#this will not be the end of feyre and rhysand don't worry

[inkedinshadows]

Where You Belong

Pairing: Azriel × reader

Summary: last part of "A Helping Hand". When Y/N realizes Azriel is her mate, it's only a matter of who will admit it first.

Warnings: language if you really squint, Azzie being a little (just a little, I promise) cocky, but honestly who can blame him

Word count: 4.5k

A/N: here it is. Sorry for the long wait. Hope you like it! 💙

A Helping Hand (part 1), Echoes of the Bond (part 2)

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Y/N didn't see anyone until dinner.

She spent the day alone, roaming the family library in the House of Wind, sifting through the books until she found one that piqued her interest. From that moment on, she'd been curled up in one of the cushioned armchairs that dotted the room. Occasionally, thoughts of her last conversation with Azriel interrupted her reading, but she did her best to block them out. She didn't want to think about his mate.

Only when her stomach grumbled did she rise from her comfortable position. Placing the book on the table next to her seat, she left the library and headed toward the dining room.

Indistinct chatter was coming from inside, and she quickened her steps, a smile already on her face as she pushed the door open.

Her eyes were immediately drawn to Azriel, standing in a corner with Cassian and Rhysand. But before she could even consider taking a step in their direction, Feyre appeared in front of her.

“Y/N!” Her friend linked their arms to lead her toward the table. “I was just about to come looking for you. Sit next to me.”

Y/N obliged, and everyone slowly took their seats around the table. Though she noticed Lucien's presence seemed to make everyone a bit wary, the atmosphere was lighter with Feyre back with them. Rhys, who was sitting on his mate's other side, looked particularly relaxed.

As food appeared on the empty plates and conversations started around the table, Feyre turned to face her.

“I'm sorry I didn't greet you properly this morning,” she said. “But my mind was… elsewhere.”

Y/N peered over at Rhysand, who was talking to Lucien and Cassian but seemed to be listening to their conversation.

She looked back at Feyre with a smile. “I know, Fey. Don't worry about it. I'm just happy I have my friend back.”

Feyre returned her smile, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “I am too. I was worried about you, you know. How are you adjusting to this life?”

Taking a bite of her food, Y/N used the few seconds to weigh how much to tell Feyre. She wouldn't usually hesitate – not with her, never with her – but maybe a family dinner right after she'd come back to the Night Court wasn't the right moment for this sort of talk.

“I struggled at the beginning,” she said finally, avoiding details for the moment. “But Azriel helped a lot, and I'm doing much better now.”

As if mentioning him was enough to summon his attention, she felt his eyes settle on her from the other end of the table. She met his gaze with a smile, and the corner of his lips twitched upwards in response.

“Azriel?” Feyre's surprised tone brought Y/N's mind back to her friend, and the Shadowsinger refocused on his own conversation. Y/N rubbed a little spot on her chest.

“I'm glad he helped,” Feyre continued. “And that you're doing okay.”

Y/N nodded and took another bite of her food, but her thoughts were already drifting back to the spymaster. Now that they were in the same room again, she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off, and she kept going back to that morning – Azriel’s words about his mate.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?”

Feyre always had a knack for knowing when something was on her mind. Even when Y/N thought she was concealing her thoughts, the youngest Archeron could pick up on them.

“I was just wondering… how does it feel to have a mate?” Y/N asked, her gaze drifting back to Azriel for a moment before returning to Feyre. “I mean, what kind of bond is it?”

Feyre’s expression softened, her eyes settling on Rhysand, warmth shining in them. As if sensing it, the High Lord turned towards her with a smile that spoke volumes about his feelings for her.

“It’s a bond between souls,” Feyre finally answered. “Like an invisible thread binding two people, a tug toward each other. If two mates accept the bond, then they belong together.”

A tug. Y/N had been feeling a tug toward something for a while now. What if it was toward someone instead?

“Honestly, I hope you'll get to experience it one day,” her friend went on. “It's a connection on a new, deeper level. It's always there, even when you're apart.”

“I hope so too,” she murmured, her hand once more massaging her chest.

There was a pause as they both took a sip of their drinks, the conversation still buzzing around the table. Y/N's thoughts wandered back to Azriel, his quiet presence and the comfort he had provided. There was something more there, something she couldn't quite put her finger on.

“Have you ever met Azriel's mate?” she said suddenly, breaking the silence between them.

Feyre's brow furrowed in confusion. “He doesn't have a mate.”

Y/N's fork paused halfway to her mouth. “He told me he did,” she said slowly. Something dangerously close to hope stirred in her chest.

Feyre's frown deepened, and she shook her head slightly. “I had no idea.” She cast a glance at the Shadowsinger. “He never mentioned having a mate. I always assumed he didn’t.”

Y/N's heart raced as she processed the new information. Why would Azriel lie about something like that? She glanced down the table at him, her mind racing with questions.

A wisp of shadow curled around his ear, and his eyes slid toward her. He almost imperceptibly raised an eyebrow, but this time she didn’t meet his gaze and looked down instead.

“I don’t understand,” she murmured, more to herself than to Feyre. “Why would he tell me that?”

Feyre reached out and placed a comforting hand on her arm. “Maybe there's more to it than just that,” she suggested gently. “He’s quite reserved. I’m sure you’ve noticed that too.”

Y/N nodded, her thoughts a whirlwind. She knew Feyre was right. She needed to confront Azriel, to understand why he had lied to her or why he’d told the truth to her only and not to the others.

The rest of the dinner passed in a blur, the Inner Circle and Lucien delving into a more serious discussion about war and High Lords, most of which Y/N didn’t really comprehend – even less so when her mind was preoccupied with thoughts of Azriel and Feyre's words about the mating bond.

As they finished their meal and began to disperse, Y/N wished everyone goodnight and quickly slipped out of the dining room. She needed to be alone, a moment of quiet to think things through before talking to Azriel.

Because things didn’t really make sense right now.

Either Azriel had lied, or he really did have a mate. But if that was true, why didn’t his friends know? And why would he spend so much time with her and away from his mate?

His mate – the one he’d found just recently, who was as kind and gentle as she was, who he would leave behind every time Y/N needed help.

That last part didn’t sound much like the Azriel she'd gotten to know over the last few weeks, though.

With a sigh, Y/N closed the door to her bedroom and started getting ready for the night. 

Tomorrow, she’d find Azriel. But for now, all she wanted was to turn off her thoughts, if such a thing was even possible.

Sliding under the bedsheets, she tossed and turned for a while, trying to keep her mind blank and fall asleep instead. But every time she thought she was about to enter the realm of dreams, some kind of insect would fly so close to brush her face and she had to bat it away constantly.

After what was probably the fourth time in just as many minutes, she groaned and finally opened her eyes to find the culprit.

It wasn't a fly, like she’d thought.

In the dim moonlight, she could just make out one of Azriel’s shadows hovering right over her nose. She’d gotten so used to their subtle presence in her room that she’d forgotten about it. But that tendril was definitely seeking her attention now, and she watched as it surged forward and gently brushed against her cheek.

Something slid into place inside of her.

Azriel's shadows had been with her since she'd been given this room. They seemed to like her, and judging by Cassian’s reaction that morning, it wasn't common to be favored by the dark companions of the Shadowsinger.

And then there was that tug that Feyre had mentioned – a tug toward each other. She had felt it often during the last three weeks and it always seemed to grow stronger when Azriel was close.

It's always there, even when you're apart. She could feel it now too, like a thrumming presence next to her heart.

What had Azriel said about his mate? That Y/N reminded him of her, that they were a lot alike… and that he'd found her recently.

Just like she had met Azriel only recently.

She jolted upright as realization settled upon her.

But… could it be true? Could it really be that she was the mate Azriel had mentioned? The signs were there, yet he hadn't said anything about it. Not even that morning, when she had blatantly asked if he had one.

Every remnant of doubt and uncertainty faded away when she noticed the rising darkness in the room. From the tiny cracks on the floor and the little gaps under the furniture, shadows were now slithering out of their hiding spots to gather at the foot of her bed, seemingly writhing in what she thought was excitement. The lone tendril that had woken her caressed her cheek once more.

“Alright, alright,” she chuckled, waving it away. “I get it. He’s my mate.”

The solitary strand stilled its movements, and she took the chance to shoot it a warning look, though she couldn’t help the smile on her lips. “Now let me sleep, okay? I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

She was now too tired to go looking for Azriel’s room. She didn’t even know if he was in his room anyway. Besides, this was not a conversation she wanted to have when her mind was a bit sleepy. Better to let the realization fully settle in and deal with it in the morning.

The shadows seemed to understand, because they halted their swirling, and even the stray tendril drew back, returning to the pool of darkness next to her bed.

Y/N lay back down and closed her eyes again. A small smile still graced her lips when she finally fell asleep.

She woke up only a few hours later, her breath gasping and Azriel’s name on her tongue.

A nightmare, nothing more. She tried to calm down, silently repeating it in her head. It was just a nightmare.

But she had to check on Azriel. Her stomach was clutched by an uneasiness that she couldn’t shake. Yet she didn’t move.

It was the middle of the night. Surely Azriel was sleeping by now, and she didn’t want to disturb him, not for something as silly as a nightmare. He’d done enough for her already.

She tried to go back to sleep, to ignore that invisible thread that was pulling at her chest and the thoughts that kept drifting back to Azriel. But every effort seemed useless.

She sat up, running a hand through her hair. The shadows seemed to stir on the floor as if knowing she was considering getting up.

She had no idea where Azriel’s room was. But after realizing they were mates and now the nightmare… she had to see him. It was like a physical need, nudging her to go.

As soon as she rose from her bed, a single wisp of shadow flew from the floor to her, curling around her wrist. She had a feeling she knew exactly which tendril it was.

The bond seemed to pulse in her chest as she headed for the door. But once she was outside, she didn’t know where to go. Nesta and Elain were in the same hallway, but what about Azriel? Maybe he wasn’t even on the same floor, for all she knew.

The bracelet of darkness tugged her toward the left end of the hallway, and she looked down with a frown. It did it again.

“You want me to go in that direction?” she whispered, taking a single, tentative step.

A third tug.

This was a potentially bad idea. She should have stayed in bed. Azriel was no doubt sleeping, and she would only bother him.

