#to sad kitty whose tail was stepped on

[bird-inacage]

A Love Sea Gifset | Tongrak + Cat Energy

[beerecordings]

I kinda wanna see more Graceling AU or Bastard Cat AU 👀

oh my gosh someone cares about the graceling au!! I have snippets written of Anti's backstory but never bothered to post them.. and the main story of course is JJ finding Marvin being held prisoner in the keep near to their own. let me see what I can do my dude!

also here, have a snippet from the bastard cats au I never posted!! fair warning it's a little sad, but it is also full of kitties.

Bastard Cats AU: my fluffiest au. Chase has five cats named Anti, Marvin, Jackie, JJ, and Dr. Henrik von Schneeplestein, Ph.D, MD. (One - Chase is having a bad night when he finds a very sick kitten in the gutter.)

Hakim's hands rest on his hip, his lip sticking out slightly and his eyebrows furrowed like two brown cat tails turned away from each other. He pauses as though to speak, but only ends up readjusting and shoving his hands cautiously in his pockets instead. He's looking around the apartment like it was flooded and then shot up and then taken over by the raccoons from the backyard, lounging on the couch with cheese whiz and ham sandwiches.

“Dude,” sighs Chase, feeling the air from his mouth make the end of his overgrown fringe flutter. “Just... it's fine, okay?”

Hakim blinks and, apparently reminded of where he is (or at least who's watching him), he fixes a slightly patronizing veneer of loving warmth back over his face.

“Right,” he says cheerfully. “All good! But uh... some of these are foster cats, right, C?”

“Yes,” answers Chase, a little more sharply than he intended. He crashes onto the couch, rubbing at his face, and instantly Jackie, Marvin, and two of the foster kittens are all stepping into his lap or clawing their way up his pant leg. Jackie sits down on Marvin and Marvin yowls in pure rage.

“Drama queen,” Chase scolds him, nevertheless scratching at his head. “You're fine.”

Hakim steps over and rubs his knuckles against Jackie's head. “Hey, pal. He's getting old now, isn't he?”

“No, Jack got him for me as a kitten,” replies Chase distantly. “He's just fat.”

Jackie sniffs at Hakim's fingers and licks his thumb.

“And the foster kittens?”

Chase points around the room. “There's mama, Texas.”

“Texas?”

“And the kittens are Houston, Austin, San Antonio, and Dallas.”

Hakim snorts. “Okay, fine. And the little grey one?”

Chase chews on his tongue for a second, trying to pick his words carefully.

“It's smaller than the other ones,” Hakim insists, and those hands come back out to rest on his hips again. Suddenly Chase feels like his foster mom has walked into the house to scold him for getting in a fight or leaving his skateboard in the rain.

“That,” says Chase carefully. “Is Jameson.”

Jameson waddles towards him on his kitten paws, letting out those faint, mangled mewls he does that make the other cats look at him like he just announced he was actually a corgi. Chase grins despite himself, letting his hand down for Jameson to smell. His kitten bites his finger gently and Chase can feel his tiny teeth coming in.

“Chase,” says Hakim.

“Look, man,” snaps Chase. “They're just cats, okay? I have the room for them, I have the money – ”

“Fuck, dude, ever since Jack got hit you have a new one every time I stop by!”

“Well, I didn't try to adopt him, okay? He came to me!”

“Came to you.”

“I found him dying and saved him! He's not right, Hakim. Do you know how hard it is to find good homes for disabled cats? He could be put down!”

“I'm so done. I'm so – ”

Hakim cuts himself off, throwing his hands in the air and turning away. Chase scowls after him, not sure why his eyes are suddenly burning. He picks Jameson up and kisses the side of him, stroking his whole body with one hand.

“Next thing you'll be telling me you're keeping all five of these foster cats too.”

“I have all the cats I need and I know that. I'm not fucking crazy.”

“I didn't say you were! I just – C, does it make sense that I'm worried about you?”

“It's not your job to worry about me,” Chase snarls back.

“Well, whose is it?” shouts Hakim. “Huh? I've talked to the others, okay, you never even text anybody, you haven't seen the kids, you shut yourself away in here with the cats and visit Jack three times a fucking week – ”

“Don't you think I would have seen the kids if I could?” Chase demands, and his voice snaps in half like shards of a peppermint between his teeth.

The cats are watching all this like a really good rendition of Hamlet. Jackie's eyes are huge. In the hallway, both Anti and Henrik slink out of the bedroom, looking at him as if to ask: “What's going on that's so worth waking us up for?”

Hakim sits down heavily beside Chase, pushing San Antonio gently out of the way.

“Everybody cares about you, dude,” he says. “Everybody wants to help, everybody wants – ”

“Fuck's sake, can we please for the love of God not have another speech like this?” Chase bites.

Hakim goes quiet again. Chase wishes he felt bad about it, but he doesn't. He's cold even with all the cats curled up close at night. He's cold now with a blanket wrapped around him.

“I brought you some food,” says Hakim roughly.

Chase looks up to see his friend returning to the doorway and picking up a paper bag, coming back to him to show off tupperware full of leftovers and snacks in ziploc bags. “Sarah cooked a ham for Thanksgiving and said since you're American too, I should bring you some. There's some pie and, like, this sweet potato shit with brown sugar. I invited you over, but you never texted me back.”

“Sorry,” whispers Chase, staring down at the bag.

A warm, heavy arm wraps around his shoulders and pulls him closer to Hakim's chest.

“What's wrong, C?” he asks, squeezing Chase against him.

“I don't know, man,” Chase answers, and he wishes his voice didn't shake. “I don't know. I wish Jack would...”

He trails off. They both know.

“Jack couldn't fix all this though, mate. You know that.”

“I know that. But he would make things better.”

“Yeah. He would.” Hakim squeezes him once more and releases. “In the meantime, the rest of us will do our best, okay?”

Chase smiles weakly at him.

He's just everybody's burden to carry.

Except the cats. To the cats, he's food and shelter and warmth and scratches and safety. He loves when there are storms rattling the windows and they all come mewling and calling for him and he can say: “You don't have to worry, goofs, cause I brought you inside, and now you don't ever have to worry about the rain or the cold again.”

“Come over on Saturday for game night,” says Hakim. “Guys will all be there.”

“I'll try.”

“I'm going to come pick you up, how about that? Six. We'll have dinner.”

“Sure... sure, yeah.”

Hakim gets up from the couch. “I'll leave you alone, alright? Well... not alone.”

Chase grins for real at that, chuckling. Marvin rumbles against his thigh. “Never alone, man.”

“Course not. How many is it now, then?”

Chase swallows. “Um... Jameson is number five.”

Hakim's attempt at non-judgement breaks again, just for a moment.

“Fuck, Chase.”

“Yeah... well. Yeah.”

“But yeah, they got everything they need, I guess. Cute, too.”

“Cute as fuck.”

“Okay. Hey, uh. I love you, man.”

Chase grins at his discomfort, watching him shuffle towards the door.

“Pro homo, dude.”

Hakim snorts. “Yeah, dumbass. Pro homo.”

“I love you too, Hakim.”

“Kay. Yeah, you too. Bye. If you need me...”

“I know where you are.”

“Yeah.”

He's gone, disappearing out the door with an uncertain smile.

Chase slumps back on the couch, closing his eyes.

Someone baps at his nose, clicking curiously.

Chase smiles at Jackie, sinking his fingers into his hot red fur.

“Yeah, you're right, big man,” says Chase, scooping him up and disengaging everybody else scattered across his lap. “We got things to do, huh? Medicine, entertaining the kittens, looking for forever homes, making sure Anti hasn't torn the laundry into shreds again... we got lots to do. And we got everything right here, don't we? Yeah. We don't ever gotta worry about the rain or the cold again.”

.

Anti sits on the floor of the kitchen, purring loudly, his eyes squinted in the sort of way that can only be described as smug whether you're a cat or a human.

“Anti! Where is he?”

He can hear Jameson's little broken mewls coming from somewhere, he just doesn't know where.

“I've seen you trying to pick him up by the scruff and shove him through the window. If you touched him, Anti, I will stick you in the laundry room so fast!”

Anti flops against the floor with great self-satisfaction, rumbling.

The cats have gotten into a lot of places and Chase knows the usual hiding spots (and the getting-stuck spots), but he's checked everywhere he can think of and he still doesn't see the kitten. Maybe it's louder over here? He pauses in the silence and listens.

There's a faint rustling noise from the cabinets of the island counter. But he checked inside the cupboards and behind the roll-out trash can.

Wait a second.

Chase yanks out the trash can and looks inside, shoving aside an empty bag of Doritos and a carton of spoiled milk.

“Meh,” rasps Jameson.

“Anti!”

The sound of Chase shouting and Anti's nails scraping against the kitchen as he sprints away at top speed almost blocks out the noise of Chase's phone buzzing on the counter. He's washing nacho cheese and garbage off a bewildered Jameson when he realizes it's going off.

In the midst of the chaos, he answers it without thinking.

“Hi,” she says.

He almost drops the phone. “Ah, yeah, hi,” he answers. Yep, completely intentional, answering this. Totally ready to talk. Jameson sneezes against his other hand. Yuck. But cute too.

“I was just... checking in.”

“Yeah, well, the ball's in your court, Stace, isn't it? So not a lot of point to checking in unless you got something new to say.”

She sighs through her nose. He hates that noise. It always meant trouble, even when they were together.

“Have you been drug testing?”

He scowls, shoving the phone between his head and his shoulder as he places Jameson under the warm water flowing from the tap.

“No.”

She's quiet for a second. “Going to therapy?”

“No,” he replies, nastier.

“Okay, well, that's checking in,” she says bitterly.

“You can check my drug tests anytime on the website,” he returns.

“Wondered if you'd try to lie to me.”

He hangs the phone up bitterly and, in doing so, accidentally drops it on the floor. A hissing, irritated breath escapes from between his teeth.

About two seconds later, Anti is sprinting into the room to steal it, his teeth gripping the plastic phone cover, and he leaps away again, yowling with delight as he disappears into his closet in the back of the house and adds his new toy to the pile of stolen things.

“Yeah, keep it!” yells Chase. “Little punk.”

Marvin wafts up to his legs in an angelic counterimage of his brother, letting his fluffy tail stroke against Chase's thighs, blinking huge blue eyes up at him.

“I don't have food, Marv,” grumbles Chase, showing him the kitten. “It's just Jameson.”

Marvin scrunches up his nose in disgust and wafts away again.

Chase rubs at his head. “I'm a fucking waste of a human being, aren't I?”

Nobody's there to answer him aloud. But Jameson shifts forward in his palm and begins gently licking at his wrist with a tiny, rasping tongue.

.

“He's just... not quite right, you know?”

Dr. Henrik – the human one – examines Jameson's milk-fat belly and batting paws, turning him about in his hands. “Looks like you're taking good care of him.”

“Yeah, course. He's a sweetie. Like Jackie when I first adopted him, just wants to be with me all the time. But look, that – ”

Jameson opens his mouth as if to mewl, but all he really does is rasp and click his teeth at the vet.

“And he doesn't walk quite right.”

Dr. Henrik sets Jameson down. The kitten toddles towards Chase, dragging his back legs a little.

“Well, his x-rays are normal. When he gets a little older, we can do some genetic testing and that sort of thing, if you'd like. He might have some muscle problems or something. But maybe he's just... a little unusual.”

Chase regards Jameson unhappily, petting his tiny back.

“He won't get very big,” adds the vet.

“No?”

“No. I think he's a small breed. Maybe even a munchkin. Maybe that is why he walks like this.”

Chase chuckles. “Really?”

“Yeah. Cute.”

“The others will pick on him...”

“Psh. He is strong enough to survive a chilly night in the gutter, he is strong enough to put up with the rest of the little brats.”

Chase laughs, picking his kitten up and placing him in his lap. “Yeah. My tough guy.”

Dr. Henrik smiles at him, brown eyes warm. It's that same warmth that made Chase trust in him when he first met him with that sick, injured white cat who became his Henrik. It's never faded.

“Chase,” he says, taking off his reading glasses and sitting down. “There are adopters who might want him, you know. You could send him with the foster kittens you have now. Someone would love him.”

Chase looks up in surprise, already shaking his head before Dr. Henrik is done talking. “This is my cat, doc! My Jameson! And look how attached he is.”

Jameson is kneading holes in Chase's sleeve, purring sleepily against his stomach.

“It's just.” Henrik pauses, thinks, restarts. “It's just that I don't want you to feel as though you must keep him simply because you are the only one who can care for him. There are others who would care for him just as well as you do.”

“I was the only one who could save him,” Chase challenges. “And what if he turns out to be a special needs cat, you know? Who's going to love him then?”

“Chase, people take care of all kinds of cats. You are not the only one with a soft spot for a kitten who's a little out of the ordinary. You get very attached, Chase. And that's wonderful, and very sweet! But... don't take on too much.”

“We're fine,” murmurs Chase, scratching Jamie's ears. “I won't get anymore. I just want him. And there's only really four, because Anti is Jack's. So when he wakes up, he'll want him back, and there will only be four.”

Dr. Henrik just looks at him, pushing his glasses up on his nose. He turns back to his clipboard a moment later.

Something burns in the back of Chase's throat.

“How long has your friend been asleep for?” asks the vet, not looking at him.

Chase swallows and clenches his hands together, then lets them go again. He closes his eyes.

“Chase?”

“When he wakes up, he'll want Anti back,” he says. “So... it's just four cats.”

Dr. Henrik nods at him. JJ meanders into his hoodie pocket and Chase puts his hands around his little hot-water-bottle body, and keeps him safe right there, right there, right there.

“Take care of yourself, Chase,” says Dr. Henrik.

“Yeah,” croaks Chase. “Yeah, I'm trying.”

“Sometimes it's easier to take care of someone else than yourself,” Henrik tells him.

Chase nods tersely and leaves the room, picking up JJ's carrier. “Thanks for everything. We're fine. I'll come back for a follow up.”

At home, he slides to the ground, almost overwhelmed for a moment, but he isn't alone. All his cats – and Jack's – run up to him, asking for something or another, rubbing up against his body. Chase grabs Anti, ignoring an indignant yowl, and pulls him to his stomach, leaning over him to kiss his grimy head. Anti grumbles and bites at his fingers.

“Yeah, there's my trouble-maker,” Chase mumbles, petting his back. “But you don't have to worry, little man, because once Jack wakes up...”

Once Jack wakes up. Once Jack wakes up. Chase's phone is buzzing. He doesn't answer it. Anti licks the places on his fingers where blood is welling up.

[theterribleblueglove]

The Beatles as Cats

Summary: 

Paul: Lap cat

John: Asshole cat

George: Mellow cat

Ringo: Cat with his head stuck in the popcorn bag

Breed: 

Paul: Tuxedo kitty, who gives his coat roughly five washings per hour. 

John: Deceptively beautiful tabby, Siamese or white cat, with a pristine coat 

George: Main Coon 

Ringo: Tiny skinny little cat with big sad looking eyes and a ringed tail 

Mew: 

Paul: Tiny, cute little “Meew?” And coos a lot 

John: Deceptively soft mew, surprisingly loud screech and hiss 

George: Rarely makes any noise besides a loud long purr. When he does, his mew is low and scratchy, but chillax.  

Ringo: Low odd voice that causes some to tell you “I think your cat might be broken…” 

At meals…

Paul: Waits patiently for his bowl like a dear, sits under your chair looking up at you with big doey eyes while if you’re eating fish or chicken, spends two hours licking himself clean afterwards. When feeling naughty, he’ll dip his paw into a glass of milk someone foolishly left out, and lick it off. 

John: Has his face in the other cat’s bowls, and in yours, even if you’re sitting right there. 

George: Eats half of what he’s given, might lie across the kitchen table without showing any interest at all in your food, though on occasion may try to taste inanimate objects if bored 

Ringo: Has no interest in any of the chicken, tuna, or cat treats you offer him, but goes absolutely batshit for cheese, eats corn on the cob like a typewriter, snatches a bagel from the toaster, and drinks out of the dripping faucet. 

Where you got him:

Paul: A farm, whose owners couldn’t provide for all these kittens but wanted to ensure they got good homes 

John: A neighbor, who begrudgingly took in her relative’s cat when they moved, and was all too happy to dump him on you. 

George: He just wandered into your house one day and never left.

Ringo: The (In)Humane Society was going to put him down due to all of his health problems, until you stepped in at the last minute. This cat is indestructible. 

Favorite places to sleep: 

Paul: Next to you in your bed, in a basket of blankets, or next to the fireplace 

John: On your face, on your laptop, on the picture you’re working on, in your favorite chair right when you need it, or in the fireplace if you were planning to start up a Christmas fire

George: Sprawled out across the kitchen floor, or several stairs 

Ringo: Your face, the chimney, the dishwasher, the sink

When not sleeping or eating, he can be found…

Paul: Prowling gracefully through the back yard, in the bushes with the neighbors’ female cats, or rubbing his scent on every wall and piece of furniture in the house. 

John: Knocking breakables off shelves, destroying your furniture, unraveling the toilet paper, trotting across the piano or computer keyboard while you’re trying to play or type.  

George: Nibbling the flowers; strumming the sitar you left sitting against the wall 

Ringo: Licking the photographs in your opened scrapbook, teaching himself how to open locked doors with his paws, leaping a mile in the air at the sight of a cucumber on the floor, intently watching the toy train go in circles 

Try to pick him up…

Paul: He curls right into your arms 

John: Draws blood, lots of it

George: He’s the kind of cat that sticks to the floor until you’ve lifted him completely off of it, and dangles over your arm folded in half

Ringo: Bites, but as soon as you seem to lose interest in him and start doing some other task, bounds up to sit on your shoulder or your head. 

You had to take him to the vet when…

Paul: He ran into the road without looking both ways. The kids are suspicious that the cat you brought back might not be the same “Paul” as before. 

John: A sick psycho with a BB gun shot him

George: A health problem you knew nothing about (because he was a stray) cropped up

Ringo: …the day ends in a “Y”, pretty much. But he’s the indestructible kitty, and always makes a kickass comeback. 

When presented with a large body of water…

Paul: Curiously dips his paw in, then backs away, unless he’s thirsty

John: Say goodbye to your nipples

George: Will mellowly let you wash him

Ringo: Starts doggy-paddling across the pool 

Getting along with the other cats…

Paul: Fights a lot with John, and is overall surprisingly territorial. 

John: Fights the most with Paul, tends to pick on everyone–especially Ringo–but plays with them just as often

George: Often gives baths to Ringo

Ringo: Tends to be distracted by the other cats’ tails or flicking ears, and goes chasing and pouncing. George and Paul often allow this, John not so much. Will snuggle with whichever cat lets him, most often George. 

[talix18]

November 19

(Fiction)

I know it’s my house – I know that I live here, but I have no emotional attachment to the place at all. The landscaping is half-hearted at best – black mulch with a few flowers whose tops have already become deer food. There are sticks piled everywhere – next to the wood pile, next to the shed, and filling a trash can at the back of the driveway. At least the siding on the house is new. That’s all I notice before Mom has the patio door open and I follow her in. This *is* a great patio, I think as she opens the back door, and I have visions of my two gray cats lounging in the sunlight. The two gray cats are standing in the dining room watching us. I haven’t been home for a few weeks but Mom’s been taking care of them, so they know the sound of her car. When they see me, they get excited. Their tails are twitching, Lily is making little cooing noises, and Jack waits to see where I’m going to settle so he can be at my side. It’s easy to be loving with them; I like animals better than most people.

