#today's haku thoughts of the day

[ghoulspaw]

Haku: >:(

Me: *giggling twirling hair kicking feet biting lip*

[kusanagihaku]

if Haku is the spy betraying the ghouls, Haku’s intentions might be good.

okay consider: with all the time loop stuff going around (in view of taiga’s memory issues + taiga saying something about “abandoning this future too”), what if taiga isn’t the only one stuck in the time loop?

what if haku is ALSO in the time loop and in this rendition he’s working with the institute because he’s alr tried every other method and it never worked?

he says in one of the scenes that there’s someone he wants to save, and this is just practice. what if the person he’s trying to save is mc, over and over again, and every single time the mc dies he shudders back awake and has to figure out what went wrong this round? in a way every single loop is 'practice', until he gets it right.

it explains some of what people have termed his 'sus' actions. it explains why he’s there in time in the frostheim arc when mc tried to run away, why he knows it won't end up well for anyone (mc tried that the third loop, he tried to join them the seventh loop), and why he’s there for most of the other major plot points (e.g. what if in one of the previous loops, mc gets swallowed by the barometz when on the obscuary mission with rui? that’s why he’s so insistent on letting lyca out - lyca is meant to save the mc, and he learnt this the hard way), because he already knew what was going to happen and how to stop it.

that might also be why he’s there on the train in the beginning - ostensibly to prevent taiga from yeeting mc out of the train in the first place (as taiga is prone to do), but because in every loop he has to be the first second one to see them, he needs to feel them alive in his arms, he needs to be the one to bring them to darkwick. after all, this is the person he's been reliving this entire loop for, the person he wants to, needs to save from their curse. maybe after living through their nth death and jolting awake again with cold sweat burning his eyes, he just needs to see them alive again, one more time.

it also tracks with the way haku wants to go back to being a normal human so bad... what wouldn't he give to wake up in a timeline where this time, both he and mc get to live? together?

(and of course taiga’s part of the entire timeline loop too, and he's somewhat aware of the changes - this time haku’s acting different and this time he’s working with those slimy fuckers and that's how taiga knows there's something wrong and that there's a 'spy'. taiga's also trying his best this time to save the mc (albeit through ways like ummm eating any anomaly he sees... maybe if he eats them all he'll eat the anomaly that cursed mc in the first place...??), after all.)

anyway i don't think haku's intention is to backstab anyone or to betray the ghouls. maybe his intention this entire time is to just to save one (1) person, and he's decided that he'd do anything to do that.

and this time, it means he has to partner with the institute because their research might be the only way.

or maybe i just have my haku defender glasses on

Please despite all evidence against him do you think (you’re allowed to blatantly lie) there’s a slight chance that Haku is not the spy and will not stab everyone in the back when told to?

Every time he greets me from the main screen (yeah yeah you’re not quite ready, I’ll just wait over there)I just sigh..

Seriously though.. the writers have done a fine job so far. If the main suspect turns out to be the “bad guy” isn’t it a little cheap?

Being able to predict something based on the evidence given isn't really bad storytelling--this isn't a suspense or mystery story where it should be a whole thing to figure out whodunnit after all. Cheap, maybe, but I don't think that's a bad thing.

But I'll share an idea I had recently, while the posts about Haku's family wanting him away were going around.

I don't think Haku is fully committed to backstabbing everyone. Or, rather, his intention isn't bad for the ghouls. His methods, perhaps, but the intended outcome, less so.

Haku himself implied he tried to run away from all of this once and was shut down by the Institute.

He doesn't want to be a ghoul. He wants to be a human again, he wants a normal life, he doesn't even want to work at his family's shrine, he wants to be a normal young adult who can pursue whatever his heart desires, not whatever's been set forth for him by family or destiny--

He can't escape the Institute, though. Not without going back home.

So he works with them. He gets what freedom and control over the situation he can. He sabotages the ghouls themselves. He hurts them himself.

So they work together.

They turn against him, they turn against the Institue, somehow, together, they can make things different! They can get their freedom, control their lives, even if they can't be normal humans again they can at least have enough control over their own existences to get some normalcy back!

Jin will become president, Jin will make things right, Jin maybe just needed motivation to take that mantle in the form of Haku's betrayal, maybe in the Institute's name.

In the end, Haku's plan, perhaps, is to triple cross everyone. Yes, this is self sabotage, neither side will like him in the end and he probably won't make it out of this. At least, if he can't help himself, he can help everybody else.

I think, if Haku is the spy betraying the ghouls, Haku's intentions might be good. He's just made himself the scapegoat to call everyone else into action.

It's not like anyone's waiting at home for him anyway.

[the-fandom-is-now-my-life]

Sugar kisses

People's memories can be linked to places, smells or textures, today you attempt to awaken Jiro's memories with sweets!

Wc: 1,1k

Note: wrote this kind of quickly to see if he would come home after getting a fic like Leo

Update: he didn't.

When you found out Jiro was able to eat normal food when you fed him, Nicolás would have guessed that he would show some sliver of emotion and be interested in tasting different things without his body rejecting it but it seems like you found it more fun than him.

“So you are saying the inspector asked you to bring more candy? Why is it weird? Halloween is approaching”

Bentai downed his whiskey before swiping the glass towards Rui and looking at him “but you had to see how funny they looked dragging one of your ghouls around ugh… the tall one with scars? What was his name…” his words slurring together after his third drink.

“Jiro? Mhh… they must want to make him try new flavors”

“How cute! Another couple on campus that will buy things for valentine's and white day! Let's cheer for that, Rui two on the rocks in my tab” and the blond just smiles and serves the drinks.

.✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦. .✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦.

“You seem to be really interested in this” Jiro says absentmindedly before chewing on the candy corn you were pushing against his lips, his tongue is soon drowned in sickly strong sugar caramel-like taste he quickly swallows.

“You just told me you never ate sweets, I-”

“I said I don't remember eating them since I woke up, it's likely I have eaten when I was younger but can't remember”

“Then maybe you could remember something if we try enough” he nods at your logic, there could be a probability he remembers something before his comma, even if it's unlikely. Twisting around to grab your notebook your eyes watch expectantly “so? Anything?” it's endearing how you got a whole new notebook just to record his reaction to the various sweets, writing earnestly his opinion even if it wasn't more than a word.

“It's too sweet for me” is all he says before returning to the microscope, examining tissue from an anomaly. It isn't until you whine in disappointment that he looks to the side and sees you pout “it's originated from America, I doubt I would have tasted it before. Maybe a more traditional sweet would be more likely” even if he had a pessimistic forecast for this, Yuri already attempted to at the time with no results, seeing your determined smile made a nice feeling of lightness settle between his ribs.

If candy corn was too sweet and he disliked how fudge stuck to his teeth, something about cavities and it being annoying to clean, then what could he like… After some thinking, Zenji’s voice booms in your head ‘and when Jiro was a baby his cheeks were as pink and full as strawberry dango!’ He even took his time following after you when you were buying candy, telling you all kinds of stories he remembers about Jiro that could be useful (even if he didn't remember him having a favorite food). Haku even seemed sad when you returned him his ghost.

“Let's try dango” luckily a Hotarubi student agreed to make you a batch of hanami dango even if he thought it was weird as it wasn't anywhere near Sakura watching season “open wide~”

And Jiro, ever so agreeable, turns around from his almost finished investigation and does as asked biting into the soft rice cake while gently holding your wrist between his thumb, pointer and middle finger. At first it was weird how he never had his full hand around you or refused to play wrestle ‘I don't want to hurt you accidentally’ he would say and you would smile, he couldn't possibly be strong to hurt you just having his hand around you, or so you though before seeing him snap an IV drip in half because he held it too tightly.

“Do you like it?” The question slips a few seconds after he starts chewing hoping he would have an opinion other than ‘too sweet’ or ‘fine’ but his expression -or lack of- tells you that he doesn't love it or even feel strongly about it, just like all the other candies you bought for the mini picnic date.

Still, hope is the last thing that gets lost, so you get him to try the other flavors he might possibly like more. Second flavor, no reaction “well, even if we don't find one you like I can see your cute face! Your cheeks are as round as mochi~!”

At the comment he stops chewing. Everyone would have guessed he caught his partner's compliment, but of course Jiro didn't and thought they wanted to eat “If you are hungry you can eat it, I don't mind”

“Eh? If you don't like it just tell me, I also got other types and-”

“My stomach won't really agree with it”

“Is it rejecting food again?? I will call Yuri”

“No… I'm just not used to eating so much yet” ah, it makes sense, he hasn't really eaten anything solid for a year without puking it out.

Defeated, you sit on the table beside Jiro, feet kicking the air while you pour the sweet soy sauce over the mitarashi dango. Having failed at both targets, making him remember Zenji and finding a food he likes, ruined your mood for the day

Without much hunger but not wishing to waste food you start eating until a deep voice breaks the silence.

“Why are you so insistent on this?”

“What do you mean?”

“insistent on getting my memories back”

“I just think it's sad” teeth dig into the rice cake drenched in syrup and tear it into small pieces that are easier to eat without much care for the string of liquid sliding down the corner of your mouth “If I were to forget my family and friends and all my experiences… It would be depressing”

Jiro mumbles something that is quite hard to make into a sentence because of the volume and how close the words are together “did you say something?”

getting your face closer to his in an attempt to understand his scarred hand grabs your chin and plants a kiss just where the candy was.

His eyes light up with impish joy and a boyish laugh escapes from his lips just like when he scares you or Yuri “you are really jumpy, how cute” his tongue collects the remnant sauce from his lips to the inside of his mouth.

Without a care about your warm cheeks he gets up from the chair and walks off to the door to deliver the paper but teases with a light smile “I don't truly mind not remembering anything before waking up, but if you care so much we can make new memories together”

[istharoth]

ooohh for lyca what if like .. when he realizes he has a crush on [reader] & tries to figure out how to confess !!

