#thought now that i'm finished with my degree i would go to the cinema more often | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

imminentinertia · 8 months ago

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Now that everyone's forgotten about it it's a great time to word vomit about Last Twilight, yes? But it was only recently I finally managed to finish the last episode of Last Twilight and I have Thoughts and I needed to digest.

I also have A Very Personal Frame of Reference for how I judge media dealing with blindness. What I have read about Last Twilight has been a lot of delight, a lot of disappointment with how the story went, analysis of colours and outfits and dialogue and narrative elements, but I haven't yet seen much about the depiction of vision loss. Soooo *cracks knuckles*

(I bet I've missed some posts about it, though. I'd like to be pointed to such posts)

As for me:

I had an older relative with severe vision loss thanks to untreated glaucoma (get your eyes checked regularly once you hit 40! Glaucoma is treatable).

I grew up with two friends who had lost an eye as small children - one also had severe vision loss in the remaining eye, the other had a well functioning eye. Actually I know more people my age who have lost an eye and I did then too, but I was close with these two and I guided the near blind one often.

I have a younger relative, someone very close to me, who gradually went from perfect vision to near blind. That's the most important person from everyone with visual impairment I've known, in this context.

Let's just say I had a beady eye (sorry) on Last Twilight when I first heard of it, since I have a fair bit of experience as friend, relative, guide and activist when it comes to visual impairment. I've tried moving about with a white cane and I've learned braille (I don't remember much, though). I've provided the audio commentary when watching films with blind people, more times than I can count (and I've explained several times, with various degrees of impatience, to seeing strangers that yes, blind people can enjoy the cinema). I know a fair bit about this, I believe.

Which means I'm rarely terribly impressed with media depictions of visual impairment and it's something I tend to focus on.

As for Last Twilight:

HOLY SHIT SEA'S AMAZING ACTING

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If anyone tries to claim he's not doing a fantastic job, they're objectively wrong. One may argue that artistic quality is subjective as it's invariably judged against a set of agreed upon conventions rather than true objective measures, but if you hold Sea's acting up against any agreed upon good acting and find it lacking, you need to look again.

I noticed him slipping (eyes focusing when they shouldn't) twice. Slightly. In the gif above, if a seeing character was delivering that line, the actor would focus on Jimmy when he turns his head. It's natural, there's movement and seeing people's attention is drawn to that, especially when it's this close to us.

Sea doesn't. He fucking doesn't. He looks like Day is concentrating and listening and feeling and he fucking doesn't even glance Jimmy's way even though that's what every cell in his human body wants him to. And that's just one of a million examples of how instruction, coaching and Sea's talent and effort offers up a Day that seriously seems visually impaired.

Sometimes, when a seeing actor is playing a blind character, they get instructed to - or choose - to go so unfocused that they look empty-brained. Some plaster on a vapid smile and/or Stevie Wonder head movements (you should know that Stevie Wonder turned blind very quickly after his premature birth, and he has no idea of how seeing people move. Adults who go blind are unlikely to move like him). Sea, however, looks like his brain is focusing but his eyes do not.

Day is intelligent and goofy and angry and bitter and worried and snarky-funny and sad and delighted and all of it shows on Sea's face, while his eyes look the part. It's so well done, I'm in awe.

Sea also moves exactly like my near blind younger relative and it's fucking uncanny. It's like seeing them. The often hesitant steps, the slight lean forward, the way Day uses his hands and fingers to figure out where he is and what is close to him, it gave me goosebumps. The way Day uses the remains of his sight to look at things is so like seeing my relative that I literally gasped the first time I saw it.

All the awards for Sea, please. And quite a few for Aof Noppharnach and the visually impaired acting coach. By the way, I never caught the coach's name, so if someone knows it I'd love to know.

HOLY SHIT A NEAR BLIND CHARACTER GETS TO BE COMPLEX

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That doesn't happen as often as one should think. When the story is about being/going blind, the blind character is often either a super brave little ray of sunshine, or terribly tragic. Day is neither. He is all of it. He is human. He's so well written it makes me need to chew on my fists, he has all the dimensions.

Mork is arguably a bit less rounded, but Mork wears quite a few masks, and he is absolutely a human being, not a pretty cardboard cutout.

HOLY SHIT A NEAR BLIND CHARACTER GETS TO DO REAL NEAR BLIND PEOPLE STUFF

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It doesn't happen as often as one might think. Fumbling somewhat, using a white cane (often in a completely meaningless way), wearing dark glasses all the fucking time - those are the staples of token blind characters, all too often. One of my favourite scenes in Last Twilight is actually when Day reads Morks contract, because it showcases a visually impaired person using his phone as a reading tool, perfectly real-looking. Well done! Kudos! Standing ovations! Now stop him there and don't let him do the stupid unnecessary breakup

Running with a seeing guide and using a phone for lots of text to speech/speech to text purposes. Going to events, libraries, bookshops, markets, parties. Going out to eat, watching a film. Day does all this with a caretaker's help for some, but not all of it. Blind people do things like this. They're not special little miracles for it, they're just people who hopefully have access to decent assistive products. Entirely too often main blind characters don't get to do many of these things. Entirely too often they're just vehicles for some inane moral of the "stay positive" variety, unless they're in a tragedy.

For the record, in the scene where Mork uses a white cane inexpertly, to put it mildly, it's quite obvious to me that Aof was aiming to show us Mork's sheer desperation. Mork's personality has extremes, and trying to put himself in a blind person's shoes and making it a lot of people's problem seems like something a distressed Mork could in fact do. The result is that he looks like a Bad Blind Character, but that's fine, just like the actors portraying those characters Mork doesn't know shit about what he's doing.

HOLY SHIT THEY DIDN'T MAKE DAY PERMANENTLY BLIND. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT

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Yes. Well. Day gets his vision back in order to live properly happily ever after. I was mad as fuck about that for a while, and about the incredibly stupid breakup and time skip. I'm still mad about the most useless breakup plot fuckery ever and the time skip, and the general clunkiness of the final episode, but I'm not mad anymore about Last Twilight not showing that blind people can have true happiness.

It's about the audience, eh. To an audience of almost exclusively seeing people (I assume), losing one's sight is a frightful thing and doesn't make for the happiest of happy endings, and Day's condition is actually treatable. So production gave him his sight back. It would have been a notch braver to not do that, but a sweet romance isn't necessarily here to be all that brave. They did a lot of good work with showing how Day could manage many things on his own, with the right aids, and when the vast majority of the audience can be assumed to be seeing, showing how near blindness isn't crippling may be good enough.

After all, people are ignorant about blindness and will offer to help only to grab hold of the blind person's arm and drag them along, which is BAD, but if you've seen that guy on Last Twilight do guiding right maybe you'll do that yourself, if your assistance is needed some day. Maybe you'll listen to what the blind person is saying instead of assuming they lost their brain along with their vision.

And it's always a hell of a lot more convenient to see than to be blind, so when you have a condition that can be fixed, go ahead.

Except for that one fucking doctor making it sound like Day had three months left to live while it was just another few months until his vision would go completely, and everyone in the room (Day, mum, Night, Mork) just accepting that, I think Last Twilight did a really good job of showing that while there are great inconveniences to losing one's vision it's not being sentenced to sitting at home and feeling helpless, like Day starts out. It did a great job of dealing with an overprotective mother and a terribly guilty-feeling brother, too.

I would have liked Day to stay blind and end extremely happy, and I think it's bit of a waste of a character to heal him from the very premise of the story, but I'm not angry. Not anymore.

