#this was so lovely I had to rewind a bit and watch it again

[kurikive]

sticky | kim minji

things between you and minji are... sticky this summer.

— childhood friends to lovers, summer trip, soccer player!reader, slowish burn, lowkey bromance, futchish READER 💜

contains : cursing, kinda slight makeoutism, a lot of bro and dude, just a little bit of angst but i promise its literally nothing, NOT proofread at all i am tireeeddd

wc: 13.7k words

inspired by : Sticky — KISS OF LIFE

You're not really sure how you got here.

You’re watching the sunset at the beach with Kim Minji, your hand in between hers and the sand below you, your face two inches from her own, your lips two seconds away from colliding.

Actually, let's rewind.

It’s summer! It's been 3 long years of being away in Seoul. A soccer scholarship was always great, and you were having a fantastic time with your teammates and classmates, but you were completely burnt out after these exhausting last 6 months.

Korea University Anam Tigers proudly win 3rd place in the U-League for the first half of the season. 5 wins, 2 draws, 3 losses. Not too bad. You did better last year, but you're sure you'll recover and bounce back during the second half. Or maybe it was the alcohol and smell of grilled beef that was making you emotional.

After you finalize your amazing speech with a broken voice and a tear threatening to leave your eye, you realize you're actually quite drunk. The applause of your teammates startles you, and they may be mocking your sentimental state with their laughs and ‘aww’s and teasing pushes, but they cheer you on anyway.

“Han Y/N!” One of your teammates, Hsu Nientsu, also pretty tipsy, nudges your left arm as you sit back down, “Don't get so sensitive with us now!”

“Our Y/Nie gets emotional when drunk, huh?” Central striker Ahn Yujin, leader of the team, pinches one of your red cheeks from across the table, action to which you groan at.

“I just…” You sigh, drowsy and teary eyes block your vision yet you can still tell all your teammates are looking at you. “I really love our team and want us to do our best…” You make a mental note to never get drunk with your team again when they coo at you for a second time.

“Well then,” Oh Haewon starts pouring you another shot (she usually would make you pour it yourself, but your flimsy arms and hung head bring out the instinct to take care of you instead), “Let's climb up the leaderboard for Leftie!” She declares as she leaves the small glass of soju on your side of the table.

You hate the nickname. Nientsu came up with it the first year of your scholarship because when you were supposed to be in central midfield you spent most of your time on the left side of the field, for some reason. Her broken Korean and teasing nature muttered the name in an attempt to mock you and everyone started repeating after. You can't complain much about it. It stuck too well.

You take the shot and grimace at the bitter taste of alcohol. You're still not used to it even after countless team dinners.

Won Haneul, your roommate, best friend and goalkeeper, laughs at your expression. The other girls have already picked up their own conversation, yet she seems very entertained at your drunken state, “Unnie, are you sure you don't want to go?” You've told her multiple times to drop the formalities, it's a one year difference; she keeps refusing.

You look to your right and you (hardly) see her looking at you worried, but still smiling. It takes a couple seconds for you to process her words. “I… I think I should go.” You slur, you're sure you'll die if you take another shot.

Haneul nods, understanding as always. “Guys, I think me and Y/N unnie are gonna head back now!” You hear your teammates complain and whine but you can't make out anything they're saying.

“I'm too drunk!” You try your best to scold them, “And I have my last class tomorrow…”

A soccer scholarship didn't mean you were just in Seoul to play soccer and get drunk with your friends. You also had to study and attend classes, like everyone else. Maybe you would've had it easier if you had chosen Physical Education as your major. But no, you had chosen Media and Communication for some reason.

At least it was the last class before break.

“Go then! Quick! Get away!” You hear Jung Sunhye drunkenly shoo you two away. It makes you giggle. You wave goodbye to your teammates with your frail arms, it makes you look like a car rental inflatable. You hear a chorus of ‘sleep well’s and ‘Bye Y/N’s.

Haneul holds you as you walk out of the BBQ place, and then a cold wave of air hits you right when you realize you have to go up the hill to get to your dorm. You don't know if the chill you get in your spine is from the cool late night air or the dread of borderline hiking while drunk.

“Haneul, I'm sorry.” You don't even want to look at her in fear of getting dizzy. You're only a few steps up the hill but you're already breathing a little heavy. However, your apologetic expression is enough for her to understand your feelings.

“It's okay, unnie!” She's such a joy to have around not only as a teammate but as a friend. You hope her kindness never leads her to getting taken advantage of. You and the other girls would ruin the life of whoever could even dare.

“I'm really grateful for you, y’know?” You probably shouldn't talk while you're rapidly growing out of breath, but you're already sentimental.

“I'm flattered.” She says with a light laugh while pushing you from behind, making it easier for you to walk upwards.

“Are you going back to Suwon this summer?” You ask after a while of more heavy steps. Haneul had also gotten a scholarship and moved from Suwon to Seoul, therefore getting to be roommates with you.

“Mhm! Gonna go see my parents.” Her voice turns a little softer and you notice even when you're mostly out of your conscious mind. “What about you, unnie? Are you gonna stay here?”

It's been three years since you left your hometown and replaced the ocean with the river. Three years since you left your friends behind. Three years since leaving your mom and dad.

Of course you missed them. How could you not? It's not like you were avoiding them, the last summers were just filled to the brim with practice and studying and everything got tangled and you didn't even leave time for yourself.

That's over, though. You can already see yourself on the shore.

And then you're at the bus terminal. Hands shaky and heavy steps, just like the ones you took walking up the hill of your dorm building. You carry your backpack at your front and hold your gym bag on your left hand. You wait in line to step inside your bus and you think you're ready to fall asleep for the whole ride.

But once you're settled in your seat, your thoughts leave you restless.

There's a fear in the back of your mind that your friends will treat you differently when you arrive.

You've been gone for 3 years, and you talk slightly less now. But the group chat is still active, and you talk with them when you're allowed the time to. It's not like you've gone completely radio silent and disappeared from their lives.

It's just scary to be back.

But the scariest thing by far is the fear of being proven wrong. The fear of still liking her.

See, ever since you were a kid running around with a ball between your feet, you've had a crush on Kim Minji.

Neighborhood pretty girl. Class president in elementary, middle and high school. Best grades in your year. The most crushable girl ever.

You remember the first day you met her. You actually think about it a lot.

You were 7, playing soccer with your friend Gyuvin on the beach at sunset hours. There was no real goal to kick the ball towards, you were just trying to steal the ball from each other and keep it as long as possible. But then Gyuvin gets a little too close to taking the ball, and in panic you pass it to your right. 

But there's no one to your right. And you realize you've just kicked it towards three girls about your same age building a sandcastle.

You see the ball roll away further and further away from you and Gyuvin, and closer and closer to the castle, and the girls don't seem to notice.

You don't know why you're frozen. You could've stopped the ball by now if you had run after it. Gyuvin notices your lack of movement and becomes the one who shouts instead, “BALL!”

It seems to wake both the girls and you up from your daze, and suddenly you're running as fast as you can to catch the ball before it collides with the sand clump. And you manage to catch it.

You had thrown yourself into the sand, and the ball gets stopped by your arms. But your head crashes into the sandcastle instead. It doesn't collapse completely, and it didn't hurt that much, but it suddenly knocked you out for a few seconds.

You hear Gyuvin’s voice behind you when your mind is back in its place. “We're really sorry! We'll help you patch it back up!” You shake of the sand from your head when you sit back up, and you can finally take a good look at the three girls.

They looked pissed.

The smallest of the girls speaks, “I guess you can help. You're lucky it didn't fall on your head.” She points at you and you feel guilt engulf your cheeks with its warmth.

“Great!” Your friend helps you shake off some of the remaining sand off of your head, “Let's get to work, Y/N!”

You're confused at his enthusiasm, you were just playing soccer with him a few seconds ago and now he wants to build a sandcastle with some girls you just met? “But… we were-”

Gyuvin cuts you off, “It's the least we can do. We almost destroyed it.” It makes sense, but you're still a little reluctant. You grab a shovel anyways.

Your friend is already introducing himself when you start digging a hole into the sand, “I'm Kim Gyuvin! What are your names?”

The short girl with short hair that spoke to you before is the first one to answer, “I'm Hanni Pham! I'm from Australia but we moved here a year ago.”

“Your parents like fish, huh?” The boy's joke makes Hanni's mouth open wide and her eyes dilate a good amount.

“How did you know?!”

“I'm Seol Yoona.” Says a girl with a voice so quiet you have to ask Gyuvin what her name was right after she said it, “What did she say?”

“Seol Yoona.” He repeats, and you get back to digging with a nod, not before you give an apologetic smile to the girl.

The last girl introduces herself, “I'm Kim Minji.” You notice three things about her. Her voice is deeper than the other two girls, her eyebrows are really pretty, and she's wearing a blue clip on her hair.

All three of the girls are pretty, but if Gyuvin asks you later who you thought was the prettiest you are sure you'll say Minji.

Said girl notices you've been doing nothing but dig since you started introducing yourselves. “What's the hole for?” She says.

“I'm gonna put water in it to make wet sand. It's going to make it easier to build and harder to collapse.” And right after you say that you stand up, bucket in hand, ready to go and fetch water from the shining ocean behind you.

But just as you're about to go, the girl with the pretty eyebrows calls out again, “What's your name? You never told us.” Right.

“Han Y/N.” You tell her with a smile.

“Han Y/N.” She repeats your name back to you, like you're not supposed to know it already. It sounds pretty coming from her. 

The sunset glow crashes in the sea and bounces back into the eyes of the girl. You see them glisten as she looks into yours. Your heart starts beating as fast as it was when you were running around earlier.

“Don’t ever play soccer near my sandcastles.”

You look like an idiot, laughing by yourself in your seat. It's already night when you feel the bus stop in its tracks. You realize it's slightly warmer than when you departed, even at these hours of the night.

You're here. And you're not laughing anymore.

Everything you dread is getting closer by the second, and you don't want to face it.

It's been three years since the last time you saw your friends, since you saw Minji. Three years of only speaking to her in the group chat. Three years of believing you've gotten over her when in reality you were just getting distracted.

Because if you had truly moved on you wouldn't be worrying about moving on.

You step out of your bus and smell the scent of the ocean. Your worries fade away for the rest of the night. You'll worry about that tomorrow.

You're home.

It’s around 10:30 P.M. Knowing your parents they wouldn’t be asleep right now. They’re probably watching replays of soccer matches or some strange animal documentary. Even after three years you can tread lightly towards your home. Not much has changed.

The street lights are dim, and the wooden floor boards of the port are not much louder than the last time they squeaked beneath your feet. You take a picture of the moon watching over the dancing waves, then keep walking.

You wish you don’t run into any of your friends on the way to your house. It’s not like you don’t want to see them, but it’s late, and you couldn’t catch even a wink of sleep the whole ride. You just want to see your parents and sleep in between the warmth of their bodies like you did when you were just a kid. You chuckle at the memory.

You step into your neighborhood. Most of the lights are turned off, but you can hear a couple of things as you walk deeper into the block. Crickets, waves, and a couple different TV stations. 

You get closer to the neighboring house from yours. Gyuvin’s house. The lights in the first floor are off, but there’s a dim light coming from the window of the bedroom facing the street. It (probably still) belonged to Gyuvin himself. You don’t really know what he’s doing at this hour of the night, but you won’t bother him right now, even when you get the urge to text him something like ‘look out ur window’.

You hear the voice of a commentator from outside the door of your house. They were watching replays. Knew it. You think about what to do next. It’ll be too loud if you ring the doorbell, Gyuvin might notice you’re here and come around to investigate, And then you get a sudden, bright idea.

You set your gym bag on the ground and start typing your mom’s number to call her, clicking on her contact when it shows up. You take a big breath and wait for her to answer, it doesn’t take her long.

“Hello, baby! What’s going on?” There’s a twinge of worry in her voice but she always answers so happily when you call her. You chuckle deviously, mischief is about to begin.

“Hi mama! I sent you guys a surprise, I’m calling to make sure if the package arrived safely. Sorry about the time, by the way.” You try to mask the smile appearing on your lips as you talk.

“A package?” She seems confused, “I.. We didn’t get anything.” She sounds a little more concerned.

“Really? Can you check the door? Maybe it came late.”

“I don’t think it’d come this late, darling.”

“Just check, ma. Please.” You hang up. You feel a little sorry for leaving your mother bothered and confused, but you try to telepathically tell her it’ll be worth it.

Your heartbeat starts picking up its pace when you hear the door unlock. You put your phone in your pocket and pick your bag up again.

 When the door opens, the first thing you notice is your mom’s disheveled hair, probably from laying on the couch and watching TV. The second thing you notice is that her eyes immediately fall on the doorstep, and she frowns when she finds nothing. The third thing you notice is that, even before she realizes you’re there, she’s already taking out her phone to call you again, but she sees a pair of shoes in front of her before she gets around to doing that.

Her eyes travel from your old sneakers to the top of your head, and then they fall back at your face. Her jaw drops and her eyes look like they hold the moonlight in them when she realizes it’s actually you.

“Y/Nie…” She’s a little breathless when she says your name, and you laugh at the sound of rustling behind her. Your dad probably heard her.

“Hello!” You simply greet. Your father appears shortly behind your mother and you send a wave at him when you see he’s making the exact same expression as her. “Am I going to be outside all night? That’s how you greet your daughter?”

Your mother throws herself at you with a hearty laugh, it makes you happy too. “When did you get here?!” She asks, a little too loud for your liking, but you won’t complain. You pull away to greet your dad, who was frozen on the doorframe.

“Just now, actually.” Your father is in shock, but he does his best to hug you back, and the hug gets tighter when he finally understands it’s really his daughter. You giggle a little at his lack of words, then tap his back a little rougher when you start struggling to breathe, “Hey! Not so tight!”

He lets go and you hear him laugh more calmly now. “Let’s go in. Gyuvin doesn’t know I’m here yet and I want to surprise him tomorrow.” Your mom closes the door behind you, and then hits you on the back, quite roughly for your taste.

“How dare you not tell us you were coming?!” She rubs the same spot where she hit you when she hears you hiss at the pain, “It was a surprise!” You argue.

“Did you have dinner?” Your dad asks already in the kitchen, and your stomach growls even before you can respond. You giggle shyly at the noise, “I’ll take that as a no.” He says, “Go sit with your mom and watch TV with her. I’ll heat up something.”

“Oh, we’re not watching anything. You’re gonna tell me everything you’ve been doing.” Your mother taps the seat beside her on the couch, which you gladly take. “How was the season?”

You’re so happy to be back.

You wake up with the sunrise.

You fully expected to open your eyes and be hugging your mom while your dad was already up in the kitchen. And that did happen, except you wake up with your back sore from falling asleep on the couch. Your dad is in the kitchen, making breakfast for you three.

You rub your eyes and yawn. It wasn’t that late, you woke up pretty early actually. 8:27 A.M. Maybe it’s because your body is used to waking up early. Your dad looks back at you and laughs at your messy hair, smiles brighter when he sees one of your mom’s arms sticking out of the couch. “Rise and shine!” He says brightly.

“Morning…” The sound of your croaky voice seems to wake up your mom, as she’s already rubbing her face.

“Smells good.” She says in the same tone as you. “Is it almost done?”

“I just finished. Come take a seat.” Your dad turns off the gas from the stove. The scent of kimchi jjigae fills your home, and it makes you feel a lot more energized even before having a taste of it.

You run your hand through your hair to try and make it more presentable. Your mother goes up to your dad to ask for a taste, he waits for her approval. You start setting the cutlery and it makes you think of the mornings before school, but rather than getting sentimental, you enjoy the moment with a smile.

“Y/Nie, do you want apple juice?” Your mom asks with the fridge open, you just nod as you sit down.

When the three of you sit down to finally eat, you start to realize how much you actually missed this. You spent your mornings in Seoul either eating a quick and not-really-filling meal, or eating an energy bar and a vending machine kimbap with your teammates before practice. You don’t remember the last time you had a hearty breakfast.

The sound of laughter and birds chirping combined with the smell of a home cooked meal and the warmth of a seaside morning couldn’t compare to any of the emotions that crossed your heart whenever you won a match. 

Your mom and dad gossip to you about your neighbors and everything you missed while you were away.

You don’t find it hard to believe when they tell you that the weird old man that used to drink his nights away at the port got arrested. One of your neighbors' sons dropped out of college to be a model, Kim Sunoo apparently. Good for him, you always thought he had a pretty face.

Supposedly, Minji keeps her title as the number 1 student even in college. You’re not surprised, but you do feel full all of a sudden. There’s just a little bit of stew left when you groan, “Ah… I’m full…”

Your mom raises an eyebrow, “Already?” She looks at your bowl and laughs, “Nevermind, you finished pretty fast.”

“Do you eat well in Seoul?” Your dad asks. You feel a little flustered at the question and stutter when you answer, “I mean… not in the morning, but I eat pretty healthily the rest of the day. Me and Haneul prepare meals when we have afternoon practice. I’d say we’re pretty good cooks.”

Your parents laugh, “I guess we’ll put you to the test one day.” Your mom nudges you, “And it’s ‘Haneul and I’, by the way.”

The correction makes your eyes roll as you stand up to wash your dishes, “Yeah, yeah, grammar queen. I’m gonna go take a shower and go to Gyuvin’s to surprise him, ‘kay?”

“Aye aye, captain!” Either your parents planned to do the same move and say the same thing at the same time beforehand, or they’re literal soulmates.

You get out of the shower and choose a simple outfit- some baggy, ripped jeans and a graphic tee that you found in your closet (you asked your mom if it was clean enough for you to wear, considering the closet looked a little dusty; she said it was fine). The shirt felt a little tight around the arms and it was quite smaller than you expected, but it wasn’t uncomfortable at all. If anything it made the outfit more interesting.

So you stand outside your friend's house, with nothing in your hands but a smile on your face. You’re not really sure if it’ll be him or his mom answering the door, but you hope either of them will be happy to see you.

You ring the doorbell, and immediately hear footsteps get closer from inside. You don’t know if your heart is going to race everytime this happens, but you just hope you get used to the feeling. The door opens and you're met with a familiar face, Ms. Kim, Gyuvin’s mom, dressed up and ready to go to work. It’s summer, though?

“Y/Nie?” She looks delighted to see you, and yet quite surprised. “You came back!”

You give her a bright smile after you bow in respect, “Good morning, Ms. Kim! How have you been?” 

She steps back in a manner to invite you inside, “Oh, I’ve been well, dear. Gyuvin told me you weren’t able to visit these past years. We all missed you very much.” Her words surprise you, and you feel a little guilt squeezing your heart for two seconds.

“I’m glad to hear that, Ms.” She walks around the kitchen, packing what seems to be a lunchbox into her bag, yet still giving you her full attention. “Are you heading to work?” You ask curiously.

“Oh, yeah.” She looks a little agitated, “They don’t give me breaks, baby. I work for the news now!”

“Oh! How has that been going?”

She stops in her tracks, “Honestly, quite great.” She says, and you both laugh together. “Does Gyuvin know you’re here? I imagine he’s who you came to see.”

“He doesn’t.” The woman looks quite surprised. “I wanted to surprise him. I arrived just yesterday.”

“Oh honey, you’re gonna give him a heart attack.” She laughs and you chuckle, “I hope not!” You say,

“He’s in his room. He’s probably still asleep, but he’ll wake up if you knock hard enough. Make sure he doesn’t think you’re me, then he won’t get up.” The woman unlocks the door, coat hanging from her arm and bag over her shoulder, when she sees you nod. “I heard you won third place this half, right?”

“That’s right, ma’am.” You proudly say.

“Go Tigers!” Is the last thing she says before she walks out of the door. What a charming woman. You smile at yourself before walking up the stairs to your friend’s room.

Knock knock. No answer.

Knock knock knock. A groan.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. A louder groan.

“Kim Gyuvin, I will bust your door down.” You yell, “You think my legs haven’t gotten stronger?”

Fast stomps and the sound of a clutter of objects falling on the ground startle you slightly. The door opens so roughly you wonder if Gyuvin himself has also gotten stronger.

“Y/N?!”

“What fell on the ground?” You chuckle. He hugs you, possibly tighter than your dad. You didn’t quite expect it, but you welcome it anyway.

He pulls away like he’s checking if you’re not a hologram. You laugh the hardest when he pokes your cheek. He looks relieved, then mad. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?! When did you get here?!”

“I got here yesterday. You were still awake, I think. But I wanted to greet you properly, and I was really tired last night.” You explain with a little bit of remorse.

“Dude!” He hugs you once again, “Bro, I can’t believe you're back!” You hug him just as tightly. “I’m really happy I’m here.”

He pushes you lightly with a smirk, “Don’t get sappy on me.” He teases, “Congrats on third place, tiger.” You cringe at the nickname and push him back.

“Eww!” You both laugh, and you notice the bundle of things he has on the floor of his room, “You dropped all that?”

Gyuvin looks back, and pushes you out of his room, closing the door in shame. Unbelievable.

You hear him pick up the things and put them back in place, until he finally opens the door again. You’re right where he left you. “Get dressed. Your mom made you breakfast.”

“Wait, help me pick an outfit!” You’ve been here for less than a day and he’s already being annoying. Like always.

“Bro, I’m wearing a shirt that’s too small for me, I am not the one to ask for fashion help.”

“That’s your fault for getting swole!” You hear him yell while you go down the stairs. Maybe nothing's really changed.

You’re back at the kitchen. You look at the lonely plate at the table, it doesn’t look very appetizing. It’s not like it’s a bad meal, it’s an omelet and toast, but when you touch it it’s abnormally cold. Fuck you Gyuvin. He was probably supposed to wake up a while ago.

You take the plate and place it in the microwave, one minute should be fine. You open the fridge and snoop around to see if they still- yup, they still have a box of the triangle juice boxes you and Gyuvin always shared at school. Apple was your favorite. You’re sure he or his mom won’t mind you taking one while you wait for the food to heat up.

You take the little plastic straw attached to the juice box and stab it into the designated hole. Just as you close the fridge, you hear the shutter sound effect from a phone. You turn around and see Gyuvin already dressed up and smiling at his phone.

“Did you take a picture of me?” You ask. The microwave beeps, “That’s your food.”

“Check the group chat.” He says as he walks past you to the microwave. You take out your phone and rest your elbows on the counter when you open up the group chat. Gyuvin named it “Beach boys”, even when he himself was the only male.

You’re immediately met with a picture of you from your side, stabbing a hole into your apple juice box. You looked at yourself in the mirror this morning, but you only realize how tight the sleeves of your shirt look when you stare at the photo. “Damn…” You mutter

“Ow! Ow! Hot!” Gyuvin yelps as he walks beside you, plate in his hands. He sits down at the table while you scroll back up to check the other messages.

gyuv | 9:44 A.M.

guys Y/N got so swole its actually insane

sully | 9:44 A.M.

Well yeah shes an athlete what were u expecting

henny | 9:44 A.M.

did she post something on ig?

where is this coming from

minj | 9:44 A.M.

Good morning first of all

gyuv | 9:45 A.M.

yeah but ud expect her legs to get bigger or her thighs idk

tell me why this absolute gremlin has bigger biceps than me

i feel threatened

this feels like a bro code violation

henny | 9:45 A.M.

this feels more like you just being insecure

i checked her ig and theres nothing?

sully | 9:45 A.M.

Vin are you hallucinating be honest

minj | 9:45 A.M.

Why gremlin

If anything the gremlin is hanni

henny | 9:45 A.M.

literally so out of pocket

what compelled you to say that

gyuv | 9:46 A.M. 

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henny | 9:46 A.M.

Gyuvin is that ur fuckign house

is that han Y/N in your fucking house.

minj | 9:46 A.M.

What the hell

You | 9:46 A.M.

hi guys!

henny | 9:47 A.M.

Han Y/N are you in gyuvins fucking house

You | 9:47 A.M.

possibly

gyuv | 9:47 A.M.

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guys im shaking theres a uleague third place winner in my kitchen

im so honored

sully | 9:47 A.M.

Omg she did get swole

Hiii Y/N

gyuv | 9:47 A.M.

RIGHT

IM SAYING LIKE

U DONT EVEM USE UR ARMS IN SOCCER

henny | 9:47 A.M.

Y/N when the FUCK did u get here

im gonna start vrying omg

You | 9:48 A.M.

i got here yesterday at night

i wanted to surprise u guys but ig gyuvin got too excited

pham hanni DO NOT CRY

hi sullyyy !!

henny | 9:48 A.M.

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS

You | 9:48 A.M.

stop cursing so much omg

minj | 9:48 A.M.

This is actually crazy

How could you say nothing to us

I feel lowkey betrayed Han Y/N

You | 9:48 A.M.

IM SORRY???

so surprises are the worst thing in the world now huh

gyuvs mom was so much happier to see me than you guys fr

going back to seoul

it seems im not welcome

henny | 9:48 A.M.

Y/N actually stop playing rn

where do we meet

You | 9:49 A.M

me and gyuv will pick u guys up

were going to the soccer field

but i got money from the scholarship so we can buy stuff on the way

gyuv | 9:49 A.M.

guys just to be clear i had literally no idea she was here

she showed up at my house 20 mins ago

sully | 9:49 A.M.

Omg we can go to that antique shop thats close to our high school

henny | 9:50

literally how r u so calm abt this

minj | 9:50 A.M.

Maybe ur just abnormal

You cackle loudly at Minji's last text.

When you arrive at Yoona's house, she's already waiting for you two on her porch. She looks a little taller than when you last saw her. Her eyes light up when she sees you arrive.

“Y/N!” She runs up to you and hugs you so tightly your breath falls a little short. What's with everyone and suffocating you lately? “I missed you so much!”

“I missed you too, Sully!” You smile at her when you pull back, and the first thing she does is poke your arm. Her jaw drops in awe at the toughness of the muscle and it makes you laugh.

Gyuvin comes up behind you both with his arms open and a silly smirk, “Where my hug at?” It's quite awful. Yoona gags and sends him a distasteful look, which quickly shuts him down

You missed this. And it’s like this - full of banter and laughs - the whole way to Hanni’s house, the three of you take turns at making fun of each other, with the brief recurring tease at your job as an athlete.

Your friends like to brag about you being a college athlete, and a good one at that, but they certainly enjoyed sitting you up on a pedestal as a joke. They talked about you like you were the main star of the national team when in reality most people had little to no idea who you were even on campus, with the exception of the Yujin fans who tried using you to get close to her.

“Y/N, I promise you, when you make it on the national team, there’s gonna be a ton of fan accounts for you.” You’re in the middle of pushing Gyuvin away and blushing at his comment, about to contradict him when you hear a voice calling you.

“Han Y/N!” You don’t even realize you were already at Hanni’s house when you look towards the sound and two girls are waiting for you at the steps of a big house.

The first thing you notice is Hanni’s hair. She cut it, a fuckass (affectionately) bob that looked exactly like the one she wore the first time you ever met her.

The second thing you notice is that Minji is right beside her, already smiling at you. She stands up from the steps she and Hanni were sitting on and shakes off the dust from her pants. She wears a simple white graphic shirt and oversized blue jeans, beige puffer jacket hanging off her arms, and she looks so much taller than how she did when she was 16.

(That’s weird, shouldn’t she have stopped growing by then?)

The third thing you notice is your heartbeat suddenly racing when her eyes and yours meet for the first time in three years.

It beats at the same pace it did when the afternoon sun hit her face when you were 7. It beats at the same pace it did when you stared at her sitting by the window in middle school. It beats at the same pace it did when she sat beside you on the bus and fell asleep with her head on your shoulder.

Nothing has changed. Nothing at all.

It hits you like a bullet through your chest, but you try your best to ignore it as Hanni runs towards you. 

“You asshole!” She yells with a smile on her face, and it contaminates your lips when she hugs you. She doesn’t hug you as tightly, but it’s longer than you expected. When she finally pulls away from you you touch the short strands of hair that cover her ears.

“What happened here?” You ask, watching in awe at the striking change.

“I kind of had an existential crisis last night.” She responds shyly while caressing her trimmed locks. “Minji helped me make it look better. It did not look good when I did it. They didn’t know either!” She points at the two behind you, both of them with their jaws hanging when you look back.

“Dude, you literally look seven again.” You say. You don’t mean it in a teasing way, she genuinely looks younger, but you reconsider telling her that when she hits you in the arm. Hanni widens her eyes at the unexpected roughness, “What the hell… you did get swole.”

“Can we stop talking about that?” The topic of your arms is starting to tire you, but it’s mostly embarrassing, so you groan at the mention.

You hear Minji laugh when Hanni goes up to the other two and they immediately start touching her new hair. It makes you laugh too, but you gasp a little when you feel a hand touch your shoulder.

“Hey.” She says, her god-damned pretty eyes look at you so sweetly, and her voice is so soft, and-

“Hey!” You say before thoughts about her take up your brain and you awkwardly freeze.

She smiles right before she hugs you, and it’s surprisingly warm, but you’re sure most of it comes from your own blood rushing everywhere inside you.

Everything about her is gentle, her eyes, her voice, her embrace. It’s a complete one-eighty in contrast to the tightness of everyone else who’s put their arms around you for the past two days.

“I missed you.” She says so delicately, almost quiet, even if she says it right next to your ear. And you’re about to melt, and she has no idea, so you hug her back, a little less soft than how she does, and say “I missed you too.”

It comes out a lot more calmly than you expect it, and you internally praise yourself for not making a fool out of yourself. It’s not like you want to pull away, but you might start sweating if you don’t.

You take your arms off her back and her warmth suddenly fades away. When she looks at your face again, there’s a small grin painting her lips, “Congrats on the win.” She pokes at your shoulder and you laugh at the gesture.

“It’s only third place. I want first.”

“Oh wow!” Her amused smile makes you dizzy, “Didn’t know you were so ambitious.”

“People change, I guess.” You giggle with her. But you haven’t really changed at all.

“Well, you better get first place, tiger.” She teases and you groan even louder at the nickname as you get away from her to join your friends. Maybe getting over Minji won’t be so hard.

Getting over Minji is going to be fucking impossible. Matter of fact, you're sure it’s never gonna happen. You’re going to be 45 and still think about her, and it’s going to slowly kill you.

You stare as she holds a little cow plush in her hands, inspecting it carefully. Her round eyes shine just like the glossy buttons of the doll. You think of a believable excuse before you take your phone out of your pocket and open the camera app.

You zoom in and despise how your fingers tremble before you snap a photo of the girl, unbeknownst to her.

Gyuvin comes up behind you, his voice is quiet yet it still startles you, “What’s the pic for?”

You look at him with widened eyes and bring your hand to your chest. “Just… memories.” Truth lies within your (not quite) excuse. “I want to look back on things like this when I go back to Seoul.”

The boy narrows his eyes at you and smirks, “So sappy.” He teases, so you zoom out the camera to 0.5 and take a bad close up of his face, “Hey!” He laughs.

You get away and put your phone back in your pocket to look at more of the items in the store. Many things catch your eye, small, shiny, weird, big, you could buy it all if you had the money to.

You walk around the shop, your eyes examine all the items on the old wooden tables and your fingers lightly brush on some of the more eye-catching trinkets. You stare at the little ceramic figurines of dogs and cats and other animals and mentally consider buying the little calico cat on the far left.

There are some cute keychains with little black and white designs as you pass by. You add them to your roster too. Hanni’s voice catches your attention from a few steps away.

“Y/N! What do you think of this cardigan?” She’s in the clothing section of the store, sporting a vintage cream colored wool cardigan with little brown stripes on the sides of the sleeves. It’s a little big on her, but oversized is trendy so it’s fine.

“It’s cute!” Your eyes glance towards some of the clothes behind her, “I like that one better though.” You point at the blue-gray checkered sweater behind her and she frowns in confusion when she looks at it, “Y/N, that’s so ugly.” Guess you don’t have an eye for fashion.

“Oh well…” You sigh and keep looking for more artifacts.

As you walk around, you accidentally bump the top of your head on some of the ornaments that hang on the ceiling, the sound of multiple wind chimes emerge a little before your quiet “Ow!”, which grabs the attention of Yoona and Gyuvin.

“You okay?” The girl asks in concern, but you can hear her hold back a laugh between her teeth. Gyuvin isn’t so subtle, his laughs resonating on the walls of the shop.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You assure Yoona as you rub your forehead with your eyes closed, turned away in embarrassment. When your eyes open again, they land on an item that makes you freeze a little.

A small, pale blue hair clip. It looked oddly similar, if not exactly the same as the one Minji wore on the first day you met. The clip she lost on that same day while the five of you swam in the ocean together.

You remember her being so upset when she realized it wasn’t there anymore, so much she cried silently on the way back to your respective houses. She was over the sadness of losing it in less than a week, but it stuck with you after Hanni told you in a whisper that it was the first time she ever saw Minji cry.

You immediately take the clip in your hands, the first item you’re certain you will buy. Actually, you buy it in that same instant. Thankfully, none of your friends seem to notice your quiet purchase, too engrossed in their own item search.

The five of you spend around 40 minutes in total in that damn shop, and you could kind of tell the owner was getting sick of Gyuvin’s constant questions on how he acquired the items. “They’re mostly donations or things I find on trips. I don’t know anything else.” He says.

In the end, you bought a few more things apart from the hair clip. You did end up buying the little calico cat figurine, a silver necklace with a spiral pendant, a pack of stamps with really cool designs, and a love letter.

There was a cardboard box sitting on a chair in one corner of the shop with a sign that said “Old Love Letters, ₩300 Each”, and not only is it something you’ve never seen anyone sell before, but it’s also cheap. How could you not buy a chance to snoop around in unknown people’s love lives? 

You put your stuff in the little tote bag Yoona had bought for you. She said the design made her think of you (it had three monochrome fish painted over it).

Now you’re making your way towards the nearest soccer field. You used to play there all the time with Gyuvin, sometimes the other girls joined, or some of the other kids in the neighborhood.

The five of you walked with you right in the middle, like you were the center of a K-pop group. It definitely made you stand out to the locals of the neighborhoods you passed through, and some of them even recognized you and went as far as to congratulate you.

Did your parents tell the entire town about your rank in the league?

“It’s like I’m walking with a celebrity.” Hanni voices just as you get back from shaking hands with one of the old men of the neighborhood. As much as you enjoy the praise and congratulations, it’s a little embarrassing to acknowledge you’re gaining a lot more fame within this town. You imagine this is how famous soccer players feel everytime they go out in public.

“Microcelebrity.” You clarify, “Aren’t you an influencer?” You recall Hanni spamming the group chat one time in the first year of high school because one of her Instagram posts had gone viral. After a while of her videos getting more and more views, she started gaining a small following and could be considered a daily-life influencer.

“Yeah, but most of my followers aren’t from here so I don’t get recognized everytime I go out.”

“To be fair, this is the first time this has happened to me. My parents probably told the whole town about this.”

“Oh, they sure did. Even my mom found out.” Minji states, to your surprise. Minji’s mother was well known for not liking any sports at all, and it’s not that she hated them, she just wasn’t interested. She didn’t even know who Messi or Ronaldo were.

“Wow… I knew they liked to gossip, but that’s… crazy.” You scratch your nape shyly. Your parents are known for finding out everything, but you didn’t know they also told everything they knew.

“She didn’t really know what anything meant but she was very happy for you.” She says with a smile.

Oh! There’s a strange giddy feeling that shows up as a smile on your face you can’t hold back. You’re not really sure what to say, but you don’t even have to worry about it, because before you realize you’re already at the field, and when the boys that are playing there take notice of your presence, all you can hear is screams.

Sounds of “Y/N Noona!”, “No way it’s Y/N!”, “You’re back?!” get closer as the match pauses and they start running towards you. Most of them are your high school classmates, some are your younger neighbors or underclassmen you played with during recess.

You get closer and they bombard you with hugs and questions, with countless reminders of how much they missed you. One of them complains about you not answering his texts, and another boy defends you by excusing your forgetfulness on being busy.

“Okay, okay. I’ll make it up to you with a match, okay?”

You end up playing for two hours straight, the first half with your friends as a team, but after a while it seemed like the only one with energy left was you. Not even Gyuvin could keep up your pace.

“No wonder she’s an athlete.” Hanni says, fanning herself under the shadow of a tree that trespassed the field enclosure. Your friends were all sitting down on the ground, watching attentively at the match you played against the boys while chatting.

It was 5v1 and you were winning 4-2.

Minji watched carefully at the way you carried yourself on the field, so graceful and yet not passive at all, a different perspective compared to how you usually are.

There's a little bit of sweat that glistens on your forehead, and after playing for such a long time you only now start to look slightly tired. “I pray everyday she makes it to the national team and gets rich.” Gyuvin says.

“Same.” Hanni answers, laying down on a blanket over the warm grass and resting her head on her bag and it makes Yoona laugh when she grumbles at the discomfort of feeling all the crystals she bought on the back of her head.

The boys score another goal at you, so you decide to get serious and start playing like you would at a normal university match. Minji stares when you run faster and slide through the opponents so easily. She kind of wonders if she could calculate your speed mentally.

Field length = 55 meters, Penalty area length = 9 meters

You were around 9.2 meters from the halfway line and traveled around 18 meters in a straight line, Minji counts 4 seconds.

18/4 = 5 m/s, 1 m/s = 3.6 km/h, 5 * 3.6 = 18 km/h

Han Y/N’s speed in that one moment was 18 km/h.

The average maximum sprint speed of La Liga athletes was 30 km/h, according to an NLM article (don’t ask Minji how she knows that; she isn’t even studying medicine).

Suddenly Minji feels the need to see you play an actual serious match.

“I don’t think you need to pray.” She says with a smirk, standing up from the ground and wiping away the bristles of grass stuck to her jeans. “She has it in the bag.”

The others notice her taking out her wallet from her pocket, “Can you buy me a Fanta?” Gyuvin makes puppy eyes at Minji, even while knowing they never work on her, or anyone for that matter.

She gives him nothing but a wave and walks away, “She’s not getting you shit, dude.” Hanni kicks Gyuvin in the back with the tip of her foot and Yoona laughs at the scene.

The grocery store is not far away at all, only a block from the field, and Minji treads lightly with her mind made up on what to buy. A bag of chips and two glasses of apple juice, and maybe a strawberry lollipop for Hanni, NOT cherry, she notes.

The owner is an older lady who used to babysit Minji’s mom. She’s seen her countless times in her life so it’s easy for her to greet her brightly. “It’s been so long, Minji!” The woman greets her, her aged features morphing into a kind smile.

It’s true, it has been a long time. She doesn’t really come here that often anymore unless she’s taking a walk out of boredom or walking the neighbors dog when she’s out of town. She used to come here all the time when you all went to play soccer, but the matches got less and less frequent after you left, mostly because the only one who actually wanted to play was Gyuvin.

Minji makes her way to the drink section of the store and lights up when she sees the chilled glasses of apple juice right where she remembers them being. She was honestly surprised you hadn’t brought a water bottle with you when you left, and maybe just water would be healthier and hydrate you better, but she’d rather make you happier with your favorite drink.

(You would’ve been happy enough even if she just brought you water.)

The glass is cold when it reaches her hand, a nice contrast from the heat of the afternoon sun. She was starting to get a little hungry so maybe instead of chips she’d get a sandwich. Maybe she’ll get two.

She excuses herself in her mind, she’s not excluding her other friends! It’s just… this day is about you, of course her focus would be you. And maybe tomorrow. And maybe the whole time you’re here. She laughs at herself while walking up to the counter. She meant it when she told you she missed you.

“That would be ₩4,200 but I’ll give to you for ₩4,000 because I missed you.” The woman beams her a warm smile and Minji can’t help but return it. She hands her 4,200 won anyways and is out the door before the woman can complain. “Bye, Mrs. Do!”

Minji walks back with a smile on her face, the wind hits and blows her hair back. Some leaves and dust get blown her way too but she doesn’t have to squint her eyes because they already do that when she smiles. 

The sun isn’t as bright and the rays don’t burn her skin anymore. She hears louds screams just as she’s getting closer to the field, and when she looks through the gaps of the metal enclosure she sees Gyuvin running up to hug you while the boys you were playing with fall to the ground in defeat.

She missed your win. Minji puckers up her bottom lip and sighs, shoulders shrugging helplessly.

You hadn’t even realized she had left until you see her enter the field again, so you send her a light smile she almost doesn’t catch. She looks back to the other girls and when her eyes meet Hanni laying on the grass she realizes she forgot her strawberry lollipop. Oh well.

She sits down next to Yoona and takes her sandwich out of her bag.

“What’d you buy?”

“Just stuff. Nothing for Gyuvin.”

Yoona laughs at the comment. “The apple juice is for Y/N, right?” Minji nods as she looks at you tap the boys on the back to cheer them up, “You can have the other one if you want.”

Minji was just about to open the packaging of her sandwich when she sees you and Gyuvin walk towards her. She quickly stops her actions and takes the other cold glass from the plastic bag, struggles a little to open the lid, and just as you take your last step she holds the cold apple juice to your face, or the closest to it her arm could reach.

You’re a little taken aback, but luckily you don’t blush at her act. Instead you just smile at her, mirroring Minji’s own kind smile and take the glass from her hand. “Thanks.” You say before you take a sip.

Both of your hearts feel full, yours at the flavor of apple that fills your tastebuds and calms the thirst of running for hours, and hers at the fact she made you even just a little happy with such a small action.

You gulp down probably half the glass down and end it with a “Ah~” that makes your friends laugh. “You still do that?” Hanni sits up and rests her hands behind her on the grass.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve done that since you were a kid.” Minji says and your eyebrows raise,”Really?��� All your friends nod.

“I never noticed.”

Minji goes back to her sandwich as you and Gyuvin sit down in front of the other three. You’re tired now, but you don’t wanna lay on the grass because you say it makes you itch, so you try resting your body weight on Gyuvin, to which he adamantly pushes you away, “You’re heavy, Y/N!”

