#this year's Ted Lasso Christmas Special is looking good!

[hubba1892]

[yelena-bellova]

Heartfirst: A Ted Lasso Story - Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven: Christmas for Two

Plot: Away from their families, Jamie and Y/n attempt to do Christmas together.

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: f!reader, language, talk of alcoholism, child abuse/neglect

A/N: A little Christmas in July/Phil Dunster Emmy nomination gift for you all! I have no clue what the timeline on s3 is, but this felt like a good place to put a Christmas chapter. I also did my best to combine English and American Christmas traditions/vernacular, hopefully did okay. Hope you enjoy!! 🎄❤️

—————

The coach’s office was a mess of ribbons and wrapping paper.

Ted gasped as he opened the box sat in his lap, “You are kiddin’ me.”

Stood in a corner of the room, Y/n beamed.

“C’mon now,” Ted pulled out the bottle of American barbecue sauce, “Where’d you find this?”

“Specialty store in Chiswick,” Y/n replied, “I was there seeing if Britain had finally caved and brought over Ben and Jerry’s. Spoiler alert: they have not.”

Ted was grinning ear to ear, “Man, this is special. Thank you, Y/n.”

On their traditional half-day of work on Christmas, the AFC Richmond staff were holding their party. Gifts were exchanged and treats were eaten. One room over, the Greyhounds were having their own celebration.

“Yes, I think you’ve got us all beat for gifts,” Rebecca said from her corner, sniffing one of the tea bags in the collection Y/n had gifted her.

“Not true,” Y/n held up a finger before holding up the spa certificate Rebecca had just handed her. “I just know the power of American barbecue.”

“And yet,” Beard held out his hands in expectation, “None for me.”

Y/n rolled her eyes, knowing how happy he actually was with the philosophy book she’d found him.

“So,” Ted drummed his hands on his desk, “What’s everybody’s plans for today?”

“The Higgins’ door will be open and ready to receive any and all weary travelers,” Higgins volunteered, “I believe most of the boys are coming.”

“I’ve got dinner with Nora and Sassy,” Rebecca said.

“Fun,” Ted said, looking over across the room, “What about you, Roy?”

“Phoebe’s got a pageant at school,” the coach replied, “Fuck knows why it wasn’t last night.”

“Nice,” Ted smiled, “Y/n?”

Y/n exhaled, “Well, my sister couldn’t come over this year, so it’ll just be dinner with a friend.”

“What about your folks?” Ted asked.

“Yeah, uh,” Y/n tried to put on a smile, “They couldn’t make it either.”

“Too bad,” Higgins empathized, “Well, if you and your friend don’t feel like cooking, there’s always room at our table.”

Y/n nodded, “Thanks.”

Things lasted another half hour or so before people began to trickle out, off to their respective plans. Y/n stayed behind, having volunteered to clean up since everyone else’s day was time sensitive. She was just tying the trash bag of wrapping paper when there was a knock.

Jamie hung on the frame that separated the coach’s offices, “Ready to go?”

“Yeah,” Y/n set the bag in the corner of Roy’s office, “That’ll be Monday’s problem.”

Grabbing her bag of gifts and switching off the lights, Y/n glided past Jamie, who followed behind. They ducked out into the hall, some of the last people in the building.

Christmas was an off holiday for both of them. With the match against Crystal Palace that weekend, Jamie couldn’t get away to Manchester to visit his mom. And Y/n hadn’t lied when she said her sister couldn’t travel to spend the day with her, but she had lied about her parents. They had every opportunity to phone and ask her to come home, or to visit. They just chose not to.

So, with nowhere else to go, Jamie and Y/n had decided to spend the holiday together.

“Are there even any markets open on Christmas Day?” Y/n asked once they were in the parking lot.

“Yeah, I think there’s one near here,” Jamie unlocked his car door. They’d carpooled in the interest of the shopping they had planned after the party.

“I hope you thought right,” Y/n said as she climbed in the passenger seat, “Or else it’s going to be a pretty funky dinner.”

Jamie had, indeed, guessed right. There was one market open for half a day in Richmond for the cooks who’d forgotten that one ingredient. Y/n and Jamie, however, were starting completely from scratch.

“Okay,” Jamie tugged on one of the shopping trolleys and swung it around, “What do we need?”

“Everything,” Y/n stated, “You ever cooked a Christmas dinner?”

“Uh, no,” he replied, “You? We’re fucked if you say no.”

Y/n scanned the rows of aisles, unsure of where to start. “No, I have. It’s just been a while. Like, not-since-America while.”

Jamie puffed out his cheeks, “Right.”

“Okay,” Y/n clapped her hands together, “Turkey. Main attraction. Let’s start there.”

Down the aisle where the entrees should have been, there was an empty case. A few lonesome birds were still chilling, but it was clear all the good ones had been chosen long ago.

“So we’ve either got a fuckin’ Goliath,” Jamie held up a massive turkey in one arm, then the smallest in his other, “Or its baby.”

Y/n crinkled her nose at the colorful description. “I mean, that one’s meant for way more than two people,” she pointed to the first option, “It’s not like we need leftovers.“

Jamie nodded, that was true. Roy had allowed him one cheat day for the holidays, the free pass ended at 12AM, December 26th. But be was determined to enjoy the one meal.

“So the baby?” Jamie held up the small bird.

“If you stop calling it that,” Y/n grabbed the cart, “Yes.”

Jamie laughed cheekily, setting the turkey in the basket. “Right, what else?”

“Stuffing, potatoes, something for dessert,” Y/n listed items off her mental menu. She glanced over at Jamie, “Really hope we can cook.”

They went around the rest of the store, picking leftovers off the barren shelves. Unfortunately, that left either the specialty items or the nearly expired dishes, which was how they ended up with the most expensive potatoes, gluten free stuffing mix and a pudding that was on its sell-by date.

“Who was your secret Santa?” Y/n asked as they passed the wine aisle.

“Dani,” Jamie answered, “Why?”

Y/n stopped and backtracked her steps, reaching for the first bottle of red wine she saw. She’d stopped by the locker room on occasions where the Greyhounds won and had caught a whiff of the strong Mexican liquor Dani favored. A world didn’t exist where she felt like subjecting her stomach to that.

“Smart,” Jamie agreed as she popped the drink in the trolley.

They managed to get in and out quick enough that the only person who recognized Jamie was the cashier, who didn’t do more than wish him luck on the upcoming match. Y/n wasn’t used to worrying about being photographed, but she knew that any time she stepped out with Jamie, there was a chance of it.

As they loaded the bags into the boot of Jamie’s car, Y/n caught one lone present, wrapped and tied with a ribbon, pushed to the side.

“Did you forget someone today?”

“Huh?” Jamie hummed. Y/n pointed to the box. “Ah, no,” he shut the boot before she could get a better look and smirked, “That’s for later.”

Y/n pursed her lips a little, smiling as Jamie walked the cart back to its station.

“Alright,” he said as they got back in the car, “We doin’ this at my place or yours?”

Y/n thought for a second, “Do you even know how to use your kitchen?”

“Course I do,” Jamie paused a second, “I mean…pretty sure.”

“Uh-huh,” Y/n chuckled, “My place it is. That, or we ask Sam for the keys to the restaurant.”

Jamie backed the car out of its spot, “Think we need to have a bit more confidence for that.”

Y/n agreed silently, before her thoughts fell to the inevitable. A few weeks prior, during the whole Twitter fiasco, Sam’s restaurant had been broken into and destroyed. The night of the Arsenal match, the boys had all gone over to repair it, surprising Sam. Y/n had yet to see it in its restored glory.

“I feel like we got a pretty good handle, though,” Jamie interrupted her thoughts, “We got the meal, the crackers, place’ll be all decorated…”

Hoping his eyes were more focused on the road then her, Y/n grimaced.

“Yeah,” she said, “That’s, uh…”

“What?” Jamie asked.

“I’m not…totally decorated,” Y/n struggled to get out.

“You’ve got a tree at least, yeah?” Jamie replied.

Silence.

Fate bestowed him a red light, and Jamie turned to Y/n with widened eyes. “You haven’t got a tree? The fuck’s wrong with you?”

“I’ve been busy,” Y/n defended the decision, “I’ve barely been home between the away games and working late. There wasn’t much of a point in getting one.”

Jamie let his hand smack against the steering wheel, “Unbelievable.”

“Wha- you don’t have one either,” Y/n argued. There’d been a stunning lack of Christmas cheer in Jamie’s house the last week when he’d been appointed to host the monthly team dinner.

“That’s different,” Jamie put his foot to the gas as the car behind him honked.

“How?” Y/n laughed.

Jamie shrugged, “I dunno. You’re you. Figured you’d be one of those people who’s decoratin’ the day after Halloween.”