Although I greatly disliked the happyhappyhappy seeing ending, I was annoyed with most of the dad arc and the speedrun Night/Porjai romance, I loathed the breakup part and I hated how Day never took responsibility for his own actions leading to the accident where he got the cornea damage (although I will grudgingly admit that it's actually something that lends a whole lot of realism to Last Twilight and to Day), all in all, I honestly loved this show. No show is flawless, and Sea's gorgeous acting alone is enough to make up for a lot.

I recommend this blogger on how to write blind or visually impaired characters, if you'd like to know (a lot) more.

#last twilight the series #last twilight meta #visually impaired characters in fiction #immy mutters about things

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inkykeiji · 3 years ago

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So I resumed reading bmb after procrastinating for liiike 4 months? Straight??. I'm in the middle of the 3rd part and damn, things seem to really be reaching their chaotic peak. And as I was reading, I just went woah. woahwoahwoah- Cuz?? This has got be one of the most cinematic-feeling bnha works I've read.

Like that scene when Tomura loses it and starts to smash the crystal, and it's like he's literally blending into the beauty of the surroundings as he bleeds into it? Oh wow. Got me having a fun thought like what if this was an actual movie?? Like I'm just imagining how captivated the audience would be by this scene!! Kinda rambling butyeahjustwow.

And the way you really take time to flesh out small, yet meaningful moments, like in that pill sharing moment with dabi?? aagghhhsdfg. It feels sort of intimate as I read, as if I'm standing close to the characters, watching it all unfold as I'm right next to them. My slow reading ass will probably finish reading in 3 more years lol can't wait. ♡

oh my gosh, this ask…..this ask means the fucking world to me <333

first things first, hello!!!!! i’m so so happy to see you in my inbox again!!! <333 i hope life has been treating you well, my sweet friend <3

secondly, WOW. wow wow wow wow wow, thank you so much, literally from the very bottom of my heart, for sending in this feedback. i appreciate it so very much!!!!!! i always love to hear the specific instances that stuck with any given reader and their own thoughts and emotions on both them and the piece as a whole, so this entire ask was such a treat to receive!!! thank you!!!

i always get super super giddy and warm any time someone calls my writing cinematic, because i love film with everything in me (it’s my second love; writing is my first hehehe) <3 i have a degree in cinema studies, and one of my big big big dreams in life has been to eventually write and hopefully direct my own films!!! i don’t know if i’ll ever make it there, but just hearing what you have to say has made my whole heart go !!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha <3

ah the crystal scene is my favourite as well!!!!! i think it’s honestly one of my favourite little bits i’ve ever written. it was one of the first scenes i wrote for part three, originally titled ‘beauty in the breakdown’, and i was so excited about it that i shared it with one of my best friends immediately ehehe <33 woah eh imagine if bmb becomes a film one day????? now THAT is a big dream hahaha (*/ω＼*) as a frequent breakdown-haver myself (tho i have yet to totally trash a room lmao), i’m really interested in exploring the beauty in madness, and the way it can sometimes be almost artful, this intense suffering and turmoil. it’s almost like,, the beauty in destruction; the grotesque and twisted beauty in inherently making something new as you destroy it. i hope that makes sense!!

oh gosh, thank you once again for such gorgeous feedback and compliments, and for taking the time to write them down and send them to me!!! aaaah i really love that interaction between the two of them, because as you said it really is intimate, for both the actual reader and the characters, and it marks a distinct turn in their relationship; a progression, a heightening. the morality in that scene in particular is so murky aaaaah i love it <3 oh please please take your time!!! no rush at all <333 i’m just super super super happy to hear that you’re enjoying it so much!! ♡(˃͈ દ ˂͈ ༶ )

#I LITERALLY CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR THIS OH MY GOSH #SUCH LOVELY AND WELL THOUGHT OUT FEEDBACK #AGAIN THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO SEND THIS IN!!!!!#oh gosh i am going to cherish this ask forever <333 #also sorry my response is so long waaaaaaah #okay okay i’ve rambled enough hehehe #just know that this means the entire world to me <333 and i appreciate you so much <3 #have a fantastic wednesday!!! please stay safe and stay hydrated!!#i am sending tons and tons and tons of love and health your way <33 #clari gets mail #✎ this is queued ▸ i’m at the zoo!#<3333333333 aaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!#that’s how i feel every time i read this ask <3333 oh i’m so warm <33

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selfcareparker · 4 years ago

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(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔�� but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

#lovely anon #<3333333333333 #‚‘it‘s literally longer than your german compound words‘ LMAODKDMSLDKSLKS #ignore the comma at the beginning of the last tag????#aww wait i just read what you said at the end of your tags🥺🥺💘💘💘#love youuuu #ooooof i‘m reading my response and do i not know what a period is? like period as in. full stop.#my sentences are literally paragraphs and i use keyboard smashes to separate sentences from each other like what‘s wrong with me???#or ‚lol‘ snd ‚lmao‘#imma need me to do better (did you listen to heavy is the head as a whole? like the whole album? the song do better is stuck in my head toda #today so)#i‘ll try to write normal length sentenced in the future💀#sentencessss*

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creambunnie · 5 years ago

Text

♡ Love You More ♡

WayV Xiaojun X OC (Y/N)

angst fluff . ENJOYYYYY

a/n : it has been a long time since i've written such a long imagine. i hope you guys love it!

you wrapped your finger around your mug of hot chocolate and had a sip as your boyfriend!Xiaojun stared at you lovingly. you placed your mug down and looked at Xiaojun with a nervous look. Xiaojun grabbed your hands and squeezed them gently.

"do you think i will make it?". you asked your boyfriend anxiously.

the both of you just graduated from college. Xiaojun already had a stable job at a big tech company, while you, who graduated with a performing arts degree , were auditioning here and there for dramas and shows to land on your first tv debut. you auditioned for romance, action and even horror! you didn't really care about the genre,you just wanted to experience the real deal and improvise yourself till you become a well-groomed actress.

Xiaojun rubbed your hand with his thumb and nodded his head. "i believe an actress as talented as you could make it! if they don't cast you though, it's alright. it's not you, they are the ones who are at lost.". Xiaojun comforted. you scrunched your nose up at his cheesiness and squeezed his hands.

"are you sure you're not just being nice to your girlfriend?". you asked. Xiaojun laughed and shook his head. "of course not! i really mean it. you are very talented! remember when you acted like you were in pain just to get a kiss from me?" . Xiaojun comforted again but didn't forget to tease you . you pulled your hands away and slapped his hand playfully. "ahh why did you have to remind me!". you whined which made him laugh with adoration at your cuteness.

after the short cafe date, you and Xiaojun went to the audition venue by cab . Xiaojun was your moral support. he had always accompanied you to your auditions and comforted you when you were rejected. he would motivate you to do your best and be better each audition.

you were at the waiting room, anxiously waiting for your turn. Xiaojun was sititing beside you while holding your hand in his to give comfort . you on the other hand, tried rehearsing your lines for the last time. you became more nervous when the staff told that you would be going in in about 2 minutes.

"ahh babe i am so nervous!". you mumbled as you faced your cute boyfriend. Xiaojun gave you a small smile and carresed your hair lovingly. "i believe in you , sweetie. you are going to do your best! i promise to treat you to ice cream later after your turn alright?". Xiaojun pecked your lips one last time before you were called. He gave you a soft goodluck as you followed the staff.

you were given quite a good feedback from the judges and they told you they would contact you about the results soon. you went out of the hall to the waiting room earlier with a good feeling. you were about to run and hug your boyfriend but was greeted by his close friend instead.