“What the hell, bro. I’m literally not?” You pout at him to try and get him to surrender but he just pushes you away harder every time you try to lay your back against him.

“Go lay on Minji or something, not me.” He says as he pushes you for the last time, you hear Hanni laugh.

You look at Minji and she’s already putting away the plastic bag she had on her lap. Oh, okay, yeah, no biggie. No problem at all.

You do a great impression of acting normal and move to sit next to her. “The shadow is better on this side anyways.” You fake whine at the boy as Minji grabs your shoulder and guides you to rest your back on top of her legs.

You turn your body so that you face her and hope she can’t tell your heart starts beating faster when you notice she’s already looking down at you. It’s a beautiful scene.

Minji’s face, the green leaves of the trees behind her and the sun peeking through the gaps, the wind blowing her hair a little to the side, the way her eyes smile at the same time she does. “Hey.”

“Hey.” You answer.

Everything about this is normal! You have to close your eyes so you believe it, and you start to after a few seconds. Everything about this is normal. It feels so normal and you love it.

It’s soothing. The wind caresses your face and you lose focus on the conversation your friends were having beside you.

And then Minji starts running her fingers through your hair and you lose focus on anything that’s not her.

Your heartbeat picks up for a few seconds and then it doesn’t. And then it’s all calm again. Your eyes are closed but your mind pictures Minji so vividly, smiling at you sweetly while her eyes. Her loving eyes.

God, you hope you’re not blushing, because you can already feel yourself getting warm all over. Thankfully, the gentle breeze is there to save you when you need it.

 And then there’s a moment where everything, the breeze, Minji’s hands caressing you, and the sound of playful conversation, all merge at the perfect moment and you experience a calm that feels heavenly. Almost divine, and it sends you into instant slumber.

You don’t really remember every detail of what you dream of, you just remember it being about Minji, Seoul and snow. Either way, you know it had something to do with her confessing her feelings to you after you win nationals. You remember that you froze after she kissed you, then called your name after she saw you not move.

“Y/N! Y/N!” You hear your name being called out, then your body being shaked roughly. “Y/N!” You hear loudly before you wake yourself up.

“Sorry!” You don’t know what you’re apologizing for until your body jerks away and your forehead almost hits Minji’s. “Oh, sorry.”

“You fell asleep.” She states the obvious with a giggle.

“No shit, queen.” You hear Hanni laugh loudly at your response. “How long was I out for?”

“It’s 5:25.” Yoona says behind you, only then you realize they were already packing up and it was time to go. Where? You have no idea.

“Shit. Sorry guys.” You sit back up and stretch your muscles before you can stand properly.

“My legs fell asleep, you know?” Minji announces, and when you look back at her she has a teasing smirk on her face.

“Yeah, well, maybe blame Gyuv for that.” You answer sassily, but you can’t help but feel a little guilty.

Said male goes to grab the tote bag Yoona got you and the half finished apple juice you left behind and holds the bag it to your face while you’re still stretching, “Hurry up, girl. We gotta go to the beach before sunset.” He throws the bag at you and you catch it just in time.

“Careful! I have a cat in there!”

You arrive at the beach at exactly 6:00 P.M. and as soon as you get to the sand Gyuvin is already taking his shoes and shirt off. You look at everyone, confused on the plan you never actually listened to.

“We were going to swim?”

“Do you not want to?” Hanni asks.

“I don’t know…” You look at your friends with a sorry expression. You were already worn out from the whole match, and even after you slept a whole two hours on Minji’s lap, you still felt a little tired. “I’m kinda drained guys.”

“Bro… How could you?” Minji looks at you like she’s so betrayed and you laugh at her annoying little face that’s also so pretty and cute and annoying

“Bro… I’m sorry.” You play along. Calling the love of your life “bro” is crazy.

Okay, “love of your life” is an exaggeration (it’s literally not, in every sense of the word literally).

“I’ll watch your bags and take pics!” You tried bargaining, and they look at you like you’re crazy. “Guys, please, we can come swim tomorrow. The beach is not going anywhere considering we literally live beside it.”

Then Yoona gets real close to you and whispers, “You’ll pay for this.” then takes off her shoes.

“What the hell, man.”

Gyuvin and Yoona are already running at the sea and splashing each other, they don’t actually care about you not joining. Hanni hands you her bag with a strange force and you don’t know where it came from, “Take care of my babies.” She says.

“Your… babies?”

“My crystals.”

“Oh, right. I will.”

Minji walks up to you when Hanni walks away and hands you her jacket and another bag, this time plastic, “There’s one sandwich left in there. I told Gyubin not to eat it and I didn’t think he was going to listen but he did, surprisingly.” She tells you with a smile.

“Thanks. Very thoughtful of you man.” Alright, pack it up.

Minji sends you one last smile before she leaves and your heart beats when her eyes squint too. You watch her disappear into the waves and smile. You take out your phone and take a picture of your friends all swimming and playing in the water, their silhouettes clashing with the sun that was just about to set. It’s so pretty you make it your lock screen immediately.

You take out a blanket from Hanni’s bag, the same one she was laying on in the soccer field, and spread it on the ground to sit down. You take off your sneakers before they get filled with sand and take comfort in the warmth of the sand beneath you.

You stare at your friends for a bit, a beautiful picture presented just for you. You’re so happy to be back. Your stomach lets out a loud grumble before you even get to tear up. What a way to ruin the mood.

You take the bag Minji gave you and take out the sandwich. Ham, bacon, cheese, lettuce- oh, who cares. You take a bite out of it and it tastes like home. She definitely bought it from Mrs. Do.

It eases your hunger quite well. You hear the waves crash and Minji’s laugh from far away and, what a beautiful sound. What a beautiful person. You think of Minji and think of beautiful, not just from her appearance but her soul. What a beautiful soul.

You take your last bite and your stomach feels full, but you feel a little empty and can’t pinpoint what it is. You feel like you’re forgetting something. You reach for your new bag and search for whatever it seems you're forgetting.

Oh, right, the letter. Suddenly you feel excited.

The sun starts just in time. What a way to set the mood. You take out the white envelope and notice it still has some scent remaining. It kinda smells like something Minji used to wear, jasmine and liquorice. You didn’t smell it on her today, though.

You notice the envelope doesn’t have a sender or recipient name anywhere on it, nowhere at all. Maybe they didn’t plan to send it, or they changed the envelope at the shop. Eager to know more, you rip the envelope, careful not to damage the letter itself.

You take it out and take a deep breath to prepare yourself. You’re probably a little more excited than you should be, but whatever. You’re excited to intrude on a stranger's possibly failed love confession.

Except when you unfold the page, it’s not from a stranger.

You panic and fold the letter closed just as fast as you had opened it. You must have misread, right?

You open it again and the top says “Kim Minji, 23rd of June, 2021” like it’s a diary.

It must be another Kim Minji. There are hundreds of thousands in South Korea. It could be anyone. Anyone at all. So you keep reading in hopes it’s someone who’s not the girl swimming in the sea just a few meters away from you.

Dear Y/N,

It’s not a stranger. It’s Kim Minji. Your Kim Minji. You’re reading an old love letter from Kim Minji. You bought a love letter from Kim Minji for 300 won.

Wait, why is it addressed to you?

Now, you’re more confused than shocked. Now, you have to find out. You were going to put it down and not read it to not intrude and break your own heart, but now you have to find out why on Earth the first two words are Dear Y/N written in Kim Minji’s handwriting. So you keep reading.

Dear Y/N, I hope this finds you well. If you’re reading this, I gave this to you on the 24th or maybe even earlier on a strike of confidence. I hope you’re not keeping yourself up to read this at midnight. I wanted to tell you something I’ve been keeping for a long time before you leave for Seoul. Maybe it’s a selfish thing to do, and it won’t keep you from departing, but I think it would be worse to tell you this through text and I can’t bring myself to say it to your face.

I have feelings for you. Real romantic feelings. I like you a lot.

I like possibly everything about you and it’s killing me that I’m so scared and unable to tell you. I don’t even know what I’m so afraid of, really. Probably rejection, but even if you did like me back I still have to live without you for four years. My wish of you coming to visit me will probably depend on how harsh your rejection is, but I’d still like to see you back regardless.

When you first told us you got that scholarship for Korea University, I was so happy and proud of you. In a perfect world I would have kissed you and told you how happy I was for you and maybe even gone with you. But it’s not a perfect world and I just told you “Congratulations!” and you’re leaving tomorrow, without me. 

I’m not one to take pictures, if anything that’s you, but right now I wish I had an album full of photos of you, of us, because I don’t know how I’ll make it without seeing you everyday. I think I won’t, actually. I hope you consider letting me borrow the photo album full of the countless pictures you take, even if they’re not of you they might fill the void you leave in my heart.

Anything from you will suffice, I think, but just your memory is not enough.

I kinda wish you could stay, but I also know you’re going to do your best over there and I hope you fulfill your dream of being a professional player. When you said you were going to choose to study mass communication I thought “that must mean she’s going to communicate with us a lot!” I hope it does. I hope you don’t miss us too much, but I do hope you miss me a little bit more.

I’ve never written a love letter before, if you could even call this that, so excuse me if this is not a good one, I’m sorry. I should probably state what I like most about you, but I don’t even know where to begin.

I love the way you’re driven to do your best even at the smallest of things. When we first met, you built us the best sand castle I had ever seen in my short life of seven years. The sandcastle was still standing when we went to visit it the next day.

You do your best at school, even when it gets hard for you, and I love that you’re not afraid to ask for help when you really need it. I kind of envy that if I’m honest. I hope you become the best student in your major.

I remember the time we babysat Ms.Yoon’s daughter and you were the only one who knew how to change her diapers and at what time to feed her. I also love how good you are with kids and sometimes it makes me think of very inappropriate thoughts of building a family together, but I won’t get into that because I don’t want to be weirder than I’m already being right now.

I love the way you always try your best to make me smile when I’m upset or stressed and even just the thought of you going out of your way to care is enough for my heart to melt. When I got sick in middle school while my mom was out of town you came to my house every day and made me chicken soup. I think that was the day I started thinking of you as more than just a friend.

I love the way you look when you put your hair up in a ponytail. I used to stare at you the entire time we watched you play during recess in middle school.

I love the way you’re clumsy and you’re never embarrassed about it. You always get up when you fall and you don’t pretend it doesn’t hurt when you scrape your knees. And I love the way you still try to smile when I’m patching up your wounds.

I love the way you always want the best for us and encourage us to be ambitious. I wouldn’t be on top of my class if it weren’t for you.

I love the way you like cats and they like you back. They always hiss at me unless you’re around. Maybe it’s a sign that we should be together all the time.  

I love the way you say Ah~ when you finish drinking water after playing soccer.

I love (you) the way you love apple juice. I hope you feel the same. – Kim Minji

P.s. if you don’t i also understand and you’re free to do whatever you want with this letter.

You have no idea at what point you started to tear up, but you only realize when a tear falls from your eye into the paper and blurs the ink in the last “Minji”. 

You don’t even process anything around you at that point. All you can think about is that Minji liked you 3 years ago and never told you and now you don’t even know if she still likes you.

No matter how much you think about it, you would’ve absolutely given her your photo album, if only the letter had actually gotten to you when it was supposed to.

“I saw you open the letter from over there, I came here to be nosy.” You can’t tell anything she says because you’re so entranced but you can tell it’s Minji’s voice. You freeze when she sits beside you.

“Is it any good?” She asks before realizing you’re completely paralyzed. “Hey, are you crying?” She touches your shoulder in concern, and it wakes you up a little bit, but the only thing you can do is hand her the letter.

She stares at you for a few seconds before she finally takes the page and mutters, “Oh.”

You don’t really want to look at her, and you don’t know what comes over you that makes you turn your head anyways. The red sun rays hit her face in a way that makes her tan skin glow. Her hair is damp and her shirt is stuck to her body but you don’t dare to look.

She’s clearly just as shocked as you are to see the object in her hands. And she still looks so beautiful. “Y/N, I-” You wipe your tears and sniff before she turns and see them in your eyes.

“Was this the one you bought?” You nod, and she looks back at it with her mouth hung low. “I… was wondering where this went. I thought I lost it.”

“You didn’t send it? At all?” Minji shakes her head. Wow, this is so great. “Why didn’t you?”

“I was supposed to give it to you before you left. I was hoping it would make you stay, but then I thought I was being too selfish and… just didn’t.” There’s clearly some regret still left in her face and the wind starts to blow. You hand her the jacket you put down next to your friends’ bags. “Thanks.” She says as she puts it on. You turn away to look at the sunset and gather your thoughts.

There’s no expression on your face for Minji to read, and for some reason she starts getting worried. “Y/N… I- It’s been three years, you don’t have to worry about-”

“Do you still?” You ask while looking away at the sea.

Minji stays quiet.

“Do you?”

She still keeps quiet. You turn to face her.

“Please tell me the truth, Minji.”

There’s something about how the sun makes your eyes glow and how you say her name that sabotages Minji at not giving in.

“Yes.” She speaks out with a sigh, “I do. I still do.”

You don’t know if your heart is beating faster or slower, but you feel it beat stronger. You turn away to get your bag, Minji just watches, her eyebrows slightly furrowed in distress and curiosity. The only thing she wants right now is to know how you feel.

You reach inside your bag for something, and Minji can’t really tell what it is when you take it out.

Finally, you extend the pale blue hair clip in your hand, “I have liked you since we were seven, Minji.” The girl looks at the clip then at you, her round eyes widened in disbelief.

“Are you serious?”

You hold your hand closer to her, urging her to take the gift before you sniff once again, “I saw this and thought of you. It looks like the one you had when we first met, that’s the day I started liking you. I haven’t stopped since.”

Minji takes the clip from your hands and feels herself tear up, says nothing, stares at it, then stares at you.

“We’ve known each other for thirteen years and I’ve loved you for thirteen of them.”

“I had no idea.”

“We had no idea.”

“We knew nothing about everything.” It’s now Minji’s turn to sniffle but still smiles as she wipes away the tears that threaten to fall from her eyes.

“How could you never say anything? Thirteen years, Y/N.” Minji complains while caressing the blue clip in her hands like it’s a precious stone. “Thirteen.”

“I got distracted with soccer.” Minji laughs with you and pushes you away by the shoulder. “Every goal I’ve ever made has been for you, though,”

“That’s so cheesy.” Minji giggles to herself as she pops the clip open and places it on her hair, it snaps shut with a ‘click’. “What do you think?” She says, turning to you. She tries to ignore your eyes and how sweetly they look at her.

“I think I love you more than I love apple juice.”

That’s the last thing you say before Minji smiles and gets shy, she looks away but her hand searches for yours and you help her by placing yours over hers. She fights back by taking it back and placing hers on top of yours. It makes you laugh.

The sound of your laugh takes her attention and now she stares directly at you, a smile on her own face. Her cheeks now take a reddish color, and her eyes shine like the reflection of the sunlight on the water. It feels like a deja vu.

You think you could stare at Minji’s face all day and not complain. You think maybe she thinks so too with how intensely she’s looking at you.

You raise your eyebrow when her eyes trail down from your eyes to your lips, and she seems to notice when your lips form a smirk. “What?” She giggles at herself, her already red cheeks turn an even darker shade.

“I saw that.”

“Weren’t we about to?”

“So straightforward, You should’ve been like that when sending that letter.”

“Oh my god, shut up.”

Is the last thing she says before she leans forward, she hesitates a little bit and her eyes go from your lips to your eyes, a shine of expectancy as if asking for permission, even when she already has it.

She’s about to close the gap when the both of you hear a chorus of gasps from the sea. It takes your attention. Hanni, Gyuvin and Yoona are all pushing each other giggling and gasping, hands on their mouths. You hear a faint “It’s finally happening.”, You can’t tell who it’s from though.

Minji is visibly annoyed, yells “Look away!” and it bounces in the waves. It’s actually insane how dumb she looks, red cheeks, furrowed eyebrows, pouty, perfect lips. It takes you everything to control yourself and even then you still can’t help grabbing her face gently and turning it towards you to finally, once and for all, kiss her.

You don’t really care if your friends actually turned away or not, because you can’t really tell with how glorious it feels to kiss Minji. It almost feels holy. You feel like you died and went to heaven in five minutes.

It’s a new feeling, a new experience, and it feels so familiar at the same time. Like flowing with the waves, like dancing with the wind, like drowning in apple juice, drowning in love.

Your lips dance like that for a while. At one point Minji’s hand goes up to your face and it’s such a warm feeling it makes you smile into the kiss. You start running out of breath and you don’t even notice. You could die happily if it meant dying with Minji’s lips on yours.

But then your stupid survival instincts kick in and it’s such a shame you have to pull away.

Both of your breaths are heavy and you burst out in laughter at the same time when your eyes meet. When your laughs die down your eyes fall on the pale blue clip that adorned Minji’s head. “You look so cute.”

“Says you.”

And then you hear cheering from the beach again. “Finally!” Hanni yells. You watch in astonishment, “Did she know?” You ask Minji while the both of you watch the three of your friends jump up and down in the water.

“I have no idea. I didn’t tell her. She might’ve noticed.” The cogs start to turn in your brains.

“They all did.” You and Minji say at the same time, then laugh at the same time. What a friendship of thirteen years does to you. And when you see Gyuvin and Hanni get up from the water and get closer to you, you realize you’re about to be ambushed.

“Oh, hell no.” You mumble right before you stand up and grab your bag. Minji just looks at you confused, “Come on, get up. They’re wet.” But Minji doesn’t seem to cooperate.

“Dude!” You grab her hand and pull her up as you run away as far as possible from your friends. You don’t even realize where you’re going, but laughing with Minji while running on the sand at sunset feels heavenly.

You look back and Minji struggles to keep up. Gyuvin and Hanni don’t look anywhere close and they probably decided to just let the both of you go, so you stop running.”

“We…” Minji rests her hands on her knees as she catches her breath, “We didn’t have to run that much. I’m not the soccer player here.”

You send her an apologetic smile, “Sorry…” 

Minji now can stand up and breathe stably. She looks back and there’s no one behind. “So, where do we go now?”

“Home. You need to get changed or else you’re gonna get sick.” You walk towards her to touch her shirt, “It’s still damp.”

“Isn’t your house nearby?” She asks, “I live further away, and it’ll be night by the time we get to my house.”

You squint your eyes at her, “My clothes won’t fit on you, they barely fit on me.” You flex your bicep and the sleeve gets so tight it’s going to cut your blood flow if you keep it like that. “And I haven’t seen your mom yet.”

“And I want to have dinner with your parents.” She confesses. “My first official meeting with them as your girlfriend.” You never actually established that but it’s not like you’re going to refuse the offer.

“You’re actually so annoying, bro.”

“Says you, bro.”

“I’m your girlfriend, bro.”

“No shit, bro.” Minji holds her hand out for you to take it, and you gladly do. You start walking in silence for a little bit.

“Also, my mom won’t let us make out at my house.”

“Okay, that’s enough, bro.” You take your hand back and walk faster to get away from Minji. She immediately sprints to catch up and stick to you.

“I was kidding!” She tries to grab your hand but you refuse it and take it back. “Hey! Hold my hand!”

You look at her and wouldn’t you know, she’s making puppy eyes at you. It makes you give in, it never fails. “You’re so sticky.”

“You wanna know something?” She says as you start walking together again.

“What?”

“When you kissed me it tasted like apple juice.”

end.

🗒️ probably one of my favorite things i've written i giggled a lot and had fun writing this.. there's probably lots of mistakes here and there but i beg u pls ignore it bc im dizzy i can't look at words anymore. Minecraft coming soon! love u guys 🫂

[ninzied]

mess of you, mess of me

another roommates au. inspired by this instagram vid. ficlet.

Some days, Henry thinks, there’s no worse fate than having fallen hopelessly, madly, one-sidedly in love with his own best friend. To say nothing of also being his flatmate and thus privy to every last detail of his busy dating life, yes Henry is well-aware that none of this is exactly ideal.

But then there are days when he thinks it’s not so bad, really. Today, for example, marks yet another Friday in which Alex has opted not to go out, for reasons that are unclear to Henry but that he will choose not to question for now.

For now, they’ve got a movie on, a pizza box and a beagle snoozing contentedly between them. Henry’s face feels sore from laughing, and Alex has had to rewind several times because he keeps getting distracted talking to Henry.

It is, in short, a perfect night, Henry thinks while Alex gabs and gabs away. He’s talking with his hands, wide, animated movements that nearly knock their drinks onto the rug more than once. There’s a crumb clinging to his lower lip, and Henry notes with uncommon fondness that there’s pizza sauce on his face too, somehow. Henry should probably tell him. His mouth’s still full of cheesy bread, so he gestures at Alex and then points at his own face to let him know there’s something there.

Alex is still talking, but he glances at Henry and doesn’t even hesitate as he leans forward. He lays a soft smack of a kiss right onto Henry’s cheek, just as he must think Henry's instructed. He hardly pauses for so much as a breath before he resumes talking again.

“Whoa,” Alex is saying, “your skin is so soft. What do you put on there, rice water?” He snaps his fingers. “Ooh, is it that thing I’ve been seeing on TikTok? No, wait, that was breast milk. Did you watch that one, do you know what I’m talking about? Henry?”

He seems to finally take in Henry’s expression, which Henry imagines must be frozen in something like utter shock. Did Alex—did he really just—kiss Henry’s cheek? Because Henry had pointed there, and so Alex had followed, with no questions asked?

“Sorry,” says Alex. “Was I supposed to do something else?”

Henry swallows the rest of his bread, admirably so considering he can hardly even breathe. “I—” Stop staring at Alex’s mouth. Stop. Stop it. The crumb is still there. How is the crumb still there? “You’ve a, um—” Henry gestures toward himself again, pointing at his lip this time, before he realizes what he’s just done.

Alex’s gaze tracks Henry’s hand to his mouth. He glances back up to meet Henry’s eyes, and then he leans in again, his movements now slow and deliberate. Making his intentions clear, but also making time for Henry to pull away if he wants it.

Henry wants no such thing.

He tips his chin up. His eyes flutter closed as Alex presses his lips against Henry’s this time.

If Henry couldn’t breathe before, there’s certainly no hope for him now.

The first kiss is gentle and sweet. The second feels a bit like he’s been set on fire.

Alex pulls back after a very long moment, looking as winded as Henry feels.

“Oh,” says Alex. There’s a new rasp to his voice, and he looks inordinately pleased about something as his gaze flits back to Henry’s cheek. “Babe, you have pizza sauce on you.”

“Yes,” says Henry, too dazed to manage a proper eye-roll at him. “Yes, I’ve no idea how that could’ve happened.”

“Hmm,” says Alex. There’s only a faint trace of sauce left on his own cheek now. Then, in a sly, meaningful tone, he says, “Don’t you?”

Henry slow-blinks. “Wait a minute,” he says. “Did you know, all along? That you had sauce on your—?”

Alex just looks at him. “How do you think it got there, sweetheart?”

Oh. Oh.

And at the grin Alex gives him as he leans back in, Henry finds himself marveling that he ever could have wondered at all.

[joemama-2]

THE BALLERINA

synopsis: Gojo Satoru is a man of power, status, and strength. nowhere in his life does he have time for relationships, let alone love. but he starts to question his boundaries when a pretty ballerina catches his attention.

tags/warnings: gojo x fem reader, minor fluff, angst, major character death, depression, strong language, sexual content, self-harm

word count: 2972

divider credit @cafekitsune

This story begins with a man and a woman. These two are from completely different worlds. They were brought together by nothing more than a simple bump-in occurrence. At least, that’s what the woman thinks. In reality, the man has been watching her for a while now. A man like him shouldn’t be nervous, but the woman makes him feel just that. She doesn’t even know she does it, it’s natural. And that scares the man.

Anywho, there’s a man and a woman. 

This man is named Gojo Satoru. The woman….is you. 

Now, this is not about how two strangers fell in love. It’s about how time got the best of them. How simple mistakes led to a downfall. Pay close attention because as soon as you think you have him, you don’t. Or maybe…it’s him who doesn’t.

Gojo first sees you while you’re on stage. You look beautiful, stunning, shining (literally). There’s others on stage with you, but his eyes stay on you for some odd reason. The auditorium is large, many of its attendants dressed up for the formal occasion. They watch on in awe, some even recording subtly. There’s others who whisper amongst themselves about the entertainers. 

“Wow, look at that one, her form is excellent.”

“Oh my, I love this part.”

“So beautiful.”  

The last part is muttered by him. He says it to no one, considering he’s alone. But a small part of him hopes you can hear the praise that’s directed at you. Of course you can’t. But he hopes. Hope is something funny to have, isn’t it?

His arms are crossed over his chest, a small smile on his face as he focuses on the way your body twists and twirls, toes pointed high in the air. There’s a smile on your face too, it’s fitting for the setting. The white fabric looks stunning on you, but you know what looks even more stunning?

Your eyes.

Gojo Satoru admitting someone has prettier eyes than him? How comical. But really, he’s right. He almost jumps in his seat as your eyes make the briefest of glances to scan your audience and he swears you saw him. Again, he hope you did. 

Hope will be a recurring theme in this story, you’ll come to find out.

Gojo is the first to stand and clap once the performance finishes, the rest of the attendants following soon after. You and your other girls smile, giving a small bow of appreciation. And just like that, the curtains close and the lights slowly start to turn back on. He wants to rewind time and watch it from the beginning, watch you from the beginning. If only being the holder of the Six Eyes and Limitless allowed him to time travel, that would’ve been very helpful in this story. 

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Here you are.” Gojo’s arm reaches up to grab the canned pineapples the employees just had to put on the highest shelf. 

You’re a little shocked by the presence of this strange man, but ultimately smile politely. “Oh, thank you so much.” with a nod, you grab the can from his hand and place it in your basket. “Don’t know why they do that, it’s a bit of an inconvenience.”

He chuckles, head tilting. “I bet. Luckily I was around, huh?”

Your laugh almost puts him in a daze. “Yeah, luckily.”

You thought that would be the last time you would ever see the man, you were wrong, of course. At first, it was creepy. You remember calling him out on it.

“How come you’re everywhere I turn?”

“I’m a magician, that’s why?”

“Or a creepy stalker?”

“More like a curious one.”

After that conversation, it didn’t help your suspicions. But he never went further than talking. Your optimistic, or maybe naive, side took over. So eventually, you let it be. If Gojo was there, that would mean you weren’t too far away. Days turned into weeks, then months, then a year.

A whole year since you met him. It’s almost baffling how time moves so quick. Just like Gojo, you wish you could go back. He never misses a recital, practice, anything. Gojo is always there to support you whether that’s on the sidelines or helping you stretch. 

His hands feel too warm for you, like it’s a familiar sensation that you haven’t yet recgonized where from. That thought throws you off a little bit but you’ve been pushing it away for a while now. Within the year you’ve known each other,you’ve come to learn that not only is he incredibly handsome, but he’s incredibly secretive. You don’t like secrets. You never have and never will. Secrets for what? What is that other person hiding? The uncertainty draws you away and the fact that he’s not even comfortable telling you. When in all honesty, you’ve told him too much.

He’s only told you he’s an only child and that he’s loaded. Well, he didn’t exactly tell you the first part. But the second he pulled out his black card when buying you a new pair of slippers after you others ones have been used for too many years, that was when it clicked. 

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gojo and you became close, maybe even too close. Labels and boundaries have been lost anf thrown to the wind. Maybe you’re friends. Maybe you’re more than that? I mean, do friends really touch each other like you guys do? Say the things you guys say? Well scratch that, there’s one boundary Gojo has set in place.

He doesn’t do relationships.

You were okay with that, really. Because at the same time, you weren’t looking for a boyfriend. You were too focused on yourself, learning the new dance for each upcoming recital, making sure you’re form was the best of the best. You were a perfectionist. So essentially, you agreed to his terms.

But can you really blame yourself? Who wouldn’t begin to feel a shift with the way he held you and fucked you like you were his lover, his wife, his soulmate? Never did you voice your opinions because you were conflicted. He was the first man who showed you everything, he was your first. You tell yourself it’s normal and that if you get involved with others, these weird feelings will fade.

However, you should’ve thought twice about saying this to Gojo while he was balls deep in your sweet cunt.

“I…I have a date tomorrow night.”

He freezes mid thrust, muscles automatically tensing. When he pulls his head back from the crook of your neck, the looks in his eyes in different, unrecognizable. Theres a frown on his face, a stark contrast to what it was before and he almost seems angry.

“You what?”

With hazy eyes, it’s hard to focus on him as his face hovers above your own. His hand holds your jaw, titling it up. The silence is tense. You suddenly get the feeling that you made a big mistake because although there’s anger in his eyes, you can see a hint of betrayal hidden underneath. Your lips part but words fail you.

“What did you just say?”

“What’s….what’s wrong?” you ask back, wincing as he pulls out completely. Immediately, you clock in on the fact that he’s turning around, reaching down for his boxers and pants he discarded on the floor. Panic sets in and you sit up hastily, using the duvet to cover your bare form. “Satoru, why–what are you doing?”

“Getting dressed.”

“But why? I thought we were–”

“Have some things to take care of.”

His response scares you and you almost want to cry with how things have changed so quickly. Your hand reaches out for his arm. “Are you mad at me? Please, tell me what’s wrong.”

Gojo hates how your voice can make his expression falter, but he pushes through, gently removing his arm back as he stands. “It’s not you, I just realized something.”

“Satoru–” you stand with him, tears threatening to fall down. He doesnt turn around to face you, even while buttoning his shirt back up, grabbing the dark glasses he left on the bedside table. You don’t even realize you’re trembling before a broken sniffle leaves your lips.

He hates the sound, hates when you’re like this. He hates that he caused this. For a moment, he closes his eyes and he turns around, forcing his casual smile back on his face. You see right through it, he knows you do. So why is he still faking? “Don’t worry, okay? I’ll see you around.”

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was weeks until you saw him again. And when you did, you knew things weren’t the same. His touch never lingered longer than it should, no more stupid flirty remarks, no more winks, no more sex. It was strictly…..friendly. 

You didn’t know if you hated it.

You fall to the ground with a frustrated huff, shaky hands clenching into fists at yet another failed attempt of a cabriole. The recital is in five days and you can’t get this part right. It doesn’t help when the others have moved way past this point, sometimes regarding you with looks of concern and impatience. You were disgusted with that, but you were even more disgusted with yourself. You force yourself back on your feet and walk back to the starting position.

“Maybe you should take a break. You’re obviously frustrated and you won’t be able to–”

“I will.” your sharp voice cuts off his, gulping down the lump that has formed in your throat. 

Satoru knows better than to try you when you’re like this, so he swallows down his words and keeps off to the side, a water bottle in hand. His glasses are still on and when you give him a glance, your irritation skyrockets. Did he really not even want to look at you? Has he become that repulsed by you? He has some nerve, blowing you off and treating you like a stranger. You didn’t even do anything and he’s being a complete asshole about everything for no rea–

Your thoughts are cut off by a sharp pain shooting through your ankle. You hadn’t even felt your body move, it was as if it had a mind of its own. While your thoughts were filled with vile insults, you failed yet again. Why are you failing so much all of a sudden?

Your form crumples down to the floor with a shriek, instantly holding the injured limb. Satoru’s body moves on its own too, within the second he’s by your side with wide concerned eyes.

“Shit, are you okay? Where does it hurt?”

His words don’t do anything. You can’t even offer a response because you’re too preoccupied with pain and anger. You can’t do something that you’ve been spent years dedicating yourself to. Sleepless nights and injury upon injury, this should be a slice of cake. It should be easy. But just like with Satoru, you feel different. Forcing yourself to dance, forcing yourself to a blind devotion, forcing yourself to be unhappy. But, since when has ballet made you unhappy? You didn’t know.

“Get away.” you mutter quietly.

His brows furrow and he leans closer. “Wha–”

“I said get the hell away from me.”

Using your upper body strength, you push him away. You wished you hadn’t. But he pushed you away that night, so why can’t you return the favor? “Get out and don’t come back. You’re making me mess up.”

He doesn’t speak for a moment. Gojo Satoru speechless is a funny sight, if this were a different situation, you would’ve laughed. But you don’t, you can’t. He finally finds his voice. “You’re not serious.”

That pushes you even more, gritting your teeth as you look up at him. “I’m dead serious. Get the hell out. Don’t touch me and don’t even talk to me. Your entire presence is a distraction and I hate you for it.”

You knew what you were saying was wrong and hurtful. You were aware of that fact. But they still tumbled out. You still cried in front of him once more. And he still turned his back on you.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Working with an injured ankle isn’t for the weak. It isn’t for anyone. Your teacher and doctor would’ve advised you not to, but they didn’t know. You didn’t even remember the last time you slept or ate properly. Everything disgusted you and you intentionally avoided the mirrors in your apartment, covering them with blankets. 

However the pain of forcing yourself to use your ankle, the pain of starving yourself, the pain of just existing is something you started to savor. You would laugh to yourself wondering what went wrong. How long have you been feeling like this? Was meeting Satoru just the catalyst to your inevitable destruction? 

As you stand on stage in front of the suddenly blinding lights in a suddenly uncomfortable attire, you pray in your head to whatever god that’s listening to save you. To take you away from whatever hell you were being subjected to. You’re holding your tears in so it won;t ruin the makeup you spent hours on. Your movements feel stiff and forced, hands tembling while you can barely even present a smile on your face.

You just had to have a solo segment. You just had  to say yes to it. You’re people pleasing even to the end.

Gojo Satoru just had to be in the crowd. 

You two just had to make eye contact.

And you just had to fall in front of everyone. 

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A sudden call too late at night alerts Satoru while he’s sitting at is dining table that’s too big for one person. He almost doesn’t want to answer, but as soon as he sees the familiar name, he’s answering on instinct.

It’s silent on the other end for a second and he begins to think you buttdialed him. That’s until he hears your voice for the first time in who knows how long. And God, you don’t sound like yourself at all. “Satoru?”

His heart is cracking while listening to you. You sound defeated, almost scared. But why? “Y/n.”

There’s a breathy chuckle on the other end. “I’m sorry, did I wake you up?”

“Of course not.” he wants to say it’s because he can barely sleep at a regular time, but he holds back. “I’ve been up.”

More silence. 

“Ah, I see.” he can hear the contemplation in your voice. “I didn’t mean to call so suddenly, I’m just….thinking.”

“About what?”

“You.”

Satoru’s heart clenches and twist in an ugly manner. “Funny, I was just thinking about you too.”

And you laugh again, so does he. For once, it felt nice. For once, it felt like how it did before.

“Are you busy right now?”

“No.” is his automatic response. 

“Okay, I’m glad. Can you…come over?”

Come over? He hasn’t been over since that dreadful night. Anxiety porus through his veins and he gulps, hesitating for a small second before nodding. “Of course I can.”

“I’ve just….I’ve missed you. Wanted to hear your voice.”

He’s already grabbing his keys and heading out. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

His long legs lead him to his car quickly, getting in and balancing the phone between his shoulder and ear. “I’ve missed you too.”

You smiled and you wish he could’ve saw it. 

“I’ll see you then.”

“...See you.” 

Three words are on the tip of you guys’ tongues. Three words. But even three words can be hard to admit. So, you hung up on him.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your apartment is empty when he walks in, confused using the spare key you know he knows about to get in. For some reason you always left it there. It’s like you wanted him to come and see you even when you said you didn’t.

After some wandering, he goes into your bedroom. Flashbacks and nostalgia hits him like cold water. His legs feel shaky all of a sudden and his breath hitches. There’s a small box on your bed that draws his attention. It’s white and wrapped with a red ribbon. Carefully he unwraps it, dread filling his stomach and heart pounding fast. Static is the only thing he hears.

As he opens the box, a pair of ballet shoes greet him.

Yours. 

Not just that, but a small letter.

He opens it with too much force, hands shaking. 

“I’m sorry. I really hope you don’t stay mad at me.

I had so much fun meeting you and giving you everything I had.

Please, live on for me.”

His feet are moving before he can fully register it, calling you as he searches through the apartment for you. Tears fill his pretty eyes and short labored breaths are emitted from his mouth.

His world stops spinning when he hears your phone ring in the barely open bathroom door. In truth, Satoru had a feeling he knew what he was going to find once he entered. His mind knew, but his soul didn’t want to.

Because before him is a sight he can never erase from his memories. 

A bathtub filled with dark water. A bathtub he would bathe with you in sometimes, rubbing your back and combing shampoo through you hair while you giggled.

You’re in it still.

Laying upright with no life in your eyes, a knife in your hand that has toppled over the rim.

If you asked Satoru what he thought in that moment, this would be it.

He wished he died with you.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And so that’s it. The story of the man and the woman. Happy endings are something neither were familiar with. 

The man now only has a memory that he’ll keep burned into his brain forever, of the woman.

The memory of,

The beautiful ballerina.

a/n: this story was loosely based off the korean film "ballerina". i loved it so much and it was just SO beautiful to watch. anyways, thank you all for reading! much love!

[oddlykilledghosts]

Someone That Actually Likes Me - Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: Working at Family Video and constantly being a witness to Steve’s neverending flirting, reminds you of how much you want to be liked by someone and like them back. It just so happens, at the same time, Dustin is up for some meddling between two of his elder friends.

I may or may not be thinking of making a part two?? depending on how this goes?? who knows?? no it should have a part two

Word Count: 4.2k

Pairings: Eddie Munson x reader, FamilyVideo!reader

The day was starting to become boring. There didn’t really need to be three workers at Hawkin’s local Family Video (even on a Saturday), but you had come into work anyway and pulled yourself together enough for the first couple hours. You tried looking your best, fixing your hair and putting on some fun makeup, as well as applying some electric blue eyeliner and smiling at yourself in your mirror when you topped it off with bubblegum pink lip gloss. You might not have been the preppiest person, but you sure loved the colorful makeup the 80s had brought on the masses. Hopefully it was at least enough for your flirting to be successful in getting customers to rent more movies. Unfortunately however, one of the only customers that the store had had all morning was Dustin, looking for another copy of Neverending Story (something about his girlfriend, Suzie, that you didn’t bother asking about further) and he had not even bothered to ask about your day (something about a pressing D&D campaign that was happening that very night). The other, a girl Steve was chatting up about what you were pretty sure was Pretty in Pink, even though you had never so much heard him mention ever even seeing that movie before. You rolled your eyes at the sight of the two; Steve, leaning up against the wall his body tilted toward the girl, and the girl not even the slightest bit self-conscious in the way she placed her hand on Steve’s bicep and laughed at something you were sure wasn’t that funny.

You felt a shoulder brush yours, and suddenly Robin was at your side seemingly done with rewinding the old tapes. “You’re sulking.” She said plainly, but even without looking you could tell she had a smug smile on her face. You and Robin had become fast friends. Faster, because you both loved to make fun of Steve. 

Sighing, you shrugged and said, “Maybe. Is it so wrong?” When Robin didn’t respond you resorted to turning your body away from the couple so that you could look at your friend and you found her giving you a disappointed look. Yet the smug smile hadn’t vanished. “What’s so bad about wanting someone to like me enough to pretend to like Pretty in Pink?” You definitely were sulking. Steve flirted with almost every girl that came into the store, it couldn’t possibly be that deep. But again, no one had quite been desperate enough to be an expert on a movie they’ve never seen for you. It had been awhile since you had felt seen by someone worthwhile. Flirting with customers felt hollow, however much it may have helped your job. 

Robin laughed and headed towards the computer to report the intake of tapes she had just finished with, typing fast on the keyboard. “I think it’s wrong when you’re longing for someone to pick you up with a Steve Harrington move.” She paused, feigning thought and continued, “But maybe it isn’t wrong. Maybe it’s just sad.”

“That hurts Robin.” You pointed to your heart and faked a pout, “Right here.”

Steve and the girl, who you assumed was now going to rent Pretty in Pink as it was held in her perfectly manicured hands, were now making their way over to the register. This meant you and Robin had to make busy and not totally fail at watching the couple out of the corner of your eyes. The girl couldn’t stop giggling. You almost scowled, but held back your facial features. It wasn’t embarrassing for her, you couldn’t care less whether she giggled for the rest of her life just because of this small encounter with Steve, but it still felt maddening to listen to someone else be so happy when you just felt bleh. Finally, before leaving the girl wrote down her number on Steve’s hand. Which would only be unfortunate for the boy if he found another girl to flirt with later in the day. The good thing for him was that you were close to closing and he could go home, wash his hand and be able to start anew the next day. Woefully, you would be there to watch.

You watched painfully out of the corner of your eye as Steve skillfully aced what boring small talk came out of the girl’s mouth as he checked out her rental. Gag. When the girl finally left, Steve’s demeanor changed and he was back to his regular self. Still handsome and charming, just putting on less of a show.

Robin beat you to speaking first by saying quickly, in a hushed chuckle, “Y/N wants you to flirt with her.”

Steve’s gaze immediately fell onto you, cocking his head in what was obvious confusion. And yet a smile tugged at his lips, “Is that so?”

The heat in your cheeks burned furiously and while you knew Robin was joking, you felt the undeniable urge to duck your head under the counter and stay there until everyone left. “No. That is not what I said. I merely want to be flirted with. By someone,” You shoved past Steve and picked up a pile of tapes that needed to be reshelved, “That actually likes me.” This time you really did duck behind the shelves, putting back the tapes where they belonged, thankful for the cover and blissful in not seeing Steve’s reaction to what you had said.

Steve’s voice followed you into the racks of movies, “Who says I don’t like you?” You hadn’t realized he was now standing at the end of the aisle you were in and bumped into his chest on your way to exit, dropping the remainder of the tapes that had been in your arms. Sometimes, you wished you had Steve’s effortlessness he used while flirting. You would definitely run into people a lot less. 

The two of you then simultaneously leaned down and began to pick up the movies when the bell to the door rang.

A new customer.