In another life, that was her. Y/n had been all over Christmas in her younger years. Every holiday was a speed bump in getting to December 24th and 25th. But once she’d graduated and started her corporate life, it became less and less of a big deal. If it was a year Caylee came to visit, she’d dust off decorations and make a show of it, but it just seemed sad to do it all on her own.

“Well, I’m sorry to disappoint,” Y/n smiled, ignoring the particular bit of backstory she didn’t feel like sharing.

“You’re not,” Jamie replied as he signaled to get into the next lane, “‘Cause we’re fixin’ this.”

Y/n looked out the window, the turn that would’ve been theirs was drifting further and further away. “Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.”

Ten minutes later, Jamie was pulling the car into a Christmas tree lot. Or rather, what once was a Christmas tree lot.

“Can’t believe these places are even open today,” Y/n commented as they walked up to the shop.

“They’re here for the sad sacks who wait till the last minute,” Jamie remarked smugly, nudging Y/n’s elbow with his.

Like the market, the lot was sparse. The only trees left were either the type that shed its needles if you breathed on it or the ones that were already turning brown.

“I’m not overwhelmed by our options,” Y/n said, scanning the rows over again.

“Hang on,” Jamie climbed behind one of the half-dead ones, having spotted a flash of green as he’d passed. He pulled out a miniature one that barely went up to his waist.

“It truly is a Charlie Brown Christmas,” Y/n remarked, smiling at the juxtaposition between Jamie’s size and the tree.

“I mean, it is going in the bin tomorrow, innit?” Jamie picked up the glorified shrub and brought it to the poor worker stuck there on Christmas Day. “We’ll take this one.”

“And we’ll just stick it in the car,” Y/n added, catching Jamie’s confusion and whispering, “We are not making him go to the trouble of tying a houseplant to the roof.”

As Y/n handed the worker a few bills, Jamie spotted a small stack of ornaments and stands for sale as well. He grabbed one of each and pulled a few pounds out his wallet, adding to the total.

“Thank you,” Y/n said to the man, “Merry Christmas.”

Jamie looked proud as they walked back to the car, “Now it’s Christmas.”

Y/n couldn’t argue with him.

—————————

Once they got back to Y/n’s place, Jamie took over unpacking the groceries, while Y/n dug through the hall closet to find some lights for the tree.

“Oi,” Jamie called down the hallway, holding the box of stuffing, “We can still cook this normal, yeah? We don’t have to do anything different.”

“I would think,” Y/n yelled back, waist deep in old boxes, “It’s just bread.”

Jamie went back to the kitchen, he remembered his way around from when they’d unpacked it months ago. The only thing that had changed was the light fixture.

“That’s new,” he said, hearing Y/n’s footsteps approaching.

“Oh, yeah,” she replied, setting an old strand of multicolored lights on the counter, “Ted helped me install it last week. Couple shocks…mostly Ted, but we got it up.”

Jamie chuckled.

“Okay,” Y/n looked to the pile of food beside the stove, “I’ll do the turkey, you start on sides?”

Giving a little salute, Jamie went about grabbing bowls and spoons. Y/n pre-heated the oven and took the turkey out of its wrapping.

“Ugh,” she groaned, peeking inside the bird, “I forgot how disgusting this part is.”

Jamie glanced over and scoffed, “Nope.”

Y/n shut her eyes as she reached in and pulled out the giblets, nearly gagging as she did.

“Carry on with that,” Jamie teased, making a show of pouring in the very dry stuffing mix, “I’ll stay doing this.”

Annoyed, and slightly jealous, Y/n cupped the unmentionable parts of the turkey in her hands and approached Jamie.

“Hey, hey, hey,” he held up a wooden spoon as if it were a shield, “Get away. There’s probably, like, four different bird diseases in there.”

“Yep,” Y/n continued walking towards him, “Don’t get smug in my kitchen, or you’ll be benched with three of them.”

Jamie held up his hands in defeat, “Truce.”

The two of them snorted and snickered before carrying on with their tasks.

It all flowed rather well. Even though they were lacking in skill, Y/n and Jamie felt good about how well everything seemed to be going. In between mixing and flipping, they managed to get the tree in its stand and start decorating. As Jamie was finishing with the ornaments, Y/n popped over to check the turkey, surprised by what she found.

“Shit,” she exclaimed, reaching for the oven mitts.

“What?” Jamie called.

Hurriedly, she opened the oven door and pulled the bird out. The outer layer was far beyond well done, looking tough and chewy.

Jamie entered then, puzzled, but chuckling. “Thought you said you knew how to cook a dinner.”

“I do,” Y/n replied, her voice jumping an octave, “With a much bigger bird. This is a pigeon!”

Jamie was full on laughing by then, covering his mouth.

“Oh, yeah, Padma Lakshmi,” Y/n retorted with a smirk, “Smell that?”

The air was thick with the scent of something burning, and it wasn’t the meat. Jamie pushed past Y/n to get to the stuffing and potatoes he’d put on. Determining the stuffing was the cause of the scent, he switched the burner off and attempted to scoop it out of the pot.

What came out was one giant clump, burnt to a crisp on the bottom and around the edges.

Y/n snorted as she set the turkey on the counter, hand on her hip as she watched Jamie work up a reply. When he came up with nothing, holding the burnt blob on an oversized fork, the two of them fell into a fit of laughter.

In the spirit of Christmas magic, they were able to salvage the dinner. They scooped out the good stuffing, trimmed the chewy parts of the turkey off, and agreed the potatoes were the only dish that looked semi-normal.

After, with their paper crowns on their heads, Jamie and Y/n sat on opposite ends of the couch, still amused at their efforts.

“I think we did pretty good,” Jamie gestured to his chest.

Y/n made a doubtful noise, “We’re a ways away from opening our own Ola’s.”

“We’re keeping takeaways in business,” Jamie replied, “Think about it that way.”

“Oh, that we are,” Y/n smiled, taking a sip of wine, “That we are. And hey, you got to eat.”

Jamie slapped a hand over his sated stomach, “Don’t know if my body’s knows what to do with it.”

Y/n laughed before Jamie smacked his hands together. “Right, time for gifts.”

Y/n stayed in her spot, “That’s assuming I got you anything.”

Jamie looked back from the front door, shooting her a quirked eyebrow. Y/n smiled and got up, like there was a chance in hell she’d have neglected to get him something.

They each went to retrieve the gifts, meeting back on the couch. Jamie was holding the mystery box he’d had stashed in his trunk.

“You first,” he said as they swapped packages.

Y/n unwrapped the square, nearly holding her breath as she took off the box’s lid. Peeling back the tissue paper revealed-

“Oh, good Lord.”

Jamie was somewhere between a grin and a smirk. Whatever it was, he wore it proudly.

Y/n held up the #9 ‘Tartt’ jersey and smirked at Jamie. “Really?”

“You’re gonna work at a football club, you gotta have a kit,” Jamie shrugged.

“And it had to be #9, huh?” Y/n quirked an eyebrow, “Couldn’t have been Colin or Sam’s?”

Jamie scoffed, “They ain’t your favorite.”

Y/n let out a single laugh, “What makes you think you are?”

“Don’t see either of them sittin’ here on Christmas with ya,” Jamie replied, “In a flat they found for ya, eatin’ a dinner they cooked with ya.”

It was hard not to laugh at Jamie’s cockiness. Behind the raging over-confidence, there was something sweet behind the gesture that Y/n could appreciate.

“Well,” Y/n set the jersey back in the box, “I’m not wearing it to matches.”

“Oh, why not?” Jamie asked unseriously.

“Because I’m there for all of you,” Y/n smirked, “And if I’m wearing anyone’s shirt, it’ll be Roy’s.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Jamie moaned. Roy and Y/n had bonded on the mornings she joined them for training. The two of them took such joy in torturing Jamie.

Y/n set the Tartt box to the side and handed Jamie his gift. He went about unwrapping it, a little speechless when he removed the last of the paper.

“This from last week’s match?” He asked.

“Mm-hm,” Y/n hummed, hugging her legs to her chest.

In a thick silver frame was a picture of the Greyhounds on the pitch at Nelson Road. Sam, Jamie and Isaac were the most prominently featured. Sam had just scored a goal and a heap of the players were celebrating. It was a perfect representation of the brotherhood they carried with them on and off the field.

“One of the photographers snapped it and I asked him to send it to me,” Y/n explained, “I noticed you didn’t have any pictures up at your place, thought this could be the first one.”

Jamie’s home decor was less than personal. His first few years in the Premier League hadn’t come with many close relationships, his own fault. Most of his family pictures were tainted with memories of something that had happened the days they were taken involving his dad. That didn’t leave him many options.

But this, Jamie thought as he weighed the frame in his hand, this was special. Not only was it his team, his mates, his place in the world, but Y/n had seen the value of it all.

Jamie looked up at her, the corners of his lips tugging upwards, “I love it.”

