#this was like torture also because i couldn't pick what to delete

[zevrans-remade]

as i tried to delete posts in order to drop the post counter i realized my problem was actually that i just.. can't freaking delete almost anything because i ??? i don't even know why, i just can't 😭

[dozing-composing]

ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇ ᴛʀᴜᴇ, ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ɪꜱ ɴᴇᴡ

ᴍʏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʜᴀꜱ ɢᴏɴᴇ ᴀᴡᴀʏ

Warnings: Angst Ahead Days like these are more than perfect. You are the highlight of each and every waking moment, but it all comes crashing down when you have to go. A/N: This Might Be A Bit Rushed, Because I Accidentally Deleted The First Draft Thinking I Posted It. I Apologize If Anything Seems Off.

He couldn't get enough of this. His head was resting in your lap as you ran your fingers through his coarse hair. He rests his eyes. You're looking down at him, examining his features. You both share this moment of serenity under the shade of a large white oak tree atop a grassy hill. Thick, puffy clouds roll with the wind across the sky. The grass around you sways. He draws out a long exhale, exuding pure bliss. This was the only time he could truly relax. "Did you have a rough day, my love?" The corners of his mouth turn up. Your voice is music to his ears. "Not anymore now that I am here with you," his eyes stay closed. "Would you like to tell me about it?" You smile. He hums, then dramatically rambles about the lengths he had to go through to save Dr. Venture and Co. once again. It was a "perilous journey." You recognize that throughout various points of his story, he'll outdo himself. As much as you were pleased knowing he had found people to accept him and his ways of magic, it also pained you seeing him pushing himself past his limit. You hated seeing him so tired out to the point where his exhaustion made him physically weak. There were times when he would stop by and you could see his eyes were sunk in, his fingers would twitch from expeditious spell-casting, his joints would crack at the slightest bit of movement. And to top it all off, he still visits you each and every day. You figure these conditions would worsen if he kept this up. "Byron," you interrupt him mid-sentence. "Yes, my dear?" "You love me, right?" His eyes open. He bolts upright, resting his hands on your shoulders. "Why, angel, you are the very being that eases my mind from metal torture." "That's just it," your hands gently hold his wrists. "You're killing yourself more and more each time you come here." You can't keep eye contact, looking away when he looks at you confusedly.

"But, seeing you is the very reason I-" "Byron," you say sternly. You lower his hands. "You can't keep coming to this mindset." The skies turn grey when you say these words. The wind picks up. Orpheus looks at you, a mix between terror and sadness, while your own carries the sorrow you've been meaning to show him. "Darling! I-" You stand, not wishing to hear his pleas. The anguish in your chest rises. You attempt to make your way across the hill, but are weighted down when Orpheus throws himself onto you, clinging to your waist. His eyes well up, pools of tears threaten to fall. You look down at him. "Please, stay here with me," his voice is wavering. He buries his head in your hip, tears staining the fabric of your clothes. You partially regret interrogating him like this, but you know it would be best for him. "Byron, love," You kneel to his level. "I never meant to cause such hurt," you pull him close in an embrace. His chin rests in the crook of your neck. "But you need to let me go." Suddenly, it all comes back to him. He remembers the way you fell when you were stuck down, when you desperately grasp his sleeves and how you swallowed quick gasps of air. He remembers your last words, stumbling out one final "I love you," before succumbing to darkness. Then you went limp in his arms.