“Hello?” A new voice rang out. “Anybody here?” Apparently, Robin had been quick to hide in the back of the store and pretend to be busy while you and Steve worked with the small amount of foot traffic that made its way into the store. She often did this when she decided she deserved a break, and for all it was worth, she dealt with you and Steve almost every day so you’d say it was pretty well-earned. Footsteps sounded on the linoleum floors. “Helloooo?” This time the voice held onto the word in a singsong tune until it petered out softly into the store. The guy's voice sounded playful and amused as if this (aka a Family Video in Hawkins, Indiana) was all such fun.

Still busy with the tapes, Steve didn’t react to the newcomer and instead whispered a soft, “I got this.” to you before shooing you away in hopes that you would be able to deal with the customer. If the stranger to the store had been a murderer, you would’ve had to fend for yourself. Well, of course you had Robin but it was obvious you would die first in such close proximity. But clearly, when you stood up and found the long mess of wavy hair staring at you from the top of the shelf you were behind, that was not the case. He was smiling satisfyingly and his brown eyes gleamed from behind the rack of tapes when you popped up from the floor. 

“Hello.” He said pleasantly.

As you walked out from behind the stack, the customer followed. And when you finally reached the other end closer to the register and the door, it gave you both the chance to view each other fully. Your eyes went immediately to his shirt, and it triggered some sense of deja vu that settled in the atmosphere. The devil logo sneered playfully back at you as you stared at the guy’s chest. Unlike your unwavering gaze on his torso, his eyes, unbeknownst to you, hadn’t left your face. “You must be Y/N. Didn’t think you could be prettier up close.” When you looked back up, he gave you a smile that reminded you of the Cheshire Cat. Playful, but somehow devious. A new feeling shook through your body, ending up in your cheeks which were now charmingly warm. 

Your hands went instinctively to your face, where the new warmth was homed, in an act of sudden shyness and you smiled softly, “And you must be…?” Then you knew where the shirt had popped up in your memories. Of course. Dustin wore one just like it constantly. You looked further in your mind as Lucas and Mike also popped up in your head wearing it on certain school days. Days that always came with some obligation on their end. Then it struck you. D&D. Which meant that this was…

“Eddie.” He said with another overconfident smile. He didn’t hold his hand out to shake or anything, but was pleased when you kept your own grin. Of course you remembered him from school, even though his hair was a lot shorter in your recollections. He was your age too, although he still hadn’t graduated (unlike you and Steve who had done so the year before). Truly, you should have recognized him sooner. It wasn’t like Dustin constantly talked about him as if he were some mythical creature to be worshiped. That was totally not the case. 

“Right,” You said sincerely as you shook your head and led him to the large counter in the center of the room. As if by magnets, your eyes kept trailing to his leather jacket. Had you ever noticed how attractive leather jackets were before? You’re sure you had, just not in such close observation. Quietly you chuckled to yourself as you continued, “I should’ve known too. The shirt says it all. Dustin’s a part of your campaign, right?” 

Eddie’s performance of a smile shifted into more of a genuine beam as you got another thing right. The first was your unwavering smile, people’s expressions usually didn’t hold steady with him. Yet because he was still a little surprised you knew what a campaign was, he didn’t answer your question. People usually skipped over the D&D terms and just called it a club as it said so on the shirt, but it was nicer when people paid attention to the details. Especially about something most people in Hawkins considered so nerdy. Something people would usually turn their heads at when they found out it was led by a freak like him. You were trying, though it was obvious you didn’t know much on the subject. And that itself was different. 

There was a beat of silence between the two of you as Steve, at long last, popped up, seemingly having finished picking up the remainder of the fallen tapes. He made a load of noise as he struggled to get up and his sneakers squeaked awkwardly on the floor. Then, as if to further his inopportune entrance, the boy looked suspiciously between the two of you, trying to send you a secret look that asked if you wanted him to take over as Eddie’s guide to Family Video. You didn’t miss the message Steve was trying ‘ever so subtly’ to send you, but you ignored it. Dustin’s opinion mattered some, and you wanted to learn a bit why he looked up to the boy in front of you so much. Eddie was definitely different from most of the crowd you rolled with (though you could see Robin losing her mind over a nice leather jacket) and in this case, different was refreshing.

Taking things into his own hands, Steve walked over to your side of the register and leaned against the counter slyly. You noticed, amusingly, a piece of hair had fallen in front of his eyes and he was trying not to jump up and fix it. “Did you need any help finding anything?” His head was directed at Eddie, but his eyes stayed on you. 

“And here I thought, Y/N was being ever so helpful.” Eddie mocked Steve, an innocent look on his face. You thought back to high school…they didn’t have anything against each other, did they? Sure, there was that rivalry that Steve had fully concocted on his own because he was jealous that Dustin had another older boy to look up to. But other than that it seemed as if the boys had barely interacted. Then again, not everyone had gotten over “King Steve” as easily as you and Robin had. No one had seen just how nerdy and awkward (and sure, you could say endearing) as Steve Harrington really was on his off days of being a former high school douchebag. 

“Well,” You said as you flattened the creases in your work pants. “I was about to be.” This time you turned your head to Steve who was now a breath away, “I don’t think that Eddie will want your expertise on Pretty In Pink anyway, Harrington. I’m sure Robin needs help in the back.” 

Steve squinted at you while you saw Eddie hold back a small laugh. He, at least, thought your comment was amusing. “I don’t think-” And there were those brown, puppy dog eyes. Save them for the next girl, Harrington, you thought to yourself.

“No, I’m very sure that Robin needed help. It’s a mess back there.” You pushed Steve back out from the counter and towards the back room where Robin was most definitely not busy. “It’s one customer Steve, take your break.” With him sulking, you had to push him all the way into the back of the store, where you did happen to catch a glimpse of Robin watching Teen Wolf (just as Micheal J. Fox turned hairy) on one of the old TVs they kept back there. 

When you got back to the register, Eddie had made himself a little more at home. He was leaning against the counter, albeit the opposite side from you, and was playing with some of the rings on his fingers. You tried not to stare at his hands and the intricacies of his jewelry, wondering quietly where he got them all. And yet he had not made a move towards any of the movies in the store. The best thing about Family Video was the browsing, in your opinion. Sure, you had limited choices. It was only one store. But being able to actually have the options in your hand, and sift through favorites and classics was one of the reasons you liked working there. It was a tangible way to like films. And still, Eddie had not moved from the spot you had left him. Usually, no matter how helpful you seemed to think you could be, the minute you stepped away customers went with their bad selves in the store. Most of them thought they knew more than you. Which was rarely true.

Eddie almost looked uninterested, and a little nervous. But it was such a stark contradiction to how you had just perceived him that you questioned your own perceptions of things and moved on.

“So,” You started looking at Eddie and placing your hands on the counter in front of you. “What are you looking for?”

“War Games.” Then, after a beat, “The one with the computer. Want to play a game?” He said in a robotic cadence, copying Joshua’s voice. You ignored the fact that in the actual movie, it says ‘shall we play a game?’.

“Yup, I know the one.” You mused. Truly, you had seen most of the movies the store offered. Keith, the manager, made it practically part of the job. ”With Matthew Broderick, right?” You motioned for the boy to follow as you began making your way to the section of the store that you knew the tape would be in. “I really enjoyed that one. Sure, it’s fiction, but it shows just how far technology can go.” You weren’t sure why you were rambling, but Eddie just followed nonchalantly behind you, his hands stuck in his pockets as if he were a little kid with sticky fingers.

When you reached the section you grabbed the tape and turned back around to be met inches away from the D&D player’s face, almost knocking heads. He backed away first, suddenly shy. Then when he spoke, he backed away another step as if one wasn’t enough. You didn’t notice, however, that as he talked his body subconsciously tilted towards you. If you had noticed, it would’ve reminded you a lot of how Steve and the girl from earlier looked.  “It’s actually for Dustin, I owed him a favor.” Then with a more sarcastic spirit, “As if I don’t have things to do. Said he meant to get it and the only other time he could come back was during our session so…”

“As the leader, don’t you have minions for that? And isn’t Dustin one of them?” You laughed lightly, still waiting for Eddie to take the tape from your hands. 

“Yeah but Dustin’s-” He didn’t mention how much he liked it that you knew, at least in some capacity, that he was the dungeon master. 

“Special.” You finished, nodding with the secret knowledge you, and only a select few had of Dustin Henderson. “Yeah, I know. But wasn’t Dustin already here today? He could’ve picked it up then.” The tape remained in your hands as you talked, with no movement from Eddie indicating that he was going to take it any time soon. 

Eddie’s dark eyebrows knit together, harboring a soft annoyance there, although it didn’t spread to the rest of his face. Then like a light turning on, so slowly, “I think Dustin is trying to set me up.”

You smiled, especially since you knew Dustin would scheme to do just that. He meddles too much. “In what way?”

Eddie’s voice was low this time, all of his former confidence gone, scrubbing the surface of a softer interior, “With…you.” If it had been winter, you could’ve sworn that you would’ve been able to see one clear breath exit your lips at his words; as if all the air in your lungs had decided to vacate at once. Yes, it made sense to you that Dustin would try to set up his friends. But it didn’t make sense why Eddie came to that singular conclusion so quickly. And yet, you’d heard so much of Eddie over the past two weeks. Had you really tuned out Dustin that much? That the constant compliments weren’t just brags? That they could’ve been for your benefit. They surely weren’t for Steve’s. 

Then, as if in an instant, it all turned back on and Eddie straightened his back, “Well, this has been nice. But I actually have some unsavory activities to get to and I’m sure-”

Without thinking, you grabbed his arm stopping him from leaving the aisle of movies you were in. He protested for a second, stopping in his tracks, but turned back to you easily. Still guarded from the prying eyes of your coworkers as you stayed behind the stacks, you questioned the brunette, “Wait. What are you talking about?”

Eddie studied your eyes for hints of deception and insincerity, thinking that there must be at least some trace there for the simple fact that you hadn’t fun away yet. “Dustin, he’s a troublemaker. And here I am. In the making of his trouble.” Hints of Eddie’s mask were being put back up, and it looked as if he wanted to run out of the store.

“No,” You shook your head. “Go back. Why would Dustin set us up?”

“Right. Because ‘we’ wouldn’t make sense.” There was that wall again, still playful but defensive. 

You felt your eyebrows knit, “No. It just-” This time you were the one searching his eyes. Again, there were your memories flooding back up. Just as clear as day you had graduated last year and there was Eddie, floating around in your mind. In his band. Late nights passing each other after respective basketball games and D&D sessions. In the cafeteria. And in every single one, you found those deep brown eyes staring back at you through your own mind. The reason Dustin was talking Eddie up was because Eddie liked you. And in those memories, no one else paid him any mind. But you had. 

Had Eddie Munson talked about you to Dustin?

“Ask me out.” You said finally, letting go of his arm that you hadn’t realized you had still been holding. It had probably kept him from running initially, so no harm done. 

Eddie laughed, suddenly taken aback, “What?” Then realizing you were serious, “I don’t think it counts if you tell me to do it.”

“Do you want me to do it?” 

He thought for a moment, pretending to be vexed. “You realize if I ask you, we’re doing what Dustin wants.”

“Mm-hmm.” you hummed as a small response.

Eddie straightened again, this time with truer confidence, “Will you, Y/N…” He leaned forward, bowing a bit in front of you for show, which made you laugh, “Go out with me?” Then he perked up and placed his hands on his chest as if to protect himself from impending doom.

“Would you still want the movie if I said, yes? I have a quota.” You joked as you wagged the film in the air with your hand.

Eddie squinted at you, and yet a small smile tugged at his mouth and he staggered backwards. He struggled out the words as he held his chest where his heart would be, “I’m sensing that you’re saying yes.” Then he recovered slowly, his hands beating up and down where his chest would be and added, “My heart just grew three sizes.”

“Oh did it?” You smiled through a loud laugh as you put the tape back on the shelf. “I think you’ll still need a receipt though.”

Before Eddie could protest, you quickly walked back over to the register, leaned over the counter to grab a post-it and wrote your number speedily on the small piece of paper. Then, again, when you turned around to walk back you bumped into Eddie this time steading yourself by holding onto his arms. You had been walking faster than usual, with an excited energy around you, but was glad when you were able to touch him. Because yes, Y/N, he’s really there. Instead of feeling self-conscious, you stuck the post-it to the front of his shirt playfully. “There. Transaction done.” At the same time, you decided to ignore the two spying heads peeking out from the back room.

Eddie peeled it off his shirt gingerly and looked at it with a cocky grin, “You’re one of the good ones, Y/N.” 

“Like it or not, so are you Eddie. At least,” You smirked at him. “From what I’ve heard.” 

And then he and his leather jacket were gone. Not without him looking back at you as he left, for good measure.

You reminded yourself to hit Dustin over the head and thank him.

It took no longer than five seconds after the Munson boy had left for Robin and Steve to emerge from their hiding place. Usually, they wouldn’t have provided you any privacy during your interaction so you had to at least be somewhat thankful (even if you didn’t say it aloud). You sighed, turning around to face them, “What’d you hear?”

Robin, of course, exploded with energy the minute you invited her to talk, “Um, everything?” She immediately slid into the counter, leaning towards you and talking excitedly about how she wanted to help you get ready, even though she wasn’t sure she shared the same fashion sense as you. Really, she wasn’t sure she wanted to help with the fashion at all, but just wanted to be there before the date. Before you could remind her that technically there was no set date yet, she started prattling on about how you needed to prepare. Maybe Dustin could lend you a D&D book. She was sure she had at least one Metallica cassette somewhere. You were switching into a different social circle after all, you needed to know these things. You could tell Steve had filled her in on Eddie while they had been hiding together, though you knew she had been there on occasions as well when Dustin couldn’t shut up about him. This continued for a while, even after you assured her that you don’t need to change your whole personality to go out with Eddie. If you were lame and preppy then so be it. And then, to get his attention because the both of you had practically forgotten he was there, “Steve…?” 

Steve, who had gone back to reshelving some of the videos that had been misplaced by Dustin earlier in the day and didn’t seem as interested in quelling Robin’s ramblings as he usually is, smiled sheepishly, “I think Y/N found someone to flirt with. Someone that actually likes her.” He just quoted you, back to you. Get your own lines, Harrington. And stop pretending to be a responsible worker.

“And he didn’t even need to pretend to like Pretty In Pink.” You said, raising your eyebrows smugly in Steve’s direction. 

“Ha. Ha.”

[forever-rogue]

Hey there

I’m sooo obsessed with everything you write .. You’re so talented it’s insane

Might I request something really really angsty like heart crushing angst where the reader is suffering alone and pining over Joel while he goes on dates in Jackson (bc he never thought that reader is interested because of age gap) but Ellie notices and tries to bring them together

AN | Okay but imagine also some jealous!reader. All I will say is that there is a happy ending 🥰 

Pairing | Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Warnings | Language

Word Count | 2.7k

Masterlist | Joel, Main

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Another evening, which meant another disappointment. 

You sighed heavily as you watched him walk down the street, a pretty blonde woman happily blabbering away next to him. Your heart clenched and stomach flipped at the sight. You hated it, even though you were in position to have any sort of opinion on the subject. Almost as if he sensed your unease and prying eyes, he turned around and caught your eyes. He offered you a small smile that you didn’t have the energy to return. Instead you turned around and walked away, trying to blink back the tears that threatened to give you away. He was left confused, but his attention was quickly stolen again by the woman at his side. 

You hated that you had feelings for him; you hated the fact that you could never have him even more. 

But - let’s rewind. It hadn’t always been like this. At one point you were sure you had a shot with Joel Miller. He’d been sweet on you since you moved to Jackson a few years back. At first you thought this was how he acted with everyone; Ellie had informed that it was most definitely not how treated just anyone. 

And you let yourself get your hopes up. Maybe, just maybe, he felt even a verisimilitude of the ocean of feelings you held for him in return. But the times you allowed yourself to put your feelings on display, he either did not realize what you were doing or he ignored your affections. The first time you chalked it up to a fluke - that maybe you weren’t being clear or direct enough. After the next few times you were almost positive that he didn’t reciprocate your feelings. He was probably just putting up with you….the girl that pined over him and loved him the way the moon loves the ocean.

Over time you pulled back from him, spent less time around him, maybe yourself scarce when he was around. A little bit more every day you allowed the divide to grow. At first Joel had chalked up to you actually being busy, or just being in a mood, but eventually he knew what was going on. That this was intentional. You didn’t bother to explain yourself, didn’t even give him the opportunity to ask why. 

You hid yourself away while he put himself out there. Yeah, feelings really sucked sometimes.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You had been trying to enjoy a drink. One drink with a friend at the end of a long week; it was innocent and honest enough. 

But you couldn’t help the way your eyes gravitated to the door each time it opened. It was like the masochist part of you was wanting to see him and allow yourself to get hurt. 

This evening it hurt. You watched as Joel held the door open, a saccharine little smile on his face, as a gorgeous woman walked in. She was beaming at him, and her hand reached for his almost instantly. This had to be the third or fourth woman you’d seen him out with in recent memory.

“You’re staring,” Daisy hissed as you tore your gaze from the door and turned back to your finger, “could you be any more obvious?”

“What do you mean?” you tried to keep your voice as calm as possible, painting a sweet smile on your features.

“Joel,” she started, completely seeing through your bullshit, “it’s so clear to anymore with eyes, and probably without eyes, that you’re in love with him.”

“Daisy!” you clamped your hand over her mouth and looked around to make sure that no one else heard her, “shut up!”

“Why?’ she pried your hand away with a huge smirk, “because it’s true?”

“It is not,” you sounded like you were pleading with her more than anything else, “he’s just…another man. Besides…I’ve tried to make a move before - don’t laugh at me - and he all but rejected me. I’m not looking for any more humiliation.”

“That’s impossible,” she scoffed and raised her eyebrow, “he likes you! If you’re not looking at him, he’s always looking at you.” 

“No,” shaking your head fervently, a small part of your heart couldn’t help but wonder if what she was saying was true, “you’re wrong.”

“Babes,” she patted your knee, “I can see him right now and he looks bored out of his mind. He’s totally not even paying attention to what she’s saying and - oh. Oh. He’s totally looking at you.”

“Stop,” you sighed softly, fighting the urge to turn around and see for yourself, “it’s not anything and it’s never going to be anything. So.”

“So,” she teased back, “he’s coming over so be on your best behavior.”

Panic set in immediately as you wondered if you had enough time to run away - but he made up your mind for you.

“Daisy,” Joel gave her a nod as she grinned at him before saying your name and turning to look at you, “hi.”

“Hey,” you allowed yourself the briefest of glances before turning back to stare at your drink as though it was the most interesting thing in the world.

“Everything alright?” he asked, gently pushing for answers, “haven’t seen you around much.”

“‘m fine,” you waved him off, “better get back to your date.”

He remained silent for a moment, his brow setting into a hard line before turning to walk away, “see y’all around.”

Daisy’s mouth dropped open as she looked between you and his retreating back, “that was harsh.”

“Daisy, he’s on a date,” she sighed heavily, “he can go and be happy with her.”

“You do care about him,” after a few moments, you nodded slightly, “well then.”

“Can we just drop it?” you asked softly, “please?”

“Okay,” she promised, “okay.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Almost a week had passed since you’d last seen Joel. It had served as short of a blessing and curse at the same time. It made it easier to separate yourself from him, but served to make your heart yearn and ache for him. Over time, you figured, that too would pass and you’d be able to move on from him. 

But Joel Miller, a stubborn and steadfast man, was not about to make your life that easy. 

He found you walking home and practically sprinted to catch up with you. Part of you was tempted to ignore him, but then you felt him put his hand on your arm, “hey, stop. “

“Joel.”

“You’ve been ignorin’ me for long enough,” and yeah…he wasn’t afraid in the slightest to call you out. You stopped and turned to him, crossing your arms over your chest, “I think you owe me at least an explanation.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about-”

“Don’t lie to me,” he scrubbed a hand over his tired face as you shrugged innocently, “I know something is wrong, and I wish…I thought we were friends. You can tell me anything.”

“There’s nothing to tell. You didn’t do anything,” you wanted to tell him the truth, wanted to tell him that his only fault was not feeling the same way about you, “I’ve just been busy and stuff. It’s not that deep.”

“Quit lying to me.”

“Fuck!” you threw up your hands in frustration, “fine - Joel, I don’t want to be your friend. We can’t be friends. I don’t want…you.”

He recoiled like you’d slapped him across the face. In some ways, he would have that - it would have hurt less. You felt like crying at the look of surprise and disappointment that crossed his features. You hadn’t meant for it to be so harsh and brutal, “oh.”

“I should go,” go and crawl into your bed and cry yourself to sleep because you’d hurt yourself and him.

“Why?” his question was simple but pointed, “tell me why and you’ll never have to be again. You owe me an explanation at least because before all of this - I thought we were okay.”

“Joel-”

“Please.”

“Because I’m in love with you.” you weren't sure if you’d really meant to say the words out loud but as soon as they tumbled out, both of you stared at each other in shock. Well…there was no going back now, “because I’m in love with you and you don’t feel the same and I can’t handle that. And maybe it’s stupid and selfish, but I can’t just be your friend, Joel. It kills me a little bit every time I see you out with someone else, and I’m just here being pathetic and pining. And I’m sorry to do this, but the only way I can see myself getting over any of it is by not being your friend.”

“You…you’re in love with me?” was all he managed to choke out, eyes soft and wide.

“I’m sorry,” you stared at the ground, kicking at a rock, “I didn’t mean for this to happen. But you wanted the truth and there is it.”

“Oh,” you already knew that he didn’t reciprocate your feelings, but his response didn’t make you feel any better.

“I’m going to…go,” you didn’t wait for him to say anything else, turning on your heel and practically running the rest of the way home. You felt tears pearl up and run down your cheeks, but didn’t bother to wipe them away, instead running inside and slamming the door shut. 

That might have been the most painful and humiliating moment of your life. But at least it was all over now. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

But Joel…no. It was far from over for him because he had just experienced about a million revelations at once.

The most prevalent of which was that you were in love with him. He had no clue…not even a sliver of hope. But now he knew. He knew. 

He'd thought about following you home that night but had decided against it, figuring it was best to give you some space.

Joel even let a few days pass before he couldn't take it anymore. He had to see you, had to talk to you before he completely lost his mind.

And yes, he probably shouldn't have come to your work, but he couldn't stop him. You hadn't even noticed it was him when you heard the bell over the door to the coffee shop twinkled but didn't bother to see who it was. People normally just seated themselves; but this time someone walked towards you behind the counter.

You turned around and gasped when you saw it was Joel on the other side of the counter. You thought about ducking under the counter but it was much too late for that. Instead you stood there wordlessly while he tried to find the right words.

"Sorry for ugh, showing up like this," he scratched at the back of neck nervously, "I just really had to talk to you."

"A-about what?" Your voice sounded so small and squeaky that you cringed internally. You did want to seem like a pathetic little mouse on top of everything.

"The other night," he cleared his throat as your face burned. Fuck.

"Look I'm sorry about all of that," you sighed, cheeks way too warm, "I shouldn't have said anything and I'm sorry if I made things…awkward." 

"I'm the one that should be sorry," he whispered after a few beats of silence, "I should have just said what I wanted to. But I got scared."

"Scared? You?" You raised an eyebrow as he met your eye and nodded, "of what?"

"Of telling you how I really feel."

"Oh," you waved a hand dismissively, "I already know that you just want to be my friend. Look, Joel, I don't think I'll be able to do that. I can't just change my own feelings."

"That's not…no," and he sighed softly, taking a moment to gather himself, "that's not exactly what I meant."

"W-what do you mean then?" Your eyes widened but you found yourself leaning closer to him. He'd approached the counter now and was very close to you. Your heart was hammering against your ribcage and your mind was reeling with the possibilities of what he could say or do, "Joel?"

Joel hesitated for a moment before reaching up and holding out a hand towards your face. You stood still and when you didn't try to brush him off, he put his hand on your face and brushed his thumb over your cheek. If you had felt warm before, you felt like you were on fire now. His touch was a juxtaposition of soft and rough and had you preening into his touch.

"Can I kiss you?" He whispered his question, almost so quiet that you weren't really sure he'd actually said anything. But then a look of shock crossed your features. Joel wondered for a moment if he'd completely messed up but then the smallest hint of a smile crossed your features.

"Uh huh," you left dumbfounded as you blinked at him, "yes."

He ghosted his fingers along your jaw before slowly pressing his lips to yours. And you almost fell apart from even the simplest of touches. It felt so right, so perfect that you wondered why you hadn't done this a lot sooner. Kissing Joel Miller was everything.

Joel pulled back and gave you a questioning look, trying to gauge your reaction. Your mouth opened and closed a few times before settling into a small pout, "why did you kiss me?"

He laughed - nervous - before turning back to you, "isn't it obvious, sweetheart?"

"Isn't what obvious?" You exhaled sharply, "oh. So, you don't like me as just a friend?"

"No, I don't," he nodded.

"You like me…" you trailed off and waved your hand around, "as more than a friend."

"Bingo."

"You never said anything."

"Neither did you," he had you there as you shrugged sheepishly, "why didn't you?"

"I didn't think you'd ever want someone like me. Me," you wanted to curl up into a small ball and die at how pathetic the confession sounded out loud, "why didn't you?"

"Same reason," he was close to your lips and you could have just about kissed him, "why would you want me?"

"That's a silly question," you huffed slightly but nonetheless found yourself giving him a beaming smile.

"I could say the same to you," and with that, you couldn't stop yourself and kissed him again, "there's a million things to say but I'd like to tell them some other time. Like maybe over dinner…"

"Are you asking me on a date?" Your eyes went huge as he nodded, "what about all those…other girls?"

"Admittedly…they were a vain attempt to get over you," he chewed the inside of his cheek as he chanced a look at you, "and nothing ever happened with any of them. Nothing more than dinner or a beer. So."

"So," and yeah, by this time you were beaming. Your smile was brighter than the sun and prettier than the lushest flowers. And Joel Miller was a sucker for you, "nothing?"

"Nada," he promised, "but I'll let you decide…you don't have to give me an answer right now."

"I already know the answer - yes," Joel was over the moon already, "when are you free?"

"Any time for you," he insisted and you knew that was true. He'd always been like that for you, and you only. 

"Tonight?" You blurted out eagerly before stopping yourself.

"Tonight," he agreed, "do you want to come over? I'll make dinner and dessert."

"That sounds…lovely," trying to keep your mind in check was already a challenge. You knew exactly what you had in mind for dessert, "I'm off at seven if that's okay."

"Of course," he reached for your hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, "tonight. Seven."

"Okay," your response was a dreamy sigh that had him yearning hard for you already - more than he already had which had seemed impossible, "see you tonight, Joel."

"See you tonight, sweetheart."

[minminyoonjii]

i had such a brainrot about poly!ot8skz hybrid au with fem bunny reader where reader had gotten emotional about something (you can decide what) which led to fox jeongin comforting reader and the boys walk in… EXCEPT, it’s the scene from zootopia when judy is crying and nick is teasing her as she tries to take the pen off of him…

i just SEE jeongin doing this to comfort you and to make you giggle… it’s also kinda 🫣 enjoy ml!!

(link below)

🔗: https://youtu.be/8vOBExaLXu4?feature=shared

❤️Ultimate Masterlist

💜Rules and Guidelines

🧡Stray Kids Scenarios Masterlist

🌹CW

Wholesome|Domestic Settings|Fluffy|Fox! Yang Jeongin|Bunny Gender Neutral! Reader|Tooth Rotting Sweet

💌 This is a work of fiction, I by all means don't force ship anyone. They have the right to love whomever they want.

🍄Wordcount: 393

Tears dripped down your cheeks as you watched a kdrama so beautifully written just to make your heart sob. "Can they please just get together already?" you sniffled, watching the male lead die for the nth time. Your ears flopped over your cheeks, your tail twitching with each sniffle you took. You rubbed your tears with your fist, wearing Chan's oversized hoodie. 

His wolf figure was ten times bigger than the rest, thus giving you the best hoodie blanket in the pack. You blew your nose into some tissues, watching the female lead reincarnated again to save her lover's  life. Jeongin bit back a smile, pretending to be nonchalant, "What are you crying at, shortcake?" he asked, crossing his arms. You sniffled, rambling about the show, each word getting drowned out by your sobs. 

Jeongin swallowed a laugh, "That's it?" he said, just to rile you up. You furrowed your eyebrows, "Innie, it's romantic. It's love that has so many layers that even the soul can't forget it. I know it's dumb I'm crying this hard over a show. I know I'm really just a dumb bunny, but -" you ranted when suddenly you heard a familiar tape rewind. "I'm really just a dumb bunny," repeated back at you. 

Jeongin smirked, loving your shocked expression, "Bun, you know I always take your emotions to heart right. When have I ever disregarded your feelings, hm? Except earlier, of course," he said, brushing back your hair. You sniffled, hopping into his arms, "Asshole," you whispered, sighing in relief as you burrowed into his chest. Jeongin chuckled, holding you close, "Aww, you bunnies are so emotional," he cooed, pampering kisses on your forehead. 

You giggled into his chest, arm weakly trying to grab the recorder from his hand. Jeongin smirked, "Ah, are you trying to grab the pen? Is that what this is?" he chuckled, holding it higher. You smile against his pec, "Give," you whispered, comfy in his hold. The members tiptoed in, hoping not to break the adoring moment in front of them.

Jeongin rolled his eyes, his ears burning from embarrassment, but as long as your lips stayed in a smile, he'd do anything. You  burrowed closer, comforted by his warmth scent and his tail wrapped around your waist. Jeongin scoffed a smile, clicking the recording once again just to hear your silly giggles.

[casuallyanidiot]

Moon Waltz [Yandere M. x Gn. Reader]

Made this around a year ago for a Halloween writers collab on Quotev

There are a lot of amazing one shots from authors there, and there's another collab being planned for 2024 if y'all would like to check this out. The theme was Childhood stories, and I chose to base my entry on the theme of music boxes.

On Halloween night, you fall into a strange world and with an even stranger man inside of it. He says he can bring you home by the next full moon, but things start to become odd when you find yourself becoming part of the world too...

Tw. For confinement, blood, manipulation, long post

26k words

Music boxes had fascinated you as a child, specifically the more detailed ones. The kind that had pretty little porcelain figurines on top and flowers painted onto the sides were your favorite. There was something about the looping melody, the softness of the whole the, and the spinning little people living out their lives in complete bliss. You loved it, and often you would imagine yourself carrying out the rest of your life just like that. In hazy daydreams and bouts of pretend, you could pretend that you too were made of glass and covered in delicate gold foil, twirling to a lovely tune.

Of course, as a kid, your parents didn’t really trust you with actually owning any of these admittedly very breakable objects. In fact, after being caught playing with any music boxes in your house a few times too many, your parents had decided to pack them all up in places you’d probably never be able to find them. The ballerinas, fairies, and princes were all packed up in layers of Styrofoam and plastic, sealed away in some closet that your younger self was always too afraid to peek into for some reason. 

Still, you loved the music boxes, and you begged your parents to let you hear them, let you look at them and imagine, to create stories and lives with a simple set of notes and fine china. So, from then on, any time you did good in school or for any other sort of special occasion, your parents took one out for you and set it onto the coffee table. You would sit there, a ball of energy and nerves, patiently as a child could as your mother wound up the music box as far as it could possibly go and place it down. She’d walk out of the room, just within earshot in case you decided to be a bit too rough with it and leave you to your own devices.

You have fuzzy memories of those moments. The sun would be fighting through the cheap curtains, making the room all hot and humid. But the light was pretty, and from where you pressed your little face onto the table, you could see the specs of dust floating around in the air, taking the center stage under the spotlight of sunbeam. And while you dreamed of dancing with porcelain figures, the soft plinks of the music would thrum out. With each note, you could feel the table slightly vibrate, and you along with it. After rewinding it countless times, one of your cheeks would tingle by the time your mom came back to fetch it.

And she would rewrap your little ornate world back up, and place it back until the next time you did something that warranted such a moment of unbridled peace.

It had been years since you were that easily satisfied, though. Now, you were more interested in other things, things that a college aged student you ought to be concerned with. Namely, the bonfire that was going to be held tonight by the lake.

The October air was chilly to say the least, and you watched from the window with mild interest as a few brightly colored leaves were swept up into the dimming eve. You weren’t really trying to take in the scenery of twilight tonight, it just kind of happened to be that you were so bored out of your mind that you had started picking up on the little things again. In all actuality, you had been keeping an eye out for any trick or treaters still roaming about. There had been a steady stream of kids skipping down your street to pound on your door, but they had all seemingly disappeared as soon as the sun even began to set.

When you were a kid, did you ever head in that early? You could have sworn that you had stayed out at least past this point in the evening, but your mom had always made it a point to hand you a flashlight and trail close behind while you ran around, so it wasn’t like you really had that much freedom back then. If you had gone out by yourself, you would have imagined her demanding you back less than an hour after you’d go out.

But anyways, there hadn’t been any kids in a while which was good since the little pathetic candy bowl you had was pretty much dried up. When your parents left the previous day, they had pointed out the two bags worth if treats that they had bought in preparation for all the trick or treaters, but you just had to guess that either they were largely underestimating how many people came up to your surprisingly secluded house at the end of the road, or they had been skimping out on these poor children.

You shook the plastic bowl, bright orange with a jack-o'-lantern style face by the way, and stepped away from the window. Guess there wasn’t much left to do tonight. The house was tidy, most of the candy was gone, and it was late enough where you could call it quits and turn on some cheesy movie to pass the rest of night in peace before you went to bed. Pretty uneventful, but hey, you had done what your parents had asked of you. You flipped off your porchlight, the universal signal to any would be trick or treaters that you would be handing out nothing, and slumped down onto the old, plush couch set up in front of the T.V.

You sighed as you lazily flipped through some channels and streaming apps, before settling on some low energy movie and snuggling into the mediocrity of the cushions. 

If it sounds like you weren’t having a pleasant time, it would be, well because it was the simple, honest and sucky truth. To put it plainly, you had been a bit of a loser in high school. Not very many friends, not the best grades, and hardly any joyous memory for your youth either. It sucked, but you managed to get into a local community college. It was there that, for the first time in what felt like forever, you had started having a social life. We’re talking classmates inviting you out to lunch, going on spontaneous car rides with people for no reason other than to hang out, goofing off in convenience stores, and finally getting decent grades once again. It had been so long since you had felt this accepted, this welcomed by people your age. 

It was wonderful, to be honest. All that time in high school you spent imagining yourself in better scenarios, ignoring your hurt, and convincing yourself that you were fine with the solitude that being a bit of a social outcast brought you had made you miss truly feeling like you belonged. You didn’t know when you had stopped feeling like that in the first place, but now that it was back, you didn’t want to do anything that would risk this new life you had been building up recently. 

So far, everything had been going pretty smoothly, and even your rather protective parents seemed to recognize how badly you needed this, how much happier you had been since you actually started making friends. And even though you were technically a grown adult, they gave you their permission to go out as much as you wanted. It had changed your relationship with them slightly, too. No longer was it you asking them to allow you to go out, but simply stating where you were going to be and a rough estimate of how long you'd be gone. The only thing they had requested of you was that you turn on your location so that they could see where you had been or where you were. For safety of course.

So, when your friend who you had been gradually growing closer with had invited you out to an annual university bonfire by the lake, that was right by your house mind you, you were ecstatic. This was your first real party! Sure there would probably be some alcohol there, but there would also be a large amount of people attending as well. It was an event that was widely known among the youth of your area, and it had been held many years prior to this one. Everyone knew about it. It was safe, and it was an opportunity for you to enjoy Halloween with your new social circle. You were excited, to say the least.

And then… your parents said absolutely not. The “My house my Rules” rhetoric was strong throughout their refusal, and you had to admit a bit of defeat there. After all, they let you live in your childhood home after high school rent free. Seeing as they had already booked a small trip out of town for the day of and week after Halloween, they didn’t want you going out without anyone to look out for you. Not wanting to argue any further, you grit your teeth and accepted the verdict.

But now, on your couch, you scrolled through your phone and all the messages expressing disappointment but understanding that you couldn’t attend, a new determination grew within you. You were grateful that your parents were so concerned about you, but this was a chance for you to live a little! Besides, the location of the bonfire party was close  to your home, and you had traversed the nearby woods enough times to be confident in your ability to not get lost. You sat up confidently before shooting a friend a text in the large group chat.

Actually! I can come! I’ll see you there!

Immediately, your phone began to blow up with excitement at the news. You knew of your shy reputation, and you also knew that many of your friends were ready to get you out of your shell, to help you try new things, to let you do whatever and have fun all the while. You smiled to yourself and giggled. Yeah, you were giddy, but who wouldn’t be? For the first time in your life, you were going out into the night hours. For the first time in your life, you were going to rebel. 

You giggled shamelessly as you threw on a thick, warm coat and a comfortable pair of shoes that would do a decent job of carrying you through the woods. An infectious smile played on your lips as you rushed to grab a flashlight and a pair of bunny ears that your parents had left you as a sad excuse for a Halloween costume on the dining room table. You shoved the cheap mess of felt and plastic on your head before practically skipping towards the back door. Your phone was still nestled in the back pocket of your pants, and you were suddenly aware of what you were about to do.

Your parents, who had only forbade you for concerns of your safety… Did they really deserve this? Did they deserve this blatant defiance of their wishes? Of course not, but hey, if you left your phone at home, then they probably would be none the wiser to your absence. 

So, you went back to the couch and set the device down gently. Your mom would definitely be freaking out the second she noticed that your location had been turned off, then your dad would probably start calling you nonstop. At that point they would call the cops to the house and your ass would be found out. So, the best option would be just to leave it here and hope nothing too crazy would happen tonight on your way there. Hopefully you could get a ride on the way back, though.

You left the T.V running on low volume and left out the back door to venture into the woods. There was a big, infectious smile on your face and a pep in your step while you wandered off to meet your friends. This was going to be great!

This, as it turned out, was not as great as you had hoped it’d be. You frustratedly kicked a branch out of your way while groaning.

  “ Ughhhh, there’s no fucking way I’m this dumb,” you said as you stomped through the vague path made by the few people, mainly kids, that would wander through whatever particular section of forest you had wandered in. Yeah, that’s right. You, in all your excitement, had gotten lost. Who knows for how long, because you didn’t bother to bring a watch or anything with you.

The dark wall of trees loomed over you mockingly. Its colossal mass of leaves and bark blocked any view of the moonlight struggling to stream down, and you felt this crushing weight of fear that had not been there moments before. Your stupid, horrid confidence had tricked you into thinking that this was a good idea (part of you still believed it was), and now you were at the mercy of whatever lurked in the brush. 

Wind curled chillingly around the bodies of wooden figures and cut directly into you. Your fingers had begun to grow numb from their lack of protection, and you brought your hands up to cup the warm puffs of breath you let out to prevent fall frostbite. Your eyes, holding back tears of frustration, stung with the nothingness of the night. It really was too dark to make your way back home at this point. The path you had taken had gotten tangled up like a spool of cheap yarn, and you weren’t sure that there was a way that you could safely find your backyard again, much less your intended party. 

In your wallowing, your gaze fixed upon a faint glimmer from between the trees. It wasn’t particularly bright or dazzling, but the haunting void of the woods offered you no greater comfort. Even if it wasn’t anything grand, a clearing of some kind would be better than staying where you were. I mean, if you were already lost, then why not spend the remainder of the evening looking up at the stars? It was a weak motivator, but honestly the paranoia of the canopy was too much for you to bear. Who knows what was hiding in them? 

So, you stumbled about for a little longer. The tip of your shoe caught on roots that jutted out above soil, and your clothes snagged on whatever stray twig reached out, but eventually you arrived at the source of silver shimmer that you had spied.

It was a little clearing, serene and silent save for the rustle of breeze upon the otherwise still water of the pond. The moon, which you could finally see now, shone merrily on its surface. The reflection bathed everything in bright gray, a stark contrast to the utter darkness you had been struggling through for what felt like eternity. More than just the moon, you could make out the constellations stretching across the night without any interruption. 

You could hear no frog croak, nor the faint humming of bugs. The only thing that reached your ears was your own stilling heartbeat as you decided to rest against a fallen log. Truthfully, you were exhausted. The adrenaline of getting lost had taken a lot out of you, and you held little hope of actually getting out of this stupid forest until the sun rose. Part of you wondered if your friends would think it was strange how you hadn’t showed; You really, really hoped that they wouldn’t call the cops to do a wellness check on you or anything. You would definitely get busted if that happened. 

You groaned in relief as you sunk down to the ground. The cold and damp soil pressed into the lines of your hands, and you cringed slightly at the feeling. You would be super uncomfortable for the rest of the night, but that was just the price you would have to pay for being dumb. Though, as shitty as this situation was, the pond was kind of nice. I mean, it was almost glowing in a way that you would see in a pretty oil painting that had all of the brushstrokes still visible. It wasn’t the body of water you were looking for, but it was still nice. You appreciated the peace it brought you in that moment. 

As you sat there, trying to close your eyes and soak up your surroundings, you heard a very familiar sound.

Plink

Your attention was captivated by that single note. Your heart began to beat and ache for the hazy nostalgia it brought. You knew what it was. You had craved the exact thing as a child, and even now you yearned for the fuzzy warmth that you knew it would bring.

Plink

It was behind you, in the log. You sat up unbelievably straight and twisted to look through the rotting wood. You could feel small spiders and bugs brush up against your fingers, but you persisted. The soft notes rung out slowly, pathetically, begging you to wind it up so it could play to completion. There was a crevice where cold moss had filled in, and you reared your hands back like a snake before striking. It was a clumsy, exhaustion driven endeavor, but you knew you had to find whatever was making the music.

The tips of your nails bumped against something solid. Another note played. Another Plink; you had found it. With some weird sense of desperation you grabbed it and wrenched it out of its place. Your chest heaved with some anxiety as you held it under the moonlight. 

