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helloalycia · 1 year ago

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unrequited // alicia clark

summary: after reuniting with Alicia after presuming her dead, you can’t help but think back to the last thing you said to her: that you’re in love with her.

warning/s: mentions of injury, blood and obvs the usual that comes with writing anything ftwd. also sad gay angst.

author's note: a lil one shot set in s7 that i wrote a while ago and finally got 'round to editing! it's set about the time after Morgan finds Alicia after the nuclear explosion (is that what it was? i can't even remember lol). It's been so long since i watched it so i can't even remember who the predominant characters in this part are, so apologies if it's incorrect! hope you enjoy anyway haha.

also another shameless plug but i've almost finished fully publishing my original fiction book titled 'Evie' on Wattpad so do check that out if you're into gay mermaids, pining and angst 👀

masterlist / wattpad

"It's called being efficient," I said with a hint of pride at my handiwork, but Sarah disagreed.

"It's called wasting time."

"Well, next time you happen to tear your favourite shirt, don't go asking for my help," I said to her lightheartedly, continuing to sew up a hole in my socks.

"We'll see," she mumbled, before leaving me be at the kitchen counter.

I chewed on my lip as I finished threading the needle through the hole, pulling the fabric together and tying it off. It was arguably pointless to some, but with everything going on outside the submarine that we were all seeking refuge in, I couldn't exactly go and pick up some new socks when my current ones ripped. So, why not put an old skill to practice?

After pulling my newly-repaired socks and shoes on my feet, I was about to head to my room when I heard a knocking coming from down the hall. Pausing, I listened again and realised someone was at the entry hole at the top of the ladder.

"Someone open up! It's me, Morgan!" a voice called from above when I approached the ladder.

"Oh, shit," I mumbled to myself, before calling out to him, "I'm coming, Morgan, one sec!"

"Great, thank you!" he said gratefully.

"Guys, Morgan's back!" I shouted down the hall, whilst rushing to climb the ladder.

Morgan had gone out two days ago with Grace and the baby, Mo, to seek help from Strand at his tower because Mo was sick and nobody knew what to do. Luciana, Daniel, Charlie, Sarah and I were left behind to hold down the fort, but we hadn't heard anything from him since. Naturally, we worried, but couldn't risk leaving when we promised to stay put until he returned. That, and it wasn't safe to leave without enough gas masks for us all.

But he was finally back! And as I unlatched the door above me, I prayed that everybody was okay, especially Mo.

"Morgan," I called with relief when I saw his face looking down at me. "C'mon, you were gone for so long, we were worried!"

He smiled a little, but it didn't reach his eyes, and that's when I realised things couldn't have gone well.

Knowing I had a million questions but he needed to come inside first, I jumped off the ladder and waited at the bottom to help. The others had joined me in the hallway, the lot of us anticipating what Morgan had to share.

He climbed down the ladder first and I began to help him, growing concerned when I noticed the dried blood and dirt in his clothes.

"Where's Grace? The baby?" Sarah pressed when she noticed the lack of the others. "Mo-Mo, what happened?"

"Strand took them," he said with regret, accepting my help off the ladder. His eyes followed up it, and I realised a stranger was following down after him – some girl.

"What?!" Sarah snapped, eyes widened, and everybody collectively gasped at the news.

"I managed to find an old friend, however," he continued, as I was about to lend a hand to the stranger.

Only, when she accepted my hand and jumped off the last few rungs of the ladder, my breath caught in my throat. It was Alicia, the girl who I'd presumed long gone, or even dead.

"Y/N," she exhaled, just as surprised as I was, before immediately pulling me in for a hug.

I hugged her loosely at first, oblivious to the excited comments from the others at the sight of their dear friend, and then I closed my eyes and tightened my hold, afraid to let go.

"You're here," she said with disbelief, before pulling away to meet my eyes. Hers were tired and dull, but momentarily bright as they met mine. "I mean, Morgan said you were but I didn't– I–"

When she didn't know what to say, I found my words. "I didn't know if you were alive. I was so worried, Alicia, I thought–" And then the shock faded, replaced by a nauseating guilt. "I wanted to look for you, but–"

"It wasn't safe," she finished for me, not the slightest bit offended. "I know, Y/N, I know."

I frowned, eyes flickering between hers, my heart thumping louder than ever at the mere sight of her. She was alive. She was back. She was okay.

After everybody became reacquainted with Alicia, and Morgan shared the news about Mo and Grace – Strand had taken them in, offering to 'help', but had tried to kill Morgan in the process – I went to the kitchen to get some food for them both. They'd also shared everything they'd been through after Strand stole Grace and Mo, including almost dying because of his men, getting caught up with some infected and declaring war on Strand, so it made sense as to why they both looked like they'd been through hell and back.

"Here," I said once I'd plated and warmed up some canned soup for them both, before adding for Alicia's sake, "this is all we have."

"It's perfect, thanks," she said with a nod, before digging in immediately.

Morgan nodded gratefully before doing the same. I cleaned up the mess I'd made as they were eating, before dismissing myself so I could sort out a sleeping space for Alicia. It didn't take long to find her an unoccupied bunk, and with Luciana's help, we put out some fresh sheets and found some clean clothes for Alicia. I could barely believe she was here still, having reluctantly accepted that I may never see her again, not so soon anyway.

Once I returned to the kitchen, Morgan was no longer there, but Alicia was still sat there finishing her soup.

"Hey, Luci and I have sorted out a space for you to get some sleep," I said, unsure why I suddenly felt awkward around her. "We've left some clean clothes on the bed for you, as well."

Alicia looked up, nodding, before taking the last slurp of her soup and wiping her mouth. She stood up from her stool, pausing and clutching the counter tightly for a moment.

"Hey," I started with concern, recognising she looked dizzy, and stepped forward to help, but she raised her hand to stop me.

"I'm fine," she said with a clipped tone, eyes closed as she took a deep breath.

"You don't look well," I commented, eyes scanning her face. Dark circles plagued her eyes and she was still clammy, something I thought was temporary because of the rush of the day, but clearly I was mistaken.

"Is it that obvious?" she snapped quietly, before exhaling sharply and opening her eyes, though avoiding mine.

"Sorry, I just–" I wasn't sure why she was suddenly moody, but I wanted to help somehow. "Do you need medicine? We don't have much, but I'm sure–"

"No, it won't work," she cut me off, before pushing her weight off the counter and onto her feet.

"What?"

Shaking her head, she sat back down on the stool for support. "It doesn't matter. Just give me a minute."

I nodded, though I couldn't help but worry. This wasn't the same girl I'd last seen before she was taken from us by Teddy, the homicidal maniac who believed he was a god. No, this Alicia was worn out, exhausted and sick. Something was wrong and I hated that I didn't know why. But not as much as I hated that she'd been left with him and his crazed cultist followers all alone.

"I can get you some water," I offered, wanting to do something, but she shook her head.

"I'm fine."

"Right... well, d'you wanna take your shoes off? I'm sure you've been on your feet all day, it might help."

"No, thanks."

The longer she had her head in her hand, clutching at her forehead with her eyes closed, the more I didn't know what to do.

"Can I take your gloves off you? Maybe get some air to your hands?" I asked, noticing she hadn't removed them when she was eating. "Anything, Alicia, I–"

"I said I'm fine," she repeated firmly, before wincing at the way it came out.

I pursed my lips, nodding awkwardly. A quiet followed soon after and I wasn't sure how to fill it. The last time we had spoke, before Teddy had taken her... it hadn't been ideal. I was certain I'd ruined everything between us when I told her the truth about how I felt – that I was in love with her – and accepted that I might have lost her forever when she never told me what she thought because of the Teddy incident that occurred afterwards. But now she was back and things were awkward and the giant elephant in the room wasn't helping.

"I'm really glad you're okay," she suddenly spoke, voice soft but weighted with gratitude. "That you got out with the others."

"I'm sorry I couldn't get to you," I said, taking a seat on the stool beside her. "It all happened so quickly, with Teddy taking you. We were running out of time and we didn't know where to go and–"

"I'm glad you didn't go after me," she interrupted, looking up at me. "It wouldn't have been safe. They would have killed you if you tried anything, and if you didn't find me, the explosion would have. You were right to get out when you could."

Just because she said it didn't make me feel any better. Leaving Alicia behind was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do and I was certain I'd live with my regrets forever, even now that she was back with me.

"What happened, Alicia?" I asked. "Where were you?"

She exhaled tiredly, like the answer wasn't so easy. And when she began to tell me what, I realised it wasn't. She spoke of the moment Teddy took her, revealing his plans to blow everything up and keep his followers safe in a bunker that she was locked in with no escape. She told me about how she tried to escape, how they wouldn't let her, about Will, someone who tried to help her and was now dead because of Strand. And the the biggest surprise of all was when she revealed that she'd been bitten when she tried to escape, an infected leaving its mark on her arm, and how she had to saw off her own forearm to survive.

None of it seemed to phase her as she shared it, but I found myself tearing up at all of it. Naturally, my eyes fell to her arm when she told me, but they were both covered by forearm-length gloves.

"The fever won't leave," she explained, and it was beginning to make sense why she looked the way she did, pale and sweaty and exhausted. "The infection is killing me, Y/N."

"No," I muttered, refusing to believe it, because how was that fair? How could she have to go through all of that because some psychopath stole her away and tried to enforce his sick fantasies on her?

Alicia tugged off her glove, revealing a metal cast with a bone in it and a sharp knife at the end, all attached as a sleeve on her actual arm. I was speechless when I saw it, eyes unable to take in what I was seeing.

"Yeah, that's kind of how Morgan reacted, too," she said once she noticed my expression, sounding neither offended or annoyed.

"Alicia, I'm so sorry all of that happened to you," I said, finding my words as she replaced her glove.

The thought of her having to undergo all of that trauma by herself hurt, but she was the strongest person I knew. If she could do all of that, she could beat a little fever.

"Don't be sorry," she said. "It was better me than any of you."

I frowned, resisting the urge to hold her hand. "You don't know that that's what's making you sick. It could be something else."

"I do," she said patiently. "The infection was slowed down, but not gone entirely."

"But you could've got to it in time," I said hopefully.

"Y/N, I've tried everything," she lashed out, before swallowing hard and lowering her voice. "It won't go away. I'm dying."

I clenched my jaw, frustrated at the situation and refusing to give up just because she said so. "No. I don't think you are."

"Whatever."

She was bitter, avoiding my eyes and clearly peeved at my optimism. I stood up suddenly, earning her attention.

"You're not dying," I told her with certainty. "Not after everything. Not if I can help it."

"Uh-huh," she played along as if to avoid an argument, but I didn't let it bait me.

It was just a fever. We could break it. I truly believed we could.

The next day, a few of the others had gone out on a supply run, leaving Luciana, Daniel and I to stay back and keep an eye on Alicia, even if she didn't know it. Her fever wasn't letting up, even with the medication we gave her, and she was currently napping in her bunk per our instructions after she almost passed out at lunch.

It was my turn to watch her, so I was sat on a stool by the bottom bunk where she was currently fast asleep. A book was in my hand, an attempt to distract me and give her a little space, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't stealing glances at her every now and then. Eventually, her eyes began to flutter and her movement made me put my book down.

"Hey," I said gently, not wanting to startle her.

She blinked tiredly, eyes distant and confused. "Are the others back yet?"

"Not yet. How d'you sleep?"

She breathed out slowly, lifting both hands to rub her eyes, only to realise her mistake when one of them was missing. She'd removed her metal cast before going to sleep, along with her gloves. With a quiet sigh, she nodded to the opposite side of the room.

"Can you pass me my arm, please?" she asked, sitting up and swinging her legs over the edge of the bunk.

"You don't have to wear that in here if you don't want to," I reminded her, noticing she didn't answer my previous question. "It's just us."

"I do," she said dismissively, before nodding to her amputated arm. "It's ugly. The arm makes me feel normal. Like I once was."

As I got up to grab it, along with her gloves, I said, "You may think that, but I think it's just a part of you, and no part of you could ever be ugly, Alicia."

She froze at my words, jaw tensing slightly, and I realised I'd said too much. My intention was never to make her feel uncomfortable – quite the opposite actually – but judging from her reaction, I had.

"But my opinion doesn't mean anything," I added, hoping to ease the situation, "so here." I handed her the arm and gloves before deciding to leave, knowing it would be for the best.

As I was, she finally spoke up from behind me, stopping me in my tracks. "I can't give you what you want."

Turning around slowly, I met her unreadable gaze. "I didn't ask for anything."

She licked her lips, looking down at her hand. "What you said, the last time we saw each other... I can't..."

"I didn't ask for anything," I repeated, interrupting her. "And I already know. Your silence at the time said it all."

It wasn't easy to forget the look of disbelief she gave me once I'd said the words – I love you, Alicia – and the silence that followed after my declaration. She never told me what she thought or felt, but it was obvious enough.

I swallowed thickly, hoping my sadness wasn't showing. "You were my friend long before anything else, so I was only hoping to treat you as such. If that's too weird for you, then I'll step back."

When she didn't reply, nor look up at me, my insides shrivelled a little.

"For the record," I added defensively, "I didn't want anything from you. I've only ever been honest with you."

Again, she didn't answer, and I took that as an answer in itself and turned to leave. I knew she didn't feel the same as I – her silence spoke volumes – but it still made my heart crumble a little, hearing her finally admit it or imply it or whatever the hell that was just then.

Since Alicia and I's awkward encounter, I knew it was probably best to keep my distance and only converse when we needed to. Personally, I could live with only being her friend, but she didn't want that and I wasn't going to force myself on her. She was fair to want that, even if she'd gone about it in the wrong way. So, I stayed away.

Instead, I focused my energy on helping Luciana help Daniel, who was forgetting things slowly with time. He believed his daughter, Ofelia, was still alive and out there, so it was a struggle keeping him in the sub where it was safe. That, and creating a plan to get Grace and Mo back whilst simultaneously stopping Strand was keeping everyone busy.

It was a few days later when Alicia had left, following a lead on where this 'PADRE' person or place could be – according to Morgan, anyway. It wasn't like she'd said anything to me before she left. I didn't even know she'd gone until Morgan let everyone know afterwards.

She wasn't well, her fever only getting worse over the past few days, and the last thing she should have been doing was going outside all alone, chasing a lead that might not even exist. But it wasn't my business, I suppose, and she wouldn't have listened to my protests anyway.

As much as I pretended I didn't care, I did. And my concern only worsened when Alicia finally returned to us, though not by choice. It was Morgan who had brought her back after searching for her because she was gone too long. He'd found her unconscious and could barely carry her back to the submarine without needing extra hands. My heart had fallen into my gut when I saw her out of it, dark eyes closed and highly contrasting her pale skin.

Immediately jumping into action, I helped Morgan take her to her bunk, taking off her socks, shoes and jacket. She would have cursed me out or dropped some passive aggressive comment, but I also removed her gloves and arm, needing to get some fresh air to her skin. She was burning up, hair glued to her forehead, and my heart was shrinking the longer I watched her.

"You're gonna be okay," I whispered to her, even though she couldn't hear a thing. "You've got to be."

My fingers pushed her damp curls behind her ear, the sweat beading on her skin. She was too hot, but the cold cloth I was dabbing seemed to cool her down a little.

If things hadn't gotten so messed up between us – if I hadn't confessed my damn feelings to her – then maybe she would have trusted me enough to come with her to find whatever PADRE was. I couldn't have cared less about it, but at least I could have been there to make sure she was taking care of herself. We were so close at one point, as thick as thieves, and now she wanted nothing to do with me. I hated it.

But more importantly, I hated myself for being selfish for one moment, because it had cost me my friendship with her.

I stayed with her for a while, replacing the cold towel and dabbing her skin to bring down her temperature. My worry wouldn't let me leave her side, not whilst she was like this. But as soon as I saw her green eyes flicker open with confusion, I knew she'd want me gone.

"Morgan?" I called, standing up and putting the towel to the side. "She's awake!"

He was in the room in no time, just as concerned as I, and sighed with relief when he saw her fully waking up. I moved past him, giving him no chance to ask what was what, and left to go somewhere else.

I went to my bunk in another room, grateful nobody was there to see my disheartened self. At least she was okay. Morgan would make sure of it.

Busying myself with folding some washed clothes, trying to distract myself from the impending doom that seemed to be following us wherever we went, I almost didn't hear the knock on my open door.

"Yes?" I spun around, then paused, surprised to see Alicia standing there.

"Hey," she said quietly, voice hoarse.

"Hey," I murmured, still surprised that she was talking to me. "I'm glad you're up, but maybe you should rest."

She didn't look the best still, especially as she leaned against the door for support. But if she heard me say anything, she didn't let on. Her eyes were focused on the floor, distracted, and then she finally looked up, startled gaze meeting mine.

"You have to forgive me," she said suddenly, desperately. "For lying to you. For pushing you away. For making you feel worse."

My brows furrowed. "What?"

She began to frown, eyes watering. "I might be dying. And I know it's selfish, especially after everything, but I miss you, Y/N. And I've loved you this whole time, but you deserve better."

My eyes widened at her confession. This was the last thing I expected to hear, especially with the silent treatment and distance we'd shared these past few days.

"Say something, please," she pleaded.

I swallowed hard, looking around as if the answer would be right there. "I... I don't know what to say."

She tensed her jaw with uncertainty, waiting.

I took a moment, finding the right words to say. Calmly, I said, "If this is all true–"

"It is," she cut me off instantly, and I stared at her, unmoving.

"Why are you telling me now?" I asked. "What's changed?"

She sighed, ashamed. "The closer I get to dying, the worse I feel and the more scared I become."

"Alicia, you're not dying," I said sternly, sick of hearing it, but she only winced slightly in response and I knew she didn't believe me.

"I am," she said with finality, making me frown. "And I thought that pushing you away would be what was fair. It still is, for you." Inhaling sharply, she avoided my eyes. "I'll be gone and it's not fair to tell you how I feel when that'll happen, but I can't help it. If I'm only here for so long, I... I want it to be with you." Her eyes crept back to mine, glistening with unshed tears. "I don't want to go knowing that I didn't have to be alone in the end. That I pushed you away."

My heart was full as I watched her, her own heart on her sleeve, expression full of embarrassment, shame and guilt. It made sense what she was saying, but I only wished she hadn't thought like that.

"Firstly," I started, approaching her, "you're not dying, so quit saying that. Secondly, I'm gonna help you. This isn't it, okay?" I followed her eyes, refusing to let her break contact. "But no more stupid walkabouts without help. Thirdly, the fact that you thought pushing me away would be fair to me is insane. In case you didn't hear me the last time, I'm in love with you. Have been for a long. Why the hell would you think I'd just get over you like that? That I wouldn't forgive you?"

"But I was horrible," she reminded me. "I disregarded your feelings."

I looked down, holding out my hand. She placed hers in mine reluctantly, and I squeezed it gently to show her I meant what I was saying.

"You're not now," I told her. "And I would have had you in my life as a friend, an enemy, even a stranger, rather than not at all. You could literally tell me you hate me and I'd still be here. Guess that's what love does, right?"

When I looked up, her eyes were on mine, a tear having slipped out. Her lips were trembling and it broke my heart.

"Come here," I said, tugging her close, and she fell right into me, hugging me tight.

I fought back my own tears as I wrapped my arms around her, grateful to have her back. It was just my luck that she loved me, too.

After a moment, I tried to pull apart, but she stopped me, immediately pressing her lips to mine in a sloppy, desperate, teary kiss. I closed my eyes, kissing her back whilst letting her lean on me for support. When we pulled apart, I cupped her face and wiped her tears away with my thumbs, not wanting her to be so upset anymore. I leaned in, pressing a brief kiss to her lips, the butterflies in my stomach almost lifting me off the ground. Any other instance and I would have been too caught up in the fact that she liked me, too, but her well-being was my biggest concern right now.

"I'm sorry," she said, barely a whisper.

"You don't need to apologise," I told her, before letting go of her face and taking her hand. "You do need to rest though. C'mon."

I half expected her to protest, but she let me take her back to her bunk. I didn't leave her side as she lay back down, a relieved sigh escaping her lips. Stroking my fingers in her hair, I was glad to see her eyes closing contently, appreciating the momentary peace.

"I promise I'm gonna fix this," I said with conviction. "You're going to get better."

"But if I don't–"

"No buts," I stopped her. "You will."

She opened her eyes slowly, an almost childlike wonder in them, both desperate and hopeful. Those were the same eyes I'd fallen in love with over the years, the same eyes I'd once avoided because I was too scared to admit how I felt. Never did I believe I'd end up here.

She nodded at my words and I'd almost forgotten I'd spoken because of how distracted I got. I pressed a tender kiss to her forehead and continued to stroke her hair, watching her eyes close yet again.

I wasn't going to lose her, not now that I had her back.

#alicia clark #alicia clark x reader #alicia clark imagine #alicia clark x you #alycia debnam carey #fear the walking dead imagine #fear the walking dead #ftwd #feartwd

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saiilorstars · 1 year ago

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Ch.5: The Worldwide Initiative

Steve Rogers x OFC fic • squeeze your eyes for a Bucky Barnes x (2nd) OFC

taglist: @ocappreciationtag @arrthurpendragon @anotherunreadblog @maaaaarveeeeel @stareyedplanet @gloryekaterina @averyhotchner @foxesandmagic @lenonizi@kmc1989

Story Masterlist • Seren’s Masterlist• Chloe’s Masterlist

Also available on Fanfic ○ Ao3 ○ Wattpad

If you’d like to be a part of this OC’s work/edits, let me know!

Seren rocked on her feet so many times that she might end up breaking her own heels. She couldn't help it — she was beyond nervous. She was introducing her new team to the World Security Council and the evening was already in march.