Y/n grinned, shopping for everyone had been stressful. It had been a long time since she’d had to choose personal gifts, and there’d been a part of her that wanted to throw away the whole gesture. But she’d pushed past her instincts, choosing to give into sentiment. One look at how touched Jamie and the others had been told her it had been worth it.

“Well,” Jamie set the frame on the coffee table, next to his kit, “We can call this a win, yeah?”

“For sure,” Y/n said, reaching out to clink her wine glass against Jamie’s, “Best makeshift Christmas ever.”

“Yeah,” Jamie cackled.

“Best Christmas you’ve ever had?” Y/n asked, “Go.”

Jamie blew out a breath, thinking back. The last few holidays had been spent either in Manchester with his mum or on his own. Two years before, when he was back at Man City, he’d ended up with his dad for part of the day, which left him miserable. If he was being honest, the last Christmas Jamie had truly enjoyed was the one he was currently celebrating.

“Eh, probably when I were a kid,” he answered, “Forget how old I was, but it was the first year I remember being really into football. Me mum got me my first kit.”

Y/n looked over her wineglass, “Was it Roy’s?”

Jamie sighed, glaring softly at her, “Not the point.”

Y/n chortled.

“It was one year me dad was too drunk to remember what day it were,” Jamie went on, his eyes falling on the wall as the memories hit, “Spent the whole day worried he was gonna show up, but…never did. By dinner, I think even mum knew he weren’t coming ‘round, and everything just sorta…relaxed, y’know? Didn’t feel like Christmas till then.”

Jamie’s blue eyes melted into some sort of sad resignation. It was a piece of his history that still hurt, but enough time had passed to see the silver lining, if there was one to be found. He wouldn’t have told the story to anyone else, but this was Y/n. She understood.

Y/n smiled softly, feeling the melancholia. “And you went to bed wearing your little Roy Kent jersey?”

Jamie’s smile came back, thankful for the change in tone. “Fuck you,” he replied, downing the last of his wine, “Right, what’s yours?”

Y/n sighed, like Jamie, there weren’t many to pick from. “Probably when I was eleven. My parents were hosting some party and they pawned me and my sister off on our grandparents. I think they could see that they had zero interest in being with us or giving us a good Christmas, so they went overboard. My grandma got me and Caylee in the kitchen cooking with her,” Y/n glanced at the kitchen where the remnants of dinner sat, “Clearly none of the skills stuck with me. My grandpa had all the movies playing, he tried to keep us laughing as much as he could.”

Taking a breath, Y/n continued, “I remember Caylee and I wrote this Christmas play before dinner. There was a lot of dancing and a lot of off-key singing,” she laughed, Jamie snorted, “But…damn it if our grandparents weren’t up on their feet clapping as if we’d just done Hamlet.”

Though shitty parents came as no surprise to Jamie, he was still a bit shocked. His voice was soft as he asked, “They really just left you?”

Y/n nodded, hugging herself, “Most years.”

The two of them sat in silence, their mutual history sitting in the gap between their bodies. The holidays amplified the best in the world, goodwill and generosity, but for those already hurting, the ever-present loneliness only intensified.

“Don’t know why people have kids if they don’t want ‘em,” Jamie mused, his eyes flitting to Y/n.

She shrugged, her hand curled against her lips. “I’ve been asking myself that since I was old enough to. Haven’t found an answer yet.”

In the moment their eyes met, Y/n and Jamie were struck by just how similar they really were. They’d known it already, it was one of the reasons they got along so well, but it felt like there was a different reality to it. Another layer peeled back, another piece of themselves they were entrusting to the other. And, above all other things, it was safe.

Y/n sniffled, wiping a stray tear away, “This is getting depressing. It’s Christmas.”

“Yeah,” Jamie cleared his throat.

Climbing off the sofa, Y/n went over to the kitchen bar and grabbed her Bluetooth speaker. She connected her phone and pulled up her Christmas playlist.

Jamie watched from his spot on the couch as she slid over to him, hand extended. “What are we doing?”

“We’re going to dance,” Y/n replied, “And we’re going to celebrate the fact that it’s Christmas and we’re somewhere better than we’ve been.”

If it were another day, Jamie wouldn’t have hesitated to make some joke of what Y/n had said. How of course it was better, because he was there. But all he really wanted to do, and what he did do, was take her hand, anchor them together and dance to whatever overly cheery song was playing.

All over Richmond, the uplifting mood was hitting its peak. Ted was on the phone with Henry, sharing his dinner and his son’s lunch, talking about what Santa had brought. Rebecca was giggling with Nora and Sassy at a five star restaurant. Keeley was seated at a full family table at her mother’s. Roy was with his sister, applauding Phoebe as her and her classmates took their bows. Beard was helping Leslie carve a massive turkey as Sam, Dani, Jan, and the rest of the Greyhounds sat around foldout tables. Y/n and Jamie were giggling uncontrollably as he picked her up and spun her around, the sounds of Nat King Cole filling the flat.

For all of them, it was Christmas to remember.

—————

Heartfirst Taglist: @lalla-04p @optimisticsandwichgladiator @makingmunson94 @taytaylala12 @storysimp @sokkigarden @lightninginab0ttle @poohkie90 @alipap3 @verra-nerevarine @shineforever19 @spaceagechimera @burnafter-reading @qardasngan @cyberpvnk-enthusiast @sogoodtoheritsvicious @buckybarnex @angelsunflxwer @blueanfield @thewildestwonderland @sablecities @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo @strawberryacethingz @mentalistfan @tortilla-maria1 @katdahlali @for-fuck-sake-im-alive @glitterquadricorn @jamieolivia27 @imvibin69 @katlizada @lil-tracys @fanaticalfantasist @heyitz-julia @cactajuice @peachyy-tea @notalxx @rockchickrebel @anxiety-prime-max @loveforaugust @jellycolors @actuallybarb @heletsmelovehim @lovinnscarletknight @imfalling-inlove @leslieiscrying @meg-ro @littlemisssunshine192 @beboldbebravethings @maydayfigment @spencerreidsbookclub @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @lemoonandlestars

[tinknevertalks]

Omfg, I'm on a computer and can copy things easily! Let's do this!! XD

@chartreuseian tagged me in this game and I'm finally able to do it. :)

1. How many fics do you have on AO3?

241. Send help?

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

295,404 words. I write many drabbles.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Sanctuary mostly, although I do wander over to rogue simulant country Stargate SG1.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Ghost of the Machine - 160 - Stargate SG1

Brothers - 157 - Lucifer

Acceptance - 89 - Stargate SG1

A Missed Birthday (But We'll Always Have Cake) - 85 - Stargate SG1

Beer Basted Omelettes - 84 - Stargate SG1

And yet I mostly write Sanctuary fic? Shows popularity of fandom and ship counts a lot. (Lucifer was still fairly popular when I wrote that, and we all know how the Sam/Jack shippers are. XD)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yaaaaas! I love it! Except for 19 edits. It's a big part of the fannish community - how else are we all meant to squee together?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uhm... *Thinks in 241 fics* Maybe Fed is Best? It's certainly not a happy ending, anyways.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of them, really? Words Don't Come Easily and Of Sequins and Scalpels are proper happy ever after ends.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I don't get hate. I have had someone ranting about my choices but I just blocked that convo after saying, "Thank you. I don't agree. Have a good day." I do this for fun, I haven't time for negative vibes.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yus. What kind? Kinda romantic, but also featuring many different walls (if I have a vampire who can hold someone up no problem I am going to use that to my advantage, lol!).

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I've done a few crossovers, and a few fusions. Craziest crossover? It isn't that crazy (yet) but Sanctuary/Ted Lasso. Fusion? Sanctuary/Pokémon. I love the idea of Helen as a Pokémon trainer. Oh, but Helen as The Arrow from DC has a special place too.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone wanted to translate one of my smutty fics to Russian but I never heard anything from them again, so I assume nothing.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yes! With samsg1 when she came over to visit a few years back. We started planning it in my living room as our kids played Mario Kart then wrote it over GDocs together. Die Hard Isn't a Christmas Movie. It was fun, but brought up some residual feelings I had at school that I thought I had got through. Didn't tell her, because I didn't want to bring her down (because she is *so* so cool and I adore her). We do wanna write together again but we're both super busy (and I'm more a Sanctuary girlie at heart).

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Helen/Nikola. They bring me joy.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Comedic timing? I'm not sure tbh. Oh! I can write a bonzer last line. You need a great last line when you write drabbles.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Length. I cannot write long fic on the regular to save my life. Like, I know I got OSaS done, and I'm slowly getting to the denouement of In The Nice Part of Town (very slowly), but it's haaaaaard. I want the flash bang dopamine fix posting oneshots give me.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

If it's a language I know well (aka Cymraeg) then I'm filling that dialogue up. If it's a language I have a tiny bit of passing knowledge on, or I can ask someone, "Omg, how do I say [xyz] in [language]?", I'll use a bit of it. If it's a language I know not, and I don't want to go looking stuff up, I don't use it. XD If someone else wants to do it, more power to them. :)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Voyager? Yeah, pretty sure it was Voyager.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

This is called cruelty. Today? Waves - Teslen, AU, everybody's human (kinda). It's rushed in places but I love that universe.