A music box, detailed and ornate like the ones you used to love. The glossy porcelain shimmered like it was made with the finest jewels, and you shakily gazed over the little figurines sitting together on a sculpted, crescent moon, smiling and sitting shoulder to shoulder in complete bliss. You laughed a little. How could you not? In the worst situation you had ever physically been in, you had found a small piece of joy in both the clearing and a trinket that a child version of yourself would have gone ballistic over.

There, on your knees with the dampness of the grass soaking into your pants, you wound it up. The little couple on the moon spun idly as you held it in your hands. There were bits of grime and dirt covering its surface, and you had to wonder how loved it had been. Was anyone missing it? If so, you hoped that they wouldn’t mind having the object find a new home. You knew that if any of your beloved music boxes had somehow managed to wind up in such an odd place, you’d be more relieved to find that it had been loved rather than ripped apart by mother nature. 

You could pretend there in that clearing with that soft tune, on a night made for pretending mind you, that you were anywhere else. That you were living a fantastical life full of romance, adventure, and surrounded by a kind of beauty that could only be found in little delicate pieces, painted with care and crafted to spark comfort. 

When the gears within had stopped turning, you found yourself more calm than when you had been frantically searching for a way back home moments before. It was funny how just a stroke of familiarity could ground you. You held up the music box once more to examine it fully, your eyes squinting with some effort. Still transfixed by it, you began to shakily stand up. You weren’t really sure why. Perhaps you wanted to just stretch out your legs a bit, or maybe you wanted to move around to get some more warmth back into your admittedly freezing body. It didn’t really matter as to why you stood, but as soon as your wobbly calves were placed under your full weight, you stumbled to the side.

You squawked out in surprise as you tripped and careened towards the surface of the pond. You held the little music box tightly, your hands automatically cupping around the figures, as you braced for the impact of cold, frigid water.

Instead, you were met with cold, rigid ground.

Shock raced through your veins as you bluntly landed on your side, all the air leaving your lungs in an instant. You couldn’t breathe. Your chest sucked in and in but nothing was happening, and your limbs flailed around wildly, searching for anything to help. You took in large gasps, certain that you appeared as a beached fish, while your vision blurred and you somehow managed to roll onto your back.

Your entire body felt like it burned, your heart was racing to the point it was painful, and the world was a blur of silver and black, but after a few moments of struggling to calm down and breathe properly, you were able to somehow feel alright. You didn’t feel like it, but you also weren’t suffocating anymore so that was definitely the better outcome. Your hands were shaking as you held them in front of your face, and you could barely focus on them properly. Beyond the tips of your fingers, you could see the porcelain box. It had rolled away after you had dropped it at some point. 

You groaned as you sluggishly reached for it, forcing yourself to sit up along the way. After briefly confirming that the object was okay and not damaged, you quickly came to realize one majorly glaring issue: there were no trees. There actually was nothing that even resembled the little clearing you were in. No rotting log, no moist grass, no pond. No, you were sitting on a brick paved path, the tile made a pearlescent white, shimmering as your gaze raked across it. You blinked slowly a couple times to make sure that you weren’t hallucinating, only to find a large gate before you.

How you hadn’t noticed it before, no idea, but what you could see plainly was its otherworldly beauty. Swirling white wood formed into a circle, Glowing bright in a way that resembled the shining pond. It resembled, to be frank, the moon. Your lips parted wordlessly. 

“What the fuck?” You whispered very confusedly. The more lucid you became, the more clear it was that you were no longer in the forest by the lake. You were, evidently, sitting in front of a gate that was attached to no fence, sitting at the end of a pathway. When you frantically turned your head, you were met with the sight of a sprawling complex of ornate buildings, all connected by covered wooden paths. The place was lush with plants and flowers, and lanterns swayed softly as they lit up their surroundings with a dim, comforting hue.

It was gorgeous, out of a storybook even, but it was, as you quickly realized, all in various shades of silver. What you presumed to be wood was a sleek dark gray, and anything else held the appearance of being bathed in… well bathed in moonlight. You tilted your head up quickly, and your breathing became rapid at the suspicion that had sneaked into your head. Up, there in the deep inkwells of the sky, were stars. Many constellations peppered the night like freckles, and they were clearer than you had ever seen before, even more so than earlier when you had arrived at the pond. It was breathtaking, but there was a lack of a certain presence that frightened you. There was no moon.

With that sudden realization, came a crashing noise. Your attention was snapped back to a lone figure standing on the path ahead of you, just before the complex. A tray laid by their feet, shards of shattered porcelain scattered about from what you presumed to be a cup, and the liquid held within it had spilled all over the ground. You were stunned, all the shock held within you being exemplified by the fact that standing before you was the most beautiful man you had ever seen.

He too was not exempt from the grayscale of this odd world you had entered, and his shining eyes had been surprised by your sudden arrival to his home (?). Neither of you moved from your respective spots, until an excited, infectious smile spread across his lips.

“ Welcome!” He spoke as he rushed forwards. He crouched down to your level, stretching out his hands and arms in a beckoning gesture. You curled into yourself a bit, the music box still in your hands. He faltered at your hesitation, the corners of his lips falling ever so slightly, and moved back. 

“ Uhm, forgive me. You must be frightened,” he apologized quickly. The rushed nature in his voice was not lost on you, and his kind smile was stretched too thin for you to really feel comfortable, but he was offering his hand out to you. On the smooth surface of his skin, you could see a desperation that was oddly familiar. Your quickly beating heart stilled slightly before you began to take in an actual good look at him.

He had silver eyes, reflective like the rest of the surroundings, framed by long lashes that you were sure touched his eyebrows. His complexion, a dark gray, was shiny like glass. You could see no blemish upon his exposed skin. He was as mystical as your surroundings. He was tall, with a lean and nimble build that showed with every movement he made. His hair was braided neatly, and you felt a twinge of both envy and awe at the way his locks fell below his waist.

Slowly, as if you might die if you actually touched him, you reached out and put your hand in his grasp. He laughed, softly and so quiet that you weren’t sure you were even supposed to hear it, and From there you were quickly pulled to your feet and tugged toward the complex of buildings. The man led you through the open halls, which were more confusing than you had originally gleaned, shooting you quick, joyful glances. The wooden planks under your feet creaked loudly, there was some faint rustling from the flora, and yet other than that, there was no noise. It unnerved you to no degree. You clutched the music box closer to your chest as your ears searched for anything other than the whispers of the wind. 

It was almost apocalyptic, like you had stepped into the end of the world.

Finally, after winding through the halls, he stopped at a room with a curtain for a door. He brushed the sheer fabric aside and pulled you in excitedly. 

“ Here, sit down. I’ll make you tea!” he insisted. He put a hand on your back and pushed you towards a dusty table. A little stove and sink was in one corner, and it didn’t take you long to identify this place as a little kitchen. You didn’t know what else to do, so you pulled out a chair and settled into it. He bustled about, hurriedly opening cabinets and getting everything ready. You watched him wordlessly, not really sure what to do.

It was obvious that this man was not expecting your presence here if the shattered glass, that he had left by where he found you by the way, was anything to go by. The odd appearance of this place combined with the way you got there in the first place confirmed that either you were hallucinating, or you had somehow gone to a place that was definitely not earth. Your stomach twisted into tight knots at the thought of that. 

The soft clunk of a teacup on wood brought you out of what was likely the start of a spiral, and you looked up to see the eager, smiling face of the man. The steaming cup was pushed gently to your side of the table; he sat opposite of you, watching intently as you stared at the beverage.

“ I wasn’t sure what you’d like, so I made black tea. Do you need milk? Sugar?” He asked, already moving to get anything you desired.

“ Uhm, no, no. I’m fine!” you insisted. He sat back down quickly.

“ So uhhh, what is this place?” You cut right to the chase. You were too hopped up on adrenaline to really wait any longer. The pads of your fingers rubbed over the sides of the music box in a self serving manner as you swallowed nervously.

“ I will be honest, I’m not sure myself. I’ve been here for a while, though. I’m Samuel, by the way,” he said, and you raised an eyebrow. He seemed sheepish. It was like he was embarrassed about something small, like a pimple on your back, and not an entirely different plane of existence or wherever it is you were. 

“ Sorry if I seem…A bit odd. It’s been a while since I've, well, since I've talked to anyone,” he admitted. “ I’m terribly sorry if I've frightened you. You must be very confused.”

“Yeah no kidding,” you snorted out almost immediately. He winced at your grumbled words, and a pang of regret hit you. You uncrossed your arms. “ I’m fine,” you relented, “ just confused is all. I got lost and ended up here.” 

“ I see, could you perhaps recall what happened before you came here? It’s been such a long time since I arrived. I’m not even sure I can tell you what I was doing before I became part of this place,” he asked. 

“ What do you mean?”

“ I used to not live here. I was like you, and I used to roam as I pleased. This was a safe haven of some sort, and I kept returning until I felt as if I no longer wished to go back. That was ages ago, though. I can hardly remember it,” he explained. Odd, he looked only a few years older than you were. How long could he have been here to forget everything? Despite your concerns, you introduced yourself briefly and explained how you had strayed away from your path during the night. You briefly mentioned the party and took off your stupid rabbit ears that you were honestly surprised had stuck onto your head for so long at this point. You talked about finding the clearing and falling into the pond.

“ So yeah, that’s when I wound up uh by that moon thing where you found me. Here I am I guess,” you shrugged, not really feeling comfortable with his intense stare. The small little tidbits of information he had given you made it clear that the man was simply lonely. You weren’t exactly sure how long ‘ ages ‘ was, but you didn’t imagine that this little complex of buildings was a thriving social scene. You fiddled with the little figurines in your palms. The curve of the crescent moon fit into your palm like it was meant to be there, but they were starting to feel clammy from your nerves. You gently placed it on the table so you could wipe the sweat off of them, nearly missing the way he perked up.

“ Where ever did you get that?”

“ Huh? What do you mean?” 

“ Where did you get that? I’ve been searching for that for such a long time!” He exclaimed, reaching over to grab it. He snatched it up quickly, a large smile on his face. He held it up like it was a newborn baby, fondness etched into the structure of his face.

“ Oh, I found that before I fell into the pond,” you explained. Your fingers twitched, subconsciously you wanted to take it back.

“ Ah, I see. So it was out there… I would have been searching these halls for an eternity if it wasn’t for you. This is one of my most precious objects, you see.”

“ Oh, uh, you’re welcome I guess. Glad you could get it back,” you said, feeling a twinge of disappointment. The soft melody of the music box wasn’t something you could easily get out of your head, so you could understand his excitement at your discovery, but still that meant that you  were the one that would continue to remember that sweet song for who knows how long. Whatever, it was fine. You could probably scratch the itch by digging through an old closet at home and finding your parents’ collection. Speaking of which…

“ Uhm, how do I get home?” You asked. Your query seemed to break his joyous mood in an instant, his demeanor drooping like a kicked dog. “ I just, you know, I need to be back before people realize I’m missing. I’d, uh, yeah I’d get in a lot of trouble if my parents found out I snuck out,” you lamely explained. You hoped that he wouldn’t take you wanting to get the hell out of here wasn’t a reflection on his personality.

“ You wish to leave? Already?” You nodded, and he sighed sadly. “ I see. Well, it is a shame, really. I was quite enjoying our conversation. You seem like you have a lively character, and I’m sure that there are already people who miss your presence. I would’ve liked to further learn of your life and what it’s like out there right now, but that’s quite alright. Here, I’ll show you the correct way to exit this place.”

You felt relieved the second he stood up. Your cup of tea had barely been touched, and the pit in your stomach had become unbearable. Screw the party, screw Halloween, you just wanted to go and curl up in your bed, pass out and pretend that this whole thing had been just a very weird dream. You followed him out of the little kitchen eagerly, the tension melting away finally. After this, you’d probably be sore for days based on how stiff you were. 

“ I hope I’ve been a decent host. It really has been too long. I apologize for how…dysfunctional my home might seem. It really is beautiful, yet I find that there are simply too many rooms and halls for me to keep them properly tidy. I hope you didn’t mind,” Samuel chattered on as you approached the shiny pearlescent path that you originally arrived at. You considered his words briefly; they did make some sense. It would explain why the table had been so dusty even though he seemed sure about that being the first room he had in mind to bring you. It was only him though.  That gave the serene complex a lonely, melancholic air. 

You watched the way his locks fell down his back. They shone so brightly under moonlight that came from nowhere, and you felt a bit irked that you found someone so beautiful under such odd circumstances. If only you had met him at the party tonight. It probably would’ve only elevated the whole experience. Damn, if only you hadn’t gotten lost. 

“ Here we are,” he said softly as you approached the circular gate.

“ Does this really go back to Earth?”

“ I should hope so,” Samuel’s laugh was gentle and clear as a windchime. “ I mean this is how you got here. This is where I would go through any time I wanted to leave, when I used to do so that is.”

He reached a hand out, ready to go through the shimmering surface of the moonlike gate. His fingers grazed its surface, and his eyes widened slightly. He pressed his palm fully to it before turning to face you with what you could only describe as utter confusion.

“ What? What’s wrong?” You asked, concern clear in your demeanor. His gaze was pointed towards the ground, refusing to meet your eyes. “ Did it not work?” You gulped. At this point, you didn’t notice when exactly you did this, you had latched onto his arm a bit desperately. Finally, at this physical contact, you looked up to see his guilty expression.

“Ah, it, uh, it appears that we missed the window.”

So apparently, the gate that you had entered through only opened once a month on a full moon for a brief period of who knows how long. Samuel hadn’t been able to go through, so, because the universe loved you sooo much, you were stuck in this weird realm until when the next full moon rolled around, AKA, in a month. Basically you were stuck here. 

As pissed off as you were, there was really nothing you could do about it, so all you could do was really sit back and try to relax. Samuel had excitedly dragged you to show you more of the rooms in the complex. There were an incomprehensible amount of bedrooms, though you didn’t have much time to actually look at any of them properly before he had dragged you off to what he was most proud of.

“Here! You can have the room next to mine!” He had exclaimed as he threw open the door to an admittedly very nice bedroom. “ I’ll have to tidy it up a bit,” he remarked after you swiped your finger on the vanity surface and a coating of dust came up with it. “ I’ll rest here for tonight. You may take mine,” he stated. It wasn’t really an offer, more like a fact of the matter.

So you went to his room with a bundle of clothes Samuel had provided from a wardrobe. You had to shake it off for a little before you felt comfortable sliding into them, and they fit loose and baggy on your frame, but they were soft and comfortable so you didn’t particularly mind. You were alone for the first time since you had come here, and it was now that you weren’t swept up in the chaos of your temporary roommate's excitement that you were able to take in the true craftsmanship that was surrounding you. The furniture in his room was part of a set, the bed frame, desk, small armoire, chairs, and wardrobe all having vines and roses carved climbing up the surface of wood. 

It was lovely, and the curtains both by the small window and by the bed were a soft sheer silver, though you were glad that there was actually a door here. You weren’t sure that you would feel the safest if there wasn’t. Granted, there was no lock, but you’d rather have some kind of separation from a total stranger rather than none. There was a series of knocks, and you weakly called out,” Come in.” 

“ I came to make sure that everything was up to par,” he explained. “ Is everything alright? I mean, I understand that you’re not here under the most ideal circumstances, but I mean, is the room alright? I would like you to be comfortable.”

“ Yeah. It’s nice here. I mean yeah, you’re right this isn’t, like, ideal or whatever, but this is okay. Thank you for letting me stay here,” you said absently as you fussed with the sheets and pillows on the bed before sitting down. 

“ It’s hardly any trouble. There isn’t anywhere else to go,” he said pleasantly. “ Ah, I suppose I should leave you to rest. You’ve had an eventful night. Sleep well,” he said, hesitantly hovering by the door as he spoke.

“ Yeah, uh, goodnight. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He left after that. You managed to snuggle into the sheets without much difficulty. You had to admit, it was the most comfortable mattress you had ever laid on. It was like a dream, and you thought briefly about how you might actually be doing so. Part of you hoped that this was all some weird nightmare brought on by eating bad candy or something, and you were actually back at home laying on your couch. This was too elaborate, though. As you tried to fall asleep, you gazed at the pond and courtyard just beyond your window, watching as gauzy curtains floated on a gentle breeze wondering about what he meant that there was nothing else beyond here.

It hadn’t occurred to you the night before, but it turned out that the time here didn’t seem to pass the same as it did in the real world. When you had awoken, it was still night. When you left your room and asked Samuel, who was sitting in the courtyard by your door, about it, he had simply replied, “ That’s just how it is.”

He then asked you if you would like to help him clean up your room, and because you weren’t rude and would feel bad if you did make him do it all by himself, you agreed. He became elated afterwards, humming quietly to himself as he fetched some brooms, buckets, and rags from a small little closet down the hallway. 

“ I’ll make us some food soon,” he said, a smile settled on his lips, as he handed you a bucket. When he did so, his fingers brushed up against your own, lingering there for a few moments longer than you what probably would be acceptable. “ Do you, ah, have any preferences?”

“ Not really, just as long as it’s edible,” you laughed weakly, pulling away slightly. He nodded. 

“ I can’t promise anything, but I’ll try.” 

The two of you got to work quickly. There was a thin layer of dust over every surface there. It made some sense; there was no need to hang out in a bedroom that wasn’t yours other than maybe for a change of scenery. Samuel made small talk with you as you swept, remarking on various items and books that he found while organizing things. There wasn’t much to be done really, the room looked as if it had been untouched for a long time. It wasn’t messy in the way where clothes and crap would be strewn around everywhere, but there were cobwebs that needed to be gone if you were gonna stay there for more than a night.

You had just finished up mopping the floors when the silver man paused in his dusting and suggested that you two finally take your break. You, running on an empty stomach, agreed pretty quickly. This led to you sitting in the open hallway outside of another small kitchen a couple doors down from the two bedrooms that were now being used. Your legs dangled over the side, your shoes brushing over the blades of shining grass. Behind you the soft sound of a wooden spoon scraping against a pan could be heard along with his humming. 

He had made you tea again, and this time you actually found yourself idly sipping it as a way to pass the time. It was peaceful here, you would admit that. Despite the large amount of skepticism you held, you had to acknowledge that as weird as it was, this was an okay change of pace. Yes, you would have rather spent your time doing assignments or strengthening your new friendships, but Samuel was nice if not a bit over eager, and there wasn’t anything inherently wrong with that. Maybe this was just a really weird way of making an equally weird connection with someone new. 

Plus, like you had noted many times before, he was insanely nice to look at. It was hard to not feel some small flutters in your chest when he looked at you like you were the only other person in the world, mainly because you actually were the only other person here. You were trying to not think about it too hard, though. You wouldn’t be staying here for long. Samuel handed you a small plate filled with eggs and rice with a pleasant expression.

“ It’s not very elaborate, but I hope that it’s enjoyable. I can make you something more flavorful at another time,” he said while taking up a seat next to you.

“ It’s pretty good,” you said after shoveling in a few mouthfuls, nodding with satisfaction.

“ That’s a relief,” he laughed. “ I’m glad that I don’t have to relearn how to cook or anything.”

“ Don’t worry about it too much. I’m not really a chef either. All I know how to make is some basic stuff like noodles. Oh, hey, that reminds me, where did you even get the stuff to make this?” You asked, gesturing slightly to the food. Samuel shrugged.

“ I’m not sure. It simply… appears. A Lot of items here just appear sometimes. There were times where I had to figure out how to use them correctly. Like the fridge. I’m not sure when it arrived or how, just that I had to figure out what it was used for. Some of my food just started appearing there from then on,” he pondered.

“ Hm, well that’s kind of cool,” you shrugged with a hum.

“ Yes, I suppose it is.”

Something that you noticed by your second day in the complex was that there was a lack of most modern technology. There were no radios, T.Vs, modern magazines, microwaves, computers or phones, landline or mobile, that you could find in the main building that you and Samuel were staying in. When you had brought this up to him, he had just stared at you with a slightly bewildered expression.

“ So you’ve never heard of a radio?” you asked a bit incredulously.

He shook his head. “ I’m not certain if I have. Perhaps you could detail it to me? It’s possible that I’ve seen one before,” he said earnestly, leaning over to you. 

The two of you had been sitting out on the lawn of the courtyard, just talking about various topics as they floated into the conversation. Your room had been cleaned out already, so now there wasn’t much to do but hang out. You had asked him if there was anything that he really had to do at one point, but as it turned out there weren’t any real responsibilities that came attached to this place. It was clear though that you were both interested in each other's lives, though, so getting to know each other was pretty high up on the list of things to do. 

“ Uh, never mind, It doesn’t really matter,” you laughed, waving off the whole technology issue. Samuel seemed hesitant to drop the subject, but then you started asking about other things, like how many rooms there were and if he had ever swam in the pond. Harmless topics like that seemed to bring back his excited chatter quickly, and the two of you continued on with your conversation. 

Though later, when you went to bed, you looked out at the stars and wondered just how long the silver locked man had been here exactly.

The third day you had woken up much earlier than Samuel, so you decided that it was time that you do a bit of exploring by yourself. He had shown you around the building your room was in briefly, you knew that there probably were more interesting things to be found in the other ones in the complex. You, in all your modern attention spanned glory, were curious and bored, so you quietly left your room so as to not disturb him and set out to check out the building that was closest to the gate. 

There wasn’t really anything out of the ordinary there other than the fact that it existed in this realm to begin with. It was different from the building with all of the bedrooms, though. There were more places that seemed suited for gathers of various sizes. From small, intimate rooms with couches, pillows and lamps that burned dimly to a large extended banquet table that could seat an impossible number of guests, It was clear that this space was made to house people. It wasn’t just this building though, it was the one with all the empty rooms. This place was supposed to hold life, and the fact that it seemed so desolate despite you and Samuel was a bit chilling. 

Still, you continued to look around, poking your nose into random closets and paging through books that were far too old for you to comfortably sit down and read them. Just like everything else there, there was dust to be found on everything. You had been thrown into a few hacking fits just by sitting down on a few dirty chairs, the upholstery pluming out with grime. 

Eventually, you stood in front of two doors, more large and ornate than any that you had seen previously, so of course you had to go inside. There was no way that you couldn’t, given the burning desire to just get up and do anything. So, you went in to discover, to your surprise, a library. Instantly, you recognized that this space must’ve been used by Samuel regularly, for one, there were signs of actual life everywhere. 

The shelves of the library went all the way up to the tall ceiling, and they were packed full of novels of all kinds of genres. There were scientific journals and romance volumes crammed next to each other, there were history books galore, and you even spied some copies of Shakespearean tragedies shoved next to poets that seemed to weave silk out of words. Your fingers ran over their spines, trying to decide if you actually wished to read something at the moment. It wasn’t like you were doing anything better, though.

Still, there were books strewn out on the tables, candles that had been melted down to the stub, and loose papers stacked into messy piles, even messier handwriting scrawled on their surface. Everything had this old, antique sort of feel to it, one that you would see people trying to desperately recreate online for the sake of living up to some aesthetic. You assumed that everything that was out of the shelves had been handpicked by Samuel, so you began to look through the novels.

As you did, a few trends became very noticeable. One, he seemed to be a sucker for romance. The books that he seemed to read the most, the ones with the cracked spines and softened paper edges were all stories of grand love. You hadn’t known him long enough to properly assess his character yet, but you wouldn’t deny that you could see him being of the tender hearted type, and these stories with prose that dripped with honey seemed to prove that. Not to mention, his writings were all poems that also seemed to focus on the concept of finding one’s true partner. He dreamed of it frequently, it seems. You put down the poems, feeling slightly uncomfortable with looking through something so personal, maybe a bit too late, but hey, you tried. 

Another thing that became quite clear was that most of the books and novels in the library had been published during or before the late 1800’s. You tried to think not too hard about the implications of that.

Eventually, you found a relatively easy read and settled in to really dig into the book on a comfy little couch that surprisingly didn’t have much dust on it. You had gotten maybe 20 minutes into it when you heard the sounds of hurried footsteps, slamming doors and your name being called. You jumped a bit when Samuel came bursting into the library, breathless and clearly just a bit frantic. You blinked at him owlishly as he panted like he had just ran a marathon. The second he caught sight of your tensed up self he let out a large sigh and seemed to physically crumple.

“ Oh good, you were here all this time,” he gasped out, a weak, trembling smile meeting his lips. He wobbled over to you quickly, and you could only really stare back at him.

“ Uhhh yeah, I wanted to see if I could find any books to read to, you know, pass the time. Is, uh, everything okay? You okay? Have a bad dream or something?” You asked with clear concern.

“ Ah, no everything is fine. I just, perhaps I got a bit carried away there. You’ll have to forgive me. I became very frightened when I realized you were not in your room this morning. Then I couldn’t find you anywhere else and I, well, I became worried for a moment. It’s all well now that I’ve found you haha,” Despite his small laughs, you could see that Samuel was still shaking. From fear or what, you weren’t sure, but he was obviously not alright.

“ Oh, well I’m sorry. I, uh, didn’t really want to wake you,” you explained, standing up so you could stand by him and offer a bit of support. You weren’t really sure what was the best course of action to take here, but maybe being understanding was the best route?

“ Of course, It’s really no trouble. No need to apologize. Although, if you could, just please let me know where you’ll be ahead of time? It would save me a great deal of worry,” He asked, his brows pinched up in concern. You bit your lip. This was not normal behavior, to be so worried about a near stranger disappearing and all, but then again, Samuel had been here by himself for what you presumed to be a very long time. If you really were the first person that had come here since he started living in this place full time, then wouldn’t it be natural that he was instantly clingy to the first social connection he’s had in a while?

“ Uh yeah, I can do that. Sure, uh, do you want to uh, go back to the courtyard or something? I wanted to uh grab some books first though,” you agreed and gestured to the shelves. He nodded quickly, and you didn’t fail to notice how he scrambled to hide his various pages of writing behind his back. You  pretended not to, more for his peace of mind. You quickly gathered up any novel that had caught your eye and shuffled out of the library a bit awkwardly. 

The next few days were spent just lazing about and reading any books that look vaguely interesting, and Samuel stuck by your side as much as possible. He tried to pretend that he wasn’t, making up some excuses about wanting to clean a room or him forgetting an object by where you were hanging out, but it appeared that at one point or another he realized how lame he probably sounded so he simply just started following you around the complex. You didn’t mind all that much. He was good company, and it was clear that he was just worried about being a bother. 

You had called him over a number of times to your side, and his bright expression was admittedly pretty lovely. It turned out that he had also read most of the books in the library, if not all of them. You found that out after he made remarks about a fantasy novel you had gotten pretty engrossed in and subsequently spoiled the ending for you. He had been very apologetic afterwards.

Like most days, the two of you would sit in the courtyard and the open hallways, laying down and talking about random subjects. It was one of these idle days that you finally broached a topic that you had been dying to know.

“How old are you anyways, Samuel?” You asked while lazily flipping through some pages that you had already gone through. He, who had simply been watching you, blinked surprised. 

“I’m not exactly sure. I believe that I am about the same as you,” he shrugged. Over the past few days, the two of you had become slightly more casual with each other. Spending all day within each other's company was bound to do that, but you found it to be interesting.

“ Well like, what was the last year before you started living here full time?”

“ Hmmmm, perhaps 1899? I recall many being restless about the incoming new year. You must have experienced that by now,” Samuel hung his head back in contemplation. You blinked in shock.

“ Dude what? You’re from the 1800’s!?” You pushed yourself up, more of your attention put on him.

‘Dude?” he mouthed out, confused by your wording.

“ It’s 2023 on Earth right now. That would make you over a hundred years old,” you explained, awe laced in your voice. You crawled over to him in what you could only assume was in a super unhinged manner. “ You’re like, super old.”

“ I am most certainly not old!” he cried, crossing his arms in protest. You laughed, the most open and expressive thing you had done since you had gotten to this odd place, and rolled onto your side unceremoniously, your body shaking with little snorts. At your response, he could only grin.

“ Come now! You can’t be serious!” he laughed. “ I am not!”

“ You totally are dude!” you playfully shot back. From there, your conversation devolved into a messy tangle of jabs, giggles, and jokes.

 The quietness of the complex melted away slowly as you filled it with the music of your voices intertwining. You would say something silly, and Samuel would respond with naive confusion. He wasn’t used to your kind of humor, but by god was he trying. You could see it in the small pinch of his brows before he would throw all of his 17th century logic to the wind and join in on your fun. 

It was almost like you were a kid again, playing with some other child that you would probably never see again after you left the park. A temporary best friend who you would spill your entire family’s business to as you ran around a swing set. That’s what Samuel was to you in a way. There was actually something kind of freeing about knowing that anything that happened in that weird realm would stay there with him. There was really no reason why you couldn’t be friends with him, even if any relationship built wasn’t very permanent. Besides, he seemed to actively want to interact with you at nearly all points of the day(?) despite knowing that you would be going away in about three weeks, so who were you to really deny that?

At some point the gate had changed in appearance. You had noticed on maybe a week into your stay while taking what you guessed to be a morning walk. The library had been calling your name, probably a product of nothing else but boredom, and you had taken a quick glance in its direction. You stopped in your tracks when you saw that part of the circle had been darkened. 

“ Huh,” you managed out weakly. That was certainly strange, you would have to ask Samuel about that later.

“ Why don’t you clean the rest of the rooms?” You asked him the next day. You had been doodling on a piece of paper while he had been writing what you assumed to be a poem. He had finally gotten comfortable enough with you to actually start doing things that he liked to pass the time, and the two of you had settled into a random drawing room with a table low to the ground. There was a plate of cookies and two steaming mugs of hot chocolate that you had made before your little hangout session had begun. He had been slightly wary of your presence in the kitchen, but you just had to shoo him off so that you could actually treat him to something.

It wasn’t like you were a super experienced baker or anything, but still, you just wanted to do a little something for him. 

“Hmm, I haven’t considered it in a while. A while ago I attempted to keep this entire place spotless, but after a while of doing so, I failed to see the point. It was an Era, as you would say,” He explained, pausing his writing for a moment to visibly think about it. The fountain pen perched in his fingers dripped ink slightly, causing a small, black splatter to appear on the paper. You giggled softly. “ Why? Do you wish to see them clean? I’ll do so if you want. All I ask is that you stay by my side and help as needed,” he offered, very sincerely too. You tried not to think of the way your face might have flushed at that, nor did you pay any mind to the tingling feeling racing up your skin.

“ Nah, I was just wondering. It would be a pretty big project to upkeep this place like how you do with our rooms. Though it would be something to do. Maybe we could pick a random room and clean it up tomorrow?” You suggested as you ran a stick of charcoal on your own paper, creating random lines and swirls. From the corner of your eyes, you could see his lips curl into a fond smile.

You didn’t want to meet his gaze, for you were harboring a sneaking suspicion that you were developing a crush on your new friend. Sure you had only known him for a week, but stranger things had happened. Plus, considering your isolation in high school and middle school, you never really had the chance to explore friendship much less romance. You were sure that Samuel was in a similar position; you could tell by the way his fingers would linger on your skin when ever he pushed you gently into wherever he wanted you to go, by the ways he would look at you as if you were the air he breathed, by way he acted like you were his last chance at anything and everything. 

That was a kind of attention you never had before, and had to admit that it was nice. The connection you had each other felt like a heavy blanket after an exhausting day. At least to you it did. But you knew that you really shouldn’t give in. You were going to leave soon, in like three weeks no less, and that gave you plenty of reasons to not give in to the warm feeling spreading through your chest whenever he gave you a smile. It was hard to ignore, though. 

“ That sounds like a lovely idea. Sounds like we’ll have a busy day ahead of us.”

From there your conversation fell into a comfortable silence. You focused mainly on your growing stack of drawings, the soft skrtching of both of your chosen utensils filling the space with noise. You drew corners of your home as best you could, some of your friends from college, jack-o'-lanterns, really whatever that floated into your mind at the moment. When you finally took a moment to pause from your “work”, you noticed that it was really quiet. Looking up, you could see that Samuel at some point had dozed off.

His arms rested against the table, his sleeves stained by the now dried ink of his poem, the words being a smudged mess of meter and rhyme. His braided locs fell over his face and back which softly rose and fell with every breath he took in. Your lips parted in slight surprise. Without really thinking about it, you leaned over the table to further see his resting visage. You drank in the way his long, silver lashes brushed up against his cheekbones. You blinked for a couple of moments, unsure of what to do. Honestly, you didn’t want to wake him up from his slumber, but you also didn’t want to keep staring at him. It was so unfair. He was too pretty to be real.

So, you quickly scribbled a note that you would be out exploring the rest of the complex and left it on the table before you scurried out of the drawing room as silently as you could. The creaking floors made it hard to do, but other than Samuel’s face scrunching up at a particularly loud squeak, you got out of there without disturbing him. From there you decided to walk through a building you hadn’t been to yet. 

It was cold there. Not just in the temperature, but in the general feel of the realm too. You looked on to the vast expanse of nothingness that stretched beyond the railings of the hallway, at the gray ground, at the stars that freckled the eternal night. There was no warmth, no love, no life here other than Samuel. You briefly recalled what he said to you when you had first met. How he was a part of this place now.

Did that mean he couldn’t leave?

You shrugged off the thought. He said it himself; he chose to be here. You probably shouldn’t pry into the matter. If you did, you weren’t certain that you could feel guiltless about leaving him behind here.

Today, you wanted to go to the building that sat just behind the other ones. It wasn’t by much, but you actively had to go slightly out of the way of the ones that surrounded the courtyard to get there. It had a slightly more gloomy air to it, but that only grew your interest further. 

There were fewer silver lamps glowing on its pathway than everywhere else, something that you thought pretty odd. Even more strange was the dust that covered the floorboards leading up to its darkened entrance. Dust was present everywhere here, it was just a fact, but none of the halls had been this neglected. Maybe Samuel just didn’t have any real reason to come here. 

You walked up to the double doors that led into the rest of the buildings, a bit strange considering that most of the buildings didn’t have anything other than the rooms that were purely indoors. Just another thing to make this one stand out. A trail of your footprints against the dust led up to where you were standing as you gave a couple hard yanks to the entrance before they finally gave way. Inside was almost completely pitch black save for a small window at the end of the hall letting in some shimmering light.

It was pretty eerie, but there was nothing to suggest that there was anything that would actively hurt you here, plus you had already come this far. You entered the dark building, peering at the closed doors with interest. You gripped onto the handle of the nearest one, attempting to push it open, but you didn’t have much luck. Locked, great. You huffed in slight frustration and moved on to try and get into any of the other rooms, but it was the same thing: A bunch of doors that wouldn’t open and your burning curiosity. You made your way down the hall attempting again and again until you finally reached the end of the hall. You were so close to the window that your shadow loomed across the floorboards in a warped manner. Part of you wondered if the light from the stars was really bright enough to have that kind of effect, the others just ignored it for the sake of having fewer unanswered questions. 

At that point, you had kind of given up on your little adventure, but you pushed on to the very last door without much fanfare. When you twisted the knob and pushed, this time instead of being met with nothing, when it clicked open. Your eyes lit up in success, and you couldn’t help the little triumphant grin that crossed onto your face as you found somewhere to finally explore.

The room you went into was probably the dirtiest you’d seen yet, though the locked ones were probably in a worse state. There wasn’t that much furniture there to begin with, but what did occupy the space wasn't in good shape. A chair that had likely once been highly ornate and pristine had been flipped over, part of the upholstery ripped out, and one of the arms as well as a leg had been smashed so harshly into the ground that the floorboards had cracked slightly, and the carved wood splintered all over the floor. 

There was a vanity pushed up against the wall, small gashes on the table top, the mirror shattered with glass shards littering the area around it. In the reflective surface, you could see where it had been hit, the impact leaving a spider web of cracks.

The thing that caught your eye the most was the wardrobe, a milky sort of off white, rickety and aged, with its doors thrown open. Its contents spilled out onto the floor in a haphazard manner. 

It was trash. Like actual garbage. There were candy bar wrappers, empty soda cans and chip bags stacked on each other and crumpled in a careless fashion. You stooped down and gently picked up one of the bags, the plastic crinkling along the lines of your hands, and swallowed down the uneasiness as you realized that you recognized the brand. You remembered the label too. 

Taking a glance at all the other pieces of waste around the room only confirmed that these were all from your world, all varying from different years based on the graphic designs, except that they were all in the silver and gray shades that coated the realm. Had Samuel saved all of these? If so, how had he been getting them? He said himself that he didn’t leave anymore, and his lack of knowledge about current events and culture didn’t suggest otherwise. You set down the chip bag gently, choosing instead to inspect the vanity and its drawers. 

You expected to find more garbage in there, but surprisingly instead you found various old beauty products. A couple of powders, some eyeshadow, pots of eyeliners, rogue, and lipstick. None of them were pigmented, but if you squinted you could pretend that you saw some shades of color. A bit of scarlet red here, some bright coral there, all dull and shining against the pads of your fingers. You held them up close to your eyes to further inspect how they glimmered. 

“ What are you doing?”

You turned around quickly, eyes wide and heart beating wildly. You put your hand to your chest, letting out a relieved sigh at the sight of Samuel standing in the doorway with a hard to read expression.

“ You scared me,” you said, lungs heaving just a bit. He walked into the room, eyes cold as he took in the piles of trash. He chose to go directly up to you, gently taking the pot of blush out of your hands and setting it on the shattered vanity.

“ Don’t touch that. Who knows how long it’s been there,” he softly muttered. You held your breath. He stood so closely that you could feel his words ghosting on the shell of your ear, sliding down the crook of your neck, warm and melancholic. 

“ I was just exploring. This was the only door I could open,” you explained. You shifted slightly on the balls of your feet. The sullenness of his face was enough to tell you that you probably shouldn’t have been in here. It was kind of obvious that that might’ve been the case given the state of the whole building, but you didn’t expect the hurt present on his face. “ What is all of this?” You asked, gesturing to the pile of discarded wrappings. Samuel grimaced slightly. A sore subject it seemed.

“ You don’t, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” you rushed out, but he only sighed and wiped his hand nervously on his face.

“No, no it’s alright. I can, I can tell you. Could we, perhaps, go somewhere else?”

His voice cracked slightly, like he was being burned alive with tears. You nodded without thinking, your hands still smeared with makeup, and led him by the wrist out of the dark building. 

His vision was downcast, but he kept up with your pace as the two of you padded towards the courtyard. You stepped down onto the grass before sitting down next to each other, his tall frame resting against the side of yours. Being there with him like that felt like being a part of a puzzle that had just been completed; It was just right.

“ You okay?” you asked. Samuel was blankly staring at the surface of the pond. The gentle wind rustled through the bushes and small trees. He shielded you from the chill.

“ I suppose,” he shrugged. “ That place is just… It holds a lot of awful memories for me.” 

You thought back to the wrecked appearance, how abandoned the building felt. It was like an old tomb, forbidden and desolate. Still its structure loomed on not too far from your little haven, threatening the peace silently. 

“ Objects come here from your world, you know. Things people have lost, things people have tossed aside. Sometimes when the moon is full, I’ll find them by the gate. And when I do, they’re always so colorful. And I know, they’re things that have been discarded. They’re dirty, but I have no color like that. So I keep them, I look at them until they become like me, and when they lose all their vibrancy, I put them in that building.” His voice rumbled softly, coursing through your skin, twisting your stomach into knots. He took a shaky gasp.

“ I- forgive me, I just can’t help it. Whenever I go there…”

“ It’s okay. You don’t have to explain it. I get it. I’m sorry for making you go there. I mean, all you have to say is you don’t want to be there. If it makes you feel bad, then I understand. That’s all I need to know. If it hurts you, that’s reason enough,” you offered in a quiet whisper. You could feel him nod against you, the edge of his fingers finding your palm. You let your hand slip into his, and you could feel him let it lay in his grasp before he tightened it like you were his last lifeline. 

As you sat there hesitantly enjoying his warmth, you wondered if the way the edges of your skin appeared in a shimmering gray was a trick of the dim lighting in a shattered mirror. 

Somehow, you had fallen into the pond in the courtyard. It was probably a symptom of you not properly gathering your balance before walking,  Samuel having just called you to eat moments before. It mirrored your arrival, save for actually crashing into the water instead of another world. 

You groaned as you wiped off the droplets clouding up your vision. Man, your clothes were soaked now. It wasn’t like you had anything else better to do, but you were lazy, so it was more annoying than anything. The chill of the water combined with the wind made you shudder as you climbed out of the pond, its surface sloshing around you noisily. 

“ [Name]?” Samuel called out from the kitchen. You could hear the clanking of plates. Ever since yesterday and your admittedly intimate conversation, he had been calling you by your name more freely. You had to guess it was part of the 1800’s manners that still lingered within him.

“ I’ll be there in a second!” You yelled back, stumbling as you did so. He must’ve heard the struggling in your voice because as soon as you spoke he was poking his head out from the doorway with a concerned expression. He took in your drowned rat appearance, his eyes growing wide.

“ [Name]! “ he cried out. He rushed over to your side, grabbing your arm and quickly pulling you out onto dry land. This was the least gentle he had been since you got here, panic clear in his demeanor. He practically dragged you over to the wooden halls, forcing you to sit down as he began to frantically look you over.

“ Are you hurt anywhere? Here?” he asked as he grabbed onto your leg, rolling up the leg of your pants to check your skin for any sign of bruising. You practically had to kick your way out of his tightened hold.

“ Hey! Hey! I’m fine! I just slipped! “ you protested, laughing a little weakly too. You placed your hands on his shoulders to try and calm him down a bit. Samuel frowned deeply, and you hesitated. Was he still feeling sensitive from yesterday? Probably. You let your touch linger. Your pinky played with one of his locs idly. You smiled at him as best you could, but you had to admit that you were freezing at that point. The cold air of the realm cut into your bones. You shivered, and the reaction did nothing to calm him down.

“ You’ll get sick,” he mumbled, watching the way the water dripped from your clothes onto his dark skin. 

“ I should be fine If I get dressed. Here, let me get up, I’ll go to my room.”

