#though 'i am a lover i am a hater' is already peak

[charmercharm3r]

left field

SCB

Masterlist

5/8 of The Sleepwear Series

wc: 6.5k

Synopsis: So many hints dropped, so little of them picked up.

warnings: smut, explicit sexual content, softdom!changbin, fem!reader, friends to lovers cus he's a cutie, mentions of periods, fingering, piv, marking, mentions of graphoerotica, creampie, pretty tame ngl

“God fucking damn it—“

You had already pulled your pants down and sat on the toilet when you saw the small red splotches of blood on the gusset of your underwear. Typical, your period decides to leak through your tampon while at your best friend’s man cave he calls a home. And your bag with necessities in the living room, out of reach. Changbin would die on the hill that his place is better than yours, but if that were the case then he’d have feminine products under the sink like most people. But he doesn’t, which not only proves your point but leads you to loudly call out for him from behind the closed door.

Heavy footsteps padded down the hallway followed by the door abruptly opening, your legs closing tight and pulling down your shirt to cover any indecent skin, “what the fuck?!”

Changbin looked at you with his eyes wide open and a worried brow, “you’re not dying?”

“I am now! Of embarrassment. Close the door!” He immediately stepped out and pulled it behind him just enough so there was a small sliver still open.

“You yelled my name, I thought you were hurt.”

“So you barge in like a fucking barbarian?”

“Well– yeah!” You could practically hear the gears turning in his head. “If you’re not dying, do you need something?” Changbin’s voice softened and he fiddled with the door knob.

“Can you get my bag for me?” The sheepish nature of your tone made him peak through the crack, “why? What’s in it?”

“Changbin, door!” As you pulled your shirt as far down your body as it’d go, he let himself into the bathroom entirely and stood with his arms folded across his chest.

It wasn’t out of the ordinary for him to lose his sense of personal space. To Changbin, your space was also his space, you would practically breathe the same air because sometimes he forgets that you’re your own person. Changbin doesn’t do it on purpose, though. It’s his way of showing his affection. There’s times where you’d be sat at the end of the couch and he’d plop down straight on top of you. His friends give him hell for it, always pushing him away but he is persistent. Jeongin is especially grateful for your presence, taking Changbin’s attention off of him and redirecting it onto you. Though, his timing isn’t always the best, catching you in the bathroom like this isn’t entirely uncommon.

“Are you being weird in my bathroom?” He narrowed his eyes at you, seemingly unaffected by the fact that you’re still sitting on the toilet.

“You’re the weird one! Why don’t you have pads or tampons? Do you hate women?”

You could see the lightbulb in his brain flicker on as he took a step back and uncrossed his arms, ears tinging red. “I don’t hate women! I love women– I love women a lot. Like a few months ago, there was a woman who got a lot of my love–”

“Ah, ah, ah, I don’t wanna hear it. Just get my bag, woman hater.” You shook your head and mumbled incoherent words until he finally left and returned with your purse.

If you were being honest with yourself, there was more than one reason you didn’t want to picture your best friend with another girl. There was the fact that he was built like an absolute unit and then some, charming and handsome and kind and thoughtful and funny... Also, just the image of him in bed with someone else was a bit horrifying. You knew him so well that thinking about it made your heart sink and cringe at the same time. Were you crushing on your best friend? Yeah, but who wouldn’t? Changbin is hot in the most endearing way– like he knows he’s attractive, just not to what extent. If only he knew… No, that’s unlikely. He’s the most oblivious person you’ve ever met.

As you rummaged through your bag to find something to ease the mess, Changbin still stood in front of you. “What are you waiting for?”

“How do tampons work?” He blurted out and eagerly watched you pull the little plastic tube out of your purse.

“If I tell you, will you leave me alone?” The rapid nodding of his head had you shoving your bag into his arms again and holding up the sealed tampon for a clear view. “Step one, open,” you unwrap it and hold onto the plastic packaging, “step two, insert. Step three push. I’m not showing you my vagina, so can you get out now? My legs are starting to go numb.”

As if his curiosity had been satisfied, Changbin shrugged and left, closing the door behind him while muttering a, “I’m so glad I’m not a girl.”

The next few hours were spent wasting each other’s time, starting a movie and not finishing it because he couldn’t sit still then attempting to toss popcorn in the air at you in hopes you’d catch it in your mouth. You amused him, of course. His laughter was contagious and it’d be a crime not to laugh along with him.

It was close to 9 p.m. when you decided to go home. The walk wasn’t far and you’d done it a million and one times, and every time Changbin offered to walk with you. You couldn’t really protest, especially when he never directly says he was going to walk you home. He’d make an excuse like he’s stopping at the convenience store or doing this and that. 

Upon coming up to your street, you asked him, “are you taking another late night walk that just so happens to be in the direction of my house?”

The two of you were shoulder to shoulder, hands occasionally brushing against one another as cars passed by. “I was going to get my mail but… I can’t remember where my mailbox is. Thought it might’ve been this way but maybe I was wrong.”

