#this was initially supposed to be about neil but i thought andrew made more sense for this because he would stay very calm and quiet

[exy-shmexy]

What if one day, while he’s mindlessly scrolling through social media, Andrew ends up finding a random post from an organization that helps wild mustangs which have been rounded up by the government find someone to adopt them and offer them a forever home?

The next thing he knows, Andrew is sending an email to the organization.

He tells Neil during dinner the same evening. Neil asks to see the horse, and Andrew immediately shows him the photo. Neil frowns upon seeing it. He carefully reads everything that’s written in her description, and when he’s done, the only thing he asks Andrew is when they’ll go see her.

They go the next weekend. The mare is three states away from them so it’s a long drive. Andrew is practically vibrating from anticipation. He spent all of his free time learning about horses and how to care and handle them. When they arrive, someone immediately walks up to them. It’s a young woman in her early thirties who talks entirely too much. Andrew cuts her off by asking where the mare is. The woman closes her mouth to lead them to the enclosure. The chestnut mare is there, looking even smaller in real life than she did in the pictures. She’s sporting more bite marks too. Her coat looks dull, her mane and tail are completely tangled and instead of staying close to the rest of the herd, she stays in a corner on her own. She looks… defeated. While researching horses, Andrew read about potential health issues horses can have and why it’s important to have a vet come check on them before purchasing one but in that moment, Andrew doesn’t care. She could have three legs, one ear and no eye that he already knows he won’t be going back home without taking her with him. So he signs the adoption papers, pays the ridiculously low price she was attributed and gives instructions to have her transported to a small ranch a few hours away from where he and Neil live the same day. He pays an extra fee for that, but he doesn’t care. He needs to take this poor animal away from here.

That’s how the wild mustang finds herself, after long hours on the road, in a new place that looks nothing like the tall-fenced areas she had been forced into. There are other horses around alongside other animals, all of them rescues adopted by none other than Renee and Allison. They accepted to keep the wild mare in their sanctuary for as long as Andrew wants her there. Thankfully, the Exy season just ended so Andrew has plenty of time to hang around here, and plenty of time he knows he’s going to need.

The mare doesn’t let anyone approach here. From blank emptiness, her eyes have turned into frantic panic. She is lost. Afraid. Alone. Andrew spends the first few days giving her time and space to adjust to all the changes until she eventually settles down. He discusses a lot with Renee on how to best approach the situation, but she keeps repeating the best solution is patience.

Andrew arms himself with it.

The chestnut mare flees away from him every time he approaches. She is taller than him and he’s fully aware of how powerful a kick can be. So he stays on the other side of the fence for hours, slowly but surely letting the mare acclimate herself to his presence and come closer to him. It takes Andrew two weeks to be able to lay a finger against her nose. She bolts away immediately after, but then the next day she allows him to put his entire hand on her forehead. Three days later, he can finally take off the damn tag that’s been hanging around her neck this entire time.

It only goes uphill from here.

Time and patience are indeed the key.

Andrew never forces the mare to do anything. He lets her do her thing. She pulls on some weight, fills in on muscles and even lets him brush her after a few weeks. He knows she is smart. After she understands he means her no harm, their bond is sealed. Eventually she opens up to Neil too, but it is Andrew that she sees as the most trustworthy person so for a very long time he is the only one who can approach her to manipulate her and provide her for the care she needs. Andrew took a chance on a broken thing, one that was alone and afraid, that had given up hope after being misplaced so many times, and Andrew is not a fool. He knows many people would pretend she’s just an animal. But he knows that she understands. So he keeps on working every day to let their friendship bloom until eventually their bond is completely unbreakable for good.

[crazy-fangirl2524]

I read your bisexual aromantic Kevin post and omg im so intrigued! could you (if you want ofc) expand on why you think he's aromantic or other headcanons you have about it? Thank you!

Canonly, Kevin was supposed to be with Andrew and Neil. Nora was forced to cut out all that part as she thinks it’s “too much”. Thus according to this, Kevin was actually not straight but then nora changed it.

The whole fandom felt that Kevin is definitely not straight and either ship him with Andrew, Neil, Nicky, Aaron or their ocs. And it could be said that Nora used Thea as a shock factor and to just pair him up with someone. Furthermore, when renee told Neil that Andrew’s not straight Neil’s first thought was that Kevin and Andrew. Moreover, Kevin said “it’s easier to remain heterosexual,” this could imply that this was what he thought about himself.

So thats why I think Kevin day is bisexual.

“Their [Kevin and thea] relationship is built initially on intense physical attraction and athletic respect. It deepens over the years, but Exy will always be tangled up in the midst of it. They’re less about romantic getaways and more interested in beating each other up on the court.”

This is taken straight from the extra content (I know many people don’t consider that as canon, but personally I consider anything written by the author canon so bear with me for this okay). As many people didn’t actually take time to read the extra content, many may have skipped this.

This shows that at first their relationship was all physical and sexual, and only later developed into something more. However I never felt anything from Kevin and Thea and we never saw much so it’s normal to imagine that they broke up later (if you never read the extra content).

Now, we all know that Kevin is obsess with exy, (even obsess is to put it lightly). He put his whole focus on exy because that was what he was taught his entire life. The nest never allowed kevin to have any relationships and he never really find a problem with that? (I mean sure he did had a secret one with Thea but I never see that it was anything more than intrigued or sexual)

Now there’s also four and a half year age difference between Thea and Kevin, therefore, Kevin was only fourteen years old when Thea was eighteen and Kevin was a minor when their relationship began. And I hate big age differences so.

Then why not make Kevin biromantic? because every time someone ship Kevin with anyone else, they change many aspect of him. And I’m not saying that it’s not making Kevin “better” but it is literally just cutting out chunks of his character and moulding him into someone else. Kevin in the books literally never hinted to like anyone in anyway (it could be because he was already in a relationship with Thea but then Thea and him hadn’t talk since he got out of the nest and Kevin didn’t even think about telling her anything?! How does that screams a relationship to anyone? Therefore I rest my case that Kevin and Thea were only physical up until the end of tkm, the rest it depends on what one believes in)

And we rarely see aromantic characters in books or headcanon because the media made it seemed that to be complete or to heal from trauma or anything you will need someone. Yes of course people need support from others but it doesn���t necessarily have to be from your partner or someone romantically. It can be from friends and family which in my opinion is just as important as romantic relationships.

It is so easy to ship kevin with anyone. You can ship kevin with Andrew, Neil, Aaron, Nicky, Allison, Matt, jean, Jeremy. Literally anyone. He is the easiest character to ship with anyone in the books. So why the fuck not make him be satisfied with himself?! Why must we change part of him to make him suit another person when he is perfectly fine the way he is?

Honestly to be short and shallow I headcanoned him as aromantic because I want an aromantic character and all other characters are already taken lmao and I’m too lazy to make ocs for Kevin so making him aromantic make sense and I don’t want to make it about his trauma but he was literally taught to just make exy priority and nothing else so I feel like he never learn to care for relationships and then all the mafia shit and no time and Kevin couldn’t care more or else and feel like it’s wasting time and too much effort so yeah Kevin is aromantic. Oh ya and also there’s too little Kevin content on tumblr and I wanna write sth Kevin related and the first thing that pops up into mind is this. And I also have seen post saying Kevin is aro/ace but I don’t think he is asexual because the way Kevin sees Jeremy and giving his rare genuine smile yeah right straight my ass and Kevin must had been at least a little attracted to Andrew but was just too scared and had too many other things to worry about so.

[honestlyzenoouh]

Aaron Goes Big Instead Of Home (And Poor Kevin Dies A Bit Inside)

This fic is also on AO3 if you prefer to read over there :) 

This was all Neils fault, 100% the little assholes fault. It was a simple bet, a very small one indeed. The fact that Neil even agreed to the bet, should have tipped Aaron off from the very start. But sadly, Aaron is nothing but a salty bitch when it comes to Neil, and the fact the bet involved his brother was even better. He could kill two, no actually tree birds with one tiny victory. Convince his brother that his relationship with Neil was nothing but loveless sex, prove Neil wrong whilst also getting to humiliate him. Win win win.

Teeny tiny flaw in his plan though. Neil won. Neil actually got Andrew to casually display relationship like PDA. With Andrew initiating. Holding hands, kisses goodbye, softly touching hips to get by each other, the whole shebang. Fuck. Damnit. Crap. He wasn’t suppose to readily showcase his emotions towards Neil, he was suppose to prove to both Aaron and himself that the relationship was a fad, and let it fizzle out like his and Katelyns. Okay, he might have been a little bit bitter, as well as the usual annoyance Neil brings out in him, when he made the bet. Whatever.

So here Aaron stood, almost exactly six months after the bet started, in Katelyn’s bathroom just looking at the offending clothes. Katelyn and him might have broken up, but they still consider each other their platonic soulmates. The sex kinda spelled that out for them, not really enjoyable for either of them. Katelyn found out she definitely was on the asexual spectrum, where sex was only enjoyable for her sometimes. When they first got together she had laid all the cards on the table, and told him her feelings about sex, and Aaron had been very understanding and patient with her. It took a long time for their relationship to turn physical, other than the casual kissing and hand holding, and in the two and a half years they had been together, actual sex had only happened a handful of times. And only one of those times had been somewhat satisfactory for both of them.

It was after the last time they had sex, one of the worse experiences for both of them, that Katelyn suggested they might be right for each other. Aaron had wanted to argue with her, wanted to be hurt she would say such a thing, but Aaron had been having the same thoughts for a while before. Because while Katelyn might be asexual, Aaron sure as fuck wasn’t. He got urges and fantasies, and whilst he understood Katelyn didn’t, he also knew it wasn’t her fault they weren’t clicking right sexually. So they mutually decided that they might be better of as best friends instead of partners, but weren’t ready to tell people. Katelyn wasn’t ready to come out, and Aaron would like to keep his pride and not be pitied.

(The sexual identity crisis that sprung forwards in Aaron when he actually realized that it was not only Katelyn that didn’t find pleasure in their sex life is not to be spoken about. Internalized homophobia and too much alcohol doesn’t mix, too many tears, understanding Nickys, and not nearly enough answers. Whatever, he has time to figure it out when the time is right.)

The uniforms material felt way too heavy in his hands, considering it was only a two piece, yet it was surprisingly soft. He guessed that’s what happens if you actually use fabric softener, but what was he suppose to know? He didn’t care enough about his clothes to spend the extra cash on that shit. Katelyn does though, or whoever she borrowed the clothes from did.

He shifted the fabric around his fingers and actively considered forfeiting his dare. However the mere thought of letting Neil win even more, made him visible recoil and slightly nauseas. Fuck that, a thousand times over. A simple knock on the door and a voice asking if he was okay in there, got him out of his staring contest with the outfit, and mumble something even he wasn’t sure what meant.

Taking a deep breath he finally shimmed out of his pants, and pulled the undergarment of the uniform on. A bit shorter than he was used to, but not too bad. Taking off his hoodie and replacing it with the top, made it all a bit much, and way too real. He’s gonna lose his dignity as well as his masculinity to this. The bright orange Vixens uniform sat tight against his chest, but flowed nicely the rest of the way down. Turning a bit this way and that, he got to study his whole body. His ass which normally was kinda flat, popped a bit with the skirt accentuating its shape flatteringly. His shoulder and biceps got the same treatment with the tanktop’s broad straps. So maybe not all masculinity is lost to this. Gathering a bit of his spite for Neil, and general courage, he finally unlocked the door. Finding his last fucks to give after a couple of more moments, he also opened the door. Luckily, it was only Katelyn waiting for him. She moved her head from her phone and smiled from her upside down position on the couch.

“You good?” She simply asked him. Kneading the fabric of the skirt, and pulling at it a bit he nodded.

“As good as I’m gonna get, wearing a skirt because of a stupid fucking bet. I’m so stupid.” Pulling  a bit more on the skirt, he looked around. “Where are the others? I just really wanna get this over and done with” Katelyn helpfully pointed downward, hopefully meaning Fox Towers third floor and not the parking lot. Sighing and looking at her with tense shoulders, a question all by it self, she only raised an eyebrow and gave him a look. Obviously not the parking lot, who did he think she was? A monster? Him lifting one of his now unclenched shoulders, no, but you do enjoy to slightly bullying me, so why not. Katelyn snorted and finally got up from the couch.

“I thought about it, not going to lie to you, but your face when I gave you the uniform made me reconsider. You looked like a kicked puppy, it was so sad.” Aaron grunted to make his displeasure know, but followed her to the front door. He only hesitated a bit going through, so little only people who really knew him would realize. Luckily, (or unluckily, depending on how you view it) Katelyn was one of those very few people, and she put an arm around his shoulders for comfort. Together they walked the short way to stairs and down the two flights from fifth to the third floor, thankfully without running into anyone. The hallway of the third floor also blessedly empty, gave Aaron a false sense of fortitude. Holding on to it, until it became as genuine as it’s gonna be, he looked up to Katelyn, “Which room?”

After a quick glance at her phone, she nodded towards the upperclassmen’s room. Great, so Neil roped the whole team together to witness this. Fucker. Shaking off the rest of his nerves, he shrugged off Katelyn’s arm and walked up to the door. Opening and stepping inside made his heart start pounding, but nothing happened. Literally nobody was even looking at him, or acknowledging his presence at all. All eyes seem to be on his twin, currently laying face down on the floor. “This is the worst day of my life” came muffled from the floor. Looking from face to face, Aaron finally made eye contact with someone. Sadly that someone was Neil.

Raising an eyebrow at him, Aaron silently dared him to comment. Unable to backdown, Neil did just that. “Okay Minyard, that’s a bit low, even for you” Nodding towards Aarons chest area whilst he said so, made Aaron look down at the v-neck. Sure it was a bit deep, considering his lack of boobs, but it wasn’t that bad. The v stopped at about the middle of his chest, pale blond hairs exposed to world for once. Bracing himself once again for all the attention that was bound to come his way, now that Neil had spoken to him, he took another step into the room, Katelyn right behind him. But still, all eyes except for Neils’ were on his twin as an unenthusiastic “fuck you” came from the floor. This time it was Neil that raised an eyebrow, want to make a game of this? Aaron nodded once, intrigued with this whole situation.