"If you don't quit doing that, you'll be shoeless by midnight." Her director came by to stand beside her. Seren eyed the glass in Rebeca's hand. How Rebeca was so casual was beyond Seren. "And I don't need Cinderella, I need Agent Seren Soul right now, even though you do look like Cinderella right now."

Seren could only minimally laugh before the nerves crept in her stomach again. Several people had already arrived at the event. Waiters were passing by tables, offering drinks. Everything was casual, except for Seren herself. "I have been working my ass for the past 2 years and if the Council says 'no' then it was all a waste."

"They won't say 'no'," Rebeca shook her head. "They would be idiots if they did."

"Never stopped them before."

Rebeca nearly choked on her drink. "Ouch. Keep that one to yourself, alright? That might make them refuse to expand the Initiative."

Seren flushed with embarrassment. She hadn't meant to let that one slip but her thoughts about the Council had never been the best. She was too wary of them. She knew there were secrets under secrets when it came to the Council, even if Fury said it was all for their security. And being who she was, a potential threat as once stated 2 years ago, she felt like she would never be able to fully trust the Council.

"Simply speak about what the Initiative means to you and we'll be fine," Rebeca patted Seren's arm. "Drink?"

Seren shook her head at the offered glass and walked a little bit off. She could see the very team that she'd be talking about later on coming through the entrance doors.

Risha, Jordan, Blake and Alison were the lucky overseas versions of the Avengers' Initiative. More than a team, Seren looked at them as close friends. They'd been working heavily and close for too long to be anything but friends now.

"This looks great." Risha, the team's own leader, looked around with the biggest smile on her face. Seren thought it was better for Risha to be excited than nervous like she was. "Is the Council already here?"

"No," Seren shook her head. "But they'll be here soon."

"So what happens?" Blake was more on the nervous side like Seren. "Are we...are we supposed to speak to anyone?"

"Only if you want to," Seren said clearly. "But I'll be the one handling the questions. Of course I can't promise what'll happen afterwards."

"Can we have drinks first?" asked Jordan, the most calm of the team so far. He seemed completely ready which is what allowed Seren to think that perhaps she'd done a good job preparing them for this.

"Yes, of course," she chuckled but stopped when she spotted some familiar faces coming in. "Actually, before you go, there's a few people I want you to meet. Maybe it'll make things less nerve-wrecking for some of you later on."

"I'll try anything," Alison said with a hand rubbing endlessly over her stomach.

Seren brought them to meet Natasha first. It seemed only right since Natasha had been the first person Seren ever got to work with closely after turning 18.

"So you're the ones who took Seren away," Natasha shook hands with all of them. "I hope you're as good as she said you are."

"Natasha likes being very sarcastic sometimes," Seren chuckled nervously. Natasha almost laughed too when she felt Seren's gripping hand on her shoulder. She was silently being asked to tone it down. "But she's one of the best agents at S.H.I.E.L.D., definitely somebody you don't want to cross."

Natasha winked at the several nervous faces now staring at her. "You'll be fine kids. You had Seren training you. She's one of the best. Oh look, there's Fury right now," she pointed at the man making his way around a few other guests.

"Oh God no!" Alison shook her head with absolute fear. "Do we have to speak directly to him?" She turned to Seren, hopelessly helpless which was more than amusing for the others.

"Calm down Ally," Risha moved over to her side. "We'll be fine. What Agent Romanoff said is true. We had the best Agent training us." She cast a warm smile towards Seren.

"Nicely put," Natasha said. "Can I have a moment with your star trainer?" Seren playfully rolled her eyes at the redhead. Natasha waited for the trainees to leave before she spoke again. "So, I don't see your family around. Not even Agent Atria."

"Yeah I wouldn't waste time searching for them," Seren sighed. "Mom and Dad were never on board with me leaving and they especially don't like this whole scene."

"And grandma?"

"She never trusts the Council."

Natasha thought that was fair, very fair. "Mm, Steve and Chloe are coming in. They might be busy though…"

Seren followed her gaze to see the pair trying to make their way inside but whether or not he wanted it, Steve always grabbed attention. Seren learned quickly that she hated the people the attention came from. "I'll be attending to my team," she told Natasha rather quietly.

Natasha watched Seren go off in her put-out way and barely held the edges of her mouth from curving into a smirk. It was too damn obvious sometimes and even that wasn't enough.

~ 0 ~

It was much later when Chloe was able to find Seren without any of her trainees around her. "You're a very needed woman," Chloe laughed as she hugged Seren. "Haven't been able to get a word with you."

"Busy," Seren said and brought her current glass of champagne to her lips. "As are you guys."

"Mm, not so much me. You know that I hate attention. I prefer to stick to the shadows."

"Do you do that with Tony a lot?" Seren's question startled Chloe and even though she tried shaking it off with another laugh, Seren didn't fall for it. "Steve's told me you've been weird lately, and then he got the idea that you might be sneaking around to see Tony. What's that about?"

Chloe visibly gulped. "Well, I…I've just been busy, that's all."

Seren looked at Chloe long and hard. While her haze never wavered, Chloe's stance became shifty. Whether or not Chloe liked it, Seren had the ability to create a faux motherly glare.

"Have you been seeing Stark about your condition?" There was no room in Seren's tone for an argument or an excuse.

Chloe swallowed thickly again. "Is this really what you want to talk about right now?"

"I'm nervous as hell and you're dodging me at every corner, so yeah," Seren nodded. "What have you been up to, Chloe?"

Chloe pressed her tongue against the side of her cheek. "You know Tony, he's just a...very rich man with a lot of curiosity. I don't think it's odd that he'd be interested in what goes on in my head."

"So he is studying your condition?" Seren raised an eyebrow. "S.H.I.E.L.D. does that already. What could Tony tell you that S.H.I.E.L.D. hasn't?"

"That's what I'm seeing," said Chloe. "Plus, don't tell anyone, but he's kind of making me a suit."

"A suit?"

"Yeah, and don't worry, he's making one for you too."

"Ah, great," Seren drank from her glass again. "So, again, why isn't this common information? Steve is worried about you and he swears you won't tell him anything."

"I just didn't want to make more problems," Chloe said quickly as an excuse. "You know how they are when they're together."

"Why wouldn't you tell me about it then?" Seren watched as Chloe faltered again. "We're supposed to be best friends and yet in these 2 years I've been away, you never once mentioned to me that you're having problems with your powers."

"I…Seren, c'mon, you've been so busy and I — I just didn't want to add more to your plate!" Chloe said, smiling awkwardly.

"No matter how stressed I am, I always want to know how you're doing," Seren said sternly. "And to tell you the truth, right now I get what Steve was trying to tell me. You're acting strange, Chloe."

"I-I'm not—"

"You might get away with it because Steve doesn't know you like I do. I know you're hiding something and starting tomorrow, you and I are going to sit down and discuss everything." Once again, Seren's voice held no room for arguments. Chloe's fate was sealed.

Chloe let out a long breath. "Honestly, Seren, this is your night and you're making it all about me!"

"I'm multitasking!" Seren finally drowned the remainder of her drink and quickly sought out another waiter.

Chloe had never seen Seren be so willing when it came to alcohol. In less than a minute, Seren had gone halfway with her second drink. "Are you okay?" Chloe asked. This was supposed to be one of the most important nights of Seren's life after all.

Seren couldn't answer without giving implications but Chloe would be damned if Seren left her on hold like that. She took Seren's glass and held it behind her back when Seren tried taking it back. "What is it?"

It probably wouldn't have been that hard to keep in if it wasn't killing Seren to watch it. In the end, she let out a breath. "I forgot how hard it was sometimes to talk to Steve outside of home and S.H.I.E.L.D."

Chloe looked back and chuckled when he saw Steve still being bombarded by several people. "I know, it's so funny." But when she shifted her gaze back to Seren, she realized it wasn't that funny for her. "You're mad—"

"I am not mad," Seren snapped, trying to reach for her drink.

Chloe easily stretched her arm high above her head to where Seren had no hope of getting it. "Sounds like you're mad to meee!" Chloe sing-sung.

Seren huffed and gave up winning her drink back. "It happened the last time we went out too," Seren said, her abrupt change of subjects showing just a bit more of a deep angry feeling. "We were trying to get simple curry and this...this waitress just kept coming to our table. She gave some crappy excuses but I knew she was just there to chat up with Steve. I swear everybody acts like they want him."

"Uh, hello!?" Chloe thumped Seren on the side of her head.

"Ow!"

"Everybody does want him!" Chloe rolled her eyes. "You're the last one to find out! Right now you're talking to one of the few people who don't want to sleep with him."

Seren scrunched her face and shook her head. "Chloe!"

"I'm telling you how it is! I swear Seren that you're incredibly smart but so stupid at the same time!" Some tough love is what Seren needed right now. Chloe put Seren's glass on the nearest table then set her hands on Seren's shoulders. "We all know that you and Steve decided to stay friends but that's not really working out for either of you." Seren scoffed but Chloe kept a firm grip on her shoulders to keep her there. "You really don't see it? You're dying of jealousy and when you're not looking, Steve mopes around because you're not here."

"...I'm not dying of jealousy," muttered Seren.

"No, you're just seething with it."

Seren's eyes snapped to Chloe's. "Please..." she ended up sighing. She had no energy to argue and, if she was being honest with herself, she had nothing to argue with. Chloe, despite her fantastic way of putting it, was absolutely right. "Do you think I made the wrong choice?" she suddenly asked. "Two years ago, I told Steve that we had no time for a relationship. I was on the other side of the world — I probably will be after this too — and I couldn't bind him to a relationship like the one we would have."

Chloe tilted her head at Seren, not really giving Seren an idea of what she was thinking. "I get why you did it but has it really done any good to either of you?"

Seren shrugged. "I've done a lot with my time in London and I know Steve has done some good here."

"Yeah, no one's going to argue that but you guys are miserable because you can't move on from each other." Chloe couldn't imagine herself ever being in a situation like that. She was always very straightforward with what she wanted. She was the one who ended up asking her last boyfriend in high school out on a date. She wasn't much for pinning.

"I didn't know it was going to be like this," Seren admitted. "I thought time and distance would be exactly what we needed to...to forget. I have never been in a situation like this." She hardly dated in her teen years because she was always trying to keep herself under the radar and even when she was older and more situated with S.H.I.E.L.D., she never dated seriously. "I was supposed to move on and-and I don't know, go back to normal, but I haven't! Nothing's gone back to normal and I hate it! I hate feeling like this!" Chloe chuckled lightly, and in her state Seren took it with annoyance. "Am I amusing to you right now?"

"Seren, you don't get why you can't move on?" Chloe tilted her head at Seren. "You really don't know?"

Seren's shoulders slumped at the question. It was clear as day that she knew the answer. "Of all the people…"

"Don't do that," Chloe cut her off. "Don't do the 'of all the people in the world, why did I have to go and choose him?' It's a pointless question with no answer. You don't get to pick. It happens, and it happened because it was supposed to."

"I was supposed to fall in love with some guy from the 40s?" Seren smiled sourly. "I couldn't have just picked someone—"

Chloe didn't even let Seren finish again. "Most of the time, you were afraid to date. You were afraid of how men would see you once they learned about you. I don't think you've really thought about that stuff with Steve, have you?"

"I mean…sometimes…"

"But in the end, it doesn't matter because Steve's not exactly the most normal guy out there either. I think this was fate and you trying to act like it's not is just plain stupid."

"So what am I supposed to do?" Seren nabbed her drink from the table and drank it before Chloe even blinked.

"Well for starters, maybe you shouldn't get drunk before you talk to the Council?" Chloe sarcastically shrugged. "And then maybe just talk to Steve? Trust me, he's willing to listen."

Seren sighed. "Even if I did talk to him about it, what am I supposed to say? That I'm taking back everything I said 2 years ago? I can't...that's not fair to him, Chloe. I don't even know if I'm going to be here after this. They want me in France."

"Do you want to be in France?"

Seren swallowed hard and took to biting her bottom lip. Time was, she knew exactly what she wanted but lately that wasn't the case anymore. Her eyes drifted over to Steve who was currently having a conversation with a few people. She could say with certainty that the only thing she knew right now was that she wanted him.

Chloe presumed where Seren's thoughts went and because she loved Seren, she decided to help her out a bit. "Stay here," she patted Seren's arm then headed off in Steve's direction.

Seren dreaded what Chloe would do. "N-n-no, Chloe!" she whisper-hissed after the blonde. "Come back!"

Chloe only flashed a smirk then headed off, leaving Seren with a near heart attack. She cleared her throat loudly once she was close enough to the group. "Scuse me, scuse me, Agent Winters here — back off vultures!" She practically shoved two women in her way. They were a bit too close to Steve anyways.

As always, Steve was amused with her. "Hey Chloe," he said and, though he didn't say it, he was relieved that she was able to get him some space.

"You seem popular tonight," Chloe crossed her arms.

"Not my fault," he was quick to say. "But I did slip in as much as I could about Seren."

"I'm sure you did," Chloe laughed. "Have you gotten a chance to talk to her yet?"

"No, it's been cra—"

"You should, she's not doing that great!" Chloe's smirk widened when Steve grew concerned in record time. "Nervous, you know? I think it would do her some good to have some support from the Golden Boy."

Steve rolled his eyes at her. "I already told Natasha not to call me that."

"Just go and make sure she doesn't screw up her night." Chloe made a motion of someone over-drinking and that was definitely enough to make Steve take off. He knew that it took Seren a bit longer to get drunk than the average human but the point still stood that she could get drunk. She would hate herself forever if she did that to herself tonight of all nights.

Seren had just accepted a new glass from a waiter when he finally found her. Just as she was about to drink from it, he swooped in and took the glass from her. Their height difference would prove a challenge for her to get it back.

"We need to talk," he announced.

"Oh God, what did Chloe say?" Seren felt her heart was about to burst from her chest.

"That you're nervous and you're over-drinking."

Okay, so Chloe hadn't completely ruined her...yet. Seren took in a breath to ease her nerves. "It's a big night and I find myself confused about some things." That technically was true — very true, actually.

"I'm sure you'll do fine," Steve said with all the certainty in the world. "You always do. You've been training these guys for two years and the Council knows it needs more Agents like you."

"Thanks," Seren whispered, though she still didn't look more cheered up like Steve would've wanted her to be.

She looked so pretty tonight and she wasn't remotely happy. How on earth was that okay?

She folded her arms over her chest and looked away from him. She was in a soft blue satin dress with a cowl neckline and thin straps. Her new star pendant rested around her neck, shining constantly with each of her movements. While it covered one of her star birthmarks, her second birthmark was on her right shoulder, just where her arm began. It was the smallest of stars, but still very present. Steve knew she was a lot more self conscious about it than she let on, and so she didn't really expose it that much. He thought it suited her well because she was just that: a star.

When Seren accepted yet another glass from a waiter, Steve sprung into action.

"Hey!" Seren was tired of her drinks getting stolen by tall people.

"Let's save that for another day," Steve said in a rush. "Can I ask you to dance?"

"What—?" Seren froze altogether, only her eyes flickered to the side. She wondered if Chloe had told him — or forced him— to do this.

"I promise I'll try my best to not step on your feet…" Steve said, offering her a smile, "But if I do, feel free to step on me."

Seren laughed on the spot. It was a huge win.

She reached for his hand and walked with him. "I'm wearing heels," she remarked.

"I know…"

"So you know that if I step on you, I'm gonna stab you."

"Yeah, that I didn't connect…" Somehow, Steve was sure he'd survive it. The moment was very worth the risk. He held her just like the last time they danced together, only this time he knew he couldn't do what he did last time. Kissing was strictly off the table.

Maybe Seren was thinking something similar to that because she kept looking around. "It's concerning that I've lost sight of Chloe…" she mumbled. She could no longer see where Chloe had gotten off to and that meant she could be doing things in secret. "You know you were right. She's seeing Stark about her powers."

"And neither one mentioned a thing," Steve said, discreetly taking a look around as well. "How very surprising."

"Chloe swears that she didn't want to bother anyone…"

"And what do you think?"

"I think there's something going on that she doesn't want us to know about. I might be visiting Stark in the near future. I'd invite you but I don't want you to kill each other."

Steve smirked. "You say it like it's my fault the guy's insufferable."

"You two could stand to tolerate each other better," Seren said, finally meeting his eye. "If Stark is truly trying to help Chloe, then we'd be on the same team—again."

"Would you be willing to work with him, then?'

"I guess. At the end of the day, he's not a bad guy. Just has some flaws like everyone else."

Steve had to agree, as much as it pained him. "I'm just surprised that Chloe managed to get Tony to help her out."

Seren hummed then chuckled. "Oh, Chloe can charm her way into anything." She happened to look around again and, to her relief, and maybe to prove her point, she found Chloe. She was at the center of the reporters, and to the side was Natasha shaking her head. "Oh brother, she goes," Seren said with another laugh.

Steve followed Seren's gaze and saw what was happening. He had a laugh or two as well. "You know, she makes it look easy. The limelight is terrible."

Seren's eyes flickered to him suddenly. "You looked quite at home to me earlier."

"What? Before?" Steve blinked. Seren nodded. "That's not home to me. I'd much rather be in my actual home or with our friends. Maybe some curry on the side…?" He waited until Seren couldn't hold it back and smiled. "There we go — you should be just like this when you speak to the Council. Nobody can deny you anything when you smile like that."

Seren felt her face warm up. "Thanks for coming." She realized she hadn't shown her gratitude to him until now. "I wouldn't admit this to anyone else but I kind of wished my parents were here. I've worked on this assignment for 2 years and if this goes as planned, I will have created — recreated — one of the most important Initiatives that S.H.I.E.L.D. struggled to take off the first time around."

"Despite your differences I think that they'd be proud of you." Though Steve wouldn't say that he was irritated neither of her parents showed up for this, he wanted to believe that they were indeed proud of Seren's accomplishments. "Even Atria hadn't come tonight, after all.

Seren nodded. "Well...I'm happy that you're here," she said with a tint of pink on her cheeks. "My backup, right?"

"Of course. You know I've been talking you up to those people," Steve nodded towards the group that Chloe had finally disbanded. "Every last good thing about you. They're primed and ready."

"Thank you, that means a lot."

"So you want to tell me why you were so upset earlier now?"

Seren's face felt even hotter when she remembered her alleged jealousy. "Um…" she cleared her throat, "No, I…I was just…so nervous. Very nervous."

"You shouldn't be, because you've done amazing. You'll be great tonight. And after, when everything goes great, maybe we can celebrate with some curry or some sweet cinnamon rolls?"

Seren would have liked to say that just how Steve claimed no one could deny her anything, she couldn't deny him anything either...not when he had those charming eyes of his. "I'd like that," she found herself nodding.

"Good, and the only requisite is that you can't have another drink tonight," Steve laughed as Seren groaned.

"I literally can't get drunk!"

"Not taking any chances tonight, sweetheart." As soon as the last word left his mouth, Steve regretted it out of sheer fear of her reaction. When he looked at Seren, she was smiling softly at him. Her heart had pinged in the best of ways.

~ 0 ~

It was funny how the nerves seemed to fade the more Seren talked about what her last 2 years in London had been about. The trainees had gathered behind her while she addressed the guests. The Council, though menacing, hadn't opposed anything so far. It was a good sign that Seren would take for encouragement.

"Risha Taylor here" — she gestured to the young woman in question — "is an expert in combat and communications. She is no doubt the perfect leader for a special team like this." Risha herself stepped up beside Seren. "She was the first candidate I chose and moved through every challenge I posed for her—"

"Couldn't that have been a rushed decision on your part, Agent Soul?" One Councilwoman suddenly interjected. It caught Risha by surprise but Seren didn't falter.

She put on a smile instead. "Not at all. Before choosing her, I screened thousands of candidates for the position. Risha went through extensive one-on-one reviews and training before I gave her the title of Leader. I don't make 'rushed decisions', Councilwoman Hawley." Seren's smile was strained but authoritative — she was not to be challenged. She had dealt with the Council on various occasions in the past. "Being constantly trained since I was a kid for this very Initiative has given me a very apt perspective on this matter. It is why Director Fury—" she made a motion to the very man standing beside the Council, "—proposed that I oversee this assignment."

"Some would say that your young age has made you a little biased instead," Councilman Yen said. "This is what you know so...how do we know that your team is truly ready for the assignments that may come their way?"

"Because I have the exams to prove it," Seren responded nearly sarcastically. Some of these questions felt redundant. "I'm not just talking the talk — I'm walking the walk."

Chloe smirked. She was glad to see that Seren was forgetting those nerves and sticking it to the Council. "I love that woman…" Her eyes then drifted towards the Council who didn't seem so amused with Seren's metaphor. "I always hate these people," she whispered at her lowest to Steve and Natasha on either side of her.

"Can they be trusted?" Steve felt like his question was pretty much answered by the mere appearances of the Council. Not one of them cracked even half of a smile. "I don't understand, why wouldn't they want the Initiative to be a success again?"

"Because the Council has never been on-board having half-alien Agents in S.H.I.E.L.D.," Natasha said just as another member stopped Seren again in the middle of her explanation for Joshua's position. "She and Atria are seen as potential threats should they turn to the, uh, dark side." Chloe giggled at Natasha's tone.

"Seren would never," Steve could almost roll his eyes at the absurd idea.

"Yeah, but think about if she did?" Natasha flashed him a smirk. "She's twice as strong as the rest of us — rivaling you — and she has literal star powers. She's a threat if she wants to be one. She proved it the last time."

"Nonsense," Chloe stuck her tongue out, though she quickly pulled back in when Steve shot her a look to control herself.

Seren, however, answered the series of questions thrown her way without a slight indication that she was uncomfortable anymore. "I assure you that I have chosen my team with the utmost caution and logical reasoning. Each member I chose brings a different specialty to the team. They function as a whole, just as a team should."