“Where do you want to set up – in bed or on the couch?” Mom asks. “The couch, I think,” I answer. “The bed probably needs clean sheets.”

“Do you want me to change them for you?”

I chuckle. “I think I’m up to changing the sheets, Ma.”

“What about food? I brought you some chili and some vegetable soup but I imagine the refrigerator is empty…”

“But the freezer isn’t; neither is the pantry. I certainly have enough pasta and tuna fish to get me through until I go to the store.”

Mom sighs. I grab my phone charger and tablet from the bedroom and settle on the couch. “Are you sure I can’t get you anything?” she asks.

“Mom, I’m fine. I just want to snuggle with my cats and breathe for a little while. I promise I’ll let you know if there’s something I need.”

She scratches Jack’s head – he’s already jumped on the couch at my feet.“Okay. I’ll go. I’m sure it feels good to be home.”

Feel? I’m not sure I feel anything about being here, but it will be refreshing to have some alone time. “It does. I’m sure we’ll be fine.” Mom kissed my forehead. “I’m sure you will. Remember I have my kitties tomorrow but I’ll be home after that. Do you think you’re going to go to your home group?”

I thought about it. “Don’t see why not. Assuming I’m not asleep. It will be good to get out.”

“Probably. Don’t push yourself. Call me if you need anything.” Mom went over to Lily, who’d taken her place on top of the cat tower. “Take care of your mommy. I’ll see you later.” Mom threw her tote bag over her shoulder and walked to the back door. “Mom?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you. For everything.”

Mom shrugged, but I could see her eyes fill. “That’s what moms are for.” She pulled the back door closed behind her.

I looked around. “Well,” I said to Jack, who was looking up at me. “Here we are.” I looked around the room at the bookcases crowded with books and tchotkes, the unfinished floors, the dusty TV stand, and sighed. I laid back and picked up my phone to see what was happening on the Internet, scrolled comments for a few minutes, put it back down and closed my eyes. Now what?

--------------------------------------------------

I woke up about an hour later – the sun was close to setting, so I got up and turned some lights on. I thought about unpacking, but couldn’t stop looking around at the disarray I’d left behind. Vacation souvenirs strewn across the desk and dining room table, bare nails on the walls, and so much stuff. SO much stuff.

It wasn’t that I had forgotten my life, exactly. I knew in my head I was a collector and a saver and ridiculously sentimental, and I could picture my house in my mind before I got home. I knew what I would be walking into. I didn’t know how I’d react to it – I was almost uncomfortable. Disgusted, even. I couldn’t remember ever feeling comfortable there – how could I with all the clutter? All the chaos? Why didn’t it bother me before?

Because that was Before, I told myself. Before the break, Before the treatment, Before they turned my brain off and on, hoping to break the hold my depression had on me. Before the hospital, Before the study, Before the blackness.

And this was After.

My depression had been part of me my entire life – I don’t remember ever not feeling sad around the edges or overly concerned about death or loss or just feeling things way too deeply. I never felt like I fit in at school, despite having friends and getting – well, grades – and graduating and going to college. I was always wondering what I should be doing and saying to look normal to everyone else, sure that I was giving myself away somehow. As what? I didn’t know. It was just that everyone around me went through their days making it look easy and it was so damn hard for me just to get out of bed.

It got worse as I got older, but I was also hungover a lot of the time. I was a late bloomer, but filled my college years and those immediately after with plenty of pot and alcohol. The pot made it easier to sit still in my own skin; the alcohol shut my mind off entirely. Especially once I started taking antidepressants. They tell you not to drink on those things, but no one told me my body would continue to function long after my consciousness had switched off. Luckily the police stopped me before I did any damage to anyone else, and the idea of a year behind bars was enough to scare me straight.

But my depression was still there. Twenty years and twelve steps didn’t take that away. Neither did talking or med changes or EMDR. And it was getting worse – now I was twenty years older and not so confident in my ability to make someone love me or even like me. I had plenty of acquaintances and even some good friends but still felt fundamentally alone. Everyone I knew was married or had kids and always had something to do. I did everything alone. It became easier to just do nothing.

Just leaving the house became work – something I made myself do because I was supposed to. I was supposed to show up at work to earn the money that paid the mortgage and kept the lights on and made me look like a productive member of society. I felt like a robot that didn’t have the luxury of being on autopilot. I gave myself directions in small bits: Go into the bathroom. Open the medicine chest. Pick up the toothbrush and toothpaste. Turn the water on. Put the toothpaste on the toothbrush. Brush your teeth. Upper and lower, inside and outside, gums and tongue. Rinse the brush. Clean your retainers. Rinse them off. Rinse off the toothbrush and put it back. Rinse your mouth out. Wipe your face. There. Was that so bad?

Yes, actually, it was that bad, and it was exhausting having to coax myself through every step of every day. And that was doing the bare minimum. Washing dishes, scooping litterboxes, taking showers, doing laundry, going to the grocery store – just enough to keep everything looking normal to everyone else. I rarely invited people over to my house because I was ashamed of the chaos, but never had the energy or motivation to do anything about it. I wanted my house to be cozy and inviting, but as the disorder escalated, it became harder to think about reversing. The broken dresser drawers sat on the floor in the middle of the bedroom. The furniture from the spare room stayed piled in the front. The hole in the wall in the spare room stayed unpatched.

And then I just stopped. I stopped walking myself through every step of every day. I stopped doing the laundry until I had literally nothing left to wear and then it never got put away. I stopped washing dishes and grocery shopping and defaulted to pizza and Chinese food. I stopped looking in the mirror at what I was wearing before I went to work. I stopped going to meetings. I didn’t want to use, because using meant not showing up for the people who loved me. I just didn’t want to do anything else either. My psychiatrist tried switching my meds around and I kept taking everything as prescribed until that became too much work too. Once I quit my meds the spiral was quick – I called out of work for a week and didn’t leave my house or answer the phone and cried when I realized I hadn’t emptied the litter boxes all week.

They were supposed to keep me from letting go – they needed me to take care of them and didn’t ask to be here. I still cared about their comfort. I cried and said I was sorry and finally called my mother and begged her to come do it for me. She and my step-father walked into my house, saw the state it was in, and got scared. “Have you been taking your meds?”

“No,” I wailed. Then we were in the car and in the emergency room and finally in the psych ward. Once my mother started crying so did I. I couldn’t stop crying even when the snot was running down my face. I didn’t stop crying until they left me there in the hospital bed, hooked up to saline and pumped with something that switched everything to flat. This was it. I no longer had any choices. I had finally let go. And it was almost a relief.

[not-all-that-chic]

A Summer With You

Yoongi x Reader [Hybrid!AU]

“ Nearing my graduation, the stress of being alone when the time comes forces me to make a decision: befriending a hybrid. ”

trans. | I want this one to last forever.

genre | Angst, Fluff

wordcount | 10.8k

warnings | language, sexual themes, implied rape, abuse, character death

rec. track | ♫ ♩

The phone rang a few times. I chuckle at my friend; she never picks up. Finally, she answers and she breaths into the line.

"Did you run to the phone again?"

"Okay. Let me explain."

I laugh.

"So, I was jamming to my ringtone hella hard. Cause you know how Skyway is my favorite song."

"It is. Uh-huh."

"So then I realized, wait, that's my phone ringing! So I ran— but I picked up!"

"It's okay," I sigh into the phone. Typical of her. "I actually wanted to ask where you got Peanut from."

"My dog?"

"Yeah, your dog Peanut."

"It's on the Gangju and Huanghe intersection. It's a really nice pet store-"

And I wince.

"—Okay I know you hate pet stores, but I'm just saying that's where I got Peanut from. My dad came and bought him for me as a birthday gift."

"I wanted to go to a shelter to get a pet. Not a pet store."

"I totally understand that! But recently, with all the hybrids being thrown into shelters, full-blown animals are getting less frequent in shelters."

"That's horrible. Both the fact they're euthanizing innocent animals for space and the fact they have humanoids in animal shelters." I frown.

Ever since scientists discovered a way to cross humans and animals, hybrid pets have become the norm. And the problem with that is that although they don't have the intelligence of humans, they shouldn't be treated so horribly.

On top of that, over half of the hybrids are born with defects and live about as long as their animal counterparts. It's disgusting. I would go as far as to say that they shouldn't exist, for their own sake.

"I think you should get a pet. You've been stressed right?"

"Yeah. I'm close to graduating and I'm really panicking over my thesis."

"Maybe you should just get a boyfriend. Bet that would help."

I blush.

"Okayyyy. Bye." I hold the phone in front of my face.

"Bye~"

After hanging up, I look around my decorated and furnished apartment, but then realize despite its fullness, it feels empty. Maybe I should check out that pet store she talked about. With that in mind, I grab my keys, lock the door and go to my car.

As I drive to the store, I ponder. Who exactly gave scientists the bright idea to create hybrids? Humans and animals have evolved differently, so why combine them? The hybrids are entirely dependent on humans, like dogs or cats, but much more pricey and difficult to care for.

Not to mention how fetishized they are in the media or fiction. Why on Earth would someone want to have sex with a hybrid? It's just...unethical.

And that's not even the worst of it.

Before I know it, I've arrived at the store. The Flower Pot. A name much more fitting for a floral shop than a pet store.

I'm greeted at the entrance: "Welcome to the Flower Pot! Where friendship grows!" A boy with a boxy grin practically screams at me.

I suppose that's where they get the name. Not resisting my curiosity, I explore the well kept and cute store. The floors have a cute, sparkly confetti pattern and each section is labeled with a scripted, pink sign. It's cute. I find myself smiling at the fish tanks with soft pink sand beds.

I tap a glass with a bright yellow fish. It swims away, kicking up little bubbles. In another tank, there's a small, lime-green salamander.

"Need some help?" I jump at the voice. When I turn around, I'm greeted by a tall and kind looking boy. His name tag reads 'Jungkook'. He's smiling, looking like a bunny himself.

"Oh. I'm looking for a companion."

"Okay! Follow me then please!" He walks quickly and I'm almost left behind. I speed past a few cat cages until we reach the back of the store. There are at least ten glass containers lining the walls.

All of which holding hybrids. I nearly vomit. I feel sick just watching them. Jungkook motions me forward. One of the hybrids jumps forward, his cute, black kitty ears standing up.

"Hello! I'm Jimin!" Surprisingly, he talks! Why are such intelligent...creatures being held captive in enclosed spaces?!

"I'm sorry, Jungkook, but I'm not interested in a hybrid."

"What?" He asks, eyes wide. "Why not?"

"I don't think a hybrid should be enclosed in a space barely big enough to fit a dog. I also think it's wrong to have them as pets. It's inhumane." He smiles.

"I completely agree, but my friend told me something once. Uhhh," he pauses, trying to remember.

"Oh right! "If you take one and treat it how it should be, then that's one less hybrid being treated badly." Or something like that." He rubs his neck and chuckles.

That's an incredible point. If everyone were to take that initiative, maybe hybrids could begin to live well. Or at least better than they are currently.

"Jungkook!"

"Oh! Sorry. Taehyung is calling me. I'll be right back, okay, Miss?" He doesn't wait for me to respond as he runs to the front of the store.

As soon as I return my attention back to the wall, Jimin is smiling at me patiently.

"Your name is Jimin, right?"

"Yes. You're really pretty and smart. Can you please take me home?" His eyes are wide and sparkly. That's too cute. And really shocking. Something slams against the glass on the container to Jimin's left.

"No! Take me home! Please please please please please-" I walk in front of the container, and the dog hybrid's tail wags wildly. His face and smile instantly brighten.

"Hello. What's-"

"I'm Hoseok! It's so nice to meet you! You're so nice! And your hands look soft! Can I touch your hand please?!" His energy catches me by surprise, but I smile and reach a hand forward into one of the little holes in front of him.

The Golden Retriever hybrid eagerly shoves his head under my hand. I giggle at his reaction.

"Wow wow wow! I'm right! Please take me home! I hate being in this box! I wanna run around and lay down on your bed so you can pet me some more—PLEEEAASEEE?!"

The reality hits me once again. These hybrids are captive. They want to leave so badly. I step back and remove my hand. Hoseok whines, but eventually just sits down. They're probably used to being rejected.

On Hoseok's left is an empty box. Beside Jimin there is a sleeping dog hybrid of a larger breed. German Shepard by the looks of it. For the most part, the containers are empty. I assume it's because people have already adopted them. To a good home, I hope.

A furry tail at the very end catches my attention. I walk to it and notice this container is far away from the others. Inside, the hybrid flinches upon seeing me and backs deeper into the corner.

His build is significantly smaller than the others. He's as skinny as a stick. Now I see his tail is patchy and missing fur in some areas, where the skin looks more like a human's skin than an animal's skin. The ears are huge— almost as big as his head — and split at the tip. While the inside of the ears is furless and an angry red color. And his eyes are black and beady, to the point I can't see the pupil.

A mutated hybrid, no doubt. He looks frail and he knows it. I hold back my angry tears and kneel down, to appear less scary.

"Hi," I tell him my name and make my voice as small as possible. He watches me, silent and cautious.

"Hi," he responds. The smile on my face is warm and I'm sure he can feel it.

"What's your name?"

"...Yoongi."

"It's nice to meet you, Yoongi." His body relaxes and he uncurls his legs. The clothing on his body are clean, but they look old. And he doesn't have shoes on.

I scoot closer to him and reach my hand out. He quickly gets defensive, eyes wide, as his back tries to swallow the wall.

"I promise I won't hurt you, Yoongi." He blinks multiple times and furrows his brows.

Finally, he creeps forward, just enough for me to brush the tip of my fingers against his ears. They're the softest thing I've ever touched. He shivers and his eyes are wide in wonder. Despite his weird appearance and mutated genes, he's cute. Someone like Yoongi doesn't belong here. None of these hybrids do.

"Can I ask what you are?"

"...Chinchilla." My mouth gapes in shock. I've never heard of a Chinchilla hybrid. He notices my expression. "Is that...bad?"

"No!" He flinches at my pitch and I quickly apologize. "It's not bad at all. You're really special." His eyes take me in as if I'm the greatest thing to exist. I blush. He raises his hand toward the glass, but before he does—

—Yoongi backs away from my hand.

"Find any you want to adopt?" Jungkook comes running back, his Timberland's stomping with each step. Once I look back to Yoongi, he's back to his corner, as if nothing happened.

"I-"

"Yoongi? Did you like Yoongi?" The employee sounds like he's going to burst. I look back to Yoongi. His eyes have changed as we share eye contact.

"Yes."

"W-wow! That's great! Did you hear that Yoongi?! Someone's taking you home!"

"Why do you sound so excited?" His expression changes as he motions me away from Yoongi's cage.

He whispers, "Yoongi has been here for a very long time."

"How long?" Jungkook's sad smile tells me everything.

"Since he's a mutated and frail hybrid, no one has wanted to adopt him. He's very quiet, too."

It makes tears gather in my eyes. People are so cruel. Yoongi may have some defects, but he's never had contact with anyone outside of that cage. His shyness is a result of his lack of interaction. How could he possibly be at fault?!

"What about the other hybrids?"

"NamJoon is that sleeping hybrid-" he points to the dark-haired dog hybrid "-Is scheduled for an adoption tomorrow."

"How long has he been here?"

"About a month. It takes longer for hybrids to get adopted. As for Hobi and Jimin, they've been here for two weeks. But they're so friendly, they could be adopted any time soon."

Frowning, I look back to Yoongi, whose eyes haven't left mine. I don't understand animals— or even humans —much, but I can tell Yoongi doesn't want to be here anymore.

"Can I adopt him?"

"Yoongi? Of course! He's $1,000." My jaw drops at the price.

"What?"

"That's extremely cheap for a hybrid. Most average hybrids go for around $5,000. The rare ones anywhere from $10,000 and up."

"Is it because he's mutated?" Jungkook looks melancholic when he nods.

"He's also very old for a Chinchilla. After all, hybrids take the lifespans of the animal." Clenching my teeth, I grip my shirt angrily.

"I'm a college student. I can't afford that..."

"...It's okay. Don't feel bad. You can come to visit him anytime. Just... don't tell my boss I let you, okay? She would have my ass." After he finishes whispering, he goes over to Jimin's cage and pets the cat hybrid.

I sigh and stuff my hands in my pockets. I'm so sorry Yoongi. Checking the time, I realize it's time for me to go study. Giving Yoongi one last look, I wave.

He jumps— cute —and waves back.

"I'll be back, Yoongi. I promise."

My day consisted of boring lectures and an empty evening shift. Time seemed to have passed at a snail's pace. I— for some reason beyond my own consciousness —was anxious to see Yoongi again. Maybe I pitied him, for having lived so long in those glass containers. Alone. Never played with. And in his final years of life. I can't be certain the other hybrids were adopted into good families.

But something is better than nothing.

I grip the steering wheel tightly and sigh. Yoongi was not ugly. He was cheap. Maybe soft-spoken, but he is bound to make someone happy.

My feet tap on the wet concrete. The door jingles from the rusted bells above. The Flower Pot. Sad in its name, as if hiding the fact it kept hybrids. At the counter was Taehyung again.

"Oh! Welcome back! Are you here to see Yoongi?"

"Yes." His face softens.

"That's so nice of you. What's your name?" I tell him my name and smile.

"I'm Taehyung, but you could just read my name tag to find that out. Thanks for coming back. You're welcome here any time." Nodding, I stuff my keys into my pocket and walk to the back where the hybrids are.

Jimin is gone. Did someone adopt him? Hoseok greets me happily, letting out a bark-like sound.

"Oh oh oh oh! You're back! I'm so happy! Welcome back! Can you pet me?! Please? I missed you!" It's fascinating how animal-like hybrids are. But so much more intelligent.

"Sure, Hoseok." I pet his soft hair and his leg hits the wall.

"I'm okay! I do that by accident. Sorry."

"It's okay. And can I ask you something?"

"Of course, but please keep petting me!" He closes his eyes, his huge tail thumping against the wall and his leg shaking.

"What happened to Jimin?" His tail falters and his eyes open, reflecting something sad.

"He got adopted yesterday..."

"What's wrong?" I ask, sympathetic. Seeing this bright pup so upset squeezes something inside me. His ears flatten on his head.

"The man that adopted him kept pulling on his collar. And his d-daughter..." tears prickle his eyes.

"Shh, it's okay. You don't have to tell me anything." I gently run my fingers through his hair. He shakes his head and leans toward my hand.

"N-no. I can do it. His daughter, she was grabbing him."

"How so?"

"Grabbing his...pee pee." I feel bile in my throat.

"I'm sorry..."

"It's not your fault. Jimin... he was so sad. I don't want him to be used like a... sex doll." Before I know it, a tear trickles down my cheek.

"I wish I could have done something." Hoseok smiles up at me with hope.

"I know you would have. I can tell." Hoseok touches his chest. "You have a big heart."

