#to be clear; alder absolutely does do more selfish things; but she's in denial about it

[arbitrarygreay]

The root of Talder tragedy

Tally doesn't think that intent is magic, but Alder kind of does? So, Alder often talks about having no choice, and how the ends justified the means (example: her decision to deploy the Citydrop privates), but ultimately, she falls back on her internal motive, that she did all of the things she did with the intent to protect her people. She believes that that is sufficient to engender (enough) trust between her and the unit to work together in 1x10. Tally is focused on the practical fallout of things. In 2x6, "[Alder] causes more problems than she fixes, doesn't she?" In 3x1, she beats herself up for accidentally compromising the Dodger facility. "Oh, if you ever need anyone to ruin everything, I am available. No, seriously. Alder, Penelope, now this? I may just be the Camarilla's greatest weapon." something something linked to how her Sight focuses her on how the world will be, not how she wishes. So, of course, these two mindsets collide in the worst possible way in 2x5. Tally is focused on the effect of Liberia leading to the creation of the Spree. Very notably, Alder immediately concedes the point that it was a bad call. "one of my deepest regrets", "an even deeper moment of personal failure", "prideful failings". She did the same in 1x10, easily conceding that she did all of the things the unit accused her of, holding that she wasn't the same as Spree simply because of her motive. In 2x5, what Alder fires back at Tally as the transgression that Alder is offended by isn't about the actions. She is incensed by "accusations of conspiracy and nefarious intent". Arguably, Alder does not pursue punitive action against Tally for this because Tally successfully protests the framework. "I just wanted answers" successfully shows that Tally was not looking at Alder's intent. Unfortunately, Alder and Tally are similar on this point of what stirs them to anger: to be willfully misunderstood. Alder tolerates the power-jockeying of her subordinates for the most part, so long as they're on the same page that it's all for the sake of protecting their people. For anyone to intimate that she does more selfish things is where she gets incensed. I wrote previously how Tally gets the most enraged when others impugn how she should feel. So, Alder thought that Tally attacked her intent (which is magic), but then let it go when Tally cleared that up. Unfortunately, in doing so she attacked how Tally should feel and act about it. And the root of the tragedy is that though they are similar in what moves them to anger, they are drastically divergent on how they act on that anger. Where Alder's reaction to slights is to rebuke then forget (because she has the power to do so), Tally's reaction to slights is to burn bridges. So, Tally doubles down on "it's about the consequences, intent is not magic" and tries to tear it all down. In 2x10, her empathy wins out. She says to both Nicte and Alder that she understands that they didn't have nefarious intent. However, this is Tally just sympathizing with them, not that she has changed her mind on what matters. She can't get over how her own actions seemed to have backfired, no matter her intent. (And so, this history fundamentally influences how Tally and Alder interact in S3, where they consciously try to avoid falling into the same failure modes with engaging with each other.)