Anon Imma be real with you, I had too much fun writing this. wc: 1k | They/Them pronouns used - Gender Neutral Reader. | NOT Proof-Read. if it's OOC FORGIVE ME, I can't write him well :((

Love is not on his radar, he's never felt it, nor is he familiar with it. The only love he feels is familial, it's only for Neros and Subaru. But when the Inspector came into his life, things were different. The first two weeks, he wasn't used to it. He wasn't used to someone walking him to class or someone waking him up or sending them messages throughout the day to ask how he was doing.

They were so…strange. Like a puzzle piece he couldn't figure out, they were only someone he liked drawing.

Most times he found himself doodling their face on the edges of his notebooks, other times he found himself staring at them as they served the customers in Rui's bar. That always led to Rui shrieking because he wasn't cleaning the glasses correctly. Never mind all the times he would barge into the room they once stayed in because he missed their scent. He knows one thing though, whatever he feels for the Inspector, he's never going to utter a word about it to the blond gigolo or the Casanova.

"It's love," Rui almost spits out his coffee while Lyca drops his spoon, mouth ajar but still filled with food. "W-Wait a moment, Ed!! You're telling me the doggo is in love?!" Rui slams his hands on the table, eyes wide at Edward's incredulous statement.

"Don't call me doggo!" Lyca grumbles, blaring at teeth at the reaper. Seriously, why wasn't the vampire asleep?! He was never awake in time for breakfast so why today?

After a few moments, Rui ultimately calms down though that doesn't stop him from worrying if it was one of his customers. His thoughts are haywire, was it Lyca's first crush? Did he know how to approach it?? Does the person like them back? What if they don't like him back and he locks himself up in his room?

"I don't like anyone," Lyca breaks down the wall of worries Edward had built up for Rui. Realizing nothing was wrong, Rui calmed down and let out a sigh of relief.

He doesn't like anyone so why did the Casanova call it love? Walking through the grounds of Darkwick, numerous scents hit his nose, some harsh, others too sweet, some too sweaty and finally only one different. He can recognize that scent anywhere, it's that of the Inspectors. Following the scent, he sees them with two Frostheim students, one smells like gummy bears, and the other smells like the deodorant Rui uses.

He wants to approach them but at the same time, he doesn't want their friends to dislike him. He doesn't want to cause problems for them. Just when he thinks of turning away, they call out his name, "Lyca!" They wave at him with a toothy grin, unlike all the condescending smiles he gets from his classmates, unlike the awkward smile he's getting from their friends.

He feels his heart race, faster than it ever has. Something erupts in his mind and he's sure his face and ears are red. This was bad. This was really bad.

He didn't want the vampire to be right but he also didn't want to not fall for the Inspector. It had to be them, the only one he could like.

"How do you confess…?" The best person to ask anything was Subaru, he was absolutely sure Subaru knew what to do but seeing Subaru's flushed cheeks and mumble that he did not know kind of crushed his spirits.

"This is true love! My how marvelous!" Zenji's voice boomed in the room, granted only Subaru and Haku could hear it. "It's true love, he says." Haku smiles at Lyca teasingly, slightly wondering who he has a crush on.

"Says who…?" Lyca glares at the air in the corner, something about it makes him feel all weird. "So, you want to confess to your crush? You could ask Rui-San," Haku shrugs but Lyca firmly says no, grumbling something about him being a playboy.

Subaru sweatdrops at the name-calling, he can't blame Lyca though. Rui is a flirt throughout, though the same could be said for Haku. As they say, birds of a feather flock together.

"Give them flowers and if you're too shy to say something, give them a letter." He recites the advice Haku gave him. He didn't know what flowers the Inspector liked…he had to ask someone.

"Flowers the Inspector likes? Hmm…" Rui hums thoughtfully, his hand under his chin as he thinks hard. Had the Inspector mentioned their favourite flower? "If they become a flower anomaly, will they like flowers?" Edward points while drinking water…? It looks suspiciously similar to water, but it's likely not that.

"Fair point!" Rui hits his fist on his palm and then turns to Lyca whose ears were drooped down in disappointment. Why would he suddenly ask for the Inspector's favourite flowers? "…Wait, wait, wait!!" The waits progressively get louder and the other students of Obscuary cover their ears at the noise.

"You have a crush on the Inspector!?" His world is coming crashing down. Lyca liked the Inspector and he couldn't even play matchmaker?!

"The ship is smooth sailing," Edward hums from beside, finally, one of them was taking initiative. He just hadn't expected it to be Lyca but as the werewolf's mentor, he has to be supportive.

"Don't say it like you knew about it before, Ed-San," Rui glares lightheartedly at the old man who simply chuckles, sipping on water.

…Okay, he likes them, he knows how to confess, so what now? He wanted to ask them to meet him in Obscuary but Rui told him it was a bad idea. He needed to confess somewhere more romantic? What is romance? What is romantic? He does not know, all he knows he likes the Inspector more than he did anyone before.

"Lyca!! Sorry it took a while, the line at Sho's food truck keeps increasing by the day." They chuckle, passing him his share of food. Usually they would eat with Subaru but the Hotarubi Captain told him it'll be a good idea to confess on the terrace. The air feels heavy, he can feel his tail wag from inside his pants. Their scent was much stronger than he'd previously noticed, it's not a bad scent, he doesn't hate it.

"I've been thinking but you're allergic to chocolate right?" They ask, pointing at the small box of chocolates between them, "Planning to give them to someone?" Their teasing grin, the softness of their voice, he can't take it anymore. He wants them to know. He wants them to know he likes them.

"It's for you…" He mumbles, pushing a drawing of them into their hands. He should run, he should really run. What if they reject him? What if they don't like him back?

He glances at them, they were already looking back at him, a huge smile on their face. "I like you too," Oh.

They liked him. They liked him. "Shut up," He grumbles, hiding his face in his hands. "I like you too…or something." He mumbles, putting his hand over theirs. They liked him back. They didn't make fun of him or his drawing, they liked it too. His heart races when they intertwine their hands, he thinks they can hear it too with how loud his chest was beating.

[tetraharmonic]

Thinking about Haku's birthday, because today of all days, it's raining and raining hard. Some say it's good luck to have rain on your birthday or your wedding; a wet knot is harder to untie. But it rains every day in Hotarubi. Perhaps that's why he feels so at ease.

Haku had made a habit out of sitting in the rain. His uniform abandoned in favor of a t-shirt and lose fitting pajama pants, he fully intended to let it wash him clean. He'd practiced the rituals many of times, pouring the cleansing water to his left hand, then his right, then his mouth. But he found the most ease in letting the water pour down the handle, carrying it down and away from him. The rain was the closest he could get to that sensation without invoking his duties as a priest. This way made him feel less like something holy, and more like someone ordinary, and welcomed.

And so, he shut his eyes, the grass making wet patches on his pants as he sits. He absorbs it all like a sponge– the sounds, the smells, the everything. It's so easy, yet it makes him feel so complicated.

How old was he now? He often lost track, counting on his fingers to jog his memory again. Right, one more year, and he was off to his internship. Only, with his birthday today, it wasn't a year anymore. It was mere months. The rain felt a little harsher on his back at the thought.

But then, he heard the light pitter patter of rain on an umbrella and a familiar warmth settling at his side a respectful distance away. Subaru didn't say a word as he sat. He just watched. And then he put down the umbrella, allowing himself to become fully present too. He could feel the rains memory of flight like his own, and for the small droplets that bounced off Haku's soaked shirt, he could feel the warmth of his vice captain's skin.

The knot they tied felt just a little tighter, Haku thought, as he opened his eyes to meet his friend's gaze.

The Kabuki actor and the Shinobue player, the visual and audio halves of the performance– it made sense they'd draw so close. Haku couldn't deny that he felt like his presence, or even this whole house, was a safe haven.

And then the words fell from Subaru's lips. "Happy birthday, Haku."

And then, it felt like home, too.

[kcalsforhim]

monday 4 november 2024 - 𐙚 ˚🍰 ⋆｡˚⊹❀˖°

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ˚⊹

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ˚⊹

calories : 706 steps : 11.4 k

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ˚⊹

omad : bowl with white rice and canned tuna, mixed together with mayonaise. 3 edamame spring roll thingies. 3 macaroons, flavors being : blood orange, apricot and pistachio. a bowl of cucumbers.

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ˚⊹

the day went quite well. i was meant to go to college today but i woke up at fucking 12 pm and at that point literally by the time im at college i have an hour left before i need to leave. after i rolled out of bed about an hour after i woke up i went on the tread mil for another hour on speed 5 to get all of my steps in since i knew that i would get lazy otherwise. my friend texted me saying he had something for me and i thought well i can go outside.

so i wore the most uncomfortable tight outfit out to punish myself for not being to 50kg yet because honestly what am i doing with my life at this point.

then for dinner i had tuna and rice which is so haku. part of my goal is eating above 600,,, he himself eats like, what, 1200 calories max ?? no way am i gonna do that so we compromised on above 600 since thats not too terrifying for me LOL. the tuna and rice was soooo good and ive been craving macaroons since the start of last month im sick... they were SO GOOD and i had 3 ! one of each flavour that was in the little packet. i finished the edamame sticks we had today also.

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ˚⊹

these are 3 pictures that i took with my leggings on. i love these when i have a big sweater to cover my stomach and crotch but this time i did not so i felt really fat and pudgy. especially since i wear thermal under my clothes, making me look fatter than i am.

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ˚⊹

here is my side profile. i like how my ribs look but do you see how my stomach pudges out ??? its awful LOL

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ˚⊹

then these are the last photo's... i did like a mini photoshoot i couldnt shove them all in one picture dump so here we go. thighgap progress with feet together as always.

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ˚⊹

this song cause its kind of nice and soothing but also kinda creepy. i didnt really FEEL like this song today thank god, but its nice and i havent shared it yet i think

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ˚⊹

[ox-imagines]

I'm Yours (In This Life and the Next)

Pt. 1 | Zenji x reader/OC (Tokyo Debunker)

!! Major spoilers for chapter five of TDB ahead !!