“ No, mine has a fireplace, You’ll be warmer in there,” he stood up, putting his arms under your armpits and hoisting you onto your feet. You cried out as you grabbed onto the front of his shirt in shock. He dragged you towards his room, threw the door open and had you sit down on one of the chairs. You cringed as you could feel the upholstery grow soggy underneath you.

Samuel was rifling through his wardrobe, pulling out sleep clothes and a few fluffy towels. He wordlessly crossed the expanse of his room towards you, and began to wrap the fabric around you, rubbing the sides of your arms. 

“ Here,” he said as he handed you a silken shirt and a pair of pants. You noticed how they were much larger than your own frame, much more befitting the man before you. 

“ Thanks,” you replied weakly. You patiently waited for him to leave the room, but he stood still, blankly staring at your hunched over self. You quirked a brow at him, gesturing for the door. Instead of leaving, Samuel turned his back to you and began to fuss with the fireplace and the basket of wood  sitting on the floor.

“ I won’t… I won’t look. Please, just tidy yourself,” he spoke in a wavering voice. You could see the way his Adam's apple bobbed. You were uneasy, but there was no reason really not to. So, you quickly shimmied out of your sopping outfit and changed into the clean one provided, all the while practically glaring at him to ensure that he was in fact keeping true to his word. You didn’t let him know that you had finished, choosing instead to simply watch him. Soon the silence was filled with the crackling of a fire. He sighed in relief when he stood up and realized that you had done as he asked.

He pulled off some of the pillows from his bed, the duvet, and grabbed some fluffy blankets from his wardrobe. The soft materials were placed down on the floorboards in front of the flames, arranged into a plush little area that looked insanely comfortable. 

“ Here, sit down. I’ll bring you some tea,” Samuel said as he placed his hands on your shoulders and gently pushed you down. 

“ Hey,” you spoke. He stopped in his tracks. You gestured for him to come back to your side, patting the ground next to you. He looked reluctant, fingers twitching and ready to head back to the kitchen. “ You don’t seem okay. Talk to me,” you said as earnestly as you could. You wanted to help him. There was a sort of pain on his face that you couldn’t stand. His fragility was even more pronounced than your own sorry state.

“ Nonsense, you’ll become ill. Some tea will properly warm you up,” he refuted, averting his gaze.

“ You’ve already set up the fire. Plus I promise if I start feeling bad, I’ll let you know. Okay? Just relax with me, please?” You could see the way he bit his lip, the way he still reached from the doorknob. You continued to look at him, pleading silently. You wanted to make him feel better. You didn’t know how since he was being rather mysterious in why he seemed so upset, but you could try. He huffed loudly, the sound escaping through his nose, and it was then you knew you had won.

So the two of you sat in front of the fire, watching the silver inferno dance, spreading light through over the expanse of your form. Samuel had wrapped a blanket over your shoulders, his way of feeling better about the whole situation. He was rigid as a board, stiff and posture straight. You, on the other hand, settled down to lay on your side, tired of sitting criss crossed. When your face pressed against the plush duvet he had put down, you could feel the tips of his fingers lightly trailing on the nape of your neck. You shuddered slightly, for his touch was cold.

“ What’s got you so freaked out?” you mumbled sleepily. He hummed in response.

“ Nothing really. I’m just concerned for your well-being.”

“ Well, I’ll be fine. You’ve done plenty for me already,” you said lazily, blinking slowly. You wanted to say more, you really did, but you were so tired. The fire was so warm, the pile of pillows so comforting that you could barely fight against the lull of sleep. You found yourself falling asleep quickly.

“ I know… It’s just, you’re so fragile,” he sighed, resting his hand on the crown of your head, cradling it even. Still, you could only laugh in drowsy amusement. He looked at you as if you were crazy, but you couldn’t help the smile playing on your lips.

“ If anything, you’re much more fragile than me, old man,” you said with a yawn before slipping away into complete slumber.

Samuel was much calmer the next few days when he realized that you weren’t on death’s door, but he had been pretty insistent that you stay in his room and not go wandering around the complex as you usually would. You were rightfully annoyed by this, but he was, to no surprise, incredibly stubborn when it came to such matters. The two of you had your first dispute since you had been there over it even, and you had eventually given in once the look of hurt on his face grew too great to ignore. 

He brought you books from the library and meals fresh from the kitchen. You had suggested that you eat in the courtyard like usual, but he had shot that down quickly. Something about it being too cold out there. Instead, he had dragged another table into his bedroom so that you could spend time in there. He hardly left your side for those three days, and when you asked about going back to your own room, he had refused on the grounds that there was no fireplace there. Deep down, you knew that you were probably indulging him too much, so you said that after today, the third day you had been holed up in there, you would go back to wandering around as you pleased.

“ Fine, as you wish,” he gritted out, obviously not happy about it, before turning heel and stalking out to do who knows what. You were left there alone for the first time in what felt like forever, and you sighed with relief. Sliding off his bed, you ban to wander around his space to kill time. You appreciated what he was trying to do, you really did, but you were getting tired of being cooped up here. Plus the utter boredom you were starting to feel was getting on your nerves. You figured that Samuel would be less paranoid about your health once he saw that you were perfectly fine, uninjured, and unriddled with all kinds of ailments. You had tried to give him a bit of grace, but you were running out of patience to keep relenting. 

You were tidying things up a little, just to keep yourself busy. You folded up blankets, pushed in chairs, stacked up some of the books you had gone through. Part of you hoped that it would serve as a peace offering to your friend, making his worries fade if only by a small amount. Eventually you waltzed over to his vanity, arranging the various knickknacks on top of it so they weren’t just strewn about. There were bottles of perfume and powders, some not too unsimilar to the ones you found in the dark, dusty building. You did so mindlessly, until you really focused on the object you had touched. The smooth texture was familiar to you almost immediately, and your eyes widened as you looked down at the music box, the one you had found by the pond. 

You blinked at its appearance, once pastel and gold, colored into a silver, platinum and shimmering version of itself. You dropped it in surprise, the notes within it making a loud clang. Your hands which had held it were in the same color scheme as the entire room.

You gasped nervously as you turned them over, your vibrant skin fading into a much duller color. 

“What?” you whispered shakily. Your mind instantly went to the room full of garbage, the ones from your own world. They were gray, just like the music box, just like the world, just like Samuel, and now just like your fingers. You thought of the trash and why he had chosen to keep it. It would be so easy to chuck them out the moon gate, but instead they were collected there in that building. You swallowed thickly, remembering something that he first said to you.

“ I’m not even sure I can tell you what I was doing before I became part of this place.” 

Samuel said it himself, he used to be like you. Now, though, he couldn’t leave, and everything that ended up in the same coloring got trapped here as well. Were you… were you becoming a part of this world too? 

That night you had returned to your room, and Samuel had reluctantly kept to his word. You were itching to ask him about what was happening to you, but you wanted to keep silent for now and see if anything was off about his demeanor. Yes, he had explained that eventually things lost their color to the gray, but he hadn’t elaborated on how long it took. But it had been around twelve days now, and the music box you had entered with had already turned completely.

When you had gotten dressed this morning, slipping on your socks and shoes, you noticed that your feet had lost their original shade. You were extremely unnerved by this, and when you looked in your vanity mirror, it appeared that your cheeks had been dusted with a silver flush. 

It occurred to you that the fire that he had constantly going while you were in his room had likely masked the fact that you had suddenly started to change in shade, you chalking it up to the lighting. Maybe that was why he hadn’t said anything. 

Regardless, you went to check on the moon gate. You were starting to become anxious to go home. It had been over a week since you had initially wandered out, and you couldn’t help but think of the panic your disappearance must’ve made with not only your family but your friends. How would they feel knowing that you went missing on the way to hang out with them? You sighed, melancholy and longing filling your lungs as you looked out at the only thing that could grant you your exit. 

The gate itself had faded from a half full moon to a waxing crescent. The sliver of light shining upon its surface would likely disappear into complete darkness in a matter of a few days. You were nervous, to say the least. If whatever was happening to you completed before the gate fully opened again, you were never going to go home again. 

“ Samuel, how long did it take for you to, you know, lose all your color?” You hated how blunt you sounded, but you had to know. You were sitting in the library today, cozied up in two plush chairs across from each other. You had been trying to focus on a book you had picked up, but your grayed out hands made it hard to concentrate. He was humming, a small smile on his face, while writing his poetry. 

Your question broke him out of his happy state, him quickly snapping into a worried expression. When he didn’t say anything, you rolled up your sleeve to reveal your problem, fading up your forearm. Over the past three days, you had tried to act as normal as you could, shoving down your concerns in favor of returning to the casual atmosphere you had built before you had wandered into the building with all the trash, but it was harder than you thought it would be. 

“ I’ve been, uh, experiencing this for the past few days, and well, I’m nervous that it’ll spread more before it's my time to leave,” you said awkwardly. Samuel stood up from his chair wordlessly and grabbed onto your wrist, his fingers rubbing over your skin in a soothing and curious manner. 

“ You’re becoming like me,” he said plainly. 

“ Yeah, uh I guess I am. I’ve been meaning to ask you about it, but yeah. Is, uh, is there anything I can do to slow it down? Or make sure that it won’t take over completely before the full moon?”  He winced at your mention of leaving, sadness pooling in his eyes.

“ There’s nothing that can prevent this place from claiming you. You must leave before then, but you should be fine by the time the gate reopens,” he explained dully. “ Would it, would it really be so terrible if you were to stay here with me, though?” You looked up at him, your face completely splattered with shock. You choked out a surprised laugh, like he was making a cruel joke.

“ What? You know I can’t do that Samuel. I have a life that I have to get back to,” You rejected the idea immediately, gently trying to tug your arms out of his grasp. He bit his lip as his chest began to rise and fall more rapidly.

“ I understand. However, you, I believe that if you would just stay,  we could have a life here. One that is just as wonderful as your life on Earth. I know that I’m asking you to give a lot here, but I just, [Name] I don’t know what I’ll do if I’m alone again,” he gasped out his words, squeezing down on your limbs without realizing. A few tears, bright like dying stars, began to slip down his cheeks, falling down and splashing your own frantic hands. Your own heart felt as if it were being slammed against your ribcage, guilt and sorrow bubbling up. 

In the brief period that you had come to know him, you had started to become fond of Samuel. It was a fast forming bond, driven by both of your respective degrees of isolation, and you couldn’t deny the attraction that you felt every time he shyly smiled your way. But this wasn’t some fast forming crush. This was a man asking you to throw your everything away for him, for eternal youth, for eternal nothingness. This wasn’t him asking you to become a trusted friend or even a lover, he was asking you to be his whole world. You wondered if he was only offering to become yours because that was the only thing he had to give. 

“ I’m really sorry, but I have to go home,” you said as resolutely as you could, but you couldn’t help the small cracks in your voice creeping in. Your refusal devastated the man, and he let out a few sobs and sank to his knees, placed his head in your lap, and softly cried into you for what felt like hours. All the while he quietly mumbled his pleas for you to reconsider, for you to stay, to witness all he could promise you.

When you didn’t do anything other than caress his head in an effort to calm him, he shambled up to his feet, wiped off his tears with his sleeves, weakly said goodbye, and turned to leave the room. You sat there for a while, staring at the emptiness that flowed in after him, and you thought of how everyday must’ve been like this for him. There was nothing but regret and anxiety of whether or not the right decision had been made everyday for decades upon decades. You felt bad, you truly did, because it was a miserable existence frankly, and part of you worried that if you did stay, you would eventually succumb to that crippling loneliness even with Samuel with you. That you would lose your color, and you would become like the garbage holed up in that room.

The next day, when you cautiously ambled out of your bedroom, you were immediately hit with the scent of flowers. The entire hall was filled with vases and pots containing all kinds of floral arrangements and species. All shimmering and gray, but beautiful nonetheless. 

“ You could have this everyday if you wanted,” his voice startled you, and you jumped when you realized that he was practically leaning over you. You had been too distracted by the plants to notice him emerging from his room, and you assumed that he had been listening for when you would emerge from your own. 

“ Samuel… Please,” you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. “ I understand your feelings, but you gotta also get that I need to go home. I made that clear yesterday,” you pleaded with him as you brushed by his figure, stalking off to make a meal for yourself. He followed suit, hardly a step behind you.

You went through the curtain and began to pull out various pans and utensils, trying to figure out exactly what it was you wanted to make in the first place when he came in and took a spatula that was in your hand. You protested weakly, trying to grab it back, but he pushed you to sit at the table as you normally would. You crossed your arms, quirking a brow at him in clear annoyance.

“ Uh, what do you think you’re doing?”

“ I’m making you breakfast. I know you wanted to split the meal making duties, but I can take over from now on,” he explained, moving to pull out ingredients from the fridge. “ You won’t ever have to lift a finger again. If you stay, that is.”

You ate breakfast with him, because what else was there to do, with a very strange atmosphere. The man kept asking if the food was good, if you were comfortable, asking if you wanted to go to his room where he knows you would be comfortable if you would just let him take you there. His confession, as vague as it was, and your rejection had dialed up his clinginess to the max.

“ I’m going to the drawing room,” you said after dumping a clean plate on a drying rack. Samuel was hovering over you, leaving you slightly pinned to the counter you were working on. You slid past him as best you could, but an arm shot out to prevent you from going any further.

“ I think you should stay here, in the courtyard with me.”

“ I’ll be fine by myself. I need a bit of space right now,” you shrugged him off, trying to ignore the way his face lit up in momentary anger, something that you hadn’t really seen before on his sweet appearance. He ignored your request to be left alone, by the way. He followed you to the drawing room, remarking about how lovely the complex was, how it could be more beautiful if the two of you just cleaned all of the empty rooms. How if you stayed that would be a real possibility. 

You sat there silently, trying to ignore him as best as you could. You were doodling again, and this time instead of sitting himself opposite of you, Samuel decided to cozy up beside you, resting his chin on your shoulder and watching with mild interest as you sketched. His breath was warm on your skin, but you stayed quiet. You hated how flustered he made you feel even now when you were clearly frustrated by his clinginess. Part of it was because you truly couldn’t be fully mad at him. He was lonely, desperate for the first bit of human contact in who knows how long to stay with him, and you couldn’t really fault him for being so devastated by your exit from his life. 

If there was a way where he could come back with you, you were sure that you would have thrown caution to the wind and explored your growing crush on the handsome man. You wished things had been different; that he was just a boy you had known and quickly grown close to on campus or somewhere around your town. 

“ You’re quite good at that,” he said. You called bullshit; Your art was a mess of ink splotches and squiggly lines that you cobbled together to resemble the flowers and the hallways that surrounded you. You hardly put any effort into it, and anyone would be a fool to say it was anything more than a way to pass the time.

“ I can do portraits, you know. If you would sit down, I could draw up the two of us. There are some oil paints around here somewhere, so I could paint it as well,” he offered, his arms slowly moving to wrap you in an embrace. You shrugged him off with a bit of reluctance.  His touch was comforting, but you had to create a fine line between the two of you. Leaving would be harder otherwise. 

“ I’m alright,” you responded curtly. You could feel his lips against your skin form into a frown, and he brought up a hand to turn you head. You startled a bit, but his eyes bore into yours with a frightening amount of intensity. A cold fear settled into your stomach.

“ Please,” was all he said, and all you could do was meekly nod.

Samuel had you sit down in a room with a large amount of windows to paint your portrait. He had given you an outfit that was far more ornate than anything you had worn in the previous week and a half and sat you down on a plush, comfortable chair. He had surrounded you with flowers, petals sitting at your feet and scattered across your lap. Satin, ribbons hung from your wrists, neck, and ankles. He had tied them after you had been dressed, a small, fond smile settling on the lines of his face as he held onto your limbs gently. 

“ You look absolutely lovely,” he said, content as he moved in front of the canvas. 

“ Uh thanks I guess.”

“ Have you ever had your portrait taken?” he asked, holding up a brush between poised fingers. 

“ Not really. I mean I’ve had my picture taken at school,” you shrugged. You wished he would stop staring at you, dissecting you with his fluttering eyelashes. Your skin had continued to gray at an alarming rate, and you could not ignore the panic that had gripped you. You were trying to trust what he had said about you not turning completely before the full moon came, but it was hard to just brush off the sudden way your appearance was changing. 

You had checked the moon gate the night before, passing by it under the pretense of going to the library. You weren’t sure why, but you no longer felt comfortable simply telling Samuel about your true intentions anymore. Before he had asked you to stay the first time, you would simply inform him of where you would be. Sure, he would likely show up to stick by your side before long, but he hadn’t actively stopped you from going anywhere until then. But yesterday with his insistence that you stay with him in the courtyard and his tailing you all through the complex was the beginning of a new pattern that you were certain that you didn’t like.

When you had first woken up this morning, he was sitting outside of your door in the hall. It wasn’t unusual before, but now it felt like a calculated step he took to make sure that every second of your day was spent with him. It was then that he had given you a silken shirt and pair of pants and pulled you into a room with windows that went all the way to the ceiling.

But the moon gate, it had passed from the new moon into the sliver of a crescent. It wouldn’t be long before you could go home. You had to keep reassuring yourself of that. Maybe twelve days or so more? Six until the half moon appeared again for sure. You sighed, trying to focus on anything other than his gaze.

“ Picture? Ah, I recall that being a new thing before I came here. Is it more common in your time?” he asked. 

“ Yeah, uh I’d say they are. Like super common actually. I wish I had brought my phone with me. I think you would have, uh, I think you would’ve enjoyed seeing all the stuff on there,” you laughed weakly. He hummed in response. The room was filled with the sound of paint being rubbed onto canvas. His eyes flitted between the you he was creating and your own fidgeting figure. You wondered if he was having trouble with you not being completely still. After a few moments of him being focused on his task, you let your mind wander. It must’ve gone a bit too far, though, because soon you found yourself voicing a question that you had been holding since a few days in.

“ Hey, if we hadn’t met here, like if we met back on Earth and all, would you have liked me?” Samuel froze, his small smile halting into one of shock. He tore away from his art and fully faced you, truly taking in your petulant expression and pinched brows.

“ Of course,” he said without hesitation, and you sighed.

“ But like, why? I mean, can you really say that if you had met me without being here by yourself for so long, you would be like this with me?” you asked. He stared blankly. He hadn’t tried to think about it. It was plain to see from his silent floundering. Part of you knew that he didn’t really want to answer your question, for anything he said would probably be untrue to some extent. Deep down he knew the way he clung to you wasn’t natural. Deep down he knew that if you hadn’t met under such circumstances, he probably wouldn’t feel as desperate or deeply about you. If he thought otherwise, he would be lying. He had to because to some extent you felt the same way. 

“ Does it matter?”

“ What do you mean?”

“ I don’t think it really matters. We didn’t meet on Earth because we weren’t supposed to. You came to me now, here. There’s a reason for that, you know. I haven’t felt much of anything lately, yet you, you came here. You’re with me now. I know you don’t wish to stay, but you have to agree that this is fate. That’s all I need to be certain of my affections for you,” Samuel looked at you with such fondness, and you couldn’t help but ache. You wanted to believe him so badly that it hurt, that this was meant to be, that you were meant to stay. He walked over to you, his hands reaching up to cradle your face like you were made out of porcelain, his finger pushing down on your lower lip. 

He leaned in for a kiss no doubt, but you turned quickly, your figure curling up on itself in discomfort. He kissed your jaw gently, trying to make his way towards your mouth, but you pushed gently on his chest while quietly saying “no”.  He reared back before homing in close once again, chasing after your affection. Still, you screwed your eyes shut and stood from your seat, breaking away from his touch.

“ [Name] please-”

“ Samuel, You have to stop. This is going nowhere. I care about you, really, and I, I also like you in that way, but it’s just not going to happen. I have to go home, and that’s it,” it hurt to say those words. You wanted fate, you wanted a person that you were destined to be with, but it couldn’t be like this. You had tried so hard to leave your shell, to go out and enjoy life while making friends and experiencing everything to falling in love to the joyful chaos of university. You needed that too, and you couldn’t get it if you stayed here. 

“ No, no, you’re not understanding me. I need you here, please. I can’t be alone again!” He cried, chasing after you as you began to exit the room. As you stalked off, fighting tears along the way, you began to undo the ribbons that he had tied to your wrists, discarding them in the ground in your wake. He scrambled to pick them up, calling your name.

“ [Name] [Name] [Name] “

You shoved your hands over your ears in a desperate attempt to drown out his increasingly panicked voice. You were practically running down the hallways, racing to reach your room. Your feet thudded against the creaking floorboards, his even louder ones following suit.

“ I’m sorry!” You shouted, your throat hoarse with fear and sadness. You slid in front of your doorway, quickly heading inside before shutting and locking it behind you. You could hear Samuel’s body slam into it, his fists pounding against it.

“ [Name]! Please let me in! I didn’t wish to frighten you! Just let me make it up to you! Please I swear I wasn’t attempting to force you. I just, I simply wanted you to understand my feelings,” he begged, his breathing rapid. 

“ Go away,” you said loudly, backing away slightly. He kept on hitting the door, the handle jiggling with his attempts to get in. 

“ [Name] open the door please. Please, I can make you understand.”

“ Go away!” you repeated, a bit more loudly this time. Your heart was pounding in your chest. He didn’t stop though. In fact his actions only became more frantic, and you could see the way the door began to shake with every slam he made against it, the wood shaking against his hinges.

You had begun crying, tears streaming down your cheeks as you sank to the floor, curling into yourself as you sobbed out. He must’ve heard you crying because he was practically trying to break his way into your room.

“ [Name]! Let me in! Please! Just give me a chance! I love you! PLEASE!,” he frantically called as the banging continued. 

SLAM

“ Let me in!”

SLAM

“[NAME]! PLEASE!” He was sobbing too.

SLAM

“ I LOVE YOU! LET ME IN!”

“ GO AWAY!” you screamed, louder than you think you had ever screamed in your entire life. Your body shook as you cried into your knees, and you felt like you were going to throw up, but the terror outside your room had stopped suddenly. 

The quiet was unnerving, and it lasted for a while. You sniffled as the minutes ticked by, trembling as you looked at his shadow coming in from under your door. He was just sitting there, waiting for you to say something, to come out, to fall into his arms and allow yourself to be swept up by the dream-like romance that you knew we wanted to sweep you up in. But you stayed still out of pure fear of what he would do to you once you left the room. You could hear his slightly ragged breaths, waiting to have you in his hold once more.

“ If you wish to stay in there,” he said after a long period of no words passing between you,” It’s okay. I’ll be here for you, and you’ll understand how I feel then.” His words were ominous, and they sent shivers down your spine. 

You couldn’t really believe that this was the sweet and gentle man you had come to know over the past couple two weeks, but then again that was hardly enough time to truly know someone. You felt stupid, being swept up in the way he treated you, in how beautiful this place was and how sweetly he spoke your name. You wanted to make it work. You wanted to believe that this was just a weird dream that was going on for too long. Oddly, part of you still felt guilty over not being able to give yourself to someone who was so lonely, someone who yearned that deeply for connection. You could be that missing piece to make his life whole, but you’d be sacrificing yours in the process. You couldn’t, it was as plain as that, and yet you still wanted to make him happy.

The Samuel that you had started to like, the one who looked at you like you were everything, was not truly real though. The real him was partly that, but he was also desperate and wild to a degree that frightened you greatly. You couldn’t live like that, not after how he reacted. So even if there were still some feelings for him there, there was no way you could let them get in the way of you going home.

He had sat right up against your door for the entire night, and you had fearfully allowed yourself to slip into a fitful sleep pressed up against the wall in your bed. In the morning, you awoke to him knocking.

“ I told you, you would never have to lift a finger again. I made you breakfast. If you open the door it’s here for you,” he chuckled slightly. You didn’t fail to notice the unstableness in his voice as you clutched your blanket closer to yourself. 

“I’ll, I’ll go to my room, just make sure that you eat something. I don’t want you to starve,” he sighed after you didn’t answer. You could hear the clanging of silverware and plates being set down before the tell tale creaks of the floor board gave way to his location. Indeed, he had stepped away, but that didn’t mean you could afford to be flippant about the matter. You approached the exit to your room slowly, unlocking it with a soft click before you opened it in a hurry and snatched up the meal. You locked it back in place almost immediately after, staying alert in case Samuel decided to come running for you. To your relief, he stayed put.

You swallowed down the food as best as you could, but you couldn’t finish most of it. You decided that you would leave the plate on your vanity for later as the more you could avoid having to leave your room, the better. You caught a glance at your appearance in the mirror, and you were alarmed to see that the silver had spread up pretty much all the way to your biceps. It was taking over you quickly. You shakily sighed as you tried to stave off the rest of the time by reading some books that you had left in there from the previous few days. 

Samuel tried to coax you out with lunch a couple hours later, but since you had your plate, you stayed inside and ignored it.

“[Name], please… You’re not taking care of yourself. If you would let me in, I could help you,” he said, but again you stayed quiet. He was a bit more stable than the night prior, though, so instead of screaming at you to come out, he began to read off some poetry that he had been writing. You assumed that it was all from the period after your arrival, recalling how he would be jotting down imagery with a serene expression while you lazed about. You missed how it had been, even if it hadn’t been all too long ago. 

Eventually, his voice grew hoarse from speaking to no one for hours, and you heard him dejectedly bidding you goodnight, once again leaving you with silence.

The next day carried out much the same, and you found yourself growing increasingly paranoid. You didn’t want to stay in your room the entire time. Your books had been read and the gate needed to be checked on, but you were certain that if you stepped out of your safe haven, Samuel would be there ready to do who knows what.

That day, he had spent many hours telling you of how he envisioned a life with you to be, and you became increasingly aware of the notion that he might be planning to prevent you from leaving the realm all together. 

“ We shall sit here and discuss everything and nothing,” he laughed to himself.” Why, we’d be like those scholars in the library! Perhaps you and I could write books together. Wouldn’t that be lovely?” 

As much as his words disturbed you, it did give you an idea. After he retired to bed, you devised a slight plan to visit the library once more. Perhaps there was something there that could offer you an answer about what this place was and maybe even how to slow down its claim over you. So that night, you opened your window carefully and climbed out to land on the barren expanse of silver ground that surrounded the complex. 

The floorboards in the hall would give away your activity in no time, but if you sneaked in through the outside ground, then you could slip into the library undetected. There hadn’t really been any reason to leave the carefully maintained halls until now, but now you were offered a more covert way to traverse through the buildings. 

You quietly skirted on the edges of the property until you gently climbed up onto the wooden pathway. Hopefully you were far enough away from the bedrooms that the slight creaking wouldn’t be too much of a give away. It seemed that you were correct in this assessment, for you were able to rifle through books in the library undisturbed for the first time in what felt like a long while. You were a bit desperate in combing through the knowledge available, though you were careful to put everything back in its place lest Samuel figure out that you had managed to sneak in without him seeing. 

You pulled out journals about the phases of the moon, star maps, novels that looked as if they had been read by him on multiple occasions. You found nothing of use. Frustrated, tired, and scared beyond imagination, you gripped your head in your hands. You surveyed the place, eyes roaming over the shelves upon shelves of information until a slight glint caught your eye. It was something shining between two heavy books, the light from outside hitting it perfectly. You would’ve never really seen it if you hadn’t been scrutinizing the room so intensely, and you quickly made your way over to whatever was shimmering so brightly. It was really just a sliver of reflection, hardly noticeable, but when you inspected it further you found a key, metal and shiny despite a small amount of grime covering it. 

 You turned the object over in your palm curiously and quickly placed it within your pocket. Something told you that whatever answers you sought were somehow connected to this simple piece of metal.

With that you quickly scurried off to your room once more.

“ I know you’d be sacrificing a lot,” Samuel said to you on the third day of locking yourself in your room. The gate had opened up a considerable amount since he had exploded in anguish, and you could tell that he was trying even more desperately to get you to stay of your own volition.

“ You have friends and a family…But I could be both of those for you. You would be the same for me. We could be each other's everything, you know. If you would just give me a chance to prove how wonderful we’d be, I’d make it worth your time.” You could hear the gentle movement of pen over paper, of a broom sweeping down the hall, of his breaths. He would spend his whole time there, luring you with honeyed promises of a romantic and satisfied life, but his frightening behavior made you sure that your days here would be anything but that. If he had you, he would never let you go. This realm was much the same. 

With that terrifying fact in mind, you knew that you had to figure out where the key led into. Its neglected state told you it had to be a place that Samuel hadn’t bothered with for a long time, and there was really only one place that fit that desolate description. While he waxed on about how good he would be to you, how he would worship you if you truly wished, you  thought of that hallway filled with locked doors. Considering how long he had been here, there might be some things of some long gone era including the remnants of a stable Samuel.

Later that night, when you snuck out again, you stared out over the vast silver nothingness. If you weren’t so terrified that there wasn’t anything but the complex, you would have taken off running into it. Your window, which was very high up by the way, looked down on your shifty form.  

The old building loomed in all its dim glory like a beacon in a sea of darkness, and you approached with much caution. The key in your silver palm sat heavy with years of unknown history. The stars watched from above as you gripped onto the wooden railing that decorated the edges of the halls. The carved wooden leaves and flora pressed into your skin, leaving indents in their image. Like many times before, the floor creaked with each step you took. Here, you were less worried about Samuel hearing you as it was so removed from everything else. Here, you could breathe a little more. Your silk shirt didn’t feel as stifling, and you shook a little less. 

You yanked on the handles of the doors, shocked to find that they didn’t budge. Shit, he must’ve locked it at some point. You sighed, part out of anger and part out of fear, and stepped back. If you couldn’t get in the normal way, then some alternative methods were needed. 

So, that’s how you ended up crawling through the window at the back of the building. It was an awkward action, your stomach pressing uncomfortably onto the ledge. You hung there for a moment, trying to shimmy inside before you fell ungracefully onto the floor with a large thud. You froze there as a few moments passed by. Part of you was waiting for Samuel to come storming into the building, for him to unleash a torrent of tears and desperation upon you. Silence passed. There was no thundering pace, and no calling of your name from a man starved of stability. You placed a hand to your chest, gasping in relief and at your aching muscles. 

There wasn’t much time, not much that you were comfortable spending out here from the safety of your room, that is, to properly look through every room in here for a clue on your condition and how to leave. You glanced at the door not too far from you, slightly ajar from your last visit to this place. If that one held things that were more contemporary, then wouldn't it be safe to assume that the ones closest to the main entrance were the oldest?

You shakily stood on your feet while using the wall as your guide. You pulled out the key as you picked the nearest one to the front of the building You slotted in the key, and much to your relief, the door swung open with an ancient sounding creak. The smell of age immediately hit your nose, and your face wrinkled in disgust. This place had not been touched in a while. Unlike the one you had seen a week ago, the room looked as if it had been left as was. The furniture seemed to be in their proper places, and there weren’t random objects strewn about. The only things that could make it messy was the amount of dust coating over every surface and the odd few stacks of books on the floor.  

You quickly walked over to the vanity, rifling through the drawers. There was makeup. Hairpins, brushes, some old pots of congealed ink, but nothing of much note. You threw open the wardrobe to find some fraying clothes that looked nothing like the ones either you or Samuel wore. You gently pinched the sleeve of the faded shirt, the old cotton rolling limply between your fingers. How long ago had he slipped these on? Since he had gone around wandering the world as he wished? You couldn’t imagine the outfit you wore when you came here being sealed away like this.

You frowned deeply. The memories these pieces of old cloth must’ve held…It made you truly wonder what he had given up to be a part of this place. You dropped it and continued to look on for what else was in the wardrobe. There was a box holding a well worn pair of leather shoes, some gloves, and a crumpled up jacket that sat dejectedly in a pile. You rifled through them with haste, frantically looking through them. Within the pocket of the jacket, you felt the fragile texture of aged paper, and you quickly pulled it out.

Underneath the silver moonlight, you could see faded ink looping in their delicate chain, spelling out a sweet Dear Samuel.

I hope this finds you well…

It was hard to make out any of the words on the rest of the page. You furrowed your brows as you tried to piece together prose that had long since lost meaning. There were parts where the parchment had wavered under what you had assumed to be tears, places where it had been crumpled by how tightly it had been gripped, soft and limp from how many times it had been folded. It was well loved, and now, judging by its resting place, it had been forgotten. 

There was nothing to learn from it, much to your frustration. You sighed shakily as you carefully folded up the old letter and tucked it away again. You pressed your face to your palms and let out a low groan. There had to be something that could help you, you were sure of that, but whatever it was had been hidden away. Either that or it was just in a different room. 

So you went to the second door by the entrance. It was much like the one you had just been in before, except this one had a more noticeable air of clutter. There were books everywhere, strewn about in haphazard manner with pages falling out of bindings and ink splashed out across the floorboards. On the desk pressed against the wall was a worn journal, the paper in it bulging out from use.

It was by itself, illuminated by the light from the window, with little else sharing its space. You rushed over to it, before flipping over to a random page.

Today has been an eventful day. Father says that soon Mother, Charlotte, and I shall depart for the city soon. He says that there is work to be found there, and that my brother has found us occupation and housing. It must be quite nice to be familiar with the lively atmosphere. I hold little doubt that such a large number of individuals will suit my character in an unfavorable manner, yet I find that there is little I can do to protest such a sudden decision. Mother is elated for me to finally join brother and father, sister is excited to go to school in a more fashionable location, and my father is simply content to provide. By all means this is an opportunity that I am certain some would be green for, and yet I feel a sense of unease.

For if I leave this town, what will become of this place?

You visibly recoiled from the information. You knew that he had a life before this. It had been mentioned and hinted at many times before this moment, but to actually have it confirmed? It was unsettling. You nervously shut the journal, the leather and paper making a soft thud, and quickly left the room. From there you left the same way you came in, the rusty key and book tucked safely in your arms.

The next day , you sat on the floor of your room hunched over the little book. Samuel scratched at the door now; his fingernails swooping as he spoke weakly.

“ I understand, you know. I do, I really do, but I simply think you’re being unreasonable now. It’s been days since you’ve come out. I miss you [Name], and I know you miss me too,” he drawled. You could hear the exhaustion in his voice, and you could practically picture the way dark lines would hang heavily in his otherwise perfect visage. You hoped that his appearance had become akin to that of his words: sick and uncanny.

You pressed your fingers into your temple in an attempt to drown him out. Your brows were furrowed in concentration, trying desperately to focus and make out the looping cursive on the page. You sighed in frustration. You really should’ve paid more attention in classes.

As the move to the city approaches, I find myself increasingly conflicted. There is little reason as to why I should be so opposed, yet I am inextricably reluctant to go. I sit in this pavilion unknown to my family in contemplation, for I have become convinced that this solitude is more befitting of my character. I would have accommodation, food, entertainment, everything an individual would need to live a life of fulfillment and esteem. Additionally, I would achieve every son’s greatest dream: removing the burden of oneself from their parents.

I should consider taking this place as my permanent residence.

It felt wrong reading this. The only thing you could compare it to was watching back footage of a car crash before the collision actually happened. Your silence was a palpable response, and you could feel his unease oozing from into the small gap under your door. 

“ [Name], I hope you know that you still have a few days to change your mind. I’ll be here for you, throughout the whole process and everything. I know it can be frightening, but when you become like me, I’ll treat you so well that you won’t even know why you resisted me,” he laughed lowly, and you seized with fear. Your chest heaved slowly as you hung on the action of flipping a page. 

“ Please just… please just leave me alone,” you said tiredly. His weight shifted under the floorboards, the wood creaking, and he pressed his palms up against the wall outside. You could hear it, no, you could practically feel his eyes wildly searching for signs of you. His breathing was heavy, unhinged, and absolutely terrifying. You winced back from the entrance to your room. There was no telling what he would do to get in, and you had a sneaking suspicion that the door was only a decorative obstacle for him. There was no way he wasn’t desperate enough to not have tried breaking in, and that scared you so much. 

He was so sure of himself, and you did not miss the certainty in his words. When you become like him. When he would comfort you. There was no ‘If’ anymore, no attempt to conceal his certainty. Did he think that he could physically stop you from leaving? When the gate opened, he would probably do everything in his power to stop you from going. 

“ [Name]”

You ignored him in favor of digging further into his past life. He wasn’t satisfied, though. You could feel the way his shoulders heaved in your bones, how he bored his gaze onto silver wood, the way his tongue rolled with your name like a curse. 

He was quiet after that, and you watched as the shadows underneath your door shifted back. Your stomach churned in discomfort, the acid burning and warm as it crawled up your throat ever so slightly. There was no way that you could do this everyday; no way that you could sit there as he hovered around desperately for the rest of your life, or the rest of whatever it was you’d be leading if you did stay.

I have never been humiliated in such a manner as I have in this moment. I confessed my feelings of our departure to the city, how little it appealed to me and all, to my father. I’ve never seen him so cross, so cold towards me. I have always held suspicion that my family did not hold a level of affection towards me as they did to each other, but it seems that I have had to reach this unfortunate conclusion. 

He called me a drain on the fortune he had worked so hard to come across. I know that I write this in a calmer state of mind, but it took everything within me to not burst into tears right then and there. I’m in the pavilion again, and I believe that I should spend the night here. I’ve never done so before, despite all the time I do lay around in these halls. 

He’d never spent the night before? Your face twisted into confusion. That can’t… That didn’t make any sense. Did the gate function differently when he first arrived?

“[Name]...You can’t stay in there forever. If you would just speak to me, I could make this right. I promise,” Samuel mumbled out. You flipped to another page. Another day. Another tainted memory of his.

It’s been a week. I haven’t the heart to return. I suppose that my family has likely departed to the city without me being there. I wish them well, truly, and I hope they feel my support from this place. 

Perhaps I am a coward, for I cannot find the courage to go beyond here and truly apologize nor tell them that my well being is secure. I instead choose to sit around and lament. Truly my self hatred knows no bounds. Part of me imagines that my family shall scorn me for my behavior, the other thinks that they would be indifferent. They’ve never cared to know where I have gone off and disappeared before now, and I don’t believe that they’ll suddenly give a damn. 

The bitterness was palpable, and you winced as you read. The Samuel in the ink was far more antisocial than you would have ever assumed him to be; It was jarring with the way his honey dipped words tried to sway you from outside your safe spot. You swallowed thickly as you tried to imagine him with a cold and disdainful look when you came here. Had he wallowed in this awful self hatred for all this time? There was another series of soft taps on the door, ones that you vaguely recognized being that of the music box on your vanity. 

“ I promise that everyday will always be interesting. That you’ll never be bored, or suffer from loneliness. It’ll be the two of us, and I swear that I’ll make you happy. Please, won’t you please just let me see your face,” he paused, waiting for you to say something (as if there was any chance in hell that you would do that again). “ I just want to see you, see if you’ve become even more like this place and me. You can confide in me, you know.”

Had you grown more silver? The panic of the past few days had deterred you from really caring about your appearance, so the mirror in your room didn’t seem to hold much purpose. Not to mention, you were so fucking scared of what was happening to you. You could already see that the shimmering greyscale had already coated your calves and your fingers entirely, but there were large expanses of your skin that had been covered by clothing.

You slowly stood so as to not make too much noise, and carefully peered into the reflective surface that sat pressed up against the wall. You gingerly brought your hands up to your face as you stared with a mix of dismay and awe. The color had covered half of your features at this point, your eyes maintaining their color. In the meantime your hair had turned a mix of gray and silver from the ends up until just before your roots like a dye job that looked a few months overdue for a retouch. Your breath caught in your throat as you inhaled sharply. It had spread so quickly over these past couple of days…Why? Why had it done that? Was it going to completely take over you before the gate opened? No, because otherwise Samuel would’ve said something. He would’ve noted how this place took hold of him before he could go home, because he said he went home in that journal. Right?

You practically threw yourself to the floor, not caring anymore if he heard you. The Journal had to have some answers. You opened it to a random spot, eyes frantically roaming over the dates and times. The one to which you settled on seemed to be two weeks away from the last one you read. 

My clothes that I wore when I came here have faded completely into this wonderful silver color, and my skin seems to have begun doing the same. I am intrigued by this greatly, and I am interested in how it should progress. I suppose that it would be an interesting endeavor to see how it spans out fully, for I have not seen any deterioration within the objects that I have brought with me. I can only assume that I shall not be harmed by this process. 

I have been missing the company of Mother and Charlotte, and I have been reminiscing on the argument with father as well. I doubt that they stayed within town. The opportunity in the city greatly outweighs any effect my disappearance could have possibly made. I think that after I observe what happens to myself here, I shall leave and go find them. 

Perhaps my findings here could bring me some fortune… In any case, I must sincerely apologize to them. I suppose that this experiment of mine is just delaying the inevitable, but I’ll find them. I’ll make this right, just after this is all. 

I do love them. I hope that I may be forgiven. 

His fate was spelled out for you so plainly, and the irony was so palpable that it could’ve been in a movie. This didn’t feel real, like a story that was unfolding in real time. The shy but remorseful boy painted by words was nothing like the man only a few feet away.

But looking at the dates… This was all in the span of a month. It mirrored your situation very closely, except you were aware of the consequences of what would happen if you actually let the silver coloring consume you entirely. Some sick part of you felt a little guilty. Guilty that you had the chance to get out, guilty that if you did, you would leave him here. It didn’t really make much sense to you, but you thought of how he must’ve been before you came here: lamenting over his family he never had the chance to properly say goodbye to, wishing that he had done something different, wishing that he had someone there to stave off the crushing weight of nothingness that was this place. He had hoped and waited for a chance like you to appear, and this would probably be the last time he would get one. For a long time anyways. When you left, if you left, he’d be destroyed. That fact alone was awful, but it wasn’t your fault and you needed to go home. 

But… the more you read and the more you thought it over, why did it feel like he could’ve left at any time?

You let out a small laugh as it dawned on you. The journal didn’t go back too far, but it made sense, didn’t it? He didn’t spend the night here, he wasn’t forced to stay here until the next full moon. He chose to stay here, and he felt guilty for it too. Then why couldn’t you go?