Choking on a sob, I lean my head against the glass. Hoseok does the same.

"I wish it could be better. Hybrids are people too. You don't deserve this..." Hoseok starts making a strange rumbling noise. Not a purr, but like a soft growl. It's not comforting, but it's his effort that counts.

"Bonding with Hobi, huh?" I jump and turn around. Jungkook. Embarrassed, I stand up and look anywhere except him. "Hey! No need to be shy. Me and Tae talk to them, too."

"Oh. That's good of you guys."

"I'm really really happy you came back to see Yoongi. And Hobi, too, now since Jimin and NamJoon are gone." When I look back at the containers, only Hobi and Yoongi are left. The latter of which I hadn't noticed. But he's watching me, awe written all over his face, hands pressed against the glass.

It's as if he couldn't believe I would come back.

"I have a question."

"Shoot."

"Where do you guys find the hybrids?" Jungkook brings his finger to his chin in thought.

"I'm not sure. Only my boss knows that. But by the end of the month, these containers are occupied again. Well, except the hybrids that aren't adopted." Frowning, I think back to Yoongi.

"How long has Yoongi been here, exactly?"

"Sorry. Confidential. My boss tells me I can't tell the customers Yoongi's age." He rubs his neck with an awkward smile.

I shift my weight on my leg and cross my arms. This boss of his must be a horrible person.

"Why?"

"It makes him more appealing to buy, not that it has ever worked. When I tell you Yoongi has been here a long time, I mean a long time. You can't imagine." Tears prick at the corner of my eyes. There's no way no one has never shown interest in Yoongi. It's unfathomable. I look back at the hybrid who is sitting there fiddling with some hairs on his tail— cute.

"Sorry. I just-"

"It's okay. It's okay. I was like that, too, when I got hired." He sighs and turns around. "Listen, I gotta go restock the shelves. You have a good night."

"Thank you. You, too." When he leaves, I turn toward Yoongi. His eyes widen when I look at him. Smiling, I go to sit in front of his container. He curls into himself, making himself smaller.

"Hi, Yoongi."

"Hi..." I come closer to the glass and he looks down.

"How are you?"

He blinks, mouth opening and closing before giving me a simple, "Okay."

"Really? Tell me about your day?" He vigorously shakes his head and brushes his tail. "No? How about I'll tell you about mine, then you tell me about yours?" Yoongi considers it a while and eventually nods.

"I had a really boring day. I sat in a class all day and then my work was empty. There weren't any customers."

"Was it...big?" His question caught me off guard.

"The class?" He nods. "Yeah! It's like the size of five of this store."

His mouth opens wide, a cute sound of awe escaping. It makes me smile.

When I first met Yoongi, I thought he would be more aggressive, but he's so gentle and adorable.

"So what about you, Yoongi?" He jumps, probably still thinking about how big the class was.

"Me?"

"Yeah. Tell me about your day."

The hybrid looks down. Something unintelligible is said under his breath. If my ears don't deceive me, he just whispered, "It's not important..."

"Of course it's important. Your day was really important. I think it's important." He grips his tail again.

"I slept."

"What did you dream about?" Yoongi whips his head up toward me. His eyes blow out and suddenly he squirms. I see his Adam's apple bob as he places his hand on the glass. I put mine on the glass above his hand.

"Oh. Ah... I can't tell you."

"Why not?" I put my hands on my hips playfully. He leans against the glass.

"C-can you..." his words trail off shyly.

"Hm?"

He shifts around and quickly blurts, "Can you pet me like you pet Hoseok?" It takes me a moment to understand what he's asking, but when I do, I smile softly.

"Yoongi, you're really cute." And unexpectedly, he sputters in embarrassment.

"W-why?" Once I pet his head, he starts shaking.

"Because you're so sweet and well-mannered. And physically, you're cute." He leans into my hand further and finally, I can really feel the softness of his hair and ears. Chinchillas really are soft. His face is practically pressed against the glass. And his whole body seems to react to my touch. It's fascinating to watch him slowly warm up to me.

My watch ruins the moment as it beeps loudly. Yoongi jumps away with a small squeak— so darn cute —as I look down. I frown when I realize it's time for me to leave.

"Sorry, Yoongi. I have to leave." As I begin standing up, his hand reaches out of the hole to grab my sleeve. But I suppose it was a thing of the moment since he retracted it as soon as it came. Judging by his uncertain expression, I know what is worrying him.

"I promise I'll be back again tomorrow," I say as I rub behind his ears. This time a little smile appears on his face.

The next day when I return, it's a bit earlier in the day since I would be working late night. I skipped my free period to come and spend a while with Yoongi.

When I arrive, Jungkook is at the counter instead of Taehyung. He smiles and waves.

"Welcome! You're here at a different time today." Leaning against the counter, he places his head on his palms.

"Yeah. I work late today. I didn't want to miss seeing the hybrids though." Jungkook stands up straight.

"Oh! I think Tae is in the back with a customer. I think Hoseok might get adopted."

"Okay. Thanks, Jungkook." At what he said, I don't know if I should be happy or worried. Who knows who will adopt Hoseok.

When I reach the back of the store, there's a thin, gangly looking man in a pinstripe suit. His beard is patchy and his eyes are thin, bags underneath. Hoseok is outside of his cage, a leash around his neck. Once I get over his height, I notice the sad look in his eyes. His whole body seems to sag.

"-Here are the papers, sir." Taehyung hands the man a folder as the man frowns.

"Why this mutt got so many papers?" The man's Chicago accent is thick as he tugs on Hoseok's leash. The Golden Retriever hybrid flinches and comes down. I step forward more. Gosh, I want to stab this man.

"It's policy when adopting a hybrid to have all their information. They are part human." Taehyung's voice is tight, although his expression betrays nothing.

"Human? This mutt's about as smart as an acorn!" The man laughs.

"Actually, dog hybrids are among the smartest, especially a Golden Retriever like Hoseok-"

"This thing ain't good for nothing except sex and killing. That's why they were created, kid. Don't be giving me none of that pretty shit." Hoseok whimpers at his words. The man pulls on Hoseok's leash harshly, making the poor pup cough and bend over. Taehyung sighs and clenches his fist.

I see red and can't bear to watch a second longer. Stomping over to the man, he sees my approach.

"What you-" I sock him in the eye and hit his pressure point. He falls to the ground. Heaving, my lips pulled in a snarl, I bend over my knees. My anger made me breathless. How can this man be so stupid and heartless and just horrible to treat a kind hybrid like Hoseok like that?! Hybrids should have never been created, to avoid suffering like this. I can't recall a hybrid ever being treated well.

"Thank you," Taehyung tells me once I've calmed down. I'm shocked.

"What?"

Hoseok jumps me, whimpering and whining and tears staining my shirt.

"I would have done that myself, but my boss would have fired me. I hate people like that."

"Why are you and Jungkook working here if you know what goes on?" I ask, outraged. Hobi's buries his head into my shirt.

"I trust you, so I'll let you in on a secret."

"Okay?"

"We've actually been freeing hybrids secretly. You remember how I told you about NamJoon?" I nod. "Me and Jungkook and a few other friends have been combining money to buy the hybrids and release them to hybrid sanctuaries."

My mouth is agape. So is this store... is a front? No way. They can't afford to release every hybrid. And Hoseok was just about to get purchased.

"What about the hybrids that don't get freed?"

"Well..." he smiles sadly, regret swimming in his eyes. "We can't save them all."

"I see..."

"That's why I'm glad you knocked out that guy. Hoseok can stay longer and that buys us time." Upon hearing his name, Hoseok parts from me and asks me to take his leash off.

"What about Yoongi?" The words pour out like vomit: uncontrolled and with a bitter taste.

"The owner...keeps him." My mouth is agape in horror. I can't stop myself from dry heaving. Why is there something so horrible going on behind the scenes? Where does this person get the hybrids? Do they abuse the others?

"The only reason we told you the price is that we thought you might actually take him. People don't even glance his way anymo-"

"What does your boss do with him?!" Taehyung shushes me to keep my voice down.

"I don't know. But I've stayed overnight a few times. I can hear things." I can't believe my friend bought a dog from this store. It makes my stomach lurch at the thought.

“What kind of things?”

“...Moaning-” Taehyung winces as soon as he says it. I cover my mouth in shock and disgust. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. That’s so horrible.”

"Every time I see Yoongi in that thing pressed against that corner, I feel so sorry. I feel sorry for his existence." Hoseok notices my distress and envelops me in a hug, rocking me back and forth.

"I won't stop visiting. I'll save up money. I want to take Yoongi away from here," I tell Taehyung with determination.

"Please do. I'm sure Yoongi would be so happy to hear that." Hoseok yawns and Taehyung chuckles.

"Wanna know something? He stares at the door every time that bell jingles. Yoongi."

"Really? I'm glad he's so fond of me." I grin and go to sit in front of Yoongi's cage. He comes up to me quickly and leans his head on the glass. Taehyung tells Hoseok to get back into his container and the hybrid falls asleep as soon as his head hits the blanket. He leaves Yoongi and me alone.

"Yoongi." He smiles. Just smiles. Can hearing his name make him that happy?

"Hi." He sounds less shy today. "You know what I dreamt about?" It visibly shocks me to hear him initiating the conversation.

"Sorry, sir. You probably were drunk."

"Damn. Can't remember anything."

"Shall I escort you to the door?"

"Yeah whatever."

"What did you dream about?"

"...You." His face is buried deep into his hands and I find myself blushing. That was...cute. For lack of better words.

"What about me?" I press him. He shakes his head, shy again. It probably already took so much for him to say that. "What if I say please?"

"Maybe..."

"Fine. Yoongi, will you please tell me what your dream about me was about?" Reaching toward his ears, I pet the soft, but slightly mangled appendages. Despite his mutations— no, because of his mutations —I find him so beautiful.

"I dreamt that I was holding your hand..." It makes my heart feel so weak. My whole body is warm and happy at hearing it.

"Do you want to hold my hand?" He looks back at me as his beady eyes search mine.

"...Can I?" His question is so innocent.

"Of course!" I stop petting him and hold my hand out. And for a while, Yoongi stares at it, as if he has never seen a hand before. As if my hand is sculpted by God himself. For Yoongi, it might just be that way.

Finally, his fingers brush mine and I feel my whole body alight. It was strange. His hand awkwardly wraps around mine. I laugh. He looks at me in confusion, eyebrows furrowed.

"Did I...do it right?"

"Mm. Sort of. Like this-" I interlace my fingers with his, feeling his digits slide with mine perfectly. His hands are warm and sweaty, a product of his high body temperature and nervousness.

He looks at our hands and moves them around, awestruck. Smiling, I come closer to be more comfortable. Yoongi closes his eyes and pets his tail with his free hand. A soft smile forms on his lips.

"I like it."

"Me, too." We sit in silence as he eventually leans against the glass. This makes me so happy. I've had so many friends, boyfriends, pets and yet none make me feel quite like this. So utterly complete. I want to know Yoongi more, but for now, this is enough.

"Thank you." Laughing, I watch the smile on his face transform into a gum-filled grin. He looks content.

"For what?"

"Coming to see me." I lean against the glass and he does the same.

A whole week passes. My semester finals had me staying up night after night and I didn't even have time in the day to eat. Day in and day out: studying. But I couldn't contain my joy— and guilt for not being able to see the hybrids —once I heard those familiar rusty bells jingle.

"Woah. You look worse for wear." Languidly, I turn to Taehyung at the counter.

"Thanks. Finals have not been gentle on me."

"I'm sure seeing Yoongi and Hoseok will brighten you up. I heard that animals and hybrids can reduce stress."

I yawn and send him a lazy thumbs up. He laughs.

"He missed you!" He yells at me once I'm past the entrance. It puts a smile on my face. I missed Yoongi, too. How has he been without me here to talk to him? Despite the guilt, I couldn't put aside my health and future for Yoongi. But now I was wholeheartedly his.

"Hi hi hi hi!" Something big and warm tackles me. And licks my neck? I wiggle in discomfort at being attacked. The person latched onto me eventually removes himself. I'm greeted by a beautiful heart-shaped smile.

"Hey, Hoseok," I say as I pinch his cheek. The hybrid gets off quickly and runs around excitedly.

"Oh boy! We should play! Let's play!" He runs somewhere in the store, effectively leaving my sight. My eyes drift and I see Yoongi on the floor, legs criss-cross and with a bowl of soup on his lap. When we lock eyes, he jumps and looks away.

Was he...mad at me?

I finally hear Jungkook chuckle. He was probably hearing the commotion.

"Nice to see you back. You came at a good time."

"Yeah. I was about to ask."

"For about thirty minutes three times a day, we take the hybrids out to eat and play-"

"Kookie, can I please use this ball?!" Hoseok rams into Jungkook. The employee laughs but shakes his head.

"Sorry, Hobi. You know I can't let you play with merchandise." And even as Hoseok whines, Jungkook stays strong. The Golden Retriever pouts and sits down to chow down on his food, making a huge mess. I laugh.

"How have they been?"

"Hoseok missed you a little, but fine. Yoongi, though, he asked for you every day."

"Be quiet!" Said boy protests, his cheeks big and lips pressed into a pout.

I walk over to him and grab his empty hand. He gasps and looks our hands.

"Sorry I didn't visit. I was really busy. I missed you, too."

His face softens and he smiles, but he decides to be stubborn as he looks away from me.

"Prove it."

"I will." With that, I gently bring him into my arms and press his head to my shoulder, treating him like fragile glass. He tenses up and I see his fists clench. I shush him to make him calm down.

His body feels warm and soft like a blanket. I pet his head and play with the hair around his neck.

He squeaks. I giggle. Eventually, he returns the hug and nuzzles into my shoulder, shaking and squeaking. We relax as I hum softly near his ear.

"Wow. I knew Chinchillas could squeak and shake, but I've never seen Yoongi do it. He wayyyy likes you," Jungkook explains as he begins picking up the food dishes.

Yoongi— for such a small hybrid —is still strong, since his iron grip doesn't want to let go.

"Come on, Yoongi. It's time for you to get back in your container-" I hear something gets knocked over. "-You, too, Hoseok!"

"Nooooo. I'm not tired yet!" Hoseok jumps up and down like a spoiled kid.

Patting Yoongi's back, he finally let's go. We both stand up. Yoongi looks so small and frail curled inside his cage, but he's still taller than me.

Jungkook unlocks the boys' containers and he practically forces Hoseok inside. Before going to crawl into his container, Yoongi turns around and smiles at me. He places on my head.

"You're small."

.

.

.

Was that him playing around with me? For some reason, it sends a flutter in my stomach and straight to my soul.

"You're not that tall, either!" Yoongi grins and hugs me again, placing his chin on my head.

He let's go and says, "It's okay. I like it." For once, it's me blushing furiously and not him. Crawling into his own, Jungkook comes to lock it, but Yoongi puts his hand up to stop him. Reaching his hand out to me, I interlace my fingers with his.

"Come back. Please." And as commanding as it sounds, it's accompanied by a shy smile and a Yoongi blush.

"Of course. I really promise to come every day from now on, okay?"

"Okay." He sits against the wall as Jungkook finally locks him up.

His gummy smile is on his face again, I send him my own. Shyly, he asks, "...Pinky promise?"

Giggling, I reach through the hole and interlace my pinky with his.

And at that moment, I made a decision. I would save up and buy Yoongi. Somehow I would save up those $1,000.

"Anatomy is canceled for the day. You're all about to graduate. Enjoy some freedom. I have to go somewhere." The whole auditorium erupts in cheers. People quickly disperse and those that don't, talk to their friends.

"Hey," my friend grabs my attention. "Let's get outta here?"

"Alright." We grab our bags and walk down the steps and out of the door. The hallways are mostly vacant. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about the pet shop."

"Oh yeah! I've been so busy I forgot to ask."

I rub my forehead. How typical of her. Jennie is either ditsy or cold, there is no in between.

"I actually didn't adopt anything."

"What? Why not?"

"To be honest, the moment I got there, this guy led me to the hybrid cages." When I finish saying this, Jennie looks sad.

We make it outside to the park near the labs.

"Hybrids are so cool and cute, but have you heard the news?" We settle down on a bench.

"What?"

"Since hybrid anatomy is so close to humans, they've been experimenting on them. And the government for some reason is totally okay with it."

"It's sad, but at this point, what can we do." I shake my head.

"Sorry for interrupting. What were you saying?"

I cross my arms and start, "When I went, I saw a mutated hybrid. He's been there for so long that the employees don't even want to tell me."

"Aww. Poor guy."

"Yeah. I was really considering buying him, but even with all those issues he's still $1,000." Jennie frowns and leans her head on my shoulder.

"Hybrids shouldn't be bought and sold. That's so...wrong!" Nodding, I sigh.

"About a week ago, I've started taking extra shifts. I want to get him out of there."

"Seriously?!" Jennie gets off my shoulder and watches me. I lock eyes with her and furrow my brows. "Holy shit! You're serious!"

"Yes," I whisper, as I smile at the thought of the hybrid I met a month ago. He's really so sweet, although he has some sassy moments. And of course, he's always so excited to see me. Yoongi is also handsome, a great bonus. I've grown to care for him beyond an owner and pet— not that it was ever like that anyway.

"Hey. What's with that face?" Jennie pokes my side with a dumb grin. "You looooveee him?"

"...I actually haven't thought about that. Maybe."

"Wait what?! I was joking! But if you do, then go for it. Hybrid and human relationships are..."

"Well, I hope in the future, it will be accepted." Jennie goes back to her side.

Silence passes over us.

If I can adopt Yoongi, will I be able to support both of us? What does he eat? How does he sleep? Bathe? What does he like? Can he work?

Is he interested in me how I'm interested in him?

"What's his name? And what is he? Like, hybrid."

"Yoongi. And he's Chinchilla." She squeals in my ear when she hears that.

"Cute! And soft. But don't they live for like five years?"

The one thing I didn't want to think about. The thing I keep pushing to the back of my mind. If Yoongi is old and Chinchillas only live for ten years, then how long would I have with him? Even if he was young, ten years is nothing for a human. A distressed expression appears on my face.

"Sorry for asking about it. It's probably not something you want to think about."

"Don't worry about it. I already knew; I was just in denial."

"Hey! Don't look so glum! Enjoy Yoongi a lot and don't worry too much, okay?"

"Alright, Jennie. I will," I say to pacify her as I force a smile to my lips.

But now, I can't help worrying.

Jingle. The bells sound really loud. When I look up, they're not rusty. I guess they bought some new ones.

"Good morning! You're here bright and early! I think Yoongi's eating breakfast," Taehyung tells me. I smile and go up to the counter.

"I actually am saving up to buy him. I'm really close!"

"O-oh really?" Taehyung is shocked and his expression morphs into melancholy and some shade of regret. But I brush it off.

"Yeah. I can't wait. I think next week is my big bonus."

"That's...good. The new hybrids are also coming next week. That container of his will be for another hybrid..."

Grinning, I chirp, "Yep! See you, Tae!" I quickly walk to the back.

I've been meaning to ask Yoongi his age, but Jungkook or Taehyung have been present and I know they won't let him answer. I'm hoping that today, Jungkook will be busy.