Content warnings: mentions of death

Before my eyes opened, I could smell that something was off. The air was sterile, scented with metal and fresh cloth and… something else I couldn’t quite place, but I was definitely somewhere medical. My whole body felt a general achiness, my neck stiff and sore and my head pounding. Finally, my eyes blinked open. I squinted at the fluorescent lighting, trying to remember what had happened, how I could’ve possibly gotten here.

It was a lovely day out. The sun was gently blanketed by clouds, providing the ideal amount of light as I walked arm-in-arm with Zenji through a secluded part of the Darkwick campus. I’d started at Darkwick the previous school year, having just moved to Japan in order to attend the prestigious academy as a ghoul student. I wasn’t exactly outgoing and being in a new country didn’t help, but getting placed in Hotarubi seemed like a lucky break for me; the other two ghouls, who were also first-years, and all the general students I’d interacted with were so friendly and good-intentioned. Zenji was a particular help in getting me settled here. He was an odd boy, a bit eccentric with a flair for the dramatic, but also one of the most understanding, caring people I’d ever met. Lively ruby-red eyes, shiny deep-purple hair, a touch of eyeliner and lavender eyeshadow, with unique yet fashionable style and a stunningly sweet smile; that was Zenji. Needless to say it didn’t take long for me to completely fall for him. We ended up spending almost every day together, studying side by side, sharing our projects, occasionally getting R&R permits to go on little off-campus dates and day trips so he could show me his favorite places.

Over the spring break between academic years, I'd gone back home and missed being with him, but we texted and called when we could, working around the timezone difference. When we returned this year, it was like we’d never been apart. Haku, a fellow second-year ghoul from Frostheim, transferred to Hotarubi and his easygoing attitude quickly espoused him to our whole house. Zenji also made friends with a sweet, playful new ghoul from Jabberwock named Towa and we spent some of our days with him. Often though, it was still just us. I tried to ground my thoughts and remember the last thing that had happened. The birds were singing quietly as we walked, Zenji rambling about his latest novel idea. That’s how things usually went: I was content to listen to him and give him whatever feedback he wanted, and he was almost always bright and talkative, though always sensitive enough to know when silence was valuable. Even with the chaos and warring going on between the houses this year, his spirits couldn’t seem to be dampened. He seemed particularly vibrant today though… was it today? How did I get here?

All I could remember was him, his crimson eyes glittering, shining with adoration as he looked down at me, watching my reactions to his grand ideas. The warmth of his arm around mine, the lilt of his deep voice, the way he leaned in to gently kiss my cheek and the way his breath tickled my ear as he did so. The dappled sunlight filtering through the leaves added to his magnificence. And then… And then?

Oh.

Oh.

The ground trembled softly, Zenji’s hold on me tightening and his bright eyes clouding with alarm as he looked around. The ground started shaking harder, and over the crest of the horizon line a massive anomalous creature resembling a rhino approached. That wasn’t good. The other few students scattered around the lawn screamed and ran, one of them not lucky enough to escape the anomaly’s angered rampage and getting trampled with a sickening crunch. Zenji’s hand slid down and clasped onto mine tightly. “Run. We can’t outrun it, but maybe it’ll go the other way.” He was often a worrier, but the dark concern in his quivering voice didn’t belong there. Though he wasn’t particularly athletic, his long legs moved quickly to try and carry him away, his hand in mine pulling me along with him as I tried to catch up.

“Shit,” I gasped out, unsure whether or not we were successfully escaping the beast but unwilling to look over my shoulder.

“Shit,” Zenji nodded in agreement, one of the very few times I’d ever heard him curse. He did look behind us and his expression told me everything I needed to know. “Leia, don’t let go,” the fear in his voice and eyes chilled me and I held his hand tighter, his own grip on mine almost painful. “Keep running, don’t look back.”

A heavy force hit me hard from the back. I went flying and my hand slipped from Zenji’s. My conciousness faded as I hit a tree.

My heart was pounding and my mouth was dry; I tried to sit up, but a harsh pain in my side stopped me. Some machine I was attached to started beeping and Yuri, a first-year Mortkranken student with a cold, stern air about him and aqua hair that matched his house’s color, appeared promptly with a clipboard. He checked the beeping machine to record my vitals, not saying anything.

“Where, where is he? Where’s Zenji? Yuri…”

He turned to me, wearing an odd look I couldn’t quite discern. “Haku’s here, he’s been waiting for you to wake up. I’ll let you talk to him.” Yuri left just as quickly as he’d arrived. Moments later, a familiar figure stepped into the doorway, stringy green hair hanging over sad eyes and a bittersweet smile.

“Hey,” Haku stepped closer, clearing his throat softly and settling into the chair at my bedside. “You’re up; how do you feel?”

“I, I don’t know, sore? Haku, is Zenji okay?” At my sides, my hands were trembling. I looked down and noticed there were little crescent-shaped bruises on one of them from Zenji’s nails, from the way he’d held on to it so tightly as we’d ran.

Haku’s smile faltered and he looked down. “Leia, he’s… he’s gone. I’m sorry.”

“No. No,” I shook my head. “What do you mean, ‘gone?’ He had to be taken off campus for treatment?”

“Leia…” The boy reached into his pocket, holding something out to me. I held a shaking hand out.

It was Zenji’s necklace and glasses lanyard. I felt like I might be sick.

“His glasses themselves were broken, but,” Haku trailed off, shrugging and rubbing his neck.

I wanted to laugh, to tell him to fuck off with his stupid jokes and tell me when I could see Zenji, but the look in Haku’s eyes told me he was fully serious. “Oh, God,” the pain in my chest was so much worse than any of the other pain in my aching body. “Please,” I whined, my throat tightening. Hot tears ran down my cheeks without me even registering that I was crying.

Haku glanced at the spot between us, his golden gaze flickering, conflicted. He stood and strode over to the door, quietly shutting it. “Leia, the university can’t know this or they’ll make me put him to rest, but…” he carefully sat on the edge of my bed and took my hand that still held Zenji’s belongings. “Close your eyes, hold onto those tightly, and think of Zenji.”

I did as he said without having a clue what was happening and he began playing his flute. My hand was shaking, closed around the trinkets that Zenji virtually always wore, tears spilling silently from my eyes as I kept them squeezed shut. Suddenly, the very familiar sound of a certain stringed instrument joined Haku’s flute: Zenji’s biwa. Instinctually, I almost opened my eyes, but Haku rested a steadying hand on my arm.

The music stopped.

“Oh, my dear, I hate seeing you like this. I hope Haku is right about this working.”

“Zenji?” I cried, my eyes flying open as I lurched forward in the bed, ignoring the sharp pain in my side. Zenji sat at the foot of my bed, his clear porcelain skin puffy and red as if he’d been crying too. As he realized I could see and hear him, a wide grin split his face and his chest shook with something between a laugh and a sob as tears of joy gathered in his eyes. He leapt forward with his arms open.

My smile fell a bit as I felt a cool breeze rather than Zenji’s warm embrace. He’d passed through me rather than hugging me. “Oh,” he sat back, his crimson eyes saddening. He carefully reached out and my cheek felt cold where his hand was, his thumb brushing under my eye. “I’m so sorry this happened, my dearest.” 

I resisted the urge to lean into his touch, knowing I’d just pass through his hand if I did. I closed my eyes and let out a deep, shaky sigh. “It’s okay, baby. It’s just something new to figure out. I’m just happy I still have you, even if it’s in a different capacity.” That was partially a lie. I doubted he’d pick up on it, but Haku surely would have. How could I be happy with this? Zenji was only 19, and was a font of creativity and life and love; he didn’t deserve this, didn’t deserve to die so young.

“I will say,” Haku interrupted after a moment. “With some time and practice, you should be able to feel his touch, properly. Zenji, you’ve already figured out you can interact with inanimate objects when you want to and when you concentrate on trying to, and human contact will essentially work the same way. Have you heard of spirits physically attacking people? It’s the same premise, although vengeful spirits are usually tied to the physical realm more than you are, Zenji.”

By that point, I was only half-listening to Haku. My mind was racing, trying to figure out some way to fix this. I spent a decent amount of time with the Mortkranken ghouls, I’d always had a penchant for science and the morally grey ethics to match theirs, I just had a stronger tendency towards artistry that had landed me in Hotarubi. Between me and Yuri, we could surely deliberate a solution for Zenji, even if it was questionable at best.

“What if we found a way to make him, I don’t know, ‘real’ again?” I turned to Haku, trying to place my hand over Zenji’s on my lap and sighing as I once again passed through him. I flipped my hand over so he could set his on it.

“What did you have in mind, my dear?” Zenji’s voice held a note of skepticism, but his eyes shone curiously.

“I’m not sure yet, but it would have to involve Yuri. Haku, I know you didn’t want to tell anyone, but Yuri would much rather take the chance to play around and make up new experiments than he would turn over a potential test subject to the Chancellor.”

Haku’s brows were furrowed as he studied me. “I’m not sure what you want to try and do, but reanimation and possession are both testy subjects. You’re not wrong about Yuri, though, I’ll give you that.”

My eyes moved back to lock onto Zenji’s. “No matter what, I’m still yours,” I smiled at him, though I could tell it came out a little more lopsided and sad than I’d intended. “Could we go back to the dorms now?”

“Nah, you’re still stuck here for a couple days,” Haku chuckled. “You’ve got two broken ribs and a concussion.”

“Oh.”

“Yep.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you,” Zenji’s hand brushed coolly along my face again, his tone somber. “But!” It rapidly upticked into his usual dramatic bravado and I couldn’t help but grin. “I will be right by your side; I can read to you, or regale you, or play my biwa for you, or simply talk. I will watch over you all night, my dear.”

My heart swelled with emotion. Even in death, my sweet, perfect boyfriend was concerned for my well-being. There certainly weren't many people who could say the same, either. For better or for worse, this was the situation we were handed, and I’d be damned if we weren’t going to figure it out one way or another.

