#to BE NORMAL OR GO TO THERAPY WHEN THEY'RE NOT DOING ANY HARM U ARE THE FIRST WHO SHOULD LEARN BOUNDARIES

[stelashe]

If you ask me to be normal I'd be the freakiest version of me in front of the children on purpose

[ghostboneswrites2]

I think you're literally the only person I've ever see show common sense regarding shipping and adult and kids. Like fr if I say it's wrong I get hit by barrage of it's fiction, it's not real, it's a coping mechanism, it's ship and let ship, pro shipping is valid. I see so many posts going round saying it's not ethical to criticise a fictional ship that's problematic because it's not real. But for example using Cegan faces via the actors is JDM and Chandler Riggs who is a child. Like I feel like I'm going insane sometimes. Also people who deliberately write incest or stuff like that because they are into it or are drawn to it like... I've had people say it's only fictional incest they're obsessed with. It's not like it's part of a plot like house of the dragon where it's also looked down on and hated in their fictional world. It's like people are writing it for their own gratification and that worries me. I wrote JDM x OC because I'm heavily into JDM and writing Negan is living vicariously. I project on to an adult oc. But to ship Cegan is to project you're sexually attracted to either children or the idea of an adult and kids together which is just hugely gross

Absolutely NO hate to this anon bc I fully agree but do want to both answer this ask and use it as a quick little PSA that I will no longer respond to shipping discourse on this blog. This will be the last one! I don’t want any of this drama to deter my followers and cloud their feeds. Henceforth this blog is Daryl fanfiction only! 💚 ((If you do want to talk about this feel free to use my other blog @crxss-bxw))

Anyways, yeah I fully agree. Writing adult x child content is incredibly sus and so is consuming it.

I like to assume (for my own mental health) that most of them are kids and they just have the hots for an adult character so they think it’s okay but the sad reality is that a lot of the people participating in these pedophilic ships are adults and it’s a form of grooming imo to put that sort of content out there and normalize it.

It desensitizes the reader to things like pedophilia (or in other cases incest or beastiality).

They can say “minors DNI” all day but that’s not gonna stop a minor from interacting.

They can call it a coping mechanism all day but if you’re a victim of CSA then you need therapy to help you learn real healthy coping mechanisms. You don’t need to seek out adult x child content that romanticizes the very behaviors that traumatized you in the first place. That is doing way more harm than good.

And the “it’s fictional” argument is flimsy and made of straw. Lolita was a work of fiction too, and the entire purpose of that story is to show how sick and twisted the mind of an individual who is attracted to children is. It wasn’t meant to be romanticized. Yet, here we are today, where people regularly romanticize it as if it’s a romance novel when it is indeed quite the opposite.

Not only that, but sites like ao3 literally exist for problematic ships to be posted without backlash, so why act surprised when people on a platform like this one express discomfort with things like pedophilia or incest within their fandoms???

And since you mentioned the actual actors behind the characters, it does feel incredibly harmful for a child actor or an adult actor to have their faces used for content that is literal pedophilia.

Anyways, thanks for the ask & if you wanna continue the conversation or talk about anything else feel free to pm or use the asks on @crxss-bxw. (That goes for anyone. If any of you ceganers show up in my inbox behind an anon on this blog I’m just gonna block u xoxoxo there’s literally nothing you could say to make me change my mind)

[awhst-alt]

I HAD THE BEST BYLER DREAM LAST NIGHT AND I REALLY WANNA SHARE IT WITH YOU ALL

it's so long (literally 2k words) so im gonna put it under the cut haha <3

so basically this would take place after mike and will start dating or something, idk exactly the time frame (i picture them being like 18 or something and this is the summer before college) and will goes to this summer arts program for like 2/3 months (i dunno how long american summer is but something like that) and its all the way far from home so there is dorms and stuff and he's "not in hawkins anymore" (no pun intended)

mike and will decide after will finishes his school they'd go to college together (cuz they're gonna be comic book artists together bc thats boyfriend shit) so throughout these months he's practically just waiting for will (<333333)

so one specific scene i remember from my dream involved will and mike getting off the bus to the school and then they hug and then mike grabs wills hand and brings him behind the bus and then he gives will a biggg kiss bc he won't be able to kiss him for 3 months. then they say they love each other and will gives him another quick kiss and is like "two kisses". they agree they'd call each other every day.

so will goes inside and mike goes back on the bus and goes home.

and basically the whole day is a whirl, until the end of it, in which mike is sitting in the kitchen near the phone waiting for like 3 hours for will to call, and will doesn't end up calling.