"I...I..." The lump in his throat grows tighter. He shudders harshly. He can no longer contain himself. "I can't!" He finally gives in to his emotions. He clutches you harder. By this point, the wind is howling. The clouds, now blackened, engulf the sky. Leaves rip from the oak and fly away. What was once a reflection of his image of you becomes a horrifying storm of his own guilt. There's a block in his chest, and he starts to heave. He tries to speak, but it's incoherent. He's blubbering apologies. But then you begin to rub his back. Your warmth is a blanket that settles his woes. The storm quietens down along with his cries. "Shh, shh. It's alright, my love." Something he's always admired about you is how you could always comfort him in times of need. You knew how to keep calm, even in situations as vulnerable as this. "You... You were my everything," his breathing levels out a bit. The poor man struggles to collect himself. He recedes, now taking your face in his hands. "You were my muse. My stars, my moon." His thumb brushes over your cheek. "You were the sole reason I go beyond the bounds." Your heart breaks hearing this. You frown. You sigh. "I shouldn't have been so upfront," your hands place themselves on his. "But I think you need to move on." You kiss his palm. Then, your hands reach for his face. "For the sake of your mental state." Your lips connect with his. Oh, how he misses these tender moments with you. You break the kiss, thumbs wiping his tear-stained face. "I can't bear to see you in pain like this," you press your forehead against his. Your surroundings are significantly calm. It's still cloudy, but the air is refreshing. "You're my entire world." The both of you stay like this in a state of tranquility. The leaves on the tree rustle. The grass dances about. Everything goes back to normal. "I didn't want you to worry for me," he murmurs. "I can't help that," you reply, backing away to get a better view of his face. "Because I love you too much to see you joining me so soon," your hands move down to his chest. Now it's his turn to place his on top of yours. "You still have a life to live. Triana still needs you. The Ventures need you." He blinks. Of course he wants to be here with you, but when you mention this, he realizes that he still has responsibilities at home he can't just leave. "You need to shift back." He's defeated. You were right.

"...I know," his voice cracks. Another short moment of silence passes. "No matter what, I will always be with you," you peck his nose, something you would usually do when you were both alone. "I will forever cherish every minute of you," he wraps his arms around you once more. The wind picks up again, now creating a tornado of grey as the clouds dissolve. Everything turns to white.

"There will never be a day where you won't cross my mind." "And there'll never be a day where I stop loving you." Your words echo as he brings himself back to the real world. Your hold fades as you dissipate. The scene around him disappears. Orpheus's position doesn't change as he is thrust back into reality. He's still on his knees with his arms out, holding nothing now that you're gone once more. He deflates. His arms fall as he crouches over. His quivering form convulses as his hands clutches his head. Soft whimpers escape his lips.

He's alone again. At least in the mortal realm. But he knows that you're always with him, waiting for the day where he'll be able to reunite with you. Officially, that is.

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

Seeing Their Crush Half Dressed

Kim Hongjoong:

Hongjoong was lost for sure. He didn't understand why. As an idol, he should remember his way backstage where they hold the Music Bank performances.

"Fuck......where is it?"

He scratched the back of his head, trying to remember where Ateez' waiting room was. He kept walking until he finally reached a door that he felt was familiar. Without thinking too much he opened it and widened his eyes. It definitely wasn't his waiting room. It was your group's waiting room and you were currently in the process of putting on your stage outfit. You both just stood there, too stunned to say anything.

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry Y/N-shii! I was looking for my dressing room!" He finally found his voice.

You simply chuckled and quickly threw on your shirt.

"Stop the formality, we're friends you know. I'm glad it was you and not someone else who bursted in."

Hongjoong let out an awkward laugh before saying sorry again and closing the door. Once alone, he face palmed himself and dragged it down his face.

"Hongjoong you stupid idiot!"

Park Seonghwa:

Seonghwa just wanted to watch his currently favorite drama that he was hooked on. Except the 99 liners decided to hog up the tv and he was mad. Then he remembered you lived right next door. Why not just go over and watch it with you? It gives him time to spend time with you as well. Win win situation if you asked him.

He texted you and you of course told him to just walk in. You underestimated how long he'd take though, and he came faster than you thought. So when he walked into your living room, you were still in your workout attire, and it wasn't exactly much either.

"I brought you the gummy bears you-"

Seonghwa sucked in a breath when he saw what you were wearing, his mouth dropping as he stared at your body.