Yet her feet moved, and she didn’t fight the shadow as it guided her through the hallways.

~~~~~~

Azriel knew Y/N had left her room the moment she closed the door behind her thanks to his shadows. What he hadn't expected was that she was coming here, yet a few tendrils curled around his ear, whispering the same word over and over.

Mate. Mate. Mate.

A moment later, he heard her soft footsteps down the hallway. They stopped right outside his door.

He waited for her to knock, but when no sound came, he debated whether he should go open the door and let her know he was aware of her presence.

Just as he stood up, three light and quick taps on the wood resonated in the room.

Azriel swallowed. Maybe this could be his chance to tell her about the mating bond.

He walked up to the door, opening it to reveal Y/N, barefoot and clad only in her nightgown. She was fidgeting with her hands and he could bet he heard her hold her breath when she saw him.

“Did I wake you?”

Azriel glanced down at the Illyrian leathers he was still wearing. “No,” he answered with a small smile.

Only at that moment did he realize a shadow was wrapped around her wrist, just like that morning. Knowing it had been caught, the stray tendril flew back to hover around his wings with the others. His dark companions seemed to be as captivated by her as their master was.

Azriel took a better look at her. She was beautiful, even with her unbound hair a bit tousled on one side of her head. That detail, and the fact that she hadn’t bothered wearing slippers, told him she had slept – at least for a while. But judging by her fidgeting and her presence here, something was gnawing at her.

“Are you okay?” he asked quietly, moving to the side in a silent invite to step in. “Did you have a nightmare?”

She didn't hesitate to walk past him. “Yes.”

Her sweet scent filled his nostrils, clouding his mind so much that he barely heard her answer. She was looking at him now, her brows furrowed.

“I thought you didn't have them anymore,” he finally replied.

“Not usually, but… this one was different.” He didn't miss the tension in her voice, or how she was avoiding his gaze. “It was about you, Azriel.”

His eyes widened. If she was upset about something, if he'd maybe hurt her in her dreams… but she probably wouldn't be looking for him if that was the case, right?

“It was about that day in Hybern,” she went on. “But I wasn't being pushed into the Cauldron. It was…”

When her voice trailed off and she didn't continue, Azriel stepped closer to her and gently brushed her arm. For someone who'd lived for more than five hundred years, he wasn't sure how to act around her. He didn't know if he was allowed to touch her to comfort her, despite the help he'd already offered her multiple times. Things were different now.

“It's okay, Y/N,” he said gently. “You don't need to tell me.”

But she shook her head. “You were dead,” she murmured, her voice trembling. “In the dream, you… you were dead and I couldn't do anything.”

Before he even knew what he was doing, Azriel wrapped her in his arms. He stroked her hair, his shadows joining in and swirling through her locks.

“I'm alright. It was just a nightmare,” he whispered. He felt a sob tear through her body, and for a horrible moment he thought she'd shrink back into herself like weeks ago.

And so Azriel kept murmuring soothing words while he held her close, to prevent her from turning again into a shell of herself or having another panic attack.

Yet when Y/N pulled away just enough to look up at him, her eyes were dry. Azriel could get lost in their depths.

“I know what you are, Az,” she said, and time seemed to slow as his mind came up with all the different possibilities of what she meant.

But what she said after wasn't one of them.

“I know you're my mate.”

Time stopped completely. Azriel froze, his shadows with him, halting their swaying around her.

He seemed to watch in slow motion as she brought up a hand to cup his cheek. As her eyes softened and a smile appeared on her face.

Maybe this was all some kind of dream. Maybe he'd fallen asleep without realizing. But his shadows were whispering to him again.

Real. Real. This is real.

Azriel let himself enjoy it then. He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. His hand came up to cradle hers, a small sigh leaving his lips as he relaxed.

“You are my mate.”

How she knew, Azriel had no idea. He knew for a fact his brothers and Amren – the only ones who had figured it out – wouldn't tell her before he could. And if Y/N had pieced it together herself, it still wouldn't matter.

The only thing that mattered was that she was here now, and she didn't seem upset or angry.

“I'm sorry I didn't tell you,” he finally replied. When he opened his eyes, she was smiling up at him.

The sight threatened to make him crumble. He wanted to pull her closer and kiss that soft smile.

Y/N just shrugged. “It's alright. I'm not sure I would have understood it if you'd told me sooner.” Her thumb brushed against his cheek before she stepped back, and Azriel reluctantly let go of her hand and mimicked her movement.

“But you could have told me this morning,” she added, her tone amused. “When I asked if you had a mate.”

Azriel ran his fingers through his hair as he offered her a small, nervous smile. “You caught me off guard. It doesn't happen often.”

“Oh?” she chuckled, the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard. He even forgot to say something else.

Instead, he reached for the bond he'd kept buried deep down and let it come back to the surface. He gave it a tentative, gentle tug and watched as Y/N tensed and her eyes widened, her hand going to that spot he'd seen her rub multiple times already.

A moment later, he felt her tug back. And knowing she wasn't running away from it, from him, he closed the distance between them once more. His hand tangled in her hair, tilting her head back and earning a small gasp in return. The need to kiss her was taking over his senses and he struggled to keep control.

Normally he'd go for it, the fact that Y/N didn't pull away and instead seemed to wait for his next move enough to tell him she wasn't going to reject him. And if she were any other girl, he'd do it. But with her, he needed to be sure. He didn't want to rush anything.

“Do you still think what you said earlier?” he asked in a hushed tone. “That my mate was lucky to have me?”

“I'm only more convinced of it now that I know it's me,” she murmured. Her smile lit up her whole face as she moved even closer. “I'm lucky to have you.”

For the first time in centuries, Azriel was feeling overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by her scent now permeating his room, by their bodies brushing against each other, by the mating bond finally out in the open and not hidden in the depths of his soul.

“No, I'm the lucky one to have you, Y/N.”

Their eyes met again and he was about to ask her if he could kiss her – Cauldron, he might even beg for it – when her gaze dropped to his lips. He waited one heartbeat, two, but when she still hadn't looked up by the third one, it was both the confirmation and permission Azriel needed.

With his hand still cradling the back of her head, he pulled her closer while he leaned down. They met halfway and Azriel’s first thought was that he would gladly stay like this forever.

Her lips were soft and warm, and they parted slightly, allowing his tongue to slip inside. He felt her hands on his chest and his wings rustled quietly behind him, an involuntary reaction to her touch.

But Y/N pulled back, the absence of her lips on his like a sudden emptiness in his heart.

His fingers tightened in her hair and when she moaned softly against his mouth, Azriel knew he was a goner.

Her cheeks had taken on a light shade of pink that made him smile. He was so lost drinking her in that he almost missed the words she whispered.

“Stay with me tonight.”

His smile widened. “You're in my room, Y/N.”

“Right.” She chuckled even as she blushed, the sight endearing. “Then let me stay with you for tonight.”

Azriel tucked her hair behind her ear. “You can stay with me every time you want. Every night, if that's what you wish.” He leaned down to press a tender kiss to her lips. “Wait in bed. I just need to get changed.”

She nodded and stepped back, his hand falling away from her cheek.

As he moved towards his drawer, the shuffle of the sheets brought a smile to his lips. He fought the urge to turn and see her lying in his bed. His mate, in his bed. Something he had almost stopped hoping for, after so many centuries.

Eager to join her, he quickly took off his Illyrian leathers to replace them with his sleeping pants. 

He didn't need his shadows to whisper in his ear to know she was watching him. He paused just as he was reaching for the shirt and lifted his head instead.

“Like what you see?” he asked, a teasing not in his voice.

The only answer he got was a low mumble that he couldn't quite make out, which only made his smile widen. Cauldron, he really wanted to turn around and see her face. He was ready to bet she was blushing.

Deciding against wearing his shirt – definitely not because he was a smug bastard who wanted to see her reaction – he turned and walked towards the bed.

He was rewarded by Y/N quickly looking away, her cheeks flushing a deeper shade of red as she lay back down.

Azriel chuckled, a hint of satisfaction in his eyes. A part of him felt a twinge of guilt, maybe he should have donned the shirt to spare her the embarrassment. But he couldn't deny he enjoyed seeing her flustered.

With a swift movement, he joined her under the bedsheets. “Y/N,” he called gently. “You know you don't have to shy away, right?”

He ran a hand down her spine and felt her shiver through the thin fabric of her nightgown. “You're my mate,” he continued. “You can look as much as you want.”

She scooted over until her back was pressed against his chest. Azriel immediately wrapped her in his arms and relished in the way her body seemed to fold into his, like that's where she belonged.

“Those are dangerous words, Azriel,” she warned. He could hear amusement in her voice and he knew she was smiling.

“Why?”

She intertwined their fingers and, to his greatest shock, brought them up to her lips and pressed a gentle kiss on the back of his hand.

It had been decades since Azriel had learned to accept his hands and his scars, decades since he'd stopped hiding them with gloves or in his pockets. He'd done horrible and unspeakable things with those hands, but to protect his court – his family – he'd do them again. And yet to have Y/N, his mate, openly kissing them so tenderly…

He wasn't sure he was breathing.

His shadows curled around his ear, whispering something about an answer, and he realized Y/N had turned her head to look at him. She was frowning, the expression creating a small crease between her brows that he had never noticed before.

“You didn't hear what I said, did you?”

She only smiled, turning around again. “I said that I might not stop looking then.”

Azriel felt a heat creep up his cheeks. “Sorry,” he murmured.

His arms held her tighter, pulling her closer until there was no space left between their bodies. As he pressed a kiss to her shoulder, he whispered, “You're very beautiful too, Y/N. I've had a hard time not staring at you since the moment I met you.”

With their joined hands resting close to her chest, Azriel could feel her heartbeat increase. Grinning from ear to ear, he waited as she shifted a bit like she was debating whether to turn around in his arms or not. But she eventually settled against him again and murmured a thank you.

Shying away from compliments, then. He would remember that. And he would shower her with compliments until she too believed she was the most beautiful girl he'd ever laid eyes on.

He wanted to start now, to make her turn around and kiss her again till their lips were swollen. Instead, he draped his wing over them, creating a little cocoon of darkness and warmth where only the two of them existed.

“It’s quite late,” he murmured against her neck. “We should sleep.”

 She hummed in agreement. “Goodnight, Azriel.”

“Goodnight.”

He closed his eyes, ready for the long hours it usually took him to fall asleep. It wasn't until he heard her voice again that he realized he was already falling into a peaceful slumber.

“Az?”

“Mh?”

Her voice was a whisper, barely audible even in the silence of the night. “This morning, when Cassian mentioned having the biggest wingspan and you snapped… is that a mate related thing, or just Illyrian?”

He had no idea how she'd come up with such a question at this hour. Smiling at her innocent curiosity, he tried not to let his mind wander into dangerous territory.

“I'll explain another time,” he mumbled. “Go to sleep, Y/N.”

She giggled, the sound like music to his ears. And with his mate in his arms – her scent filling his nose, her hair tickling his neck, her soft body pressed so perfectly against his – he knew he wanted to sleep like this every night.

After centuries of searching, Azriel had finally found the place he belonged.

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Taglist: @mrsjna @navyblue-eternity @paintedbyshadows @highladyandromeda @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @azrielsmate3 @mollygetssherlockcoffee @mirandasidefics @tinystarfishgalaxy

A Helping Hand Tags: @myromanempiree @loving-and-dreaming @satttanx @a-courtof-azriel @randomdumsblog @whistle1whistle @thecraziestcrayon @tinystarfishgalaxy @jesskidding3 @starlitlakes

[a-new-romantic]

you belong with me ♡ (azriel x reader)

heavily inspired by taylor swift's "you belong with me" summary: you wonder when azriel will notice that you are the one for him. a/n: first fic! i appreciate any support given <3 looking for moots too! please please please, reach out!

"i'll be taking elain to starfall, as my date" azriel proclaimed to the inner circle at dinner, various expressions of surprise crossing rhysand's and cassian's face as they clap their brother on the shoulder. nesta's head whips towards you, eyes watching as your face falls for a split second, before grinning and congratulating the two of them.

"wonderful," you thought to yourself, picking at the food on your plate. you and elain couldn't be more different. she was a gentle and caring being, ever caring about the world around her. you were a rambunctious and outgoing fae, polar opposite of elain. the more you thought about it, the more differences you had with elain.

elain preferred wearing dresses and skirts. you preferred your fighting leathers and simpler outfits.

elain preferred spending her day in the garden, tending to her flowers and plants. you preferred spending the day training with cassian or going out with mor and nesta.

if elain was his type, then how could you ever have a chance with him?

little did you know, rhysand and cassian both gawked at the news azriel revealed. never in a million years did they think that azriel would end up with elain. to be frank, they both thought he would end up with you.

why couldn't he see that he belonged with you?

as the weeks passed, starfall quickly approached. with that, the number of preparations and little tasks around the house grew exponentially. rhysand had assigned you and azriel to hang up decorations around the city, to get the citizens excited for starfall.

"so, are you excited for starfall?" azriel asked with a grin as you walked through the streets of Velaris, looking for places to hand up decorations.

your mind goes blank as you stare at his smile, convinced it could light up the whole town.

"oh, i don't know," you muttered, turning abruptly to walk down a side street to hang up another poster. "i might not go," you admitted, waving your hand out to grab the decorations.

"what? why?" azriel pressed, worried if you were ill or uncomfortable with going. "i'm sure rhysand won't make it too extravagant or anything, (lie)".

"it's not that," you said, sighing as you decide to tell him. "i don't have a date. rhysand has feyre, nesta has cassian, and hell you even have elain. i don't have anyone." you said, taking a breath to continue before he interrupts you.

"so? going to starfall alone is not a crime, nor is it embarassing." he said, staring at you.

"i guess we'll see," you told him as you finish hanging up the decoration. "let's go back to the house?" you ask him, looking up at him.

he raises an eyebrow, not done with the conversation. yet, he dismisses it. "sure, let's fly." he says. he flies you both up to the house before he puts you down. as you turn away, he says "hey," you pause in your tracks, turning around.

"starfall won't be the same without you." he says softly, as you sigh and walk away. you didn't want to go with anyone but him.

a couple of days pass and starfall arrives and so does nesta. she barges into your room to meet your wallowing figure moping in bed.

"get up," she orders, yanking the blankets off your body as you shiver from the sudden cold.

"nestaaaa," you groan, shoving your face in the pillows.

"no more moping around about az. you're gonna get the fuck up, dress up all pretty with me, and we're going to starfall. who knows? maybe he'll recognize that maybe he belongs with you." her voice left no room for argument.

starfall was in full swing by the time you were ready, you and nesta enter through the back door of the house to meet a wonderful set up outside.

"it looks amazing rhys," you say as you approach your high lord, grasping his arm.

"thank you y/n," he says with a look of pure joy as he eyes feyre dancing with mor, "you look lovely," he says.

"you do!" cassian pipes up from behind rhysand, slamming down on his shoulders in surprise. rhysand groans as he startled, smacking cassian upside the head. "just like brothers," you thought.

"az doesn't know what he's missing" rhysand muttered into your mind, your eyes blinking in surprise as you look at him.

"he's an idiot for not seeing the obvious truth in front of him." he says, speaking his thoughts into words.

as you two converse about the subject at hand, azriel eyes you for what seemed like the thousandth time that night. you looked ravishing to him, in your navy blue gown that seemed to compliment your figure perfectly.

"az?" elain asked softly, grabbing at his jaw to turn his head back to her. "you keep looking at rhysand, is everything alright?" she muttered softly, worried.

he blinked rapidly, "oh yeah, everything is fine." he stated as he stood up from his seat. "i'm gonna go get a drink," he told her. elain nodded and turned to another party goer, starting up a conversation with them.

he ventured over to you slyly, "hi y/n." he stated, scaring you.

"az! hi, " you muttered, giggling as his shadows trailed up and down your arms.

"pretty, lovely, gorgeous" they muttered in his ears. he could not help but agree with them.

"care for a dance?" he muttered before he could second guess himself. he watched as disbelief crossed your face before you smiled and nodded, thrusting your drink into cassian's hand. he watched out of the corner of his eye as nesta gave you a thumb's up and a smile, and as rhysand gave you a nod of good luck.

"so, i didn't think you were coming," he started as the music begun, twirling you around effortlessly.

"nesta changed my mind," you admitted with a grin. "i'm glad i came," you said.

"me too," he quickly added. "you look amazing." he said, no trace of joke in his tone.

"oh!" you said, "thank you az, you look lovely as well." he grinned at the compliment, his confidence increasing tenfold as he realized how flustered you were becoming at the whole situation.

suddenly, both of you felt a heavy but comforting presence in your chest. a strong pull of emotions started to bridge the gap between the two of you. you both halted your dance in the middle of the floor, breathing heavily as the mating bond locked into place.

azriel's shadows swirled around the two of you, casting a contrasting haze to the starlight around you.

he opens his mouth to speak, as everything clicks in his brain.

you're the one he's been looking for the whole time. you're the one made for him, literally perfect for him. everything you do compliments his own. no one else shares the same interests as him, no one understands him as well as you do. his humor, his story, his life, it all belonged to you. there was no better match for him, than you.

he kicks himself internally for not figuring it out sooner.

he pulls you into a searing kiss as the stars around you illuminate the sky. cheers from rhysand, cassian, and nesta echo in the background while elain gasps in surprise and shock.

"you belong with me."

[harrystylesfan2686]

Alone

Pairing: no one really.

Summary: Reader starts to feel left out in her own family...

Warnings: Neglection. Suicide thoughts. Self harm (in detail) please go back if any of these bother you. Your mental heath matters more.

A/N: I think I need therapy too...

Masterlist Part 2(Azriel) Part 2(Eris)

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Ever wondered what it's like to be alone?

It's a game, really. A game of utter self degradation. A game where there are only two players, you and your mind. A game where you never truly win and you always have to keep playing because your brain never tires.

A game which no one else realizes your playing until you lose and it's too late.

It's the game you have been playing ever since the Archerons joined the inner circle. You love them all, honestly. Thier different personalities was the first thing that drew you to them. You admir all three of them but the one thing you hate is how you got left alone after their involvement to your life.

Before them, you all relied on all of you for company and support. Now, everybody has their own person.

Rhysand has Feyre, Cassian has Nesta, Azriel has Elain, and Mor and Amren have found thier partners too but in case they aren't present, Mor and Amren, as crazy as it sounds, rely on each other. Just like that, everybody has a person to go home to, to come back safely for, to turn to for comfort.

You don't have anyone.

You hate going home because your bed is always empty. You hate going on missions because you know no one would be worrying about you every minute you gone. You hate celebrations because you have no one to dance with, to drink with, to end the day with.

You love family dinners. Even though you never get a chance to speak, even though you never talk to anyone, even though no one notices your presence. You love family dinners and meetings because it's the only time youre not alone.

It's doesn't matter if you're lonely, at least you aren't alone.

But in the game you're playing with yourself, after a while, you get too tired to challenge back with same force. You don't push back the mean thoughts your mind throws at you as insults. You listen to them, compare them to your situation and realise, you've been trying to win for nothing.

You slowly stop trying to protect yourself all together.

The first time you didn't go to a family dinner, you thought you would regret it later but you didn't, instead you felt glad that you didn't go because no one had come to get you, no one came to ask why you didn't show, no one cared about you enough to think why you didn't go.

So you stopped going at all.

You stopped doing everything with you 'family' and prefered being left alone.

You only met them when you had a mission together or anything related to work.

Just like that, today you had gone to one of the Illyrian camps at Rhys orders. He got report saying things haven't been going as they should there and wanted you to go check. But on your way back you had been ambushed by a group of six men wanting to kill you in the camp, they couldn't of course but you did come out of the fight with a large sward wound on your left side.

All you wanted to do was go home, rest, tend to your wound and sleep. You can give the report to Rhys tomorrow.

You let out a grunt and step in your house, immediately tense seeing a shadow of a person move the dark room. Your hand placing itself in your dagger straped to your thigh, you other hand on the left side of your waist pressing on your wound.

"Relax, it's just me." A familiar voice fills the silence as the fae lights turn on and Rhysands face becomes visible. You sigh in relief and furrow your eyebrows,"What you doing so late in my house?" You nearly snap, but hold back as respect for your high lord.

"You came late you were suppose to be here two hours ago." For minute it feels like he cares for you, and you allow yourself to believe that he was worried for you but you fantasy shatters the second he opens his mouth again. "You were supposed to deliver your report two hours ago. You know how important this is, I have other things to do too." His voice sharp as he scolds you.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I got attacked while leaving, it took time to fight them of. It was six against one but well I managed to survive, eh?" Rhysand's scowl deepens. "Tell me what happened there now."

Your eyes closs for a second whem you feel dizzy. "Look, how about you give me ten minutes to freshen up, and I also have a wound to–," You try to say but he cuts you off saying,"I don't have more time. Tell me right now what happened so I can get started on fixing things, then you can have all the time to fresh up as you want. My office, now." He doesn't leave much to room to argue and winnows you to his office.

You sigh and start speaking, repeating everything you noticed in the camp as Rhysand listens and writes down the report. Near the end, you feel another wave of dizziness hit you and put your head down to rest it against the backrest of your chair and groan when you feel pain shoot up from your injury from the movement.

Rhysand finally notices the source of your pain and his eyes flare,"You're hurt?" You scoff. "Yes. That's what I was trying to tell you before you winnowed us here."

"I didnt notice it. I'm sorry, you should go tend to it." He quickly dismisses you, finally letting you go back to your house.

As you look at yourself in the mirror, thinking how filthy and hideous you seem, you grit your teeth. Of course no one notices you. Look at you. You are ugly and filled with dirt and scars all over your body.

How could anyone look at you when you can't even look at yourself.

Your gaze falls to your wound, the big cut that spread from under you left breast to the start of your thigh. If was deep enough to bleed you dry.

Would anyone even notice if you did? If you don't heal and let the injury bleed you dead. Would anyone know that you were gone? That your body layed unmoving in the bathroom floor. How long would it take for someone to find you? Who would find you? Probably Rhysand when he needs you for his next mission.

You eye your dagger that you unshielded on your way in the bathroom. How long would it take for you to bleed out? Hours? Days? You didn't want that. That was too much. You don't think you can handle that much pain constantly. Maybe if you took that dagger and deepen your cut, you would bleed out faster. Maybe you would have a faster death. Sure it would hurt but at least you would be gone before someone found you.

You would be free. Free of the loneliness. Free of the feeling like you were a burden in everyone's life. Free of wanting Someone to care for you the way you see everyone else care for their loved ones. You would finally be at peace.

You gasp and blink out the terrible thoughts. Breathing heavy, you search for the cotton and Healing cream in the cupboards. You groan out with you don't find any of them.

You turn back to the mirror. Maybe your brain is right. Maybe this is a sign from Mother herself telling you to not let the wound heal and die right here, right now. Your gaze finds the knife again, eyeing the sharp edge. Would it really be that bad?

Your hand grips the handle of the dagger, bringing it closer to the cut. You let the cold mettle edge scrap the skin, an inch afar the start of the cut. The sharp edge slicing through skin like paper, leaving a line of crimson red blood, seeping out of the newly cut skin.

Your eyes widen as you observe yourself, keeping the knife near the cut but not touching it entirely.

It's... mesmerizing. The way blood slowly comes out of the skin, the small and steady lines created by your dagger are engrossing. And the pain, the pain is hypnotizing, slowing raising to the rest of your body. Your body feels electrified, there's snips of pain tingling through out your entire body, your ears buzzing with excitement. Your hands are shaking and eyes bluring but all you can focus on is how much you want to do this again. Feel your skin open beneath you knife again. Feel the pain that slowing raises with each extra inch of cut.

Oh gods. What have you done?

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[imaginesmai]

Right around the corner (3) - Azriel

LISTEN I CAN EXPLAIN if you've been here for a while now, you can expect this part. If not, may I present myself - hi, I'm Mai and I'm an angst queen bitch. Fourth part already on the way, don't worry!

(1), (2), (3), (4), (5)

Plot: the turth comes out, but in a way Azriel didn't expect.

Warnings: prepare tissues.

Azriel had taken his time to process the words, and in the meanwhile, he had received so many notes from his family that he had his hands full of small paper balls.

There were notes from Feyre updating him of the screaming match between Cassian and Rhysand, long texts from Mor promising him the house was a safe place for you and that he better hurry to bring you out. Even Amren had written a brief ‘I knew it, boy’ that had him more worried than before.

It wasn’t as if he didn’t want you to meet them. He loved his family like nothing else, and knew they would only be supportive and kind to his new status. Him being mated or not didn’t change the way they saw him, but part of him – the part that had felt rejection from his mother and his blood-family, was scared.

Azriel ended up sitting in the kitchen counter in front of you with a frown and a growing headache. Even though it was late and you had had a long day, you instantly noticed his mood.

“What’s wrong?”

It wasn’t unusual for Azriel to go quiet in your presence. You had learned by then that it didn’t mean you did something wrong. Most of the times, it was his insecurities popping up randomly in his mind, the troubles of the day dragging him away from you.