AND THEN IT GETS SPICYYYYY

so meanwhile at the arts program will asks like the front desk or something if he can call mike and they say phone is offlimits and they don't let him call mike

so then will goes to sleep and he's paranoid that he thinks mike is gonna hate him or something like that

mk than the next day in class there is this girl (they didn't reveal her name in the dream, ill call her stella) so stella is basically looking at will the entire class but will doesn't know it

so when they exit the class stella's like "hi" and will says "hi"

then stella says "i like your painting."

will is like rlly weirded out so he goes "thanks?"

"i um- hope this doesn't sound weird but i have no friends, do you want to be mine?"

"sure"

and then end of scene (this does not sound like a normal conversation but it's my dream so it doesn't have to make sense"

so BACK AT HAWKINS mike is still sleeping even tho it's like 3 pm because yk depressed boyfriend shit but then the PHONE RINGS and mike gets out of bed frantically and goes to the phone and he picks it up and is like "will?" and then it answers "it's el, idiot"

i feel like this is important for context but el speaks english very well now and hoppers back and she lives with hopper and not the byers anymore. ANYWAYS

el says "how's will?"

mike says "idk he didn't call"

"he didn't?"

"no, he didn't"

"okay. well maybe he will call later"

"yeah mb"

"wanna come over"

"ok"

so mike hangs up and gets changed and goes to el's house bc they r a couple o' besties and when he gets there it's like a therapy sessions bc mike usally talks to will every single day and he can't for like 3 months (unless will calls, but he's not going to) so he accepts he's gonna be depressed for 3 months and he's just talking to el about how he's gonna miss him so much and no be able to see his face and that shit

so el's like "well do u wanna do something to take ur mind off of him"

and mike's like "no im not gonna replace will" (I SCREAMED IN MY DREAM SRSLY)

but than el says "okay. guess im gonna go to the mall by myself" (ig starcourt is rebuilt by now)

and than mike bolts up and is like "fine"

"we can by something for will"

"okay yay"

so then they go to starcourt yasss!!

anyways back at the art school will is having lunch and stella is with he friends (even tho she said she doesn't have any friends) and one of her friends is like "omg did you see _____ he's so hot"

and another friend says "YESS! but ____ is cuter"

"what abt u stella? who do u have ur eyes on"

she says "byers" BUT NOOOOOOO WILL IS MIKES MAN

and they say "ew that kid who came back to life"

she says "yea. but he's cute, and shy, and once i wrap them around my finger i can get them to do anything"

so then she goes to sit down next to will at lunch

"hi will"

"hi"

"hru"

"im good"

"okay. good." and she gets upset because will goes ask how she is but she keeps her urging rage inside. and than they have this weird conversation and will is uncomfortable the whole time bc shes all like flirting with him and will is seeing someone obvi

but then she puts a hand on will's shoulder and he's shaking and then says something (idk what it is it wasn't explaining in my dream) then will stands up and runs to the bathroom. so he's just sitting in the stalls crying.

okay back at starcourt this part wasn't shown in my dream but im just gonna make up that mike and el go looking around starcourt for something for will (sort of like the mike/lucas/will montage where they were looking for stuff for el) and then i guess they find something for will and i don't have the slightest idea what they could have got for him BUT THEY GOT HIM SOMETHING GOOD

so mike's all happy but they'res still that depression inside of him lol

so fast forward a week, it really isn't explained but ill just make up that will still hasn't called mike, and he's super sad and all sleeping in but decides to look through his good ol binder full of will's drawings and in the arts school will and stella have a few more interactions im sure which are still very uncomfortable

okay so it's lunch again in the cafeteria and somehow will and stella are talking again but somehow it ends in stella kissing will and will like pulls away immediatley and is like "what is wrong with you!?"

and she says "what?"

"i'm seeing someone!"

"oh i uh- i didn't know."

the whole cafeteria is staring at them

so will's freaking out almost on the verge of a panic attack "idk what to do, he's gonna hate me and-"

"he?"

will has the look on his face like shit shit shit oh fuck no

"you're gay?"