Tagging (if they wanna play): @drewsaturday, @cookie-sheet-toboggan, @ladyelysandra, @electricrogue, @zebsfloppyears and anyone else who wants to join in. XD

[nocompromise-noregrets]

five good things

because I'm utterly exhausted after two bad nights' sleep and not getting the most out of my time off work, so let's remind myself of the good stuff...

I'm off work for two weeks, hooray! The plan is to study, write a lot for Barduil Month, write an assignment (project plan for end of module assessment comparing extracts from the script for FotR and the book), do some housework and generally chill out; so far I've only managed the chilling out bit (I spent 11.5 hours in bed on Sunday night and slept for 4.5 of those hours; it took me six hours to fall asleep >.< no apparent reason at all, and then last night I slept longer but kept waking up aargh). But hey, I didn't have to go to work!

I've written something for day 30 of Barduil Month and am currently working on day 28 :D Super excited for this event and super excited about the ideas I'm having! (check it out at @bi-widower-dads if you haven't already!)

I had a lovely birthday yesterday despite the exhaustion (special thank yous to @spiced-wine-fic for the card and book, I'm really looking forward to getting stuck into that!, and to @scary-grace for the fic omg!); we finished watching Endeavour in the evening (very entertained that the villain of the week seemed to be a massive dig at Laurence Fox XDDDD ), I have the very nice Franziskaner Royal in the beer machine and the missus got me some new bike gear because I was due a new helmet and my jeans and jacket don't fit properly since I spent two years sitting on my backside eating food, so I have some awesome new stuff. The brother and sisterinlaw sent me a stained glass/glass-painting kit, and despite my utter lack of artistic talent I think I might be able to do something with it (they like to use their imagination when selecting presents, which tends to be a bit hit-and-miss, but this might just be a hit); and my lovely German friends sent me the Känguru-Comics book of cartoons and also sent on the t-shirt that was supposed to be a Christmas present from the missus only the seller sent the wrong size so we had to get them to send the right one, and the complication of no longer being in the EU meant we had to send it to the girls and get them to send on because the seller no longer ships to the UK, sigh. Anyway, it's an awesome bike-gang-style design for the Riders of Rohan and I adore it.

I've been watching Expert Witness which is a daytime BBC show about forensic experts solving criminal cases, and finding it really interesting; there's a forensic linguist whose work has been a case study on my course and he's appeared twice on it, for starters. Plus I am morbidly interested in this sort of thing anyway; and the daytime BBC One shows always entertain me because the common thread is always 'there are bad people out there but you mustn't worry because they always get caught' (yes, it's an oversimplification, but trust me, it's always there in the narration) - catering for the anxious daytime audience, whether it's consumer affairs, wrong'uns caught on camera, traffic police catching people who drive like wankers, forensic experts catching wrong'uns...always couched in very reassuring terms XD

I'm planning a Hobbit/LotR rewatch although so far I've been too knackered for it, and tomorrow Ted Lasso is back! :D :D :D I need to catch up with Daisy Jones and the Six too, although...I dunno...it's all right, but the casting is super weird; Billy looks the right age in the 20-years-later documentary sequences but too old in the 1970s scenes, whereas everyone else looks the right age in the '70s and too young in the 20-years-later bits, and it's really throwing me out of it, especially Graham and Eddie. But it's enjoyable enough, and the songs are great, so... *shrugs*

We had a good afternoon/evening out on Saturday - went up to the outlet centre at the docks, got some excellent new makeup (I barely wear any, not having the opportunity for clubs or gigs much any more, but I've taken to wearing some to go to the pub every Friday because why the hell not, so I fancied some new stuff, including some more metallic eyeshadow and a fantastic metallic purple lipstain :D ), went to the Brewhouse, which was full of rugby lads and wasn't doing their usual seasonal witbier, so we went to a different pub for an hour or so and then went to our dinner reservation at the semi-fancy French bistro where lovely Tom from t'pub now works, and got to see him and have a chat and have some lovely food and free kir royales for signing up for the newsletter, and cocktails at the end of the night that didn't show up on the bill, which I suspect lovely Tom had something to do with, and generally had a great time. That's our going-out-out quota fulfilled for the year XDDDD

Think that's it for now. Back to day 28 of Barduil Month, it's getting angsty!

[sweatersinthesummer]

20 questions

Thanks for tagging me, @doggernaut! This is fun.

How many works do you have on AO3?

70

2. What's your total AO3 words count?

118,972

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The last thing I wrote was a Drarry fic, but that was a Schitt's Creek AU, and before that, I wrote for Check Please, Ted Lasso, and Schitt's Creek. I hesitate to say I currently write for anything, though I'd love to write something again one day, if the muse strikes.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I'm going to count podfics here, but I'm not going to count multivoice ones.

1. [Podfic] Cassiopeia Lily Malfoy by GallaPlacidia (Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling) 2. [Podfic] Ship of Theseus by GallaPlacidia (Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling) 3. [Podfic] GOODNIGHT FROM YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND by GallaPlacidia (Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling) 4. [Podfic] The Full Monty (Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling) 5. All your compliments and your cutting remarks are captured here in my quotation marks (Schitt's Creek)

so only one of my top five is a fic, the others are Drarry pods. (It's a very active fandom, so that makes sense.)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always. Sometimes it takes a little bit, but I respond to every single one. I am so appreciative of them.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I mean, none of them have an angsty ending, and even though I adore reading angst, I am not very adept at writing it. I have exactly two fics (not pods) tagged with angst. Maybe As long as you love me so has the most angst? The other one is my Bridget Jones Diary AU, so any angst is really thanks to Helen Fielding, not me.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I have no idea! My fics tend to have kind of fuzzy "and they lived happily ever after" endings but probably the most specifically happy ones are Do I have to spell it out for you? and As long as you love me so.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No, thank goodness. I have a very thin skin.

9. Do you write smut. If so what kind?

I do not.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I've done a lot of AUs of other things (like Drarry/Schitt's Creek, Schitt's Creek/Bridget Jones' Diary, Schitt's Creek/Never Been Kissed) but I guess the only true crossovers are my Schitt's Creek/Ted Lasso fics.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

It's not officially cowritten, but The Haus Official Ship Names was definitely a collaborative effort.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I mean. David and Patrick got me into fandom. But Jack and Bitty stole me away from them, and there was the Ted/Trent pairing, and now Drarry has most of my attention. YOU CAN'T MAKE ME PICK.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Hmmm. I don't have a lot of WIPs, but the one I've written the most for is a Christmas shop one for Schitt's Creek. Maybe I'll finish it finally for Frozen Over this year!

16. What are your writing strengths?

Uhhhhh, I don't know. Dialogue?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm not great at world building. I always feel like I skim over that too much, and if I added more, maybe my stories would be richer.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If I were to, I'd definitely ask for help.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Well, in middle school, a friend and I wrote some kind of RPF involving INXS (my first obsession). I think we also wrote some Twin Peaks stuff, but I can't find evidence of it. But officially, Schitt's Creek.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Oooh. That's hard. I think And sew it begins... is my most favorite. But I also have a special fondness for A little bit of a misunderstanding and Welcome to Schittsmeade (that one makes me laugh.)

That was fun! Please do this is it looks fun to you! I love reading these!

[thesestoriesarewrittenonmyheart]

I'm going to preface with this has spoilers for the Ted Lasso Christmas ep so as to not make anyone upset...and bear with me it's a bit long.🎄

I have a lot of feelings and I'm not sure they'll be coherent but here we go...(It's also 2:30am here in NY...)

1. The Secret Santa: loved it and thought it was such a Ted thing to do. Also, is that not common outside of the US?

2. Rebecca being the only one in the office to pick up on Ted’s sadness when talking about Henry...understanding that his cheeriness was a cover (because how often during her marriage had she done the same thing?)! I felt like in that moment, she KNEW what she had to do. I also loved this softer side of her and the time she spent with Ted. So, so much.

3. Love Sexy Chrismas, but love little Roy/Pheobe/Keeley family time, more! Also LOVED the Love Actually moment. Fucking Bernard.

4. Rebecca delivering presents to children on Christmas day!!!!!!!! It's canon in my mind she did this because Rupert was a POS and didn't want children. Ugh. My heart.

5. The Higgins family...thinking Sam would be the only one to show and then being okay if it was just Dani, Richard, and Zoreaux....but then the rest of them show!! I think its not just a testament to what Ted's done with the team but also how the rest of them (see: Higgins, and Rebecca, and Keeley) have come to create this found family. I know Higgins says they've done it every year, but they've only gotten 2 at most. Here, there was 8+! That's something special. And loved that they shared their family traditions and invited the team to bring some of their own.