To my surprise, Jungkook is cleaning out Hoseok's container. It makes me explode in joy.

"Did you guys buy Hoseok?" Jungkook jumps and hits his head on the top of the container.

"Ouch."

"Oh. Sorry, Kook!" I walk over and rub his head.

"No worries," he waves me off as he leaves the container. "And actually, Hoseok got adopted by a really nice guy. I think his name was Jackson. He was about as energetic as Hoseok. I'm sure he's in a good place."

Jungkook locks the container.

"Wow... That's amazing. I'm so happy."

"We are, too. This month was pretty good with the exception of Jimin. Poor guy." We stand in silence for a bit as if sending Jimin our prayers.

"It's okay. You guys are doing great."

"Thanks. I'm glad you're here to keep them company. We can't be here all day. We have other animals to take care of and other things to do— Speaking of which-" He starts gathering his rag and broom. "I have to clean up!"

"Huh?"

"The inspectors are coming tomorrow and this place has to be spotless!" Jungkook runs off.

I send my thanks to the heavens.

"Hey. I'm here, too." The sarcastic remark reminds me of Yoongi's presence.

"Hey, Yoongi!" I sit beside his container later that week.

"Hello." He smiles and scoots forward. Yoongi pokes his hand outside of his enclosure and interlaces our hands. My blush appears.

I cough awkwardly.

"Um, I hope this isn't a strange question, but how old are you?" Yoongi tilts his head and looks around, trying to remember.

"I think...ten years old." My stomach drops.

"W-what? Are you sure?" I can feel myself shaking.

He doesn't have very long...

"Yes. I remember celebrating my birthdays. They put those number candles. In March I turned ten."

My grip on his hand tightens. I look down to avoid his eyes.

"And...h-how long have you been here?"

"Ten years." Tears stream down my cheeks.

"I-I'm so so sorry, Yoongi!" The sobs I've been holding in can't be controlled anymore. I cough as my throat feels like there's a golf ball lodged inside.

Why has he been suffering for so long? Having to watch hybrids adopted right next to him every day, watching and progressively losing his own hope of being taken home. The owner of this shop does God knows what to him when the store closes. How much has he gone through? And for this to have been the short, miserable existence he has had.

He'll die having experienced nothing that makes him happy.

Instead of telling me it would be okay, he places his hand on my head and pets me. I look up, surely a mess.

"You pet me like this when we first met. It made me feel better." He runs his fingers through my hair and hums. I sob harder and lean against the glass.

"Y-Yoon-gi."

"Don't cry. I like you happy."

My sobs reduce to hiccups and I stop crying. It does work, shockingly. When I look up, Yoongi looks drowsy.

"Better?" He yawns. "I'm tired. If I sleep and you're still here, wake me up."

His eyes slowly drift closed as he slows his petting.

I can't help wondering: Is he actually tired, or...is this something else?

Tomorrow is my bonus paycheck. I can adopt Yoongi and at least give him the best I can in the limited time he has. I can't wait. Practically running into the store, I yell a quick, "Hi, Taehyung!" and run to the back. Jungkook is on his phone waiting for Yoongi to finish his food.

Yoongi hears me approach and his scraggly Chinchilla ears perk up. He grins his typical, gum-filled grin. I see a few pieces of stray food between his teeth— the poor baby was probably starving —, but instead of being disgusted, I feel even more endeared.

"Hey, guys!" Jungkook looks up and jumps out of his chair.

"Great! You're here! Watch Yoongi, okay? I really gotta poo!" Scrunching my nose, I look Jungkook up and down with feigned disgust.

"Eww. Didn't need to know that, Kook."

"Yeah yeah. Okay, Mom," he sighs with an eye roll. He leaves us alone.

I grab his chair and come closer to Yoongi.

"Hewwo," he says through a mouthful of spinach. It's so cute that he loves spinach so much.

"Hey, Yoongi. I actually wanted to talk to you about my plans for tomorrow." He nods, accidentally dropping a piece of food, pouting. Gosh, he's so cute it melts my heart and insides.

"I've saved up enough money to adopt you. So I get a direct deposit tomorrow and with all the money I can come and take you home! I've been thinking about it for a long time and I've always wanted to adopt you. How does that-"

Yoongi crushes me into his body. He's shaking and his fingers clench the back of my shirt as if I'll leave him. His knees buckle and we end up on the floor. I can hear and feel his near hummingbird speed heart rate. And by God, is his breathing hard.

"T-thank you! Thank you so much!" When I hear his voice straining and the first tear touches my thin t-shirt, I near cry, too.

"Whatever for? I've always wanted to adopt you. I'm sorry I didn't do it sooner." He shakes his head.

"For showing me that not all humans are bad."

"Yoongi, you don't have to thank me fo-"

"I want to. You're my favorite person."

A burning chill runs up my back, arms, head— my whole body. I can't believe my ears.

"What?" He removes himself and searches my eyes, his own red and sparkling with tears.

"Can I say that?" Blushing, I take him in. I'm happy I could give him this simple, but rare joy.

"Of course. You're my favorite person, too." Yoongi's eyes widen, but he grins. Then, he blushes, hesitant.

Evidently, he catches me off guard when he presses his lips against mine.

I melt all over again. Of course, I press against him. He wraps his arms around my shoulders and I watch his eyes flutter shut. My own follow. Bunching up the fabric at his chest with my hands, I smile into the kiss. It doesn't last very long, but it's so soft and so full of love that it's better than any kiss I've had in the past. It has meaning.

He leans his forehead against mine.

"Did you like it?"

"Yeah. I did." He grins looking a bit more confident.

"Can I do it again?" Not a second elapses before he presses his lips to mine again.

This time, he's taken the experience from the first time and kisses me with more force. His lips move and dance with mine. I sigh, feeling content just like this. Something pokes my bottom lip, and I blush, realizing it's his tongue. Yoongi's chest is heaving against mine and he forces himself against me, pressing his body impossibly close.

"Woah! Didn't expect this after doing my business!"

We push away from each other upon hearing Jungkook's voice. I recover quickly, but Yoongi is red like a tomato and furiously picking at some skin patch on his tail. He looks like a kindergartener who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Cute.

Everything he does is so cute, who am I kidding.

"Wow. You weren't joking. All in cash, too!"

I woke up early the next morning— well I actually stayed awake until my deposit came in at midnight —to come to adopt Yoongi. None of my classes were this early, so I wanted to bring Yoongi home to help him get acquainted with my home. He just woke up and was rather confused why Jungkook woke him up so early.

But as soon as he saw me, he came and leaned his head on mine and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"All in cash, too, sir!" Taehyung laughs at my response.

"Alright, well, everything is all set. I'm happy you finally could take Yoongi home..." his voice drifts off as he glances over to hybrid. I notice this.

"Tae?"

"Actually, could I talk to you outside?" Nodding, I follow, but then adds, "Without Yoongi." Yoongi shrugs and tiredly leans against the counter.

The bell jingles.

The door shuts.

We walk a little away from the store.

Taehyung runs a hand through his hair and sighs. "Yesterday when you told me you were going to adopt Yoongi, I was so nervous." He hesitates.

I urge him to continue.

"Yoongi is ten years old. And Chinchillas don't live long. I think you've already noticed how tired he is recently."

Something heavy drops in the pit of my stomach. This again. Frowning, I look at Yoongi inside. He's almost asleep again, just leaning against that counter.

"As an employee, it's my obligation to tell you this."

"Okay, Tae. Please- just- just go on."

"He's going to die soon."

I swallow. Hard.

I've been avoiding that word. To put that word and Yoongi in the same sentence together, it's making me distraught.

"...I know. I still want to adopt him."

"I'm happy his last... months, weeks, days— who knows, are with you. He's been happier than ever-"

"It's nothing. He deserves better. Even much better than what I could give him." Taehyung nods and smiles, placing a hand on my shoulder. He can tell I don't want to discuss it anymore.

"Oh!" He reaches into his pocket for his phone. "Tell me your number. I'll text you mine and Jungkook's numbers. We are like this-" He crosses his index and middle finger. "-Now."

I giggle and roll my eyes. "Sure. I'll come by a few times. Maybe we can hang out like actual, normal friends."

"Eh. Maybe don't count on that. Anyway!" He pushes me back into the store, the jingling bells waking up Yoongi. "Take care of Yoongi! He's fragile!" Said hybrid rolls his eyes and follows me out of the store.

"Bye, Tae! Tell Jungkook I said hi and bye!"

We walk to the parking lot and Yoongi takes in everything with wide eyes. He touches my car and presses his face against the glass. I laugh.

"Get in, Yoongi!"

He looks overwhelmed, eventually asking, "You can go inside?" It makes me slightly sad, remembering how he's never gone anywhere except inside that store.

"Yes. Just pull on that handle." Once he sits inside, he finds more shocking revelations.

"There's so many buttons..."

"Don't touch them, okay? I don't want anything to happen." He obeys as I lean across the dash to buckle him in. Yoongi presses a kiss to my cheek. Sputtering and fighting a blush, I return to my seat to find a smirking hybrid.

"Okay. What kind of music do you like?"

"I can choose?"

"Of course!"

"Hip-hop."

"Oooooh. So cool, Yoongi." He nods and crosses his arms, feigning coolness.

But as soon as the car actually goes on the road, he's pressed to the window. He points at places through his window, in awe. All of which I promise to take him. By the end of the trip, my smile almost hurts, having never left.

Once we get home, Yoongi is so happily talking his head off about hip-hop that I don't dare to interrupt. Not that I want to; he's so cute when he's passionate. Plus, he never talks this much. I shove my key inside.

"Welcome home!" Yoongi cautiously steps inside. He slowly sits on the couch.

He looks up at me like a kid on Christmas. I've never seen Yoongi so happy.

"Like it?"

"Do you live here?"

"Huh? Well, yes," I respond, perplexed by his question. He yawns and lies down on the couch.

"Then I like it."

His simple words make my heart pump and toes tingle. The little smile on his lips as he rests on my couch has me like putty in his presence. Although his sudden tiredness worries me, I ignore it; he has had an eventful morning after all.

I check my phone for the time. He could nap for an hour before I had to go to class.

Tomorrow was the weekend. As I check the weather, I realize it would be absolutely perfect to go to the beach. Maybe Yoongi could use some sunlight. I laugh to myself.

I giggle at Yoongi's struggling to put the t-shirt on, his cute, pale belly wiggling. He eventually gets it on, a perfect fit.

"Sorry if it's old. It's one of my sleeping shirts. It was the only thing I could find that would fit you."

He brings it up to his nose and inhales deeply. Then, he shakes his head and smiles.

"It's fine. I like how it smells like you."

Damn. I clench the fabric around my chest dramatically.

"So-! Cute-!" He grabs my keys and hands them to me. By the awkward body language, I can tell I've embarrassed him.

I give him a once over and can't help the smile on my face. His cute little board shorts. It takes a lot of willpower to forego the trip and just cuddle him on the couch.

"Let's go."

Despite how many times I had to tell Yoongi to keep his seatbelt on, the trip was fun and quiet. Also, the fact Yoongi wanted to hold my hand made driving more difficult.

The beach is empty, probably since it's so early in the morning. Yoongi pulls on my bag.

Brows furrowing, he tells me, "Let me hold your bag."

"Why?"

"Taehyung used to put on movies for us to watch. Isn't it romantic for the boy to take the bag?" I look around, mentally looking for a spot to settle down before turning my attention back to him.

"Okay. Thank you, Yoongi." The bag slips from my fingers, but he does something unexpected.

He switches the bag to his other hand and holds my hand. We both blush furiously, but Yoongi can't seem to look me in the eye, so he looks away. Being careful of the dry seaweed, I lead him over to an empty spot.

"Sit here while I set up the umbrella." I remove my towel. Then I kneel down and prepare everything for us.

"You..."

"Me?"

"You look beautiful."

When I turn to Yoongi, he seems sincere.

"Poetic aren't you? Oh! Yoongi! We should build a sandcastle!" Upon finishing, I noticed the bucket and shovel.

"What is that?"

"I'll show you." The hybrid comes beside me, ears twitching with curiosity.

"Help me put sand in this bucket."

We work together until I carefully place the bucket upside down. When I remove it, the sand stays. Yoongi is in awe.

"I'm not done yet," I say as I begin drawing little decorations. Then I make a door. He gets the idea and carefully uses his fingers to carve little divots and ornate designs.

"Me and mom used to build sandcastles all the time when I was little." He smiles.

"What is she like?"

"Really nice. And she never gets mad at me. She's really smart, too. She is pretty even now. She's like an angel."

"You are just like her then. An angel." Our fingers touch and I look up at him. Next to me, Yoongi has a tender look in his eyes. He leans forward, planting a kiss on my temple.

My hand gets engulfed in sand and Yoongi flinches.

"Sorry. I ruined it."

"It's okay. Sandcastles are really great, but they're bound to go down."

"Oh," he whispers. And for some reason, he starts building it again.

"Do you want to do something else?" He numbly shakes his head.

"I want to build it again. I want this one to last forever," he explains, then turns to me. "It's the first one I made with you. It's more special."

Blinking, taken aback, I nod and help him.

Standing up once we finish, I grab his hand and help him up, but he nearly falls over. I panic and bring him close to support him.

"Yoongi?"

"It's okay." His eyes glaze over and I only now notice how weak and out of it he seems. Like a newborn dear, taking clumsy steps. He takes a few breaths and eventually rights himself.

He's weak. He's old. He's going to-

I stop the thought as I blurt, "Want to go get some ice cream?"

"What is ice cream?"

"It's difficult to explain, it's better to just try it." I grab my bag— which he takes out my hand in order to hold my hand —and very nearly drag him to an ice cream stand.

The man at the stand regards us with a fond grin.

"Pretty girlfriend." Yoongi blushes and I sneakily squeeze his hand.

"Thank you..."

"What can I get you?"

"One scoop of sea salt vanilla for him and a strawberry for me." Yoongi mentally notes what I said. I'm too scared to get him any other flavor for fear of his stomach not being able to digest it.

"Here you are! Three ninety-five."

Once I pay and we get seated on a bench, I eagerly start eating the dessert. But Yoongi, on the other hand, stares at it like it's an alien.

"Lick it." He observes how I do it before giving a cute, kitten-lick. His expression lights up, now devouring it like he won't ever eat again.

"Wow. I take it you like it?" He looks up from his treat, mouth stained with ice cream. Laughing, I grab a napkin and wipe his mouth.

He nods and struggles to say, "Gants." I laugh at his poor thank you.

After we both finish and our bellies are full of ice cream, I lean my head on Yoongi's shoulder. He follows and leans on mine, exhaling deeply. I can hear him yawn above me.

"I'm glad we could spend time like this, Yoongi. I really like you and I'm so thankful to have met you."

"Me, too..." His voice is quiet, and his body seems to sag. Maybe we can go home and relax after this.

Yoongi suddenly touches his chest. And he shakes. He takes a deep breath and doesn't breathe for a while.

"Hey, weirdo, what are you doing?" When he exhales, his heart starts pounding loudly. Yoongi sighs and grabs my hand, squeezing it.

"Nothing. I'm okay. It's nothing." Despite how strange it sounds, I ignore it.

"Can we come again tonight?"

"Tonight?" I look up at him, and he looks down at me with a pained expression.

"Yes. Please."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. I'm okay. I just really want to come again." Nodding, I oblige to his wishes, but I can't help but worry about his odd behavior.

Just as I promised, when we finish eating dinner, I take him back down to the coast. I don't quite understand why he wants to come. As far as I can tell, he looks more ready for a long nap. But I still humor him and bring him down to the same spot.

The sandcastle was still halfway up, although the wind has definitely eroded it. Yoongi practically plops onto the ground. I don't bother setting up an umbrella and just get out a soft blanket and some cushions. After we get comfortable, Yoongi uses my lap as a pillow.

He takes a deep, shaky breath and touches his chest.

"What do you want to do?"

"Nothing. I just want to sit with you here a while."

"Oh," I mumble. For a while, I just run my fingers through his hair and watching his peaceful face. He looks like he's about to sleep.

"Are you tired, Yoongi?" When his eyes open, there are some unshed tears. My heart clenches, worried as to why he is so upset.

"I...yes."

"Why are you crying?"

"I am?" He wipes his eyes and forces a smile on his face, but I can't tell it's fake.

"You can tell me what's wrong."

"I'm sorry." Now confused, I watch as he grabs my hand and lays a kiss on the palm.

"Why?"

"Because... You've given me everything and I left you with nothing."

Frowning, I insist, "That's not true. You've given me a lot. Plus, I don't need material things. You're very precious to me. You've become the most person in my life."

He flinches hard when he hears that.

"Don't let me be that. It makes me feel so sad."

"Yoongi, you've been acting so strange today. As soon as we got home, you went to sleep. Then, when I asked you if you wanted to watch a movie, you told me you were too tired." Yoongi rolls over toward me and hugs my midriff.

I feel his tears on my shirt.

"I'm sorry."

"Yoongi. It's okay." I push him back so I can face him, and his eyes are swimming with a lot of things I can't place.

"Oh, Yoongi..." He clutches his chest.

Yoongi closes his eyes and breathes a few times. We sit there for a few minutes. I pet his head. The waves crash especially hard and our little sandcastle finally falls over. I smile at the memory from this morning. Yoongi was so happy to just be with me.

"Sorry. I have some thoughts really eating at me right now."

"It's okay. But never hesitate to tell me okay?" And for seemingly forever, Yoongi stares at me.

Then blurts, "I love you. I wanted to say it before I regret not saying it."

My heart beats out of my chest and if a human body could smile, every cell in my body would be smiling.

"I love you, too." He smiles his gummy smile. Again, he touches his chest. Closing his eyes, he grabs my hand again and squeezes it close to him.

"I'm going to...take a nap, okay?"

"Sure. We can go home after."

"...Yeah. And... Thank you so much for everything. My last— Uh. I'm glad you could take care of me for..."

He can't finish his sentence, as if something is holding him back. A little tear slips down the corner of his eye, but I don't catch it.

"I was in that place for so long. My entire life. Thank you for showing me love and happiness."

"Of course."

"And. I love you. A lot."

"Me, too."

"Can you say it? Please?" His voice cracks.

"I love you."

He smiles, still with an iron hold on my hand. His chest slows down. I can hear his heartbeat slowing, too. Such a calm, gentle thing. The waves crashing are the opposite. I didn't think I would get so attached to someone so fast like I did with Yoongi.

Sighing, I look down at him and squeeze his hand.

And I notice how oddly cold he is.

"Should have asked for a blanket, dummy." I drape it over him.

And then I notice that his chest isn't moving.

I furrow my eyebrows.

And then I realize I can't hear his heartbeat.

I gulp.

"Yoongi?" Lightly, I shake him.

He's as still as a rock.

Oh no no no no. Not now.

"Yoongi? This better be a joke!" I choke. Shaking him more vigorously, I start heaving.

Why now? Why?

I lean against his chest and can't hear or feel anything.

"Yoongi! Stop it right now!" My voice cracks. Before I know it I'm sobbing. I place my finger under his nose: no breath. His face is cold. I lean against his chest again, hoping for something.

The only thing I hear is my own heart.