"But the original team — your team, I should add — didn't necessarily follow that logic," one of the male Councilmen, Rockwell, remarked. "How can we be sure that this team of yours won't disband like yours did?"

Seren cocked her head to the side, having to bite her tongue before something unprofessional slipped out. She didn't realize how irritated she was until now. "Well, Councilman Rockwell, first of all — unlike the original team, this team wasn't brought into a room and expected to work as a team in the course of one day. They all met once they were each individually trained and ready to combine their training. They have had 2 years to perfect their weaknesses using one another for help. My original team was not so lucky. I was the only member who had extensive training specifically for the task of the Initiative. Agents Romanoff and Barton had their training for different assignments. Mr. Stark was made terribly confused by denying him the position and then proceeding to pull him in anyways as if nothing happened. Captain Rogers was a bit preoccupied learning to live in our world to focus completely on the Initiative. And last, but not least, it was decided to bring Dr. Banner to an enclosed, glorified, ship where he could Hulk out at any moment. So if we didn't stay together, it wasn't because we failed the Initiative. We were never made to be on the same page. This team—" Seren pointed behind her to the trainees, "—has had every opportunity that we didn't. That is why they will not fail. Any more questions?"

Seren was glad to see nobody had a thing to say. She did, however, meet the proud gazes of her friends.

~ 0 ~

"Okay, I know that I'm the leader but...how will I ever be like you?" Risha was finally letting all of the nerves she held in during the questioning go. Seren could only laugh at her. "I'm serious! The Council is scary and you just shut them up!"

"I honestly wasn't intending on things going in that direction," Seren said, raising her hands. "But they asked, and I answered with nothing but the truth."

"And you killed it!" Chloe called. She, Steve and Natasha were coming over to congratulate Seren and the team now that they were mostly freed up from the other guests. "

"No I don't," Seren rolled her eyes then, for her team's benefit — since they were quite new to the business — she added, "There are no dirty secrets."

"I don't know," Alison said with a face to match her doubt. "People like them always have dirty secrets."

"Oh, you're going to be a good one," Natasha pointed. "Keep your eyes open, kid." Alison fervently nodded her head.

"Please don't scare off my team," Seren sighed.

"They won't," Steve assured her and, for good measure, warned Natasha to stay quiet from now on. "You were great, Seren." The ginger beamed with his praise. "They were going hard on you but you knew exactly what you were doing."

"I was nervous up until they started asking me stupid questions," Seren admitted with a light chuckle to follow. "I stopped mostly because I was irritated with them. I guess that was better in the end."

"I'm sure that they'll approve of the team and the Initiative's expand."

"I hope so," Seren looked at the trainees with a soft smile. "I think they've earned it."

"What exactly happens if they do?" Joshua curiously asked her. They had briefly touched on the next steps if they were to gain the Council's approval but now that it was so close, he wanted to know exactly what would be changing. "Do we...do we actually take assignments now? Official ones?"

"Well, for starters, I wouldn't be coming anymore," Seren chuckled at his horrified expression. "Risha would be leading you guys."

"Why are you making that face?" Risha frowned at the man who had yet to clear said face up. "Are you trying to say that I'm not a good leader?"

"I just...it would be very different going from Seren's leadership to yours," Joshua said quickly when he felt his life was on the line.

"Mhm," Risha rolled her eyes.

Seren gestured for the two to calm down. "Anyways, if we do get the approval you would be officially based in London and should anything...special happen...you would be the first ones called."

"You mean like anything alien-wise?" Alison raised an eyebrow.

"Not all the time. Any mission that's important, you'd be on the first jet there."

"What if...what if we don't get the approval?" Blake seemed afraid to pose the question but Seren wasn't at all upset by it. It was a fair thing to think about.

"Then you would go back to your current positions," she answered quietly. The answer wasn't very well received.

"Noo, I don't like it," Risha shook her head. "Not after everything we've done these 2 years."

"You shouldn't focus on that," Seren said quickly. "Your training, whether or not we get the approval, will be enough to get you through the levels and ranks. Plus, you've made friends with each other. You'll be good with either possibility. But you know what? You've all done such an incredible job — go out. Please, just go out and have some fun."

"How about you come with us?" Alison beamed.

"No, I'm...I'm tired," Seren chuckled at her admission. "I think I need a nice calm night for me. I foresee some nice cinnamon rolls in my future." She didn't necessarily look over to see what Steve had to say about it but he was all smiles about it.

Chloe and Natasha may have seen it, though.

There was at least another 15 minutes of saying goodbyes and promises to let them know what the Council decided on. Seren even had a moment with Fury and Rebeca to talk about the chances of getting that approval. It was where she delayed her departure.

"I did what I could," she said to the pair. "But maybe I overdid it with my attitude towards the end."

"No, you did exactly what you should've," Rebeca wagged a finger at the woman. "You need to show that you are strong and you're not the type to back down, not even for the Council. Isn't that right, Fury?"

The man himself shook his head. "No, some of them appreciate that."

"But others don't," Seren picked up on the unsaid words.

"Agent Soul, you have done your job," Fury said. "Do not forget that. I have confidence that they will give you the approval you need. And after that, my guess is that you'll be packing for France." Seren's face slowly fell with the reminder, even more so with Fury's certainty. "They've been keeping an extremely close eye on the matter."

"So...so if that were to happen...how long would I be in France?" Seren couldn't help her fingers from fiddling together. She was back to being nervous.

"I would think the same amount you spent in London, of course," Rebeca answered cheerily, none the wiser of Seren's grim thoughts. "I think you established the period of 2 years being roughly the amount you need to develop a team. But imagine it, Seren, if this happens then France is just going to be the next stop of many."

"Many…" Seren repeated, eyes drifting to the side. "Yeah…"

"What's the matter, Agent Soul?" asked Fury. "It would be the opportunity of a lifetime for you to oversee the Worldwide Initiative."

"It's just…" Seren didn't know how to put her thoughts into coherent words. How would she speak of her concerns of her life and not make it sound selfish? Yes, it would be a good opportunity for her but at the same time she had to consider what she would be giving up this time. If she was always traveling then it meant less time to see her family, her friends...and anything else she might have been considering.

"Seren?" Rebeca reached to touch Seren's arm, startling the woman out of her thoughts. "Are you alright?"

Seren pulled her arm from Rebeca's hand and put on her best smile. "Of course, yeah. Um, you'll let me know what happens, right?"

"Of course," Rebeca nodded. "Are you sure you're—"

Seren bid her and Fury a goodnight and headed off. She had a lot to think about and with so little time too. She was almost to the entrance doors for some well needed air when she heard her name called. As soon as she heard him, her nerves found the will to ease up.

"We lost you there for a bit," Steve was smiling as usual, something Seren felt like she really needed at the moment. Nastasha and Chloe were following behind. "We saw you talking to Fury and Rebeca. Is everything—"

"I don't know," Seren cut him off without intending to. She swallowed hard. "I-I really don't know what I'm doing or what I'm going to do—"

"Woah, hey!" Steve held her by the arms. "What's happened? I thought you were good?"

"I am but at the same time I'm no-ot." The fact her voice cracked in the end was a red alarm.

"Seren, ease up," Steve started rubbing his hands down her arms. "Whatever is going on, we can help. Natasha, Chloe and I — we're here for whatever you need."

"Yeah, what do you need from us?" Chloe soon asked.

"I just want to go," Seren bit on her bottom lip. "I've had my fill for tonight."

"Not home, is it?" Natasha's question was odd and certainly earned her some looks. "You know there's going to be people there waiting for you to ask questions." Seren felt 10 times more tired than a minute ago.

"Why don't you come with us instead?" suggested Chloe who then looked to Steve for his reaction. "She can stay with us for a bit, right?"

"Of course," he nodded. His hands dropped from Seren's arms to her hands. As he wrapped them around hers, Seren fought the urge to just take him in an entire hug. "You want to come home with us?"

"If...if it's not too much of a bother." No sooner had Seren said those words than Chloe snorted in the background. Natasha promptly jabbed her elbow in her ribs.

"I heard cinnamon rolls were going to be served," Natasha then said. "How about Chloe and I get them and meet you at your place?"

"Sounds good," Steve said, thanking them for the initiative. "Seren?"

"Thanks," she whispered.

"Here," Chloe said suddenly and pulled out a nice small box from her purse. Seren took it, although puzzled with its contents. "It's chocolates," Chloe explained. "Somebody left them for me at my table. A little sweetness might do you some good."

Seren smiled lightly. "Leave it to you to have secret admirers at my dinner."

"Hey, there were a lot of cute guys in the room," Chloe flipped her hair behind her shoulders. "I can't help what I can't control."

Seren chuckled. "Thanks, Chloe." She held the box close to her chest then glanced at Steve. Without saying anything, he knew she wanted to leave now.

So, they left together.

Natasha waited until the pair were gone to ask Chloe what she already presumed was going to happen. "We're not actually going to meet up with them later, right?"

"Noo," Chloe said with a smirk on her face. "But Seren's suite is going to be empty, so…" She held up Seren's hotel room card.

Natasha laughed. "Sometimes, you're good, Winters. I got the wine."

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inkofamethyst · 8 months ago

Text

March 21, 2024

WE DID IT LADS. I've been putting off a conversation with my advisor about going for a minor in data science/computer science because.. well I mean I guess I was afraid he would hesitate or say no or ask me to think about it more even though I had already thought about it for nine months. Anyway my PI is fully an enabler (and I knew this) and he was like "ya I don't know much about it but as long as you pass your quals, go for it" so uh. Yeah. I had prepared ten minutes' worth of reasons why going for this would be advantageous to me and I couldn't even get to share all of them lol.

I had also thought about asking about doing an internship one summer, but I think one "hard" conversation was enough bravery for one day :)

I think the ultimate goal for the Choose-Your-Own-Adventure project is going to be an original DnD-style adventure (apparently in replit you can combine different coding languages into one product, so I could even make a website-esque interface for interaction), but I don't want to spend tons of time writing narrative when I could beef up or streamline the mechanics instead in a story that already has a familiar narrative. So, I will work on the Hunger Games version, likely submit it, and maybe this summer reskin it into something original. I think I'm going to try to have a "secret" rebellion ending.. we'll see, we'll see...

I need to start doing cardio and weights. Especially since I'm going to have to lug around an amp in just over a year.

Next year, my involvement is going to be a bit heftier, I think. I'm glad I took the time this year to be more chill, but I want to try so many things. That museum collections volunteer thing, the ballroom dancing club, the jazz club.. I've even considered being an assistant stage manager in the area. And then maybe in a couple years' time, I could join a band, audition for a play in the community. I do want to be wary of running myself ragged, so that will mean regular self-check-ins. And I definitely won't pile on everything at once.

found out today that wilbur is apparently not a great guy in the slightest. it really makes some of those 2020 entries feel even cringier than they already were. UGH. :(

Also,,, slightly less negative but that macaroni and cheese was nasty. Ugh and I was looking forward to it for weeks. Kind of reminds me of that time I made the "gigi hadid pasta" that was floating around all over pinterest and it was flavorless.

Today I'm thankful that my taxes ended up being WAYYY less than what I'd budgeted for last year. I'm only paying the government like 40% of what I'd saved up to give them. (Found out that this is in part because academic stipends aren't taxed on social security which is fine by me because even though ss payouts are kinda based on how much you paid in, I was never planning to receive ss and also I was hoping to invest enough that I wouldn't need it.) Anyway, knowing this, I feel even more comfortable with the idea of living single hehe.

Though~~ I have to say that knowing what my taxes are going toward these days does make me feel a little sick to my stomach sometimes. I mean of course I'm going to contribute to my savings goals (as a matter of fact, if I dumped my whole "return" into my savings goals, I would complete all of my current goals and have a bit left over which is WILD to me (but I'm not going to do that, I don't think, as I could put some of the cash toward trips home and such, or make others a touch more elaborate (thinking of upping my bass fund))) and to my beloved house <3, but I also think I want to be charitable and give to causes that are important to me.

My last "spiritual experience" song was The City Must Survive. As of this week, it is Full Moon by Avi Kaplan. I want to wring every last neurotransmitter from that song.

[edit, way past my bed time: this was a really great day, actually.]

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reidecorating · 4 years ago

Text

Like Ivy

Request: “Being able to see you smile, being in your vicinity, just that is enough for me.” and “Uh, here, this is for, uh, you.” I’m thinking something Christmas-y with Reid - Anon

A/N: I do apologise for procrastinating on getting this out, but I wanted to make sure it wasn’t terrible. Merry Christmas to all of you who celebrate it, my present to you is the longest fic I have ever written. I had so much fun writing it so I hope you guys enjoy reading it! Happy holidays <3

Pairing: Spencer Reid x BAUFem!Reader

Word Count: 7.7k

Summary: Best friends yearning & best friends pining - but make it festive. Entails Secret Santa, the classic penny behind the ear and waltzing.

Warnings: Fluff, proceed with caution :)

The Cathedral of Santa Maria. Spencer had finally put his finger on it. The small glass dome encasing a building, with doors small enough to allow entrance to ladybugs who may practice religion, adorned unmistakable timely Italian architecture and ornamented pine trees, all dusted with flitters of snow. For the past week, Spencer had caught sight of the trinket each time he wandered past where it sat, as one of the few other decorations surrounding the name plate displaying in gold Times New Roman ‘DAVID ROSSI’, on the often unoccupied desk. So, he gathered that it must be important. Filing away his final stack of paperwork for the night, a silver paperclip glistening in the artificial light, Spencer made a mental note to ask the man about it the next morning. Standing from his usual office chair slouch, he stretched his limbs, feeling a series of clicks in his back as he regained his posture, only to bend back down in reach of his satchel. He made his way home giving tight lipped smiles of encouragement to the few agents sprinkled about the room, working over time. Haphazardly, he pushed the arrow pointing downwards with a cardigan clad elbow. As if on queue, his phone buzzed to the simultaneous ‘ding’ of the lift.

I understand you’re nocturnal, but I hope you’ve gotten home by now! If not, text me when you do so, safely :)

He didn’t realise he was grinning from ear to ear until an aggravated looking bureau member from a floor above, evidently itching to get home, cleared his throat to gain Spencer’s attention. “Sorry,” he grimaced. Noticing the button for the ground floor having already been lit up, Spencer stepped inside and stood as far away, as was possible in the small space, from the rankled looking man and his briefcase. A dimple appeared on his cheek as he remembered you, two years, three months and seventeen days ago - not that he was counting - offering him cherry scented hand sanitiser from a small bottle, and, only after he’d nodded, gently grasping the tips of his fingers to steady his shaking hand as you poured the gelid liquid into his palm. The act was so pure he chose against telling you that while alcohol based hand sanitisers reduce the number of microbes on hands in some situations, they don’t eliminate all types of germs - making soap and water the most effective way to go. Since then, you occupied his thoughts in the same way ivy grew along bricks of long forgotten towers. In abundance, in the most beautiful way. He turned his attention back to the tiny mobile he was holding.

On my way right now. I have a date with microwaved leftovers at midnight, can’t miss it. Will do.

The next time his phone buzzed was when he’d dozed off on the way home, using the concave pane of a metro window as a shoulder to lean against. He waited until his feet landed on the uneven pavement of his stop to open it.

Tomorrow you have a date with a properly cooked meal, at mine. What is it that Hotch always says? That’s an order, not a request.

Spencer’s heartbeat quickened as he read what you had written, his brain immediately carrying variables in an effort to slow it down by convincing himself that friends make each other feel this way. However, when he counted the rose flush on his cheeks and nose whenever you were around, the looks you shared which said more than words ever could and the way you held each other nearer than the distance between the sky and the ocean where they met at the horizon after close calls and mentally grappling cases, it didn’t quite equate to being just friends. Dwindling leaves clinging to their branches shuddered as scissors of winter wind pruned the trees scattered about. Spencer’s pale hands slid into his coat pockets, hiding from frostbite. On the short walk to his apartment, he admired the twinkling lights on either side of the streets, feeling as if he were a plane which had just landed upon a runway in the night. Candy canes, reindeer and eccentric portrayals of Santa Claus glowed amongst bushes and on porches, making Spencer wish you were there to see them too. It wasn’t rare he found himself wanting to share everything he did with you. Pretty things made him think of you. Eventually reaching the familiar building, tiredly, he followed wreaths and holly all the way to his undecorated apartment door.

You? Cooking? I’ll bring a fire extinguisher. Home safe. Goodnight, sleep well.

He kept his promise, despite seeing the time was nearing to one in the morning and being doubtful you were still awake.

Hilarious :/ and I will, knowing you’re alive. Goodnight Spencer :)

Spencer coveted for nights when he could tell you goodnight from right beside you, perhaps with his hand draped around your waist while yours tugged at his hair. He wanted to fall asleep to the scent of your skin and whatever soap you’d picked up from the store that week, not the quiet hum of his vintage fan. His microwave beeped, acting as an alarm to return down to earth from the clouds, presenting him with far less than gourmet potatoes. Realising he would take your burnt cooking over this any day, he settled for a sandwich.

∗∗∗

“Did you know that snowglobes were invented in France. They were first introduced as ‘water globes’ at the Paris Expedition Fair in 1889, and, to no surprise, the first snow globe actually contained a tiny scaled Eiffel Tower covered in snow,” Spencer lectured, almost putting the two agents who had struggled enough to get out of bed, back to sleep. The days were slow. Annual leave for a majority of the bureau was looming nearer and files kept them busy as the jet gathered dust. “Glad to hear the French contributed something, other than their opprobrium of a language, to this world,” Emily complained, from her desk. “Well, baguettes… Croissants, parachutes… Aspirin-“ Spencer was halted by the unimpressed look on Rossi’s face, as he hovered on the edge of Spencer’s table, a bushy eyebrow raised in vexation. “What’s with all this talk of snowglobes, kid?” The older man squinted at Spencer, craning his neck towards this, the way he did to suspects behind the glass of an interrogation room. “Since you brought it up,” he smiled smugly, swivelling in his chair from one side to another. “What’s the story behind the Santa Maria sitting on your desk?”

“Yeah, the eighties have come and gone, Rossi, isn’t it a bit late for repentance?” Emily let out a sly smile, walking over to also lean against Spencer’s desk with a steaming mug in hand. “It was a gift from my grandmother, handmade, I take it out every Christmas to help get in the festive mood,” Rossi explained. “Also, that was very funny Emily but now… I can’t help but recall what Garcia told me about the time you got a little tipsy and licked peanut butter off J-”

“No one told me it was National Congregate Around Spencer Reid’s Desk Day today.” The three agents turned their heads in unison to find who the voice belonged to, Spencer’s breath hitching at the sight of you. You stood before them, an upturned magician’s hat in hand, semi-curious as to what the ending of Rossi’s sentence would have been if it weren’t for you interrupting. “Y/N!” Emily waved, flashing a smile. “You’ve taken an interest in magic and didn’t even think to tell me,” Spencer feigned a hurt look. “Spencer, I knew magic wasn’t for me after I did the card trick you taught me, wrong . Six times,”

“It was seven. Plus, the student is never as good as the teacher,” he suppressed a smile. “Or maybe the teacher just isn’t good,” you raised an eyebrow at him. “That’s a little hostile, someone didn’t get enough sleep last night,” Spencer defended himself, putting his hands in the air. His eyes held a glimmer of mischief as if to say ‘we know something that you don’t’ when they met yours. Emily’s jaw dropped. “That… Didn’t sound suggestive at all,” Rossi pursed his lips in concern, looking back and forth between the pair of furiously blushing agents. “Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t,” you winked at Rossi. Basking in the radiance of your laughter washing over him like the sun, Spencer chuckled along. “Anyway, what’s with the hat?” Emily questioned. “This,” you shook it by its brim, “contains the remaining names for this year’s Secret Santa, courtesy of Miss Penelope Garcia. I was just ordered to present it to you all. She calls it being her ‘little elf’ - I call it unpaid manual labour - but pick a name, any name,” you encouraged. You watched as Spencer’s tongue comically poked out as he eagerly concentrated on picking a name, elbow bent at a worrying angle. “I just want to say that every time I get a gift that isn’t alcohol, I’m slightly disappointed,” Emily turned to you as it was her turn to fish for a piece of paper. “I’ll keep that in mind,” you grinned at her. You watched Rossi’s expression as his eyes skimmed the name in his hands. “Oh, and Rossi, yes, there’s a budget,” you called over your shoulder, causing them to laugh as you gave them a wave. Slinking away from the comity of the bullpen, back to Mrs Claus’ lair, you retrieved the only remaining name. You paused in the hallway to double check if you’d read the glittery scrawl correctly. Spencer Reid. It was just your luck. You were prepared to engage in hand to hand combat with Garcia, seeing her office looming ahead. “Penelope. I hate you. I love you,” you kissed her cheek, placing the top hat on her curls, “but I hate you.” She recognised the tone, beaming at the implications. “Thank me later, beautiful!” She called after you as you rushed away to get started on completing the mountains of reports you had been avoiding thus far.