6. "You look perfect." I died. (Side note: Rebecca in jeans is a mood and I am not okay).

7. The teasing: "...drinking and plotting horrible things." "Oh, yea? Like what?" ::turns to Ted, soft smile:: "...I wanted to make sure you're okay." "Yea, well I am now." NOW.

8. The It's a Wonderful Life scene. This. Jason talks about "angel moments" (I'm sure someone can find it...) he mentioned it in regards to the rickshaw at the gala when Ted and Rebecca are outside...these moments where angels find us, especially when we need them most. Ted, after face timing with Henry, and experiencing what is likely the first Christnas without his son, is watching It's a Wonderful Life. The scene we see is George Bailey at the bridge, getting ready to jump. The unhappiness, self doubt, loneliness, uncertainty is at its peak...and then Clarence, an actual angel appears. It's this MOMENT that REBECCA throws the rocks at his window (adorable and every 80s/90s rom com came to mind). She is his Clarence. THIS is an angel moment. Most people think Clarence shows George how good his life is, but what the angel really does is show the impact George had on the small town of Bedford Falls. We've already seen bits of Ted questioning himself and what he's done at Richmond through the introduction of Doc-tor Sharon. Here, in THIS MOMENT, Rebecca reminds Ted he's not alone, she shows him the differences he's made in Richmond, in her and in the end, the LAST thing they do is go to where the rest of their family is...all together, at the Higgins home. It's that end scene of It's a Wonderful Life...all of Bedford Falls in George's home. Returning the love and kindness he's given to them. It's here we see the work Ted's done, and the work every single one of those characters has done, too. God. I loved this episode.

9. The SINGING!! I need Hannah to drop a Christmas album ASAP. Ma'am. PLEASE. Also adored how she held the mic and had Ted sing. The two idiots. (NOW KISS!)

Okay. To bed. (Also please add your thoughts!)

[sleepykittypaws]

Top 25 Holiday TV Episodes

With a few more stand-alone exceptions, I don’t usually list holiday-themed episodes of ongoing series, simply because there are too many each season to keep track of, but that doesn't mean we don't watch them, and have our favorites, which I’ve ranked below.

One note, I'm not considering stand-alone anthologies, like The Twilight Zone's “The Night of the Meek” (1960) or Black Mirror's "White Christmas," not because they're not good—”Night of the Meek” is among the best holiday viewing has to offer—but because they're really more specials, or short films, than episodes of ongoing series, and someday maybe I'll circle back and have a favorites list for that category, too. 😄

Updated: June 26, 2023

Gavin & Stacey Christmas Special, 2019 - Pure perfection, this caught up with the Welsh working class series nearly a decade after it last aired in seamless fashion, and became the most-watched UK show in a decade.

Ted Lasso, “Carol of the Bells,” 2021- The fact that this debuted when it was barely mid-August is honestly the only thing keeping me from moving this near-perfect holiday treat to the top of my list. Will have to watch it again by the light of a Christmas tree to be absolutely sure, but already know this will remain one of my all-time favorites. 

Schitt’s Creek, “Merry Christmas, Johnny Rose,” 2018 - A true one-off holiday special in the UK tradition, where the characters from the show are intact, but it almost seems to take place outside any of the ongoing timeline of the show’s running story, making it endlessly re-watchable, and seriously funny. Like almost everything about this series, it’s near-perfect.

Happy Endings, “Grinches Be Crazy,” 2011 - A great holiday episode of one of my favorite shows. Jane and Brad-centric Happy Endings episodes are the best, and their housekeeper hijinks here are hilarious.

Hart of Dixie, “Hairdos and Holidays,” 2011 - This first-season Christmas episode has the added benefit of being right about when the show started to gel into the lighthearted, quirky, often winking rom-com it became. Goofy Bluebell hijinks abound as Zoe and Lemon bicker over a town beauty contest they’ve entered Rose and Magnolia in, and George and Wade go on a Christmas tree-stealing misadventure. Absolutely one of my all-time favorite comfort watch shows, there are actually quite a few great Hart of Dixie holiday episodes, including season three′s Hanukkah-centered “Miracles.” Who says Christmas cheer doesn’t happen in the South? (cough, Hallmark, cough)

Gavin & Stacey Christmas Special, 2008-In the opposite of the latest Christmas installment, this time the Barry side of the clan heads to Billericay for a very memorable holiday.

Trophy Wife, “Twas the Night Before Christmas or Twas It?,” 2013 - This too short-lived series had a humdinger of a holiday episode, where the parents have to try and piece together what happened one accidentally out of control Christmas Eve

Motherland, “Last Christmas,” 2022 - The second holiday special from this very funny UK series co-created by Sharon Horgan came, in great British Christmas special tradition, two years after the series finale. The messy suburban mom-group returned in fine form for a quite funny and, in the end, extremely touching, Christmas Day celebration that was well worth the wait.

Outnumbered, “The Broken Santa,” 2011 - Wish I had room for all four of Outnumbered's excellent Christmas specials on the list, because they're all wonderful, but this look at Christmas plans gone very wrong is something any parent can relate to. Very difficult to chose between this one and 2009′s “The Robbers,” the series’ first Christmas special.

Great British Bake Off, New Year’s, 2020 - This crossover episode with the fantastic Derry Girls is, somewhat surprisingly, run just like a traditional Bake Off episode, but the wonderful Derry Girls cast, none of whom are expert bakers, make it extra delightful and wonderful. Just an ideal combination of two near-perfect series ably delivering holiday humor and tons of good cheer.

Seinfeld, “The Strike,” 1997 - Not all of Seinfeld has aged well, but the episode that gave us a Festivus for the rest of us remains a standout.

Roseanne, “White Trash Christmas,” 1993 - Real-life Roseanne is beyond problematic, but the original run of her eponymous series, remains a classic.

Happy Endings, “No-Ho-Ho,” 2012 - Jane hiding her holiday birthday, Max dealing with his eggnog addiction, and Alex trying to curb her present fixation are all classic Happy Endings bits.

Veronica Mars, “An Echolls family Christmas,” 2004 - Holiday episodes often step away from ongoing plots, but not Veronica Mars. The mystery of the week moves Veronica closer to Logan, and the season-long arc gets a big jump forward as well, along with plenty of festive flourishes.

Arrested Development, “Afternoon Delight,” 2004 - Like all early Arrested Development episodes this one is jam-packed with jokes and benefits from multiple viewings, from Gob's sticky child phobia, and Lindsay creepily looking for a date to the Christmas party, to Maeby and George-Michael’s hilarious duet. 

30 Rock, “Ludachristmas,” 2008 - Like Festivus, Ludachristmas became a running holiday joke in the series, and this is where it began. We also get to meet Andy Richter as Liz's brother Mitch.

The Simpsons, “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire,” 1989 - This pilot episode of The Simpsons actually originally aired on Fox as a stand alone, The Simpsons Christmas Special, before being spun into the longest-running show on television.

Fraiser, “A Miracle on 3rd or 4th Street,” 1993- Fraiser is one of those series I watched regularly for years, but never really considered a favorite, yet this episode stands out, managing to be both very funny, and hugely moving, saved from being maudlin by the series’ wit.

Bobs Burgers, “Christmas in the Car,” 2013 - Bob's Burgers isn't in our regular watching rotation, but their holiday episodes are classics, and this everything-goes-wrong-on-Christmas-Eve half hour is one of the best.

Downton Abbey, “Christmas at Downton Abbey,” 2012 - This journey back to Christmas 1919 kicked off a tradition of opulent and swoon-worthy Downton holiday specials, always with big twists and lavish holiday festivities that make them a delight to view over and over again.

Veep, “Camp David,” 2016 - Regifting leading to an international incident is exactly the sort of holiday episode only Veep could do, and even though real life has since challenged even some of the series’ wilder storylines, this show is always laugh-out-loud funny.

Malcom in the Middle, “Christmas,” 2001 - This kids vs parents battle in the holiday bribery behavior wars is kind of genius, and absolutely holds up.

Curb your Enthusiasm, “Mary, Joseph and Larry,” 2002 - Larry being a Christmas curmudgeon is a given, not least because he's Jewish, but his repeated interactions here with the live nativity players is among the series' best running gags.

Gilmore Girls, “The Bracebridge Dinner,” 2001 - One of many delightful Stars Hollow holidays, that really goes big on the Christmas touches, with an elaborate Christmas costume party and snow art contest, as well as the touching family dramedy Gilmore Girls is known for.

The Middle, “A Simple Christmas,” 2010 - This consistently undervalued family sitcom, was always good, but rarely great. This is just one of many very good holiday episodes, both features both festive fun and everyone in the series getting to be their best selves, plus guest stars Jerry Van Dyke and Martha Mason as Frankie’s parents, so it’s well worth a watch.

