#time lapse video company

[dilfosaur]

well i haven't spilled my guts on tumblr since i was in college but it's the platform that's felt The Most Mine thru the years, so

let's talk!

i've had a huge chip on my shoulder that i wanted off before the year ends. very bad professional experience to follow

so firstly to get ahead of the speculating, i'm not naming names or anything. some of you will puzzle out who i'm talking about, but please don't bother anyone especially not on my behalf. i've worked hard to distance myself from them the past few months. shit happens, especially when you're a dumb bitch (that's me!)

but also this person was someone i considered a close friend and it makes me uneasy to possibly direct backlash at them. "then why post about it" bc i did intermittent work for them for over a year. this is just about that. so hear me out

basically it started off fine. i initially did some commission work for good pay, then was invited to become more involved with their team. unfortunately as i became more involved with their operation it became more disorganized over time. projects started then forgotten, constantly shifting schedules, lapsing communication between roles, confusing financials, and often inconsistent if not late payments. during mid 2023 i was doing colorist work, sometimes on a one day turnaround (all while also preparing drawfee's summer merch launch). the payroll wasn't set up correctly so i wasn't paid for that work for over a year (more on that later), tho to be fair that was largely my own fault at first as i just didnt realize the payments didn't go thru lol

i always consider myself decently capable of separating friendship and coworker-ship; i run a company with 4 wonderful friends, going strong for almost 5 years. that didn't really work out in this case. by early this year our friendship was on the rocks; work issues fed into personal issues and vice versa. so as the rest of this shit plays out, we had just had our first "big fight" which i felt very bad about and added to all the upcoming tension

a huge point of friction was the fact that i really wanted to work with them to make a music video for one of their songs. i've always wanted a chance to make a music video, was confident in a concept i came up with, and even did some concept art for the idea. everyone insisted they loved the concept and that we should do it, but we kept pushing it back for various reasons. it ended up becoming a huge sticking point for my frustrations, which i tried to express productively. TLDR, we eventually got around to discussing it seriously around april.

i planned to ask for $4000 with negotiable add-on for the whole project, which was my Friend Discount price. i was offered a contract for $1000 flat rate, as they insisted that was the only budget they had for it.

don't ask me why i signed it lol. i didn't even counter offer

there was some girlmath to it: i wanted an extra 1k for a student scholarship i provide every spring and well, there it was. but if i had to guess, i saw it as something i just couldn't back down from any more. i caused these folks- my friends- a lot of problems bc i dug my heels in so deep to chase this project, so fuck it we ball

i had about 4 months to solo a 3 minute music video. they wanted it done in august so they could release it before summer ended, bc "it was a summer song". to be fair i was asked if i needed them to pay for anything extra like assistants (which i would have to find and manage) but i was so immediately overwhelmed that i didn't wanna slow down to wait on that process lol. there was very minimal communication other than brief progress check-ins every few weeks. i did everything for that project myself: the original concept, character designs, storyboards, layouts, backgrounds. i even did the editing/compositing for the final cut of the MV. the only favor i did myself was limiting the amount of it that was actually animated to simple loops and motions. hardly my best work but it was work still done

i did it all in between my full time job. i ended up having to take nearly a month away from most of my drawfee duties (with the support of the others) to make the august deadline. i only ever asked for a 3 day extension (notice given about a week in advance, around the same time i was given the final song file lol). i finished the music video at 6am on the final deadline and recorded drawfee the next day on 2 hours of sleep

but it was done, coolies. the team was very happy with the final product. honestly, without getting into it, those were a very emotionally taxing 4 months. on the professional side, i regretted agreeing to the project and especially for the dogshit rate they offered. i felt like a hypocrite- as someone who always wanted to advocate for younger artists demanding their worth in a world that's getting increasingly hostile toward creatives, i failed myself

so when i met with the manager to discuss the release plan, i told them to do whatever worked best for them as i only had one request: i wanted my credit removed from the project

tbh... like... lmao this dramatic bitch right!! but really, i decided that bad practices only breed worse business. friends or not, it was unprofessional of me to accept such a low paying job so i just didn't want my name used in association. everything felt so muddled to me and i was just really tired at this point

the manager was very understanding and then offered that i could be paid more. they said that their team "was surprised" i accepted their low rate and they would be happy to up the amount. this confused me as the initial budget seemed pretty set and at no point between april and august was i offered a better rate. i knew these guys weren't made of money. so, i declined. i didn't want to put anyone out of their means over work that was already done and agreed upon. but more importantly, i was over the whole thing and didn't want to prolong the project with a contract renegotiation. i just insisted my name be removed

they decided to use a pseudonym (which i was fine with) so they could create a story about a character who made the MV (this sounds really convoluted but i don't know how better to put it without getting specific, sorry). that way if people asked about the credit, they could speak comfortably about it without signaling that something went wrong behind the scenes. ok, kind of a silly narrative imo but whatevs. and maybe this is where i finally went truly wrong but. yolo i guess

i gave the name "D. Smithee", D as in dilfosaur and Smithee as in Alan Smithee. look it up for fun film trivia ig! was it passive aggressive of me to reference that in this context? yeah, honestly. but i thought it was kinda funny and really not that deep. if it was a problem, i have other real, non-cheeky pseudonyms i regularly use. the manager accepted it and all i had to do was wait for them to post the video and i could leave the whole experience behind me

a week later i received a message from the manager that my pseudonym had been denied by the rest of the team bc one of them got the reference. fair enough lol. however, they decided that rather than ask for a different name, the were going to make one up for me that they liked and would "fit the [story]", without asking me

and that! is when i finally snapped!

i was so tired of giving them concessions at this point and having a credit made up for me without any input from me felt genuinely violating and unethical. i started to Panic bc of how stressed i was, and asked for my overdue payments (aka the $500 still owed on the MV, and the colorist rate from a year prior that was never paid even tho i reported it in january) to be scheduled ASAP as i was leaving the work discord immediately

i finally told them off for exploiting me throughout the months while i kept trying to just be nice and finish my contact cleanly. in return i was told that it was unfair to say that as i agreed to everything- i accepted their cheap rate and denied further payment so that was all settled, and it was ok to change my credit without my consent bc i "said they could do whatever with the release". i called bullshit, ended the convo as kindly as i could, and cried lol. they agreed to ditch the pseudonym and just give no credit. that night was the last i heard from anyone on that team

and the real kicker?

august came and went. then september, october... and they never released the music video

and i don't know why, because i was never contacted about it. i've been removed from the picture entirely i guess. 4 months and boatloads of stress. just. up in smoke. i don't know what i expected honestly

it's hard to not take everything that happened personally and as done in bad faith. i really do, honestly. i've had plenty of shitty deals in my almost 10 year art career, but it hits different from people you saw as friends. but to the point of "why not keep it private", i have never felt so disrespected as a professional as i did this past year. i can toy with money and credits and other formalities all i want, but my work- my ideas, my labor, my effort- is still so important to me. i felt like the biggest idiot for doing so much work, pouring so much of myself into a piece for someone's use, for what has amounted to nothing

but more importantly i hated myself for undervaluing my work, even if initially i thought this person was a trusted friend. money is not really an issue for me- drawfee is my main job and i am fine and comfortable. it's so important to pay artists appropriately but i often undersell my own work bc i value the collaboration and passion between creatives more than the reward. i think a lot of artists tend to feel the same, and it often makes us easy to take advantage of. it's so difficult to find the balance between passion and making a fair living, and i think there's some shame within ourselves when artists choose to prioritize that passion

i wanted to finally get all this off my chest bc i was ashamed of every choice i made. things like this happen all the time i'm sure and hiding these mistakes only make it easier for it to happen to other people

tldr always value your work and protect your passion from people who just see it as a product. and don't give cheeky pseudonyms i guess lol

(and again pls don't bother anyone involved about this. a lot of chaos has left my life as i moved past all this, and this is me closing a door without opening new ones hopefully lol)

this shit was truly

so ass.

but i'm moving past it now

but on a nicer note. outside of all of this nonsense, i made lots of good memories this year. i'm truly so grateful to the many wonderful people in my life who keep me going even when i fuck up big time!

and thank you to all of you strangers who, despite everything, give me the time of day. especially if you read this whole thing. you're a real one :')

happy new year!

[studio52sblog]

Master optimal timelapse photography for construction sites: camera choice, intervals, lighting, safety, and more. Elevate project documentation and storytelling

[studio52group]

Timelapse camera 2024 guide by Studio52

Discover the latest trends and techniques in timelapse photography with Studio52's comprehensive guide for 2024. From choosing the right camera equipment to mastering timelapse video, unlock the secrets to creating stunning timelapse videos that capture the essence of time.

[hellfire--cult]

Long Distance Bf!Eddie Munson x fem!Reader

wc: 17.7k

+18 reader is a gamer, talk about games, long distance, pining, sex toys, mentions of phone sex and video sex, established relationship, slight angst, reader being insecure, kissing, oral (f and m), rough, spit, dirty talking, p in v (unprotected), eddie being a sweetheart as well as a perv in a good way

Summary: You didn't plan it, but through a game lobby you met the person who would become your long distance boyfriend. The time came for him to visit you for the first time after five months of dating... and you are not going to hold back.

a/n: thank you to @ghost-proofbaby for proofreading and fixing so much shit, as well as @andvys cause these bitches betaread almost every filth i write. this was supposed to be a v-day fic, so happy belated valentine's day.

Please reblog, be kind.

NO MORE BUFFERING

“Eddie, what kind of internet do they have in Hawkins? You’re lagging like shit… again.”

“Don’t disrespect it–” Silence, a robotic voice coming in making you roll your eyes. “–It’s a small town–” and again. “–You know.”

“No, cause I didn’t hear half the shit you said.” He froze on the screen for a second before the call dropped. A second later, your phone started ringing, making you scoff with a smile, answering the video call. 

“I am so tired of this shit, sweetheart.” You saw his mop of curls coming into view as he placed the phone standing straight on his desk. You saw he was shirtless as he put cream on his hair, one of your requests after seeing the dryness and open ends on them.

“I told you to call the company many times!” 

“It’s not the company, Hawkins is shit.” You giggled at his outburst, feeling your cheeks flush the more you looked at the expanse of his chest. The arms covered in tattoos, and you could see the happy trail going down into his sweatpants, which were too low, and his bush started sticking out a bit. “You done checking me out?”

“You’re hot.” You heard him chuckle on the other side of the screen. Your lovely boyfriend just posed for the camera, pretending to be in a vogue magazine or something. You giggled as you felt your cheeks heat up. No matter how many months had passed, he would still make you feel giddy and nervous. Who would have thought that the stranger standing on the other side of the screen would become your long distance boyfriend?

You didn’t plan it, really. It just happened.

Since you were little you liked playing video games. You adored it. Unlike some of the girls and boys in your school who did sports and stuff, you preferred to stay home with your Playstation 1, then the second one, then the Wii, then your first computer to play on. You made friends along the years, but then those friends lost interest in video games.

Nowadays, you have a full on gamer setup built in a room of your apartment. You also had studied Video Game 3D blending and you have a very well-paying job at a game producer company. You were basically living the life you always wanted to have. Your friends didn’t mind that you were a hermit or a little introvert with yourself. They learned to love you that way, often just laying on the bed as you play games, just being there for company, and you greatly appreciated that.

The problem was, none of your friends played online, and you were sick and tired of going into teams with random people in Call of Duty, and you were also disgusted and fed up with the men that just insulted you in game just because you were a woman, even if your score was better than what they did. They just kept insulting you, reporting you, and you encountered maybe just one woman every night in the lapse of ten matches. 

So, you opened your Discord app, where you can join community servers of fandoms, and you joined the Call of Duty official server. You wanted to build a team, or to join one where they would not judge you. Maybe you could find an all-girl team in there. Your mouse moved around, looking through the topic channels to find what you were looking for. Finally, there it was.

‘Team finder.’

You decided to give it a try and joined that channel, seeing the people messaging each other, some asking for teammates and revealing their status in the game. You were pretty high in rank, so you were trying to look for a team that had the same one or close. Suddenly, a user that went by ‘i wear weird al shirts’ sent a message.

‘Looking for just one more teammate. We are looking for either a diamond or crimson rank!’

Your heart beat a little bit rapidly as you replied to them, telling them you were crimson rank. You received a message request later, privately, and you saw it was that same username, introducing themselves as Dustin. You checked their profile card, seeing they went by he/him. You were very respectful with the online community’s pronouns, so you always made sure to get them right.

He told you that they have a server for the teammates only, but that they would like to test how they feel with your gaming ability first. You licked your lips a bit and hovered over your keyboard, wondering if you should tell him you are in fact a woman. But you don’t know the rest of the team, so there might be another girl in there. 

You gave Dustin your username, immediately receiving an invite in game. You joined the crew. You entered a very silent lobby, the other five people inside but not talking. You assumed that they were talking to each other in that private discord. You now hovered on your hot key to push to talk in game, but you didn’t quite want them to know you were a woman yet. Finally, one talked.

“Hello! I’m Gareth!”

“You are just going to give out your name like that? Christ.” Three guys for now. So you got Dustin, Gareth, an annoyed person and you are left to know two more. 

“Stop having a stick up your ass, Mike. I’m Jeff.” Another guy.

“I’m Eddie, the most handsome guy in here.” You saw the speaker icon at the top of their characters light up each time they talked.

“Shut up, Eddie. Let’s just play and see if this guy is any good.” This Mike dude was very irritable. Your eyebrow twitched when he called you ‘guy’. They thought you were a man.

“Hang on, maybe it’s a lady!” The character of the guy named Gareth lit up.

“As if.” Mike talked once more and your anger was slowly rising - you were committed to make this guy eat his fucking words. When you get angry in game, you get ten times better, and this stupid little man is gonna wish he got on your good side by the end of it.

“You ain’t going to present yourself, sugar?” The Eddie guy talked and you decided to type by now.

‘If by the end of the game you guys want me in your party, I will.’

“Fair enough.” He responded and you sighed in relief. They went silent, and you could only guess they were talking on the discord again to each other. They started the game.

You got first kill.

First headshot.

The guys were cheering you on. Even the Mike guy was going insane over you.

You ended up as Player of the game. You smiled in triumph as you laid back on your chair. The guys cheered for you in the lobby, and you received a message from Dustin, the invite to a server called, ‘Hellfire Club’. What an odd name. They played nice, and they were fun with their commentary, the problem was if they would accept you when they learned you are a woman. One way to find out.

You clicked on the link, accepting the invite. You saw them all connected to the voice chat, and you felt your belly turning with nerves. You licked your lips as you took a deep breath in, seeing the messages in the chat to join them. You pressed on the voice chat, their voices blasting in your ears, cheering for you.

“Look who it is! Our champion! Our savior!” Dustin yelled and you smiled, containing a laugh. 

“May we ask for the name of our brilliant knight?” You saw Eddie’s icon light up at his voice. This was it.

“Lady.”

Silence. Radio fucking silence. This was the part where you get kicked out, wasn’t it? Or where they start bashing on you, or bully you, or assume you are cheating in the game. 

“Holy fucking shit!” The guy Jeff exclaimed as they started laughing, Dustin’s icon lighting up then.

“Mike, you better fucking apologize cause she carried your sorry ass just now!” You rolled your eyes, not even thinking the guy would properly apologize but–

“I am so sorry, I am forever in your debt.” Your eyes widened and then you saw on your other monitor how, thanks to this match, Mike had ascended rank in game. 

“Uh, no problem.” You didn’t want to make your voice cheery, or high pitched with emotion, just in case you would annoy these guys. Eddie talked again through chuckles.

“We have a goddess in our land, boys, we gotta behave.” You sat there, expectantly as you waited for everyone to settle down. Then Eddie, who you saw was the one who created the server to begin with, talked to you again. “Does the goddess have a name?”

You gave your name softly, and each guy greeted you properly. You were stunned at this change of scenery. These guys were chill with you, but you really do wonder–

“Aren’t you guys freaked out that a girl is playing with you?”

“Are you kidding? One of our members was a girl too, she kicked ass, the sister of a friend. She started school so she is not able to play with us as much as before!” Dustin explained and your mouth fell open at that. They didn’t care if you’re a girl. They just cared that you played nice. 

“Ahem, sweetheart.” Your body straightened up at the pet name, not disliking it at all for some reason. “You wanna join Hellfire?”

Every Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, you all played together for hours. Mostly were wins thanks to you and Eddie, then there were some losses, but not a single game was toxic. They raged sure, but you weren’t far behind.

“COCK SUCKING SLUT, YOU FUCKING CHEATING PIECE OF SHIT!” You yelled loudly, ready to throw your controller across the room because you knew you found someone using a bot to aim perfectly at the head. 

The boys’ laughter resonated in your ear, and Gareth was always the one to try to calm you down. You were so happy to have found a group that liked you, that had fun with you, and honestly was super interactive. The boys shared their foods, purchases, even clothes they bought in the general chat of the server. They showed their pets as well, Eddie, you and Jeff being the only two who didn’t own any.

You confessed you’ve always wanted a rat, and while most of the guys disagreed, Eddie was on your side 100%. He found rats cute, and he knew that they are as intelligent as a seven month old puppy.

One night in particular, after a month of talking with them, they decided to have a drinking night with you. Even if they were close to each other in distance, they stayed in their homes so that you could join and not feel left out. You were so thankful for them, but that meant you would be on camera for the first time. You wondered what they imagined you looked like, and you wondered how they looked like as well. They never shared pictures in the chat, and you never shared yours. You assumed they just wanted to keep their privacy. They knew each other in real life, unlike you.

So you got yourself out of your hermit clothes, put on makeup, even did your hair a bit. You put on an oversized sweater and prepared your beer in front of your PC. You took a deep breath in as you fixed the camera at the top of your monitor and you looked at yourself in the preview before joining the voice chat. You could see everyone pinging you, hurrying you, and you finally clicked the button.

The boys cheered as you came on the screen. You saw how they clapped and whooped. Only one person was not saying anything and– Oh fuck… 

You didn’t expect Eddie to look like that. You didn’t expect Eddie to look like your type. Oh, fuck. And he wasn’t talking. He wasn’t saying anything, why?

“Hey, Munson, you alright there?” Jeff asked with a snicker on his lips, which made Eddie finally snap out, his curls falling on his face. You didn’t know if it was because of the lighting or what, but his face turned slightly red. 

“Yep, totally fine. I’m just bummed I have to give up my throne.” Your eyebrows met in the middle a bit, staring into his camera only.

“Your throne?”

“Prettiest from the group, duh.” At his words, Gareth whistled, Mike and Dustin laughing with a cringe, but you felt yourself flush all over. It’d been a while since you got complimented like that, but that was because you truly never went out. You can’t even remember when was the last time you had sex. Your dildo doesn’t count.

“I beg to differ.” You commented and that seemed to catch Eddie off guard, because he choked a bit with his saliva. Jeff laughed, wiggling his eyebrows at the camera.

“You guys want us to leave?” And was it evil for you to wish that? A bit. You chuckled and shook your head as you raised your can towards the camera.

“I thought this was a drinking night?”

After that camera call, it seemed the boys were keen to keep putting the cameras when in the voice chat. You did as well, taking them grocery shopping and to the pet store to look at rats, the only one aww’ing at them being Eddie. But there was one particular call where Jeff, Gareth and Eddie were together while Mike and Dustin were not online.

“Welcome to your first Corroded Coffin concert, sweetheart!” You were in awe as you saw them play, but Eddie– Eddie caught your eye. He had been catching your eye for a while, and after exchanging instagrams with everyone, that attraction only grew. 

But what were you thinking? He lived in Indiana, you lived in Virginia. This was just attraction over a guy you’ll probably meet in a year if this online thing doesn’t fall apart. It’ll go away. It had to.

Yet there was one night, where Mike, Dustin, Eddie and you were playing together, Dustin and Mike telling you that they were heading to bed. You pouted a bit on camera, not really wanting to go to sleep, but you knew the gaming night was over. You said goodbye to Mike and Dustin, about to say goodnight to Eddie as well, but–

“I’m not tired, you wanna stay on call with me, sweetheart?”

One call turned to two, to three, to four, to times when you both pretended to be offline so you could call each other privately. You watched movies, talked about TV shows, about one another’s lives, likes and dislikes, and soon, your attraction turned into a crush. Your heart raced whenever you called him, whenever you woke up with good morning messages from him, and then you called each other every single day. 

You shouldn’t have done this. You were now with a crush on a man who lived miles away from you. And maybe he didn’t even feel the same for you, just that he found a new friendship in you and maybe he just wanted a feminine touch in his life.

“This movie fucking sucked ass, Eddie.” You laughed as you rubbed your eyes, the credits of the movie you two watched together rolling up. You looked at his face as he laughed into his hands in shame.

“This is what I get for following Steve’s suggestion, for fucks sake.” ‘Drag me to hell’, supposedly a great scary movie. Sure, if you think a possessed talking goat is scary.

“Tell Steve that if I ever meet him, I’m tying him to a chair so he forcefully watches the ridiculous 6. That will cause him an aneurysm.” You heard him scoff, putting a hand to his chest in feigned offense.

“Take that back right now!” You could only giggle, shaking your head.

“No, I’m standing by what I said.” 

“Take it back–”

“Make me.” Suddenly he went silent and your smile fell. Did you fuck it up? Did you go overboard with that?

“Do you want me to?” His voice was not playful, no… it was flirty… Oh, he was flirting with you. Eddie was flirting with you. 

“Mmm, I don’t know. Depends on how you do it.” This time you heard him groan, your heart beating out of your chest as he leaned forward, his eyes fixed on the camera and the screen, probably looking at you.

“Okay, I think it’s time we cut to the chase, shouldn’t we, sweetheart?” 

“What do you mean?”

“I enjoy being alone with you here, do you enjoy being alone with me?” You felt your body flushing all over, sweat appearing on your fingertips.

“I do… a lot.” And he nodded. You noticed how he nervously looked at the camera and then at the screen. He ran a hand through his hair before he spoke again.

“Darling… I know it’s fucking stupid, and– Kind of weird– but, fuck… I have never met a girl like you. In my entire fucking life. I mean– Who the fuck listens to the Sims 1 soundtrack on the daily?” Your eyes widened at that, gasping.

“I do! It’s very comforting!” He only chuckled, shaking his head.

“And something I never heard in my life… You’re weird.” His eyes were soft as he looked at you. You bit your bottom lip as you played with your fingers on your lap. 