The day had come to a close, a headache making a home for itself in your head. Scanning the, now, mostly empty room, you caught sight of the back of Spencer’s uncombed head. Double checking that not enough people were around to be reprimanded by HR for misconduct, you inconspicuously made your way over to him snaking your arms around his neck and burrowing your nose in its crook. “Hi,” he chuckled, amused at the sudden affection, his unoccupied hand immediately reaching to grasp one of your wrists. Spencer had followed your strict, but coffee induced, orders earlier that morning telling him not to distract you unless, one, he was dying, or two, something was on fire, because you were determined to finish the numerous write-ups you had left until today. “Hi,” you mumbled into him. “Ready to go home?” You asked sweetly, arms still slung around him, pulling your face away to get a glimpse of his soft features. Your heart stopped for a little while, at the beauty of him. He was breathtaking. You refrained from tracing the small bump of his nose with your own, and settled for admiring the five o’clock shadow presaging a hidden jaw. The part of Spencer that craved domesticity was enchanted by your simple question, the word home resounding in his head, acting as an old film reel for projections of images of the two of you together; leaving work together, going home together. Little did he know that, as if through an unnoticed telepathy, just a few inches away, the same images occupied your own head. Coming home to an empty apartment had become tedious. You allowed yourself to give into your daydreams of returning home to Spencer - with Spencer. Spencer, with his warm eyes and words that drip like syrup from his tongue. You wanted nothing more than to revel in him filling your senses once the cologne from the day had been washed away, and hear him harp on about the history of mattresses, attempting to retain questions to ask him later in your memory bank, as you capitulate to sleep. “As a matter of fact, I finished most of what I had to do last night so I am ready to go… home,” he tested out the word, to which you had assigned a brand new connotation, feeling a flutter in his chest. You quickly rescinded your arms as you peripherally detected a flock of agents returning from what you assumed was an afternoon break. Spencer suddenly missed your body on his. Having already packed your things, feeling accomplished noticing that the pile of folders on your desk had shrunk significantly, you packed Spencer’s things to save him time, aimlessly throwing the strap of his satchel over his head for him once he had ungracefully shoved his arms into a blazer. “Hang on,” you gently pulled at his shoulders to meet your height, carefully fixing his tag and creased collar. The blush on his face, at the feel of your cold fingers brushing the nape of his neck, said everything he didn’t - save a meek, “Thank you.” You smiled at him in return. “Wait,” his eyes widened, “I need this,” he mumbled, reaching into the bottom drawer of his desk, pulling out a large black bag, decorated in gold intricacies. He didn’t explain it, but you knew that if Spencer had something to say, he would come out and say it, just all in good time. “Now are you ready?” You eyed the thing curiously, and glanced back at him. “Let’s go,” he motioned his arms in front of him, with a small nod, letting you lead the way.

Afternoon rays of sun fought their way through clouds, battling with the winter air to warm the people mingling outside as you made your way towards the crowded station. “Penny for your thoughts?” You asked, intuitively slipping an arm through his when the sun began to disappear altogether. Your cheeks grew warm as you realised your compromising position, feeling your heart rate return to its usual pace once he relaxed into your touch. “Hm?” He turned to look at you, letting his river coloured eyes unabashedly scan your face. “You look like your mind is far away,”

“What’s on my mind is definitely not very far away,” he said, quietly. That glimmer had returned. You noticed that the crease between his brows had disappeared, indicative that whatever thoughts were rattling through his brain, were good ones. You hummed a smile, content with his contentedness. “So… Hand it over,” he extended a palm a second later. “Hand what over?” You asked, genuinely confused. “A penny,” he said as if it was obvious. You blinked up at him, unfazed by the joke, as he bit his lip provokingly. All of a sudden he stopped walking, eyes still on you. “Just… Hold on a moment,” he whispered, squinting at you as he reached a hand towards your cheek. You remained still, thinking that Spencer had finally lost his mind. “Here it is!” He exclaimed, breaking out into a smile as he retrieved a one cent coin from behind your ear. “What!? You’re kidding! That was brilliant,” you beamed at him, eyes wide in bewilderment. “For a second there I thought you had gone crazy,” you teased. “Magic does that to people,” he nodded, satisfied with how impressed you seemed. “Ah, but alas, you gave me a very ambiguous answer, so I,” you snatched the penny from his fingers, “am entitled to a refund.” Spencer shook his head with a soft smile. “You might need to use that for the bus if we miss the next train,” he informed, hurriedly examining the watch on his upturned wrist.

No trains were missed, that day, the two of you arriving at your door in time for the six o’clock news. “Here, let me take your coat,” you offered, putting it on the small rack beside the door, placing yours adjacent to it. Spencer relished in the warmth of the place, setting his things down. “So, I’m thinking we get a proper meal in us, and then you can help me decorate this dreary place,” you instructed. He wanted to let you know that anywhere you are is far from being dreary, but something told him that was far too sappy, so he settled for a simple, “Sounds good.” He took in the familiar apartment, its walls embellished in old paintings snagged from secondhand stores and books scattered about on almost every horizontal surface, in a certain disorderliness that said, yes it’s messy, but everything has its place. “Also, I hope you know that you’re only leaving in the morning so make yourself at home.” It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence for the two of you; you falling asleep at his apartment out of feebleness, him at yours, and more often than not, it involved discarded games of Scrabble as the two of you settled for debating the rules instead of actually playing. Lately, he’d been craving it more and more - and so had you. Spencer would never say no to that offer, but he was taken aback. “But I didn’t pack- I don’t have-“

“Eidetic memory is slipping I see,” you giggled at his flustered state. “I told you, I kept finding toothbrushes, sweaters and socks here every time you left, so I made a drawer full of your things, since you practically live here anyway,”

“An entire drawer? I didn’t think I was missing a whole lot,” he responded, nose tinted red. “I have to water my plants quickly, before I put dinner on, but feel free to shower,” you said, still laughing quietly. “Let me help cook, first. You need someone to disassemble the smoke alarm,” he raised an eyebrow at you. One ‘KISS THE COOK’ apron and half an hour of seasoning a chicken, spilling sweet potatoes and bumping elbows later, the two of you stood back from the counter, you boasting to Spencer about how nothing had turned to ashes, and him pointing out that the oven hadn’t been turned on yet. Soon after, you put the oven on high, humming an indistinguishable carol over the shower that could be heard running from the next room. A warm, tingling feeling overcame you.

By the time you had showered, Spencer stood serving - a well timed and flawlessly cooked - chicken, wearing mitts matching the baggy flannel pyjamas keeping him warm on top of the open oven. “Smells good,” you complimented, slightly startling Spencer. He stood at the small wooden dining table, mouth agape at the sight of you. He was sure his heart was a puddle. “I like your sweater,” he praised. You glanced down slightly confused, shortly realising that your sweater, with its much too floppy sleeves, reaching a little way above your knees, was actually his. “Oh, I’ll wash it and give it back to you at some point,” you said shyly. “I was wondering where it went, but don’t worry about it, the colour looks nicer on you than it does on me,”

“Nonsense, you know that’s not true.” Soon enough, you found yourselves digging in - not before you expressed your gratitude towards food that wasn’t charred for the first time in months. You sat across from each other, your reindeer sock clad feet occasionally tapping his beneath the table. Spencer’s heart was full, marvelling at you from where he sat, wishing this could be something he could experience forever, much preferring it over a stale sandwich. You watched him intently through your eyelashes, chin resting on your interlaced hands while he taught you about how the thalidomide scandal emerging from Germany led to safer drugs in the pharmaceutical industry, the lecture prompted by an article he’d read recently. It continued into getting the dishes cleaned up, his rambling only being interrupted by your intermittent questions which incited further tangents, or requests to pass the tea towel. His voice was a ruffled silken sheet, on which you would like to lay for eternity. Admittedly, you found it difficult to focus on retaining any more information than the odd date, due to being too focused on the way his lips moved to form every word he said, hopelessly enamoured by the overly enthusiastic expressions he made to match the tone of what he was saying. Eventually, he wandered towards the living room as you stacked away the final plate, butterflies still spurring in your stomach from when his fingers brushed yours as he handed it to you.

“Spencer Reid effortlessly navigating technology, Christmas miracles really do exist, huh?”

“Actually, I just remembered watching you choose music, instead of paying attention to the road, that one time you drove me to work,”

“I was most definitely paying attention,” you huffed out a laugh, slightly bashful at the thought of him remembering small things you do. “You hit the kerb four times! That was the day I vowed to never let you transport me anywhere,”

“I see your argument, and I raise you with the counter argument: the kerb hit me.” Sitting with his back against the couch, legs sprawled out over the rug beneath your coffee table, Spencer couldn’t hold back his laughter. After watching you disappear into the kitchen, he busied himself with reading the holiday edition of Reader’s Digest laying on the table. He recounted you telling him that you had accidentally drunkenly subscribed to it, and never bothered to cancel the subscription, the first time you’d caught him reading an issue. You emerged a short while later, with drinks in both hands. “Bonjour monsieur, on tonight’s menu, we can either open this Merlot or, drink Capri-suns like the sophisticated adults we are. Your pick,” you said, hiding the juice pouches behind your back and noticeably waving the bottle of wine in front of you. “I have a feeling it isn’t my pick,” he let out a laugh, “so just fill a glass with enough Merlot for two,” you were on your way to get a glass before he had the chance to finish. “Your wish is my command!” You called. Spencer put down his magazine once he saw you rushing towards him with a large glass of wine in hand. “Of course you opt for Christmas Jazz over Mariah Carey,” you teased, hearing the music he’d queued floating from the withering speaker in the corner of the living room. It was the kind of music that would play in the diner of an expensive hotel, you noted. “I can change it if you’d like?” He began reaching for your phone, when you halted him by grasping his arm. “No, it’s good, I like your taste.” Spencer grinned sheepishly, taking the glass from your hand as you sat down beside him.

Hours of conversation and decking the halls with tinsel later, with wine flushed cheeks and twinkling eyes you moved the furniture to cater for your very own dance floor. Carefully, Spencer placed a hand below your ribs, touching you like new glassware, lacing the other with yours. Your unfettered hand, replaced the weight of the world as it rested on his shoulder. You recognised the look on his face as he settled into the close proximity, it was the same look that painted yours when you admired him whilst he failed to notice. The soft glow of a lamp illuminated the man you held, making an indistinct halo of golden light appear above his unkempt hair. “I apologise for any damage caused to your feet,” you giggled, struggling to find a rhythm. “Here, follow my lead,” he looked down at your feet. “The Waltz?” Dazzled, you raised an eyebrow, a few seconds after recognising the box-like steps in unison. Spencer tried to focus on anything but your lips, glistening in the dull light, so close to his. “Mhm, I’m not exactly the most co-ordinated-”

“You don’t say?”

“That’s tough talk for someone I’ve seen fall up a flight of stairs,”

“That sounds made up, but as you were saying,” you laughed into his chest. “It’s simple because its a repeating pattern. Did you know that name of the dance comes from the German word waltzen, which means to turn, or to glide? Some say the dance itself comes from the folk music and dances of west Austria, but others debate that it’s a variation of the Volta, from the 16th century,”

“Interesting, makes sense to debate that though. I’m pretty sure volta means ‘a turning’ in Italian - although that’s mostly in reference to the turn of a new thought or idea in sonnets… I’m thinking of Shakespeare,” you chimed in. “Sonnet one-hundred and thirty being a classic example of that,”

“Of course you would know that,” you shook your head in awe, cheeks hurting from grinning too wide. The incandescence of the smile that hadn’t left his face all day was mesmerising, the honeyed expression tied together with the dimples on his cheeks and creases around his eyes. “What would you like for Christmas?” He mumbled, lifting a moment of peaceful silence. “If you pulled my name out of the hat today you’re going to have to be a lot more subtle than that,”

“Unfortunately not,” he pouted. “Don’t tell anyone I told you, but I have Rossi,” he whispered the words into your ear, neglecting that no one else was around to hear. “What do you get a man who already has everything money can buy?”

“A new wife,” you joked, causing him to scoff. He studied your visage as you pondered his earlier question, still swaying to the soft piano sounds. “Honestly Spencer, being able to see you smile, being in your vicinity, just that is enough for me,” you finally answered, tilting your head up at him. Spencer thought his knees would give way. He thought his knees would give way, and he would hit the ground with enough impact to implode through the earth’s crust. In reality, he only stumbled over his feet momentarily, regaining his composure before you noticed him slowly becoming unhinged. “If that’s the case, I wish I’d picked your name,” he managed to utter, breathlessly.

The music which continued to play was drowned out by the sound of steady breathing, you were too caught up in each other to pay attention to the world. Wordless, you looked into his eyes, his actions parallel to yours. “You look beautiful right now,” he sighed. “Of course, you always look beautiful but, you know.” You shook your head, refraining from averting your eyes from his. He wished you believed it, promising himself to never abstain from letting you know until you saw yourself the way he did. “It’s funny you say that, because I was thinking the same thing. About you of course,” you rushed out the last part, realising the potential for miscommunication. “I love seeing you happy,”

“Well, as long as you stick around, you’ll be seeing a lot of that,” he spoke lowly, on the verge of telling you about all the things he felt for you. You hadn’t realised, but you had unconsciously moved closer together. You could feel his warm breath on your skin, lighting a fire inside your lungs, as he took yours away. Spencer saw all of the signs; the signs that this was not usual for a friendship. Maybe, if it weren’t for his defeated battle with fear, and doubt, he would have told you by now that he had fallen desperately for you. Spencer knew there wasn’t a drop of insincerity behind any of the kind words you spoke into him, he understood that you were his person, but he found it difficult enough to comprehend that someone could feel this strongly for someone. So, the implausible idea that someone could feel this way about him, was one he was not even prepared to entertain. “Y/N? I, um,” he tried, wearily. You gave him a soft smile, both tired arms laced behind his neck now as his rested on your waist. He dropped his sword. Once again losing the fight against his unreasonable insecurities, changing his mind at the last second. “I need to give you something,” his demeanour changed and he vanished from your line of vision. Your heart sank, hopes of hearing him say that the love you had for him was requited, fallen. Before you got too lost in your head, he emerged from the doorway with the same black bag you’d been inquisitive of. “Uh, here, this is for, uh, you,” he tucked his lip beneath his teeth. “Spencer…” you trailed off as he handed it to you. You sat yourself on the carpet, patting the spot next to you for him to join. “I thought I should give it to you now, since I’ll be in Vegas for Christmas,”

“Spencer, you really didn’t have to-“

“Go on, open it,” he ignored your humility. You gave him a look as you opened it - it being replaced with a look of elation as you realised what it was. In your hands, you held a scarf, long enough to hit the floor, striped in all your favourite tones. “I had to ask my mom for help with the tassels, but-“

“You took the time to make this? For me?” You exclaimed. Without thought, you draped it around his neck to tug him closer to you, throwing your arms around him in a tight hug. “This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me, thank you so much,” you lauded, refusing to let go of him. “I think it was last winter, we were walking back to our hotel in Minnesota during a case, and you insisted that the both of us use my scarf to keep us warm, because you didn’t have one,”

“Ah, I remember that, except it ended up being one of the top ten worst disasters in U.S. history due to the height difference, and we both ended up falling face-first into the snow,” you giggled, recalling the way you had used up most of the hotel’s hot water afterwards. “Exactly,” he matched your expression, “seeing as you still haven’t bought one for yourself, even though we lose eighty percent of our body heat through our head and neck, I thought I would take matters into my own hands,”

“Well, I love it. You’ll have to tell your mother I said thank you and that I’m sending my love,” you finally dropped your arms from around him, out of fear of crushing his shoulders.

Once the zeroes had lined up on the twenty-four clock, Spencer sat where he usually resided on your bed, ardently admiring you as you folded away his gift. “Wait! Spencer close your eyes! Please!” You squeaked, immediately shutting the cupboard doors, realising your unwrapped present for him was hidden within. “Y/N? Is everything alright?” He asked, eyes now sealed shut. “I didn’t want you to see what I’d bought for Secret Santa,” you let out, too exhausted to form a coherent excuse. “We only got those names today - well, yesterday, now - so how did you manage to-”

“Shoot,” you cursed to yourself, knowing his unintentional profiling would lead him to the conclusion sooner or later. Spencer’s eyes slowly opened. “Okay, let’s say if, hypothetically, I had intended on giving you something for Christmas anyway, but then drawn your name today, would you, hypothetically, be able to act surprised when you receive it from me at work?”

“Hypothetically speaking, I would?” He squinted at you, stifling laughter. Your hair was slightly messy and your drowsy eyes were visible to Spencer even without his contacts in. He thought you just looked so adorable, wanting nothing more than to hold you and share your warmth. “Anyway, come to bed,” he beckoned, his voice gravelly, giving way for the day. Obliging, you shuffled towards your bed before sliding your cold feet beneath the covers. Spencer turned to face you, resting his cheek on an upturned palm. “Sorry for ruining the surprise,” you whispered, tucking the duvet under your chin, bright eyes looking through him. “You didn’t ruin anything,” he assured, treasuring the sight before him. There had been a shift in the air between the two of you. Spencer held the wine accountable, but he could sense that you felt it too, a level of intimacy that you had not quite reached during previous nights like this. “Come closer, I need to exploit your body heat while I can.” Spencer listened to your instruction, inching nearer to you, his heart rate so high he was sure you could feel it when you nuzzled your head into his chest. “Goodnight,” you felt his chest rumble. “Hang on, the night isn’t over yet,” you mumbled, “talk to me,”

“About?” He asked, amused by your grit to avoid sleep. “Anything you want,” you yawned. “You’re sleepy,” he stated, coaxing you into getting some shut eye. When you tilted your head up and continued to blink at him, he gave in. “Have you ever wondered why a lot of our most vulnerable conversations happen at night?” You nodded in response. “Well, a study done by the University of Colorado a couple of years ago concluded that natural light from the sun actually regulates your circadian rhythm, or internal biological clock, which standardises your sleep cycle. According to their study, this sleep cycle coincides with sunrise and sunset, meaning that if you regularly expose yourself to sunlight, your body enhances its internal clock to align more closely with the natural light cycle,”

“Based on that,” you contended, words slightly jumbled, “our circadian rhythm would vary between seasons, right? And yours would be different, since you’re a literal vampire, to say... someone who surfs down in Florida because of disparity in sun exposure?”

“Precisely,” he raised his eyebrows, “I’m impressed you’re still paying attention, you look like you’re already dreaming.” Spencer nudged your forehead gently with his own, causing you to breath out a laugh. “Alright, so how does all of that relate to being more vulnerable at night?”

“It relates in the sense that the rise and fall of the sun reflects in our physiological, as well as emotional behaviour. During the day, we’re a lot more active, and at night, we become more relaxed and receptive. Hence, since your mind is at ease, all the thoughts and emotions that might have felt jumbled up during the day become clear, making them a whole lot easier to express,”

“Mhm,” you managed, eyelids growing heavy. “Do you… have anything to say now,” you whispered drowsily, eyes now closed, “that you can’t say during the day?” Spencer couldn’t handle it anymore. He was already so fond of you but as his hand settled to rest around your waist, feeling your warmness, he believed his ribs could collapse from the way he felt inside. As you dozed off, gradually, winter became less cold in his arms and dreamscapes of his tea leaf eyes. “And, she’s asleep,” he whispered, minutes after silence, into your hair, “but to answer your question, yes,” his lips planted a chaste kiss on your forehead, “I love you.” Of course, unbeknownst to him, you weren’t asleep just yet.

∗∗∗

A couple of days went by, and as more time went on, the less certain you became as to whether Spencer had really even said the words, wondering if the whole thing was just a fatigue driven hallucination your lovesick mind had conjured up. Waking up beside him the next morning however, tangled in a warm cocoon of cotton and limbs, had left you feeling giddy, smiling like a fool with heart shaped eyes as he attempted to feed you the waffles he’d made - which the two of you gulped down far too quickly than sanctioned, to avoid being late for work. When you didn’t succeed, and the clock had beaten you by ten minutes, you both wrestled past evocative looks from the rest of the team for the remainder of the day, JJ even singing something about the two of you ‘sitting in a tree’ . The soft, shared, smiles and light brushes of fingertips when he handed you coffee in the mornings left you wanting to concede; let him know that you would walk on burning coal for him, the more logical side of you reminding you that professing your devotion to him over an open case file consisting of a double homicide, three days before Christmas, was far from ideal. Spencer wanted the kind of love only the poets could express. This had become evident the evening you took him to a midnight screening of ‘Un homme et Une Femme’. You recalled leaning into him to translate, catching sight of his welling eyes glimmer in the dim lit theatre. Believing his love should be celebrated, you decided to withhold the unsurfaced feelings a little while longer.

Later that week, you all gathered around the BAU tree, a small framed picture of Derek decidedly hanging from one of its upper branches after Garcia had to be heavily persuaded, and eventually bribed, to not place it at the top, arguing “But he’s my star.” Spencer snuck behind you, subtly placing a hand on your back to glide through and place Rossi’s gift under the tree. “I want to let you know that I’ve been practicing my ‘surprised’ face in the mirror,” he discreetly whispered against your neck, making you roll your eyes. “Okay super sleuths, I know we’re all itching to fly away for a break, but hold your reindeer, because we are yet to kick off our annual Secret Santa,” Garcia excitedly exclaimed, shuffling in with two large sparkling bags. “I thought there was a budget?” Rossi quirked. “Yes, sir,” she looked smug, “for you.” The team shared smiles at Rossi’s perplexed look. “So, who wants to start us off?” Garcia chirped. With that, the festivities were under way. You held tight an abnormally large heat sensitive mug, which you were sure would also reveal a promiscuous image once warm - a gift from Emily, who gave herself away by insisting it would help your caffeine dependency - watching as the others tackled ribbon wrapping paper. You threw an impressed look Spencer’s way, that glint of knowing something the universe doesn’t returning to your eyes, when Rossi opened a small portrait of what looked to be a Venetian cathedral, the Santa Maria to be exact. Once the banter and excited chatter had died down, everyone turned to the recipient of the final gift, neatly labelled Spencer Reid, enveloped in brown paper and tied with deep purple ribbon. Penelope looked as if she were about to pass out. Spencer’s shifting eyes landed on JJ as she mouthed a small ‘you’re up’, causing a smile to tug at his lips when he eyed you gazing at him with the soft look he adored. Your eyes lingered on his hands as they swimmingly untied the mauve knot and tore open the paper to reveal a large leather-bound journal. He examined the old looking thing, trailing his fingers along the convoluted golden details of the artistic interpretation of a moon calendar adorning its umber covers, partially covered by thin leather straps. His mouth was slightly agape, shaking a little at how well you knew him, clumsily catching the matching novelty pen before it slipped out of the wrapping and onto the floor. You had picked it up at a forlorn occult shop after it had caught your eye while looking out of place as it lay surrounded by large crystals. Knowing in an almost divine way that it should belong to Spencer, you had bought it. He couldn’t help but look at you briefly, communicating a silent gratitude. “This is amazing,” he ogled, “I love it.” Your heartbeat was in your throat. He was yet to find out you’d filled the first page for him.