"oh Hendery! are you here for the audition too? oh and did you see Xiaojun?". you bombarded him with questions.

Hendery chuckled and rubbed his nape. "actually Xiaojun was the one who asked me to come here and walk you home. His mother called him earlier because of something urgent. he really is regretful that he had to leave . ". Hendery tried his best to explain to you as politely as possible. your head dropped as you stared at the floor below you.

"oh.. i understand. family is definitely more important. no worries!". you exclaimed as you looked up to Hendery.

Hendery frowned when he saw your teary eyes. He hated seeing his friend sad so an idea popped into his mind. Hendery grabbed your wrist and pulled you along gently. "times like this call for food! i am starving and i bet you are too! let's go!". you giggled and let Hendery drag you.

Hendery brought you to a small restaurant which was a few stops away from the audition venue. "i always come here with my sister. i'm basically a regular and kind of the owner's favourite,so order anything you want alright. it's on me!". Hendery said and winked. you chuckled at his actions but ordered anyways.

you actually had fun hanging out with Hendery. he was a sweetheart , and a dork too. he would crack jokes randomly which brightened your day up. you always hang out with Xiaojun and his friends but never with any of them individually. it was a refreshing experience eating out with Hendery. after talking and eating, it was finally time for you to go home. Hendery walked you home like how he was asked in the first place. you thanked Hendery for the day and apologised for troubling him. Hendery only responded by shaking his head no and smiled widely. he wished you a goodnight sleep before walking away . you smiled back and went in your apartment.

you lived alone since college years. your parents' house were quite far but you do visit them regularly and they visit you too.

you plopped yourself down on your bed and check your phone. you gasped when you saw text messages from your boyfriend. you were having too much fun you didn't even look at your phone.

♡BaobeiJun♡

hey babe.. i am really sorry but i have to go first. i asked Hendery to accompany you back home. stay safe <3

♡BaobeiJun♡

did you meet Hendery? how was the audition? text me as soon as you see this alright ♡

♡BaobeiJun♡

babe, are you mad? i am really sorry, i am going to make it up to you!

♡BaobeiJun♡

please reply me ㅠㅠ are you home yet? nothing bad happened to you right?

- 10 missed calls from ♡BaobeiJun♡ -

you sighed as you saw the texts. of course you were still upset about earlier. but you didn't want to be the annoying girlfriend and tried your best to pretend that you were okay.

To : ♡BaobeiJun♡

sorry for the late replies babe. i didn't check my phone earlier. yeah i am home, Hendery sent me home like you requested. he also bought me food because we were both starving. i am not mad, don't worry :)

you threw your phone on your bed as you changed into your pyjamas. a few seconds later, you heard your phone chime, indicating that you just received a message.

♡BaobeiJun♡

that is great! i should treat Hendery some time too to thank him. i am glad you are back safe. i was so worried when you didn't reply back :((

you chuckled and rolled your eyes at his text.

To : ♡BaobeiJun♡

i am really sorry hahaha , so you wanna tell me why you had to leave earlier?

Xiaojun then explained to you that his mother called him earlier to ask for his help. Apparently , his childhood friend, named Weiwei, was on a business trip here and Xiaojun's mother asked him to welcome her at the airport. you also got to know that the girl was going to stay at Xiaojun's family's place for a few months because renting an apartment would be bothersome.

you were now feeling more upset actually. he left your side because of another girl? and worse, the girl is staying with him for a while? you were furious, yes. but you were more insecure. you trusted Xiaojun but you just couldn't help yourself from being jealous. i mean, which girlfriend wouldn't? you were tired as you read his explanation and decided to end the conversation with a goodnight.

you switched your phone off and wrapped your whole body with your warm blanket. you tried getting rid of all the bad thoughts and fell asleep in anxiety.

you were woken up by the front door bell . you groaned as you sat up and checked the time. 10am. you groaned again and cursed whoever it was who disturbed your sleep as you walked to the front door. you opened the door but was greeted by no one. you groaned again thinking that it was just a prank but was startled when Xiaojun's head suddenly popped up out of nowhere. he leaned down so your eyes were parallel. he chuckled at your shocked expression and gave a peck on your cheek before inviting himself in. "i texted you but the messages weren't delivered so i figured your phone was dead. i came to really make it up for yesterday". Xiaojun explained.

you finally snapped out from your shock and grinned. you felt like your anger towards him yesterday evaporated just like that. you hugged him and buried your face into his chest. "you don't even know how much i wanted to hug you like this yesterday after the audition. i was overwhelmed with my emotions and the only one who could calm me was you. but you weren't there.". you mumbled sadly. Xiaojun felt guilty and carressed your hair.

"i am really sorry. i promised to treat you ice cream right? jajan!!" . Xiaojun pulled away and showed you the tubs of ice cream he bought.

"i was thinking of a movie-cuddling kind of date today.". Xiaojun said cutely as he tapped his chin with his finger. you giggled and pinched his cheeks. "i am up for it! but can you let me go shower first?". Xiaojun nodded and placed the ice cream tubs on the dining table. "sure, i will just prepare the couch alright!".

after a nice shower,you joined Xiaojun who was sitting on the couch with his phone. he put his phone on the table as he saw you approaching him. but you saw that he was texting Weiwei earlier. you decided to just ignore your jealousy and took the ice cream tub Xiaojun handed to you. Xiaojun then pulled you closer so you snuggled into his chest and enjoyed the ice cream. the both of you watched a romance movie and imitated the cheesy lines. you would giggle everytime Xiaojun peck your head when there is a kiss scene.

"you know, i heard that the 2nd movie is released next week!". you said and took a spoonful of your strawberry cheesecake ice cream.

Xiaojun hummed and pecked your head again. "it's a date then!".

you turned to him with a wide smile. "really?". Xiaojun chuckled and nodded his head. you squealed and pecked his lips. "i can't wait ! it's been a long time since we've went to the cinema together.".

Xiaojun carressed your hair lovingly before putting down his finished ice cream tub. "how about i go and take some blankets so we could cuddle here?". Xiaojun suggested. you nodded excitedly as you stood up to give him space.

as Xiaojun went to your room, you saw his phone lighted up . you peeked and saw notifications from Weiwei. you rolled your eyes and turned his phone around so you wouldn't get distracted. you quickly finished your ice cream and cleaned up before lying down beside Xiaojun. Xiaojun wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you closer. you leanee your ear on his chest and sighed in relief as you relaxed ,listening to his heartbeat. "i love you sweetie and i want you to remember that forever.". Xiaojun whispered and pecked your forehead. "i love you too baobeijun,". you whispered back. the two of you cuddled in silence and soon fell asleep .

it has been a few days after the cuddle date. you haven't really see Xiaojun after that because he was kind of busy with work. you did texted and called each other but you missed him being with you physically. you sighed and just decided to focus on your work. yeah, you has a part time job at a small bookstore. you still had to make income anyways. so while you practised to be an aspiring actress, you still worked hard in earning your own allowance and not only depend on your parents or boyfriend.

you were keying in some things on the computer when the bell chimed, indicating a customer's entrance.

"welcome!". you greeted as you saw a cute girl entered. you were about to ask if she needed help when the door opened again, revealing your handsome boyfriend. you gasped and smiled widely.