[aardelea]

Whatever works

Here’s a little romantic and also sad story featuring Zenji—around 2.3k words. The story contains major spoilers, so it’s best to skip this if you haven’t read the Hotarubi chapter yet. The MC is named 'Nao' in this story, as I prefer having a specific name for the character I’m writing about. Otherwise, enjoy the read!

You can't remember the last time you felt this good since meeting Zenji. The eccentric poet has completely turned your life upside down since you met him a few months ago.

You had a lot in common: your love for poetry, music, art… and your shared romantic streak. Not a day went by where you didn’t see each other, philosophizing together about the most meaningful and meaningless ideas and creating new stories, which you both brought to life on paper. By now, you’d even had the honor of relieving Haku from his duties as cameraman from time to time, stepping into his role yourself. Of course, Zenji could sometimes get lost in his enthusiasm, making it hard to bring him back down to earth, but that was exactly what you loved so much about him. He always gave himself completely to the moment and his emotions without ever seeming forced. Every feeling he expressed was always genuine and sincere.

Often, the two of you would spend hours talking in bed before sleep finally took you. Most of the time, Zenji was gone by the time you woke up in the morning, but he always left a little note on the table, wishing you a magical day and saying how much he looked forward to seeing you again.

To avoid making you feel suffocated, he let you fulfill your daytime tasks and spend time with your friends before you’d meet again in the evening. Even though you’d told him countless times that you’d be happy for him to visit during the day, he insisted that you should enjoy your life on campus as much as possible. So, it was always up to you to visit him in Hotarubi after your duties were done for the day. It apparently never occurred to him that he was the one who made life in Darkwick so enjoyable in the first place.

During the day, you usually spent your free time with Luca and Kaito, with whom you shared many classes. You quickly grew fond of both of them and always had a great time together, both on and off-campus.

Today, you were out with Kaito on your way to the diner to kill some time before the next class. On the large lawn in front of the main building, you saw Haku and Zenji talking in the distance. Seeing Haku with his phone in hand, you assumed Zenji was working on the video idea he’d told you about recently. A sad smile crossed your face as you thought about how he just couldn’t—or wouldn’t—understand that he would never appear in those videos. But you would be the last person to force that reality on him, so you, like Haku, just played along.

Haku quickly noticed you and waved with a tired smile. When Zenji turned and saw you, it was as if the sun rose, his face lighting up so brightly. He waved excitedly and smiled at you with that dazzling smile that always made your heart flutter.

“You really seem to get along well with Haku, huh?” Kaito commented as you waved back happily at the two of them. The joy of this chance encounter must have been written all over your face.

“Hm, what? Haku? Uh… yeah, sure. We get along well. He’s a good friend,” you replied, a little confused. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, your eyes always light up when you see him. And you do seem to spend a lot of time in Hotarubi,” Kaito said, looking at you with an almost sad smile as he waited for your reaction. “I-I’m really sorry, honestly! I didn’t mean to be nosy or anything.”

“No, no, Kaito. I’m sorry, I just hadn’t noticed. When I see Haku, it’s usually because he has good news for me. That’s all.” You chuckled a bit to yourself at the double meaning of your words. As much as you liked Haku, your good mood was never solely due to him when you saw each other.

Kaito suddenly stopped and looked down at the ground, embarrassed. You stood in front of him, watching him with a mix of concern and confusion. “Is everything okay, Kaito? Not in the mood for the diner today? We can always do something else if you’d like.”

He sniffled softly, tears beginning to form in his eyes. “You’re always so damn kind, Nao. And I don’t deserve it, not with how careless I am.”

Oh no, there it was again. Kaito’s never-ending insecurity. You always did your best to build him up and boost his confidence, but his negative feelings about himself ran too deep to be chased away by words alone.

You squeezed his hand tightly, concerned. “Kaito, what on earth is wrong? Everything’s fine. You haven’t upset me or anything like that.”

“Please forgive me. I’m such an idiot, and I doubt that will ever change in this lifetime. But I have to say it now, or I’ll lose my mind. I like you, Nao… I mean really like you. Not just as a friend.”

You’d already suspected it but had pushed the thought away as much as possible. Kaito couldn’t hold back his feelings, which was one of the things you liked about him. And it wasn’t exactly a secret that he felt more for you than friends usually did. You’d always made an effort not to give him false hope, and you valued honesty with him to avoid misleading him. But as you knew all too well, you can’t choose who you fall in love with. So, this day had to come.

“That’s so sweet of you, Kaito. I really appreciate your words, and they mean a lot to me. But as much as I’d like to, I can’t return your feelings. I’m sorry.”

Although tears fell to the ground between you, a tired smile spread across Kaito’s lips. “It’s okay. It’s not like I expected anything different. I don’t stand a chance against charming, good-looking guys like Haku anyway. I just needed to get it off my chest. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine soon enough. Idiots like me always bounce back quickly. Excuse me…”

Before he could turn and walk away, you took the initiative and hugged Kaito tightly. You could feel his wet cheeks against your neck. “Don’t even think about just walking away.”

Kaito seemed too surprised to move. Before he could say anything, you continued, “You’re my best friend, Kaito, and I mean that. You’re an amazing, warm-hearted person, and you mean the world to me. Don’t ever forget that. And no chance against men like Haku? You’re at least as lovable as him, if not more! Don’t you dare have such terrible thoughts again.”

Kaito tried to pull away, but each time, you held him even tighter. “Then why him and not me…?”

“Why do you keep bringing up Haku? I don’t have any deeper feelings for him. I promise. I’m just not ready to be with someone right now, you know? It’s just not the right time.”

You stayed like that for a while, and you could feel that you were starting to attract attention. But the stares didn’t bother you. At least no one was close enough to overhear your conversation. The last thing you wanted was for Kaito to be teased for being rejected.

When you were sure he wouldn’t suddenly turn around and run away, you slowly loosened your grip on him, placed your hands on his shoulders, and looked into his eyes. His cheeks and eyes were still red, but at least he had stopped crying.

“You’re too kind, Nao. I’m sorry for always causing you so much trouble.”

You laughed warmly. “Life here in Darkwick definitely wouldn’t be the same without you, Kaito. I wouldn’t give up these ‘troubles’ for anything.”

You let him go, pulled a tissue from your pocket, and handed it to him. “I understand if you’d rather be alone right now. But if you still want to go to the diner with me, I’d be happy to have you.”

He looked down, embarrassed, thinking for a few moments before looking back at you with a smile, even if it seemed a bit forced this time. “Sorry, but I think I’d rather be alone for a bit. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

You nodded understandingly and watched him walk off toward Frostheim. You sighed quietly and continued on your way to the diner in silence. A short break would be best for you, too.

After finishing up the day’s tasks, you decided not to visit Zenji in Hotarubi this time. Too much was on your mind to pretend everything was fine. You got ready for bed and lit a few candles to reflect your melancholic mood.

You stood in front of the mirror, looking at yourself with your head tilted. You felt honored that someone had taken you so deeply into their heart. Even though Kaito was the type who typically chased after every more or less pretty girl, you knew that his feelings for you were genuine.

“Stunning as always. Even in your pajamas.”

You saw Zenji standing at the end of your room. He smiled at you, but there was also something sad in his expression.

“I’m sorry I didn’t visit you today. It was actually quite hectic.”

“Don’t worry about it, my dear. I noticed what happened today and figured you needed some time for yourself.”

“Oh, really?” you began cautiously.

“Of course! The magical love that flickered in the air when I saw you back there was hard to miss.” Zenji seemed to be back in his element, brimming with enthusiasm.

“Eh… that’s not exactly how I would have put it, but if you say so…”

“No need to hold back, my dearest! It was only a matter of time before this day came. I simply couldn’t resist congratulating you in person.”

You stared at him in confusion. “I think you might have misunderstood.”

“It’s truly very noble of you, but you really don’t have to consider me! The dream was lovely while it lasted, but I was always prepared to wake up and face reality eventually. One day, I would have to make way for someone who deserves your time more than I do.”

“But that’s not how it is…”

Zenji was quick to interrupt. “Shh, my dear, you really don’t have to explain anything. I truly appreciate your concern and I feel like the luckiest guy in the world that I had you for as long as I did. Believe me, these wonderful memories will stay with me for the rest of my life. But as they say, one should leave when it’s at its best. Oh, and how wonderfully beautiful it was!”

“Wait, farewell? I would never…”

“It’s just as hard for me, believe me! But maybe we’ll still see each other here and there if you happen to wander back to Hotarubi.”

The man was unstoppable.

“Zenji…”

“Or, if fate is kind to us, we might run into each other on campus like today.”

“Zenji!”

You knew you had to stop him before he got completely carried away. After raising your voice, he froze for a moment.

“Thank you. So, let’s start over. What exactly do you think you saw?”

“Kaito confessed his love to you, and you reciprocated it while hugging him. Oh, what a wonderful scene that was! Kaito taking matters into his own hands and forging his own destiny! Such commendable action!”

“That’s not what happened, Zenji. Quite the opposite.”

“What…? How do you mean?”

You sat on the edge of the bed and gestured for Zenji to sit beside you. Then you told him everything that had happened, in minute detail.

“Oh… that’s truly sad. I hope the honorable gentleman remains strong and recovers quickly. And all because you happily waved at us. I will demand that Haku apologize to Kaito.”

“Eh…? How many times do I have to say it? I’m not glowing because of Haku, but because of you, Zenji. And only because of you.”

He stared at you in silence for a moment, before suddenly exclaiming in shock. “Oh my goodness, then I need to apologize to him!”

“First of all, it would be nice if everyone could calm down. No one needs to apologize for anything. That’s just the way things go, and disappointments are part of life. No one did anything wrong.”

Zenji stared thoughtfully at the floor. He must have started to understand what you were getting at.