And through the years, you had learned that there was nothing else to do but to stay close to him and remind him that he was there. Right with you, and that you loved him.

Still, as you stared at him that night, you noticed it wasn’t the usual frown. He snuck glances at you and moved from the couch, where he was banned, to the kitchen. You left the bowl aside and stood in front of him, one arm extended so he could hold your hand.

“How do you know Feyre?” he asked, not taking your hand.

“Feyre as… the high lady?”

“Yeah. You greeted her the other day. You two know each other?”

“Guess so. She has her art study right in front of my bakery, haven’t you noticed?” you answered, not understanding the nature of the question. “When she moved in, I baked her a welcome to the neighborhood pie and she has actually painted two of the pictures I hang on the wall”

“Feyre painted pictures for you?” Azriel raised an eyebrow. “Are you two friends?”

“Well, not friends per say, but we know each other. That’s what usually happens when you work in front of someone else’s work” you shrugged, you open hand still empty. “Why?”

“I didn’t know you knew her”

“Should you know I know her? For any specific reason?”

“It would have been nice to know you know my high lady. My brother’s mate”

“Now you know. What’s with all this ‘you know I know’? Why does it matter?”

You didn’t understand why but there was an annoyed edge on his voice that you didn’t like. As a morning person, you usually went to bed early, and any minute past midnight was a minute you were supposed to be asleep. No matter how nice it was to spend time with Azriel and how good he had made you feel an hour ago, now you were annoyed.

The male stared at you, still not answering your silent call for his hand. One of his many shadows crossed the table and jumped at the chance of tangling between your fingers. That would have been enough to make you laugh any other day.

That night, you just stared at each other.

“Az, why are you so – “

“Because you should have told me, Y/N” he cut you off. “You know how important my family is to me, and I think it’s fair to ask that if you know any of them you should tell me. So I’m prepared for this”

“What’s this exactly? Late night discoveries about my neighbors?”

Azriel was quiet for a moment, frustration clear in his features. It was a stupid argument over a stupid situation, and Azriel being on his underwear and you only on his t-shirt without panties didn’t make it any less stupid. You rarely argued, and when you did, it was you who had the pointless argument and Azriel the calm one.

His shadows moved behind the couch and dumped in front of you a bunch of papers. They were all wrinkled and Azriel didn’t have time to hide them or think about how to approach the situation before a new one popped out of thin air. It landed next to your open hand, his shadow catching it and unfolding the content.

Does she eat cereal straight from the box? Is it why you’re hiding her?

You didn’t need to think hard to know it was talking about you, and who the note belonged to. In the past, Rhysand had sent notes to Azriel while you were having a shower together, in bed together, and one had even appeared inside your oven while he was helping you around.

“Feyre told them about you” Azriel explained, having read the note upside down. “And because I didn’t know you knew her, now they are deeply offended and want to meet you”

It took you a while to make sense to his words, because you couldn’t find the problem past you not telling him about Feyre. Quickly, you read some of the notes where Cassian threatened Azriel and Rhysand demanded his presence. They were friendly notes, no harm in them. Still, you couldn’t understand the utter sadness until you realized the meaning behind his annoyance.

Finally, you pulled your hand back to your side, not with little resistance from the shadow. You must have opened the bond channel because Azriel frowned, hit with sadness instead of the usual love.

The first note, where Rhysand explained that Feyre had told him, was what brought it all together.

“You haven’t told them you have a mate”

It occurred to you that you had believed it done with no proofs. You didn’t mind Azriel being at your house, living in your apartment. You didn’t mind having separate Starfall and lives. You didn’t mind either when he left for a family dinner and kissed you goodbye, because you understood his need of privacy, of having something that was just his.

What you didn’t understand until that moment that he hadn’t even told them you existed. And through all the reasons that ran to your mind at his silence, you couldn’t pick just one.

“It’s not that they don’t know me. They don’t know you’re mated”

“You agreed when I said I need to take things slowly. That I needed time” he blurted out suddenly, your sadness making space for his annoyance. “The bond was a surprise for me. I didn’t want to rush things”

“Azriel it’s been six years. Six! It’s not a casual fling or a one-night stand” you tried to voice your hurt, your sadness. “It’s not the same not meeting them that being a secret”

“It’s not like I keep you a secret. They haven’t asked and I haven’t – “

“Because you haven’t told them! What – How do you explain the days you spend here? And the… I – Azriel, we’ve been dating for six years and they haven’t asked?”

“They’re used to me sneaking around”

“For months?” you chuckled. “We were locked here for months after we mated. How did you explain that?”

His words were background noise because, above his absences, there was something you realized they should have noticed. Something anyone noticed from mated pairs as soon as they left the house. White noise filled your ears as he tried to excuse himself by talking about missions.

About your safety, about the worry of something happening to you if they discovered you were his mate.

Azriel blurred in front of you as realization hit you and tears filled your eyes. You could barely hold it together as you spoke.

“You’ve been hiding the mating bond” your breath hitched, because if there was something more important than your bakery, it was your bond. “They should have smelt it. But you’ve been hiding it”

“I didn’t hide it, please, don’t say it like that” his voice broke at the end, willing you to listen to him.

“Right. Because you can’t hide the bond from them unless you don’t accept it” you saw the moment your words hit him, the guilt in the way his shadows almost clouded your vision and his wings flared. “You didn’t accept the bond”

Azriel didn’t answer and, worse than any other betrayal or pain, it broke your heart. You remembered offering him the lemon pie, him tearing up and eating. Accepting the bond was an individual decision, one he should have made years ago – just like you did.

You still shared it; you still were mates. The only difference was that, while you proudly loved him and adored each part of his body and soul, he had rejected your smell on him, your imprint on his own.

An invisible hand cut off your air supply and your breath hitched. You covered your mouth with your hand and muffled the sob, but he felt the exact moment your heart broke. Even if he didn’t show it to the world, he could still feel you. Your feelings, your essence. His own eyes teared up and now he extended his hand forward.

A silent invitation, the same you had given him so many times when he was in need of comfort, of love.

But that time, you didn’t reach forward nor acknowledge the shadows that tried to pull you closer to him.

“Get out”

“Darling”

“Get out” you pointed a shaky finger towards the door.

“Y/N, please. It’s not what you’re thinking” he tried to explain, his voice broken by his sorrow. “I accepted the bond. I just – “

“Get the fuck out now!”

The bowl that you had been filling with lettuce, salmon and other vegetables flew from the desk to where he was standing. His shadows, by their own consciousness or his master’s, didn’t stop it as it crashed against his chest. It spilled all over his naked chest, and before he could clean it, there was another tray with grilled pork on your hand.

Azriel’s last look to you was of pure despair and sorrow. He winnowed away before the second tray could hit him, leaving you with his shadows already cleaning up the mess.

As soon as he was out of sight, you fell down to your knees and sobbed.

-

He didn’t have a plan, and when he winnowed away, the last thing on his mind was the sound of your heart breaking. There was no way he would go to his house and face his family, not when he wasn’t even sure what had happened in your apartment. Couldn’t start to comprehend the pain he had caused you and how much he hated himself for it.

So, without planning to, he ended up in the cabin.

The old wooden walls and ceiling greeted him, different from the ones he remembered from his past. Feyre had added drawings everywhere, there were clothes scattered around, and food that was still edible.

No matter how familiar the sight was, it offered him no comfort.

Azriel dragged his wings through the floor and sat on the couch. Propping his elbows on his knees, he hid his face as the first tear rolled down. Followed by many more.

He replayed your hurt voice once more, your face. It hadn’t been his intention to reject the bond, not really. But he hadn’t run away from it.

It took him two weeks of uncertainty to know that he hadn’t taken it the way you had. While you radiated with his scent, people didn’t ask him. He walked past Cassian during training and his friend just teased him for being disappeared for a month. Rhysand commented about having to report to him every now and then, and Amren didn’t even acknowledge his presence.

That was how he discovered that he had to accept his part of the mating process. He had to be proud, to want it, in order to complete it.

But you had been so happy, so full of joy and love, that Azriel had feared that telling you about it would make you sad. Eventually, he had learned how he should have done it – but at that moment, he didn’t know. Besides, he could still sneak whenever he wanted to without explanations. So he hadn’t said anything.

The first year rolled by, and he spent a good amount of days panicking about how to deal with the situation. The second year passed and you didn’t ask about it, neither did his family. By the fourth year, he had almost forgotten about it.

Azriel’s loud sob broke the silence of the cabin. His chest contracted and his body shock. It was different from any type of suffering, of pain, he had ever felt. He could still feel the echo of your own through the bond, could hear your cries in the distance.

In the lonely cabin, under the moon light, the shadowsinger sobbed and cried until his voice was raw. He was angry at himself, at his past and his traumas, even angry at you. Because now that he knew what it felt to be complete, to be happy and safe in someone’s love, he couldn’t bear the thought of not having it.

His body gravitated to the side and he curled himself in a ball, still in his underwear. It reminded him of when he was a kid and would try to hide himself in the dark cell, cowering in his fear and desperation.

As if he was a kid all over again, Azriel let his wings cover his body and cried. Cried until he couldn’t remember his name, until he was begging the Cauldron to turn back time and let him accept the bond. Carry you on his arm around Velaris and don’t let the fear take control of his life.

He felt like punching a hole through the wall. Like flying thousand feet up and letting go in free fall. Maybe get into a bar fight and let everything out. But his body was anchored to that couch, to that pain. Azriel pressed his closed fists into his chest, trying to relief some of the pressure.

While he wondered if that was what having his heart ripped from his chest fell, he forgot to keep his mental shields up.

Letting Rhysand in.

-

The house of wind had been chaos for a few hours.

Rhysand had tried to manage the situation by himself, wide awake in bed while processing Feyre’s words. He willed himself to sleep, to rest and leave the pondering for the morning. But when he tried to close his eyes, he could see Azriel covered in blood and killing an entire camp because an illegal wing clipping. He could notice the faint, new smell in the house that he hadn’t noticed.

If he had his eyes open, he couldn’t help but look at Nyx’s new toy.

So, Rhysand had woken up Cassian, after Azriel hadn’t answered his notes. And Cassian had been mad. Angry, furious, raging. The general had talked nonsense about berries for a while and then he begged Rhysand to wake up Feyre and find Azriel to interrogate them.

And, who was the high lord to deny a late-night gossiping session?

Feyre had been mad but she had told them that Azriel had a mate that worked in front of her art studio, in a bakery. That you were nice and cheerful, that you had been mated for six years.

That was when Cassian lost it and woke up the whole house.

Now, all the members of the inner circle had gathered in the council room with their pajamas on.

“Maybe it’s not true. Feyre, you might have had imagined it”

“Are you calling me a liar?” Feyre raised her eyebrows at Cassian.

“I’m just saying he would have told me! We’re brothers. And we don’t keep secrets in this house. Never.”

“You don’t keep secrets” Amren cut him off, not looking at him. “Your bean brain is too simple to keep any type of secrets from us, but that doesn’t mean all of us are exhibitionist”

“I’m not – “

“You are an exhibitionist. You announce everything, Cas. Even a fart” Mor corrected him before he could defend himself.

“Sorry for being kind enough to not keep secrets from my family” he frowned, turning to look at Rhys. “You keep secrets from me?”

“I don’t keep secrets from you” Rhys assured him, half a smile.

“He threw the sword you gifted Nyx for his birth and told you Bryaxis took it so you wouldn’t look for it”

Feyre looked at her mate with a raised eyebrow, daring him to say anything else. With a wide-awake Nyx in her arms, she looked at threatening as the Hybern army. She had yet to talk to him privately, but Rhysand knew he was up for a long talk. So he bit his lip and turned to Cassian. Who, of course, looked completely broken and defeated.

The rest of the group was silent, barely keeping their smiles to themselves. Even Nesta, who had a hand on his shoulder, was looking at Feyre with approval. Cassian stared at Rhysand for a long second before he talked.

“It was a nice sword”

“For a teenager, maybe. For a baby, not” Feyre answered again. “Weren’t you just talking about Azriel’s betrayal and secrets?”

“I, for one, knew he was hiding something” Amren commented for the third time. “Just saying I noticed. And you didn’t”

“Not all of us are creeps that stare and don’t talk. We have social lives to take care of” Mor said.

“Some of you do talk. Maybe too much”

Rhysand tuned out Amren and Mor argument when he felt a crack through Azriel’s mental barriers. He had been tugging at them softly to know where his brother was. Feyre had talked him out of the idea of barging in uninvited and demanding answers – at least, he had talked Amren and Mor out of it. Rhysand and Cassian were still unconvinced.

That was why he had kept a talon poking at his mental barriers since the argument started, thinking it wouldn’t be successful.

But then, Azriel opened it unconsciously and Rhysand brought a hand up to his chest.

Everyone fell quiet as the high lord scrunched his eyebrows and pressed his lips together, not ready for the wave of emotions and pain Azriel was feeling at the moment.

Feyre’s hand was instantly on him, Nyx looking up to his father with a pout that would surely turn into a crying session soon. Before the baby could start crying or any of his friends could ask him about it, Rhysand accepted Feyre’s help and got up from his chair.

“He’s at the cabin” he announced, already summoning his darkness to swallow Cassian and him there. “We’ll keep you updated”

Nyx’s loud cry was the last thing they heard as they winnowed away. And the first one they heard from the cabin, was Azriel’s broken one.

Want to read more? Check out my side blog @imaginesmaimasterlists, where I keep all the masterlists! Feedback is always appreciated

Right around the corner taglist:

@lesliemurillo @impossibelle @polli05927 @florencemtrash @going-through-shit @minakay @setayeshmohseni @torchbearerkyle @esposadomd @amysangel @kennedy-brooke @originalcrusadetrash @luvmoo @historygeekqueen @marriedtolike18fictionalmen @wallacewillow0773638 @tothestarsandwhateverend @kristalhi @knmendiola @nikt-wazny-y

[fieldofdaisiies]

Power Over Me

ship: Nyx x Reader type: I don't know, a bit angsty, a bit fluffy word count: 2k words warnings: none request: Hiii i just finished reading ur Nyx fic on wattpad now I have an obsession with the young lordling. I was wondering if you can make an angsty fic of him and reader where they had a fight and she doesn't talk to him and makes him grovel??

He is a fool. A big, big fool. Nyx knows this. He knows this so well. 

He sits on the railing of the balcony, wings spread wide behind his back as he balances, pondering over the biggest mistake he has ever made in his life — letting you go. 

A cool breeze blows through his hair and he brings a hand up to brush back his silken strands, before grabbing a hair tie and fixating them at the nape of his neck. You look more and more like Cassian, he can hear his mother's voice and a low, cold chuckle slips through his lips. 

Maybe he does, but Cassian wouldn't have messed up like this. 

This stupid fight — it was so useless, over something so stupid. His thoughts were a little too loud, and he started to worry that you can't stand the pressure of dating the High Lord's heir. He was so caught up in his thoughts that he did not even listen to you, did not even give you a chance to explain to him that it doesn't matter to you. And then you laughed and chatted with his best friend, Ran, and jealousy flooded the young heir. He thought you would like Ran more and that you would be so much better off with him. Everything, every stupid thought filled his brain, and he saw red and simply ended things with you. 

And well, now he has to pay the price. 

After your fight, you told him you don't ever want to have anything to do with him. The hurt just ran so deep, your emotions got the best of you and made you say this. 

You did not mean it, not really at least, but obviously Nyx now thinks he lost you forever. 

A groan parts his lips when the young lordling throws his head back, his eyes squeezed shut. 

"Let me guess, a girl is the reason behind your misery?"

Nyx whips his head to the side, eyes wide open. 

He didn't hear his father enter, nor did he hear him approach. But suddenly Rhysand, High Lord of the Night Court, stands next to him, hands braced on the railing onto which Nyx sits. 

Nyx closes his eyes and groans again. "So obvious?"

Rhysand chuckles lowly, then he clicks his tongue. "Very much, son." The High Lord turns his head, giving him son a sidelong glance. He just looks so much like Rhysand, the same eyes, the same colour of hair, the same stature, he only has Feyre's eyes, and her nose. And apparently he is trying to get the same hairstyle as his uncle. "This is about Y/N, I assume?" Rhysand asks when Nyx provides no further information. 

"You know about us?" 

For a moment Nyx worries his mental shields have been lowered too often and he has given everything he ever thought away. But his father's answer brings at least some comfort in this case. 

"The amount of times she has been here, how you looked at her and the way you talked about definitely gave you away." Rhysand chuckles again and finally Nyx turns to him as well, sadness glistening in his eyes when he searches his father's gaze. 

"She is amazing," Nyx mumbles. 

"She is." The High Lord nods, sympathy passing over his face. "And now I wonder what happened."

"I am a fool and I messed up?"

Rhysand raises a questioning brow. "Enlighten me, son."

"I let her go?" Nyx says, his voice rising at the end, almost like he is posing a question. 

Confusion passes over Rhysand's face and he watches his son closely. "Why?" he asks. "Did you do something to hurt her? Or did she do something to hurt you?"

"Yes." Nyx presses his lips in a thin line and lowers his chin to his chest, letting his head hang. 

"Yes, what?"

Another groan leaves the lordling, and he once again throws his head back in a dramatic manner. "I fucked up."

"Wording," Rhysand reprimands and gives his head a little shake. 

Nyx turns to him once again and rolls back his shoulder. "Sorry, father. I messed up. I broke up with her. I got jealous and I then I thought I was not good enough for her and I broke up with Y/N, not even listening to what she has to says and she…" His voice starts to quaver, but Nyx quickly bites down on the inside of his cheek — he won't cry now. 

"She said she never wanted to see me again."

"And you just gave up?" Rhysand leans forward a little, holding his son' gaze. He can see the young boy behind his grown-up demeanour. Deep inside, Nyx is still so very young, his little boy, and he will forever stay that. Rhysand brings his arm up to clasp Nyx's shoulder. "Your mother called me terrible names back then, threw a shoe at me—" "Y/N tossed pillow at me," Nyx says with a cold chuckle. "And then told me to get lost, but not in the nice wording I just used." A sad smile appears on his lips, and Rhysand squeezes his shoulder again. 

"You are going to fix this, Nyx. I know this. But you need to put some effort in it. Buy her something nice, show her that it was a mistake. Tell her—" "I tried!" Nyx blurts out and throws his hands up in despair. "I tried everything. I brought her flowers. I brought her chocolate. I knocked at her window at three in the morning. I told her she is amazing and I tried to make it up with her. But she does not even want to see me. She—" "Did you apologise?" Rhysand raises a brow. "Did you tell her that you are a massive fool for letting her go?"

Nyx doesn't answer, does not deny it either, which tells Rhys he hasn't. The young lordling only turns his head to side and stares straight forward at the Sidra river, his lips pressed in a thin line, eyes downcast, gaze empty. 

The High Lord tilts his head in a reproachful manner, and gives his son's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Well, I guess you now know what you have to do?"

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

And Nyx does know what he has to do. The moment the sun rises the next moment, he is one his feet, gathering the large bouquet of flowers his aunt Elain made for him, a box of little chocolate hearts in his other hand. He sets out, his wings carrying him over Velaris to the small house where you live with your family. 

Today he won't give up. Today he will make up with you. He is Nyx Archeron, first born son of Rhysand and Feyre, High Lord and Lady of the Night Court, and he won't give up. 

He will get you back and he will never let you go. 

Determination is etched upon his features when he Nyx slowly descends. His grips the bouquet and the box of chocolates in his hands, his heart beating so rapidly he can feel it in his throat, hammering against his ribcage. But it won't make him give up. 

This is a mission, a mission he will return from successful. With confident struts he nears your entrance door, shifts the bouquet and knocks. 

And then he waits, feeling how his hands turns clammy, how his heart beats even faster, his breathing quickens until—

The door opens slowly, and your beautiful eyes are the first thing he sees. 

"Y/N, I—" You slam the door in his face. Or rather you try to, but he is faster. He places his foot in the doorframe, stopping the door. "No, Y/N, you need to listen to me. You need to let me explain. Please, hear me out."

"Just like you listened to me?" With anger in your voice, you raise your brow at him, fingers curled around the door. "What do you want, Nyx? Ask me again if I am banging Ran behind your back? Tell me again that I am not good enough for the High Lord's son and should rather be with someone like Ran?"

"I never meant it like that. You are good enough for me. I am not good enough for you and I am huge fool."

You snort. "That is true. You are a big idiot." Slowly you grip on the door loosens, but you stand your ground, nothing kind or warm in your gaze. He hurt you and he should see what his words have done to you. 

"I know this, I am the biggest idiot ever for letting you go. I love you and I am sorry - for what I said, for what I assumed, for how I behaved."

"And you think a simple sorry is enough?" You raise your brow, hoping your discussion at the door does not draw your family's attention to you. They are all still asleep and really don't want them to wake up because you are fighting with the High Lord's son at the entrance door. So, you decide to step outside, closing the door behind you.

A glimmer of relief passes over Nyx's face, over you at least wanting to talk to him, being ready to listen to him. It is what he should have done. 

"No, I don't think so," he says, voice tinged with shame. He gives his head a little shake. "I know I have to fight hard to make it up to you, and I will fight hard for you. I am a born warrior and I won't give up like that."

"You are a born idiot, Nyx." You can't avoid the silly, little smile from appearing on your lips. 

Nyx has to chuckle a little as well, stepping a little closer to you. "I brought you chocolate and flowers." He reaches his hands forward. 

You don't accept immediately, you let him suffer for a second, and then hesitantly reach forward and take the things from his hands. Inhaling a deep breath, you lift your gaze to his. "It is a beginning and—Nyx, what are you doing?!"

The High Lord's son drops to his knees in front of you, staring up at you with a pout and pleading eyes. "I love you. I love you so much, and I am the biggest idiot Prythian has ever seen. Letting you go was the worst I could have ever done, and I hate myself every day for it."

"Nyx, Gods, get up please." You have to laugh a little as you try to urge him to get back up again. 

"Not until you forgive me." He pouts even more, brows laying in furrows. 

"Nyx," you say, shifting the bouquet, so you can reach a hand out and grab his arm.

But he shakes his head. "Nope. I am sorry. I never thought you would cheat on me, I just thought you being with me puts unnecessary burdens on you. Everyone in Velaris knows who I am, and they will be interested in you as well. People will question who you are, will want to know everything about you—"

"And I told you that I don't care. Or, I tried to tell you that I don't care." You now also take a step towards him. "I don't mind it. I wanted to be with you, and I don't care what other people think or want to know about me. I like you and I care about what you think, not random citizens from Velaris." 

You tilt your head to the side and look at him for a long moment. "If you promise me to never question my love for you, my loyaltiy and that I would never betray you, I will forgive you."

"Sure?" Nyx raises a brow. 

You nod and he finally gets back onto his feet, straightening up and rolling back his shoulders. "Also, to make it fully up to you, you are allowed to call me an idiot for the rest of our immortal life."

You grin, stepping into him so he can put his arms around you. "I would have done that anyway." You smile into his chest when a soft laugh leaves him and he embraces you tightly. "I love you so much and I missed you terribly."

[mxtantrights]

where you go, I go

a/n: okay so while I'm writing this whole series for azriel just know that I had this other recurring dream about a plot like this. I couldn't really make it a fully fleshed out story with a happy ending so I decided to type it all out and make it a one-shot with angst and not a lot of comfort (this is your warning, this doesn't end happily) anyways with all of that said, if you decide to read this please enjoy and tell me what you think! <333 also happy valentines day <333

azriel x assassin!fem!reader

5.1k words

The day court was home to many things. Vibrant colors, warm waters, ancient books and of course the very ancient and magical day blade. It's your job to know where that this is at all times.

You can't possibly understand why the shadow singer would try to steal it. Try being the operative word here. While you did sense him enter your court and break into the room where the blade was, it wouldn't have mattered.

Seeing as it is your job to protect the blade at all costs, it never leaves your sight. But that didn't mean you couldn't have fun with those who wanted so badly to get it.

In your pocket you feel a piece of paper appearing suddenly. You reach inside and unfold it. It's Helion. He's requesting your presence. You smile to yourself, this would be fun.

You leave your hiding place, the palace had many hidden rooms and hallways, and walk over to Helion's day room. As you approach from the hallway you can hear multiple conversations being had.

The door is closed so you open it slightly.

"There she is! Come in and greet my guests!" he says happily.

You make sure you face is kept neutral. You had an image to upkeep in this court.

The people respect you and fear you in the same breath. You don't go around killing people but you do often get justice in ways that aren't in the parameters of the law. Whether that be stringing up robbers and looters from their pants, or burning down the houses of dirty criminals.

You keep your eyes straight, not looking any of his guests in the eye. You walk until you are standing behind Helion who sits in his usual seat.

"I was just telling Feyre that I enjoy the new company. This is the inner circle." he says to you.

You nod once.

"She doesn't talk?" Nesta asks.

You know all of them. It's your duty to know The Who's who of the courts. The inner circle of the night court. High Lord Rhysand and High Lady Feyre-Curse breaker. Her sisters Elaine and Nesta. Rhysand's brothers Cassian and Azriel. Morrigan, past fiancee of Eris Vanserra. Amren, a mythical creature of serious power.

Helion laughs at Nesta's question. He knows you talk. He knows you very well, seeing as he practically raised you. But that information isn't public knowledge.

"She does, but not when theres something wrong." Helion answers.

You look at all of them now. How the girl closest to the shadow singer, Elaine, looks worried. And it's quick, you almost don't catch it, but you're so good at your job at this point.

