#this was just 15 words short of a thousand! I'm normal about hockey men!

[pvtchurch]

auston matthews and ginger from chicken run (connor mcdavid) for the ask meme ?

auston matthews

first impression: so, this one's kinda specific, but my first impression of him came from a fanart I saw on here. so really I didn't know much (this was before my hockey era) except, oh, the people here are really into shipping him with some other hockey guy. okay. not like I formed a lasting impression off that, but I did think his outfit was really cool, so you know, there's that. he's the first hockey guy to breach containment for me, I was not really interested at the time (this was not even a year ago 😭) but it's kinda special in that way

impression now: in general, seems like a chill guy. you know I try to perceive the leafs as little as possible but I respect him. also, cool outfits. he slays. good for him. however I DID read a fanfic which I'm pretty sure changed my brain chemistry and which starred him as the protagonist! doesn't change the way I see him, he just exists, doing his thing, except now I'm more aware of the leafs narratives. (thanks cody!)

I can't really answer any of the rest of the questions because like. I really don't know this guy. sorry reuben. you (leafs fans) can keep him. I don't wanna get dragged into another rabbit hole.

connor mcdavid

(aka, ginger from chicken run.) the fun begins.

first impression: generally thought he was kind of bland? I was like. that's just a dude. like he's good at hockey, which is fun, but he seems to have the amount of personality (and structural integrity!) of a piece of wet cardboard. so I elected to ignore him. I didn't know what was to come.

impression now: hoooooooly shit. this man occupies every single one of my thoughts and I don't even remember how it happened. genuinely. something clicked in my brain and suddenly I was obsessed with him. ofc there's something to be said about like, this anxious teen with the weight of the world on his shoulders who grew quite awkwardly into his adult frame, but like, people have already said these things. there's the insane hockey plays, of course he's amazing and all that, but idk, maybe it's the anxiety that touched me? he's so anxious and he's still going and you can tell he worked on it, it's not perfect but it's better than before? like the growth? I don't know. I kinda love him. he's quiet. a little pathetic-looking. I got no explanation for this one

favourite moment: I listened to a podcast and he was saying that he always has to remind leon of just how good he is, and he's taken it upon himself to make leon see it, and you can tell he really does care about it (beyond just the game). and it's a small moment but I'm a big fan of bros supporting bros. keep it up king 👑💪

idea for a story: so I was sorta maybe not quite writing something... which may or may not involve hanahaki disease and mcdrai. and it mostly deals in guilt (that's the good stuff) but it's actually kind of leon draisaitl centric, because he's the one with the disease and he's the one struggling to see that he is loved and he is cared for and he feels guilty for dumping this on connor and it's mostly platonic but also kind of not and well. I have like my own version of hanahaki which I did tell one (1) beloved mutual about but the document has been untouched for exactly a week now and my brain has moved onto other things, so. (if you feel like reading some hanahaki may I recommend this one, it's mceichel, I enjoyed it a lot)

favourite relationship: my most beloved mental illness. mcdrai. (which I found really flavourless like a few weeks back. character growth!) there's something to be said about the our stories are linked and our names are tied together aspect of it, and how they've found each other, and leon would find me even if I was invisible and all that. something about connor always hyping up leon to the media, because he sees so much in him, and he's waiting for other people to see it too, but in the end they never will because connor is right there and connor is the best player in the league and it's always about connor. he'll always overshadow leon by being there. connor can try, he can try to be selfless (and how can you not be when you are this good, haven't you internalised by now that it's no fun if you take the whole stage for yourself?) and maybe he would like a break from the constant attention but he won't get it. something else; they are the centre of the whole oilers team. like, and I'm not an oilers fan but I think I can say this, the team would absolutely collapse without them. no question about it. maybe they would be fine with just one or just the other but they would definitely be missing their other half. (and I could talk about how they are BOTH anxious and they are maybe each other's support, but that's for another day because I don't think people have noticed how anxious leon actually is yet.) …you could say I've had a normal amount of thoughts about these two.

favourite headcanon: I'm electing not to answer this one because as you can see from my mcdrai paragraph there are a lot of things I have extrapolated from bits of interviews, body language and the like, also maybe a bit of projecting in there. let's be honest that I'm pretending to know a man that I don't. I'm not even an oilers fan. this is all headcanon.

if anyone actually read this far. hope you had fun. sorry.