#tl;dr it's a silly name and also very in character for nero to name it that

[tgrailwar-zero]

“Aestus Estus” sounds Latin or Greek. Rider, do you know what it means?

"…For the sake of simplicity, the name is supposed to give off a sense of raging, passionate heat. I suppose in English you could get creative with translations depending on how generous you'd want to be with the use of 'Estus' at all. 'Flaming Passion'. 'Fire Surge'. 'Burning Heat'. 'Raging Flame'. Mix and match. So on, so forth. It's..."

"Powerful, no? I have to give it to my foolish self there. It's a fitting name for a grand blade."

"It's stupid. It's childish."

"You're stupid and childish."

[iamsarsa]

Selphie character breakdown

This is just a write up about Selphie’s personality After-Heavensward. I’m about to write a fic w/ her and I figured hey, I should write out where her mind is currently at before Stormblood. @annoy-the-void tagging u to read this cos u will prolly want to know this stuff. (for sanity’s sake I’m gonna refer to 129A as 129A to differentiate between her and the OG Aea in this)

So basically, end of Heavensward, Pre-Storm Blood, Selphie is pretty broken up. She’s trying to stay one step ahead of Garlemald in effort to conceal herself and 129A from recapture now that she knows that they’re probably ack on Garlemald’s radar AND now that Nero’s sulking around. She’s....not handling this very well.  When Haurchefant died, she obviously fell into an alcoholic state as evidenced in this fic. Selphie’s never totally relied on alcohol, and I wouldn’t even call her an alcoholic prior to his death. A drunk, sure. But she never relied on it, she didn’t need too really, it was just a fun thing for her, and she liked the taste. Even then, most of her actions weren’t a result of “being drunk” - being a clone it’s harder for her to get drunk to begin with. Most of her actions were a result of just anger and regret at Haurchefant’s death. 

She was able to pull through namely due to Aea’s steadfast companionship and the return of Thancred. But as noted in this fic she was still suffering from heavy nightmares and PTSD, although only really letting it out at night, when they were alone. And most of her initial reactions to him are back and forth, and while she ends up being open and honest with him about some things. She’d still prefer to run away then to actually talk about whats truly bothering her. The thing is, Selphie’s not very good at making her feelings clear. She is Queen of the confusing signals because most of the time her emotions are running high and it’s hard for even herself to distinguish them.So she may have an outburst where she reveals something that’s bothering her... but will just as quickly bottle up and pretend everything’s okay when it’s not.

Only one person was easily able to pick up and easily distinguish what Selphie was currently feeling and act accordingly - Aea. Aea was easily able to pick up on Selphie’s odd mood swings and moreover, was able to help Selphie sort them out. Aea, for whatever reason (perhaps simple programming) was able to pick up on Selphie’s actions before even sometimes Selphie knew what she was about to do, and act accordingly. (Such as when Selphie wanted to be an Astrologian and Aea immediately was like “No. That is a bad bad idea.) Simply put, Aea was the one outlet Selphie had to sort her feelings simply because most of the time, Aea knew what she was feeling before Selphie could form the words herself.

With Aea gone, and in her place 129A, Selphie feels at a complete loss and is unable to reconcile her feelings in any sensible manner. While she attempts to keep up her demeanor as haha give no fucks i am thief of Ul’dah!!!11 in reality she is questioning EVERY decision she makes and lives in pretty much constant fear now that they will be taken back to Garlemald and that everyone she cares about will end up dead. When she makes these fears even slightly known, she does so in such a basic manner and such a “i mean i care but like... it’s whatever. I’ve got a plan it’ll work.” her plan amounts to basically running away even though she knows it’s a dumb plan. She’s not quite sure how to act towards 129A although she does care for her, although why she does is still a mystery to her and causes her more anxiety that she simply keeps 129A around for company and because she looks like Aea. 

On top of all of that, she’s feeling not only her own mortality, but also just straight up feeling worthless. She always knew she was a clone, but she now has to reconcile that there are..........thousands that look just like her. To her now, the idea that people have given up, and would give up their lives for her is absurd. Now that she sees just how many S-Type clones Garlemald has, she isn’t quite sure who she really is anymore, and she hardly think she’s worth saving if there’s more to take her place. While this is silly as the S-Type clones in Garlemald are without personality and are programmed to kill, she doesn’t recognize that and now is coming to terms with the fact that originally - that was meant to be her, and she is the prototype. That and the fact she’s not quite sure if she’s supposed to call herself Garlean, Eorzean... or Allagan. And she’s not quite sure if she wants to really dig into who she may have been based off from Allag’s past.  

Speaking of, she’s also trying insanely irritated that people keep DIGGING UP ALLAGAN TECH. 

So, essentially, right now, Pre-Stormblood, Selphie is ready to ding dong ditch her way...somewhere else. She doesn’t want to put people into danger, and she can’t handle someone else dying for her. Moreover, she’s deathly afraid of having to go back to Garlemald and face her past. The fic I’m about to write expands on this, and causes her to rethink some things. I’ll probably update this more as well as Stormblood draws nearer. 

tl;dr Selphie is suffering heavily from PTSD and survivors guilt, and is unable to even really recognize these feelings in herself, let alone try and get past them.