“Is that a good thing?”

“I really like you, sweetheart.”

And the words took a while to process in your brain. This guy that never got to touch you, or see your entire body, likes you. He just does. He likes you because of who you are, not exactly how you look. The cameras on were just a plus to make the calls even more personal, which only made your crush grow bigger.

A smile spread on your lips as you saw him covering his face with his hair, acting shy, peeking through it as if he were hiding. He was cute. Such a dork. And so handsome… and gentle. Caring. He bought you a plushie you wanted from Kingdom Hearts that you saved in your wishlist. You were surprised when you received it, not knowing if you accidentally bought it, but the note inside made your heart melt on the spot.

‘Happy birthday, my goddess.’

“I really like you too, Eddie.”

So no, you didn’t plan it. You didn’t plan to date someone online for five months. You presented him to your friends and even if a little weirded out, they really didn’t expect something else coming from you. They were happy you found someone, even if not in the practical way. 

The boys already knew. They had confessed to you, embarrassing Eddie in the process, that he never stopped talking about you. He praised you whenever he could, reminding everyone you were a lady and beautiful and that you had to be respected. 

But in a relationship come needs. Eddie is handsome. He is… well, he is hot. You find him extremely attractive, inside and out. Your dildo could be named Eddie at this point from how many times you used it and called his name out loud, pretending your pink dildo was his cock. 

So, in one bold movement, after a month of properly dating, you decided to do your first bold move. You sent him a suggestive picture of your cleavage. 

‘Should I wear this top for Heather's party?’ 

It had taken him a moment to reply to you, making you wonder if he was busy or if he was just staring at your picture. You started second guessing yourself, wondering, again, if you had gone too far, only for your phone to ping.

‘Sweetheart, do you want me to die?’

‘Why? I’m just asking a simple question…🥺’

‘Can you send more pictures? Or a video works best, I need to do a thorough inspection to give a verdict.’

And the sexting part began. Then the pictures were no longer suggestive, just plain nude. He started that one after you sent a picture of yourself in your lacey underwear and bunny ears in front of your full-length mirror.

‘I’m so fucking hard right now, darling, you have no fucking idea.’ He sent this message with a blurred picture attached. You knew what it could be but– You were not prepared. You were not prepared for what you saw. Not only was it big. Not only it was curved. But Eddie had a tattoo along the shaft. He had Sindarin markings on the underside. 

It made you wet in an instant. 

Sexting turned into phone sex with video calls. He saw you, you saw him. He saw you fucking yourself in your dildo as you moaned his name, and you saw him fuck his hand to yours. It was daily, if not every two days. You had never done this before, but fuck if it wasn’t hot. Hot, yet not enough. 

Which brings you to five months into the relationship, and the present day.

“Hey, sweetheart.” He called out as you hummed, still looking at his body as if you were daydreaming. He laughed, leaning over to look into the phone camera. “Stop drooling over me, for just a second.”

“No way, not possible, live with it.” He shook his head at you, his smile faltering slightly with nerves and you tilted your head in wonder as you felt your stomach flip with nervousness. “What’s wrong–”

“Nothing is wrong. I promise! But uhm… well… With the new job, I managed to… kind of save up.”

“For what?”

“Visiting you.”

Your brain short-circuited. You had explained to Eddie that you couldn’t visit him for a while, not until your video game project was done with, and your work days were never set. You couldn’t take your PC with you, so you had to stay home. 

“What?”

“I– Tell me to fuck off if you’re not comfortable, I just– I really want to see you. There’s… a flight on… Valentine’s day.”

You felt yourself melt in your seat as you heard his words. He wanted to meet you for the first time and not on just any day. Valentine’s day. You knew Eddie had been struggling with finding a good paying job a few months back, finally landing a good one as a mechanic in his town.

“You… You got a new job and instead of saving up for the new guitar–”

“I saved up to finally meet you, yes– but if you tell me you’re not ready, I’ll go and just buy–”

“Yes… please…” And you two stared at one another for a few seconds, your heart beating wildly in your throat as he stood there.

“I– Yes?”

“Yes, I want you to come here, Eddie.” 

You saw him walk backwards cheering with his fists in the air, and you smiled as he jumped excitedly, his hair bouncing all around him. You saw his uncle Wayne opening the door to see what Eddie was doing, and you couldn’t help but snort as Eddie stopped and pointed at his phone.

“I’m meeting my girlfriend!”

“Okay? Uh–” Wayne looked at you and nodded in greeting, “Hi sweetheart.”

“Hi, Wayne.” His uncle didn’t live with Eddie, but he came to visit often and even stayed for a day or two at his home. At Eddie’s request. It seemed Eddie wanted independence, but he was too attached to Wayne. He had explained to you about his past, about his family, and it was completely understandable that he couldn’t let Wayne go that easily. 

“Keep it down, I’m excited for you two, but your neighbors will complain again.” And like that, he closed the door. The nerves invaded you once again and you saw Eddie rushing to grab the phone and taking you as he sat on the computer. You saw him typing away, and you knew he was looking to book that flight right away. 

You saw the concentration in his scrunched-up features, his tongue poking out from the corner of his mouth as he squinted at the screen, clicking away. Excitement built in your belly as you looked at him. As you looked at a guy that just lived far away, yet you’ve never felt more connected to in your entire life.

A guy you fell in love with, despite the recent connectivity issues.

“BOOKED!” He yelled excitedly and you giggled, covering your mouth as you thrashed around, finally realizing you would meet him. You would meet Eddie. You would meet your boyfriend for the very first time, and on Valentine’s day to top it off. That would be a month away, and you could tell your work to give you a breather the week he stays with you, to not bother you as much.

You were excited… but nervous as fuck.

What if he doesn’t like you? What if he sees you and is disgusted? Should you kiss him as a greeting? Were the flowers in your hand too stupid to give to him? He said he liked them, so you got him some because men also deserve flowers on Valentine's day. You were standing at the Arrivals gate, just where Eddie had told you he would get off on. 

You had prepared your home from top to bottom, cleaned it all up, and you even went to get a Bikini Wax with Heather. You exfoliated your skin, put on some lotion, and you were going a little bit crazy with it– But, was today the day? Not only were you going to meet him, but should it also be the time where you could confess to him?

You didn’t know if it was too soon or not, being the first time you ever fell in love for real in your life. You were pretty sure it was love. How could it not be? Eddie had not answered you for a whole day once, and you could not get in contact with him at all. His location was also off. Your first thought was very dark, afraid he had gotten into an accident with his motorcycle or something. You had called Gareth and you demanded him to go take you to Eddie.

You made him go to Eddie’s house while on a video call with you, and when he arrived and knocked on the door, Wayne had answered. Eddie had caught Mono. You were relieved yet the stress didn’t leave you at all. Wayne showed you Eddie’s state on video, and you saw him breathing at least, with a warm towel on his forehead and all. 

When he started messaging you back, you told him you were relieved but you had asked Wayne for his own phone number just in case. You remember Eddie being touched by how much you cared, and the fact that Wayne trusted you enough to give him his personal information just for the sake of knowing Eddie was okay.

You were clearly in love, and gone. You were holding flowers, balloons in the shape of bats and hearts. You looked silly, but you noticed some people looking at you with smiles on their faces, knowing you were most likely hopelessly in love waiting for your partner. They were absolutely right.

Suddenly, the doors opened and you held your breath in as people started walking out. You saw a family getting back together, then an old lady and a man who brought her flowers, kids greeting their mother. You were nervously waiting and– did you get the gate wrong? Maybe you did? Should you check your phone to make sure? That is nonsense, you checked like forty times, but maybe you looked at it wrongly–

And then, you saw him, dressed all in black, guitar strapped to his back, his hair pulled up in a bun, his left hand dragging the carry on. His other hand? It was holding a rat plushie with cotton flowers in its hands. You felt your eyes burning as you saw him looking around, your heart literally about to jump out of your chest and your stomach twisting with vines of nerves. This would be it. You did small little jumps with your feet, rising your heels and then putting them back down, over and over again and–

His eyes finally clashed into yours. His face lit up instantly, a smile spreading from ear to ear, his dimples showing off completely. He was so beautiful in real life and you just felt complete. You felt so giddy, something you never thought you would feel for someone else, at least not in the way you met that someone.

You bounced on your feet excitedly, smiling widely at him. His face, still smiling, made a confused frown as he looked around at what you got him. His feet started working, rushing your way as you waited by the limit. You were finally going to hold him. You were finally going to feel his warmth and spend time with him and–

You heard a huge thud of something falling and then big arms closed around you. Your arms wrapped around him, trying to not let go of his gifts but you felt like crying from how happy you felt. How whole you suddenly became. To be able to hug the person you have been talking to for months, that you have shown the most intimate parts of yourself.

His face was deep in the crook of your neck and shoulder, and you realized he had thrown the carry on to the ground as well as the plushie he got you. It was okay. You didn’t care. You felt his hands all over your back as if he was holding something so precious that he was afraid it would fall apart if he let go. And maybe, it would. Now you don’t know how you will be able to keep going with your daily life once he is gone. How you’ll keep going without his hugs, kisses and–

You flushed all over as your thoughts became impure, in just one single instant. Oh, he smelled good. He smelled so fucking good. You were in such bliss, you didn’t want to let go, but you knew you had to. You felt him pulling away for a second, his eyes meeting yours and you held your breath tightly as you waited for him to kiss you. He was going to, wasn’t he?

“Are these for me?” He suddenly asked and you were so stunned, looking down to your hands and you smiled widely, giving the flowers to him, as well as the balloons. He chuckled as the smile never left his lips. You saw a hint of a blush on his cheeks as he looked at them. “I never received flowers in my life– Valentine’s day gifts at that.” 

“Me neither.” He smiled at you, putting all the gifts in one hand so he could bend down and pick up the plushie that had those cotton flowers in the middle. You squealed loudly as you grabbed it, inspecting it. Suddenly you caught on a scent, making you lean forward and smell it, and– It’s him. It’s his cologne. 

“Sprayed it myself. I may have put a cloth inside and stitched him up again for longer effects.” Your heart was in your throat as you felt overwhelmed with emotions. You hugged the rat tightly to your chest as Eddie stared down at you with a smile on his face. 

“Thank you…” Your voice was small and muffled into the plushie. You looked up at him with bright eyes, hopeful he would lean in, and you needed to kiss him. You wanted to kiss him. But–

“Should we go? I am in terrible need of a cigarette, sweetheart.” You giggled, nodding as he bent down to grab his carry on again with his free hand, and you two walked side by side. The people all around you looked weirdly your way but still kind of adoringly. It was a metalhead guy with flowers and balloons in his hand, of course they would look. 

You two walked through the airport, smiling like idiots. You wished you could hold his hand but he was not able to right now. You were wondering why he didn’t kiss you, and maybe you should? Maybe you should kiss him when you reach your car and he puts the things in the trunk. 

He talked to you about how Wayne made him share his location at all times, the old man worried his nephew was travelling to another state by himself even if where he went, he was not going to be alone at all. You took your free hand to message Wayne, sending him a selfie with you and Eddie, signaling that he arrived safely because Eddie could not grab his phone right now. Wayne sent you a simple ‘take care now, use protection.’ 

That message made you flush all over, knowing that it was something that was going to happen no matter what. Absolutely. Wasn’t it? You wanted it to happen but– What if Eddie didn’t want to? What if he just came here to spend time with you but not to engage in something intimate? Were you looking too much into it? You literally had video sex with each other, so it not happening would be… weird… wouldn’t it?

But maybe… he doesn’t want to after seeing you? Maybe that’s why he didn’t kiss you?

Your self doubt was starting to slowly eat you alive as you reached the car where you parked. He put his carry on inside the trunk and the balloons as well because they would just not let you see on the rearview mirror, plus you might be stopped thanks to them. You bit your lip once you heard the trunk slam shut, Eddie turning your way with a smile on his face. 

“So, ready to take me to your castle, my lady?” You giggled as you nodded, ready to take a step forward in order to be able to tippy toe and signal him you wanted a kiss, but he immediately rushed to the passenger’s side after putting the guitar into the backseat, making you frown slightly. 

You went into the driver’s seat, putting the plushie to sit in the backseat so you could drive while Eddie held his flowers on his lap. He was surprised you had gotten him roses, and he couldn’t stop lavishing over them. As you drove, you put music for each other, and he was babbling away about how the guys wanted to have a call with the two of you together on camera.

“Oh, that’s kinky.” Was your comment and you noticed Eddie nervously chuckling and– Was he nervous? Shit, were you too forward? You didn’t take into account he was as nervous as you. Maybe that’s why he is not making any moves? Not even holding your thigh? 

Fuck, you wanted to jump on him and you had to calm down.

Once you got into your small complex, he was in awe when he entered your apartment. It was big for just one person, and he knew your apartment by now. You had given him a tour but it seems that showing him through video it may have looked a bit smaller than what he had expected. He put the carry on at the entrance as well as the balloons. 

“We should put these in water, I don’t want them to go bad.” He commented, still holding onto the flowers which warmed your heart. You guided him into the kitchen, grabbing a vase and filling it with water, letting him put the flowers in it. Your plushie was left on the dining table so now, your hands were free as well as his. It was already night time, and you just wanted to hold him right now, needing to feel him in your arms again and–

“Did you have dinner yet?” You asked, wanting to cringe at yourself. The air was a little tense, and your self doubt and nervousness was making you feel a little awkward. Maybe it’s not what he expected?

“I didn’t actually, and as far as I remember sweetheart, you told me there was a pizza place here that was fucking delicious.”

“Pete’s. And it will be the best pizza you ever had.” You smiled up at him, swaying a little as you put your hand on the counter. You saw him breathing a bit heavily, nervously, and he cleared his throat.

“I’ll be the judge of that.” He smiled and you realized he was not going to make a move at all. You don’t want to hover over him, or read the signs wrong. Fuck. You were becoming restless, even more when you sent a message to the pizza place so you could order and for them to deliver it to your house. 

Meanwhile, Eddie was walking around your apartment, gushing over all the consoles you had. He knew you had them but it was still amazing to him to see them there. He explained to you how he could only afford the Playstation 2 when he made money out of selling weed at his school. You could only smile through your nerves as you both waited for the pizza, sitting on the couch… rather apart. 

Why was he far away? Did he not want to hold you in the same way you wanted to hold him? It was Valentine’s day and he was sitting on the far end of the couch, and you have waited for months for this moment. Should you really take the initiative here? Were you giving wrong signals? No, you’re pretty sure you aren’t. You have batted your eyelashes, you have brushed your fingers against his when handing him the can of beer, your eyes went to his lips many times and he either was not seeing it or– he was playing dumb.

Dark clouds invaded your mind as you went to the bathroom, messaging Heather immediately.

‘He is not doing anything.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘He hasn’t even tried to kiss me yet, and the pizza is about to arrive, and all we did was talk, which is nice, but we’ve been doing that for five fucking months.’

‘Okay, maybe you should kiss him? Or just talk to him?’

‘What if he doesn’t…?’ You felt like your heart was about to burst as you thought of that possibility. What if you weren’t what Eddie expected in real life? What if it became way too real for him that he was now regretting ever coming to your house? What if he regretted breaking the illusion that he had of just looking at the screen?

‘I’m sure there’s an explanation… talk to him, don’t be a fucking idiot.’

You heard the doorbell ring and you flushed the toilet, pretending you went in there to just do your business. You walked out to see Eddie looking at the intercom with a frown in his face, seeing the pizza guy on the camera.

“How the fuck do I talk to him?” You laughed as you walked towards it, standing next to Eddie, pressing the button to talk.

“Hi Pete, come on up.” 

“Thank you, honey!” The old man said as you pushed the open front gate button. Eddie’s eyebrows raised in awe at it and then he frowned.

“Wait, Pete?”

“Yeah, the owner!” You smiled at him as you walked to your door, standing on your tippy toes to look through the peephole, your hips swaying excitedly as your mouth watered. You felt eyes on you, but maybe you were just making it up in your mind so that the horrible thoughts would go away from you. You saw Pete coming over and you immediately opened the door, a smile on your face.

“Hello lovely.” He greeted you and you grabbed the pizza from his hands, handing him the money and the large tip you always give him. “You know you always give me too much.”

“No, I don’t. Don’t know what you’re talking about.” The man rolled his eyes and then he saw Eddie standing behind you, waving at him. 

“Oh, what a lucky guy you are!” You felt your cheeks burn up as you giggled nervously.

“That I am, Pete!” You heard Eddie say and that just made you feel even more confused than before. The old man smiled, tipping his head down once and gave you both a nod.

“Well, I better leave you two alone. Happy Valentine's!” With that, Pete turned and left, letting you close the door and lock it. He could get out of the gate with a button he could press from the inside, so you didn’t have to bother with that one. The smell of pizza filled your nostrils and you moaned in delight as you walked towards the couch.

“This smells so fucking good.” You sat down, looking back to see Eddie just blinking, staring at nothing. “Eddie?”

“Oh–” He snapped out with a shake of his head, his curls bouncing around. “Yeah, yeah, it does.” 

He rushed to sit next to you, and you turned on the TV to at least put something as background noise. You decided to put ‘The Office’ which Eddie and you had binge watched together, having never seen it before. When you opened the box, you saw that Pete had followed your instructions, a smirk appearing in your face. Eddie’s eyes widened, a laugh escaping his lips.

“Oh my god.” He saw the pizza in the shape of a heart, and you giggled at how amazed he looked staring down at it. “How am I supposed to cut into this masterpiece? There’s absolutely no way.”

“Well, we do have to eat.” And that you both did. You dove in, the voices of the show in the background as he gushed over the pizza, and he had to agree with you that it was in fact the best he’s ever had. He told you that the pizzas back in Hawkins will now taste like cardboard compared to this masterpiece.

“Tell Pete he is a god. Like a literal god because, holy fuck.” You heard him groan in delight as he licked his fingers, wiping his hands with a napkin as he collapsed on the backrest of the couch, his eyes closed as if he were full. He only ate two slices, and Eddie was used to eating at least four. You once saw him eat a full sized pizza, claiming he hadn’t eaten anything since lunch. 

“I’ll tell him.” You didn’t want to sound tense or irritated, but you were so happy to have him here and now you didn’t know if you were being selfish for wanting something more to happen, or if you were sad because nothing was happening at all, or if you were anxious and fearful of the possibility that Eddie did not like you in person, as much as he liked you online. 

You grabbed the remaining pizza with the box, surprised still that there are slices left. You also didn’t eat much thanks to the nerves, something your stomach would yell at you later at night, but for now, you were afraid of puking it all out. You stood up and walked to the kitchen, opening the fridge to place the entire box in there, not wanting to deal with putting it away in tupperwares to save space.

What should you do now? Should you follow Heather’s advice and talk to him? But what if you make everything become a little more tense than what it already was now? You didn’t know what to do, and Eddie was not helping your case at all. You sighed as you washed your hands in the sink, letting the grease be washed away. You dried your hands with the kitchen cloth before walking out, seeing that Eddie was no longer on the couch. 

You frowned, completely confused, until you heard the water of the sink in the bathroom. You grabbed the remote and turned off the TV, walking towards your room, where your whole setup was as well. The bed was completely pressed into a corner, your LED lights in a perfect purple hue, fairy lights in the shape of stars were lit up across the wall, holding pictures of your friends, your family, the boys back in Hawkins and Eddie. There were a lot of Eddie. 

The door of the bathroom opened, and you turned to see Eddie walking towards your room, his eyes widening at the color of the room and then the yellow from the fairy lights, as if it were a purple sky with stars. He walked further in, looking at your entire PC, whistling out loud. You could only stare at his back, dressed in all black, completely contrasting with your room. 

“Damn, look at this… The pictures don’t do it justice.” Your setup was big. You had three monitors, and a very well updated PC. You needed your computer to be able to have a very fast response time because of your work. Video game 3D blending required a lot from your PC so you always kept it up to date. 

“It was an investment when I started my studies, but I gave my mom her money back in the first three months of my job, even if it was three years later.” You explained and he nodded, looking all around your room, for his eyes to then fall on your bed and then the pictures above it, attached to the fairy lights. 

You looked at his profile as he inspected them, and your heart was bursting with need, lava from a volcano just exploding right inside it. You couldn’t hold it in. The guy in your pictures was no longer far away from you. He was no longer miles and miles away, where you could not touch him. He was in your room. He was here with you. He was standing in front of you.

“Didn’t know you hung these up…”

And you exploded.

“Why?” 

His head turned to look at you, a frown appearing in his face as you stared at him. His face softened when he saw how you were looking at him. Your face was showing him distress, confusion, nervousness, and a bunch of questions that were at the tip of your tongue.

“Why what?” He asked, a nervous smile appearing on his lips and– Now you definitely know something was wrong. You could absolutely see it. You stepped forward and you saw how he stiffened in place. You didn’t know what was going on, but at least he didn’t move away from you because you were able to finally step close to him. Your head tipped back so you could properly look up at him.

“Why don’t you do something?” You saw his gulp, how his eyebrow twitched and his smile fell, and you could feel your entire inside crumble apart. Was he going to tell you now that you weren’t what he had expected? That it became way too real for him that he could barely handle it?

“Darling…”

“Am I not– You don’t like me? I– Am I not what you expected?” Your voice was small, and broken, your eyes burning with incoming tears, and his own widened, desperately reaching out for you to hold your biceps tightly, pulling himself closer to you.

“Don’t you ever think that. Not for a single damn second.” His voice was honest, rough with emotion, so now you were confused as he clenched his jaw. “You are way more than I– Than I fucking deserve to have. I have no idea how the fuck I even bagged someone like you.” 

“But– But I don’t understand… You haven’t even tried to kiss me, or hold my hand… You sat so far away from me–” He closed his eyes as he took a deep breath in. You blinked for a few seconds, and… did he lie to you? “Eddie… are you… a virgin?”

“WHAT?” His voice was loud, and it startled you, making you jump in your spot. His eyes pierced your skull almost in a glare, only to then soften as a sigh escaped his lips. “For fucks sake, I am not.” 

“Then I honestly don’t get it now.” You were angry. You started becoming irritable, annoyed, and you wanted answers. He took a deep breath in, leaning down to press his forehead against yours, closing his eyes. His cologne made you calm down instantly, your heart skipping a beat from having him so close to you again. The closest he’s been with you today was the hug you received when seeing each other for the first time.

