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ybklix · 9 months ago

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𝐂𝐫𝐲 𝐁𝐚𝐛𝐲 ♡ 𝐃𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 ₊⊹

CRY BABY .♡⊹ (( bang chan )) mdni this is part 1 » FIC MASTERLIST

Chapters:

1: cry baby ((word count: 4.1k))

2: dollhouse ((word count: 3k))

⋆˙⟡♡

ONE: cry baby

you're all on your own and you lost all your friends, you told yourself that it's not you, it's them ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

It didn't matter how long the journey had been; when it came to reaching his hometown, fatigue and jet lag ceased to exist for Chris once his body felt the air of Australia. He had arrived at a wonderful time, with time to arrange things in his new home and visit his girlfriend.

Chris picked up his phone and sent a text to his girlfriend letting her know he had arrived and that he'd pick her up after work. There were still a couple of hours left, so he decided to order a taxi to take him to his new home. He had planned his stay in Sydney carefully and thoughtfully, considering every angle. It favored him quite a bit; his girlfriend of two and a half years lived here, he could continue working from the comfort of home, and he could pick up extra jobs that he didn't completely dislike. Indeed, for Chris, working hard and keeping his mind occupied was always better.

Everything was going quite perfectly that he couldn't help but smile. He bought his dream house a couple of months ago and had since begun his official move, moving his entire life from Seoul to Sydney. Returning, for him, was something he hadn't expected. He found it almost funny that after all his effort, he returned to where it all began, where everything started as a simple dream. But all his sacrifice had yielded excellent results since he had a steady job and stability, doing what he loved most, writing and producing music. When he announced he had to leave, his colleagues almost tried to stop him. He was quite successful and famous as a producer, but they understood that he could continue working, just not in that distant country anymore.

Chris looked at the beautiful landscapes the city offered through the taxi window. He was so excited that once he spent the afternoon with his partner, he would consider immediately go to visit his family. A long day awaited him, but he knew it would be worth it.

Buying a house in a neighborhood like this, spectacular in every aspect, suitable for childless couples, professionals, and simply for families, whose children rarely went out to play and make noise, and for retired elderly people living alone, was just what he needed, a large space just for him, even though it wasn't part of his plan; but suddenly a change in his life and routine sounded so good. Chris didn't know exactly why a house and not an apartment, to start with, as he had in Seoul; not even his own father understood it, Chris just excused himself saying he needed to own a more spacious place where noise could easily be canceled out, for the construction of his own recording studio... but inside him, perhaps there was a certain instinct that he wanted to start a family soon, he knew exactly that this wasn't his girlfriend's idea, not even as a joke, but maybe, just maybe, there was a tiny feeling like that in him.

Once entering the neighborhood, he felt the warmth of living in Australia again despite it being a slightly cool afternoon with the sun hiding behind the clouds. He never thought he would come to this place; he always believed he would live in Seoul for the rest of his life; he was so excited to start a new life but still leaving aside illusions, if something went wrong, he knew he could flee to Korea whenever he wanted... but he wasn't like that, he was never the type of guy who just run away. In fact, he thought that he left Sydney to pursue a dream, never by choice; it would be a lie to say he didn't like Seoul since it was his home for a long time... but once he could see the green grass, the well-kept roses of the people, he realized he had disconnected a bit and had lived in the noisy city long enough. This was what pleased him the most, nature, and if he wanted more buildings and noise, the city center wasn't far from his new address.

He stood there for a few seconds admiring the facade of his new home and noticed a teenage boy entering the house next door, they must be the neighbors, he thought. When he was initially given a tour of the house, as he stepped out onto the sidewalk, a woman welcomed him, told him her name but Chris didn't remember it, she mentioned that she lived with her family and other things like how much they had started to remodel and modernize that house. Still, he felt strangely safe, the distances between the houses were large enough to provide privacy, to his right was that family he supposed consisted of the teenager, and to his left was an older widow, or at least that's what the real estate agent told him.

He sighed in frustration at the sight of the pile of boxes scattered around and thought that he didn't have enough time, but fortunately, he was always prepared and a step ahead, so the interior designer would come tomorrow with her team to help her move stuff. He had to prepare as soon as possible for the start of his new job in the morning, as a professor at the university. He would teach two subjects related to music at different levels, and a few courses about Asian culture. He was nervous, but he had become a teacher in his spare time, and he felt quite prepared for whatever he might face.

He was hesitating whether to take a nap or move a few things in case Leah, his girlfriend, wanted to come; Chris ran his hand through his hair, thinking, so he opted for the second option; he cleared the living room area, tidied up, cleaned a few things, took a shower, and without thinking twice, it was time to pick up Leah.

He took the keys to his new car, really taking seriously the idea of living in Sydney and being well prepared. Ready to have a new life. He felt tense when he realized that he would be driving in Australia again and that the steering wheel was on the right side, unlike his old home where he had obtained his license from a very young age. Still, he set his GPS and left; this time, as he passed by the house next door, he now noticed it was a girl entering the house.

When he finally picked up his girlfriend, the sky was completely dark, and he noticed how tired she looked; Chris felt slightly bad and reproached himself for not thinking earlier and not bringing her a small romantic gesture of welcome, even though he was the one who had just arrived. They hadn't seen each other for a long month, he missed his girlfriend so much that it almost physically hurt not to be with her. A few seconds later, Leah's expression softened, and her serious demeanor turned into a warm smile.

“Channie” she called him affectionately by his Korean nickname, almost in a sigh, and extended her arms.

Finally, they hugged for just the right amount of time and exchanged a tender kiss. He had met her almost three years ago in Seoul; she worked in advertising for a magazine and was somewhat related to the entertainment world, so her social circle was so similar to Chris's; like him, Leah had grown up in Australia with Korean parents, the only difference being that she did have her whole life back in Oceania; still, he was captivated by her at that party, she was only two years younger than him, Leah at that time was just a beginner still in college on a trip in Seoul with her other circle of friends, and he was a recent graduate with a special gift. Despite the differences, they decided to give it a try, leading them to a long-distance relationship for just over two years, but it didn't matter now, at least not anymore for him; right now, he was with her, and he could have her whenever he wanted.

Chris, or Chan to her, caressed his girlfriend's face as he gave her a gentle kiss, breathing in her perfume one last time before pulling away and lowering his hand to her bare thigh with a smile.

“Do you want to go out to eat? Should we go somewhere...?” he spoke.

“Mm, let's order food and you can show me your house.”

“It's still a bit of a mess” he warned.

Chris let out a small laugh and did exactly as Leah had suggested. She had been inside the house before, but she was always surprised at how well laid out it was in terms of space and design. He found her reaction endearing and with a smile on his face, he thought about how all of this might one day belong to her too. They both headed to eat at the small and only nightstand table in his TV room; some larger items were arriving tomorrow, so for now, that was what they could improvise with. As they ate, Leah kept talking about how stuff should be arranged to create harmony and coherence in the house. Chris listened attentively and lovingly; they talked about their respective jobs and what awaited them.

After sitting in silence and letting the food settle for a while, Leah spoke.

“Is your room upstairs...”

Chris turned to look at her; not seeing her for a long time suddenly had a quick effect on him, and from one second to the next, he found her ten times more attractive.

“Yeah, do you want to give it your approval?” he replied playfully, hoping this would lead to something else.

Chris looked at her profile for a few seconds before she turned and gave him a teasing smile in response. He examined her, from her smooth, slightly upturned nose and her legs barely exposed by the skirt, to her shiny, loose silk blouse. Suddenly, every detail of her drove him crazy and made him feel like a hormonal teenager. He wanted to fuck her right there, right now.

He felt that her mischievous smile and soft gaze were enough signals for him, so he dangerously leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. He started slow and passionate, his right hand traveling up to the hem of her skirt, playing with the thin seam, unsure whether to slide his hand gently between her thighs or do it quickly in one swift motion, while the other hand firmly held her waist. Chris was gradually losing himself, his tongue slipping in, giving her a bolder, dirtier kiss; however, after a torturous session of just wet and hot kisses, Leah squirmed out of his grasp and pulled away from him slowly.

Chris looked confused, but his girlfriend's expression only worried him. With her pink, swollen lips, Leah suddenly seemed shy, with her eyes cast down. In seconds, Chris realized that maybe it was just something she didn't feel like doing right now, and he respected that... but it still seemed quite strange to him. Had she pushed him away? Since when did she reject him? Every time they saw each other, because of their painful long-distance relationship, the most intense and pleasurable sex awaited them.

Chris wanted to believe that maybe it wasn't the best situation for her, tired in her work clothes after a long day.

“It's a bit late... and we both have to work tomorrow” she said, raising her gaze and captivating Chris's gaze, “You'll do great, love” she smiled.

He knew her so well, he didn't understand why she suddenly gave him an awkward smile pretending to be kind... Had something bothered her, and he had no idea? He wanted to ask her so many things, but Leah stood up from her position on the floor and grabbed her bag.

“I really need to rest, and it's getting late. See you tomorrow?” she interrupted.

Chris quickly got up and gently took her waist.

“Of course, I'll drive you home.”

As they got into the car, Chris looked at the completely quiet street, with no noise, the houses perfectly illuminated, there was no one outside except for the two of them and the mysterious girl next door coming out of her house with the cold wind blowing her hair.

During the drive, Leah became herself again, outgoing and energetic. She told her boyfriend how they should spend the short break he had as teachers in September; he just thought about how grateful he was to have a sweet moment with her and looked at her with tenderness when the traffic lights indicated he should stop... yet, he was a little hurt, deep down, slightly bruising his pride as a man that he didn't get any physical intimacy from his girlfriend that night... he had waited so long, he thought he could reward her, and when his house is no longer a mess, he would make sure to satisfy her and shower her with gifts.

“I'll see you tomorrow, Chan” she leaned in, giving him a quick goodbye kiss, “Call me.”

Again, for the third time that day, she felt strange to him. It was obvious she wouldn't be the same young woman she used to be, capable of throwing a party every time they saw each other... but he felt there was something about her that she had to tell him as soon as possible, or he would go crazy. It wasn't surprising, Chris was an intense guy.

Once he returned home, he threw the keys with fury... he had tried to keep his sanity, but the more he overthought it on the way back home, the less sense it made to him. She didn't anger him, never could he be angry with her, it just, maybe, he thought, it was about him.

He went up to his room, in one swift movement he took off his shirt, feeling the cold air seeping through the small opening in his window. He checked the time on his phone, 11:43 p.m., he needed to rest, to take a shower in the morning and start his day... but he could only think about the romantic date options he could do on a simple Monday.

As he took a few steps towards his bed, approaching it, he noticed through his window how a faint, warm light, not so noticeable, managed to penetrate into his dark room. He turned his body and cursed for not remembering to put up curtains before; for a moment, he felt sorry for not realizing that significant detail, he was so used to the large windows in his old apartment in Seoul restricting the view. It was obvious that there was another room, right next to his.

Chris didn't want to pay attention, but catching the subtle silhouette of a girl sitting by his window captivated him inconsistently. She was wearing a thin white tank top despite the cold weather. He thought about how warm her room looked while giving it a quick inspection. The girl had her face buried in her naked knees, and her loose hair covered her face; her arms embraced her legs. Suddenly, she pushed her hair behind her ears, revealing just her profile. Yet it wasn't hard for Chris to see that she was crying. Her cheek was shining, wet, and he could see the small tears sliding down.

The girl by the window began to sob, causing her back and chest to contract. Chris suddenly didn't want to watch; he felt like he was invading her privacy and pain. But somehow, he couldn't stop watching her; he was so dismayed, but he was more bothered by the fact that he couldn't take his eyes off her.

He had no idea how long he had been watching her... but somehow, deep down, he thought, in the most hidden part of himself, that she looked strangely beautiful crying. The large rectangular window frame captured that girl with glowing cheeks and slightly messy hair, crying in what seemed to be a corner with books and a seat by the window.

The girl by the window closed her eyes tightly and slowly lay down, facing away from Chris's window, ending the performance completely. Finally, he reacted; she was still sobbing, her back moving uncontrollably, but it was harder to see her now.

Chris didn't know what had come over him; he almost felt annoyed that his neighbor didn't put up her own curtains. He could see everything, from his bed, which was positioned so that it faced his room directly, to his posters on the wall, to her backpack thrown on the floor.

Chris sighed and tried not to worry about his neighbor anymore. He wanted to think it was just a young girl in the age of broken hearts and not something deeper... but she was crying with such emotion that it made his head spin. He puffed his cheeks, letting out a sigh, and, retreating to the window, he took off his pants, slipping into his sheets, making sure she wouldn't accidentally turn and see him. Unlike her room, his bed was positioned sideways, his front door facing his bed, and her room's door was on the right side of the bed. Somehow, he felt like her room was more exposed, so he would have to move to avoid causing her any discomfort.

At dawn, the light bothered him, and he prayed that the girl had her curtains closed. Otherwise, he would have to get up semi-naked, and if she saw him, she might think he was a pervert. And just for his luck, some pretty white lace curtains covered her window; Chris was able to leave freely and go to wash up, taking his clothes with just a towel covering his lower half and changing in another room.

Chris looked at himself in the mirror, wondering if his outfit was appropriate: formal pants with a black button-up shirt. He wanted to think it was the best option for winter. He adjusted his dark hair before heading downstairs for breakfast, tired of boxes everywhere; he hoped everything would be in order between today and tomorrow for a better rest.

As he left, driving his car towards the university, he saw her again, walking down the sidewalk in the same direction as him; the famous girl who had been crying by her window, his neighbor, wearing blue jeans, white ankle boots, and a thin pale pink sweater. He saw her so fleetingly that he only saw her profile once again and noticed her backpack slung across her body.

And then she saw him too, just in a quick glance, driving his car, dressed all in black. She hadn't seen him completely, they hadn't even introduced themselves, but her mother confirmed it, he's a very handsome young man, he lives alone, and he bought the property outright, he must have a lot of money. His name is Christopher.

