#tldr i'm not abandoning after sunset but i'm taking an indefinite break

[aerixlee]

announcement on after sunset!!

so this is... late? like, really really really overdue. and i’ve been honestly dreading posting this, but it’s taken a toll on my mental health on top of everything else, so i’m just going to bite the bullet and do it.

(also i forgot my tumblr password, so i do technically have an excuse for not posting this sooner. but that’s not the point. i’m getting off track already)

to preface: i am NOT abandoning after sunset!!!! i still have a lot planned, and i don’t currently have intentions of leaving it forever unfinished, which is why i will not be marking it as complete.

however, i will be taking an indefinite break from it out of the interest of my own mental well being. though i love the story and i really do want to keep writing, it’s also become impossible to ignore the effects that it’s had on my mental well-being. the pressure to keep up with updating and making each chapter better than the last has... honestly taken some of the fun out of it, and it’s made me enjoy the atla fandom a little less as a whole. i tried to push through for a little, but i don’t think that it’s working. like, at all.

i probably didn’t need to write a whole mini essay on this, but i’m a dramatic person, and i really do feel like i owe you all an explanation. i saw we got to over 10k hits and it-- like holy shit dude that’s insane? it sucks, because that would’ve been just mind-blowingly incredible to me a while ago, but now it’s just making me feel like shit. i’m so incredibly grateful for all of your support, and i’m really sorry if i’m disappointing any of you or letting you down. which i’m sure i am. hopefully, when i do pick the fic back up again, it’ll be with better writing and the motivation that i had at the beginning!

yeah. this has honestly been a long time coming. i felt super pressured to keep going, and this whole thing has really made me realize that i... have no concept of stopping when i need to stop? and then by that point it’s too late and i’m drowning or something. so this is also me learning how to take a break and learn to prioritize myself for once? pretty sick if i do say so myself. doesn’t change the fact that i still feel shitty about this whole thing, but we’re getting there.

(this isn’t to say that i’m stopping writing as a whole btw; you can absolutely expect more from me, albeit different things - i’m still staying up until 2AM writing absolute garbage that i don’t even know why people read LMAO love u)

again, i’m really sorry for making you all wait like that - i was being dumb and avoiding writing this all out. if you read all of this? holy shit i love you? thank you so much for all of your love - i really don’t know what i did to deserve you all.