This is what always happened. You’ve known him for what feels like forever and every time he stops just in front of your apartment building, your heart breaks just a little more. You wished he’d come in, stay the night, be there when you woke up. He does this thing where he sticks his hands in his hoodie pocket and looks at the ground with a soft smile, he’s doing it now and peers up at you sweetly. Like the ground was suddenly offering to buy him a four course meal and dessert, Changbin dipped his head back down as soon as you met his gaze.

“You don’t need to do this every time. But bonus points for creativity,” you playfully nudged him on the shoulder, grateful for the cloudy night sky shadowing over the blush on your cheeks. 

Obviously, you loved that he did this for you. It makes you feel all kinds of warm and fuzzy inside. A part of you, a rather big part, wished that he’d do it because of a certain emotion, but again… just wishful thinking. Changbin walks you home because he’s a nice person. He makes up reasons to keep talking to you because all his other friends are busy. The only thing that could explain why he calls you all the time for the most random things is because he just blindly presses on his most recent call– that just so happens to be you. Purely coincidental, everything he does is because Changbin is your friend, your best friend. And it’s normal for friends to look at you the way he’s looking at you now, right?

Curtained by his natural curly hair, it was like galaxies had found a home in his eyes. “I want to,” he stuck his hand out to tap adoringly under your chin, “gotta make sure my favorite girl gets home safe.” The action and the words made your skin burn, but somehow shiver at the same time

“Did your mom finally tell you to stop calling her every night?” You brushed his hand away as you spoke, trying to conceal a flattered smile.

“Yeah, but my mom’s always number one. You still rank the highest out of all my girl friends.”

“I’m your only girl friend.”

“All the more reason you’re on top of the list.”

There was that stupid, lopsided smirk of his, annoyingly cute how it didn’t even seem like he was trying to be smooth with his words. Unruly locks sticking in every direction, sweater somehow concealing the muscles you knew him to have, you didn’t even mind that he was wearing slides with no socks, seeing Changbin so domestic made your heart swell even bigger than it already was. If you spent any longer with him, you were sure you wouldn’t be able to keep up such a cunning facade.

Low and behold the universe was listening whether it be beneficial or detrimental, a deep clasp of thunder boomed and not a second later began a heavy downpour of rain. While you didn’t move an inch, just looking up at the crying sky, Changbin wrestled his hoodie off and tossed it over your head like a canopy. You looked at him confused because you were standing in front of your house, if you got wet it was no big deal. Whereas he still had to walk home, but chose to rid himself of the only thing protecting him from the cold to make sure you stayed dry. How close he was now, tying the sleeves below your chin to make sure the jacket didn’t slip off your head. You couldn’t help the fondness in your expression, unable to see anyone but him.

“You’re staying over,” you say, taking his hand before he can protest and whisking him inside.

The both of you were soggy messes in the foyer of your apartment, unsure of what move to make. You thought you’d known what you were doing but now you were trapped with the only person in the world who could make you feel like bursting at the seams.

The same confidence that pushed you to invite Changbin inside was slowly fading, but you had enough left to begin to strip away your articles of clothing one by one, starting with the hoodie tied around your head. You plopped it on the floor and began to take your top off when Changbin dramatically flushed his back against the front door. “What’re you doing?” He asked, covering his eyes as you added your top to the wet pile.

“I don’t want my entire house to be soaked. Strip, I have spare clothes you can try.” Even if he tried to be decent and not look while you undressed, the irony of it had you rolling your eyes. “As if you weren’t in the room when I was on the toilet earlier.”

“Hey, that was different!” Changbin defended himself for a second before realizing the same thing you did, ultimately beginning to discard his wet clothes as well. When you shimmied off your pants and picked up the sopping pile, your best friend was handing you his shirt and looking you dead in the face as he unbuttoned his jeans. You didn’t think he intended for it to come off as electrically charged as it did, but it was like you couldn’t look away. Not that Changbin wanted you to, he loved the way you were staring at him.

Your eyes raked from his broad shoulders down the plane of his chest and tummy, keeping a steady gaze on the way his fingers elegantly unzipped and pushed the pants down his legs. When he handed the garment to you, you felt the searing heat of embarrassment shoot through your body. He stood with his hands on his hips, just in his boxers now.

The pace at which you ran towards the laundry room was laughable, for Changbin at least. He got a kick out of your antics, but he wasn’t sure how much more he could take. Changbin thought he was being as obvious as possible that he cared for you much more than a friend, but the message must’ve gotten lost in translation because not a single thing he put down, you picked up.

Changbin wanted to be embarrassed, walking around your house in just his underwear, but he felt more comfortable than anything. He’d raided your fridge for snacks, drank water, grabbed some alcohol, even sat on the couch because somehow his boxers were the only thing that didn’t get wet. A beer in his hand, feet kicked up on the coffee table then your and his favorite show clicked on in the background was his definition of home. He loved the atmosphere of your apartment, the smell of patchouli, soft yellow lights in the corners of every room, even if it didn’t have his play station or mini music setup that was an easy fix. So easily could he imagine himself waking up here every morning, waking up to you and being able to cook you a small breakfast before he went to work– 

Getting ahead of yourself, he thought.