“Seriously A, isn’t this a bit over the top?” Neil gestured a bit with his hands, presumably meaning the Vixens uniform. Fair question, when the forfeit only specified a skirt. But Aaron kinda lived by go big or go home, and when he asked Katelyn if he could borrow a skirt, and the only thing she had he would be able to fit in was the uniform he said fuck it. To answer Neils question he nodded towards Katelyn, who gave a tiny wave. A look of understanding crossed his face when an answer came from the floor. “This is a perfectly reasonable reaction” This startled a laugh out of Nicky, and made Kevin look up from Andrew towards Neil. When he saw him looking nowhere near Andrew he followed Neils eyesight and caught sight of Aaron. His eyes widened and he stood stock still, but not a noise or word passed through him. Aaron didn’t get the time to analyze that particular reaction, as Neil once more spoke up.

“Right, sure. Kevin, what is your take on the situation? I mean, he only lost a bet, isn’t that a bit overly dramatic?” The mischievous grin he wore didn’t bore well for Aaron. He knew something Aaron didn’t, that fucker. When all Kevin seemed able of answering was a stuttery mess, the foxes finally shifted their attention away from Andrew, most likely to laugh at Kevins inability to talk. Yet, once they saw Kevins now slightly awed expression, and both his and Neils direction of sight, they subsequently came to look in Aarons direction.

What followed was probably the most awkward five seconds of Aarons life. It started as a stunned silence, which was broken by Kevin sadly saying “This is a very bad time to have an identity crisis.”, after that all hell seemed to break loose. Nicky and Allison were actively trying to get Kevin to elaborate on that, and close some bets for them. Matt and Dan were looking at each other, and then at Aaron seemingly trying to work out how best to approach the situation. The new foxes tried to gently blend into the background and disappear with no luck. Only Renee was brave enough to face him. “Hello Aaron, I like your outfit. Is this a new thing we might see more often?”

The innocent question floored Aaron for a bit, and shut the foxes up again. Sure he was still trying to figure out his sexuality, but his gender identity was never a question for him. But now that he was thinking about it, he didn’t actually mind wearing the skirt. Sure it wasn’t completely comfortable, but it was a sports uniform. His own was made of the same kinda fabric and had the same feel, so he was use to that. But if he found a more modest skirt in more comfortable fabric, he didn’t think he’d mind it all that much. I did make his ass pop. Really thinking about that fact made his brain momentarily shut down. Once rebooted he looked Renee in the eyes and answered

“I don’t, I don’t think so? I mean, I’m not sure? It might? Can I get back to you on that one?” Trying to be more open with foxes had been a thing he’s been working on as a new years resolution, but here two months later, it was still really hard. Admitting that hurt a little. Shifting his attention towards Neil again he suddenly realized something. “You didn’t tell them did you?”

“No, I didn’t actually think you would go through with it.” He shrugged his shoulders and smirked at Aaron

“Tell us what?” Came from floor. Andrew had finally decided to join the conversation, apparently. He had only turned his face from directly down, to towards Aaron at the door. He didn’t seem too judgmental, only a bit confused. Ever since Bee had finally convinced Andrew to try a new type of medication, to treat his bipolar disorder and depression, Andrew had become a whole new person. A much more readable person, but you still can’t be a 100% sure with him.

“I made a bet with Neil, and obviously lost. So my punishment was to go out of my comfort zone in the clothes department, considering and I quote; I bitch so much about his. I thought a skirt was the most out there for me. Why are you lying on floor?” Ah, the dreaded communication they needed to better. They were getting there, albeit slowly. Bee helped a lot.

“Andrew got cocky about his biceps, and Matt challenged it with an arm wrestle match. As you can probably guess, Andrew lost.” Dan cheerfully informed from beside Matt, who looked rightfully smug. This made Andrew turn downwards agin and groan sadly. “I benchpress more than any of you” was spoken into the floor. This made the foxes laugh once more. Aaron shuffled a bit from foot to foot, and made the tactful decision to leave with all the focus on his brother. He technically did do the forfeit after all. Get out of his comfort zone and show at least 4 different foxes. Whether it was individually or in a group was up to him.

When he got to his room and about to close the door, he got stopped by a hand on the frame. A very uncomfortable looking Kevin was the owner of said hand. He opened and closed his mouth a couple times, and took a big breath, but didn’t say anything. He then got into motion and just walked into the room. Well then. “What do you want Kevin?” Crossing his arm across his chest, Aaron “patiently” awaited an answer.

“Go on date. Me with. I mean, uuuhhh” Aaron’s brain shut down once more, and this time the reboot apparently took a little too long, because when he refocused in on Kevin once more the man was fidgeting. Which wasn’t something Aaron had ever seen him do. What the fuck was happening here? Was Kevin actually asking him out? And more importantly, why was he asking him out? As far as Kevin was concerned, him and Katelyn was still happily together. He tried to come up with an answer, but Kevin’s flickering eyes threw him off. They kept going from his face to the skirt and then landing on the v neckline. It was almost a pattern. His eyes went from the skirt to his face again when he suddenly spoke up again.

“You need to change. I just. I can’t think, and I really want to talk to you, because I overheard Nicky one time, but I don’t really know if it was just Nicky being Nicky or if it’s actually true. I did ask him but he shut down and wouldn’t even look at me for three days after, so I don’t know for sure. So can you make me think? I mean change. Pl- if you could be as kind.”

Aaron thought he nodded before he turned and walked in to the dorms bedroom, but he honestly wasn’t sure. So many thoughts swirled around in his head, made it hard to concentrate on getting changed. Had Nicky really been so careless he accidentally outed him? It was with Nicky he had had his sexuality revelation and cry with, that cursed night after a Trip to Eden.

It had been a few weeks after Katelyn and him had called it off relationship wise, and Aaron had been having these weird feelings and his mind kept supplying him with these random observation. Objectively speaking, your Chemistry 102 TA is attractive. His sharp cheekbones and plumb lips are attractive features to have. The boy sitting across from you smells nice, wonder what cologne he uses? The man behind the counter at the coffee shop had really nice eyes. They were a warm brown you could get a little lost in.

He had just crossed the doorway into the house when the thought hit him. What if the reason that sex with Katelyn wasn’t satisfying for him, wasn’t because of the fact that Katelyn was asexual and weren’t as in to it as he was, but because she was a girl? What if the reason he seemingly couldn’t have as good an orgasm with a partner then alone, was because he had the wrong gendered partner. He had had earlier girlfriends in high school, both before and after Andrew had arrived, but he always seemed to excuse the bad sex as inexperience. But what if it wasn’t?

That had floored Aaron completely, and he had taken a stuttered breath and stumbled to the couch so he could sit down. Nobody seemed to pay him any mind, hopefully just chalking it up to drunken behavior, not the life revelation it had been. Neil and Andrew hadn’t been drinking that night, and they wasted no time bringing their things up to Andrew’s bedroom to go to bed.  Kevin had stayed at Palmetto to spend the weekend with his father, but Nicky had bargained with Andrew for them to go to Columbia anyway, and gotten his way somehow. (Aaron hadn’t asked, didn’t really want to know.) When they arrived at Eden he had all but begged Aaron to drink with him. So Aaron had matched him drink for drink, and actually had a good time. He even danced a bit with a random person with a pixie cut and let a little loose.

He hadn’t realized the tears gathering, nor the way his breathing had picked up until Nicky appeared out of nowhere sitting down next to him. He had swirled his head to look Nicky in the eyes, and the easy going smile he had on his face died when he saw Aaron’s face. He must have looked terrified because Nicky sounded completely sober when he spoke,

“Aaron are you okay? What’s wrong? Did something happen at Eden? Should I go get Andrew?” The more he spoke, the faster the words spilled out and the more panicked he sounded. Aaron tried to draw in a breath to answer him, but it got stuck in his throat so he just shook his head desperately. He really didn’t want to include Andrew too, and rather die than include Neil. Nicky had nodded his head, but still looked at him worriedly. When he finally mastered the art of breathing again he blurted out what he should have said ages ago, even before his little revelation.

“I’m sorry Nicky, I’m so sorry” He crumbled while he said it, and his head had landed in Nicky’s lap. The tears had started to fall about halfway through his apology and he didn’t predict them to stop anytime soon. But neither did the muttered apologies, I’m so sorry spoken softly into Nicky’s thigh. Nicky was bordering on hysteric at that point, franticly petting his hair and seemingly answering Aaron’s apologies

“It’s okay, I forgive you! I don’t really know what you’re apologizing for, but it can’t be that bad! Sure, you’re kinda an asshole, but you’re apologizing so you’re not that big of one. Why do you keep apologizing? It’s okay, I’m right here. Whatever you did I’m always gonna be in your corner, so please stop crying I don’t know what to do! How can I help? If you don’t calm down I’ll have to go get Andrew because I really don’t know how to help you if you don’t speak to me, and I’m starting to get really worried now. Please talk to me.”

It was only when Nicky had started to shift around, as if trying to get up, that Aaron finally snapped out of it. He wrapped his arms tightly around Nicky’s legs and shook his head, turning around to look up at him with pleading eyes. Nicky had looked back at him, tears in his eyes as well and shifted once more. “I’m giving you two minutes to start explaining or I’m getting him. This will not go unspoken of, do you hear me Aaron? I’m pretty sure you’re having a mental break down or something, and you can’t keep that all inside. That is super unhealthy and can cau-“

“I think I might be gay” Nicky had gotten very quiet and still, just looking at Aaron and blinking rapidly. Aaron took a steadying breath and wiped his face free of tears, head still in Nicky’s lap. Figuring fuck it, I already said the hardest part he continued speaking, voice croaking making it deeper than normal.

“I don’t actually know, I just. I keep having these thoughts ever since Katelyn and I broke up, which we did like, a month ago, and I think my brain is just now connected the dots because apparently I’m fucking stupid, and can’t figure out that sex wasn’t as satisfying as regular masturbation, was not because the people I’m with are bad at it, but because they don’t have what I need. Or is it the bad thing and I’m only overanalyzing? The only thing I’m really sure of right now is the fact I’m a huge asshole for giving you and Andrew such a hard time for being gay, when I might be it too. That and apparently I find my chemistry TA hot, and like the way men smell and what is wrong with me?” Aaron sniffed and a few more tears fell from his eyes. They were starting to feel a bit sore now. Aaron had jumped when Nicky suddenly took a huge breath and whispered something that sounded like okay, you can do this. Making eye contact with his older cousin he got a small smile. He reached down wipe the last of the tears away, and began petting his hair again. Much more soothingly this time around.

“So this is a lot to unpack, so what do you say we take it in small bites hmm?” When all Aaron did was nod, he continued on, “So you and Katelyn broke up? Are you okay in regards to that?”

Aaron looked down at his hands, playing with his fingers but answered him, “Yeah, about a month ago. Maybe a little longer. It was an actual mutual decision, something we both felt needed to be done. We had a big fat discussion about our feelings and called it quits. We just aren’t ready to tell just yet. Might not for a while to be honest. She has some things to work through, and she’s my best friend so of course I’ll put it off for as long as she needs.” Shrugging his shoulders he looked up again.

“Okay then, I’m happy to hear you’re doing okay there. These… thoughts you mentioned, what exactly do you mean?” Wincing a little, Aaron had tried to clarify his brains jumbled observations. They sat on the couch talking about each and everything Aaron had been feeling and thinking about those past two months. Aaron found that Nicky could be surprisingly quiet and understanding, and that it was really cathartic to talk about it all. So apparently Aaron could see the attractiveness about guys, but he didn’t know if he wanted to date them. Kissing had crossed his mind once or twice, but quickly shut down because he wasn’t ready to think about it.

The last thing Aaron had asked of Nicky before they went to bed that night, a few hours later, was that he kept quiet. He wasn't ready to explore his sexuality, let alone come out. Nicky had given him an understanding smile and sighed out of course.

A knock on the door startled Aaron out of his memory and into the present again. Shrugging his hoodie over his head he decided to just get it over and done with. Fucking Kevin sticking his nose where it doesn't belong. When he was fully dressed once more, he walked over to the door and ripped it open.

"What do you want Kevin?" He said maybe a little too forcefully. Kevin had moved away from the door, and was sitting at the couch Matt had supplied the living room with. He gestured to the other end where he was sitting. Sighing to make his displeasure known, he got to the couch and plopped down. Looking over at the other boy he repeated his question, a bit more mellow this time. Kevin was sitting with his legs curled up under him, his right hand playing with the fabric of his pants.

"A date, ideally. With you, specifically." His face was set in a small smile, eyes sparkling hopefully. Aaron's heart sank a little, so Nicky had outed him. Accidental or not, that still shot a pang of panic and hurt through him. Before he could muster up the energy to answer him, Kevin continued,

"I don't actually know if you'd be interested, or even actually into boys. About three weeks ago, I overheard Nicky speaking to who I assume was Erik, considering he was speaking some german. He kept switching between english and german though, and going on a tangent about queerness being genetic, the twins, and breaking up with girlfriends. Never mentioning any names. So I don't- I'm not actually sure it was you he was talking about. I tried to ask him but he just shouted no, hung up the phone and all but ran away from me. He haven’t really spoken to me yet. I think he feels bad, because I overheard him.”

A feeling of relief spread through Aaron. Even though Nicky had spoken about their conversation from months ago, he had worded it so only people who knew Nicky intimately would have a clue. Or simply think he was talking about Andrew. Still feeling some of his earlier panic, Aaron opened his mouth to profusely deny deny deny, not at all ready to talk about his sexuality again, he remembered a tiny detail from Kevin’s explanation. If he had overheard Nicky three weeks ago, why in the world hadn’t he said anything? Either to him or the others? Closing his mouth again, Aaron tried to calculate what would happen if he “came out” to Kevin. He wasn’t even sure what the ever-loving fuck he was, other than not straight, but if Kevin had held tight for those three weeks maybe he would for however long it took for Aaron to figure it out. One small parentheses made the equation hard though. Kevin’s apparent desire to date Aaron. Aaron might not be the best at math, but a huge glaring pair of parentheses in an equation needed to be addressed first, in order to solve said equation. Right? Aaron’s pre-med not a simple math major, how was he supposed to know?