"Trouble in the day court?" Rhysand says.

You lean over and whisper into Helion's ear about the blade. How the shadow singer came here to steal it, on a mission from his high lord. How he thinks he got away with it.

The room goes quiet as you pull back and Helion sits back in his chair. He loves the dramatics you pull off every single time someone tries to take the blade. The last person you caught was really delighted to be drowned in glitter, confetti and manure.

"Is there something you're forgetting?" Helion asks.

Rhysand looks at his inner circle with an incredulous smile. Then he looks to you, no doubt trying to read your mind. You can't imagine this will go over well either.

You can't feel it. The daemati powers that certain fae have don't work on you. You're not really sure why. Might have something to do with your unknown lineage. Or your overall hardheadedness-so Helion says.

Rhysand cocks his head to the side at your unmoving posture. He's still looking at you. You however are taking in the shadow singer. He's sitting there, not bothering to look at anyone. He must really think he got the blade.

"What would that be?" Feyre asks this time.

"Well, when you want something that another has you usually ask." Helion says.

At that everyone at the table grows grim. Caught red handed is what it seems like. You still manage to hide you smile though.

"Helion..." Rhysand starts.

"If you were anyone else I would have you locked up already. But lucky for me my security system is top notch." Helion smiles and grabs his glass for another sip of what could only be wine.

At his words the shadow singer now looks at the high lord. Your high lord. His face bares no emotion, like he can't afford to give a way a secret or smile.

You've heard about his reputation. But at this point that's all it is. He couldn't even steal from you correctly. This has to be the most interesting thing that's happened this year. You don't get around to much outsider business, you tend to stay out of it.

"I don't think it is." the shadow singer says.

Helion stifles a laugh. But you can hear it. And you know if you can hear it they all can. The room is big but not big enough that guests at a table can't hear things.

"Care to relieve them of their misery?" he looks up to you and asks.

You didn't really want to. But then again you'd have to play nice with them. Helion seems to like this group. Or most likely, his son is friends with this group and he wants to be friends with his son.

You sigh, "Take out the blade."

You watch in amusement as everyone at the table looks at each other. As if they all don't know what they really came here for. The shadow singer though, he's different. He's looking right at you.

His shadows materialize the blade right on the table for everyone to see. Cassian, gives him a look. But Azriel doesn't seem to see it or care.

"That's not the blade." Helion quips.

You call the blade to you with your powers. Being gifted with the ability to control sun made objects is fun most of the time. Most living things are sun made in a sense. So really you could control all things, to a certain extent.

The blade comes flying into your hand. As soon as it makes contact with your skin it transforms. The metal of the blade turns into a vibrant green stem. And the helm turns into the face of a sunflower.

Azriel seems to go through a range of emotions. First confusion. Then understanding. And then the last one, well you can't actually pin down the last one. You've gotten good at reading people but he's harder than others.

"The blade is safe in the day court, where it will remain until you ask for it." Helion says.

Rhysand lets of a breath, "I am sorry about lying, but we're short on time."

"And I thought our alliance was stronger than that. I am sorry too." Helion replies.

Helion stands from his seat, causing the others to match his actions. The sound of chairs on marble floors reaches your ears. You take a step back and cross your hands behind your back.

"We need the blade for a mission." Feyre speaks.

"It could be a simple mission or the end of the world. The fact that you have no respect to ask me tells me everything I need to know." Helion says casually.

You know that he is hurt by their lying. It's not deep, but it's there. He thought he could trust them. He thought because they had good relations with him before that they were better than the actions they are displaying right now.

Of course you know of the good bond between them. Which is why you don't understand why they didn't just ask. Unless there is a well justified reason. Why not ask the high lord for the blade unless he was implicated somehow.

How could Helion be implicated in a mission from the night court. He doesn't know anything, or he would have offered them the blade himself. No this is something he's not at the center of. But it still concerns him.

Lucien. You look at the guests around the room. He is no where to be found. True he's not part of the inner circle. He's an emissary. But if it was something the inner circle could simply ask Helion for, why not butter him up with his son?

Lucien may or may not know what going on.

"Where's Lucien?" you ask.

At you question all of the heads move to you. Right, you hadn't spoken to them this whole time. Well you weren't going to give them a smile and greet them kindly.

"What business do you have with him?" Nesta asks.

"He's in Spring. Managing relations." Rhysand answers.

You nod your head. Spring. If that answer can even be trusted. Let's say you do trust it for the moment.

The inner circle needs the day blade. They didn't want to ask for it. They didn't let Lucien come.

"Were you planning on returning it?" you ask again.

Nesta, rolls her eyes at your question. You can't help the giddiness you feel of getting under her skin. You hardly did anything to warrant it. But it felt kind of good.

"As soon as we were done." Azriel answers this time.

You don't ignore the stress he puts not he word soon. You also don't ignore the way his eyes seem to never leave yours.

"That blade is our most powerful weapon. We don't just give it out to anyone." Helion chimes in.

He maneuvers around his chair and stands behind you. When he grips both of your shoulders with his hands, you can tell he's smiling even if you can't see him.

"But I will let you use it," Helion continues, "on one condition."

"Go ahead." Rhysand says.

"Wherever the blade goes, she goes." Helion says.

"That won't be necessary." Nesta says.

At the same time Cassian says, "That's odd."

Helion shrugs his shoulders and lets go of you. He leans into your ear to whisper his next words very carefully. When you understand him and what he wants, you nod your head only once.

He grabs the sunflower from your hands as you uncross them from behind you. Helion stands next to you now. You watch as Helion brings the flower up to his nose and gives it a sniff.

"We agree to those terms." Azriel speaks up.

"Woah hold on-" Rhysand tries to cut in.

"Great. I think this will be beneficial to both courts." your high lord agrees.

You turn to face him now, your back towards the guests. Helion was looking at you with a very faint smile. You heard every word he whispered to you. And you understand the reason why: Family.

What you don't get it is why he won't just speak to Lucien himself. Why play nice with a high lord that knows his son when he can just reach out to him? Invite him to the day court or send him a letter.

Everyone in this room knows Lucien is Helion's son, except Lucien. And now your mission is to tell him so that he might finally have a true place to call home.

Helion wouldn't so easily agree to lending out the blade like this if it weren't for Lucien. And the night court wouldn't try to steal it if Lucien did know, because he could just ask on their behalf.

Your shoulders sag at the thought. You had no interactions with Lucien. You only ever heard of him from Helion and he only started referring to him as his son a couple of months ago.

It'll be you. You'll be the one to see him, come eye to eye to him, and tell him the truth.

You can see it in his eyes. The sadness. You'd do anything for him. He's a father figure to you. And you'll see this through, for his sake and Lucien's too.

"Promise me you'll smile a little bit during your trip." Helion says.

"The Sun Wraith doesn't smile." you answer.

"You're the Sun Wraith?" Cassian's voice asks.

You turn around and face the general. It's all over his face. The look of shock. It wasn't hard to become something of a legend in this court and the ones surrounding it.

"Even people in the night court are scared of you." Nesta says.

On her face seems to be another emotion. Not fear. Not shock. Something lighter amongst the surface. Admiration maybe? You aren't too sure.

"I'll grab my things." you say to no one in particular.

"And the blade." Azriel's voice sounds.

"I never go anywhere without it." you say, reaching behind you.

Grabbing the flaps of your yellow vest you flip it over and your hand wraps around the hilt of the blade. You pull it out for all of them to see.

"Best security in all of the courts." Helion jokes.

-

THREE WEEKS LATER

The mission has barely begun and you hate it here. You hate it in the night court. The days are shorter and you feel pale without even looking into a mirror most days. Nothing beats the sun of the day court on your skin.

Amren had told you it would get better. After your first meeting she had taken a liking to you. You were told by several members in the inner court that it was no easy feat. She talked to you the most out of everyone.

Second to her, came Nesta who was just curious about the things you allegedly did or did not do. You held off on telling her anything too juicy. It was funny toying with her with the details. She also likes your fighting style. Morrigan too.

Azriel talks to you. Sometimes. He's friendly to a point. Cassian is more friendlier than him but you're starting to understand it's just in his nature. Feyre and Rhysand are cordial. Elaine is, well you've been told that she's nice but you haven't really seen it. She greets you but that's it.

The inner circle didn't get on your nerves. But you also had your own mission. Deliver the news to Lucien that Beron isn't his father, Helion is.

Which is why though this whirlwind of a mission you're laying down on path of grass outside of the House of Wind. Weird. What was even weirder was the fact that Velaris, a secret city inside of the night court, has existed for so long with no one none the wiser.

You squeeze your eyes shut. Trying to turn your brain off. It wasn't working. The sun wasn't the same, it does't feel the same. You can't call off this mission either.

"Is this what you do in the day court?"

You'd know that voice anywhere. Which is weird to say as you've known the male for a couple of weeks now. But it's true. Azriel's voice was distinguishable from others. A bit low, but still soft. Clear.

"Yes." you answer.

"Is that all the explanation you can give me?"

"Yes."

You think he'll go away. He plays nice because you have the blade. He needs the blade, which means he needs you. Once he no loner needs the blade he won't need you.

When you hear the sound of him getting closer you want so badly to open your eyes. But you don't. You keep them closed. As much as you want to open them and see what he's doing.

The sound of him laying down beside you on the grass is one you weren't expecting. Also the feeling of soft cold tendrils nipping at your arm.

"It feels...nice. A bit cold." he speaks.

Of course he'd complain about he cold. Nesta had told you that Illyrians were whiny babies. You'd seen it personally when Cassian couldn't get a certain dish because there were no more potatoes for the day.

And now here his brother is. Complaining.

You hold up your left hand, the one close to him.

"Give me your hand." you command.

You half expect him to decline. To maybe even get up and leave. Or maybe say that he doesn't mind the cold. The other half of you expects him to just listen you-to see where it goes.

He takes your hand. You focus on letting the additional warmth you normally feel from the sun flow from your hand and into his.

Out of all the things you half expect and do expect, his laugh is something you don't plan for. It's deep. It comes from his core. It's gentle too. Which you wouldn't get just from looking at him.

"It's warm." he says.

"That's how the sun feels in the day court." you answer.

"I think you just spoke more than three words to me."

You scoff, "Don't get used to it."

"That was four words."

"Shut up."

"Two. We're regressing."

"Azriel."

"I'll be quiet now."

This is how you spend your time. If you are not training with Morrigan, Amren and Nesta. Or not eating with Cassian in the kitchen. You are laying out on the grass with Azriel in the sun.

It happens more times than you care to admit as the mission goes on.

-

ONE MONTH LATER

This place, Velaris, was starting to grow on you. You didn't want to admit that out loud, or in your letters to Helion. Or how well you were gettign on with Azriel. The trips into the city, the lingering glances and words with hidden layers.

You letters should only have on subject, Lucien.

He has been back from the spring court for two weeks now. You've taken that time to get to know him. You couldn't fathom unleashing the truth on him as a stranger. You don't need to be his friend. But he needs to at least trust the words coming out of your mouth when you say them.

Family dinner they called it. Even though only three of them were related to each other. But you guess that what makes their family unique. They choose each other, every day.

This meal was special. Seeing as you had finished the mission that Helion sent you on to protect the blade. There was a fae that needed to be tracked down and would only come out of hiding if he could see the sun blade.

Of course you didn't let him, but you did convince him that the fake blade you passed onto him was the real thing. When he found it wasn't after he revealed his intentions with it he got angry.

Angry enough to rain hellfire down on both you and Azriel. If it weren't for your fast thinking and powers you both wouldn't have made it out in one piece.

Now you're sat with the inner circle to celebrate your feat.

Someone clears their throat. This drags your gaze from the redheaded male to the dark haired one. The both of them were sitting in front of you.

How the mother is cruel and precious at the same time. One male is your mission which you planned for. The other male you didn't plan for, and yet...

"Az was asking if you miss home." Morrigan says from your side.

"Dearly. But its not bad here." You speak, not quite realizing what you just did.

You watch as Azriel's smile grows and grows on is lips. It hits you then.

"Wipe that smile off your face before I take it back." you say to him.

"No I don't think I will." he jokes.

You shake your head with a light laugh. You can pick up on his laugh too from across the table.

"Well if it means anything, you fit in well here." Amren speaks up.

Everyone at the table quiets down at that. You look over at her, peering around Morrigan. You nod once at the sentiment.

"You need to tell him." Elaine says suddenly.

You look to her sharply. She's gotten better about speaking to you. More than a greeting but still less than a conversation. It does weird you out some times but you let it go for the most part.

"Oh?" you ask rhetorically.

"Elaine I don't think we should discuss this here." Feyre starts.

"He needs to know." Elaine says again.

It upsets you. She is his mate. She is the one connected to him. She has known this secret longer than you. But you'll be the one to tell him? She doesn't want to get her hands dirty. None of them do.

"What do I need to know?" Lucien asks all of a sudden.

You look to him. Hoping nothin is being given away by your face. When no one answers him he scoffs lightly to himself and looks around at the table.

This is happening now.

"It's obviously about me, none of you can look me in the eye except for her." Lucien continues.

"I can tell you, in private." you offer.

He nods his head and gets up from his seat. You follow his lead and get up too. The two of you walk out of the dining room and onto the balcony. You pull the door close behind you.

"Before you say anything, do they all know about this?" he asks.

He can't be asking about Elaine. She's the whole reason you're having this conversation right now. No, he's talking about Feyre. His friend. Or who he thought was his friend.

What can be left of a friendship after a lie like this?

"Yes." you answer simply.

Lucien shakes his head, "Okay, you can tell me now."

You take him in. The tense shoulders. The bowed head. His hair is perfectly combed behind his back. In this light, he looks like Helion. Not too much, but just enough.

How do you up end someone's life?

"Lucien do you ever think about what it felt like growing up with Beron as your father?" you ask.

Lucien looks at you sharply, "It was unspeakable. I wouldn't wish that life on anyone."

"And it shouldn't have been yours either." you reply.

His brows furrow. Right in the middle like they want to meet so badly. You wonder if he's felt like an outsider before. If he's ever felt it amongst his brothers. The black sheep.

"When my mission is over here, do you think you could come back with me to the day court?" you ask softly.

His face goes from confusion to somewhat understanding. But you haven't told him enough for him to completely get what you're saying, what you're asking of him.

"A couple of times Eris tried to make me visit the day court." Lucien admits.

You nod your head at that. Of course. Ever the perfect actor. You knew him for a little slice of time in your life. A period in which you won't ever forget. He was your first kiss. You were young and kids, trying to figure out your own way in life.

Kissing Eris, the treacherous fox of the autumn court, was every bit exciting at your age. You gossiped, and word got around. But he didn't deny it. For all the lies and manipulation he pulled you thought he might say you were delusional, that you had made it all up. But he backed you claim.

Eris knew Lucien wasn't Beron's son. Eris probably protected him as best he could. In his own, Eris way. Whatever that means.

"You can invite him too." you say.

Lucien looks past you. No doubt at the inner circle lingering inside. If you were in his position you wouldn't even go back in there. You'd never talk to any of them again.

"I'll take my leave now, but thank you. For being honest." he says.

You give him a small smile, "To be clear I was to tell you the news in a gentle manner. What just happened was out of my hands."

"I get it. I'll see you around." he says.

You bid him goodbye. Then he's walking past you. You hear the door open and how voices inside seem to call his name. You don't hear him respond to any of them. You hear the front door slam.

With a breath you turn around and head back inside too. When you do everyone is looking right at you. It unnerves you. You hate it.

"I've done your dirty work now. I think I'll call it a night." you speak.

"He didn't deserve to find out like that." Feyre says.

"You're right, he deserved honesty from his friends." you retort.

"You were sent here to tell him the truth. Am I wrong?" Rhysand asks.

You turn to face him clearly. You can't believe he just said that. You cannot believe he formed the words with his mouth to say that to you.

Without saying another word you walk right out of the dinning room. You ignore Nesta and Amren calling out to you. And you ignore the shadow that walks with you right out of the room and into he hallway.

As soon as you get inside of your guest room the shadow disappears.

SUNRISE, THE NEXT DAY

You're skip training and packing for home instead. You wish you could pack faster but that isn’t possible. You don’t want to be here for another second. Not in this court, not among the inner circle.

When you throw in your last few shirts into the luggage a knock raps on the door. You don’t know who it is, but if it is Rhysand or Elaine you won’t open the door.

“Who is it?” You ask.

“It's me, can you open up?”

You go over to the door and open it. Standing there on the threshold is Azriel.

“I’ll be leaving soon.” You say.

His eyes seem to widen at that. You watch as he peers over you and takes in the bareness of the room, and the packed luggage. He straightens himself out.

“Why so soon? It feels like you just got here.” He replies. 

Based on his words alone he doesn’t want you to leave. You can feel it too. How it’s only been a month or so but the two of you are comfortable around each other. 

You sigh, “The mission is over.”

“And we’re back to this? Four word sentences?” He asks.

“Azriel.”

He looks down both sides of the hallway. His head turning left then right. Then he’s turning back to you. He looks nervous. Antsy. He doesn’t normally look that way. He’s usually so composed. 

He takes you by surprise. He side steps into the room and closes the door behind him. At that you know your eyes go wide. He holds up his hands in defense.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry for that but I just—are you mad at me?” He asks.

You scoff, “Yes I am.”

“Okay I knew that, but I was also confused because on that mission you saved my life.”

“Hardly.” You answer simply.

He groans at your one word answer, “You made sure those arrows didn’t plant themselves in my wings. You made sure I was safe.”

“It was nothing.” 

“No it was something.” 

You’re catching on now to how tense he is. Tense or nervous you can’t tell. His eyes are frantic. His breathing is also uneven. And his shadows are fully out on display now.

You do the one thing you can think of. You reach out for his hand. He doesn’t even seem to notice it. When you make contact he looks you in the eye. “Please calm down.” You whisper.

He bows his head, his hair covering his face now. All of a sudden he sinks to his knees. The action catches you completely off guard. 

“I’m sorry.” He says again.

You focus on sending him warmth from your hand. In a second you can see his shoulders begin to shake. From this angle you can’t tell just yet if it’s what you think it is. 

So you bring your free hand to the side of his face. You feel it. In the palm of your hand you feel his wet cheek. He’s crying. Azriel the shadow singer is crying, on his knees in front of you.

“I could have died and for the first time in a very long time I felt this deep regret in the bottom of my belly.” He chokes out.

What would he have to regret? 

Slowly you drag you hand down his cheek. You place your pointer finger under his chin. Titling his head up, you meet his eyes. From this close you hadn’t realize how many shades of brown they hold.

“Azriel, you’re okay. I promise you you’re okay.” You whisper.

He shuts his eyes, more tears flowing down his face now. 

“I don’t think I will be.” He admits.

“Why?” You ask.

He opens his eyes again. 

“Because you hate us now, you’ll never come back here.” He answers.

In a sense he was right. Not totally. You didn’t hate the inner circle. You just couldn’t stand what they did last night. How they acted, how none of them would fess up. Even though some of them had known Lucien for a long time.

But you didn’t hate them. You didn’t hate him.

“I don’t hate you.” You reply.

“I could see it on your face last night. And now, you’re leaving so quickly. You want nothing to do with us.” He adds on.

There’s silence between the two of you. The emotions Azriel is feeling right now feel heavy. Way too heavy for someone he’s only spent about two months with. 

You had heard many rumors about him. But him being like this, wearing his heart on his sleeve like this? You don’t think you could have ever imagined it.

Remembering that he’s waiting for you to answer, you remember to speak.

“Yes I’m upset and I want to go home. But that doesn’t mean I never want to see you again. Azriel I really enjoyed my time with you.” You speak.

You don’t realize it but your hand is stroking his now. 

He gives you a look you can’t figure out, “Why does it feel like that time is over already? Like I’ll never see you again?” 

He reaches up and places your hand on his cheek again. You don’t emit the warmth from there but he nuzzles into your hand like you are. His thumb rubs back and forth on the back of your hand there.

“You talk like everything is set in stone. Like there is only one path.” You say.

“I can just, sense it.” He explains barely.

You shake you head, “Azriel I was always going to leave.”

“Not like this. Last night changed everything.” He says, but it comes out more like a whisper.

“Get up.” 

He looks at you, a bit of shock. You watch as he follows your command and gets back on his feet. He keeps your hand pressed to his face the whole time. Your other hand falls to your side.

“You can come visit me.” You say.

He’s silent. Silent but he nods his head at your words. You’re not sure if he believes you fully. But it’s enough. He wipes the tears from his face. His wings perk up, off the floor now.

You wrap your arms around his body before you can think against it. Instantly you feel his arms around you. Pulling you closer. He rests his head on top of yours. It feels right. It feels natural. No, it feels like something else too.

It feels the exact same way the sunlight in the day court feels on your skin. Like it is meant to be.

part two here!

[thrumbolt]

Top 5 most annoying Tamlin scene misinterpretations

1. ''There is no such thing as a high lady'' I hate this one, because it is always taken as some sort of proof that Tamlin is a raging misogynist who doesn't want an equal woman by his side or some similar type of nonsense. I don't know where this is coming from. Tamlin never wanted to be a high lord. He would probably welcome for someone to take over most of the work so he could just keep running through the woods. He also has absolutely no issues with taking advice from women in power (Ianthe? Hello??). His first reaction to the high lady question is literally this:

“Is everyone just going to call me ‘Tamlin’s wife’? Do I get a … title?” He lifted his head long enough to look at me. “Do you want a title?”

And let's not forget that Feyre's first reply is ''No, I don’t know if I can handle them calling me High Lady”. To which he then answers that she doesn't have to worry about that, since ''there is no such thing as a high lady'' because the magic choses the title and it keeps chosing males. Also this whole scene happens while he eats her out. Not that it's relevant or anything, just saying...

2. ''Tamlin killed Rhys' family'' No. Tamlin's dad killed Rhys' family. I have no idea how Tamlin doing it is ever the takeaway from that whole story. Let's just quote the actual scene:

“Tamlin’s father, brothers, and Tamlin himself set out into the Illyrian wilderness, having heard from Tamlin—from me—where my mother and sister would be, that I had plans to see them. I was supposed to be there. I wasn’t. And they slaughtered my mother and sister anyway.”

Yeah okay, Tamlin gave the information (supposedly) and was there (supposedly) sure, but it's highly unlikely that he was so willingly. Let's not forget that it's established that Tamlin was afraid of his father, that Tamlin's father is worse than Beron (who, I might remind you, tortures his sons) and that Tamlin was friends with Rhys at the time - which neither family approved of. Even Rhys doesn't actually believe Tamlin did anything besides being spineless:

''I didn’t care that Tamlin had been there, had allowed them to kill my mother and sister, that he’d come to kill me because he didn’t want to risk standing against them.''

In the end we don't know the details. Tamlin could've been tortured and tied up or whatever. Making him watch could've been a cruel form of punishment for being friends with Rhys. We don't really know until SJM graces us with Tamlin's side of the story.

3. ''It's really Tamlin's own fault that the spring court fell'' Alternatively also phrased as: 'Feyre just opened everyone's eyes to Tamlin's incompetence' and....honestly? This low key makes me question the reading comprehension of people.

Yes, Tamlin made a deal with Hybern, which was extremely risky, but the war was coming regardless (as we learn from Rhys in the first half of ACOMAF) and the spring court would be the main target because of its location next to the wall. Inviting Hybern into his lands in a trade is actually a pretty smart way to avoid a lot of death on Tamlin's part - plus he needed help to rescue Feyre and get her out of the deal she had with Rhysand (people forget that Tamlin didn't know Feyre didn't actually need rescuing from the guy that was abusing her in front of him in ACOTAR).

So yeah anyway, Feyre did several things to make the spring court fall: 1. She manipulated the solstice ceremony to make herself seem cauldron-blessed in the eyes of the people, 2. She made a sentry accuse Ianthe (who WAS doing sneaky shit) which essentially did nothing except putting Tamlin on the spot in front of Hybern, so he was kind of forced to throw the sentry under the bus. Good job Feyre, you got a poor sod whipped! But it also built resentment within the soldiers, which was her plan all along and 3. before leaving, she did this (let's just quote the whole thing):

''I had a people who had lost faith in their High Priestess. I had sentries who were beginning to rebel against their High Lord. And as a result of those things, I had Hybern royals doubting the strength of their allies here. I’d primed this court to fall. Not from outside forces—but its own internal warring. And I had to be clear of it before it happened. Before the last sliver of my plan fell into place. The party would return without me. And to maintain that illusion of strength, Tamlin and Ianthe would lie about it—where I’d gone. And perhaps a day or two after that, one of these sentries would reveal the news, a carefully sprung trap that I’d coiled into his mind like one of my snares. I’d fled for my life—after being nearly killed by the Hybern prince and princess. I’d planted images in his head of my brutalized body, the markings consistent with what Dagdan and Brannagh had already revealed to be their style. He’d describe them in detail—describe how he helped me get away before it was too late. How I ran for my life when Tamlin and Ianthe refused to intervene, to risk their alliance with Hybern. And when the sentry revealed the truth, no longer able to stomach keeping quiet when he saw how my sorry fate was concealed by Tamlin and Ianthe, just as Tamlin had sided with Ianthe the day he’d flogged that sentry …When he described what Hybern had done to me, their Cursebreaker, their newly anointed Cauldron-blessed, before I’d fled for my life … There would be no further alliance. For there would be no sentry or denizen of this court who would stand with Tamlin or Ianthe after this. After me.''