"What?" You asked as you took in his reaction.

He simply pointed to your clothes.

"I was exercising. Geez no need to make a big deal out of it." You rolled your eyes.

Seonghwa snapped back.

"Oh no! Don't take it the wrong way! It's just.... your body...."

You raised an eyebrow at him. "What about it?"

"It's just.........Wow! Amazing!" He giggled.

Jeong Yunho:

It was Yunho's day off and he decided to spend it at a sauna to relax after working for long hours. Mingi decided to join him as usual. It was all fun between them, just laughing and joking amongst themselves. Mingi was definitely teasing him about his crush on you, which Yunho could only blush at his comments.

After a bit, they decided it was time to leave. Yunho walked out of the sauna room first, Mingi staying for just another minute. Upon walking out, the door to the sauna room next to his opened as well and you walked out.

"Yunho?" You asked, surprised to see him there.

"Y-Y/N?"

He was shook to find you there, and even more since you were wearing nothing, only towel draped over your body to cover you. He felt his face getting hot and then he remembered that he himself only had a towel tied around his waist.

"So nice seeing you here. Maybe I'll see you some other time." You smiled and waved goodbye to him.

Yunho chuckled nervously and waved to you, not knowing what to say. Right at that moment, Mingi came out and took in Yunho's state.

"What's with you? You're acting stupid. Like the kind of stupid you get around Y/N, but 5 times worse"

Kang Yeosang:

You often spent time at Ateez' dorm cause of Wooyoung, he became your friend and he loved having you over, partly because he enjoyed your company and partly cause he knew of Yeosang's crush on you. So of course, he liked torturing the poor boy by making him flustered by your presence.

On a particular day, you accidentally spilled your drink on your shirt and Wooyoung offered you one of his shirts, and left you in his room to change. Except Yeosang didn't know about this, and it was his room too. So he went looking for something and found you topless.

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry!"

He didn't wait to see your reaction. He just covered his face and slammed the door behind him, too shocked to say anything. He ran into the living room, where Wooyoung was and judging from his friend's face, he could guess what happened. Wooyoung started laughing at him.

"Warn a guy you imbecile!" Yeosang threw a cushion at him and made his way to the kitchen.

Once alone though, he replayed your image in his head and giggled softly. He's not totally regretting it.

Choi San:

By no means was this an accident, coincidence or simple unfortunate circumstance. Nope. San knew what he was doing and he was not regretting any second of it. He simply saw the opportunity and decided to take it.

The boys were spending time at your place. You were all planning on watching movies the entire night. Sometime during one of the movies, you got up and decided to change into something more comfy. That's when the light bulb switched in San's brain.

"I'm going to the bathroom." He announced, not that anyone was paying attention.

Instead of the bathroom though, he curbed his way to your bedroom door before smirking to himself. Putting on an innocent expression, he opened your door and walked in on you in just your underwear.

"Choi San!" You exclaimed as you covered yourself.

"I thought you were done!" He said while faking a shocked look.

"Get out!" You yelled as you threw the nearest article of clothing to him, which he dodged.

"Ok ok!"

He closed the door and walked back into the living room, a tiny smirk on his lips.

"You're a perv." Seonghwa told him.

Song Mingi:

This day could not get worse for Mingi. First he woke up late for practice, then he kept messing up at said practice, which resulted in him having to stay extra time at the studio to make up for his mistakes. And now he's lived one of the biggest embarrassments of his life.

It wasn't your fault. He didn't know your plumbing was being fixed and San offered to let you shower in their bathroom. He also forgot to mention that to Mingi when he came home. So naturally when he walked into the bathroom, he was not expecting to see a half naked you in front of him.

"Aaaah!"

You both yelled. Mingi slammed the door closed and ran back to where San was, who upon hearing the commotion, realized he messed up.

"Ooops. Forgot to tell you about-"

"Yeah I noticed." Mingi cut him off.