"Baobe--". your words were cut off when the cute girl earlier linked arms with Xiaojun. you frowned deeper when Xiaojun didn't even bother to push her away. you quickly gave a small smile when Xiaojun walked towards you with the girl and waved at you cutely.

"babe, this is Weiwei! and Weiwei, this is my girlfriend, y/n !". Xiaojun introduced. you forced a smile and stretched your hand out for a handshake. but your tired arm was ignored as Weiwei hugged Xiaojun's arm and whined. "when we were little you said we were gonna be together!". Xiaojun only chuckled awkwardly and rubbed his nape. he smiled apologetically to you in which you just shook your head . "Xiaojunjun! let's go eat!". Weiwei saidly in her high-pitched voice which hurt your ears. Xiaojun nodded and looked at you, who was looking at the couple sadly.

"i'll see you soon, okay babe?". Xiaojun said softly as if you were the most fragile thing there. you smiled and nodded. before you could speak, Weiwei pulled and dragged Xiaojun out of the store.

you wanted to just cry out loud but you held yourself back. Xiaojun has been to busy with work and couldn't spend even an hour with you but here he was spending his free time with another girl. you knew she was just a friend and you trusted Xiaojun. you love Xiaojun. but it hurt you how he was being oblivious of your painful heart . you decided to push aside the thoughts and focused on work. you were grateful there weren't many customers on that day . you were not really in the mood to entertain others . half an hour before the store closed, the bell chimed indicating a new customer. you continued packing up books and your things while the customer looked for their desired books. you were packing your bag when the customer placed books on the counter. "hi , i would like to ask if the last volume of this comic is still available?". you quickly turned around at the familiar voice. the customer blinked and chuckled. "i didn't know it was your shift ,". Hendery stated. you gave a small smile and nodded. "yeah i was just covering for my co-worker. ". you said softly. you quickly looked at the comic he was purchasing and keyed in the code in the computer.

"the last volume is sold out . but the new stock is coming tomorrow! you could come by if you like and i could reserve one for you.". you explained.

Hendery grinned and nodded. "sure,i'll purchase these first and come back again tomorrow!". after settling his books, it was finally time for you to lock the bookstore and head home.

you switched off everything and quickly closed the store down. you gasped when Hendery suddenly stood in front of you. Hendery chuckled at your reaction . "i was thinking of dinner. together?". Hendery suggested. you chuckled and shook your head. "i'm actually kind of fu--". your lie was cut off when your stomach growled violently. the two of you stared at each other before laughing. "alright, how about hotpot and some beer? at the same place!". you suggested this time. Hendery smiled widely and nodded. "i'm paying this time so don't worry about what you want to eat alright!". you said again . you tried making yourself happy but your lifeless eyes could never lie Hendery. Hendery decided to just play along with you and waited for you to open up yourself. he hated seeing his friends hurt but he hated forcing people more.

you were on your second bottle of beer, you were not really drunk but drunk enough to cry outloud the feelings you've been hiding since afternoon.

"i know she is just a friend but why is she getting more attention then me? your girlfriend? am i just dumb for crying or are you dumb? why does Xiaojun have to be so kind towards other girls? this is unfair!". you whined and downed another shot .

Hendery kept quiet and let you let out all your feelings. he thought it was finally time for you to cry out everything and feel better .

"Hendery, is it really childish and petty of me to be jealous like this?". you turned to your friend and slurred your words. Hendery only sighed and tucked your hair back behind your ears to have a clearer sight of your red face. "no i understand. you shouldn't feel bad for feeling this way. i can't help you much but i am here for you when you need me.". Hendery comforted. you nodded at his response before falling asleep right after . Hendery quickly stretched his arm out before you could knock your head on the table. Hendery sighed as he combed your hair neatly with his fingers. he understood Xiaojun for taking care of his childhood friend but he was disappointed Xiaojun made you feel like this. Hendery decided to call Xiaojun to pick you up. He felt like it was only right for him as a friend to help his friends out.

A few minutes later,Hendery tried waking you up. you woke up with a groan and clutched your head. "are you sober enough to walk?". Hendery asked as he held your shoulder. you nodded and stood up slowly. Hendery helped you and walked out of the restaurant with you . the moment the two of you stepped out of the restaurant, Xiaojun ran towards you . "babe!". he exclaimed as he took you from Hendery. your head was still spinning but you figured Xiaojun's face. you turned to Hendery as he gave you a small smile. "rest well, alright?". Hendery said before excusing himself.

"why did you drink so much babe?" . Xiaojun asked as he piggybacked you. you leaned your head on his back and sighed. "i was sad. i was angry. i was tired.". you replied word by word. you felt the wind as Xiaojun walked on the empty street, bringing you home.

"do you want to tell me why?". Xiaojun asked softly. your heart broke. of course you were sad and angry because of him. but his sweet and innocent self just couldn't realise that. "i love you Jun... i hope you do too. please stay with me.". you breathed out, holding yourself back from crying. Xiaojun stopped in his tracks for a bit but continued walking right after . "of course i love you too. i am here always, by your side.".

you fell asleep on his comfortable back as you felt assured.

you wore Xiaojun's favourite baby blue blouse and styled your hair simply with some light make up. you were excited for your movie date. you were at the cinema , waiting for your boyfriend. he promised to be there half an hour before the movie starts. but coming to 10 minutes before showtime, he was still not there. you tried texting him but the messages were not delivered. maybe his phone battery died, you thought. you tapped your foot nervously as you scanned the place for your boyfriend.

4 mins

3mins

2mins

1mins

showtime.

you sighed and held your head down sadly. *did he forget about our date?* . you were about to exit the cinema when someone called your name. you turned and were greeted by Hendery. he really was like your guardian angel. there whenever you were sad.

"are you here alone? what movie are you watching?". Hendery asked. you smiled sadly and shook your head. "today was supposed to be our movie date but Xiaojun is not here. i tried contacting him but he didn't reply. i think i should just go back.". you explained.

Hendery frowned at his friend's actions. He really was disappointed in Xiaojun.

"how about we watch a movie together? hmm i was thinking, Dora The Explorer?". Hendery suggested, trying to cheer you up. you chuckled at his unique choice of movie and nodded. "that is a great idea! let's go!". you agreed and grabbed his wrist to buy the tickets.

during the movie, Hendery suddenly heard soft sniffings. He turned to look at you and sighed . you were wiping your tears that were flowing down your cheeks non-stop. it was obvious you were crying because of Xiaojun, the movie wasn't even a sad one. Hendery grabbed your hands and squeezed them to comfort you. he then pulled your head to lean on his shoulder. "it's okay sweetie, it's okay. i am always here to comfort you.". Hendery whispered as he carressed your hair. his sweet words calmed you throughout the movie. you were sorry to Hendery for always being stuck in your relationship, but you were also grateful to have him as a good friend.

after the movie, you went to the ladies to freshen up . Hendery waited for you and invited you to dinner. "how about we go to the usual? i kind of like the concept of having our hangout place.". you said as you walked out of the cinema with Hendery. Hendery chuckled but agreed to your suggestion anyway. dinner made your day. you decided to totally ignore your thoughts about Xiaojun and spend quality time with your now new bestfriend. you and Hendery shared a lot of things with each other , from cute childhood stories to epic highschool memories. you also found out that the both of you were big fans of Attack on Titans and Tokyo Ghoul. Hendery promised to lend you his AOT mangas as you promised to recommend him other great animes and mangas. the day eventually ended with Hendery walking you home. "thank you so much for today Hendery. i am very thankful to have you as my friend.". Hendery smiled at your words and patted your head. "i am always here if you are im need of a friend. the restaurant is always open for us to have more fun.". you thanked him again and bid him goodnight as you entered your apartment.

you plopped yourself on the couch and fished out your phone.