Another page. Another utterance of your name from beyond the door.

I’ve been monitoring the progress of this process for a week now. It was a slow process in the beginning, yet I found that as the days have gone by, it has spread quite quickly. I find that I can no longer tell the difference from before I’ve gone through this transformation in regards to my surroundings . I believe that it will be a bit jarring to see such vibrancy . The new moon has passed. It won’t be long until I can return. It is my sincerest hope that my family will understand this erratic decision of mine.

You moved on to another day, skipping a few other entries. This one, you noted, was different from the others. The ink was smudged, and there were small indents that had the words run ever so slightly. Tears, if your shaky guess was correct. The loops of cursive was messier than anything that you had seen him write before, not even the hurried poetry he would jot down on the crisp days, sitting in a drawing room while you lazed about. There was a heaviness as you gently rolled the stiff paper between the pads in your fingers. You inhaled deeply through your nose, steadying yourself for something that felt monumental.

I’ve failed.

I can’t go back. The gate was wide enough for me to go through. I should have been able to go through. What have I done? Father and Mother I want to see them. I want to go back.

Is there a way to go back? I’ll have to see. Maybe when the full moon comes I can leave. It’s never done this before. I could always leave as long as the light part of the gate was large enough. I even put my hand through it the other day. Why? Why now? I’ve been trying for hours.

I can go back. I have to go back. I’m so exhausted, and my vision is so blurred I can barely see what I’m writing. 

I should go to sleep. I’ll try again tomorrow when I wake.

You inhaled sharply. He could leave? The entire time?

“ [Name]...You understand right?”

You looked up sharply, your chest rising and falling rapidly. How could you have been so stupid? He lied. It was as plain as day, and you fell for it. 

“ You never planned to let me go, did you?” Samuel didn’t say anything this time. Your voice had wavered slightly, hurt seeping into your question. Though, you weren’t really asking. You gulped slightly, choosing your next words carefully. “ You were just going to lock me here once the full moon came, right? Because after that, I’d have to stay here forever. With you.”

You didn’t dare to reveal that you knew that you’d be fully taken by the silver before then. That you could leave before then. You just wanted to hear him admit it. Admit that this entire time, while you had been struggling with the guilt of leaving him behind, he had never intended to let you go in the first place. From the moment he met you, from the moment he shattered porcelain across his feet, he had decided that you were his. You choked back a small sob, to hold back the tears of anger. 

You were leaving tonight. The gate should be wide enough for you to squeeze through by now, and based on the state of your skin, this would likely be the last chance that you had to escape. You smoothed back your hair from your face, your entire body shaking with nerves.

“ Do you know what it was like?” He asked, steady and emotionless. “ Everyday, with every book in here read? Every thought I had already written down? I lived with 100 years of nothingness. My main joy in life was to find garbage. And everyday, I hoped that I could leave, or that something in this fucking place would just change for once.”

“ And I thought that, eventually, I would die and finally be able to leave this place. But nothing, NOTHING ever happened! And I thought that I had come to peace with that, I truly did. But when you appeared that day, I felt like all this time I’ve wasted, all these thoughts and feelings that I could never do anything with, they weren’t useless. You gave me a reason to start looking forward to waking up, to cooking, to living again. You were the answer to everything [Name]. You are my reward for suffering here by myself for all of this time.”

You sat there, cold sweat clamming up your palms as you scooted back on the floor. Samuel laughed lowly, and this time, you couldn’t picture what he looked like. The sound was so sinister in a way that was so unlike anything before.

“ So no, I’m not letting you leave. I never intended you to,” he said plainly. “ Everything I promised you, it’s still yours. My loyalty, my love, my everything…It belongs to you as yours does to me. Soon, we shall be equal in more ways than one, and you’ll understand. I promise.”

Hours had passed since then, and you sat on the floor of your room with your back pressed against the cold, hard wall. The journal was held tightly to your chest as you kept your eyes trained on the door, blinking ever so slightly from exhaustion and nodding off in fitful bouts of sleep. The sudden movement of your head lolling to the side would jerk you out of “rest” that would find you. Honestly, you didn’t know how you hadn’t broken into hysterics by this point. Same went for throwing up as your stomach felt like a blackhole, collapsing in on itself in a swirl of bile, fear, and the small amount of food that you had reluctantly accepted.

But Samuel hadn’t moved from his spot. After his sudden outburst, you had heard him softly crying against the wood of your door. Whispering your name, saying how happy he was that you were here. Eventually, he slumped down with drowsiness, snoring quietly and mumbling “[Name]”, breathing it like it was air. You waited and waited, hoping that he would fall far enough under slumber that he wouldn’t notice the light creaking of the floorboards as you found your way to your shaky feet and approached the window. 

The cold, dry air dusted over your skin as you gripped the sill, preparing yourself to hoist yourself over for what you prayed would be the last time. You looked back at the small amount of light coming from the small crack under the entrance, and the way his shadow stretched underneath it. Your chest squeezed with empathy despite it all, like you were leaving behind a toy at the store that you decided to not take home after all. But at the end of the day, you had your reasons, and to stay here was sentencing yourself to misery. You turned back to the starry sky and took in a large gasp of air before you pressed up against the floor to finally put this all behind you.

Suddenly, the maws of pain closed in on your ankle as you fell to the ground with a loud thud. The splintering feeling radiating from your foot was accompanied with a loud crack as you realized the floor had broken under you. Horror raced up your spine as the sharp barbs of wood dug into your skin. 

“ Shit, shit shit!” you hissed out as you hurriedly sat up and began to wrench your leg out of the newly formed hole.                   

“[Name]?” Samuel called your name drowsily, concern hiding behind his slurred words. His dark figure cloaked yours in shadow as he shifted. You let out a panicked grunt as you pulled hard on your stuck foot. The splintered wood formed gashes on your silver skin, the blood shining bright red against the greyscale night, ruby and glittering. You stared breathlessly, your vision blurring with awe and illness. How could it be so beautiful? 

There was banging on the door, far louder than any attempts he made in the past. That shook you out of your pain induced stupor in a second, and you began kicking wildly to get out. You had to get out. Out of this hole, out of this room, out of this world and fast.

“[Name]? What happened?” He asked while jiggling the handle violently. “ [Name]!? Answer me!” 

There were thundering footsteps, the drumming of your heartbeat and pulse, and shouts of your name. It was so loud and frantic, and you screamed in agony as you finally ripped your ankle free from the fragmented wood just as the door was thrown open with a large crash. You scrambled up as Samuel stood in the doorway, looking at the crimson splattered across the ground and your hands. 

His front was hidden by the lack of light that graced his shoulders instead, but in that split second you could see how disheveled he had become. His face gaunt with worry and mania, his posture hunched and yearning. This was not the man you had felt the spark of attention for. This was a monster determined to drag you down with him. 

“[Name]!” he cried as you ambled up. The adrenaline coursing through you stamped out the agony that radiated up your form, made you ignore the way you trembled, told you to get the fuck out of there. His arms reached to circle you in a damning embrace, but you slapped him away as best as you could.

“ Don’t Touch me!” you screeched, but he continued to advance. You stumbled up against your vanity, pressed up against hard floral carving as you palmed around behind for anything solid enough that could find your hand. He lurched forward, and you smashed the object against his head with as much force as you could muster up. 

Gears and pieces of porcelain scattered through the air, shooting like comets as silver blood streamed like starlight from his cheek. Samuel cried out in anguish as the music box hit his eyes, ears, and features. He stumbled back in shock, clutching the side of his face as he looked at you with a mix of betrayal and anger. You stood there, eyes locked for a few moments before you dashed out of the room.

“[NAME]!” he screamed as you tore out of the room, scarlet falling behind you in a trail of sinew and desperation. Your feet, dirty and worn thumped against the floor halls of the complex as you ran as quickly as you could. 

Samuel was up after you in a matter of seconds, and you looked over your shoulder to look at him stumbling and crashing into the walls and railings. He groaned loudly, one of his silver eyes screwed shut. You tripped slightly, your limp becoming an increasing hindrance. But you had to get out. You had to go.

You passed by the courtyard, passed the drawing rooms filled with papers and sweet smiles, past the half finished painting of your worried face, past the monumental amount of books, past the softly glowing lanterns that swayed gently despite the chaos until you finally appeared in front of the gate. It sat there in its half moon glory at the end of a lonely path. 

You jumped off the wooden halls and cried out when the pressure couldn’t be held up by your injured foot, causing you to collapse suddenly. Samuel was quick to catch up as you frantically crawled forward. The dirt scraped against the unmarred skin of your forearms while you dragged yourself to freedom. Up ahead laid the few shards of the porcelain cup that he dropped upon the first sight of you, the ones by you leaving small lacerations on your knees and palms as you cursed wildly.

“[NAME]!” He shouted as he stepped down and gripped onto your waist, pulling you back as you clawed at the ground, only finding purchase in one of the pieces of the destroyed cup. He pulled you into his chest, his bruised arms squeezing you tightly. “[Name],” he said, more relieved as he pressed a small kiss at the top of your head. The blood from his lip that had just been busted ghosting on your crown. 

“ It’s alright, I’ve got you now. You’re just frantic right now, hysterical even. It’s fine. I’ll care for you, I swear. So please… Just stop fighting me. I love you [Name], so please just accept it,” he murmured, pain clear as he held you harshly. You cried out slightly, squirming around.

“ I know,” you spat out.

“ What?”

“ I know you lied. I know that I just have to go through that gate and I can leave you for good.”

“ No… No you’re wrong. No you can only leave on the full moon, remember,” he laughed in disbelief as he shook you, his hands gripping your arms as he turned you to face him. He was shaking as a manic smile fell on his lips.

“ I read your journal Samuel. You’re full of shit, and I’m getting the fuck out of here!” You yelled as you began to thrash, kicking and snapping at his arms. His smile dropped instantly as he coldly grabbed your throat. Your breath snared at that moment as he shoved you down onto the ground. The pearlescent brick dug into your back as you gurgled in surprise. He began to squeeze.

“ You don’t know anything.”

“ S-Samuel,” you choked out as you tried to pry his hands off your airway.

“ [Name], I love you. I love you so much, yet you don’t understand. How I’ve yearned for something like this. Just accept it. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure that you won’t be able to leave after this, and then you’ll know,” he gritted as black spots began to cloud your vision. Your nails scratched at his arms wildly, taking chunks of silvers down with them. No, no ,no you had to get out. This was it! This was your only chance!

“ I- I love you too. I- I see now. I’m sorry,” you wheezed as you raised a quivering hand to cup the side of his face. In the same manner that you had wished to only a few days ago, you stroked his cheek and wiped the blood from his eye. He visibly softened, lips parting and gaze shimmering with hope. You smiled through your tears when his hands stopped pressed down on your throat, and Samuel leaned into your touch. He whimpered quietly as he closed his eyes and shed a single tear, relishing in your affection for one moment. One moment where he had everything he had ever dreamed of, content for the first time in centuries. You wished that he would find happiness before, but as the fingers of your other hand gripped onto a shard of porcelain just within reach, you knew that he wouldn’t be able to find it in you.

With one final scream of rage, fear, and sorrow, you slashed him across his face. The beautiful starlit man cried in agony, more guttural than anything you had heard in your entire life, as you shoved him off of you and made a running start for the gate. He blindly fumbled around for you, wailing when he found no trace of your warmth.

“ DON’T GO! PLEASE!” He screamed, desperately trying to push himself off of the ground. “ STAY WITH ME!”  His eyes, silver and filled with every emotion known to man, settled on you through blood and tears as you sprinted towards the half moon. ”[NAME]!!!!” He cried one last time before you jumped through, not even bothering to look at his pitiful state.

The world slurred around you in a cacophony of screams, silver, and the brightest of reds. It felt like you were in complete darkness, coated in anguish and regret, and then you couldn’t breathe. You fought, you struggled even with everything weighing you down, and eventually, you were able to take a gasp of air. You struggled for a moment before realizing that you were sopping wet and sitting in the middle of the pond that you had originally fallen into.

The clearing was still quiet as you scrambled out, slipping on damp grass and slick mud. You were filthy, with your clothes plastered to your skin. Not to mention it was absolutely freezing, cold ripping into your injury and fragile state. You swiped the water off your face, and when you caught sight of your fingers you laughed in relief. The noise ripped from your sore throat as the silver color of the realm slowly bled out from your skin, your color returning to its original hue. You had done it.

You cackled loudly as you fell back, looking up at the bright half moon, smiling down at you and your success. The moist grass wasn’t comfy, but you let yourself sink into it, simply too tired to care. And when your joy had passed, you stretched out your palms to the sky, imagined a heartbroken Samuel bleeding and weeping your name, and you too began to cry. 

[ghostieblr]

Secret Life of Stiles & Derek

IT IS FINALLY HERE! Inspired from this post of mine (of which i posted a sneak peak here)... now i bring to you, the FULL FIC ON A03.

Thank y'all for showing interest in it <3

Here is a little bit of sneak peak:

*

He settles beside Cora, stretches there so his legs open to create space for Stiles. Stiles, who doesn’t even glance at Scott calling his name, too busy in arranging the snacks, and then finding the remote. Derek waves it once, and Stiles beelines for it.

“I want it! I get to choose the film, ok Sourwolf, because I called this pack night!” As he says it, he’s moving forward, and it makes Derek’s heart soar that there’s no second thought before he plops himself down between the V of his legs. Derek hands over the remote.

And of course Stiles puts on Star Wars, Episode III.

“Why.”

“Inflection, Der, use them. They’re the souls—”

“—Souls of language. Yes, I know, Stiles. But I love to—”

“—love to fight against period, commas and question marks because I love to see you squirm.” Stiles recites perfectly, thanks to the number of times they’ve had this argument, and then corrects himself, “I mean, you love to see me squirm, you asshole!”

Somewhere distantly, he hears Scott mutter, “Yeah he is. Come here Stiles.”

Derek puts his free hand around Stiles’ waist and pulls him backwards into his chest, and Stiles lets him do it. He settles firmly in Derek’s lap, like this is the easiest thing to do. It makes Derek happy.

“Now shush, let me watch the credits in peace!”

Derek takes the remote and fast-forwards it.

“Nephew…”

“You’re an idiot,” Cora tacks on to their uncle's reprimand, and then, “Why do you never learn?”

Stiles simply takes the popcorn bowl from his hand and puts it in Cora’s hands. She swats away Boyd’s hands from taking any of it, and then sighs loudly as Derek and Stiles devolve into a wrestling, writhing mass of degenerates beside her.

Stiles emerges victorious and wins the remote, so Derek pulls him in by his hips and wraps his arms around his chest. Puts his head on Stiles’ right shoulder and groans when he rewinds the film back to the starting point.

“Idiot,” Cora mutters, and hands back the bowl of popcorn to Derek. He isn’t really sorry about it, though. And both Cora and Peter know it, so they send him knowing looks which he steadfastly ignores.

The movie begins again. Stiles cuddles closer to him, Derek’s hands on his chest, his hips. Enclosing him in. He turns his head, and their faces are so, so close. Their noses touch. Their eyes are cross-eyed they’re so infuriatingly, blessingly close. Stiles says, “Der.”

He pulls back and picks up a handful of the popcorn, more salty ones than tomato flavored ones — they’re more his favorite, not Stiles’ — from where he’d kept the bowl between him and Cora, and feeds Stiles one by one.

Once the handful of popcorn has been eaten, Stiles turns back, and Derek picks up his own handful. A couple minutes pass by, the world on the screen the only noise, but then Stiles turns around again. He doesn’t say anything, but Derek understands anyways and feeds Stiles. It makes him satisfied in a way he’s both thrilled and concerned about, which basically sums up his life. But in this moment he focuses on Stiles, and the intimacy of their trust, the way Stiles allows him to provide for him. The way Stiles trusts him with these small things, and when it matters, with the big things. Like Stiles’ life.

This time, a murmur kick starts between the betas. Mainly Isaac and Erica, who are trying to tamp down their curiosity but are unable to do so. Boyd isn’t into the gossip, but Derek sees him watching them a couple of times.

On the other hand, he can smell Scott silently fuming, and Allison’s gentle scraping along his scalp, his arms. Trying to control him. Anchoring him. Derek smirks, unable to help the way his chest expands with possessive pride.

“What’s up?” Stiles asks, without turning. His eyes are locked onto the screen.

“Nothing. Just the popcorn’s almost over.” It is. They’re down to two handfuls each.

Stiles pauses the film, never one to miss even a second of it, and scans the coffee table. It’s still full with food. He frowns. “Nobody is eating?”

Nobody is replying, either. Stiles stands up and hovers beside the table, looks at Derek helplessly. He’d brought everyone’s favorite and some extra — he’d planned this down to every last detail. Except, of course, realizing that they don’t know about his and Derek’s history, or their current friendship.

*

You can continue reading it here on AO3.

Tagging the people who wanted me to tag 'em once i posted this fic:

@demonicfaery @lovehahajk @emilyinhouston @jadezdominion @sterekloverforever @hogwarts-starship @deliahale @princecharmingwinks

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Carole Lombard (To Be Or Not To Be, My Man Godfrey)— One of the most stunningly beautiful and glamorous people of the golden age of Hollywood, and also one of the funniest. She wasn't afraid to be over-the-top and undignified to get a laugh. And legend has it she managed to fend off the unwanted advances of Fredric March by wearing a strap-on in her dressing room and freaking him the hell out when he tried to seduce her. She was a total legend.

Leonor Maia (The Tyrannical Father)— She didn't do a lot of movies but in The Tyrannical Father she is so pretty and charming that there's a guy who's obsessed with her to such a degree he is still a meme 80 years later. Her character's name is Tatão and the guy would stare at her whenever she was there and say her name to the tune of everything. A clock ticking: ta-tão, ta-tão, ta-tão. And to this day one of the lines people know the best from that very quotable movie is "ta-tão". She inspired crushes and horniness of legendary levels.

This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Carole Lombard:

She was an amazing actress that I think has become a bit underrated due to her early death. Stellar comedic actress with great dramatic potential, loved hanging around with the crew on set and swore up a storm. I only saw my first movies of hers a little over a year ago and I've been obsessed with watching as many of them as I can find since then. She has this monologue in Hands Across the Table that I had to rewind and watch again because her performance of it was so good.

She defined what it was to be a comedic actress in the 1930s, starring in a bunch of screwball comedies that still hold up. She was married to two certified Hot Vintage Actors, William Powell and Clark Gable, but tragically died at 33 in a plane crash following a war bond rally in 1942. She was the love of Gable’s life, and although he married a couple of more times, he was buried beside her when he died.

Incredibly foul-mouthed, had a habit of stripping in front of gay male costars and loudly wondering why they cared, never wore a bra (and rarely panties), was always yelling about how based the New Deal was.

She was gorgeous and a comedy genius! She could have chemistry with a rock!

[da-birb-writes-sometimes]

OMG I’m so excited for this!!! Can I request Vil with the prompt rainy nights?? Can it be fluffy and romantic? Anyway I hope you have a wonderful day!! :)

Rainy Nights; Vil Schoenheit

Content; Fluff, gender-neutral reader, established romantic relationship

Content Warning; Reader cries because of a movie, death (movie)

Word Count; 700+

Author's Note; I had a vision; watching old movies with Vil as the rain came down. I had a lot of fun writing this, and this is also my first solo Vil piece, so I hope I did him justice here.

As a reminder, do not put my work — or others for that matter — into AI as it steals. Link to Masterlist

You were rummaging around the TV console, going through the numerous DVDs and VHS tapes that were just sitting around and collecting dust. Tonight was your night for movie night, as yesterday was Vil’s, so you were weighing your options. Sure, there were streaming services, but there’s just something that hits differently with a physical copy, flaws and all. Plus it’s not like you could go out since it was raining like no tomorrow outside. So, movie night.

“Having any luck,” Vil gently called from the washroom, still doing his nightly routine.

Your eyes still scoured the various cases, trying to find the perfect one. “Not yet. Just give me a minute, m’kay?”

Vil gave you a hum as an answer, leaving you be.

Horror movie? No, he wouldn’t like that. Mystery? Too predictable… And then you found what looked like the most faded cases, colour worn away from age and a hand going back time and time again. That one.

Pulling it out, you dusted off the case, inspecting the title. Of the smudged-out words, you could make out The, some kind of smudged-out word, Blossom. It looked like a black-and-white movie, and on the front were the protagonists with their backs together, flower petals surrounding them, and a dagger above them. This, this is perfect.

Vil came out of the washroom, wearing his matching royal purple pyjamas and house robe, and glowing from the various skin products that he used. He looked curiously over your shoulder. “Hmm, The Bitter Blossom,” he mused, turning his gaze to you. “Is that your pick, Schatz?” His tone was light, a sign that he approved, and was mildly surprised at your pick.

“Mhm,” you hummed, placing the VHS tape into the VCR player. Whoever had played it last had saved you the trouble of rewinding it. “Have you watched it before?”

“Surprisingly, no. Copies of it are extremely hard to come by.” He got the sofa ready, adjusting the pillows, grabbing one of the many quilts, and a box of tissues, just in case. He noticed the look you were giving him, “I haven’t watched it, but I have heard about how it ends.”

You raised a brow, but shrugged. You pressed play and scrambled over to your spot next to Vil, getting comfy and pulling that handy quilt over the both of you — the rain had made it a little bit chilly.

The Bitter Blossom started playing. Not only was it in black-and-white, but it was also a silent film. The protagonists were two lovers who met by chance, their relationship going from cold strangers to a budding romance. 

But why had Vil grabbed the tissues? The movie was almost over, it couldn’t possibly—

But then the antagonist, a jealous ex of one of the main protagonists, stabbed the love interest in the back with a dagger. The movie ended with the protagonist hugging their love interest, flower blossoms falling down around them.

“Do not let the bitter blossom of hatred and vengeance bloom in your heart or mind, my love. Do not let it ruin the happiness which we fleetingly had.” The words flashed on the screen before the movie ended with the screen fading into black.

That, that was why Vil had grabbed the tissues. Wait, were you crying? That would explain why Vil was gently dabbing away the stray tears as they rolled down your face.

“A lovely film, love,” he whispered, “I should have warned you about the ending—”

You stopped him by grabbing softly at his hand, bringing it up to cup your face. “No, it’s alright. It was a beautiful movie,” you hiccuped, leaning into his touch. 

Vil caressed calming strokes on your cheek, the slow movements helping you focus on him. He placed a kiss on your forehead, a gentle hum escaping as the kiss lingered. “Oh potato,” your old nickname from when the two of you were still just only acquaintances, “what am I going to do with you?”

You grabbed a tissue and loudly blew your nose, “Cuddles?”