She had seen him at least twice, an embarrassing encounter in the morning when she tried to open her curtains just before leaving home, as she always did, but found his broad back naked, wearing only a towel while holding his clothes; Celeste immediately slid the curtain with embarrassment and just left her room. She hated to admit her mother was right, but the short two seconds she saw of his build weren't bad at all. And the second time was just moments ago as she headed to the university.

So that's her new neighbor, a man who emerged out of nowhere, bought that modernized house that had been empty for so long. She was so used to there being no one next to her room, now she had to be careful of walking around wearing with what she’s comfortable with.

Celeste took a couple of buses and one more subway line to reach her campus, where the first classes went by normally, and it wasn’t until brunch when the only person she talked to approached her.

“Celeste” he said to her.

She looked up from her food, observed him, gave him a smile, and invited him to sit with her gaze.

“I heard we’re finally getting a music teacher” he said again.

“Wow, it’s about time, it’s been a week”, she replied.

The guy smiled at Celeste and took one of her fries.

“There’s going to be an art exhibition, you should come” he suggested.

“When?” she asked.

“Friday at 7.”

Celeste raised her eyes, thinking if she had to work that day and concluded that if she asked for the day off they’d give it to her since she worked a week with no days off, she could perfectly go see Hyunjin’s exhibition.

It wasn’t new for Celeste to be somewhat… strange. She didn’t know how to explain it, but little by little, she distanced herself from all the people she once spoke comfortably with, and surprisingly, the handsome exchange student was the only one who talked to her. He was two years older than her and was studying visual arts, yet he decided to take music courses, and that’s where they met.

“I’ll be there” Celeste replied, checking the time on her phone. “We still have about 20 minutes ‘till class” she added.

Hyunjin smiled at her; he was quite handsome and popular, so a part of Celeste wants to feel human and like him like most do, if she paid proper attention to him... she could develop feelings for him, she hated the feeling part, and that feelings lead her to false illusions but she felt that in her dull life she needed to at least, have a little crush on someone. Maybe that would help distract her.

Falling in love was something Celeste didn't know, something that was out of her hands and even something she thinks is out of her reach. It's not that she doesn't want to have attention and affection... she just gave up and decided to think that maybe life is lonely for her. Her last intimate encounter and affection for a man was when she was 13 years old at a birthday party when she was dared to kiss someone, that was her last and first kiss. The rest of her years she lived normally without the opportunity of a prospect and love... that was one of the last things she thought and cried about, truly. Love.

The depression and anxiety was diminishing her libido and she remembers that maybe the last time she masturbated out of boredom was a year ago.

But Hyunjin... Celeste thought about whether she should like him, whether she should bring excitement into her life for the first time in twenty years.

She was an interesting and pretty girl, shy, but lonely, she isolated herself too much and lived absorbing the pain and problems of her surroundings; her issue was that she felt too much that sometimes she would go into a kind of self-control, on automatic, off without feeling anything, until she overloaded herself and exploded, it was always the same with her and she felt pathetic that she could never change. Her behavior led her to pull away from everyone... wondering why they didn't come back to her, maybe it's them, not me, she thought constantly.

Celeste watched Hyunjin closely as they talked for 10 minutes and the next 10 they used it to walk to the classroom. She was quite observant and took it upon herself to memorize every detail about him, his full lips, his eyelids hiding in his sharp brown eyes, the almost invisible mole under his eye, thick dark eyebrows, long hair and big hands, come on Celeste, feel something, she thought.

She wanted to bang her head against the wall, only then did she think she would come to her senses to feel something for someone as attractive as Hyunjin, besides he was an artist and the only person nice to her... she felt like a heartless bitch.

Arriving at the classroom, Hyunjin and Celeste sat together and the teacher was already inside as well. She spotted his silhouette as she passed, but saw him completely once again looked up at him... suddenly he seemed so similar, those broad shoulders and all black clothes, she shouldn't have been excited, but something small grew inside her, perhaps the intrigue that maybe her teacher is also her new neighbor? Suddenly the big city she always grew up in seemed small to her with such a coincidence.

Celeste was at least ninety percent sure it was him, she watched him a minute longer and as she felt their gazes cross, she turned to Hyunjin, embarrassed. Class started two minutes later and he finally introduced himself.

“I am Christopher Bang. Sorry for the delay of the subject by a week.”

TWO: dollhouse

places, places, get in your places, throw on your dress and put on your doll faces. everyone thinks that we're perfect, please don't let them look through the curtains ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

Celeste had lived in that house her whole life. It was only when she turned 18 and graduated that she managed to leave for a year and breathe… but due to economic reasons, she had to return. It's not that she wasn't grateful… she just needed a break from what her family could sometimes be.

Her father was an accountant who worked hard to provide his children with a home in what was considered one of the best neighborhoods in the city. At least she agreed that he did the right thing in that regard. However, he was insolent, dishonest, and unfaithful. She discovered her father's infidelity when she was only eleven years old, one June night when her father probably thought the house was completely empty since her mother usually took them —her younger brother and her— to visit their aunt… but that day was different, one of those when Celeste's puberty rebellion hit, and she refused to go with them. So, she wanted to stay in her room… until she saw them, him and his lover entering the house. She was so surprised, scared, and overwhelmed with emotions that she didn't know what to do, so she pretended not to be there. Overnight, her innocence was gone in an unpleasant way.

She couldn't live with the guilt, so a year later, she confessed it to her mother. Celeste already knew the gravity of the situation by then and had considered a million options that could happen: her mother going crazy, even blaming her daughter for not telling her, or a calm and depressive reaction… but in all scenarios, Celeste maturely considered divorce as a good option. She felt that she was no longer a child, she could live with it; after all, she had discovered that her father was not a good person and that her mother could take care of them. The only concern of poor twelve-year-old Celeste was her younger brother, who at the age of eight, for them, everything seemed like a fairytale, and having both parents was part of their fantasy world. She hated that she cared and loved him… but she was sure that the little one could overcome a divorce. She didn't want to be there anymore; she couldn't even look at her father in the eyes, she was always avoiding any encounter with him.

But her mother's reaction to the truth was… something different from the expected options. Even after years had passed, it still seemed so strange to her. They were there, sitting in the dining room, and it was three days after Celeste turned 12, on a rainy day in July when Celeste got tired of crying and wondering every night why… her birthday celebration made her angry; she didn't feel so sad and dejected anymore. She hated the way her father pretended to love her and everything was fine, the way he played with her brother and gave her mother a kiss on the cheek, she couldn't stand it anymore, so she told her mother. That time she had murmured an oh, and stared fixedly at a fixed point.

“I know, because I saw them,” Celeste said before her mother even asked anything else, but she didn't, she didn't do anything and was shocked. During the night, it was as if nothing had happened, and she served dinner… that wasn't what she expected, she wanted a scene and chaos; she wanted there to be shouts, but somehow she was grateful that there was no such behavior because of Celeste's little brother. But she was blinded by hatred and remorse towards her father.

The next day she remembers that she reproached her mother, shouting, “won't you do anything?”. She didn't answer. After that, she felt so cold and distant, her father was becoming more and more obvious with his affairs, the smell of a perfume that wasn't his wife's, spontaneous outings, and even nights without returning home.

Celeste couldn't stand pretending to be okay, and two months later, after seeing how her mother deteriorated and faded more and more, she walked to her father's small office in the house, being completely a mess, and told him the truth. “I know you have another woman, maybe mom wants to keep pretending with you but I can't.”

She remembered her father's expression, the surprise on his face and its paleness. Celeste didn't expect a response from him, so she was about to leave, but back then her father acted quickly, getting up from his chair and questioning her. “I saw you, don't try to deny it.”

The following years were him trying to fix it and build a bond with her but it was in vain; suddenly her little brother wondered why his father was too lenient with his sister. Celeste lived through her remaining teenage years trying to be someone normal until she finally got lost in music; she didn't want to spend time at home so she tried to enroll in all the extracurricular courses at her school that didn't involve physical effort like sports. Months later after her horrible confrontation, she found a passion for the piano, all her following school years were based on music, being in recitals whose events she never invited either of her parents to, playing for the drama club, being in the literature club, debate club, creative writing club… until she enrolled in her chosen university dedicated to that one thing she was passionate about.

At first, she knew she would annoy her parents with her career choice, but it was the perfect time to blackmail her father to pay for her institution. She wasn't anywhere near forgiving him, but the psychological damage somehow had a price: getting out of that house. Celeste had a busy life, after rehearsals, she started having part-time jobs since she was sixteen with the dream of living in her own space near the university.

She was so busy, she would come home around 10 or 11 at night and what she found at home was devastating. Her mother was a secretary who became a housewife after her second child was born, a boy named Blake. She dedicated 12 years to taking care of her children until she found out about her husband's infidelity. Cecille gradually became an alcoholic.

Celeste had to see it every night when she came home from work. Her wasted mother lying on the couch with the TV on and a strong smell of alcohol. Celeste had tried everything, her aunt's intervention, enrolling her in support groups, but her mother didn't seem to cooperate.

When she turned fifteen, she begged her father to divorce her mother, but she refused to accept it.

Every now and then she had to go check on her brother, to make sure he didn't turn into a complete idiot like his father, or simply into a bad person, related to what was he seeing at home. But even in that, both dysfunctional parents were lucky, Blake was a shy boy, four years younger than Celeste, who grew up with a passion for physics and mathematics; unlike her, he did go out in the afternoons with his friends and lived a life outside of his home. He didn't care how bad things were, as long as he had somewhere to live and his own space he was more than okay, even when he was fourteen he managed to steal alcohol from his mother to go try it at a friend's house later, not everything had to be so bad, or at least that's what he thought… sometimes Celeste wanted to be like him and try not to worry too much. Little by little, both of them grew up without showing affection, Celeste thought that maybe that's why it wasn't something she sought in other people, her perception of love and respect had been so damaged since she was young but she couldn't accept it. She never felt anything when she saw her classmates holding hands, seeing the cheesy actions of strangers showing affection, a hug was something she only remembered fleetingly from her childhood.

When she finally turned eighteen, she found a roommate and rented a dorm room on campus; that place wasn't her dream, the floor was noisy, full of extroverted theater kids, but it was all she had. She had lived like that for a whole year, with no communication to her parents, working and studying at the same time, only communicating with her brother to wish him Merry Christmas and New Year, and in May, to wish him a happy birthday. It all fell apart in her second year of school when her roommate told her she was moving out and Celeste couldn't afford the full expense, she already had an academic scholarship and her parents were still paying for her institution.

Celeste did it, she called her brother on a normal day that wasn't a holiday, her little brother advised her that she could go back home, that's what he would do when he entered college, since it would only take him routes and buses to get there. “I'll let mom and dad know,” he told her over the phone before abruptly hanging up. Celeste couldn't answer, she couldn't say don't do it. And she insisted by text that she would manage on her own. That day her heart broke when she read the text from her fifteen-year-old brother saying: why do you hate them? come back home for me the uni is literally half an hour away from home

She had no choice, she had everything, she wouldn't pay rent, her payment at the university would continue, she would only work to buy her own things and take care of Blake. She never thought he would feel abandoned. She thought about how much it must have sucked to come home alone, with an absent father and an alcoholic mother.

When she told her roommate that she would return to her home in Woollahra, her expression was incredulous, “you've been living there all this time? Why would you want to live in an uncomfortable dorm?”. Celeste wondered if she was being ungrateful.

And then she returned, her father couldn't be happier, and even her mother's dull face lit up at having her only daughter back. She would go back to being the same, practically just going home to sleep.

If she had everything… why did she feel so empty. Her room was still the same as they had decorated it since she was eight, covered in pale pink and white shades. The years passed and she continued to support her brother, going to academic competitions he attended, and for the first time, she asked him to come see her perform at a recital in her university's auditorium.

And so her life remained, until now that she felt stuck once again, in her third year of university. She felt like she was repeating her high school years and it was suffocating her. If she could leave with Blake she would, but she was just a simple university student with anxiety attacks in the school bathrooms.

“You should ask the new guy next door if he has a girlfriend, seriously, he's cute, Celeste. You've never had a boyfriend, right?” her mother mentioned, leaning on the kitchen counter.

Celeste looked at her incredulously, wondering since when her private life mattered to her, and if she had a boyfriend, it wouldn't be something she'd inform her about. She was about to leave for university, she didn't want those kinds of conversations at 7 in the morning.

“Ew, isn't he like thirty?” her brother added, eating a spoonful of his cereal.

“Age can just be a number, Blakey, we want your sister to find love.”

“I have to go” Celeste sighed, escaping the conversation.

She couldn't stop thinking about it. Once again, she was right, why couldn't she find love? Her only friend, whom she rarely contacted, moved in with her mother in Melbourne after finishing high school. And now socializing at university where classmates change and come and go, it was so difficult for her to establish any kind of relationship with anyone. The only person she talked to was… an exchange student who shared only one class on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Celeste couldn't help but wonder if she should start flirting with him, just to try to feel something in return.

Every time she examined him more… she realized how cute he was, should she approach him? Anyway, he would leave at the end of the semester, no one could die trying.

When they sat together in class, she couldn't help but be distracted by thoughts that tomorrow she would dress up more for Hyunjin, fix her hair more, wear more makeup… the idea of being liked by someone made her so nervous.

And when she looked up, she saw her new teacher, who she could swear was her new handsome neighbor.

As the class began, she remembered her mother's voice saying he was handsome, and without realizing it, a slight mocking smile appeared on her face as she analyzed her new teacher's appearance in detail. Slightly tanned skin, short, dark brown hair semi-wavy, his intense gaze beneath his slit eyes, prominent nose, and thick lips… and his voice was strong, commanding, and nasal, and his build was… Celeste thought… was this what imagination was like when dealing with the sudden rush of hormones?

She had the idea that maybe she wasn't the only one so surprised and delighted by the assignment of the new teacher. She discreetly turned her gaze to the sides, to her other classmates, and noticed how they looked at him intensely without taking their eyes off the man giving the class, Celeste felt foolish, had she looked so obvious? Had Hyunjin noticed?

