trusted Bucky.

“You better Rogers, or I'll go there and kick both of your ass!” you threatened, slapping his arm with the tape. He smiled holding his biceps like he had felt the slap.

“We're done Peggy” you called out. Oliver came out the stocks supply at the same time and gasped loudly seeing Steve's tight t-shirt hugging his perfect chest. Peggy eyed Oliver, unblinking, almost like a predator protecting his prey, Steve being the prey. 

“No cat fight in my shop folks!” you mentioned as you went to the main desk behind the curtains.

“Hey, Peggy approached you, Steve told me about your man, James is it?” you nodded a sad smile appearing. 

“You know, she nudged your arm, if their relationship is like ours he would find him no matter what and bring him back. If you were god knows where in trouble it’s what I’d do! And you would scold me for putting myself in danger for you obviously!” she said rolling her eyes, and you both laughed. 

A few weeks after Peggy and Steve had visited your store, the phone rang Oliver answered then you heard him stammered.

“Y/N! BOSS!” he shouted.

You almost ran to the main desk worried, Oliver never shout like that, he held the phone to you with an unreadable look on his face. You became anxious until you heard Peggy’s voice.

“Gosh Peg it’s you! Is everything okay?” you inquired, hitting Oliver’s shoulder with a swatch book. He frowned with an indignant air and mouthed “What was that for!?!” 

“Yes everything’s fine, said Peggy over the phone, just wanted to let you know I’m coming back tonight, Steve too and ... Y/N...he found him.”

You stopped breathing, thinking the worse had happened. 

“He is fine Y/N! you felt that she was smiling on the over end of the phone, and you dropped on your knees, relieved, you laughed nervously letting all the anxiety flow out your mind and body. “Thank you, thank you Peggy! Call me as soon as your in town! Love you” you ordered.

“Yes m’am! you were pretty sure she had salute, love you too sweety, see you in a couple of hours!” 

Oliver knelt down beside you, tears of joy now running down your cheeks, he sobbed with you, you apologized to him because these past few months had been hard for the both of you, mainly because of your annoying behavior, he just hugged you tight.

“Thank god, no more sloppy boss! he said aloud, swiping his tears

You laughed out loud, you didn’t even hear a customer coming in until he scraped his throat. You looked up and he stared at you two, cocking an eyebrow. Oliver stood up, helping you up your feet.

“I’ll take care of it, go make yourself decent!” he pushed you to the stairs. 

.

You entered the bar, trying hard to stay calm, your fingers twisting your purse’s trap. You saw the Howling Commandos, you remembered them from the newspapers, when you couldn’t see Buck with them, your heart started to fail you, was he really here!

"Y/N!!" He stood up from his bar tool, your felt so relieved as you saw him. Bucky lifted you, and peppered your face with kisses, your arms wrapping around his neck. You breathed in delight his intoxicating scent, one his hand on your neck while his other arm had you pinned against him by the waist, your feet not even touching the ground. Bucky’s eyes were closed, enjoying to have you in his arms at last. None of you wouldn’t let go. 

"I'm sorry I should have come to you sooner but ... I didn't want you to see me like that" he leant back looking at you apologetically. 

He was tired, you could see he had loose weight, he wasn’t wearing is all Sergeant’s uniform, his hair falling down on his forehead. You brushed his hair back with your fingertips, he closed his eyes feeling your touch, he kissed your hand keeping it on his cheek, he just wanted to feel your skin against his after all this time. 

“Can we go home, doll?” he asked you under his breath, almost pleading with his eyes, you smiled softly at the sweet name, so glad to hear it again. 

He was in need of a safe place where he could unwind, and you were willing to give him.

.

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Part 4