Vil sighed softly, but put his arm around you, resting his head against yours and placing a kiss to your temple. “Alright,” he hummed and continued humming a gentle tune until you were falling asleep. While he would prefer sleeping in bed, he supposed he could stand to cuddle with you on the sofa as the rain eased up outside.

~~~~~~~

Schatz; German for treasure, a common term of endearment

Tags; @azulashengrottospiano [I've seen the Vil brain rot and gushing], @eynnwwyjth, @xxoomiii

[ar1mas]

- a rant

no because ive watched this stupid show 5 years ago, and i only noticed this now?? how???

ok. some context first. this is about fox' gotham, a prequel series to batman. or at least a potential one with slight changes. one of those changes is the relationship between oswald cobblepot and edward nygma (spelled with a 'y' for mayhap legal reasons? idfk its silly). whats their relationship like in the show? well...

theyre gay af. idk what to tell you.

okay so oswalds gay as fuck. edwards... ambiguous. totally ambiguous. he had a girlfriend or 2 and a half (kristen kringle, the-woman-who-shall-not-be-named (aka kristen but... blonde? this show is weird), and lee. not comfy counting lee, but technically shes one, hence the 'and a half')! very straight, much hetero (on another side note how tf is oswald the gay one, like i know he wears make-up and shit but eddies all about theatrics and showmanship and flair and hOW IS OSWALD THE GAY ONE NEXT TO HIM?? ok anyway).

so oswald was (is. be real.) canonically in love with ed, ed was.........., and 'penguin in love' is a piece of music composed by david russo for season three in which the whole "im in love with my best friend" thing took place.

that song has been used all over season three, as far as i can tell not once in season four, and once in season five.

.....or so i thought.

because yesterday, while in another obsession phase (of which i get one a few times a year. ive only ever watched the show once, in 2019, when it ended. still dream about nygmobblepot though. i dont dream about media, like ever, but with them, its different), i saw 5x8 to satiate my never satisfied craving of nygmob scenes, obviously skipping the main story bc i dont care about that straight shit. i got to the scene where oswald kills mr. scarface and frees arthur penn from said mr. scarface, after which ed shoots him in the head because thats what one does in such a situation, thought "aw how cute", again, as one does, and then realised.

what was that background music just now? rewinds.... oh. oh haha, its 'penguin in love'. how fun.

WHAT.

WHY IS THAT IN THERE. WHY DID THEY INCLUDE IT.

correction. it wouldve made sense to have it here. they used it in 5x5 for the speech about not backstabbing each other (wedding vows for murderers fr fr), so using it again after their relationship has solidified wouldve made sense.

note how im saying 'would have'.

because it would have made sense, if they used it when ed said "i accept you for the person that you are, just as you accept me for the cold logician that i am. thats why this friendship is great." they didnt, though. they used another equally heartfelt song for that. dunno what its called, it sounds a bit like 'penguin in love' but isnt, not sure if that one has a specific meaning like 'penguin in love' does.

so when was the song used? at 36:08 – 36:17. barely ten seconds, right before eds lines, right before ed kills penn.

...right when penn was sitting in oswalds lap because theyd been fighting for the gun and os fell on the ground.

now. the most obvious answer to "why in the fucking hell" would be because ooh this dudes on his lap so sexy, but no. no. 'penguin in love' is about one specific thing: love. the pure kind. the kind that makes you giddy with butterflies in your stomach, kicking your legs, while youre on your bed, writing in your diary about this guy you have a crush on. and oswald and penn do have history, oswald was more or less fond of penn, but not in love (i mean where would he have found the room in his heart if it was already filled with EDWARD EDWARD EDWARD martin my sweet boy EDWARD EDWARD EDWA-). im also definitely not thinking that penn was so happy about being free from mr. scarfaces influence and not having to kill oswald (oh yeah, the horror. who would wanna kill oswald, the guy with the big ego, who never does anything for anyone without some kind of endgoal- well, unless your name is edward of course) that he instantly fell in love with the guy. i can deal with the homicidal kind of crazy, but that? no. thats where i draw the line.

the next most obvious answer is that it was about oswalds love for ed. more believable, since its what the song was made for, but more believable doesnt mean believable. or likely. because even if i 100% believe that hes been loving this dude for so long its not something he has to think about anymore for it to be true, im pretty sure that itd be very random to suddenly focus on that when oswald was just about to die. so no, even if its what the song is intrinsically about.

so next most obvious answer is- wait. thats it. huh? theres no obvious answer anymore? everything else is brainrot? oh. oh well. its been five years, im sure its too late to worry about it now. what the hell.

im sure you know where im going with this. or maybe not. honestly idk what the fuck im talking about-

youre smart. you know what im about to say. if it wasnt about what oswald was feeling because he was otherwise preoccupied, and it wasnt about penn because that makes no fucking sense, then who was this song used for? who else was in the room?

...oh.

YOU.

YOU FUCKING IMBECILE. YOU STUPID DENSE PIECE OF-

inhale, exhale. no. don’ get mad, you know he cant help it. you know hes totally helpless when it comes to emotions. just breathe. ok.

i hate him. i hate him so much.

if the song wasnt for oswalds sake, it was for his. because i know hes in love with oswald, but does ed? does the producers??

'penguin in love' is about oswalds love. its about his love for edward. its about their love, their relationship. its about edward just as much as it is about oswald.

a-fucking-PPARANTLY, I DIDNT KNOW THAT!! I JUST THOUGHT OH YEAH OZZY BE THE GAY ONE HAHA FUNNY, I DIDNT KNOW IT COULD BE ABOUT ED DIRECTLY!!!

(why am i like this? what is my life? i will never be normal.)

ed has always been the obsessive one. first kristen (and the woman who shall not be named is just an extention of that ofc), then oswald, then lee. and as weve seen with kristen, when hes obsessed with someone, he can become possessive. absolutely not on the scale oswald is on, but still. theres a wee bit of jelly there. oh you have a boyfriend? better get rid of him! oh you wanna run away from me bc i murdered your boyfriend? better keep you right in place and- oh shit did i kill you? ono D:

this is a huge oversimplification, but you get the point. its there. or at least it has to be there because why else do you get so angy that someone is sitting in the lap of your just friend because they were fighting and they ended up in that position totally accidentally? like thats not normal behaviour, for anyone, unless you have possessive tendencies.

i mean its not like penn was a threat in any way. "he wasnt the threat, the dummy was the-" like i understand ed told penn about the submarine which was supposed to be a secret, but come on, like they couldnt make sure penn wouldnt say anything. so why would ed shoot him? its not even like penn was a random dude where that type of thing would be very inconsequential, oswald knew him. hed worked for oswald, and like i said, oswald was more or less fond of the guy. penns just a poor little meow meow, y u kil him eddie? 🥺

unless this fondness was part of the problem. unless ed saw how happy oswald was to see him, got annoyed but let it slide, then used penn attacking os and knowing about the sub as an excuse to kill him. and why would oswald being happy to see penn be a problem to ed? it wouldnt be. it wouldnt be, unless ed thinks oswald is his.

which makes sense. i know im calling him names and calling him out, but like. oswald told him he loved him like 5 times 2 years prior, i dont blame him for believing that maybe theres something to it (especially since that was the point of 3x14, oswald really being in love with him and surprising himself with it). but i thought ed didnt feel the same way? because hes very hetero? because he had a full-on girlfriend before, twice, technically? because-

"the truth is oswald, you would sacrifice anyone to save your own neck. even me."

"like i said! you will always fail, because youll never change."

hm. i know this is a bit off topic, but i just got a war-flashback and... why did ed sound so hurt when he said that? "youll never change." "you would sacrifice anyone. even me." why does he care? they were friends, best friends, yes, but why does he sound like a heartbroken wife who just found out her husband cheated on her again? why does-

"honestly you deserve this. you are opportunistic, your loyalty is.. shaking, at best, and you will hurt anyone, anyone, to get what you want."

"and yes, i was not a good friend. to you or anyone. its why im alone. but i saw you for what you are and i valued that!"

...why would edward nygma, the man who literally said "i dont love you" to oswald, be jealous of even the idea that maybe penn could have something going on with oswald? and why would he act on it if hes usually so careful to not reveal his feelings (unless its about kristen. the original obsession, the american dream, the just be normal, show them you are normal, and people will accept you)? he wouldnt.

unless oswald just told him that he knows he messed up. that hes sorry for it.

and unless that made him think that maybe theres a chance.

"love is about sacrifice. its about putting someone elses needs and happiness before your own."

"you gave up your revenge for me?"

a chance... for what?

"life begins anew."

"shall we get to work?"

and if theres a chance, hes not about to risk losing it. not this time.

so maybe 'penguin in love' is about more than just oswalds feelings. maybe they were trying to tell us that, yes, we see you traumatised gay kid, were sorry this is all we can give you, but here you go, eds in love with him too, but don’t tell the channel. subtlely. just for barely ten seconds. and maybe it can be enough.

nope, it wont be. im gonna sit here crying about the injustice of not having them kiss on screen in the finale as was originally intended for the rest of my life. seriously though, what is this, nbc's hannibal, where im noticing something new details every single time i watch the show, causing me to spiral? no, i was already spiralling. the spiralling was the reason i rewatched the scene. the scene simply made it worse.

so yeah, im done freaking out about a mediocre show that was cancelled 5 years ago and is honestly not worth anyones time (like, its ok. it might even be better than i remember since its been so long. i doubt it. but its ok).

tl;dr: ive only now realised that a specific gay song plays in a specific episode of a show i watched 5 years ago and the only reason theyd include it in the episode is if the dude that was not canonically in love with the other dude was in fact gay, they just werent allowed to make it canon, so they added the gay song to subtlely tell us about it.

have a wonderful day, hellsite. dont do what i did and go crazy about fictional gay people. i know you will though, that’s why im here too. i hate gay people. these two make me homophobic so bad, i wanna gauge my eyes out and skin myself-

[in1-nutshell]

I’m now imagining Fearless with an online friend they have a crush on.  They feel to young for anyone aboard the lost light and the idea of Fearless suddenly spending a lot of time on their phone and being a little secretive about it is so fucking funny because no one would clock in on whats happening.  Everyone would immediately jump to the worst conclusion possible and start panicking.

A mini conspiracy board is filled with all the possibilities Fearless could be doing on the phone.

Hope you enjoy!

Fearless having an online crush and the Lost Light crew being the last to know

SFW, Platonic, Familial, Hinted romance, Human reader

MTMTE

The Lost Light was usually filled with loud noises and yelling.

Whether it be the good yelling or the bad really depended on the day and the bots involved.

Now a days the ship was still noisy, but less though.

Mainly because Fearless wasn’t at their usual antics.

Their attention was drawn to their phone.

This gave a much-needed break to bots like Ultra Magnus and Megatron.

But had a negative effect on bots like Whirl.

Whirl at the range shooting some blasters with Perceptor. Whirl sighs obnoxiously. Perceptor puts his blaster down and looks at him: “Is there something you need to say Whirl?” Whirl groaning: “It’s not the same anymore.” Perceptor: “What is not the same anymore?” Whirl: “Fearless usually comes with me to the range, but now it feels… I don’t know what it is, and I wish I could shoot it.”

Whirl has tried to get Fearless more active again but gets shut down by some of the crew.

They could be working and needing the time, or they were enjoying the silence like the others were.

That’s what everyone told each other for the first few days.

… but when the silence continued for more than a month, the crew started to worry about their resident human’s time on the phone.

It wasn’t just work; they knew that now.

No way their superiors would give THIS much work in so little time.

Fearless even began skipping on crew activities in favor for their new electronic friend.

But the worst part of it was that Fearless refused to show anyone anything from their phone.

They have gone to extreme lengths to make sure that no one sees their screen.

At Swerve’s… Fearless on their phone typing away on their little seat on the bar counter. Chromedome sitting next to them, casually placing his arm on the counter blocking any escape routes. Chromedome: “Hey Fearless, how’s everything?” Fearless still looking at their phone: “Fine, Domey.” Chromedome: “So… what are you typing? A story? A message?” He leans in a bit. Fearless brings the phone closer to their chest and starts looking for a way out. Brainstorm sits down on the other side and blocks Fearless’s other way out. Brainstorm: “No escaping this time. Show us the phone!” Fearless just stands up and glares at both before jumping backwards off the counter. Luckily Rewind is there and catches them. Fearless smiles at Rewind and pats the side of his helm. Fearless: “Thank Rewind!” They hop off his arms and casually walks out of the bar while sliding their phone back into their hand and typing away. Everyone at the bar: “…” Rewind looking at Whirl at the far end of the bar: “You need to get your Amica under control!”

A meeting was called shortly after that incident.

After doing quick research on humans and their relationship with their phone, it’s safe to say that they are terrified by the results.

What if they are getting cyberbullied?

What if they are watch inappropriate videos?

What if they bought 75 mops out of an impulsive buy?!

They needed to get Fearless away from their phone.

In secret meeting room… Whirl: “I say we just snatch the thing and crush it! BOOM! Problem solved.” Rodimus: “As much as I love that idea, Fearless still needs to do their work. No work, no Fearless.” Riptide: “Can’t Brainstorm hack it?” Rung: “No! That is a breach in personal—” Brainstorm on his data pad: “Already done!” Ratchet: “What?!” Brainstorm: “Wow! They have quiet a lot of text messages from one person!” Tailgate on Cyclonus’s shoulders: “What does it say?” Magnus: “Those are private—” Brainstorm: “Are you glucose? Because you’re sweet!” Everyone: “…” Megatron: “…what?” Brainstorm scrolling more: “This one is from Fearless. If you were a triangle, you’d be a cute!” Whirl facepalming: “Primus… they’re flirting! And not in a good way…” Megatron: “They are NOT flirting!” Nautica: “Oh those aren’t that bad Whirl.” Brainstorm: “You’re the Obi-Wan I see.” Skids: “Never mind then, that was cheesy. Like, Swerve’s sitcom cheesy. No offense Swerve.” Swerve: “None taken.” Rodimus looks at a silent Megatron. Rodimus: “Hey Megatron, you’ okay? You’re looking a little weird—AAAHHH!!” Megatron starts to sway before falling on top of Rodimus. Rodimus: “GAH! SOMEONE GET HIM OFF ME!” Fearless comes rushing into the room. Fearless: “What in the Allspark just happened it felt like an earthqu—OH PRIMUS! What happened to Meg’s!?!?” Magnus: “How do you know this room’s passcode? It was only given to specific crewmembers.” Fearless grabbing Megatron’s digit: “No time to explain! Get him to the med bay!”

Megatron on the outside.

Whirl on the inside realizing his Amica is using science and nerdy pick up lines for their crush.

[the-dumpster-fire-of-life]

Daddys Girl

Growing up you learned one thing.

You were called an “easy kid.” Nice, polite, quiet, forgotten. 

But you got that title because you gave it to yourself. In hopes that if you were good, you would get a slither of your father's attention. A bit of praise, a kiss on the head or something like when you were younger.

But no. That was for your little sister now. The hugs, the kisses, the smiles, the laughs.

It was like that was never you. Never held on your dad's shoulders, never tickled until you cried or never fell asleep on his side as cartoons played in the background.

Those were hidden away in a collection of pictures, memories and videos. Abandoned. Forgotten by everyone but you as you rewinded and rewinded them again and again.

Back when your father was who you called “daddy” because that's who he was. The one who showed up, the one who put you to sleep, the one who loved you.

Now he's just the one who didn't come to your award ceremony today. The one who drove you home without a thought in his mind as your little sibling rambled on in the backseat about how “daddy” gave her flowers at her ceremony.

The one that took place thirty minutes after yours.

You say looking out the window, not wanting to look at your dad or speak in hopes he wouldn't see the look on your face or the tears in your eyes.

Your sibling certainly didn't.

“How was school today?” Your father spoke up, surprisingly, even more surprised as the question was aimed at you.

You didn't look at him, simply shrugging your shoulders.

“Fine.” was simply all you offered, watching the trees pass by the window.

“That's good then.” Your father offered, giving you a side glance out the corner of his eye. His voice didn't indicate sarcasm or displeasure, but you had seen it aimed at you to know better.

“You're not excited about your award?” Your sister asked in her sweet, child like voice with a smile. You hated that smile. You hated it because you used to be that smile.

You turned over your shoulder to give your sibling a narrowed glare, not wanting it to be mentioned or talked about. Especially since your dad didn't show up or seem to even remember.

Your little sister didn't catch your look, or she was too clueless to understand. She rolled her eyes at you, thinking you were trying to be mean before she went back to her stupid smile.

Your dad drove you all home in silence. You could only feel relaxed as he pulled into the driveway and your escape was so close.

Your sibling padded out the car as quickly as she could, you unbuckled your seat back quickly and threw open the car door before your father spoke.

“(Name). Are you angry at me or your sister?” Your father tried to speak, genuinely sounding like he cared for once.

But you gave up on that trick a long time ago. 

You pretended like you didn't hear him, bounding out the car and jogging inside with your little paper certificate in hand.

“Mom! I got an award!” Your father heard you call out, seemingly happier as you tried to find your mother. 

Your father sat in the car for a moment as he heard your happy voice, but not to him. To your mother. He lost that happy, smiling voice of yours and the running into his arms long ago.

What was once a forgotten and stored away memory was now playing out in front of him, but his place was taken by your mother as he was forced to watch from the doorway as you showed your mother proudly.

Beaming like a five year old as your mother smiled at you like he used to, your arms around her waist and hers around your back like a perfect picture he had no right to ruin.

“That's great, baby!” Your mother went on, kissing your cheek and taking your little certification to put on the fridge.

You smiled, sitting on the counter and kicking your legs as you went on and on like you used to, your mother listening and feeding in.

Your mother was everything your dad wasn’t. She loved you, she showed she cared. She didn't replace you. Your father, the famous “Ghost”, noticed this. 

He could feel a tug and a piece of longing as he watched his baby girl drift so far away, but he wouldn't admit it. 

He watched you follow your mother, talking and smiling as your little sister sat next to him to color.

He tried to pay attention to your sister, but couldn't as he watched a part he played be taken right in front of him.

You and your mother used to be him and you, following at his heels, talking and smiling but now he was unnoticed and ignored like you were.

You didn't talk to him, he never had your attention anymore. Hugs were gone, kisses were non-existent and the daddy's girl was abandoned the minute he stepped back onto that field. 

Things were different from then on. No matter what you tried, your dad never preferred you anymore. You didn't talk to him, he didn't talk to you.

You weren't his little girl anymore.

You could feel your father looking at you but ignored the feeling because why give in?

You now sat at at the kitchen island, pecking away at homework as you ignored your father as he got up and moved around, but you still felt his stare.

You learned to ignore someone best from him, choose when to be cold and distant and who to be cold and distant too. Like he was to you. 

You could be sad and cold one moment, then happy and giddy the next. A choice to choose an emotion or a choice to switch them off. 

You learned from the best, your dad. 

Sometimes you wonder if that's how this came to be.

While you wondered, Ghost knew. It was why he left you in the dust. Why you were (Name), no longer his baby girl.

Because your smiling face reminded him too much of himself when he was younger, naive, stupid, childish. 

And somehow, you got the worst parts of him. The anger. The cold, lifeless eyes. Ones that stared back at him just as he stared back.

You were too similar to him. Choosing to leave the worst unsaid and the best forgotten, your sister's birth sealed his old baby girl away as another swooped in to take her place.

But your father couldn't help but want to be the one you talked to once more, the one who you loved still, the one you used to call Daddy.

But you couldn't because that was in the past, you've accepted he's different now.

You weren't important now. Your father was cold, he was distant now. Even if he tried he couldn't be like that again, close like you two were but he still wanted that.

It was gone long before he noticed what he had done. You would always be his daughter. And he would always be your dad. 

But you're someone else’s baby now.

You were no longer his.

[twistedwonderlandimaginesblog]

Hullo! May I ask for some fluffy headcanons for Malleus, Silver, Vil, and Epel sharing a kiss with their fem s/o during a movie night please? Thank you!

Epel Felmier:

Epel was excited to get to spend a little bit of free time with you even if there was a constant lingering thought in the back of his mind that if you spent too much time alone together you would realize you didn't want to be with a country bumpkin. The movie you picked had been about a small town and Epel was finding the comedy in it very real; this almost felt like it was filmed in his hometown with the people that he knew. He didn’t want to speak up but you can tell there’s been multiple times where he wanted to say something, which eventually led to you pausing the movie and telling him to spit it out. When he still hesitated you sensed it had something to do with his home life, leaning in to give him a quick peck on the lips as you confessed you wanted to know everything about him, even the parts he might not think you’d like. He opens up a little more after that, mumbling a few things here or there about people he knew who used to get into the exact same shenanigans.

Malleus Draconia: 

Malleus had left the movie choice up to you and when you came back to him with a dark romance, he wondered if you were trying to tell him something. You continued to play coy but felt yourself comfortably settle dup against Malleus for the entire duration, the star-crossed lovers in front of you from two very different worlds continuing to choose each other throughout each horrid circumstance they found themselves in. You can feel Malleus shifting restlessly as the two were torn apart, seeming very invested in the outcome of their relationship that was hanging in the balance due to interference from the ‘villains’ of the film. You took it upon yourself to turn his face toward yours, his eyebrow raised until you suddenly lean forward to press a kiss to his lips. He doesn’t show his surprise but he does become quite wrapped up in you, pulling you onto his lap (and as physically close as possible) as the movie continued on in the background. Needless to say, you didn’t get to watch the conclusion until the following day.

Silver: 

Silver is fighting to keep his eyes open, and you really don’t blame him. You’d chosen a classic movie about princes and princesses and noble knights, and while he was interested in it, it could never stop the sleeping curse that plagued him. It was partially your fault, you were too comfortable to be next to, too warm with a scent that was soothing to him, so he couldn’t help but let his guard down when you were around. His head is on your shoulder before the hour mark of the film and you can’t help but laugh, knowing you’d just let him rest as waking him up can be impossible. Seeing true loves kiss achieved in the movie gave you an idea, your eyes drifting to your sleeping beau; you gave him the gentlest kiss on the lips you could, pressure feather light to not actually disturb him. Silver’s eyes fluttered open and he gave you a half-lidded frown, apologizing for falling asleep on you yet again; you’re just happy that your kiss worked, keeping it in mind to test it again later.

Vil Schoenheit:

Vil is a little more focused on the movie than you but that was fine in your books, he looked exceedingly beautiful when he was concentrating, looking for the little details hidden in the background of the movie. When the dialogue started to become a bit heavy his gaze drifted to you, raising an eyebrow as he caught you staring at him; you thought he was going to tease you which, you were correct, but he offered a bit of a reward first. He tilted your chin up with a delicate finger and pressed his lips to yours, smiling as he told you to pay closer attention or you wouldn't fully appreciate the movie. He gets so lost in your eyes that he has to rewind back a minute or so to capture the rest of the characters conversation but he doesn't seem mad about it.

[iluvshinobukocho]

I’ve waited for so long.

Shinobu x Fem reader!

Started: July 29

Finished: August 1st, 2:53 AM

Hey dere! 🤓🥸 I really wanted to write an angsty type of oneshot but idk how those go. So this is my first time hope u guys enjoy.

Listening to Twice got me through writing this. Favorite song from them is probably Doughnut or Rewind ^w^!!

•••••••••••••••••

All three Kocho sisters were together with (Y/n) out shopping. Kanae had sent (Y/n) to make line while the Kocho sisters talked.

“Why don’t you give her a chance? She seems sweet and genuinely likes you.” The seventeen year old asked feeling pity for the one that keeps on pursuing her little sister.

“I don’t have time for relationships! I have to train to become stronger. And besides I don’t like her like that.” The fourteen year old answered.

“You don’t like her, huh?? Interesting.. so how come when someone else compliments or flirts with her, you shoo them away. If you don’t like her then you shouldn’t shoo away her potential relationships.” Kanae scolded.

“But nee-san! They’re not good enough for her!” Shinobu tried making an excuse.

“That’s not for you to decide, is it?” Kanae replied debunking her little sister’s ‘reasoning’.

Kanao had stayed in the middle of both of them turning each time one of them talked.

Shinobu frowned but realized her sister was right. If I really don’t like her I should just let her be. The fourteen year old girl thought.

It was time to test that thought. Shinobu and Kanae watched from a distance as a blonde girl around (Y/n)’s age came up to her. She could hear their conversation from where she was standing with her older sister.

“Are you single?” The blondie started. “Yes, but I have someone on my mind right now” (Y/n) replied showing no interest in the girl, making Shinobu sigh in relief.

“Don’t worry, give me a chance to take you out and I’ll be the one on your mind” The stranger continued not getting the hint.

“I can’t.. I’ve liked them for so long”

“It’s okay. Let me take you out on a date and see if it’ll make you change your mind about them.” The girl said holding out her hand.

In (Y/n)’s head, she was thinking about how Shinobu has always rejected her. Maybe I should try this out, after all Shinobu doesn’t like me back. Every time I ask her out, she rejects me by saying I annoy her.

Shinobu grumbled in anger on how persistent this stranger is. She didn’t realize but her older sister was also watching the whole thing. She was giggling at her little sister’s reactions.

(Y/n) paused for a bit and stared at the hand. Shinobu tried making her way over there but was stopped by Kanae’s arm. “Don’t. You aren’t allowed to control who she goes out with since you aren’t dating.”

Shinobu grunted in anger, not taking her eyes off of (Y/n) and the girl. A fire ignited in her when she saw the brunette slowly reaching for the hand.

The fourteen year old threw Kanae’s arm to the side and ran to the possible couple. She hugged (Y/n)’s arm, “(Y/n)! Let’s go on a date” she asked hurriedly.

Kanae face palmed her forehead immediately. She faced Kanao, “Don’t ever be like your hot head sis Shinobu when it comes to crushes. If your crush ever likes someone else, don’t stop their potential relationships. Okay, Kanao?”

Kanao nodded slowly

“Eh!? R-right now?” The brunette asked with red in her cheeks. She was surprised by the sudden demand in a date.

“What? No! She was about to say yes to my date. You can’t just interrupt us.” The blonde girl shouted angrily to Shinobu.

“Oh really?? Guess what.. I just did. Now (Y/n) what do you think about that date?” Shinobu asked again smirking.

“I’d love to go on a date with you.” (Y/n) responded happily. With that Shinobu held (Y/n)’s hand and walked her to Kanae.

(Y/n) was smiling widely, her long time crush just asked her on a date after getting rejected multiple times!

“Well congrats you two.” was the first thing Kanae said.

••••••••••••••••

“Onee-san I’m nervous. I’ve never felt this way before. This is my first time going out on a date! How are they supposed to go? What if I mess up!? What if she ends up hating me after seeing I’m not experienced?” Shinobu panicked.

“Shinobu listen to me. Just go with the flow, (Y/n) is a great person. She wouldn’t hate you because of a date, she has loved you for so long.” Kanae reassured Shinobu.

Shinobu took a deep breath and calmed down. “You’re right.”

There was a knock at the door. Kanae patted Shinobu’s back and pushed her forward softly. Shinobu opened the door and saw (Y/n).

“Take good care of my little sister (Y/n)! I know she can be a handful sometimes.” Kanae teased.

“Nee-san! Stop embarrassing me!” Shinobu whined.

(Y/n) laughed before responding with, “Of course! I’ll always take care her of until she wants me to stop.”

“I know she’s in the right hands.” Kanae said smiling.

“Okay! That’s enough. Let’s go now before she spits out more nonsense.” Shinobu said hurriedly grabbing (Y/n)’s hand and running through the butterfly estate.

•••••••••••••••

The two fourteen year old’s decided to just have fun. First thing they decided to do was go to a cat cafe. Well.. they wanted to go to a cafe but the only one available was a cat cafe.

From the moment they arrived, all the cats were attracted to (Y/n) which offended Shinobu a bit.

I mean sure she doesn’t like cats or furry animals of the sorts but did none really want to come up to her?

She was sulking a bit until a black cat with purple eyes walked up to her. “(Y/n) look! It’s coming up to me!” She whispered shouted happily.

(Y/n) turned towards the black cat and it really was walking towards Shinobu. She watched as it jumped from the ground to Shinobu’s lap.

Shinobu doesn’t like furry animals but she made an exception for this one as it chose her. She was petting the cat the whole time as the girls talked.

When they decided to go somewhere else (Y/n) swears she saw Shinobu frown a bit when leaving the purple eyed feline.

“What happened to not liking furry animals?” The brunette teased.

“I still don’t! It’s just the cat chose me over you, so it clearly had amazing taste.” The butterfly clipped girl said confidently making (Y/n) playfully roll her eyes.

••••••••••••••

Next, for their date, Shinobu decided to go and walk around the park. The two teenagers were simply chatting and walking.

When a dog that was running, away from its owner they guessed came running towards them. The girls separated ahead of time, not wanting to get caught in the crossfire.

Then the butterfly girl saw that the dog with it’s tongue fully out was coming towards her. It slowed down when it caught up to her and started sniffing her.

Shinobu freaked out not liking how it was rubbing it’s fur against her. She back up and started running away. The dog took a liking to her and chased after her thinking it was a game.

She started screaming when every time she turned back it was closer than before. (Y/n) was watching the whole thing play out, laughing and wheezing.

Shinobu ran around the whole park shouting, “(Y/N)!!! STOP LAUGHING ITS NOT FUNNY.”

It went on for five minutes until she got tired and sat down on the bench where (Y/n) was at, laughing.

The dog caught up and landed its front paws on Shinobu’s lap sticking out its tongue, panting.

“So you could handle the cat earlier but not this?” (Y/n) asked, giggling.

“Uhh duh! There’s a huge difference. The cat was smaller and more petite than compared to this big furry beast!” Shinobu countered.

Then, the same girl from earlier that asked out (Y/n) was running, panting towards them. She stopped and had her hands on her knees trying to catch her breath.

She hadn’t looked up to notice who they were. She just saw her dog and ran quickly.

“Th-Thank you for taking care of my dog.” She panted out. “No problem” (Y/n) responded awkwardly.

“Makes sense why the dog ran from you. I would want to too.” Shinobu fired, a bit upset.

That caught the girl’s attention and she immediately shot up. Then she realized who the one who caught her dog was. She rolled her eyes, “Ha ha very funny.”

“Even your dog prefers me over you” Shinobu pointed out. The dog was still wagging its tail infront of Shinobu, paying no attention to its owner.

The girl was going to fire something back, but was interrupted.

“Okayyy… well you can take your dog back.” (Y/n) butted in before things escalated. “Yeah. I should leave now.” The girl responded.

She put on her dog’s collar and glared at Shinobu. The blonde turned to (Y/n) and smirked. She had an idea to anger Shinobu.

The stranger stood up and walked away from the girls. She suddenly turned around and stared at (Y/n).

“Well, my offer from earlier still stands. When you’re done with this random and realize she’s not all that. I wouldn’t mind going on a date with you, cutie.” She said seductively, winking and walked away with her dog.

Shinobu gasped angrily and stood up. She was stopped by (Y/n) who tugged her haori. “It’s fine, calm down. I’m on a date with you. I’m the luckiest girl in the world.” The brunette said, making Shinobu feel all better.

The short girl sat back down and let (Y/n) rest her head on her shoulder. They sat there for awhile just enjoying each other’s company.

•••••••••••••

The sun was going to start setting down soon so they decided to watch it. They both knew about a small cliff in a forest near their home that had a perfect view of a river and the sun.

“How about a race?” (Y/n) suggested. “Yeah? Do you seriously think you have a chance against me?” Shinobu said cockily.

“Yeah! I’ve been training pretty hard with Kanae.” (Y/n) responded confidently.

“I’ve literally trained longer with her. Trust me, I can beat you in my sleep.” Shinobu declared, smirking.

“Okay! 321 go!” (Y/n) said quickly, catching the latter off guard.

“You cheater!” Shinobu shouted as she started to run.

“Eat my dust!!!” (Y/n) responded. She started getting near the forest where the cliff was. She entered and was starting to feel a bit tired but she knew she was near so continued. She turned around to see how far behind Shinobu was, but she couldn’t see her.

Until she turned back to the front and saw Shinobu jumped from tree to tree. Now it was (Y/n)’s turn to shout out, “Cheater!”

“Nuh uh!” Shinobu shouted, turning around and sticking her tongue out at (Y/n).

This got (Y/n) fired up and started to run faster. She caught up to Shinobu and saw the cliff. Her legs were going to give out any second now, but she pushed through and ran even faster.

She wasn’t the only one who sped up. Shinobu started to jump quicker. She leaped from a tree to the cliff but falling down took time. She was 2 feet away from the ground and (Y/n) was right behind her.

(Y/n) threw herself forward and they both landed! They both groaned at the pain, but remembered the race. They opened their eyes to see who landed farther but saw each other’s eyes.

Shinobu landed on the ground and (Y/n) was on top of her. (Y/n) smirked and started tickling Shinobu. “Tell me I won and I’ll stop!” (Y/n) demanded.

Shinobu laughed uncontrollably, “N-NO!” she was able to mutter out. She tried fighting back and was able to switch the positions. Now, she started to tickle the brunette back. “Now YOU, tell me I won the race!”

“KYAAA NO!” (Y/n) screamed, laughing in between. She couldn’t take it anymore, “S-Stop! Y-you win o-okay?” The one on the ground said.

Shinobu was satisfied and stopped torturing (Y/n). She got off (Y/n) and walked to sit down on the cliff. (Y/n) caught her breath before sitting down with Shinobu.

She kissed Shinobu’s cheek, “I actually think it was a tie.” the brunette started. Shinobu agreed trying to act as if she wasn’t blushing from the kiss, “Yeahhh, but you said I won sooo”

“I guess, woah the sun’s beautiful.” (Y/n) commented, finally looking at it. The sky was pink, and orange making it already look gorgeous, but the clouds looked light blue making it prettier.

“Yeah it is.” Shinobu replied, before looking at (Y/n). She smiled as she saw the sparks in (Y/n)’s eyes. She kissed (Y/n)’s cheek back. Red immediately started to color (Y/n)’s cheeks.

“You’re really sweaty!” The short girl commented on the brunette. “Hey! You are too, but I didn’t say anything!” (Y/n) fired back.

Shinobu smiled softly and laid her head on (Y/n)’s shoulder. She looked down and saw the river. She swears she saw a flash of orange go by. She lifted an eyebrow but suspected nothing.

“Look at the river! You can see some fish in it.” Shinobu pointer out. “Oh yeah! You’re right.” (Y/n) replied.

The two teenage girls continued chatting until the sun finished setting down. They forgot to return home and ended up falling asleep. (Y/n) fell asleep on top of Shinobu who was hugged her tightly.

••••••••••••

After a few hours (Y/n) woke up first. Her mouth felt dry and she knew she needed to pee soon. She got up from Shinobu and saw that the sun was starting to set.

She then looked down at the river and saw a white, orange with red type of guy. Her eyes widen immediately, she rubbed her eyes to get a better look.

When she opened them, she saw nothing. Maybe I’m just seeing things she thought. She turned back to Shinobu and saw her sleeping soundly. She was snoring softly.

The brunette didn’t want to wake her up because she looked so cute, but she really needs to use the bathroom. She shook the latter who mumbled, “Onee-san.. five more minutes please.”

(Y/n) couldn’t help but laugh. She thought of an idea to wake the sleeping girl. She brought her lips closer to Shinobu and peppered the girl’s face with kisses. She avoided the lips though.

Shinobu woke up giggling, making (Y/n) smile. Shinobu opened her eyes slowly and saw (Y/n)’s face smiling back at her. She wrapped her armms around (Y/n)’s waist and brought her closer.

“Try escaping me!” She challenged. “Shinobu!! I would love to challenge you but I really need to pee!!” (Y/n) whined.

“Oh my! Sorry.” Shinobu apologized, unwrapping her arms around (Y/n). “It’s okay but let’s hurry to the village first please!!” (Y/n) whined.

“Okay, okay” Shinobu replied. The two girls had a successful date and walked back home. Not knowing what awaited them in a certain village.

(The village is near where they live).

•••••••••••

They were both near the village, when the scent of blood hit their noses. They turned to each other with widened eyes and ran as fast as possible.

When they arrived they saw blood was everywhere and walls were broken. The whole place was a mess, children were crying for their moms and fathers were crying for their wives.

Shinobu immediately sent En to send Kakashi here. (Y/n) did the same with her bird, Midnight. The girls huddled up all the survivors together and that were all crying, hugging each other.

The demon slayer girls found some injured people under the rubble and cleared the way. They waited for the kakashi to come and carry the injured people.

(Y/n) and Shinobu searched around after a kid came up to them crying, saying to look for their savior. A tall lady with long beautiful hair, and a clip in her hair. They immediately both thought of Kanae and searched the whole place.

(Y/n) entered a house and saw Kanae there lying in a pool of blood. Tears started to fall through her eyes. “KANAE” she shouted, crying. She ran to Kanae and tried stopping the blood.

“Its no use..” she heard her mentor say.

Shinobu ran through the door upon hearing the shout from the brunette and saw her older sister.

“N-no.. Onee-san! Please get up” She shouted running to her sister. She hugged her and cried onto the bloody haori.

Kanae brought her hand up to Shinobu’s cheek and was able to mutter a few words, Shinobu could barely hear them.

“Shinobu… leave the demon hunters. I know you’re working hard. And you really, really are… but maybe you’re better off..” Kanae paused, Shinobu staying silent.

“I just want you to obtain happiness like any normal girl would. And live until you turn really old. That’s… enough for me..” Kanae finished.

“No! I wont ever quit! And I will avange you for sure! Tell me! What was this demon!! That beat you just now..!!” Shinobu shouted angrily, tears streaming down nonstop.

“Just tell me Kane nee-san!! Please..! I cant live a normal life after someone did this to you!!” Shinobu continued.

“Nee-san.. please” Shinobu choked out, sobbing. (Y/n) was watching the whole thing crying silently.

“Very well.. It was a demon with blood stains on the top of his head… he always gave a carefree smile. And he speaks in a calm, gentle manner.” Kanae finished, finally closing her eyes.

“No! No no no no Nee-san PLEASE WAKE UP!” Shinobu screamed crying. (Y/n) heard the kakashi arrive and went out to help. She wiped her eyes but couldn’t stop crying.

••••••••••

“Leave.” was the first thing the fourteen year old girl muttered after (Y/n) entered the room where Shinobu was, hugging Kanae. Seven minutes had passed and (Y/n) finished helping the kakashi, they were both still crying.

“W-what? Shinobu please.?” (Y/n) choked out.

“(Y/n) please.. leave..” the shorter girl said mumbling the end.

“N-no you need me more than ever now. I can’t just leave you!” The brunette tried reasoning.

“I said leave. This wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for you. If I hadn’t gone on that date with you and helped my sister sh.. she.. she would be alive.” Shinobu shouted in anger not thinking straight.

“Shinobu please! I don’t want to leave you. I can’t, I love you.. and I want to help you. You’re upset and not thinking clearly. I know you’re suffering because of Kanae’s passing but.. you can’t just ask me to leave you! I’m also hurt, leaving you would destroy you!” (Y/n) argued back sobbing walking closer to hug Shinobu.

She got closer and tried embracing Shinobu. Shinobu pushed her off harshly, “(Y/n).. this is the last time I’m telling you. Leave me the fuck alone.. Get away from me.. I dont need your help. I should have never gone on that date with you. I regret it. Go somewhere where I won’t see you.” the angered girl said with venom in her voice, glaring at the girl.

“Shi-Shinobu.. please. You’re not thinking straight!” (Y/n) cried. Shinobu stayed silent ignoring the brunette. “Okay.. I understand. I’ll leave you alone for good.” (Y/n) said wiping her tears, leaving Shinobu alone.

•••••••••

(Y/n) arrived at the butterfly estate crying and went straight to her room. She cried as she packed up her things. She took her Nichirin sword, demon slayer uniform, and extra clothes.

She had lots of money with her. She thought about leaving a letter for the triplets, Aoi, and Kanao but decided not to. She hurried before Shinobu saw her again.

(Y/n)’s heart was aching just at the thought of never seeing Shinobu and the butterfly girls anymore but she’d do anything Shinobu asked. Midnight, (Y/n’s crow) caught up to her and rested on the brunette’s head.

She ran, and ran until it was night. She found a wisteria house and crashed there. Little did she know back home at the butterfly estate Shinobu was knocking on her door.

Shinobu didn’t hear a response and sighed, “(Y/n) please open up. I’d like to apologize for how I reacted. You.. were right I wasn’t thinking straight.”

Still no response, “(Y/n)? I know you’re upset but please open up.” The silence was loud. “(Y/n) open the door!… Okay, I’m coming in!” Shinobu shouted angrily in the beginning, but lowered her voice at the end.

She threw the door open and saw the room was empty. (Y/n)’s nichirin sword was nowhere to be seen, and her uniforms were all gone. The short girl’s eyes widened, she fell to her knees.

“(Y/n) no.. come back please. Please tell me this is a joke. Please come out now..!” Shinobu said panicking, crying.

She got up and laid on (Y/n)’s bed. It still smelt like (Y/n). She inhaled the bedsheets scent and was a bit calmer.

Aoi walked in the room and saw Shinobu in (Y/n)’s bed. She raised an eyebrow at the sight. “Shinobu-sama.. why are you in (Y/n)-sans bed..?” She asked, a bit freaked out.

“She’s.. she’s gone.” Shinobu gasped out. Aoi’s eyes widened and tears began to form. The triplets and Kanao heard the commotion and entered the room.

“What’s going on!?” The butterfly girls asked innocently. “They’re gone.. both of them. Kanae’s dead and (Y/n) left.. because of me.” Shinobu confessed, sobbing once again. Her eyes were already puffy from earlier but now they’re worse.

Everyone except Kanao started crying.

••••••••

Four years have passed since (Y/n) left the butterfly estate. She’s mastered total concentration breathing, and has slayed about 62 demons. Her crow has already declared her as a hashira and all that’s left is to make it official at the ubuyashki mansion.

She’s gotten stronger and way quicker. She’s very injured though because she never takes a break longer than two days, even if the fight was difficult.

Midnight always tells the unofficial hashira to take a break and return to the master, but (Y/n) knows she’ll run into Shinobu so she avoids it at all costs.

She makes sure to avoid the butterfly estate no matter what. She doesn’t want to see Shinobu. She misses the butterfly girls but she still holds onto the past. A part of her wanted to dislike Shinobu for telling her to leave but, the brunette couldn’t bring herself to dislike Shinobu.

After all, that night was the hardest for Shinobu. She knows Shinobu wasn’t thinking straight, but her words sounded so… real. (Y/n) couldn’t help but believe what Shinobu said.

Anyways now she has a new mission to do. Girls have mysteriously gone missing during the night. It’s already night when Moonlight informs her of the mission.

Supposedly there are two demons and a demon slayer is fighting already but it appears that they need help.

She runs to the direction where help is needed and arrives in twenty minutes. She see’s a girl fighting a demon with just kicks and fists. She joins in and soon realizes the girl is a demon. She’s confused but kills the male demon.

She’s surprised the demom girl doesn’t go straight for the humans behind them. She looks at her and see’s the demon girl has a scratch mark that’s bleeding. She’s not regenerating? She must be weak.

(I know this is not how it goes in the anime, so apologies)

A guy with a checkered haori comes out of a hole and see’s (Y/n) cut off the demon’s head cleanly and quickly. He’s amazed by, the way the brunette cut off the head so smoothly.

He watches as the demon slayer gets ready to swing her nichirin sword and he realizes she’s aiming for the demon girl. He gets in the way and stands between the two.

“Boy. Get out of my way.” (Y/n) warns. “No wait! She’s a good demon!” The guy shouted. She lifted an eyebrow in confusion.

“Listen, a demons a demon and it’s my job to kill them off.” She responded, raising her sword again. “Wait!!! She protects humans though! She see’s them as family and fights demons. She’s never eaten a human in her two years of being a demon.” He reasoned.

“I don’t believe it. What a bunch of hippie dippie baloney. Though, I guess it’s a possible answer to why she was fighting the demon earlier and didn’t target the humans. Either way you have no proof she doesn’t eat humans.” (Y/n) replied.

The guy is starting to sweat, “Trust me she will never eat a human. I joined the demon slayer corps to turn her back into human. She’s my sister!” he confessed.

“I have an idea! If she doesn’t eat humans then you don’t mind if I show my blood infront of her right?” (Y/n) stated.

The guy looks nervous but nods, “Anything to prove she won’t eat humans.” he said.

(Y/n) cuts her arm quickly, and ignores the pain. Nonetheless, she walks up to the demon girl and flaunts her blood infront. It was a lot of blood, any normal demon would try to pounce the brunette.

But the bamboo girl just tilted her head in confusion and turned her head away from the blood. Safe to say (Y/n) was shocked.

She cleaned her wound, “Well I never thought the day would come where there would be a ‘good’ demon. I wont kill your sister, but I’m technically going against the demon slayer corp. If you ever get caught, don’t bring me into this mess. What’s your name?”

“Tanjiro Kamado, and my sister is Nezuko Kamado.” Tanjiro answered. (Y/n) offered a handshake which the boy gladly accepted, “I’m (Y/n L/n).” she revealed.

“Good luck with your sister. Are you sure of this though? You might get killed if caught” (Y/n) asked a bit worried. “Yes! I’ll make sure they don’t lay a hand on her! Maybe, they will understand if I explain the situation!” Tanjiro beamed.

(Y/n) hummed out an unsure ‘ehh’.

Tanjiro turned around, “Nezuko ge.. oh” he stopped when seeing Nezuko was asleep. “Is she sleeping..? And did she just get smaller?” (Y/n) questioned.

“Yeah, she heals by sleeping since she doesn’t eat humans.” He answered (Y/n).

Tanjiro put his forehead against Nezuko’s, “I’m sorry. I failed to get any information, but just hang on. I promise you this, I will make you human again.” he said in a low voice.

He took out a box and was able to fit Nezuko inside. He stood up and went to the survivors while carrying the box on his back.

“Mr Kazumi.. are you alright?” Tanjiro asked softly.

“I lost my fiancee. How could I be alright?” He sobbed out. “Mr. Kazumi.. you have to go on, no matter what, in spite of losing people. Even though it’s devastating” Tanjiro advised kneeling down to him.

(Y/n) watched as Kazumi gripped onto Tanjiro’s collar shouting, “How ami I supposed to do that? You’re just a kid! What do you know!?”

Tanjiro didn’t mind and smiled pitifully while grabbing Kazumi’s hands softly. Kazumi flinched at the look Tanjiro gave him, it was so.. kind and soft.

Tanjiro stood up and gave him a piece of cloth, “Here. Hopefully you’ll find something of Miss Satoko’s in there.”

Kazumi weeped in shock as he opened the cloth up and saw his fiancee’s ribbon. He gasped in realization as Tanjiro was walking away. “I-I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have said that! Please forgive me! I’m so sorry.” He shouted, apologizing.

Tanjiro turned around, waving goodbye and walked up to (Y/n). She was getting ready to leave. They went the same direction and were about to separate.

When, both their crows came, “HEAD TO ASAKUSA, TOKYO NOW!! RUMOR HAS it A DEMON IS LURKING THERE!” they shouted simultaneously.

(Y/n) groaned, “I better not get caught traveling with a demon while we are on this mission together.” she huffed out.

Meanwhile Tanjiro complained a bit, “I’ve got another mission already?”

“Yes you do!” His crow replied

“Can’t I take a break first?” He asked and his crows said no.

He turned to (Y/n) and smilied, “Y/n)-san! Can you teach me how to be as strong as you??” Tanjiro asked happily.

“Uhh I don’t know how to train someone. I just never take breaks and I somehow get stronger from that. I’m pretty sure I have a lot of broken parts in my body that haven’t fully healed.” She revealed.

Tanjiro looked at her in shock with a jaw open. “You need to heal!” He cried out. The brunette just shook her head and they chatted along the way. (Y/n) would soon get close to him and his sister.

•••••••

The trio had been through quite a lot together. They saw Muzan Kibutsuji together which he ran away cowardly. Then, they found more good demons, Yuishiro and Lady Tamayo who only drink blood by buying them.

Then some demons pulled up when they were with Tamayo and Yuishiro during it (Y/n) got injured really badly so she couldn’t help and it was up to Tanjiro.

One of the demons had the power of something to do with arrows. As she fought him he hit her in the ribs which were already broken so it was extremely painful now. She couldn’t get up and was treated by Lady Tamayo after the whole thing was over.

They all witnessed the horror when seeing what happened when a demon uttered Muzan Kibutsuji’s name. It was a horrible sight to see, and it upset (Y/n). She grew a hatred for Muzan even more and promised to get stronger.

Tamayo tasked both of them with a mission to collect demon blood and return it to her for tests. They both agreed to the mission and have collected blood ever since.

After they left, the trio (well duo ig since Nezuko is in the box) encountered a boy screaming at a girl to marry him. They interrupted the ‘couple’ and then the boy started going after (Y/n) who rejected him multiple times.

He had orange/yellow hair. Had an orange haori with many patterns of small white triangle on it. His Nichirin sword cover was orange and the handle was white and a bit yellow.

They learned his name, which was Zenitsu Agatsuma. He ended up joining the duo that was on the way to another mission. They had a mission in a mansion and there they made a new hothead friend Inosuke, Hashibara.

He was dumb but very competitive. (Y/n) liked his attitude and fighting spirit to get stronger. He listened and respected her the most seeing her strength and the way she treated him.

They’re all a handful together but she doesn’t mind. She grew to like all of them including Nezuko. Her least favorite though would be Zenitsu.

Right now they’re all resting in a wisteria house after defeating the demons in the big confusing house. They’re all laying down on the futons just talking to each other.

They were talking why they’re demon slayers until Zenitsu asked, “Hey, Tanjiro and (Y/n). There’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you both. You’re traveling with a demon. What is that about?”

Tanjiro laid up from the futon, “Zenitsu, you knew and you still protected the box. You really are a good person. You know that? Thank you.” Tanjiro said softly. Referring to earlier when they left the demon mansion thing. (Y/n) and Tanjiro got out and saw Zenitsu protecting the box from Inosuke.

Zenitsu blushed in embarrassment rolling around in his futon with a pillow, “Well, you don’t have to compliment me like that.” he giggled out.

Tanjiro pointed to his nose, “I have a very keen sense of smell. That’s how I knew from the start that you’ve a very kind person, strong too.” he finished.

“And annoying and can’t forget the pervert part” (Y/n) added. Zenitsu ignored (Y/n) and continued chatting with Tanjiro.