“I… I won’t be able to hold back.”

You blinked completely confused a few times, looking into his eyes for answers.

“What? What do you mean by that?” He sighed as his hands moved, sending chills down your entire body. They grabbed your waist, giving it a squeeze as he found his voice again.

“I didn’t want you to think I was meeting you right now just to wet my dick… I don’t want you to think that I came to visit you just for that…” 

Now you… you were enraged. 

“Are you a fucking idiot, Edward?” His eyes widened as he pulled his head back to look at your face. It was all tensed up with anger, eyes staring into his with a glare.

“I– Uh… what?”

“You made me fucking doubt myself all day, thinking I wasn’t what you expected! Or that– Or that this was way too fucking real and you became scared and you regretted coming here–” Your eyes started burning once again and you hated yourself for always tearing up when you started an argument. You always felt that stupid lump in your throat, even when you were angry, you got emotional. His eyes were wide, his head shaking from side to side like crazy.

“No, no, no! I’m so sorry I made you feel like that but… it wasn’t. No… It’s– The complete opposite of that.” The room started losing that tensed up air that was filled with anger and misunderstandings, your eyes now softening as you looked at him. His face looked flushed, his eyes were now a bit dilated, looking down at you with a different gaze, one you saw many times on video call when you changed in front of him.

“Then?”

“If I kiss you… I won’t be able to hold back… That’s why I haven’t done it all day. I would have, probably, broken a million laws.” You bit your lip as you looked up at him, your body rising in temperature the more you stared up at him and he looked down at you with that hunger in his eyes you knew too well.

“Eddie… I waited for this for months… I want it too…” Your arms went up to wrap around his shoulders, nerves turning your stomach inside out but they were good nerves. They were amazing nerves. His breath hitched only to then quicken, his hands squeezing your waist once again. “And I don’t want you to hold back.”

That seemed to be his green light. What seemed to be the last string holding him to rationality, and it was literally snapped by you. His lips immediately clashed into yours, sparks flying all around you as electricity ran all over your body. Goosebumps formed on your skin and you sighed happily into the kiss. It was soft, deep, but still not moving. 

He groaned into it and slowly pulled away with a smack, his breath hitting your lips, his eyes still closed. You felt his hands moving, wrapping himself around you, pulling you even closer. He pressed your body against his and you wanted to already moan with how warm he felt. You felt his lips peck yours again, and then pull away.

“Oh, fuck…” Then another peck, your bodies moving. “Fuck, sweetheart–” You didn’t know why he was cursing, yet he gave another peck, a longer one. “I’m done for.” And then one more kiss, “I’m so fucking done for.”

You finally felt your bed hit the back of your knees as his lips started moving against yours in a desperate manner. Nobody had ever kissed you like this. You’ve never felt as desired as you’re feeling right now. His hand went downwards to grab the back of your right thigh and pull it up, pressing it against his hip. His left knee then hit the bed, his other hand grabbing your other leg, and helping you up on the bed as he crawled into the middle of it with you. 

Your lips never separated, not for a single moment. You were chained to him, not wanting to let go at any second, feeling like it’s a lost one if you did. Your back was pressed into the mattress, as your head clashed against your pillow. You could barely breathe as his hands left your legs after he slotted himself right in between them. 

Your choice of clothes was now a pain to you. You should have put on something easier to take off, but you had chosen fucking pants. It was cold out, but it would have made this moment easier. His elbows came to rest against the mattress, one on each side of your head. 

His hips still did not press against yours and you were becoming a little needy, desperate. So, you raised your hips upwards and rubbed yourself on him, making him wince against the kiss, pulling away to look down in between your bodies. You felt the bulge, the big bulge you’ve always looked at and desired to have in your hands, in your mouth and inside. He groaned as his eyes turned to yours again. 

No words were exchanged as your hips were suddenly slammed into the bed again, a moan escaping your lips. He thrusted himself into you, giving you the wish of rubbing his hips against you. You sighed as your hands rubbed the back of his head, making you feel a little dizzy already. His lips immediately clashed with yours again, and you felt his hands all over you, just exploring all over your waist, hips, arms as his hips rubbed and rubbed and rubbed.

You moaned into the kiss, your body shivering when you felt the tip of his tongue entering your mouth, not even asking for permission and it wasn’t like he needed it. He didn’t. He could do whatever he wanted to you tonight. You were going to do whatever you wanted too. You both knew your likes and dislikes, what is okay and what is not. There was no need for questions or permissions.

He groaned into the kiss as you felt him twitch in his pants and against you. You clenched around nothing at all, and you wondered if you could cum by just him rubbing himself against you, because it felt like it. Your belly was burning. You were hoping you would not be able to walk after tonight, or after this entire week. 

Your breathing turned heavy, your hands grabbing at his denim jacket, pulling onto it by the shoulders, and he got the message. He pulled away for a second, ripping the jacket away from himself, only to desperately drop himself back on you, kissing you hungrily once more. The clothes felt constricting now and the heat all over your body was making it feel worse. His tongue was just abusing yours in the most delicious of ways. 

Eddie knew how to kiss. 

Eddie kept his movements on you, up and down, circling and then some dry humping against you that was making you see stars behind your eyelids. He was driving you insane, and your thong, the red lace set you wore today, a set you bought a few days ago with this exact intention, was becoming a wet sticky mess because of this.

You wondered if you were soaking through your pants now, maybe getting the front of his wet and damp too. He was rubbing against your clit in meditated rolls, hearing where you moaned the loudest. He was paying attention to every single detail and reaction he got from you, now learning your body in person and not through a screen. It was like the practical part of an exam, the oral part having passed flawlessly.

Your hips moved with his as his right hand landed on your breast, making your back arch against him with need. You whined into the kiss, and he pulled away from you, a gasp being let out by you. You were so sensitive. The emotions were making your entire body react to the simplest of his touches. 

“You are so fucking perfect.” Your mouth dropped open when his lips connected to the pulse point of your neck. His hand was still kneading your breast over your hoodie, those you loved to wear. Oversized and comfy, but right now, it was something you wanted to rip off of you as if it were burning your fucking skin.

“Eddie… Baby, I need to take it off–” He nodded desperately against you, but before leaving your neck, he gave a soft nibble with his teeth, making you whimper. He kneeled as you sat up, and before you could grab the hem of your hoodie, his hands were almost ripping it off from your body. He pulled it off of you in an instant, leaving you in just your tank top. You saw him lick his lips, and you wanted more, you needed more. Your hands instantly went to the hem of his shirt and he helped you, gladly, to take it off.

Your mouth watered as you saw the chest you’ve only been seeing through a screen for months, finally being able to touch it, kiss it and– Your tongue darted out, licking his chest in an upwards motion, your eyes closed. He threw his head back, shoving the shirt to the abyss, he didn’t care. Your hands scanned his sides, fingertips gliding against the skin, feeling him tense up and his chest hitch when your lips gave a kiss to it. 

He growled, cradling your cheeks in his hands, making you look up at him in a quick and rough motion you didn’t dislike, but it made you stop your kisses and kitten licks against his chest, over his tattoos. His lips crashed against yours again, deep and desperate only to then be pushed back down on the bed. He was towering over you, chest moving up and down rapidly, his eyes looking down at the button of your jeans. You gulped as you moved your hips to signal him he could move.

So he did. His hands instantly rushed to rip the button open and pull the fly down. Your nerves started coming back as he crawled backwards and he started tugging at your jeans, pulling them down and off your body desperately. Off they went, including your socks and then you felt your legs wanting to close but– You had prepared yourself for this. You should let him look, so you kept them spread. Once his eyes turned to look at you again, they were instantly glued to the red lace covering the wet heaven he had wanted to touch and taste for so long.

“Oh, and it’s all for me, isn’t it sweetheart?” His voice was deep, rough and sultry and it was as if he wasn’t really asking you, but more like he was reassuring himself in fact like he said. And it was.

“Mhm~ All of it, Eds…” Your voice small, pretending shyness, that shyness that drove him insane. You heard a growl coming from him, his clouded eyes still staring down at your moving hips, waiting for him to do something. You clenched around nothing when he roughly grabbed the back of your knees and pulled them apart even more, and away.

“Let me taste this pussy that’s been driving me crazy for fucking months.” Your breathing hitched at the possessiveness he was talking with. His hands moved and his arms hugged your thighs as his body lowered, his stomach pressing against the mattress as his face came to stare at your throbbing slit, and he could see how wet the lace was. How drenched and dark the fabric had gotten. 

You couldn’t even process his words that your mouth was falling in a silent ‘o’, his mouth latching on the thong like a leech. Sucking and licking on it and if it felt good like this, how would you feel when he uncovers it? Your hands gripped the sheets beneath you as he kept licking pointedly into where your slit was, digging the fabric into it a bit.

Then he rode the tongue upwards, the pointy licks now against your clit, making you moan, letting the breath out of your lungs. Your body started feeling the heat travelling all over, and you should have touched yourself or something before he came over because you’re pretty sure you’re going to cum any second. 

He pulled away, his fingers grabbing onto the elastic of your thong, and he kneeled up to pull them down your legs. You helped him do just that and he smirked when he saw the little string of your wetness disconnecting from your center. That’s how wet you were. His jaw clenched when he finally got the thong off, but this one, he made sure to see where it landed, planning on taking it back with him. Probably frame it.

Your legs now did close while his head was turned, your knees together and leaning your way. You felt a little more exposed now, you couldn’t help it. It’s been a while since you had sex in general, this would happen no matter what. The shyness, the embarrassment. But when Eddie turned his head back around, he shook his head, glaring down at you.

“I’m having none of that.” His hands roughly grabbed onto your knees and he spread them apart, your center opening up for him, and you just flushed all over, feeling embarrassed but more aroused than ever. He was a starved man, no, animal. He was staring down at it as if it were the answer to all of his prayers. His body moved downwards, in the same position he was before, but this time, his hands gripped your inner thighs, keeping your legs spread. 

He was going to make sure to taste you completely.

His tongue darted out, finally pressing it against you, making you jerk upwards, completely taken aback by how good it felt and it was a simple press of the tongue. You were done for tonight. He hummed and moaned as he tasted you, and then–

“Fuck– Oh– Fuck!” Your voice was loud, your breathing loud as in one single moment Eddie was just looking at you after tasting you, and the next his mouth and tongue were everywhere. He sucked on your clit, kissed it, the tip of his tongue doing stripes in your center, up and down, teasing you about entering it. 

He was all over you, his fingers digging into your flesh, not caring if he leaves a mark, and if he does, good. Your head was thrown back into the pillow as he flicked his tongue back and forth on your clit, your hands flying to grab onto his head. He was still moaning, hips rutting into the mattress just by eating you out. You were absolutely delicious and he probably won’t get enough of you at all. 

“Better than what I imagined. So fucking sweet.” He hummed into you, and you felt your body start trembling, the pleasure making up a fog in your mind you hadn’t felt in so long. Suddenly, your eyes widened, feeling his tongue going inside, his nose hitting your clit as he made nodding moves with his head and his tongue moved around inside of you.

“Eddie– Eddie, baby, oh my god–” Your breathing was heavy, moaning his name out as if it were a god, and to you, he was one right now. Your belly clenched and burned and you could feel your climax creeping in by the minute. Eddie was happy to keep ravishing you, to keep tasting you, to keep making you fall apart. 

You felt one of his hands leave your inner thigh as well as his mouth, letting the air hit you and then a sharp breath, making your wetness become cold, a whimper ripping out of your throat. He chuckled as he saw your hips jerk from the air he blew, and then you tensed up when you felt his finger running through your slit to coat it with your juices. And then he entered. You wished he hadn’t taken his rings off to eat that pizza. You wanted those inside of you, he wanted them inside of you. He had told you as such.

His mouth bit the inside of your inner thigh as he kept moving his middle finger inside of you, feeling your warmth around him. Your back arched as he bit, and a moan ripped away from your throat. Your hands now gripped the pillow under your head, right by the edges. He started pumping his finger, in and out of you, and you were in bliss as you moaned his name in order to ground yourself in the moment.

So many fantasies in your head, of him touching you, of him moving on you, of his fingers entering you and making you see galaxies. You could only guess Eddie would be good with his fingers just by the fact that he played guitar. And, he was probing that fact right now and with just a single finger. 

He sucked on your skin as his eyes kept looking at how his finger glistened whenever it was pulled out of you. His hips kept rubbing against your mattress, the creaking of it ringing in his ears just by you moving your hips against his hand. He growled as he got his ring finger inside as well, and he finally curled his fingers inside of you. Your eyes widened, your head thrown back as you felt him inspect you, looking for something, rubbing and circling and wiggling and–

“OH–” Your hips jerked upwards at one particular movement. He quickly pressed his free hand on your hip, pushing you down to keep you in place, a smirk spreading on his lips.

“Found you.” Your body was combusting into itself as he kept abusing that part inside of you that no one ever bothered to find. No one ever bothered to look for it and you were feeling your body about to snap the more he rubbed his fingers against it. You were sure you were going to cum soon as you felt your belly start to turn, clench inside of you, and your walls fluttered around his fingers. There’s nothing that could make this better–

Except his tongue latching onto your clit as his fingers never stopped moving. You’ve never felt like this. Your hips were moving by themselves against him, needing more, and your moans were so loud that you were glad you had rented out a very thick walled apartment complex. You were probably heard anyways, but you honestly could care less right now.

He was sucking and biting on you and your body thrashed around as you kept your mouth open. Heavy breaths and moans escaping you without any restraint, not being able to feel anything else but the pleasure your boyfriend was giving you. Then, the stars slowly started to appear as your walls clenched and unclenched in warning. 

“Ed– Eddie– I’m gonna–”

“Yes, fuck yes, cum for me. I’ve been waiting for it, cum for me.” And that was all the green light you needed as you back arched off your bed, your head turning to the side as your eyes clenched tightly, holding the pillow in a death grip and making it cover your mouth to try to stifle your sounds a little bit more. You clenched all around him, your orgasm crashing on you like a trainwreck, your belly just contorting into itself as you felt him quicken his movements, riding your orgasm out.

You were gasping as your body remained tensed up, the loud squelching of his movements becoming louder thanks to how wet you became as you came and you came and you came because it felt never ending. You didn’t even notice his mouth was no longer on you, his upper body hovering over you as his right hand kept moving inside of you as he held himself up with the other one against the mattress, right next to your head.

He was looking at your contorted face. A face he’s seen multiple times on camera, on pictures you especially took for him. You started to unclench as your body slowly relaxed, twitched every other second thanks to the aftershocks of your orgasm. It was the best and biggest one you ever had. You felt him stop his movements, slowly, until then he pulled out, making you sigh.

Your eyes opened, blinking a few times to center yourself and then you turned your head to see him looking down at you. You realized he had stared at you during your climax and you felt a little embarrassed but you couldn’t even speak that you saw the fingers that were inside of you come into your vision, your breath heavy as you stared at all the juices that were on them. His eyes went towards them, the wetness moving down his palm, towards his wrist. 

His tongue darted out to lick it away, from his wrist to his fingers before putting them into his mouth to taste you again. He moaned into them, closing his eyes, and your own were wide at how filthy everything was, yet so deliciously amazing. He got his fingers out of his lips with a pop and then he looked down at you once again after opening his eyes once more, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Delicious. You’re so fucking perfect… So perfect.” You whined at his praise, your hands reaching out, arms wrapping around his shoulders as he leaned back down, kissing you desperately. You tasted yourself in his mouth, on his tongue, and it was all a little intoxicating. But, even if your body twitched, trembled, you needed more. You were not satisfied. Your thighs closed on his hips as he pressed himself against you again.

You wanted him so much, so much that it was a little bit frightening to you. Now, it was your turn to become an animal. You used your strength to signal him you wanted to turn him. He followed your directions, letting himself fall and roll you two in a different position. You were now straddling him, chest against his as you kissed him desperately. He chased after you when you pulled away and sat back onto him. Your eyes were darkened, pupils fully dilated as your hips moved against his bulge and he hissed, his head rolling against your pillow. 

“You like that, baby?” You asked sweetly, and he groaned, nodding desperately. You bit your lip as you grabbed onto the hem of your tanktop and you ripped it off your body in just one second. His eyes were now glued to the matching red bra you had on. 

“Oh fuck… Please tell me you took a picture of yourself in this…” He asked, making you smirk and you had in fact taken one… or more. And maybe a video.

“If you behave, I’ll think about sending those to you.” He bit his bottom lips as his hips jerked upwards and you knew you were staining his jeans, but he didn’t care, nor did you. Not when you were about to take them off. You moved backwards, your eyes falling to his belt. Your hands undid it as quickly as they could. You were breathing rather heavily still, and if you had your tongue out, you bet you would be drooling with anticipation, knowing what was under these pants and boxers. 

Once the button and zipper were undone as well, it was your turn to take the pants off, but you added his boxers in the mix, killing two birds with one stone. Your patience was wearing thin right now, and you couldn’t handle wasting any more time with him. He helped you rip the rest of his clothes off, throwing his pants and boxers off and you almost fell back from how desperate you were. 

You heard the thud of his clothes on the floor and then your eyes finally saw it. Oh, pictures and videos did it no justice. Your mouth watered as your eyes looked at every detail, the veins, the tip, the length, the girth… the tattoo. The fucking tattoo on the underside of his cock. Fuck. You were sure you’re getting wetter again just by looking at him. You didn’t notice how Eddie’s eyes were looking at you as he held himself up on his elbows. 

He saw the lust filled look in your eyes, and he could swear he saw your pupils turn into literal hearts as you sighed happily, your hands rubbing on his thighs as you slowly leaned down. His breathing hitched, a broken breath being taken in. Your eyes didn’t leave it for a single second. You were fascinated. You kept your ass up as your upper body lowered more and more. Your nails dragged across his belly when you finally reached the height you needed to have him right in front of your eyes.

Your tongue licked your lips to moisten them, getting them ready to finally taste what you’ve been craving for so long. You gave his tip a tentative kiss, making it twitch instantly. He wanted to throw his head back but he needed to watch you. He needed to engrave this to memory. He is sparing this time because it’s your first time with each other… but he will throw it on the table the next day.

He wants to record you just like this, and much more.

Your tongue lolled out now, your hand coming to grip it to keep it steady as you passed your tongue along the shaft, towards the tip. You heard Eddie groan loudly, wanting to jerk his hips upwards in you, but holding himself back from doing so, letting you have your own moment. Your lips finally closed on his tip, and his body shivered underneath you. 

You closed your eyes as you moaned with delight, just sucking the tip of his length to then pop it out. You suddenly spat on it, so you could lube it up in order for your hand to help you in those places you couldn’t reach with your mouth.

“Fucking christ…” You heard him curse with a hiss and you wanted to laugh cockily at him, but you didn’t want to ruin the moment. You finally guided him into your mouth, your movements slow, tongue swirling around him as you went. Maybe it was your imagination going a little wild, but somehow he tasted so good, and you blamed the tattoo for it, as if it were an exotic spice.

He gulped with a sigh, his elbows slowly starting to give up on him the more you moved your head. Your movements quickened, the noise of slurping being added into the mix and you could feel him falling onto the bed with a thud. His hands came to lay on the sheets, gripping onto them so he wouldn’t grab your head, not wanting to force you. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and you finally heard him moan your name. Sigh it out. 

That was one of the most beautiful sounds you’ve ever heard. You had heard him before, but it was different in real life. It was his voice. In real time. No interference or internet filter to cover it or mess with his vocal chords. It prompted you to move quicker, play with your tongue against his frenulum, making him whimper and jerk his hips into your mouth, making him gasp when you gagged slightly.

“Shit– Are you okay–?” His head looked down, worry shining through the lust, only to find you smiling as you looked at his cock, before going back in. He chuckled in amazement and it was his go to grab your head with his right hand, just letting it sit there as you did your own pace and movements. 

You liked it. You liked the roughness, you had told him you didn’t mind soft and sweet, but you preferred rough and desperate. He is surely giving you that tonight. Your mouth was quick on him, and you could taste some precum in your tongue as you did so. You moaned into it, sending vibrations that made him moan and shiver underneath you.

“Mmmh–” You popped him out of your mouth to then lick his entire length and he sighed your name until he felt the tip of your tongue running on him, and suddenly he chuckled in awe once more.

“Sweetheart, you’re fucking tracing my tattoo with your tongue?” You were in a trance as you kept doing it, giving a dumb little nod. “Shit, that’s so fucking hot–”

“Been wanting to do this for so long… Wanted to trace it–” His resolve broke that second, wondering how many times had you imagined this and dreamed of it. His fingers snaked in your hair, deep, and then he gripped your scalp, making you whimper. The pain was nothing, it only added to the pleasure and it made you tremble as he was on his elbow, looking down at you.

“Think you can be a good girl for me and take me all?” You nodded desperately, looking at him with those eyes he fell for. Puppy eyes. He guided you towards the tip and you opened your mouth instantly, letting him go back into your warmth. Your hands stayed on his thighs, and his free hand gripped the sheets tightly, guiding you further and further and then– he controlled your movements.

He made you bob your head on him, up and down, setting the rhythm himself and you didn’t mind him. You clenched around nothing when you started feeling him hit the back of your throat. You relaxed, knowing what was going to come next and then you breathed through your nose. Once he heard you take a deep intake of breath, he pushed you down, slowly, but roughly.

Your eyes teared up as you finally felt him down your throat. Your nose was deep into his hairs, something he trimmed but kept because you told him you liked it. You breathed through your nose as you focused on not gagging. You moaned into it knowing it would send vibrations to him, causing him to moan your name, feeling his hips move underneath you with need.

But you could hold on for so long, your body slightly jerking as your throat closed on him. The gag making Eddie pull you back up and get himself out of your mouth. He looked at your fucked out face as tears ran down your cheeks, and drool was slipping out the corner of your mouth. Seeing it live was making him feel a little dizzy, and your clouded eyes were not being any help.

You couldn’t wait anymore, your body climbing up on him as he let go of your hair, his hand falling to your hip as your dripping cunt rubbed against his length, right over the tattoo. He sighed, his eyes closing for a second as he enjoyed the friction, the warmth of you. Your hands went to your back, unhooking the bra open. At the sound, Eddie’s eyes found you, taking the straps down your arms, and your last piece of clothing was long gone. 