Once the class ended, Chris said:

“Before you all leave…” he approached his desk and quickly and gently picked up a paper from his desk, “Is Celeste Burton here?” he looked up searching among the students.

Celeste frowned and timidly raised her hand, Hyunjin quickly glanced at her friend and then at the teacher, it also seemed strange to him but he didn't pay attention to it; Chris finally managed to perceive her and added:

“Can you come up for a moment to talk?”

His gaze fixed on hers, Celeste nodded gently and began to gather her things, suddenly she was feeling nervous and not understanding why.

“The rest of you, I'll see you tomorrow” Chris concluded.

With a nervous smirk, Celeste was about to approach but a warm and large hand holding her wrist made her turn, Hyunjin was so close to her face that she couldn't even react.

“I have to go to the arts campus now, but I'll see you tomorrow, Cel” he informed her with a smile, almost feeling his cool breath.

“Sure.”

She limited herself to answer, she was so overwhelmed by the situation's overload, Chris wanted to talk to her and suddenly Hyunjin was approaching dangerously, she couldn't process it. Celeste returned her gaze to Chris, who had his eyes fixed on Hyunjin until he left the classroom, after feeling Celeste's soft gaze, he cleared his throat and looked at her, waiting for her to come closer.

Celeste walked to his desk and the last two students had already left the classroom, leaving only the two of them; she didn't want to appear nervous, she didn't have to be.

“You signed up during the academic break as an apprentice to some teacher at the beginning of the school year” Celeste quickly processed the information while he made eye contact with her, “well Burton, I'll be your mentor, is that okay?”

“Oh, sure, I didn't know I had been selected… it's a pleasure, Professor Bang.”

Chris gave her a smile and observed her, her still and straight posture with her hands together against her jeans.

“Yes well, the other students applied for classes with other teachers, but you were selected as my apprentice, I heard you're the best in the class.”

Chris raised his eyebrows waiting for a reaction from her to his last comment and suddenly he realized that he was starting to ramble, he didn't understand why he did it. He shook his head slightly and tried to refocus.

“I want to discuss schedules. Wednesday is general rehearsal, so I like discipline, how about Monday to Friday excluding Wednesday, from 1 to 4? It'll be in the music room, for tomorrow.”

Chris looked at her intently and Celeste began to think… she would have to shorten her work hours if she said yes, she couldn't miss the opportunity, it would be so beneficial to her resume, she wants to believe that he is a good teacher in terms of his knowledge and being his apprentice could lead her to expand her mind. But she would have to sacrifice a few hours of work; despite being sunk in sadness, she liked the little things like makeup, clothes, going to nice cafes, visiting the cinema alone, all without having to ask her parents for money at her twenty years old, so being his apprentice would only mean a little less pay, and working with him, or for him, for free.

Celeste thought for a second about how young he looked to be a mentor, she wondered if he was really qualified.

“You can’t…?” he interrupted her, expecting an answer.

“Oh, sure, yes, I'll be there. Thank you.”

She smiled at him and Chris returned the gesture. Celeste was about to leave when the female desire to play a little took over.

She was steps away from walking through the door, but she turned, with a playful smile she searched his gaze, Chris was drawn to her sudden movement thinking that maybe she had forgotten to say something.

“By the way, Mr. Bang, did you just move to Woollahra?” he looked at her with a slight furrow of his brow and she continued :“Oh, I didn’t want to sound weird; I just think we're neighbors now too. So, welcome.”

Her tone was so sweet and innocent yet somehow wicked; Chris recognized the slight intentions of approach.

She left and left him sure of one thing, that it was her, the pretty and poor girl who cried through her window the night before. Chris swallowed, she's even prettier up close, he thought.

--------------------------

₊˚⊹ ᰔ TAGLIST: @forklesschowder @bubblebisk @calisnewworld @sunarins-whore @bangchansslut6 @snowyquokka @chansbabygirlsstuff @athforskz @heeyboooo @chrizzztopherbang @yerijaksel @moonlightndaydreams @readr1221 @skzswife

lmk if u want to be add 2 the taglist☆

divider by chilumitos

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absolutebl · 25 days ago

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This Week(s) in BL - yes yes I KNOW

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Dec 2024 Week 1 & 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

Your Sky (Sun iQIYI) ep 3-4 of 12 - Them on the rooftop together (and cooking) learning how to flirt and be comfortable in each other’s space was so damn darling. Fah is so gentle and so enamored. its just endlessly soft. I love the nickname negotiation. And then next we got an illegally cute date!!!!! Yes this is slow but I don't care.

Love Sick 2024 (Sun iQIYI) ep 12-13 of 15 - I like we get more Phun/Dad conflict backstory in this new version. I'm chronicling my experience with 2024 as compared to 2014 here. (hasn't been updated, I'm struggling here)

Caged Again (Fri Gaga) ep 5-6 of 10 - Family (elder gays) to the rescue is a wonderful trope to see! So rare.

Also a v well done first kiss.

Not gonna lie, I found the second episode overly weird and rather slow and drawn out. Did not need all the cartoon stuff. Also not really into the penguin outfit thing either. Not cute.

ThamePo Heart that Skips a Beat (Fri YT) ep 1 of 12 - Oh I absolutely adore it but...... it’s slow. But I don’t care because everyone’s so pretty. Po is a bit too much of a pushover for me and his sister (or whatever) is a bit too much of a sasang. So I don’t like that part. Hopefully these flaws will get rectified. But my oh my are they PRETTY.

Did I mention the pretty?

Fourever You (Thurs YT) ep 10-11 of 16 - These episodes were a bit better and I am warming Johan (if not to North). I think my issue with this story arc is I never love a tsundere seme. North's hair was epically bad, like 2008 Japan level terrible.

Hill & Ter’s make out and discovery scene was truly spectacular and very tense.

In ep 11 I got very confused because I thought we already saw the rescue from rape in the street scene? Or am I hallucinating? Anygay, most awkward kabedon ever in a BL.

Good kiss though.

And now we are in a very working girl a relationship. Cool if that's your thing, I guess.

The Heart Killers (Weds Gaga) ep 3 of 12 - I like the Khun Mehhh Boss lady character. I cannot stand the music in this show! Fake metal, fake tattoos, I'm getting Hollyoaks flashbacks. Lap sitting was cute and kink was a nice touch. Not sure about the dance tho. Fight scene was much better. Lots of action this ep. ALL the action really.

Episode 4, however, I inexplicably couldn’t find. I clearly have to use my old-fashioned VPN work-around. And I don’t have access to that computer right now.

Perfect 10 Liners (Sun YT?) ep 6 of 24 - I did really enjoy the twist that the uke character (who is not in love) was more into having sex than seme character (who is in love). That was fun. And quite modern.

I do love them casually just walking around campus in waffle robes. For those who don’t know this is another dig at a BL trope. Frankly, now that there’s a lot more communication (and intentions have been made clear) between the two of them, I’m enjoying their relationship more. I still don't LIKE it. Also the ever present language play is making me happy. For those of you who missed it, the nuance of that krap from a prior perennially rude Arc is basically the equivalent of a semi-sarcastic but also kind of sweet “yes, dear.”

Meanwhile, Sea just popping up out of nowhere made me entirely too happy. I hooted with laughter, it was so ridiculous. Episode 7 I didn't pay much attention because the sound effects were particularly egregious - or was it just me?

Spare Me Your Mercy (Thurs iQIYI) ep 2-4 of 8 - I went on a journey with this one this week. Ready?

2 - Ooo its very good. I like it a lot. The doc is soooo awkward it's almost believable and yet still sus. Such a great actor. I do keep wondering if they’ve already slept together at some point though. Like they once had a one night stand in college or something. 3 - I did not call the pharmacist and the hospital head kink. Nice twist. I do enjoy how very adult the relationship is between these leads, but I don't get a ton of chemistry. 4 - Well this show turned into something I was not expecting. I thought it was gonna be a sort of mystery but it’s not. It’s more crime thriller is he a serial killer thing. sorry all, but this is too dark for me rn. So I’m giving it a pass until it’s over and others have deemed it safe.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Our Youth AKA Miseinen: Mijukuna Oretachi wa Bukiyo ni Shinkochu (Japan Tues Gaga) ep 5-6 of 11 - Oh it’s the classic flip halfway through so we get the other perspective. I forgot that was coming. Silly me. Anther one for the 2024 sniff test list list. Oh they gave such an achingly sweet sex scene Triggers are rough with this one. We are in for a world of pain. Why am I still watching?

See Your Love (Taiwan Weds Gaga) ep 8 of 13 - gosh they are so sweet. The Daddy/idiot-brat side pairing is epic. Wish they got more screen time.

Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 11 of ? - finally stuff happened.

Love in the Air: Koi no Yokan (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 6-7 of 10 - ugh, they kept the violation of the journal reading bit in the JBL version. It’s really hard to watch no matter what. I actually think the Thai version of that scene was better acted. But ho boy how do I ever like that character?

Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues ????) 11-12 end - Went pretty dark. Both psychologically, emotionally, and physically. I still like how the leads remained loyal and connected to each other though. Nice to see battle husbands again after so long. We don’t get them very often in BL these days. it’s just us against the world is always fun to watch. All that said there’s quite a bit of chin stroking dialogue that was v on the nose and twee for JBL. Pleasure to see Haruto fight like a man who can actually fight, like the actor had some training or something (no idea if this is true). The final ep was satisfying and all in all, an enjoyable show.

A fun little JBL about a repressed lawyer who partners with (and then falls for) a beautiful street-savvy conman. Charmingly, they both come out the better and stronger for the relationship. The return of battle husbands, this time in the courtroom. Thank you, Japan, we appreciate a look in on an oft forgotten trope. 8/10

Be Moon - Falling for my enemy's son (China YT) movie from HBD Studio airing in short bits - this is another series of shorts that popped up on YouTube. It’s very pulp I not wild about it. Although I do like a lot of the tropes.

Eyes on You (Hong Kong YT) - trailer, oh it’s mostly incomprehensible and really not good. I'd tell you what it’s about but I have no idea. There seems to be some sort of mystery and some violence and people fighting and a pair of lovers at the center of it who are being reunited. Or something.

It's airing but......

Winter Is Not The Death of Summer (Thai Weds YT) ?? eps - Criminals who meet in prison fall in love. I did find it on YouTube, initially un-subbed, then subs happened by which time I got distracted. The first episode seems to be only six minutes long. It is very pulp. But it is intriguing. For now it's to the wayside until someone tells me it landed safely. Occasionally Thai pulps want to be edgy and it's not a good look on them.

Secret Love (? YT?) 13-?? of 81 eps - I don't know what's going on either.

0.5D (Japan ????) 10 eps - Supposedly started 12/4 I couldn't find it though I'd like to watch. "Sales ace, Sada, has a secret that only his junior, Daiki, knows. He has pretended to have a gf for years, resulting in him being a virgin. But now Sada has fallen in love. Confused, Sada seeks advice from his junior." I sense another queer Cyrano De Bergerac. Info here.

Bad to Bed (Taiwan Sat YT) 10 eps - This is a little too low production value even for me + just very very odd. DNF

It Ended But?

Blue Canvas of Youthful Days (China Sun Viki) paused at eps 9-10 of 12 - I have been told the ending is OK if not great. I’m gonna hold off for a bit.

Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) 10 eps - I DNF'd at ep 7, did anyone stick with this until the end? Thoughts?

Next Week Looks Like This:

No cal for you. Mine is borked. LIFE. Interfering with my BL. Again.

End of year drops:

12/14 & 12/21 The Renovation (Thai mini One31) 2 eps - Writer turns his blossoming romance with holiday resort owner into a novel.

12/20 Eternal Butler (Taiwan Viki?) 12 eps - When Ever 4, a sophisticated AI robot, becomes the personal butler to Luo Bu Shi, a spoiled yet lonely young heir, an unexpected love story unfolds. (Spin off from the first season, new cast.)

12/29 Sangmin Dinneaw (Thai ????) ??eps - trailer Childhood friends (Thai & Korean) reunite after being apart for ten years. As the boys reconnect, their bond matures and feelings of romance begin to develop, in Thai.

Impression of Youth (Taiwan ????) ??eps - rummors are thsi is supposed to start this month.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Peak humor. Very good.

STRAIGHT = wrong word

(All Perfect 10)

LOOK AT THAT FACE> GAH. (Fourever)

(2 weeks ago)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Don't complain you're lucky I got this done at all!

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mysticheathenn · 6 months ago

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Mystery Pick-A-Card Pt. ll

Hi, Hexlings!

This pick-a-card reading is about whatever the cards have to say. I shuffle the cards and whatever message comes out is your reading. I couldn't decide on what reading should be next as so many messages wanted to come through, so I decided on this way. This may be about love, academics, friendship/family, money, or careers. Whatever the cards have to say, will be said.

This is a general reading, remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to seek professional help. Tarot should be used as entertainment and not a for sure answer to your problems but as a guide, a sense of hope, and amusement.

Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.