Until rustling was heard from the box that contained Nezuko. (Y/n) perked up at this and stood up to walk towards the box. She kneed infront of it, while Zenitsu freaked out as Tanjiro tried to calm him down.

The box door opened up and Zenitsu freaked out more. “AHH IS IT COMING TO GET US NOW? SOMEONE PROTECT ME. (Y/N)- NO INOSUKE EVEN YOULL DO.” Zenitsu screamed running to Inosuke after seeing (Y/n) was infront of the box.

Inosuke kicked Zenitsu’s face, “Stay away from me!” he said as Zenitsu was thrown infront of the box where (Y/n) was. He squealed after the box fully opened while the unofficial hashira got closer.

The orange boy scrambled to his feet and opened something to hide inside of it. Then Nezuko popped out and immediately got hugged by (Y/n) who gave her headpats.

“Hi Nezuko” the brunette greeted smiling along with Tanjiro. Nezuko grew in size under (Y/n)’s arms. The older girl let go of Nezuko as Zenitsu stared at Nezuko in confusion and disbelief.

“I’ll introduce you, Nezuko.” “Tanjiro. You didn’t. Tell me you didn’t. Just who do you think you are!?” Zenitsu said interrupting Tanjiro.

Zenitsu continued ranting and yapping as he was starting to pull out his sword. He raised it at Tanjiro but was stopped by (Y/n) who knocked him out with a swift chop.

“Can we just go to sleep already.?” She asked yawning. Tanjiro thanked (Y/n) and told Nezuko to decide what she wanted to do.

They all laid down and left Zenitsu where he was. Nezuko laid on the floor filling the space between Tanjiro and (Y/n). They fell asleep peacefully not knowing what would happen soon on a certain mission that’d come in a two days.

••••••

It was time to leave the wisteria crest house and go on their mission. The whole group was called for a mission to Mount Natagamo. They all felt fresh, having eaten good and their clothes all washed up.

They were all running to the direction their crows all pointed them to. Tanjiro started to speed up after Inosuke was insulting the pld lady that took care of all of them.

Inosuke saw it as a race and sped up to leaving (Y/n) and Zenitsu behind. “It’s just you and me (Y/n). Would you be my girlfriend?” Zenitsu asked again for the 8th time with hearts in his eyes.

“HELL NO. How many times do I have to say it. I’m too old for you! And I don’t like you that way at all whatsoever.” (Y/n) shouted, and started to run faster.

“Wait no! Guys don’t leave me here, wait up!!” Zenitsu whined.

When they were all near their destination Zenitsu suddenly stopped, “Everyone. We need to pause here” he started.

“Zenitsu, what’s wrong?” Tanjiro asked worried for the orange boy. “I’m nervous okay! Now that we’re nearing out destination. I’m getting scared!” The triangle haori boy continued.

“Why the hell is sitting like that? It’s pretty weird, if you ask me” Commented Inosuke. “How did you even make it this far, you coward?” (Y/n) asked feeling embarrassed she’s been traveling with him.

“Who are you to talk to me about weird!?” Zenitsu shouted, firing back. “You can’t tell me you’re not getting any spooky vibes from that mountain.” he added.

Everyone turned to look at the mountain and did get a little scared by it. “Even so, we can’t exactly just wait here.” Tanjiro reminded.

After a bit of back and forth, Tanjiro was hit with a strange smell. He started running towards the smell. After Tanjiro caught up he saw a a demon slayer on the ground who looked up, “Help, help me please” he said before getting pulled up to the sky back into to forest in the mountain.

“Look at his uniform! He’s one of us” Tanjiro pointed out.

“They were attached to me too! Please. Don’t let me die here!” The boy shouted in fear. (Y/n) jumped up high and cut the strings connected to boy. The group watched in amazement as she caught him.

She put him down on ground and patted his back. “There. Run away from here. There’s a wisteria crest house near here, go rest there. You’re injured.” She informed.

“Th-Thank you! Please, save everyone else in there too!” He thanked and started to run. Everyone felt a presence that had a crazy amount of bloodlust.

Everyone besides the brunette got chills at the sudden bloodlust. Zenitsu whimpered in fear, and Tanjiro clenched his fist, “I’m going in.” He said

Inosuke shoved him with his shoulder and walked ahead. “I’ll head in first. You stay behind me trembling like a scared little animal” the boar said proudly. “This is making me hungry” he muttered after.

“That’s the spirit! Come on we have people to save!” The strongest out of all them said smirking. She ran ahead of them, entering.

“Why is he such a show-off?” Zenitsu asked, shaking. “Let’s go!” Inosuke shouted running after the brunette and Tanjiro followed behind. They all left Zenitsu by himself, shaking.

•••••

Everyone was having their own battles. (Y/n) went her own way, and the last time she saw them Inosuke and Tanjiro were together which was 40 minutes ago. The thing is, the brunette’s been hiding something.

She’s been in pain all this time but was holding it in not wanting to give up. All of her injuries were starting to catch up with her and she was slowing down a bit.

Her broken rib was still painful from when that arrow demon hit her. And both her feet were sprained really badly. If the girl had taken rests like she was supposed to then she would be way stronger and faster.

She’s been relying on recovery breathing but that isn’t enough. Rests were important too. She didn’t know but her arm had was also dislocated. Running all the way from the crest wisteria house to here, really tired her out.

Her legs shook with every step she took. She felt useless because she hasn’t spotted a single demon. How much time have I wasted? I can barely walk! Everyone is out their risking their lives and I haven’t beheaded a single demon. I’m weak! I’m usueless, the girl thought in her head.

She heard a battle going on and ran to it despite her being in pain. Finally! I can help out.

Once she arrived, she saw Nezuko bleeding and being help up from the trees by cobwebs. Tanjiro was laying on the ground, being surrounded by red webs. (Y/n) ran faster and cut through the webs with ease before they reached Tanjiro.

She saw another demon slayer arrive as she cut through the webs. He was a hashira, she could tell. She ran to Tanjiro instead of the demon knowing the hashira would take care of the demon.

“Tanjiro! Can you walk?” She asked. Tanjiro stayed silent and was looking past her. She turned around to see what he was staring at.

The duo watched as the hashira with the mismatch haori battled the demon. “Total concentration. Water breathing. 11th form… dead calm.” he said standing still.

The red cobwebs were immediately destroyed. The difference in strength was massive. The next second Tanjiro saw the demon’s head sliced off already.

In the brunettes point of view she was able to see the whole thing and see how fast the hashira moved to slice the head off. She wasn’t all that impressed, she knew she could also behead the demon but she was mostly worried for Tanjiro and Nezuko.

Tanjiro crawled over to Nezuko as (Y/n) followed close behind. Even after being beheaded the demon walked slowly to the trio. He fell near the trio slowly turning into ashes.

Tanjiro reached over and laid his hand on top of the demon’s clothes feeling sorry for the demon.

The hashira stood on top of the demon’s clothes, “Don’t waste your sympathy, it was a demon. The fact it looked like a child makes no difference. It lived for decades, terrorizing our people.” the mismatch haori spoke in a calm blank manner.

“If it’s for the sake of avenging those who were killed. To make sure there are no more victims, I won’t hesitate to bring my blade down on any demon’s neck. But when it comes to those who felt despair and regret from the actions they took as a demon. I will never disrespect them!” Tanjiro started.

“Because at one time or another.. they were human, no different from me! So please don’t step on his remains.” The demon slayer finished, with tears out of his eyes.

(Y/n) watched the whole thing, staying silent. She saw the hashira’s eyes widen as if in realization or something. Did Tanjiro’s words really make an impact to him?? She wondered.

All of a sudden (Y/n) felt someone coming from behind Tanjiro. She immediately moved behind him and unsheathed her sword. She clashed swords with the person and so who it was. The other hashira was also getting ready to block the attack but (Y/n) was faster.

The attacker and (Y/n)’s eyes widened upon seeing each other. Adrenaline started to run through (Y/n)’s body immediately upon seeing the girl she last saw four years ago. She looked beautiful, but there something different.. she looked fake.? She recognized the familiar haori the attacker wore.

“(Y/n) is that you? Oh my!” was the first thing the attacker said as she spun on the ground.

“I haven’t seen you in forever and this is how we start?Why would you both get in my way, (Y/n) and Tomioka?” She asked trying to act calm, looking at (Y/n) directly.

“And after you told me we could never be friends with demons, I have to say. This kind of the is exactly why no one likes you.” she continued, this time looking at Tomioka.

“(Y/n) you know her?” Tanjiro asked, facing (Y/n). He could smell fear, sadness, and happiness altogether coming from the brunette. While he started to smell a bit of anger but mostly happiness and surprise coming from the new girl.

“Y-yes. Her name is Shinobu Kocho..” (Y/n) responded slowly. She could not take her eyes off the butterfly girl. She’s missed her for so long, memories started to come back flooding in. What am I doing!? Stop looking at her! (Y/n) told herself.

It was hard but she slowly turned away from the short girl and looked towards Tanjiro. He could tell she was nervous.

“Now then, Tomioka and (Y/n) would you please move?” Shinobu finished. The brunette stayed silent while Tomioka started to move his mouth.

“I don’t- I don’t think I’m disliked” he said. Tanjiro gasped in disbelief. (Y/n) was trying so hard to not look up.

“Oh, dear. I do apologize. You’re only just hearing about this now. Then? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to find out this way.” Shinobu informed. (Y/n) rolled her eyes at the bickering coming from the two hashira.

“Boy!” Shinobu called out to Tanjiro. “Yes, ma’am!” He responded. “What you’re protecting there is actually a demon. So please move away before you get hurt.” She informed him.

“No, you’re mistaken! Well, you’re not mistaken, but she’s my little sister! She’s my sister and that’s why-!” He shouted. (Y/n) finally looked up, getting over her nerves. The adrenaline was still running through her but she needed to protect the siblings.

Her eyebrows furrowed as she saw the girl she used to know acting sorry, “Oh, my. Is that really true?” The insect hashira acted bringing a hand up to her mouth.

“You poor thing. In that case, so she doesn’t suffer, I’ll use a gentle toxin in order to kill her.” She finished, bringing her sword to her face.

“Tanjiro-kun, can you move?” (Y/n) asked, ignoring Shinobu’s threat. “Even if it’s difficult, you need to go. Take your sister, and run. Girl. Protect them too.” Tomioka instructed.

“No need to tell me. I was planning to protect them either way.” (Y/n) replied. Her response made Shinobu’s eyebrow twitch. It’s been so long since she’s the girl and she’s protecting demons now? After their mentor was brutally killed by one..?

Shinobu was enraged and Tanjiro could smell it. He was terrified, he knew she was powerful already but now she was also mad, AT HIM AND (Y/N)? He was shivering.

Despite his fear, Tanjiro stood up and (Y/n) picked up Nezuko in bridal style. They ran, and from behind the brunette could hear Shinobu, “Did you.. just break the rule of the corps?”

Ahead as they ran, they saw Nezuko’s box. Tanjiro picked it up and continued on. (Y/n)’s feet were starting to burn and she felt a cramp starting to form soon. Then, she saw Nezuko waking up slowly.

“Does this mean, we’re going to have to leave the demon slayer corps?” Tanjiro asked between breaths. “No. Worse, probably death.” (Y/n) replied calmly.

“Huh? How.. are.. you so calm?” He asked gasping for air. “Because I’ve been knowing this. And stop talking you need to have air in your system. Believe it or not but I’m in so much pain right now. My leg is cramping up and I have so many broken parts.” She stated trying to say it normally.

From behind (Y/n) heard someone on the trees. “Tanjiro. There’s someone behind us on the trees. They’re jumping from tree to tree. I know you’re in no state to fight so I think you should continue running. Carry Nezuko for right now and I’ll fight them.” (Y/n) whispered.

The boy nodded and carried Nezuko and ran a bit slower. The brunette turned around and saw the person jumping down. Once again adrenaline started to run.

The person was short, was wearing a long demon corp skirt. She had a Kanae’s butterfly clip on her hair. And, had bangs. The last time she saw the girl, she was smaller but now she’s taller.

It was Kanao. She saw Kanao’s eyes widen in shock but nonetheless the familiar person did not make her stop her task. Meanwhile (Y/n) didn’t raise her sword like she was supposed to. She didn’t want to fight the younger girl. So she watched as Kanao landed on Tanjiro’s back.

As Tanjiro threw Nezuko and made Kanao fall on top of him before she got the chance to slice his sister’s head off. She knocked him out with a swift kick and ran up to Nezuko.

She swung her sword to hit Nezuko but the demon, shrunk in size. That was when (Y/n) came back to reality.

Since (Y/n) didn’t want to fight the younger girl, so she grabbed Nezuko quickly and ran faster than ever. The adrenaline was helping a lot.

They kept on running when (Y/n) got another cramp on her other leg and fell.

Kanao was about to slash Nezuko until the crows shouted for the kamado siblings to be brought into headquarters.

She questioned if that was Nezuko and (Y/n) confirmed it was.

After confirming (Y/n) laid on the floor with arms spread out. She sighed as she raised her legs with cramps to make them go away.

Nezuko helped her out by grabbing a leg and stretching it.

None of them knew but Shinobu was making her way over here running as fast as she could. She didn’t want (Y/n) to leave again. She’s waited so long to see her again.

After (Y/n)’s cramps were gone she stood up and stretched feeling better. She started walking with Nezuko to where the crows started to lead them.

She carried Nezuko on her shoulders. The brunette got so close to the demon girl she started to view her as a little sister. She’d never tell anyone though but through her actions people can notice.

She felt awkward walking infront of Kanao. She heard someone running behind her and turned around. She saw Shinobu from afar and her eyes widened.

Nezuko could tell (Y/n) started to feel nervous. Nezuko patted the brunette’s head thinking it’d calm her down.

Oh gosh. Should I make a run for it? This is going to he so awkward (Y/n) stood frozen deciding what to do. She turned around quickly and made a run for it. She knew it was immature but she really did not want to see Shinobu after all that’s happened.

She heard Kanao start running too and tried speeding up but the brunette couldn’t. Nezuko looked back and forth deciding what to do. She got off (Y/n)’s shoulders making (Y/n) stop.

(Y/n) tried picking her up but Nezuko made herself big again and hugged the brunette so she wouldn’t run away. (Y/n) sighed softly, understanding Nezuko as they walked.

Shinobu caught up to them and was going to talk (Y/n) but all of a sudden her throat felt dry and was nervous. Memories came back flooding in. She whispered with Kanao and (Y/n) could hear a bit of what they were saying.

She sighed and walked nervously to the kakashi that had found Nezuko’s box. Upon seeing the demon they got scared, so (Y/n) grabbed it and told Nezuko get inside.

Nezuko shrinked and entered. Before closing (Y/n) smiled at her softly, “You did good today Nezuko” she said headpatting her.

She put the box on her back and walked forward. She had no idea but behind her was Shinobu fuming in anger silently.

The brunette saw a kakashi carrying Tanjiro so she tried running up to him. Shinobu thought she was going to run away so she also dashed up to (Y/n) and knocked her out.

She then looked ahead and saw Tanjiro. Oops! She was probably running to check up on him.

She was going to order a kakushi to pick up the brunette but realized this was her chance! So she gladly took off Nezuko from (Y/n) and carried the girl. She took in her scent and felt at peace for the first time in awhile.

Kanao watched the whole thing happen and was confused. She had never seen her sister act like this before.

••••

Tanjiro and (Y/n) were both awaken by a kakashi. They woke up at the same time and the brunette felt fear start pooling at the bottom of her core. After seeing who was infront of her.

“Holy shit… Tanjiro let’s just say goodbye to this world now already. We’re cooked” she whispered only for Tanjiro to hear, but everyone had already heard.

“Why? Who are these people? Where are we?” The poor boy was confused why (Y/n) was so scared. Yeah, there’s a lot of people but what’s so special about them? He wondered.

The brunette’s jaw dropped in shock before answering his question, “We’re infront of the hashira! The most powerful demon slayers! And we are in the demon slayer corp headquarters to hold a trial!” She whispered shouted.

“So?” was the reply. (Y/n) was ready to tweak any moment now. Not only did he commit a crime, but he’s disrespecting the hashira. They were both done for.

“Tsk… all we get is a so? Let’s start this trial already!” Tengen commented. (Y/n)’s face turned pale after realizing they all heard the conversation. She was so not making another day in this life.

“There is no need for a trial! Let’s just execute them now!” Rengoku said loudly. Tanjiro ignored all of them and looked around, “Where’s Nezuko?” He asked. “I don’t know where they put her. I’m sure they’ll bring her out soon for the trial though.” (Y/n) reassured him.

“Forget that.. what are we going to do about that girl and Tomioka? They should be tied up. Seeing them standing with no restraints is upsetting me.” A guy from the tree said, joining the conversation, catching the duo’s attention.

“Oh I’m sure it’s fine. Tomioka came here with no resistance and so did (Y/n). We’ll come up with a penalty later. What I’m more interested in is hearing this boys story.” Shinobu spoke up. (Y/n) tried playing it cool by not looking at her area at all.

“Despite being a demon slayer, he’s been traveling with a demon at his side. He even has (Y/n) on his side, protecting him. I’d like to hear both of their explanations.

So tell me, why are you guys traveling with a demon? You are aware it’s against the rules.. right?” The insect hashira asked.

The sound hashira looked fed up and started to grab his swords, “Ughh who cares why?” he groaned out.

“You can take your time. Just tell us why” the short woman added.

Tanjiro gulped and calmed his nerves. (Y/n) looked at him worriedly she wasn’t sure if they’d spare him after hearing his story. No one would a believe a demon that doesn’t eat humans, exists.

“She’s my… she’s my young-” he choked out barely. Shinobu took out a small gourd and gave it to him to drink. (Y/n) stared at Tanjiro but could feel Shinobu’s gaze on her. She did her best to not make eye contact.

After drinking up Tanjiro tried speaking again, “She’s my little sister. While I was gone, my family was attacked by a demon. When I came back my sister was turned into one! She’s never eaten anyone and never will. Nor has she hurt a human.”

The hashira in the tree cut off Tanjiro, “Enough. It’s no wonder you’re protecting her. She’s your little sister. I don’t believe you at all.”

Next the blind, crying hashira gave his opinion, “Let us kill this poor child to end his suffering. He’s been possessed by a demon.”

“Please listen! I became a demon slayer to find a cure for my sister. It’s been two years that Nezuko has been a demon and she hasn’t hurt anyone” Tanjiro pleaded.

“Your story isn’t flashy. She hasn’t devoured anyone and isn’t going to? If you’re going to plead your case then please make try making it interesting” Tengen said, not believing a single word Tanjiro spoke.

Mitsuri was thinking hard and realized something. She had waited for Tengen to stop talking for her to talk too, “Excuse me? I do have my doubts, you know. I just can’t imagine the Master being in the dark about this situation” the pink haired mentioned.

She had a point, so the two hashira beside her were puzzled on what to respond with. “Do you really think it’s okay to deal with him without his permission?” She added, once again leaving the two male hashira’s silent.

“I think we should wait until he arrives” she finished. “Well..I guess you’re right” Tengen agreed. (Y/n) sighed in relief, glad they wouldn’t do anything yet.

“My sister… My sister will fight with me by my side! She can fight as a demon slayer, just give her a chance!” Tanjiro said, trying to convince them.

“Well, well I can see you guys are brewing some fun. Is that the idiot traitor slayer who has a demon with him?” a voice was heard. Everyone turned their heads and saw Sanemi holding a box, Nezuko’s box.

(Y/n) and Tanjiro’s eyes widened, sensing his anger. “Just what the hell are you trying to pull here?” The wind hashira asked.

“I ask of you to put that box down!” (Y/n) finally spoke, tryng to act calmly.

“Shut up! I don’t want to hear shit from you. You’re a high level demon slayer, yet you still decided to betray the corps by helping this idiot with the evil demon.” Sanemi fired to (Y/n).

“Shinazugawa, please don’t act out of line.” Shinobu commented joining in. He ignored Shinobu’s comment and continued glaring at the duo.

“What did you say about that demon, kid? That she can fight as a Demon Slayer to protect humans? You know what we call that? A total delusion, you moron!” He said, cackling deviously as he stabbed Nezuko.

This angered the duo, they both stood up and tried running to the hashira. Tanjiro made it but (Y/n) was caught by Shinobu.

“Anyone who hurts my sister… Hashira or not, I won’t let you get away with it!” Tanjiro shouted, clearly angered as well. Sanemi laughed in his face as he swiped his sword through the air to get rid of the blood.

“Well how very good for you!” The wind hashira cackled out. This upset (Y/n) and Tanjiro even more. In that moment, the usually calm (Y/n) who doesn’t harm others besides demons grew a hatred for the man. So much that she lost respect for him as a hashira.

Tomioka created a distraction by butting in, “Cease this! The master will be arriving shortly!” he shouted.

As Tanjiro yelled, (Y/n) freed herself from Shinobu. Sanemi swung his sword at Tanjiro, who dodged by jumping high.

Meanwhile (Y/n) was able to get behind the man to punch him. Everyone was caught off guard by the girl’s speed. They didn’t realize she had reached him from behind, they had all been distracted by Tanjiro.

Tanjiro was able to headbutt Sanemi on his nose and (Y/n) was able to land a hit on Sanemi’s back. Tanjiro landed on the ground and Sanemi also fell. (Y/n) was the only one left standing.

She immediately jumped to Nezuko’s box and stood infront of it. Tanjiro rushed up and also stood by it.

Mitsuri couldn’t help but laugh at the whole thing, “pardon me” she stifled her giggle as the hashira stared at her in disbelief.

“Damn you both!” Sanemi muttered out in the pebbles, embarrassed he got teamed on. “If you can’t tell the difference between good demons and bad, you should just quit being a Hashira!” Tanjiro stated.

“I don’t agree with that statement, but don’t you ever lay your hands on Nezuko!” (Y/n) said angrily, gritting her teeth.

Sanemi stood up, grabbing his sword, “Fuck this. I’ll destroy you two!” he threatened as he pointed his sword to both of them. They were all interrupted by a voice, “The Master has arrived”.

Out walked a man being supported by two girls, “So good of you to come… my beloved children” he said stepping onto the veranda.

He greeted everyone in such a calm tone. It immediately calmed (Y/n) down. She was brought back to her senses and realized what she had just done. Her and Tanjiro were so not going to live after this trial.

Everyone except Tanjiro kneeled down. Tanjiro is slammed down harshly to the ground. “I am pleased to see you in good health as well, Master. I fervently pray for your continued good fortune..” Sanemi said being respectful and calm.

“Thank you, Sanemi” the master thanked. Sanemi continued, “If I may, Master… Before we start the Hashira Meeting, would you mind enlightening us about this swordsman, Tanjirou Kamado, accompanied by a demon?” the switch up was crazy. Just a minute ago he was acting like a complete douche and now he’s all formal and a gentleman.

“Right. I apologize for startling you all. As for Tanjirou and Nezuko, I’ve sanctioned their situation. And I’d also like you all to accept it.” He answered Sanemi, shocking everyone at his response.

Everyone had mixed responses, that they weren’t afraid to make known. After mostly everyone gave their opinion the master spoke, “The letter.”

One of the girls pulled out a folded letter sent by Urokodaki. The whole letter, informed every one of Nezuko’s story, how she hasn’t eaten a human and why. Towards the end it informed everyone that Tanjiro, Urokodaki and Tomioka would do suicide if Nezuko ever eats a human.

Tanjiro cried in relief when the master said he was sparing Nezuko.

“(Y/n), you are a demon slayer. Why didn’t you slay these demons like all the other ones?” Kagaya asked calling upon (Y/n).

“I was given a mission, and when I arrived. Nezuko was fighting a demon, I joined in the fight and killed the other demon. After killing the other demon, Nezuko did not go for the two humans behind us which confused me. I also saw she wasn’t regenerating. I was going to kill her but Tanjiro stopped me.

He explained his story and I didn’t believe it but the fact she didn’t go for the humans made me think twice. I cut my arm, and lots of blood came out.

I tried waving my arm closer to her face to get a reaction.. but instead of pouncing on me she just looked at me in confusion and turned her head away. After that I’ve been fighting with them and not once has she attempted to harm a human” Y/n) stated calmly.

“Do you also believe she’ll never cause harm to a human?” The master asked.

“Yes, I firmly believe in Nezuko” Y/n) stated. “So much that you’ll also commit seppuku along with Tanjiro Kamado, Giyuu Tomioka, and Sakonji Urokodaki if she were ever to eat a human?”

The old (Y/n) would have never believed she’d grow up to befriending a demon. So much that she’s willing to put her life on the line for one. Ever since she joined a mission with Tanjiro she had started to grow fond of him.

Without realizing, she even slowly started viewing Nezuko as her own sister. It always brought her joy fighting alongside the Kamados.

So without a second thought, “Yes. I’ll commit seppuku if she were to ever eat a human” the brunette answered seriously. Shinobu’s eyes widened at this, she clenched her fists silently.

Sanemi had enough of this, “So what if they commit Seppuku? If they wish to die, then they can rot for all I care. It’s not guaranteed she wont hurt a human!” he said upset.

Kagaya saw from his point of view, “you do have a point.” he agreed.

“We can’t guarantee that she won’t attack humans. We can’t prove it. That being said.. we also can’t prove she’ll attack humans.” He said wisely.

Sanemi grunts at his response. Kagaya mentioned how four people were willing to commit Seppuku for Nezuko was surprising, so she must be special. And, how the people that disagree need to provide evidence that she’ll fail.

What Kagaya said next sent shivers down everyone’s spine, “Also, there’s something I’d like to relay to you, my children. Tanjiro, and (Y/n) here have crossed paths with Kibutsuji..”

Every hashira gasped in shock, they couldn’t believe it! Not even one hashira has ever crossed paths with him.

“These two chumps have crossed paths with him!? How did he look!? What were his powers!?” Tengen asked loudly, in shock.

There were lots of questions coming out at once, directed to the duo. Sanemi was shaking Tanjiro’s head as he asked. All questions were stopped when Kagaya put a finger over his lips.

Kagaya announces how Kibutsuji sent demons after Tanjiro to silence him. He believes something is happening to Nezuko, Muzan never saw coming. After saying this he asked, “Can you guys try to understand?”

Sanemi was upset but didn’t want to be disrespectful, “No, I can’t understand, Master. If it were human, I’d be okay with letting it live, but not a demon! Not after all that we Demon Slayers have gone through in battle! Not after so many people have lost their lives! It’s.. unacceptable!” he declared.

Sanemi cut his arm the same way (Y/n) did, “Master! I will prove to you right here and now. The ugliness of a demon!” he shouted.

He let the blood seep into the hole he made earlier when he stabbed the box. Everyone watched him do all of this while (Y/n) was cursing him out in her head. She was a bit worried for Nezuko because Sanemi’s blood was different.

To demon’s eating his type of blood counts as eating fifty normal humans. They go crazy for people with this type of blood and don’t think straight.

“No need to force yourself to hold back. Just show us your true colors, and I’ll obliterate you right here!” The wind hashira shouted. Tanjiro called worriedly for Nezuko.

The serpent hashira reminded Sanemi the demon wouldn’t come out in the sun. Sanemi apologized for the mess he was making as he jumped to the shade, throwing Nezuko’s box. Once again he stabbed the box angering (Y/n) and Tanjiro.

“Leave her alone!” (Y/n) and Tanjiro shouted. She saw how Iguro tried to elbow her back and dodged it. Seeing how he missed he decided to aim for Tanjiro.

(Y/n) was going to stop Sanemi, but realized Nezuko needed to prove herself so she stopped in her tracks.

“Come on out, demon!” Sanemi shouted stabbing the box continuously. (Y/n) grunted in anger everytime he did so. She so badly wanted to go up there and wipe the smirk off his face but she couldn’t. They were already on thin ice, anything else and they’d be extra cooked.

Everyone watched as Nezuko came out of the box grunted and making weird sounds. Tanjiro was struggling trying to remove himself from the restraints he was put in.

Even Shinobu felt bad and asked for Obanai to ease up on the poor boy. He kept on putting pressure because Tanjiro kept on moving.

“Kamado, if you use any breathing techniques while your lungs are being squeezed, your veins will burst.” The insect hashira warned the struggling boy. Despite this Tanjiro yelled and was able to break free from his restraints.

Tomioka stepped up and grabbed Iguro’s arm who tried restraining Tanjiro again. “That’s enough” he spoke. Tanjiro ran up towards Sanemi and Nezuko, “Nezuko!” he shouted trying to get her attention.

Turns out it worked because after a few more seconds, the foaming demon girl turned her head away in disgust, shocking everyone. Kagaya was informed of what happened and counted this as evidence Nezuko wouldn’t eat humans.

Tanjiro was congratulated and was told to try and prove everyone wrong about Nezuko. Tanjiro got a little too carried away saying, “Me and Nezuko will defeat Muzan Kibutsuji!” and was humbled by the master.

Shinobu and Misturi giggled while (Y/n) face palmed her face in embarrassment for the boy. Kagaya started talking about Hashira and how they’re very respected.

He told Tanjiro to have manners when with the hashira again then he turned his attention to (Y/n), “Speaking of hashiras. There’s been a demon slayer that has killed over 50 demons already. She’s been a ‘hashira’ for a year already but just made her presence today. (Y/n L/n) you are now officially the flower hashira.” the master announced.

Everyone was shocked by the sudden announcement, “You.. You’re a hashira (Y/n)-san?” Tanjiro asked. (Y/n)’s face was red forgetting that she still hadn’t made it official.

“Thank you master. I’m honered” She responded nervously. In all honesty, she did not feel like a hashira. She still felt like all of them were more powerful than her. She didn’t feel fully worthy of being called a hashira.

After (Y/n) was announced hashira, Kagaya bid Tanjiro and Nezuko a farewell. Shinobu volunteered to take care of Tanjiro, and (Y/n) at her estate. (Y/n) was going to disagree but the master had already accepted.

Kakashi came to grab Tanjiro and Nezuko but the one assigned to take Nezuko got scared. (Y/n) stood up and asked if they wanted help which they gladly accepted.

Nezuko’s eyes lit up upon seeing (Y/n) and the younger was given a headpat by the latter. They all started to leave to the butterfly mansion but came back apologizing because Tanjiro had ran away and caused a small commotion.

•••

They were currently at the garden, since no one was at the front door. Kanao was seen standing in the middle of a group of butterflies. “Hi.. Kanao” (Y/n) greeted finally gathering the courage to.

Kanao turned to the hashira, ignoring the two kakashi’s and Tanjiro. She walked towards (Y/n) and hugged her. (Y/n) hugged back smiling softly. She missed Kanao, Aoi, and the triplets. She misssed everyone, but the thought of seeing Shinobu scared her so never visited.

“Why.. why didn’t you leave a letter..?” Kanao asked, still hugging the girl tightly. “I’m sorry, I should have.” (Y/n) said regretting the fact she didn’t bid a goodbye to the girls when she left.

Tanjiro and the kakashi’s were confused but let the girls have their moment. “Who are you guys!?” an annoyed voice spoke, which (Y/n) immediately recognized.

She broke apart the hug with Kanao and turned around, “If you brought an injured person then follow me..” the blue girl spoke as her voice got lower as she saw the brunette.

The blue butterfly was stunned upon seeing (Y/n), “Well your tone of voice still hasn’t changed!” The hashira said laughing awkwardly to break the silence.

“(Y/n)-sama..?” Aoi mumbled out. “(Y/n)-sama!” She said again sounding more upset now. She marched up to the older girl, and stuck her finger in her face.

“You can’t just come here like as if it’s normal! Why didn’t you talk to us before you left!? Do you know how much I missed you?? Do you know.. how much Shinobu-sama missed you!?” Aoi spat out quickly with tears coming out her eyes.

“Uhh.. are you mad or sad.. I’m confused?” The flower girl asked dumbfounded. “You idiot!” Aoi insulted. It was now her turn to hug (Y/n). The brunette gladly accepted the hug.

Everyone just stayed silent again waiting for this to be over with. “Okay I would love to catch up, but Tanjiro here is very injured.” The hashira reminded, breaking the hug.

Aoi nodded and lead the everyone into the infirmary room. Inside was the rest of the group, Inosuke, and Zenitsu.

Zenitsu looked.. smaller? And Insouke was very quiet which wasn’t like him. Zenitsu was complaining about the medicine he was assigned. Aoi was getting more frustrated each second that passed by Zenitsu’s shouting and complaining.

“Shut up! You’re still making a commotion!? How many times do I have to explain! That is your medicine! And if you don’t take it then we’ll force you!” She shouted, clearly ticked off.

Zenitsu jumped from her shouting and turned to Tanjiro. He cried what he’s been through and how Aoi’s been treating him. As they caught up, the brunette talked to Aoi.

“Sooo.. where is Nezuko going to be?”

“Who?”

“Nezuko! She’s a demon that doesn’t eat humans!” (Y/n) stated calmly as if it was normal. Aoi’s face turned pale, “A demon!?” She asked making sure she heard right.

(Y/n) hummed a short ‘mhm!’

“Uhh.. I guess she can take this room, follow me”

The hashira followed the blue butterfly clipped girl with Nezuko’s box. They stopped at a room that had curtains and a bed. Aoi left (Y/n) alone after that. The room looked pretty empty. The brunette placed down Nezuko’s box and closed the curtains.

She opened Nezuko’s box and she came out. To (Y/n)’s surprise, the girl was awake. She assumed the demon to be asleep for healing but she wasn’t. Maybe she had a lot of energy. She watched as Nezuko turned bigger.

She played with Nezuko and just yapped to her even though the Kamado couldn’t reply back. Their time was interrupted when the door opened. The brunette saw a small foot enter the room.

Then one by one three girls entered the room. She saw they had tears in their eyes and at once they all ran to her. They squashed (Y/n) hugging her tightly.

“Ack! Girls! I missed you too but not so hard on my ribs!” (Y/n) choked out.

“What if you try to escape again!?” They shouted simultaneously.

(Y/n) lifted their heads and kissed them each on their foreheads, “I won’t” not for now at least she thought in her head.

She took a good look at Kiyo, Sumi, and Naho noticing how much they’ve changed after four years, “You guys have gotten taller! And stronger!” the older girl pointed out.

They all giggled, “Soon, you’ll catch up to me! Can’t let that happen now can I?” (Y/n) joked.

“(Y/n)-san who’s that?” Sumi asked referring to Nezuko. The demon had shrunken back to a small girl.

“This is Nezuko-chan! She’s very kind, but can’t talk. Please don’t get scared but she’s a demon. She’s a good demon though! She protects people.” (Y/n) said introducing the Kamado.

The triplets were a bit scared, but with (Y/n) here they walked up slowly to the small demon girl. Naho took out her hand which Nezuko grabbed softly and shook it.

Kiyo saw how she was friendly and also stuck her hand out which Nezuko also grabbed. Sumi got closer and poked the demon’s cheeks. They all giggled at Nezuko’s reaction.

The small girl had let go of Naho and poked Sumi’s cheek back. They all started to play together making (Y/n) smile. She watched as they chased each other around.

She leaned back on the bed that was there and closed her eyes. She was tired and wanted to sleep. She felt someone poke her left cheek making her jump.

She turned around and bumped noses with someone. After realizing who it was she jumped back.

“No need to be so scared (Y/n), I don’t bite” shinobu joked.

The latter stayed quiet not knowing what to say. There was a bit of tension between the two. Silence was broken by the shorter girl.

“Follow me. I know you’re injured, let me help” Shinobu ordered.

“I’m fine. I don’t need your help” (Y/n) rejected Shinobu.

“I wasn’t giving you the choice. Follow me now.” Shinobu repeated faking her smile.

(Y/n) frowned when she looked at Shinobu, “Why do you do that?”

The brunette asked as she got up, rejecting Shinobu’s hand to pull her up.

“I’m not sure, I understand”

“Your smile. I don’t like it, it’s not genuine. If you don’t want to smile then don’t. Lead the way please” (Y/n) said.

Shinobu stayed silent, and lead the way to her room. “This isn’t the infirmary room. This is your room” (Y/n) stated, looking around.

It was a mess, papers were everywhere and ink was spilled on the top of her desk. Something sitting on the desk caught her attention. It was (Y/n)’s favorite doll she used to play with younger.

She thought she locked it away in her closet somewhere, but here it was on Shinobu’s desk.

“Thanks for stating the obvious. Anyways sit down on my bed” Shinobu said. (Y/n) wasn’t moving and turned around to see her standing still looking at something.

She moved and saw (Y/n) looking at the doll. The shorter girl’s eyes widened, shit! I forgot to hide it, the girl thought.

“(Y/n) please sit down on my bed” she stated again trying to play it cool.

“Huh? Oh okay.”

The brunette sat down, and watched as Shinobu took off, her haori. Shinobu also took off the latter’s shirt leaving (Y/n) in her bra.

“Wow, well you definitely have been training. Uhmm okay, lay down now.” The doctor switched topics acting normal as if she didn’t just compliment (Y/n)’s body.

How is she so calm? (Y/n) wondered. The flower girl was getting shy about being left only in her bra. She’s just trying to help me. Just trying to help me.

The taller one reminded herself in her head as she laid down. Shinobu suddenly pressed down on (Y/n)’s stomach. The brunette winced feeling pain.

Shinobu took note of this and moved onto another area, “So. It’s been four years since we’ve last seen each other. And you’re befriending demons now..?” Shinobu started, breaking the silence.

“Only Nezuko. I have not met another demon like her” (Y/n) answered shortly.

“So what made you lose it? What made you think it’d be a great idea to put your life on the line for a demon.” Shinobu asked with venom laced in her voice.

(Y/n) raised an eyebrow at the tone of voice before she could answer, pain was immediately felt again, “Ow! Fuck!” She shouted.

“Please refrain from using such vulgar language here.” Shinobu informed calmly.

“Well please don’t put so much pressure on my stomach next time.” (Y/n) retorted.

“As I was saying, I haven’t lost it. I trust Nezuko and if I need to put my life on the line for her to be trusted, then I’ll gladly do so”

(Y/n) jumped at the sudden pain in her foot. She glanced at Shinobu and saw her fake smile again. She glared at the latter.

“What?” Shinobu questioned noticing (Y/n)’s look. (Y/n) arose from the bed and blocked Shinobu’s hand to stop her. The brunette leaned closer to the girl’s face staring hard. She smelled Wisteria and Lavender the closer she got to the latter.

“W-what are you doing” Shinobu stuttered out, getting nervous. Her fake smile dropped for a moment, but after realizing she brought it back up.

“Stop that, it’s annoying. I know you’re not happy, so why are you smiling? Even, then on the mountain you were still faking your smile. You weren’t like this four years ago”

“People change you know? I changed the moment you left me. I can tell you also changed, but for the worst. You literally put your life on the line for a fucking demon” Shinobu fired at the latter.

“Are you seriously trying to shift the blame to me? Don’t forget Shinobu, you were the one that told me to leave. I begged you to rethink, I knew you weren’t in your right mind. You hurt me with your words, saying you regretted going on the date with me.

And, yes I put my life on the line for Nezuko. I don’t mind you thinking it’s dumb, but don’t fucking try to shift the blame to me. You know what? Fuck your help, I don’t need it.” (Y/n) stated, angrily.

She stood up and put the demon slayer shirt on, forgetting her haori. Once again Shinobu didn’t stop her. (Y/n) hated herself for wanting Shinobu to take it all back. She wanted Shinobu for apologize, so she could run into her arms and cry.

The thing is, she was still in love with Shinobu even after all those years. Even after everything that’s happened she loves Shinobu no matter what. She can’t seem to get the girl out of her head.

(Y/n) walked up to the door and stopped. She waited for Shinobu to stop her, but it never came. “Did you get rid of my room or is it still there?” the flower hashira tried playing it off.

“Yes, you’ll always have a room here.” Shinobu stated trying to make sure her voice didn’t crack.

And, with that response the brunette opened the door and slammed it shut. She stormed off to her room, remembering where it stayed. A few kakashi were in the hallway of her room.

They all watched as she opened the door. She could hear their whispers, “Did she even get permission from Shinobu-sama to open the door? I’ve always wondered what’s behind it. Shinobu-sama usually spends her time in there. She doesn’t allow anyone to enter”

She closed the door and leaned against it. She.. she stays in my room? Why? (Y/n) wondered. She looked around and it pretty much seemed the same as four years ago.

Until the smell of Wisteria and lavender hit her nose. The whole room smelled of it which was unusual. Then she looked towards her bed. The bed sheets were wrinkled which was not how she left it.

That was where it smelled the most of Wisteria and Lavender, Shinobu’s scent.. did she stay in my bed often?

(Y/n) stayed, sitting down on her bed for a few minutes rethinking everything. Until she heard a knock coming from the door.

She stood up and opened the door. There she saw Aoi standing, looking upset. “Hey, Aoi. How can I help you-” she got cut off by a punch.

“What’d you do to Shinobu-sama? Go apologize!”

“First of all, ow! Second of all, you don’t even know what she did! Did she tell you my side of the story?”

Aoi shook her head, but she still stood firm on Shinobu’s side. (Y/n) sighed and shut the door on Aoi’s face. Aoi pounded on the door, until the hashira told her she needed to think things through.

“Okay, fine. But just make sure you apologize when you make up your mind.” the girl on the opposite side informed, (Y/n) heard the girl’s footsteps getting further.

She was left to her thoughts. Part of her wanted to go and apologize but the other part knew she wasn’t in the wrong.

(Standing on business ‼️💯🔥)

••

It’s been a week since (Y/n) and Shinobu talked. The tension between the two was intense. Anytime they were both in the same room either one would make the excuse to leave.

Then (Y/n) would continue going on missions despite Shinobu’s warnings. Every time the insect hashira caught the brunette leaving for a mission, she warned her and they argued about it.

The triplets and Kanao started to slowly realize they weren’t on good terms and asked Aoi about it. Well, Kanao stayed silent but you could tell she was curious. Aoi pretended nothing was wrong and that they were fine.

Aoi once again went to go complain to the brunette. She didn’t want the triplets and Kanao to know (Y/n) and Shinobu weren’t good with each other.

The blue butterfly knocked sense into (Y/n)’s head and scolded her. She was aware Shinobu wasn’t fully in the right, but her mentor also didn’t apologize often despite being in the wrong.

(Y/n) was just going to pretend to listen to Aoi, but when the girl wouldn’t leave until she went to go apologize to the butterfly girl. She realized she actually did need to go talk to her so Aoi would leave her alone. She sighed getting up, and told Aoi she actually would apologize but to let her walk alone.

Aoi surprisingly agreed and left (Y/n) alone. Staying true to her promise, the flower girl made her way to Shinobu’s room.

She didn’t bother to knock and just opened the door. There, she saw Shinobu injecting herself with something. She wouldn’t have questioned it, if it weren’t for the latter’s reaction.

“Fuck! Haven’t you heard of knocking?” Shinobu shouted angrily not looking at who it was. She immediately tried hiding whatever she had on her hand.

(Y/n) froze at the sudden outburst. She was shocked the calm and collected girl actually wasn’t faking it. She broke out of her trance and rushed up to the girl.

She noticed Shinobu wasn’t wearing Kanae’s haori but.. hers. Oh right! I forgot it here why is she wearing it? Whatever that’s besides the point. What is she hiding.

She rose an eyebrow skeptically at the purple liquid on the ground. “What’s going on? What are you doing..?” she asked wasting no time.

Shinobu recognized the voice and felt nervous. She didn’t want (Y/n) to see her like this. She knew the girl wouldn’t agree with it.

“Nothing. Just leave (Y/n). Like you always do” Shinobu said trying to anger the girl on purpose so she could leave. The latter knew better though. She knew the girl infront of her was trying to get a rise out of her.

Shinobu was acting suspicious and (Y/n) was going to fond out why.

The brunette walked forward and bent down silently and smelled the liquid, “Wisteria..?” She questioned. She looked at Shinobu, who was drenched in sweat.

She connected the dots by looking at the girls arm which was bleeding.

Immediately, she felt anger. “Shinobu, please tell me you are not injecting yourself with Wisteria.” (Y/n) tried saying it calmly but she couldn’t hide the anger in her voice.

The silence from Shinobu told the flower girl all she needed to know.

“Just, how much have you taken..?” She questioned worried for the answer.

“So far thirty three.. kilograms worth of poison..” the purple girl gasped out.

(Y/n) didn’t respond immediately. She didn’t want to lash out at the girl. She took deep breaths in and out. Shinobu started fidgeting with her fingers, waiting for the latter’s response.

Instead of getting the scolding she was expecting. She was hugged tightly by the flower hashira. “Why..?”

“You’re the only one who knows.. I’m planning to get eaten by the demon who killed Kanae.”

“No no no stop. Please.. we’ll find some other way to kill him. I’ll defeat him with you together. I don’t want you to die. I can’t live without you” (Y/n) confessed, hugging Shinobu’s from behind tighter.

Shinobu started to feel guilty when she felt (Y/n) sob onto her shoulder. It was getting wet.

“(Y/n).. I can’t stop now. I’m too far in, I swore revenge and I will accomplish it no matter what”

“Shinobu.. I won’t let you take him on by yourself. I want revenge too but not like this. I don’t want it if you die”

Shinobu turned around and lifted (Y/n)’s head up. The brunette looked at Shinobu with teary eyes, “It’ll be fine. I promise” the insect hashira promised, wiping away the girl’s tears.

“That’s a lie! I know it won’t be fine! You’re planning a suicide mission just for revenge not thinking what your death will do to others. I’ll train harder than ever to make sure you don’t go through with this stupid plan.

I won’t ever forgive you if I catch you injecting yourself with this again. Please, stop now. Do it for the girls, please.. I beg of you Shinobu!” (Y/n) shouted, her voice cracking multiple times.

Shinobu rested her forehead against the latter’s. “Okay, I promise then. We’ll find a way we can both take him out. I’ll stop injecting myself with poison” she promised after seeing how much this affected (Y/n).

(Y/n) smiled softly, lips quivering. She looked towards Shinobu’s lips, “May, I?” she asked. Shinobu didn’t responded, instead connecting her lips with the latter’s lips.

Both of their hearts raced the moment their lips touched. They’ve waited four years for this moment. They longed for each other and finally got what they wanted.

Teeth were clattering against each other, but they didn’t care. Shinobu brought her hands to (Y/n)’s head and pushed her deeper into the kiss.

(Y/n) scooped her up, not breaking the kiss and laid down together with her. They both pulled away, panting. “Oh how long I’ve waited to do that.” Shinobu said with a genuine smile.

“Oh really? How long?” (Y/n) asked with a toothy grin. “Let me show you. How long” Shinobu said feeling confident.

“I would love to see it, but let’s wait a little longer. I want our moment to be special.” (Y/n) replied giggling, rejecting Shinobu nicely.

Shinobu frowned, but smiled when (Y/n) pecked her lips again. The two girls were happy with this. They fixed things and were now cuddling (Shinobu is the big spoon despite the height difference).

“Shinobu.. I have a question I’ve been wanting to ask.”

“Hmm? What is it?”

“When I was away. Did you stay in my room? I heard whispers how you wouldn’t allow anyone to enter and would often spend time inside. When I entered the room, I was hit with your scent and my bed smelled the most of it.”

(Y/n) couldn’t see but Shinobu’s face was red. “Who said that!? I’m going to fire them for gossiping!”

“So it was true.?”

“..yes..” Shinobu confirmed, sighing.

“Did you miss me a lot?”

“Yes, every day I remember those hurtful words I told you. I shouldn’t have said any of it. I’m truly sorry, (Y/n)”

“It’s okay Shinobu.. I know you’re sorry. I’m just happy we’re together now and not fighting. And I’m glad I convinced you to stop injecting yourself with wisteria. I just need you to do one more thing please”

“What is it?”

“Please stop faking your smile. If you’re angry then show it. Don’t cover it up with that fake smile. If you’re sad then cry. It’s fine, no one will shame you for it” (Y/n) finished.

“Okay. I pinky promise” Shinobu promised.

(Y/n) turned around to kiss Shinobu again. She never wanted to let go of the girl ever again. They fell asleep hugging each other on Shinobu’s bed content.

Aoi walked in to see what was going on and when she saw them. She called people over to see. Everyone awed at the sight, but immediately scattered when Shinobu stirred in her sleep a bit.

•

FINALLYYYYYYY IM DONE WITH THIS ONESHOT. I literally have to go to my high school orientation today like in a few hours. I will check for spelling corrections later. Not sure how long this one shot is but I know it’s over 10,000 words.

I need to sleep noww.

Toodles!! Hope u guys enjoyed :3

[ataraxiaspainting]

Hayloft.

Yan Mahito x GN Reader.

Synopsis: Mahito wants to farm.

Warnings: Yandere themes, kidnapping, Mahito as his own warning, implied minor character death, and implications of violence/forced cannibalism.

Word Count: 800.

*~*~*~*

“Sounds fun! Looks so too!”

Mahito’s fingers tap and tap on the glass, unsurprisingly never leaving any fingerprints or smudges. He is a curse, after all. It makes sense. Not that you have to be reminded of such, with how little he knows of human culture, the world at large, or with how much he shapeshifts into a disembodied head at night to scare half-awake you. 

You are both sitting on a giant bean bag in the shape of a green slime of all things that Mahito brought in an hour or so earlier. Mahito, as expected, takes up most of it with a malformed arm wrapped around your shoulders and back. 

In your hands is a Nintendo Switch, the sticker case on the joycons, and the screen itself somewhat peeling off, but still the pink bunny and strawberry drawing designs stay intact.

The YouTube app is on, showing a playthrough of Stardew Valley. This part of the sewers had two bars of wifi from the little ramen place above it, something you are grateful for in some aspect. Because of it, you have one more piece of entertainment that is now Mahito bringing you back stale snacks and stuffed animals (that you pray to whatever higher power that they were not alive before Mahito got his hands on them) and nearly smothering you with hugs. 

This is calming. When you just read the dialogue of the characters and listen to the music and pay attention to the satisfying sight of the farmer planting pumpkin seeds and apple tree saplings, it is calming, you are calm, Mahito is, at least partially, calm.

Mahito wanted something to watch today and brought the Nintendo Switch for you to play with as he simply observes. It could be worse, you reminded yourself before you attempted to protest, stopping yourself. It could be much worse. He could turn you into the Nintendo Switch, or much, much worse.

It can be so much worse. He can be so much worse. Your life as a captive can be so much worse. Everything can be so much worse. That is a line you never want to cross because everything can be so, so much worse than it already is.

Mahito raises his free hand, and you pause the video, just as you were taught to. He then points again at the field of two-dimensional, square-like crops all in multiple rows of hoed soil. 

It’s springtime in the game, you think, from how the cherry trees have pink blossoms and petals falling onto nearby ground all around it.

Mahito counts with his fingertip, jumping from one plant to the next and then from one row to the next.

He whistles, and it makes you flinch because that is the same noise he makes whenever you scream, a reaction to when he brings a body part of someone you loved here, throwing it down beside the small dog bed you were given for good behavior, the blood staining the fabric as it falls with a grotesque, sort of plopping sound.

If Mahito wants to grow vegetables and fruit in the few places this sewer has sunlight, he can be your guest.

“Potato, cauliflower, garlic… green beans, kale, parsnips, rhubarb, strawberries…” He says each word like he has never heard of them before. Considering he has never really set foot in a grocery or convenience store for anything other than chips, it is not all that surprising. With another wave of his hand, you rewind it to the moment where the farmer character starts watering the seeds when they are freshly planted. He waits. So do you. “Sounds good! We can make some cheese cauliflower, parsnip soup, pizza, hashbrowns… just imagine it! Yum… I can just picture it now.”

With yet another wave of his hand, you stand up and so does he. Relief goes through you, like a ghost, both horrifying you and making you feel the smallest bit of hope that for once Mahito can act normal.

…

“M-Mahito, vegetables don’t grow that fast.” You say, looking down at the plate of baked fish with what smells like kale and garlic underneath, along with lemon and salt. “H-How-”

“It’s simply the power of love!” Mahito exclaims, inhaling loudly to smell the dish in front of you two. He sighs softly. “A pure demonstration of my love, all I do for you, and all I will do for you in the future.”

You could have sworn that there was the smallest voice from the fish if Mahito’s bragging of how much work went into making you a dish from Stardew Valley was not so loud.

Help me.

“Dig in, cutie!”

You would do anything for Mahito’s grin to not turn into a frown, so you pick up your fork with trembling, scarred hands.