#thought i'd leave out the angst for a change and celebrate this peak dynamic :'))))

[mobius-m-mobius]

Lokius + Season 1

- @mcuchallenge - 1st Semi-Final: LOKI vs. WandaVision

[lovingbini]

pairing: bang chan x female reader

wc: 1.3k

genre: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, established relationship

content warnings: chan is bisexual, implied love triangle drama (i'm sorry), insecurities, slight suggestive, communication!!!!!!!!!

a/n: this is part of the drabble list i have in my drafts. i thought i'd publish it unfinished, but i'm okay with the result (i can always comeback and change something). english is not my first language, i'm not apologizing for eventual grammar mistakes. thank you for reading!! drink water! mwah :]

the party was prettily decorated by chan's family, as the new year was their favorite holiday. you loved their family dynamics and how dedicated they were to each other. it was your second year celebrating away from your family, but you couldn't be more relieved to find a second home with chan's parents.

this year, however, more people joined the party. friends, aunties, uncles and cousins from abroad were the reason for a bigger venue to be rented. that was far from being a problem to your in-laws, who happily set everything up full of anticipation. things started going down when one of these cousins approached your table as you talked to chan's mother.

"you're chan's girlfriend, right?", he asked.

"yeah, i'm y/n," you replied, smiling. "what gave me away?"

"i figured. i rarely find someone looking at other person with so much love in their eyes."

"see? that's exactly what i was saying yesterday!" chan's mother pointed. you laughed, shaking your head no.

you found chan not too far from your table, he was at the bar talking excitedly with another guy you're not familiar with. but given the light expression he had, the smile barely leaving his face, you knew he was having a great time. your heart couldn't help but flutter with the scene.

"look, she's doing that face again," the cousin brought you back to reality.

"okay, stop! can we change the subject?" you pleaded, covering your face.

"alright, alright. see that guy with chan at the bar? you know he's his first love, right? they are each other's first love, to be specifc. their ways parted during middle school, that's when they promised to end up together even if they find plenty of significant others in life."

you raised your eyebrows, genuinely curious.

"isn't that a deal we make when we're reaching thirty or something?" you laughed.

"well, they haven't talked much since then, but look at how happy they are to meet up."

your eyes reached them once again, not a hint of worry in your heart. whatever intention that random cousin had, it didn't bother you. hence, there was no reason for you to feel insecure at all.

"stop with the nonsense. he's engaged," chan's mother explained.

"oh no, no. they broke up right before he came back home."

[...]

the overthinking only started two weeks later, when you noticed the patterns. they'd spend too many time together hanging out to remember old times. places he never took you to, foods you can't eat - and chan knows it -, therefore you didn't join them. then chan forgot his habit to pick you up at work with his bike, which is one of the peaks of your day, even the longest ones. but he didn't come. the excuse arrived hours later with a call, "sorry, dear, we were bike racing at the park. you know how worked up i get with competitions, didn't even notice the time flying by."

"it's okay, babe. just let me know next time, traffic gets pretty hectic when i leave..."

"i know, won't make you wait again. i love you!"

you giggled, "love you too. now tell me more about that competition of yours."

[...]

he forgot again. started being late to your dates. got easily distracted by his phone. you knew chan like the palm of your hand, you knew he was genuinely having the time of his life with his friend. but nevertheless, he was neglecting you for the first time in four years. even though he was with you, his mind seemed to be elsewhere, anywhere but with you.

"chan," your gloomy voice reached his brain, startling him. suddenly, it was like a siren started ringing. you were curled up on the corner of the couch right by his side, but the distance felt bigger, somehow.

"yes?"

"it's been really fun with him, right?" your smile didn't reach your eyes.

"for sure, it's nice to hang out with such a long time friend," he replied. "he's leaving next week, remember?"

deep down he knew something was wrong. his reassuring wasn't enough, he was aware of that.

"i'm fine if you want to hang out with him until then. you don't have to make the effort to spend time with me, it's exhausting for both of us."

"what? no, of course not." chan put his phone away and got closer to you.

"i'm not comfortable feeling like i'm interrupting something..."

"is it about what my cousin told you? we were just kids, dear. we actually joke about that nowadays."

"yeah, i know. but i see how you act when you're with him... reminds me of how you were when we started dating."

chan lost his words. he couldn't believe things got to this point, the worst is that he didn't know how to make you believe he didn't mean any of this.

"i won't ask you to choose between the two of us, it wouldn't be fair," you said in a small voice. "your parents already noticed, not that i'm a good liar anyway."

"y/n. baby, please, don't do that." he reached for you hands, afraid of what your eyes were telling him.

"we're not breaking up, i just think you should focus on who's making you feel better right now. i've got a lot of work to do, so i'll be taking care of my own life while he's still here," you stated. "i know you're not trying to hurt me, i just need this moment to get myself together."

"i'll try my best to give you that space, but just know that i'm ready to reassure you every single day," he claimed in a careful steady voice. "i've been loving you for more than four years, this is not something that even a long time friend with some kind of romantic promise is capable of changing. i love you, y/n. there hasn't been a second in the last month that my love for you wavered. you're the only person to have my romantic feelings, and i failed to show you that."

trying your best to control the sobs, you let go of chan's hands to cover your face, soaking your shirt in the process. "can i hug you, dear?"

"please," you replied, ready to be surrounded by his warm body.

chan waited until you settled down, his own heart feeling calmer.

you cleared your throat, finally able to talk again, "i have no doubts on us, chan. it's just that... i got so, so scared when i realized how endeared you are by him. i got scared that your connection was stronger than ours. i love your parents so much, i don't know what i'd do if we broke up."

chan chuckled, "oh, i see. it all make sense now."

"they're such comforting people, i panicked with the thought of losing them to your friend," you admitted, pressing your smiley face on his chest. "he's really cool too, i understand why they like him."

"yeah, he is. but i guess my parents didn't mention the biggest party of their lives, right?"

"not that i remember. what is it?"

"our wedding."

you raised your head so fast that it surprised him. chan was laughing, meanwhile your blood pressure went crazy.

"that's not funny."

"what? don't want to marry me? that's quite offensive. it would be a great opportunity to tell everyone whom i belong to," he teased.

"of course i want to marry you, i just don't want to own you," you explained, leaving a small kiss on his neck.

"oh, you don't? i thought we talked about this before," his tone changed as he positioned you on his lap. chan cleaned the remaining tears off your face and pulled you closer.

"are we really doing this right now? with my face looking like this?"

"well, i mean, if you still want me."

you bit your lower lip, getting comfortable over him, "i'm always going to want you."