You changed into some shorts and a shirt and gathered spare clothes before you fully stepped into the living room, you watched Changbin flow about the place. He seemed even more relaxed than he had back at his own house. Quietly you observed from a distance, your heart warming as he poured you a glass of wine and set it on the table for when you returned, unfolded the blanket that hung on the back of the couch and set it where he wanted you to sit– directly next to him, of course, the only acceptable place.

“Get your stinky butt off my couch,” you finally made your presence known and handed him the spare shirt and shorts, nudging his feet off your coffee table to sit beside him.

Changbin didn’t retort, simply following your order and standing. He decided to make you even more flustered than you already were, his junk eye level with your face as he slipped the shorts on. You loved his little tummy, finding it cute how he lightly rubbed it after putting on the shirt and sitting down again. “Thank you,” he mumbled, taking a sip of his beer. You picked up the glass of wine and tipped it towards him, “thank you.”

Silence, patchouli, and a hint of petrichor wafted through the room. When you shivered, Changbin set down his drink to reach both arms around either side of you, draping the earlier placed blanket over your shoulders. His touch lingered on the tops of your hands for a moment before retreating. 

Despite the sweet moment, you couldn’t help but become more curious of what he’d stupidly mentioned earlier. “So…” Changbin’s ears perked up, “going through a dry spell?”

A pink hue covered his cheeks, “what?”

“Before… you said it was a few months ago… the last time you were with someone.” Shyly, Changbin scratched at the nape of his neck and ran his fingers through his hair. He laughed, throat dry, “y– yeah. It’s been a while. Haven’t really had the urge to… y’know… seek anyone out.”

“I think I’m the only other person in the world who knows what you mean. It’s like everyone is dating and fucking and having threesomes, yet I can’t even do my laundry without getting tired–”

“Threesomes–?”

“I don’t want to put in the work to meet someone. It’s like everyone’s idea of dating is so different, and explicitly saying you’re dating to marry is some sort of turn off.”

“Wait– go back. Threesomes?” Changbin shifted to face his body towards you, clearly invested in the idea.

Bringing your glass to your lips, you shrugged, “just some girl at work telling me about these people she met. Said it was insane and mind blowing. Good for her, I just didn’t need to know so many details.” His mouth was dropped, tongue practically hanging out of his mouth. The brief mention of anything relatively sexual coming out of your mouth made Changbin’s mind immediately fall deep into the gutter. He couldn’t stop himself from imagining that there were two of you, each touching different parts of his body and covering him in your lipstick stains–

Jesus, get it together, Changbin shook his head and blankly stared at the television.

“Did you hear the part I said about dating? The more important part?” You waved your hand in front of his face. “Yeah, I heard,” he caught your hand in his and held on. His skin was warm, soft against your own. Both pairs of eyes caught the gentle nature of his grip, disbelief expressions littering your faces at the audacity to hold on for much longer than necessary, longer than he ever had before.

You let out a small breath, unsure of how to feel as he brought your hand down to the side of his thigh and leaving it there. Just your fingers rested on the muscle, feeling him flex under your touch. With a sly grin, Changbin pulled the TV remote from behind him and pointed it towards the screen, “think we can finish the last few episodes? Or will you fall asleep again?”

The rest of the night went by much too quickly, only because you had, indeed, fallen asleep. To be fair, even though you’d only had a bit of wine, it was still enough to make you tired. That on top of the already tiring day you had and Changbin cozying up next to you, how could you not? You’d woken up later the next day in your bed, tucked in with a bottle of water on your bedside table and a note next to it. Fucking gentleman. Changbin had to leave for work but wrote that he’d made some coffee and didn’t want to wake you. He didn’t fail to mention that it was only thirty minutes into the episode that you’d passed out, but the gesture was still cute.

You went about your day as normal as possible, doing chores and whatnot, even texting Changbin a thank you for not watching the show without you, to which he said he did but he’d rewatch it if you promised to stay awake next time. It was so hard not to smile as you read his messages, seeing the chat bubble on his end immediately appearing with every text you sent. So many butterflies, the only way you knew to contain them was to bury yourself in work. That’s what you did for hours, only stopping to take breaks to eat and use the bathroom. An upside of today, your period stopped.

Changbin doesn’t have such a productive day as you, little to his knowledge. He went to work, got into the studio and sat down with his pen and paper and didn’t write a single thing. Not a damn thing. His mind was overly consumed with the thought of you. No way he was ever going to admit to anyone that he spent a good amount of time this morning just watching you sleep. It sounds creepy as he thinks back on it, but he was mesmerized. Knowing the stress you carried on your shoulders and being given the privilege of seeing you so… at peace. Changbin loved every second of it to the point he just swiveled around in circles daydreaming as soon as he stepped foot in the studio. All the members stopped by at one point during the day to say hello and Changbin was sitting in the same position every time, until Jisung had finally took hold of Changbin’s chair and rolled him out into the hallway so the younger could use the room. “Stop marinating in your own self pity. Can’t take looking at your gross, lovesick face anymore.” Jisung had said, slamming the door in Changbin’s face when he went to curse him out. To be fair, it could’ve been the best or worst advice ever. Either way, it finally got Changbin to leave work.