"i-"

and will runs off once again. and everyone in the whole cafeteria knows that he's day and ofc with everybody being homophobic will knows it's not good at all bc everyone's gonna bully him

so then the next day he goes to class and the teacher is like "does anyone care to tell me where ___ is?" (it would be like a math question like 'where x is' but in art idkkk) and then the teacher calls on "will? can you tell me where ___ is?" and they'res a pause and then the teacher says "or perhaps you'd want to find your boyfriend instead?" (giving me anne with an e vibes prolly cuz i did a rewatch last weekend but i won't explain more in case some people haven't watched it but) anyways will stands up from his seat, everyone is looking at him, and he's shaking and so concerned but then he goes "fuck. you" badass will yeaaaa thats my boy

so then he runs out of the classroom and out of the school in a really cool montage way but then he realizes he's like 2 hours away from home but he runs and runs and he goes to a random bustop (it's not even garanteed if it takes him to hawkins but whatever) he gets on and tries to go back to hawkins.

and soon enough, he gets there, and immediatley goes to the wheelers because he needs to see mike and apologize for everything. so he's at the wheelers, and rings the doorbell, realizing he's still in his uniform lol but karen answers and mike is upstairs in his room sulking (i picture it would be 8 pm by now) so will asks for mike and karen calls mike. mike groans obviously because he doesn't know it's his boy, but he comes down, karen gets out of the way and as soon as he sees will they have a really big hug and it's super sweet and my heart UFHEIOSKA

mike says his usual "are you okay?" and mike is still confused as shit but will says "i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry" and mike says "you don't have to be sorry for anyrhing" but will says "ill explain"

so then they go to will's room, side-by-side on his bed and will starts explaining everything

(this is mostly improvised by me but it's still pretty similar to the dream)

"i hated it."

"the school?"

"yeah. there was no you, (mike blushes lmao), everything was terrible, i felt so lonely, they didn't let me call you-"

"what?"

"they said the phone was off limits. i wanted to talk to you so bad and i thought you'd hate me"

"i could never hate you, will, even if i tried." will smiles

"and then there was this girl, and she hit on me and i didn't know what to do bc i'd be the face of the school if i told her i was dating you and was gay and today she kissed me"

"WHAT"

"im sorry im sorry i didn't kiss back and i was so scared bc i never was in a relationship before and i was so scared it was considered cheating-"

and mike LAUGHSS

"what? mike? what's wrong?"

"if you don't do anything back, it's not considerd 'cheating'"

"oh. good. are you mad at me?"

"what? no! no never!" so mike opens his arms and says "come here" so will and mike hug or something like that and then mike says "do you need me to beat her up?"

and will says "you can't even beat eggs. besides, your noodle arms wouldn't be able to do harm to even a fly"

so mike laughs and says "i'm glad your home"

so will blurts "i cursed out a teacher"

"you? cursing?"

"yes."

"might have to start calling you a bad boy now"

will just smiles and says "i love you"

and mike says "i love you too"

AND THEN END AND IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF BC I LOVE THIS DREAM LIKE I CAN'T BELIEVE MY BRAIN THOUGHT OF THIS BUT IM OBSESSED

ALSO ONCE I FINISH WYBMFFAE ILL PROBABLY WRITE THIS INTO A FULL BLOWN FIC BUT AHIHFUSAH

edit: i have no idea what mike did with the present him and el bought for will but i guess they ended up giving it to him lol

[skin-slave]

Jfc kid, if you don't want to interact with me, stop. If you're trying to make friends by being a dick but also demanding attention, it's not a very adult way to go about making friends.

Oh we aren't enjoying your content. Don't worry about that. I'm literally only here to defend survivors' autonomy and flush ignorance where it belongs. Sorry you have bad taste in ppl, tho. She's amazingly talented, kind, and hilarious. ✌️ (Lub u bud)

Maladaptive daydreaming is difficult. I hope you're getting support for that. It's also not the same thing as writing fic, as it's an internal process, disrupts life, and is distressing.

Writing fic (speaking for myself) is significantly external. There's a lot of interaction that happens before and during writing. It's almost a team effort, as I'm able to reach out and say, "uhm, do you sometimes feel like this?" And they say, "omg I've been waiting to talk about that, I thought I was the only one!" After posting, I get feedback from my buds, leading into more interaction. It's not a thing that happens in my head. It's a thing I do, mentally, emotionally and physically, with my loved ones at my side.

It doesn't disrupt my life, and it's not distressing. Sure, I get absorbed sometimes, but it's not an obstacle. Fic has enriched my life. It acts as catharsis and brings me joy. It has helped me to become more assertive and expressive, to ditch so much undeserved shame, and to grow as a person. It's not a problem. It's an asset.

Here's the thing... You aren't in charge of coping mechanisms. You don't get to hand them out and take them away. It could not matter less what you think the "best" options are. They aren't yours to choose. And coping mechanisms are not healthy vs unhealthy. They're a spectrum. Is cutting objectively good? No. Is it better than suicide? Yes. Would a therapist steal a client's tools and forbid them from cutting? Sure, if they want to destroy whatever trust they have and ensure that the cutting continues in secret. Even if a coping mechanism is objectively destructive (writing isn't), even if there's a therapy relationship (there isn't), it's still counterproductive, cruel and insulting to take that away.

