#tidytidbit

[tidytidbits]

Tidy tidbit #4

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Clutter solution #2: Taking the easy route

Do you ever put off difficult/time-intensive tasks because you've got an "all or nothing" completion mindset (despite oftentimes the task being something you can stop doing at any point and resume later with no consequence?)

I finally washed my windows this morning. I got up before it hit 80 degrees and we wiped all the dirt out of the white window tracks and windexed all the panes. It was long overdue. It was gross. It took hours. Why didn't I take any steps sooner to prevent over a year of dirt buildup? Because of all-or-nothing thinking.

"If it can't be done perfectly, with maximum efficiency, all at once, when I'm feeling my best, then why do it at all?"

As a working adult that's a very difficult standard to hold yourself or others to. And it's going to prevent you from getting a lot of stuff done. How you use your time outside of structured activities like work or school is already splintered between a lot of other demanding factors that need daily attention.

Sometimes you don't have as many spoons as it's going to take to do it all at once, or do it well. That doesn't mean it shouldn't get done at all. The first time I half-assed it washing a dish with nothing but water and called it good? It felt like a crime. Are you kidding me? I was raised better.

Narrator: his therapist could later confirm that he was not, in fact-

Get your brain out of the "all or nothing" mindset and try doing something 40% of the way or even less. Sometimes it has consequences, sometimes it doesn't, of course. I'm specifically applying it to clutter and housekeeping here.

This post is getting long, so how I apply this to clutter is getting a separate post.

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[tidytidbits]

Tidy tidbit #6

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Clutter solution #3: Prioritizing progress

Some clutter tasks are

BIG (physical effort, large timeline)

complicated (research needed, dependent on other factors or parties, etc)

expensive (specialist required)

emotional (loved one's estate, items that trigger grief/anger)

Example: my passport. It took up far more mental space than physical, but there were a lot of hurdles to getting it updated. I didn't have a printer at home to print the form. The ID requirements were very strict. I needed to a paper check (for how much??). I was overwhelmed by how little insight into the process I had.

I told all of that to my therapist in the context that I was going to have a week off between switching full-time jobs and that would be the perfect time to get it done...if only I could force myself to figure it out. She told me to prioritize any sort of progress over trying to get it done all at once, and that looking at it all at once was probably giving me task paralysis.

She advised me to just start, even if it was just 20 minutes of research across an entire day.

I started with simply finding the form and making sure I printed it at work before giving my two weeks notice (just in case they fired me!). It sat in my backpack for a while, and then I started with the easiest parts to fill out. Then I started googling my questions, and was able to resolve a lot over the course of about half an hour. I combined the two errands I needed to run into one trip and knocked it out in a morning where I had some time before I needed to be at work.

Piece by piece. And it did get done! Once I resolved to not getting it done perfectly and all at once, each piece felt a lot easier than the process as a whole.

So take it a little at a time. Take one huge overwhelming task and ask what you could do in under 10 minutes that moves the process forward, even if it's just an inch. Is it filling one shopping bag of things that are definitely trash, and taking it out of the space? Is it googling a couple things and writing down a phone number to call later? Is it printing off a form and filling in just your name?

You got this :)

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[tidytidbits]

Tidy tidbit #5

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Clutter solution #2: Taking the easy route

[This is the part where I actually relate it to clutter]

So what you're going to do is look at the to-do items that are telling your brain "fix me" and "read me" and you're going to ask "How can I half-ass this?"