♡BaobeiJun♡

omg babe... i didn't realise that my phone was turned off >○<

♡BaobeiJun♡

i overlooked the date for our movie date .. i am really sorryyy

♡BaobeiJun♡

my mom asked me to bring Weiwei around the city. i agreed because i thought our date is tomorrow...

♡BaobeiJun♡

i am really sorry babe,, please reply my messages

♡BaobeiJun♡

babe? i understand that you are mad at me...

♡BaobeiJun♡

are you at least safe back home?

you threw your phone on the couch as you stood up. you decided to just ignore his texts. you were really mad. not just because he ditched you on the most awaited date, but he ditched you as he spent time with another girl. you knew Xiaojun was just being kind but is he really dense to not draw the line? you didn't want your relationship to be ruined by a girl who suddenly appeared in your life. you thought your relationship with Xiaojun was strong , but recent incidents made you doubtful. you washed up and went to bed straight away.

you woke up the next morning feeling a bit better after a goodnight sleep. you were having your light breakfast when you heard a knock from the front door. you groaned as you weren't expecting any guests.

you opened the door only to push it back close as you see his face. but before the door could close fully, Xiaojun held onto it with his leg. "babe please let me in.". he begged. you contemplated for a bit but opened the door anyways. you quickly walked away before he could hug you. Xiaojun followed you to the kitchen as he called out your name softly. Xiaojun wrapped his arms around your shoulders but you harshly pushed him away and faced him.

"Xiaojun. i am tired. please, i am tired of being mad with you and settle my feelings with a hug from you. this is not that simple, Jun. i love you , i really do. but the amount of times you've hurt me in these 2 months is more than the whole 2 years that we've spent together..". you confessed.

Xiaojun tried to pull you into a hug but you rejected. you wiped the tears that were flowing down your cheeks as you continued. "why do you think i was drunk the other night? you think i wanted to feel depressed like that? you think everything was back to normal when you came to pick me up?!". you didn't intend to raise your voice at him but your emotions were unstable.

Xiaojun was startled at your outburst. he looked at you with teary eyes. you sighed as you sat on the floor and pulled your legs before burying your face in between them. your sobs echoed through the silent kitchen. you felt Xiaojun moving closer. he squatted beside you and wrapped his arms around your body before pulling you into his warm chest. "i'm sorry , i'm sorry, sshhh i'm sorry, i love you babe, i really love you . i'm sorry i hurt you, i love you really. i am here now and i promise i won't leave you.". Xiaojun whispered in an attempt to comfort your broken heart. you finally gave in and cried out into his chest.

a few moments later, Xiaojun carried you into your bedroom. he lied down beside you and pulled you closer. you buried your face into the crook of his neck and sniffed in his scent. you relaxed in his arms as you calmed yourself down. "i missed you so much,". he mumbled as he pecked your head. the two of you lied down in silence, enjoying each other's presence and calm breathing. Xiaojun was about to fall asleep when his ringtone startled the both of you. you slowly pulled away from him to give hin space to sit up. Xiaojun rubbed his eyes cutely as he searched for his phone. you couldn't help but giggle at the cute sight and although you were still a bit mad, you didn't hold yourself back from giving him a quick peck on the lips. Xiaojun froze at your sudden action before slowly reaching for his phone. he was used to receiving kisses from you but he was suddenly shy after the fight , his ears turned red . you giggled at his reaction and nudged him to do something about his phone. "i--i'll take this call for a while okay?" he stuttered. you nodded before lying down back on your bed.

after the short call, Xiaojun turned to face you with a guilty expression. "babe.. i really want to spend time with you but this is urgent. Weiwei is having troubles with settling her project and i have to go help. i am really sorry babe.". Xiaojun explained and apologised.

you sighed, just when you thought it was back to normal, everything was about to be ruined again. "it's urgent right? let me walk you to the front door.". you said as you got off the bed. Xiaojun gulped as he sensed your sarcasm. he followed you out of the room like a puppy. "i'm really sorry babe.. how about i take you on a date on Saturday?". Xiaojun tried to persuade you. you gave a small smile and pushed him out off your apartment gently. "i can't. i have plans.". you replied and quickly closed your front door. you heard Xiaojun knocked for a few minutes, begging you to open the door but he then stopped when you ignored him . you figured he finally gave up and went to settle his urgent matters.

♡BaobeiJun♡

babe... what plans do you have that i can't spend time with you?

you rolled your eyes at his message and were tempted to just throw your phone on the ground. he had been ignoring your daily life activities because of his own but had the audacity to suddenly act caring when you finally gave him the cold shoulder. you ignored his message and decided to text Hendery .

To : Huang Guanheng

hey Hendery, i was thinking if you could accompany me this Saturday? i am finally casted for the drama i auditioned for recently and this Saturday is our first shooting. i am quite nervous to go alone...

you waited for a few seconds before Hendery replied.

-Huang Guanheng-

oh sure!! just tell me the time and place ,alright?

you smiled at his response and quickly informed him the details. you were glad he didn't ask about Xiaojun . he really was a friend with good sense.

the day finally came. you met up with Hendery early and decided to get some breakfast together. "you can do it , y/n . don't be too nervous or else you wouldn't be able to focus. here drink some hot tea, to calm you down.". you thanked him for his advice and comforting words. after the short breakfast, the both of you went to the shooting venue.

the site for the rehearsed scene was outdoor. the hot weather was not really helping with your nerves. you practised your lines as much as possible as the stylists prepared you before you were called to the site. you were only a side character but your character actually plays quite an important role in the drama. Hendery gave you a supporting pat as your turn came.

you did a good job with your lines but your co-actor kept on making mistakes. because of that the scene you were in had to be filmed for a few times. you tried to be consistent in the quality of your performance but the hot weather made you exhausted. you were sweating like mad that the stylists had to wipe them for you every few minutes.

the director finally gave a break time, asking your co-actor to calm his nerves and practise his line again. you were glad the director was nice enough to be patient with him . if you were the director, you would have screamed at him. you saw Hendery waving at you as you walked towards him . Hendery's smile turned into a frown as he saw your pale face. he quickly caught you as you stumbled. "are you okay?". he asked as he tried supporting you to stand up straight. "i am a bit dizzy," you managed to reply as you clutched your head. just as you spoke, your body felt weak and you fainted. Hendery's eyes widened as he wrapped his arm under your body and carried you. "ambulance! somebody call the ambulance!" .

Hendery : Dejun, your girlfriend just fainted . she is admitted to the hospital now.

Xiaojun : what? tell me the hospital address, i am on my way.

Hendery : alright, come here safely .

Hendery ended the call as he sat beside your bed. he carressed your head and sighed. a few minutes later, Xiaojun arrived . Hendery stood up and greeted his friend. Xiaojun gave Hendery a brotherly hug and went to you who were still sleeping. he held your cheek dearly and pecked your forehead. "what happened?". Xiaojun asked Hendery softly. "she was at the shooting site earlier--". Hendery's words were cut off by Xiaojun. "wa-wait, she was casted ?". Hendery frowned and nodded. "didn't she tell you?" . Xiaojun looked at you sadly and hesitated a nod. "kind of...". Hendery nodded before explaining further. "she fainted after her turn. the doctor said she was too stressful and dehydrated . that was why she fainted. but the doctor said to not worry, a rest and lots of water can make her feel better.". Xiaojun sat beside your bed and held your hand. "i see, thank you Guanheng.". Hendery nodded and stood beside Xiaojun. Xiaojun stayed by your side till night. Hendery stayed too. he was worried about both of his friends . "Dejun.. you've been here since afternoon. why not we go take some fresh air and have dinner ? y/n wouldn't want you to fall ill too.". Hendery patted his friend's shoulder. Xiaojun contemplated for a while but agreed to his friend's suggestion . he pecked your hand for the last time before leaving the hospital.