So, the sentries left Tamlin because of a lie. A fake story. Without sentries, Hybern decided to take over rather than just be guests and had a prime spot to attack the summer court in turn. Which is also why Tarquin is extremely pissed at Feyre - not Tamlin. So no, Tamlin wasn't a bad high lord. His only real mistake was ever trusting Feyre.

Sure, some argue that Feyre thought Tamlin genuinely sided with Hybern and might be a threat to the rest of Prythian, so taking him down would make sense for her even outside of petty revenge. But there's just one problem with that: Feyre is a mind reader. She could have just.....checked. lol

4. ''Tamlin didn't do anything Under the Mountain'' This one really gets my goat because it's not really true? Things Tamlin did to help Feyre: 1. He sent her away to the human realm. (People forget this, but he basically doomed his court to protect her ass - it's not his fault she came back!) 2. He made Lucien check up on her. (Yes Lucien was Feyre's friend but he still acted under Tamlin's orders!) 3. He ignored Feyre as to not rile Amarantha up even more (Come on, have you seen Amarantha? It totally makes sense) 4. He tries to get to Feyre, begging Amarantha to stop even as he is tied up, bleeding out from a stab wound to his chest that he can't heal because he has no powers - like what do you want him to do??? 4. He literally kills Amarantha the second he is able to

Also personal conspiracy detour: That music that Rhysand supposedly sent to Feyre was SO originally supposed to be Tamlin, you can't convince me otherwise. I will never not believe that this wasn't just a lazily done quick change when SJM rewrote book 1 and 2 to account for the boyfriend switcheroo. Attributing the music to Rhys makes absolutely zero sense. He's not a musical boy at all, come on! Music themes never come up with him again either! Meanwhile Tamlin played for Feyre before, is generally a musical guy COME ON! /conspiracy detour over

5. ''It's Tamlin's fault that Nesta and Elaine got turned to fae'' No. No it's not. He knew nothing about this. Ianthe did this on her own accord because Feyre told her where her sister's lived. Tamlin actually attacks (!) the King of Hybern over it (to no avail, but still).

Some people blame Tamlin for keeping Ianthe around afterwards, despite of what she did. Those people I want to refer to point number 3 in this list. Ianthe was working with Hybern. Tamlin tried to be buddies with Hybern for reasons. No, he can't just throw out Ianthe.

[invisible-lint]

Everything Could Be Okay: Chapter 4

Rhys x Tamlin's sister!reader

Summary: You tell Feyre about the bond and come up with an idea

Warnings: none

Word Count: 2.1k

Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

You're surprised your pacing hasn't worn a hole in the floor. You had finished your bath and dressed. Eaten the food that had been brought in for you, and even braided your hair. But you couldn't convince yourself to leave the relative safety of this room. Because you knew yourself and you knew that you wouldn't be delicate about it. No, the moment you see Feyre, you're going to just blurt it all out. And you're not sure how she’ll react. You love her as if she were actually your sister. Some days, you feel as if you may love her more than your brother. You're not sure you could stand it if she hated you.  So here you are, pacing like a coward. You suppose you should just do it. A wound doesn’t hurt any less if you know it’s coming. 

You wipe your hands on the pants of the night court attire, trying not to squirm. It was the first time you had ever worn pants and you weren't sure how you felt about the way the material gathered between your legs. It'd have to do for now, there weren't any dresses in the wardrobe. 

You finally force yourself to leave the bedroom, heading for the library. You linger outside for a moment before taking a breath and walking in over to where Feyre sits. You pull the chair out and sit across from her, but the moment she looks up from the paper and sets the quill down, your nerves get the best of you, and you stand back up, starting to pace again. Feyre watches you, curious.

“What is it?”

“Rhys. Rhysand is my mate.” You pick at the cuff of the shirt.

“Oh. Does that mean you're going to stay here?”

“No. I'll still go back to Spring with you when it's time.” You look at her, trying to gauge her reaction, but her face is blank, expressionless. 

“Why?”

“Because I don't want you to have to deal with the fallout by yourself. And because I don't want to leave you there alone.”

“I wouldn't be alone. I have Tamlin.” 

“Feyre…” You barely manage to hold back a sigh. 

“What?” 

“Do you want to marry him?” You reach for her hand, trying to offer comfort, but she pulls her hand away, anger dancing across her features. 

“Why do you keep asking me that?” 

“Because I don't think you do.” 

“I think you should stay here.”

You bite the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from flinching, uncertain why the words hurt so much. “Why do you think that?” 

“Because you're miserable there. That's why you think I don't want to marry Tamlin. Because you're worried about me ending up like you. But I won't. Because I love him and he loves me.” You do flinch that time. Were you truly so miserable that everyone knew it? You had thought you had done a good job hiding it around Feyre at the very least, and the realization makes guilt sink in your stomach like lead. 

“Is that enough for you? Is the life he will allow you enough? Planning parties and birthing heirs?” 

“Do you think your life here will be anything different?” Her words sting. Rhys was nothing like Tamlin. 

“That’s not the point, Feyre.” You press your palms against your legs, breathing deep, to try to keep your temper at bay. 

“No? What is the point then?” Feyre crosses her arms, her gaze hard. 

“You're already miserable in Spring, but you're not trapped. At least not yet. That doesn't have to be your life.” You sit down across from her, trying to soften your gaze, eyes pleading.

“You're not trapped if you want to be there. I just… I just need the mating bond to snap and then everything will be better.” 

You nod, chewing your lip, reaching for her hand again. She uncrosses her arms, letting you take it this time. An olive branch, you suppose. 

“You think you're mates?”

She nods. “I do.” 

You force a smile. “Well, now I understand why you got so defensive when I suggested you didn't want to marry him. I'm sorry, Feyre.”

She smiles back. “So am I. I could have told you. So… Rhys is your mate? How do you feel about that?”

You blow out a breath, slumping in the chair. “I… Need some time to wrap my head around it.” 

She nods. “Because of your family?”

You manage to hold back a grimace. Of course Tamlin told her about that. You're sure he left out the part that made him look bad. The reason why Rhys and the previous High Lord had killed your family. 

“Not really. I spent more time in close proximity to our family than Tamlin did. Aside from our mother… They were not good males. They deserved what happened to them.” You notice the way Feyre's eyes widen in surprise. She looks like she has more questions she wants to ask, but you keep talking. “No, I'm not quite ready to move on yet. I need a little more time.” She pulls her hand away, guilt shadowing her face. You can see it as she retreats into herself. You stand from your chair, walking around the table to kneel in front of her, taking both of her hands in yours. 

“I will never, ever, blame you Feyre. You never have and never will be to blame for what I lost. I wish you could have come into our lives another way, because you have become like a sister to me and I am so glad that I have gotten to know you.” 

You're both tearing up, but Feyre is smiling, and you do too. 

“You've become like a sister to me too. Can I ask you something?” 

You nod. “Of course, anything.” 

“Would Andras want you to be miserable? Or would he want you to move on?” 

You stare at her not saying anything, but your silence must answer for you, because she nods, squeezing your hands.

“That's why you should stay. So you can move on, because I don't think you can in Spring.” 

“I’ll find a way. But I want to come up with something that keeps Tamlin from wrecking too much furniture.” 

Feyre rolls her eyes, shaking her head, but the smile is still on her face. You stand, letting go of her hands. “I'll let you get back to your letter practice. I found a music room with a piano in it and Rhys said he would get me new music to learn! It's been so long since I've had new music!” 

The guilt that had been gripping Feyre's chest tight ever since she had become your friend, your sister, loosens itself at the way your eyes light up with excitement. 

“I'll have to find you later so I can listen.” 

You smile, squeezing her shoulder as you leave, finding your way back to the music room, just in time to see Rhys laying a packet of music on the piano bench. He turns to look at you when you enter, smiling at the smile on your face. 

“I take it your conversation with Feyre went well then?” 

“It did. We both lost our tempers, said some unkind things, but we also said things that the other needed to hear. She thinks I should stay.” 

He raises an eyebrow. “And what do you think?” 

“I think she's right. I'll never be able to move on as long as I'm still in Spring. There are too many memories there, too many reminders. And I know it's what Andras would want. I know that if the bond had snapped while he was alive, he would have been cautious. Probably would have insisted on being here with me, but he would have encouraged me to explore it. He would not want me to be miserable.” 

Rhys nods, walking over to take your hand, brushing his thumb across the back of it. “We take this at your pace. Whatever you want.” 

“I'd like for us to be friends first. I want to get to know you. The real you. Rhys, not Rhysand.” 

“I think that could be arranged.” He smiles, violet eyes twinkling with stars. 

“And I'd like some dresses. I don't like wearing pants.” 

He laughs. “That also could be arranged.” 

You look over the male in front of you, your mate, eyes lighting up as the start of an idea forms in your head. 

“Tell me everything about Feyre's bargain, bargain tattoos and bargain magic.”

It's nearly the final day when you burst into the library, Rhys following close behind. Feyre jumps, quill scratching across the parchment, startled by your sudden entrance.

“I came up with an idea so that I can stay here. When Rhys takes you back, he’ll tell Tamlin that I made a bargain with him to release you from your bargain. You have to return to the Night Court two more times to make up for the remainder of the three months missed, but once those weeks are over, as long as I remain in the night court, you don't have to return. You and I will also make a bargain, but we'll get into that when Rhys leaves.” You glance at him over your shoulder, giving him a pointed look. He raises his hands in mock surrender, turning to leave, tugging on the bond as he does. You shake your head, grinning. 

“I think overall it's a good idea. Why are we making a bargain?”

“Because I want to know that you're okay. I know you want to be in Spring. And I understand why now. But if anything ever changes, I want you to tell me and we’ll get you. I don't care if it's a week from now or 100 years from now. You'll always be there because you choose to be.”

“And you won't be upset if I do?” 

“Of course not. I hope the way I pushed hasn't made you feel like I would be. I really did think I was helping.” 

“I know you did. What will our bargain be?”

“Rhys said it can be something simple, as long as it remains unfulfilled, or is open ended, the tattoo and the bond that comes with the bargain will remain.” Feyre nods, waiting for you to tell her your idea. “We promise to write to each other once a week for the rest of our lives.”

“You made Rhys leave for that?” She raises an eyebrow.

You grin. “Yeah, I did.” 

She laughs. “I accept your bargain.” 

You feel the tattoo appear on the inside of your forearm, near your elbow and roll up your sleeve to take a look. You smile and the cluster of flowers that appeared on your skin.

“Little lillies?” Feyre asks.

“No,” you say, shaking your head. “Alstroemeria. Flowers have symbolic meanings and this one  means friendship, love, strength, and devotion. It's for people who help each other through the trials and tribulations of life.”

“For sisters.” Feyre stands, pulling you into a hug.

You pace in the study, waiting for Rhys to return from taking Feyre back to Spring. It shouldn't be taking this long, should it? You had sent Feyre back with a letter for Tamlin, explaining that you had felt responsible for Feyre's bargain with Rhys, so you had made the bargain to take her place. She would give it to him after Rhys left. 

You tug on the bond, trying to make yourself relax, managing to do so when you find it firmly in place. You would know if something was wrong. He was probably just antagonizing your brother. 

Rhys winnows back in, crossing over to you, placing his hands on your shoulders to stop your pacing. “If you keep going you might wear a hole in the rug, and I'm rather fond of this one.” 

“How did it go?” You drop your shields enough to let him in so he can show you, grimacing at what you see. 

“Don't fret, Darling. It could have been worse.” 

“It absolutely could have. I'm just not a fan of the way he pulled Feyre away from you. If he's not careful, he's going to hurt her.” You frown, brow furrowed. 

“If he does, we’ll know.” He taps the spot where your tattoo is. You nod, trying to force yourself not to worry. Part of you still wishes you had gone back with her. 

“So what now? You bring me to your Court?”

He nods. “I do, but not the Court of Nightmares. I bring you to my true court, to my home. I bring you to Velaris.”

A/N: And there it is! It took a completely different path than I was expecting. Unless I get super inspired and write the next chapter between now and Monday, the next chapter will not be posted until the 17th at the earliest. I will keep my requests open, because I'll probably still write, I just won't be editing and posting!

Divider by @tsunami-of-tears

Taglist: @lilah-asteria @readingislife2006 @acourtofimagines @mistymoocow @irelanrose

@darker-december @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @loving-and-dreaming @bravo-delta-eccho

@sidthedollface2 @oucereeng @jesskidding3 @panther-girl-124 @jiarkives

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[munsons-hellfire]

Forever Together 2 | Ploy!Bat Boys

SUMMARY: You struggle to come to terms with the battle against Hybern. But Feyre’s pregnancy looms over everyone. And while everyone is worried about her and the babe with wings your mates are worried about you and the state you’ve been left in.

PAIRINGS: Bat Boys x Reader

CONTENT WARNING: Mentions of trauma, mentions of war, mentions of death, lying, the inner circle, cliff hanger

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This post is out a little late, mainly because I couldn't post it while I was at work as I did not have my laptop. It's looking like this is turning into a series if I can't get everything finished in part 3. I really don't want to rush it so it might be turning into a series. If you wish to be tagged in the next part let me know in the comments.

WORD COUNT: 2.7K

Feyre is pregnant. You were happy for her and Ryder, you knew they deserved it after all the trouble they’d gone through just to be with each other. Since the war had ended you and your mates had not yet accepted the bond fully. Cassian and Azriel were on missions and you and Rhysand were working hard with the other High Lords to come to an agreement on the treaty. Right now that was the least of your concerns.

You were curled up on Rhysand’s lap, your head rested on his chest while his arms were draped around your body. Cassian and Azriel had found it hard to keep their eyes off their mates. It had been hard to separate you from Rhy’s side as of late. Though the High Lord wasn’t complaining. Everyone was in the room in your home that Rhys had built after the war. It was nice to be able to come home to the three males. Feyre and Ryder had a home built right next to yours.

Right now they were discussing whether they should tell Lucien about his true heritage. You didn’t agree with them in the slightest, and their reasoning for not wanting to tell him was starting to anger you. You knew you were pushing it down the bond, you knew that Rhys, Cass, and Az could feel everything you were sending them. It wasn’t fair to Lucien to be kept in the dark about who his father really was.

You felt differently towards this whole conversation, you wanted to know what it was like to truly have a brother. And Lucien was your brother, he was your half-brother; but still he was blood nonetheless. And you knew he deserved to know. You had disliked how they all had treated him in the aftermath of what Hybern had done to Nesta and Elain. You knew he wasn’t in the right, but he didn’t deserve the treatment he was getting.

You felt an unbearable headache coming on, you’d have to stop at Madja to see if she’d have anything for the pain, and maybe you’d get a sleeping tonic to hopefully allow you to at least get one peaceful sleep without nightmares. The constant arguing was starting to get on your nerves. Finally you had enough and stood up from Rhy’s lap. You already missed his warmth and wanted to crawl back into his lap.

”Are you ok, love?” Azriel questioned, his brow lifted as he leaned forward in his seat next to Cassian. His hazel eyes were glued to you. There was a trace of worry in his features.

”This isn’t right.” You mumbled, walking to the center of the room. You wrapped your arms around your body as all eyes were now on you. “I don’t think this should be kept from him.”

”Y/N, Lucien is in the human lands, one secret won’t hurt him.” Rhy’s soft voice swam through your pointed ears. Shock fell upon your features as you stared at your mate.

”No, I won’t have it.” You glared at him, at the male who had made you his High Lady.

”Why? Why are you so eager to tell that male?” Amren asked, her eyes blazing brightly as she stared at you.

”Because he deserves to know his father.” You paused, closing your mouth. You were trying so hard to hold back the tears but waves were crashing into you like you weren’t made of stone. “Because I deserve a brother who loves me, and doesn’t treat me like shit, one who didn’t get my mother killed. I deserve better than those Illyrian bastards I was forced to call brothers. Most importantly, Lucien deserves a family who loves him for him and not who he sided with.”

The hurt was evident in your voice as you spoke to them. You couldn’t stand it anymore. All their eyes on you. Taking a deep breath in to calm yourself, then you released it. Turning away from them you quickly walked out of the room heading to your shared room with Rhysand, Cassian, and Azriel. All of whom had exchanged a concerned look with each other.

”I think it’s best if we come back to this matter on a later day.” Rhys said, as he stood from his chair and walked out of the living room heading down the hallway. Cassian and Azriel would see to it that everyone left and then they’d join you and Rhys.

When you made it to the bedroom you collapsed into the bed and pulled the covers over your head. You didn’t understand why this was something that needed to be discussed. Lucien deserved to know that Helion was his father, that you were his half-sister. You deserved so much and so did he. You pressed your eyes closed tightly when you heard the door open. You weren’t in the mood to talk to any of them tonight, not while the emotions were still fresh in your mind.

You felt Rhys press his body into you, his arm wrapped around your waist and he pulled you and the cover closer to him. His chin rested on top of your hair, slowly you started to remove the cover from the top half of your body. Just as Cassian and Azriel walked into the room. You felt the bed dip again. Cassian was on the other side of you and Azriel was behind Rhys.

Since coming home from the war you had curled up next to Rhys at night, while Cassian and Azriel would often switch which side of the bed they slept on. Rhy’s violet eyes found yours, he pulled his hand up and rested it on your cheek.

“Do you want to talk about whatever is bothering you darling?” Rhys asked, his voice so soft. You shook your head, Rhys’ hand moving with your movement.

“Not tonight, I-I can’t.” Your lips were trembling as more fresh tears fell down your face.

“We’ll talk about it when you're ready sweetheart.” Cassian was the next to speak, he nudged his head into your neck and breathed in your sweet scent.

“Get some sleep, love.” Azriel was the next to speak. You once again found yourself nodding your head. It was difficult to come up with the words right now. You snuggled up between your three mates and eventually sleep found you but it wasn’t a dreamless sleep like you’d hoped for.

☾

They were surrounding you, there was nowhere to go. And you’d be forced with only one option, kill them. They were now a fading memory, fighting on the losing side. You were covered in blood, your hair was caked with that blood and dirt. Your fingers tightened around your sword, knuckles turning white from the grip. Rhys had reached out to you via mind informing you that Cassian had been injured.

“Well… look at you.” The male whom you thought was your father spoke to you. “You think you’re tough and strong now.” He wasn’t your father, Helion was. Though the other males were still your half-brothers.

“I have nothing to prove to you.” Your voice was venomous as the words dripped from your lips. The  male glanced at your brothers. A hideous laugh escaped his mouth, then he lifted his blade in the air and ran towards you. Your brothers stood still, while your own blade came in contact with the male’s sword.

Grunts escaped from you as you fought him off. Your power was itching to break free. It tingles inside you. You ignored it just as the sword cut your shoulder. A wince escaped you and the males laughed loudly, but that was enough for you to lose all control you had left. Suddenly you blacked out, when you  came to you were on your knees. Sword next to you as you breathed heavily. They were no more.

But then everything changed, you were in front of your mates. Sad looks crossed their faces. They were kneeling on the ground. Two Hybern soldiers held onto you. Hybern himself stood behind your mates.

“Such a pity you had to be mated to these three batards.” Hybern’s words slammed into you, constricting your lungs.

“No, please. Don’t touch them.” You cried out.

But the words didn’t matter. It didn’t matter how much you begged him. You felt your heart stop when you no longer felt them through the bond.

“No! No!” You pulled yourself out of the bed, running to the bathroom and hurling the contents of your dinner up. You calmed slightly when you felt their welcoming presence. A few of Az’s shadows curled around your body helping you cool down. Sweat covered you entirely, you could feel their concern through the bond. But you knew they could feel your fear.

“What was it, love?” Azriel’s voice was close to your ears. Cassian had his hands wrapped around your hair keeping it from falling into your face while you continued to hurl up the rest of your dinner. Rhys and Az placed a hand on you, both rubbing soothing circles on your back. Since returning from the war there had been a lot of nights like this. But Ryder was the only one who truly knew about your nightmares.

“Bad dream.” You whispered when the hurling finally stopped.

“Please tell us what you saw.” Cassian was the one to speak this time. But you couldn’t speak it into existence.

“Show me darling, only if you can.” Rhys said, speaking in your mind. So you lowered your shield and allowed Rhysand to see what you had dreamed tonight. It had been the same, but this was the first night you had dreamt a nightmare where your mates died. “Can I show Cass and Az?”

“Yes.” You replied back.

You moved to the floor, the shadows that had left their master followed you and continued to glide around your body. You kept your eyes closed, Rhys picked you up from the bathroom floor and carried you back to the bed. Azriel and Cassian followed behind you and him. It was quiet, you assumed that the males were talking to each other, trying to figure out what to do. How to handle your trauma. These nightmares were constant, never ending. You never caught a break, always losing sleep because of the nightmares.

The four of you settled into the bed in the same position you’d been in before you’d woken up. “I’m sorry.” You whispered, tears starting to fall from your eyes.

“There is nothing to apologize for, love.” Azriel whispered, he had his chin resting on Rhysand’s shoulder, and his hazel eyes were on you. His shadows moved around until they eventually covered the four of you. They were protecting you and your mates.

“It’s okay to feel this way. You have gone through so much, and you will get through this.” Cassian nuzzled his head into your neck, he moved his hand to rest on your waist and gently began to move his finger in a circle, a motion he knew calmed you down.

“You almost lost Cassian, you and Az both. You all experienced my death, and I can never take back what I did. I truly am sorry for putting you three through that. I’m here now, and I’m not leaving any of you again.” Rhys made the declaration clear to his mates. “I love you all equally, and I promise we will get through this together. We’ll help you with your nightmares.”

You nodded in understanding “I wish I didn't kill them. I hate that they are responsible for my mother’s death, but I regret killing them.” You paused trying to think of what to say next, you knew that they’d seen it. How you had acted in the nightmare when you killed them was exactly what had happened and even after all these months after the war it still haunted you.

“You did what you had to.” Azriel said.

“I blacked out. I panicked. I didn’t think I could do that, I didn’t even mean to kill them. It just happened and I know that’s probably not an excuse but that’s what happened. Next thing I knew Helion was in front of me and then Rhys was gone and I couldn’t feel him.”

Rhys tightened his arms around you, it still felt like a dream. It still felt like Rhys and Cass weren’t here and it was just you, and Azriel, and his shadows. Since you had lost your wings nothing was falling into place the way you thought it would and right now it really didn’t seem real.

“It’s real, Cass and I are real.” His smooth voice ran through your ears. You only gave a brief nod. Sleep was starting to fall over you again. But you didn’t know how long you would get before the nightmares returned.

☾

The sun shined brightly in your shared room. But you were quickly disappointed when you discovered none of your mates were in the bed with you. Throwing the covers off your body you stood to quickly change into comfortable clothes rather than going for a dress. Being the High Lady of the Night Court was the least of your worries right now. You opened the door and started to traverse down the hallway, voices were coming from the living room.

You could hear Rhys talking, though you were unsure of who he was talking to. Slowly you came to a stop and listened in on the conversation. You could tell that Cass and Az were in the room as well. You assumed judging by the hushed whispers that everyone else was included in the conversation but you. Which only meant one thing, they were discussing Lucien without you.

“Y/N is going to be beyond angry when she finds out that we voted without her.” It was Feyre’s voice that you hear break through Rhys’s comment.

“I know, but right now I don’t think it’s a great idea for Lucien to know. Y/N needs time to process the events of the war and she needs time to focus on the powers that she received from Helion. Lucien would be an added distraction on top of all of that.” Rhysand said.

They were going to keep this from you. A secret. One of many you assumed. You didn’t want to hear anymore of this. You stepped around the corner and looked at everyone in the room. Rhysand had his back to you.

“You voted not to tell him?” The hurt was evident in your voice. Cassian and Azriel were quick to stand up as Rhysand turned towards you. A look of shock on his face, clearly he had not expected you to be awake. “I woke up to an empty bed, one without my mates. So I came searching only to discover that you thought it was best that I didn’t have an added distraction. What in your right mind thought that was best for me? He’s my brother, he deserves to know.” The anger flared in your body and it was evident in the way that your power had started to show.

The light illuminates your body, some have to look away. “I thought it was best! Y/N. Cass and Az didn’t have a say in the matter.”

You shook your head. “I can’t believe you, Rhys. This is a new low even for you. Keeping that from him and Helion would only damage my relationship with both males. Did you even stop to think about that, about what might happen if they found out, if they found out that I lied to them.”

“I-”

“No. That’s not fair. Not fair to them and not fair to me.”

Before he could get another word in you winnowed away. It was the only thing you’d really learned to get the hang of after discovering what powers you’d received from your father. A door opened, before anything came out of your mouth you collapsed into the arms of the male that is your brother.

“Y/N, what are you doing here?” Lucien questioned, eyes on you.

“You’re my brother.” The shock was so clear on his face, but you couldn’t hold it in anymore.

[moon4411]

Azriel x mate reader (Rhysand's sister)

Warning: angst? Fluff? Idk, my bad gramatic.