“Why?” It had slipped out of Aaron’s lips without permission, but he really needed to know before they got any further in this equation. Why now? Why him? Kevin furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head slightly, apparently not getting Aaron’s question. Aaron elaborated his inner thoughts, and the questions made Kevin pause. A slight flush rose across his cheeks, but it didn’t take long for him to gather his thoughts, only a shake of his head.

“So, I’ve been talking to Bee right? In the process of becoming sober” Aaron nodded, not really in the mood to actually talk right now. Luckily, Kevin continued on.

“Okay, so. She hasn’t just been helping me getting sober, also just. Better? In general. We have been talking trough my growing up, and Riko and Andrew. Just. Everything I guess. It made me realize some things, and she has been encouraging me to do something about it. I haven’t wanted to, until three weeks ago, where I heard I might have an actual chance.” He shrugged his shoulders, now looking down at his lap, really focusing on the piece of fabric between his fingers. Aaron’s mouth went a little dry at that implication, not that he really knew why.

He thought all bravery had left his body, after having to endure his forfeit, but apparently not because he felt himself reaching his right hand across and over Kevin’s left. It made him start and look up at Aaron. Sitting there with his hand over Kevins made him feel the same sense of fuck it, as he had with Nicky all those weeks ago. So throwing caution into the wind, he unstuck his tongue from the roof of his mouth, and asked what he thought was the most pressing matter.

“What did you realize?” Kevin’s face went from flush to straight up red, but he kept his eyes locked with Aaron.

“Apparently it is possible to admire people of the same sex aesthetically, and not just because of their exy skills. And that I find your personality and general body incredibly attractive.”

Kevin’s voice had gone down an octave, and the sound of it sent a shot of something, through his stomach. The very same something he has been feeling pertaining his chemistry TA lately. Great, now he also found fucking Kevin hot. Not that that might be a problem with Kevin considering the resent confession. Though now that he really thought about it, Kevin really is an attractive person. He has sharp cheek bones, but his green eyes softens his face up, so he doesn’t look so severe. His nose is slightly upturned, but with a tiny bump on the bridge, which is something Aaron hadn’t noticed before. Wonder where he got it from? Exy most likely. His thighs has the same kind of muscle definition that Katelyn has, which is something Aaron has always found arousing.

He should probably say something though, instead of just mindlessly looking at Kevin. The poor dude looked about one breath away from a minor break down. He shook his head to clear it from his Kevin related epiphany.

“Fuck it okay, all cards on the table?” He gestured with his left hand, just now noticing his right still laying over Kevins. When he got a hesitant nod from him, he continued on now determined.

“I don’t actually know what I am, other than maybe not straight. Katelyn and I are broken up yes, but we haven’t actually told anyone. Not ready yet” A slight flush rose across his own cheeks when he thought about his next admission, “And I kinda find you aesthetically pleasing as well.”

A small smile spread across Kevin’s face and he opened his mouth, but Aaron cut him of before any words could come through. “But! But, I really don’t know what that means. And I don’t think it’s fair for you, if I didn’t make that abundantly clear first. Your face is attractive, I think, and I know you enough to feel safe maybe starting a thing with you. Just, some minor things before you ask me again?”

Kevin nodded his head quickly and opened his mouth again, but once again Aaron cut him off before he could speak. “Okay so one;” He held a finger up on the hand not holding Kevin’s. 

“I’m nowhere near ready to tell people about anything related to my sexuality, so if we do this. It’d have to be in complete secret,” Another finger joined the first one and he went on. “Two, we’d have to take it slow. I don’t know what I’m comfortable with, or how far I’m willing to go, so you’d need to be patient with me. Possibly really patient with me.”

He raised a third finger to go with his last bit.

“And lastly but most important, you need to tell me if things isn’t working for you anymore. I know I come with a lot of rules and regulations, but I need to figure out if this is really for me. You feel safe enough for me to try with specifically, but if that ever ends up not being enough for you, you tell me. Immediately. That is very important to me. If there is one thing my relationship with both Katelyn and Andrew have taught me anything it is honesty is super important. Well, and consent but you know Andrew too so of course you know that. Okay, you can talk now.” He unfurled his hand, and waved it at Kevin’s to demonstrate his point. Kevin looked a little shell shocked after being loaded with all that information, and he took a moment but finally he spoke, his small smile lighting up his eyes.

“Yeah, I can work with that.”

It was spoken softly, and it took Aaron an extra two seconds to realize what Kevin meant. He still wanted to “date” Aaron, even with all these rules. And he had not seen that coming, expecting Kevin to give up and find someone new to pester about dating. He hadn’t really taking his stubbornness into consideration, which really was an oversight on Aaron’s part, and predicted this would happened.

“Ask me again.” He challenged him, a small part of him still excepting him to not go through with it. And by now, Aaron kinda really wanted to go on this gay adventure with Kevin.

Kevin’s smile grew in size, and made a dimple appear in his right cheek, another thing Aaron hadn’t noticed Kevin do(had, could?), and he shifted closer to Aaron. He shifted his left hand so they were holding hands, rather than Aaron holding Kevins, and took hold of his right hand as well, placing both in his lap. Aaron could feel his cheeks warming up, but didn’t hinder his movements.

“Would you like to go on a date with me? And maybe hold a little hands with me? That’s all I ask for now, and we can figure adjustments out as we see fit in the future. And secrecy is okay with me at the moment, and I promise to tell you if I change my mind.”

Aaron’s whole upper body felt warm now, most likely a blush, but he also felt surprisingly excited. This had suddenly turned into a thing Aaron really wanted to explore. Mirroring Kevin’s smile he answered, feeling confident in his mental math. This equation wasn’t so hard to solve as the first one.

“Yeah okay, I think I’d really like that”

Part 1 of “Aaron Tries His Best”

1 - 2(coming soon)

[jemej3m]

The fake exes AU is INCREDIBLE!!! You captured all the characters so well. Are you planning on continuing it (no pressure if not but !!! if so)

when am i planning on continuing it…. how about now?

smile and wave boys p1 here

*

Neil bashed against the flat’s door with his fist, knocking continuously even when the door handle turned.

“Jesus Christ,” The Andrew look-alike snapped, giving Neil a once-over. “The fuck do you want?”

“You’re not Andrew.” He remarked. They were identical in every sense of the word, same hair, same eyes, both with glasses and a firm set to their frowns. But this was decidedly not the man Neil had slipped into routine with at Sweeties, and Neil didn’t have the time to be dealing with clones. “Where’s Andrew?”

The doppelganger looked over his shoulder. “The fuck have you done this time?” Turning back to give Neil another derisive glare, he walked away from the door. Andrew quickly took his place, dressed in sweats and distinctly unimpressed.

“How the fuck did you figure out where I live?” He crossed his arms and was still wearing those sheathed armbands, even within the confines of his own flat.

“Everyone living on campus’ addresses are in the logbooks.” Neil said.

“And those are confidential.” Andrew pointed out, stepping back. “Goodbye.”

“That’s not the main concern here,” Neil insisted, sticking out his hand to stop Andrew from closing the door. “Will you just please -”

“Don’t.” He said, deceptively calm. “I hate that word.”

Neil took a deep breath. “Alright. Fine. Come with me. To Sweeties. I’ll shout you a coffee.”

Andrew pinched the bridge of his nose and drew in a breath before resting the most unimpressed glare Neil had ever witnessed upon him. It didn’t matter. Andrew muttered out “Fine.” and disappeared within his flat once more. Five minutes later he appeared in jeans and a black sweater, wallet tucked into his back pocket.

Christ. Neil had no idea how the fuck he was supposed to explain this to a man who was probably the definition of an antagonist. How was he supposed to justify any of this?

If Andrew noticed Neil’s anxiety as they walked to the cafe, he elected to ignore it, instead hooking his thumbs into his pockets and dawdling like he had nothing better to do. He truly was the definition of infuriating.

When they’d finally sat down - in their corner, nonetheless - Andrew crossed his legs at the ankle and opened his hands. “Well, Josten? I assume you didn’t invite me out for my company.”

“No,” He admitted, fingers tracing the circular scars on the back of his hand. “I seem to have found myself in a bit of a situation.”

“Is that so.”

“I misjudged many things.”

“As you often do.”

“And then I may have accidentally involved you way more intricately than initially intended.”

Andrew’s eyes narrowed. “What.”

“Well -” Neil grit his teeth. “I mean, really, it started because I was - am - friends with Allison and that lot, and they know a lot of people, but I don’t. So someone walks up to me and asks if he knows me: We realise we have friends in common, all is fine and well, he talks a lot but he’s fine. But he one day decides to ask about my love life, and asks specifically what I did on my last date.” Andrew hadn’t zoned out yet, which was more than what Neil expected.

He continued on. “I don’t really want to tell him that I’ve never dated or been particularly interested because it’s apparently too complex for anyone to understand, so I lied. I told him that my last date hadn’t really worked out, but then…” He sucked in a deep breath. “He asked who it was and I gave him the name of someone I was so sure he wouldn’t know, so that he couldn’t hassle them for the truth. That was you.”

Andrew’s eyes were two judgemental slits. Like a snake waiting to eat but having to wait for the poison to work first. Neil soldiered on regardless.

“Except -” He grimaced. “The man just happened to be your cousin, and I had no idea he was your cousin till he told me. After I’d told him we went on a date. So - yeah.” He deflated into the cushion.

“You told Nicky we went on a date.” Andrew said, flatly.

Neil nodded, miserable.

Andrew looked him up and down, made a scathing sound and said “Fine. I won’t say anything.”

Neil let out a indistinguishable noise of relief. “Oh, thank fuck. We should probably figure out what to tell Nicky if he asks, right? Because he will ask.”

“No need.” Andrew flicked his fingers dismissively. “Saturday morning coffee at Sweeties. I vaguely know enough about you that it should be convincing.”

“I never thought I’d have to rely on you to save my ass.” Neil remarked, standing up as he drained his coffee. Andrew followed him silently out the door of the cafe, where he immediately turned and walked in the opposite direction to Neil’s walk home.

“Andrew, wait.” He walked briskly after the man and reached out to grab his arm: When Andrew moved out of his reach, he pulled back, and waited for the man to turn around instead.

Andrew arched a delicate brow.

“We’ll still do Saturdays, won’t we?” He rocked back onto his heels, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I mean, we’re technically fake exes but it won’t change anything, right?”

Andrew exhaled through his nose and closed his eyes briefly, before pulling out a lighter and fiddling with it, occasionally sparking the flame. When he looked at Neil again it was from beneath hooded eyes, peering up through his lashes.

“No. It won’t.” He promised.

Neil smiled, jogging backwards. “Okay. Oh, and thanks.” He swivelled on his heel to run home, and only looked back once: Andrew was staring pointedly at his lighter, leant against Sweeties’ brick exterior.

Neil shook his head to himself. He always found himself in these odd situations that he just barely was able to wriggle out of. Maybe one day he’d learn, and his life would become less…ridiculous.

Until then, he’d deal with the consequences.

*

aah hahahh hahh aaaa

[xlady-saya]

I want this touch to be familiar [Ch. 2]

Relationships: andrew/neil, side aaron/katelyn

Summary: Deep down, Andrew knew he would always reach this crossroads, a time where the thought became too strong to ignore.

Going all the way with Neil. It’s not something he can continue to avoid thinking about. When Andrew looks back to the days where he held Neil’s hands down, when he never got off with him in the same room, he’s forced to acknowledge how much he’s allowed.

Not allowed. Welcomed. Wanted.

But that’s not all there is to it, and the desire to make a decision finally makes itself known.

Tags: first time fic, p*rn with feelings, relationship study, fluff and communication, multichapter

Read on ao3!

Andrew is a planner.

This is one thing he's not afraid to admit about himself; most events in his life have been unplanned, disastrous things which he can only try to wrangle in the moment they make themselves known. However, if he has the time and foresight, he's much more inclined to plot out every move, making sure there are no slip-ups. Minimal error.

Thinking about and minimizing the damage to himself is new, since beforehand he wouldn't bother to care. In this case, his own reactions are things he'll have to deal with in the moment, since his limit here is unknown. He's never done this with anyone.

For now, his sole focus becomes Neil.

Of course, he knows with something like this it's impossible to get it perfect. He's more experienced than Neil, despite the fact he's never been intimate with someone on his own terms; he knows how it works, knows what to expect and all the ways it can go wrong.

He knows it most likely will be uncomfortable the first time, but can he make the good outweigh that?

At the thought, Andrew grumbles to himself, shaking his head over his cup of coffee. It's been a few weeks since that initial conversation, and his head has been a balancing act of sexual tension and precaution. He's planning as if he's made up his mind, though it's the farthest thing from the truth.

But, necessary. He needs to treat this like it's real, or it'll never sink in.

And well, the sexual part of it feels very real. His overactive mind has made sure to spin the fantasy at him almost daily, and he's been powerless against it. The thought of Neil splayed out in front of him is not something he'll ever be adverse to. Lately, Andrew's libido has spiked, doubling from what is normal. If Neil knows the reason, he hasn't chosen to comment on it, and just seems happy to satisfy Andrew in whatever way he can.

A curl of warmth unfurls in his chest, and he slides his gaze over to where Neil sits on the floor, legs kicked up as he runs through his calculus homework. The gym shorts he has on slip a little, revealing odd patterns of discoloration. Andrew can only assume they're burns.

He's real, so painfully real Andrew feels the need to shield him from a threat that's not even there. Neil isn't scared of him, Andrew isn't scared of Neil. For all their hostility, they fit.

They prepare for the worst, gentleness often escapes them, and they've never minded each other's harshness.

Even still...

Silently, he pours Neil a cup of coffee into the god awful fox mug Nicky made him at Color Me Mine, the eyes sagging and crossed, and sets it beside him on the floor.

Neil’s head tilts up just enough to smile sleepily at him, and Andrew's insides twist painfully. Harshly, he pushes Neil's head down, back to his homework, and tries not to let the soft laugh cloud his thoughts anymore.

For all his severity, none of which Andrew is ashamed of, he finds himself itching to give Neil the opposite. And he does, when he thinks about it. Andrew tries his best not to roll his eyes; Neil ends up being right at the most annoying times.