"which restaurant is still open at this hour?". Xiaojun asked as he checked the time. it was late night. Hendery grinned and patted his back. "i know the perfect place.".Hendery sat on his usual spot while Xiaojun sat on yours. the owner greeted them and passed the menus. "Guanheng! you didn't come with your girlfriend today?". Hendery blinked at her question as Xiaojun stared at Hendery. "you have a girlfriend?". Xiaojun asked. Hendery shook his head and tried to reply the owner. "no no auntie, she is not my gi--". his words were cut off when the owner exclaimed. " ah y/n ! she isn't here today.". Xiaojun's expression was unreadable. Hendery gulped and shook his head. "may we just look at the menu and order ,auntie?". the oblivious owner smiled and nodded before going back to the counter.

"this is just a misunderstanding Dejun.". Hendery started as he stared at the menu that he had memorised by heart. Xiaojun was silent for a bit but smiled . "i understand Guanheng. don't worry. why not we just order?i am starving!!". Hendery knew Xiaojun was just pretending to be okay. Xiaojun and you were really soulmates. hiding your real feelings. Hendery nodded and ordered some food.

the meal was silent and calm. both too occupied with their own thoughts. after the meal, Xiaojun paid for the food and thanked Hendery once again. "why not you go home and rest? i will be with y/n.". Xiaojun said in a matter of factly. not really as a suggestion. Hendery nodded and bid his friend goodnight before going back home.

Xiaojun stayed with for the whole night. you woke up to see your boyfriend sleeping, head on the edge of your bed. you carressed his soft brown locks gently as you stared at his calm sleeping face. Xiaojun's eyes opened slowly as he sat up. he grabbed your hand and pecked them before asking. "are you feeling better ?". you only nodded and squeezed his hand. "did Hendery call you?". Xiaojun hummed in response. his other hand balled into a fist as he heard his friend's name. "the doctor said you can discharge after you eat your breakfast. he said to drink lots of water and rest well.". your eyes widened when you realised you were at job when you fainted. you quickly searched for your phone to check for any messages. "missing Hendery already?". Xiaojun asked with gritted teeth. you looked up from your phone and frowned. "what?". Xiaojun smirked and scoffed. "nothing.". you turned back to your phone and read the text from one of the staffs.

-we hope you have a good rest. we are sorry for not considering your condition , we will update you about the next shootings. for now, we just want you to have a good rest- .

you sighed in relief as you finished reading the text. you thought you were going to be replaced by another actress. you placed your phone down and looked at Xiaojun who was staring at you. "have you eaten?". you asked. Xiaojun shook his head and rubbed his face with his hands. "i'll eat later after sending you home. i don't have the appetite to eat.". you frowned at his answer and placed your hand on his cheek as you carressed them gently. "please eat well. i don't want you to fall ill.". you said softly. Xiaojun gave a small smile and nodded.

in the cab on the way to your house, you leaned your head on Xiaojun's shoulder as he rubbed your interwined hands with his thumb. you jumped when you heard your phone ring.

*incoming call from Huang Guanheng*

you looked at Xiaojun as he nodded his head letting you answer the phone.

Hendery : are you home?

You : i'm on my way home in the cab. I am with Xiaojun.

Hendery : that is great . rest well okay? and y/n .. did you not tell him about the drama?

you kept silent at his question. Hendery called your names a few times .

You : i will alright. don't worry .

Hendery : he is your boyfriend,he should know.

you nodded your head as if he was in front of you.

You : okay okay, stop nagging, gosh.

Hendery chuckled at your response and advised you one last time before ending the call.

Xiaojun squeezed your hand right after you kept your phone. you leaned back onto his shoulder before calling his name out softly.

"babe,, i wanted to tell you but i was mad the other day. i actually got casted for the drama that i auditioned for the last time.". Xiaojun was quiet for a while. he carressed your hand and pecked your forehead. "congrats babe. see, i told you you would make it. you are talented.". he whispered. you smiled and pecked his cheek as you thanked him. you decided to just relax in silence as the cab took you back home.

you plopped on your couch as you arrived home. Xiaojun locked the front door and joined you on the couch. you switched on the TV and searched for fun shows to watch. "hey would you like some tea?". Xiaojun offered. you smiled and nodded . Xiaojun went to the kitchen to make some tea for the both of you. he thought this gave him some time to gather his courage for the words he was about to say . he hoped the tea would calm the both of you before the storm comes.

he placed both cups on the coffee table. your eyes were still stuck to the TV as you sipped on the hot tea. you turned to Xiaojun when he suddenly lowered down the volume of the TV. Xiaojun gave a small smile as he reached for your hands. he gave them a squeeze before starting his speech.

"y/n. we need to talk. i don't think this is going to work between us..". you frowned at his words and remembered what he said earlier. "is this because of Hendery? Xiaojun. i've been patient for almost three months now when you have to entertain Weiwei but just because of your jealousy towards Hendery , you want to break up? Hendery is just a friend! ". you asked , obviously disappointed with him . Xiaojun shook his head as he pulled his hands away from yours. "it's not just jealousy, okay?!". you were startled when he raised his voice. Xiaojun sighed and ruffled his hair roughly. "it's not jealousy...". his voice was back to his usual soft voice. "it's a realisation. i realised that Hendery can take care of you better than I can . he treats you better than me. you deserve a man better than me.". you frowned at his what you would say nonsensical excuses.

"no... i don't want to break up with you. i love you Xiaojun! don't you love me too? you promised me you are going to be by my side always.". you said as tears trickled down from your eyes. Xiaojun wiped his own tears as he looked into your eyes. "i do.. i love you. i love you so much therefore we can't be together. i love you so much i don't want to see you hurt . i love you so much i want you to know that you deserve better. i love you... but we are not meant to be with each other.".

your palms turned into fists as you hit his chest. "you stupid jerk! that doesn't make any sense! if you love me, stay with me! don't give up on me!". you shouted as you hit him. Xiaojun grabbed your wrists as he pulled you into a hug. "i love you. this is for your best.". he whispered and pecked your forehead for the last time . Xiaojun stood up and went out of your apartment, leaving you crying on the couch.

- Xiao Dejun -

Guanheng, please take care of y/n .

Hendery cursed under his breath as he read the message from his friend. "what did this idiot do this time." Hendery mumbled as he rushed to your apartment.

Hendery arrived at your house a few minutes after Xiaojun left. the door was unlocked. Hendery quickly went in only to be greeted by your sleeping figure on the couch. he locked the front door and went to you. Hendery sighed as he saw you tear-stained face. he wiped your dry tears and carried you to your room. "she was just healing and you decided to break her again.". Hendery mumbled as he placed you on your bed. you stirred in your sleep and woke up slowly. you saw Hendery standing beside your bed with a worried look. he sat on the edge of your bed and held your hands. "he is an idiot. i am going to talk to him later alright? he is going to make this wo--". his words were cut off as you shook your head. "no Hendery. he is not going to turn back anymore. i know him. this is what he wanted. he thinks this is the best choice.". you tried to say but broke down right after. Hendery sighed and pulled your head towards his chest. "i'm here. i'm here. it's okay , just cry it all out. maybe this is for the best afterall. you are precious y/n and i am here to protect you always.". Hendery comforted you.