Where is he?_ I forcefully open the front door, the intense pain in my lower back prevents me from keep walking, so strong that I let out a groan.- Mor, step aside if you're not going to help.

What are you doing here? You should be in be... oh my god, you're bleeding!_ Mor took my hands to guide me to the nearest chair. – Where is Azriel?

Mor, please, i need to see him, it's been so long. _ I beg, letting out a tear for my brother who I haven't seen since he sacrificed himself for all of us and remained under the reign of Amarantha.

okay, it's upstairs, but I must warn you; we have visitors._She directs me to the hallway where is Rhysand.

A small argument reaches my ears as I get closer, I can see the blur of a shoe ending on my brother's head, then Rhys turns his gaze and collides with mine. So many years avoiding looking in the mirror for fear of seeing the purple color of my eyes, the same color as my twin's eyes.

Sister_ he whispers, and from the color that leaves his face I know that he has already perceived the smell of blood, as well as my hands that have some stains and my simple blue dress with the folds of the skirt of a crimson red color that is already turning brown.

He turns his gaze to the thin girl on the other side of the hallway, she is wearing an ostentatious dress and seems to be frowning until her gaze meets mine and sudendly changes to one of concern or fear. -Rest Feyre, you'll need it. We'll talk in the morning.

As Rhys walks slowly towards me I can hear the guest's door close and my brother's breathing become more erratic. He take my hands and starts crying. -W-what happened? Are you okay? _ he turns to look at the hallway i came through, looks at Mor and then at the floor, finding a path of blood.

Maybe it's because of the adrenaline that little by little leaves my body or maybe it's the shock of meeting my twin again, but I only manage to take two steps and hug him before i faint letting all my weight fall on him.

The next time I open my eyes again i'm on a bed, I recognize the walls, is my old room.

She's very pale, we have to call Madja_ Rhys's face is full of tears and his hands don't stop shaking. ��Rhys, RHYS, calm down_ Mor's tone is severe. -She's fine, just a little tired, she should be in bed, not winnowing and looking for you in the middle of the night. Madja is already on her way with Azriel, but I need you to stay calm, okay? I promise you everything is okay, I know she's bleeding but in a moment you'll understand, you just breathe.

Apparently that calms him and he proceeds to take a seat near my bed while holding my hand.

I manage to smile slightly at him. –I'm fine, I promise Rhys.

Yes, well i'm not okay._ Azriel enters the room looking very angry, but I can't help but smile at how cute he looks carrying a small baby wrapped in a pink blanket.

I squeeze my brother's hand tighter as I watch how he is looking at Azriel and back to me.

Rhys, I want you to meet Emma, your niece.

Rhysand bursts into tears and Azriel brings our daughter to him so he can hold her for the first time. he smiles at me.- I think you two have a lot to tell me.

We let out a little laugh. –oh, believe me, they do._ Mor answers. –I'll go get Madja, I think she needs help carrying things to clean you up and make sure you're okay.

I nod and with a little help from Azriel manage to sit on the bed to take my daughter in my arms.

I missed you a lot Rhys.

Me too, I missed you sister, but don't worry, from now on, nothing will be able to separate me from you.

I think you can tell that English is not my first language, so... Yeah I did my best. I spent like 5 years without writing because of my depression, but I think it's a good time to come back.

tell me what you think✨🫶🏽

[yourlittlebunnyy]

snow - azriel x reader

main masterlist azriel masterlist

kallias version

summary: Lover, wife, mate. Until he loses you.

warnings: death, happy but not very happy ending;)

w/c: 3.5k

a/n: this fic is fully inspired by "snow" by maxence fermine.

enjoy!

That evening, over a glass of good wine given to him by his uncle Rhysand, and with his other half, your son said, “I don't even remember what she looked like in the face.” And he laughed chasing away the negativity of the situation.

It was true. He no longer remembered your face. But you remember - no, you observe - his from the day you left. He didn't have you beside him, but you were always there, revelling in his victories and grieving over his sorrows.

That night you visited him in his sleep. He did not recognize you.

“My son.” You greeted him. You were on a flowery meadow. He reciprocated, but showed no signs of affection. You were little more than a stranger to him.

You shared blood. You had carried him for ten months. You had nurtured and changed him for two years. But to him, you were nothing.

“My father never told me anything about you.” He said it as if to justify his distance.

But you understand it, you always understand.

You were as close to your child as you were to Azriel, your beloved. You understood and accepted and respected his grief. You understood and accepted and respected being gone from the world all of a sudden. Your memory kept alive only by your mate, quietly and intimately. And you were fine with that.

“Would you like to know?” You asked him at that point. Your arms quivered for contact. Your son nodded.

And so, your story began.

“I would never have seen the light if my love for him had not been there to enlighten me. And he would never have seen it if it were not for me.” The Fae snorted a laugh, interrupting you.

“That's impossible.”

“Why do you say that?” You questioned.

“I know my father. A female would never be able to reduce him like that. He is a warrior.” Hurt, you shifted your gaze to the lush field in front of you.

“Then you don't know your father as well as you think, honey. That's all right, it's a long story. It would have bored you anyway.”

“No.” He begged, surprising you and himself. “Please, tell.”

“Our story goes back centuries. We were about your age.” You took a deep breath, and dove into the memories. “It all began magically. One winter day, while returning from the battle against Hybern, he fell in love with me. I was very different from the kind of females he was used to. At that time he was the Spy Master of the Night Court. He had participated in a very violent war that had ended in a brilliant, beautiful and unpredictable victory. So that he came back as a victor. Triumphant but wounded. A soldier had injured his best friend, your uncle, Cassian. Killed Amren. Then Rhysand. He had been wounded, too. In the wings. When he returned he still had the senses of that scene: the taste of blood and mud everywhere in his mouth, the memory of hatred painted in Hybern's face, the near-death experience. But it was the age of honor. Those were the joys of war. One had to die or return wounded to be considered victorious.

However, your father never forgot that battle. He could never forget the sight of his family one step away from defeat, from death. It was the most horrible thing he had ever experienced in his entire life. And believe me, honey, your father saw a lot of things. When he returned, he fainted on his bed. His family took him for dead and he lay on that bed for three days, still soiled with the marks of war. It was your aunt, Feyre, who found him, since she was worried about him.

He settled down, but for several days he was shaken. There was still fear in his eyes. Rhysand thanked him for his help, and Azriel was proud, but his pride still remained clouded by sorrow for what he had experienced. Finally, having recovered his energy, he came to a conclusion. He did not want to fight anymore, and not so much because of the wound that had been inflicted on him - he had suffered far worse during his life - but out of sheer disgust with war. He, who had spent his entire life killing, realized that he no longer had any desire to kill.

He therefore left the Wind House and set out on the streets of my beloved Velaris. And it was there, on his walk, that the miracle took place.

Crippled by the cold, at the end of his strength, with the horror of war still in his eyes, alone in the thick of the darkness and the tragedy he had just experienced, alone in the abyss of winter, alone with the vertigo of his loneliness, alone in his silence, where he should have died a hundred times of cold, hunger, fatigue, disappointment and exhaustion, he survived. He survived because what he saw that day, that thing, that extraordinary thing that also came from the other side of reality, no doubt to compensate the horror, that sublime and beautiful thing was the most sublime and beautiful image he had ever been allowed to see in his entire life. That image was me. And he could no longer forget me.

What he saw was me, at the time a young female, balancing on a rope. I felt as light as a bird, felt as graceful as a squirrel as I performed above the silvery river of Velaris. I was sixty feet above the ground. More than walking the wire I was floating in the air as if by magic. I was gliding faintly in the blue up there, standing on my invisible wire, the barbell in my hands. I could have been mistaken for an angel.

Your father slowly approached the river, and my beauty captivated him. He then told me that it was the first time he had seen a female from another Continent in Velaris. I seemed to fly, so, intrigued he advanced again. I was now perfectly above him. A dense crowd had gathered on the shore to witness my strange apparition. He approached an old man and, not taking his eyes off me, asked him who I was. I do not know exactly what he answered him, but from that moment he never stopped looking for me.

I was a funambulist, and my life followed only one line. Straight.

I was from Vallahan, a place far away. They called me Snow. I was nicknamed so because I had skin of glass, eyes of ice, and hair of gold. When I darted through the air I looked as light as a snowflake.

This is how I had begun. One day, while I was still a child, my path had crossed that of a traveling circus. Stunned, I had discovered the possibility of daydreaming. Heedless of the dangers, I had decided to make it my business. I had started with a tightrope stretched a few inches off the ground. Then, little by little, I had gone higher and higher in both height and mastery of my art. And so I became one of the first female funambulists. Up on the tightrope, I never came down again.

I became one for the love of balance. I, whose life unfolded like a twisty thread, excelled in the subtle and treacherous art of doing evolutions on a tightrope. I never felt as comfortable as when I walked on a wire a thousand feet above the ground. Straight ahead of me. Without ever deviating a single millimeter off course. It was my destiny. To advance step by step. From one end of life to the other.

My feats had conquered all of Velaris. By the age of twenty, I had already traveled more than a hundred kilometers on my tightrope, often risking my life. I had stretched my wire between two tall buildings in the Rainbow and balanced several hours above the city, I was like a swan made of wind, snow and silence. Then I had repeated my feats at every place in the Court of Night, each time defying the laws of balance.

I was no mere funambulist. I was proceeding through the air as if by magic. Looking at me so far up there, my body standing upright in the sky like a white flame and my golden hair caressed by the wind, I would have been told that I belonged to heaven. Because for me actually the hardest thing was not keeping myself balanced, or even mastering my fear, much less walking that endless tightrope. The hardest thing was not to turn into a snowflake.

By now I was being claimed in every corner of the Court. I even went to the Court of Nightmares. Then, almost without realizing it, I got as far as the Illyrian Steppes, where your father was ecstatic to watch me. Never before had an artist performed before the Illyrian. And Azriel looked at me and already loved me. In his eyes I was no mere funambulist. I was Snow, and I represented all the beauty of art. When I had finished my performance with the tightrope, and returned to the ground, he could not restrain the urge to approach me. He stepped forward and, in doing so, discovered the fineness of my features, the design of my mouth, the line of my eyebrows, and knew instantly that he could never forget my face. He looked into my eyes, and in turn I squared him. No words were spoken, and that was all we needed. I smiled at him, and in that he lost his soul. He knelt before me and said, “I have been looking for you, mate.”

I, on the other hand, was looking for no one. But his gesture seemed to me of such beauty that I delighted in it. And I accepted the bond. We got married, even. The first years passed happily. A happy event solidified our bond: you. You possessed my features, but your father's strength, darling. Our life was one of peace and silence. Gradually I was settling more and more into this Court. Sometimes I felt homesick for Vallahan, but I never complained about it.

What I missed most of all was my job as a funambulist. One night I dreamed of flying again. The next day, waking up, I thought about the dream again. Then I thought no more about it. The cold weather came. Then spring again. You developed in the ecstasy of light. I was happy. In one hand I held your father's heart and in the other my own, which at the same time I offered to you. And that fragile balance served to keep me balanced on the edge of happiness. But one day that balance became so fragile that it broke. One day the affection you offered me was no longer enough to make me happy. I cruelly missed the life in the air. I thirsted again for vertigo, for thrills, for conquest. I thought only of becoming a funambulist again. I asked Azriel to arrange one last performance. I wanted to stretch a rope from mountain to mountain in the heart of the Steppes.

Surely your father esteemed my desire as foolish, deeming it senseless to endanger my life and the life...of your sister.

But, like a true male, he bowed before me and consented. He had two steel ropes come from the Court of the Day. Then he sent two helpers to secure the longest cable between the two highest peaks.

I slipped the barbell out of my old case, put on my ballerina shoes, and practiced for hours in the garden, passing small mountains of flowers and a pond where yellow water lilies floated. Azriel, on the other hand, never tired of watching me. I was a funambulist without any rival.

On that thread I was happy, free and grateful. I thanked the Mother every day for giving me your father. I had blond hair. I had clear eyes. And I was walking on air.

The performance we stared at for the first few days of summer, my belly barely prominent. A crowd gathered from all over the Court to witness my feats. Lucien and Elain, who at the time had just become High Lords, also came.

When I placed my feet on the cable, the crowd rumbled. Up there, I was so high that those who only looked at me felt dizzy; I looked like a white dot in space, a snowflake in the immensity of the sky.

Armed with my barbell, for more than half an hour I performed high above the ground, slowly approaching the opposite side of the mountain. Below, they were holding their breath. One false step and it was certain death. But I, perfectly mastering my art, advanced inexorably. Step by step. Blow after blow. Silence after silence. From vertigo to vertigo. And your father watched as I danced caressed by his shadows in contrast to my white skin, silently praying for me, for his daughter. For your sister. I never stumbled.

It was the wire that broke. Definitely poorly secured, the cable came off the rock and plunged me into a thousand-foot drop. Me, the barbell and my unborn daughter.

Those who saw me disappear there, in the heart of the Steppes, took me for a bird falling from the sky. And my body was never found again.

I, Snow, became snow and sleep in its whiteness.

Your father never recovered from the loss of me, his mate. He killed the two clumsy helpers with cruelty, hatred and the thirst for revenge commanded his movements. Your uncle allowed him to do so without punishing him. But Azriel felt neither joy nor pity in the act. Killing them would not bring me back to life. He saw only one thing: his own grief. He knew only one thing: that never again would he find the woman he had loved. Never again would he see his Snow again. Never again would he see my beauty again.

Back in our house, now devoid of any joy, he threw away the Illyrian sword with which he had killed the two males. He would never kill again in his life, he promised himself. He would throw himself into pain. In the face of our daughter who died that day with me, in which my own face was reflected, he would weep every tear in his body. There was only one last gift left, one last thing that held him to the world of the living: you.

He sank so deep into his grief that he went blind. Your father accepted it, you know. It doesn't really bother him, he is no longer a warrior. He thinks the Mother no longer saw any sense in keeping his sight, if he wouldn't see me anyway.

I have always been close to him. I have always been close to you, my son. As much as my condition allows me to be.

I have never been given a final farewell. In your house my name is like a curse: it is never spoken and disaster should it be done. Therefore, I have come here, in a dream to you, for one last request. I want to be buried with your father. Come to me.” And you showed him where all that time you were hiding.

“Why didn't you say that before?”

“Because your father would not have been able to go on, seeing my face every day.”

As you spoke, you looked lost in the void, your eyes still veiled by the breath of the dream. The story had been long and paplit. Coming back to reality was difficult. Your son merely smiled and nodded at you, his own eyes wet with tears.

The next day he went to Azriel, who was relaxing by the silver river. He asked him to close his eyes and imagine the whiteness.

“I know where your Snow is.”

At these words, Azriel's face froze. Still with his dead gaze turned toward the river, he said, “Who are you to know this? No one knows where she is. The mountain swallowed her up. A long time ago.”

“That's false. The mountain digested her and returned her body. She is there, under the ice, a meter from the surface. She is there, in a glass coffin, intact and as beautiful as when you met her. In her womb she still holds the fruit of your love. I swear to you that I know where she is. She showed it to me in a dream. If you wish, I can lead you to her.”

Azriel understood that your son was telling the truth, and he could not hold back a tear. “I knew that one day we would meet again. But I did not expect that day to come so late in my life.” He turned to the younger Fae and laid a hand on his shoulder. “And to say that since she died ... since she died I've been looking everywhere for her. I've been looking for her everywhere. In every corner of this Court. In every corner of my mind. In every, single, dream. And now that I can finally see her, I will not see her.”

The next day, after the usual practice, your son asked your mate, “Have you thought about my proposal? When do you want me to take you there?”

Azriel sighed, then replied in a sad voice, “My son. This trip would be useless. I know you speak the truth, but what good would it do for an old blind man to find the grave of a dead lady? Wherever she is, my mate is at peace. May her isolation be respected for eternity.”

“No, father. She told me. Her last request was to be found. To be buried with you.” Azriel disappeared into his garden, leaving his son to be crushed by the weight of his own words.

A month passed. Your son and husband no longer spoke of you. They did not even dare to mention it. Every day, the younger Fae went to Azriel to keep him company, but in the end the two always ended up in oppressive silence. It was as if you were invisible.

But then one morning, standing on the edge of the river in Velaris, Azriel said to your son, “Tomorrow we will visit your mother.” Both of them did not answer, they just smiled.

They left at dawn. Your son guided Azriel with the sound of his footsteps. Every time he offered him a hand to help him over some steeper or treacherous passage, and your husband refused it and punctually overcame the obstacle without the need for help. He may have forgotten that he had been a warrior, but his muscles had not.

At night they slept in the villages. When, upon entering a village, Azriel uttered his name and declared where he was from, the doors opened before him as if by magic. The entire Night Court seemed to know his old reputation. Your son was astonished.

And he understood how fortunate he had been to be able to follow the teaching of such a father.

The journey was long, of unceasing whiteness. White as the cherry blossoms. White like the silence that accompanied the two wayfarers.

Finally, one morning, the first mountain peaks appeared. Their road began to climb toward the sky and its purity. They were the hardest hours. Your beloved began to show signs of fatigue, but your son pretended not to, since they were no longer very far from you. Azriel found the strength to go on only because of you. The journey was coming to an end.

When your son glimpsed the place shown to him in his dream, he trembled with excitement. “Dad!” He shouted. “I found it!” The young man rushed under a rock where, in your dream, you showed yourself lying. He had a cry of surprise.

“What is it?” Azriel asked, trepidatiously. “Has Snow disappeared forever? Has there been an avalanche?”

“No.” He said then. “Far from it. She is different from how she showed herself to me. Snow is here, but her body is closer. It is two or three centimeters from the veil of ice. I can almost touch it. It's as if she has prepared for our arrival.”

You were there. You, creature so beautiful, so naked, so blond, as fragile as in the dream. You were dead. Yet you seemed alive. You were resting under the ice. And soon you would emerge from your grave.

You were not really naked. Your funambulist's dress had been so long under the ice that the weave of the fabric had become almost transparent. And your body so delicate and your skin so diaphanous seemed even more fragile. So transparent were you that your son could glimpse your sweet pregnant womb. He threw himself on all fours and scratched at the ice with his nails. Finally you were there.

Your son grabbed Azriel's hand and placed it on your face. And you, watching the scene crouching beside the two males, could almost feel your mate's gentle caress on your skin. You breathed in that touch.

“Can you feel her face? Do you feel her skin?” Azriel's hand stroked your cheek again. He was blind. But he did not need his eyes to recognize the lines of your face. And yours was so well preserved that a simple touch with his fingertips on your lips turned blue was all he needed.

“It really is her. She is my Snow. You have never lied to me.” He fell to his knees before you and wept hot tears warming your face. He could neither see nor feel you, yet you laid a hand on his shoulder. You could not feel him under your fingers. But you were fine with that. It was okay even just that. Just seeing him.

Azriel never descended from the mountain. He lay down on the ice beside you and closed his eyes.

Your son tried to talk him out of it by saying it was madness, that it was too cold to stay there. But your mate answered him in a serene voice, “Leave me alone. I have found my place. For eternity.”

He fell asleep beside your intact body, one hand resting on your womb.

He died letting the whiteness of the world overcome him. He was happy. At the height of your heart.

[k-daydreams]

The Pursuit of Feeling Alive: III. Bratty Behavior

Pairing: fem!reader x azriel, platonic!innercircle

Synopsis: cousin to Rhysand and Morrigan, y/n was once her family’s golden child. Faced with trials and tribulations her whole life, she needed reprieve— a distraction. Until a surprise homecoming opens Pandora’s box, and gives y/n a reality check. Especially facing her once close friend Azriel. Friends to Enemies to lovers trope.

Word count: 4k

Warnings: swearing, trauma, reader being shitty, slow slow burn, mor and Cassian being readers moral sanity, filler chapter, grammatical errors lmao

Authors note: hellooo! So this is kinda a filler since what I was writing for this part was so long. Next part will really be juicy I promise! Thank you guys for so much love on the last part, I hope y’all will like this! Not a lot of Az has been in this part, mainly talking about him in 3rd person, but I promise hold on hope y’all get him in action in the next!! Lmk what you guys think

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"Rhysand isn't impressed with Azriel," Mor declared, her knife slicing through a piece of meat. "To be honest, Y/n, I could genuinely throttle him." She took a bite of her food before continuing.

It was your first night back in Velaris, and the inner circle, along with the company, was aware of what had happened between Azriel and you. Well, at least what Cassian, Nesta, and Elain had witnessed. Rhys and Feyre hadn't approached you about it yet; Mor mentioned they wanted to spare you any further distress for the time being. Typically when one of the inner circle members had returned home from something, Rhys would have organized a celebratory family dinner, but he had decided against it for now. Instead, you and Mor dined alone in the House of Wind tonight.

Nonchalantly, you shrugged and took a sip from your wine glass. "Just another tantrum from that Illyrian man-child. Nothing new, really." You tried to sound relaxed, not wanting your friends and family to worry about you or the argument. You didn't want Azriel to know his words had cut you deeply or give him any satisfaction. You had already shown him just how much they had affected you. The impact was tangible—you had been restless, tossing and turning in bed for the past few nights, with no appetite to eat. Your homecoming was supposed to mark the beginning of your healing journey, yet here you were, starving and sleep-deprived due to the nonsense uttered by a man who thought he knew you.

Mor nodded knowingly, her napkin dabbing at her lips. "He had no right to speak to you like that," she said, her voice firm. "He knows that, no matter what, you're family. That's why we came back for you when Helion sent word. He knows we would do the same for any member of our family and to disregard you so quickly like that."

Disheartened, you let out a sigh. "I don't know, Mor. I knew we ended things on a sour note, but it's been nearly 60 years since then. I thought he would have moved on."

Her food momentarily forgotten, Mor nearly choked when you made that statement. "Please tell me you didn't just say that," she responded incredulously.

What do you mean?"

She stared at you intensely, her eyes burning into your soul as you went blank. "Seriously?" Perfectly shaped eyebrows furrowed in disbelief. "I've seen you hold grudges for centuries, and yet you expect him to forgive you for an argument that happened over half a century ago?"

Both of you fell silent, studying each other across the table. Mor's loyalty to Azriel, despite never reciprocating his feelings, was unwavering—just as yours had been in the past. At times, it made you question if her feelings for him were truly nonexistent, like now. A queasiness churned in your stomach, and your head throbbed with a dull ache. Perhaps drinking on an empty stomach hadn't been the best idea, especially when thoughts of Mor and Azriel intertwined.

You cleared your throat, a newfound coldness lacing your tone as you spoke up. "Every grudge I've held has been a result of something more severe than an argument," you stated, fidgeting with the table linen. "An argument, mind you, that happened because he didn't want me to follow Rhys."

Mor retorted sharply, "Look where that got you." Your heart started pounding, your ears heating. Your gaze dropped in her direction, and a familiar flame ignited within you. "What he did was fucked up, but Y/n, you can be a stubborn brat." You opened your mouth to object, but she raised a hand to stop you. "I'm not trying to be rude. I say this because I care about you. But it's time to own up to your mistakes. Only then, maybe, just maybe, you can find peace again."

Mor's tough love never felt good, but you knew it always came from a place of good intentions. Angry and devastated, you found it hard to accept hearing all that. Sure, you could be opinionated and stubborn at times, but reducing yourself to a brat felt unjust.

Draining your wine, you replied, "I had hoped for a civil conversation with him whenever we did talk." Mor looked skeptical, likely not fully believing you. You did have a record for the last century or so with picking arguments, you blamed being around Mor and Amren so much, and maybe a lot of repressed feelings.

Despite her irritation with you, Mor reached out and took your hand in hers, comforting you with gentle circles on the back of it, like a mother would. "When it comes to you, it seems his shadows turn to flames."

There was so much you wanted to say, but you remained silent, allowing her words to echo in your mind. You couldn't quite grasp their cryptic meaning, but you didn’t want to indulge in the topic too much longer. Mor let go of your hand, standing up. "Feel like grabbing a drink at Rita's?" she asked, her tone changing, a small smirk forming. A way to nurse your wounds.

Shaking your head, you replied, "Not tonight. I need to rest. Traveling today drained me. But thank you." You offered a tight-lipped smile.

"Sweet dreams, little star," Mor said, patting your head before walking away.

The once-dull headache now throbbed prominently in your forehead, and you cradled your head in discomfort. Mor’s conversation seemed to reflect the same argument you had a few days prior with Azriel. Though not filled with as malicious intent as his did, it still left you feeling just as scorned. The house cleared the table immaculately as you stood to make your way to your room.