Mingi sighed and slumped his tall body next to San, feeling so embarrassed.

"How am I ever going to be able to look at them in the face after I saw them half naked?"

San patted his friend's back. "Come on, it's not so bad..... I've seen them completely naked and I can still look at them."

Mingi whipped his head up at San's confession. "You what?!"

Jung Wooyoung:

Feeling bored and wanting to go out, the boys dragged you to the mall with them. They were so excited to get out and enjoy the world, not to mention they all wanted to buy things for themselves. So there you were, watching them all try on clothes and endlessly asking you for your fashion input.

Hongjoong couldn't stand to see you sitting there though. He picked out a few things for you to try on as well, secretly hoping you'd get them so he could customize them for you. So you went inside one of the dressing rooms to try them on. Wooyoung had been looking for his jacket though, which he misplaced.

"Maybe you left it in one of the dressing rooms." Mingi suggested to him.

Wooyoung thought that everybody was done trying on clothes though. That's why he didn't know you were currently in the one he just casually walked into.

"Holy Jesus!" Wooyoung screeched when he saw you half naked.

"Haven't you heard of knocking?!" You yelled as you pushed him out and slammed the door.

Wooyoung walked back to where Mingi was.

"What happened?" Mingi asked, noticing how awkward Wooyoung looked.

Wooyoung looked at the taller male and smiled. "Nothing that I regret."

Choi Jongho:

You were planning a trip to the beach with your family. You were so excited to see them after so long, and even more to see your favorite cousin, whom you were currently texting. Both of you were swimsuit shopping and trying to get each other's opinion on what to get and what looked better on you both.

Unfortunately for you, you weren't really paying attention when you sent a picture of yourself in a very revealing swimsuit to Jongho instead of your cousin.

Y/N: So what do you think? Do you like it?

Jongho dropped his phone when he saw your text, fanning his face that was getting hotter by the second.

Jongho: I mean..... I do?

You screamed when you realized your mistake.

Y/N: Oh my God! Jongho I'm so sorry! I was trying to send that to my cousin! :(

Jongho: It's ok. Don't worry :)

Out of respect for you, he quickly deleted the picture, only thing left was the memory of your body now engraved in his mind.

"Damn are they hot though." He said to himself.

Gifs not mine, credit goes to their respective owners.

[drivingsideways]

ALL of them for TMTTAL? Pretty please?

Aww, thanks, Gin! Tell Me The Truth (About Love) is definitely one of my fave things to have written, so I'm happy to yap about it!

☼: how i came up with the idea

I think it started with just an off-the-cuff tumblr ficlet that I wrote, not very well thought out- but that eventually became the official meet cute in Chapter 7 of the fic, where Hyeon-min confronts his STALKER. But then I got thinking about it, like, not in a very structured way- just trying to figure out how I'd get the characters to that one scene, and then @rain-hat was the best enabler, so I just started writing and then...just didn't stop for a long time.

☄: what the writing process was like

It was delightful and exhausting! I was definitely on a roll- by that time I think I'd been almost continuously writing in one fandom or the other for like five months straight- which was extraordinarily productive by my standards- but! Hot girl summer! I loved the story and I believed in it, but I think I went through all the usual emotions of "why" and "when will this torture end" and "oh my god this is all crap". I really wouldn't have made it through if not for the wonderful and generous Rain, who cheered and cried and was, I think, at some point at least 50% more invested in the fic than I was (because I was a tired rodent by then).

✄: something i deleted before the final draft

Oh man, I realized just now that I deleted all my drafts in one of my rare instances of laptop-housekeeping, so I'm sorry, I don't have anything to show for this! I didn't delete a lot (that I remember- but that's also because I often edit as I go along!) but there was a back story for Sister Lee as a labour rights activist, and there was a longish office-comedy scene at the start where Hyeon-min goes to check about his leave pay with HR, and I think the hardest was cutting out a small scene about Kang Hyeon-min's mom- I cut it for pacing, and couldn't find a place for it later, but I wish I had managed it somehow. Oh, and there was an entire backstory about Hyeon-min's realizing he's bi, and his first boyfriend.