Andrew wouldn't mean to hurt him, it's true. Andrew would never willingly hurt Neil these days, he simply doesn't have the capability. But intention is seldom enough for him. He'll do this right; it's the reason he's set up a plan in the first place.

Yet, plans are hard to keep together. Steps should be easy to follow, checked off.

1. Talk to Bee

2. Talk to Roland

3. Do his own research

Simple, direct; that's what Andrew thought when he put the plan into action. Bee would be able to reveal the things Andrew could not yet see, pick his brain until the maze had a map. Roland would have experience with this, he'd be able to tell Andrew what it's like when it's consensual, the do's and don'ts. From then on, Andrew should've been able to piece the puzzle together and fill in the gaps with cold, hard information. There's only so much he can do to prepare, but he'll cover all his bases.

The plan was supposed to do all that, but hiccups forever plagued Andrew's life. Bee's words were weights, necessary, still sitting with him even now. And Roland, well, that had almost gone well.

At the memory, Andrew glares. The night before, he'd gone to talk with Roland alone, no stress or obligation to keep an eye on his family while he tried to sort this out. He told Neil, wrapped around him in bed, because it's not something he felt ashamed sharing. The reasoning was another story.

And Neil, stupid, understanding Neil, hadn't even questioned it, blindly trusting Andrew to tell him later. It would be agonizing, but Andrew would do it.

Keeping things from Neil nowadays is almost like an allergy, irritating.

It should've been uneventful. At most, he expected Roland to be obnoxious about it, which he was...

"Ohoho, it's about time indeed," the bartender crowed above the loud music of the club, spilled alcohol sticking to Andrew's boot soles. He grit his teeth. Andrew tried his best not to give too much away when he asked Roland to follow him to the backrooms, but Roland's shocked face when he brought it up forced Andrew’s hand.

It wasn't like that, it wouldn't ever be like that again and Roland knew it, was probably worried something had happened with Neil to make Andrew seek out something physical.

So naturally, Andrew told him the gist of his situation, his intentions to go all the way with Neil, and Roland had run away with it in triumph. The bartender's smirk made Andrew want to turn around and walk right out of there immediately. As if sensing Andrew's need to retreat, Roland leaned closer into his personal space, never a fast learner.

Andrew doesn't know what he ever saw in him.

"Shut up and let's go," Andrew growled in the small space between them, and Roland laughed at his expense without care. Andrew had to remind himself Roland was his only direct resource, unless he wanted to ask Nicky, which he would never do.

Whatever, Andrew would not have this conversation in public.

"Alright, alright lover boy," Roland sighed, raising his hands with a wink. Andrew employed Neil's tactic for a moment, counting to ten in German. "I'm just happy for you. C'mon."

Andrew didn't bother to respond to that.

The relief that took root in Andrew's chest was short lived, so short lived he didn't even have to shove it down himself. He pushed off the counter to follow Roland through the throngs of drunk college students, the itch in his head gearing towards the information he was about to be given, when he saw her.

The one and only, Ms. I doodle my last name as Minyard in my notebooks--Katelyn.

Andrew froze; and saw the exact moment she knew she'd been caught. She was midstep, legs locked in an awkward position, but she didn't seem to be aware. It would've been satisfying, seeing Aaron's cheerleader so thrown off if it weren't for the look on her face. Andrew could see the assumptions swimming there before the idiot was probably even aware of them, her eyes, so close in color to Neil's but not the same at all, glancing between him and Roland.

For a brief moment, cruelty sparked in Andrew's veins at being read in such a way; it was foreign, this particular anger. He never cared before what people thought of him, least of all Aaron's perfect girlfriend. Andrew knew people thought he was a monster, it never mattered, because Neil didn't.

Yet, the whole reason he was there at all was to avoid hurting Neil as much as possible, so the suspicion on Katelyn's face made him want to commit murder. He might've, but then the idiot rolled her ankle, preserving the progress he'd made with Aaron over the past year and a half.

He couldn't kill her, he couldn't leave her there either.

Aaron's words echoed in his skull; 'Our feelings are the same.'

So inconvenient, so annoying, but so impossible to avoid.

Andrew remembers glancing back at Roland, knowing they wouldn't be having that talk after all, not right then. He remembers his skin crawling as he hauled Katelyn into his car, her words setting him on edge but reminding him that some people still had the capacity to surprise him.

The word 'love' tossed into the mix of mayhem.

Katelyn had put a lot of unnecessary thoughts in his head, but Andrew came back from that night clear headed, not necessarily about the sex situation, but about how he had been handling it.

Guess she isn't totally useless.

Speaking of...

"Good morning!" Katelyn sing-songs into the living area, and Neil flinches from the abruptness. The old instinct to run is hard to bury, and Andrew watches reality settle in as his muscles go slack again. Andrew misses the peace already, but he's the one who left the door open for Aaron in the first place.

Katelyn waves at Neil sheepishly for having spooked him, hopping along on her better ankle to lean against the small counter. Andrew rolls his eyes internally from how Aaron hovers, always there in case Katelyn decides to do another swan dive to the floor.

There's a pause then, one which isn't usually there. Katelyn's eyes land on Andrew and stay there, which in itself is odd. Up until this point, their understanding has been clear. Normally, Katelyn would ignore him, keep her distance. She still does, staying out of his immediate bubble. Yet, this time she offers him a genuine smile, and Andrew hopes last night hasn't given her any ideas about how things are going to be from now on. "Hi Andrew."

Ah, but looks like it has. Great.

Despite the twitch this realization causes, Andrew only hesitates momentarily before he offers her a nod, and ignores the way his brother blanches. Katelyn, thankfully, doesn't treat it as more than what it is, and carries on with whatever breakfast concoction she has in mind. A cook, she is not, and Andrew has no intention of eating it.

He feels Neil's smug smile in the corner of his eye, and dutifully ignores it in favor of watching his brother move seamlessly around his girlfriend. They touch purposefully, and often, like a dance with added steps just for the sake of staying close.

Aaron's arm slides against Katelyn's lower back, and she bites her lip, a blush rising to the tops of her ears. It's not subtle, but it's also not something anyone would bat an eye at.

Why Andrew can see the difference, he isn't sure, but it's there. There's a clinginess between them, more than usual, a product of Aaron's protectiveness and something else.

Looks like after Matt and Dan had fallen asleep, someone else in that dorm had decided to get handsy.

Andrew stuffs down his disgust at the thought; he seldom agrees with Nicky, but thinking of Aaron having any kind of sex is abhorrent, worse when it's straight.

His brother makes it seem so simple though, doesn't he?

He and his twin spent so many years being on the opposite ends of everything that their recent developments make Andrew even more painfully aware of how they're different. They're learning to share things in common without so much teeth pulling, but Andrew knows this is one area Aaron could not understand.

Andrew isn't jealous or resentful, he's just not like Aaron in that way. He's sure his brother and Katelyn had sex soon after meeting, long before it turned into something he'd risk Andrew's wrath over. He's also sure it's not something that keeps Aaron up at night, or wracks him with guilt afterwards. Watching them interact now, post intimacy, makes that clear enough. Aaron wants her and he's happy to want her, there's nothing else to it. Aaron's own insecurities are a monster, that much he knows, but they're not always in line with Andrew's.

Aaron is not afraid to want, and he trusts himself not to hurt.

This observation, coupled with his conversation with Katelyn, leaves Andrew with little room to avoid the real reason for his plan.

Realistically, Andrew knows he's been setting up roadblocks intentionally. Talk to Bee, setback, another setback, step two, back to step one, and so forth. With this process, there's essentially no way for this to not be dragged out to hell and back.

Annoyingly, he hears Renee's voice in his head, "be patient with yourself," but that's not it at all. The steps are more than just precautionary measures or even speedbumps. No, he can't try to convince himself that he put them there to pace himself, to make sure it's what he really wants.

To want, to want, to want.

That's the thing. He knows what he wants, but part of him thought that with enough time, enough pause, he wouldn't anymore. Then, he could fall back on an old habit, push it away and pretend he doesn't care about the fallout.

He'd been giving his brain ample time to ruin this for him too. To remember that wanting is dangerous, disappointing, not worth the consideration or effort. That maybe, impossibly, if he gave himself room to fortify a new wall, he'd no longer crave Neil's everything. Then, hurting him wouldn't have to be a worry at all, because he simply wouldn't care.

But alas, he's caught himself at the end of his rope, and he should know better. He's known better since Baltimore. Because even now, his head buzzing with conflict, one fact stands out as sturdy as before.

He wants Neil. In every way, every part, all the ugly, spiked edges and harsh temper. Nothing has ever sounded better and he hates it. He hates to feel like this, but he won't try to stop.

Why?

"Andrew, what you feel is normal," Bee's saccharine voice trickles through his head, words from the last two sessions when she helped him piece through all this. Or, maybe he should say she gave him the reins. Bee knows him by now, knows Andrew prefers to do most of the work once pointed in the right direction, even if it's something he hates to admit.

What I feel is normal? Yes, yes, I know Bee.

Pleasure, joy, contentment. The lack of exposure to them all for so long means he doesn't know how to process them, according to Bee. In fact, the feelings become almost intolerable.

"As such, your instinct is to lash out at or banish these feelings. They're uncomfortable, maybe even upsetting for you."

He thinks of so many repeats of 'I hate you' and 'this is nothing.' Thing is, those weren't lies. He needed Neil to be nothing, even when he knew it was impossible. He'd crossed the line into dangerous territory again, and Neil had happily jogged over next to him.

Neil's the only one who's ever followed without question.

He means it though; he hates to want. He wonders if it's because it all feels too good to be true, that if he doesn't tell himself he hates it, he'll have to finally acknowledge how good it feels.

How Neil makes him feel.

He can't accept that, not yet. But he will take a different step forward.

Katelyn prattles on about her schedule for the week, and Andrew can't hold her ramblings against her in this case. Labs and practice will keep her and Aaron apart for most of the week; Andrew used to crave the alone time, now...

With the sounds of pots and pans joining the chorus of Katelyn's chatter, Andrew walks over to Neil with intent clear. Funny, how he expected this revelation to be a lot less anticlimactic. But here they are, on a Sunday morning, the smell of burnt toast wafting through the air.

Neil looks up when Andrew sits beside him, catching whatever must be on Andrew's face and tilting his head. He's not sure how Neil does it, doesn't think to ask. Neil won't stop anyways if Andrew tells him too.

Because...

"What you value is understanding."

Yes, this is something Andrew will not be rid of anytime soon, Neil Josten will not go away. The little thrill which runs through him at the thought is not something he'd ever think he'd feel this much again. It intensifies as the days go, and everyday he loses more of the energy to stop it.

He can feel Bee smiling that damn smile, all the way from here.

Andrew digs his thumb into Neil's already open palm, waiting for his sleepy grin, and gets rid of all the roadblocks.

I want this, he repeats, and holds Neil's gaze. I want you.

He fights back the automatic recoil, and notes how it's gotten easier to do so, to overshadow his need to pull away with his need to pull closer.

"Yes," he says, and for a moment Neil is so still Andrew wonders if Katelyn's laughter ate up the small word. From how Neil's eyes soften a second later, he knows they weren't. "I don't know when, but it's a yes."

Because they've always gotten through things in the past, together.

Neil's breath hitches, and his hand curls tight around Andrew's, the touch conveying more than words can. The world is still such a dark, unforgiving place, but on this Sunday morning their dorm room has a brightness to it. Andrew shrinks away from it, but is powerless to avoid it.

Andrew thinks it might solely come from Neil, but he's wrong.

"Breakfast," Aaron calls to the room with a sigh, all too carefree and happy with Katelyn next to him. Andrew briefly wonders if Aaron ever thought he'd get to that point, and it's something they share. Disbelief.

"Okay," Neil calls back, and it has a dreamy quality to it Andrew wants so badly to stamp out like a cigarette. He doesn't though, he can't. The word carries the smile on the striker's lips, and Neil buries his face in Andrew's sleeve, content to let their food get a little cold.

Without Andrew noticing, his fingers curl just as tight around Neil's too.

--

One thing Andrew cannot fathom about Neil sometimes is that there's no sense of pressure.

Andrew made up his mind about going all the way that very morning, over a week ago with Neil resting his head in his lap and eventually wriggling a little too purposefully to be cute anymore. Andrew nearly snapped at Aaron and Katelyn to get lost, but then Neil would've won.

Considering how cheeky Neil looked later on, Andrew's cock in his mouth, maybe he did.

And in the afterglow, there had been...peace.

Andrew's not sure what he expected; maybe Neil's impatience, a new layer of tension in their kisses, their touches, something saying go, go, go. The rush to dive in and get things over with before the thoughts tore him in two.

But there's not. There's nothing like that; no urgency in his head or a ticking clock telling him they need to do it before it's too late. Of course, he still thinks about it constantly, how could he not? He's only a man with an (admittedly) hot...boyfriend. A Neil. A very energetic and smart-mouthed Neil.

Closing his eyes, he can picture it, his memory a blessing for once with something from just the other day.

Andrew lets his hands follow the curve of Neil's ass, feeling the smooth skin, patches of it rough from road burn and other scarring. He digs his fingers into the one spot of Neil's lower back, swallowing Neil's gasp. Like a press of a button, Neil's back bends for him.

They're only making out, just kissing, and he's like this. Andrew is okay with just keeping things like this, it feels right.

"Andrew..." Neil moans, featherlight, so unlike his usual brashness. It makes Andrew's pulse spike, and he kisses back greedily, mind swimming. Neil wants him, he makes Neil feel good...

Neil makes him feel good.

"Quiet," Andrew scolds, muffled by the urgent press of Neil's lips. It's begrudgingly amusing, how stupid Neil is. He keeps going back in for another peck, one right after the other, provoking Andrew to just pin him and push his tongue into his mouth.

"Mm," Neil hums teasingly, and Andrew feels the glide of his fingernail along the column of his neck. Andrew can't help it, he gives Neil a grunt for that, the sensitivity overwhelming.

And Neil, so infuriating, smirks.