He didn’t know where his feet were carrying him, just that he wanted to lay down and not think anymore. It wasn’t until he was outside your building again that he felt absolutely like going insane. There were so many pent up emotions swirling about inside him and as good as he is with words, this was something he couldn’t articulate. Mixtures of saccharine chaos and patchouli scented whimsicality fills his nose every time he so much as thinks of your name, these specific things so deeply rooted in his association with you. Everywhere he looks, there you are.

As nighttime rolls around, you’re able to comfortably lay in bed without the fear of staining your sheets. That’s exactly what you do, phone in hand and ready to call it a night. You had been laid down for maybe five minutes when loud knocks rapped against your door. Getting up with a groan, you walked out and opened the door, finding a very disgruntled looking Changbin pawing at the roots of his hair. Before you’d gotten the chance to ask why he was here, he pushed past you and kicked his shoes off, pacing back and forth in your living room.

“Don’t speak a single word because there’s something I have to say and if I don’t say it now, I don’t think I ever will. Understand?” Shutting the door, you looked at him and waited for him to continue. “Say something!”

“You told me not to!”

“Say you understand!”

“I understand.”

“You don’t understand!” You moved slowly further into the room, feeling Changbin growing more and more skittish with every step. As you came face to face with him, he put his hands on your shoulders and led you to the couch, sitting you down while he still stood. “You don’t understand how frustrating it is to be around you.” The words made you flinch back, “no, no! I mean, I love being around you. It’s the highlight of my week! But dear fucking god, Y/N. You are the blindest person I know.”

“I don’t–”

“Shut up! Let me finish,” he stayed a few steps in front of you, practically spinning in circles with how quickly he strode in anxiety. Raising your eyebrows, you waited. Changbin took in a deep breath, “You’re so infuriatingly oblivious that it makes me wanna rip my hair out. You can never stay awake long enough to make it to the good part of the show, we’ve been stuck on the same season for the past month! And you never finish your wine! You always fall asleep on me and I never tell you how you drool on my shoulder because I don’t wanna embarrass you. Why don’t you lock the bathroom door?!”

“Should I be defending myself right now?”

“And you can’t follow directions to save your goddamn life! But for fuck’s sake, I hate being away from you.” A small hum of confusion and a head tilt, you genuinely couldn’t think of anything to say. What the fuck was he talking about?

“I spent the entire day with you doing absolutely nothing but watching paint dry and it was one of the best days of my life. Every day with you is the best day of my life even if it’s for just a few minutes. Can’t you see?” Changbin exhaled deeply and came in front of you, dropping to his knees. He took both your hands from your lap and made you cup his full cheeks, staring deep into your eyes. “See me.”

Thousands of thoughts and millions of emotions filled you from head to toe, almost vibrating overwhelmed. You couldn’t believe your current predicament, here was the manliest man you know on his knees in front of you, for you, begging you to do the one thing you’ve been doing for god knows how long.

Involuntarily your lip pouted at the fading adrenaline induced confidence in Changbin’s demeanor, his hands slowly slipping from atop your own that held you in place. Feeling you getting a better grip, his breath hitched in his throat. You held his cheeks so firmly that his lips puckered. “You’re all I’ve ever seen.”

The sheer force of which Changbin sat up to meet your lips would’ve sent you toppling back if you didn’t find yourself falling into him with equal weight. Butterflies, sparks, that feeling, you felt illiterate. It was just right. 

He did nothing but slot against you in a frenzied yet calculated rhythm, finding comfort in the way your lips fit so perfectly against his. Large palms slid from your hands up your arms and back down your torso, only to settle on your hips and tug you closer. Changbin fit himself between your knees and made sure to have you flush against him as he kneaded the pajama covered flesh of your ass. You didn’t expect him to heave you up and carry you towards your bedroom, squealing as you were dropped onto the mattress.

“What am I gonna do with you?” He muttered, kneeling onto the bed while tossing his shirt to the floor. Daunting Changbin was, a new flame behind his eyes that made you cower until your back hit the headrest. “Don’t run away from me. I’ve waited so long already.” He caught your ankles and you were dragged towards him again, belly up at his mercy.

His lips had a hard time parting from yours even as he stripped you naked, all done with a smitten smirk which you could feel within every kiss. A sense of security washed through you as his hands roamed anywhere and everywhere, firmly caressing any plump inch of skin he could find. Changbin took a particular liking in the curve of your hips and ass, loving how delicately supple your skin was. He kneaded it like a cat, moaning into your mouth as you squeezed the muscles of his pecs.