MasterList

Patreon Link

TW Ahead Read With Caution

Pile l:

What is your Mystery Reading? Tarot: Page of Swords, 5 of Swords, The Chariot (Clarified by The Reversed Empress), Justice (Clarified by 9 of Cups), Ace of Wands

"There's no kindness in your eyes The way you look at me, it's just not right I can tell what's going on this time There's a stranger in my life You're not the person that I once knew Are you scared to let them know it's you? If they could only see you like I do Then they would see a stranger too" - Hilary Duff, Strangers

TW: Body image, Self Esteem, Anorexia, Dysmorphia, Etc

Even though Strangers by Hilary Duff is a love song about a toxic relationship this is about you having a toxic relationship, but with yourself. You are so skilled at faking smiles and pretending everything is okay while you suffer on the inside with your constant negative talk to yourself. You could say things like how ugly, fat, and disgusting, you are to yourself and spew all of these lies that aren't true. Some of you could possibly be dealing with body dysmorphia where you see yourself as one way one moment and another moment you do a complete 180 or 360 depending on what it is about your body you are speaking negatively/positively about. Some of these feelings, thoughts, and emotions may have come from your childhood/adolescence where your family constantly pointed out changes in your weight causing you to have these feelings or body disorders. This makes me sad because I don't need to know what you look like to know that you are handsome/beautiful/spectacular/ and everything that's as sensational and bright as the sun. This reading has left me in a pickle as I have never pulled cards dealing with this subject before and don't want to overstep or cause any damage, as I'm not a psychologist/therapist so I can't give you the guidance you need in order to see yourself for all its glory, but your guides want you to know it's time to start seeing the light. They can't help you if you don't try to help yourself first by seeking help for the thoughts that plague your mind on a daily basis. You may like to listen to sad songs when you're sad so you can remain in your sadness because being happy with who you are is too unbearable to think about. It's time to begin your journey of healing and surrounding yourself with people who see you for who you really are and not the versions in your head that you see or the versions your family likes to place on you because of their own f*cked-up views and opinions about themselves. Try seeking out help from a therapist/psychologist, or a trusted friend. Also, remember that you are more than just your looks, you have a personality that I am sure shines bright as gold and a beautiful future ahead where you are thriving and seeing yourself as truly divine.

Pile ll:

What is your Mystery Reading? Tarot: The Devil, 7 of Cups, 8 of Cups (Clarified by The Star), 9 of Pentacles (reversed)

"There's things I wanna say to you But I'll just let you live Like if you hold me without hurting me You'll be the first who ever did There's things I wanna talk about But better not to give But if you hold me without hurting me You'll be the first who ever did" - Cinnamon Girl by Lana Del Rey

TW: Self-Sabotage, Vices, etc

This reading can go so many different ways but the overall message is that there is something in your life that isn't good for you that you can't see to walk away because you either feel you have no better options or you don't want any other options. For some of you, this could be a relationship you refuse to let go of because of fear and for others of you, this could be vices like drugs, alcohol, or even self-sabotaging things for yourself because you don't see how bright your future or how brilliant you are. Some of you are so far down the rabbit hole that you don't see a way out, you have let this thing or person consume your every being to the point there is no moon or sun in your work only complete darkness. It's as if you have fully accepted that this is your life now and the thing about that pile ll is this doesn't have to be your life. You have The Star card in your reading showing you that you are more than capable of being someone other than the version you are now or even finding better elsewhere if this is about a relationship. Freedom is just a few steps away you just have to be the one to see the light at the end of the tunnel instead of always pulling the blackout curtains over any and all kinds of light that touched your domain. You have options...you just rather not take them because of having to deal with the pain that comes along with it. Again this could be vices that you pick up every time life gets even the smallest of inconvenient for you and others it's a relationship that you wholeheartedly either believe is as good as it gets for you because of your low self-esteem or because you don't want to leave this person in their darkest hour not realizing that they too are slowing taking you under. Your light is so bright pile ll and it's been trying to show you in your darkness but you refuse to answer or grab its hand. It's time to walk away from the things that keep you mentally, emotionally, and even physically stuck and walk away. Do some healing or find other solutions that can help with your vices. Similar to how chain smokers replace cigarettes with snacks...replace what this toxic energy is with something better.

Pile lll:

What is your Mystery Reading? Tarot: The Lovers, The Hierophant, The Devil, The Moon, 3 of Swords

Two Messages - TW: Toxic Relationships (Romantic & of the Self)

So many Major Arcana cards pile lll. You may have been drawn to Pile ll, this reading somewhat mirrors that pile also. The only difference is that you acknowledge your unhappiness while Pile ll...well...yeah. Anyway, pile lll I sense your unhappiness within your relationship and possibly within yourself too. With the lovers and devil card in this reading, I sense that this is mainly a relationship reading but if not take what resonates and apply it to you being single. Single messages are later in this reading. Overall you are unhappy with how your relationship is, it's as if you romanticized what it would be like with this person and decided to go with the flow of everything even when things didn't feel right and now you are unhappy because you don't want to "disturb the peace" in your relationship but you also are feeling yourself chip away each and every day. Maybe this is the kind of relationship you thought you wanted because society or your family have always had this kind of relationship and you thought this is the way it has to be not realizing that you have a say in how your relationship should be, feel, and look like. You don't have to sit in silence and possibly cry yourself to sleep every night wishing things were different when you can just leave if the relationship is not serving you the way your soul wants to be fed. For just a few of you this may be an abusive or toxic relationship and this relationship while it is abusive you have only known chaotic and toxic love so anything else just doesn't feel right because you are so used to chaos and drama not realizing that's not love. For those of you who are single, this feels more so of you not feeling one with yourself. You're catering to everyone else but what your soul has been telling you all along. There is so much hidden potential in you that you don't realize because you are listening and entertaining others. Going back to those who are in abusive or toxic relationships if you can and only if you can seek help. There are so many people out there willing and wanting to help you get out. Last for those who are single and try and tap into the parts of you that are screaming for you to release and see where it takes you. I am going to let you know that you tapping into yourself will cause friction to those who are only around you for their own benefit...are you ready to lose those around you when you stop entertaining others' opinion of you.

Pile lV:

What is your Mystery Reading? Tarot: Ace of Pentacles, 7 of cups, Strength, Ace of Cups, 8 of Pentacles, Hanged Man

This is the only good happy-toned reading out of the remainder of the other piles and I can't tell you how happy I am for you. Whatever it is that you have been working on specifically dealing with career as I see a lot of money and emotions cards. Needless to say, that emotional fulfillment is coming in for you pile lV. Please don't doubt that what you are doing is a waste of time because it's not. If you aren't working on something you may have had several opportunities or ideas come to you that you have questioned whether they will lead you to financial stability and abundance and with the 8 and Ace of Pentacles card it is a yes. Yes, one of your ideas will bring you the money you have been trying to manifest or pray for. Some of you that may have multiple ideas or opportunities may not be sure as to what you should take that will lead you down this road and it's the one that gives you the most emotional fulfillment. If you still aren't sure close your eyes and picture yourself doing each opportunity and if it doesn't give you a feeling of peace washing over you...onto the next idea or opportunity. This path will also force you to have strength pile lV as this is not a quick road to riches and stability. You will be tested and have setbacks as well as being stuck in limbo but overall this will be worth it and is exactly what you have been wanting in your life...it's just going to take a bit of work to get there but financial abundance is on it's way to you, just have patience, dedication, and focus on the prize.

Thank you for liking and reblogging my readings. I always appreciate you guys on here and on Patreon.

Stay safe and be blessed

#spirituality #witchblr #tarot reading #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #pick a card #tarot cards #pac tarot #pick a pile #pac reading #pick an image #pick a picture #pick a photo

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avocad1s · 2 years ago

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Bring Back What Once Was Mine

Chapter Summary: The nation of Cryo welcomes you.

Characters Mentioned: The Fatui Harbingers & The Tsaritsa.

Content Warning: Cult and Religious themes ahead! You've been warned.

Reader is the true creator of Teyvat. GN! Reader

Part Four Part Five (you are here!) Part Six

You alr know what I’m gonna say… not beta read :>

The Gnosis didn’t just connect the Archons to the Creator. It also connected them to Celestia.

Although very few understand it, one thing that is known is Celestia is the residence for the Gods. On rare occasions, mortals can ascend to Celestia if they preform great, heroic feats. Meaning even humans can achieve godhood.

However as the decades went by, the Archons begin cutting of their ties to Celestia after the Cataclysm. They decided to live in their respective nations rather than watching them from above.

Celestia, who noticed the reservations of the Seven, knew that it had to do something to keep its order intact.

“You’re Grace?”

“Hmm?”

“You should put your coat on now, we will be arriving on shore soon.”

A few hours has passed since you had made a detour in your journey gotten a on the boat with Childe, he was a talkative individual, boasting about his skills in combat or about the Tsaritsa. Yet when you asked about the other Harbingers he wouldn’t say much, he would vaguely mention something about their strength or their contribution to the Fatui.

Speaking of the Fatui, you still had your reservations about the infamous group. Though when you try to reassure yourself that you know the Cryo Archon better than anyone else, Aether’s words fills your ears.

You sigh slipping the soft material of the coat onto your arms, feeling your body instantly heat up.

“Lord Harbinger,” one of Childe’s soldiers approached the two of you in a stiff bow. “We have arrived.”

Just like with Sumeru, it seems the Snezhnaya had changed a great deal since the last time you were here. You could hardly believe that this nation had been on lock for many years.

Childe holds his hand out to you, “I’ll lead you, Your Grace.” You rest your hand in his gloved one causing him to smile wider as he leads off the boat onto the icy deck.

The deck and the pathway leading to the Zapolyarny palace has a scare amount of security. You couldn’t help but wonder if it was on purpose or if your arrival to Snezhnaya is unexpectedly early.

“Are you nervous, Your Grace?” Childe asks suddenly.

You swallow, could he feel your apprehension? As the two of you get closer to the Zapolyarny palace, you could feel the tension in your body increase. The overwhelming presence of malice the palace was giving off, you could only imagine who- or what- was in there.

He gives your hand a slight squeeze looking over at you, “there’s no need to be nervous, the Fatui and Her Majesty are your most loyal servants. We will never do anything to betray you.”

Nodding at his words, you try to ignore the goosebumps that just appeared on your skin.

Childe pushes open the large doors leading you inside the icy fortress. Even though it wasn’t very well lit, the decor in the inside was spectacular. Multiple banners hung from the support beams all of them with snowflakes decorated at the bottom of it. There were also dozens of pews that lead to the front of the room which seemed to be the most lit. Many soldiers stood near the wall gawking in your direction once you entered the palace, but with a simple glance, you could tell they were lower ranked. Not because of anything they were wearing, but because of the two who stood in front of you.

One you recognized to be the Cryo Archon but the other was someone you’ve never seen before. Both were all dressed nicely but still kept the cold weather in mind.

The Tsaritsa was the only one to approach you, she wasted no time grabbing your free hand with both of hers. “Your Grace please forgive me for my rude welcoming. If I had known you would arrive today-“

“You have no reason to apologize, I wish I was here under better circumstances…” you interrupt.

She lets go of your hand nodding, “having you here already means everything to me.”

You smile at her sweet words, the Tsaritsa was still the same as you remembered. Maybe letting the words of Yelan and Aether get to you was a bad idea.

“You must tired after your journey.” The Tsaritsa begins, “we’ve prepared a room just for you. I hope it’s to your liking.”

Truthfully, you would take any bed right now. Ever since you descended to Teyvat, you’ve been sleeping outside or not sleeping at all, you wouldn’t complain about any accommodations right now.

She looks back at the man who was watching your interaction, “my most trusted will guide you to your chamber. I will come check on you later.”

The Tsaritsa takes a step away from you, turning her attention to Childe who was still holding your hand. “Come with me Tartaglia,” she orders.

Childe hesitantly lets go of your hand giving you a reassuring smile, “don’t worry Your Grace, if you need anything from me, I’ll still be in the palace.”

It fell silent for a moment in the palace, only thing that could be heard is the faint footsteps of Childe and the Cryo Archon walking off as they whisper about something you couldn’t make out.

“Divine One…”

You focus your attention on the man in front of you. He had on a mask like the soldiers in the room with you but his only covered half of his face, his hair is white and his eyes… (or eye) were the most peculiar. It was definitely something you recognized but he was standing to far away for you to make out what it was exactly.

“My name is Pierro,” he introduces, “I will guide you to your chamber.”

So this was the Tsaritsa most trusted. It makes you wonder how long he’s been in the Fatui to earn such a title. He leads you down a hall in the opposite direction that the Tsaritsa had went, he doesn’t say anything keeping his gaze forward and his hands behind his back.

“Where are the others?” You ask breaking the silence.

He glances at you for a moment, “I’m assuming you mean the other Harbingers? They’ll be returning soon.”

Pierro stops in front of a double doored room at the end of the hall, “this is where you’ll be staying while in Snezhnaya, Divine One.” He opens the door for you allowing you to walk inside as he stands by the threshold.

The room was fairly dark, the only light coming from the fireplace on the furthest wall from the door. There was one large bed in the middle of the room and a couch by the fireplace. There was also a table with a few books neatly stacked on it.

“I hope you enjoy your time in the Zapolyarny Palace.” Pierro closes the door leaving you alone in the large room.

Once the door clicks, you pull the flower Aether had given you out of your pocket inspecting it closely. Luckily it hadn’t wilted while on your journey to Snezhnaya. You place the flower on the table shrugging off your coat draping it on the chair. You relax into the couch allowing the fireplace to keep you warm, unaware that this is the last time you’ll relax before knowing the truth yourself.

The Zapolyarny palace was more comforting than you thought it be.

Slouching on this couch has to be the first time you ever allowed yourself to fully relax since you descended to Teyvat. You didn’t even realized you were succumbing to sleep until you heard faint voices outside your door that brought your attention back to reality.

“Is their Grace really behind this door?”

“That’s what the Jester said, maybe I should bring them something to eat.”

“Why should it be you? Their Grace knows me, they’ll be more comfortable if I bring it to them.”

“It shouldn’t have been you who found them in the first place, Tartaglia. I’m higher ranked than you, it should be me who gives it to them.”

“Well if it’s purely based off our rankings than it should be me, no? I am the highest ranked out of us all since number one isn’t here.”

“You’d just scare them off Dottore!”

Their fighting immediately ceases causing you to sit up on the couch. We’re they aware you were listening or did they walk off to argue somewhere else. Neither answer made sense, you hadn’t made a noise since you noticed they were outside your door and you didn’t hear their footsteps or fading voices indicating that they walked off.

A soft knock is heard at the large doors.

“Your Grace,” a voice calls out. It was the Tsaritsa, “are you awake? May I come inside?”

You use your palms to straighten out your wrinkled clothing before answering, “yes I’m awake. Please come in.”

