#those 'kevin is a sadistic xyz' comments/theories are getting old

[rhys-ravenfeather]

In Defense Of Kevin McCalister

WARNING: Super long, pointless rant/character analysis about a now 33-year-old movie coming up.

You have been warned.

Also, disclaimer: it has been years at this point since I've seen Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, and I'm like 99% sure that Home Alone 4 is set in the Bizarro Universe, given that all the original characters are played by new actors. So I won't be counting the events from either of those movies for this post, just the first movie. Also, for that reason I'm just going to keep referring to Marv and Harry as the 'Wet Bandits' throughout this whole post, instead of going back and forth between calling them that and the Sticky Bandits.

Anyway! It's December now, and I think at this point everyone and their dog theorizing about how Kevin is a psychopath, or sociopath, or grew up to be Jigsaw (no, really, for those who don't know that IS an actual theory) because of the torture he put the Wet Bandits through is almost as much a holiday tradition as actually watching the movie.

But I finally got to rewatch the movie recently, and I have a few thoughts.

I. The McCallisters

So um, I don't know about you guys, but from what we see of the entire extended McCallister family at the beginning of the movie, they kinda seem like a lowkey toxic bunch:

Okay, maybe 'toxic' is a bit much--to their credit, there are a lot of extra people in that house, they're about to go abroad for a trip, so it's not surprising that everyone would be stressed out and tensions are running high.

But that doesn't make their behavior right.

Early on, we see the family, kids included, pushing their stress and misery onto each other, and especially onto Kevin. Granted, Kevin himself is kind of a brat at the start of the movie, but guess what?

He's still an eight-year-old kid.

He's the youngest, at least in his immediate family, and the whole night he's either ignored by the adults, insulted by his siblings and cousins, no one bothers to help him pack, and he's told he'll have to bunk with his cousin, who is a bed-wetter. That's a LOT for a kid to deal with, and with everything piling up, can you really blame him for snapping over something as simple as a cheese pizza?!?!?

So to sum up: This eight-year-old boy spends the entire night getting dumped on and looked down on by all his older family members, and in the one moment he finally dares to retaliate, it results in a mess that gets all of them even angrier at him, and he's sent to his room angry and upset, and feeling like all of them hate him.

You're really going to tell me that none of you ever had an experience like this with your families as a kid????????

Can you really blame him for wishing his family away after a night like that?!?!?

Also just a quick side note: Someone else pointed out that, well, Kevin thought he made his family disappear. So it's not really surprising that the kid would probably think he's tough enough to take on two grown adults after that.

Now, that all being said, let's talk about:

II. The Wet Bandits

Look, I'm not going to act like I didn't wince watching some of the torture Marv and Harry went through, especially Marv stepping on nails and Christmas ornaments...talk about agony of the feet (don't boo me, that's the actual trope name!)

But there's one teeny, tiny little thing I think most people tend to overlook when talking about these guys, and the hell they went through...

MARV AND HARRY ARE CRIMINALS.

We literally start the movie with Harry pretending to be a cop to get information on the McCallister's home, and their security defenses, so that he can rob the place with Marv later.

And okay, to their credit, it's not like the pair start off trying to hurt Kevin right off the bat.

Doesn't change the fact that they were still planning to rob his home, and very likely WOULD hurt him if/when they found him in the house they were planning to rob.

And yeah yeah, the McCallisters seem to live in a rich neighborhood, and seem very well-off themselves, but you can't tell me that you would see THIS outside your house:

And NOT get scared, especially if you were a small child left at home with no family to help and protect you.

Kevin doesn't go full Jigsaw on them right away--in this scene, after tricking the pair into leaving by turning the lights on, he runs and hides under the bed, like the scared child that he is.

To address another post that I've seen once--'KeViN cOuLd HaVe CaLlEd ThE pOlIcE aNy TiMe!' No. He couldn't have. The phone lines were down.

Also, the police, for most of the movie, seem uncaring at best--when his mother calls the police to get them to check on her son, they all but roll their eyes when talking to this worried, scared mother who wants to make sure her son is safe, and while a police officer DOES come to check on the kid eventually, Kevin is still too scared from seeing the burglars to answer the door. Because, again, he is a confused, scared child.

And again, the very first 'police officer' we see in this movie is revealed to be one of the very criminals trying to rob his house.

And yet, when the kid accidentally steals a toothbrush (because he was scared of his neighbor, who was in the store with him), a cop goes after him.

Oh yeah, and it's not like Kevin goes full torture technician on the Wet Bandits the SECOND time they come around either--just uses a lot of dummies, cut-outs, and strings, as well as Christmas music, to make it seem like the house is full of people.

Then the Wet Bandits find out they've been had.

And it's then, and ONLY THEN, that Kevin turns his house into a Saw trap--remember, these grown men are dangerous criminals who fully intended to rob his place, and again, it's not a stretch of the imagination to think that, even though they didn't want to hurt him originally, they wouldn't have ANY PROBLEM WHATSOEVER doing so when they came to his house again after finding out that he tricked them.

TL;DR: KEVIN WAS A LITERAL CHILD WHO WAS LEFT TO FEND FOR HIMSELF AGAINST TWO BAD PEOPLE WHO WOULD HAVE HURT HIM, OR *WORSE* IF GIVEN THE CHANCE JUST TO GET WHAT THEY WANTED, AND WAS JUST TRYING TO PROTECT HIMSELF.