"and the best actress award goes to , Y/N !!".

the crowd cheered as you stood up from your chair, surprised that you had won the award. you bowed to your seniors and juniors as you walked up to the stage. you received the plaque from the announcer and went to the front to give your winning speech.

"first of all i would like to thank my parents for always supporting me . i thank my fans too for loving my works! i will work harder and improve myself better and better. i would like to thank those who i have worked with. without them, i might not even have the chance to be an actress and moreover, win this award. not to forget , i would also like to thank this amazing person, my friend, Hendery. thank you for being by my side all these years especially these past 4 years. he is a really good producer so check out some of his musics alright? lastly, thank you once again!". you felt your legs tremble as you went back to your seat.

♡Huang Guanheng♡

good job sweetie! and thank you for mentioning me, i am happy i could be by your side.

you smiled as you read his text. you looked up to the stage when you heard the MC called a familiar name.

"before we end the show, we would like to invite this show's biggest sponsor, from the company DJX , Mr Xiaojun , to accept our appreciation gift.". you gulped when you saw the handsome man on the stage. his previous brown locks were now blonde. his smile was still the same like before. but his features were more defined as he matured throughout these years. you gave a small smile when he looked at you and quickly looked away . *you've moved on y/n. don't give in to him.* you thought to yourself.

you were standing at a corner with a glass of fruitpunch, waiting for your manager to bring you back. you didn't really enjoy after-event parties but attended anyways out of politeness. you were looking around when you saw Xiaojun walked towards you. you looked up and accidentally stared right into his brown orbs. Xiaojun looked away as his ears turn red. it's been 4 years but you were still as beautiful as ever. he missed you. you still made his heart skip a beat. you smiled as he stood in front of you. "it's been a while, Xiaojun.". the way his real name rolled off your tongue hurt him . he nodded and finally looked at you. "so you and Hendery are together now?". he asked. you chuckled and shook your head. "he is just a friend. a brother. i told you before, didn't i?". you replied with a small smile. Xiaojun looked down sadly but looked back up to you. "y/n. i'm really sorry...". you chuckled again and patted his shoulder. "let the past be past ,Xiaojun. i actually wanted to thank you for all the bittersweet memories. they really help me alot in my acting . experience is what makes it easier to stay in character.". your words hurt him. like how his words hurt you 4 years ago. before Xiaojun could say anything, you were called by your manager. "oh looks like i got to go. see you when i see you!". you waved at him before leaving the ballroom.

Xiaojun sighed as he stared at your back walking away from him. he would be lying if he said he didn't regret leaving you. his life has been nothing but miserable after breaking up with you. he focused on work to distract himself but his soul was empty. before he could leave the venue, he heard the DJ introducing a song. "before leaving, the actress y/n had requested this song. she hoped all of you enjoy it.".

Xiaojun decided to stay and listened to the song you love .

I’ll love you more

If you’re gonna do that, don’t come to me

If a person like me is gonna be erased anyway

Our love that was written down on a white piece of paper

Was clear just like my tears

Just stay by my side for one day

Because this awkward break-up still feels like a dream

Love me a little more, don’t push me away

I’ll try to hide it and let out a sigh in this empty time

When your tears that filled my heart dry up a little

I will engrave you in my eyes

And let you go

Words that sounded affectionate like a friend

Words I want to hear several times a day

Words saying you love me

It makes my breath stop and heart race

But only your voice sleeps in my memories

Just stay by my side for one day

Because this awkward break-up still feels like a dream

Love me a little more, don’t push me away

I’ll try to hide it and let out a sigh in this empty time

When your tears that filled my heart dry up a little

I will engrave you in my eyes

Until you come back

You silently stop in place

With eyes, telling me not to forgive you

I guess this really won’t work

Now all there’s left is this crappy break-up

I try to catch you but you get farther away and disappear

Love me a little more, don’t push me away

I’ll try to hide it and let out a sigh in this empty time

When your tears that filled my heart dry up a little

I will engrave you in my eyes

And let you go

{ NU'EST - Love You More }

Xiaojun wiped his tears that flowed down without him even noticing.

♡BaobeiJun♡

i know it's too late... but i love you . i have always been loving you . i should've have loved you more instead of leaving you. i love you .

i hope you guys enjoyed this~ my feelings were overwhelmed when i wrote this hahaha anyways, do like and comment ! i love to hear to your feedbacks ♡♡