"You first," his junkie bites back, so predictable. He punctuates the taunt with a nip to Andrew's earlobe. Then it's cloudy, no, hazy, a dream.

Except Neil has proven time and time again he's the furthest thing from a dream; so real, so warm and solid. Andrew lets himself sink into the pleasure, and in these moments he doesn't realize he's falling, that he doesn't mind it.

"Andrew..."

Neil's voice is a fog Andrew has a hard time finding his way out of sometimes, and he leans his head back on the wall by his bed while the heat pools in his gut.

Oh yes, he thinks about this a lot, and he's too fixated on the feelings to put up a fight.

But it's not even just in these moments that he wants Neil, what once was so troubling is now simply reality...

He thinks of the redhead's sleep deprived yawns, long and drawn out enough to show the slope of his jaw. Anxious nibbling on the end of a pencil when he's focused on some stupid equation. Careful hands, patching up Andrew's bloody knuckles after sparring sessions. And not so careful hands, punching the first reporter to say something even remotely negative about Andrew outside the stadium.

Neil is so dangerous, in that Andrew wants all of him.

Yet, there's never an imperativeness to have all of him, to just lock them away for the weekend and see what all the fuss is about. No, he can savor different parts of Neil in innocent ways: the concerned touches, considerate glances, and wide grins...

And in filthy ways.

The slow stretch of his spine when he's doing warm ups, those yoga pants he wears on purpose around campus, the flick of a tongue against Andrew's biceps.

And still, neither of them feel the need to cross the line into new territory yet, not for lack of want, but for lack of good timing.

Point is, since the decision, he and Neil have done plenty of other things without the underlying question of taking it all the way. It leaves Andrew's stomach buzzing for different, non-anxious reasons. The absence of pressure, of force. It's as if now that everything is out in the open, Neil's presence is both a relaxant and a stimulant, and nothing they do together is bogged down by anything other than chasing the pleasure it brings them.

Even with Roland, when they were ready to experiment further, there was no point in waiting. No pacing. Andrew was typically ready to get it out of his system for the sake of his libido, never pushing himself too far but also not patient with himself either. He'd propose the next thing he wanted to try, made sure Roland's hands were out of the way, and acted accordingly. Quickly. Andrew did not savor.

Andrew would take what he needed from the sensations and that was that; his knees on the floor of Eden's, a heavy weight on his tongue. Roland was enthusiastic, reacting well to Andrew's touches as he got more experienced with time.

As for Andrew...

Sometimes he'd like it, sometimes not, and in those cases he'd put a stop to it and he and Roland would revert to whatever was quickest to get off. Efficient, enough for Andrew to feel the spike of control, to bring another man pleasure without putting himself at risk. Exerting power over someone, and having them like it.

It had all been controlled, because Andrew needed it to be. Many of those nights blur together now; he can remember them all, he does, but pulling those times to the forefront of his mind is not something he ever chose to do. It simply didn't affect him in that way, because Roland never got below Andrew's skin.

With Neil however…

Andrew can't help but imprint every gasp and arch into his brain to never be forgotten, to be spun into daydreams so vivid it's hard to keep still. In the mornings the thoughts drip into the front of his mind, Neil pressed close to him. Then when he's watching Neil run in the gym with strong legs, and it's like he feels Neil's legs tightening around him. When he's bored in class, the sounds of Neil's moans drown out the professor as the fantasies in Andrew's head take over.

With Neil it is pure, blinding pleasure. He savors more than he thinks he should, like there's a limited supply and he's going through an army's worth everyday.

Andrew prolongs sex with Neil as much as he can. He's never allowed himself to feel this with anyone. He couldn't. For once it's not just about gaining experience or getting off, it's all that with Neil and exploring all the ways to make him fall apart.

So, Andrew still blows him in the showers after practice and ruts against him in the backseat of the Maserati. And through it all, Neil doesn't wait or expect Andrew to bring up going all the way.

He just enjoys it, enjoys being with Andrew.

"I'm still convinced I dreamed you," he spits out later that night when they're making out on the floor. Making out is putting it innocently, since it's quickly progressing into Andrew grinding his hips into Neil's.

They haven't exactly had enough alone time for this, not for a few weeks, but Andrew tames his desperation for it as best he can. He can't be that vulnerable, and yet his hips are moving on their own accord.

With Kevin visiting Wymack and Nicky off studying, they're alone. They can take their time, and they don't hesitate to take advantage.

Andrew can no longer contain the caged animal.

Neil pauses briefly to look up at Andrew, sliding one of Andrew's hands under his shirt to touch him more. Andrew shivers at the silent request, thumbing at one his nipples while Neil tries to make words.

"D--Do you want me to be a hallucination?" Neil teases, and leans up to bite Andrew's bottom lip. Andrew pinches Neil's chest beneath his fingertips, logging away the breathy moan to recall later.

"No," Andrew snaps quickly, almost against his will, and Neil's grin is so annoyingly brilliant.

They both already knew the answer. He's not sure he could handle that at this point. Neil disappearing, like a ghost with only a compliment as a goodbye.

Not again.

As if to cement this fact, Andrew bucks forward, the friction dizzying. Again, it's been a little too long, and Andrew's movements betray it.

"Fuck Andrew," Neil says, reaching for Andrew's fly. It's already undone, his belt somewhere halfway across the room due to Neil's eager hands. Andrew had told him yes, and yet Neil's hand hovers just over Andrew's groin in a silent question. Andrew growls, leading Neil's hand under the waistband until it brushes the wet head of his cock, and they moan in sync this time.

"Andrew I want...fuck," Neil throws his head back, the frustration clear. Andrew can't help but feel the same; if he could make Neil fall apart in every way he would, but for now his body craves the friction, the desperation of his movements.

This is how he wants to get off, humping Neil into the floor.

"Use your words," Andrew breathes, swiping his thumb over Neil's lips. Neil's pink tongue flicks out, coaxing Andrew's fingers into his mouth and sucking.

Neil's eyes are so full of mischief, his response clear: sure about that?

Andrew gives a slow roll of his hips as Neil pumps him slow, pulling away when he senses Andrew's patience running thin. The striker's legs spread farther apart for him, letting Andrew slot them perfectly together. Neil wants it like this too, he realizes.

A shudder runs through him, overwhelming and definitely something he'd normally lash out against. But this feels too good in the moment to resist, his clothed cock sliding perfectly against Neil's, and the thought comes barreling through as the heat coils tighter and tighter.

It's just like the last time they did this. Andrew starts thrusting faster, the phantom of the real thing while Neil's back slides against the floor. Except this time...

This time what?

He watches Neil meet each thrust just as desperately, a few whimpers escaping and mixing with the few Andrew can't help but let loose. He looks absolutely debauched, with his shorts hanging off one leg and his underwear damp. Andrew takes a snapshot, sealing this Neil away in his head forever. Hungry, insatiable, junkie.

What if this was the real thing? Would Neil arch and writhe even more? Neil always feels too good to be true, even now. He'd be warm, Andrew knows it, his ass hugging Andrew's cock, so bent on making Andrew feel good. He'd probably be more reactive too, loud enough for anyone nearby to hear. The fantasy floods in, and Andrew feels his heart rate pick up as his hips buck faster, the pace erratic and wild.

And that's the difference, isn't it? This time, Andrew doesn't feel strange to think about it, to imagine it. He's free to indulge, but should he, does he want to?

His cock twitches, and that's answer enough. The small ounce of hesitation is something Neil catches, because he throws Andrew a shaky smile as a bead of sweat drips down his forehead.

"You can think about it," Neil chokes out, voice raw and oh, it's doing a lot of things to Andrew which shouldn't be allowed. "I am too. Fuck, I want you to fuck me Andrew, so bad..."

Andrew surges forward, slotting their lips together. It's hardly a kiss, his tongue pinning Neil's down in a promise he can't say.

Me too, I want all of you.

The thought is so shocking, it doesn't make him recoil instantly. Something in him bends, snaps in two, and the only pause he gives is one used to manhandle Neil. He pulls him forward, so Neil is curled up at the perfect angle. Andrew does sometimes appreciate all the cheerleading stretches Neil borrows from Katelyn, he's so much more flexible now.

"Neil," Andrew breathes when he pulls back from Neil's lips, just his name. Neil's eyes widen, and Andrew wonders what kind of look he's wearing again. Can Neil see it all, how much Andrew really wants to rail Neil into the nearest surface?

It doesn't matter, his next movements make it obvious.

Andrew's hips piston forward until Neil is shaking apart, his orgasm pulling out a whine Andrew knows the neighbors can hear. He can't be bothered with it now, the unusual greediness he feels when it comes to Neil is second to his own rising pleasure. So close, so close--

Neil reaches up, boneless, and hums almost deliriously. Fixated, Andrew's eyes never leave the ring of blue in his eyes. Neil's fingers tap on Andrew's neck, right at the pulse. "C'mon, come for me."

Andrew does, it's obscene how fast he does. The words aren't even all the way out of Neil's mouth and Andrew doesn't have time to be upset with his orgasm coursing through him. His eyes close on their own accord, the feeling wiping out his sight for a few blissful seconds as he trembles. He's vaguely aware of Neil's hands on his muscles, feeling them clench with the aftershocks.

Andrew's stomach bottoms out, and he feels the rush all the way down his legs.

Never before, never this intense. Not with anyone but Neil.

He slumps forward, his body about as relaxed as it can be in Neil's arms. The urge to run after these moments isn't really there anymore, the need for separation either delayed or gone completely. It's the result of doing this...many times, and Neil's arms still rest loosely around Andrew, ready to let go the moment he needs it.

They lay like that for a few seconds, their pants echoing in the small space and Andrew licks the salt from Neil's neck. The striker has the nerve to give Andrew more space, welcoming all the marks. He doesn't even realize he'll be wearing sweaters for a few days in the blistering heat, if only to avoid Kevin's wrath.

Andrew pops off, satisfied with the fresh bruise, and savors the low whine he gets for it.

Eventually, he has to move, but less for the need to get cleaned up and more due to an odd feeling tugging at his abdomen. Neil's noises...they're troublesome for Andrew's self-control, and Andrew is sure Neil knows it.

The mess in Andrew's boxers is...a lot, and he grimaces as he shifts a little. He doesn't pull away completely, just to let Neil know he's alright, but he looks down at the striker with something swimming in his chest.

Neil's breathing is ragged, chest still heaving, and Andrew's eyes follow the trail of hickies he left on Neil's collarbone. The odd feeling hits him again, a simmering heat.

Unfinished.

Ah, so that's it. He gets it.

Andrew's eyes darken and he hears the moment Neil figures it out too. The redhead's throat clears, mixed with a moan as he sits up with Andrew. His eyes are still wide, pupils blown and covering icy blue in darkness. They're expectant, excited.

So, so much energy.

Andrew knows his smirk doesn't show on his actual face, but he has to fight real hard against it as he stands up. Neil licks his lips, tracking the movement as Andrew pulls the waistband of his boxers forward. He's a mess; his cock is slick with his own cum, globs of it sticking to the fabric. Without betraying his own emotions, he pulls himself out for Neil to see the state of him. In Andrew's head, the mantra repeats: you do this to me, you make me feel this way.

Neil's eyes get that hazy quality to them, the intense focus usually applied to games, and Andrew quirks a brow. Neil's glances keep flitting between Andrew's face and his dripping cock, not sure where to look, but eager nonetheless. His mouth is already open, ready. The fire in Andrew's gut is no longer simmering, it's back in full force. Not yet satisfied, not done.

His cum is about to start dripping on the floor when he finally takes pity on them both.

"Hey," he says, almost innocently, and Neil freezes. "Clean up your mess."

And oh, Neil certainly does.

--

Appropriately, Andrew is peckish after this, and Kevin had once again gone through the trouble of throwing away all his candy.

Honestly, Andrew could kill him at this point. Their deal is over, but then he'd have no reason to drag Neil out after 10 p.m. to try desserts Andrew knows he'll hate. His reactions make Andrew's chest feel fuzzy, and as uncomfortable as it is, he knows it's not a bad feeling or a particularly overwhelming one. Therefore, it's best to use for exposure therapy.

He's making Neil taste baklava at some 24-hour dessert bar when he says the words, unprompted and lazy, but it doesn't feel less right. For whatever reason, their moments of mundanity seem to coax the most monumental things out of Andrew, probably because they're the most grounded he ever feels.

Neil's hair is still a mess from their activities, that coupled with his scrunched up nose at the sweetness of the pastry is so routine, so familiar, it softens Andrew's edges. Andrew's fingertips are sticky from the syrup, but there's nothing filthy about watching Neil's lips wrap around them when Andrew feeds him the bite. It's so oddly cliche and cheesy, Andrew can't believe he did it without realizing.

Neil sticks out his tongue in disgust as he chews, pushing the rest of the pastry at Andrew in favor of his boring gummy bears (Andrew made him get something), when Andrew tilts his head to look at him. Really look.

He doesn't know what he's searching for, and he doesn't find it. It's a relief; Neil is the same, and it's such a comfort Andrew has to force it down.

His brain, always the betrayer, whispers: This is it.

It's not said in a romantic, or even joyful way. It's simply stating a fact; he won't have this again, and won't pursue it.

Neil's eyes soften when he catches Andrew staring, but doesn't call it out like he normally would. The striker rests his head on his arm, blue eyes shining under the shitty diner lights. They're back to normal, all ice, all color. His hand slides across the tabletop to brush Andrew's, not quite linking, but a constant. An 'I'm here' just because he feels like it.

The ease in Neil's eyes, brought on by all their exertion and from Andrew's presence, is so unlike the desire from earlier. It's apparent, but not jarring. This side of Neil is still one he knows, one he's come to expect without meaning to. There's something so innocent about it, so genuine, the words overflow.

"Neil," he says, even though he already has Neil's undivided attention. He wonders what kind of face he's making to get that kind of reaction, but then assures himself he doesn't want to know. He can't handle that yet. He clears away the tightness in his throat as best he can without acknowledging that it's there, and lets the realization wash over him. "Next time we're alone."

He's ready to try if Neil is. He knows Neil will understand what he's referring to. It's both a proposition and a promise, and Neil reads it easily.