Then his hands traveled down, hiking your knees around his torso and feeling the wetness of your arousal. His thick fingers slid through your pussy so easily, slick echoing lewdly and only adding to the adulterous scene. He didn’t look away from your glistening folds, flat out staring with all intents and purposes and making your face heat up. With a pout on your lips, “stop looking at it like that. You’re making me shy.”

Changbin’s head fell back in a mocking chuckle, “shy? Please, not my fault you have such a pretty pussy.” He kissed you again before you could feel any more flustered.

It was impossible to feel anything of the sort when he whispered sweet nothings every chance he got. Every break of your lips Changbin took the opportunity to mumble something he loved about you that you didn’t even realize about yourself, “always smell so good, sometimes I spray your perfume on my clothes when you’re not looking. Always wanted to pull your hair, maybe that’ll be a little treat for next time. These hips? Oh my god, wanna just eat you whole.” He bit loving marks from your neck down your chest and trailing further until he came to the skin just below your belly button. There was where he left an abundance of bruises, turning varying hues of purples and reds to line the expanse of the area. It was like your own personalized garment, customized by him made just for you. Changbin didn’t leave your hips unattended, decorating the hinge where your thighs met your hips just the same.

Your cunt was throbbing now, so incredibly turned on but growing too impatient for your own good. As much as you appreciated his thoroughness, it was getting harder not to simply cry at the need that made your stomach churn. Threading your fingers through his hair got his attention, making his eyes meet yours from between your legs. Wordlessly you used your other hand and spread the lips of your pussy with two fingers, inviting.

He took a single long, fat lick up the center of your entrance. The warmth made you cry out for more but Changbin pulled away, refocusing his attention on the backs of your thighs and pushing your knees to your chest. Like reading your mind, he replaced his tongue with big fingers, inserting just one as he munched on the flesh of your legs. Thumbing at your clit and one digit inside you was almost torturous, he was teasing you by being so close to what you wanted, just not quite there.

“Bin, please. Your mouth–”

“Nuh uh. Let me play, princess. We’ll have plenty of time for more.” Your cunt clenched at the prospect of more with him. More rendezvous, more kissing, touching, feeling him in ways you’d only imagined.

Not long did it take for him to decorate your thighs as well, painting a pretty picture like you were a canvas. What you didn’t see was that he’d been touching himself this entire time, slowly stroking his heavy cock and leaking more precum every time you whimpered. When his thumb swiped rather hard at your bundle of nerves and you whined, Changbin almost came in his hand. He couldn’t take it anymore, deciding that he’d rather die than let your first time together go to waste in his palm.

Unexpectedly he dove into your pussy and gave it one good hard suck, for a moment he recalculated even fucking you because of how sweet you tasted and knowing he’d blow if he truly went to town, but he loved seeing the splotches on your body. It made his skin tingle and feel almost feral, your unblemished skin covered in marks he created. With your taste on his tongue, he quickly came back up to kiss your lips, swallowing your moans as your own arousal filled your senses. “Wanna see your face when I fuck you,” he groaned, taking your knees and starting to maneuver them to fall to one side.

“Wait, wait,” you pushed his chest back. Changbin looked at you, concerned. “I’m clean–”

“Me too. Got tested right after–”

“I’m not worried about that.”

“Then?” The worry in his eyes slightly overshadowed the lust, but just for a second because you broke out into an abashed smile and covered your face with your hands. “Don’t laugh at me,” you muttered and Changbin stole your hands into his.

“Never at you, only with you,” he giggled, too.

You tapped his chest so he could sit up. When you had the space, you tipped your knees to the side and let your spine relax, pops of your back cracking made the two of you break into an unfiltered, obnoxious fit of laughter. Then you twisted to do the other side, only making both of you laugh harder. Changbin huddled over into your chest, trying his best not to suffocate you with his weight. “I said don’t laugh!”

“I can’t help it!” He moved up to hide his face in your neck. “That was the cutest thing I've ever seen.” He composed himself enough to plant reassuring kisses to the junction and lean back again. Still on your back, he towered over you and reached down to brush your hair from your face. Warmth spread throughout your body as he just looked at you, nothing sexual of the nature whatsoever, admiring.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I think you have a staring problem,” you whispered, gazing at him exactly the way he was at you.

“Only for you,” he pinched your cheek then distracted you with another kiss before continuing to lay your knees to one side of your body.

Taking your hand in his, Changbin aligned his cock with your entrance and pushed in, your nails digging into the top of his hand as he did so. Gently he came to become fully sheathed within your walls, patiently waiting for you to adjust. His free hand ran over the deepening blemishes on the back of your thigh, a proud smirk on his face. Your cunt clenched and he shivered, “more, please.”

He used the hand on your thigh to push your knees harder into the bed and your back popped on last time. When you both laughed, your walls constricted around his dick tightly and stuttered his laughter into a moan, toppling on top of you. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, don’t do that! I’ll cum!” Changbin’s voice still filled with giggles.

Even if the two of you were nowhere near as intense as you should’ve been, the moment was still enjoyable all the same, just in a different way. There was no forced intimacy or awkwardness that came with seeing someone naked for the first time, only comfort and warmth and smiling until your cheeks hurt.