“Oh, fuck sweetheart–”

“Eddie, can I? Please–” Your voice was desperate, whiny, and your hips kept moving back and forth on him, whimpering each time your clit rubbed against his shaft. His eyes were focused on your breasts, his fingertips digging into your skin, and then he nodded quickly, giving you the go.

You smiled, delighted. Your hips raised up enough for you to get your hand in between the two of you. Your hand grabbed onto his cock, guiding him to your entrance, which was so ready to receive him. You two had gotten tested, knowing what was going to transpire the moment you met, and you were so glad you were on birth control to regulate your cycle. This way, you can feel him completely. Raw. You started sinking down, your mouth falling open as his tip started to stretch you, then the rest and, fuck–

“Holy fuck, holy shit–” He was cursing as he looked between your bodies, seeing himself disappear inside of you as your face was still in a contorted state of pleasure. Your voice was gone as you kept sinking down, and you couldn’t wait how it felt to have him bottom out inside of you. You already felt full, and you barely went halfway down on him. It wasn’t even painful, thanks to his prep, to your orgasm, the one he caused.

Finally, you slammed down on him, a loud slap bursting in your ears at your skin hitting his. He choked on a moan at bottoming out inside of you while you trembled in ecstasy, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as your nails scratched on his chest for support. Your breathing was heavy, and Eddie could finally refocus on you once more. You were adjusting to him, your head moving back to look down at him, your mouth still letting out breaths that drove him insane. 

He was about to talk, only for you to start moving, lifting yourself up to then slam back down, a moan finally escaping your lips as a groan left his. His hands were gripping your waist as if his life depended on it. He felt so good inside of you, just like you always knew he would feel like. He fit perfectly, and you certainly have no idea how you will survive when you don’t have him anymore with you.

Your hips kept moving, going up and down, your tempo rising, the slamming of your hips against his turning louder as he hit deeper. Your moans filled the room, the strain on your legs nonexistent as the pleasure overtook you. The air grew thick thanks to your breath and his, the purple hue making him look ethereal underneath you, his eyes half-lidded as he sighed out in each slam.

It was desperate, it was dirty, the squelching of your pussy against his pelvis, knowing your juices were making a mess out of it. You waited far too long for this and you were going to enjoy every single second of it. His hands moved to get a hold of your breasts as you bounced on him, as you rode the soul out of him. 

“Look at you sweetheart– Fucking look at you…” You whined at his words, your eyes closed as he hit you in that sweet spot you adored, your nippled getting in between his fingers for him to pinch and roll. Whimpers and moans leaving your lips at each shock of pleasure, and each time you came down, your clit would brush against his pubes. 

“Eds– You feel so good, so damn good–” He grinned at your praise, a thin sheer layer of sweat appearing all over his body as he played with you however he wanted. Suddenly you slammed your hips against him, changing your movements to go back and forth, a gasp leaving your throat and your nails digging into his chest.

“You feel good, baby?” He asked smugly, containing his moans in as he saw you lean back, his hands falling to your middle, while your hands gripped his knees. Your clit kept brushing against him as his cock inside you kept slapping your g-spot. Your movements were fast, hips just swaying like a dance and your mouth remained open in the entirety of it. You nodded dumbly, your head falling backwards as you stared at your ceiling, feeling your eyes burn in pleasure.

“Uh huh, uh huh–” You couldn’t even form words as your belly coiled, twisted on its own. His eyes fell closed, head thrown back into the pillow as you just used him to your liking. Your movements slowed and your head went back to looking at him, your hips changing rhythm as you swayed them in circles and you raised them just a little, moving back down slowly on him. A huff left him as he noticed the change, his eyes opening again to stare at your form.

You were possessed. You didn’t even recognize yourself, never once thinking you would act this way when meeting him. You knew you would be needy, but never this. Never this animalistic. The creaking of your bed was loud, now noticing it just as you noticed your legs growing tired, the trembling evident, but you didn’t want to stop this feeling. Eddie noticed of course, sitting up so he could embrace you, his mouth immediately latching onto your right nipple. 

Your arms immediately enclosed around his frame, hands digging into his hair as he rolled your sensitive nipple between his teeth, to then tug at it. You gasped between your moans as he let go of it, and then you let a breath out when he laid back on the bed, pulling you with him, your chest now against him. He chuckled with a breath, planting his feet on the bed, raising his hips upwards.

“My turn, isn’t it?” And the world became non-existent when his hips started slamming up into you, the slapping of skin loud enough for the people living at the very corner of the street to hear, your moans loud enough for the moon to listen to. 

His movements were rough, quick, his hands gripping your body to keep you in place and for him to have leverage. His breaths were quick, a curse and your name escaping him here and there, your headboard hitting your wall, and you were certain you would have a noise complaint in the early morning, but that was a problem for the two of you in the future.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck!” You whined as his balls also slapped against you, and you knew tears were falling from your eyes as he kept thrusting, rutting into you. He grunted into your ear, his teeth nipping at your earlobe, which only made you whimper against him. Suddenly he slammed his hips into you, slow and deep, to then repeat the action, and then again.

He growled in each one, and then his hips stopped moving, still inside you, hips attached. You were both panting messes, drool dripping from your mouth from keeping it open all this while, falling onto the pillow and right beside his head. He lowered his hips, making you follow immediately, hitting the mattress once again. 

“You alright, darling?” He asked breathlessly and you smiled, nodding against him, which only elicited a smug grin on his lips. “Good, because I’m nowhere done with you.”

Your world was flipped, him having turned you both, his body on top of you once again, and his lips crashed into yours. Immediate tongues and teeth clashing, your moans into his throat and his in yours. He groaned as he slowly started moving his hips into yours once again, the fire having never left you, nor did for him. His mouth was still in your ear as he kept talking to you, softly, in a rough whisper–

“You want to know what I had to do before getting off the plane?” His words were barely processing in your head, but you still understood him as his ministrations inside of you never stopped. You shook your head, but he was not having it. “Talk.”

“W-What?” You asked and he tutted, relishing in having turned you into a cockdrunk mess.

“What…?” 

“What– Fuck, what did you do?” He hummed in approval, his breath hot in your ear, and if you thought this man couldn’t turn you on more than he was already, even when fucking you senseless, you were wrong.

“I had to jack off in the plane’s bathroom before landing.” You gasped as his hips rutted deep inside you, grunting into your ear before he continued. “I wouldn’t have lasted if I didn’t.”

You felt your belly burning, a moan escaping your lips with his name etched in it like a prayer. He chuckled through a huff, his movements still slow and meditated, his lips finding your neck once more, sucking on your skin to leave his mark. He was sure to mark you all up before he left, from head to toe, for everyone in your state to know you belonged to someone, that you belonged to him.

He will trace and retrace, leave your skin in red and purple markings. First mark? A necklace for your neck. So he continued moving, sucking onto your skin and biting onto it as he went from one side to another as you became a mess under him. Your nails were scratching the back of his neck, his back, reciprocating the marking in your own way. He could feel it, and he was going to proudly show it off before they fade away, going to make sure to prepare a gig so he could rip his shirt off in front of everyone so they could see.

His lips left your skin, his hands planting on the mattress on each side of your head to push himself up to admire his work. Your eyes were half lidded, completely blown out as your breaths left your pretty lips. A perfect necklace of hickies around your neck that looked way too good on you, a grin appearing on his lips. 

“Perfect… Fucking perfect.” With those words, your arms fell to the sides as he slowly kneeled up, his hands running all over your body, creating goosebumps on your skin despite how hot you felt. He then gripped your waist, tightly, and you saw how his smile fell, his chest moving up and down in heavy breaths and then–

He started railing into you like a madman. More creaks. More slapping of skin. More squelching. More cries of pleasure leaving you as he abused your insides in the most delicious and addicting of ways. Your hands coming to grip the pillow underneath your head once again, your legs spread as you saw them bounce back and forth as he moaned over you.

“Uh– Ed– Eds!” He loved to hear his name coming out of your mouth like this. He can’t wait to record you, stash this in his secured folder in his phone for his use when he returns to Hawkins. His fringe was surely sticking to his forehead from the force of his movements, but he couldn’t stop. He wasn’t going to stop, not when you were a blabbering fucking mess.

You saw his contorted face, the pleasure just written all over it, the desperation. Your whole entire self was putty, letting him use you, letting him take whatever he wanted from you and you were enjoying it. You were loving it. You were loving him. You gasped when you started feeling that pressure in your belly grow, the climax building inside of you and Eddie could feel it the second your walls fluttered around him.

“Where is it?” He breathlessly asked and you didn’t even know if he said something until his movements stopped and a hand grabbed your cheeks, puckering your lips to catch your attention. His face was suddenly inches from yours. “I asked, where is it, darling.”

“Wha–?” You were so confused, your hips swaying so he would keep moving but his hips were grounded against you as he shook his head at you, his grip tightening around your face.

“Where’s the vibrator?” That little pink thing he saw you use millions of times, and you were trying to process his words in your head, your hand moving shakily towards your night table. He let go of your face so he could reach over, almost ripping the drawer open and he instantly saw it. He grabbed it, your eyes following his movements as they slowly widened, knowing what he was going to do. He smirked your way, licking his bottom lip as his finger pressed on the ‘on’ button, the little but powerful bullet vibrator coming to life.

“Eddie…” You called to him as he kneeled up, sitting back on his calves, his left hand still gripping your waist tightly as his right one held your vibrator, his eyes stuck on it. 

“Intense little fucker, no wonder it’s your favorite to use, baby.” He gave it a kiss, sending a tremble all over your body, “Arch your back.”

You followed his instructions, and even if tired, you planted your feet on the bed, arching your back upwards. His hips started moving again, your hands gripping the pillow tightly once more as you whined, your mouth closed this time. The headboard started to slowly bang against the wall once more the more he picked up speed and your mind was gone. 

It felt even deeper than before, more intense, and the position was making your spongy spot be hit perfectly in each thrust. He huffed in each one, trying to control his breathing as you moaned loud ‘ah ah ah’s’, and then, a cry was ripped from you when the vibrator was placed on your clit, your eyes widening at the sensation. 

“You’re such a dream, so perfect for me, made for me–” He grunted as your body trembled underneath him, your orgasm now building at a quick and desperate pace. You would be surprised if you weren’t screaming his name. 

“So good! Fuck– It’s so fucking good! Keep– Keep going, pleasepleaseplease–” You were begging, as if he were to even think of stopping. He felt you fluttering and clenching all around him, making him growl and grunt, your name slipping from his lips. He could feel his own climax reaching close now, but he was going to feel you one more time. He rolled the vibrator around your clit, flicking it against you as the hand on your waist helped you keep yourself arched against him.

“Yeah baby, scream my fucking name, come on–” He was touching heaven right now, the more you talked, the more you cried out, the more you clenched around him. Drool out of your mouth, tears out of your eyes, that fucking necklace he put around your neck. It will go so well with his pick necklace.

“Eddie– Eddie– Eddie, please!” You kept begging and begging the more you felt yourself tipping over the edge. The creaking of your bed and the banging of the headboard falling to deaf ears, only your moans and his, the vibrator and the slapping of skin the only sounds heard between these four walls.

“I know, baby, I know. Let go, come on, you can do it for me– Be a good girl, come on–” The praise was what sent you off, your face turning just like it did last time to muffle your moan, your cry, your yelp, as your body arched into him, your walls clenching around his cock, tighter than they did the first time. It prompted him to stop his movements, a loud grunt being heard from him as you saw stars behind your eyelids.

He could only rut his hips into you to help you ride your orgasm, keeping the vibrator to your clit, making your body convulse in ecstasy. He could feel his own body tensing up, the tightness making it impossible for him to hold himself back. He felt you slowly unclench around him, your body twitching against him. Once he knew he could move again, your insides now so smooth to glide into, his need for release made him go feral.

Your vibrator was thrown to the side, and he was panting as he leaned over you, letting your back touch the mattress once again. His hands gripped the top of your headboard as your body was folded, your hips now lifting from your mattress one more time, your body already sore, but he had to cum. He needed to cum. You needed to feel him inside of you, because you would let him mark you inside and out.

His hips slammed against you, jerking you upwards, a yelp coming out of your lips from overstimulation. He grunted in each thrust, your breath knocked out of your lungs as he did it slowly, yet rough. Slam. Slam. Slam.

“I’m– I’m gonna cum– I’m going to fill you up so good, jesus fucking christ–” And all it took was one last slam before he let himself sit inside of you, his eyes clenching tightly as he came, a moan escaping your lips as you felt him and then–

CRACK.

His hands slid from the headboard as you both suddenly dropped, a gasp escaping you. A choked breath left your lips the moment you two bounced, his body almost falling over you if it weren’t for his elbows that planted on each side of your head, your hips falling back down. Your heart was beating out of your throat, your lungs compressed from the scare and adrenaline.

What had just happened? You shivered when Eddie shuddered, a last spurt being shot inside of you. You were both panting, his face coming to meet yours after he looked around at what had happened.

“Sweetheart, did– did we just break your bed?” And you realised your mattress was now on top of broken boards, hinges, and your headboard was a little wobbly, holding onto the side rails that enclosed your mattress. You blinked a few times as your arms held onto Eddie, and then–

You laughed through your exhaustion, through the adrenaline, through the remainder of your climaxes, and he followed right behind you. Breathless laughs, gulping from the sudden realization of how dry your throats were, but the giggles never stopped. Your mind was now clearer thanks to the scare, thanks to how incredible it was that you two had managed to break your slats, despite the seller telling you they were very strong and sturdy.

“We… We did…” You replied through heavy breaths, huffs of laughter escaping you through them and he chuckled on top of you, his bun now a mess, to the point it was almost coming off. 

“I’ll get you a new one… holy fuck…” You shook your head with a smile as you held his face, guiding him into a soft kiss this time, your heart bursting with giddiness. 

“No, it’s okay…” He smiled down at you, all teeth, and pecked your lips once again, his breath hitting your face, strong exhales coming from his nose. He pulled away, and his eyes were just wide with amusement as you smiled up at him.

“Oof.” He sighed to then smile down at you. “Well, that was the biggest workout I had in a while.” You giggled, giving him a nod in understanding, your chest still heaving as you caught your breath.

“I can agree with you on that one…” You reached up to put a strand of hair behind his ear, a content smile on your face, not being able to hide your happiness despite your body aching all over. He huffed one more time, kissing the tip of your nose before he started to slowly pull out of you. You both groaned at the feeling, realizing how sensitive the two of you were. He sighed one more time, his eyes falling onto your center. They widened as he pulled himself up, almost falling over from how wobbly his legs were, making you laugh in confusion as you pulled yourself up with a whimper, but he stopped you.

“Stay there! Do not move.” He stepped over the side rails, once again, almost falling over. He grabbed his phone from the pocket of his jacket, and you could see his tongue poking out of his lips as he came back to you, his camera pointing directly at your pussy. Your eyes were wide with embarrassment, wanting to close your legs on him. “Nuh uh, no.”

“What are you doing!?”

“I am not missing the opportunity to take a picture out of this!” He smiled with victory as he snapped the photo and then looked at it. “Best Valentine's ever!” 

He then showed it to you and you gasped as you saw his cum dripping out of you, and you immediately sat up properly, to then get up to clench your legs together, making him laugh.

“Not funny! It’s running down!” 

The following events were funny, domestic even. You two went to the bathroom as Eddie apologized, lying of course, while you sat on the toilet waiting for every single drop of him to fall down into it. You both then washed yourselves with a wet washcloth each because you were too tired to take a shower. A slap being given at Eddie for the hickies, the extremely unhideable hickies, he left on your neck. A brush of teeth and deciding to just go to bed naked, Eddie’s suggestion with a wiggle of eyebrows.

“Easier access for when we wake up tomorrow.” You had smacked him on top of the head and while you got some water bottles from the kitchen, he had pulled the broken slats from underneath the mattress.

After finally hydrating yourselves again, and maybe eating another slice of pizza, even though you brushed your teeth minutes ago, you were finally laying on his chest as a new comforter covered both of you because the other one had to be desperately washed now… maybe even burned.

You sighed in contentment as you traced figures on his chest, your heart beating rapidly as he kept his arm around you, the other one on the back of his head, smiling at your ceiling. The purple hue in your room thanks to the led lights making it a calm atmosphere for the two of you now, instead of horny animals.

Your mouth opened and closed as you debated your next words. Should you? Would he run off? Would he get scared? Was it too soon? Maybe it was, but you needed to get the words out of your system before you exploded with them. The actions that had just transpired made your feelings just burst and grow tenfold than what they already were.

But he deserved it. He deserved every single word.

“Eds…”

“Mmm?” He was still smiling, his breathing now calm, relaxed, and your eyes clenched as you pressed your head even more into his chest.

“I love you.”

Silence. His body tensed all over, you could feel it underneath your palm, your body that was draped against his side. You fucked up. You did, didn’t you? You ruined it. You ruined his visit, the moment, the relationship, by simply moving too fast.

Yet, both his arms came to squish you close to him, eliciting an ‘oof’ from your part as he knocked the breath out of your lungs. He was hugging you, tightly, rocking the both of you with happiness, almost giggling with it.

“You fucking beat me to it! I was supposed to say it first! I was mustering the courage just now.” He replied and your eyes widened for a second as you processed his words, a smile bursting in your lips as you held him close, feeling the need to cry out of joy, sadness, and with hope.

“Then say it back, you idiot.” You claimed and he chuckled, moving so he could be facing you, both of you on your sides now. His hand came to trace your cheek softly, adoringly, as if he was etching your features into memory. 

“I love you, my goddess.” There was a blush on his cheeks as he said it, and you knew he meant every word. You felt heat rush to your own cheeks, still smiling at him with devotion. He licked his lips nervously as he stuttered his next words. “Y-You know… Virginia doesn’t… look that bad.” 

You were taken aback by his words and– Was he saying…

“Are you… implying you want to move… here?” You asked, your eyes wide, and now you realize Eddie had been having the same fears as you were. Moving too fast. In the eyes of strangers it might be, but after having him here with you… it didn’t feel fast at all.

“I mean– It’s a little too soon, and I need to… check finances and… get a new job and all… but, well– Gotta start thinking about it, you know.” He was looking down, trying to avoid your gaze. You really wanted to cry now. You never expected that playing a game would end in this situation. You smiled warmingly as your hand rested on his cheek, making him look at you once again.

“Mmm… I think that Charleston in West Virginia sounds… good.” He frowned and you knew he was confused. You remembered how Eddie told you he failed senior year twice, so maybe you had to be more specific. “It’s right in between Indiana and Virginia…”

His face softened, a warm smile appearing and his left hand rubbing your waist lovingly. You were making sure you both had equal distance between your family and friends. A distance where you probably didn’t need a plane ticket to visit. He gave you a nod, pulling you closer for his nose to touch yours.

“Then we better start planning, sweetheart.”

And that you did plan.

end

a/n: i just think that long distance eddie would be as feral as a rabid dog when meeting his partner for the first time ever. pls reblog, don't just like

divider by @thecutestgrotto

[muwapsturniolo]

✯𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐎𝐟 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝✯

chris x black earthy/boho!reader

IN WHICH…Y/n finds a peace of mind with her lover, and his two brothers.

WARNINGS: nothing besides smoking.

5 a.m.

It was 5 a.m on a Sunday and Y/n couldn't sleep, her mind racing intangible thoughts. With a sigh she carefully sits up, attempting to not wake up her sleeping boyfriend. She successfully does so and begins moving around the room, gathering the items she would need.

She exits the room once she gathers everything, and walks down the hallway, peaking into the guest room to check on Nick and Matt. They decided to come over with Chris and ended up spending the night. She didn't have a problem with it, always hating being alone.

She found their company relieving.

Seeing that the two are still sound asleep, she continues her trek through the big house. She arrives in the kitchen where she grabs a bottle of kombucha out of the fridge, making her way outside barefoot.

She shudders as the crisp california air nips at her skin, not use to the cold that comes in the early morning, and leaves before it even hits 12 p.m. She takes a seat on her poolside couch and sets up her camera, pressing record before rolling up.

"It's currently 5 a.m. and I couldn't sleep, so I decided to come outside and journal while the sun rises." She speaks to the camera softly, her eyes trained on the grinded-up plant in front of her. "The boys spent the night and are currently still sleeping. It was nice having them over, not having to be alone." She lights the joint and inhales the smoke, holding it in for a few seconds before exhaling.

"I'm not sure why I hate being alone so much, I think it's because I came from a big family and I'm not used to quiet...Granted it's never quiet considering my thoughts are always loud but I digress." She stops talking and flips open to an empty page, starting to write all of her thoughts and feelings down. She leaves the camera rolling, figuring she would just make it a time-lapse with some copyright-free neo-soul music playing over it.

She wasn't a typical YouTuber, never doing big fancy things and showing off. She was a more peaceful and serene one, her videos consisting of her lifestyle and talking about her feelings.

Her videos that have done well so far are her lifestyle vlogs, the main points being her smoking, painting, cooking, and shopping for crystals. It seems as if the viewers also love her monthly vinyl reviews, finding the way she expressed her love for music interesting.

That's how Chris found her.

He was looking for a YouTube video to watch before bed and he saw a thumbnail of hers. She was smoking in the thumbnail, a wall of vinyl's behind her as the title read, "fav vinyls this month".

He won't lie, he clicked on it because she was pretty, but he stayed for her personality and the raw emotions she expressed as she talked about the Fugees.

To say the least he went down a rabbit hole and watched all her videos that night, adding some of her favorite songs to a playlist.

Speaking of the boy...

She turned around hearing the patio door open, a soft smile gracing her face seeing her half-asleep boyfriend making his way towards her. "Why the hell are you up so early? And why did you leave me?" He questions plopping down next to her. "Couldn't sleep and I didn't want to bother you with my tossing and turning...Why are you up so early?"

"You know I can't sleep without you." He fixes her legs so he can lay in between them, sighing out as his head meets her soft and plush thighs. She smiles softly and runs her nails along his scalp, caressing his face at the same time. "What were you thinking about?" He mumbles when he notices the journal and pen.

She shrugs, "I'm not sure... My mind was just loud." He opens his eyes and looks up at her in worry. She notices and shakes her head, "Nothing bad, don't worry baby." He nods and relaxes back against her body.

The two lay on the couch in comfortable silence as they experience the twilight, listening to the birds chirp as they awaken from their peaceful slumber. The pool rumbles softly as it begins to clean itself, the water rippling due to the vibrations.