The door opens immediately and the Cryo Archon walks inside closing the door behind her.

“We’re you able to settle in?”

You nod, “yes! This room is perfect, thank you.”

“I’m glad…” she slowly approaches you on the coach before hesitantly sitting next to you. “Well there’s no point of beating around the bush… I’m assuming you know why I came to see you?”

You rest your hands in your lap giving her your full attention, “it’s about the False Creator. Right?”

“Yes.” She confirms, “Tartaglia wasn’t lying when he said that I’ve figured out where the False Creator came from.”

You say nothing waiting for her to continue and after a best of silence she says, “Your Grace, there’s a reason why none of the Archons were alerted to your presence. We all removed our Gnosis.”

Your eyes widen, “what? Why?”

“It’s not because of you!” She quickly reassures, “we all still hold you in the highest regard, but to be connected to you we also have to be connected to…”

“…Celestia…” you finish her sentence. “Is there something wrong with Celestia? Why don’t you all want to be connected to it anymore?”

She brushes some of her hair off her shoulder, “when you went off world centuries ago and left Celestia in control of Teyvat, something changed.”

“What do you mean?” You ask.

She shrugs, “I’m not entirely sure what happened but once you left, being in Celestia felt… wrong. Like none of us were supposed to be there but it was Celestia’s final order that made us cut our connection to it.”

“Celestia’s final order?”

“What I’m trying to tell you is that Celestia had ordered us Archons to destroy Khaenri'ah under the guise that it was you who told us to.”

Once she had seen your face, it takes everything out of the Tsaritsa not to fall onto the floor and beg for your forgiveness, but telling you everything is whats important right now, even if you do hate her afterwards.

“We all thought it was you who told us to do it… and that’s when the other one had arrived. Pretending to be you, they reassured us that we did the right thing and that we had gotten rid of a nation filled with sinners.”

You notice her eyes fill with tears, she felt true guilt for what she and her fellow Archons had done. Reaching out, you place your hand on top of her silently urging her to continue.

“Celestia feared it was losing it’s control over Teyvat after us Archons stopped going there once you had departed. So it sent down a fake you to keep the control it had over the world. With the False Creator and the Gnosis, Celestia had Teyvat right in the palm of it’s hands.”

“Wait.” You interrupt, “if that’s all they did, then why was Khaenri'ah destroyed?”

You feel her hands trembling under yours, but before you can comment on it she continues. “Khaenri'ah had found out about Celestia’s plans to send down a False Creator. When Khaenri'ah had made plans to summon you, Celestia ordered the destruction of the nation. It’s what we call the Cataclysm.”

You remove your hand from hers bringing them up to your mouth. There’s no way she was actually telling the truth, Celestia had existed way before anyone on Teyvat did. It was one of your first creations, would it really betray you like that?

A cold hand on your cheek breaks you out of your thoughts, the Tsaritsa turns your head to look at her a frown apparent on her face.

“I know how this sounds your Grace but you must believe me. I would never tell you such a blasphemous lie if it weren’t the truth!”

“What were these plans Khaenri'ah had found?” Are the only words to leave your lips.

“A prototype.” She explains, “they had sent down a prototype to see if they could fool Khaenri'ah into believing it was actually you. Celestia knew that convincing that nation would be the hardest since it was the only nation without an Archon.”

You stand from your spot on the couch causing the Tsaritsa to jump up as well, her face looked frantic but she held her composure well. It was clear where the Fatui had gotten their cold nature from.

“And how exactly did you get all of this information?”

“There are many remnants of Khaenri'ah still around Teyvat Your Grace. Celestia wasn’t able to eradicate everything.” She explains.

There was a another silence between the two of you but it wasn’t like before, this time it felt suffocating. If what she claims is the truth that means your own creation, something you believed you could trust, had betrayed you. Now everything made sense. Everything Aether had told you about the remnants of Khaenri'ah still being present. He was there, he probably seen all of it.

You should’ve went with him when you had the chance. Outlander or not, you were conflicted on who you could trust now.

“Your Grace?” the Cryo Archon stutters out her hand resting gently on your shoulder. “What are you going to do now?”

You decide not to respond but her question continues to repeat in your mind. What are you going to do? If it was Celestia, then destroying the Imposter wouldn’t solve your problem. What if you decide to go off world again? Would Celestia just make another Fake Creator and take reign over your world once more? You couldn’t let that happen, it wasn’t a risk you were willing to take.

“As unbelievable everything you just told me sounds, I’m going to trust you…”

Her body visibly relaxes at your explanation.

“Even though I still don’t know everything I wanted, if Celestia was the one who created the Imposter then I cannot waste anymore time. I must return to Sumeru and deal with them immediately.”

Note: I apologize for the five day wait, but this part took a lot of research on my end and yeah 💀 i already know there are some inaccuracies but for the sake of the plot idc. Anyways we have just reached the climax of the story, my plan is to wrap everything up in three more chapters but we’ll see how that turns out.

Taglist: @esthelily @the-dumber-scaramouche @grimreapersscythe @seawater-aurelia-writing @probablynoposts @genshin-impacts-me @itsredactedlove @chidouna @thedevioussmirk @hoo-hoo @chaoticfivesworld @akemiixx01 @lunarapple @nowords-onlybreathing @fangirlinindia @veyu002 @blackcoffex @kaveh-is-pretty @ariasdream @averycuriousperson @bloopthebat @chuuya-brainrot @crazydreamcat @sparklyphantom @multistanbee @bluebelony @mokakoto @mega-trash-cringe CLOSED

I apologize to anyone who has asked to be tagged over the past few days! Please know that I did see you but Tumblr is not allowing me to add anyone else to the Taglist :<

Also this blog has hit 200 followers in under two weeks… umm HELLO? where did all of you come from?!? Seriously though, I appreciate all of the love and support you all have given this story 🙏 I love you all platonically ofc !!!

#genshin cult #genshin cult au #sagau #genshin impact sagau #genshin sagau #imposter sagau #sagau impostor au #self aware genshin #sagau Fatui #sagau x reader

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slamdunkhcs · 1 month ago

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I found a couple other old essays. I dont even remember writing this. 😭😭😭

the importance of failure in slam dunk

At the heart of the Slam Dunk manga lies the journey of Hanamichi Sakuragi, an immature and often ridiculous delinquent who finds redemption and development not in his victories, but in his failures. While his triumphs—such as him leading to Shohoku winning against Sannoh—are often at the forefront of fans’ minds, it is his failures that truly define his arc. Inoue’s genius lies in how he uses these missteps, both comedic and heartbreaking, to slowly strip away Sakuragi’s insecurities and guide him toward self-realization. This essay examines how Sakuragi’s failures, ranging from his rejection of basketball to his pivotal injury at Nationals, form the emotional and thematic core of the manga. In Sakuragi’s imperfections, Slam Dunk captures something universal: what it means to fail, to rise, and to find beauty in the struggle. As the rapper J. Cole once said, “There’s beauty in the struggle.”

Sakuragi’s story begins with rejection—a theme that repeats throughout his arc. Before the series even starts, we learn that he’s been turned down by fifty girls, a fact that he loudly exaggerates to mask his own embarrassment. His arrogance is a facade, one meant to protect him from the constant fear of not being enough. When Haruko Akagi enters his life, her kind demeanor and genuine enthusiasm for basketball give Sakuragi something he’s been searching for: a sense of hope.

Though not without its complications. Haruko’s admiration for Kaede Rukawa, Sakuragi’s rival in love and on the court, creates a dynamic between the two where every interaction is charged with Sakuragi’s jealousy, bitterness, and the need to prove himself. These failures in love reflect his early struggles on the basketball court: full of bluster, but ultimately rooted in a deep yearning for validation.

Sakuragi’s first steps on the court are anything but graceful. He fouls. He trips. He flails in spectacular fashion. And then there’s Captain Takenori Akagi, a towering figure of discipline and seriousness, who sees right through Sakuragi’s facade. In one particularly memorable moment, after being harshly scolded by Akagi for his antics, Sakuragi storms out of the gym, declaring that he’s done with basketball. It’s a telling moment: Sakuragi’s ego can’t handle criticism, and his instinct is to run away when faced with failure.

But Sakuragi comes back. Perhaps it’s Haruko’s encouragement, or maybe it’s the sting of Akagi’s words, but something pushes him to return. It’s a small act, but it marks the beginning of his transformation. Though his early games are riddled with mistakes, airballs, turnovers, even scoring on his own basket, these failures chip away at his arrogance, revealing a resilience he didn’t know he had. Inoue doesn’t shy away from showing how difficult growth can be. Sakuragi’s journey is not a straight line; it’s a series of stumbles, each one teaching him something new about himself.

The most profound moment of Sakuragi’s journey comes during Shohoku’s legendary game against Sannoh at the Nationals. It is the culmination of everything he has fought for—the respect of his team, the recognition of his talent, and his own sense of belonging. When Sakuragi makes the dramatic final shot, securing victory for Shohoku, it feels like the perfect ending to his story. But it’s not. His triumph is bittersweet, overshadowed by the cost: a severe back injury that forces him to sit out the rest of the tournament.

For Sakuragi, who has only just begun to understand what basketball means to him, this loss is devastating. After spending so much of the series trying to prove himself—first to Haruko, then to Akagi, and finally to his team—he is faced with the harsh reality that his body, like his ego, has limits. And yet, it is in this moment of loss that Sakuragi experiences his most profound growth. He doesn’t wallow in self-pity or rage at the unfairness of it all. Instead, he commits himself to rehabilitation with the same fiery determination he once reserved for proving people wrong. For the first time, Sakuragi is not playing for validation; he is playing because he loves the game.

Inoue captures this shift wonderfully, letting Sakuragi’s actions speak louder than his words. His injury, rather than breaking him, becomes a turning point. It is no longer about the crowd’s praise or Haruko’s admiration—it is about finding joy in the struggle, in the effort itself.

Sakuragi’s failures don’t just shape his individual growth; they also deepen his relationships with his teammates. Early in the series, his arrogance isolates him, as he sees basketball as a platform for personal glory rather than a team effort. This is particularly evident in his rocky relationship with Captain Akagi, who initially regards Sakuragi as a nuisance unworthy of the sport. Over time, however, his mistakes force him to rely on others. Akagi’s stern guidance, Miyagi’s quick assists, and even Mitsui’s sharpshooting show how basketball is a team sport—a lesson Sakuragi learns through repeated failure.

His relationship with Kaede Rukawa also evolves significantly through this lens. Initially, Sakuragi views Rukawa as nothing more than a rival to be humiliated, both on the court and in Haruko’s eyes. This one-sided antagonism leads to numerous comedic confrontations, such as Sakuragi deliberately fouling Rukawa in practice out of jealousy. But as the series progresses, their rivalry becomes one of mutual respect. A key moment occurs during the Sannoh game, when Rukawa silently acknowledges Sakuragi’s contribution with a fist bump. This small, yet deeply significant gesture, highlights how far Sakuragi has come—not just as a player, but as someone capable of earning and giving respect.

What sets Slam Dunk apart from other sports manga is its refusal to romanticize perfection. Sakuragi’s growth is not marked by MVP titles or championship trophies but by the incremental changes in his character. By the end of the series, he remains imperfect—still impulsive, still prone to overconfidence—but those flaws are what make him human. His failures do not define him as a player; they define him as a person.

Inoue’s portrayal of Sakuragi’s transformation is marked by moments of both comedy and deep emotional weight. For instance, his iconic rebound against Sannoh—a moment of pure athletic brilliance—feels earned precisely because of the countless errors that preceded it. It’s not a product of raw talent but of hard work, resilience, and the lessons learned from failure. This balance between failure and success mirrors the unpredictability of real life, where growth often comes not from moments of triumph but from the struggles that lead up to them.

Slam Dunk is a story of triumph, but not in the way one might expect. What sets the series apart from other sports stories is its refusal to romanticize perfection. Sakuragi doesn’t end the series as an unstoppable force or a perfect player. He remains impulsive, rough around the edges, and prone to mistakes. But it’s these imperfections that make his journey so compelling.

By the end of the series, Sakuragi’s story isn’t about winning over the girl or becoming the best player on the court. It’s about finding joy in the struggle, embracing the process of growth, and discovering that failure isn’t something to be feared—it’s something to learn from. His story reminds us that the art of losing is not about failure itself, but about the courage to rise again, no matter how many times we fall.

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babyangelsky · 25 days ago

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My Favorite QL Lines of 2024 💖✨

Welcome to Babyangelsky's 2024 Wrap Up! To commemorate my second year of watching QL dramas, and my first year of actually talking on my blog, I've compiled a series of lists to celebrate all the QL things I loved this year!

Please feel free to take my categories and make lists of your own and tag me in them if you do!

💜 All the lists can be found here! 💜

There are two things that will make a line or piece of dialogue stand out to me: the words themselves or the delivery. Sometimes it's only one of those things and sometimes it's both. When it's both? That line is going to stick in my brain for all eternity.

♡ From: Unknown

Listen. Listen. This wasn't just my favorite line of the year, it's one of my favorite lines in any piece of media I've consumed ever. EVER. IN MY WHOLE LIFE. It dethroned my former favorite BL line with the devastating force of a thousand suns. The longing and the love and the horniness are unspeakable and immaculate. Qian is going to hear those words echoing in his head for as long as he lives and so am I.

♡ From: Unknown

Another one from Unknown, which started us off so strong this year that it immediately became of one my favorite BLs. Yuan was just so reassuring and comforting in this scene. He's always been Qian's light and he will continue to be and that makes me so happy.

♡ From: Mr. Mitsuya's Planned Feeding

I just really liked the delivery of this one. I also appreciate someone who appreciates a good expression. If Ishida wasn't so completely gone for Mitsuya-sensei, I bet Noguchi would show him a good time.