He blinks, sitting up in that way which reminds Andrew of an actual fox. If Neil had the ears they would perk up, alert. His fingers inch forward, between the spaces Andrew has left for him already.

"You're ready?" Neil asks, voice quiet but resounding in the deserted shop. Andrew shivers, but knows the answer. He's known for a few days, but only now does he feel up to admitting it.

"Yes."

There's not much more he needs--or wants--to say. This is his decision; the mess in his mind is still there. The image of hurting Neil, or old memories surging forward in the heat of the moment. The shock of being so connected to someone, so vulnerable. It's all still there, making his skin crawl.

But then Neil looks at him like this, a mix of lust and some other emotion he won't name (won't assign Katelyn's stupid definition to) and it becomes a factor. Despite all the mess, Neil is someone he can trust and someone who trusts Andrew.

They want this, that's enough.

"Neil," he says when Neil has been quiet too long, that stupid look on his face, and watches him blush a brilliant shade of red.

"I--yes, yes of course I--" Neil stammers, and it's instinct for him to ground himself with Andrew's touch. His hand grips Andrew's tight, as if Andrew needs more convincing when Neil's tone is so excited. The striker's gaze turns firm, determined, and heat simmers in Andrew's chest once more. "I want that..."

No kidding.

"Stop being an idiot," Andrew snaps, but he tightens his hold on Neil's hand anyways. He's not sure who he's talking to.

Judging by the smile Neil is trying to force down, he knows it too.

"You have a thing for idiots," he whispers with a smirk, teeth pressing into his bottom lip, and oh yes, Andrew always knew this man was far too dangerous to keep around.

Too late now.

"Apparently," he sighs, feigning resignation. He leans against the back of the booth, and it's mostly so he can see all of Neil clearly. The disheveled clothes, the unruly hair, the sharpness. In reality, he's far from cursing his future in that moment. He's not sure if he can label the static in his abdomen and his head as excitement, but he has a feeling it's exactly that.

Troublesome, and much too powerful to try and push away.

Satisfied, Neil smiles and leans back too. They don't stay separate for long; as soon as Neil's hand is off his, Andrew feels a strong leg press into his calf. He doesn't even flinch these days.

Neil poises to throw a gummy bear, and Andrew opens his mouth willingly to catch it, falling back into their easy routine of wasting time together. Long drives, stupid questions and stupider answers.

Andrew misses three out of the ten gummy bears, not really trying. It makes Neil laugh harder when he misses.

On the fifteenth throw, realization crosses over Neil's face, and he pauses. The smirk turns deadly, razor sharp. Andrew has never seen Neil so vengeful, and the excitement only grows when Neil speaks. "You know what this means?"

Andrew raises a brow, and Neil inhales, giddy with his own spite. "We can finally kick Kevin out."

And he automatically knows what Neil means. He recalls hours spent holed up in the stadium, making out with Neil and wishing they were cocooned in bed while Kevin sexiled them for time with Thea.

The word leaves Andrew's mouth, as deadly as Neil's expression. "Payback."

[queerastronauts]

Under Clean Waters

This is a gift fic for Skylar @nwesninski, who asked for andreil alternative meeting and high school au, among like a hundred other prompts - it was a great selection, thank you! I hope you like it.

This is part of the @aftgexchange.

Read on ff.net and ao3

[1]

It had been two years since Neil had last stepped into a pool, which was probably for the best. Swimming was like – a loss of control. A loss of control he couldn’t afford.

But California, it seemed to him, worshipped swimming pools. As far as he could tell there was a swimming pool on every corner, and of course, the Olympic pool at the school. They were unavoidable, and Neil didn’t like things that were unavoidable.

The towns he’d gone through on his way to this town, through three states and back, had almost never had a pool. He was grateful for this. Ever since his mother died, he couldn’t look at the water without thinking of the taste of her burning flesh in the air. A year later, and he still woke up sometimes in the night, the smell of it at the edge of his senses. Like a gust of wind had carried her back to him. It was comforting, sometimes, to know that he still had her, in a way.

But most of the time – most of the time it was like his sense were attacking him, and he couldn’t breathe.

 The school he was going to was relatively small, but part of a large enough town that not everybody knew everybody. After a month long stint in a town called Millport, he decided this would help preserve his anonymity.  He didn’t like the gossip of small towns. It made him anxious. On edge. He felt watched.

His papers said he was a year and a half older than he actually was, and therefore legally able to sign any document the school required himself. He did have to do a lot of catching up if he was skipping a grade, but considering how often he changed schools, this would have been true anyway. He wouldn’t mind graduating high school early. Sometimes he wondered why he bothered, if it weren’t for the exy.

The exy, and the showers. Hot water might have been rare, but the water was there nonetheless. And yeah, he might’ve looked longingly at the pool sometimes, but only sometimes.

Most of the time, he was pretty good at ignoring his own heart.

*

Most days, the first thing he did in the morning was run. He ran for about an hour at a steady pace, on a route that ended in the school, about half an hour before classes were supposed to start. He’d shower quickly in the locker room, open for morning practices, and spend the day avoiding attention in class. He paid special attention in his language class, Spanish, because his was extremely rusty, but the class wasn’t particularly helpful in reviving it. He spent his lunch break in the library, doing homework. And at the end of the day, he went to Exy practice.

*

He had only tried out for exy because he couldn’t bear the idea of watching it. He had severely underperformed, partially by choice, partially because he was very, very out of practice. He had stamina for running, of course he did; this earned him a role as striker. But he got to play very little, which he was partially grateful for, and mostly very, very bitter over.

There were always parts of him fighting each other. He had a warring soul.

*

[2]

The first time Andrew spoke to Neil, Andrew had almost broken his nose, and it was even by accident. A matter of bad timing; Neil was walking into the locker room just as Andrew had picked his racket up. It swung towards Neil’s face, and really, it almost blinded him. Neil bit back a yelp of surprise, and took a step backwards.

Andrew said: “Oh, hey.” And when Neil didn’t answer, he took his things and left.

*

The second time Andrew spoke to Neil, he’d actually managed to get a couple words out. He’d been readying himself for a rare afternoon run – Exy practice had been cancelled at the very last moment – and he glanced towards the pool for a mere second. Andrew, who was walking out of the gym with what was clearly a bag of dirty clothing, turned to him and asked: “Do you swim?”

Neil stopped stretching and stared at Andrew for a moment. “I used to.”

Andrew nodded and walked away.

Neil spent exactly one moment feeling confused before he pushed that feeling aside, and instead focused on the pleasant burning sensation he felt as he stretched.

*

The third time Andrew spoke to Neil, Neil actually initiated it. Andrew and Neil were in the same math class, but Neil had accidentally spaced out during the last five minutes, and had completely missed what their homework was. Upon realizing Andrew was the only person in the class he even recognized, he ran up to him and said his name.

Andrew immediately turned around, lazily looking Neil up and down. “What?” he said flatly.

“I missed what the homework was,” Neil said. Under Andrew’s gaze, he felt awkward and gangly, misshapen somehow, like his limbs were out of alignment. It was an odd feeling, and he was pretty sure he disliked it. “I was wondering if you caught what it was?”

Without even pulling out his notebook, Andrew said: “Chapters 6 through 8, problems 11 through 23 and 45 through 66, and problem 69.”

“Oh, thanks,” Neil said, quickly committing it to memory. “See you at practice.”

*

There was something about Andrew Doe that bothered him immensely.

Maybe it was the quiet that seemed to radiate off of him, a seriousness not shared by other people in their class. Maybe it was the way he felt watched whenever they were in the same room. Maybe it was just the fact that he seemed to remember anything and everything without a problem, which makes lying much more difficult. He relied on the fact that he was forgettable, but Andrew seemed to do nothing but remember.

The evening in the first week of October when he dyed his roots, and they came out a little darker than usual, he panicked, because he knew Andrew would be able to tell. They’d only known each other a month, but every time they interacted Neil was even more sure of it: Andrew had the ability to perfectly recall anything and everything. He’d gotten into the habit of asking Andrew questions, all random facts from class or practice, and he never missed any of them, remembering even the tiniest of details – details that Neil himself had forgotten, at times.

And the most irritating part about it was that Neil couldn't seem to force himself to forget Andrew, either. Every time he felt Andrew's eyes on him it distracted him. He couldn't focus on classes, or on practice, or on studying - because Andrew always seemed to be in the library when he was.

He was beginning to get sick of it. After a few weeks of this, as he got settled into his favorite spot in the library and, as usual, felt Andrew's eyes, he turned and stared right back, meeting the shocking spark in Andrew's otherwise emotionless face.

And to Neil's absolute shock and horror, Andrew didn't sit down in his usual seat two tables away from Neil. No. He came and sat in the seat right in front of Neil.

"Hey," Andrew said.

"Hi," Neil said.

Andrew took out his Math homework, so Neil did the same, and they studied in silence.

*

Neil wasn't quite sure how this became a routine, but it did. Neil and Andrew would sit together during every lunch period, and - at first - besides polite greetings, they studied in silence.

Andrew was the first to speak during these study sessions. He said: "Do you know any German?"

Neil's heart beat fast in his chest, but he forced himself to raise his head slowly, as if he was still reading a sentence in Spanish. What did he mean? Why was he asking? What -

"I'm taking it this year as my language elective, and I don't remember what this word means," Andrew explained. He seemed disinterested, but Neil felt as if his eyes were -

Well.

"I took a year of German," Neil lied - well, really he was just bending the truth. "I might be able to help you."

Andrew silently moved his notebook closer to Neil, and he turned it around. Andrew pointed at the word he meant.

"That's stay," Neil said.

"Hm." Andrew said. "Why are you taking Spanish if you've taken German before?"

"Why so many questions?" Neil countered.

For the first time, Neil saw Andrew smile. It was a small, sarcastic thing. Not a true smile by any means, but a mockery of one, worn by someone who hasn't the patience for the joy necessary for a smile.

"We can trade."

Neil just looked at him.

"You ask me something, I ask you something. We both answer honestly. We end on equal footing."

What could Andrew possibly say that would interest Neil? "Pass."

"Are you sure? I will not make this offer again."

Neil thought about it. Thought about the constant, consistent presence of him, the spark in his eyes, and about how he never seems to leave Neil's mind. And suddenly he was curious, unreasonably curious. If his mother knew that he was about to be honest with this - this boy, this random student he has spent almost no time around -

"Alright," he said, before he could change his mind. "I thought Spanish could be useful. Why have you been staring at me?"

"I was curious," Andrew replied. "You aren't just new, you’re - off. I look at you and all I see is a gray blob of nothing."

"I am nothing," Neil said. "You shouldn't be curious about me."

Andrew took his notebook back, began to shove his things into his bag. "I'm sure I'll be over it soon," he said. "But for now -" he shook his head, cutting himself off. "I'll see you at practice."

"Yeah," Neil said. "Right."

Andrew walked off, and Neil wondered to himself what had just happened.

*

[3]

“Why don’t you swim anymore?”

Andrew had managed to startle Neil. It was the end of practice, and Neil was doing what he always did: pretending to be busy with something in order to delay his inevitable visit to the locker room. He usually managed to stay on the field until everybody left, at which point nobody cared what he was doing. This had proved to be consistently successful, so he was incredibly surprised that Andrew had lingered as well.

“What?” he said, pretending to have misheard.

Andrew didn’t seem to be buying it, but repeated himself anyway. “Why don’t you swim anymore?”

“Is this your next turn?”

“Yes.”

Neil took a deep breath to calm himself. “I don’t like the loss of awareness. Everybody can look at me, I can’t see them.”

“Hm.” Neil met Andrew’s piercing gaze. In his eyes, he saw –

“I’ll take my turn later,” Neil blurted. He grabbed his bag and got pretty close to sprinting away from the field. He’ll skip his shower today; he didn’t want to spend any more time than necessary on school grounds right now.

*

Later, he lay on the floor of the empty house he was sleeping in currently and thought of Andrew’s intense eyes. It kept him up until the hours, at which point without even noticing he drifted into a light sleep, riddled with dreams as confusing as Andrew Doe.

*

[4]

“Do you want to go see a movie sometime?” Andrew said a week later, as they silently sat and studied.

Neil didn’t even have to force himself to pick his head up slowly. He was finally getting some progress with his Spanish, and didn’t want to lose his train of thought, so he hummed to signal that Andrew should wait a second for his response. Once he finished translating the sentence he’d been working on, he finally registered what Andrew had actually said. “What movie?”

He shrugged. “I don’t really care. Maybe that new Marvel film. Do you want to?”

Neil considered it. What else did he have to do, anyway? “Sure.”

Andrew’s features slowly transformed from their usual blank slate to a vaguely pleased expression. Neil didn’t know what it meant that he could tell the difference when the change was so small, and he frowned and pushed that side to be dealt with later.

They set a time to meet at the local movie theatre and that was that.

*

[5]

So now they were hanging outside of school as well, and fairly regularly as well. It seemed to Neil that they were meeting almost every other day, to go to the movies or to go eat together or, once, to go ice skating. They often shared a smoke before or after these outings. He knew his mother would berate him for wasting so much money, but he found himself enjoying these outings.

After yet another shared dinner, Andrew surprised Neil yet again. “Would you like to come visit my house tomorrow? Meet my foster mother?”

It was a Friday, a chilly night in the middle of November. Above, clouds blocked the stars; below, neon lights would have prevented them from seeing stars any way. Neil had a feeling it would rain that night.

Neil shot Andrew a look, but for once, Andrew was looking up at the starless sky instead of him. “Depends,” Neil replied.

“On what?” Andrew said.

“I want to take my turn.”

Andrew dragged his head down and examined Neil thoroughly. He gestured with his hand, saying go ahead.

“Do you know who your biological family is?”

Andrew let out an insincere snort masquerading as a laugh. “I found out last year, yes.”

“Who are they?” Neil pushed.

Andrew stood still for a second, before releasing a breath and saying: “I have a twin brother, Aaron. And a mother who doesn’t want me.”

Neil could feel the words hitting him. His heart, he was surprised to find, ached for Andrew. “I’m sorry,” he said softly.

“It’s not your fault,” Andrew said. “So don’t apologize.”

“Alright,” Neil said. “I’ll – see you tomorrow?”