Changbin loved the sight of you stuffed full of him, covered in his marks. That made his brain flip from zero to one hundred, glaring at your pussy and mockingly tilting his head. Oh, he wanted to take a picture of you, pretty in all your glory and creaming around his cock. Every bit of you was on fire, only getting hotter with the sweet praises he was singing for you. “Pussy like heaven, fuck– have I died? So, so good.

“You’re so beautiful like this, wish I could tattoo you with my name. Wouldn’t that be cute, baby? Would you want me to do that? Cover you with pretty words while you cum all over my cock?” Your pussy pulsated at the idea, imagining Changbin writing obscene things all over your body. It’s one thing to him to be saying these things, but having them in writing, his writing, that was something else entirely and it turned you on to no end.

“Oh, you do like that. So dirty, princess. Tell me, what else do you want?” He kept his thrusts slow and deep, working you up much too leisurely that you were on the verge of crying. Changbin could see the tears welling in your eyes, smiling and teasingly tapping the underside of your chin again. “Don’t cry, baby. I’ll give you whatever you want, just tell me.”

Even if it was obvious what you wanted, he was still making you work for it. You reached down to pull your ass cheek up, spreading your pussy lips wider for his viewing pleasure. Changbin groaned, deep from within his chest and his eyes rolled back. “Wanna cum,” you mumbled, fingernails raking over the deep bruises over the backs of your thighs.

“Am I not doing good enough, princess? Need more?” That wasn’t necessarily what you were saying, but it was his way of working himself up even more than he already was. All you did was whine and nod your head, feeling so much at once. “Okay, okay, I’ll give you more.”

His hips picked up speed, skin slapping skin ringing throughout the room. Changbin picked up your top leg and held it in the air to let him fall deeper into you while the other kept a handful of your ass. His fingers dug into you, pulling at the skin to use as leverage to slam harder into your cunt. As you moaned incoherently and arched into the sheets, Changbin leaned over your body and fell into short staccatos of thrusts, keeping your sweet spot from feeling lonely for too long. You weren’t thinking about anything except the building heat in your stomach that only got hotter when you felt his lips attach to your neck, nudging your face to the side for more access. The feeling of his teeth nipping at your sensitive skin made you shiver.

“Better, princess? You’re loving this, aren’t you? Just laying there being pretty and taking everything I give you. Who trained you this well?” You shook your head, no, unable to fully process his words. “No one? I knew you were naturally perfect. Perfect pussy, fits me like a fucking glove.”

You were so close, his words doing you in more and more as he kept running his mouth. Changbin was in the same state as you were except he was unable to stop talking, saying everything he felt as he felt it like a broken record. But you loved it, and loved how easily he could make you melt. The building lava in your gut just needed a little more of a push to flood, you grabbed Changbin by the neck and met his lips while raking your nails through his hair. The way he moaned into your mouth was more than enough ear candy to make your orgasm hit you, hard and for so fucking long.

Changbin tried to fuck you through it, but your cunt had a vice grip as you clenched and convulsed around him, eventually milking him to completion just the same. Of course a guy who hadn’t felt the warmth of another person for so long would have a lot of cum to give, but he was on a whole other level. His orgasm was just as long as yours and filled you to the very, very brim with his seed, spilling out the sides of where his cock kept you plugged. 

Sweaty bodies on top of one another, fluids drenching various places, heavy breaths filling the room, there was no place he’d rather be as Changbin’s head finally cleared. Post nut clarity, you were positively glowing, radiance embodied in his eyes as he watched your eyes flutter open and brush your hair from your face. Changbin peppered your cheeks with kisses, causing you to giggle and hold him closer, but he accidentally moved too fast and made you wince as his softening cock shifted. He told you to hold still as he went as gently as he could to remove himself, awestruck at his cum soiling your pussy. He’d almost raised a mass again, but looked away before he could.

Stealing a random shirt off the floor, he wiped away the residue and tossed it aside again to flop on the bed next to you. His arms wrapped around your neck, muscles almost suffocating you in the warmest way. Legs tangled, heart beats easing, you were close to falling asleep again.

“Do I really drool?” Your voice was muffled by the soft skin of his pecs, slightly nuzzling your face tighter into them.

Changbin froze for a second before lightly chuckling, “no, of course not, princess. I was joking.” Hearing the slight sarcasm in his voice, you whined and attempted to free yourself, though that was impossible with the headlock he had you in. Changbin wrangled you into staying still, kissing the top of your head and tightening his arms, “okay, you do. But it’s okay! I love being covered in your spit.”

He playfully licked your cheek as you tried to protest, kissing you more to ultimately shutting you up and fall victim to his body heat, and Changbin’s head was empty, entirely empty. Nothing left but tender touches, patchouli, and wondering how the hell neither of you realized that this was where you were supposed to be.