Shouts of Merry Christmas, long hugs and season’s greetings were thrown around the room before, one by one, everyone slowly bade their goodbyes. While helping JJ clear away torn reds and greens of gift wrapping, you caught sight of Spencer, ears and cheeks scarlet, with his nose buried in his new, opened, journal.

“We are asleep until we fall in love," you looked up from Leo Tolstoy’s one thousand page book and recited to me, once. Since you walked into my life, I’ve been wide awake. You know that I’m never far away, but this is for the days you need to let out some of what you hold in, without saying it aloud.

I love you too, Spencer.

Spencer read and re-read the words until he was sure he could recite them like the Lord’s Prayer. It was commonly Spencer who remembered small details and remembered paltry quotations, but this time, it was you. Sitting in the glow of the afternoon sun, one October, he had been reading War and Peace, and couldn’t help but share the line with you as you sat across from him, chewing through a much smaller number of pages and reading a collection of poetry. The woman he had been so captivated by, admiring from afar that day - and all others, felt the same way he did. In disbelief, he began breathing manually. Making sure he was deciphering the cursive lettering correctly, he scanned the page again. While his eyes were definitely not deceiving him, they remained glued to one word. Awake. The havoc caused in his heart by the train of thought hitting him so brutally, rivalled only Gare Montparnasse. You must’ve heard his confession nights ago. It was the only explanation for the ‘I love you, too’. You most definitely were awake. Profiling tendencies overcame him. With his basic background of graphology, he could make out that the last line had been written in fresher ink than all the others, confirming his hypothesis. For the first time in a while, his mind was quiet, the uncertainties which fought to float in, unable to make their way through as if the thee simple words you’d handed him were a barrier for them. He needed to talk to you.

Walking quickly towards the elevator, an overwhelming wave of anxiety crashed over you. You had subconsciously been avoiding Spencer for most of the evening, second-guessing whether or not you’d heard him correctly, whether he’d even meant the words in the way you’d interpreted, wondering what you would do if this friendship were to ever end. However, a more hopeful side of you contended to quiet those thoughts. He had to feel it too. There was no room in which you hadn’t shared a longing look. The feather touches, and dancing. So badly did you want to believe that he thought this too. A slender arm appeared through the closing elevator doors, tugging you back to reality, causing you to jump before quickly pushing the open button. “Spencer! You could’ve lost an arm!” You yelped. “It’s okay, I have two of them,” he huffed. He avoided your eyes for a moment, before inhaling half of the oxygen in the small lift and turning towards you. “I wanted to say thank you, for this,” he held up the book, “it’s gorgeous, and sort of… exactly what I needed - and not just the book itself but what you wrote… inside it,” he nervously looked at you. “Did you- do you mean what you wrote?” His tone of voice syringed into you a drop of hurt. “Spencer, I never want you to think that I don’t mean it,” your let out in a shaky voice, gently grasping his elbow. You visibly saw his body ease, a smitten smile replacing the lip being chewed at. His throat bobbed as he gulped before he spoke again, heartbeat in his ears. “I want you to know that I’m in love with you, Y/N. I don’t want you the way I want a best friend, I want you in a-” he sighed, clenching and unclenching his fist trying to find the words, “I want you in a way that means I want to fall asleep beside you, and wake up to you the next morning, for as long as the sun rises. I want you. I want you - no, need you, the way the tide needs the moon to rise and fall, I want you-” he swallowed, furrowing his brows at his feet, “I want you, like this.” Hazel eyes fluttering shut was the last thing you saw. Large hands lightly caressed your face, one travelling behind your ear, brushing your neck to delicately tangle in your hair. After years of wondering, you finally knew what his lips felt like on yours. His nose bumped yours lightly as you tasted his soft lips, their slight chap reminding you that winter had kissed them first. Your hands wrapped around his wrists, before one settled on his tilted jaw and another hid in his chestnut hair. He felt warm, everywhere you touched setting electricity through him. Even after you pulled apart, his arms remained on either side of your face, holding you like you were fragile. His breath fanned over your face, as you shivered, the fluttering in your stomach unsubdued. The elevator had long reached the ground floor, causing the two of you to bashfully laugh concurrently. You thought to yourself that Spencer’s crimson flush and wide grin was a sight you would lose sleep to gaze at. “All this time, I’ve been missing out on that,” you teased, watching him shyly bite his lip as he waited for you to say something else. “I’m very glad you said all of that because I’m very much in love with you, Spencer Reid, and, if you’ll let me, I want to love you, the way people love in all the books you’ve lent me,” you told him. At that, he was sure his heart was yours, fearlessly. So, making afternoon plans and debating which train to take, neither of you really caring as long as you were in the other’s company, you finally stepped out of the elevator, oblivious to the mistletoe that was hanging within it, but more than mindful of what was to come.

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luvrlixie · 3 years ago

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KILLING ME SOFTLY

【REQUESTED】 - OKAY OKAY SJDBJSISH I WAS GONNA REQUEST A SKZ SEEING YOU IN THEIR CLOTHES OR SOMETHING BUT THEN I STARTED THINKING ABOUT BINNIE SEEING YOU IN SHORT SHORTS AND HIS SHIRT WHICH IS LIKE HUGE ON YOU (ALSO THIS MAN IS DEF A THIGH GUY) AND MY MAN GOES F E R A L. SO. YOU LET HIM RIDE YOUR THIGH <33333

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tags: changbin x gn! reader, soft dom reader, thigh riding/dry humping, very soft, exhibitionism????????? idk they aren't alone in the dorm but no one walks in. not a lot of smut sorry y'all </3 mostly just sappy emotions.. but still nsfw... lit rally wrote at 4am and don't feel like editing lmaoo

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"seriously binnie! if you're gonna spend so much money on clothes, you should at least wear them. you have so many cute sweaters and the fact that they're collecting dust in the back of your closet is a crime."

changbin sat up and peered over the back of the couch as you entered the room. he was ready to shoot back a snarky comment but his words died on his tongue as soon as he saw you.

you stopped by the studio to visit him earlier, where he and the rest of 3racha were working on a track for the next album. you hadn't planned on staying long since you knew your boyfriend would be busy. but about 20 minutes after showing up chan was ushering everyone else out of the room, claiming that he had everything he needed from the other boys for now and that they both deserved a night off. any worries you or changbin might have had about chan overworking himself were immediately replaced by the realization that the two of you would finally have some time alone.

and that brought you to where you were now. standing in front of a blushing boy, wearing shorts and a long shirt of his that completely hid said shorts. you had decided to change after your boyfriend proposed that you spend the night. (at the time he was excited for movies and cuddles, but now it was an offer that he was starting to regret as he could already feel himself growing hard). the shirt you wore was one that changbin never put on due to it's size, he didn't think the whole oversized clothes style was really his thing.

but holy fuck it was yours.

"you uh- you look good."

changbin swallowed and you squinted. he was always a sucker for you wearing his clothes, but it was still odd for him to be turning so red just from seeing you in an shirt of his. luckily it didn't take long for you to notice the way his eyes wouldn't meet yours since they were focused on a different part of your body. you couldn't help but let out a little giggle. seeing you in his clothes might make him weak, but his biggest weakness was your thighs. he'd never exactly talked about your thighs in particular, but it was something that you had picked up on as your relationship progressed. you couldn't help but notice how changbin was always making sure to leave little marks on the inside of your thighs, and would jump at the chance to lay between them when he got sleepy, and how he would often pull out just in time to paint your thighs with his cum.

"like what you see?" you asked playfully as you took a few steps forward so you were standing in front of him.

"like what i- fuck yes... you're gonna be the death of me y/n."

you hummed in amusement, loving the affected you had on your boyfriend, and tangled a hand in his hair so you could guide him forward and let him press kisses on your thighs.

"mm seriously, on my gravestone it's gonna say your name after cause of death" changbin breathed out as he happily trailed his lips over your skin.

"that makes it sound like I murdered you, I'm not a fan of that"

you stood there for a few more minutes. finally moving away once you sensed that changbin was growing impatient. although you loved making your boyfriend beg, now was not that time for that. even though you moved to sit down next to him, changbin whined when you stepped away. knowing you, the poor boy was worried that you were gonna make him suffer through the whole movie with a boner. however, you had much different plans in mind for tonight.

with a smile, you slid a hand between his legs. "such a pretty noise, that little whine. wanna make it again for me?"

changbin's mouth went dry, he opened it to say something but nothing would come out. how were you always able to make him speechless? he did want to make that noise for you again. he wanted you to coo over how cute he sounded, but not here. not in the living room with minho still tucked away in his room, and with hyunjin and seungmin who were expected back at any minute.

"please, please let's go to my room. I need you."

you shook your head and started palming at chnagbin's crotch through his sweatpants, making his body go slack. "shh baby it's okay, calm down. I was just gonna let you grind against my thigh, let you get off like that. we'll be fully clothed so if anyone walks in it'll be pretty easy to play it off as cuddling or a makeout session."

that seemed to be all the reassurance that changbin needed. the way you were touching him paired with your soft voice was making his head spin. all he was focused on now was making you happy and chasing his orgasm. not even a second went by until he was moving onto your lap so he was facing you and straddling one of your legs.

"there you go! good boy."

you helped him settle into a comfortable position and pulled him close so his chest was pressed against yours and his face was buried in your neck. as changbin started to move his hips, you continued whispering words of encouragement and gentle praises since you could feel how tense he had gotten. changbin hadn't exactly done this before. and although the whole thing seemed rather self explanatory and he had gotten off by rutting against a pillow multiple times, he felt a bit self conscious with you watching his every move.

"It's okay bunny, there's no right or wrong way to do this. just whatever feels good." you whispered soothingly into his ear, catching the nervous look in his eyes and the way his movements kept faltering.

it was silly of him to be nervous, he realized. the safest he had ever felt was with you, and over the course of your relationship you had both tried out plenty of new things together (both in and out of the bedroom). thigh riding? this was nothing, you had certainly seen him in much more embarassing situations. so changbin nodded and finally started settling into a steady pace, trusting your words entirely.

every drag of his cock elicited a soft ah sound from the dark haired boy. luckily, you didn't have to worry about him being too loud. he was vocal and made plenty of noise, but always quiet whimpers and soft choruses of "oh"s. you could get him to be loud if you wanted to, you knew how. for now the tiny noises he was making was more than enough to satisfy you as you played with his hair and peppered his forehead with kisses. "there you go bun, bet it feels so good huh?" as you spoke you pressed your leg upwards, applying extra pressure to the whimpering boy's cock. the gasp he let out made your eyes widen in entertainment and you repeated the action, taking pleasure in how he squirmed everytime. "keep going little slut, don't slow down. doesn't my bunny wanna make a pretty mess for me?"

"m-more'" changbin panted.

normally you'd chastise him for not saying please. but right now you honestly couldn't care less. you just wanted your boyfriend to feel loved. wanted him to be as proud of himself as you are of him. so you smiled and pressed your leg up again, hands gripping onto his hips so that you can help guide his movements. "that song you were working on when I visited sounded so good. I know you've been working so hard on it. you're so talented baby, so amazing." changbin let out a sort of strangled noise and tightened his arms around you, pulling himself as close to you as he could get. the absence of words didn't bother you. sometimes changbin babbled on and on while you ruined him, telling you how good he felt and how much he loved you. while other times he just clings onto you, settling on a variety of whines to communicate. both were good.

as the familiar tightness grew in changbin's body, he focused on following the push and pull of your arms. if it wasn't for you guiding him he would have entirely lost his rhythm. knowing that your boyfriend was getting close, you started bouncing your leg and kneading his ass with one hand.

"changbin.. binnie, hey. c'mon let me see your face" you softly prodded, waiting for him to pull back. when he did, your heart squeezed in your chest.

he was so beautiful.

his lips were parted and his bottom lip was glossy and red from biting down on it too hard. his hair was sticking out in a few places, and his eyes were so full of pleasure. you could tell from the glassy look that changbin wasn't entirely present, his thoughts were elsewhere.

"m'gonna..." changbin slurred, hips twitching and back arching. you caught on immediately and softly grabbed his chin to make sure he didn't hide his face again, you always loved to see his face screw up as he comes. this time was no different.

"good boy, good boy let it all out for me"

you helped him ride out his orgasm and leaned forward to kiss him. not even caring that the kiss was messy and mostly just teeth since changbin was panting far too heavily to give you a proper kiss. when changbin's orgasm had finished washing through his body, you let him crash back into your chest. as you waited for him to catch his breath you rubbed his back and buried your face in his hair, giving him time to compose himself before talking.

"I love you binnie"

"..love you too y/n ... but seriously you're way too hot ... gonna die from sexiness overload"

#skz smut #sub!skz #sub! changbin #sub! idol #stray kids smut #stray kids x reader #changbin imagine #changbin x reader #changbin smut #skz x reader #skz imagine #stray kids imagine

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julday4 · 4 years ago

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YAHOO! OC TIME!

I also attempted at shading- I'm not the best at it and rarely do it so you're allowed to give critism lmao.

So! This is one of my oc's Skipper! Who's species is actually my own original species, Deyos! (Or Deyo) I might make it an open species if people want to, but for now it's closed and just for myself.

If you'd like to know more about the species and the world they live in, go on keep reading! For now, here's a bit about Skipper:

His a huge manipulater, gossiper and really smug. His really well known in his world for how good he is at manipulating and for basically knowing about everyone's secrets. (And how many eyes he steals, but you'd have to read about the species on keep reading in order to know more about that). Deyos like to nickname him "The true assistant of the Lord", who was the person that created the species. His eyes are Diamond-shaped and his storing item is his neck warmer. He has angel like wings with thin black pointy spikes on the tips and a black line design. He also has a younger brother called Jasper, that I might draw of aswell if people want that or like the species.

anyways, that's everything I can think of for Skipper. Might edit this post if I come up with more, but i'mma stop here.

Reblogs are appreciated!! I spent a long time on this! :'D

Info about the species and the world (IT'S REALLY LONG BTW!):

The species The Deyos (Or 'Deyo' if it's just one of them), is a species made entirely out of negativity. Their entire body is made of a goo-y negative substance, to the point that even their blood is made out of It. (Yes, they have black blood). And have a negative, black type of venom in their fangs or well, teeth, that they use for a specific reason we'll get to in a bit. Appearances All Deyos are different and unique on their appearances. All Deyos take a form of a different type of dog each to look more 'Innocent' and 'trustworthy' (which we'll get to why in a bit). So some Deyos are tall and some are small, but their always bigger then an average human being. Deyos have different type of wings and eyes with a special shape somewhere on their body. (For example: A Deyo with owl-like wings and a square shaped eye on their forehead). While some only just have their og-seeing-eyes, only just wings, or only just those eyes on their body, it's hard to explain without so many examples but basically not all Deyos are the same, some have wings, some don't. Some have the special shaped eyes on their body, some don't. Some have their og-seeing eyes (also what every human has), some don't even have eyes at all. And, because they have black blood, all of their ears, paws, noses, blush, ect, are fully black. Even their eyes are black, to the point it's very rare for a Deyo to have a different eye color besides black. Character

Deyos are usually very agressive and hostile towards eachother, so fights happen pretty much daily. They always steal from eachother, betray eachother, lie, bully, anything you can think of that's rude or agressive. But not all of them are like that of course. Some are more chill and calm, some are more thoughtful and kind, it really depends on the Deyo. Thou, with the way they act, Deyos are VERY intelligent. They have alot of advanced technology, know ALOT of languages, know pretty much everything about history, can do any math problem, ect, ect. Their so intelligent, that they learned how to make technogly on the second day they were created, built villages, to communicate with eachother- BASICALLY, they have way more iq then an average human, like, even the stupidest Deyo is smarter then a human.

Oh and, Deyo's are AMAZING manipulaters. Of course, some are terrible at it, some are decent and some are really good at it, but most of them have experience in manipulation.

Survivablity

So, the way Deyos survive is kinda.. Interesting. They basically steal people's eyes from other worlds in order to survive. The Deyo goes to a different world, find their victim, and after earning their trust (with the help of the Deyo's appearance and their amazing manipulation ability), the Deyo bites into the victim and releases the venom in their teeth/fangs in the victim, making the victim's eyes fade away and appear on the Deyo's storing item, leaving behind a more shadowy feature on the victim's face plus a of negatvity in the victim, making the victim very negative and basically the complete opposite of who they are. The more eyes the Deyos steal and store into their storing item, the longer they live. Of course, not all Deyos take their time to earn the victim's trust. Some just go right for it. Even thou it's common for Deyos to go to other worlds to steal eyes, some just steal eyes from the animals in their world. Of course it doesn't give the same survivability as one from a person, but it really depends on the size of the animal. Either way, their alright. Mainly Deyos without wings do this, or the more chill ones.

Storing Items

Storing Items is a specific special item that's very close and important to the Deyo and stores the eyes they steal, aka, their only way to survive. Storing Items can be any kind of item, from a ring to a goddamm door or something. Of course, it's mainly reccomended to use accessories or something you can actually bring with you at all times. But you probably wonder: "How do they make the eyes they steal, appear on that Storing Item?" Here's how! (A bit of a TW for cutting and blood).

First, they pick out one of their most cherished item. Second, they use any sharp object and cut a bit of their skin open until blood starts coming out. Third, they take their blood and draw a special sign on the cherished item with their blood. Fouth, then a lil scene of negative magic starts surrounding the cherished item, giving the item a more bland and darker version of it's original colors and well, inserts negative magic inside of it. And Fifth, bam! A Storing item to store your tiny stolen whatever-shaped eyes. :) Storing item's are also pretty hard and tough to destroy, even if their really soft like Skipper's neck warmer. You'll have to use specific magic (Like positivity or something) in order to reduce the negativity inside it and turn it back to normal. (And maybe even release the stolen eyes? I'mma have to think more into this!)

The World

This is a huge world where the only season is Winter and snow is everywhere. It has a bunch of winter animals like Polar-bears, lynx's, foxes, rabbits, any you can think of! However, the Deyos only live in one part of the world that has a bunch of snowy mountains, forests and icey rivers. There are mainly two villages in this part! The snowy mountains and the snowy forests. The mountains are where most Deyos with wings live in. The mountains has a bunch of caves that the Deyos use as home, use for training or can use as workshops! There's also a pathway to some of the mountains so wingless Deyos CAN live in the mountains, but it will get tiring most of the time.. Soo.. Forest it is! In the big snowy forest is a village where most wingless Deyos live in! The village has alot of cozy homes, shops, a townsquare, ect! And well, mainly the more chill Deyos live in the village cause it's in a forest, which means it nearer to the animals that they hunt down instead. Plus, they can train on the animals instead of just a dummy in the training caves. And well, that's really it about their world. There's also some rivers around the area, really icey ones so there's like, alot of ice slabs on it. So sometimes Deyos go there to just chill on the big ice slabs. And now.. You're probably wondering. "How do the Deyos go to other worlds exactly?" Well, they use their most cherished thing of all, the portal!

The Portal

This huge portal is located on the very top of the highest mountain. It is held onto by a bunch of big boulders and is made of negative magic. This portal was given to the Deyos by the creator as a lil 'Gift' or something, so the Deyos cherish it alot. This Portal is the main reason the Deyos are able to go to worlds and steal eyes. But how do they get back to their world? Well, Deyos can also summon a mini version of the portal that's about their size. However, they can also use this ability outside their world. So if they try to do it at their world, it'll just start to spark and zap the Deyo. No cheating you lil fool!

Annd holy shit that's pretty much everything I can say about Deyos. If you have read this far, thank you so much because I took WAYYY to long to write this, so thank you! :D And if you have any questions, please do ask! Cause i'm not the very best at explaining things, hehehe.. Either way, thank you for spending your time on this! :)

#Alec's art #Alec's ocs #Original species #Deyos #Deyo #Skipper #AAAAAA #I really hope ya'll like this!!#And uh again #Warning #alot of info #Either way #i'm kinda proud of the species so!#yeah!! :D #tysm to the person who told me to keep going with the drawing btw-#Ily :)

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i-dont-want-your-hysteria · 4 years ago

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Too Daze Gone (Joe x Reader)

(Happy birthday to me! You’re all going to suffer. This is a little something that I wrote over 2 1/2 years ago based on a concept that I thought of three years ago; one of the first ideas I ever had for a Def Leppard fanfic. I made some very minor edits to it ((since I’m not 17 anymore)), and honestly, this is still one of my favorite things that I’ve ever written. But I know you guys are gonna have my head for it later...)

Prompt: It’s December of 1989. You and Joe are recently married, the world has now officially entered the post-Hysteria era, and- well...

-----

December 1989

The soft morning sunlight was seeping through the plane’s window right next to you. Joe’s head was resting on your arm, and you used your opposite hand to stroke his hair soothingly. He had one hand on his stomach, along with his green eyes closed and shut away from the world. The plane was flying steadily now, but your minds were anything but steady at the moment. There was so much to say, but no place or time to say it. It was almost as if you two were having a telepathic conversation; there was so much thinking between you both, yet nothing was being said.

“You alright, Joe?” the voice of a London guitarist broke your attention from the window. He’d strolled over to the seats where you and the man in question were sitting, and let his concern get the better of him.

There was far too much concern going around today, so Phil's question was rather unnecessary.

“Oh, he’s fine,” you answered sweetly, knowing that Joe didn’t want to answer, and also not wanting to give Phil any hint to your invisible nerves, “He’s just feeling rather sick is all.”