Honorable Mentions

Honestly, when I started to think about it, there are so many great holiday TV episodes this list could go on forever, and that's without even taking into consideration the many classic Thanksgiving or Halloween options out there (a theme to explore on another day, perhaps?), but here, in no particular order, are a few more worthy of note, all of which were in serious consideration for my Top 25…

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Amends,” 1998 - This early episode deep in the Buffy-Angel romance finds the vampire with a soul haunted by his past at the holidays.

Mad Men, "Christmas Waltz," 2012- The Don and Joan powwow we didn't even know we needed, but was then all we ever wanted to see again is the highlight of this excellent holiday-set episode, that just didn’t have quite enough Christmas to make the cut.

Friends, “The One With The Holiday Armadillo,” 2000 - I'm not a Friends super fan by any means, dipping in and out of the series throughout its run, but the gang did know how to do holidays, and this early season, costume conundrum farce, is Friends firing on all cylinders.

Picket Fences, “Cross Examination,” 1993 - This ultra-quirky series isn’t available anywhere to stream, which is shame, as I’d love to rewatch and see if it holds up to my memories. This Christmas-set episode focuses on the religious side of the season, something rarely explored by primetime TV, and has lingered in my memory since I first saw it. A real-life pregnant virgin turning up puts the town’s clergy in a quandary. 2022 UPDATE: Haven’t had a chance to rewatch this episode, but Picket Fences is now streaming on Hulu.

Glee, “A Very Glee Christmas,” 2010 - The storyline was, meh, whatever, but the music in Glee's first, and best, holiday episode has stood the test of time, and still populates my holiday playlist, long after I’ve forgotten most of the series itself.

The West Wing, “In Excelsis Deo,” 1999 - The West Wing can be preachy and pretentious, but it was also, at many times, awfully good, and while this episode that focuses on how there are no days off for world leaders is pure political fantasy porn, it’s one of those really good episodes. Yes, it’s holiday emotionally manipulative, but in all the right ways, and holds up to rewatches.

Modern Family, “The Last Christmas,” 2019 - Far past its peek, this final holiday episode of the series doesn't have as many laughs as something like 2009's “Undeck the Halls,” but it actually works as a series ending better than the actual finale several months later

The Wonder Years, “Christmas,” 1988 - It's no surprise this nostaligia-centered show is at its best around the holidays. This one was genuinely difficult to leave off the list.

The OC, “The Best Chrismukkah Ever,” 2003 - I will die on the hill that the OC would have been a better show if it centered solely on Seth and Summer. And it’s their cuteness here, plus the show's coining (or at least mainstreaming) the term “Chrismukkah” that almost earned it a place on this list.

Everybody Hates Chris, “Everybody Hates Christmas,” 2005 - Everything at Christmas doesn't always work out, and that's funny, too.

The Goldbergs, “A Christmas Story,” 2015 - So few shows deal not only with Hanukkah, but its celebration in concert with the ubiquity of Christmas, as both a religious and cultural touchstone.

ER, “Homeless for the Holidays,” 1996 - Honestly, few shows, particularly long-running dramas, did holiday episodes as well as ER, emotional, funny and heart-rending, Even in later seasons, the Christmas episodes were worth watching, and hold up well. Considered naming 2001′s “I’ll Be Home for Christmas,” which sent off series regular Eriq LaSalle for the last time, and there are a half dozen other worthwhile choices as well, but “Homeless for the Holidays” features the entire original ER cast and offers both humor and heart, in a decidedly festive package.

The Simpsons, “A Springfield Summer Christmas for Springfield,” 2020 - The Simpsons has been on, approximately, one million years, and actually started as a Christmas special (on my Top 25 list above), so there are no shortage of holiday episodes—another of my favorites is 2006′s “Kill Gil, Volumes I & II” which introduced the Grumple into Simpsons, and my own home’s, lore—but their latest deserves a shout out, since it’s a spot-on Hallmark, excuse me “Heartmark,” movie parody episode. Very funny, especially for made-for-TV Christmas movie fans.

AP Bio, “Katie Holmes Day,” 2020 - This not-a-Christmas-episode is none-the-less one of the best, “a very special celebration” TV episodes out there. Can be watched even if you’re unfamiliar with the series, and hits on all the holiday special episodes tropes, while also embracing them. Brilliant.

The Bear, “Fishes,” 2023 - This fraught family flashback episode of the Hulu series is anything but cozy and uplifting, but it’s also an extremely well done look at the seedier side of family holidays, featuring Oscar winner Jamie Lee Curtis as a frazzled, very f’ed up mother alternatively adoring and emotionally terrorizing her family on Christmas Eve.

Derry Girls, “The President,” 2019 - This moving second season finale of the Northern Irish show that’s one of my all-time favorites, would probably have made my top 25 if it had been more about the holiday instead of just set at it, with decor aplenty. Still, this classic episode centered around Bill Clinton’s real-life visit to Derry at the end of November 1995 is one of the series very best.

[ramseyesscom]

Issue Seventy-Five

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Where others watch It's a Wonderful Life or Miracle on 34th Street, the film A Christmas Story was and is the must-watch Christmas thing in our house. My dad absolutely loves that movie, and I still remember the moments that got the biggest laughs out of him the first time he showed it to me as a kid. (In order: 3. Santa boot, 2. Major Award, 1. "Oh, fudge!") So years later when I discovered that the film was based on an embellished memoir, and not only that, the narrator of the film was the guy who wrote it and not just another Daniel Stern wannabe, I dug in. In the 1950s and onward, Jean Shepherd was the coolest voice in radio. One part beatnik, one part storyteller at the bar, slowly but surely his time on the air become less and less about spinning records and more about hearing Shep gab. Soon he began to grow in stature from obscure overnight DJ to famed raconteur, penning story collections, getting stories printed in Playboy, and hosting various documentary specials for PBS. (This is a absurdly abridged version of his career. For a lot more, I'd recommend Excelsior, You Fathead! by Eugene B. Bergmann. Or, for just a little more, here's an article I wrote back in 2013.) But, to put it succinctly, Jean Shepherd spun a good yarn. Over the years, every Christmas Eve, it became a tradition for him to read a chapter from his book In God We Trust (All Others Pay Cash) entitled "Duel in the Snow, Or, Red Ryder Nails the Cleveland Street Kid." The recording linked below is from 1974 as he read the story live on WOR-AM. If you're already familiar with A Christmas Story, there's plenty in there that will sound familiar, but either way, there's nothing like hearing Shep weave a tale.

Look, I don't know why, but between Ted Lasso and other stuff, in 2020 Sincere Positive Things' soccer content has been up 1000%. Well, here's one more "football" thing to take us home: yesterday, The New York Times put out a piece about the community outreach work that Britain's soccer clubs are doing across the nation. Calling fans, giving seats to their older die-hards, sending out players to deliver meals: it's really heart-warming stuff. Is all this the kind of thing that should fall to a football club? No, not really. (It should probably be, y'know, the government's job.) But is it still a really nice thing that's happening in the world? Why, yes, it is.

[aion-rsa]

Ted Lasso and Other TV Bosses We’d Walk Over Hot Coals For

https://ift.tt/3ryGOvx

In the heady moments of celebration after England’s victory over Denmark in this year’s Euros semi-final, the sight of team manager Gareth Southgate prompted ITV pundit Gary Neville to comment: “The standard of leaders in this country the past couple of years has been poor. Looking at that man, he’s everything a leader should be: respectful, humble, he tells the truth.” 

The former Man U right-back’s words, directed at the political rulers of a country riven by Brexit, tap into a modern craving for decency. Fed a diet of self-serving narcissism from our public figures, we hunger for more wholesome fare: moral character, humility, honesty, kindness. In the year of horrors that was 2020, that appetite was temporarily sated on TV by fictional football manager Ted Lasso. 

Played in the Apple TV series by Jason Sudeikis (who, in true Ted style, wore a shirt to the Ted Lasso season two launch in support of the three young Black England footballers who received racist abuse after their team’s eventual loss to Italy in the final), Ted’s thoroughgoing decency won everyone over to The Lasso Way. He’s the gold standard of TV bosses – selfless, caring, wise, inspirational, and patiently dedicated to bringing out the best in his players and the team as a whole. He may not always win on the pitch, but he always wins in our hearts. And if those words make you want to heave, then you, friend, may just need a little more Lasso in your life. #Believe.

To celebrate his return, we present Ted’s TV peers, the bosses for whom you’d go any number of extra miles.