“Believe me, I wish I had fallen for someone like Kaito or Luca, but that’s not how it works. It can’t be changed that someone else is involved.”

Zenji looked shocked again. “So you lied to him when you said you had no feelings for Haku?”

“I abhor violence, but I swear, if anyone mentions Haku again, they’ll get one. No! But I couldn’t exactly tell him I have feelings for a ghost instead of him.”

Zenji’s expression shifted from cheerful to melancholic.

“I’m truly flattered that a simple fool like me has a place in your heart. And I can’t exactly say that I don’t cherish every single second with you and long for your presence when we’re not together, but…”

“No ‘buts’, Zenji. You mean a lot to me, and I don’t regret a single second spent with you instead of anyone else. I want to enjoy countless more moments with you, as long as fate allows.”

He looked deeply into your eyes. Sadness marked his delicate features. “But you should be with the living, my dear. It’s no use wasting energy on me. Unfortunately, we just met too late.”

“Maybe we did. But I won’t let anyone take the remaining time from me. Only when you’re here do I feel truly alive. Nothing can change that.” You raised a hand and held it in the air between you, as if pressing it against an invisible wall. Zenji mirrored the gesture and placed his hand against yours.

Even though you couldn’t physically touch each other, you could almost feel his warmth.

“I’ve never been good at saying no to you.” Zenji’s smile made your heart race.

You smiled warmly back at him. “Let me be your heartbeat until the end.”

[heavenlyakin]

Part 12: C'mon Baby

Summary: Your life is forever changed when your most trusted advisor arrives home with an engagement treaty. As Queen of your Kingdom, you knew there would be sacrifices but little did you know how much the cost of these sacrifices would be. What do you do when your mind wants one thing but your heart longs for another?

Characters: Reader (some descriptions may apply), Suguru Geto, Satoru Gojo, Camilla (oc advisor), and Bella and Ella

Warnings: pregnancy and childbirth

Length: 1.8k

Navigation | Prev Chapter | Next Chapter

The second pregnancy is much gentler on you. You thank the Gods for that each and every day, happy to not have to spend your days confined to the rooms of Satoru’s castle with your head in a bucket. Spring sprung early, the snow finally melting after 6 weeks of being away from home. Only another 6 to go. 

A knock at your door during your morning bath draws your and the twin’s attention. “Who could that be at this hour?” 

You shrug, leaning back against the tub and setting your hands on the small bump that’s formed. Some distant voices become less hushed as they near your bathing chamber. The familiar voice of your husband becomes distinct before he steps into the room. 

“Ah, there you are.” 

“Here I am,” you smile. “What do I owe the pleasure, King Gojo?” 

He smiles, shaking his head. “A rumor has spread amongst my court.” 

Your heart drops to your stomach. What rumor? 

Your frown makes him speak again. “The maids have not had to clean a set of soiled sheets since you arrived. Your monthly has yet to come in weeks.” 

“I didn’t know men cared to inquire about women’s issues.” You tease, standing up, the twins rushing out of the room as you do. “The rumors are correct.” You place your hand on the rounded part of your stomach. I am with child again.” 

His grin is infectious, but you can’t help the bite of guilt nipping at you from the inside. He steps towards you in the tib, placing his hands on the wet skin of your stomach. You let him stare, knowing the next few months will be the last of his joy when you have a child that is clearly not his.  

“I would like to have this one at home as well. It is due around the winter solstice according to my midwife.” You inform him. 

“That seems too soon. Are you sure?” He asks and you nod. 

“She fears I will go into labor early as I did with Haku. So she wants me prepared this time. If I hold out a month after, it will not be concerning, but better for the child.” He listens and helps you dry off and into your robe. 

“I have news too,” he tells you as you sit on a fluffy white chair in your room. He sits at the one across from you as Ella sets a tray of tea and pastries between the two of you. 

“Share, please,” you smile, adding four sugar cubes to his cup and three to yours. 

He takes his tea with thanks, sipping it before speaking. “I had plans drawn up for a castle on the border of our territories, uniting us as one. I would like you to join us today, to look at them and add your input.” 

“Satoru,” you sigh. “I thought we’d decided to stick to the arrangement from the beginning of our marriage.” 

His turn to sigh. “This will make living together effortless, no need to travel far and drag children through rough territories.” 

You understand where he is coming from, you do. However, you’re not accustomed to change. “Has my advisors had input on the plans?” 

“They have. Suguru and Camilla mostly, but they’ve worked with Nanami and me.” He takes a bite from a croissant. “Just come look today at the meeting. We can change anything you like.” 

“If you wish,” you sip from your tea. 

After breakfast, he leaves the room to dress for the day and leaves you to do the same. Choosing a deep plum dress made with flowing chiffon and lace. The gold adornments on the bodice compliment the tiara you brought with you from home. Satoru’s guards follow behind you as you make it to the council room. Your advisors, Satoru, and his advisors are already there when you join, taking a seat beside your husband. 

He announces the news of your pregnancy, and every one offers up their congratulations. Camilla and Suguru hug you, together. Satoru gets several claps on the back and praise from his. You finally get everyone settled down enough to show you the plans that have been drawn up for the new castle. 

“Now, this will take at least three years to construct at best,” Nanami tells you as you nod, flipping through some drawings of gorgeous architecture and interiors. “It’s larger than booths the castle here and yours, giving us room to host both courts at times of celebration.” 

“I must say, I was hesitant.” you place your hand on top of the pages. However, seeing it now, I see why you were so excited, dear husband. I say we move forward as soon as possible.” 

“Smart choice, your grace,” Camilla smiles at you, her eyes lingering on you and the hand Satoru moves to your bump. 

“A new era is upon us,” Suguru states, dropping his pen after signing whatever he was writing. “I believe Nanami, Camilla, and I have lots to discuss now with the news of your second child. We will send for you when details of the announcement needs to be cleared up.” 

Your dismissal is polite on his tongue. Satoru takes your hand as you leave, suggesting a stroll through the gardens now that some blossoms have begun to bloom. 

–

The travels back to your castle were much easier on you, given the weather is much warmer and spring has fully blossomed. Satoru’s court was shocked at the announcement of your pregnancy and so ecstatic. The party lasted several days and nights, much more extravagant than the celebration of your first. 

With so many workers from both your kingdom and Satoru’s, you have had much more to coordinate when it comes to the farming that still needs to be done. This part of ruling has never been something you enjoyed, really, but you’ve found you can make quick informed decisions with Suguru at your side. 

Satoru brought more of his court with him this time, planning on staying here until you’ve had the second child and then some after. He swears up and down he’s fine with it, but you see the looks some of the noblewomen give you, especially the newly married ones. You’ve taken their King and now get your way of where he lives. You handle them well, letting your kindness to them speak for you rather than engaging in the drama some of them try to stir with your own nobles. 

Courting season comes with summer, and many new sons and daughters announced to court, their fresh faces bringing excitement to balls and parties across the country. At least three engagements are announced, two of which Satoru and you arrange between nobles from your respective countries. 

After the last ball of the summer, you find yourself tangled up with Suguru in your bed. His head rests on the pillow beside yours, his hand on your ever-growing bump. He sighs, his breath tickling your cheek. 

“What’s wrong?” You ask, looking over to him. 

“Just thinking about how my parents will never meet our child.” He tells you. “They would have been-” 

“Suguru, your father would probably have had my head for having a bastard, even if I was his queen.” You interrupt, trying to stifle a laugh and failing. 

He laughs. “That is true. However, Mother would have loved them no matter what.” 

You don’t remember his mother, as you were only five when she passed. What you do remember of her was told to you from Suguru in the last few weeks at night when you would share memories as you dozed off to sleep. She sounded like your mother, which makes sense given they were friends. 

“I have been wondering, how we will deal with the rumors that will spread about me.” You tell him, rubbing your stomach. “People will talk, no matter what their loyalties are.” 

“Let them talk,” he tells you. “You could have their tongues if it starts to bother you.” 

The idea of cutting out someone’s tongue isn’t exactly how you’d imagined your rule, but now the idea lingered. “What about Satoru?” 

“He’s a wild card, I must admit.” Suguru sits up, his face startled as you feel it too. Like little kicks against your stomach, finally able to be felt outside the skin. “Hey there,” he coos, kissing just above his hands. 

You smile, placing your hand over his. “Do you want a boy or girl?” 

“I’ve always wanted daughters,” he admits. “I’ll be happy as long as they are healthy and have their mother’s beautiful eyes.” He looks up to you, a silly grin on his face. 

–

Plans for the winter solstice have taken way, and the castle is at its capacity with everyone visiting for the celebration. After this year’s bountiful harvest and immense trade, everyone seems to have a little more to celebrate this year. 

Especially given how close to having another heir you are. 

You knew it was going to come any day now, given the false contractions you’ve had all throughout the week. However, you did not expect your water to break on your throne. Your cry for help barely rang through as the music blared, but Satoru jumping up and the guards rushing you out stopped the music altogether. 

By the time you’ve made it up the stairs to your room and onto your bed, you feel the unnerving urge to push. Satoru sits behind you, holding your shoulders and letting you rest against him as needed. It feels like you go for hours through the pain, but the shouting cry of a baby breaks the haze. 

Black hair, as dark as night itself lays atop your baby girl’s head. You open your mouth to speak, but cannot find the words. In your panic, you look up to Satoru, his eyes full of… of… love? He gently moves from behind you, over to the midwife, taking the baby in his arms. 

“She has your father’s hair,” he tells you, his eyes on you now as if he’s pleading. 

“She does,” you quickly say, reaching for her. 

One of the nurses props more pillows behind you to lay back, as you take your daughter in your arms. As you look into her eyes, you realize she looks like her father. Looking up at Satoru, he sits beside you, wrapping his arms around you and the babe. 

“Can we have some time?” He asks the nurses and midwife and they nod, leaving the room. 

“Satoru, I-” 

“A daughter, I have a daughter!” He smiles, kissing your temple. 