“See you tomorrow,” Andrew echoed. And then he was gone, and Neil felt very, very cold.

*

“I like your foster mother,” Neil remarked as they climbed the stairs to Andrew’s room. “She’s nice.”

“Yes, she is,” Andrew said, and if Neil didn’t know better, he could’ve sworn he heard affection in his voice. The door slammed behind them, and Neil took the time to examine Andrew’s room. It was small, but bare, practically as sterile as the house Neil broke into every night. There was a large bed, which took up most of the room, along with a dresser and a small bookcase. There was also a laptop, but no desk. Maybe Andrew did his studying in another room?

Andrew sat on the bed and Neil awkwardly mimicked him.

“So this is Andrew Doe’s room, huh?”

“I think that’s rather obvious,” Andrew said.

Suddenly, Neil knew that Andrew was real. He’d known it all along, of course, but until this very second somewhere in the back of his mind he’d been doubting it, thinking that this complicated young man couldn’t be anything other than a figment of his own imagination. Seeing his bedroom, his house, his home, knowing that Andrew existed beyond Neil’s perception of him – it was dizzying.

“I want to play another round,” Neil said.

“No,” Andrew said. “I don’t want to answer your questions right now. And I have too many questions to ask to choose just one.”

“Ask me something anyway,” Neil said.

Andrew looked at him oddly. “Yes or no?”

Andrew surprised Neil again and again. He’d managed to get under his skin and Neil hadn’t even noticed until it was too late. He baffled Neil, but also challenged him, made his stay on his toes, and before he even knew it, he was attached to him.

“Yes,” Neil said.

Andrew surged forward and kissed him. It lasted only a moment, but it felt like an entire lifetime. Neil found himself surprisingly pleased with the experience - once Andrew pulled away, he brought his left hand to his lips, partially shocked.

Andrew was looking away from Neil, visibly angry, his hands curled into shaking fists. Neil had learned better by now than to touch Andrew unexpectedly, so he resisted the urge to put a hand on him and instead opted to murmur Andrew’s name. He looked at Neil then, a strange look on his face. “Do you want me to leave?” Neil asked.

“No,” Andrew said, but he seemed to be doubting himself.

Neil compromised by sinking to the floor beside the bed. Not leaving, but also not too close. He decided he’d give Andrew a second to relax, but that second turned into minutes, into hours, and eventually, in that quiet room on that bare floor leaning against the plain white wall, he fell asleep.

*

In the early hours Neil woke, sudden, quick. He blinked as he surveyed the room around him. The door was slightly ajar, letting the orange hallway light in; Andrew was nowhere to be seen, but he could hear murmuring from down the hallways. Neil felt like he was swimming in the stifling heat of the room as he rose. Neil hadn’t brought his duffel to Andrew’s, but he searched for it anyway before he remembered. He glanced at his watch – it was only nine o’clock. He’d been asleep for maybe a couple of hours, but it was still too long. He should leave.

As the door creaked as he opened it and the voices silenced immediately. Once Neil’s eyes adjusted he realized it was Andrew and a young man he didn’t recognize, and who he immediately disliked. His figure was overbearing in a way that reminded him too much of the people his father had surrounded himself with, and the closer Neil got to him, the clearer the young man’s expression became, the more he disliked it.

“Andrew,” he said, a smirk adorning his terribly handsome features. “I didn’t know you had a guest.”

“He – “ Andrew began, but Neil cut him off.

“I fell asleep just as we were going to start watching a movie,” Neil said. “I’ve been overworking myself at exy practice. Andrew, are you coming back?”

Andrew gave a curt nod, and walked away from the young man. Neil didn’t realize how tense Andrew was until they stepped into the bedroom and he relaxed, if only a bit – Andrew didn’t like this young man any more than Neil did.

Neil shut the door. “Who was that?” he demanded.

“Drake,” Andrew said. “My foster brother.”

*

They did watch a movie together, although they paused around ten o’clock so Neil could pretend to call his mother and tell her he’d be sleeping over at a friend’s. They started a second one, but Neil could tell he was tired, so he suggested they continue it tomorrow, and they both went to sleep.

Neil woke up at his usual time – five thirty am – itching for a run. He knew he’d have to go home first to change and grab his things, but he wasn’t sure he had the time. Luckily, Andrew woke up the moment Neil began moving.

“You,” Andrew said, “wake up far too early.”

“I need to go home and get my things,” Neil said.

“C’mon,” Andrew said, “I’ll drive you.”

*

Andrew did drive him – after leaving a note for his foster mother that he was borrowing the car –but Neil had him drop him off a block away, giving a few excuses in succession, hoping one of them would stick and Andrew would drive off. Andrew didn’t leave, but he didn’t insist on driving down the street; instead, he said he’d wait for him on the corner until he came back.

It was almost six-fifteen, too late for Neil to take his normal route to the school anyway. On a whim, he grabbed his swimming trunks and a gray shirt and put them in his bag. This early, there’d be nobody to see him, anyway.

When Neil got into the car, Andrew asked him: “Yes or no?”

*

[6]

Neil and Andrew now had a new routine. Just after six Neil would meet Andrew, who would drive them to school. They would spend a few minutes kissing, and then Andrew would drive to school. Andrew remained in the car while Neil went swimming for half an hour, leaving him enough time to shower and get to first class, nodding at Andrew in the hallways as if they were mere acquaintances. Then they would sit together in the library during lunch, and Neil would spend half the time thinking about his homework, and the other half he spent watching Andrew and… trying to understand.

Andrew had told him to stop looking at him like that a couple of times already, but he truly had no idea what he meant until, one morning, Andrew took his turn.

They’d already passed the physical stage of the morning, but Andrew didn’t start the car.

“I’m taking my turn,” Andrew said, carefully examining Neil’s features.

Neil nodded.

“Who are you running from?”

Neil’s world once again shifted, and he physically recoiled.

“Answer me,” Andrew said.

“Andrew – “ he began. He thought of lying to him, but a lump in his throat stopped him from doing that. “This is more than I can give.”

Andrew looked at him for a long time, clearly expecting more. Neil shook his head. He wasn’t going to give any more. Instead, he took his own turn: “I’ll tell if you tell me what Drake is doing to you.”

“Fuck you,” Andrew said.

Neil said, “Don’t ask questions like that if you don’t want me to do the same.”

Andrew started the car and a pregnant silence settled over them as they drove. When Andrew parked the car by the school, Neil made for the door. Andrew spoke before he could even touch the handle.

“He rapes me,” Andrew said in a voice so raw and angry Neil physically recoiled. “He comes into my room at night, and – “

“No, you don’t – you don’t have to say anything else,” Neil said.

Empty eyes met his own. “You asked. Don’t ask if you can’t handle the answer.” Neil took a deep breath to steady himself, refusing to look away. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” Neil finally asked.

“Like I’m your answer.”

“What if I’m yours?” Neil countered.

Andrew laughed darkly. “You have yet to answer my question at all.”

And how could he be anything but honest at that?

“My father,” he said. “It’s my father who I’m running from.”

*

He opened his eyes, and the waters were clear. He’d swam what felt like one hundred laps; he’d lost count. He shouldn’t be in the water. The water could turn his shirt sheer, show his scars, and anybody could sneak past him, attack him the moment he left the pool. But he never felt freer than he did when he was immerse in the water and chlorine all alone.

He spent his usual half hour in the water, but when he left the water he found himself unexpectedly face to face with Andrew.

“Who are you?” Andrew asked.

Neil looked at him, doing his best not to shiver from the cold. “I’m not sure what you’re asking.”

“I’m moving in with my biological family. My uncle won me last week,” he spat. “And I’m going to leave.”

“Oh,” Neil said. It was December, he realized. They were going on break next week. This was probably a very good time for Andrew to leave.

“Who are you?” Andrew repeated, slowly, slowly walking closer. Neil closed his eyes, tried to steady himself.

“I can’t give you that,” Neil breathed.

“You owe me one last question,” Andrew reminded him. Neil knew he did, but he didn’t know how to give himself away like this.

He didn’t know what to do.

His chest hurt. He couldn’t breathe.

He looked away. When he looked back, Andrew was gone.

*

[7]

He took one last swim. It was the last day of the semester, and half the school was out sick; even the staff was spread out thin. He had two classes that day, and had been considering skipping; what was the point, anyway?

He’d decided he was going to leave.

For some reason, he’d made it official. Went to the office and told them his parents were transferring, and he was going with them. Said he wanted the transcripts. They would be useless to him; he wouldn’t turn 17 for a few months, and they said his 18 birthday had been months ago. Even if he did have to continue studying as a senior, he couldn’t have anything tying him to a place he’d already been, saying: I’ve been here, now I’m elsewhere. I was here.

Maybe he wanted it for himself, the knowledge that Neil Josten had existed, that he’d had something with Andrew Minyard nee Doe, and that he wouldn’t anymore.

And suddenly he couldn’t breathe.

He wouldn’t have Andrew anymore, and he didn’t know why or how, but that mattered to him more than survival.

*

He was running. He knew Andrew wasn’t at school today, had checked, and had also known that he’d be leaving that afternoon. That meant that right now Andrew was at the Spear’s home, and that he was most likely packing, and that Neil would miss him, and that he would never know unless he –

He made it. He knocked on the door. He waited.

“Andrew?” he said.

The door opened, and Andrew was –

He swallowed his first instinct, to reach out and pull him as close as possible.

“You’re moving to Columbia, right?”

Andrew nodded.

“It’s a funny coincidence,” he said, the words spilling out before he could stop them. “But so are my parents. Last minute transfer. Odd, right?”

Andrew didn’t react.

“Maybe when we’re there,” Neil said. “I’ll be able to answer your question.”

“Maybe,” Andrew said. He shut the door, and, smiling, Neil turned away.

Maybe.

[samanthasroberts]

5 Celebrities Who Did Crazy Scummy (And Underreported) Stuff

Maybe you’ve seen a picture of Justin Timberlake eating an apple and thought, “The stars, they’re just like us!” And while it’s true that some celebrities have apples like us — like we normal folk do for every single meal — some of them might be legitimately unhinged. Here are several ludicrous incidents wherein the stars were quite decidedly not like us.

5

50 Cent Bullied An Autistic Airline Employee

You’d think that after owning more bullet wounds than hit albums, 50 Cent (aka Curtis James Jackson III) would be a little more judicious in his dealings with strangers. But back in 2016, as he was apparently looking for ways to stave off boredom in the Cincinnati Airport, he noticed something fishy about one of the young maintenance workers. He seemed almost high, like the kind you might get from drugs — or as they’re called on the street, reefers.

50 leapt into action! No, he didn’t contact a supervisor to let them know their employee was on drugs; he got out his phone and followed the man around so he could mock him on Instagram. Hilarious, right? A drug user? At an AIRPORT!? It quickly went viral, but not in the way he was expecting.

The employee, a young man named Andrew Farrell, did his best to ignore Mr. Cent as he pointed his phone at him and lamented how “crazy” the younger generation is. He wondered aloud to his Instagram followers, “What kind of shit you think he took before he got to work today?” Sadly, this was the sort of abuse that Mr. Farrell had become accustomed to over the years. Because Mr. Farrell is not a drug addict — he’s autistic. Yes, 50 Cent was harassing and publicly humiliating a stranger because of a developmental disorder, not a drug habit.

Before our president made mocking the disabled a partisan issue, everyone agreed this was terrible. Fans were outraged, and liquor stores threatened to stop selling the faded rap star’s “Effen Vodka” brand of booze.

Effen Vodka“Effen” is, of course, a Dutch children’s game about number guessing. Wait, unless 50 Cent meant it like “Fuckin’ Vodka”? Oh 50, that’s naughty!

Read Next

The Hidden Connection Between 'Ghostbusters' And The Remake

As uniquely awful as this seems, it wasn’t the first time Jackson did something like this. Or even the second. A few years before, he’d landed in hot water after telling someone on Twitter “Just saw your picture fool you look autistic.” He ended another social media discussion by saying, “I don’t want no special ed kids on my timeline follow some body else.” It’s all very disappointing when someone unfairly derides another’s cognitive differences. Especially when that someone is the sort of person who claims bankruptcy while simultaneously posting photos of himself wallowing on a Scrooge-McDuck-sized pile of fake money. Maybe next time, try renting a conscience instead of a Rolex and a pile of money, Mr. Cent.

4

Both Akon And Afroman Savagely Attacked Fans On Stage

There’s an unspoken (and also very spoken) rule that you don’t get up on the stage when someone is performing. You can throw your panties and flowers, but hardly ever your beer, and never your throwing stars. When you violate these rules, you will get violently grabbed and thrown out on your ass. That’s exactly what happened to a fan at an Akon concert, only not the way you may think.

It was between songs, and Akon seemed to be doing some light crowd work. He took his shirt off and pulled an eager fan up on stage. It wasn’t a hot girl, as you’d expect a freshly shirtless singer to select. It was a nerdy guy in glasses and cargo shorts, and Akon immediately grabbed him by the dick, flung him up on his shoulders, and heaved him into the crowd. He did this not so much in a fun crowd-surfing arc, but at a low angle, directly into a pocket of girls extremely unprepared to catch a 150-pound projectile. The fan ate what most onlookers would call total shit. You can watch it here:

You’re not allowed to body-slam people to near death, even if they seemed like they were asking for it, so Akon was fined $350 and sentenced to 65 hours of community service. The stars, they are not just like us.

A strangely similar but way, way less cool incident happened at an Afroman show. Afroman was on stage playing guitar when a female fan jumped up and started stumbling around with her drink. For 10 or 15 seconds, she danced behind Afroman while he ignored her. Oh my god, can you believe how crazy she was being, you guys!?

Emboldened by the club’s lack of security, she started inching closer to Afroman. Oh my god, you guys, she was going to rub her butt on him! Can you believe how crazy she was being!? But then she finally did. Her butt, getting closer and closer to Afroman’s, finally made contact. Afroman reacted like a mousetrap. His right hand came off the guitar strings, formed a fist, and blasted into the intruder’s face.