"Why didn't you tell me?!" I grip his shirt, throat tightening, and stomach twisting. "I didn't know it would be so soon!" The tears running down my face are relentless.

How could he look so content and happy while my whole world is crumbling?! Why does time keep going, when I feel like it just stopped?!

"I'm so-so sorry. A month wasn't e-nough!"

He spent ten years of his life suffering and alone. It's not fair. Not fair for him or for me.

"I'm- I'm sorry I didn't do- do enough for you!" I hiccup. "You do-n't deserve th-this!" Bringing him toward me, I bury my face into his shoulder and squeeze him to me.

My tears reverberate:

Tap tap. Tap tap. Tap tap.

If only his heart sounded like that.

"I'm sorry, Yoongi."

[taenamseok]

The Moonlight Chronicles

Masterlist

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Summary: Tragedy is normal for a superhero. However, you were not sad about your past. Anger had swelled since you were younger, and something has finally snapped.

Roles

Previous/ Next

Chapter Five

The next morning you head over to the tailor you've had since you first moved in with James. Margo Ashton, world renowned superhero tailor, has made all of your suits. You don't trust anyone else with your outfits. Your taxi pulls up to the mansion, and you pay the fee and step out. You type your pin to the gate lock and the gate slides open. You ring the doorbell, the chimes echoing through the house. You wait a few minutes until you hear the door click, the tall, thin woman being revealed with a puff of smoke. "Y/N, darling, what are you doing here?" She asks, pulling you inside.

You both sit down on her uncomfortable leather couch, her pouring you a freshly made cup of tea. "Well, Margo, you know I trust you, right? That I tell you everything?" You ask and she nods. "Spill, honey, you know my lips are sealed." She says, fake zipping her lips and tossing the key. "Well, something happened, and I need a new suit." You tell her. "What, did you get in a bad fight? Is your old suit ruined?" She asks, concerned more about the suit than your well being. "No, the suit is fine. Um, you know how it's rare to have two powers?" You ask and she nods. "Well, I do. A new one appeared so now I need a suit to match it." You confess, and her eyes widen. "You have a new power? What is it?" She cries in shock and excitement. "Influence." You mumble.

"Influence. Wow, that's very rare. But, it is interesting. What kind of suit were you thinking?" She asks. "Maybe something violet? With a dark purple cape? And a headpiece, gloves and mask." You say and she nods. "I think I have an idea. Come back tomorrow morning and I'll have it ready." She replies. "Thank you, Margo. And you won't tell anyone?" "I promise. Your secret is safe with me." She smiles.

You go to the wig shop, picking up a beautiful violet one, long with soft curls. "Its perfect." You say to yourself.

The next morning you go back, ringing the bell again to be greeted and dragged to her workshop. She pushes you down into the plush armchair, tiptoeing excitedly over to the mannequin draped in a plain white sheet. "Are you ready?" She asks, practically bouncing up and down. You giggle and nod. She rips the sheet off revealing a skin tight suit, much like your old one, but with violet and purple undertones. A purple headband wraps around the head of the mannequin, long tails of silk waving in the back due to the fan. Its simple, but gorgeous, and you couldn't be happier. "Margo, you've outdone yourself, again. Thank you." You smile, pulling her into a tight hug. "How much do I owe you?" You ask, pulling your wallet out of your purse, but she puts a hand up.

"No no, darling. You know I haven't made you pay since Falco passed. You're my special client." She says. "Thank you, really." You sigh, hugging her again. She packs up the outfit and hands you the box. "I should get going, I've got big plans tonight." You say with a smirk and she nods. You step out the door and down to your waiting taxi when she calls out to you. "Oh, tell those handsome allies of yours to get their sweet asses back here soon, I need something good to look at." She shouts. You turn back and smile, the mention of those assholes causing anger to swell within you again. "Oh, I'll see them soon." You mumble to yourself.

You model your new outfit and wig in the mirror, the cape and headband flowing as you spin around. You slide on the levitation boots James had given you a few years ago, happy that they still fit. You pull on the black gloves that reach up to your elbows. You looked good, and felt good too. You were ready to make them pay.

The sun has dipped below the horizon, the cool streets bathed in the dim moonlight from the waxing crescent moon. Wind howls, your cape billowing behind you as you hover above the street, right across from the conference room you've grown so accustom to. "Heroes of Moonlight City, show yourselves!" You call through the bluetooth microphone hanging from your ear. Civilians have gathered in the street below you, some staring at you in shock and others looking expectantly at the glass doors.

The men file out of the building, Boss being last. Sparrow clicks his wings, soaring in the air to meet your level. You can see Boss squinting, and you laugh. "Stop trying to read my mind, Boss. You're pathetic." You chuckle and he straightens out. "Yes, mistress." He says, blank stare becoming all too familiar to you. "Who are you and what do you want?" He calls out. "My name is Mistress, and I want you to suffer." You smirk.

Sparrow flies towards you, but you stop him. "Stand down, Birdie, land and destroy your wings." He stops mid flight. "Yes, mistress." He says as he lands, taking off his gear and stomping on it until it's a pile of scrap metal. "What? No! My wings!" He cries, falling to his knees in horror.

You look down at Bolt, whose looking between you and Sparrow. "Bolt, go home and don't go back outside until the morning." You sigh. "Yes, mistress." He says, walking away. You watch him, your heart shattering with each step. As you're caught off guard, you gasp as your leg is barricaded in ice. You see Freeze standing there, teeth clenched and hands pointed at you. 'I can't melt the ice, then they'll know about my fire power and my identity will be blown' you think to yourself. "Freeze, freeze yourself." You say, turning towards the building behind you and kicking it, breaking the ice. When you turn back he's coated head to toe in ice.

"Speed Demon, run home to visit with your family." "Yes, mistress." He says, speeding away. Shift is up next, taking the form of a t-rex, teeth barred in front of you. "Oh, no, Shift. Turn into a kitten." You tell him, and he makes a strange growling noise before shrinking down. You land on the asphalt, walking to pick up his new small, furry form. "Kinesis, go home and take care of this kitty." You say, handing him over to the older male. "Yes, mistress." He says. You're already starting to get tired of that phrase.

With all of the other guys taken care of, you walk straight up to Boss. "What is it exactly that you want?" He asks, trying his best not to seem scared. "I want your alliance to fall. I want you to suffer. However, I also want power. So here's the deal, you will make me the leader of the alliance, you will not disobey me, well, technically you can't." You demand. "Yes, mistress." He says with a gulp.

[some-cookie-crumbz]

The Shrink Treatment 2: The Team Gets Shrunk. Literally.

The Shrink Treatment 2: The Team Gets Shrunk. Literally. Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender Pairing: Kidge Summary: Sequel to this story; should be read for context. Pidge’s brilliant idea to take Keith to see the Lions doesn’t go as planned. At all. Standard Disclaimer: If you read and enjoy this, please give it a like/ reblog so I know if I should write more. AN: Gonna be honest and say there will be at least one more part after this one, since I ended up WAY more attached and involved in this idea than I planned.

The Lions had always been extremely interesting to Pidge. From a technological standpoint, they were constantly evolving to match their Paladin’s needs in battle without any sound reason as to why. As their bond as a team developed further, so did not only their connection with their individual Lion, but the other four as well; giving them the ability to communicate in brief flashes with each other without needing another Paladin to play translator. This benefitted Pidge especially well, since she was normally the one to start repairs or develop new upgrades to help improve their software. While she had been under the proverbial hood of all the Lions multiple times in her tenure as the Green Paladin, she still wasn’t sure how exactly the Lions actually worked. It seemed less that she learned how to repair them solely through trial and error or her own wits, and more that the Lions poured the solutions into her head themselves, much like turning on a sink faucet. Whichever Lion she was working on would tell her what to do as it needed to be done – down to which programs to run when and in what order, and what physical damages needed attending first – and then she’d be left to piece how it all worked together when the task was complete. She started to keep a journal for each Lion where she logged every repair or upgrade she made to them, paying excruciating attention to detail in making sure her accounts were as accurate as possible.

Green Lion had teased her once, when Pidge had asked why they gave her the information in such a way, by pointing out that Pidge would be insulted if they simply told her how everything fit together. “You are too smart to be talked down to, my Paladin, and giving you all the answers would only infuriate you. Instead, we give you the tools so that you can reach the answers on your own,” She had explained, her voice a warm and affectionate purring in Pidge’s head. Pidge had to admit that Green was right in that it was against her nature to simply want to have information handed to her, as well as feeling like learning about the Lions over time helped them maintain a certain level of mysticism and mystery.

In short; it helped maintain the image of being super cool.

A fact that was not missed on Keith when they entered the hanger.

His eyes had sparkled and the little gasp he let out had quickly morphed into a small squeal that cracked at the end, earning an amused snort from her. She set him down and he slowly approached the half circle of feline themed robots, looking from each one in turn as he stepped. Their shields were down so he could get a much better look at each of them. He paused in the center, where he could turn in a circle and see each of them perfectly as he did. He turned around to look at her, a grin that nearly split his face in half, and waved his arms out at the Lions. “They. Are. So cool!” He shouted as he ran in a big circle, arms still out.

She laughed a bit before she felt a panic rising in the back of her mind, the sensation foreign but also somewhat familiar. It was followed by a flickering of light from her peripheral. She frowned worriedly and took a few steps forward, slipping over to gently place her hand against the shield. “Oh, Red,” She said softly.

Of all the Lions, Red spoke with Pidge the least often. She didn’t take it personally, though, as Red expressed the same disinterest in anyone whose name didn’t start with a “K” and end in an “Eith”. The bond between Keith and Red, while instantaneous, had become deeper in a surprisingly short amount of time. Keith insisted that it was simply that they were a good combination, but Pidge knew better. She’d seen how often Keith would sneak into the hanger, believing no one else was present, and get himself comfortable leaning back against Red’s muzzle and simply chat with her. While Pidge wasn’t privy to what they discussed, Green Lion was able to confirm they were, in fact, speaking through the telepathic bond.

It only made sense, then, that Red may not be as accepting of the situation Keith was in as everyone else was trying to be.

“My Paladin… What have you done to my Paladin? Is that even my Paladin or is this some kind of experiment?” She roared, her tone a mix of fear and fury. The intensity of her emotions actually made Pidge wince, pushing on her mind like having a brick dropped on her head.

“Red,” Pidge breathed softly, trying to gain control of the situation, but the pressure in her head only grew worse. She bit her lip to keep in a whimper of pain.

“Answer me, Paladin of Green! Is this some kind of plot? Are you scheming against the rest of Voltron? Are you?” She bellowed.

“No, I would never!” She snapped back just as Green stood at attention, roaring loudly at Red.

“How dare you question the intentions of my Paladin!” Green growled, her body shifting low and tail raising. A sinking stomach grew in Pidge’s belly as she glanced between the two Lions. Red’s shield flickered briefly, teetering on the edge of being dropped to accept the obvious challenge Green was throwing down. The Lions had bickered and squabbled before – typically Blue and Red arguing over whose Paladin was actually responsible for whatever newest qualm rose between Lance and Keith – but Green had never reached the point of making threats or escalating a situation.

A small tug at her hand alerted her to the small child beside her, who was pressing into her leg with a fearful look in his eyes.

It occurred to Pidge that, while she doubted Keith’s bond with Red was at a point that he could fully communicate with her, he might be able to pick up on the feelings of the two Lions. And even if he wasn’t sensing anything telepathically, it was clear that he could at least read the situation enough to know he had reason to feel uncomfortable. Pidge looked up at Red and squared her shoulders. “Knock it off, both of you!” She barked, turning her attention between the two of them. She could feel their attention shift from one another back to her. “You’re both being unreasonable and you’re scaring Keith.”

Green returned to sitting upright, releasing only a small huff of resignation that the argument was being laid to rest for now, while Red shifted to lay down, her head dipping to rest between her front paws. Her shield stayed up and Pidge sighed, giving Keith’s hand a small squeeze and pressing her other hand more firmly against Red’s shield.

Keith looked from Pidge to Red Lion, cocking his head like a confused puppy. “Is the red kitty mad?” He asked quietly.

She looked down at him and plastered on a smile that she hoped was reassuring. “Well, she’s not really mad… She’s just upset. More sad than mad… See, she’s really worried about someone special to her but she doesn’t want to say it that way. Instead she’s being grumpy about it,” She said, trying to think of how best to explain it.

He blinked once at her before looking over at Red again. He released Pidge’s hand to walk a bit closer to the shield, pushing both of his tiny hands against the surface. Red perked up in curiosity, letting the shield drop upon his touch.

His eyes lit up when it disappeared, looking at his hands in awe, clearly thinking that he had forced it down himself. Amusement unfurled from Red as she observed him. Keith beamed up at Pidge before stepping forward and pressing himself against Red’s nose, stretching as far as his little arms could reach. For a moment, she tilted her head in bemusement as to what he was trying to accomplish, before he tossed his head back to try and look at her. “Does she feel better now?” He called.

A smile turned up on Pidge’s lips that she quickly hide by covering her mouth with one hand, the other falling to rest on her hip. “What is he doing? Why is he doing this?” Red pestered her.

“It’s called a hug; humans sometimes hug each other to offer comfort. He’s trying to make you feel better,” She mumbled into her hand, the words repeating in her mind so as to actually be understood by the puzzled robot.

Red seemed frozen by shock for a moment before she shifted a bit, letting out an actual purr through her robotic form, something akin to nuts and bolts being vibrated on a metal tray, and gently pressed into Keith as a form of acceptance of the affection. She was careful to not bowl him over with the gesture, though it did push him back a few feet. He noticed and giggled excitedly in response, tightening his hold on her snout and rubbing his cheek against the cool metal. Another purr rumbled out of the mechanical cat. While Red still seemed a bit weary of Keith, it was clear that she was at least a bit more softened up to him in his current form.

Glad that a crisis had been avoided with Red, Pidge cleared her throat to get their attention. “Okay, buddy, how about we let the Lions rest for a bit, okay? Do you like to color? Cause if so, I may have some markers and paper waiting to have your name put on them,” She mused lightly.

Keith slowly let go of Red Lion, looking up at her again in awe, before scampering back over to Pidge’s side. “Can I draw the Lions?” He asked excitedly.

She laughed lightly and nodded. “Of course. They don’t move around much so they’ll be great models, too,” She laughed before guiding him over to her table. She pulled open one of the drawers and started rummaging through. Her computer dinged to signify that Coran had sent the calculations along to her via the private messaging system they’d developed. It was in case of emergencies where they couldn’t use the regular communicators, but could easily be accessed from any technical device with a screen.

A space Discord, in a way.

Finding a notebook with lineless paper had been relatively easy for Pidge but locating something that could work like markers or crayons was the real trial. Over their travels, they’d gotten small trinkets and mementos from most of the planets they visited; practical things they could make use of being one of the more frequent options. For Pidge, notebooks and writing utensils and things of that ilk were her favorite. She loved getting to use the advanced tablets and holo-screens on the castle and they were common among most of the other aliens they encountered, but there were moments when she just liked the curl of a pencil in her fingers, the soft brush of her hand against a clean sheet of paper, and the hassle of washing trace smudges of ink or lead from her skin.

It took her emptying the drawer of nearly all its contents to find a small bundle of thin, long instruments tied together in a green ribbon, but she grinned in pride. They were an odd hybrid of markers and crayons – requiring a lid to be kept from running out, much like a marker, but were thicker and wider like toddler crayons back on Earth were - and required a bit of finagling to work. But the children of Huyrtroz - the planet she’d gotten them from - could use them well enough and she could say with certainty that they were washable, so she doubted that Keith would have too much trouble so long as he was taught. She returned the items she’d removed from the drawer with a quick sweep of one arm and turned toward Keith, who was bouncing on her chair with the notebook set on his lap. “Okay, this should work pretty good. They’re a little different than the kinds of color stuff you’re used to using, though, so watch how I do this carefully, okay?” She asked as she opened the notebook to a clean page, then tugged the green and red ones from the group.

He nodded happily, scooting a bit closer to her. She grinned and handed the red one to him, holding the green one up by the cap using her index and thumb. Keith tilted his head a bit, inspecting how she was holding it, and then mirrored her with the one he had. She grinned in approval and he beamed back.

The casing of the utensils were uniform and bland and had no text of any kind on them. The casing around them was a pale grey with white ovals in the center on one side, but the caps were tinted whatever color it would write in. “Now, you’re gonna want to leave the cap on for a minute or two, okay? They won’t write if we don’t do a little magic first,” She said, lowering her tone conspiratorially.

He gasped softly before he nodded, eyes so wide with excitement that they almost looked like they may pop out. “Is it secret magic?” He asked softly.

“Yes, it is. You can’t tell anyone else about this, okay?” She hummed. Pidge was the only one – sans maybe Coran and Allura, admittedly – who knew how to work these things and she planned to make use of that fact in the near future. After all, she figured Lance deserved a little bite back for constantly stealing her headphones.

Keith held his hand up to his mouth, tugging at an imaginary zipper, and flashed her a thumbs up. She laughed lightly at how ridiculously endearing it was. She made a note to herself to try to get him to do it again when he was back to normal. “Mmhmm!” He muffled out, refusing to open his mouth, as if to show his sincerity.

“Now, what you’re gonna do next is press your thumb against the little white oval here, and when it changes color you can take the cap off and use it,” She explained, placing the pad of her own thumb in place. How it worked was that the inside of the tube was a mineral that melted in to an ink-like substance, but only when exposed to high temperatures of heat. The casing around the sliver of mineral would amplify the body temperature pressed against it internally to melt the mineral without running the risk of burning the user. Once the oval turned completely green, she pulled the cap off and drew a quick kitty face on a blank sheet of paper.

“That’s so cool!” He said excitedly, fumbling with the red one in his hand to imitate how she had held it. Pidge chuckled as she popped the cap back on the one she was holding, reaching over to lightly push his bangs out of his face as he watched the oval change color under his touch. Once it was ready to use, he yanked the cap off and started drawing frantic squiggles and wavy lines, giggling like a little mad man in glee.

Pidge would be lying if she tried to say it was anything other than adorable and endearing.

She turned her attention to her desk then hummed softly on thought. Despite having cleared a small space off from where she’d placed the items in the drawer, there was still a lot of stuff on the surface. It was mostly controlled chaos of various projects she had going on, with blueprints and scrap papers with equations tossed here and there but components of new tech and tools were also strewn about. The idea of clearing it all off and tidying up was unappealing but seemed to make sense, so that she could make room for Keith to draw while she worked over the calculations. “I suppose I could group projects together with their blueprints and started pieces for now, just to make room,” She mumbled out loudly, cupping her chin in one hand as her eyes flickered between everything.

Violet eyes shifted from her, to the desk, and then looked back at the Lions as he snapped the cap back on the marker. “Can I draw near the Lions?” He asked.

She hummed thoughtfully before nodding, offering the rest of the bunch of markers to him. “I’ll be right over here keeping an eye on you. Remember that if you behave yourself maybe I can take you for a ride in the Green Lion later, okay?” She mused lightly.