I get that that can be frustrating that we are all individuals with individual - sometimes conflicting - needs. I have a bud who works out for catharsis. Is it healthy in her case? I have no way of knowing, and it's none of my business. What I do know is that workouts for catharsis become self-harm for me. I can't do it safely. And I can't see the "no pain no gain" stuff. It's not healthy for me. Ngl, I have a knee-jerk that it will become self-harm for her. That's a narrow perspective, but humans have those sometimes. I'd love to tell her to stop doing it, just in case, but it's so incredibly not my place. The discomfort I feel is mine to handle. So we don't discuss it and I block gym tags so I don't accidentally see what I know I can't see. Works a lot better than trying to dominate her and take away her coping mechanism just bc I can't use it myself.

I hate the word "innocent" when it comes to kids. It implies that kids don't have any adult shit going on in their lives, and that's wrong. One of my nieces has been telling blood-and-guts horror stories since she could talk (much to her parents' dismay, bc they control the kids' media and didn't expect her to know about that stuff). My nephew is already having romantic feelings in grade school. Most ppl lose their virginity as teens. Kids aren't full of cartoons and clouds. They're complicated and smart and end up ass-deep in adult thoughts and feelings long before their parents want them to. That's normal. What you're trying to say is that they're uneducated. Which is true. But being uneducated isn't purity or goodness, and it's a thing that changes over time.

As a kid, believe me, I got into shit I wasn't ready to see, and stuff that ppl from different demographics might not have. Some of it by accident. Some of it bc I was seeking it out, bc kids get into shit they shouldn't on purpose, and it's important for their development. Some of it was just normal life stuff that I wasn't ready for. My schoolmates, who were statistically unlikely to all have been abused as well, also saw shit that didn't sit well. We talked about it with each other and worked it out. And when I was really distressed, I went to my mom, a teacher or a counselor.

Funny thing is, none of it was fic or art. Didn't have home internet until high school and didn't get into fic until college. We just did normal things like accidentally witnessing ppl we knew having sex, finding porn, looking at dark literature before we were ready, sneaking into adult movies, seeing dead bodies, fooling around with each other, helping out with animal husbandry/butchering, etc.

Not having fic looming over us like a boogeyman didn't keep us from needing to talk to someone about the stuff we experienced. Bc having experiences that are gross/weird/scary/upsetting is a thing that happens to kids. It always has and always will. Your options are to roll them in bubble wrap and keep them in a dark basement until they get married... or teach them how to do the best that they can, including how to get help.

(Not to be "that lady," but if my non-traumatized siblings could spend their 1st grade summer breaks holding entrails and listening to my parents bang and come out ok and raise my beautiful, well-adjusted nieces and nephews... And if I can make it to my ripe old age, having lived the same life with added, repeated trauma and illness... Where are you guys getting these new model kids who are just ruined forever from seeing a torture fic? I'm worried about your kids' fundamental resilience. I'm not being sarcastic. If parenting and community aren't instilling resilience, these kids are being set up for failure. That's cruel.)

That is a very good point, and I support anyone who tailors their fic to have simple, obvious moral delineation and easily digestible stories for kids. It's my opinion that kids who are old enough to navigate the internet with reasonable supervision should at least be in the process of graduating to work that requires critical thought, bc it's a skill that they will need a firm grasp on when they hit adulthood. But there's nothing wrong with a simplified story, esp if you're talking about little kids.

I don't write for kids. My audience is my friends, family, and any other adult who wants to read it. My fic is behind an age/consent check. It's properly tagged, bc it's not consent unless it's informed consent. I add summaries, to give the tone and add in context if I think it's needed. That's my responsibility, and I take it seriously.

By the time you get to my fic, you've been told multiple times what it is and you have given your consent, as an adult, to see it. That's where my part ends. Can someone lie and click on it without checking the tags? Sure they can. But that's not a thing I can be aware of, verify or prevent. I've done far more than any commercial artist is required to do, and I have done it to the very best of my ability. The responsible adult at that point is the reader or the reader's guardian.

Putting this one out of order bc I want to address it next. And again, no. It's my job to not perpetuate it. Not perpetuating it ≠ stopping it. It's not my responsibility to go from house to house, parenting everyone else's kids, interviewing adults and searching their computers and policing their activity. Even if, for some loony reason, I wanted to, I don't have the right. And even if I wanted to, and had the right, it wouldn't stop anything.