Phil sighed, “Ah, yeah, the turbulence wasn't the greatest.”

You decided to go along with Phil’s theory of why Joe wasn’t feeling well. After all, it was believable.

“Yeah, we haven’t been awake that long, either. You know how he can be in the morning. He’s just sick of the day, really,” you lightly joked. Today was not necessarily a good day for jokes. There was a deep, underlying sadness beneath the surface of everybody's tone no matter how much they joked around.

“Oh, so he’s got morning sickness, I see?” Phil joked along, trying to lighten the universally tense mood, “Well, congratulations on the pregnancy, Joe.”

Your heart jumped and you forced a chuckle at the statement. You felt Joe’s heart jump, too.

“Thanks, Phil,” Joe cracked a gentle smile for him as he walked away. You could feel how forced the smile was as Joe slowly reached out and squeezed your hand. He was definitely more worried than you.

“Shh, I know. I’m worried, too,” you whispered to him so quietly that you could barely hear yourself, “But we’ll deal with this later.”

~18 hours earlier~

You weaved your hands together with the utmost anxiety as you waited for Joe to get back from a small trip to the supermarket. As you waited, there was no stopping the racing thoughts in your mind. Once one thought appeared and rooted itself within you, it was impossible to keep it from rolling into a snowball of others. It was driving you absolutely mad on the inside. Keeping calm on the outside, however, came rather easily. It almost felt like second nature at the moment. Of course, you knew that was all going to change the second Joe got back.

Everything was going to change the second Joe got back.

When he did come back, you immediately stood up and went over to him, trying to be casual and lighthearted.

"Hey! How was the store?" came the greeting from you. Your voice was nearly on the verge of breaking from the tension of the whole situation.

"A fucking treat," he grumbled sarcastically, putting four bags down on the table, "The whole bloody place was packed, the service was piss poor, traffic on the way back, you name it."

You kissed him on the cheek for a few seconds in consolation, quickly making his small dimple appear as a result. Normally, it melted your heart to see him smile, but this time, it made it almost vibrate with worry. It hurt to see him happy now, since you knew it wouldn't last long.

He turned and put his hands on your waist, "I suppose it was worth it to get back to you, though."

You wrapped your arms around his neck, quickly pecked him on the lips, telling him, "You're too kind. Now let's see what you've looted up on-"

Desperate to distract both of you from each other, you turned to the grocery bags and started to pull the items out. You did it in a sped-up manner to keep your hands from shaking too visibly. You had no idea when to mention what had to be mentioned.

"I'll tell you what," Joe spoke up, his annoyance still audible in his voice, "The service down there was so fucking slow. Took me a half hour to get four bloody bags worth."

"I'll say you took a while," you impulsively decided to create a segue- any segue- that may get you closer to your fated subject. You blurted out "You’re late."

As he continued pulling out the groceries, he cocked an eyebrow, and asked without looking at you, "What do you mean I’m late?"

"Just, you're late, that's all," you shrugged, the anxiety overwhelming you more. It was getting close to the subject now.

"I'm not late," he chuckled, still not looking up or fully understanding you. You both often liked to joke and tease each other, so this wasn’t anything strange to him.

"No," you stated calmly, going completely motionless with fear, “But I am."

He didn't completely comprehend what you had said. He began to put away the groceries and asked you obliviously, "What do you mean you're late?" Late for what?"

You pressed on, remaining rooted to a motionless state and staring at him, "No, Joe... I’m late."

"You mean that this month you didn't get your-" he started off normally, but then paused as the penny dropped. He froze, and dropped the can he was holding. Your heart sank in your chest at his reaction. Now was the time to talk about it, and you could sense it wasn't going to be pleasant. Part of you began to think that this is how it might end for you two.

He turned around, looking almost mortified and whispered, "Oh my god... are you...?"

"I don't know..." you were shaking now, "I'm just assuming."

For a moment you both stood there, staring at each other, lost for words.

Another impulse suddenly arose within you, and you blurted out again with a wavering and worried voice, "I-I hope I'm not, Joe, and I know you don't want me to be, either, because now is not a good time for this to be happening! You’re at the peak of your career, and we’ve got the new album on the way, then you'll be on tour again- and-"

"Hey, hey, shh," Joe moved forward and put his hands on your arms, "Calm down... it's okay, it's okay. First of all, who ever said I didn't want this? You can't just assume that I wouldn't be okay with it... and I'm not mad- really, I swear! Second of all, this isn't set in stone yet. We'll have to find out if you are first, and if you are, we'll... then we'll make it work out somehow. Don’t think too much just yet; try to relax.”

You blew out a shaky exhale and muttered, “Yeah, okay...”

“Have you been sick?"

"No, but something just feels... off."

"How late are you?"

"About a week..."

"Have you been this late in the past, but gotten your period anyway?"

"Yes..."

"Then we don't know for sure," he kissed the top of your head, embracing you and reassuring, “So what if you're late? That doesn't have to mean anything! I'm worried, too, but we can't just jump to conclusions like this. I wouldn't even put the stakes at 50-50 right now. All this worrying is probably over nothing. You could just be overthinking."

You turned your head and attempted to look up at him to say, "But this is a child, Joe... if there's even a small possibility that this child exists, we've got to assume that it does... we can't just ignore it for too long."

"You've got a point, you've got a point, but just for a second, genuinely consider the possibility that you're not-" he didn't dare say the “p” word, "-you know..."

You sighed into his shoulder, fighting back against tears that wanted to fall, "Okay, okay, you could be right, but there's so much that might have to be done- we can't just put this off..."

"We can until we know for sure," he suggested, "If it's worrying you so much right now, then I'll run out to the corner store and pick up a test. We can sort this out once and for all. How long did you wanna wait before taking a test?"

"I don't know, I don't know," came the drawn out reply as a few tears spilled from you, "Maybe a day or two or three, but I'm just getting so worried that it might be true, I can't wait anymore."

"Okay, then you won't have to wait anymore," he tilted your chin up to give you a quick and thoughtful kiss, then wiped away your tears, "I'll run to the store quick and buy us a test. Is that okay?"

"Yes, please just do it. I'm sorry- you just got back from the store and-"

He laughed and squeezed you tighter, swaying with you in his arms, "Ah, don't worry about it; it's a necessary trip now."

"You're taking this a lot better than I thought you would."

"What'd you think I was gonna do? Leave you?" he chuckled lightheartedly, though he guessed exactly what you were thinking.

You faked a chuckle in reply, "Yeah, kinda... I had a lot of time to overthink everything."

"Well, would you leave me? Especially if I were in your shoes?"

It was your turn to squeeze him tighter (and laugh into his chest), "Joe, if you were in my shoes, I think we'd have a real problem."

"Oh, I know, I know- but apart from that- would you leave me?"

"Of course not..."

"Exactly. You wouldn't leave me, so I definitely won't leave you. You know we've always looked after each other, and I still plan on holding up my end of the bargain."

He kissed you again, longer this time, before softly assuring you, “I love you. Don't ever think that I’d abandon you to raise a child on your own, cos' it'll never ever be a possibility. I'll be here no matter what. Positive or negative."

***

Positive or negative, indeed, you told yourself as you wearily gazed out of the plane's window. You still weren't completely sure how to feel about the outcome of the previous day, but- as you told Joe before- you had to deal with it later. There were more pressing matters currently at hand. Your previous issue could wait for an extra day or two. The more serious problem that you all were on your way to currently needed the most attention. This particular problem also seemed to outline a theme for the past 24 hours; accidental life or accidental death.

~17 hours earlier~

You both sat on the bathroom floor in quiet anxiety. Your hands were joined in a world of worry. At the moment, it was impossible to tell who was more worried, since neither of you could bring yourselves to speak.

The longest two minutes of your lives were currently taking place. The test was sitting on the counter of the sink, and neither of you were counting down to when you could look at it again. Every now and then, a reassuring thought would come to mind that you were all worked up over nothing. After all, Joe was right; you barely had any evidence other than the fact that you were late, so you couldn't just assume the worst. On the other hand though, you couldn't help but feel that there was some impending doom about to come, almost like you felt it instinctively.

With you both being scared shitless at the moment (and not even trying to hide it), you sensed that deep down, both of you knew what the result was going to be. Neither of you wanted to admit it, though.

A few rooms away, the phone suddenly sounded off, shattering the tension and making you both jump. It was almost like a form of divine intervention to prevent you from thinking any more. Almost immediately, Joe lifted his hand away and quietly said that he'd answer it. He stood up and left, leaving you alone with a possibly huge revelation sitting on the counter a few feet away. However, that would no longer be your biggest concern, for you could easily overhear Joe talking on the phone.

"'Ello?" he answered before pausing and replying anxiously, "No, I really don't have a minute... I can't say, but I don't have time to chat. You alright, mate?”

There was an unnerving pause before you heard Joe ask, "Why?"

There was an even longer pause before he spoke again. Your heart was pounding more. That gut feeling that your lives were about to change for the worse grew enormously without warning. On top of that, you suddenly realized that it had been well over two minutes at this point. Your future awaited you now.

"Fuck... oh my god..." Joe's voice was a lot more quiet now, "...oh my god, is he...?"

Now, you began weaving your hands together, slowly growing more and more impatient and worried.

"Dammit," Joe said a little louder, "We'll we've gotta go, then. We've gotta go as soon as possible. What about Rick and Sav...? Alright, then. We'll meet you there tomorrow morning- I've really gotta go and tell Y/N right now. I'll call you in a bit. Yeah, alright... just try and calm down, mate- okay? See ya, then."

As soon as he hung up, you heard him rush back to the bathroom.

"Y/N, he huffed before he was even in the room, "Y/N, something's happened and we’ve gotta-“

He froze in the doorway upon seeing you now standing and completely covering the test in your hands.

"No," he moved forward and put a hand on yours, "Please don't look at it yet; something awful's happened and I don't know how much sudden news we can take at this point. Did you look at it?”

You shook you head, not breaking eye contact with him, "No, but now I'm too scared to take my hands off. What's happened?"

He came right out with it, "Steve's been found unconscious at a bar in Minneapolis. They took him to a hospital, he’s in intensive care and... and he’s pretty bad.”

Right then and there, you dropped the test in your hands with a gasp. You were speechless, but part of you couldn't help but ask, "Is- is he gonna make it?”

You suddenly saw tears in Joe's eyes when he answered, "I don't know... he won't die unless we knock some fucking sense into him! That was Phil who just called, and he sounded scared shitless..."

"W-well what are we gonna do? Is anyone going to see Steve?"

"We are. Tomorrow morning we're flying out with Phil, Mutt, Tony, and Peter."

"Wait, what about Rick and Sav?"

"They both can't make it on short notice. We're gonna have to give Steve a beatin’ over the head from them.”

Just like that, you forgot all about the test on the floor. Steve was dying, and that was enough to flood your mind. You wanted to cry, you wanted to hug Joe, you wanted to scream, and most of all, you wanted to see Steve and sob your brains out to him.

"He's never gonna get better, is he?" you quietly asked, not particularly looking for an answer. Joe shrugged and sighed, running his hands through his hair.

He coldly chuckled in a quiet voice, "Not unless we keep drilling it into his head that he's gonna kill himself!"

Hanging your head out of astonishment, you sat on the counter, realizing that this was the biggest blow to your lives since Rick’s accident.

At least, it would be until you saw the result of the test on the floor.

"Joe..." you whispered to him, staring down at your hands, "Should we look at the test? Should we wait until we get back?"

Joe did nothing more than stare at you, frowning nervously. He moved his own hands forward, placed them on top of yours, and took a deep breath.

“We’re only gonna be more worried if we wait... so we might as well settle things now.”

Joe slowly got on his knees, and felt on the floor for the test without looking at it. When he located it, he rose back to his feet, and brought the test forward. He kept it covered with all his fingers wrapped around it to conceal the verdict.

Blowing out a trembling breath, you looked at him as he did at you, and he gently unfolded his fingers from the test. You both simultaneously looked down to see the clearly marked result. In that second, you were fairly certain that life would never be the same.

In fact, you were positive.

***

“Now is literally the worst possible time to talk about this, Joe,” you whispered again so no one else on the plane could hear, “It can wait a day or two. We’ve got to worry about Steve first."

Joe nodded a little, agreeing with you, “Okay, I suppose it can wait.”

“Don't stress yourself out so much; it's literally making you sick. Besides, I’m the one who’s supposed to be sick,” you chuckled, “That’s not your job.”

“Oh shut up,” he laughed a little, “It really is the turbulence… and the fact that Steve’s… and you’re… and I’m surprised you’re not this overwhelmed.”

You sighed and turned your head towards the window, “Yeah... I’m really surprised, too. This is gonna be one hell of a story to tell this kid when they’ve grown up...”

“I feel sorry that their story had to start out like this,” Joe put another hand on top of your already joined hands with a guilty exhale, “With such bad timing...”

As you watched the illuminated clouds move on by the window of the plane, you couldn’t help but think that things truly would be okay at one point: like that maybe this wouldn’t be such bad timing after all. Things would all work out eventually. How far away that merciful checkpoint was, you’d never be able to guess.

***

Later that day, you found yourself sitting in a circle of people in a rather pleasant-looking and sunlit room. For such a nice day that it was, nothing about the day seemed to fit the mood the weather provided; the universe simply wouldn’t allow it. Now was the time for the serious matter you came for; you were desperately trying to help Steve.

“Steve, you’re scaring the shit out of us,” Phil read bluntly from his letter to his best friend, trying not to let soft emotion seep into his tone. He knew he needed to be stern, but caring towards him.

The whole time he spoke, you wanted to devote all of your attention to him and Steve, but soon found that you couldn't. The constant thought of your unborn child was first on your mind, and although you didn’t want that taking over your thoughts, it was beginning to eat you alive. You almost felt like you couldn't hold the secret back any longer, despite only knowing for a day. In any other circumstances, it would have been so much easier to keep it secret. Today, however, was the worst possible day, with the worst possible scenario.

Every now and then, Joe would look over at you to see how you were doing, and turn back to not be conspicuous to everyone else. You could practically sense his growing worry. Going on in this manner for so long was starting to make your own unstoppable thoughts bubble to the surface. You couldn't hold out for much longer, and was even starting to think outside the box about your while situation. Was being with child really a problem? Did it have to be a bad thing right now? Could you actually find a way to rip some positivity from it all and shed some light on this situation?

That's when it hit you.

When Phil was done his speech, some silent tears were shed by everyone in the circle (including Steve). Near silence commenced afterwards (which only reminded you that there was no distraction from your thoughts now). You reached out to Joe slowly, and took his hand in a tight grip without looking at him. While you felt his eyes on you, you didn't dare look at him.

"Has anyone else got something to say to add onto that?" Peter softly asked, looking around the circle. Your heart began to pound; an opening for you was coming.

Phil slowly began to comment, looking at his feet, "Well, there's nothing I can say to get the point across any more. We can beg and plead all we want but the point still stands, Steve. I know you're not a fan of us guilt tripping you to hell- but we don't want to beat you up; that’s not what we came here to do. We love you, mate... so it doesn't matter whether or not we guilt trip you by saying we're worried sick, or- or..."

"I'm pregnant," you stated simply, closing your eyes and squeezing Joe's hand. While you didn't see it, you felt Joe inhale and look at you instinctively. For the single day that you were aware of your condition, you and Joe had feared the "p" word, and avoided using it at all costs.

Phil didn't entirely comprehend what you said, and kept talking on, "Exactly, even if we said that-"

"No-" you sat up in your seat and opened your eyes, now shaking again, "I mean... I'm pregnant."

You looked over at Joe, who seemed tired, yet understanding. Your eyes went down to his hand as you corrected yourself, "We're pregnant."

All eyes were on you now, but no one had any inclination to speak for a moment.

“Are you serious?” Mutt broke the silence in astonishment, “You're fucking with us right now, aren't you?"

“She’s not,” Joe shook his head, still fixing his loving eyes on you.

Steve looked at Phil and stated coldly, "I thought you said you guys weren't gonna make stuff up to guilt trip me."

"Does it look like I'm making this up?!" you snapped at him, anxious and shameful tears brimming your eyes. You looked around at everyone, landing your eyes on Steve.

"So you're serious?” he asked softly, frowning as he flicked off ashes from his cigarette, “You really are pregnant?”

You nodded, trying to hold yourself together.

“When did you find out?” Peter inquired gently, coming off as the most calm member of the group.

Your voice began to break as you told him with a sad chuckle, “Yesterday... we were waiting for the result of the test right when you called, Phil...”

Phil's eyes lit up at your statement, and he apologized, "Oh- fucking hell... Joe... you even said you didn't have time to talk... and what I said on the plane this morning- must've only made things worse... guys, I'm so sor-"

"That wasn't your fault, mate," Joe smiled sadly, "There's no way you could've known."

"It was just bad timing," you stared at Joe's hand in yours, feeling him shaking as well.

No one spoke for a while after that; no one could think of the right thing to say. It seems you both had scared them all into silence (even more than Steve had). Everyone in the circle couldn't speak because they no longer saw you and Joe the same way. A minute ago, you were still Y/N and Joe. Now, you were mum and dad. The others didn't know how to speak to those strange new people just yet.

“Well, congratulations, for one thing,” Tony broke the silence with a soft smile. A few muffled chuckles and agreements went around the circle, but it wasn’t what you or Joe wanted to hear.

“No, no, that’s not the point,” you threw your hands out in frustration, “We never even planned on telling anyone today! Don’t you guys see how suddenly life can come and go? Twenty-four hours ago Joe and I didn’t even have a child, and now we do. Twenty-four hours ago, we didn’t even think that there was a possibility of you dying-“ you pointed at Steve, giving him your own furious input, “-and now there is. It’s just all so surreal, but no matter how bad the timing of your life is, there’s always time to fight for survival. And that's exactly what we need to get a grip on right now.”

Steve put out his cigarette at this point, looking as if he were genuinely listening to you now more than ever.

“And I guess timing was a real bitch to us today,” you put a hand on your abdomen for the first time since you found out, addressing Steve directly, “But I’d say now you’ve got a little bit more to fight for. Just think about this whole situation; it’s not exactly a tale to be proud of. If this story keeps getting worse, and this is how it ends for you- I don’t want that to be the story of Uncle Steve. I want our child to be born into a world where you're thriving- where they... where they actually have an Uncle Steve."

You had hit a nerve (or a soft spot, to say the least). Before you even realized exactly what you had said, everyone in the circle was crying, including you and Steve. Joe looked at you with his face smothered in tears, but smiling, no less.

The seven of you remained like that for a minute or two, absorbing what had really hit everyone hard, and quietly crying your brains out.

Steve didn’t raise his head to ask you with heartfelt astonishment, “...Uncle Steve, really?”

“C’mere, you fucking idiot,” you sprang to your feet at one point and rushed over to him, taking him in your arms as he stood to take you in his without the slightest bit of hesitation.

“I love you so much, Steve,” you sobbed into his chest, “And I will always care about you. You mean so much to me, and I know you’ll mean so much to the baby, too.”

One by one, everyone else in the circle joined in the hug, each of them murmuring their love to Steve in their own affectionate way. Once you were all broken up, Joe embraced you himself and kissed you over and over again.

“Hey, back off from her,” Mutt teased, “Haven’t you done enough?”

“I still can’t believe you knocked her up,” Phil sighed with happy disbelief, “That’s something we only ever joked about!”

“Yeah well, it doesn’t have to be seen as a joke anymore,” Joe put his hands on your hips and smiled, tearing up all over again, “I’m gonna be a dad...!”

Peter chimed in, “Now that’s a bit scary.”

“It’s not scary,” you chuckled, stroking the back of Joe’s head, “It’s exciting! Timing is a bitch... but I think I’m ready for anything time can throw at me, now.”

Reaching that point of acceptance was a day-long journey that you thought would never have a final destination. All was nearly well in that moment where you and Joe hugged with a seemingly-changed Steve standing by. Right then and there, the future seemed bright for everyone; including your unborn child. An eternity went by in those two days you were gone for, and even though the next day you found out that your test result was a false positive, and Steve only lived for about another year, that false positive seemed to be just what you all needed to keep the world at bay.

The end

#*dances with an umbrella as your tears rain down on me* :3DD #your tears are the best birthday presents i could ask for #def leppard #def leppard fanfic #def leppard x reader #joe elliott x reader #original content #i honestly don't know if I'll ever write anything that can top this as far as a one shot goes #phil collen #steve clark #peter mensch #mutt lange #i thought of this when I was into Leppard for like 2 months #maybe less than that #also the pic of joe on the right really makes me fEEL THINGS #yes i stole the title of this from a Billy Squier song #i started writing this on august 13th 2018 and finished it on december 9th 2018 #I wanted to post this in december 2020 but I was taking a hiatus

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lstories · 3 years ago

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Emma and Gaudi(um)

(Safe, Soft, Unwilling, Vore, accidental fearplay.)

Original idea by @mangotangovoredango. I just put my own spin on it and used my own oc's

"Owww." Emma woke up, her back was killing her. "Every God damn night." She muttered to herself still half asleep, she tried to grab one of the blankets to cover herself and fall back asleep as the morning sun crept in. She flailed her arms to no avail, looking down to the foot of her bed Emma realized she had kicked off all her blankets trying to get comfortable in her sleep... again. Every night was the same, waking up in weird positions and her muscles aching from working and resting. She didn't have to work, she didn't have to do anything. She was the CEO of a nationwide electronics/shopping chain and didn't have to work in store but, she wanted to help more than shoot ads and work as a telephone line between the board of directors. She still had to work as the CEO while also working in store and it was starting to catch up to her.