Some examples of half-assing clutter include:

Paying a disposal fee to have hazardous waste materials picked up [rather than transporting it yourself]

Having a local church or charity pick up donations from your doorstep

Throwing away usable items rather than donating [if you are unable to easily get items to donation] or donating items you were trying to sell for profit

Getting a full-size trash can for your room with large bags and a lid, so trash is easier to throw away AND take out, rather than overflowing a tiny can

Leaving a donation box on the floor of the closet so you can just throw clothes in as you find them, rather than doing a big purge

Checking out the ebook version of a book you already own free from the library because you don't have the time to sit down and read it

Throwing things away with household trash instead of properly cleaning and recycling (but please do this with things like peanut butter jars and small well-sealed pints of paint, not stuff like lithium batteries and medical waste sharps)

Finding an online tool that can help you plan certain projects faster

Throwing trash in an unlocked and unattended public dumpster (this one's for you, city-limited trash quantity girlies)

Deciding that a broken item doesn't have to be mended well, just to the point where it functions

Choosing to not do move-out cleaning to get your deposit back

You'll notice those cover a WIDE scope, and for good reason. The power to half-ass tasks and LET yourself be okay with half-assing tasks is hard but applicable to many areas of life, especially if you struggle with linear thinking and obsession/compulsion. But here as I'm letting it relate to task items and cleaning specifically, especially situations where a lot of trash or hazards are involved, we're looking for progress over perfection and putting mental health over the ever-present stream of media that says you'll ruin the planet if you have a carbon footprint.

If you're struggling with hazards, an extremely limited timeline, a quick exit to a bad living situation, or eviction, you NEED to triage so the most important things get your full effort and apply the minimum required level of effort to the rest.

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[tidytidbits]

Tidy tidbit #3

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Clutter task solution #1: Giving up

Haha, no, I couldn't possibly....give up on the hobby I'm guilting myself for not doing? Or the unfinished crochet project. Or the unread Smart Person Books That Everyone Who's Anyone Reads that are on my shelf because I NEED to expand my worldview, there are horrible things happening that I need to be aware of and-

Yes, you can give up on all of that. Seriously, yeah! Try Giving Up™ today for the low low price of FREE. THROW IT AWAY. PACK IT UP. DONATE IT. STOP GUILTING YOURSELF ABOUT IT.

I said it in my other post: If something you used to enjoy [or thought you would enjoy] causes you negative emotions now and you have the option to move onto something else, continuing to force yourself to experience the thing that sucks doesn't leave you any room to experience something else you might enjoy.

Giving up and getting rid of the item is definitely an option if:

It's a gift from someone else and you hate it (more on how to politely tell chronic gift-givers and nosy relatives your feelings later!)

The item has low value or little to no resale value to other people (obsolete electronics, broken items, already-opened consumables like makeup and food)

You did it, you loved it, you thought you wanted to keep loving it, but now you're over it and you don't need the physical reminder. Like fancy liquor bottles that you kept but never used for anything. Or physical books, if you don't reread books. Or souvenirs from trips.

It would take you more time and effort than you're willing to put into completing that item's task. Applies to everything from unread books to podcasts to side hustles.

The item is not a necessity for day-to-day life AND-

There are no significant emotional, legal, or financial repercussions to giving up on that hobby, experience, or item. I am excluding sunk cost (the amount of money you spent on the item) when I say this.

Obviously I'm not telling you to throw away your only childhood photos, diploma, or taxes. PLEASE keep it if it's important to achieving necessary things and PLEASE READ THE NEXT BIT, NEURODIVERGENT FRIENDS!!

Exceptions to this solution:

If you suffer from a mood disorder or alternating states of mania and depression, or even just seasonal affective disorder (S.A.D.), I highly recommend PACKING things out of sight rather than throwing them away if you have the space, just for at least 6 months. This is so you don't end up destroying something you would have kept in a different mental state, a different season, a different home environment. If you don't love reading at ALL right now (vs something like definitely being out of your Twilight phase but still into fantasy novels) and you've struggled before with periods where nothing "sparks joy", then try just boxing them up and putting them in the back of your closet for a few months with a reminder on your phone to donate if you still don't want to read in better times either.