And no, it wouldn't have made me safe. The only thing that could've made me safe is if my abusers chose not to abuse me. Their choice had nothing to do with fiction, or the availability of porn, or mental illness, or the makers of the gifts I was groomed with (candy, toys, money, kid-friendly activities), or the other ppl in my life who didn't see what was happening. Every speck of responsibility for my trauma falls on my abusers. They wanted to harm me, and they chose to do it. That's it.

It wouldn't have made me feel safe. I never felt safe. I have very few memories before the effects of my first abuse became noticable, and no memories before that abuse started. I didn't have a "before" when things were safe. As I get older, I've come to realize that the ppl I grew up with also understood the world to be dangerous from a young age, just not in the visceral way I did. Bc we were all taught that the world is dangerous. Bc it is, and it's horrible to withhold the truth from a person who needs to know. Having the world stripped of fanfic would not have mattered bc I knew that there was "bad" stuff out there. What difference would it make what the "bad" stuff was?

More applicably, it wouldn't make me feel more secure regarding my nieces' internet usage. That attitude is bizarre to me. I don't want them to never see "bad" stuff until they turn 18. I want them to know what to do when they see "bad" stuff, who they can go to for help, what red flags are, the difference between fiction and reality, how to think critically, how to make their own choices, and how to understand the consequences. I do not want them to be dumped into adulthood, where they would suddenly see all the "bad" things, without giving them what they need to handle that.

Why is there such an obsession with creating a sterile world where kids don't grow up??? Growing up is a good thing! It's the point of being a kid! And it's not having X number of birthdays. It's learning and honing skills, collecting experiences, developing a sense of self/family/community. Raising a child is giving them those tools.

Why is that not the goal? Why is it "close the candy factories" and not "teach the kids to recognize grooming"? Only one of those has a snowball's chance of helping, and you know which one it is. Predators will find ways to prey on kids. We help them by teaching them what that looks like and what to do if it happens. (And by supporting ppl so that they don't become abusers, but that's another conversation)

I didn't say you were a fake fan. I said you were expressing a hypocritical view. And you are. (I also didn't say "exploitative." I said "explorative.") Slipknot's art is awesome. It's amazing, particularly from a trauma standpoint. It is what he needs it to be, and it speaks to the ppl who also need it. It's also problematic af.

"This guy can do all the stuff I just said is mega bad, but not you, bc I said so," is a hypocritical take. Either dark trauma art is ok, or it's not. Either it can be shared, or it can't. Either it's self-harm to partake in any trauma art, or it isn't. Either some random stranger has the right to take art away from survivors, or they don't.

It's not different bc he's a vocal survivor. We cannot require receipts of any kind to "verify" that artists have the right to art. Firstly, bc it's not a right that can be withheld. Secondly, bc it forces ppl to be out about their histories, medical information, personal lives, etc. That's unsafe and we never force survivors to put themselves in danger. Thirdly, bc it doesn't work. When survivors do bare their souls, they just get called anything from liars to predators. And that makes them fair game for even more abuse. So that argument is dead.

It's also not different bc his art has a wider audience. That audience comes from marketability and a desire to be marketed. That has nothing to do with the value of the art.

It's also not different bc commercial artists are doing something special to protect ppl who can't safely consume their media. Bc they don't. At all. It's just out there, randomly popping up whenever, irrespective of who's listening and whether or not they would consent to hearing it. Zero protection.

Darkfic writers who archive on AO3 go above and beyond the standard that commercial artists like Slipknot are held to. They do the same thing, for the same reasons (catharsis and expression, not fame and money). Their art helps the ppl who need it, just like every other piece of art on the planet. The idea that they should be treated like shit while Corey gets a Funko Pop is an amazing double standard that I hope you take a minute to examine.

people will say “how will i cope with my trauma without using ao3 to show me that i’m less alone???” and like i’m gonna be gut punchingly honest. you are not alone, and there are ways to understand that without seeking out people who glorify and romanticize your trauma. if you are a survivor, giving kudos to “proshipping” pedophiles is not going to heal you. it’s going to embolden and enable them to traumatize more people. coping is about harm reduction, not re-exposing yourself to harm and allowing others to be harmed.

there are ways to cope. you deserve to heal. i am taking your hands and looking into your eyes, survivor to survivor, telling you that there are constructive ways to help yourself. there are resources for you. there is a community for you. there are ways you can cope with this besides reading porn on a website that acts as a free for all for the types of people who once hurt you.

you can call the confidential RAINN hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673)

if you’re in the US, you can find support near you through the national sexual violence resource center.

you can look for a therapist near you or find a professional to speak to digitally

you can look into dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) resources in real life or online

you can seek out survivor forums and support groups

there are ways to cope with this. but retraumatizing yourself and potentially exposing others to traumatizing content is not one of them.