♡ From: Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo

*the sound of pained wailing comes from over in the corner*

♡ From: Kidnap

Was Kidnap a deeply unserious cotton candy show? Yes and I'm not here to tell you otherwise. But one thing it handled really well was Q's journey toward healing, which is a rare and lovely thing to see. This line and this moment were a part of that journey. Even though Q may still have nightmares sometimes, he knows he's no longer alone and that he has the tools and the support to help himself through.

♡ From: Love Sea

IT WAS HOT. THAT'S IT THAT'S MY REASONING, IT WAS THE HOTTEST THING MAHASAMUT SAID THE ENTIRE SHOW.

♡ From: Our Youth

*screams into one of those couch pillows*

The second I heard this line I thought to myself "Oh. This show is gonna be one of those." AND IT IS. The way Haruki's voice drops to a raspy whisper? The way the scene is silent except for the very soft sound coming from the TV? The way they're just so aware of each other?

*screams again*

♡ From: The Loyal Pin

This is my favorite line in Anin's confession monologue but the entire thing is beautiful and it's delivered beautifully by Becky. She's expressing so much and there's so much desperation and love and frustration in every little quiver of her voice. It's spectacular.

♡ From: Love Sea

And this was the realest and the pettiest and bitchiest thing he said the entire show, and for that I am deeply grateful. I hope to one day have the opportunity to say this about someone. Character of all time.

♡ From: Cherry Magic (Th)

I think it screams speaks for itself really.

♡ From: Jack & Joker

*more pained wailing comes from over in the corner*

♡ From: High School Frenemy

Yes yes yes, it's technically a bromance whatever but it's a BL to ME and I used up all my restraint not adding them to the couples list.

This is very far from being the most unhinged thing that Saint has ever said to Shin but it was so earnest and there was so much love and he endured so much pain so Shin wouldn't have to and they just have my whole heart. They love each other so much and this hug meant so much.

♡ From: The On1y One

I've written about this line before but it deserves to be talked about again because I still think about it all the time. It's one of those cases where it isn't so much the actual words that stuck in my brain, but the delivery. The cadence and the tone and the emotion. This was a spectacular performance from Liu Dong Qin and he deserves all the praise in the world for it.

I really hope we get that second season 🥲

♡ From: At 25:00 in Akasaka

This is me watching these shows. I feel seen and represented by this line and I've used it very often as a reaction image.

♡ From: The Trainee

I HAVE STILL NOT RECOVERED FROM THE "PHI" I WILL NEVER GET OVER THE "PHI" I WILL SCREAM ABOUT THE "PHI" FOR THE NEXT THOUSAND YEARS.

♡ From: Our Youth

I was actually just going to include the kiss line in this list but THEN HARUKI HIT ME WITH THIS STEEL CHAIR AND LEFT ME SCREAMING ON THE GROUND ON A TUESDAY AFTERNOON.

It's the delivery and the words and the utter SILENCE and the tension simmering beneath it all and just--

Exquisite. It's exquisite.

♡ From: Love for Love's Sake

The sheer earnestness of this line. The disarmingly sweet expression on Yeo Woon's face. The very cute, very subtle little pout. I love everything that's happening in this scene. Absolutely everything.

♡ From: Battle of the Writers

Not just this line specifically, but Pie's entire confession, which was one of the best and most earnest confessions we got all year. So much so that it's almost a crime that he and Ozone weren't the main couple. Even though there weren't many people who watched this show, everyone deserves to experience this confession in its entirety so allow me to transcribe it:

"What do you want me to say? You want me to say that...I have inappropriate thoughts about you? That I care about every little thing you do? To say that...I don't know when I started liking you? To say that, in Chiang Mai, I couldn't control my heartbeat when I was with you? Or to say that when you were with Min, I couldn't help but feel jealous? To say that at my nephew's wedding, I couldn't resist stealing a kiss from you? I don't want to complicate things. I don't want to get involved with you. I don't want to love you. But I also want you to stay with me."

#babyangelsky's 2024 wrap up #unknown the series #let free the curse of taekwondo #mr. mitsuya's planned feeding #love sea #our youth #kidnap the series #the trainee #love for love's sake #battle of the writers #the on1y one #cherry magic th #high school frenemy #jack and joker #the loyal pin #at 25:00 in akasaka

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kandadze · 11 days ago

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FoF rewatch ep 5-6: Zhuo Yichen and Zhuo Yixuan (gifs and loose thoughts)

It might be because I'm an only child, that I tend to gravitate towards sibling - whether by blood or found - relationships. One of my favorite books growing up was Astrid Lindgren's "The Brothers Lionheart." I'm more likely to watch a show if it has an ensemble cast of characters who are in all sorts of familial and otherwise close situationships (hello, FoF). (Must also be why I finished watching My Journey To You the first time - due to my morbid fascination with the absolutely dysfunctional, codependent, borderline incestuous and in general fucked up dynamic between the eldest and the youngest of the Gong "brothers"... not sure what that says about me lol)

Back to the Zhuo brothers.

I loved Zhuo Yixuan the moment he appeared in ep 5 (and not only because I have a soft spot for his actor). I do realize that we get an idealized version of him, seeing him only through the eyes of someone who loved him and then lost him too early, and I still think he was a remarkable guy.

I believe that he can be considered one of the biggest influences on who ZYC is as a person. (The other one would be WX, but that's a whole separate post.) As far as the Zhuo family goes, we know there was a father, but even though he is mentioned, it's never by name, and he never features in any of ZYC's memories, either - which makes me assume that he was a father just by title, and not very close with either of the brothers.

As for their mother, we were told that she died when ZYC was little, so I imagine ZYX himself was a teenager at most at the time. Now imagine this young boy, having just lost his mother, and with barely any support from his father, not only raising himself, but also becoming a whole-ass family unit (mother, father and brother) to his Xiao-Chen. And, even allowing that ZYC's memories only show us the best moments with his big brother, seeing what we can of ZYC's character, I think ZYX did a spectacular job.

He's most likely the reason why ZYC, even socially awkward and shy, draws people in - whether demon, half-god, or human child that's a little bit of both. As long as someone doesn't pose an active threat, he just does his best to do what his big brother used to do for him - asks questions, listens patiently, responds from his personal experience and to the best of his ability. ZYX didn't ridicule him for having nightmares or being scared to dream; he reassured him and then looked for ways to help. ZYX didn't force him into making connections with other children when it was clear it was too painful; he did his best to be there when it mattered and let nature take its course.

There's that scene in later eps where ZYX does his sword training while ZYC entertains himself in the vicinity. It's obvious the brothers enjoyed each other's company, but also had their own pastimes and commitments (the nightmare in ep 6 starts with ZYC doing his own training while ZYX is away). There's the scene with ZYC trying on that delicate golden headband, and ZYX teaching him what it meant to wear one (made me think of a book I read years ago, which featured an apparently Anglo-Saxon tradition of boys up to a certain age wearing a headband woven with 7 strips of white cloth for pretty much the same reasons as ZYX explained to ZYC). He clearly taught his baby brother some sound principles.

I'm also assuming that ZYX was quite lonely himself. In ZYC's memories he's of age to marry and have a child, but there's no other family around that we can see, or that would get mentioned. ZYC must've intuited that, asking ZYX if he's the same as him - as in, misunderstood, and lonely, and his big brother just smiles and doesn't answer, clearly not wanting to burden him.

He instead shares what I think was what he got from being born into Bingyi line - a gift of foresight. I might be reaching, but in my mind ZYX foretold many events in ZYC's life - meeting ZYZ (the "anomaly," that ZYC will recognize not with his eyes, but his heart! The Truth Eye parallels are everywhere...), meeting like-minded companions, waking up the Cloud Light Sword... He seems to have hoped for all the best for his baby brother, not for himself. Which again, makes me emotional at just how good of a man he was, and how he helped ZYC to become someone who's not afraid to be open and soft, who's able to change his mind as new information presents itself, who's emotionally intelligent and does his best to see the world clearly.

We'll never know what would have become of the brothers had ZYX survived, but I believe that if he could see his Xiao-Chen now, he'd be very very proud.

#the zhuo brothers have my whole heart and then some #we stan zhuo yixuan in this house #fangs of fortune #zhuo yichen #zhuo yixuan #fof rewatch ep 5 #fof rewatch ep 6 #fof gif by me #fof musings

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youlikefanficdontyousquidward · 3 months ago

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A meddling high king

Elrond x Male!Elf!Reader

Summary:High King Gil-Galad conspires to bring his herald closer to one of his guards

Just a short one while I figure stuff out for By Moonlight! I might want to do some rings of power requests soon, I have a few smutty ideas ( •̀ .̫ •́ )✧

Heavy is the head that wears the crown and Gil-Galad's head certainly felt like lead these days. With Galadriel's concerns and pointless meetings with ambitious courtiers he felt he was well justified in making a little bit of fun.

His newest project had been born of an old bit of entertainment grown stale. Despite his heralds silver tongue he had yet to woo the object of his affection. In fact as of late Gil-Galad had become convinced Elrond may not even realise his own feelings. How he could remain so oblivious was beyond him however. As every eloquent word seemed to leave Elrond in the presence of one of Lindon's guards.

Gil-Galad was fond of this guard himself, though it was an entirely platonic appreciation. He was just a very calming presence. No fawning or awkwardness under the scrutiny of his High King, just a dutiful quiet man. Though Gil-Galad was far too observant not to notice his albeit subtle reactions to Elrond's presence.

Just last week he'd watched as Elrond took notes in a meeting with a rather dull member of the court. Y/n had stood against the wall, ready for his call but Gil-Galad noted his eyes shifting back to his herald as the hours dragged on.

Then Elrond had paused in his note taking. His curls had fallen into his face, haven grown long as of late. He swept them back, his fingers splaying and running through the waves and just for a moment Gil-Galad watched his guard stiffen.

Then not two days prior Gil-Galad had spied Elrond's attempts at conversation with the man. The ellon who wrote his speeches, who prided himself on his recall of poetry and prose, now fumbled over simple small talk.

Gil-Galad believed he'd meant to make some comment on the unseasonable chill but had somehow so expertly fumbled his words as to imply his guard was standoffish and cold. Then in a spectacular display of stuttered half sentences manged to call him foolish and then trip over the low wall of the garden.

Any man would've been right to let him land face first in the shrubbery but not Y/n. He'd instead caught the buffoon and pulled him swiftly to his feet and right into his arms. Then as if he couldn't have made Elrond blush deeper he'd laughed heartily. Such a sudden and melodic sound that Gil-Galad himself was surprised it came from his quiet guard. Then to seal the deal had told the quickly reddening ellon that any day would be warmed by his company.

Yet, Gil-Galad noted, neither had made any move to begin a courtship. He supposed his guard may feel it inappropriate to engage in such behaviour with another in service to himself. Though perhaps not, as Gil-Galad had approved of many such unions in his presence. So it may be something a lot simpler though uncharacteristic of a man he'd seen leap into ravenous warg's path without a second thought.

He was scared.

Thus, as all things, it seemed to fall into Gil-Galad's hands to rectify the situation. So when opportunity struck he sent his favoured guard along side Elrond and Celebrimbor. Gil-Galad smiled into his goblet at the thought of the journey. Of Elrond and Y/n spending hours trekking together. Growing comfortable in each others presence.

He could just imagine Elrond's flushed expression when they'd arrive at Eregion. Where a Lord's duties would pull Celebrimbor from the group and leave them alone at last. Would they stroll together in the cities gardens? Take a trip past the bridge to lunch at the river banks? Could Elrond steady his heart long enough to recite a few verses?Would he come to see Y/n's admiration? Whatever they did he did not suppose it mattered, after all they'd be in each others company and that'd be enough.

#elrond x reader #the rings of power imagine #my fics #elrond fanfic #male reader

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rea-grimm · 1 month ago

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Until we meet again - Corpse groom cook

You shed a tear on the text in the newspaper, which under the water turned from your eyes into an unreadable stain. More and more tears began to fall on the newspaper, sliding down your cheeks and from there into the newspaper.

News coo brought you the new copy you bought a while ago. Thanks to the newspaper at sea, you were able to keep some sort of track of what was going on where, and what it said today nearly broke your heart.

You read about how Mihawk, during his hunt for Don Krieg, destroyed a very famous restaurant called the Baratie. That was the unexpected price of their conflict.

The fall of the restaurant brought with it a lot of casualties, both from customers who didn't have time to evacuate and employees. There was a list of names of fallen victims that you immediately ran your eyes over. You were looking for one particular name that interested you the most.

As soon as your eyes fell on that name, you felt your eyes begin to moisten, and that was the moment when you remembered the promise you had made with that name, and when your tears began to dissolve the text in the newspaper.

A few years ago, you were very close to Sanji. You were working as a waitress in Baratie, waiting for an opportunity to fulfil your dream. You wanted to see the world and sail the seas other than East Blue. Like Sanji, you wanted to find All Blue, but when you suggested it to the chef, he wasn't having it.

You hoped that one day it would happen that Sanji would set out on a journey together and you would find All Blue together. But when the opportunity presented itself, you booked a boat for the two of them.

You wanted to tell him the news and you expected him to go with you while he had a surprise for you too. Sanji had booked the best balcony for the two of you for dinner that night, where you had a spectacular view of the sunset, and he prepared a more luxurious meal than normal, a table adorned with candlesticks and a small vase of roses.

The food was already served and you were about to sit down when he stopped you with a question. You nodded in agreement, expecting something ordinary. You didn't expect Sanji to reach into his pocket and pull out a small box before getting down on one knee.

With that he asked you to marry him and if you would be the one to find All Blue with him. You were touched by this and most wanted to say your yes, but you still wanted to tell him your news.

"I would love to. I've got a boat arranged, we can go together. It will be our start together," you replied excitedly, taking his hand.

You saw a hesitant look cross Sanji's face. If he could, he would have come with you right away, but according to him, the restaurant and especially Zeff needed him. He felt like he still owed him.

What was supposed to be your romantic dinner full of joy and excitement turned into a strange silence between the two of you, as you both realized, that this was the moment when your paths were supposed to part. Before this dinner, you had spoken to Zeff, and today was the end of your work commitment at the restaurant.