"This is nice," she looks down hearing Chris's groggy voice. "Hm?''

"I said this is nice... Laying here and watching the sunrise with you, not having to worry about what the day brings." She hums in agreement and watches as the skies turn from dark blue to hues of pink, purple, and orange.

The sunrise reflects off of the rippling water of the pool, casting a warm glow on the two bodies. Y/n tilts her head back as she basks in the warm rays. It seems as if her thoughts finally quieted down, giving her a chance to be calm.

Chris stares at his girlfriend, his heart swelling in admiration seeing her in her natural habitat. He truly believed she wasn't meant to be in LA. She was meant to be somewhere that had a bunch of greenery, somewhere that had a waterfall right under the sun so she could bask in it like a cat. Somewhere where she could be free and at peace.

"I can feel you staring at me," she looks down at Chris whose face has a hue of red. "Just admiring you. I can't admire my girlfriend now?" She giggles and motions for him to sit up. She pulls him into a soft kiss, enjoying the warmth of his lips.

"It's six thirty and you two are already being gross." The couple pulls away and looks at a half-awake Nick, and a sluggish Matt. The two make their way over and sit on the ground in front of the couch. "Shut up, I was enjoying time alone with my girlfriend since you two decided to crash last night." Y/n watches as Chris and Nick go back and forth, their banter not making sense since they are both still tired.

"Can both of you shut the hell up? It's early and you two are bitching for no reason." Matt grunts. Chris huffs before settling back down against Y/n, burying his face in her stomach. He kisses the brown skin before fiddling with her waist beads.

The quad dives into a conversation, not talking about anything important per say but just talking. They soon fall into silence, enjoying the peace before they have to go back to their busy lives. Not long after, Y/n's brown cat Janelle, joins them causing Matt to gasp in excitement.

As he plays with her, Y/n rolls another blunt. "I wish I could do this every day. Your house just makes me feel at home." Nick breathes out.

"That's funny considering I only find it to be homey when you guys are here." She grabs her lighter and sparks the pink wrap, inhaling it before handing it to Chris. She watches as the smoke cascades in the sun, creating shapes of different sizes.

"Wouldn't it be crazy if we all just lived with each other?" Matt voices, his tone light as he plays with the cat.

"I wouldn't be opposed to it...We are always with each other anyway." Nick adds.

"I would like that honestly," Chris eyes Y/n as she speaks, his heart racing at her words. He knows it's too soon, the two of them have only been with each other for 7 months. However he knows she's the one, his family loves her, his friends love her, he loves her. She came into his life and watered him like a plant, helping him bloom into something more.

"Fuck it, let's do it!" Everyone turns to Chris in surprise.

"Huh?"

Chris sits up and turns his body towards Y/n, "Let's move in with each other...I mean you hate living alone and we are always over anyway. Let's move in with each other."

"Are you sure Chris?" Y/n wants to scream and dance in excitement at the thought of her best friends and boyfriend living with her, but the sensible part of her isn't sure. Granted they have been friends for a year but she and Chris have only been dating for 7 months. "Yeah, I don't have a problem living with you, I think it would be great... I want this relationship to go somewhere...I think you're the one for me."

Y/n feels her eyes burning as the salty tears form, slowly descending down her face. Chris chuckles and pulls the girl into him, holding her tightly.

They all sit in silence, letting Y/n get her emotions out.

After a few minutes, Y/n sniffles and pulls away from Chris.

"Yeah."

"Yeah?"

"I'm in... I want you guys to move in with m-" Before she can finish her last word, she's dogpiled by the three boys, all of them laughing and shouting in excitment.

"Yes! This is so exciting! I'm going to love having a fully decorated house!"

"I get to see Janelle every day!"

"And I get to love on you every day!" Chris pulls her into a deep kiss, ignoring the groans of Nick and Matt.

The two brothers stand up and walk back into the house, leaving the couple alone once again.

They pull away from the kiss, their foreheads touching as they look each other in the eyes, both of their bodies full of love and tranquility.

"I love you," Chris whispers, his voice holding nothing but affection.

"I love you too"

The two lean in once again, their lips touching softly and tenderly.

The sun shines directly in front of them, the camera only able to see the silhouettes of the lovers.

i was in a fluffly mood so i hope yall like it💕

TAGLIST 🍑

@bernardsgf @bernardsleftbootycheek @blahbel668 @mattfrfr @gdsvhtwa @sturniolo-aali @lily-loves-struniolos @kynda-avery @causeidontlikeagoldrush

@st7rnioioss @carolinalikesthings @mattslolita @suyqa @xxloveralways14 @pepsiimaxx @judespoision

@ivonchetooo1239 @imaslut4kehlani @that-general-simp @m4stermindd @itzdarling @gigisworldsstuff @adoreindie @braindead4l @pettydollie @chrissgirlsstuff @alexis007 @ratatioulle @yamamasjumpercables @luv4kozume @sturnioloslurps @kqyslyho3 @j3tblackt3ars @ilovestarz @lustfulslxt @soimightlikeoldmen69 @tastesousweet @slut4sebastiansallow @whicked-hazlatwhore @stasiesturn @loljackwasfat @nicksmainbitch @ninacutebee16 @mayhem-72 @sturniolosmind @breeloveschris @mattslolita @mattsivy @guccifrog @hysteria-things @mrssturnioloo @koris_009 @patscorner @mayhem-72 @worldlxvlys @nickuniversity @luverboychris @thenickgirl @riasturns @imwetforyourmom @junnniiieee07 @realuvrrr @milasturniolo @fwskullz @hearts4tatemcrae @mattandchrismakemewett @chrissystur @canthelpit0 @strnilo @demistyles @junovrsmp4 @heartsforchrisandmatt @maryx2xx @vecnasnose0 @freshsturns @xxsturnxx @pettydollie @crimsoncorpse @sturnssmuts @sturniolovoid @m0r94n @freshsturns @adoreindie

[peachetteprice]

CW: masturbation, sexting, squirting...

Imagine meeting Gaz in a pub in central London, hitting it off over a cheap aluminium can of cider that he helps save from toppling from the bar as he gathers drinks for him and his company. Hitting it off so well, in fact, almost to the point of ridiculousness as, when he asks if you'll go with him to Richmond Park, you agree in a flash, and it's off to the park to find the shadiest tree to snog you against, his turgid cock grinding against the gusset of your underwear beneath your dress. It's all a bit... quick.

When you announce you should be off, because it's late, and the moon is full, and it's never a good idea to sleep with a guy when the moon is full, because it can drive a woman insane with lust, and though he says he likes insane, and indeed, even a woman in lust, you refuse, and he waits with you until your taxi arrives, stuffing his cock into his waistband so it'll stop nudging him your way.

The three-and-a-half fortunate things to come about after that night were meeting Kyle Garrick, his wonderful mouth (including the little whines he made), and his number in your phone. He calls you a few times, and you call him a few times. He asks if you're busy - you are. You ask if he's busy - he is. It's cat-and-mouse for a while until he stops chasing, and you stop running, and vice versa, and neither of you speak for months. Eventually, the memory of Kyle fades, as does the moment you shared, and the gorgeous things he whispered into your ear that he wished to do to you once you were both alone, until one day, an unspectacular day in November, he sends a photo.

And gosh, is it a photo.

All veins and girth and a burgundy tip smeared with pre-cum, pushed flat along the waistband of his joggers, with his manicured thumb frozen in the moment of dragging that same cum down his length. A tingle sickens your abdomen. Your mouth waters. How could it be that you're all alone in your flat, aching to show him a sliver of yourself? What cruelty awaits? Your fingers reach into your pants - wet, even more than that fateful night in June when you had to clench your thighs together just to stop it from dribbling down your legs.

You open your camera to show him, too - a message pops up.

No pictures. Video. Sound on. Show me that darling girl.

Spread out along your mattress, phone in hand, you angle the camera down, and slide the length of your fingers along your cunt. It squelches - cum runs slick along its lips, and as you have no reason to be quiet, you let every waning tone out. One fingertip dips inside, then another; until you're pumping yourself at a relaxed pace, realising that at some point, you'll need to squirt, for the pressure on that particular spot is too great, the pleasure too intense, and the thought of Kyle watching it back with hand stroking that gorgeous cock of his is too tantilising. You squirt; your thighs tremble. It isn't pretty, nor is the slow-down, whining, moaning at the friction, but you're sure 'pretty' isn't what he wants from a woman. He wants grit; mess.

Send.

That's it, darling - Christ, look at that. That was under your dress all this time? Should have bent you over a park bench when I had the chance. Got anything else for me, sweetheart?

Sure, you do - you have a toy. A silicone dildo you suction to the floor and lower yourself onto, cunt bulging to accommodate the size. You lilt up, then down, again and again, driven wet by the girth and the moulded ridges shuddering against the walls of your pussy. It's his cock, you believe. He tells you that himself. Proud and dastardly, keening up into you as you ride into the sunset on him, hips cantering, toes curling, throat pulsing with blood until, with an audible schlick and a panted whimper or two, you cum a second time, and your hands shake when sending the video, fingertips zipping with pleasure.

God, if only it were his cock inside you.

You wait on bated breath for a response. A few minutes lapse, and a bell sounds.

Address. Now. Can't keep that poor girl all to yourself.

| Masterlist |

[askagamedev]

Re: evangelist players vs. engaged players vs. those who fall off - does that not ever fall into the problem of trying to appeal to players who have no interest in sticking around and then alienating the evangelist/engaged players who loved the game for what it was? Too often I see studios try to broaden who their games appeal to, or try to capture the people who were never going to stick around in the first place, and utterly sacrifice their actual evangelists/engaged players and are left with no one who is happy with the end result.

I understand studios/the money behind the studios want to make the most possible money but we are now left with a market of video games where too many of them are all aiming to appeal to as many people as possible and thus appeal to no one. We're left with homogenous slop and for what? So many of these drop and flop, and when so many IPs and studios are forced to cater to this, the dedicated playerbase is left unhappy and alienated and they go elsewhere. Then the investors act shocked and scandalized that the studio didn't meet their "target goals" that were set to completely unrealistic standards.

You're conflating several issues.

First - evangelists are not known for good game design sense or business sense. They're known for their deep faith and love for the object of their beliefs, so much so that it drives them to preach. They tend to speculate based on their own feelings and projecting those values onto the player base at large, rather than gathering data and drawing conclusions from that. Trusting their judgement on decisions in fields they are not skilled in based on their feelings rather than collected data is unwise.

Second - all games are sinking ships. The rate at which they sink depends on a few key elements: the marketing spend to attract new and lapsed players, and a steady stream of new content to keep the new, returning, and current players. But every game is sinking because their players grow and change over time. Some finish school and get jobs, some start families, some quit to play other games, some drift apart from their friend groups and stop playing. Every game's days are numbered. This is why publishers keep pushing new ones - they need to stay afloat, and all of their current breadwinners are all sinking at various rates of decay. This means that publishers are always on the lookout for a new big winner to keep things going.

Third - We know that not all games will be successful. This has always been the case. Some of us are old enough to remember the term "shovelware" as a good example of this. The current lifestyle game status quo is a lot more sustainable than the old days, where a bad launch meant immediate layoffs and studio closures were much more commonplace.

The big takeaway here is that big failures are terrible for everybody involved, but a single big success can sustain a company for a long, long time - much longer than in the old days. Small successes don't earn as much or last as long as big ones, which is why publishers are betting big. As Charlie Munger said, "Show me the incentive and I will show you the outcome". The current situation incentivizes long-term lifestyle games, which is why we keep building them.

[Join us on Discord] and/or [Support us on Patreon]

Got a burning question you want answered?

Short questions: Ask a Game Dev on Twitter

Short questions: Ask a Game Dev on BlueSky

Long questions: Ask a Game Dev on Tumblr

Frequent Questions: The FAQ

[apod]

2024 June 2

Rotating Moon from LRO Video Credit: NASA, LRO, Arizona State U.

Explanation: No one, presently, sees the Moon rotate like this. That's because the Earth's moon is tidally locked to the Earth, showing us only one side. Given modern digital technology, however, combined with many detailed images returned by the Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter (LRO), a high resolution virtual Moon rotation movie has been composed. The featured time-lapse video starts with the standard Earth view of the Moon. Quickly, though, Mare Orientale, a large crater with a dark center that is difficult to see from the Earth, rotates into view just below the equator. From an entire lunar month condensed into 24 seconds, the video clearly shows that the Earth side of the Moon contains an abundance of dark lunar maria, while the lunar far side is dominated by bright lunar highlands. Currently, over 32 new missions to the Moon are under active development from multiple countries and companies, including NASA's Artemis program which aims to land people on the Moon again within the next few years.

∞ Source: apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap240602.html

[eleonoraalbright]

A Shared Kiss

Pairing: Roberto da Costa x fem!reader

Summary: Feeling lonely, you wander into Roberto's room to distract yourself with video games, a quick discussion of your feelings, and an even quicker make out session.

You strolled along the hallway, footsteps muffled by the rug beneath them. Xavier’s school was unusually silent. It felt as though you were the sole inhabitant of the mansion. Loneliness creeped around the corner and threatened to overtake your body to paralyze you. What was there to do except train for an upcoming mission and wait for its inevitable arrival? 

You had finished training earlier and now would remain here for who knows how long until it was time to take off and battle villains. You swayed on the spot, unsure of what there was to do, besides twiddling your thumbs. Your gaze roamed about the corridor for something to linger on and it landed on a door opposite you. An idea of how to preoccupy your time leaped into your muddled mind. 

You crossed to the door and knocked on the hardwood. A muffled, come in sounded from the other side. You swung the door open and stepped into the bedroom. In contrast to the darkened hallway, Roberto’s room was well lit. The curtains were drawn back to reveal a pleasant view of a flower garden and the basketball court. 

Roberto was sitting on the edge of his bed, eyes glued to the tv. He wore sweatpants and a black sleeveless shirt. His hair was damp as if he just finished showering. Sparing a quick glance, he greeted you. “Oh, hey.”

“Hey.” You stood there for a few seconds, hoping he would say something more. When he didn’t you said, “Would you mind if I crashed here for a while?”

He shrugged. “Go ahead.” You sat down next to him to observe the video game he was playing and asked him about it. He replied, “It’s called Balloon Fight. It’s kind of like the game Joust at the arcade, but the goal is to pop balloons. I have another controller I can hook up. Wanna play?”

Happy that he offered, you accepted his invitation. He explained the rules which were fairly easy: pop the balloons to score points, whoever scored the most, won. On the screen appeared two tiny pixelated figures in space. There were different levels to defeat. Islands floated in the black void for you to hop on to burst the levitating balloons and bubbles. 

You took great delight in popping the balloons he was aiming for and laughed when Roberto failed to do the same. He pretended to be upset, but his laughter soon joined yours. Gradually the empty pit swelling inside your stomach grew smaller and smaller in his company. As time passed, you both stopped competing and started cooperating to see how many points you could get working as a team.

The afternoon light dimmed and outside the sky turned from a soft blue to a burning orange. The shadows lengthened, showing the hours that swept by unknown to you and Roberto. When your hands began cramping you opted to just watch him as he played Caveman Games and criticized his technique of vaulting over dinosaurs.

During a rare lapse of silence, he took the opportunity to ask, “Have you been doing alright?” You were surprised at his inquiry and couldn’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t divulge too much of the frequent hollowness settling in your mind these days. He answered himself, “You’re different. You don’t talk a lot to us. You seem sad. Everything okay?”

A swirling mixture of satisfaction and embarrassment stirred in your gut that he had noticed your change in mood. How would you respond? Should you tell him the truth or brush him off and say that you’ve been tired. You chose the former. “Have you ever felt trapped here? That you’ve missed out on normal high school experiences?”

“I suppose so. It comes with the territory of being a mutant and a superhero too.”

You sighed, picking at a stray thread on the blanket. “I feel like there’s not much else besides fighting and sitting around the school for danger to arise for us to fight over and over again.” You avoided looking at Roberto, scared that he would think you foolish. You’re part of the New Mutants for heaven’s sake. 

You knew what it meant when you agreed to attend Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters. “Sure, we have homework to do and stuff, but I wish– I wish all the most I had to worry about was yucky school lunches and boyfriend troubles.” You thought about that: a boyfriend. What would that be like? What drama and complications would come from having a significant other? 

What love would sprout from such a relationship? Friends were wonderful to have, but some deeper part of you yearned to have the emotional and physical intimacy that would hopefully transpire from having a beau. Whether this desire sprang from raging teenage hormones or the human need of mutual companionship did not matter. 

“Is it shallow to want a boyfriend?” Your distress was blatant in your voice.

He shifted and your shoulders brushed. You peered at Roberto to see him regarding you with an expression that was impossible to decipher. “No, I don’t think it is.”

Relieved to hear his validation, you leaned in nearer. You weighed the wisdom of speaking aloud the comment intruding in your brain. How would he react? Would it shatter this tender, heartfelt moment? Would he withdraw in horror at the hint? Well, there was only one way to find out. You whispered, “It’s been forever since I’ve shared a kiss.”

His eyes dropped to your lips, then flickered back up to your longing stare. To your delight and dismay, he made no movement. What was he thinking at this exact second?

Would you be able to leave with your dignity still intact once he voiced his rejection? He brought his hand up to your face to trace the curve of your jaw and murmured, “Me too.”

Hope bloomed in your chest like a daffodil in spring with the accompanying butterflies fluttering in there also. You tilted your head to the right as he did but to the left. Your lips joined together in a simple kiss.

His other hand ran down your back to press you flush against him and your arms twined around his neck. This kiss was better than any before. Thrilling tingles ran down your spine, chasing away the minute amounts of trepidation left.

Roberto broke it off, a slight sigh of pleasure escaping from his mouth. You didn’t want it to end it here, and had a sneaking suspicion that neither did he. “Do you really wanna stop there?”

His pupils were dilated. His warm breath fanned your lips. He considered the question a beat before saying, “No.” He kissed you a second time. 

Passion surged you both to delve further in one another. His tongue grazed your bottom lip and entered your mouth when it opened a fraction. Your fingers combed through his dark curls, tugging on several strands in the process and he let out a soft moan at the sensation. A sense of pride washed over you, elated to have elicited such a noise from him. 

Roberto pushed you down on his bed so you laid flat on the covers with his body atop yours. One hand was braced beside your head while the other traveled to your shirt’s hem; his fingers trailed farther up your bare skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

You wanted to let out a scream of pure excitement at finding yourself in this scenario with Roberto, but didn’t, lest someone heard it through the thin walls. 

You reconciled with expressing your intense emotions by dragging your nails down his back to mirror the passion clawing inside you. His pesky shirt was getting in the way though from marking him.

He had a similar idea of marking because his lips abandoned your own to nip and suck at your neck. When that area of flesh was suitably bruised, he moved downwards to your collarbone. 

You and Roberto jumped apart when a man’s voice rang clear as a bell in both of your minds. “New Mutants, assemble in my office. Now.” You cursed at Xavier; he had the worst possible timing ever. 

You shouldn’t have dilly-dallied, but you clung to him for a couple moments longer to ask, “Can we pick this up later?”

Roberto smirked at the request and said, “Absolutely.” His thumb caressed the hickies he had made. “We’ll also have to talk about the boyfriend and girlfriend thing later.”

With that he sprung off the bed and darted out the room. You smiled after him. Perhaps, the following days wouldn’t be spent in the same monotonous cycle.

[heymeowmao]

2024.10.11 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321325088345679069341

[t/n: I swear I’m gonna skim it this time…] [t/n: his camera focus is FREAKING OUT]

1:33 LYN: It’s been a long time since I last streamed… and it seems like my equipment isn’t working properly. Something’s not syncing up. It won’t focus, so it’s all very blurry. But that’s nice, too, that you can’t see my face clearly. It’s a hazy/dreamy feel. - /testing the sound/video settings/ LYN: Is it vertical or a horizontal view still? /confirmed/ Vertical? Isn’t that high class? 🙂

3:58 LYN: (The focus) is probably because of these glasses. - takes them off and it does not fix the problem. LYN: It’s too blurry? Then next time we won’t use the vertical view. Maybe the angle with this isn’t right. It’s like everyone who’s watching has astigmatism. Even I can see/feel it. C: It’s because the carousel in the back keeps spinning. LYN: That’s the problem, huh? I’ll turn it off. It must be the carousel that’s the problem. I don’t care if it’s not, it’s going to take the blame for now. I’ll turn it off and see if it gets better. (It does not.) LYN: D: We falsely accused it. The focus has nothing to do with the carousel. This is getting annoying, though. Let me take the glasses off, too. I wanted to cover it because I don’t have any makeup today so my eyes look small. LYN: I didn’t think this would be so- It wasn’t the glasses, and it’s still not working. I didn’t plan well enough this time.

7:00 LYN: Let’s just leave it like this. You can hear me, so  have my voice keep you company. C: I can see your moles. LYN: You shut your mouth. Obviously it’s better that you can’t see clearly, because if it’s clear you can see my moles. It’s not a mole. You’re talking about here, right? (points to a spot on his face) I can’t believe you can see that. Can you see the hair growing on it, too? LYN: It’s not a mole/birthmark. You want to know what it is- /puts his glasses back on/ Let me cover it. The other day I went to get cosmetic surgery. I had lapse in judgement and did a procedure called “photorejuvenation (光子嫩肤).” I was thinking I could get my skin looking shiny and smooth, so I look younger. What an interesting procedure. While I was sitting there during the process I could smell something like burning pig hair. It hurt just a little. They use lasers to burn your skin a little. I’m sure my face was a little rougher to begin with so the technician grilled me a little longer. They ended up thoroughly cooking me and I… got a little burnt.