Leslie Knope – Parks & Recreation

There is no finer example set in the TV workplace than Leslie Barbara Knope. The Pawnee public servant leads from the front, the sides and the back. She’s the waffle-powered sheepdog of City Hall, yapping co-workers and townsfolk into shape with her relentless work ethic and bottomless optimism. Leslie’s a boss who cares so much that she’s already bought your Christmas gift. And your birthday gift. And made you a special hand-crafted gift to mark the half-year anniversary of the day you first met. She sleeps three hours a night, runs entirely on sugar (or should that be salgar?), has a binder for every eventuality, and always, always has your back. Her rubber-soled energy is so infectious that over seven seasons she even manages to motivate the lazy (Tom), disaffected (April), dumb (Andy), aloof (Donna), hapless (Jerry) and the downright obstructive (Ron). For a gal named ‘nope’, she’s a whole lot of yes. LM

Bertram Cooper – Mad Men

Technically, advertising firm Sterling Cooper on Mad Men has two bosses – Roger Sterling and Bertram Cooper. Coop, however, is the let’s say…more experienced of the two and takes on the role of boss. And what a boss he is! The eccentric office sage played by Robert Morse takes a decidedly hands off approach to managing the workplace. Do whatever you want in this Madison Avenue ad agency, as long as you take your shoes off when you enter Bert’s office. And if you’re nice enough he might show you his collection of erotic octopus art. AB

Jacqueline Carlyle – The Bold Type

The Editor-In-Chief of Scarlet magazine, the women’s title at the heart of ridiculous millennial wish fulfillment vehicle The Bold Type is part mentor, part mother figure, part fairy godmother to the three young women at the centre of the show. Jane is an intern when she first meets Jacqueline, who greets her with “Are you a writer? You look like a writer.” Because, yep, it really is that easy to get a job at a top magazine. The Bold Type is nonsense but it’s very good hearted nonsense which tries in earnest to tackle big issues while maintaining a sunny outlook. Be yourself, be passionate, be bold, the show says, and the world is at your feet. Sent a couple of tweets? Congratulations, have a promotion! Threatened with a lawsuit because of something you wrote? No bother, have a promotion! Fraudulently passed yourself off as a stylist when you’re not, thereby ruining a key relationship? Meh. Promotion for you! Promotions all round! Jacqueline is glamorous and wise, endlessly patient with her proteges and seemingly in possession of a bottomless budget. We all wish we worked for Jacqueline and she’s a wonderful (imaginary) role model. We’re just slightly nervous for any young fans of the show who ever get to work for an actual, real life Editor-In-Chief… RF

Mr. Krabs – SpongeBob SquarePants

Mr. Krabs is a good boss because he’s refreshingly upfront about what matters to him. Simply put: the crab likes money. As long as you’re putting in the hours and keeping the profit margins fat, Mr. Krabs will be your best friend. Sure, he takes advantage of SpongeBob’s naivete from time to time. But deep down, you know the guy has a heart as big as his enormous whale daughter, Pearl. AB

Supt. Ted Hastings – Line of Duty

Think of Ted Hastings, head of Central Police’s Anti-Corruption Unit 12, as Ulysses – a man sailing on dangerous waters but so determined not to be seduced by the sirens’ song that he’s tied himself to the ship’s mast and stopped his ears with wax. Except replace ‘siren’s song’ with ‘bungs from criminal gangs’, and ‘ship’s mast’ and ‘wax’ with ‘sheer force of will, son’. Ted’s a colossus of integrity in a world of backhanders and turning-a-blind-eye. He does the right thing even when it’s the hard thing, and if you’re one of his officers, then you’re his for life. (Unless you’re a corrupt gangster plant, in which case, by Mary, Joseph and the wee donkey, he’ll never live down the shame.) Ted may have more decency in his side-parting than most officers have in their whole bodies, but he still has his flaws. The stock he puts in loyalty makes him inflexible, and his temper’s a thing to be seen, but the key thing about Ted as a leader is that when he makes a mistake, he owns up to it. We should all be so lucky to have a gaffer like him. LM

Ron Donald – Party Down

Starz’s brilliant comedy Party Down premiered around the same time as classic NBC sitcom Parks and Recreation. As such, Ken Marino’s perpetually stressed boss character Ron Donald didn’t get nearly as much attention as another boss named Ron: Ron Swanson. Let’s be clear, however, nobody would want Ron Swanson as a boss because that means you’d have to regularly interact with a libertarian. Instead, it’s far better to be in the good graces of Ron Donald. This Ron will support your dreams all the while telling you about his own to own a Souper Crackers franchise. AB

Read more

TV

Press Gang: How Steven Moffat’s First Show Shaped a Generation

By Rosie Fletcher

TV

Party Down: a US sitcom that richly deserves your time

By Louisa Mellor

Lynda Day – Press Gang

Bit of of a niche one – you probably have to be British and in your 40s to even know who this is – but Lynda Day, played by Julia Sawalha deserves a mention as the youngest boss on the list. Editor of the Junior Gazette, the after school newspaper run by pupils at the heart of Steven Moffat’s very first show she’s an erudite journalist, a ruthless news hound and a self possessed young woman who cares more about being right than about being liked. Lynda isn’t particularly soft or warm but she is a boss who would make you a better writer. You’d strive to please Lynda, want to live up to her incredibly high standards and know that the work you were doing on the paper could actually make a difference. Lynda is all about work ethic and integrity. Small of frame, sharp of tongue, you wouldn’t wanna mess with her, but you know she’ll get shit done. RF  

Captain Holt – Brooklyn 99

It says something about a boss when you wouldn’t just walk over hot coals for them, you would also do it for their pet dog. Cheddar the corgi is just one of many reasons to snap your sharpest salute to Captain Raymond “Do Not Call Me Ray Or Use Contractions In My Presence” Holt. Precinct captain of the 99, Holt is a walking yardstick of fine taste, good manners, linguistic clarity and grammatical coherence. Holt values simplicity and despises vulgarity. Do your job and do it right, and you will earn his hard-won respect, perhaps indicated by a very slight incline of the head if he is feeling frivolous. Holt has already earned your respect, for leading an exemplary career as an openly gay NYC cop since 1987, facing down racists, homophobes and the lowest of the low: people who use “What’s up?” as a greeting. Captain Holt’s impossibly high standards are a bar few reach, but to which we can all aspire. LM

Ian Grimm and Poppy Li – Mythic Quest

Mythic Quest creative directors Ian Grimm (Rob McElhenney) and Poppy Li (Charlotte Nicdao) are messes on their own. But when their personalities combine, they create one great boss unit who keeps things moving and keeps things lively. Granted, I wouldn’t want to work for Ian and Poppy as a programmer or dev on the Mythic Quest team because crunch is real (and I also have no such skills). They would make for a great boss team in just about any other industry though. AB

DCI Cassie Stuart – Unforgotten

Some bosses try to impress their status on employees by turning up the volume, but not DCI Cassie Stuart. Everything she does in ITV police drama Unforgotten, from case meetings to suspect interrogations, she does in the same controlled, low voice. It gives her words an intensity that shouting wouldn’t achieve and makes her cold-case murder team lean in to absorb the significance of what she’s saying. Usually, that’s on the theme of how they owe victims answers and are going to find them. Diligent and dedicated, she trusts her team, especially partner Sunny, and is the kind of boss whose praise really means something. A ‘good work’ from her and you’d be walking on air. LM

Conan O’Brien – Conan

This is technically violating the spirit of this thought exercise because Conan O’Brien is not fictional. What he is, however, is a boss…in both the metaphorical and literal sense of the word. No late night talk show host has ever reveled in being the boss of a staff as much as Conan O’Brien has on his shows like Late Night, The Tonight Show, and Conan. He views his role as boss as an opportunity to troll his employees like a corny father torturing his children with dad jokes. Many of Conan’s behind the scenes workers have become stars in their own right, like producer Jordan Schlansky or assistant Sona Movessian. And it’s all because Conan can’t help but want everyone to be involved and having a good time. Just like any great boss would want. AB

Captain Janeway – Star Trek Voyager

Anyone can be a good boss in a thriving workplace, but it takes a person of strong character to stay empathetic, decisive, and focused when everything goes to hell. In the very first episode of Star Trek: Voyager, Captain Janeway is stranded with her crew on the wrong side of the galaxy, 70,000 light years from home. She is tasked with getting not only her Starfleet crew home, but also the remaining members of the Maquis vessel Voyager was trying to capture when they were both pulled into the unexplored Delta quadrant. She does this all without the institutional support of the Federation, and without the certainty that they will ever make it back. It’s not always pretty, and Janeway makes some questionable decisions along the way, but it’s hard to imagine Voyager making it home without Janeway as their tough-as-nails boss. KB

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Ted Lasso Season 2 is available now on Apple TV+

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[mattkeepsrambling]

2020 Year In Review

What a supremely dull year. I cannot believe how little happened this year. I got into this whole mask-wearing craze that many people seem to have gotten into (except for those who are REALLY against it.) I'm so happy that all the schools decided that teaching in the building was pointless and could just as easily be done online. Things are so much easier now. The election went off without a hitch or any controversy whatsoever, and I am glad that the outgoing President was gracious and we got another peaceful transition of power. I saw so many movies this year. I stopped going to the theater, though. It was just too dark, the screen was too big and the seats too comfortable. I love being at home and being surrounded by all those distractions. I don't know how 2021 could top 2020.