♡: my favorite part

You're going to laugh, but eventually my favourite parts of this story were NOT the scenes between Hyeon-min and Yeong, it was the Koo-Kang family- they were the gift the story gave me- because I honestly had no idea I was going to write them that way until I wrote the first line: "It’s Koo Seo-ryeong who susses him out first, and if Kang Hyeon-min were a little less incensed with her, he might have paid attention."

I just love all the scenes I wrote for them, and I can't particularly choose, but I think this bit stands out as what (I think) is good characterization work? :D

She'd sat up, suddenly, and climbed over him, picking up her clothes from the floor.

Hand propped on the pillow, he'd watched her dress—not hurried, but efficient.

“I think we’re done here, don’t you?” she'd asked, casually, as she'd belted the wide buckle of her dress.

He had wanted to ask her what he'd done wrong—but then, he’d never known what he’d done right either .

and maybe my fave exchange (technically: text) I've ever written:

Gyeongie got me a Kit-Kat today, he writes, so Song & Kim had better get you out soon or I’m going to have a new favourite Koo sister.

As if, comes the reply, within seconds. I made a man of you, baby, never forget.

☠: something i found challenging

This was definitely the "case fic" part of the story- for someone who grew up on a diet of whoddunits, I just couldn't make it work, and a large part of my tension during writing it was the resultant feeling that I'm just plain dumb? Eventually I had to stop stressing about being *clever * about it, because, after all, it was just a plot device for the things I wanted to get at.

☾: how i thought people would respond to the fic

Lol, I thought a handful of people might enjoy it- or so I hoped- but it was a long, slow burn for a niche pairing in a relatively tiny fandom, so I wasn't expecting many readers. (But I'm thrilled so many people enjoyed it and I sometimes go back and read the comments on it when I'm feeling low. Thanks y'all!)

☽: how people *actually* responded

I think it has a small, but devoted fanbase! *blows kisses at you all *

∞: something i wish i’d done differently

Hmm, you know, this is one of the few fics I've written that I'm largely satisfied with? Well, yes, the case fic part was probably something that should have been better, and I always find my prose utilitarian- but on the whole, I think it came together pretty well!

★: something i’m proud to have accomplished

Idk if there's anything I *have * with this particular fic- personally, I'm just happy if I can get a reader to click through to the next chapter. :D

[dani-luminae]

Apparently tumblr ate my ask. Hurt and upset. 😤 anyway, fic writer asks, 7, 8, 9 and 10 (for the question about kudos, idk if quotev has an equivalent but if it doesn't then just fave/follows?)

HOW DARE YOU, TUMBLR

See, this is why I make the announcements about it - best case scenario it's a glitch and no one cares, but the worst case scenario is TUMBLR ATE A TREASURED MUTUAL'S ASK. Bad Tumblr! *whacks Tumblr on the head with an empty paper towel roll*

Anyway. Onto the questions,

7. what is you favourite sentence/paragraph?

I'm gonna decline to read it to you all in an audio way, but I'd have to pick this little exchange from Ties to Evil, a fic I technically co-own with @thetimelordbatgirl, who's OC Jayra is in it:

        "What are you doing here?!" Adam screamed across the deck.         "What am I doing here? What are you doing here?!" Jayra screamed back.         Cordelia and Minnie shared a look. Did they want the entire Isle to hear their yelling match? Because if they kept this up, the whole Isle was going to hear them.         Adam crossed his arms. "I left Auradon to come back to the Isle to try and find a solution for everything!" He said loudly.         Jayra copied his pose. "Well... me too!"         "I left a note for the others!"         "Me too!"         There was a pause in which both of them stood there with their arms crossed, glaring at each other, as they came to the same conclusion.         "We're both in so much trouble, aren't we?" Adam said.         Jayra snorted. "Oh, no joke."

