#tmrrw i rlly want to write smth more for them bcs i think she's not rlly doing well rn n we touched on that a bit earlier but
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#🌙.vents#okay i shld rlly be more mindful of like my warning signs bcs talking a bit w one of my irls rn with apollo in our gc n#TIME IS REALLY NOT ON MY SIDE RIGHT NOW BUT#tmrrw i rlly want to write smth more for them bcs i think she's not rlly doing well rn n we touched on that a bit earlier but#i want to say more. i really do#usually i still manage well on my own but i'm human too n i really realize how my mood gets. like. i feel sad n all when i#don't talk to ppl for a while.#NOT THAT IT'S ANYONE'S FAULT THOUGH OKAY 😭#wait my mind is rlly a mess rn bcs i'm both distressed n at peace right now n it's confusing but i'm#genuinely fine n i genuinely don't have resentment towards anyone even though it may seem like it.#i hate idolizing others or being too idealistic though sometimes i get caught up in it but i'm aware when i do n try to fix it?#so. from my perspective#though i try to be objective n. separate n be aware of what is subject to me#i'm aware of my own self so. i think i'm decently aware of my own friends too#like their faults n strengths but i love them as a whole n want the best for them. if that makes sense#i really don't know how to describe it right now n that incapability to word it well enough distresses me in this particular yeah but#in my head i really do know n that gives me peace at least n#I'M SORRY I'M REALLY JUST RAMBLING A LOT RN I'M DUMPING N I'M NOT THINKING TOO MUCH OF IT I CRIED A BIT N THEN#it's so hot here i don't know why i'm not turning on the fan n then sorry to my friend ily /p but my energy is low rn n#yk what i'll just do more tmrrw. but my responsibilities w school r fucking me up i think weekends shld be 3 days fr so i can rest#rlly comforts me though when i think of. the complexity of life n. how humans are like. like. more like on how#yk normal stuff abt being human like we all have struggles n i rlly love thinking of how each of us loves differently w different ppl n#how we think i want to learn of all my friends' beliefs n philosophies n ideals n i want to just understand sm okay hdfaljsdkf#i find each of them so interesting but yk personally i have struggles w actually initiating that connection bcs of anxiety n then#it's rather comforting isn't it knowing how others have their own struggles too right? but we still connect. n. yeah#but i shld sleep soon so i'll shut my thoughts off now n priv these posts later bcs i am Genuinely just rambling i'm not thinking too much#GOOD NIGHT <3 ILL FIX MY TUMBLR TMRRW 😭
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