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

Text

Ava & James

Ava: So, campus bars Ava: Avoid entirely or cheap enough to make the cringe worth it? 🤔🤔 James: use your student loans wisely enough that cheap is avoided entirely Ava: Ugh 😏 I thought you'd give real advice if I got you off the clock James: go with your gut, option 1 James: you're not striking me as someone to base their social life around KCLSU's quiz night Ava: I love trivia like I love cheap white wine spritzers and school spirit James: knew you'd fit right in Ava: Can I put that resounding endorsement on my application then, James? James: it'll carry more weight if you accidentally add the I when you write my name James: but I didn't say that James: slip of the pen, that's all Ava: My lips are sealed Ava: There's plenty of time to meet him and double up on kudos James: I hear the girl's hazing rituals are savage James: stand you in good stead that will Ava: No one is scarier than a high school girl Ava: Nor as petty and sadistic Ava: I think I'll survive James: they've toned it down since that girl had a mental episode post head shave James: sure you will Ava: Very chic Ava: Do you wait 'til the UCAS app has gone through to drop the horror stories usually or are you really bad at this whole recruitment thing on purpose? James: it's my 1st time playing tour guide James: potentially I'm less than cut out for it Ava: I won't lodge a formal complaint Ava: Unless you're turning over DMs as feedback, in which case, awkward James: I won't be, some girls think I have more sway than I really do James: awkward indeed Ava: God Ava: Not even my first choice Ava: Though makes you wonder how effective attaching nudes to your cover letter would be James: they'd have to take that on a case by case basis Ava: 🤞 that you don't get the one token woman on the panel James: not your 1st choice, no need to cross anything Ava: Hypothetically, James II Ava: Why was it yours, then? Ava: Student life evidently not being it James: it was my only James: it's gonna end up being Teddy's too Ava: He hasn't turned up to business studies in time Ava: But slip of the pen, I get you James: my older sister got all the brains and none of the sense of fun Ava: Know the sort Ava: Bet I still likes you better though James: I wouldn't go that far Ava: Too far for a taster sesh Ava: Understood Ava: Don't suppose you'll point me in the direction of where you actually hang now then? James: I suppose I could Ava: Please Ava: Bored is an understatement Ava: I'll still show up all present and correct for the debrief thing tomorrow James: it's such a good thing here isn't your 1st choice Ava: You should give me the real tour Ava: I'll keep my lips sealed James: can't I get another please before you do? Ava: Please do not invite your brother Ava: He got us kicked out of Mahiki last month it was so tragic James: he's a disgrace Ava: Most of them are James: I don't associate with anyone who still goes to Mahiki regularly Ava: It's pretty played out James: if they'll let Teddy in they're getting desperate Ava: 😂 awh James: you ready now? Ava: Already out Ava: Figured you better pick me up from The Vault Ava: Consider it a mini hazing of my own James: keep your lips sealed that I'm going within 100 yards of the place and sure Ava: Don't worry Ava: The others are at the cinema or something equally as lame the school put on for our 'overnight entertainment' Ava: I'm sick Ava: No selfies James: the hangover'll make it look & feel convincing Ava: That's a promise you can put your wallet behind Ava: I am a guest James: you don't want put your fake ID on the line either Ava: Bold of you to assume I've ever needed to buy my own drinks 😏 Ava: I didn't bring it alright, shut up James: you don't need it, I'm only playing Ava: 😾 James: how many drinks has my brother bought you? Of course I need to 1 up him Ava: Total? Ava: Not as much as he'd like but lots Ava: Not trying to milk this sibling rivalry or anything, have known him ages Ava: Well before Mahiki would let him in, like James: hardly a rivalry, you know him well enough to realise Ava: True Ava: You do what feels right and I'll let you know by the end of the night then James: very straightforward James: I like it Ava: You don't know me well enough yet but that's par for the course James: I knew your brother for years & I didn't know him James: we'd need more than an evening Ava: I'm as comparable to my brother as you are to yours Ava: Probably James: show me, I'll show you Ava: Deal Ava: But we will need more than an evening Ava: to make it fair James: you can have until you're bored Ava: You'll want longer when you aren't anymore James: I'm used to things not lasting as long as I want Ava: I'm not your average Ava: You'll see James: bold of you to assume I've ever settled for average Ava: I didn't say THE average James: I heard you say my average Ava: No need to be offended by better, is there? James: bemused at most Ava: You're welcome Ava: but you are meant to be entertaining me, not the other way 'round James: you brought up fairness James: & it's a good point Ava: How do you propose we make it fair then? James: I entertain you tonight, you entertain me whenever you've thought of your own tour worth taking me on Ava: That's actually a good idea Ava: and entirely fair James: Teddy'll cost my dad more to secure his place than I did, I've got some brains on board Ava: No doubt Ava: Gave his name to the right kid, clearly James: My sister was undoubtedly relieved James: though Diana has its own pitfalls Ava: 😬 The jokes write themselves James: they do Ava: Perks of having a relatively untouched name James: it does suit her, she's very much a martyr Ava: Did you do an English degree? Ava: You're good at painting a picture with words Ava: See 👸 so clearly James: sadly not James: maybe I'll go back & do it if I ever finish the current one Ava: Student forever vibes Ava: Fuck real life James: then again, being the kind of dad who drops their kid off for classes & pulls up his own chair at the table doesn't sound like a great idea Ava: Just make sure its not their first choice, yeah? James: oldest's already smarter than me James: won't be a problem Ava: There you go then James: where's yours? Ava: Currently undecided Ava: It's more a case of sorting the 2-5 James: & how's that going? James: this place being a solid 5th Ava: Its been a solid mix of fun and boring working it out Ava: Better than another night in Mahiki at any rate Ava: I'll have to decide eventually but even my mum can't demand I do quite yet James: don't over complicate it James: they're not all that different James: I've got friends studying all over the map and they're still basically doing the same things I am Ava: See, that's what I figured Ava: But try telling that to a woman who was Cambridge or bust Ava: It's more about the vibe of the place, the people, the ethos and the lecturers not being the worst stereotypes of boring/creep Ava: again, if I tell her vibe is on my criteria she'd actually kill me before I could apply anywhere so 🤷 James: your secret's safe with me James: even if our mothers were friends, mine is currently not speaking to me Ava: How's that? James: it's something I'm fairly used to James: she's not a big talker James: more of a fan of a dismissive hand gesture Ava: Gotcha Ava: Not a whole lot to miss James: she's got lots to say about my parenting style but who hasn't Ava: Shame you don't talk to my brother now James: I don't suppose he sees it as a shame Ava: Probably not Ava: He's not one for regrets James: me either James: it's why we started out friends Ava: Feels like ages ago Ava: Since he still lived here James: it kind of is James: he left before he left Ava: It's complicated James: it's not my business Ava: Not mine either so Ava: Whatever James: car's here James: are you going to make me get out for you? Ava: You're meant to come in here Ava: Don't you trust I can keep my lips sealed? James: I don't trust it to be entertaining in there James: hence it's not part of the tour Ava: Please James: Oh Ava James: [but does come in we all know he would] Ava: [clearly making him stay for a drink and play pool or something in this student ass bar] James: [when you're whipped for someone you're not even dating lol] Ava: [When Chloe is your missus] James: [to be a fly on the wall in their relationship tbh literally imagine] Ava: [oh lordy how you have not been missed girl] James: [at least the new kid is young enough she can dress it up still and it can't talk back so she can pretend she gives a shit and isn't blowing his phone up rn] Ava: [in full show-off-to-all-my-friends mode still, somehow still has some lol] James: [lord when you don't even like and comment on pics of your own child anymore though bye do not approve of your aesthetic choices Chlo] Ava: [so awkward, when you only get a look in for the boring/hard bits] James: [basically just get to parent Jay cos she's well over that] Ava: [poor James tbh] James: [have your fun now lad I don't blame you even though everyone else will] Ava: [lord people gonna be SO mad] James: [how far we gonna take this during the tour cos obvs flirty vibes been flying about but like he can't just jump her cos married and she's younger] Ava: [she fully initiated this whole thing lbr but maybe don't sleep with him yet babe as you are aware he's married and has kids so like, some thought even though you young and reckless that, he could always stop it at a makeout 'cos then how embarrassing for her and she'd have to leave it for a bit like what was I doing, angst etc] James: [I vibe with that cos they are gonna be drinking a lot as the night goes on so that'd make both of them give less of a shit about the consequences but because the night is going on eventually chlo is gonna be like are you coming home ever because I like to think he hasn't cheated since she got pregnant with this kid and has actually been trying even though he's miserable af clearly] James: [like maybe it was really bad before and he was actually gonna leave her so she was like simply must trap him and did] Ava: [v much a her move I support it] James: [yeah cos she's invested this much time into him she's not just gonna let him go easily] Ava: [when you have no idea what you've signed yourself up for here babe] James: [I'm rooting for them rn cos nobody else is and I'm 100% that bitch, must not get invested yet when we've only just begun] Ava: [same tho so whoops] James: [he'd be so into it though too we all know that makeout would be 💣🔥] Ava: [hence breaking it off would be hard af, Chloe gotta be blowing his shit up to the degree he thinks maybe one of the kids is hurt lol] James: [literally Chloe is the teenage girl in this situation, girl chill out] Ava: [I'd feel bad if you hadn't also cheated loads and trapped him in this sham life soooo, grant you idk how much Ava knows of that rn but she'd clearly have a rep] James: [yeah I feel like Ava would be knowing some shit cos same circles and Chlo ain't slick plus like he's gonna eventually tell her cos god knows he needs someone to talk to] Ava: [we will get there boy] James: [at least it'll be less awks for her cos it'll be obvious that he didn't wanna break shit off and how hard it was to do] Ava: [there was obvs a vibe to pursue in the first place, still tomorrow morning lmao] James: [he'd so go too hard pretending she doesn't exist like nobody's picked up on the vibe and it ain't obvious okay boy] Ava: [I hope there's some other drama gone down on this little excursion so yous can fly under the radar, someone hold hands at the cinema lol] James: [shit like that always happens don't worry you two] Ava: [thank God for teenage shenanigans when you out here homewrecking on the low] James: [you should do some Chlo texts at me for the lols even if I don't reply cos busy lol]

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