His eyes are a storm you’ve never seen before.

[sneezemonster15]

Hello there. Not too long ago I was reminded of Naruto, my first anime, how emotional it made me, and looking at it after years with adult eyes.. as a teen, I felt very uncomfortable with SNS bc of internalized homophobia, but now, it's an entirely different story. I couldn't put down my phone after discovering your blog and I appreciate your unapologetic, detailed, thoughtful analysis so much. Maybe you already were asked this question, but what would you ideally wish for Naruto and Sasuke after chapter 698? How would the prophesied change of the shinobi world come to fruition? (You don't have to answer, still I'm happy to be able to read your thoughts. Have a good day.)

Hey.

Hope you had a good day too. :) Thank you for your response. I am glad I was able to communicate what I wanted and that it reached the reader. Heh. No seriously, I am glad. Today was a long day. Sigh.

Well, Kishi wrote the shinobi world as an apathetic world where nothing of significance, the way it was shaped by the narrative, came to fruition. All of Sasuke's efforts went in vain. Uchiha clan was not vindicated of the false accusation of summoning the kyuubi. Itachi's truth was hidden, and he still bears the entire condemnation of the Uchiha massacre despite the complicity of Konoha elders, Danzo and Hiruzen in it. Kakashi, the prospective hokage, still doesn't understand Sasuke or what he went through, much less understand the severity of Uchiha clan massacre and what it implies. He is still a willing tool of the system who follows the rules blindly. Even Sai, who never had a family, who grew up in a clinical environment completely devoid of any emotional expression or affectation, Root ie, even this boy realized what he was doing was wrong and promised himself never to follow rules blindly. Not Kakashi. In the end, he tells Sasuke to behave as if whatever happened was his fault. Was the massacre his fault? Was the kyuubi attack his fault? Was he wrong in killing Danzo? Was his wish for revenge for having his entire clan butchered while asleep so out of place when Kakashi allowed others such as Shikamaru to take revenge? Hinata and Sakura, both were rewarded for their insensitive and consistently unempathetic pursuance of Naruto and Sasuke respectively, when they should have been condemned. The elders are still revered despite their complicity in the massacre, their public personas clean and untainted. Hiruzen is still considered as one of the best hokage to ever live when he was literally the worst, having had an entire clan die under his rule with his complicity, this man who taught his students about the 'will of fire', a philosophy which was supposed to be about protecting the people of Konoha, and yet was entirely inconsequential at the time of the massacre. Him, a hokage. Useless. Complacent. A failure. A blight. He himself admitted his complicity in the massacre and yet was never condemned for it. He should have been.

The problem with suppressing the truth is that unless it is revealed, you will never know what went wrong. And it's important to assign blame to the guilty party and have them punished for it. That's how an ideal society functions. But the shinobi world isn't an ideal world. It's a heartless world. It's an indifferent world. It's a world where there's no true justice. Kishi never meant to write it as an ideal world. It was portrayed as a heartless and unjust world right from the beginning, what with its victims such as Haku, Zabuza, Amegakure orphans, Gaara, Neji, Naruto, Sasuke, Sakumo, Kisame, Oro's sound ninjas etc. And no one got true justice. Not one. Well, Gaara still got some resolution, but it was because of Naruto, and not this world. Most of them got some sort of resolution because of Naruto. But not true justice. Well, he is the MC, so he will be given the savior trope, but look at him in Gaiden and Boruto and in that extra chapter with the hokage ceremony. He is not himself. He is not enthused or excited about being hokage. He is a mere husk of his former self. He is not the same person that we know and love, entirely the opposite as a matter of fact. He capitulated to this world. Just like Sasuke did. It's heartbreaking.

The cycle of revenge only stopped because of Sasuke and Naruto, if it weren't for them, their world was doomed. And yet, they both live a miserable life post 699, just empty shells of what they used to be, having had their zeal and zest and individuality sacrificed at the altar of conformity. For the sake of their world. Living heterosexual lives in public. Being married to superficial and selfish women who don't even know their hearts or what they are truly like, who don't care for anything but their status and fame and looks, to have them as trophies.

Anyway, I have written about what you asked here. It may assume a lot of stuff, but it's what I wanted.

[localgirlbecomesobsessed]

Reminiscent of a colder time

Olivia x Haku (pre-established)

Part one

In which professor moby once again leaves all his work for Olivia to do.

This will be a two parter probably.

Slightly suggestive language from the rizz master himself

It’s a humid day in hotarubi and Olivia was deeply regretting offering to helpout. Her and Haku had to carry a large delivery of books Professor Moby left outside the forest, it was for the book festival the house was holding next week and the cats were meant to do it but of course they got called for an even bigger shipment that took priority, leaving Haku and Olivia two options:

•wait till nighttime for the cats to come back and try to defend the books from the elements and thieves (sinostra).

•Haul the books back to the dorm

Haku advocated for the first option, saying it was the perfect time for the two of them to cuddle and have a nap, Olivia rolled her eyes smiling but had to crush the flutists joking desires as she noticed the cart the books were left on had wheels, maybe professor Moby just hates her she mused as the bastard must’ve done this on purpose.

Thus here they were halfway through the forest with Olivia pulling the rope as Haku helped push from behind, they were getting to the hill section of their route and Olivia wanted to just leave and give up which was rare for her. Zenji had gone to get Subaru to help assist them, which was one of the only things helping her keep pulling as she would’ve felt awful if Subaru had to help them, she knows he’s a ghoul but the poor guy looks like he could be blown away by the breeze.

The hill had gotten even steeper, Olivia had the rope over her shoulder as she pulled with all her might, her thighs being her strong point and the point of her body that she could feel the strongest strain as she could already feel that the struggle will be real tomorrow morning as the hill become steeper and the obstacles increased as she narrowly avoided jagged rocks and branches…

She is defiantly going to feel like shit tomorrow.

“Princess, this is some view I got…makes me almost glad we had to carry this crap.”

She would’ve turned back to look at him but the burning in her shoulder wouldn’t allow her too as she could literally feel the weight off the cart on her, she had a slight increase in strength from what’s happened and yuri’s experiments but not anything to match a ghoul, she felt kind of bad that Haku was stuck with her for this, although she could literally feel when he stops pushing making her pull even harder and deeply regretting wearing knee high socks today, they were drenched in sweat and feeling disgusting. The forest was solemn and bleak, they were both covered in sweat and being boiled by the mixture of heat and humidity, she couldn’t partially understand what view Haku was going on about.

“What are you talkin’ bout’?”

She said through gritted teeth as she could see the end of hill in sight, the tea room was only a couple of minutes away giving them the perfect rest stop after this gruelling time.

“Hmmm~I don’t know, I think I should keep it to myself Princess.”

If her face wasn’t already red from exertion, it would’ve bloomed a furious red from the nickname, one Haku knows fluster’s her to no end everytime he uses it.

He heaved the cart, silently cursing the humidity of Hotarubi. If it was two ghouls this would’ve maybe been a bit easier but despite the sweat clinging to him and the manual labour, he was glad it was just him and Olivia. The sight of her plush thighs dripping in sweat as they strained to stand from the weight she was pulling made Haku keep ‘accidentally’ forgetting to push for a couple of seconds just so he could watch them wobble as she impressively dragged the cart up the hill by herself, her thighs looked so soft that Haku just wanted to drive his teeth into them-have them wrapped around his head as he…he shook the thoughts away not wanting to let his daydreams go too crazy…but it was hard not to daydream, especially when he gets to see her so hot and bothered. Her sweaty look was joined with a rare occurrence of her tying her hair up into a bun, revealing a mole just underneath her hairline at the top of her neck, which also drove him crazy, a hidden part of her that no one else every gets to see, but he does.

He also got a good look at her sun printed bra that was peeking through her sweat covered shirt, the white shirt becoming translucent enough for the golden sun to peek out.

“I can feel you staring-quit it.”

They were almost there, the afternoon sky turning a beautiful dark pink as it loomed over the forest trees. He lazily grinned at her as he pushed with all his might as they finally approached the top of the hill, the tea room was so close yet so far.

“Can’t help it princess, you look-“

She snorted as she forced herself to power through it.

“I look like a hot mess dude.”

He chuckled rolling his eyes at her dramatics as they finally got over the hill, Olivia nearly dropping to the ground in relief as the floor became flat, Haku quickly moved to the front of the cart, taking one of the ropes off of Olivia as they both hauled it to the tea room.

They almost cried when they saw it, Zenji and Subaru waiting with a change of clothes and tea as the two approached them. Olivia on shaky legs as she could feel them start to jellify as her body now realised that it doesn’t have to haul a giant cart anymore.

“We don’t have any baths in this place but we have a sink Livy~you can go first.”

She nodded gratefully at Haku as he held an arm out for her to lean on as she seemed a bit wobbly, she gratefully took it, Subaru handed her a black yukata with sunflowers printed onto it ,to get changed into as zenji winked conspiratorially with Haku.

“My darling little lamb~~~~ an ode will be made in your honour as you encompass the glowing sun around us!”

He spun around Olivia as she giggled at Zenji’s antics, his boa swimming around with him as he delicately played a couple of notes, testing what would be best for dear Olivia.

Subaru handed Haku a matching black jinbei set, smiling solemnly at the two as guilt swirled in his eyes.

“Hey don’t feel bad, the princess and I were a dream team right Livi?”

He wrapped an arm around her, sticking their sweating bodies together as Olivia had a strained smile on her face, inwardly cringing at the grossness of it all.

“100% we were the dream team, that hill never stood a chance!”

She puffed out her chest as she forced a cheery smile onto her face, Subaru sighed and was about to bow before Haku gently put a hand in front of him, halting any moment of apologising as they both grinned at Subaru.

“I-I’ll ensure that you won’t have to carry it the rest of the way, please have a wash down and change, I’ll make some more tea and have some snacks to accompany it.”

Oh no…

He was being overly polite meaning he was still extremely bothered by it.