-

tags: @sensitiveandhungry @babebatter @aliferousminho @changbinluvr @epiphanynaffit @fawnpeaks @linovely @dumplinbokkieracha @finnydraws @naturules @djeniryuu

[tsdecoded]

Burton to this Taylor

Before I begin, I need to specify that I am first and foremost a video analyst. I don’t really want to go into lyric analysis because I didn’t study anything related to that, but Ready For It just dropped and it kind of ties two music videos and three songs together. So, I’m going to give my analysis of what Taylor Swift is doing with this song! 

Let’s begin shall we? 

I was not a fan of Ready for It. *I need to specify this, because it’s the whole reason I got into the analysis part of this post!* I thought the verses made no sense and even though the chorus is one of my favourite TS choruses ever, I didn’t feel like it fit the song! It all felt out of place. 

BUT I AM A STUBBORN GIRL! And I wasn’t going to give up on Tay Tay that easily, so I started dissecting the song. The verses still don’t really make sense to me, to be honest, but when I got to “Burton to this Taylor”, my interest peaked. Why? Well, because Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton are one of the most iconic couples in Hollywood’s history, but their love was problematic, to say the least! 

Okay, this is where I put on my nerd glasses and take you for a Classic Hollywood history lesson! 

Let’s begin! 

*DISCLAIMER* I am over-simplifying this story… it’s such a complicated and intriguing story, and I am not a biographer! If you want to know more about the couple and this scandalous story, go read Furious Love or any of their biographies. 

Anyways….

In 1954, a 28-year-old Richard Burton sees a 21-year-old Liz Taylor at a pool party and falls in love. She is gorgeous, famous, funny, and is completely ignoring him. In fact, Liz didn’t even talk to him at that party. Burton got hooked and it became a sort of personal challenge to get with her! Nine years later, in 1963, destiny would throw them together again on the set of Cleopatra, which by the way was the most scandalously expensive movie of its time. Burton was cast as Mark Anthony and Taylor was cast as Cleopatra.  Now, this movie was an epic letdown, it was a mediocre biopic at best, but it is still an iconic film because it gave us Liz and Dick! Burton and Taylor fell in love while shooting this film. They were both married to other people, but it didn’t stop them from falling for each other. When the filming was over, they went back to their respective spouses, but they couldn’t stay away from each other and a little less than a year later, they both got divorced. In 1963, they tied the knot and thus began the fantastic story of one of the most turbulent and passionate love affairs of the Golden Age of Hollywood. They were married for 11 years, then they got divorced in 1974, just to get married again in 1975 and then divorced again in 1976. 

Now, we can all agree that neither of them was a particularly stable adult. They were both alcoholics, suicidal at points, and extremely passionate. (It is said that Burton was an alcoholic as a way to drown his homosexuality, but I am not even going to go down that hole, because this analysis would never end!) Between the two of them, they had eleven spouses. Seven for Taylor and four for Burton. 

This is perhaps the most extravagant, turbulent and craziest relationship imaginable! So, why is Taylor Swift so obsessed with it? I hadn’t realised this, but the Liz Taylor-Richard Burton imagery goes back to 1989! In fact, both Wildest Dreams and Blank Space hint to it. 

Let’s start with the obvious one: Wildest Dreams. 

Now, the music video for the song is very obviously a depiction of Liz and Dick’s relationship.  -They’re both actors -They have an on-set romance -They’re in other relationships (at least he is) -They can’t stay away from each other (he runs out of the theatre after she leaves.) 

Taylor even replaced her blonde signature look, for a black wig! Taylor is very clearly creating a parallel between herself and the actress. 

I’ll come back to this video and this song later on, but for now, let’s focus on Blank Space. 

Ahhhhh! Blank Space, my love… 

I already did an analysis of this video, but here is another approach.

I was reading about Liz and Dick, and I came across this great article called “Why We Can’t Help Loving the Love Story of Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton” in it, we get this great paragraph:

From the moment they fell for one another, they would entrance and enrage the invested public, not to mention the paparazzi, nearly as much as they’d be entranced and enraged by the many facets of one another. Fans and haters (before the concept of haters was even invented) were drawn in by their shameless over-the-top romance, its scandalous headlines blaring across the pages of the tabloids, and their irrepressible need to be together, despite it all. Adding further resonance to the saga were the roles Burton and Taylor played in films throughout their relationship, which frequently paralleled their lavish personal lives: full of travel and expensive jewellery and entourages and love-making and joy, but also alcoholism and brutal fights and deep despair, heartbreak, and pain.

As I was reading it, I couldn’t help but think of Blank Space. Tell me that last line doesn’t sound like a very accurate description of Blank Space’s video!! Even the structure of the phrase matches the structure of the music video. It starts magical and perfect and soon we realise there’s a darker side to everything. Now, I’m not saying Taylor read the article and made the video around that line, but if you think about it, it makes a lot of sense that if fits both of them.

This is where I get really interested in this whole deal! There is a clear parallel between the singer and the actress. It’s mostly a parallel between their reputations (lol.. see what I did there?). Both of them have had issues with the media focus on their personal lives rather than their talent. That’s what Blank Space is all about! In a way, Blank Space is a reminder that Taylor is first and foremost an artist, her media persona is something that was created to sell magazines! 