(Ties to Evil basically combines the plots of D2 and the second Descendants book, Return to the Isle of the Lost, so if any plot here feels familiar, it should. Also the Adam named here is not Beast but Beast's grandson who was named after him, just to clear that up.)

8. if you got a computer virus that deleted all your fics but had just enough time to save one before they were wiped out, which fic would you pick and why?

Oh good lord, this is torture to pick. Can I skip? No? Fine. On principle I'm sure you'd expect me to pick RTS/NE or LFTS, but honestly I would probably leap to save Tales of Auradon: An Untold Story. It's the longest-running fic I have, technically, and I've put so much into it.

9. the “you got kudos“ e-mail is usually much appreciated, but is there a fic you wish you didn’t get these e-mails for? if so, which one and why?

Quotev does not have kudos nor do they send emails for like any reason. It has likes/hearts on stories, which is basically "how many people have this added to their library and will get notifs for updates," but I am not notified of that; it's up to me to pay attention if I care, and honestly, I don't pay attention. What I get notified for are comments, and I welcome almost all comments except for a particular copy-and-paste comment account that turns up every once in a while.

And while I love comments, I do get a kind of anxiety over seeing new comments appear on really old fics. It happens rarely but it does happen.

10. what word do you keep using like it’s going out of style?

Beats me, I don't pay attention to my own patterns much. Occasionally I'll notice that I'm using a word too much, but that only happens once in a while. Last time I realized that I was fond of the word "astonished" and I couldn't tell you if I'm out of that phase or not.

Thank you for the asks!

[goodness-gracious-great-balls-of]

Again no one said you're a bigot cause you like women you're a bigot cause you hate trans women. It's not that difficult. Stop avoiding responsibility by saying "omg they hate lesbians" cause that's not what's going on. Transwomen can be lesbians and your inability to pick up a book on biology or human sexuality doesn't change that. Trans women don't want to rape anyone, trans people are WAY more likely to be assaulted than to commit assault. But hey ignore facts you're so focused on being hateful and ignorant. I'm also queer you can shut the fuck up and quit invalidating everyone. You dont get to tell lesbians they're not allowed to be attracted to transwomen, you don't get to call trans women "men who castrated themselves", you don't get to call me anstraight and compare me to mike pence who wants to torture gays because you have no argument and obviously hate queer people. You just wanna be catered to and pretend that because you're a lesbian you can't be wrong lol when hun you're super wrong about EVERYTHING. Highly suggested you delete your blog and general shitty attitude before posting your opinion again. You really hate women it's kind of sad that you call yourself a lesbian. All you're doing is saying abwoman is a walking vagina then STILL denying womanhood to transwomen who are POST op. You should get a life and stop being so hateful of your fellow women. You're not a woman loving woman you're a misogynistic lady who likes to tell women who they can and can't like and what kind of bodies they need to have And thats super lame you might as well be a heterosexual in disguise on the internet. I couldn't imagine hating women so much but still thinking I could tell other lesbians a thing about lesbianism. You have my pity, I hope you get educated and one day stop being so ignorant and spiteful. Or at least maybe keep your mouth closed and not deviatate women and ruin possible sapphic relationships because you don't know what a woman is. Nice try tho. Good luck in the future hopefully you'll hit a surge of personal growth and stop thinking being a lesbian means hating trans women, you're the bigot here no need to pass it to every wlw. Anyway, get help.

Sapphic PSA

There are lesbians and bi women who are not penis-repulsed.

And there are some who are penis-repulsed, with or *without* trauma.

“I would never date a trans woman,” is transphobic because it is a blanket statement on all trans women, implying they are men.

“I have penis-repulsion, which limits my sexual compatability with some women,” is a better, less transphobic thing to say cuz it also can refer to incompatability w/ cis women who prefer using strap-ons and dildos, while validating womanhood regardless of genitals.