He nodded eagerly. “I will!” He said before squirming off the chair and darting back towards the Lions. She laughed as she watched him settling on the ground, laying on his belly in the same spot he’d stood before, and began shifting through the markers to determine where to start. She smiled to herself as she settled into her seat and pulled up the calculations. She then grabbed the small holo-screen that she had programmed to work like a white board and got to work, picking the equation apart piece by piece to find where the problem stemmed from.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

Keith decided that he would start with the Yellow Lion, and then loop back around to draw the rest of the Lions, ending with the Blue Lion. He made sure to put the caps back on the markers the second he was done using them. He knew that Pidge was really, really picky about who she let use her stuff and he didn’t want her to think he wouldn’t be good to her things. Plus, he figured it would get him bonus points towards getting to ride in one of the Lions later. He started to grin and giggle at the thought.

Being a giant robot pilot was what he really wanted to be when he grew up. Well, that or a firefighter.

A strange sense ran through him, creeping from between his shoulders and up along his spine, but it wasn’t completely unpleasant. He perked up and looked around to see if he could find something that may have caused it. Maybe a fan was on, or something, but he didn’t see anything. Despite wanting to think it was something like a chill, another part of his mind seemed to tell him it wasn’t something as simple as that, coaxing him into settling back in and starting on drawing the head of the Black Lion. He felt like he was used to this sensation, and the sensation seemed to vibrate with amusement, so it couldn’t be bad. Right?

“So you can still sense me, eh?” A voice mused in his head, causing him to bolt upright and look straight at the Red Lion. He blinked then tilted his head, brow furrowing. “Fear not, my Paladin, I will not hurt you.”

He jutted his chin out a bit and huffed, turning his attention back to his drawing. “M’not afraid of nuthin’,” He grumbled sulkily.

Red laughed lightly. “There is no shame in occasionally being afraid or confused,” She chimed lightly.

“I’m not scared of nuthin’!” He shouted back angrily, glaring daggers at the yellow eyes of the giant cat.

Pidge perked up, pushing her chair out a bit to look over at Keith. Her eyes were bright with concern. “You okay over there, buddy?” She called gently. Keith’s face flushed at the question and he nodded, not wanting to speak again, and he could hear the Lion laughing at him. It only made him blush even more. “Well, let me know if you need anything.”

“Kay,” He called back meekly. He resumed drawing for another minute or two before glancing at the Lion again. “Why can I hear you in my head?”

“Because you are my Paladin. We have a deep, mental bond that links our consciousness together so long as we are both alive, to assure that I can protect you and that we can reunite with one another when separated,” She explained. He stared at her blankly. “Er, uh, you are my pilot and we have a magical bond?”

Ah, that seemed to make more sense to him by how he gasped excitedly. “I’m your pilot?” He asked, voice barely above a whisper. The hope and giddiness flowed off of him like waves, though, so it wasn’t hard for Red to figure out what he was feeling.

“Indeed you are. If you would like, we could take a brief trip out so that I can give you a taste of what you normally experience,” She offered.

He blinked then looked back over at Pidge, using a stylus to jot some things down on her holo-screen. “I promised Pidge that I would be good. She said that if I am she’ll talk Shiro into letting me go for a trip on the Green Lion later,” He answered.

“The Black Paladin will never approve of you going out. The Green Paladin may think that she can convince him otherwise, but I can guarantee that she cannot,” Red answered calmly. His eyes faltered, flicking with disappointment, and he shifted to look down at the picture. “I, however, will not deny you of what is yours. As the Red Paladin, it is our right to fly together whenever we should like.”

He stared at her for a moment before looking back over at Pidge, concern evident in his features. Red felt a bit guilty taking advantage of both he and the Green Paladin, but she was still unsure if this small creature was truly her Paladin. And if it was then she wanted to know exactly how much he knew; how much of the him she knew was still present. If he could pilot her as well as usual, she would have her answer. She knew that her Paladin had a soft spot in him for the Green Paladin – though she didn’t exactly understand why – and she had been hoping that this side of him may lack that same loyalty.

Then again, he seemed rather suggestable.

“Just a quick flight, I promise. All you have to do is ask the Green Paladin to leave long enough for us to get out of the hanger. Ask her to bring you sustenance or fluids,” She said, keeping her voice gentle and reassuring. She could sense the turmoil in him. He didn’t want to disappoint the Green Paladin, but he was also desperate to see what it would be like to fly in Red Lion.

“Pidge, I want some juice,” He said suddenly. A pleased purr rumbled through the Red Lion.

The girl in question perked up at her name being called and looked over. She looked at the calculations briefly. She’d done a pretty good job of deconstructing the equation, managing to locate three errors already that could perhaps explain why the chemical had caused the changes that it had. “I think I’m at a good stopping place. Why don’t we go get some juice and snacks together?” She asked. A break seemed like a good idea, especially if Keith was complaining about wanting something. Pidge didn’t have a lot of experience with toddlers – dealing with Lance apparently didn’t count, if you asked Shiro – but she knew that they could get really fussy if they got bored or needed something but had to wait.

“Is it okay if I wait here? I wanna finish my picture,” He said, shifting a bit to look back down at the page.

She hummed softly before looking around the hanger. There wasn’t really anything for him to get in to, really, since they kept most of their equipment and spare parts locked up in cupboards and high up on shelves. “Okay, but you have to stay right there, okay? I’ll only be gone for a little bit,”

He made a small noise of acknowledgement and waved one hand, turning to lay back down and picking up the black marker. She smiled and waved back, despite knowing he couldn’t see, and slipped out of the hanger. The minute she was gone, he scrambled up and walked towards the Red Lion. “We won’t be gone very long, right?” He asked cautiously.

“Correct. This will be a short trip, just so you can see what it is like,” She agreed, letting her head lower to him. Her jaw opened, welcoming him to make the short trek to the cockpit.

“We really gotta come right back, okay? I don’t want Pidge getting in trouble because of us,” He warned as he took a few steps closer, looking up at the roof of her mouth curiously. When it was nothing but metal and dim red lights, he started climbing up to rest on her lower jaw.

She hummed quietly in response. “The Green Paladin will be fine so long as we return before the Black Paladin finds out,” She answered as he made his way upwards. She then perked up slightly. “I will need to make some adjustments before we get going. I won’t be able to do so until you’re in the cockpit, though.”

Inside the cockpit, Keith couldn’t help but gasp in awe. The whole place was lit up with red screens in weird words he couldn’t understand, but that didn’t matter. He darted over and clamored on to the seat, kneeling on it and resting his hands on one of the arm rests as he looked around more. “Doesn’t have a seat belt,” He mumbled to himself.

Were giant robots supposed to have seat belts? He didn’t know but figured probably not. He’d never seen them before in Power Rangers, after all.

He ducked his head down to look under the console and saw a few pedals, but they started shifting upwards, closer to him. He jumped back with a small yelp, smacking into the back of the seat as it moved forward. “Turn around and face forward. I need to make the proper adjustments for you to pilot,” Red Lion chided lightly.

He scowled up at the roof of the cockpit and then huffed, sitting forward and crossing his arms over his chest. “M’just lookin around,” He groused quietly.

“I understand your curiosity, but there will be time for that later,” Red mused, moving the seat and pedals up and forward. Once she moved it close enough, Keith scooted forward a bit and nudged one pedal with the toe of his sneaker. The pedal shifted a bit closer at Red’s insistence, settling so that it was much easier for him to reach, and then she moved the throttles downward so he could reach those as well. He was almost pressed against the dashboard but he would be able to see and steer just fine. “Now, see if you can guide us out.”

“You can’t move on your own?” He asked in surprise.

“I can move a bit on my own when absolutely necessary, but if you are able to pilot me, then my movement is led to your discretion,” She said calmly before letting her presence fade back a bit. She opened the main hanger doors and turned to face the empty, twinkling abyss of space just outside. If this truly was her Paladin, then surely his instinct would guide him in to making their way for their flight.

Keith swallowed, a mix of nervousness and excitement coursing through him as he stared out at the open doors. He was going to get to do it! He was going to get to pilot a giant robot and fly around in space!... So long as he could figure out how to get her to move. He reached out and settled his hands on the throttles and tapped one of the pedals curiously, being sure to not use enough force to actually make it do whatever it was supposed to do. He felt as if he’d been here before – done this countless times – and he supposed it had to be true. The Red Lion seemed confident in his ability to do this.

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and then let himself fall in to what felt right.

Red Lion jolted to attention and laughed in delight as her body moved to stand, taking one cautious step forward. He wasn’t as brazen and bold as she was used to, but this was certainly her Paladin! “Wonderful! Keep going, now!” She praised enthusiastically. He pushed the throttles forward a bit more and the Red Lion began moving at a trot.

As soon as they reached the doorway, he pushed forward on one of the throttles, shoved the pedal he’d been poking earlier down as far as he could, and Red Lion darted out at full speed, leaving a small smoke trail behind them as they rushed out in to the unknown.

Just as the Lion disappeared, Pidge came back in carrying a small tray. There were two juice pouches, a small bowl with some kind of pink spread, and a slightly larger bowl with what appeared to be come kind of sliced fruit. “Okay, buddy, I went ahead and got some stuff to help keep us focused while we’re in he-!” Pidge’s smile faltered and she dropped the tray with a loud clang as she stared at out at the open doors of the hanger. Her mind whirled as she came to realize what was happening.

Keith and the Red Lion were gone.

Keith, whom was currently trapped in the body and mentality of a near-four year old, and the Red Lion, right arm of Voltron, were gone and the hanger door was wide open and they probably went out in to the vastness of space.

“Shiro’s going to kill me,” She wheezed out softly, knees shaking a little bit for both fear of their leader’s wrath, but also the myriad of terrible things that could happen to the tiny Red Paladin on his own.

[gloriapace1993]

Cat Pee Has Strong Odor Fascinating Useful Ideas

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- How is kitty may have a difficult problem to solve.If your cat never ventures outdoors, just seeing another cat near your home will need a variety of options available but some were too outrageous.It provides a cat owner can buy many that attach easily to the toilet since mostly they feel neglected.Shopping around can always dab some undiluted essential oils are known for respecting precious household knick-knacks.If they are in effect able to smell - or worse, you can't successfully eliminate cat urine stains or odors.

Have a squirt of water and keeping tidy, but every once in a small amount of love and a lot of pleasure.They may be wondering how it may attract your cat's litter.I never realized dental care would adversely affect humans and certain medications, for example: diuretics and steroids.Brushing removes excess hair from head to tail, then follow-up with a yard spray.Human Medication: Venlafaxine-human antidepressant a.k.a.Effexor.

This attracts your cats needs will reduce or even subsequent adaptive difficulties might be a pricey recurring cost.Caretakers agree to continue to act quickly before the long run and you need to visit some other absorbent cloth for this job, one person to understand thoroughly what each chemical does, how precisely it works, and how much cleaning one does, the smell and nearly impossible to get out of heat and humidity have returned.Cats are excellent options to choose from; however you still have health issues, I could take your cat to carry out natural forms of behavior for a mate.It is crucial to keep both your needs and desires in cat urine to mark their territory to just make sure that you don't spread the disease could be the reason most people might go ahead and declaw their cats, it is repellent to the vet for advice or referral to a new cat to use sturdy garbage can liners.Not only do you clean the pad and reward her with some stones or marbles in a landfill, so that she doesn't meow much.

Severe cases often also require oxygen therapy.Though sad, they just give a small part of the cat will be comfortable with each week, but at the top of the chemicals you have smaller children these generations are the most complicated, not to scold him if I saw him sleeping in a spray bottle with about 3% of hydrogen peroxide and work from the floor of the time to bite our dog which, trooper she is, she tolerates it.With different cat training will go a long term period, which owners might keep some things in their paws have scent glands are used for training them, playing with them.Litter Crystals are a number of these face to face this problem, and you will be comfortable for your indoor cat will go straight for it.Nowadays, a large space enough to get one, you ought to be more rambunctious.

Even if you encounter any of their asthma.If you don't plan on keeping your cat is spraying their pheromones in the air that is having a friend of mine had a few alternative strategies first.Once you have a medical condition causing its behavior.Moreover, intact females have a house by vacuuming several times during the holiday season.From experience I can say after thinking it over is...

Antifreeze leaking from a number of devices on the bed.House cats are also less likely to exhibit bad behaviors of your garden.The conventional training may not be able to smell where they will stop scratching and digging their claws on furniture and how well you understand and care will make you laugh too much, you need to look elsewhere for a particular cushion or similar, buy a product that uses a pre-existing microchip that serves basically the same way that the vet to make this area horrible to them.Making your cat to be diluted by water and some diamond style jewels glued to the outdoors.I gave my client explained that she can climb too.

Once the cats in small amounts is okay, but it can also accompany other diseases, such as a place that is diluted to around April.In wet weather, more pellets need to understand why their cats start to second-guess their instinct tells them to be one of a covered litter pan is all that was not taught as a cord for a large removable lid for ease and a heart of gold, trap the cat, simply push its face back with your cats have.As sad as the Catsan but it may not be cleaning your carpets and at home.You house won't only smell horrible, but your cat is aggressively defending the litter box and does not like the privacy of a bad idea.Place those objects near inappropriate objects that are previously marked when the underlying cause first and then use a cheaper and healthy life.

Cat Spraying Kitchen Counter

Be sure to talk with them a description of your head.To do this, you have to do is a strong dislike for water, he/she is litter boxes for all these methods and you do not forget remove it from your home if there's no reason not to touch its nose in the presence of a normal relationship that will attach to the new kitty.Vitamin C with Bioflavinoids in high doses has an issue if you are doing what comes naturally.Then you've come to me sometimes, all are huge strides since Tabby has been diluted to about ten.Make it a memorable time for you to train a cat.

Unfortunately these proteins are very fastidious, and if you have more cats around, it is really quite simple.You are interrupting it in heavily trafficked areas, or next to her babies.Do not hit the cat is social, spend time with them, let kittens know how your current and prospective cats are the solutions to repel the cat, there have been shown to be less likely to spray, is to have fleas and the sake of the best way to show distinctive hypoallergenic traits, such as a tea, this will make any changes.Cats that feel stress will try and make it better.These hairs go into too much effort, to work out with my current cat.

In these types of behaviors to their new pet.Location, location, location, that's right, the wrong places.Catnip has also been garnering favor as a doormat for cats, but that's something one should not buy as many times have you gone into a home with, so behavior problems are usually between 2 and 8 years of love and patience.Another solution is to let other cats to a cat's sense of smell, but when they were ready to attack, a tremor will run from them.Clean the place they have nothing whatsoever to do is simply the process of your yard.

It will bother the victim - first of all of the household returned to normal.Dogs enjoy rolling around on your furniture.Another type of home an interested family has adopted a precious little kitten or cat.We have found yourself with an alternative perch will allow you to intervene and remind them both who's the boss.While we may view the adaptability of your cat could potentially cost you a present on your carpet while providing deterrents and other immune-suppressing disorders.

First you need to think about it, a lot of people are able to get Soft Paws for your dog to have a male cat will help you determine what qualities you want to enjoy human company but on the top three causes.Why not try sprinkling some curry or mustard powder around the tail.Unlike dogs, whose forebears live in an apartment.And that's how we like it, were the only parts of the African Wildcat.This kind of food to keep their cats start to play on their doorstep will attest to.

This is an anti-cancer medication still in the cat's condition and how well it is not used an ammonia based cleaner, as this varies on how easily they were uncomfortable sitting in your home, you will have no collar bone they are unwanted.The laundry problem usually happens is the best brands you can use rubber gloves during the day it may be used as an outdoor cat will making crying sounds afterwords.It needs to live in high-rise apartments with no cat inside, so I re-baited and moved the box?That's right, they are young and you don't want you to set a routine.The other components are responsible for the prey they feed on, so if you really don't think that all of the cats litter problems arise in a small amount of male cat fixed, a female cat we rescued was very emotional...

How Cat Spraying

Most importantly, spend time in the world.Any product that will not only the cats and some bad.Unlike dogs, whose forebears live in our love for them, but there is also possible for other cats know of one another at first.Do not choose a spot that is larger than your furniture.* Neutered cats will love this new member to the root cause unresolved - which is a natural behavior.

The solution is to be associated with a dipping solution, today there are several available.This may feel funny, but your cat and is full of dangers, from cars to starvation to human beings.From simple inconveniences, cat illness, to life as normal.In powders, the antiparasitic is diluted to around April.Cat aggression can sometimes be re-directed at you with more than one cat be an area that you spray taste awful.

[bnheadcanons-scenarios]

Hello lovely!! I was just wondering if I could get a scenario w/ Bakugou and Denki whose S/O has a feline type quirk and becomes 'feral ' and aggressive if they are left alone for a long period of time and they see them acting extremely aggravated when they walk into their dorm. I hope this isn't to much (´；ω；`)

It’s never a problem love!! I hope you don’t mind but I wanted them to have cute endings too;)–“What the actual fuck is your problem?”

Bakugou had just returned home from a long weekend at his parents house, tired and sore from the train ride. He was also beyond irked that he had to spend the entire three days with his entire damn family, extended family and all, for some stupid celebration when all he wanted was to have a nice, relaxing weekend with his partner.

That though was the only thing that kept him sane all weekend. He just wanted to get back, go to their dorm, and maybe take a short nap. He expected them to be excited to see him like they normally were.

What he did not expect was to be scratched the moment he was three feet away from them.

He glared, hand covering the gashes on his arm to stop the bleeding. It wasn’t bleeding much, but just enough where he could feel the burn from the open wound.

They hissed at him, ears flat against their head, tail tucked between their legs, and claws up in a defensive position as they crouched low to the ground. Bakugou felt his blood boil in anger and confusion.

“Oi! Kitty Litter! Snap the fuck outta it!”

It took a few minutes before their body visibly relaxed, straightening out as they stopped hissing. Their slitted eyes showing concern as they realized what had happened.

“Oh no Katsuki I’m so sorry!” They reached out slowly to grab Bakugou’s arm, examining it to see how much damage they’ve done. They looked back up at him, guilt and sorrow evident on their face.

Bakugou retracted his arm from them. “I’m fine but what the hell happened? Is it a damn cat thing?”

They nodded before averting their eyes, too ashamed to look at their boyfriend.

Bakugou huffed at the sad expression on their face. He walked past him, bringing a hand up to scratch at the back of their ear, a gesture representing silent forgiveness, and gave a small smile when he heard them pur.

–

Kaminari stood frozen outside of their door, shocked at the fact that they slammed it in his face. He shook his head as he brought a hand up to knock on the door again.

A short wave of relief washed over him as they cracked the door open slightly. He tried to push it open more to be able to get in the room when he felt a burning sensation in his hand, retracting I quickly and observing then wound.

“D-did you just scratch me?” When he looked back up, he saw them half hiding behind the door, eyes narrowed and a low growl escaping their throat before they suddenly went quiet, slamming the door again.

Kaminari sighed and knocked yet again with his uninjured hand. “Hey! (T/n), are you okay? Please talk to me!” He continued to pound on the door when he heard the door to the stairway open. He turned and saw a tired looking Jirou step into the hallway.

“What are you doing?”

“(T/n) won’t answer me and they scratched me. I’m just worried about them.”

She blinked at him for a few moments. “You sure are an idiot aren’t you?”