Best of 2020.

In all seriousness, this year was the worst. Once the world shut down in March, I decided to make the most of it and started cataloging my media consumption (minus video games). It is something I am going to keep doing. I stopped collecting movie tickets a few years ago, and this seems like the next step. I have really enjoyed seeing all that I have consumed. The final tally is 308 movies, 58 television shows/specials, 29 audiobooks, and 43 books/graphic novels since March 18, 2020. As December went on, I had to make sure that I was finished with books, tv shows, and audiobooks before Jan. 1-you will see why when I share my spreadsheet for 2021. Here are the best that I read/watched/listened to this year with all that media. And not all of these things are new for 2020 (most are, though).

Best Movie: Host

A lot of the movies I watched this year were horror movies. You can say that I have been trying to make up for lost time. I subscribed to Shudder recently. It is a streaming service that specializes in horror and thriller movies. I subscribed to the service initially for "Host."

This movie was made during the pandemic, over a Zoom meeting. It is about five friends who do a seance and the spirit they contact. The fact that it is Zoom figures heavily into the movie; it is 57 minutes long, about the length of the free Zoom meeting.

This movie is terrific and damn scary. I have watched very few movies that have genuinely scared me. I have realized what it is that makes a good horror movie: tension. It is all over this movie. This movie uses the general concept of the Zoom meeting so well to build up tension. It doesn't have the benefit of a huge budget and the best cameras. The scenes take place on a computer screen in average rooms. That elevates sudden sounds, slight movements and makes use of darkness.

Honorable Mentions: "Soul," "Promising Young Women," "It Follows," "Hereditary," "Midsommor," "Never, Rarely, Sometimes, Always."

Best TV Show: Ted Lasso

Whenever I talk to other people about AppleTV+, I always mention two things. One is that at $5 a month, you don't even notice the cost. The other is that "Ted Lasso" is worth the price of a subscription.

As I have previously mentioned, the show is about an American football coach being hired to coach English football. This show is based on a one-joke series commercial for NBC Sports. Ted Lasso knows nothing about coaching football.

The commercials boil down to "look how this guy doesn't know anything about England." This should not work as a show. Years ago, ABC aired a TV show based on the Geico commercials' cavemen, and it was terrible. I should know; I watched the pilot and reviewed it for the Buffalo State Record.

"Ted Lasso" works because it is more than the commercials. Yes, they do have a lot of "fish out of water" humor, and you laugh at Ted as he navigates a new sport in a new country, but it is more than that. "Scrubs" creator Bill Lawernce is one of the people behind this show, and it shows. This show can be hilarious and then take a somber turn in no time. "Scrubs" is well known for that.

The other thing that "Ted Lasso" has going for it is boundless optimism. It is baked into the character of Ted Lasso. When the show starts, the fans hate him, the players hate him, and management tries to sabotage him at every turn. Yet, he remains committed to his job and making this team successful. He and his wife go through one of the most amicable divorces ever put on screen. It can be a little much at times, but then that divorce happens. We see Lasso, played amazingly by Jason Sudikus, lose that relentlessly positive exterior.

Those cracks show, and he becomes a much more fleshed out and complicated character. The show has been renewed for two more seasons already, and Lawernce recently said that the creative team had planned three seasons. I love this show, but I think that only three seasons will be a good thing. It means that we will get fully fleshed out arcs, and there is only a certain amount of story that the creators have to tell.

Honorable Mentions: "Fleabag Season 2," "The Clone Wars Season 7," "Harley Quinn Season 2," A Teacher," "Doom Patrol Season 2," "The Flight Attendant Season 1," "The Mandalorian Season 2."

Best Audiobook: Sapiens

This book, published in 2011, has been on my to-read list for a while. Years ago, a friend of mine told me I would like it. In its most basic synopsis, "Sapiens" is a look at how humans evolved. It looks at how we developed societies, religions, governments, and other things that made us the dominant species on the planet.

This book is fascinating. It looks at various social constructs that humanity developed and how that shapes who we have become. Most of the time, I can multitask while listening to audiobooks. I will do the dishes, replay video games, write, lesson plan, clean, or do laundry when an audiobook is playing. This is one I had to give my full attention. There were so many tidbits of information that are just riveting. I was always blown away by what I heard. Despite the topic's denseness (it is 15 hours and 17 minutes long), the audiobook was easy to listen to. It is one that I will be revisiting in the future.

Honorable Mentions: "Ahsoka," "The Graveyard Book," "Crazy is my Superpower."

Best Book: Harleen

I have been a fan of "Batman The Animated Series" forever. One of the most famous things to come out of the series that debuted in 1992 was Harley Quinn character. She started as a sidekick of The Joker. Fans loved her so much that she was given a more prominent role and one of the best backstories of anyone in Batman's rogue's gallery.

Last year DC, under their Black Label brand, released "Harleen," which presented how she went from Dr. Harleen Quinzell, the brilliant psychologist, to Harley Quinn, psychotic on-again/off-again paramour of The Joker. DC Black Label is used for a more mature mini-series, and this is a story that benefits from the freedom allowed. 

The basic plot is that Dr. Quinzell gets a job at Arkham Asylum to study the criminals there for her research into their minds and develop a possible cure. Through her interviews with The Joker, she starts to develop feelings for him. The telling focuses on her background and ends with her fully committing to Joker and a life of crime.

The art by Stjepan Sejic (who also wrote it) is gorgeous. On my second read-through, I took more time to appreciate the art. I bought the issues as they came out on Comixology and read them on my iPad and loved the story and how Sejic chose to tell it. I read them on the way to and from work. With only about 10 minutes on the train, the story was my focus. When I bought the hardcover collected edition, I took my time. It is a beautiful book, and I am glad to have it in my collection.

Honorable Mentions: "One Day," "The Amber Spyglass," "High Hopes," "The Deepest Well," I Wish My Teacher Knew," "Horrorstor."

**Authors Note: I wrote most of the above before I watched "Soul" on Christmas. I have a lot to say about it, and it might have taken the top spot from "Host" (I don't think I could have picked two more different movies to take that top spot). I will have a full review out after at least one more viewing.**

These are the links for my 202 Watch List and my 2021 Spreadsheet.

Media Consumed 2020

Media Consumed 2021

If you have been following my ramblings for the last few years, you know that I don't make New Year's resolutions. I heard the idea of picking a word and working toward that word all year.

This year that word is positivity.

It is really easy to dwell on negative thoughts. In the society we live in now, there is an emphasis put on negativity. It is everywhere, and I hate it. Stop reading right now and think about the best and worst thing that has happened to you. If you are like me, the worst thing comes to mind first. Even though my job is the best thing to happen to me, and it happened in the last two years, my firing from the JCC in September of 2015 hits harder and comes faster. It took me years to get over that and years more to let go of the anger I felt.

There are many reasons why negative thoughts come easier, and I have linked to a few articles I like on the topic below. This year particularly, I have been more prone to rumination on past pain and failures. 2021 is the year I actively try to change that. When I feel a negative thought coming on, I will stop and change my line of thinking.

One concrete example I can give involves my former place of employment. I live very close to the JCC. I walk by it all the time, and I can effortlessly start down the negativity rabbit hole. I am not doing that anymore. I will redirect to the good things that happened there. I am doing that with other places I have negative associations with as well. I want to focus on the positive, think positive thoughts, take positive actions, do things for myself and others that help perpetuate the positive.

I want to weed out negativity in my life whenever I can. Even something as simple as doing the dishes every night before bed (which I started six months ago) is a step in the positive direction. I know this is going to be tough. I despise teaching virtually, and it is what I will be doing for the rest of this school year. But, as much as I hate it, I need to focus on the good moments and less on the bad ones. I will have to stop calling everyone I see outside without a mask a "maskhole" in my head and assuming they are a right-wing MAGA hat-wearing idiot (as I said, it's going to be hard). There is too much negativity in the world right now, and I don't want to contribute to that.

Why Do Negative Thoughts Come to Mind

Is Dwelling on Negative Thoughts Hurting You?

Why Do We Dwell on The Past?

Why Do We Keep Dwelling on Our Mistakes?

The past few years, I have tried to have my word of the year relate to my writing. This year it was a little harder. It was not as straight forward as it has in the past. The choice of positivity was made because there have been so many awful things happening this year that I felt I needed to change my mindset. In regards to my writing, I am keeping it simple: Write something every single day. This heart doc I know motivated me to make this a goal.

I want to write more and find out where "Escape" will end up. I have an idea notebook I will bring with me to jot down inspiration whenever it hits. I am blocking out time every day to write, either something I will post here or just something for me.

Thanks for sticking with me 2,000 words. I hope you all had a great holiday season, and I wish you well in 2021.