The hallways were quiet and deserted, illuminated by the dim twinkle of faelights illuminating the red stone of the walls. Each light flickered slightly in your presence before dimming again, but you were too weary to care about such peculiarities of your powers. The House of Wind sprawled endlessly, a labyrinth of doors and spiraling stairs within the mountainside. A few new paintings and plants adorned the halls, likely additions from the High Lady and her sister, but it all remained as you remembered.

When you enter your room, a plate with an assortment of delectable cheese and crackers, accompanied by a tall, refreshing glass of water. Along with a small container of headache powder sat patiently on your bedside table. A sigh of relief escaped your lips as you witnessed the house meticulously pulling back your sheets, reminiscent of the way it used to prepare your bed during your childhood days. Gently placing your night clothes at the foot of the bed, a smile of gratitude graced your face, silently expressing your appreciation to the house. It seemed that Rhys had been right about something you thought once you were in bed getting pulled into a restless sleep.

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You trudged begrudgingly through the halls of the endless mansion. Feyre had roused you from slumber earlier that morning, informing you of a meeting with the inner circle in an hour. Though you harbored little desire to attend, it was the first order by your new High Lady, making it a matter of importance. You hated how far your room was from the war room. Wishing you had wings, even better, you wished you had a room closer to one of the rooms you frequented the most. Finally almost out of breath, you made it to the entrance. You stalked into the room, you found Amren, Cassian, Lucien, Azriel, and Mor already settled in their seats.

"Tsk, tsk, fashionably late to your first meeting?" Cassian playfully jabbed at you. Walking past him, you discreetly flicked the back of his head, eliciting a muttered "brat" as he dramatically nursed the imaginary injury.

Your steps faltered for a moment, as that word—brat—pricked at your annoyance. Not letting it fester too much, you take a seat between Mor and Lucien. Sitting across from Cassian and Amren, with Azriel positioned diagonally next to his brother, you could feel his intense gaze fixed upon you. Determined not to shudder or shift under his scrutiny, you resolved not to let him see how deeply his words affected you. Deep down, however, you couldn't deny the lingering care you held for him, or the way his presence had consumed your thoughts over the past week like a plague.

"I don't see Feyre and Rhysand, so technically I'm not late," you declared, a smug tone coloring your words.

"Actually, they had other matters to attend to," Amren replied indifferently. It had been less than an hour since you last saw Feyre, leaving you puzzled as to what could have transpired in such a short span of time. Cassian nudged your foot under the table, a silent reminder of his earlier warning. Narrowing your eyes, you retaliated by kicking his shin, relishing in his sharp intake of breath as he winced. "Relax, Y/n!" he exclaimed, while you concealed your smirk, leaning back in your chair with crossed arms.

"Must you be so childish?" Azriel's voice snapped at you, catching you off guard.

Cassian stared at his brother in shock, attempting to defend your actions. “Brother I had started it-“

Beside him, the spymaster exhaled, regaining his composure. "I don't care who started it; I want to get through this as quickly as possible.” he requested, his tone cold.

"Yes, please," you muttered under your breath. The shadowsinger shot you a look.

Though you sensed he had more to say, Amren began speaking before another argument could erupt, cutting straight to the point. "We haven't visited the Court of Nightmares in quite some time. It's about time we made an appearance; I'm sure they're on the brink of chaos by now."

Mor sucked in her teeth, and you could hear Lucien gulp audibly, clearly apprehensive at the thought. You bit your lip anxiously.

"I won't be able to attend. Rhysand, specifically Feyre, has requested that you, Y/n, take the reins tonight," Amren announced, a glimmer of mischief in her eyes. She seemed unfazed by the prospect of missing out on the formal affair. Uncertainty flickered across the faces of those from the inner circle, unsure of how you would receive the order, except for Azriel, whose expression remained inscrutable.

You fidgeted with your fingers, picking at the hangnails. Before Amarantha, you had taken pleasure in Rhys entrusting you with these meetings, where you handled official business between the Court of Dreams and Nightmares. It had been empowering to witness your family obeying your orders, having spent so long following theirs, only to be shunned upon your return in the aftermath of one of the darkest days of your life. Your parents were ready to condemn you for treason when they first laid eyes on you. That’s when Rhys had appointed you as an emissary. Primarily since you had spent the most time in the court knowing the ins and outs, and as a sick punishment for your family.

Now, anxiety gripped you as memories you had desperately tried to suppress from your childhood. Those memories now attached with the new ones you sought to repress from your encounter with Amarantha. It became increasingly difficult to focus on Amren's words as your gaze wandered blankly through the expansive window behind her, stretching from the floor to the ceiling.

"Azriel will be right beside you for protection throughout the night, Cassian will accompany Mor, with Lucien joining them," Amren continued, a hint of wariness in her words.

"Why-why can't Cass be by my side?" you stammered. "He's a general for a reason." You had an inkling to why Azriel had always been at your side when you’d be in charge of this responsibility, but you also wanted him nowhere near you. Didn’t anyone else think that him and you together was an awful idea at the moment?

"Because Azriel has a more intimidating effect on your family," Amren replied, looking knowingly at him. Azriel remained stoic, mirroring your own defensive posture—scarred muscular arms crossed, leaning back in his chair, stil as a statue. "As I said, it's been some time since we made an appearance. Who knows what they might do? We can't risk any harm coming to the Princess on her first days back at court," she added mockingly. Rolling your eyes, you fought the urge to offer her a vulgar gesture. For that remark alone, she could certainly go to hell.

"Cassian will come to fetch you later, so you can all gather at the townhouse and winnow together," Amren concluded nonchalantly. "Now, I need to speak with Mor and Cassian privately. You three are dismissed; I'm sure Azriel and Y/n are just itching to throw themselves off the dining room veranda by now." She said to you, Lucien, and Azriel. She was right about one thing, you thought to yourself, your chair scraping against the floor as you stood, eager to escape the war room as quickly as possible.

You closed the door to your room, and fell into your bed screaming into the mattress. You were frustrated, overwhelmed, and exhausted from lack of sleep. A small commotion on your nightstand made you jump, looking up, a medium box now laid on the stand. An envelope attached to a deep purple ribbon wrapped around the gift. You sat up, and grabbed it, opening the paper.

‘Give them hell tonight, you've earned it little star. -R&F’

Inside the box was a diadem of silver, stars of different shapes hung all adorning the chain encrusted in emeralds, diamonds of different hues, and sapphires for you to wear tonight. You sighed, a new feeling slithering through your veins. Maybe this was Rhysand’s way of giving you therapy. You all played a game and made a show down in the court of nightmares that the inner circle all got a kick out of at one point or another. Maybe playing the act was what you needed? You had let your mental shield down, letting your thoughts empty to nothing, hoping Rhys would be paying attention.

You planned this intentionally? You thought once your mind was blank.

Me? What would make you think so? Rhys purred in your mind.

You rolled your eyes. Mhm, you two just had to conveniently leave all of a sudden?

That’s a matter for tomorrow, just try not to torture someone to death tonight, especially not our spymaster. He taunted.

Your spymaster, no promises. You clarified.

Have fun, little star. You could feel him poking at your mind to signal he was no longer there.

You threw your shield up, and laid back on your bed. Tonight was going to be interesting.

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You fixed your lip shine in the mirror, finishing the final touches to your look before a rhythmic knock on your ajar door sounded.

“You ready?” Cassian peaked before walking into the room.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

He let out a low whistle as he examined you. “Your family’s not gonna like that.”

“That’s what I was hoping you’d say.” You smirked despite a brief heat rising to your cheeks.

The gown you chose was something you had saved for a trip specifically for the court of nightmares before you had been trapped under the mountain. The bodice had long sleeves and was skin tight, black crystal branches wrapping up your arms, and up your waist with thicker branches covering your chest. The skirt billowed with several layers of gossamer, much like the gown you wore in the day court just several days prior, but had slits dangerously high risking a reveal of your hip bones unlike the other gown. You wore the highest heels you had in your closet that were sure to make you grumpy just by standing in them for more than a couple minutes— exactly why you chose them. Then the diadem that Rhys and Feyre gifted you graced the top of your head and shimmered in the faelight of your room that flickered in your wake, when you felt the satisfaction from Cass’s comment.

He clicked his tongue, crossing his arms. “I don’t think I even like that.” Then he noticed the slits in the fabric. Rubbing a hand over his face in disbelief. “Mother of the cauldron Y/n, are you even wearing anything under that dress?” He made a face which made you laugh out loud.

“Pig, no need to worry about that!” You slapped his arm lightly before looping yours through it.

“You’re right I don’t want to know.” He shook his head. Cassian was always your comedic relief from your worries, and you were thankful that hadn’t changed. “Could you let Nesta borrow it?” He suggested cheekily.

You groaned disgustedly, “then I would have to burn it afterwards.”

“Good, I don’t want to see you in this gown again after tonight.”

“You’re not my father.” You teased as you two walked out to the balcony.

“Yeah but in my head you’ll always be like my little sister, no matter how much of a brat you are.” He nudged you.

“I hate that word,” you admitted, preparing yourself for flight.

He picked you up bridal style as if you weighed nothing in his arms. You adjusted the fabric so it wouldn’t fly up mid flight. “You know it’s true.” He said, his wings rustling, preparing himself.

You gave him a pointed look, “I’m considering it’s true.” Providing a pinch to his bicep. Without warning he took off into the night sky of Velaris, teasingly loosening his grip on you like he was going to drop you.

“If you keep hurting me, I’ll have to sic my mate on you.” A mischievous glint in his eyes.

“She probably knows you deserve it.” You watched the city below light up under the starry sky.

“Touché,” he smiled. He looked in thought as a silence fell over you two letting you admire Velaris below. You hadn’t had a chance to explore the city since your return, today would’ve been the day if it weren’t for the meeting in the court of nightmares. You could see the rainbow quarters perfectly from above and hear the music in the distance. The stars and moon were close to you as well, the music and being so close the light brought solace to any nerves you may have had. It prickled softly at your skin, seeping into your skin.

“I could guess one person who’ll be excited to see you.” Cassian broke the momentary silence.

“Don’t say his name,” you begged, seeing the angle he was trying to pull.

“Who, Azriel?” He grinned broadly.

“My peace is ruined,” you deadpanned, him chuckling at your disdain.

“Don’t let him being an asshole deter you. He’s been all bent out of shape since your absence. I think he’s just hurt deep down, and those little shadows that are always in his ear when you're around doesn’t help.”

You listened to Cassian ramble, confusion filling you. “You haven’t heard everything he's said to me.”

He relaxed a bit, soaring lower, the familiar townhouse now in your view. “I haven’t heard everything you've said to him either, and I don’t think it’s my business or my right to say anything on the matter given my record. Sometimes you say shit in the heat of the moment, sometimes you say shit to hide what’s actually going on underneath it all. One thing I know whenever it comes to you he’s always all up in arms. Not even Elain can do that to him. I didn’t even see him like that with Mor besides that one time.” He cleared his throat awkwardly, getting ready to land. You gripped his neck tighter, bracing yourself.

“When you’re not annoying, you’re actually wise y’know that?” You were in awe at his words. You weren’t sure how true his interpretation was, but for now it brought you slight comfort and ease about the Azriel situation. He landed with his wings slightly fluttering about, shaking off the wind of the night. He gently set you down, and you tried adjusting yourself now that you were standing. You went to fix the diadem, but Cass pushed your hand away lightly, doing it for you.

“I would hope so, year 600 is creeping up on me fast.”

You laughed softly, “you're about to be an old man.”

“Yeah let’s not talk about that, we’re talking about you remember?” He fixed a loose piece of hair that was out of place. “Try not to let him get to you too much tonight or at least channel it into you being all scary and brooding. I’ve missed you in court, it hasn't been the same.”

“Thank you Cass, and I’m sorry for not visiting.” You said sincerely.

Pulling you into his arms for an embrace, he sighed. “I figured you needed space. There’s nothing wrong with that. Rhys went to the cabin after he came out from under there. You just went to the day court for almost a decade long sabbatical.” He shrugged casually. “You can repay me by training again once you’re settled.” You nodded, pulling away. He wrapped his arm around you, “C’mon we have a party to get to.”

Lucien, Morrigan, and Azriel waited for you two. Azriel was the first to look up at the sound of your heels clicking on floor into the foyer of the townhouse. His hazel eyes darkened, eyebrows slightly narrowing, and jaw clenched at the sight of you. Your heart skipped a beat as his eyes traced your body, lingering at the top of the slits of the gown that could expose your hip bones at any sudden movement, before taking in your bare legs that were accentuated by the uncomfortable heels. You felt a warmth in your core that betrayed any ill feelings towards the spymaster, and you had to take a deep breath to calm yourself. You never knew a look would be able to enthrall you so much and ignite such feelings.

He was in his more formal fighting leathers, muscles at full display even underneath the leather, his hair neatly styled back, sciphons glowing under the light of the common room. He was god-like, you couldn’t deny that. Not rugged looking like Cassian or as regal as Rhys, but he was beautiful. You wanted to be sick at thinking these thoughts. His shadows whispered in his ears as he stared at you. You couldn’t discern the look in his eyes as Mor approached you.

“Oh my, my fathers gonna croak, I love it!” She squealed looking at the patterns on your dress. “But we do have to get going, Y/n winnow Cass?” She looked at the male beside you.

You were about to agree, but Azriel spoke up. “I think I should be with her. Just in case. Amren said they’re possibly at a brink of chaos.” His voice was gravelly, and your heart pounded erratically at the huskiness in his tone.

“O-okay? Cassian, let’s come on then.” She looked at you, your eyes were wide in surprise.

Azriel approached you, and his scent of cedar and mist filled your senses making you want to melt even more. You only cleared your throat, straightening your back as his scarred arm reached around you pulling you closer to him as you got ready to winnow. You could feel the rough pad of his thumb near the top of the slit of your dress making your mind blank. His shadows swirled around your wrists in greeting for the first time since you’ve seen him, and you could feel your cheeks heat up.

Mor and Cassian disappeared along with Lucien right behind them. Azriel’s body heat and movement of his hand on your hip was making you flushed, unable to concentrate. Then his lips were close to your ear and you could feel his cool breath on your neck.

“Whatever happens tonight, don’t take it to heart.” The grip on your hip had tightened, and you could feel the sheath of truth-teller in your lower back.

You looked up to him, even wearing your tallest heels he had towered over you, observing the deadly calm on his face. Your gaze lingered on his lips for a second before flirting back to his intense hazel orbs.

You said barely above a whisper, scared your voice would betray your words. “You forget I’m great at this game, shadowsinger.”

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[x] previous chapter [x] next chapter

Aaaaand we’re off to the races besties!! I had so much fun writing this part! I hope you’re excited as I am for the next one!!

Taglist: @tcris2020 @rachelnicolee @thelov3lybookworm @bubybubsters @mich0731 @t0uch-starved-h0e @penguins-are-the-best @justagingerliving @brekkershadowsinger @jiinmii

If I missed any of you just lmk!

[scorpioriesling]

Too Hot to Handle - Episode 6

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Characters featured: Reader, Feyre, Morrigan, Nesta, Gwyn, Elain, Emerie, Amren, Cassian, Lucien, Eris, Tarquin, Rhysand, Helion, Azriel, & Tamlin

Warning(s): None really, light suggestions

SR’s Note: Thank you always for your patience! All the support for this series is appreciated too. I know this one is shorter, but oh my god so much happens haha! Enjoy and I cannot wait to hear your feedback! Only 4 more episodes after this! (‘: Tags: @velarisdusk @lilah-asteria @starlightazriel @panther-girl-124 @cynthiesjmxazrielslover @paintedbyshadows

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"Y/N, I don't think I'm going to be able to do this," Lucien sighs heavily. Your eyes scan the room, taking in every inch of crimson-painted wall lined with various toys, devices, and... instruments of all kinds. You've practically done a 360 degree turn when your eyes meet Lucien's again, which are dark with growing lust as his gaze rakes over your form.

"Lucien -- stop. We have to be good tonight, remember? We just cost the group a lot of money last night..." You trail off as he draws closer, slowly closing the gap between the two of you. His scent of amber and earth is strong, the earlier smell of the ocean and shore long washed from him. You stare up into his enticing gaze as he hungrily gazes at your lips, his eyes trailing lower to your chest as it rises and falls rapidly with each breath. The fact that you chose to wear a rather low-cut neckline tonight was obviously not the best choice, had you only known.

"Lucien," you whisper as his fingers slide over the curves of your ass. He smirks, squeezing lightly, which makes you jump. You smack his shoulder and pull back, begrudgingly making your way to the balcony and away from his embrace -- much where you'd rather be, if Lana weren't involved.

"Ughhhhhh," he groans, trailing slowly behind you. You open the doors, allowing the cool breeze of the night in to ease the burn of his touch on your skin. He comes up behind you, this time placing his hands on either side of the railing, sure not to touch you. He dips his head after a few moments, resting it on the back of your shoulderblade as you continue to peer out at the night sky.

"Why don't we just end this retreat early and go about our lives outside of here?" He says, his muffled words from his lips against your skin.

"Hm?" You humm.

He draws back, placing a light kiss behind your ear. "I mean," his breath tickles your ear. "Why don't we just leave early, like, get out of here? Then we can do whatever we want," his fingers tickle your side, and you laugh, shrinking back against him. "... then me and my city girl wouldn't have to worry about any silly rules, right?" He says. You look behind you, meeting his gaze with a raised brow.

"Who's to say you aren't exactly how you were when you first came to this retreat, hm?" You tease. Lucien rolls his eyes, and you poke his side, causing him to chuckle. You slip from his embrace, slinking back inside, toward the sex chamber from Hell that you weren't allowed to indulge in.

Over your shoulder, you smirked at him, watching you from against the balcony railing. "You may not even like the city, anyway."

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Back at the villa, the entire group awaited anxiously. Since this new arrival had the choice of someone either in a relationship or previously single, this decision could be catastrophic for many, many reasons.

"I think it's a girl," Mor tuts. Helion sits stone-faced beside her, staring at the ground below. Feyre nervously twists her fingers beside Rhysand, who masks a cool calm face, but runs an anxious hand along her arm in an attempt at comfort. Unlike those in pairs, some of the single men are rather excited, hoping they'll be chosen.

"I would think so," Tarquin speaks up. "I mean, Azriel came last, so it would make sense to add in a girl next." He shrugs.

"Great," Cassian chuckles humorlessly. "One more chick for all of you guys to loose money over." Eris shoulder bumps him from the side.

"Dude, what if she's the hottest girl you've ever seen? You never know who's going to walk in here, or how you'd-"

"Good evening, guests." Lana intereupts.

The group quiets immediately. "Good evening, Lana."

"I am pleased to know that my couples have enjoyed their dates this evening, and I am happy to now inform you that my new arrival is ready for their date. They have selected their chosen guest for the evening as well." It seems as though the entire group holds their breath, the floodlights near the entrance of the villa blinking on as Lana pauses.

"Everyone, please welcome our new guest... Nesta."

Every head turns simultaneously, many of the guys reaching and looking over one another at the entrance to see a beautiful, ash-blonde woman walking gracefully in wearing a glittering silver floor-length gown. Her small, demure smile sent waves of unease through quite a few of the girls, who studied the guys with calculating eyes. Nesta seemed to assess each and every one, though supposedly she could make only one decision... for tonight, anyway.

"Hello everyone," she said politely, when she was close enough to the group. A few of the girls, Amren and Emerie, stood and welcomed her kindly -- the guys were either too entranced by her or had their jaws practically on the floor at this point. Cassian, for one, sat completely still, lips parted slightly, eyes wide as if he'd seen an angel for the first time.

"Nesta has chosen her date for tonight," Lana said, the group's chatter quieting once more. She stood near the edge of the group, her eyes lingering on Cassian for only a moment but landing on Eris, who winked at her, causing the small smile to only grow.

"Eris, please stand and join Nesta for your date on the beach."

"Nice!" Tamlin claps Eris on the shoulder, and Eris rises with a huge grin on his face. Cassian's mouth shuts immediately, his trance seeming to end and reality crashing back in. He folds his arms, taking a deep breath and swallowing hard.

"Hi, nice to meet you," Eris takes Nesta's hand, kissing the back of it softly. She laughs lightly, and the sound of it tickles Cassian's brain in a way he hadn't felt before. A way that made his blood boil.

Why. The Hell. Was Eris going on that date.

In that moment, he felt every nerve ending in his body. Every crackle of the fire in the pit before him felt as though it was raging inside his very heart-

"You alright there, Cass?"

No. He wouldn't be alright. Not until that Nesta, was his.

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"You're sure you don't want to get in? Not even to dip your toes in?" Lucien says teasingly. You roll your eyes at him through the vanity mirror, and he laughs in response. He stands from his crouched form beside the large, rose petal-laden bathtub, still just as enticing even in the morning light.

"Oh, I'm sure." You say, setting down the hairbrush and smoothing out your hair. "The shower did me just fine, and besides, we went all night without breaking one, single rule -- I'd hate for us to lose the group that $5,000 over a silly bath."

He stalks over, the soft pads of the villa slippers you'd both recieved quiet against the carpet. His hands rest on your shoulders, and he leans down, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

"We were very good last night, weren't we?" He says. You smile softly, your fingers delicately brushing up and down his forearm as yuor eyes meet through the mirror.

"We were..." You say, leaning back against him and resting your head against his robe-covered torso.

"I wonder how the dates went," he says, his fingers moving to rub small circles against your scalp. You hum softly against the sensation, thinking of nothing else besides Lucien in this moment, the relaxation, and the quality time you have gotten with him thus far.

"Mhm..." You hum. He chuckles, his fingers retreating from your hair as he tilts you upright on your stool once more.

"We should head back soon pretty girl," he says, kissing your cheek quickly. "Still have to meet the new arrival today, right?" He winks, moving to untie his robe and slip on his clothes.

If it were up to you, you'd stay in the sex den from Hell with clothes-less Lucien rather than going back to the group villa, where the new arrival would be, along with likely a whole. Lotta. Drama.

You sigh overdramatically, averting your eyes to spare yourself the impending ache between your thighs you knew you wouldn't be able to soothe if you allowed yourself a glance.

"Yep. I bet they're missing us so much."

･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

[thelov3lybookworm]

Remember me? (Part 11)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

Summary: Under the Mountain, Y/n met the High Lord of the Night Court, Rhysand. She was scared of him, but soon she found out that he wasn't who he pretended to be. Despite her efforts at not falling in love with him, she fails. It's not that bad as he loves her back.

But now he's gone, and she's left alone with nothing.

Except for a very adorable reminder of him.

•○●⛦●○•

Tw: secret pregnancy, none more that I can think of, so let me know if I need to add anything.

A/n: honestly dedicated to @thehighladywrites because we love High Lord Eris in this house 😏😌🫶🏻

also, i feel like this timeline ca be confusing because i honestly dont know what im doing lol so just so you all are aware, this part is supposed to be based on the time just before feyre has fled the night court 😉

(Not edited as i am going to slee, sorry! ignore any mistakes ❣️)

•○🌑○•

The curtains were parted to let in a gentle autumn breeze which toyed with the ends of Y/n's hair, and she huffed gently when she felt someone watching her.

She finished adjusting the covers around the sleeping Fin, taking her time to smooth out the creases before she straightened, turning to find Eris leaning against the doorway, his arms folded across his chest, his eyes trained on the softly snoring boy on the bed.

And he was shirtless.

Y/n told herself it was not that big of a deal, that she had seen plenty of men naked, but seeing that pale expanse of skin covering those hard earned muscles, something shifted in her belly.

He glanced at her, blinking when she stepped forward. He straightened when Y/n continued walking forward, and his arms fell at his sides when she passed by him.

Her brows furrowed as she glanced at him and found a blush covering his face.

"Eris? Are you alright? Is your magic malfunctioning or something?"

He shook his head, still standing in the doorway. She paused to turn an watch him.

"You look a little red, you know. Are you sure you don't have a fever?"

He shook his head again, glancing back at Fin once before he inclined his head towards the corridor leading away from the boy's room.

To say Y/n was concerned and confused would be an understatement.

Eris closed the door to Fin's room gently, then grasped Y/n's hand, hesitantly, tugging her towards a large window nearby.

Y/n whirled towards him the moment he stopped walking. "Eris? What is going on?"

He didn't say anything, simply pulled out a piece of paper from the pocket of the pants that hung dangerously low on his hips.

Y/n's frustrations finally got the best of her. "Are we playing charades, Eris? Or did someone cut off your tongue?"

He sighed. "I did not want to be the bearer of bad news, but I guess I still am as I brought you the letter. It's from Feyre. Forgive me for reading it, but it was open when it fell onto my desk."

Y/n's heart slowed down in fright. It... It could also be something good, right? It didn't have to be about her leaving Rhysand. It could be about him getting better and apologizing...

Y/n knew how stupid it was, really, to hope for that.

And even if that hope had really come true, Feyre was responsible enough to not send the letter practically in the middle of the night.

Y/n opened the folded piece of paper, her eyes moving frantically as she read it and searched for words that would soothe her worries.

It was all in vain.

Y/n, I can't live here anymore. I will soon be winnowing to autumn with Nyx. I hope you don't mind.

Y/n suppressed the rage that reared its head in her chest, taking a deep breath as her eyes rose to meet Eris's.

His eyes held the same sadness she felt and was sure were displayed in her own eyes.

"I have weakened the wards enough for both of them to come through without any harm coming to them, and have already ordered the servants to prepare quarters for them to live in. You don't have to worry about much."