After a moment, Sanji finally stood up, the box of rings still in his hands. He took your hand and placed the ring in your palm.

"Sanji," you said in a weak voice, rather uncomprehendingly. Sanji shook his head to keep you from saying anything.

"I want you to keep my ring and I'll keep yours. It will be our promise for the future. You mean more to me than you know and I'm not going to give you up just like that. Therefore, when we meet again, you will give it back to me and tell me your answer right away," he said, closing your palm with the ring.

Up until now, you thought you would keep your promise. Even though you were far away from him, you still had the ring hidden on a chain resting around your neck.

You wiped the tears from your eyes and held the ring with one hand as if to connect with what Sanji was supposed to be carrying. You kept hoping it wasn't true.

After all, they wrote that many bodies were buried by the sea and many were not found. You hoped that Sanji might have been an exception, but you had the impression that it was just wishful thinking.

It took you some time, as you were an awful long way from the site of the sinking of the Baratie and the location of the grave and memorial to the victims and one of the finest restaurants in the world.

The sky was dark and even the land around looked like it was mourning the loss. You stood at the memorial and paused at the cross with Sani's name on it. You closed your eyes and again you felt the tears stinging your eyes.

You tried to push them back and bent over the grave. You took the ring off your neck and hung it on a small cross.

"I'm sorry it turned out this way. I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise... that I couldn't give you my yes..." you said weakly. Your words were barely audible over the strong wind and rough seas.

Suddenly everything around you went quiet. The wind stopped blowing and the sea seemed to calm down. No birds were singing and only the faint rustling of leaves, which eventually died down too. The temperature dropped slightly until a chill ran down your spine. It was as silent as the grave.

"Y/N?" came a familiar voice. You immediately turned around and couldn't believe your eyes. Standing right in front of you was the Sanji you thought had died.

"Sanji?" You asked as if you still didn't believe your eyes. "You're not dead?" You asked with a husk in your voice before throwing yourself into his arms. You were so glad he was still here.

The cook was surprised at first, but then he hugged you back and rested his chin on your head. However, he didn't answer your question. He just said he was glad to see you again.

As you clung to him, you got the impression that something was wrong. You got the impression that you didn't feel his classic warmth, but rather a coldness coming off him despite all his clothes. Plus, with your head on his chest, you couldn't hear his heartbeat. Nor did the breath from his nose or mouth ruffle your hair.

You pulled away from him slightly and looked into his face. You noticed that even his skin was a lighter shade than before.

"What happened to you?" You finally asked, as it was all strange and you couldn't put your finger on it.

"I knew I wouldn't hold anything back from you," he sighed in resignation. He wanted to avoid it since he wasn't sure of everything himself yet. "Truth be told, I didn't survive," he finally admitted, looking you in the eye.

"But, you're standing here with me... That's impossible..." you said and let it go. Sure you've heard of zombies, but it was the fault of the man with the demon fruit.

"I don't really understand it myself, but I know I died. The fight between Don Krieg and Mihawk was brutal and unstoppable. The next thing I know, I was digging through my own grave..." he explained, and to make you believe him, he let go of you and took a step back.

Only now did you notice that his hands were covered with gloves. You'd never seen him wearing gloves before. His hands as a cook were his pride and joy.

"Just don't be scared," he said before lighting a cigarette. He took a drag from it before removing his gloves, revealing one completely bony hand. The other hand was still in normal condition.

That alone made you wide-eyed when you realized that wasn't all. Sanji lifted his hand and brushed back the hair that covered his eye, where there was now an empty hole.

After that, he undid a few more buttons from his shirt, revealing his chest, with a chunk of flesh and skin missing and all you could see were his clean ribs.

"But how?" You asked, your eyes darting between his bony parts and his eyes.

"I'm not sure myself, but believe me, even being like this now hasn't changed my feelings for you. Not a day goes by that I don't think about you and our dream of finding All Blue," he said, pulling a ring from his breast pocket.

After that, he still confessed to you that he sailed with Luffy and the others when he had the feeling or the urge to come back here. Something inside him urged him to return to his grave site and to his surprise he found you there. In his words, it was simply fate.

You had a lot to say to each other and since Luffy's ship was docked nearby, he invited you aboard. Like him, you wanted to spend more time with him and catch up on what had happened in the meantime.

Everyone on board immediately accepted you and before you could even look around, Luffy invited you to join his crew.

That same evening, Sanji invited you to dinner, setting up a private table away from every one, with privacy for just the two of you. It felt a little like a deja vu, the last time you saw him.

Dinner was peaceful, and you had a pleasant conversation and a good laugh as you told stories of your travels. You had no idea how much you missed this. Sure, your travels were fine, and you didn't miss anything, but, no one else could replace this.

Sanji asked you that same night if you wanted to join him and Luffy's pirates. He took your hand and asked if you would go All blue together. This time you accepted and said yes. That night you finally exchanged the rings you had been wearing for so long.

Sanji Masterlist

#one piece #monster piece #one piece x reader #sanji x reader #sanji #vinsmoke sanji #undead #corpse cook sanji

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angel-fruitcake · 2 months ago

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as someone who is very deeply attached to the canon Supernatural universe, i typically struggle with AUs and therefore don't tend to read Destiel AU fics.

but this Titanic AU fic by @loserchildhotpants (who is now my friend!!) is unbelievably well-written, and so incredibly true to the characters that i absolutely fell in love with this universe nearly as much as i did with the canon one. the sheer amount of time, effort, and research that was put into creating this masterpiece really shines through in the way it's brought to life so beautifully. this story is just so richly detailed, it truly feels as though you're watching a movie (the movie)! plus, there are a ton of cleverly placed little SPN easter eggs sprinkled throughout, and each new one i found had me squealing in delight.

many, many tears were shed over this fic, but it was well worth it in the end. i encourage everyone to give this stunning work a chance! you may be afraid--i know i was when i started the journey. but trust in Melanie! she will not betray you 😌

and if you do decide to take the leap of faith, please. i beg of you:

Do Not Stop Reading Before The Epilogue ! 💕

☆ all artwork is also by Melanie (and posted with permission)! because she's a ridiculously talented human!! and make sure to check out her other works because they are all absolutely spectacular, you will not be disappointed!!

#pls read it #it deserves all the love #destiel #deancas #spn #supernatural #destiel fanfic #destiel fic rec #spn fanfic #fic recs #emily yaps

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ilikereadingactually · 9 months ago

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Lake of Souls

Lake of Souls by Ann Leckie

what can i even say about this?? i have already established my deep love for Ann Leckie's work, and this collection lives up to all possible expectations. it's spectacular. every single story is an absolute BANGER.

the first section, standalone stories unrelated to her novels, is brimming with surprises and delights. each new premise and scenario presented me with characters i understood and loved immediately, and took me on a journey of unexpected turns. fabulous for any speculative reader honestly, but so particularly wonderful to me and my adhd brain! the imagination and unpredictability of each story kept me absolutely glued, and opened doors into worlds that felt fully realized. i could easily read a novel in every single world Leckie created here, but the stories are also satisfying--i don't NEED a novel in any of them, they are perfectly satiating morsels of lembas bread.

and in the second section we get stories in the Imperial Radch universe, two of which i had actually read before during the deepest dives of my Radch obsession, but which were fantastic to revisit. again, the worldbuilding and character development both stand out as Leckie's greatest strengths, giving insight into times and places outside the scope of her novels with tantalizing bits of in-universe history and folklore. i spent some time yelling out loud about them.

the third section, i now have to confess, i haven't read yet--because they're stories set in the universe of The Raven Tower, which i also have not had time to read yet in between galleys and library books with due dates, and i'd prefer to go into the novel not knowing anything about the world. but i can't imagine, at this point, that any story in this section is going to somehow alter my love for this collection, which is already deep and abiding. looking forward to sneaking in a read of The Raven Tower and then coming back to this!!

the deets

how i read it: an e-galley from NetGalley, which i wanted to read immediately but had to prioritize other deadlines first, so it was sitting approved on my shelf for months calling to me T^T

try this if you: love SFF at its most speculative and imaginative, are compelled by well-developed characters, dig themes of language and translation and the meeting/clashing of cultural norms, or are into Leckie's other work (obv)!

some bits i really liked: it was super hard to choose, so here's connected bits that made me laugh and one that made me holler "BREQ PLEASE" out loud in my empty apartment

"And you left me behind," continued Great Among Millions. "Alone. They asked and asked me where you were and I did not know, though I wished to." It made a tiny, barely perceptible stomp. "They put me in a storeroom. In a box." ... "Eye of Merur," said the first of the Thirty-Six. "We're glad you're back." "They're glad you're back," whispered Great Among Millions, just behind Het's right shoulder. "They didn't spend the time in a box."

---

"She commands me," said Seven-Brilliant-Truths. "And I obey. Sister understands." "Yes," said Sister Ultimately-Justice, not even blinking.

pub date: April 2, 2024! That's tomorrow!!!!! Go get your copy!!

#books and reading #bookblr #booklr #book recs #book reviews #lake of souls #ann leckie #sf short fiction

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artsekey · 6 months ago

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A Spectacular, Spooky Spectacle!

I feel like I always preface these little game recommendations with, 'I'm not a gaming blog, but...', so I'll spare you this time.

(This post is not in any way sponsored-- I just like highlighting games that really knock it out of the park!)

Beacon Pines is a well-paced choose-your-own-adventure game with a compelling narrative that delivers at every turn. You step into the shoes of 12 year old Luka only a few months after his mother goes missing. Armed with nothing but the help of his good friend Rolo, the sly wit of his newest neighbor Beck, and the power of Charms, it's up to him to unearth the truth behind their quaint town... and save it from catastrophic ruin.

Without spoiling anything, Beacon Pines is gameplay light. Instead, it takes it's cues from the visual novel genre... with a twist. The story unfolds as a narrator guides you through the various chapters, and through your journey you'll encounter branches where one word makes all the difference. That's where you come in! Using the collection of terms you pick up by exploring the world, you can radically alter the course of fate. You'll rarely get everything right on your first try, but don't worry-- even failure is rewarded with new clues, new threads of the mystery, and new hooks that will draw you further into the story.

Sitting at a runtime of 5-7 hours, Beacon Pines is short but satisfying. The art is bright, fun, and well-rendered. The characters are all well written, and the music perfectly encapsulates whatever mood the story demands-- whether it's the comfort of a slow morning or a warning of danger in the dark.

However, the thing that really sets Beacon Pines apart from other visual novels is the writing! The mystery is a fun romp that keeps you guessing, the "multiple paths" mechanic is executed so well that you never really feel like you've made a bad choice, and best of all, the characters and their interactions feel sincere. I found myself smiling, laughing, sometimes stunned silent, sometimes teary-eyed... Though the game is short, the world is just deep enough for the story and it's characters to swim.

Beacon Pines is really just... sweet and genuine. I think that's the best way to describe it. If you need something to whittle away a few hours and get away from it all and like story-driven games, give Beacon Pines a go! It was recently on sale for $4.00, but it usually retails for $20.00.

For reference, other games I love that I'd put in a similar category (note, not the same-- I'm mostly looking at high-quality narrative games here! I'm providing this so you can decide if my taste aligns with yours!):

Firewatch

Oxenfree

Disco Elysium

TellTale Games (Tales of Monkey Island, Tales from the Borderlands, etc)

Inside

Night in the Woods

Slay the Princess

#beacon pines #game recs #game reccomendations #story-rich #story-driven

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perfectsunlight · 5 months ago

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19 ⸺ YERI

warnings: none

word count: 3.6k

part of the series: LOGICAL

“yeri, your shoes are untied.”

the five year old looked down at her shoes, the laces flopping around her tiny ankles. she fumbled with them, her small fingers struggling to tie them properly. her aunt, kim taeyeon, crouched beside her, offering a gentle hand.

“let me help you with that,” taeyeon said, tying the laces with practiced ease. “we wouldn’t want you tripping on the court.”

yeri’s eyes shone with adoration as she looked up at her aunt. she had spent hours watching videos of the olympian playing, studying every move taeyeon made with complete fascination. the sheer power of her gameplay had captivated yeri from a young age, and even though she was young, yeri knew exactly what she wanted to do with her life.

“i want to be just like you, aunt taeyeon,” yeri mentioned as she put her hands on her hips, her voice filled with determination. “i want to be an olympian too.”

taeyeon’s heart warmed at yeri’s words. she had always been a source of inspiration for her niece, but hearing yeri express such a clear desire to follow in her footsteps was both humbling and motivating. she gently ruffled her niece’s hair before standing back up.

“then let's get you started.”

looking back, yeri didn’t know how taeyeon didn’t give up on her. the first time she tried dribbling, the ball bounced off of her foot and went off the court somewhere to the side. when she tried a layup, she jumped far too early and completely missed the backboard.

each mistake felt like a small defeat, but taeyeon was always there, offering gentle corrections and endless encouragement.

“it’s okay to make mistakes,” taeyeon would say softly. “it’s just another step towards getting better.”

yeri remembered those early sessions vividly—her cheeks flushed with embarrassment, her heart sinking with every clumsy move. but her aunt’s unwavering support was like a steady beacon, guiding her through the frustration. whenever yeri felt like giving up, her aunt’s voice reminded her why she started and why it was worth pushing through.

as yeri grew, her skills started to improve, but the journey was far from smooth. she struggled with coordination, her form still imperfect. yet, each small victory—whether it was a successful dribble or a well-placed shot—felt monumental after all the challenges she’d faced. it was clear that her progress came from relentless practice and taeyeon’s unyielding belief in her.

then came the day when everything shifted.

yeri and y/n were curled up on the couch, watching an old video of taeyeon’s game. the screen showed taeyeon dribbling and making a spectacular pass.