She didn't want to fall into the category of not having to work a day in her life so she worked retail in her own company. After laying in bed for almost an hour, waiting for the alarm to get her out of bed she was not expecting a knock at the door to be the thing to fully wake her up. "Why is anyone out here, and why right before work." She thought starting to sit up. Putting her slippers on. Emma lazily walked over to the front doors. She wasn't expecting anyone and she lived a few miles out of town so nobody should be here. "Hey! I told you this was her house." Emma could recognize the voice immediately without needing to see their face. A few of her work friends stopped by with a car parked out front. That would be great if she didn't have to take a shift in an hour. "Hi, work starts in an hour, what are you doing here?" Emma said trying to sound as awake as she could. "You signed up for the carpool, remember? It was a four person pool and you signed up as the third person in ours. Also why aren't you ready for work yet." Hope said, a bit confused and concerned.

Emma started to remember, she just thought it was another paper for her to sign and now the pictures started to make more since. She didn't want to let her friends down so maybe a week would be ok before she stopped to not hurt their feelings. "I... guess it just slipped my mind, I'll get dressed really quick." Emma said closing the door and walking back to her room. "MAKE IT QUICK, WE GOTTA BE THERE SOON!" Paige yelled threw the closed door. Emma started to get dressed as quickly as she could. Stoping only to grab a small tied bundle of physical cash she put into a side pocket in her purse. She was still so tired, she couldn't keep going to work with how she's been sleeping, mostly less than an hour or two a night. She also refused to drink coffee, it was too bitter and it only made her feel even worse after a while. She walked out the door, just barely remembering to lock it as Paige basically dragged her to the car. "WE GOTA GO NOW!" She yelled as Hope started to drive off before Emma could put her seatbelt on.

"What is your rush, we have over an hour and a half before work starts." Emma said finally getting her seatbelt on. "No, it starts in half an hour and we're 10 miles away AND we have to pick someone else up!" Paige said as she frantically looked threw map and clock apps. Emma couldn't help but peek over the seat and look at her phone, and then she realized something. "You remembered daylight savings, right?" Emma said tiredly, showing her phone to Paige. She looked at the time on her phone, then the time on Emma's phone, back and forth until editing her time. "My time was off." She quietly said. Hope started to laugh her ass off. "Looks like we'll be able to stop and get coffee too." Hope said as her laughter started to die down. "Oh... cool." Emma said, a little annoyed that she couldn't go back to sleep for this. She tried to drift off, her head resting into the soft cushion. She almost fell asleep until the car stopped and another person got in the car. The briefcase they were carrying hit Emma in the legs and she winced in pain. "What the, why's there a forth person. Who... Faith?" Emma exclaimed rubbing the side of her leg that was hit by the briefcase.

"Oh, sorry Emma. Were running late and looks bad when the manager shows up last." Emma slightly glanced at her, annoyed that she couldn't sleep. "Did you-" Emma tried to talk before she was interrupted by Paige. "Daylight savings was last week and we were late but Emma showed me that my clock was fast and now were heading to the coffee shop because were early, is your clock fast?" Paige said. She didn't seem to need to breath when she talked. "Oh, I guess it is. That's embarrassing. Where are we going for coffee?" Faith asked as she started to settle down. Emma couldn't believe it, this was the first day of the car pool she didn't remember signing up for. They were uncoordinated and didn't plan for time, and she wouldn't expect anything less from her friends. "Theres a coffee shop on the corner and the new guy there makes amazing drinks. Should we go there?" Hope said, turning the corner before anyone could answer. "Guess that's a yes." Emma said under her breath. They all talked and waited in line and Emma just tried not to fall over. "Hi, what can I get ya." Gaudi exclaimed. "Hey your the new barista that Hope has been talking about, didn't you just move here because the old coffee shop you worked for closed and you were transferred here because you were so good and did you know Amy she was a regular there." Paige said, a giddy smile on her face and no falter in her breath. "Like a walking plot machine." Emma said under her breath. Gaudi slightly laughed at it, but no one else heard it. No one was supposed to hear it, she knew she said it quietly enough so nobody could hear it, let alone someone on the other side of a glass pain while she was in the back of a crowd.

"Ya, I knew Amy. She always got a hot chocolate instead of something caffeinated." Gaudi said, his face going from concerned back to chipper in an instant. "Anyway, what can I get you all?" He said. Everyone ordered their cups and last was Emma to order. She had never ordered coffee before and she didn't want to start now. "I heard something about hot chocolate, could I just get that." Emma said, her eyes were too heavy to hold open for very long. "Its not my specialty but I can load it with sugar if that's going to help you threw the day." Gaudi said, slightly laughing. "If can get me threw the day I might come back tomorrow." Emma said, placing 100$ on the counter. "You can keep the change." She said walking back to her friends. Gaudi was shocked, he looked at it and back at her. He wanted to make her drink perfectly, would it be so selfish to use a bit of magic to help her and himself. She seemed nice and she was cute so why not have her around sometimes, and maybe she might give him another big tip someday. He started to work on all their drinks, once he got to Emma's drink he made it as normal before lightly scratching something into the side of the cup. Emma couldn't stop looking back at him, there was something about him that she couldn't shake. It wasn't bad but she didn't trust it.

"Here you go everyone, and we hope you come back soon." Gaudi said while handing everyone their cups. Emma took one sip and immediately her entire body seemed to wake up. It was super sweet and she took another sip. Once she finished she felt like she had slept an entire day. When Gaudi wasn't making anything or helping anyone Emma came up to talk to him.

"What did you put in my drink? I haven't felt this awake in months."

"Magic."

"You put magic in my drink?"

"Ya, a small awakening spell."

"Come on, what did you put in it. I need to put it in my own drinks at home."

"If you won't accept magic then it's my personal secret."

"So you want me to come here every day to get your drink."

"I'd be able to see you every day and that would be nice."

"You want to see me? Can't tell if that's flirty or stalkerish."

"Well you said you would come back if the drink woke you up."

Emma started to talk once again before getting cut off. "We gotta go now, work actually starts soon." Hope said walking out the door with the others. Emma walked away without saying anything, trying to catch up to her friends. "Guess I'll see you tomarow then." Gaudi said with his head on his hand and a big grin on his face. Emma spun around, her cheeks were slightly red. She was about to say something before turning around and following her friends out. They all got into the car, everyone was eerily quiet. Emma had one last glance at Gaudi threw the window, he was helping a customer and was able to slightly glance back at Emma for just a second before Hope drove away. "So... You like him, don't you?" Faith said looking over at Emma. "No. Quiet, I'll fire you if you dont be quiet." Emma said, her cheeks brightening. "You do, you think we didn't notice." "Of course you do, and I think he likes you." They kept talking about how cute it would be if they were together, Emma just buried her head in her hands until they got to work.

Timeskip: Next Day

"Ugh" Emma's back was killing her... again. This time she had to get up even earlier for the car pool. She got up, got dressed, and waited outside for her friends. Her mind started to wander, she thought about what would happen at work, what the board of directors would be arguing about and all that. Then she started to remember what happened yesterday, Gaudi, the drinks, her friends, and how they would probably bring her back there. Oh and speak of the devil's, her friends pulled up at that moment. She lazily got into the back seat and they drove off, Hope and Paige were talking about her. "You were more productive yesterday and you seemed happier." "Maybe its because of the new barista." They kept pestering her about it. Soon they picked up Faith and she joined in, joking about her and the new barista. Not even five minutes later and they were at the coffee shop. They all gave their orders, leaving Emma to talk to Gaudi at the other counter.

"So, your back."

"I said I would be."

"Well, what can I get you today."

"Another hot chocolate."

"Will do."

Gaudi got to work making her drink, once she sat down he put another scratch into the side of her cup, covering it with the sleeve. Emma took a sip, her body started to wake again. If it kept waking her back up she was going to come here every day without complaint, other than her friends annoying her. They all talked, Emma actually able to commit to the conversation now. Before they left Emma put 200$ in the tip jar, smiling at Gaudi on her way out.

Timeskip + Brief Summary: 4 months later

Emma continued to go nearly every day. She stopped going in the car pool after a while but still met up with her friends there. She gave a sizable tip to Gaudi almost every day, but his coworkers were starting to get annoyed. She experimented with the drink, staying up for almost two full weeks with no sleep and no repercussions. She kept wondering and pestering Gaudi what he put in her drink but she never got an answer more than "magic". They started to get to know each other more, eventually Gaudi got her number and they watched a movie at her house. He was amazed at how big her house was, he didn't believe it when he saw it. Eventually, Emma had to go on a business trip and couldn't take Gaudi with her.;

Gaudi was glad the day was over. His shift was getting long and he just wanted to get home, well, as much of a home as it was. Working at a coffee shop didn't pay much, Emma's tips did help but it wasn't enough to buy a house. He walked down his normal route to home, letting his mind wander on the day. He was sad that Emma had to leave today but she told him what it was for and it made enough sense. He only had to wait 2 more weeks before she would be back and they could watch another movie or something. He walked threw a back alleyway, and into the nearby forest. It didn't take more than 30 minutes to walk to the small clearing in the forest. He could feel his wings and tail getting restless, whenever he turned into a human all of his draconic features turned into a shadow of what they were. He could still feel his tail, wings, the horns on his back, etc. They weren't invisible, but they weren't not there. Either way they needed to move, every night he turned back to a dragon to sleep and he never needed to worry about someone seeing him because they believed that there was a monster in the forest. He was a little bit sad though, his friends were getting mad that he was getting huge tips from a single customer. They all split the tips so he didn't understand why they were mad. He didn't really think on it too long before falling asleep, surrounded by his collected "treasures".

Timeskip: next day (again)

Emma couldn't belive how boring this was. She thought this work trip would be a little more fun but it was just signing more papers and agreeing with the board of directors and signing off with the marketing department. She wanted to leave and go back home, even being with her family would be more entertaining than this. She did read that 2 people went missing on the same day in her home town and that would be fun to look into. If she did have to go threw this, she wasn't going to do it tired. She called Gaudi, his phone rang for a few seconds before he picked up.

"Hey Gaudi"

"Hi, how are you"

"I was wondering if you could tell me how to make the drink, everything is so boring and I'm to tired to deal with anything."

"You know I can't tell you how to make it, it's my secret."

"Come on, how long have we known each other."

"Long enough to say that I will tell you someday, but i can't today."

His voice sounded broken and sad, she couldn't see him but she knew that he wasn't happy. He was always happy about something so this was different.

"Are you ok, you dont sound too good."

"Oh... ya, dont worry. Everything's fine."

"Well, ok. See you when I get home."

Emma couldn't stop thinking about what might have happened to Gaudi. He was never sad, he always seemed to be happy about something so hearing him like that worried her. This was going to be a long trip if she couldn't stop thinking about it.

(Before the call) Gaudi walked back to his work, he was always the first there to open shop. He never had any trouble before and he always did everything right, if he got fired he wouldn't know where to go other than back home. Once he got inside he unlocked the doors and started to turn on the heaters for the drinks. Soon enough his colleagues started to come in. They were all staring at him and watching the windows, eventually the boss came in and called Gaudi into his office. He started to get worried, the boss only ever called someone into his office if something was wrong. He sat down on the other side of the boss' desk, his leg shaking. "Gaudi, your track record and work ethics are astounding, but we've been getting complaints about you." The manager said, his face still as uncaring as when Gaudi first saw him. "Who put in the complaints?" Gaudi chocked out, his throat felt swollen. He feared the worst from what his boss would say, he didn't know why but he knew that something bad was about to happen. "Your coworkers have all been complaining about you, that you haven't been working as hard and that you have been fraternizing with a customer. We are sorry to say this but were letting you go. By signing this form you will be given a full year's pay as compensation if you leave today." He said. Gaudi's mind raced at this, where he would go, what he would do, how he would explain why he had to leave to the only friend he had here. His mind went darker and he wanted to turn into his dragon self and bat the manager around, like a cat and a ball of yarn. It wouldn't be hard and the manager did resemble a ball.

"Yes, I'm sorry sir and have a good day." Gaudi said sadly, signing the papers while holding back tears. He walked out a few of his former colleagues were smiling at him as he walked outside while the others didn't seem to care. He walked home finally laying down defeated, on the verge of tears when his phone rang. It was Emma, he didn't want to talk to her despite her probably being the only thing able cheer him up right now. He answered after letting his voice return to normal and calming down a bit. He didn't want to worry her so he wouldn't say anything about his job right now. He reassured her that everything was fine but still couldn't explain how her drink worked yet, especially over the phone.

Timeskip + brief summary: 3 weeks

Emma got threw the excruciating 2 weeks of mindless board meeting and peptalks to a camera. Once that was over, she reunited with her family for a week. Her youngest brother had finally made a friend and she believed she saw a dragon at the edge of the forest her brother was running to. She tried to stop him and ran after him only to find his new friend with cutout of a dragon and a flashlight. He did seem a bit confused while he was holding them tho. Gaudi was miserable, still sad over losing his job. Sitting in the parks most days to feed off the joy of people walking in the park. He started to use it more as a drug than a food source at this point. He couldn't stop himself, until he got a call from Emma.;

Emma got up from her seat, tiredly stumbling off the plane. A limo pulled in next to the private jet and the 2 other people on the plane started carrying bags from the plane to the limo. Emma got in, trying to go back to sleep. Eventually the limo started moving, jolting Emma back to consciousness and the man driving it started to talk. "Where should I take you mam." Emma tiredly mumbled to him before showing him the address of the coffee shop Gaudi worked at. After a few minutes of driving they arrived, Emma got out of the limo and stumbled into the coffee shop looking for Gaudi. After a bit of waiting she walked over to one of the counters, the persons face was ecstatic that she was walking over.

"Hi, how can I help you."

"Is Gaudi here today?"

Their face slumped a little in disappoint when they heard that the rich CEO that gave out hundreds of dollars in tips was asking for a specific barista.

"Gaudi? He was fired almost 3 weeks ago."

"What! He didn't tell me he was fired."

"Ya, he was fired a few days after you stopped coming in. Is there anything I can get you?"

"No, I'm leaving."

Emma walked out, getting back into the limo and driving off. She called Gaudi to ask where he was. It took a while for him to pick up. He told her he was at the park and she immediately started to head down there. It didn't take long for Emma to find him but his usual smile was replaced by a cold frown. For the first time ever she saw Gaudi sad. It started to break her heart and she walked over, sitting next to him on the grass.

"So you were fired?"

"Yep."

"And you didn't tell me? I talked to one of your colleagues and he said it was the same day I called awsking for your drink recipe."

"Auctly, it was after I was fired. I just didn't want you to worry."

A tear started well in Emma's eyes, rushing in for a hug. She was able to force herself from crying, and she saw the smile return to Gaudi's face. He couldn't hold back his tears as he returned the hug, he felt a wave of emotions wash over him.

"I... I have to leave soon, I just wanted to stay and say goodbye to you."

"What! No, you can't leave. Why are you leaving?"

"I wanted to get away from my family, to live my own life and now that I'm out of a job I need to go back."

"Wait, because you dont have a job you have to go back home? What if I hire you."

"For what? I was fired from the only thing I'm good at."

"That's it. You could be a personal at home barista. It would pay your what your monthly salary of your last job daily, you would have a new place to stay, and you wouldn't have to go home. You could stay with me, here."

"You would do that?"

"I could print the documents in the limo and we could hire a moving team to get everything from your home."

"I don't own a house."

"Your appartment?"

"Nope."

"Where have you been living?"

"In the forest neer the lake."

"You've been... what did you have, is there anything you need to pick up?"

"Nothing important."

"Do you just want to go home?"

"I could make you your drink."

"Or we could finish watching the movie series we started."

"That would be nice."

After a few silent minutes they eventually got up from where they were sitting, Emma had forgotten how tired she was. The adrenaline she had from needing to help her friend was enough to forget she hadn't slept for the past few days. Gaudi sat down next to her, some tears still pooling in the bottom of his eyes. She typed away on the computer she had in the car until they got to her house, Gaudi silently watching the entire time. When they got home she printed out the papers and Gaudi signed them. Emma showed him his new room, it was massive, deffenetly big enough for him to sleep in his dragon form. She showed him where the supplies he would be using were until she could get a full side bar set up somewhere. Gaudi immediately began to work on a quick drink for Emma, the soothing taste and the quick energy fix was needed. Soon the day came to an end, he had unpacked the one bag he was going to use to bring his minor belongings home. Emma had put on a movie in the private theater in her house. Soon a scene came on, a monster showing it's true form to their friend with them immediately accepting the monster as they had known each other. Gaudi couldn't help but want to tell Emma. Gaudi stood up from his seat and motioned Emma to follow him. She followed Gaudi into the front yard of her house. She didn't know what was going on but she thought it was going to be fun.

"So the monster scene that was just on in there, this is kinda that. I'm... I know its weard but I'm... I've wanted to say this for a while that... I know what im trying to say here."

Gaudi kept getting caught up in his words, wanting to just show her. Emma was confused but more happy than anything, it was cute.

"Ok, I'm just going to show you, but I want you to know that I really like you and that I would never do anything to hurt you and I will only ever try to protect you."

She didn't know what he was talking about but it didn't really matter, but her calm face soon went from calm and happy to horrified in just a few seconds. Gaudi's skin started to shift and ridges soon formed, and those into scales. His limbs started to extend as his clothes started to undergo the same process as his skin. Wings and a tail started to form from nothing and grow with him. And in a matter of seconds, a full dragon stood in front of Emma, the dragon of Joy. His pink scales glistened in the moon light. Gaudi fell onto all fours, accidentally shaking the ground with his weight. Emma instinctively took a step back, her face only held one emotion, fear. She was to afraid to move, her muscles were frozen and her heart was racing. Gaudi, tried to keep his smile, but his face was burning with worrie and confusion. Emma took a step back towards the house and Gaudi's instincts started to kick in. He lowered his back closer to the ground as if to pounce on Emma while his face stayed the same. They stood in silence studying each other for a few seconds. Emma made the first move, running toward the front door to get to the safety of her home.

Gaudi jumped, missing the door and jumping past her, trying to reach out his claws to stop her from entering the house. He tried to tell her to wait but she ran threw the door without listening. Emma grabbed her phone and started to unlock it as Gaudi reached threw the open doors and grabbed her. She screamed as a claw came up and flicked the phone out of her hands. He gently pulled her out of the house, holding her in front of him so they could talk. She was punching at his claws, screaming and begging to be let go, trying everything to get away. Gaudi knew she was making to much noise, trying to calm her down. "Please, I'm not going to hurt you. You wanted to know how I make the drink and I told you, magic, It's ok, your safe just please be a little quieter for just a minute so I can explain. " Emma kept screaming for help, her voice barely able to travel to the nearest house. Gaudi kept trying to reassure her that everything was fine when something caught his eye. The neighbors light a ways down the road turned on as a silhouette walked near the blinds. Gaudi ducked between the house and the lake as Emma kept screaming. There was a scene in a older movie that had a monster eating something whole and making it completely silent. He had swallowed a few squirrels and birds when he was younger and put them in his storage stomach to transport them so his mother who could heal them but nothing as big as a human. With a sorry look on his face he shoved Emma into his open maw, making sure not to hit his teeth. He gulped again and again, the sound of Emma's pleas getting quieter and quieter. The taste of chocolate was so strong and he couldn't help but let out a sigh, his eyes widened as he did. He forced himself to gulp faster to stop it from happening again. Eventually her head reached his stomach, a thin shallow liquid pooling at the bottom, covering her already drool covered face. Gaudi closed his mouth, one final powerful gulp and he let gravity do the rest of the work. Gaudi held his throat high, he let out a sigh as his stomach started to expand, a tear started to well in his eyes as he thought about what he had done. His ate his only friend who helped him stay away from his family, and it felt amazing. He knew it was safe but he didn't know if Emma knew, he wanted to help her but he didn't know how. Emma slowly slid into his stomach, the mussels of his throat and stomach started to crush her and she had to pull herself into a ball. After a few seconds of contemplation she started kicking the walls of his stomach and stretching as far as she could when she was fully in. She begged him to let her out, offering money and whatever else, she was fully crying and hearing her cry started to make Gaudi cry.

She couldn't believe it, her friend, the only person she felt she could auctly confide in betrayed her. Gaudi didnt know what to do, his mind raced as his stomach started to hurt. Maby he could make it all seem like a dream, marking a sleep spell into the dirt and raising his hands to his stomach. The clear liquid pooling around her started to glow, more of the liquid started to seep from the muscles of Gaudi's stomach even faster. A blue dust was mixed into the new stomach fluid. She touched a bit, her mind started to swirl and the tips of her fingers went numb. She tried to stay away from the new stomach fluids but it was no use, she begged gaudy not to digest her. A small amount of the liquid driped onto her head, her legs and mid torso were already numb and she couldn't think anymore, she kept awake for as long as she could, but her mind was falling and she couldn't help but drift off.

Gaudi started to calm down, he could feel Emma slowly drifting off to sleep, she stopped fighting his stomach walls and her begging turned into quiet mumbling and sobs. He started to think of how he could spin this so she wouldn't remember what had happened. He could clean up and stay in his human form, putting her back in bed and pretend it was a dream when she wakes up. His mind started to drift and his eyelids were heavy, he laid down on the grass between the house and the lake. He started to think about how he could help her, and if she found out would she let him stay. The grass was so soft, Gaudi's mind started to swirl as he unknowingly let the sleeping spell take him.

Timeskip: Morning

Gaudi woke up to the sound of birds chirping, he looked over to his side and saw a house, the morning sun bounced off his scales and onto the white walls of the house. His gut felt amazing, he hadn't felt this full ever but he didn't remember eating anything. He rolled onto his back, the weight of whatever was in his stomach pressing onto his back was nice but he wanted to know what happened. He rubbed his distended gut for a while, it was so sensitive he almost passed out from the feeling and went back to sleep. As he massaged his stomach he thought he could feel it moving. He sat up, his claws lightly dug into the ground as he watched his stomach. He held his breath for a second watching his stomach slowly, ever so slightly expanding and contracting. If his stomach was moving while he was holding his breath then what did he eat. He laid back down and extended his neck around the corner of the house, there was a limo in the driveway and the doorway looked familiar. He realized he was at Emma's house, had it worked, did he tell her that he was a dragon, but if he was out here than were was..... EMMA!