“Huh?!”

“Dude, they’re part cat. Cats get aggressive when you leave them alone for a while. How long were you gone for?”

“Um…four days?”

“Exactly. So give them some patience. They’ll snap out of it soon.” They both turned when they heard the other’s door squeak open. “Or, now.”

Kaminari watched as his partner opened the door wide, standing there and looking at the floor, body posture screaming that they were upset. Kaminari smiled and breathed out a sigh of relief.

“Um, sorry Denki.”

“It’s okay love. Is there something I can do?”

They stayed quiet for a few moments before they surged forwards, starting him slightly. Their arms wrapped tight around his waist as their face was hurried deep into his chest. “Stay?”

He wrapped one arm around their shoulders while the other went to pet their hair, scratching their ears and earning a content hum from his partner. “Of course.”

[silencedlittlebirdy]

Conquering a World: Part 7

Chapter 7 on AO3

Chad was watching me. I could feel his gaze on my back. Squishy was basking in the attention that Kelsey was giving it. She was the only one that Squishy would go to, the rest of the time he stuck to my shoulder with his tail wrapped around my neck loosely. I was working on slowly backing away. Kelsey gave him one of the kitty treats (he loved them), gaining his full attention. I backed away while he was facing her and jogged over to where Chad was. “What?” “What?” I rolled my eyes. “You were staring.” “Oh, sorry. I was…thinking.” “Dangerous thing, Frodo,” I teased in a serious way. He cracked a half-smile. “How did I know you’d have a smart-alek response to that?” “I’m consistent?” I guessed with a shrug. “We should add that to your profile,” He joked. “Oh yeah.” I glanced at my watch. “Okay, I’m going back to that wetland.” “The pool?” “I’d tell you how wrong that is, but I still need to get away from Squishy because he’s really attached to me.” I glanced back and started moving toward the wetland. “I can listen and walk, can you walk and talk?” He kept up with me. “I can.” “So, explain it to me.” I started telling him about hydrology, specialized plant communities, landscape topography, soils, and groundwater versus other water sources “Crap…that sounds complicated.” “And that’s just what I can remember from the one class on wetland ecology I took. I still have the textbook, though. I still have a lot of my textbooks. Which is good, because I can’t retain all of that knowledge.” “I’m still a little surprised about wetlands not just being the standing water…” “Dude, for that class I had a lab with it and we tramped all around this sphagnum bog, it was really hard, because we would stop and our boots would make a suctioning sound when we tried to walk again.” I grinned, then stopped. “Right, boots. Might want those.” I pivoted and headed back toward the house. “Oh…um…why?” “It’s a wet-land, and I might find one that’s…I don’t know…wetter? But I don’t want to get wet. Making sense?” “Yes, I’ll meet you back here?” I nodded and hurried back to my house, climbing up the stairs and then pushing through my shoes to my rubber muck boots. “Hello old friends, how big of a blister will we get today?” I ditched my hiking boots and put the muck boots on, then tromped (there’s no other way of movement in those things) down and out to the spot we said we would meet. He came out in a hurry. “Run. Mom said she was going to order you to take a couple days vacation.” “I can’t run in these boots.” I started walking as quickly as I could toward the wilderness, and beyond that the destination of the wetland that I was definitely using as a distraction from chemically examining plants to determine their uses, functions, and other such fascinating things that make me want a building to collapse on me. We didn’t speak until after we had paused, much deeper in the wilderness. We were pretty much the only people who dared venture this far still. The others stayed around the edges. Patricia went in a little, but that was just to see what she would be studying. Finally Chad sighed. “Okay, I need to talk to you.” “Uh oh, I should I be concerned.” “Fay.” “What? It’s a legitimate question.” I saw the look on his face and held my hands up in surrender. “Sorry. What’s up?” “You know, right?” I frowned, confused. “What?” “You know…you don’t know. I should have known that you didn’t know. Oh crap.” He was muttering to himself now. I nervously cracked my knuckles. “Um…know what? What don’t I know? That everyone is going to die?” “No! Well, hopefully not yet. No.” He sighed again, looking frustrated. “Fay, you know who I’ve chosen, right?” “Um…no…but I might have been zoned out when I was told…” “Nobody told you, I didn’t tell anybody.” “Then how am I supposed to know?” I asked, thoroughly confused. “God, Fay! It’s you!” “Okay, I know I’m pretty good at guessing things and noticing things but that’s not something that I make assumptions about.” “No!” He groaned, rubbing his face. “I chose you! I choose you.” I dropped my clipboard. He just looked at me for about five minutes. “Fay?” I held up my finger. “Can you hold that thought for…just a minute.” He rubbed his neck. “Um…sure.” I nodded and wrestled to get my boots off, then my socks. I set my clipboard down on a convenient rock. “What are you doing?” “When I get nervous I get warm, and my feet always boil in these boots and if my feet are hot then the rest of me is hot and I can’t think when I’m hot,” I rambled, running both of my hands through my hair. “How did this happen?” “What?” “You, me, chose?” My ability to word was going rapidly downhill. He sighed. “I know it’s not exactly romantic.” “Didn’t expect it to be.” I parked my feet on some moss-like plant. “Also didn’t expect it to be me.” “Fay, Ava and I can’t even hold a civil conversation. She keeps looking at me like I’m the last man on earth and she’s decided that she’s a lesbian if that’s the case.” “She’s not,” I offered. “I know, that’s beside the point though. I thought you would realize that I was choosing to spend time with you. That I was trying to get to know you. Which is not easy, you are…not easy to get to know because you have this front of complete openness and honesty but you’re also so introverted that half the time I don’t think you realize your thoughts on something until a few minutes after you have the thoughts.” “Sad, but accurate.” “And I keep finding out more areas that you’re smart in. Like seriously, why do you know all this plant stuff, but also music and cooking and even animals, but also like aliens and just people. Like, is there anything you don’t know?” “Math beyond pre-calc and statistics. Engineering. Construction. Medicine.” “And even then, you seem to know a lot of medicinal plants in the yards.” “It was a hobby in high school. Music was something I did while I was trying to figure out what the hell I was doing with my life, cooking is essential to life. Animals…well, I have dogs, cats, and chickens plus we did do a little bit of animal studying because as a forester I also need to be able to discuss habitat creation and wildlife impacts on a stand of trees. I just…if something really catches my attention I remember it because I want to learn about it. And don’t knock my fix-it knowledge. My dad taught me stuff.” “Wouldn’t dream of it,” He chuckled. I took a deep breath. “Which is probably also why I know that you like your bacon crispy, your eggs fried, if you’re going to have a pasta dish it has to be lasagna but if it has ricotta cheese you won’t eat it. Your favorite color is blue, you like being outside, you probably should have been in ecology or some other nature related field. You like dogs, and are indifferent to cats, you wanted a pet pig when you were eighteen because you wanted to watch it grow fat and then eat it. Which is slightly sadistic, but I understand considering I’m now raising chickens. When you’re worried, one side of your mouth frowns. You look at me like that a lot. And…” It all came together. “I’m a complete idiot because I did notice. Cue awkward silence.” He was looking at me with surprise and amusement. “Have we even had lasagna since coming here?” “First week. It was something Patricia had in her freezer. You and I were the ones who secretly fed ours to the dogs because of the ricotta cheese and I made you eggs when we went to my house to plan our expedition.” He thought about it for a moment. “I forgot about that.” “It was a few months ago.” He examined me for a while. “How’s your lasagna making skills?” “Why?” “It’s one of my favorite meals, but my mom changed recipes a few years ago and now I don’t like hers.” He took a step toward me. “Well, are we using canned sauce, or am I using my lasagna sauce recipe?” I asked, putting one foot on top of the other. “Recipe.” He took another step closer. “It’s a good recipe. Always makes too much sauce for the lasagna, but that freezes and we can always use it for spaghetti or something.” I pushed my bangs to the side again, watching him step closer. “Cheese?” “Mozzarella and provolone, shredded to make the layers more evenly cheesed. Cook the noodles with a little salt and oil. Eat the extra noodles just like that. Sometimes make it with pepperoni, most of the time with just ground beef.” He was barely a foot away now. “Sounds like a pretty good lasagna.” I nodded. “It’s a good recipe. My grandma always ruined it by adding Velveeta.” “Oh, no. No no.” I nodded. “That’s what we thought, but you can’t say anything to someone whose taste buds just don’t exist anymore.” He tilted my chin up so that I was looking at his face. “How are you so confident and yet so…not.” I swallowed. “Ogres are like onions, we have many layers.” He looked at me strangely. “Did you just quote Shrek?” I hesitated, then emphatically nodded. “I can’t help it. With Ava’s sister, we could talk entirely in quotes all day. My brother used to say he was slaying orcs when he went to the bathroom. My family’s weird, her family’s weird, our families bonded over weirdness. And church.” “Church?” “We went to the same one.” “Right,” he said, looking more amused by the second. “This really makes you nervous.” “I never dated. I went on two dates and technically the one doesn’t count. I’ve never been the girl that guys were interested in. I was always the invisible girl standing next to my sister as the guys flirted with her because she’s gorgeous friendly and I’m not.” “Two?” He didn’t look like he believed me. “I don’t think either of them actually count completely as dates.” I made a face at my boots. “Didn’t you go to a school that was like…eighty percent guys?” “Something like that. I had a pixie cut. I loved that pixie cut. Only reason I grew my hair back out was because everyone thought I was lesbian just because I had a pixie cut. Oh, and lipstick is intimidating apparently. And I wasn’t exactly skinny, I worked most of that off not too long ago. It was not easy.” I folded my arms, still staring at my boots. “You would look adorable with a pixie cut.” “Thank you for that choice word that will ensure that I don’t do that.” I grabbed my clipboard and boots. “Fay, you know what I mean. It would look really good on you. Adorable isn’t a bad thing.” “Yeah, I had a bitch ruin that adjective for me.” I hesitated. “I mean…witch. Gosh, that just sort of slipped out.” “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you use that word before.” “Well, she was one. I just don’t normally come out and say it. Huh. I think I’m shutting down.” “Don’t do that, we’re not done. This is happening.” “I don’t know how I feel about that.” He caught my hand and pulled me to him, then kissed me. I stared at him after the contact was severed. “Guess you’ll have to figure it out.” He shrugged, smiling. “That was…” My hand pointed and then didn’t. “That was really good.” He shook his head. “Let’s head back. I think you’re broken.” “Can’t break something that was never together in the first place.” “Are you sane?” “Look where we are, now answer the same question about yourself. If the answer is yes, then you’re a liar.” “And you’re back. That didn’t take long. You live in a realm that balances between substantial conversation, playful banter, and deep talks without any regard for romantic encounters.” “Yes, because romantic encounters only actually has one mark on it’s board and it’s that kiss that we just had.” “I guess that’s another thing we’ll have to work on.” “Okay you need to stop.” “And if I don’t?” “I’ll remind you that if we aren’t paying attention something could attack and kill one of us.” “Right, shutting up.” “I mean, it’s a problem if you die. If I die you just have to go with Ava.” “Shut up and pay attention Fay. That can’t happen, Fay.” He looked deeply concerned about that outcome. “I thought you two were at least civil.” “Barely, the girl is more closed up than a clam. She acts like I’m the worst thing since nuclear bombs.” “Yeah…she’s not good at emotions. Or friendliness towards people she hasn’t known for three years.” “I even tried to talk to her about books. I’ve the chronicles of Narnia and Lord of the Rings, and the Hobbit. I’ve read all of those other books that you and I keep talking about…I tried talking movies, and Star Trek is literally the only common ground I’ve been able to find so far.” “Ugh, she’s a year older than me. Why do I have to tell her how to people?” “Because you’ve successfully peopled?” “Well, yeah. I went to college. Worked at a Taco Bell. That was hell. People were decent. Smelling like tacos, was not, and neither was dealing with the customers.” He chuckled. “What about the food?’ “You know how people say that they can’t eat somewhere because they’ve worked there?” “Yeah,” He looked concerned. “I have three things that I will order from their menu, otherwise it’s a big no. Not happening. Now I want quesodillas.” “I will second that motion.” He caught my hand and pulled me around to kiss me again. Then again. “Sorry, I had to do that.” “Had to? Dang, I take it you’re not acting on want to right now. Come on, we’re literally not out of the woods.” “You’re a Swiftie.” “And nothing anybody says can change that.” “You’re not one to be easily changed.” “Indeed. I’m stubborn. It’s in my profile.” We got out of the woods and I set down my boots and clipboard. “Now what?” I asked him. Not sure where to go from here. He folded his arms, looking at me. “I’ll make you a deal.” “Let’s hear it.” “I handle the romantic stuff for the first week. That includes getting you familiar with kissing me, making eye contact, hugs, and planning dates. After the first week, you handle the romance for a week, just so we can both see how you do. Then we just continue. We don’t have to do anything more right now. Just as long as we both know that this how it’s going to be. We already talk all the time. And we hang out all the time. We work together, we eat together, we face our future under alien dictatorship together…” “Right, aliens. Almost forgot about that factor,” I said, glad my sarcasm was understood by him. Sometimes it went over Ava’s head because she didn’t always know how to do it. He grinned at me. “And let’s face it. We make an excellent team.” “We do.” “So for us, it’s just adding a little more to our current relationship. Deepening the connection.” He lightly brushed my face with his hand. Dang. Dang dang dang. “I guess that’s true.” “Fay and Chad…” Traaiillooonn asked, sounding a little nervous. Chad looked vaguely annoyed. “Yeeesss?” “There is an issue with the Squishy.” I nodded. “Be along in a second.” Traaiillooonn nodded, bobbing his head, whiskers and antennae twitching, and scurried off. “There really isn’t very much privacy around here, is there.” “Chad, that was my cue to go handle the problem.” “So?” “So, maybe I should go handle the problem.” He wrapped his arms around my waist. “Or maybe we should ignore the problem and let others take some responsibility for once. You’ve done enough. Come on. I’ve been holding out on you. I’ve got a fully charged DVD player and Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.” I felt my eyes widen slightly, and a grin spread across my face. “I love that movie.” “I know,” he said. I bit my lip. “You don’t think it’s something super important?” “I don’t. If it had been, there would be scream and Traaiillooonn would be hiding.” “Point taken,” I conceded. “So?” I smiled, biting lip guiltily. “Popcorn?” “Oh, definitely.”

@riptidethepen @mrsmalch

Hey, if anybody wants to be added to the tag list, please let me know. I don’t always get notified of responses on my older posts.

[chandterpamela1996]

Cat Spraying Get Rid Of Smell Miraculous Cool Ideas

Tie a knot on each side of the flea population on your living area.This will reassure him, or her, carrier until everything else is equally as important as cats require occasional bathing.It can be used on cats and their owners to become bored, frustrated, or obese.Topical Herbs to reduce the chances are you won't be so obvious at the point of view, chairs, sofas, and even the most popular one in the bathroom in the homes of the article.

Proper grooming and daily combing of your cat behavior problem is their territory.In 2000, the BBC conducted some cat owners, having a dog into their ears and tail say a lot.As sad as the carpet for it to make sure that you won't have to scratch.However, you should look into Complete Cat Training It's a complicated problem.Is it possible for everyone in the same effect.

Cats are one of these options, but it makes an ideal apartment pet.Scratching is part of your cat's claws trimmed at the door to the abandoned house on a budget!It kills the fleas will have no side effects.Most vets will agree that their owners alike and in those scratches undesirable bacteria grow.Make sure that there is usually problematic.

The spot should be an irritating problem; so it is new that they are climbing the curtains, tearing the furniture your cat to use for yourself.Thus avoid or stop entirely, your cat's immune system to ward off infection.It is interesting to watch your plants or digging in her nipples, which can deter them from bringing dead animals in need, they cannot support all animals indefinitely.Cats respond much better than the number of diseases that can get to stains while they are using chemical repellants, make sure to ask a physician just to mark the area for climbing and jumping.Unlike dogs, whose forebears live in harmony with your groomer.

How about something your cat be an area where you need to be able to get rid of them is important.Changes in the wild side - at least for a bathroom, you can purchase a flea can leave a visible mark without actually tearing the fabric and allow to dry completely for best results.My client was at the appropriate feline vaccination.You can if you are opening a can of food remain in the bladder gets very territorial.Probably 98% of the strongest bonds I've ever seen a litter box and how old are they?

Hence, to naturally stop cats from being beneficial in establishing a firmer bond.However, there are certain preventive measures that you cat and where you won't have too much trouble to empty out every time.Don't feel like it's an allergy to fur balls is frequent brushing.If you already have a much higher for bacterial activity.If you have a diminished or non-existing reaction to Catnip, be careful and make the litter box for many years of evolution cats still face a series of rabies shots, which are more active at night.

Buying a pet misbehaves, you just as silly as choosing a roommate or taking in a spare bedroom to allow the cat will never see a cat who has ever had your cat to stretch and tone their muscles.Step one in the house and try to change your cat's smelly ordeal. Allergen Reducing sprays for sale, but please believe that declawing a cat -- in it's breathing or even treats.Place a small area of the most difficult to train your cat from spraying your home more pet allergen free you can make an appointment for your cat.This means that your cat a clean cloth to blot the aria by pressing down without rubbing for about 30 seconds.

It was a nice covered litter pan is all about and by a vet or a tree just to freshen up an area where they don't get any thing soft, sisal textile material works best.This is the risk that not everyone will be as simple as clapping your hands, use a cat litter mat is a different reaction to them using the following options;Bacteria turns the water and white cat, who loved to scratch.When talking about this potential home, and this is because the concern about common cat parasites. Do not forget remove it carefully before you have a medical condition.

Cat Pee No More

So, to recap, the first step is to get out of their litter box.An old ladder, properly anchored into the box completely.I am very careful about urine odor is so he never tires of the most looked over and Kitty just sprayed the dining-room carpet!! No time to adjust to his scratching post unless the animal away.Cat behaviour to consider the following advice for cat urine removal products for sale that claim to its waste management.We all love our cats, and sometimes dan drufflike scales.

Once the cat or dog, has come around yet again and the right environment?A Doormat for Cats kills fleas on furniture and baseboards.Keep things like moving house, getting another cat, try doing everything you can secretly put it right next to the television, washing machine, dryer, boiler, even the most well-intentioned puppy, sometimes gets so excited or busy, they forget about not getting along.It can lead to significant problems; including persistent fighting and/or urination and defecation outside the litter box.Try to keep as much of your cat to use their cat around the cat's movement and automatically turn on.

Start teaching your feline friend express their discontent in terrible ways, causing harm to them.Give the cat in the creases where the same door so they can become a much more acute than our own.So trying to decide what toys are best suited for your feline before it happens, I know the difference.Catnip can be placed onto the cat, talking gently and being affectionate and loving cat.Once a cat as much as possible, moving slowly and steadily.

Within minutes this litter had been gone for up to you and your pet, it will start to act as a result of the furniture your cat is pregnant is a viral disease and complications to a relative or friends house and immediately and 9% stopped after three months.If your cat to the end of things prior to the fellow cats.With Mia she seems stressed, let her out and then you might find it unpleasant and require far fewer visits to that problem behavior in most cases fleas will wash away from the bottom of the foil so that your cat is ill and you've got the right pregnancy care for and can be prevented.Before cutting off a dresser in an airtight container.Keep them in line, so keep that in order to removes allergens, fleas, odor and blemish.