“look at aunt taeyeon!” yeri said, her eyes glued to the tv. “she’s so fast and cool.” y/n, only five at the time, slowly blinked and pointed at the tv with her small hand. “her,” she said, pointing to one of the defenders on screen. “she’s looking the wrong way. that’s why she didn’t see my mom.”

yeri squinted at the screen. “oh, i mean i guess. but didn’t you see the pass?” the older girl was confused. she had watched this game numerous times, and she knew her aunt was good, but it never dawned on her to look at anyone else on the court.

“uh-huh,” y/n nodded quickly, “but that other girl wasn’t even watching. and the one on the other side didn’t move fast enough. they should’ve been closer to my mom.”

kim yeri’s confusion deepened. she knew y/n had seen her fair share of her mother’s games, but y/n’s observations were on another level. yeri watched as her younger cousin picked apart every detail with ease.

“wow,” yeri said, still trying to catch up. “i didn’t notice any of that. i just saw aunt taeyeon being amazing.”

“yeri, are you ready?” taeyeon’s voice cut through the living room as she pulled a cap over her head. her sharp eyes quickly glanced at the tv before chuckling softly. “you’re watching that again?”

the older girl looked up, a mixture of embarrassment and eagerness on her face. “it’s almost done, aunt taeyeon. i was just showing y/n how you play.”

the olypmian’s gaze shifted to her daughter, who was still absorbed in the game. “oh, and what do you think of it, kiddo?” y/n looked up with wide eyes, hesitantly turning back to the tv to answer her mother’s question.

“the girl in blue didn’t look the right way.”

taeyeon raised an eyebrow, intrigued. she glanced at the screen, watching her younger self set up another play for her team. it was one of the earlier games of her career, against japan in a showcase tournament. she remembered it like it was yesterday, as she did with every game.

“really? what else do you see?”

y/n pointed at the screen, her tiny finger tracing the movements. “that girl didn’t move fast enough, and that other one was too far away. i think they should have been closer to you, mommy.”

sharp eyes widened slightly, a mixture of surprise and pride crossing her face. her daughter definitely had the eyes for the game, especially at such a young age. taeyeon’s mind raced with the possibilities.

“you know what? i think it’d be great if you practiced with yeri from now on.”

—

the gym was buzzing with excitement as the middle school basketball teams prepared for their big game. yeri, now in 7th grade, was a starting player for the a team. her 6th-grade cousin, y/n, had been placed on the same team as a third-string point guard. despite being so low on the roster, it was a rare opportunity for a younger player to compete against 7th and 8th graders.

“yeri?” the mentioned girl looked at her cousin while they quickly finished stretching. “what’s wrong?” the older girl asked, concern etched in her features. “did someone tell you something?” she quickly looked around, her head scanning the court and the crowd for no one in particular. yeri was used to her aunt’s reputation becoming intertwined with hers. she was used to the small comments and the comparisons. however, she knew that her younger cousin was going to have it worse than she did, especially since she was already making her own mark.

y/n pointed to yeri’s shoes, which were once again untied. “your laces are untied.” she said softly as she glanced over at her mother, who was watching in the stands. “my mom was looking at them, too.”

“aw man, again?”

the game started with high intensity. yeri and her teammates gave it their all, but by the end of the third quarter, they were trailing by 20 points. the scoreboard glared with the opposing team’s lead, and frustration was evident on the faces of yeri and her teammates.

taeyeon, sitting in the stands with a mix of concern and hope, glanced over at her daughter. y/n was seated on the bench, fidgeting with the hem of her yellow jersey. the olympian always hated yellow jerseys, but seeing her daughter in one made her reconsider her opinion.

as the game dragged on, the score gap widened, and taeyeon’s worry grew. her daughter, despite her exceptional talent, was sitting on the bench. she watched as y/n’s small figure shifted restlessly, her determination evident even from a distance.

“come on,” she muttered under her breath as her eyes shifted to the coach. “put her in already.”

the coach paced along the sidelines, clearly stressed by the way the game was slipping away. with just minutes left in the third quarter and the team down by twenty points, he finally looked toward y/n. he hesitated, glancing between his first-string players and the eager 6th grader sitting on the end of the bench.

taeyeon knew her age wasn’t the only reason why he didn’t want to put her in. he knew exactly who y/n’s mother was—everyone did. taeyeon’s legacy loomed large, and the former olympian could tell he didn’t want to be accused of favoritism.

however, there was also an edge of resentment beneath his hesitance, a belief that y/n was only where she was because of her mother’s name.

he had been the same way with yeri when she first joined the team, but it wasn’t nearly as bad. yeri had to prove herself too, but y/n? she was met with even colder shoulders, sharper critiques, and an unspoken expectation that she had to be flawless just to be seen as average.

y/n knew she could turn things around, but she was also well aware of why she wasn’t being put in.

taeyeon clenched her jaw, watching the coach as he stubbornly kept y/n benched. it was infuriating. the game was slipping away—twenty points down and only one quarter left. the starters looked exhausted, and the second string had already faltered, but he still refused to call on her daughter.

she could see the frustration building in y/n, who was still fidgeting with her jersey, glancing at the court with impatience. yeri was getting frustrated, too. whenever yeri wasn’t with y/n, she got frustrated. taeyeon knew this firsthand since she had been training yeri and y/n had been training together for years.

yeri was always sharper, more focused, when y/n was on the court with her. without her younger cousin, yeri’s movements were getting sloppy, her frustration leaking into every play. it was a vicious cycle—yeri messed up, got mad at herself, and then messed up again. taeyeon could see it all unfolding like a bad rerun, and their coach was either too blind to notice or too stubborn to care.

yeri, despite her best efforts, kept glancing toward the bench where y/n sat. the gap between them wasn’t just physical—it was mental. y/n was the calming presence that kept yeri’s nerves in check, and right now, she was spiraling without that anchor. the whole team was unraveling, and everyone could see it except the one person who could do something about it.

finally, with a scowl that made it clear he was acting out of desperation rather than belief in y/n’s abilities, the coach yelled, “kim! get in there!”

taeyeon’s eyes narrowed at the way he spoke to her daughter, but y/n didn’t flinch. she simply nodded and jogged onto the court, her small frame brimming with confidence that belied her years. for just one moment, y/n took a quick glance back at her mother.

the olympian’s lips curved into a small smile, and y/n knew she had her mother’s full support.

once y/n stepped on the court, something shifted. despite her small size compared to the older players, there was a sense of calmness about her. the moment the ball was in her hands, she scanned the court like she was reading a book. it wasn’t about her skill alone—it was about how she understood the game at its core.

yeri’s frustration physically vanished off her features once she saw her younger cousin in action. it was like a switch flipped. the uncertainty that had clouded yeri’s play all game melted away as she watched y/n take command of the court. despite being a year younger and significantly shorter than the eighth graders towering around her, y/n played with a level of poise and intelligence far beyond her age.

y/n didn’t waste time trying to impress anyone with flashy moves. instead, she focused on breaking down the defense, picking apart their weaknesses like it was second nature. she noticed how the tallest girl on the other team was slow on her rotations, how one of the guards kept favoring her right side, and how another player hesitated every time she switched on defense. y/n exploited all of it with simple but effective plays, directing her teammates with quick gestures and sharp glances.

yeri, catching onto y/n’s rhythm, fell right in line. the way they played together felt like clockwork—smooth, precise, and unforced. y/n knew exactly where yeri would be without even looking, and yeri trusted her cousin completely, letting go of the tension that had plagued her earlier in the game. they worked in tandem, reading each other’s movements as naturally as breathing.

the other players started feeding off y/n’s energy, and within just mere moments, they began chipping away at the lead. taeyeon leaned forward, her heart pounding as the gap narrowed.

every time y/n made a play, it was like watching a young version of herself—but there was something different, something more refined.

the game ended with their school winning, and y/n had managed to help beat the opposing team by 10 extra points. from that day forward, y/n was chosen as the starting point guard for every single game that season.

—

the summer heat hung heavy in the air as yeri and y/n sat side by side on the old court they’d spent so many hours on as kids. the echoes of bouncing balls and squeaking sneakers had faded, leaving only the quiet hum of cicadas and the faint buzz of distant traffic.

y/n was on the brink of entering ygu as a first-year student while yeri was about to enter her second year. the younger girl leaned back against the cool metal of the bleachers while yeri sat beside her, staring at the worn-down lines of the court with a distant look in her eyes. ygu’s summer training started in just a week, but taeyeon had the two girls working since the day they got out for summer vacation.

in the past, yeri would be over the moon knowing that she’d finally be able to practice in a gym with air conditioning instead of outside in her aunt’s backyard court. but this time, it felt different. she wasn’t looking forward to anything.

y/n nudged her cousin with her shoulder. “you okay, yeri? you’ve been quiet all afternoon.” yeri sighed softly, her fingers absentmindedly picking at a loose thread on her shorts. “i’ve just been thinking a lot.”

“about what?”

yeri took a moment to think before slowly answering. “about basketball, i guess.” her voice wavered slightly. “i don’t know if i want to play anymore.” y/n’s eyes widened in surprise, but she didn’t immediately say anything. instead, she waited, letting yeri find the words.

“it’s not that i hate it,” yeri continued, her gaze fixed on the cracked asphalt beneath her shoes. “but i’ve never loved the game the way you do. not like how your mom loves it, or how you light up whenever you talk about it.” she paused, swallowing hard. “i just don’t think i need to play anymore.”

y/n frowned, tilting her head to the side in utter confusion. yeri spoke a lot of nonsense before, but this was different. she could tell her cousin was serious about this. “why do you think that?” the younger girl asked gently.

yeri finally met y/n’s eyes, her expression torn but she managed to force a small smile. “when you started playing, i felt like i had to protect you.”

y/n’s frown deepened, her young face etched with concern. she couldn’t quite grasp why her cousin was talking like this. yeri had always been the confident one, the one who looked out for her, guided her, and made sure she never felt alone. the thought that yeri might be struggling with something so serious left her unsettled. “protect me from what?” the younger player asked softly, her voice barely louder than the crickets in the distance.

her cousin took a shaky breath, struggling to put her thoughts into words. “you were so little when you started, y/n. you had all this talent, but you didn’t see the pressure it put on you. and then everyone started comparing you to your mom—hell, they compared me to her too. but for you, it was so much more intense. i felt like i had to shield you from all that, like if i could just be by your side, people wouldn’t be so harsh.”

y/n’s eyes widened as she realized the weight yeri had been carrying all this time. she knew the whispers and the expectations, but she never knew how much they’d affected yeri. “but you don’t have to protect me, yeri. i’m not afraid of what people think.” she replied, moving to lean closer to her older cousin.

“i know you’re not,” yeri said with a small chuckle, though it lacked her usual energy. “you’ve always been fearless, even when everyone’s watching. but me? i guess i’m tired, y/n. i’ve spent so long worrying about what others think of both of us that i lost sight of whether or not i even want to play.”

the younger girl’s gaze softened, understanding dawning in her eyes. yeri had always been her rock, but now it was time for her to be there for her older cousin. “you don’t have to play for me. you don’t have to protect me either. i’m strong enough now, because you helped me get there.”

the older player chuckled once more, shaking her head lightly before turning to look at her cousin right in the eyes. “you’re the number one player in the country and you haven’t even started a collegiate career yet. you’ve always had that drive, that spark. and i’m proud of you, y/n. i’ve always been. but i guess i’m just not sure if basketball is what i want for myself anymore.”

she knew y/n’s heart was going to break, but she forced herself to stay calm. y/n tried to collect her thoughts quickly, but the reality of what was happening was starting to set in.

“but you’re my teammate, yeri. you’ve always been there with me, through all of it. i don’t want to play without you.”

yeri gave a small, sad smile. “you don’t need me, though. you never did. you’re more than good enough to make it on your own.”

“but it’s not the same without you,” the younger kim insisted as she rose from her seated position and turned to fully face her cousin. “it’s not just about basketball. you’ve been my best friend, my partner, the one who’s always had my back. every time i picture playing in college, i picture us together. i don’t care how good i am or how far i go if you’re not there with me.”

“y/n,” yeri whispered as bit her lip, looking torn. the older girl didn’t know what to do anymore, or how to feel. “you’re going to be an olympian one day. you’re made for this. i’m not.”

“you think i want to be an olympian without you?” y/n’s voice cracked slightly as she spoke. “what’s the point of reaching all those goals if i’m doing it alone?”

her older cousin stayed silent for a moment, processing the younger’s words. she knew y/n meant every bit of what she was saying, but the truth was basketball wasn’t in her heart the way it was in y/n’s.

still, one thing was clear—she couldn’t imagine stepping away and not being there to watch her cousin achieve everything she was destined for.

“i want to see you succeed more than anything,” yeri said softly as she pointed a finger up at her cousin. “and i want to be there when you get to where you’re supposed to be because you deserve it. you’ve worked so hard, but i don’t want to keep playing if it’s just out of obligation. it has to mean something more.”

“but it does mean more,” y/n said, her voice growing quieter. “it’s us. we’ve always been a team, yeri. you’ve always pushed me to be better, whether you realize it or not.”

the older girl felt her chest tighten while the weight of her decision hung heavy. she had already told taeyeon at the start of the summer that she might not come back to the court this season, but her aunt told her to take some time to truly think about it.

however, the ashes of yeri’s desire were still burning. she realized it wasn’t about her wanting to play or not, it was about what it all meant to her. basketball, taeyeon, y/n—they weren’t separate reasons but pieces of one whole. it was about family.

she wanted to play not just for herself, but with her family.

“alright,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. “i’ll keep playing. not because i’m in love with basketball, but because i’m in love with seeing you do what you were born to do. i want to see you get there, and i want to be right by your side when you do.”

y/n’s face broke into a relieved smile as she threw her arms around her cousin. “you won’t regret it, yeri. we’re gonna do this together, just like we always have.” yeri hugged her back tightly, hoping that, in some way, continuing this journey together would help her rediscover the joy she once felt.

if nothing else, she knew she’d be there for y/n, every step of the way.

and maybe, just maybe, that would be enough.

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