Both Liz and Taylor have had to deal with a very unfair representation of their character. Liz had to go through years of being called every single name in the book. I mean, yeah, she did get married eight times and she did steal other women’s husbands, but that should not be what we remember about her. She was a Hollywood legend! She won two Academy Awards, she portrayed some of the most amazing characters on screen, she was an activist, an entrepreneur, a stage actor, a film megastar… but her reputation tainted her legend. People will never be able to separate her from her “man-eater” image.  Taylor Swift is dealing with a similar situation. She has won eleven Grammys, and almost three-hundred other awards. She has broken countless records, written whole albums by herself, headlined sold-out arena tours, she has donated millions of dollars to different charities, she has lead a career worthy of respect and legend status, but a quick search will show you that all people care about is who her latest boyfriend is. Even worse, just as Liz was in her time, she is hated for her dating history. 

Both women have fallen victim of a sexist system that demonises female sexuality. This tainted reputation problem never really affects the men. I mean, Richard Burton had countless affairs, sometimes with underaged girls (x), but he is not judged or hated for it. He is first of all, and actor, and his legacy is as an actor and then as Elizabeth Taylor’s tempestuous lover. People still watch Woody Allen movies, elected Donald Trump as president, watch Casey Affleck and Joaquin Phoenix movies, listen to Chris Brown’s music… all these men (except for Trump) are regarded as artists, their every mistake excused, but we hate Liz and Taylor because they married/dated a few men? 

Blank Space is basically Taylor’s way of showing the public how ridiculous this image that she has actually is. She reprises this idea in Look What You Made Me Do, but if I go there, I will never get out of there, and this post is already long enough! 

So… WHAT DOES THIS ALL HAVE TO DO WITH READY FOR IT?????? 

Whoa.. chill! I’m about to get there! (I told you I was a nerd….)

Ready For It is the first time Taylor makes the connection between her and Elizabeth explicit. “Burton to my Taylor” - great play on words because it reinforces this connection. Both of them are Taylor. (DEEP)

After reading about their relationship, I was left wondering why Taylor Swift would ever want a relationship like that. She has always said she’s a hopeless romantic, and Liz and Dick’s relationship is more like an addiction than a relationship. Yes, it’s passionate and it’s epic, and it’s what movies are made of, but would anyone really want that? Maybe at first, but after a while you want stability, and loyalty, and companionship, and to feel at home. And that is what Taylor has been writing about all this time. So, why use Burton and Taylor? 

Well, that article I mentioned before has the answer: 

Thirty years later, “Liz and Dick” is part of our shared historical understanding of romance, the ultimate kind of celebrity affair, one that still dwarfs the fleeting, 72-day benders of the Kardashian era. They seduced and destroyed and seduced each another again and again, and the public could not look away, nearly as enthralled by this train-wreck of a beautiful couple as the two were with one another. As icons representing a star-crossed, all-consuming, fantastical kind of love—like Romeo and Juliet, or, better yet, Marc Antony and Cleopatra—they offer the mythology of the absolute, whether it’s good or bad, better or worse. We love them because it was difficult beyond all imagining, but they kept going back. We also love them because it didn’t have to be difficult: They were living lives most of us can only dream of, with yachts and international homes and movie deals and million-dollar diamonds and entire worlds at their feet.

It’s all for the public, it’s all for the tabloids that sell the story. 

Now, there’s another interesting line in RFI: “No one has to know” it’s the last line before the chorus. This line reminded me of “I said no one has to know what we do” from Wildest Dreams. 

So, in the same song, Taylor is singing about the most mediatic and publicised celebrity relationship, and about keeping it a secret. It doesn’t really make sense, unless you see it as a song about both Taylors (and I don’t mean Liz here. I mean both Taylor Swifts). Ready For It is the love-child of Wildest Dreams and Blank Space and that is why the song doesn’t really make much sense at first. We get the media Taylor singing the verses, dripping with sarcasm and reminiscing of Blank Space yore..  and then you have the real Taylor singing the chorus, hopeful, sweet and sexy, reminiscing of Wildest Dreams.

In fact, Taylor has been singing about the secret part of the relationship since she started. The hidden/forbidden relationship is one of her motifs! And I finally figured out why. The real Taylor lives in the secrets, and not on the tabloids. We can judge her all we want about the men she dates (or doesn’t date)… about what she says or doesn’t say, about the clothes she wears… but at the end of the day, Taylor will always kick us in the ass with some amazing lyrics and great storytelling! She’s the only one that knows her own story! 

“There once was a girl known by everyone and no one” 

So, to conclude, I think Ready For It is about both Taylors. The Taylor that feels like Liz, overshadowed by her reputation; and the real Taylor, the one that lives in the secrets, that has real feelings and real desires. 

It might not be my favourite song in her repertoire, but I think Taylor is a masterful lyricist and storyteller and I am very excited about this new era! 

BRING IT ON! 

the end. 

How did I do @taylorswift?