“Thank you Subaru! You’re a life saver!”

She’ll let him ride it out knowing he won’t listen to any of their assurances until he feels useful, she hopes feeding and serving them drinks will be enough to get him out of his funk.

She grinned as she hopped into the tea room and made a dash for the small kitchen area, she hated the feeling of grime and sweat on her as she scrubbed at her skin. It was turning red from how ferocious she was going at it, she wasn’t satisfied but it would have to do for now as she already begun dreading the walk back down before she could have a proper shower at home.

She changed awkwardly into the yukata, stepping out of the kitchen as she hesitantly asked Haku to help her to ensure it’s properly tied and secured , he was sitting casually against the wall as his eyes widened slightly at her request.

He shot up practically running over as he ‘checked’ her over, taking this more as an excuse to touch her body as wandering hands slid around her waist, sliding down her sides as a slight shiver went through her, his hands lingering always a a couple of second too long as he hummed in appreciation.

“It looks beautiful on you princess.” He whispered into her ear as he swiftly pulled back and retreated to the kitchen to have a quick wash and get changed.

“Ahhh it seems our Haku has turned the charm up for his dear princess, how enchanting it is to see romance spark between two lovebirds.”

Zenji cheered to Subaru, the other giggling as he nodded in agreement, both watching a a tomato red Olivia marched her way to the table collapsing next to them as Subaru placed the custard taiyaki in front of her with a strawberry flavoured tea.

She sipped feverishly at the drink excited for some sort of fluid to revive her, Subaru had got her favourite flavour as well and she’s never wanted to bow and thank the world for Subaru more than this moment.

She was halfway through drinking when Haku walked in making Olivia choke on her drink as he looked absolutely dazzling. The top was loosely tied revealing a peek of his chest, the sleeves were rolled up revealing strong arms and his array of spiritual bracelets, the loose bottoms giving the look a very casual vibe that seems to suit him well, he looked insanely hot and Olivia had to avoid eye contact as she willed her heart to slow down, she thinks she finally understands what he meant by guys wanting to see girls in yukatas; if she got to see Haku in a jinbei everyday she’d feel better about life.

She risked glancing over at him only to find that he’s silently made his way closely next to her, leaning on the table as he waited for her to turn his way. She didn’t know it was possible to feel her blush go so deep it actually burned at her cheeks as he fiddled with one of her sleeves, keeping eye contact as he tiredly smiled at her.

“You look re-really nice Haku.”

She managed to stutter out as she broke the fish shaped snack into two and shoved one half into her mouth.

“Hmmm~my princess is enjoying the view, I guess it’s a bit of tit for tat for earlier.”

He laughed to himself as she looked at him confused, he brought a thumb to her cheek wiping away the crumbs as he brought it to his mouth, licking up the crumbs as she stared at him wide eyed.

“Ahem Haku-Karma and Lyca said they’ll help me move the cart and that they’ll be here in forty minutes…I don’t know if you and Olivia would like to go back to the dorms to get properly washed up? Olivia you can stay the night if you want, we have a guest room available.”

Subaru fiddled with his fingers smiling gently at Olivia as Zenji hummed a tune to himself as he gazed at Olivia for inspiration. Olivia’s eyes sparkled at the idea of having a warm shower and not having to walk back down that evil hill.

“That would be beautiful if I could stay…”

She relaxed a little as she leaned back onto her arms, catching Haku’s eyes as she could already predict what he was about to say.

“Princess if you get lonely you can always stay in my room tonight.”

He winked at her as both Subaru and Olivia sighed in sync, Zenji letting out a bellowing laugh at Haku’s hijinks.

Olivia ate the second half of her snack as she rolled her eyes at him, she could never tell when he was being serious and when he was joking, she was opting for joking on this one.

“Haha, very funny, I’ll wait till Lyca and karma are here before going to the dorms if that’s okay!.”

Haku frowned at her as he really wasn’t joking this time.

They finished their drinks and snacks, the four of them quietly chattering as they waited for the little brother duo.

Zenji even performed the ode he promised making time fly by.

Olivia laying her head onto the table, using her arms as a pillow as the sound of zenji’s soft singing drifted her to sleep.

“Oi Via wakey wakey.”

She was shook awake by an excited Karma who was standing over her smirking with his hands on his hips, squinting at him as she pulled herself up into a standing position fighting hard against her jellified legs, failing as she almost fell over but a pair of strong arms wrapped around her before she could crash and burn onto the floor.

“We should get you back to the dorms Livi.”

Haku sang to her as he promptly scooped her into a princess carry as Karma just rolled his eyes at the two.

Lyca was helping Subaru get ready to pull the cart outside as the three of them walked out the tea room, Zenji checking out the books as he erratically called out the titles of those he wanted to read.

Lyca and Subaru both turned to greet the others, Subaru trying to hide his grin and Lyca looking worriedly at Olivia, who was currently covering her face with her hands.

“You two can sit on the cart if you want…”

Subaru offered trying to help Olivia escape her state of fluster and embarrassment.

“Nah, me and Livi can make our own way~if you guys are chill taking the cart to the dorms?”

Subaru sighed chuckling to himself as he nodded in agreement, Lyca leaning in close whispering something to Subaru as he eyed Olivia and Haku. Subaru laughed even louder, looking adoringly at Lyca;

“She’s not hurt, just tired, she pulled this cart up with Haku earlier and she is only human after all.”

Olivia tried to hide her frown as she leaned onto Haku, who seemed to notice her downward mood.

“Hmmm~we’ll be off, see you soon, we can all hang out in livi’s room right?”

The two groups seperated, Zenji choosing to stay with Subaru’s group as he chuckled at the way karma was openly glaring at Haku.

“AHAHAHA~that’s our Prince Charming whisking away the princess all for himself~”

Haku hurried off with Olivia, smirking back at Karma as he saluted at him causing the angry man to be held back by Lyca as he yelled incoherently at Haku.

“Oi purple hair why can’t you just follow those two and make sure he doesn’t make-“

Subaru looked at karma in surprise as he openly addressed Zenji, who seemed so startled by Karma’s recognition that he floated right up to man’s face eyes wide and curious as Karma didn’t back away.

“You can see him?”

Subaru questioned gently.

“Yeah? Why wouldn’t I?”

Lyca sighed as he grabbed one of the ropes, Karma grabbing the other as he looked at the three of them like they were insane as Zenji started dramatically cackling.

“my friends this will be an entertaining journey!~”

[feralshadowdemon]

6, 12 and 13 !!

omg vik!! hello!! 6 - that i struggled with, but triumphed over the ending to oceans of love and millions of kisses

Even if it takes centuries, even if it takes lives—even if it ends in a different life than the one it began with; whether it is not about a sailor and a sculptor, whether it is not about two men who exchange greetings at a masquerade, whether it is about a horror from the depths and a bringer of darkness and consumer of blood—no matter what life, maybe this one time… a tale can have a truly, happily ever after.  (Key detail: This may not be a fairytale, however Howard Phillips and Bram Stoker would meet again, and again, and again.)

12 - that has a particularly good bit of characterization i really like how i wrote lucy in haku; to vomit, to throw up <3

Agh, damn it! She has to socialize with them? Seriously? She’d rather this end in the best way possible, the best way possible being the rain miraculously stopping and allowing them to continue on with their day. Her long day at work did not help either, sure, she loves her job, but some of the customers need to learn manners. At least the guy buying a bouquet for his girlfriend was nice. She wishes someone bought her bouquets, but now’s not the time to reflect on how single she is, nor does she really want to. What’s the point, anyway? It sours her mood, like lemons. Why did she say lemons— you know what, nevermind. She feels sick, for a moment. It feels like she has a stomachache, but she didn’t eat anything bad today—she feels like something is in her throat, but there shouldn’t be. Subconsciously, she hugs her stomach with one arm, gritting her teeth. She wants to cough, and that phrase—butterflies in your stomach—feels like it’s coming true, but it feels more like flowers blooming in her stomach, she thinks. She hates it. Next thing she knows, she’s coughing, her vision’s sort of blurry, and she thinks they’re both looking at her now. She feels so awkward. This is awkward. If she could just stop—  …Coughing.

13 - that helped me understand a character better the sky may call for you, but i'm the one who deserves you unfortunately let me get inside teen dazai's brain and i Cannot Get Out. this is a call for help

He’s brought out of his thoughts by the stranger screaming. He also screams. This is an awful combination, as Dazai scrambles backwards at the sudden scream, only screaming because he heard screaming, and the stranger almost immediately tries to get to their feet, screaming because, well, this probably was an awful time for them to open their eyes.

(my lovely beta reader called them weird love birds when they read this scene)

[danieyells]

Hi Danie! First of all your work is highly appreciated so thank you very much for feeding us tdb-obsessed people!

I was wondering if besides home screen chats you can access text chats as well. I reached affinity 8 (not very high) with Haku and PC just went with him on a date. I noticed a kind of pattern among texts so perhaps it works that way with all characters? Upgrading the damn affinity takes forever though!

Glad you’re feeling better than yesterday! Chicken & rice is good, please don’t be a Subaru ad eat regular meals (feel free to tell me I should mind my own business) 🫶❤️

Hellohello! It's no problem at all! If not me, someone else would've done it and I've tried to share a bit on how to do it so even if I lose my hyperfixation somebody else can come after me lol. I'm just glad we're all having a good time <:

Yes, I can see character stories! I thought all of the characters had patterns like that as well, but there isn't really one on closer inspection. Most of them have at least one interaction with another character(Romeo yelling at Taiga, Ren getting annoyed at Towa, Subaru apologizing to Haku and Zenji. . .) and two in-person interactions(except Kaito, he has one.) Haku's date, however, is off screen at this point. Maybe an on-screen one will be added at higher affinity.

Somebody asked me to post Jin and Tohma's chats, but it'll take a while because the formatting there is different from the home screen chats and I'm more tired after work or busy with certain things lately haha. Hopefully soonish. I have work homework I may need to buckle down and do on my day off though. . . .