9:40 - tries to find a fixed position so that the camera will stay in focus. (it doesn’t work.) C: Your new equipment is no good. - Daimi starts barking up a storm LYN: See? Can you hear that? Your words have upset our female celebrity. She’s saying, “What are you talking about? Such nonsense?? What do you mean the equipment is no good?!” LYN: It was quite expensive for this, and now you’re telling me, “You’re new equipment is no good.” I can see the face your making through the screen. It’s not “no good”, I just haven’t adjusted it well enough. I thought I had it set, but it turns out this is much more of a headache than I thought. We’ll leave it. It doesn’t matter. C: Ning-ge, buy SONY. LYN: You’re here to advertise?? Are you from SONY, and have come to advertise your products? // I mean, I CAN but what would I do with the cameras that I already have? What am I going to do with them? My stream- oh my god… -/gets blurrier/ LYN: I’M gonna throw up. LYN: Let me take the glasses off, I think it’s better that way. It’s not the camera- there’s a reason why it won’t focus, that I just haven’t told you about. This camera is set to adjust according to a person’s eyes. It focuses based on your eyes. If I say it like that, do you understand what I’m implying? Are there any fast-thinking friends out there who understand what I’m trying to say here? Yeah. This camera auto- focuses based on where a person’s eyes are. Mm. What a piece of crap! - [t/n: his eyes are too small for the camera to focus on XD]

13:20 LYN: If it comes down to it, I CAN buy a different lens. I bought a new one just a few days ago, though. I was thinking about my stream and how I haven’t streamed for so long, so I wanted to give you a fresh new look. I went online and started looking for lenses using the search term: “what lens makes people look good?” There were all sorts of specifications. I ended up buying one with a summit angle? I don’t know- there might be people watching who know a lot more about this than I do. It’s said that people look best when shot at a 45°-85° degree angle. So I was thinking I would go hard and get one at an 85° angle. Because I don’t understand how it works, right? If they say people look good at 45-85°, then I’m thinking the one that will make me look the best is 85°. - in summary: it’s like a magnifying glass. the camera ended up only showing his nose, he never figured out how to adjust it. He wanted to return it, but the seller would not accept the return because the lens was already scratched from affixing it onto the camera. So he still has the lens and will probably try to raffle it off during a birthday stream. Or give it to his Studio so that they can make use of it.

18:55 C: Ning-ge, will you still enter a drama crew later this year? LYN: I’ve talked to you about this before. This industry is pretty cruel, and I don’t have any resources- even though people always say that I do. I WISH I did. But I don’t have resources, so I don’t have any work. I probably won’t be in another drama crew for the rest of the year. I’ve come back to being a Singer.

19:38 LYN: I was scrolling weibo and came across a post that read, “LYN’s new drama starts shooting.” I saw it and was dumbfounded. I thought to myself, “When did this happen? Who accepted a drama on my behalf?” Let me peacefully ‘pick my feet’ (idle). What drama do you want me in?? Let me rest. How’s this. If you see anyone making posts like that, make a comment saying, “Ning-ge wants you to contact his Studio. He wants to know what job this is. He wants to take it.” 

20:37 LYN: The thing is- you all know- I’ve been in Hengdian for the past four years, continuously shooting for dramas. I haven’t stopped. Even when I was acting as supporting characters, or made special appearances, I would still be part of that crew for four-five months. Even if it’s only 100-200 scenes, I would be there the whole time. I haven’t left Hengdian at all in the past four years. Think about it. You all know my schedule- I’ve been here for four years, it’s about time that I wanted to take a break and rest my mind. Because if you’re constantly filming you start to feel… numb. So I thought I would come back to being a singer, and release some songs, do some much-needed work on my album, and go on some music-varieties to come back into my singer-environment. LYN: Some of my friends are working hard right now. My return as a singer has them running haggard. Today it’s this stage and tomorrow it’s that song. The day after is an OST, and today is a livestream. I’ve got them running around so much I’m sure that they’re thinking, “LYN, why don’t you just go back to acting? Go back to shooting dramas. I’m dead tired.” Thank you, and you’ve worked hard.

22:50 C: Ning-ge, why don’t you put 这蔚蓝 (Azure) onto your album? LYN: It IS my song. It might not be on my album, but it’s already my song. It’s mine, so there’s not much meaning in putting onto my album. With my album I always want to bring you new songs.

24:17 - polling the group: (disregarding the focus) do you like vertical or horizontal view better? Consensus: both are good! (but he’ll buy a better lens for a vertical shot next time.)

25:50 C: You’re not in a drama crew, but you’re even busier. LYN: It’s actually not that bad for me. You’re the ones that are busier. // As a singer there are various music-related things, including stage performances. The stages I couldn’t go to before- because I was always in the crew and couldn’t ask for time away. But now I have time so if there are any events that invite me, I can go. If any varieties ask me if I could go help out- I mean- play, then I’ll go. I’ve returned to being a singer, and it’s nice. // I’ll attend some events so I can go see celebrities and take pictures with them.

28:00 LYN: I hope that no matter what drama airs- whether I have a little or a lot of scenes, or whatever the role may be, I hope that you can still watch the drama. Secondly, I hope that you can help maintain the drama and promote it in a positive direction. I hope that you can support it. Because in order to shoot one drama, I have to work for four months. The work may be difficult and tiring, but that’s normal. It’s really more of a painstaking effort on all parts. It’s every team’s effort. A drama’s success is not due to one or two people alone- it’s all the people who woke up early and stayed up late to help make it happen. So if you’re willing, please support the drama. LYN: It’s the same for every drama, but at the same time as one drama is airing, there are also countless of others. Honestly, we’re all competing for the same viewership and hoping to be your preference. I hope my fans can help to promote my dramas and support them. I don’t want you to get caught up in the rumors and ultimately bring harm to- I won’t call myself your “Ning-ge”, but- your friend’s work. 

30:57 - “It’s my fault. My eyes are too small.” - /troubleshooting the camera some more/

33:10 LYN: Is it better? Did it get better, friends? I don’t think it did- it still looks the same. 😐It’s BETTER, sometimes clear and sometimes blurry, but at least it’s not making anyone dizzy. C: Ning-ge, turn on the big eyes filter. LYN: What are you talking about? The camera doesn’t recognize me, so you want me to use the big eyes filter to help it? Are you crazy?? The problem with that is the camera is looking at me in real life, it’s not looking at the me THROUGH the lens with an added filter. What type of logic is that?? 34:53 LYN: Excuse me- you’ve touched on a nerve. My eyes are the wound that cannot be touched. - /reminds him of a song/

35:55 C: Ning-ge, those glasses make you look old. LYN: Someone earlier said that I looked like I attend NTU (Nantong University- one of China’s best and top-rated Public universities.) I know they were kidding, but I was a little cheerful when I heard it. Friends, even though I myself am well aware that I’m old, hearing that compliment made me feel a sliver of cheerfulness in my heart. When you go outside and see someone clearly older than you- you must say that they look young. Then, whatever path you are taking will go smoothly. I used to work in a clothing shop- if an older lady entered the shop, I would always call them “jie.” At that time, I thought if I used one of three phrases: This makes you look thin/pale/young, then I would have a 60% successful buy rate. So even if they know you're telling a lie, if it makes the other person happy then they’re more likely to spend their money. XD

37:51 C: Why isn’t anyone commenting? LYN: You’re lagging. Why don’t you find someplace to connect to wifi? The screen is full of comments. LYN: You’re not in another stream, are you? Are you in another space/dimension? Are you watching my stream from a parallel universe? My stream is full of people but you can’t see any of them. You’re in a parallel universe. - /Daimi barking/ LYN: /to Daimi/ Be quiet! Shush.

38:40 C: Lao-da, I learned how to ride a horse. LYN: Congrats! But let me give you some advice. I always keep in mind this saying: “stubborn mouths will be beaten to death, and good swimmers can drown.” (one should be cautious and not boastful) It’s something my grandparents taught me. I won’t explain the first half, but the second- for someone like me who’s afraid of water and can’t swim- I will stay far away from rivers, lakes, and seas. If someone says, “Let’s go play in the water!” I will never go. So it’ll be difficult for me to drown. LYN: You said you know how to ride now. I shot a drama before, and they asked the actors, “Who knows how to ride already?” and I told them I didn’t know how. But they replied, “Huh? I thought I saw a video before- weren’t you riding very fluently?” I told them, “I don’t know how to ride, really. I was just going into it blind.” But there was a kid by me, who said that he knew how to ride very well and had been doing it since young. He fell from his horse. LYN: So- in regard to horseback riding, the reason why I am still afraid is because I am wary of each horse I meet. You have to keep your distance from these animals, because in the end it’s not YOUR horse. For example, if you go out and you see a dog. Would you just walk right up to it and pet it? You don’t know if it bites. It’s the same logic with a horse. It may be very happy to have been fed a carrot, but the next moment it can think you look like a carrot and want to eat you. So, you have to be cautious. Even if you think you know how to ride one now, you still have to be careful. Ride slowly. Safety is your priority. Ok?

42:08 - /reiterates that it’s useless to ask him about updates (air dates) on his dramas/ - TXJ was about to drop before he even recorded the OST for it, so he had to record it in a hurry. - Pretty much will record an OST for almost every drama he’s in.

43:44 - Comment asking him if he’s had any cosmetic surgery done LYN: I’ve asked the doctors before and they’ve just shaken their heads. “There’s no helping you.” XD C: Just slightly. LYN: Slightly WHERE? You need to tell me where I need to get the work done. I don’t really do much anyway- the only part I need to improve is my skin. I think the biggest problem on my face is that my eyes are small. The camera already told me, “Your eyes are too small, I can’t autofocus.” But if I get my eyes done, I feel like I’ll look like a whole different person so I just let it go. Everywhere else is… pretty acceptable. :) I have a nose, I have a mouth- they’re decent. I can’t say they look nice, but they’re acceptable. LYN: I remember there was some board that ranked artists based on their features alone. I had nose and mouth, but I didn’t have eyes. But among all those features, I was up in the ranks. Not first, but still high up. When the results were announced and they saw it was me they were dumbfounded. But I didn’t see the results in the eyes ranking, and I don’t want to know.

46:57 C: Is there still hope for a concert this year? LYN: Probably not. I asked the company I collaborate with the other day and they told me that I probably won’t be able to hold my concert this year because there are no venues. After I’m finished with my current business, I’ll start working on the plans for my concert. It’s time, and I SHOULD have one. I still owe you a stop from last time, too. I’ve owed you Wuhan for four years. My fans are really faithful, too- none of them have returned their ticket. They bought a ticket for a concert four years ago they never got to see, but still have not asked for a refund. LYN: But- I was lying in bed thinking about this- I’m sure that there are a bunch of people who bought tickets for that stop who have since stopped being my fan. More or less, I’m sure people have stopped being a fan. For example, if I had 8k sold out tickets at the time, I don’t believe that there wasn’t any loss among all 8k of you. There is no such probability. // It’s been four years since they bought the ticket and I’m sure that with all the amazing people debuting every year they’ve long since stopped being my fan. They could have gotten married and had children, and have stopped chasing stars. They could have started doing something else entirely. That’s all normal and expected. But the thing is- they never returned the ticket. They might be using this last ticket as… a show of decency towards me. That’s what I think, at least. I don’t know if they really feel that way, though. LYN: Friends- there’s another possibility. /setting up the bgm/ Another possibility for why it’s been four years but they have not returned the ticket, is because… they forgot. They forgot their account log in, or they forgot where they put the ticket. So... even now, they have not been returned. It’s possible that not only have they forgotten the ticket, they have also already forgotten me. That’s fine, then. Let us separate in this jianghu and bid one another well. Let us maintain this last bit of… decency. C: I’m gonna cry! C: Ning-ge, what if they watch this stream and then remember, and return the ticket? LYN: /laughs/ /stops/ They wouldn’t, right?! I just reminded them??

51:55 LYN: It’s possible that I’ll hold my concert next year. I remember someone earlier said, “Ning-ge, I’ll study well and when I get a scholarship I’ll come to see you.” Actually, you don’t need to do that. If you’ve won a scholarship, you can buy something for yourself, or your family members. You can use it to make your daily life that much more livable. Later when you’ve graduated and found a job, and have the ability to make money of your own- you can come to watch my concert then. You don’t need to rush. I can wait for you. LYN: But- it’s going to happen next year, so you can start filling your piggy banks with money. I think it’s quite fun. The first concert I watched- other than my own- was… Mao Buyi’s or Mayday? I forgot the order. Was it MBY? It must have been MBY first, then Mayday second. Last time, I was also a special guest for Zhang Bichen’s concert. After I went to her concert, I wanted to have my own. I just think that of having people line up and wait to enter the venue… when I saw that image I was touched. All these people have come for a singer that they like, like a big gathering. And a concert is a lot different than seeing people perform on a regular stage. I’ve been to all sorts of stages, and when you’re on stage singing, you sort of get the feeling like you’re just a performer. You’re only just a singer. I don’t know if describing it that way is the best. But at your own concert, around 70-80% of the people there are there for YOU. Even if you’re on stage and you tell a joke that’s maybe not very funny- everyone in the audience will still have fun. They’ll indulge you. LYN: They’ll be excited. I saw clip from someone else’s concert- for example, if they hate this artist’s company. The artist was thanking their company, and the audience members were shouting “Go out of business!” Or: Artist: “Thank you Sina Weibo.” Audience: THANK YOU!” LYN: They’re really enjoying it. I just think that having all these people here for you, to share your feelings and to be influenced by you- that sort of passion is something I really enjoy. LYN: That “Go out of business!” was louder than anything else. It was amusing. As a viewer myself, I could feel that the whole mood was really “high”. Very interesting.

57:30 C: Lao-da, you’re thinner. LYN: When I was an actor, I would think of scenarios on how to respond to you. But now as a singer whenever you say something to me, I can only think of one song: “Brother, you’ve gotten thinner. You look exhausted.” (lyrics to 兄弟抱一下) But really, I’ve not gotten thinner. I’m still the same, because I’ve been trying more or less to maintain this weight.

59:00 - /he’s trending, so he (and Daimi) thank the fans/

1:00:00 C: Ning-ge, for your concert, can you be your own organizer? LYN: You sure have some wild ambition. This is like going into a restaurant to eat hotpot, then coming out of it wanting to make your own hotpot shop. It’s like eating a dish and saying, “I can cook this, too!” If you walk into a clothing shop, you’d say, “I can make this, too!” If you buy a bag, you’ll say, “I can sew this, too.” There are things that you can’t do. If you see someone act in a drama, you’d say, “I can shoot that drama, too!” What I’m trying to get at is that there are professionals for a reason. Things aren’t as easy as you may think. LYN: I know someone has done it before, though. But even though I’m not the organizer I still have the authority to make decisions, because this is MY concert. I tell them how I want it to go and a whole team helps to make it happen. // It’s not like before, when I was singing by the side of the road. All I needed then was a laptop, two instrumentalists, and two boxes. - at least 10 stops, if not more

1:02:53 C: Lao-da, are your headphones on the wrong way? LYN: Are they? Whatever. But it’s written here- Left-Right. This is right (pointing at “L”). Oh? This is right?!? In the mirror image, this is “R”, so it’s on my right side. They’re flipped.

1:04:32 C: Where’s your hat? LYN: What do you mean?? Does my hair look bad today? Friends- you can monitor me- I used to not care about how I looked, but these days I’ve been taking special care about it. Today’s look is all about the “foolish boy at the village entrance.” There’s a character here. I’m not only a singer and an actor, but on normal days I also give myself a character. Today I am the foolish boy at the village entrance. The type whose family has a lot of land and money, but the child is not too bright. That’s me. - C: Lao-da, will you invite Zhang Bichen to your concert? LYN: I don’t know. I’ll have to see if she has time. If she does, then she’ll come. If she doesn’t, then forget it. We’ll see. - C: This type of person is just lacking the drool. LYN: What do you mean? Let me tell you- I can put this online and have you morally kidnapped. What- are you looking down on people whose intelligence is not very high? - C: Invite Xiao Qi-ge. (Ren Xianqi) LYN: We’ll see when the time comes. I probably will invite him, though. Honestly… I had invited him to the Wuhan stop, last time. We had just finished with WMDG and I invited him and he very nicely agreed to come. But… then it couldn’t happen. I will definitely invite him when I finally get this going. We even had the song picked out! We were going to sing 后来.

1:09:25 LYN: I’ve discovered that people really care about my face. Maybe it’s because I’ve been showing up a lot lately. Someone asked if I went to get double-eyelid surgery. My eyes have not changed- neither bigger nor smaller- so what would be the point if I HAD gotten the surgery?? Merely to add another wound? I haven’t gotten anything done. And ALSO- no one gets them cut anymore. I can tell you’re not in the business. Everyone nowadays does “mai xian” (bury thread). If you don’t like it you can take it out and redo it. If you want it this thick /measures with his fingers/ you can do that. Later when it’s not trendy anymore you can take that out and change it. Who uses knives, nowadays??

1:11:10 C: Can you play 阿楚姑娘 (A-Chu Guniang) next?  LYN: I can do that. Maybe I can do a reaction. That was fun. Hold on- let me see if I can make it happen. I don’t know if it will go on a vertical screen, but horizontal is usually fine. I can! LYN: This song is called 阿楚姑娘- I remember a long time ago that- no, forget it. I shouldn’t say. This ep was livestreamed, and I really like it because 1. it’s fun (you’ll feel nervous and excited), and 2. it’s fast. You just record the song then leave. LYN: I was really nervous singing this song. A lot of you may know that the hardest part of a male-female duet is the decision of key, because our ranges are different. Especially with Shila-laoshi. She’s amazing- her high notes are awesome and her technique is strong. But me? I can’t do high notes. I’m a mid-tone through and through. So it was difficult for us to pick a key. The first note especially- since we started in the female key- was hard to find. I look relaxed- with my eyes closed- but in reality I was listening for the beat. I was super nervous. It was a livestream, so if you sang badly it would be out there. The internet would give you an instant reaction. 1:16:42 LYN: That day- honestly speaking, I am not a very technical singer. There are singers with good technique, but I am not one of them. My technique is not very strong. I don’t even know what my strong points are. In any case, even though I do not use techniques I think my singing that day was pretty good. Of course, there were mistakes- there’s no way there are zero mistakes. Shila-laoshi had none, though. :) I was talking about myself. There are bound to be mistakes made, on my part. That section just now was okay though. - /comments on where he made a mistake/didn’t execute a note well/ LYN: Okay, that’s enough. “Emotional/Sensitive Boy” is done. I just thought that I hadn’t done as well as I had during rehearsals. It’s okay though- for a livestream, it’s enough to just make it through the song. 

1:19:55 - starts pointing out all the things that went wrong with 一路上有你 (You and Me On the Road) LYN: It’s not a difficult song, but- let me tell you about it. She (Ms.OOJA) sang very well- stable, in tune, and with technique. The tone of her voice is very nice. /pauses where he comes in/ Very low. I remember very clearly that the first time we rehearsed for this song, I couldn’t find the right key, which ate at me. It’s so LOW! I was dazed when I first heard it. Later I thought about it some more and was able to execute.

1:25:50 - doesn’t play 赤裸裸 bc there was a problem with the sound receiving. The fancam is fine, but on the broadcast version there’s a sound delay.

1:26:40 C: Do 这蔚蓝 (Azure). LYN: Nah. // It was a hard song. I won’t do a reaction, though. If it were me in the past I would, but now… I don’t dare to say anything. When I used to say things, it was as a joke or or entertainment. But now if you say one wrong thing and cross someone, it can become a huge problem. C: Ning-ge, then tell us secretly. LYN: Is this what you mean? If I say it in a small voice, then people won’t know- is that it? LYN: It’s nothing. I can do a reaction to it, I just don’t have any particularly strong impression. It’s normal. I liked it. Why don’t we do it? For fun. LYN: This song is difficult- to me. The key is a little high for me, then I use falsetto, then I have to come back and continue. It’s difficult for me to sing- I was under a lot of pressure. I look like I’m feeling the song but really I’m very nervous. You think the frown on my face is because my heart is full of melancholy, but it’s actually full of nerves. // When I close my eyes, I’m actually looking to the feeling. I have to separate myself from the world, leaving only me and the music. I have to close my eyes so I don’t see the masses of other people’s fans in the audience. I don’t want to see them picking their fingers- it’ll affect my performance. So I close my eyes to block out the rest of the world. But here comes the headache: when you close your eyes, you can no longer see the lyrics on the prompter. So I still have to open my eyes. - /narrates how he’s feeling/what he’s thinking during the rest of the song/ LYN: When I’m streaming, just listen to what I’m saying for entertainment. Please don’t take it seriously.

1:33:20 - /reaction to 你敢吗 (Do You Dare?)/ LYN: I wasn’t as nervous for this song, because it’s more or less in my comfort zone. LYN: When people are singing you have to do it with feeling. What you want to express with this type of song is the feeling. You have to enter a state of mind. If you sing it normally, It’d be like this: /soulless singing/. But for this song you have to enter a state of mind; when you’re singing, you’re actually brainwashing yourself. Deceive yourself. - /at the buildup/ LYN: Actually, I didn’t prepare well for this part. You didn’t hear it, did you? This part was too loose. In the previous part I wanted to find that loose feeling- it’s different from relaxed- that feeling that you’re really into the music and the emotion- the weariness towards life, that yearning/searching for light, that painstaking process. But for this line- I was too carefree in the previous part and the next thing I knew- the next line up was so long! I wasn’t prepared but I still took a secret breath. But at the end of the line I didn’t have enough breath left. Listen- // I didn’t have breath here, but with my years of stage experience, I timed my breath with the pause well enough that you couldn’t hear that there was a break. - /stops trying to explain himself, because he’s not “professional”/ LYN: To anyone watching my stream who has a profession in music- these are just my immature thoughts- I am not a professional/I am not learned in music. I learned how to cook. All of my understanding of music is just from years of personal experience, so I hope the professional musicians out there can… not pick on me. // Also- I am only commenting/judging myself.

1:40:58 --- Break #1

1:46:45 C: My dad says that you are a “kid with positive energy” LYN: Thank you, uncle. I AM a kid with positive energy. You’re right. C: My mom says you LOOK very positive energy. LYN: /laughs/ That sounds… complicated. I don’t know how to respond to that. What do you mean I LOOK very positive energy? What does that look like?

1:48:09 LYN: I came on tonight because it’s been a long time since I last streamed and I wanted to chat with you. If there’s anything you want to chat with me about, you can let me know. I’ve been on a lot of stages and everything lately- and even did some reaction video. When I get the chance I want to react to regular variety shows, too. It’s content, and I can watch a show with everyone. We can comment on celebrities and make snide remarks about LYN, etc. 1:48:57 C: Ning-ge, have you been on a travel variety? LYN: Hey, now that you mention it! If there’s an opportunity, I would go. 