Afroman went back to playing, disturbingly undisturbed after punching a woman out. A few seconds later, some drunk guy, presumably the disoriented girl’s boyfriend, struggled onto stage. Afroman kept playing, but made it absolutely clear he would be more than happy to fuck up the second entrant into his impromptu gladiator arena. The fan’s disapproving expression quickly changed to the universal gesture for “Whoa, whoa, I’m only here to get this drunk idiot home.” And he did indeed have more important things to worry about, as his drunk, concussed companion was now wandering aimlessly backstage.

It was a bad way to handle a difficult situation placed upon him by a shitty person, but if the world’s worst TV producer created a fight league between drunk women and guitar players twice their size, this would absolutely be the knockout highlight of the year.

3

Justin Bieber Abandoned His Dog, And His Backup Dancer Had To Pay For Its Surgery

Justin Bieber has a love/hate relationship with animals. He loves getting them and taking pictures with them, and he hates feeding them, taking care of them, and generally keeping them alive. Last year, C.J. Salvador, one of Bieber’s dancers, gave the famously irresponsible singer a puppy. Naturally, it didn’t work out so well. A routine checkup found that the puppy had severe hip dysplasia and may not be able to walk unless an $8,000 procedure was performed. Bieber didn’t want to pay for this, despite that amount literally not registering as money to him, because you should never underestimate a shitty human’s capacity for awfulness.

Justin Bieber“Sorry dude, but you know how many [current fad bullshit item]s I can buy with that?”

Salvador mounted a scrappy fundraising effort for the puppy’s surgery himself. He managed to secure over 90 donors to help Todd the dog walk again, and Bieber’s animal kill count did not grow. “At least for now,” Bieber added from the shadows. “At least for now.”

2

Vince Neil Body-Slammed a Woman Because She Snubbed Him For Nicolas Cage

As the frontman for Motley Crue, Vince Neil has had many encounters with women. In fact, mathematically speaking, 17 percent of all people reading this have Neil DNA in them, or possibly just on them. But this dude …

Elektra Records

… is well into his 50s now, so you’d think he would have mellowed out some. But no. A couple of years ago in Vegas, a woman was taking a picture with Neil when she saw Nicolas Cage. She screamed, “Nicolas, I love you!” and ran for Cage, abandoning poor Neil for a younger model — a practice he was well used to being on the other side of. Neil did what any insecure, doughy man in eyeliner would do: He grabbed her by the hair and threw her to the ground. We believe it was Archimedes who said, “Give me an innocent lady’s ponytail long enough, and I can assault the world.”

Cage sprung into action. He seized Neil in a wrestler’s clinch and screamed into his ear, “Stop this SHIT! NOW!” Cage isn’t sure what that phrase means, but it’s what his agent says to him every time he attaches himself to a project.

Neil initially deflected the allegations, saying he merely “pushed past her,” but when he realized the offense could land him up to six months in prison, he pleaded guilty. The story has a happy ending, though. Neil was forced to pay a $1,000 fine and agree to six months of not beating up random women for shockingly pathetic reasons. Oh, we meant a happy ending for Vince Neil, not the woman or the concept of justice in general.

1

Aaron Eckhart Crashed A Support Group For Grieving Parents

Aaron Eckhart, known for his portrayals of Harvey Dent and Sexy Frankenstein, needed to get deep into the emotions of a grieving father for a role. Most actors would consider what they know about sadness and then try to act sad, but Eckart knew it would take more. So he went to a support group for grieving parents and pretended his kid died.

Lionsgate“So in this scene, I’m supposed to have half a face? Well off comes half my face, then!”

We understand every artist has their own ways of working, and maybe faking a dead kid is what he needed to do. But when Eckhart did an interview on Howard Stern’s show, it seemed like he genuinely forgot other people’s for-real kids died.

We learn that when it was his turn to share, Eckhart described his character and broke down in tears, and was then consoled by the group of legitimately bereaved people over the loss of his pretend movie baby. Stern, to his credit, offered Eckhart a lifeline by asking if he later felt bad about doing it. Eckhart did not take the lifeline. In fact, he burned the lifeline and scattered its ashes into the wind. He said, “you really believe that you just lost a child. You are as close to reality in that sense as possible. I don’t want to be rude to people who have lost a child, but yeah, you feel right there. You feel like your character.”

OK, Aaron Eckhart made the reprehensible choice to go into a room with people who had real emotional problems and made them comfort him over a fake dead kid. And he doesn’t feel bad about it. But at least we got the legendary and beloved film Rabbit Hole out of it, right? We all saw and loved … Rabbit Hole? Yeah, it was all worth it for Rabbit Hole.

Greg Tuff has a Twitter, and recommends you check out his friends at Bush Gang Gaming on YouTube. Michael Battaglino is a contributor to Cracked.com. Be sure to check out some of his other work if you enjoyed this article.

Nic Cage has been in some crummy flicks, but he was in a pretty good one already in 2018 called Mom and Dad that’s worth checking out.

If you loved this article and want more content like this, support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/5-celebrities-who-did-crazy-scummy-and-underreported-stuff/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/09/01/5-celebrities-who-did-crazy-scummy-and-underreported-stuff/

[adambstingus]

5 Celebrities Who Did Crazy Scummy (And Underreported) Stuff

Maybe you’ve seen a picture of Justin Timberlake eating an apple and thought, “The stars, they’re just like us!” And while it’s true that some celebrities have apples like us — like we normal folk do for every single meal — some of them might be legitimately unhinged. Here are several ludicrous incidents wherein the stars were quite decidedly not like us.

5

50 Cent Bullied An Autistic Airline Employee

You’d think that after owning more bullet wounds than hit albums, 50 Cent (aka Curtis James Jackson III) would be a little more judicious in his dealings with strangers. But back in 2016, as he was apparently looking for ways to stave off boredom in the Cincinnati Airport, he noticed something fishy about one of the young maintenance workers. He seemed almost high, like the kind you might get from drugs — or as they’re called on the street, reefers.

50 leapt into action! No, he didn’t contact a supervisor to let them know their employee was on drugs; he got out his phone and followed the man around so he could mock him on Instagram. Hilarious, right? A drug user? At an AIRPORT!? It quickly went viral, but not in the way he was expecting.

The employee, a young man named Andrew Farrell, did his best to ignore Mr. Cent as he pointed his phone at him and lamented how “crazy” the younger generation is. He wondered aloud to his Instagram followers, “What kind of shit you think he took before he got to work today?” Sadly, this was the sort of abuse that Mr. Farrell had become accustomed to over the years. Because Mr. Farrell is not a drug addict — he’s autistic. Yes, 50 Cent was harassing and publicly humiliating a stranger because of a developmental disorder, not a drug habit.

Before our president made mocking the disabled a partisan issue, everyone agreed this was terrible. Fans were outraged, and liquor stores threatened to stop selling the faded rap star’s “Effen Vodka” brand of booze.

Effen Vodka“Effen” is, of course, a Dutch children’s game about number guessing. Wait, unless 50 Cent meant it like “Fuckin’ Vodka”? Oh 50, that’s naughty!

Read Next

The Hidden Connection Between ‘Ghostbusters’ And The Remake

As uniquely awful as this seems, it wasn’t the first time Jackson did something like this. Or even the second. A few years before, he’d landed in hot water after telling someone on Twitter “Just saw your picture fool you look autistic.” He ended another social media discussion by saying, “I don’t want no special ed kids on my timeline follow some body else.” It’s all very disappointing when someone unfairly derides another’s cognitive differences. Especially when that someone is the sort of person who claims bankruptcy while simultaneously posting photos of himself wallowing on a Scrooge-McDuck-sized pile of fake money. Maybe next time, try renting a conscience instead of a Rolex and a pile of money, Mr. Cent.

4

Both Akon And Afroman Savagely Attacked Fans On Stage

There’s an unspoken (and also very spoken) rule that you don’t get up on the stage when someone is performing. You can throw your panties and flowers, but hardly ever your beer, and never your throwing stars. When you violate these rules, you will get violently grabbed and thrown out on your ass. That’s exactly what happened to a fan at an Akon concert, only not the way you may think.

It was between songs, and Akon seemed to be doing some light crowd work. He took his shirt off and pulled an eager fan up on stage. It wasn’t a hot girl, as you’d expect a freshly shirtless singer to select. It was a nerdy guy in glasses and cargo shorts, and Akon immediately grabbed him by the dick, flung him up on his shoulders, and heaved him into the crowd. He did this not so much in a fun crowd-surfing arc, but at a low angle, directly into a pocket of girls extremely unprepared to catch a 150-pound projectile. The fan ate what most onlookers would call total shit. You can watch it here:

You’re not allowed to body-slam people to near death, even if they seemed like they were asking for it, so Akon was fined $350 and sentenced to 65 hours of community service. The stars, they are not just like us.

A strangely similar but way, way less cool incident happened at an Afroman show. Afroman was on stage playing guitar when a female fan jumped up and started stumbling around with her drink. For 10 or 15 seconds, she danced behind Afroman while he ignored her. Oh my god, can you believe how crazy she was being, you guys!?

Emboldened by the club’s lack of security, she started inching closer to Afroman. Oh my god, you guys, she was going to rub her butt on him! Can you believe how crazy she was being!? But then she finally did. Her butt, getting closer and closer to Afroman’s, finally made contact. Afroman reacted like a mousetrap. His right hand came off the guitar strings, formed a fist, and blasted into the intruder’s face.

Afroman went back to playing, disturbingly undisturbed after punching a woman out. A few seconds later, some drunk guy, presumably the disoriented girl’s boyfriend, struggled onto stage. Afroman kept playing, but made it absolutely clear he would be more than happy to fuck up the second entrant into his impromptu gladiator arena. The fan’s disapproving expression quickly changed to the universal gesture for “Whoa, whoa, I’m only here to get this drunk idiot home.” And he did indeed have more important things to worry about, as his drunk, concussed companion was now wandering aimlessly backstage.

It was a bad way to handle a difficult situation placed upon him by a shitty person, but if the world’s worst TV producer created a fight league between drunk women and guitar players twice their size, this would absolutely be the knockout highlight of the year.

3

Justin Bieber Abandoned His Dog, And His Backup Dancer Had To Pay For Its Surgery

Justin Bieber has a love/hate relationship with animals. He loves getting them and taking pictures with them, and he hates feeding them, taking care of them, and generally keeping them alive. Last year, C.J. Salvador, one of Bieber’s dancers, gave the famously irresponsible singer a puppy. Naturally, it didn’t work out so well. A routine checkup found that the puppy had severe hip dysplasia and may not be able to walk unless an $8,000 procedure was performed. Bieber didn’t want to pay for this, despite that amount literally not registering as money to him, because you should never underestimate a shitty human’s capacity for awfulness.

Justin Bieber“Sorry dude, but you know how many [current fad bullshit item]s I can buy with that?”

Salvador mounted a scrappy fundraising effort for the puppy’s surgery himself. He managed to secure over 90 donors to help Todd the dog walk again, and Bieber’s animal kill count did not grow. “At least for now,” Bieber added from the shadows. “At least for now.”

2

Vince Neil Body-Slammed a Woman Because She Snubbed Him For Nicolas Cage

As the frontman for Motley Crue, Vince Neil has had many encounters with women. In fact, mathematically speaking, 17 percent of all people reading this have Neil DNA in them, or possibly just on them. But this dude …

Elektra Records

… is well into his 50s now, so you’d think he would have mellowed out some. But no. A couple of years ago in Vegas, a woman was taking a picture with Neil when she saw Nicolas Cage. She screamed, “Nicolas, I love you!” and ran for Cage, abandoning poor Neil for a younger model — a practice he was well used to being on the other side of. Neil did what any insecure, doughy man in eyeliner would do: He grabbed her by the hair and threw her to the ground. We believe it was Archimedes who said, “Give me an innocent lady’s ponytail long enough, and I can assault the world.”

Cage sprung into action. He seized Neil in a wrestler’s clinch and screamed into his ear, “Stop this SHIT! NOW!” Cage isn’t sure what that phrase means, but it’s what his agent says to him every time he attaches himself to a project.

Neil initially deflected the allegations, saying he merely “pushed past her,” but when he realized the offense could land him up to six months in prison, he pleaded guilty. The story has a happy ending, though. Neil was forced to pay a $1,000 fine and agree to six months of not beating up random women for shockingly pathetic reasons. Oh, we meant a happy ending for Vince Neil, not the woman or the concept of justice in general.

1

Aaron Eckhart Crashed A Support Group For Grieving Parents

Aaron Eckhart, known for his portrayals of Harvey Dent and Sexy Frankenstein, needed to get deep into the emotions of a grieving father for a role. Most actors would consider what they know about sadness and then try to act sad, but Eckart knew it would take more. So he went to a support group for grieving parents and pretended his kid died.

Lionsgate“So in this scene, I’m supposed to have half a face? Well off comes half my face, then!”

We understand every artist has their own ways of working, and maybe faking a dead kid is what he needed to do. But when Eckhart did an interview on Howard Stern’s show, it seemed like he genuinely forgot other people’s for-real kids died.

We learn that when it was his turn to share, Eckhart described his character and broke down in tears, and was then consoled by the group of legitimately bereaved people over the loss of his pretend movie baby. Stern, to his credit, offered Eckhart a lifeline by asking if he later felt bad about doing it. Eckhart did not take the lifeline. In fact, he burned the lifeline and scattered its ashes into the wind. He said, “you really believe that you just lost a child. You are as close to reality in that sense as possible. I don’t want to be rude to people who have lost a child, but yeah, you feel right there. You feel like your character.”

OK, Aaron Eckhart made the reprehensible choice to go into a room with people who had real emotional problems and made them comfort him over a fake dead kid. And he doesn’t feel bad about it. But at least we got the legendary and beloved film Rabbit Hole out of it, right? We all saw and loved … Rabbit Hole? Yeah, it was all worth it for Rabbit Hole.

Greg Tuff has a Twitter, and recommends you check out his friends at Bush Gang Gaming on YouTube. Michael Battaglino is a contributor to Cracked.com. Be sure to check out some of his other work if you enjoyed this article.

Nic Cage has been in some crummy flicks, but he was in a pretty good one already in 2018 called Mom and Dad that’s worth checking out.

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from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/5-celebrities-who-did-crazy-scummy-and-underreported-stuff/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/177604784842