#tldr: Jackbox Games thinks they can get away with feeding you horse manure and that you'll fork over your life savings just to lick it

[captainfightingflower]

THEY ACTUALLY FUCKING TOOK THEM OUTBACK AND SHOT THEM-WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?! I WAS BEING HYPERBOLIC WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK-THEY ACTUALLY FUCKING-WHAT?!?! I COMPLETLY MISSED TH-DO THE STAFF HAVE NO FUCKING BRAIN?!?!?!!?

THEY DON’T FUCKING CARE ABOUT EITHER THEIR CAUSAL PLAYER ORRRRRR THEIR FANBASE! TEE K.O. 2 FUCKING HATES EEEEVVVERY BODY EQUALLY!!!!! THE SAID FUCK THE ONES WHO FEEL ALIENATED BY FACES THAT THEY DON’T RECONGIZE AND FUCK THE FANS WHO ACTUALLY LIKE TEE K.O!!!

I have never seen a sequel spit in the legacy of their own game’s face SO FUCKING HARD BEFORE! They took the idea for Tee K.O. 2 for an idea i was hesitant, but open for, to Jackbox Games WORST FUCKING ABOMINATION TO DATE!!!

There’s no fucking care or passion in this: IT’S AN ACTUAL FUCKING BILLBOARD MADE TO MAKE YOU GIVE THEM ALL OF YOUR MONEY! This sequel doesn’t care about you enough to give you actual quality: they know that you’re going to eat up whatever horse shit they serve you and that they don’t need to try to make you buy it because THEY KNOW you worship the ground they walk on and will consume ANYTHING!

The question is no longer “Why are excited for it?” but “HOW are you excited for it?”.  HOW could you be excited for a sequel that clearly doesn’t respect it’s own franchise or you as a person and respects the money in your wallet a THOUSAND TIMES MORE???!?!?!?!

I’ve lost ALL respect i ever fucking had for this company, because why should i respect a company that doesn’t respect the people keeping it alive?!?!?

LISTEN TO ME: THEY DON’T FUCKING CARE. This isn’t a theory, this isn’t bad faith: it’s a fucking FACT! 

BECAUSE NO COMPANY THAT RESPECTS IT’S PLAYERS WOULD FUCKING DO SUCH A FUCKING DISGRACE!!! 

“The characters you fell in love with are fucking dead, fuck you, they didn’t make money so we shot them outback, empty your wallets on our billboard and make sure to shit on the Tourment Master’s grave while you leave!” That’s all i fucking hear: their fucking god awful attempts at capitalism!!

THIS SEQUEL WORST THAN WORTHLESS: IT’S A FUCKING AFRONT TO GOD ON ALL ANGLES!!!!!!

It doesn’t care to properly adapt their characters and respect their source material.

It doesn’t care to properly respect the original game’s legacy.

It doesn’t care to make anything look good except for the fucking wining and losing animations which are ruined by the god awful character design adaptions.

It doesn’t care about their casual player base feeling alienated with unfamiliar characters.

It doesn’t care about their super fans feeling insulted that their beloved characters got fucking killed off.

IT DOESN’T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING MORE THAN MAKING A QUICK BUCK!!!

ON IT’S FUCKING 10 YEAR CELEBRATION!!!!!!!!!!

How the fuck can you feel excited for a sequel that treats you this TERRIBLY?!?!? Don’t you have fucking self-respect?!?! You can like it, i don’t care if you manage to like this atrocity, but HOW?!?!?

How aren’t you seething with rage at this thing’s sheer existence?!?! If it was any other game franchise: this shit would’ve been torn to fucking smithereens AND YOU’RE FINE WITH THIS?!?! YOU WANT THIS ATROCITY TO COME OUT?!?!?! FOR WHAT??? FUCKING HOODIES?!?!?!?!?!

Y’know what, i’m done, i’m fucking done, fuck this sequel, i don’t care, it’s shit, it’s just shit. I don’t care if the gameplay would blow my tits clean off: i’m done giving this billboard it’s fucking chances. It’s shit, and it will always be shit. Comparing it to shit is frankly an insult to shit! The bar isn’t even lowering anymore: it hit bedrock and now it’s falling into the void indefinitely! Every bad game is going to look like a masterpiece to me now, because hey: it’s not fucking Tee K.O. 2!!!!

I’d be surprised if this pack even MANAGES to get even a 5/10 in reviews! Why don’t we all stop hating on Word Spud and start directing that anger at the infinitely more deserving Tee K.O. 2? Because it’s a fucking sham that deserves every last bit of fucking hate it’ll ever get! If nobody else is going to hate it: i’ll hate it on the par of EVERYBODY!!! Like i’m genuinely thinking that they should FIRE the people who came up with this idea. I don’t want people’s livelihoods to get fucked, but you probably don’t want the company you’re working for’s livelihoods to get fucked either, so i say go for it! They’ve proven that they can tarnish a somewhat promising sequel in record time!

JACKBOX GAMES SHOULD NOT BE TOLD THAT WE’RE OKAY WITH BEING TREATED LIKE THIS!! WE DESERVE SOME BASIC FUCKING RESPECT!!!!!

But if you genuinely really want to get The Jackbox Party Pack 10, don't buy it: PIRATE IT. The only way to get a company blinded by money is by hitting them in the wallet where it hurts! Make Pack 10 BOMB! Yeah, i'm fucking saying it: don't let them treat you like garbage! When they get too big to fail: nothing will sway them, knock them down a few pegs while you still can and reteach them their lost humility.

Maybe that'll screw it into their thick skulls that people don't want to give money when they're treated like kicked babies who don't know any better! Maybe it'll even knock some sense into them and they'll actually decide to take a break to make the next pack a pack people WANT to buy for the quality again so they get back their losses.

This didn't happen overnight: this has been building up for several packs now! It WAS going to boil over into a fucking commercialist nightmare! Why do you think they where pushing M. Bubbles so hard on unnecessary merchandizing and cameos or calling Sexy Owl "Drawful owl" and phasing out their bra?

I’m off my soapbox now, sorry OP for screaming in your reblogs this loudly. None of this is directed towards you: you’re probably a lovely person! Don’t feel like you’re being personally attacked, this is exclusively targeting Tee K.O. 2 and how shit it is. I hope you have a lovely day OP, platonic hugs and kisses!

THE DARK JACKBOX LORE OF THE DAY

As shown in RubberRoss's preview video of TeeK.O. 2, the TeeK.O. 1 cast is fucking dead. Their ghosts appear in the Round 1 and 2 transitional screens.

That is all, have a good day.