1:49:14 C: Ge, can you buy a phone case for me? LYN: I can’t do that. For anyone who comes into my stream and starts wanting stuff from me- you can leave. Who asks for a prize for watching a stream? This reminds me of years ago when I was singing on the street. - /describes how some local shops would commission the Modern Bros to promote their shop/hand out items for them. People weren’t there to listen to him sing, they were there to collect the free things he was passing out./ LYN: As long as I held on to the items with one hand and the mic in the other, they couldn’t leave. (in the break between verses, he would hand them out again). C: Why does that sound so sad? LYN: I don’t think there’s anything sad about it. That’s just life. It was the normal life of a young man who wanted to pursue music. Sometimes- I’m not trying to complain- /stops playing Westlife bc it makes it sound pitying/ I’m willing to share this with you. I’m thankful for the experiences I went through. Including singing on the street, grilling corn, being a waiter, being an attendant in the bath house, selling clothes, and even starting my own stall. I think these are all good experiences. To the me now, they were good experiences. I’m sure that there are people out there now, who are going through what I did. These experiences were good for me because they let me see all sorts of things- human nature and how to make a living. These things gave me experience and motivation. Whether for my acting or singing, these experiences are of a great help. LYN: I don’t think it’s sad, because my situation has turned for the better now.

1:54:52 - 寻岸 (Search For Shore) [Dark Night and Dawn OST] LYN: Because I was working on my album, I had collected a bunch of demos and I quite liked this song. But I didn’t choose it at the time because I didn’t want my album to sound too depressing. I liked it, but not enough to put it on my album, but at the same time I REALLY liked it. I was conflicted. So of the two songs I had, I picked the other one to put onto my album, and let this one go. Later a drama reached out to me, asking me to sing the OST- and it was this song! What a coincidence! // Originally, I would have spent money to make my album, but with this job I’m actually making money! What a happy coincidence. So I gladly sang this OST for them. C: It was meant to be yours. LYN: Yes. You get that feeling sometimes, once you hear it you’ll think “this sounds like mine.” - /shows off his new filters/ - /broke his camera’s focus again X’D/

2:02:23 C: This is too funny. My cheeks hurt. LYN: Such an amazing performance and you think it was funny?? What artists’ stream does this to them? Is there ANY normal artist out there who does this? You think it’s funny? Shouldn’t you be thinking that it’s amazing?? Isn’t this too wonderful??? Shouldn’t you be clapping for me??!! LYN: Your words are making me think that I am just a clown. C: You’re not a clown, you’re handsome (xiao shuai). LYN: /meme/ Pay attention, this man is called “xiao shuai”-

2:03:58 C: Ning-ge, that line “Woman, you’re playing with fire”- did you add that in yourself? LYN: You saw the ZLYM trailer and are now asking me if I added that line in? I don’t dare to respond! People are going to start saying that I added scenes for myself. I can’t take more of that. LYN: Now when I’m acting, sometimes I can have an improvised response, but I don’t dare to say them out loud. I don’t want someone to grab the script later and say, “That line wasn’t in there. LYN, you’re adding scenes for yourself now?? You must have resources backing you, and that’s why you have the gall to add your own scenes.” It’s a trauma for me now. LYN: But I did actually add that line. You might think it’s unreasonable or incongruous now, but when you’re watching the drama you’ll see that it fits.

2:06:00 LYN: I’m joking. I’m not adding scenes, but- I don’t know when it started that you have to follow the script strictly. When actors are on the scene, all of us will improvise sometimes. There’s no way we can stick to the script 100%. Actors have their own understanding and expression, and are able to play with improv. A lot of drama interactions are not scripted- but based off our interactions with each other; they’re all created with director’s input, though. I was joking when I said that I don’t dare to add scenes for myself, because actually it has nothing to do with that. As long as I act my own role well, I don’t care about much else. Because it’s not something I can influence either way. The only thing I can do is play my own part, and if I have any ideas I will bring it up with the director. After getting permission, then I actually express them. All of my ideas are to better fulfill my role. As an actor, you need to find ways for the audience to remember you. // I don’t want to talk about this in too much detail, because I don’t understand it (not learned). It’s just things that I have observed after these many years of filming. - /talks about a time a director wanted him to act- “There are no lines for this scenes. Just sit here. You’re drinking. You can chat about whatever you want to.” and how the last time he felt like this was with SYXSSYX when Li Muge (director) wanted him to act a scene three different ways. You have to use your understanding of the character to act instinctually./ - /thinks this is fun for lesser known actors, though. he prefers that the director or acting partner allows space for creativity and improv., because he has a quicker reaction time and his automatic responses can be fun and more accurate/real than what’s scripted./

2:10:40 LYN: Friends, have you noticed that there are rules for awards ceremonies, now? They don’t want you to say “fans”, you have to say “song appreciators.”

2:12:00 C: Why is there a scar on your chest? LYN: How do you know there’s a scar on my chest?? Were you the doctor that gave me my physical? LYN: Oh, I know- that time I took a pic with Shila and my collar was a little wide, so you saw a spot on my chest. Well, since you already know about it I might as well tell you. Many of you have discovered that there is a so-called “scar” on my chest. The truth is- this is a long story. I’ll make it short. Some people think it’s a birthmark, but it’s not. /exaggerating/ I really don’t want to recall this experience, it hurts too much. Birthmark… Someone else’s pain comes out of your mouth as just a simple “birthmark.” That’s so shallow! This event happened about a month ago. I woke up one day and I don’t know why, but I really wanted to eat hotpot. - /tldr; he ended up getting a blister (?)  that wouldn’t go away and has now reduced to a dark colored spot/ 2:17:58 - /discussing the position of the blister(?), and why it grew on his chest when usually they appear on the butt./ - (in summary) LYN: Are we really going to go there? Or should we discuss- from a medical understanding/perspective? And if we really do discuss this, would it affect my market value? 2:19:55 - /afraid that there are new fans who have come into the stream because he looks like an interesting person in interviews and during his dramas, but they listen to the stream and find him talking about weird medical stuff instead./ C: Then you’ll have gained a fan because of it. LYN: You must be sick! You have nothing else to be a fan of, so you become a fan of a blister?? - /confesses that though he found it disgusting at first, he got addicted to watching ear-cleaning videos… and blackhead plucking videos. >.> As well as carpet cleaning, and restoration videos (slightly more normal territory)./ - doesn’t watch ocean-catching, because he grew up by a river and has done it himself. - will watch hoof trimming videos, but not human callous removal ones - not interested in watching mukbangs.

2:25:25 - actually, wants to be a content creator. if you do it right, you can make a lot of money. C: You can be the type that roasts people/things. LYN: I was roasted myself not too long ago… They get really high views, though. MY highest viewed video doesn’t even reach the highest view count from a video roasting me. It doesn’t really have to be very professional, either- the video’s can look this like: /pulls up some filters/ “Where does LYN find the courage to shoot historical dramas? How is he even qualified to work opposite these actors??” LYN: I was disappointed with the app, so I barely even open it anymore. 2:27:30 LYN: But something fun is that I used to watch those reaction videos, of people’s complaints about dramas/the actors. “This script is unreasonable” or “this actor didn’t do a good job”- I would watch those videos secretly. I didn’t dare to watch them out in the open. I was afraid my friends would find out and break ties with me. Sometimes when I watched videos of them roasting my friends, I would be watching seriously. Not to make fun of them (!); because I understand my friends. But who would have thought that starting last year the main star in these videos would become myself. It’s an interesting feeling. LYN: There were some uploaders, whose videos I would watch according to their upload schedule. That week I continuously kept seeing myself. In a fit, I blocked them all. I had even given them money before! GIVE IT BACK TO ME!! // I started on this app to find happiness. I have a membership! I PAID for this?! LYN: I’m joking. Please don’t take it seriously. Honestly, most of these creators rely on ad revenue to make money. Yet others can be bought and commissioned to make controversial videos. I found about this fairly recently. One of my friend’s drama was airing, and it was being terribly ridiculed. The company thought they could contact some creators and pay them to create more positive videos of the drama. These creators have some morals, and said that they would only accept a fraction of the pay. Because they had already accepted money to create the negative videos in the first place, they would not accept money to now create a positive video which would essentially slap themselves in the face. In the end there weren’t any creators who made more positive videos of the drama later. LYN: It’s interesting and there was a time I thought it would be fun if I was also in that line of business. At the very least, there are people with morality who follow the rules. If you accept one side’s money, you do not accept the opposing side’s as well. Unlike some paparazzi, who sell a set of photos to a fan then later sell the same photos to another one. There’s no morality in that.

2:32:15 C: Ning-ge, how is the album coming along? LYN: It’s the same as it has been. That is- it’s almost finished. Very soon! It’s always the two words, “very soon”! I’m working on it. I’ve been on a music variety program lately- as you all know- if you watch you can tell that picking a song in this industry is a difficult thing to do. The songwriters who were even able to be ON the show are already very amazing. They’re already known in the industry. I’ve worked with most of them before, and will ask them for songs. When they send something over, it doesn’t mean that the song isn’t good, just that the song doesn’t suit me. I still have to release songs that I like, after all. You can’t just tell me to record and release a song that I don’t even like. It’s hard for me to find one that I like, and when I do I’ll keep it and sing it. C: What are you recording? LYN: Songs from my album- some that I’ve collaborated with others on, and OSTs mostly. C: How many songs are you still lacking? LYN: Two. I recorded one, but still need two more. I asked a friend the other day for a song and I’m considering it. I’m hesitating. But it’s no problem. It’ll be quick. LYN: You all still have songs to listen to, right? I’ve been releasing OSTs. For all the dramas that will be airing in the near future- I’ve pretty much sung an OST for all of them. That includes ZLYM, and also.. I think Fangs of Fortune is airing? I don’t know anything officially- I just know what I see on the internet. I also get my news from yxh accounts. I find out when my own dramas are airing from yxh, too. C: When is ZLYM airing? LYN: I don’t remember. Why don’t you go look it up? I don’t know, either- I also find out through yxh.

2:25:20 - replies to a comment on cutting his hair- it’s “to make me look younger” - won’t stream for too long, just wants to chat and test his new equipment; mentions he should either adjust the settings or find different equipment for the stream. LYN: I used the search term: “lighting and equipment for a visual male streamer” /laughs/. I’m joking. I just looked up “(livestream) equipment” but there was an article for tips on lighting for a male streamer, so I clicked in to secretly learn. Then I bought a bunch of lights and stuff. But now I’m realizing it doesn’t really work. C: Ning-ge, there are people who can adjust the settings for you. LYN: Me? If they adjust my settings for me- wouldn’t they recognize me?? Or you want me to wear a mask- the Spiderman mask- for them to adjust to that they won’t recognize me? But that would defeat the purpose of an adjustment. C: Turn on a filter. LYN: What’s the point, then?? - /likens it to when you’re on stage and the sound technicians want to adjust your mic and sound settings, but instead of speaking normally, you’re quacking like a duck./

2:39:16 C: I really like the drama with you and Tao-jie, Be Your Own Light. LYN: Thank you. I didn’t have very many scenes, but I did enjoy shooting them. I gained a lot from that drama. It was my first proper modern drama. Shooting with all the laoshi you can really learn a lot! Tao-jie took good care of me, and we get along well. That’s why during the promotions and livestream we were able to make jokes with each other. C: Will you accept scripts for modern dramas? LYN: Of course. But for right now I want to come back to being a singer. My own thinking is that as soon as two more of my dramas start airing, I will start with acting again. Right now is a good time for me to come back to being a singer, because I still have a lot of my “song appreciators” out there.  C: What will your next drama be? LYN: I have accepted any yet! I have scripts but I haven’t looked through them. I’ll leave it for now, and look at the scripts when I have some time. If there are any suitable dramas for me among them, then I’ll start making arrangements. I want to be a singer now, though. I want to work on being a streamer, too. I want to be able to sing when I have time, act, and also stream a little on the side.

2:42:20 C: Ning-ge, you’re dazzling when you’re on the stage. LYN: You mean that now I’m just average? I’m not very shiny right now? What about if I turn on a filter? Do I look a little brilliant now? - /playing with filters/ - Fall in Love - /ends up with a… “soaking in water” filter, LOL/

2:47:40 -- break #2

2:53:35 LYN: I just remembered I bought something that I haven’t shown off to you yet. Hold on a second… - /comes back with a zootopia nick wilde hat on/ 2:55:53 LYN: Hello, children! // Oh, my goodness! What are you doing? LYN: I had bought the bunny hat, and this one. The last time I went to Disney, I didn’t buy them. I cant remember if they were out of stock, or what. But I went again this time so I bought them. - /chatting about having fun and relaxing at the park/ C: You must have been tired from taking photos with everyone. LYN: That part was okay. I was more worried about blocking the foot-traffic and affecting other people’s time in the park. I’m not saying I’m a big celebrity or anything- the fact that people want to take pictures with me means that at least they think I’m worthy of it. If you want to take a picture with me, that’s no problem. The thing is though, no matter how big of a celebrity you are, inside the park there’s no way you’ll be more popular than Minnie Mouse. Can you be as popular as Donald Duck? Right? So I didn’t want to make myself out like some hotshot celebrity, and make a ruckus while taking photos with people in the park. You SHOULD be taking photos with LinaBell. Who am I?? LYN: Since you wanted to, I took some photos. But for the most part I just wanted to walk around. You kept coming in waves, and honestly that did make me want to run away. That’s why I ended up not having as much fun, so I left. C: You didn’t have fun? LYN: It has nothing to do with “fun.” I mean- there’s really not much to do after you’ve been on the rides once. Mainly I go just to walk around and be surrounded by the happy and excited atmosphere. I’m there the relax, not to have fun. Something simple like walking around and eating a popsicle made me happy. C: Ning-ge, next time go secretly. LYN: Did I announce it to anyone this time around or something?? Did I post a weibo to someone, saying that I was going? I didn’t.

3:01:00 - /talks about the Wuhan concert stop. He’ll prob do two stops- one for the show he owes (2019), and one for the new tour./ LYN: I discussed this earlier, didn’t I? All the tickets for that stop had sold, but by now I’m sure that many of those people have stopped being my fan or forgotten. This time when I hold the stop I owe, all the tickets will be sold out but there will only be 100 people in the audience. X’D That’d be pretty funny, actually. C: Ning-ge, can I get in without a ticket? LYN: I don’t know what you mean. Are you trying to play the pity card with me? “Ning-ge, I’m a student. I don’t have a ticket, but can I watch your concert?” You’re like those customers who try to haggle down something that’s being sold for $5k down to $500 because “I’m a student”. I don’t know if that’s doable. Usually when I watch a concert, I have to show a ticket. How about this- why don’t you go to the entrance and try it? Tell the office that you don’t have a ticket but you want to watch the concert, so will they let you in? I’m not watching the doors, so you’ll have to ask one of the employees. I don’t really know. C: I’ll be watching the front door- can I go watch? LYN: You mean that you’re the person checking the tickets? But if you come in to watch the concert, who will be watching the doors?! With no one watching the doors, ANYONE can come in.

3:04:30 C: It’s okay, I still have some hair. You can pull it. LYN: What does this mean? Actually what you want to say is, “It’s okay, Ning-ge. Hold your concert. I have some money left in my pocket, and can buy a ticket to support you.” It’s actually a good thing. But they’re want to burden me with the way they phrased it. It seems like you want to be a talk show actor. // So another way of saying it is that because I decided to hold a concert, I’m over here pulling your hair? (like it’s his fault) This burden… this doesn’t sound like a joke. That is- it’s not a very funny comment. LYN: My fans should all know that I’m cool. I don’t really want to pull your hair, and I wouldn’t find it polite to do so. That’s why most of the time my songs are all free, and why I don’t accept business proposals and all that complicated stuff. 

3:06:50 C: Ning-ge, how about this. If I can’t or am unable to buy a ticket, sing louder. That way I can hear from outside the stadium. LYN: If they let me, I can do that. As long as it doesn’t disturb the public, I could  connect to speakers on the outside. You can stand outside and “watch”- that’s okay with me. As long as it’s allowed. But I don’t think it will be allowed. If it were a sports venue with an open top, that would probably be okay. The problem is that mine will probably be held in a closed venue. It’s sealed and soundproof. C: Ning-ge, I’m a college student and wiling to go be a volunteer. LYN: I’m not in charge of outsourcing, so there’s no point in telling me that.

3:07:50 C: Ning-ge, do you like watching talkshows? LYN: I haven’t ever seen one live, but I’ve come across clips online. 

3:08:27 C: I’ll go dance for you. LYN: Um… I want to tell you something, and it’s not because I’m looking down on you- let me take my glasses off so I can tell you seriously- I’m not looking down on you, nor do I think you’re not worthy to dance for me. That’s not it. It’s because I have to sell tickets for this performance. Stage setting, sound, etc. These are things people are paying to see. It’s not a joke, and not just a fun dance in the square. I’m not just setting up a pair of speakers in a courtyard and dancing. It’s not the same level. You can dance for me, but you’d have to be a professional dancer. LYN: Or, how about you attend my concert, and you can dance from your seat? Only the hands. Just don’t stand up, or the security guards might kick you out. You can sit off the stage (in the seats) and dance. Okay?

3:10:10 C: Is there a discount for students? LYN: I don’t know about the concert ticket, but you can probably get a discount on the train ticket. I’m not sure, because I’ve never had a student certification. I’ve never used one, so I don’t know.  Because I went to school in the same place, and I didn’t go to college.

3:11:00 C: A four-sided stage! LYN: I went to ZBC’s concert and sang on her four-sided stage. I think the good thing is that… You can see from anywhere, and there are more front row seats. :) That means I can sell more of the more expensive front-row tickets. I’m joking. What I wanted to say is that all four sides have a “front row.” In a normal concert there’s only the one front-facing row of front-row seats. You’d be missing out on selling those tickets because there aren’t enough seats. That’s a joke, okay? LYN: The good thing is that the distance is closer- you can be closer to more people. I don’t know what the bad thing would be... I just wasn’t used to it. I went to- to cameo. What am I, acting? I went to be a special guest and I felt like I had to keep moving around. I was going from here to there and back- just wandering around the whole time. I’m just not used to it. We’ll see if I ever hold one like that, but for now I don’t think I can accept it. If singing doesn’t make me tired, walking across the stage will. The stages that extend into the crowd are okay, but if it’s just four-sided and there’s nothing to do but walk around- like shopping- I wouldn’t be accustomed to it. I still need a big screen for a background, so it can show things. 

- /he’ll be tearing off his shirt when he’s 60, like he promised. right now he’s making enough money to buy the shirts./ - /daimi just ate, so he’ll show us her later./ - /was going to talk about the music festival but… doesn’t know/doesn’t dare to say anything/

3:16:05 C: Ning-ge, didn’t you say you would go on music varieties often? LYN: Music varieties are actually hard. The hardest part- especially for music variety shows- is to seek investment/funding. Many shows have come for me the past two years; but if they don’t have the funding they’re never going to take off. If you think about it, there haven’t been many music variety shows lately. I was on WMDG, which is DragonTV but they’re and old customer/frequently worked with. The other one I’m on is Melody Journey, which is also very good. I’m not saying that because I already recorded with them and now I need to shower my praises. It’s because they’re doing something I think is really meaningful. The cast is great- objectively speaking, and excluding myself- they’re well-known in the industry and have their own representative works. The singer-songwriters are also well-known! I don’t mean to criticize or compare, but you’ll notice that in most of the other shows we’re only just singing covers. There hasn’t been a program for original music in many years. There hasn’t been a way to show off new music in quite some time, unlike how with the short content media where one old song becomes popular, played over and over for a week or half a month, then blows over again. A show for original content is rare and risky. As a singer, the fact that such a program exists, is meaningful and it takes a lot of courage to pull off. LYN: With covers, the song already has a base popularity. Just like with novels. If you buy the rights for an already popular novel- hold on, why did I bring acting into this? The thing is if you find an already popular song to cover, everyone would have already heard it. But with original music, they’re all NEW songs and it’s the first time people are hearing them. If they’re good, great! If they’re not good, you’ll never hear it again. Even if a song isn’t that good, once it’s made it to the short video platform and you listen to it on repeat for a few loops you might even start to like it. I just think that a show like this is very meaningful. 

3:20:30 C: You’ll be singing 偷心 tomorrow. LYN: Who told you that? Don’t make assumptions about my stage performances. LYN: I’ll be singing this song tomorrow- 奇妙惊喜 (Magical Surprise). That’s why I’m listening to it now- so I can practice. C: They already released a video of the rehearsal. LYN: I know. That’s only a portion. Actually I’m singing 18 songs tomorrow and that’s one of them.

3:21:38 C: Does the Liu Group Business Empire have more episodes? LYN: You like to hear me tell stories? There are no more episodes. LYN: You’re just a normal person, so don’t even think about trying to make any connections with the Liu Group. /slap/

3:22:20 C: Ning-ge, did you change your headphones? LYN: Wow, your attention to detail is amazing. These are such big headphones- can you not tell that they’re new? I feel like I’m dressed for winter! (wearing earmuffs) C: Your stage earbuds. LYN: You’re so attentive, you even know about that? I went to record for a program and brought a sound technician with me, who asked me what type of earbuds I was using. I told them which ones I was using (from before), and they let me know that there’s a new model out and let me try theirs. They had just received them from abroad, and would let me borrow them. So I tried them, and I couldn’t tell if they were good or bad. But I figured I’d been using the old pair for six years and it was about time to change. So I told them I would use theirs for the show and to become accustomed to them. Later, I asked them to buy a pair for me. At first they wanted to gift me theirs, but I told them not to because they’re expensive. So, I changed my earbuds. The new ones are more suited to live shows. C: What about the in-ears? LYN: I didn’t buy customized in-ears. Because then you’d need to get a kit and take a mold of your ear, then send it back to America to be made and sent back. I just bought a standard pair- just like one you would normally use, with the universal large or small. It’s all good- there’s not much of a difference. 3:25:40 C: Why are you wearing headphones to livestream? LYN: For appearances. Actually, there’s no sound coming from them. 1. For appearances and 2. My house is cold, so I’m wearing them to warm my ears. LYN: Kidding! Some of you my not know, so let me explain. With the headphones, I can hear myself talk and also the music. Everything you hear- is what I hear. I can monitor with these, as I need to hear what I’m saying. Sometimes I’ll sing, and instead of going through the trouble to set up a pair of speakers here, I can just listen to the track through my headphones instead. Before, I was wearing the earbuds and it was the same thing.