The Affinity 8 chat is usually a prelude to the affinity 10 mini story. A quick overview of the Affinity 10 character stories/chats:

You help Jin while he's sick

You try and give Tohma some paperwork

You have a sort of study date with Kaito in his room

You help Luca with a speech he made for the welcome party the Frostheim general students are throwing him

You follow up on the story mission with Alan

You go to Leo's room to tell him things he asked you to ask Dante

You go to Sho's room to give him a gift from a certain someone

You help Haru make food to wean Peekaboo off of formula

You find Towa tormenting the zipper crocs instead of working

You sneak into Jabberwock late at night to watch a horror movie with Ren in his room

Taiga embarrasses you in public

You help Romeo when he's short staffed due to internal conflicts in Sinostra

You stalk investigate people with Ritsu

You have tea with Subaru

You wrap up the story mission with Haku

You watch Zenji perform in a concert

last I checked the Obscuary ones aren't in yet(probably today, tomorrow, or on release day.) the Hotarubi ones were in a day or two before the chapter came out.

And no worries about talking about whatever personal life things I talk about haha this is my personal blog after all. I try and eat somewhat regularly, but it's a little hard! Definitely doing better than Subaru and Haru though I can at least say that much for sure. . . .

[matsudaqko]

Mini Review: The Unofficial Hatsune Mix

Blog by: MatsudaQko

----------------------------------------

Volumes: 3 (English Version if this manga is an Omnibus)

Genre: Fanfare, Comedy, slice of life

Mangaka: KEI Garou

Rating: 7.5/10

________________________________________

Song 1: The Mangaka and Art Mix

To start, I wanted to talk about the art and the person behind this series, because it's probably one of the more important aspects of this whole thing.

The person who draws Unofficial Hatsune Mix is none other than Kei Garou, who if you don't know, designed and is the artist for the popular digital singer Hatsune Miku.

This manga has of full color illustrations, of which you can find before you get into the reading part of it. (For the English Omnibus Version you find it before in-between transition from one volume to the next before reading.)

Looking at this and then his new art, you'll see just how far this artist has come, and just how much of a glow up he's had since making this back in 2008.

I think it's absolutely awesome that he drew for this, it makes it more special and personal to the character, with how passionate the people behind Hatsune Miku are.

_______________________________________________

Song 2: Story and Layout Mix

There really isn't exactly a all out connecting narrative for this manga, in fact, it's more like 4komma manga, telling diffrent stories and narrative themes each chapter.

All the regular characters, Hatsune Miku and her friends (Kagamine Len and Rin, Megurine Luka, Meiko and Kaito), go on diffrent adventures and take on diffrent roles as you progress through each chapter.

One really cool thing about this is the way the chapters are set up, called songs, which matches up with the theme of using vocaloid characters as the focus of the story.

This story also has a lot of cameos from other recognized and popular characters within the Vocaloid community, such as Vocaloid Kamui Gakupo, Fanloids Akita Neru and Yowane Haku and the very popular Utau Miracle Diva, Kasane Teto. They all play into the story very well and in the same funny and charming way Miku and her other leads do.

It's a very fun read for sure, and definitely something to eat up if your a long time or new Vocaloid Fan!

_______________________________________________

Song 3: Conclusion And personal thoughts Mix

To be honest, I really liked this. It's not particularly the best thing in the world, but it hits me with a special kind of nostalgia, in the same way Tokyo Mew Mew does for me. I enjoyed this a lot being a long vocaloid fan myself and it's a pretty digestible and quick read if you want something to keep you busy while you wait on deciding on a more focused narrative it might be next you wanna tackle.

I'd rate this a good 7.5/10 (as you've probably already seen), just because it's extremely easy going of a read, though most likely won't capture just anyone's attention overall. It's fanfare at its finest, and again, a fun read especially for Hatsune Miku fanatics and vocaloid lovers.

That concludes today's review! I hope you take some time, maybe consider if you wanna take a gander at the Unofficial Hatsune Mix. I hope you have a great day and keep on reading!!

_______________________________________________

MatsudaQko 2023

[kcalsforhim]

thursday 14 november 2024 - 𐙚 ˚🍰 ⋆｡˚⊹❀˖°

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ˚⊹

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ˚⊹

cals : 0

steps : 14.2 k

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ˚⊹

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ˚⊹

i fasted all day today. any time i got hungry i just drank water or distracted myself. i was very emotionally prepared to not eat anything today. i actually weighed myself today and saw i was back down to 50.9 kg even tho i ate THAT food the day before ah… i was decently comfortable i just walked slow. i was VERY tempted to eat a lotus cookie my friend offered me but in the end i did not regret not eating anything after all…

after i got home i got some steps on on the treadmil, mom offered me a pancake but i refused. i had lied to my mom saying me and haku got sushi together before but that was a lie and i reaaaaally wanted a pancake. alas i decided i wouldn’t be having it after all and i asked her to leave me some. i thought originally i will fast for 3 days and.. writing this rn, i totally could, but, im breaking my fast later today (friday) because he brought me some kimchi to try and i dont want it to go bad. i also decided i will just fast or just eat a bit of chocolate if my mom makes dinner i dont like. or just some cucumbers or something… i dont know anymore actually. i need to start sacrificing food more

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ˚⊹

shaking from the cold in these pics, my radiator / heater broke. tonight while sleeping my toes almost froze off

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ˚⊹

i like this song, it’s so cute

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ˚⊹

[heiseidominantation]

Heisei Project -Another Side- "Revolution of Liz's Innermost Heart"

Writer: Zips, Illustration: Nanase

I've been feeling dizzy lately.

I lay down in my usual room and closed my eyes.

Perhaps because of the muddiness, I could only have a second helping of breakfast these days, and I could only sleep for about ten hours at night. That's why I felt sleepy all day and yawned all the time in the classroom. Also, my fortune on the morning news... it was "Bad"... I don't really care about fortune-telling, but it's been stuck in my mind today.

There's another factor that makes Monday even more depressing.

The girl that's seriously an angel, Haku, and the glasses girl, Akari. The three of us have been close since we were children, but for the sake of the "Heisei Snipers," Haku, the leader of the group, and Akari, the staff officer, often have meetings together, and I, who have no merit in doing so, just keep my distance a little far away. Ah, "Heisei Snipers" is the army of justice we created as children, and Haku at that time was only a little naughty and always pulled my shy self... Anyway, seeing them together makes my heart prick. Jealousy. That's not a cute feeling. I'm jealous of Akari. I feel so ashamed of myself for thinking of my childhood friend like that.

I think I'm in love with Haku. No, this feeling is definitely not far from love. But—

"Seriously?"

Liz, the devil in my heart, widened her eyes as if she had been stunned.

"Seriously!"

And Liz, the angel in my heart, answered it confidently, as if she were me. Why are you answering without my permission?

A little angel who only appeared when the little devil was doing something. When they came out, my worries increased more and more and ended up in a mess.

"But you're both women... What about that...?"

"Lislette's ultimate love goes beyond gender! And I think that's wonderful!"

The angel Liz appealed to the devil Liz with a point of cloudy noodles, and the devil Liz faltered at her strange persuasion.

"No, I don't know if that's the case, because it'll be hard..."

"True love is more precious than anything else and more beautiful than goodness itself... Come on! Lislette! If you want to confess, then do it!"

I'm telling this angel chanting, "Right now!" a big NO NO! And the material she's taking from is a little old!

"Yuri in flower language means "clean", "innocent", and "sweet"! "Sweet"! Come on! You're going to go to the sweet world of yuri!"

"That's just what you think! Liz! Don't be confused by what she says!"

"I don't mean to make you feel something you don't want. But you are just a little interested..."

"You're the one that's interested!"

I know being lovers of the same-sex isn't easy, but now I realize I can't do anything about it. But even if I tell Haku about this feeling, she might feel disgusted, or she might not even be able to keep being friends with me like we used to be.

I felt less confident in myself. The more I thought about it, the more I got caught up in the wave of thoughts and emotions, and the more I struggled, the more I sunk. And I couldn't think of anything. I'd rather throw everything away if I could. If my love for Haku and jealousy of Akari disappeared, I would be able to deal with them as well as before, but the reality wouldn't change. This feeling that had sprouted up in my heart had no choice but to drag on.

"Forever and ever?"

My heart turned black. I don't know... I can't do it anymore...

"Hey!"

Ugh! I couldn't breathe because of the shock to my stomach.

"You! Don't paint your heart without me!"

This is bad. This is bad. The devil Liz's attack brought me to my senses, but I almost went the wrong way.

"Haah, I'm just a benefactor, so it's not like it matters to me if Liz is unhappy!"

"You're saying that again~ You're really worried about Lislette!"

"S-Shut up! That's not true! I'm more powerful at a time when she's in a more unhappy situation!"

"Fufufu~"

Ah! Geez! Shut up! You two always, always, say whatever they want, and you never solve anything!

I've already made up my mind. At this rate, I won't be able to take good care of Haku or Akari. Above all, I won't be able to even take care of myself.

"What's wrong with yuri!?"

By the time I began to think so, my body had moved, and I opened the door of the classroom and walked swiftly down to the south crossing. At this time, Haku would often sit on the automatic sales bench under the tree. In her right hand, she held a white hair tie as a charm. Thinking of that, I flew down the stairs. Now I turned the corner with an unused student pay phone. When I crossed this corridor, my heart fluttered at the thought of Haku there, but the muddiness had disappeared somewhere.

I paused, breathed, and ran—

"She's gone, isn't she~?"

"Ah, she was tempted by you in the end..."

"Oh? But it was because of her own will that Lislette started to move."

"Is that so? I can't tell even if we're in the same mind."

"Lislette is a child who can be honest with her own way of thinking."

"And I wonder what will happen in the end."

"No matter what happens, it's the way Lislette chose, so I have to support her!"

"Well, I guess you're right. After all, we're the same Liz!"