#to answer your question Both! I'm schroedinger's gender

[doofnoof]

Hey Bug I read your tag response to the oc post and I have a question you’re not obligated to answer!

Pronouns and gender interest me, especially when people use ones that aren’t the same as/associated with their sex, and I’m curious if there’s a reason why you use both it/its and they/them?

It/its is commonly used to refer to objects, and I’m wondering if you use those pronouns because of that (the association of something outside the binary) or because it’s just gender neutral.

This is very random and I hope I worded it okay :)

I was writing a longer thingie here, but I'm shortening it here because I could talk for Hours about Gender. So. For me, gender was always a prison. I was expected to be a Girl, and as a girl I could really only reach for Second Best most of the time. It sucked.

I finally felt like myself when I made friends (real friends) for the first time in Washington, which was a much more liberal area than where I had been raised. Nobody really bullied me any more, and I finally found someone that made me feel like I didn't have to be afraid to be Myself. Eventually I found out that I liked girls and that it was an okay feeling for someone who was also a girl to have. I made friends with my friend's friends and their younger sibling, who I got along with as a Fellow G1 My Little Pony Fan And Toy Collector.

Something still didn't feel right though. I was finally Myself, but I still woke up every day cursing god that I was a girl and was expected to do and want girl things. It sucked. I didn't wanna be a girl. I didn't wanna be a boy either, I was just trading out glittery pink princess shackles for metallic blue football shackles. Shackles are still Shackles no matter how cool they look, and I'm not one to just go along with what everyone else wants me to do, at the very least I'll fight the whole way.

One day, my friend's younger sibling pipes up in our group chat and says "Hey I'm Nonbinary and use They/Them Pronouns, please call me [Name] instead of [deadname] from here on out." I didn't know what all of these words meant at all. So I messaged them and asked, because what else are ya gonna do?? They filled me in on the whole thing with Gender being a Spectrum, and they were simply choosing No Gender With Left Beef. Once they were done explaining I almost couldn't believe what I'd heard, it was like they'd taken every secret desire in my heart and said "hey this is possible and also super cool and you can do what you want actually." Like it really did just all fit into place for me. A little while later I came out as nonbinary because I didn't wanna steal their thunder but I was 110% ready to be Done with the whole Girl Thing. Didn't decide to go by a different name until I told my mom that I'm nonbinary. She still doesn't get it and won't use the name I've chosen even to this day, but you can't win 'em all, and I'm glad to finally know who I am.

I don't feel a lack of gender though, if anything I feel Almost Too Much Gender. White isn't the absence of color, but it's actually all colors at once. When light shines through a prism, it refracts into a rainbow. That's the closest I can get to explaining my gender. I'm genderfluid, so some days I'm more purple than blue, or more yellow than green, but they're all there in different amounts, you just can't see it unless I shine a light on it, really. They/Them also works because I contain multitudes. It's Great. Gender is a Spectrum and I'm a Rainbow.

Onto the it/it's thing. I've always loved insects and little creatures Too Small and Strange to Put a Gender To, most people can't look at a Roly-Poly and say Oh That's A Girl Insect, they just hold it up on their finger and admire it's cute little antennas. I've Always Fucked Heavily With That. But that's not what fully It/It's'd My Gender. I was at college and having moved to a Much Less Liberal Place Than Washington, there was a group of girls making fun of trans people for Anything They Could Think Of because they're bigoted and slurs are funny or whatever. I mentioned that I'm gay and use they/them pronouns, and cracked a few Tumblr Jokes™ like the good old "I'm about to make your pronouns was/were," and got a few laughs. And then the girl that started this whole mess was uncomfortable that the spotlight wasn't on her anymore and said some unfunny shit like "lol this table's pronouns are it/it's!!! Lmao!!! how ridiculous 😂🤣😂🤣" and I decided then and there that those are gonna be my pronouns. And funny enough, even after I left college, the pronouns stuck, I really like them! They feel comfortable, like the right pronouns for a Bug such as Myself.

My Gender Journey has mostly been stumbling into different Gender Things and trying them on, and if I don't like it then the gender goes back on the rack. If I do I just take it home with me and style it however I please. Gender doesn't have to be a prison!!!! Sometimes it can be your fucking home!!!!!!! It's Great!!!!!!!!

TLDR: friend freed me from gender prison and I found they/them pronouns bc I have lotsa the Gender Fluid in me, someone made fun of it/its pronouns so I decided to make it uncomfortable for them to be transphobic, ended up Liking it/its pronouns.

Can't believe that this is the shortened version of my original post. Thank you for asking Minty!!!!!! This was a fun trip down memory lane :)