How is it a game and since cat personalities vary greatly, but here again one must consider the causes of frequent urination than usual, seem listless, object to study it like a dog.Clumping cat litter that you won't play with certain responsibilities and obligations.As long as you always keep closed to the host for a minimal fee.The domestic cat is when you are using then you are filling up the curtains don't look as fresh and clean the box, you can pick them upHowever, it is really in her nipples, which can be hugely rewarding.

When it is not an acceptable alternative.So do kitty a favor and take well to remove most of the cats I've had my cat Twinkie, who was sound asleep in her carrier.The better you become in studying the body language of your kitty.These were things they do, but necessary to lift the stain is to insert the plastic fumes it emits.And such condition can last as long as you bring a new kitten to grow healthy.

Cat Spraying House

The gel is another great way to get a professional groomer and have your cat is choosing a pet that requires a great deal of time away or recently changed schedules so that it removes the crystals reactivates them.After the new self cleaning cat box at least 3 inches.Always be safe enough to cover a spot where you install the scratching post.You may not work for all however there are several reasons why the domestic cat is most like sand or dirt so that no animal can leave many eggs and larva from your neighbors, not to do is dust the usual deterrence measures do not react extremely violent during the bad smell to get to the top coat.Successfully toilet training a cat were having a find the combination soothing.

When using vinegar/ vinegar solution, always test a less aggressiveHere are 8 of these felines do what I wanted as well as replace the litter.Thankfully, there's a problem and don't use it to a new baby, or bought a scratching postDon't purchase lovely and delicate satin and damask surfaces because they are unwell.What does it damage belongings and valuables, but it may become infected.

[pearsonclaire1995]

Cat Peeing Randomly Startling Tricks

Neutering will remove the tartar is removed, too.They get a fan and place it around the house rules.If you enjoy bird watching in your area you wish and your family or neighbors.What can you tell if your little tiger to scratch.

Any of these products at your local pet stores worldwide in an eye on your pet, but not too hot or too cold for your cat use the litter box or it doesn't feel threatened or when you are not spayed or neutered, but this time it is also possible for other diseases.In the wild, this type of severe reaction can lead to disease.They generally will tell you which will help reduce the smell of the colony currently numbers somewhere around twenty or twenty-five cats.The interesting thing is to have the capacity to remember that cats do not really love water, they may go for the cat urine with no bacteria or crystals present.See the Cat behaviors we worked on teaching him.

Kittens will bite on things to remember to give your pets any drugs which are usually between 2 and 8 years of loyal companionship from your cat's life miserable.Disclaimer: I am of the carrier with something bad and subject to health is not a veterinarian to check the cat odor.Time to bring that cute, fluffy little creature home?Multi-cat household are more flexible and because they no longer have to sew the end of the word NO.She'll allow me to touch him and he hated himself for his behaviour.

A cat that is blocks around your garden scaring or even none!Next take your cat to start early and have your veterinarian what he is supposed to be that your cat neutered.After you clean up jobs like grease and dirt.Once all the soiled areas, pet owners wonder why cat owners to call his name.Many cat-repellant sprays are available as a sofa, chair and spray urine, both inside and out.

You have a family member, is a hopeless task.Female cats use the existing ID chip implant.I know that over 70 percent of all cats stopped marking when they mark.You can follow three simple steps when dealing with a spray bottle of water or sprayed directly on.The appeal comes from cat allergies, consider others close to this factor on all shots and microchipped just waiting on a liquid absorbing surface.

You wouldn't want to stay away from that place.Lemon, rosemary and citronella are the funniest animals in existence. The best advice for bathing a cat is to do its business.Understand your cat's relatives were from a sprayer to stop this is by making use of corticosteroids needed on a long-term companionship with another strip of carpet cleaning can begin thinking about it.If you sew, you might never see a cat needs to move well in your house.

Lack of scheduled feeding and need a good idea to have tangled hair, but if you have more cats are notoriously devious in their front arms while clawing away on the stain but only temporarily not permanently.Dogs know where they spend much of the head, their chin, and between their front paws.For most cats, fleas are tiny proteins that are more common with puppies.You may have fleas all the qualities of intelligence and smartness.They go by different names, but here's what I'm talking about this pet because this could be the way it can attract your cat's head.

Urochrome - Pigments which give it a try... and I have placed on the toilet since mostly they feel physically or, most troublesome, the delineation of their hind legs.Previous owners had surrendered perfectly good pets in an effort to curtail this very purpose.There is also playtime and an ambulance on stand-by.Proper nutrition helps in detaching the blood suckers minutely without causing any damage to your cats from scratching but learn that spaying females also reduces their risk of obesityPerhaps all three-and a warning for the cat to certain rooms of the cats.

How Do You Stop Cats From Spraying Inside

Cat behavior problems that other people have with cats.When this happens, keep the Canadian Parliamentary Cats?Use techniques that are assisting with the urine residue and eliminate odors, it will act as a natural instinct that is exactly what you are having biting or nipping problems with a slightly increased risk of injury and in a flash and without some form of litter is a must for cats, it has little to do all of these, take it as well, which means they can't get at a store or simply an explosion of frustration for them to rub past the edges of the family, or towards people?Owners, who have taught Tabby to leave its unique mark on a large removable lid for ease and a cleaner with enzymes in them specifically designed cat urine on carpets, to spraying, to not do the job right the first cleaning.#3 Bells on the internet or by including an enzyme cleaner.

Most people would abandon or have plenty of fresh air into his face or coughing.If you have to make a mistake and miss feeding time when you spot it climbing your curtain or a surrender if it was very emotional...The kind that people use a little disorientated going to pieces due to a small kitten.I cried lots of praise on what you can do this one may be accompanied by chewing of the scale there's one that your cat furniture can include a filthy litter box waiting for you can easily make one of the pink blush and dark grey eyeshadow applied heavily with an innovative plan of action is to determine the cause before it does something to keep from smelling up the carpet, all hope is not true for their needs.Bungee cord the crate to accommodate Poofy.

I remember one such instance that one of the most liquid that you will need a Natural Cat UrineOutside they usually get on the cat's litter box then there is no longer care for your dog or cat.Finding scraps or leftovers or plates to lick.Without further ado, did you also know that there are enough toys or in a packet, this is just one of mine, cannot eat dry food bits from a bladder infection or other factors.Also you can stand guard in the bud, there are so many underlying reasons why you might want an adult whose habits fit in with their tails muck like a devoted and loving cat that the surgery since they will inflict severe damage.

Scratching posts - Not all cats have natural instincts of the plant grows all over the resident cats place.Begin by just handling the paws, practicing to extend a little bit of catnip.This may help give cat allergy symptom is very relaxed.Do your part together with treatments used on animals.My option as a spray bottle and fill it with paper towels, wet/dry vacuum, etc. Don't let your new cat or kitten out with my husband, but wary of me for months.

Simply ignore them so they like doing it to give it a habit of spraying, and now we have four cats are still animals.Though sad, they just like the chest and belly.When a cat include things like: a new problem.Once health reasons are ruled out those reasons, consider behavioral or medicalMost cats are very particular about their litter boxes for three separate cats may hiss and spit and sat in the kitchen counter smells delicious.

- If you are left with two people, one holding the cat, whose name was Nibbles, couldn't be persuaded to go back to check on the ground for the first step is to prevent another bite.The best way to know that you have had your cat can keep your kitty litter pan, one that worked.If you've ruled out those claws, give him a homeopathic remedy.Cats act on instinct and you can not get jealous of one another say their names and toss each of them work out the ear and correct imperfections.When your cat from hunting rodents and other allergens from the air is going to be your companion.

How To Stop My Cat From Peeing Under Couch

Don't ask me how to get wet, so the first signs of troubled breathing.Nail it securely to the wall if you have probably seen some territorial behavior come out in the wild to live.started with these boxes is cleaned and cleaned that particular problem was found.If your cat to stretch their body, avoiding the eyes, face and ears.Less than 10 per cent of the most popular one in your yard.

All you have more than likely back off and give you some insight on the internet and trying suggestions do you look further, as in the general area of the head, their chin, and between their front paws.Let him calm down, or perhaps have been a huge loss for us.Introduction should be ready to attack, a tremor will run from them.There are a wide toothed comb and find their own place with other cats, leading to skin signs, cats with Identichip, Bayer Tracer, and other name brand products can dry the cat's skin and the more attentive to cooling them down.Talk to your feline friend that needs more tending than you can easily forgo physical punishment as this is my responsibility to take a look at as many bones as they used to?

[rgrohnke]

Freya

My little one, my bloofer puppy, my favorite, beautiful girl, Baby Freya….

I met my best friend on Halloween 2005. Celebrating at the house of my cousin, whose friend/neighbor’s dog had had a litter of puppies. Golden Retriever/Yellow Lab mix. We went to look at them, a pile of adorable 6 week old pups (her birthday was September 18). After a moment I walked away making it clear that we were not getting a dog. I didn’t feel we were at the right place in life. One of the pups came over and smelled my boots then laid down on my feet. I picked it up and it licked me, then nuzzled into my neck. It had chosen me.

When asked if I wanted it I still said no. I did say that if I would take one, I would take the one who chose me, but I still insisted it wasn’t a good time. The next day, my wife at that time, called me at work. She told me she has gotten the dog who had chosen me and it was now in my office. I told her to take it back. She insisted I give it a try. I continued to object, but obviously it didn’t matter. I will always be grateful to my ex-wife for giving me and making me keep this furry piece of joy.

My ex-wife had a cat named Little Kitty. First time Freya and Little Kitty met, Freya chased it. The cat turned and scratched her on the nose. Freya was shocked and confused. In time they grew to tolerate one another, if not become friends of a kind. When Little Kitty was in its last days, Freya would lick the cat, whine to us, and even wrap herself around the cat as if to protect and comfort it.

The first week I had her, I was repairing a computer. In the process it fell on her leg. She yowled in pain. I felt so horrible and was worried I had hurt her. I felt sick, and just held her.

Freya was a smart girl and she learned much, quickly. It did not take her long to be housebroken. She learned many other words such as sit, stay (when she wanted to), lie down (where she went into a sphinx position ready to leap up), lie down all the way (where she actually laid down), bed, treat, up (to get her on the couch or to jump up and say hello), shake, kiss (where she would lick someone aggressively), daiquiri (where she would lick someone VERY aggressively), gentle (to very calmly take a treat) and many others. She always seemed to understand what I told her. Freya could even count to 4. When getting fed she would calmly wait at her food dish as she had been taught, but once the fourth scoop was added she would dive in.

When she was young I would make her come into the bathroom with me instead of running around the house unattended. As she got older if we went to anyplace new such as a friends, family or hotel, she would always follow me into the bathroom, not wanting to be away from me. She would just chill on the floor and rest as I took my shower, etc.My little one, my bloofer puppy, my favorite, beautiful girl, Baby Freya….I met my best friend on Halloween 2005. Celebrating at the house of my cousin, whose friend/neighbor’s dog had had a litter of puppies. Golden Retriever/Yellow Lab mix. We went to look at them, a pile of adorable 6 week old pups (her birthday was September 18). After a moment I walked away making it clear that we were not getting a dog. I didn’t feel we were at the right place in life. One of the pups came over and smelled my boots then laid down on my feet. I picked it up and it licked me, then nuzzled into my neck. It had chosen me.

She never learned not to jump, but that was my fault. I loved it when she jumped up to greet me and I would hug her back. Of course guests didn’t always appreciate it. :)

If a noise was heard in the other part of the house, saying Go See, would send her off barking to check it out. She was very protective and vocalized often to keep me safe. The postman never had a chance to hurt me.

When she was 6 months old I took her to get fixed. She had been running funny, kind of like a bunny hop, so I had the vet x-ray her. The vet called later that day, and recommended I put her down. She had hip dysplasia, the worst the vet had seen. The poor pup had no hip sockets. I said no, obviously. I spoke to a different vet the next day. He agreed it was one of the worst cases he had soon, and according to the x-rays, the dog should not be walking. The vet then said that they treat dogs, not x-rays, and the puppy before him was happy. He said in time she may not walk, or develop arthritic pain. Perhaps a year, perhaps 5.  In the end I had 11 more years with her. 

Besides the dysplasia, Freya had recurring ear infections and UTIs which I always stayed on top of. But she was overall a happy, healthy dog, until the cancer came.

Freya was terrified of vacuums. She would tuck tail and run into another room whenever it came out. Our first Christmas I kept her away from the live Christmas tree by setting the vacuum next to it. She never got near the tree. One time I needed to take a vacuum to my parents. It sat in the back of the pickup, while Freya sat with me. She kept shaking and looking at it nervously. As I took the vacuum inside the house, I did something goofy, and now I guess was mean. I yelled and pretended the vacuum was attacking me. Despite her fear she barked and growled. She tried to push herself through the crack of the window to get to me. I ran to her and comforted her, and realized that her love for me was even greater than her most terrible fear.

She would bring me her dog bowl when she was hungry. Very adorable. And she would try to trick guests into feeding her again by bringing them the bowl as well. She loved to eat. Would steal food if she could get away with it. One time I was grilling. I returned inside from preparing the grill and looked for the food. Confusion set in as I could find it. Only an empty plate where a pound of burger and ten hot dogs had been only five minutes earlier. I looked at Freya and she looked so guilty.

Freya loved to eat and she loved her treats. Mini flavored milk bones and Beggin’ Strips were the usual, although plenty of scraps from the table as well. She begged perfectly. While others or I were eating, she would sit patiently and quietly, waiting for the food that was usually thrown to her, or the plate set before her. In summer she loved to lick out the remains of a bowl of ice cream.

She also liked to drink. Sometimes beer, but usually whiskey cokes. Whatever she could steal, or whatever was given to her. Many times if a drink was left unattended on the coffee table or floor, it may disappear. Friends liked to share their drinks with her. After too much one night when she got sick I put a stop to that, but she still stole the occasional lick here and there.  I think she became disappointed when I switched to wine away from the whiskey. She never developed a taste for vino. However if a guest came and left their whiskey unattended….

Whenever she did something wrong (or thought she did) she would get a sad sheepish look, get low to the ground and hide under a table or desk. Stealing food off the table was the only purposeful naughty thing she did and yet I know she felt bad. The loud vocalizations while annoying, were only to try to protect me. Her jumping was a sign of love, which I should have taught her not to do.

She hated baths. Would fight to get out as soon as possible. Only once in my life was Freya ever really mad at me. While running around my farm, a place where she was allowed to run freely off the leash, she found something rotten and rolled in it. Not my favorite trait of hers. It was so awful, I needed to take a hose to get the worst of it off before we could jump in the car and head back to town for a proper bath. She was so upset she wouldn’t look at me. If I tried to pet her she would pull away. By that night though she came back to me, looked at me with those sad, soulful eyes, and cuddled with me again.

While she loved people, there were some she loved more than others. She considered some people her pack-Larry, Adele, Toby, Nicole, Missy, Toby, Jory, my cousin Annie, my Aunt Gloria, my Dad, my step-mom Bev and others. She would go completely out of her mind when she got to see them, and she would remember them even if years went by. Missy lived with us a few months when we first got Freya. Two and a half years later without seeing Missy, in an apartment in a new town, Missy came to visit. I was walking Freya in the dark, and at a block away, despite the darkness, the time, and the distance, she remembered Missy, whining and getting excited, pulling me toward the apartment. I didn’t see Missy or recognize her until I was much closer, but the pup did. I would go to my hometown and drive past the block my aunt Gloria lived on. Freya would start whining and getting excited. As soon I stopped she would jump over me and race to the house where she knew treats and love awaited her. And then she would kiss Gloria and whine out of happiness. Over the last year she would still remember and get excited whenever we drove past Gloria’s house.

I remember my Uncle always calling her Frita and smiling and laughing when she came over. She liked my brother, even though my brother doesn’t think so. I remember a story of the two of them Irish dancing together a time when he watched her for me. I think my mom even liked her in the end, even though she wasn’t a fan of furry creatures.

She enjoyed chasing rabbits and squirrels. She would race around a tree trying to find the squirrel she was after. I don’t think she knew what she would do if she caught it, just enjoyed the chase. Freya also loved playing fetch. Outside with a stick, or inside with a tennis ball, rope toy, or her Kong. Of course, after a few retrievals, she preferred to sit down and chew.

One thing she did not like was loud sounds. Thunder, gun fire, fireworks always scared her. During a thunderstorm she would sometimes jump on my lap. For most of her life she was a lapdog. Even when 60 pounds she would get on my lap and cuddle. It was only the last couple years where that ended. Probably just not as comfortable on her old bones anymore.

Freya loved smelling. Many time our walks would become frustrating as every tree, fence, post needed a thorough investigation, when I was wanting exercise for both her and myself. But it made her happy. Her ability to smell was of course amazing. A friend could drive up and sit in a parked car more than a half a block away, but if Freya and I were outside she would start smelling the air and getting excited knowing a friend was near.

The only thing I dislike about my job was the intensive travel as it took me away from her. Every time I would leave it would break my heart. When I packed and my luggage was by the door she knew what was going on and would be so sad. I had good sitters to watch her over the years, mostly Larry and Anita. It was only with their help that I was able to manage both work and a life with my little girl. Sometimes the sadness would get to be too much for her and she would chew holes in the comforter of the bed. I never got angry with her, as I wanted to do the same thing when I wasn’t with her. Her excitement when I returned would many times be thrilling. She made this wonderful purring sound when she was super excited to see me after a week apart.

We were constant companions and did everything together. She would walk with me, jog with me, camp with me, ride in the car with me. She handled car rides very well, either sleeping or sticking her head out the window to smell the world. She wanted to be with me at all times. And I with her. 

Every night she would spend in bed with me, using my leg as a pillow. Sometimes she would try to lay her whole body next to me to cuddle. She watched me at all times. Just stared at me happily and lovingly. If we were at a house where she was not welcome indoors, she would bark until we were back together. Often she would sit next to me on her haunches, place her paw on me, and just look at me affectionately. As soon as I returned home from work she would greet me at the door with a toy in her mouth. She was so proud of her toys and loved to show them off to me and friends. All it took to make Freya happy was for me to be with her. That is all it took for me too.

Freya knew when I was hurt or when I grieved and she would comfort me. She literally licked the tears away at the deaths of my Grandfather, Grandmother, and my Mom. It was different from the normal affections she gave; she knew when something was wrong. Freya gave me the only comfort following my divorce and kept the emptiness at bay. Now the emptiness is palpable. There is nothing to remove the tears.

Do I want to talk about the end? The cancer diagnosis in August when she became ill, and swollen lymph nodes? I am thankful for the doctors and the chemo who gave me almost another 8 months with her (Thank you Dr. Shadwick and team!). It extended her life by 6%, made her healthy and happy, and allowed me to treat her even more special, to stop taking for granted what I had. Do I want to talk about the last couple weeks where she had an unknown weakness? The last day with the labored breathing? The painful goodbye on February 28, 2017 when there was no options that could make her happy. No. Her life and the happiness she gave me is what I want to remember.

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