#this was inspired by mads' siken game!

[absenthiium]

Re the ask game...1, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 (take the noose off, wrap it tight around my hand, which I will never not adore), 12, 13, 14 (for your war is the context (god is a boy) stories that I also adore), 16 (for εἴδωλον), 17, 20, 21, 23, 24, 25, 26 (for παλλακή), 27, 28, 29, 33, 35, 36, 37, 38, 40, 41, 42 (for take the noose off, wrap it tight around my hand and i’ll lay on the floor, touch me ‘till i vomit, again my beloveds), 44, 45, 46 (i’ll lay on the floor, touch me ‘till i vomit, I only feel more insane about that one after starting my Ethel Cain phrase), 47 (for "suffering is nigh, drawing to me" or any Ptolemaea lyric because I feel that is such a Leo song), 48, 49.

(I am so sorry if this feels like too much, please don't feel pressured to answer any of these, but you said you like asks and I love your writing so much, so)

twelve. my very first one was a terrible merge between pandora hearts and dante's inferno, if i remember correctly.

4. definitely angst (and i love post-apocalyptic stories, but i'm yet to include the genre in a fanfiction, i've mostly done so in my original work).

5. i don’t have many, so i’m not sure. but she will talk like a friend (she will kiss like a man) has a special place in my heart (and i really need to continue it!).

6. for those i’ve posted on ao3, maybe my first one? it’s a good omens fic i translated (badly) from italian, it’s very trope-y and not really my thing anymore. 

7. i write whenever the need to strikes, so i’m almost constantly scribbling. but when it comes to writing from start to end, it’s mostly at night (might be ‘cause it’s the time of day i have less to do).

8. a lot of things! most of it comes from music, some from my own state of being or random things i've experienced. plus, books or poetry. sometimes, as i write, i keep a few books close for inspiration (these days, it’s mostly T.S. Eliot's the wasteland, Richard Siken's crush, Beppe Fenoglio's a private affair; plus, and I'm mentioning it mostly since it directly impacted take the noose of, wrap it tight, 4.48 psychosis by Sarah Kane).

9. part xii, the one about medications, was done through a lot of research on topics i’m wholly unfamiliar with, so it was interesting, and quite fun (plus, reading Sarah Kane at night while listening to Ethel Cain which was. something). plus, the last part! i think it’s really representative of the style i’m going for.

12. I go through phases of concentrating on a single character, and at the moment it's Leonardo from TMNT (who would've thought). other characters have been Izzy Hands from our flag means death, Jesse from breaking bad, and Spadino from that shitshow (affectionate) that was Suburra. 

13. i tend to avoid the issue by. not writing them, i guess. but at the moment, maybe Donatello from TMNT. i like him a lot, but i still haven’t figured out how to write him.

14. all the titles come from Norma Jeane baker of Troy by Anne Carson! i really like that book, and it has some chapters focused on explaining a few ancient greek words, while still tying the explanation to the myth of Helen of Troy.

16. it’s actually very much inspired by a concept i’m exploring in an original novel of mine, which follows, among other things, the relationship between the protagonist and his aging father, gone mad after experiencing the death of three of his kids in a war. the novel itself is inspired by the last ronin so i guess the cycle is complete.

17. “the last thing Leo remembers was taking the shovel from Raph’s unsteady hands and digging a grave deep enough to bury a secret - their arms brushed, in passing, and it stung.”

(the WIP in question is, by the way, inspired by your incredible i see things that nobody else sees, that i just adore  too much for my own good).

20. not really, but there are a few things i would've changed in execution.

21. i’m pretty much in awe at a lot of people whose works i’ve read on ao3 (or other places), there’s just so much creativity and sheer talent. oh, and there’s this writer i really admire that writes an incredible range of styles and characters, consistently creating amazing stories, and whose writing has impacted me and my own work a lot. plus, she’s very kind and sends nice asks and, oh, look! it’s you!

23. i listen to music, generally the same song, on repeat, for hours.

24. not my favorite thing. i’m alright with making them not very explicit, otherwise i kind of cringe. not sure why.

25. i don’t think so, but i might if i keep up with the angst (i will).

26. the whole concept was very hard to tackle, because i wanted it to be very raw but not misrepresent the issue. other than that, maybe the final line. it’s just a handful of words, but i rewrote it many times before i got it right.

27. a go with the flow guy! i start with a concept, with a very minimal outline, and than just go until it feels done.

28. i wish i’d been capable of not attaching my stories’ worth to how many hits or kudos they get from the start. obviously i’m glad whenever a story of mine gets attention, but i want to learn to write for myself, mostly, not only to feel rewarded. but i’m getting better at this.

29. not sure, maybe παλλακή? but i do understand it’s based on a concept not many are comfortable reading about. plus, maybe my Suburra fics, but i probably can’t expect much since they are from an almost dead fandom and in italian (and quite untranslatable, since the dialogues are in Rome’s dialect).