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[tidytidbits]

Tidy tidbit #2

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What might a clutter to-do list look like? Here are some "to-do" items that your clutter (physical AND digital) might be telling you:

"Read this" - books, magazines, news articles,

"Fix this" - torn clothing, broken electronics, weathered furniture, renovations

"Wash this" - clothes, dishes, toys, bedding, outdoor equipment

"Sort this" - paperwork, mail, digital folders, photos

"Finish this" - food and pantry goods, projects, books and media

"Use this" - medicines and beauty supplies, gifts, hobby supplies, games, decorations

"Get rid of this" - items you've already decided to let go of but need special types of disposal [e-waste, hazardous chemicals]

Does your brain fixate on what your clutter says to you? Does the list take up mental space? Do you feel guilty for never using the odd-smelling soaps your in-laws got you two Christmases ago? Is that metaphor specific enough that you can tell I struggle with it too?

Let's get into ways you can reduce or remove some of those to-do list items below:

Keep in mind that the same problem may require different solutions (or multiple solutions used as steps) from person to person.

Giving up. Yes, seriously, it's okay to give up. It's okay to throw your hands in the air and admit that you don't actually want to spend the little free time you have learning Spanish on Duolingo. If something you used to enjoy causes you negative emotions now and you have the option to stop, continuing to force yourself to experience it doesn't leave you any room to experience something else you might enjoy.

Taking the easy route. Assuming no one's forcing you to finish the to-do item to perfection, sometimes it's only getting done if it's getting half-assed. Get your brain out of the "all or nothing" mindset and try doing something 40% of the way or even less.

Prioritizing progress. I put off renewing my passport for years. Recently it made me anxious enough that I pushed myself to break the process into steps I could understand and got the steps done (hating it every second of the way, of course). I didn't have to enjoy it, but I did have to make progress.

Accepting it. This one sounds counterintuitive, but sometimes recognize that a to-do item is bothering you simply because you're letting it bother you. If it's not causing harm or taking up space you need for other things, and it will eventually resolve in some low-stakes manner (back to those gifted soaps I'm not a huge fan of, which I can absolutely put in the guest bathroom), sometimes it's okay to just take a deep breath and tell yourself it doesn't need to be as high on the list as your brain is putting it. If it continues to weigh on you, though, consider one of the other solutions.

Get creative. I'm sure you're familiar with how kids will make it look like they've actually done something (eaten their dinner, cleaned their room, done their homework) when they actually haven't. And I LOVE that energy tbh. So how can you achieve it as an adult? Is it giving up on handmade gifts this year and going on Etsy? Is it finding a charity that will pick up your donation pile from your doorstep even though you're capable of taking it somewhere yourself (because you haven't taken it yourself in six months?) Is it under-bed storage that hides your collection of squishmallows from your MIL?

And yes, I love to talk, so I'm going to elaborate on each of these and come back here to link to those posts when they exist.

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[tidytidbits]

Tidy tidbit #1

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So, true spartan minimalism isn't for me. It isn't for most people! I like having fun things and unnecessary things and cool sweaters and ceramic knickknacks from the local pottery painting cafe.

What I do work to minimize is my mental to-do list. Fumio Sasaki's book Goodbye, Things: The New Japanese Minimalism is honestly a shallow read; the whole things reads like an Apple/Steve Jobs ad, and there's a lot of repetitive information. The Goodreads review section can testify.

However!!

The thing that stuck with me, and the piece that my undiagnosed OCD / logical brain can latch onto? There's this analogy he makes about how the objects you own create their own "silent to-do list" that can cause you mental distress.

My brain loves to fixate on these task items: things I own that need fixing, using, care, maintenance, or a special type of disposal. And I will say, not EVERY item needs immediate attention. That book could sit on its shelf unread for 5 more years because it's not in the way and I don't need that space for anything else, as long as I can reassure myself that no, it's seriously not something I need to stress out over and yes, I will actually enjoy it at a time in my life that I choose to enjoy it.

But some things on the list do need more urgent action, and that's where you have to take a good look at your silent to-do list and figure out what's causing you mental anguish that you DON'T need to learn to live with. The shorter the list is, the more space you have for the things that bring you happiness.

More about task items in the next tidbit!