Grateful, Y/n moved without realising what she was doing. One moment, she was standing facing him, the cool autumn air curling around her, and the next, she was surrounded by warmth, her face buried in his shoulder, her arms thrown around her neck. He stiffened, but moments later, he relaxed with a heavy sigh, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Thank you." She mumbled onto his welcoming skin, tightening her hold, knowing she shouldn't.

She felt him nod, and she pulled back to glance at him.

If there was any chance Y/n had been mistaken before about him blushing, she wasn't now.

He definitely was blushing, as red as the colour of the leaves in the court he ruled.

"It- it's nothing."

Despite the heavy news that they had received, Y/n felt her lips curl. "Are you blushing, Vanserra?"

He huffed. "Of course not. Why would I blush?"

"You know," Y/n began as se stopped leaning on him and straightened, though his hands tightened on her waist, as if unwilling to let go. Y/n chose to remain silent on the matter. "It is not nice to lie. Did your mother not teach you?"

He leaned his head closer, a smirk forming on his lips. "She might have, but she also focused more on how to treat the female you love the right way. Must've forgotten about the lying lessons."

Y/n blinked, her face going hot. But before she could say anything, she felt Eris stiffen under her arms. He pulled away instantly, tearing his hands through his hair.

"She's here."

Y/n nodded, her hands falling heavily to her sides.

"Let's go welcome them."

•○🌑○•

Part 12

Remember me Taglist: @holb32 @awoa1 @cleverzonkwombatsludge @luvmoo @we-were-beautiful @eerievixen @zoe2 @fussel9913 @j-pendragonx @thesnugglingduck @jesssicapaniagua @devilsnightz @esposadomd @littleffawn @mandowhatnow @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @princesslolaasworld @asemkta @cat-or-kitten @txzii @bunnyredgirl @theofficialmadman @leeknows-wife @aria-chikage @amygdtjhddzvb @azriels-mate123 @inky-clover @kemillyfreitas @12358 @justdreamstars @cuethedepession @princessvesta @fides25 @nocasdatsgay @acourtofbatboydreams @stained-glass-eyes0708 @glaciuswduo @wallacewillow0773638 @cassie6392 @quackitysdrugdealer @txzii @anuttellaa @coisas-da-dani @hnyclover @sassyslytherinshai @historygeekqueen

General Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686 @cassie6392

Eris taglist: @kennedy-brooke @hnyclover @minnieoo @sidrapotter

[cressidagrey]

I breathe flames each time I talk - Chapter 1

Summary:

The story of how Oriana Fireborn Belmont finally meets her mate's family.

Also the story of how Rhysand, The High Lord of the Night Court, finally recognises that by the cauldron, there is no fury like a female scorned.

Azriel would just like everybody to get along.

Warnings:

Rhys Bashing, Serious Injury

Notes:

I put a lot of world building into this. If you don't recognise it from canon, I probably invented. Or I forgot that canon existed.

(thanks to @firefly-graphics for the super pretty dividers!)

There weren’t many things that shocked Rhysand, High Lord of the Night Court. The sight of his brother, brutal bruises painting his face after what should have been a simple retrieval mission in the Winter Court… that did it. 

It had been supposed to be a meeting to exchange intelligence on whatever was currently going on with Tamlin in the Spring Court. 

Instead…it had apparently turned into…a��mess . 

“I was caught in an avalanche,” Azriel said, his voice harsh. “Rhys, I told you that it probably wasn’t gonna end well. There was nobody there…and that avalanche wasn’t natural.”

Nobody but a trap waiting for Azriel.

That was the last thing that he wanted to hear. Peace in Pyrithian was hanging on by a thread, somehow seeming all the more precarious to Rhys, ever since Nyx had been born. 

Maybe it was the instinct of a young father…maybe it was something else, but he couldn’t dare to not trust them. 

And so he had wanted to keep his allies close, but the ones that kept away from it all…even closer.

“Right. And I told you that this was important,” Rhys responded just as sharply. “I’ll write to Kallias. And you should probably do something against the blood that is currently dripping on my carpet,” he said pointedly. Azriel wiped at his split lip. Rhys opened his mouth to tell Azriel to go see Madja damnit, but Azriel beat him to it.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it,” Azriel’s voice was dripping with disdain, and Rhys opened his mouth to respond, but Azriel’s shadows were already converging onto him. 

Mother help him. 

His brother was gone, shadow travelled away, before Rhys had even dismissed him. 

He sighed as he sat back down at his desk, fingers tapping against the dark wood of it. 

There were so many moving pieces and so little time. 

And still, his mind turned towards his brother. Not Cassian, who seemed as content as Rhys had ever seen him with Nesta in the House of Wind…but Azriel . 

Azriel, who had, ever since that Solstice nearly 3 years ago, pulled back from him. Who had still not forgiven him for what Rhys had done. 

At the start, Rhys had thought that Azriel would get over himself in a few weeks. 

Azriel was infatuated with Elain. It would be a few weeks and then it all would be back to how it was before. 

Oh, but he had been so wrong. 

He had not been wrong about what he did. He hadn’t. 

Rhys had done what needed to be done.

They couldn’t afford a fucking war with Autumn and/or with Day or a blood duel that would be called because Azriel had wanted to…had decided that seducing Elain was his fucking right . 

It wasn’t, it hadn’t been, it never would be and Rhys had needed to stop that from happening. 

So he had. 

So he had ordered his brother away from Feyre’s sister. An order, not from one brother to another, but from The High Lord of the Night Court. 

Azriel had…listened. 

The question was just if the price Rhys paid for it, hadn’t been far steeper than he had realised. 

If the prize hadn’t been his brother’s…happiness. 

Azriel hadn’t rebelled against the order. 

And at the beginning…Rhys had seen that as…well, as another point in his favour. If Azriel was really in love with Elain, he would have fought against the order. Azriel hadn’t. So Azriel had been infatuated, but not in love. 

Azriel had done nothing. Azriel had stayed coldly detached. He had even attended the wedding of Elain and Lucien, nothing but sincere words for the happy couple. Not a mention of what had gone down between him and Rhys…to anybody. 

Elain was happy with Lucien. So especially now, when they were married for close to a year…when it was clear that the mating bond had worked out for them…Rhys had expected Azriel to soften. At least a little bit. 

To realise that what Rhys had done was right. To understand why he had done it. 

He had waited for that. And waited. And nothing of that sort had happened. 

Azriel hadn’t budged one inch. Maybe Rhys shouldn’t even be surprised about that. Azriel had always been…stubborn as a mule.  

Azriel did his work. Efficient as always. But Azriel only came to as many family dinners as Rhys outright ordered him to attend, and otherwise kept away from anything that was…well, personal. 

His mind, which had once been an open book to Rhys, few secrets kept between them…nowadays it was guarded. An iron wall around it, slamming down whenever Rhys wandered even just in the direction of anything that wasn’t work-related. 

Azriel kept quiet. Kept on moping after three years, regardless of how much Rhys tried to draw him out of it. 

Morrigan finding Emerie and being happy with her…Rhys had thought that maybe that would pull him out of it. But Azriel had only wished her all the happiness in the world, sincerity dripping from every word. 

He was sincerely happy for everybody around him…and kept Rhys and the rest of their family as far removed from him as he could get them. 

Rhys had tried to order him to come to dinner with Elain and Lucien, a part of his mind hoping that Azriel would finally have enough and his temper would flare, his magic would crackle and he would attack Rhys. Maybe then they would be able to clear the air. Maybe if Azriel just got pissed off at him…maybe it would be better afterwards. 

Azriel didn’t. His temper stayed even, especially for him. He sat through that dinner, even let Lucien have a few barbs at him and then even helped him, even when nobody thanked him for that. 

And then Azriel disappeared to cauldron knew where somewhere which he clearly much preferred over the presence of anybody else these days. 

That had been a few months ago. It hadn’t changed any since then. 

Cassian tried to play the mediator of sorts between them. Cassian tried. Cassian teased Azriel about a non-existent lover and Azriel took it in good humour, only shutting down the theories when they were outlandish. 

Or when it was Gwyn. 

Rhys had really thought that that…that could have worked out. 

If Azriel just gave her a chance…if he just opened himself up for the option of it…but Azriel was as stubborn as a mule. Azriel wasn’t interested, that was so very apparent when he had slipped into his brother’s mind. He liked Gwyn as a friend. But there was no attraction there. 

None whatsoever. 

And even the suggestion had been shut down by Azriel so harshly, that there was no question what he thought about this. 

None. 

Azriel had cut him out of his private life. Built a wall around it that kept Rhys out…and Rhys had no fucking idea how to bridge it anymore. 

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Master is coming. It was the only warning she got because then Azriel was already materialising in their kitchen. 

“ Sweetling .” It only took her seconds to take in the bruises painting his face, the blood that was dripping down his split lip…Seconds for her to fit herself under his arms, to half drag him into one of their kitchen chairs. 

It wasn’t the first time that Azriel came home to Oriana bleeding and hurt in some way. Though most of the time, it was things that she could patch up easily. She couldn’t do anything against the bruises, but she could clean out scrapes and ply him with pain potions. 

But today, his usually olive skin was nearly ashen-faced, his jaw tight as she got him to sit down. “You don’t look good,” she said quietly. 

“It’s fine,” Azriel promised her, his voice rough as gravel and she cupped his cheek, turning his face. His eyes closed as she very gently prodded the scrapes at one side, the split lip…the dried blood. 

“It’s really not fine,” she disagreed. “Anything else?” 

He shuddered, hands clutching the fighting leathers he still wore. He started taking it off, and she took over from him after just a few seconds, sliding the buckles open, taking off the leathers, piece after piece. 

His torso was painted every which shade of blue and black, violet…maroon. 

“You should have seen a healer,” she said quietly. It looked… excruciating. She couldn’t say if there were any broken bones. It didn’t matter. It must be painful anyway. So painful. 

“I missed you,” he murmured, closing his eyes as she wet a clean dish towel at the sink, making sure that it was warm and gently started cleaning the blood off him. The split lip stopped bleeding sluggishly after a moment. 

“Still should have seen a healer,” she quipped.

"But then it would have taken longer until I came home," he responded, even through his pain and she sighed.

He didn’t even flinch away from her touch, even when he had every fucking right to it. If anything, he leaned into it. 

Leaned into the pain that she was sure she was creating, even when she tried to be as gentle as she possibly could be. 

“What happened?” she finally asked quietly. He didn’t often talk to her about his job. Nearly never. Whenever pushed either, because this was nothing that he needed to know. This was nothing that she needed to be aware of. This was a line he had created because he didn’t want her to touch any of his work that was so very….so very harsh.

She accepted that because she knew that for him she had become a sort of island in the middle of everything, untouched by it. 

And it was better that day. She didn’t wonder what he did. As long as he came home to her. That was all that mattered. 

“Bad intelligence. Got caught in an avalanche,” he murmured. “I knew it wasn’t going to work, but did Rhys believe me, of course not,” he muttered under his breath. Since they had consummated the mating bond…Azriel had opened up to her, in some ways. He still knew more about Oriana’s life than she would ever know about his past, but she knew that it didn’t mean that he didn’t love her. She knew that for him it was difficult to open up because he expected everybody around him to use any knowledge about them to hurt him. 

Still, Oriana wasn’t stupid. And she had put together her own version of Azriel’s past through all the snippets he had shared with her. 

And so she knew that Rhys and Cassian were his brothers. And that Rhys was short for Rhysand and that that was the fucking High Lord of the Night Court. 

Who was still as annoying as he had been two centuries ago. 

And somebody that Azriel both loved and also loathed sometimes, especially when he decided that he knew better than everybody around him. 

Cassian…Cassian seemed more interested in who Azriel was seeing romantically than anything else if Oriana could believe the stories Azriel told. 

Hyacinth had been the latest possibility. Hyacinth had found the whole thing hilarious and spent the last night out dancing teasing Evander with it.  

“I think this calls for an early night,” Oriana said as she handed Azriel one of the pain-reducing potions that she kept stocked, watching carefully how he rubbed his temple. 

She got out the salve she had bought at an apothecary a few weeks ago, squeezing some of it on her fingers and carefully kneaded them in Azriel’s neck, just there where his neck met his skulls. 

He shuddered, though she knew that the heat the salve created would loosen the tightness that he had there in his muscles. He could get horrid headaches. 

She had learnt that too since the two of them lived together. Like a whole other list of details, like that he loves every form of berries he could get away with, his sweet tooth was so bad that on occasion he ate lumps of sugar straight out of jar…he absolutely adored doting on her in that quiet, calculated way of his and he had a real problem with giving up any sort of control in the bedroom. Her pleasure seemed his singular goal, his own just a byproduct of it. 

“You are the best thing that ever happened to me,” he murmured, pressing his head into the soft flesh of her belly. 

He found so many different ways to say I love you than to utter these three words to her. 

You are the best thing that ever happened to me. Coming home to you is the best part of my day. Every time I wake up to you, I am so grateful that you are there. 

Sentence after sentence, said in that earnest, sincere way of his and Oriana squirrelled every single one of them away, like precious gems. 

“Better?” she asked and he hummed. “Alright. Eat some of the sandwiches I made and then we’ll go to bed.”

That’s what they did. 

He collapsed into their bed, and she pulled the blankets around them, careful not to tangle them in his wings, gently running her fingers through his hair. She had only cut it for him a few weeks ago and it was only just starting to curl again. She was quite sure she had done a hack job at it, but he had seemed pleased with it. But then she was sure she could dye his hair bright pink and make him completely bald on one side and he would still kiss her and tell her thank you.

She pressed a kiss to his head, and then she fell asleep herself, no more worry about Azriel being somewhere else, because he was right there, next to her. 

It was his retching that woke her up. 

She immediately reached out, feeling his skin burning up underneath his fingertips. 

“Azriel?” she asked quietly, hearing more retching, immediately sitting up to find him leaning over the edge of their bed. 

“Sorry,” he was shuddering as he brought out the words and she opened her mouth to respond, but by then she saw the blood that was trickling out of her mouth, another sound of retching and then he fell to the side like somebody cut all the string that held him up. She managed to catch him at the last moment, her eyes wide, ice-cold fear clawing at her heart. 

She could see the shadows dancing around him worriedly, taking her weight from her, helping her to get him to lay back against the pillows. 

She could hear them call for him, but getting no response.  

“Azriel!” she tried, panic apparent in her voice and getting no response. 

He was unconscious, knocked out. After vomiting up blood. She had never seen anything like that. 

She cursed. 

Master is hurt, The shadows stated the obvious. 

She jumped out of the bed, tugging the first best dress she could find over her head, forcing her feet into shoes. 

“I know. Can you bring me into the mountain?” she asked the shadows. Alternatively, she would need to get out of her ward boundaries and winnow to the ward boundaries of the mountain. 

We can, Mistress.

“One of you stay with him, please,” she requested, holding out a hand for the shadows, as she cleared her mind as best as she could, taking one last back to Azriel, so pale, so still, and then thinking as intently as she could of their living quarters in the mountain. 

It was a whole lot less smooth than when Azriel did it for the two of them, but then he was the shadowsinger, and Oriana was only his mate. She could ask, he could command. 

But they were willing to listen to her, to drag her through wards she had placed on her own, to take the magic that she offered them and turn them into the strength they needed as they flung her across Velaris and shoved her into the mountain. At least it felt that way. 

She landed in their private living quarters, surprised to find Kiran, Toron and Samson sitting there, playing cards. And drinking. The scent of Fireale was unmistakenly

“She’s really here, I am not just seeing things, right?” Toron said, sounding like he had definitely drunk more than a little bit of their self-brewed Fireale. 

“No,” Kiran muttered. “That’s Oriana. What are you doing here? Where did you come from?” her older brother demanded, slightly slurring. 

“Are you drunk?” she gave back because she had never seen him quite like that. He just shrugged. Samson still stared at her wide-eyed, waving his hand in her direction, like he wasn’t quite sure if she wasn’t a figment of his imagination.

“Where’s Enya?” she demanded. She really didn’t have time for that. 

“Working,” Samson answered, nodding sagely, and nearly tipping to the side. 

Thank the cauldron for that at least. “Great,” she muttered, flinging herself in the direction of the door.  That was something. She was going to check the infirmary first, and then Enya’s bedroom, when she wasn’t there. 

She knew these halls, knew the mountain better than anything else, and so it only took her minutes, before she reached it, pushing open the door without even bothering to announce herself.

“Oriana?” Enya asked, sounding shocked, having risen from her chair as Oriana came running. 

“I am kidnapping you. I mean I hope you come willingly but otherwise, I am kidnapping you,” she blurted out, the shadows coming to a stop behind her. “Enya, I need your help.” 

It spoke of her sister's unflinching trust in her that she only rose and reached for the bag that she kept stocked behind her desk and grasped her coat. 

“What happened?” she asked, as she came around the desk. 

“He vomited blood, Enya. I don’t know who else to…He was fine and then he wasn’t and he lost consciousness and…” she blubbered. the panic that she had tried to keep at bay, threatening to overwhelm her. Azriel. Azriel . 

“Let’s go then,” Enya answered, turning in the direction of the door, but they didn’t have time for that. She grasped her sister’s arm,  letting the shadows take them both. 

Home. Home. Home. 

They landed in the bedroom, Oriana staggering at the impact, the shadows trying their best to keep her upright as Enya looked like she had lost all colour in her face, her skin was the same black colour as Oriana’s own looking decisively grey. 

“If you vomit, I am sorry,” Oriana forced out, pulling in a harsh breath on her own.

“What was that?” Enya asked, staring at the shadows that swirled around the room, then at Oriana, then at Azriel, on whom the shadows seemed to converge. 

“ Shadowsinger ,” she breathed and Oriana just stayed silent. Managing a nod. 

Yes. That. 

They were stupidly rare. She herself had done a double take the first time she had met Azriel. Nearly mythical in nature. She had never once met one before. So shadow travelling…like she had just done…dragging Enya through two sets of wards, was highly unlikely. She knew that. 

But her sister shook herself out of it, already taking in Azriel with an analytical glance, crossing the room, her hands slightly glowing. 

“You, sit down at his head,” Enya snapped. “I don’t need you fainting while I try to work.”

Oriana did as her sister asked, knitting her fingers through Azriel’s short curls, her whole body shaking with fear and nervousness that suddenly seemed to make an appearance. She didn’t even know where it was suddenly coming from. 

Just that it slapped down onto her heart, as she swallowed to keep tears at bay. 

She had gotten Enya here. She wasn’t alone. She had done that. Azriel was getting help. 

So why did it feel like her whole world was caving in around her? 

Her sister’s magic was so unlike her own, thanks to the High Fae ancestry that Enya didn’t have. But Oriana knew it, had felt it move around her own more times than she could count. It was safe. she knew that. 

“He has inner bleeding. Quite extensive,” Enya said quietly and Oriana forced down the panic that wanted to rise in her throat. 

Enya’s eyes met her own. “It will be fine,” she said quietly. “He will be fine, Oriana.” There was promise there in her eyes, glowing like coals in her face. “I swear to you. He’ll be fine,” she repeated again. Oriana just nodded, closing her eyes. 

It was all she could do. 

She kept quiet as Enya worked, pouring whatever potion her sister told her down Azriel’s throat. She tried not to shudder at the sight of blood-flecked metal as Enya worked, Azriel’s blood all over the sheets of their bed, all over her dress where it had dripped down. 

Time seemed to stretch and warp and finally, Enya stepped back. 

“I am going to bandage him…and then you’ll need to let him go because I going to put him into a healing trance. Just for a day,” Enya said quietly. “Are his wings gonna be alright with him laying on them?” she asked, and Oriana managed a nod, carefully stretching out the wings so they covered the bed. They seemed strangely cold to her touch, not moving like they usually did to respond to her touch. 

“Thank you,” she whispered as she worked, as Enya gathered up the blood-soaked linen that Oriana knew she was going to need to boil to get the blood out.  

“Of course,” her sister responded. Oriana pulled up the ugliest blanket she had ever seen from the end of the bed, covering Azriel with it, straightening out his arms and then leaning forward to press a kiss against his forehead. She could feel the even, deep breathing of him, the warm puff of air…the pulse underneath her fingertips…

She stepped back. Enya raised her hands and the whole bed was enveloped in a green dome just seconds later, burning brightly for just a moment before settling in a subtle glow. 

“He’ll be fine,” Enya repeated. “You saved his life with your quick action.”

“No, you saved his life,” she corrected her sister.” “Thank you. You didn’t need to do this.”

She really hadn’t needed to. She hadn’t needed to let Oriana and the shadows drag her into Velaris.  

“You married Wynstan for me,” Enya said at that moment and she stared startled at her sister, who grasped her hand in hers. “You endured decades of being married to that idiot for me. You lost your ability to have children, just so that I wouldn’t need to get married.” She opened her mouth to protest but Enya shook her head. “This…” she waved to Azriel. “This…. This is the least I can do for you. He’s yours, Oriana. He’s family .”

She swallowed.

“It’s not your fault,” she finally whispered. “What happened…it’s not your fault. It was on Wynstan. It was on…Enya had saved her life. She had done everything she could. But even Enya hadn’t been able to…

“I know,” Enya said quietly. “Still. You always wanted children.”

She had. When she was young, she had wanted them. And then she had married Wynstan and first, he had wanted to wait, to finish his mastery, even when Oriana would have been fine with starting to try immediately. And then when he finally wanted kids, their marriage had been more than questionable. Questionable enough that OOriana didn’t want to put a child anywhere near it. Didn’t want to give Wynstan anything he could yield as a weapon against her. 

And then he had taken even the option from her. 

“I made my peace with it,” she said softly, watching Azriel lay there, still, silent, but gloriously alive. She hadn’t had any other option. Still, when she saw Cyyrus with his three children, so close in age, a miracle in itself… “He doesn’t care,” she finally said quietly. Azriel didn’t care. “I don’t think he thinks that he could be a good father,” she said softly. She thought that that was the main reason why he didn’t care that she couldn’t give him children. Why he was so alright about it just being the two of them. He seldom thought that he even deserved her. “But he would be. He would be the best. ”

“That’s not the only way to have children, you know,” Enya said quietly. She knew. Under the mountain, adoption was… if there was a child in need of a family, that was never a problem. But they had rules for that kind of thing and one of the biggest ones, the unspoken one, would be that the child would be raised in the community in the mountain. 

“I know. But that only works in the mountains. Not out here,” she said with a shake of her head. 

Enya watched her for a moment. 

“You know…if I have learned anything then that…Fate has a funny way of working. If you are supposed to have a child…Fate will provide. One way or another.” 

It was a nice thought. 

“And now, we need to get some alcohol into you, because you look like you are going to faint,” Enya said briskly. “You keep Fireale around?”

“I don’t think Healers are supposed to be proponents of alcoholism,” Oriana said weakly, but her sister just ignored her, dragging her into the living room and depositing her on the couch.

“I am not a proponent for alcoholism, I am a proponent of you not fainting,” Enya said drily as she pushed a glass filled to the brim into her hands. “You aren’t feeling it, but you are shaking. And your magic is leeching all over the damn place,” Enya said pointedly and Oriana stared in front of her, only now seeing the sparks that seemed to come off her. 

The shadows around her throat pressed gently, just a touch, never constricting. 

Master will be fine, Mistress. Thank to you and the healer.

[rowaelinsdaughter]

cold food

first feysand x reader!!! i made it modern!au cause i love writing about it. hope you like this.

WARNINGS; very suggestive

"this not…"

“neither this one”

“no”

you sigh and set aside the different sets of lingerie. you had been in your favorite store for an hour and you couldn't find any outfit you liked. a shop assistant approaches you and asks if you need help. you nod and thanking her the girl leaves. your phone rings indicating that you have received a message. you open your bag to take out your phone and a smile appears on your lips when you see that you have a message from feyre.

fey❤️‍🩹 what are you doing doll? [name] i'm shopping, but I think I'll finish soon fey❤️‍🩹 perfect. we are going to arrive a little later. keir just arrived wanting to talk with us, ugh, i can't wait for him to leave so we can get out of here. [name] don't worry, you'll see that it won't take you long to get home. I love you. fey❤️‍🩹 i love you too doll.

you turn off your phone and see that the shop assistant has left you three more outfits. one white, one light blue and one light lilac. perfect. you pay with the card they gave you (after much insistence) you go to your car and return home.

you come home and hide the new outfits in a drawer in your closet. you open rhys' closet and grab a sweatshirt and some pants from feyre's closet. you go down to the living room and decide to order food at home. you turn on the tv and open the food app and order from rhys' favorite restaurant.

just as you finish paying, you hear voices and the door opens revealing feyre and rhys. you get up from the couch and run to the entrance, jumping into rhys's arms, you feel his arms wrap around your body to keep you from falling.

"hi to you too"

you move away from his neck and place a soft kiss on his lips. rhys lets you go to change and you kiss feyre, who has already taken off her shoes and jacket. her hands cup your face and your arms surround her waist, pulling her towards you.

feyre pulls away and rests her forehead against yours.

"hi"

“hi,” you smile, “i ordered food delivery. why don’t you go get changed and let’s go to the living room and wait?”

"that seems perfect to me"

feyre goes up to your room and you go to the living room. when you enter you find rhys, dressed in comfortable clothes, sitting on the couch. you loved seeing rhys in a suit but what you like most is seeing him in home clothes. comfortable. without the need to pretend who he is not.

you walk over to the couch and sit on his lap. you wrap your arms around his neck and his hands grab your waist, slipping under your sweatshirt. you stroke his neck and hear a purr come out of him.

“mmm you are worse than a cat”

rhys opens his eyes and his arms wrap around your waist, pulling you closer to his chest. you notice his lips leave kisses on your neck and a soft moan leaves your lips. you notice other lips on the other side of your neck and feyre approaches your back and her hands slip through your sweatshirt to caress your breasts. another louder moan leaves your lips. rhys separates himself from your neck and approaches your ear, whispering.

“let's go to the room”

epilogue

“well, in the end the food was cold”

“yes, but we have eaten better”

“RHYSAND!!!”

tagging; @danikamariewrites @thehighladywrites @shadowdaddies