33. first things that comes to my mind are some comments i’ve gotten on got a good look and measured my answer. many people told me it made them feel seen at a very visceral level, and, i don’t know, it moved me a lot. 

35. i don’t really talk about my story ideas to people. my cats know all about them, though.

36. i have a few, but for now it’s mostly ideas -but i really wanna try writing something about across the spiderverse.

37. there’s a few fics i’ve improvised (both by writing and recording) with a friend of mine -they were a messy mix of disney characters and tropes. one of those predicted the Queen’s death. funny times.

38. never thought of it, so i don’t have a specific person in mind, but i’d be very interested in trying! i’ve done a collab only once with an irl friend, and i’m definitely open to do one again.

40. a couple of my irl friends do, but they haven’t read anything.

41. i have this pre-canon fic about Eddie Munson (from stranger things) that i’ve been meaning to complete for a while, and i love working on it. very coming-of-age, smalltown queer boy-ish. i hope i’ll finally get around to finish it.

42. a whole ass fixation on Ethel Cain’s music, particularly Family Tree and Inbred. i listen to those two a lot while writing, in general.

44. not from a fic but: “this room’s a narrow place. everyone is talking.”

45. i have many words to say, and i love saying them. not much more, i think.

46. the sequels are, in fact, in the making! (i hope). no spoilers, but it’s a few missing moments from the first two stories and a bit of development on Leo’s state (from very bad to normal bad, i guess).

47. so, so Leo! you’re, as usual, very correct. plus, by mentioning Ptolemea, you’ve kickstarted a whole inspiration process in my brain, and i’m definitely writing something about it. not sure about the specifics, but i’m thinking: some feral behavior; Leo being his usual mother/widow self; someone’s getting eaten alive.

48. is angst a trope? if so, angst. 

49. a mildly explicit Inuyasha fic that involved stalking and divinity. read it on my mom’s phone at a family dinner at about eleven.

(thank you for the questions!)

[softnoirr]

“There’s no feud,” Tobin mutters, but she follows her onto the bus, even as Christen scoffs a laugh. “Tell that to your post games,” She says, shooting Tobin a grin over her shoulder, one hand braced on the headrest of one of the bus seats. Tobin rolls her eyes, squeezing past Alyssa in the aisle. “Man, shut the fuck up, Toronto.”

Blaze of fear my beloved my favourite tc fic I’ve ever written and second favourite fic ever thank you <33

This scene is basically here for the purpose of establishing the dynamic in the new context. They ARE going to get along. They ARE still going to lightly bully each other. They HAVE inspired this universes version of hockeylbr to make like. stupid fucking masterposts about them and flood ao3 with 3k word fics with fucking. titles from siken poems. The Toronto fans HATE it they have Tobin’s name black listed. It’s a whole thing. Tobin is not aware of it Christen is actively egging it on.

“There’s no feud,” Tobin mutters but she follows her onto the bus, even as Christen scoffs a laugh. “Tell that to your post games,” She says

I think there’s a line somewhere in this fic (or at least one I wrote at some point) that’s like; there’s the storyline and then there is hockey. The idea that both of them are aware that a lot of the -tension- between them is a construction. It’s something that exists in the media. But if you see your name attached to something enough times it starts to feel like a part of your world. There’s no feud here while we’re in private but tell that to how the idea of you acts towards the idea of me

But ALSO. My favourite tradition in hockey is bitchy comments about the opposition while players are literally still panting for breath and covered in sweat after the game. It’s dear to my heart and one of the first images I had for this fic <3 Little skills player Tobin bitching out Christen while she’s still got so much adrenaline in her system she’s legally high à la Sidney Crosby “I don’t like him.”

Tobin rolls her eyes, squeezing past Alyssa in the aisle. “Man, shut the fuck up, Toronto.”

Two things:

A) Alyssa is here because I had a moment of. Who IS on the us team for the Olympics. Who even IS in this universe. Ashlyn is NOT a national team goaltender (the standards are higher in hockey </3 but don’t feel bad for her she gets to go to the Bahamas or whatever with known Washington Capital’s alternate captain Ali Krieger in the bye week). Alyssa is therefore the starting goaltender and also the backup on her actual NHL team bc the Canadian depth in the league in impossible to overcome </3 apologies but I deal in realism. I strongly believe Broon is also a Washington capital and also on the Olympic team and Alex should be but I don’t think I ever mention it in the fic even tho she and Tobin are supposedly friends so like… overlook that plot hole pls <3

B) Shut the fuck up, Toronto!! Tobin “I’m not even invested in this rivalry” very much directly targeting that rivalry. Not mad at Christen never annoyed with Christen just her TEAM just what she REPRESENTS keeping her DISTANCE