3:27:00 - /figuring out how long he’s streamed for, and how much longer/ LYN: Honestly it’s been a long time since I streamed last, and I’m not really in the right mood for it. I hope for your understanding, and when I’m in the mood I will come to stream again and we’ll have proper fun. // I just feel like I’m slow in thinking and I also don’t dare to say as much anymore. One of the things is that my drama is about to air soon, and I don’t want to say anything “explosive” that will negatively affect my work. So I’m trying to control myself, otherwise I might say something you might take offense to and then I’ll be in trouble again. I’ll give you an example, you may or may not understand: Let’s say there’s this thing- and I comment that LYN is ugly. If the thing comes true, it has nothing to do with me, because LYN is ugly. If it doesn’t come true, it DOES have to do with me, because LYN is ugly. I don’t want to take the blame, whether it’s a success or not.

3:30:15 C: Are you in Hengdian? LYN: I’m… (in Hengdian) in Beijing. Why? Do you want to come over and hit me? C: I’ll go ambush you tomorrow. Watch yourself. LYN: The internet isn’t a lawless place. If I report you, please undertand me. You can insult me, but you can’t threaten me.

3:31:35 C: Ning-ge, could you act as the big bad villain? LYN: /amused/ Because I don’t look like a good person, or what? If I act as a good Samaritan, it looks out of place?? Wasn’t there someone earlier whose dad said I looked like a person with positive energy??? Or was it their mom? And now you want me to act as a villain.

3:32:45 C: Ning-ge, I want to see you act in a comedy. LYN: That’s too hard. It’s the most difficult… So.. If there’s a chance, I guess. Let me hone my skills more, let me learn more. I will never think I’m good enough. LYN: Let me tell you, there’s this way of thinking- it’s also what I tell myself- I think people- no, I shouldn’t say this. I’ll tell you later.

3:33:33 C: What’s good to eat in Zhejiang? LYN: How would I know?? I don’t know. Why don’t you go to a public forum and look it up? Download a tourism app or something. Why would I know- I’m not from Zhejiang. I’m from Liaoning, Dandong. I’ve only ever been in Hengdian, and it’s just a town/city. - /but: transportation and delivery are fast, and restaurants are opened by people from all over. so you can get whatever you want whenever you want./

3:34:55 C: Can you talk about Melody Journey? LYN: I did earlier, didn’t I? It’s great. Normally we split into two parts for recording- first half on site with all the guests, and then the second half for performances we’ll go to Macau. C: Will there be a second season? LYN: I think so, because it’s a great program. Jiangsu is good at making music-varieties. But it’s really hard to say. This is like when people ask me if there’ll be a season 3 for KSTLB. If a program has enough funds/investors then any of them can come to fruition. So, to the person who asked this question, please work hard to create a business that’s as good as the Liu Group’s Business Empire. Then, you can invest as you wish. Just invest in whatever you want to watch. Okay? So study well and work hard. I hope that one day you can have a business empire as impressive as the Liu Group’s. 

3:36:40 C: Lao-da, when I have money I’ll ask you to be my producer. LYN: So what you mean is that you don’t think I’m suited for acting? /laughs/ I’m joking! LYN: You want me to be the producer so I can call the shots and pick my own director and actors? That’ll work. I hope you make a lot of money and when that time comes I’ll work for you.

3:27:15 C: Can you improve your acting a little? LYN: I’ve always been working on it! I’m always learning. My progress is already pretty quick, considering I’m just a cook. I know that the audience has no reason to wait for me, but I really am trying- learning how to perform and say my lines. I’m working hard on it. I don’t like to say anything about it, because I think that telling people that “I’m working so hard” is.. (pretentious). This friend, if you watch every one of my dramas, you’ll discover that I am improving over time. You can watch them, okay? My performance in later dramas is much different than in the beginning. I’ve started to act… randomly. That’s a joke!! I can’t tell you any nonsense with this. I DO improve in my later dramas, so I hope you can continue to follow me. I’m not like what you’ve seen before. 

3:38:40 LYN: But sometimes actors… /thinks about not finishing his thought/ Actors aren’t the most important part of the crew. Because there are a lot of things we don’t even have a say in- wardrobe, makeup, props. The only thing you can do anything with are the lines you’re given. There’s nothing I- at this point in my career- can do about it. I can’t influence what’s written in the script. LYN: Also, I’m the one being chosen, so I’m not that great. That’s why I hope you can make a lot of money so that I can be a producer instead. Jiayou. Work on your business empire. 3:40:30 C: Ning-ge, if someone invests and makes you a producer, can you let me act? LYN: You want to be a celebrity? Let me ask you something first- can you bear getting yelled at? The first thing you have to do is have a strong mental fortitude in order to work in this industry. All other data comes after. The first step to getting in this door is whether or not you can withstand being yelled at. You can say, “I have a thick skin. I can take it.” It’s nothing like what you’re thinking. It’s not just curse words. If it were, then I’d be more than ok.

3:42:10 C: Can you say anything about the SJYM trailer? LYN: I think it’s good, right? You all saw it. There’s not much else to say, because if I say more I would be spoiling the drama. It’s just a story about transmigrating into a script and it’s a bit… satirical. It plays on a lot of drama tropes. LYN: I’m sure a lot of of you have seen historical dramas, and particularly historical-idol dramas. For example when the FL is in danger, then the ML will always pop out of nowhere to save her. There are a few methods of saving her but one of them is: Grab them by the waist and turn in the air, time freezes. The FL is looking at the ML, and the ML looks determinedly ahead. In that moment, she’s reeled in and the plot begins. There are always these types of scenes, and every drama has it. The whole “hero saves the beauty” trope. Honestly, and I’ve said this before, we’ve been doing television dramas for such a long time now- is there anything we HAVEN’T seen yet? That’s something a director’s also told me. The only thing that changes is how it’s executed. C: What hasn’t been filmed before? LYN: I will amend my earlier comment to say, “Is there anything we haven’t seen yet, *that can even be filmed in the first place.” Now we have a limit. Is there anything that’s ALLOWED that we haven’t seen yet? We’ve seen it all. LYN: I’ve also done guzhuang dramas, so I know- most of them all have a lantern festival. It’s either Mid-Autumn Festival or Spring/Lantern Festival. There’s always lanterns. I guess people in old time’s only entertainment was to look at lanterns. But every drama has it. - /also: water lanterns, tanghulu, scenes were there’s an imminent execution but someone stops it at the last minute, etc./ LYN: The point of this drama is to play on all of these tropes and flip the script.  - /discusses more examples: tournaments to win the lady’s hand in marriage (he forgot he had to do this with Hao Du); when the FL/ML jump off a cliff but they never die (but no one cares about supporting roles)- there’s either a river or some hidden martial arts skill, a tree branch, or they’re saved by someone/

3:49:48 C: ML/FL don’t die if they get shot with an arrow. LYN: Not necessarily, it depends on what episode. Whether the ML/FL die by getting shot with an arrow depends on how many episodes in you are. If it’s a 40 episode drama and the ML gets shot in e39, he might die. If it’s e15 and the ML looks like a porcupine, he’s still not going to die. But if you get shot in e39, ML is likely going to die, based on plot progression alone. It has nothing to do with the ML/FL themselves at this point. The other possibility is that you don’t die directly from getting shot, but it leaves a lasting wound that leads to a later cause of death. It’s an indirect cause of death. But if it’s the earlier eps, forget about getting shot- even if the ML’s lost an arm, he’ll still find a way to grow one back. LYN: As an actor myself, the move I use the most is this- /holds his left shoulder./ I just don’t know what it is with this left chest. The arrow is always shot here. You may not have noticed it, but think back on the dramas you’ve watched- the ML is usually always shot on the left. Why there? First- it can make the ML bare-chested. If they get shot in the belly-button, then it’s difficult to film. How are you supposed to film there? You’ll pull their intestines out. Middle of the chest also doesn’t look good. It has to be above the heart but below the collarbone- there’s some cartilage and can be pierced through. Once the clothes are off you can show off the chest, and abs if you have them. After spraying some water, to make it seem like it hurts so much he’s sweating, you can let it run down the body- it serves to please the audience. LYN: Another thing is- it’s easier to perform. Using your right hand to cover your left shoulder is a smoother motion. If you use your left hand to cover your right chest- unless you’re left-handed- it’s awkward. If you’re shot in the shoulder, you’re going to look for something to hold on to for support. If you support yourself with your left hand it can be a little awkward. You can go think about it. People rarely ever get shot in the butt. Some comedies might have it, I suppose. But in general, the ML always gets shot in the left shoulder. You can think about all the dramas you’ve watched. C: Lao-da, you can do one where you get shot in the butt. LYN: … /sigh/ What’s wrong with you? C: /comments about getting shot in the stomach./ LYN: Yes, people do get shot in the stomach, but not in the belly-button, like I said earlier! How good must your aim be to accomplish that?!? They get shot or grazed in the side. - LYN: For knives- let me tell you. Knife wounds are usually here on the arm, shoulder, or side. These three places are the easiest to acquire knife wounds. On the back yes, but rarely. Almost never on the head. Legs are few, too. Legs get shot with arrows. In the knee, mostly. I’m not saying it never happens, but that mostly the wounds are on the upper half of the body. As an actor- if you get shot in the thigh or something, for the next five or six scenes you’ll have to walk with a limp and that doesn’t look good. They can’t walk gracefully and the hair won’t be flowing in the wind, like that. So legs wounds are rare, but if you do get hurt there you can lie on a bed for a few days and then you’re all healed. But a leg wound, where you still have to walk on it?? I already experienced that when I broke my foot, didn’t I? (YNGS) Most wounds are on the upper half so that filming later on is easier.

- /! Talks about a character in ZLYM (Kang Ju), who walks with a cane and has a limp, but has very good fighting skills and the cane is also a sword. There’s one scene where the group is supposed to chase after bad guys, but it suddenly occurred to LYN, “How is he supposed to run??” How does that look on camera?/ C: On a wire. LYN: … Wouldn’t it be better if we just had a wooden wheelchair and then pushed him with us?

- /used to share stories from set more, but nowadays doesn’t want to give anyone an excuse to find a loophole/cause for ridicule/

4:03:02 C: Is there a character who’s been with the ML from the start, but it turns out that in the end they were the villain all along? LYN: There are. In YNGS… /pauses to think about it/ In YNGS there was someone who was with me until the end- Ding Hui- do you remember him? In the very first drafts of the script he was a mole. But then- never mind. These roles exist, though. In any case, it was changed later. Not by me! I don’t have that kind of power. 4:04:33 C: ZBF’s senior brother. LYN: You could probably already tell in the beginning eps that he was a villain. From the first moment we saw him, we already knew. It’s not like he was acting like a good guy the whole time, only to find out he was bad in the end. He doesn’t count. C: I was waiting for him to turn good.

LYN: Let me see what time it is. It’s time, friends. I’ve been streaming for 4 hours now. If you haven’t yet subscribed to my weibo, please do so. I am Modern Brothers Liu Yuning. Thank you for watching my stream today. I’ll come to stream when I have time, ok? If you haven’t subscribed yet, you can. It’s not shameful. Thank you for your company. I hope you had a relaxing, happy, and wonderful time. It was great to have you and I hope you had fun. Next time I’ll make sure I’ve got all the settings right before I stream. Goodnight everyone.

[alexis-whitman]

Consequences

[In her office, GENEVIEVE hums to herself, adding one of her newest moths to her collection. She has a plethora of moth collections hanging from her wall, although it seems like she keeps multiple of each moth, and names them, as well, due to the labels sporting names such as "Elizabeth", "Harold", "Jamie", et cetera. Her golden blonde hair is tied back into a bun, and her blue eyes sparkle as she places the newly updated moth collection on the wall. The halo of bright light that hovers above her head and the white, feathery wings make her look like a literal angel, like she can do no wrong.]

[After hanging the updated moth collection on her wall, GENEVIEVE takes a seat at her desk before pressing a button. Suddenly, ALEX-WHITMAN pops up in the chair, looking extremely confused.]

Uh... Hello, ma'am. Why exactly am I here?

I would like to commend you for your work surrounding the Bill that goes by "Nester". Somehow, you've managed to interact with him without provoking a violent outburst!

Uh... thanks.

[ALEX-WHITMAN seems to relax a bit. That is, until GENEVIEVE's smile becomes a bit colder, more... sadistic.]

Yes, yes. I do wonder why he might enjoy your company so much. Perhaps... you might be providing him with unwarranted aid.

[ALEX-WHITMAN freezes as GENEVIEVE summons a tablet. She pulls up a video and plays it. It's the time ALEX-WHITMAN tried giving NESTER his meds and "accidentally" dropped a small pack of crackers for the Euclydian to snack on. At least, it definitely LOOKED like an accident. GENEVIEVE clicks her tongue, shaking her head.]

Alex, Alex, Alex. This isn't like you. You're usually such a loyal and diligent employee, but here you are, giving unauthorized food for patients. What do you have to say for yourself?

I... I'm sorry, ma'am. I didn't know I dropped the crackers. I'd put them in my pocket to snack on later, but I didn't realize that they ended up in a patient's hands. I'm sorry.

[GENEVIEVE thinks for a moment.]

...Well, that does seem like a mistake. And I trust you won't do it again, correct?

Y-yes, ma'am.

...In that case, I won't fire you. I will, however, put you on a two-months suspension as a penalty for this lapse in judgement. You will not be able to leave your room during this time, and your meals will be sent in at designated meal times. Do you understand?

[ALEX-WHITMAN nods quickly.]

Yes, ma'am.

[GENEVIEVE smirks, standing up from her chair.]

Good. I hope you make better choices in the future, Alex. After all...

[GENEVIEVE gestures to the moth collections lining her walls.]

...I'm not opposed to adding another moth to my collection.

[And with that, ALEX-WHITMAN is warped into his room. It's not much different from a patient's room, save for a desk with an old PC sitting on it. ALEX-WHITMAN lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding and falls to his knees, shaking.]

[His world just got an awful lot smaller.]

[mariacallous]

For almost a decade, Nick Roy has been scanning North Korea’s tiny internet presence, spotting new websites coming online and providing a glimpse of the Hermit Kingdoms’ digital life. However, at the end of last year, the cybersecurity researcher and DPRK blogger stumbled across something new: signs North Koreans are working on major international TV shows.

In December, Roy discovered a misconfigured cloud server on a North Korean IP address containing thousands of animation files. Included in the cache were animation cells, videos, and notes discussing the work, plus changes that needed to be made to ongoing projects. Some images appeared to be from an Amazon Prime Video superhero show and an upcoming Max (aka HBO Max) children’s anime.

The findings and security lapse—detailed in a report by the Stimson Center think tank's North Korea–focused 38 North Project, which helped analyze the findings along with Google-owned security firm Mandiant—provide a glimpse at how North Korea can use skilled IT and tech workers to raise funds for its heavily sanctioned regime. It also comes as US officials increasingly warn about North Korean IT workers infiltrating companies and their outsourcing.

North Korea’s internet is a small—and fragile—space. The repressive nation only has 1,024 IP addresses and around 30 websites that connect to the global internet. While there is a limited internal intranet, only a few thousand of the country’s 26 million people can get on the internet. When they do, it’s highly controlled: These select few North Koreans can use the internet for an hour at a time and have a person sitting next to them approving their use every five minutes.

When Roy discovered the exposed cloud server, it was being updated on a daily basis. Martyn Williams, a senior fellow on the 38 North Project who helped analyze the contents of the server, says the server likely allowed work to be sent to and from North Korean animators. The server itself is still live, but it mysteriously stopped being used at the end of February. While there is a login page, its contents can be accessed without a username and password. “I found the login page after I found all the exposed files,” Roy says.

Inside, the files contained editing comments and instructions in Chinese which were translated to Korean, the researchers write in their report. “For a lot of the animation files, we would find things like spreadsheets with details of the workflow,” Williams says. A sample of the files shared with WIRED show detailed anime images and video clips, with notes for the authors and date stamps on various files. In one instance, the report says, an animator was “asked to improve the shape of the character’s head.”

Based on the documents and drawings, the researchers were able to identify some of the shows and projects the North Koreans were working on. Some of the projects included work from season 3 of the Amazon show Invincible, which is produced by California-based Skybound Entertainment. There were also documents linked to Max and Cartoon Network show Iyanu: Child of Wonder, produced by YouNeek Studios, as well as files from a Japanese anime series and an animation studio in Japan.

Some file names gave away clues about the series and episode numbers. There were also files and projects the researchers could not identify—including a “bunch of files” with videos of horses and a Russian book on horses, Williams says.

Sanctions placed upon the North Korean regime, for its ongoing human rights abuses and nuclear warfare programs, prohibit US companies from working with DPRK companies or individuals. However, the researchers say it is highly unlikely that any companies involved would have a clue about North Korean animators working on the shows, and there is nothing suggesting the companies violated any sanctions or other laws. “It is likely that the contracting arrangement was several steps downstream from the major producers,” the report says.

Spokespeople for Amazon and Max spokesperson declined to comment for this story. YouNeek Studios did not respond to a request for comment.

“We do not work with North Korean companies, or Chinese companies on Invincible, or any affiliated entities, and have no knowledge of any North Korean or Chinese companies working on Invincible,” a spokesperson for Skybound Entertainment says. “We take any claims very seriously and have commenced an investigation into this.” In a post on X, the company characterized the findings as “unconfirmed” and said it is working with authorities to investigate.

Williams says it is possible that a front company in China is used to help disguise the activity and involvement of North Koreans. The researchers were able to analyze connections to the exposed server and, despite most having their location masked by a VPN, spotted access from Spain and three Chinese cities. “All three cities are known to have many North Korean–operated businesses and are main centers for North Korea’s IT workers who live overseas,” the report says.

While Williams says the researchers did not find any identifiable names of North Korean organizations buried in the files, the country has a well-established animation company called April 26 Animation Studio, which is also known as SEK Studio. Originally set up in the 1950s, the studio has worked on hundreds of international TV shows and movies.

However, in recent years, the US Treasury Department has sanctioned SEK Studios, individuals linked to it, and various “front companies” that it says are used to “work for foreign customers.” Many of these have links to China, according to the sanctions. “SEK Studio has utilized an assortment of front companies to evade sanctions targeting the government of the DPRK and to deceive international financial institutions,” a statement issued as part of the sanctions in 2021 says.

The main aim of these efforts, says Michael Barnhart, a North Korea researcher at Mandiant, is to raise money for the North Korean regime. The country’s hackers and scammers have stolen and extorted billions of dollars to help fund its military ambitions in recent years, including from huge cryptocurrency heists. In early 2022, the FBI issued a 16-page alert warning companies that remote North Korean freelance IT workers were infiltrating businesses to earn money they could funnel back home.

“The volume is much higher than we were expecting,” Barnhart says of North Korea’s IT workers. They are constantly changing their tactics to avoid being caught, he says. “We had one not too long ago, where during the interview, the person’s mouth was just off-frame. You could tell that someone in the background was speaking on their behalf.” Technically, Barnhart says, companies should verify their remote workers’ devices and make sure that there is no remote software connecting to a company laptop or network. Businesses should also put extra efforts at the hiring stage by training HR staff to detect possible IT workers.

However, he says, increasingly there is a greater crossover between North Korean IT workers and individuals who are members of known hacking groups or classified as advanced persistent threats (APTs). “The more we focus on IT workers, the more we’re starting to see APT operators and efforts blending in with those,” he says. “This might be the most quick learning-on-your-feet, nimble nation-state that I've ever seen.”

[studio52sblog]

Discover the art of time lapse photography with Studio 52's expert guide. Learn 10 essential tips for stunning videos, from planning to execution.

[loststarphounix]

now that we got that question out of the way...

how about the vice versa? despair!kazuichi x non-despair!gundham?

would their situation be the same with the stockholm syndrome and all?

That’s a good question! And my answer would be…maybe.

The difference between Kazuichi and Gundham in this is their personality and response to isolation. Kazuichi would fall much quicker than Gundham because his response to violence and domination are freeze and flight due to his dad’s constant abuse as a child. While Gundham was also being abused by his dad, he had his mom and he felt strength protecting her and by extension others before himself, which makes his response to violence fight. That makes a big difference because Kazuichi has to literally keep Gundham chained to prevent him from escaping.

He wouldn’t hurt the breeder intentionally and tries desperately to give him creature comforts and even makes him robotic animals to “care” for (he did give him actual mice once but they somehow managed to pick the knock of the cage). He’s given his own room, with a lock on the outside, a four poster bed, bordered down chairs, desks etc. And cameras monitoring him 24/7. Kazuichi is obsessively watching the live video feed, since Gundham will refuse to see for days at a time. Even when he’s supposed to be working on towards nuclear fallout, he’ll still live stream the room on all his monitors so as to not miss anything.

Gundham had at first denied Kazuichi entrance to his room or his company, but he eventually caves due to loneliness and the need to see if he can break through to the other. It seemed to him that the once bumbling mechanic was under a dark spell. Perhaps he can deduce the root cause and free them both from this curse. But it seems to only make Kazuichi ecstatic when he finally invites him inside his room and immediately begins to demand more - of his time, of his voice, of his touch. He wants all of Gundham and the goth walks a very, very thin line of denying these advances and giving Kazuichi a little bit.

After awhile, I think Kazuichi would get bored of this - the despair isn’t given new stimuli and so he decides to push boundaries. Normally, he wouldn’t do this intentionally, but he isn’t normal anymore, is he? His a Remnant and the world he controls is shared with 14 other people. He shouldn’t have to pussyfoot around the love of his life object of his desire if he didn’t want to. Which pushes Gundham just a bit because ya know, a crazy mechanic is demanding more of him in a stressful situation.

I can’t help but think Kazuichi would take it as a sign of love, due to his Despair fueling his degradation kink lol 😈 Gundham kinda gives in for his sanity’s sake, but he hopes to help Kazuichi and get him free from Junko’s grasp. There seems to be moments of lapses - a flicker of hope here and there. Maybe all is not lost.

[dk-thrive]

I’d fallen in love with a man whose heart was like his company: effusive, unruly, surprising, spellbinding. Now we were married after only six months. I wanted to believe you could make commitment work by speeding it up like a time-lapse video of a growing plant: Seed, stalk, bloom. Voilà.

— Leslie Jamison, Splinters: Another Kind of Love Story (Little Brown and Company, February 20, 2024)