He rolled over, immediately grabbing his stomach and pushing it forward and forcing himself to get her out. His stomach started to hurt as he pushed Emma up his throat, he couldn't stop thinking about what he had done. If she was awake she would deffenetly call the cops and he would have to leave, and if she wasn't awake how would he fix this. Gaudi was finally able to push her out, he positioned his tounge over his teeth and she slid off of it like a slow sticky slide and onto the grass. She was still somehow asleep but covered in stomach fluids. Gaudi picked her up and hastily blew off all the fluids that were on her, he couldn't feel anything in his hands or claws when he set her back down on the grass. He quickly shifted back to his human form and cafully picked her up and carried her inside. He put her on the bed in the middle of her bedroom with her head resting carefully on her pillows and lazily threw the covers over her before he quickly walked out of the room. He started to make her drink, it was still his job and he would only be fired if she remembered. He worked as fast as he could and looked for a cup, eventually finding a water bottle and peeling one of the stickers down to scratch in the rune. He put the sticker back on and as he poured the drink into the cup he heard slight movement from Emma's room.

Emma woke up slightly moving her arms, somehow the blancket was still on her bed when she woke up. She was getting ready for the surge of pain whenever she wakes up but it never came. She opened her eyes expecting them to stay heavy and her not wanting to get out of bed, but she was fully awake, she sat up in her bed and looked over to her clock seeing that it's an hour until she has to be at work. She got out of bed already dressed, but her clothes were a bit wet for some reason, oh well. She walked out of her room seeing Gaudi pouring a drink into a water bottle. He was already smiling and it only grew as he saw her walking out of her room.

"Goodmorning, it's nice to see you awake"

"Morning Gaudi"

"I tried something new for you. A white hot chocolate, courtesy of your new personal barista Gaudium"

"Thanks, it's nice that... wait, Gaudium"

"Right, I've never told you my full name before"

"I thought your name was just Gaudi"

"Ya, well... I put my full name down for my last job and no one wanted to call me that so they called me Gaudi and I've just been using that ever since"

"After all this time I'm just now learning your name? Why didn't you tell me before"

"I guess it never came up"

"Huh. Well work starts soon so I should get going"

"Alright, when you get back we could finish that movie we started last night"

"Right... it was getting good to, why did we stop watching"

"Oh umm... I don't remember"

"Well I better get going, thank you for this and I will see you when I get back"

Emma walked out of the house, Gaudium was still smiling at her as she walked out. Whenever he smiled it made her happier. She walked down the intricate brick pavement to her car but, something to the right caught her eye. It looked like a liquid splatter, it was thick and was left in small clumps around her tree and on the lawn. She walked across the lawn and knelt down to get a better look at one of the bigger clumps. There was tiny blue specks in it and it looked like they were glowing. She stuck two of her fingers in it and brought a small amount of it closer to her eyes to get a better look. It was sentless and it was silky smooth but also sticky. The blue specks in it started to move closer to her fingers and once they touched her fingers it started to numb them. Her mind started to swirl as she couldn't keep a thought strait. She flicked the substance off her fingers and wiped the rest off on the grass.

Once she got into her car she took a sip of her drink, her mind started to straighten and she kept thinking about the substance. She had seen it before while she was terrified, she thought hard on it and eventually it clicked. The pink scales, the flesh surounding her, falling into his stomach... Gaudi's stomach. She rubbed the pocket of her pants leg, it was still slightly damp. Once she felt it her face slowly shifted to pure terror and she started to shake, he eyes quickly started to well with tears. She looked at the window to the kitchen in her house, Gaudium was silently sweeping away at the floor. He seemed focused and scared but once he looked out to Emma his smile reappeared. Emma couldn't help but smile back, it was involuntary but she still felt happier when she looked at him. She pulled out of the driveway and started to think about everything that happened, shaking all the way. She was eaten whole, how was she still alive, she should have been digested, why did the slime make her numb, how could he do this? She had so many questions she couldn't think strait, all she could think about was how her friend betrayed her. She instinctively parked not realizing where she was, her mind still raced as she looked up and, all at once, it stopped.

She instinctively parked outside the coffee shop and when she realized it her mind slowed to a stop. She sat in her car for a while just trying to process what she was doing and slowly her mind became more active. She started thinking about how he worked there, her friends forcing her to meet him, the happy times they had together in and out of this shop. He was a friend, he always looked out for her and he thought he could trust her enough to tell her something probably nobody else knew about him. He may have ate her but she was fine, and for the single second she remembered not struggling it was almost peaceful. Like the biggest hug he could give her, and somewhere deep down she felt protected, almost enough to stay there. She started to remember what he said before he was a dragon and as he was a dragon and like he said, she was safe. He fully trusted her and she trusted him. She started to drive to her work, she thought about what she would say to him when she got home, maybe he'd be willing enough to show her again... and possibly eat her again.

#safe vore #soft vore #unwilling prey #unwilling vore #fearplay

19 notes · View notes

fallynleaf · 3 years ago

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writing asks 3,5, 9

3. Tell me about what’s next on your list for being completed?

i have several fics in varying states of completion. a few of the shorter ones are candidates for getting finished and published next february (my tradition is to finish and publish an old project every International Fanworks Day on february 15), but none of them are like. especially good or anything. they're just various projects i've had sitting around for years.

my longest WIP is a marauder-era Remus/Sirius fic that i started years ago. the draft is currently 50k words, and the remainder of the fic is extensively outlined, so i could easily pick it back up, if i wanted to. i haven't decided what exactly i'm going to do with it, or if it's worth finishing, at this point, considering, well, JKR. the fic was planned to be essentially a full novel of the marauders' last year in school, so there's probably at least 40k words of fic left to write in order to finish the story, but i know all of the main plot beats already. out of all the WIPs i have, this is the one that is closest to completion, but it might perpetually exist in that state forever. we'll see.

the fic i genuinely would love to complete is a modern AU of The Terror where the expedition is a doomed indie wrestling promotion instead. i have lots of concepts for this story, and i think i have the ability to actually pull it off, but unfortunately i came up with the concept for it right around when i started really committing to learning Japanese, and i've been too busy studying every day instead of writing much of anything 😅

as far as original fiction goes, i actually have a novel draft that is complete, but it’s a weird book because it’s technically a modern AU for an extremely public domain story, so i could publish it right now as a 50k fic if i wanted, or i could publish it as an original fiction novel, and i haven’t decided exactly what to do with it, so it’s just sitting in my hard drive.

5. Show me your favorite under-appreciated fic; why do you wish it got more attention?

Rabbit in Wolf's Clothing will probably forever be one of these, just by nature of the fandom. i wish it got more attention because i am very proud of it and put months of work into it, but it is cursed to only have a small handful of people interested in the premise. this is also my longest finished fic.

Comment by MrCrowley on AngelOfNazareth's post is another one. for some years, i referred to this fic as the funniest thing i'd ever written. this is another fic doomed to obscurity because of the relationship tag, which is not a relationship that any human being wants to seek out fic for. this fic isn't that long, but the few thousand words that are in it took me months to come up with, so it looks deceptively short. i'm proud of this fic because i think it plays with a whole bunch of themes in the show that other fics rarely touch in the same way.

9. Do you write linearly or skip around?

this is a tricky question! i generally write pretty linearly, but there are times that i write a little ahead. typically, i just write dialogue ahead (if i come up with some good dialogue for a scene way later in the story, i'll write it down early, because if i don't, i'll almost certainly forget it), but sometimes i'll start writing future dialogue lines and also come up with some description to accompany them.

any scene that i write in advance almost always has to be edited (sometimes substantially) in order to fit into the story once my writing gets to that point. i'm largely a discovery writer, so even when i outline stuff ahead of time, the story always takes some unexpected turns and ends up at least slightly different than i had envisioned. because of this, i can't do too much writing out of order, haha! i don't fully know the story i'm telling until i get there, basically.

#thx #phoradendron #fanfic #writing

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buddha-in-disguise · 5 years ago

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I'm not going to review the season finale in quite the same way as I've usually written something afterwards. I'm ultra tired due to distinct lack of sleep. So it is more truncated than I'd intended. Also unedited so advance apologies if something makes no sense or is misspelled etc.

The episode was facing the challenge of not only being edited after COVID-19 shut down production, but what was intended to be the penultimate episode became the finale. So I'm trying to take that into consideration.

First part in Kara's loft. It was choppy. Don't get me wrong, I had nothing against the humour, or the scenes in general. Although they missed the glaring opportunity to place a "flew here on a bus," moment! It felt pretty disappointing they didn't recognise what has become an iconic line within the SG fandom, and made it even more iconic.

Before the bus though, back at the loft, considering that Lena had literally only just arrived at Kara's, with all that entails, it felt completely out of place for that context. Did it have been overwhelming heavy at that point? Absolutely not. But it was too close to slapstick at times for me and internally I was cringing. I admit, I'm not sure where they could've put it in, but perhaps if they'd just lowered it a fraction, made it a little more subtle a couple of times, it would've helped for me.

Some of the dialogue (especially early on) was also all over the place for me. It did get better as the episode wore on, but I wonder how much was the need to redo parts of the episode because of COVID-19? Unless they think to put an episode as intended in a future season DVD (perhaps S6 DVD), or someone gives us full details via an interview we will probably never know.

Which brought me to one piece of dialogue that I wish they'd not put in at all!

In 5.18, as I've spoken about a lot on Twitter especially, the way Lex screams into Lena's face, and Lena's flinch, and how that had been me 20 odd years ago. They then had the line as Lena talks to Kara; "Go ahead. Scream at me if you have to, I know I deserve it."

I know for many, they'd just see it as a line to use, but .... for many of us who have suffered abuse, who recognised (& in some instances were triggered) by last weeks episode, to not have acknowledged why that line was so problematic is worrying. It heavily suggests they're not going to address Lena's trauma and abuse because they really don't understand it (& again, if anyone believes she didn't suffer trauma and abuse, but accept others in SG do, go away with your bias from my page), but considering they haven't addressed much of Kara's trauma, particularly watching Argo destroyed again, being stuck for months during Crisis like they were, etc - then I guess it isn't a surprise.

But it is uncomfortable as hell to watch a line like that glossed over.

Overall though, I did enjoy the episode. Once that 1st half was over, especially (baring a few moments, including watching Alex do her badass Mission Impossible meet Cirque du Soleil moment because that was awesome) it felt much more like SG of previous seasons. So that was great.

Watching Lena as she watched Alex and Kara hug behind her was so emotional. Watching siblings love unconditionally. Something she thought she had with Lex, only to realise he hadn't changed at all. Lena didn't need to say anything, as once again Katie's acting brought all the emotion Lena was feeling to the fore.

Having Lena and Alex mirror they choice of words in regards Kara was pretty iconic. Then having Alex whisper, "Jinx." really made it work.

Seeing Dreamer in her element, including some great lines again. "I can't believe you left to fight Earth, Wind & Fire without us." "Guess they didn't take the bait? Maybe you should've been meaner?" As they begin the fight with J'onn, M'gann Alex and Dreamer - Alex to Dreamer: "You ready?" Dreamer. "Nope." Alex. "Me neither." Dreamer at her best imo.

Kelly going all, damn my girlfriend is hot & I want sex right now despite the circumstances was pretty cute and funny.

The Kara and Lena monologues being in unison. Now that was pretty amazing and one of the best parts of the whole episode imo.. But again, you feel as if they're matching Lena and Kara together with those scenes as a couple.

Lena not only protecting Kara, but stopped Andrea from going down a dark path as Acrata. Was also great.

Last frame of Lillian. Does it turn out she is the head of Leviathan? Because again they laid out more than once the leader was a woman. It has been noted several times now in different episodes. I was hoping Lena's biological mother, considering she knew of the legend of Acrata, but it is now looking more likely this reincarnation of Lillian is who it is, unless it is a character we've not been introduced to, but I highly doubt that.

The 2nd half of the episode was what we missed so much this season. In fact aspects throughout the episode were missing for too much this season.

This includes the women being the focal point of it. Brainy though absolutely rightly taking a strong subplot to what else was going on. J'onn ably supported by M'gann. M'gann who managed to advise Nia on embracing her dreams and not trying to avoid part of them. Dansen actually working together and both being badass in their own way (after all, this is something I've advocated for much of the season, & while fantastic to see, it never should've taken this long. Now where have we heard that before?)

But we still have glaring unanswered questions that I can't imagine would've been answered in 5.20.

Every indication since 5.17 is Kelly knows Kara is Supergirl. Yet we don't know for certain, because they've failed to show us how or when. I've said before, considering every other person who knows Kara is Supergirl, we had them tripping over themselves to explain to the audience how it happened. I'm pretty annoyed that we as the audience don't get given the same courtesy with Kelly. This is why so many of us feel short changed on some characters this season. The really aggravating thing is would only take a few lines to clear it up!

Now onto Alex. This ties in with J'onn. Where are they getting the money to survive? Did J'onn manage to accumulate enough over all the years he was on Earth to finance everything & pay Alex a wage? No clue.

Also, are Kelly & Alex living together? Or do they have keys to each others apartments? Yes, Kelly was at Alex's in 5.17 so the answer is pretty much yes, but nothing has been said! We knew more about Brainy & Nia's living arrangements from 5a than we do Kelly & Alex.

Kara's trauma. Lena's abuse & trauma. See above.

Lastly, the one most I know want (except a few vocally against), leaning towards Supercorp becoming canon. Again for another season, we end up with the, 'Maybe they'll do it next season.' being said. Particularly as in 5a they really went all out on Supercorp parallels to Clois and at times Dansen, plus even a little on Brainia. But unless something pretty fundamental changes behind the scenes, they're going to recognise what their biggest draw is, keep baiting but never fully go into it. And that is what I fear the most. When you've got media, even non-Supergirl fans saying it, but the show refusing to acknowledge it - that could be their legacy, and it will not look good or have a lot of fans look back kindly on them for it.

The 4 seasons it took for Lena to find out Kara was Supergirl was, in the end, terribly executed. This waxing and waning as well of; is Lena good or bad? Will she follow in the Luthor footsteps?

She is flawed. She's made some pretty awful mistakes. But now they're said she is good. She isn't evil or a villain. So now that line they've drawn needs to stay there! No more ambiguity on her character being a villain.

But you know what's not good? Feeling you can't trust the show to draw a line under that aspect of the character. That doesn't mean you have to have any one of them not be flawed, or to even cross some lines (they've all done it at some point, some moreso than others, but not one character is innocent).

When the show is now generating that level of mistrust on how they could handle future events, that is a problem.

Season 5 overall (particularly 5b) was absolutely horrendously bad. It had some moments of sheer brilliance (either individual scenes, or some episodes), but the rest was just flat out awful. Irrelevant. Messy. No cohesion. 5b became too much of the Lex Luthor show. Certain character additions were vastly unpopular and definitely caused down turns in viewer numbers (& again, from far more than a section of fandom). As did keeping Lena away from everyone for so long.

To sum up. Season 5 was a disaster.

Season 6 needs to have considerably different direction to even try & pull back some viewers (if they can at all). Distrust is rife.

The worst is no-one in the cast deserved this, especially as they're so talented. Some of the performances, even with how poor much of the season was, have been magnificent. But as the saying goes, you can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear.

I've never been so relieved a season is finally over. We'll watch our favourite episodes for sure, of which there aren't many, but a full rewatch of the season we normally do will not be happening. Some episodes were better off consigned to the trash.

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hot-wiings · 5 years ago

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Comment If You'd Like To Be Added To The Taglist.

Edited: 5-5-20

Kai had his hand on your back as you walked together to the room where he would once again be meeting with the league of villains, however this time he wouldn't be meeting with their leader.

This time he wouldn't be meeting with the leader but rather some of the men that Shigaraki temporarily traded to Kai over whatever business they had excluded you from when they went to talk in private.

Kai led you back to the same couch with the same glass table. Not wanting to work Kai up, you quickly took your seat and kept your head hung low.

You were sure you looked as pathetic as you felt. All scared and polite. You were hugging yourself and made yourself look as small as possible. You were simply playing the game to survive.

You weren't sure why Kai even brought you to another business meeting, especially after he excluded you from parts of the last one. You were nearly positive that Kai was letting you out of the bedroom as a reward for the way he forced himself on you the previous night.

But no amount of rewards would make up for it. No amount of rewards could make up for the way he made you feel.

It wouldn't make up for the way you flinched when someone touched you. It wouldn't make up for the way you couldn't look people in the eyes.

It wouldn't make up for the way you felt so lonely, and naked under the gaze of everybody you passed. It wouldn't make up for the nagging voice in the back of your head that said you deserved it, that it would've been avoided if you loved him better.

You truly didn't know if you wanted to hate Kai for doing it, or if you wanted to hate yourself for not fighting him better.

Kai sat down next to you and you slightly flinched. You tried not to pull away from him, but you did. You raised your head and saw him look over at you, and the look in his eyes said it all. You shouldn't have flinched, you shouldn't have pulled away. You knew once the meeting was over you would be in trouble.

You lowered your head again and bit on your lip as the group of villains came into the room. They stood across from you and you stared at their shoes, too intimidated to meet their eyes.

The first pair of shoes were brown. They stopped above the ankle and the wearer had grey knee-high socks. The second person had ash-white shoes, they looked like they were leather or latex, you weren't sure. The last pair of shoes were a pair of combat boots.

You were sure the combat boots belonged to Dabi, the villain you met at the last meeting. Your lips slowly quipped into a smile. Kai could take everything. You freedom, your dignity, but he wouldn't have this.

Kai had yet to figure out how you destroyed the ties of your dress. He would never know that it was Dabi, a random man showing you an act of kindness. This was one thing you would always have, a secret Kai would never know. Despite the naked, violated feeling Kai gave you, you could find solace in the stapled mans smile.

"My name's Toga and I was told to come here. Hiya."

"Long time no see, birdman. Be warned, I'll never forgive you. So happy to be on the team!"

"Dabi."

Despite the second man's half peppy sentence, you could tell the group of villains weren't happy about being here. You wondered what it was Kai must have done to them to cause such anger, but it wasn't hard to guess.

"Wonderful. Sorry about the whole Magna thing. It's unfortunate, I didn't wanna kill him."

"You mean her."

"Don't make that mistake again."

You could tell Kai wasn't really remorseful, he was just playing nice with his new lackeys. If anything, he was remorseful because he had to get his hands dirty.

"Anyway, this is no time to be making grudges, we're on the same team now. I want your help with my plan."

"Bastard, you tried to play it cool the first time we met too, like you don't care about anything. So what are our orders?"

"Just follow what I tell everyone else in the organization. But first things first. I want the details of your quirks. It'll be easier for us to work together if I can fully understand what you do."

You couldn't help but let your eyes linger on Dabi's face. You knew you shouldn't stare, especially with your boyfriend next to you, but you couldn't find the will to care. The more you thought of Kai or anyone associated with him, you thought of the way he held you down. But when you looked at Dabi, you thought of the way he smited the ties off your dress. You thought of the way he helped you.

"I think I'll tell you about my powers when you need to know about them, and just so we're clear, I don't like you people."

"I agree with Toga, we'll tell you when we feel like it. Won't get anything outta me. No way. My lips are sealed."

"What is your quirk?"

Memento, using his quirk, forced the ash-colored villain to talk.

"I can make doubles of anything. I can make two doubles at a time. Huh, what just happened. It's like the words just tumbled out of my mouth."

"So much for my lips are sealed."

"What is your quirk."

"If I drink someone's blood I can turn into them. If I drink lots of blood I can turn into multiple people."

The girl, Toga, looked shocked that the information was pulled out of her. Memento turned his eyes to Dabi, ready to force him to pipe up with his own quit. However Dabi spits the information out willingly, he must have realized Memento had a quirk which could force his words.

"Cremation. I can create blue flames from my hands."

"One more thing. Did Shigaraki say anything about betraying me."

The three villains each say different variations of no in unison. You wondered if they were lying based on their body stance, but Dabi seemed calm. Although, you suspected you could kill someone in front of him and he would be calm. Something about the teal eyed villain gave you vibes that he was a chill guy.

"Alright then, I'll accept you as members of the Shie Hassaikai. You'll be part of my temp squad, except for you. Your staples are too attention-grabbing. I want you to stay inside the facility and watch her. Follow her around wherever she wants, just don't let her leave or see Eri."

Kai leaned down and whispered in your ear.

"See, good girls get rewards."

It wasn't a reward but a punishment. Punishment in the form of a reward. A punishment for flinching away from his touch. He knew this would kill you. The ability to roam around the base but not being allowed to see her, not even being allowed to break his rules because his dirty little worker would be watching you. It was going to kill you.

Kai got up from the couch and beckoned for Toga and Twice to follow him, leaving you and Dabi alone. Dabi sat down pulled his shoes up on the couch and you had to smile, Kai would so strongly disapprove of it. But as quickly as the smile came, it disappeared.

You hadn't noticed it at the time but Dabi was observing your expressions, just as he had been observing them when he first met you.

Dabi couldn't help but notice how you smiled at him, but this was a different kind of smile. This with the type of smile he remembered from his childhood. The kind of smile he remembered his mother showing people. He only hoped that the circumstances of your expression were different.

"Who's Eri?"

"Eri is my little sister."

"How come Kai said your not allowed to see her?"

"His whole operation revolves around her, and I don't really condone or support his actions."

Dabi gets off the couch he was sitting on and walks over to the one your on. He peered down at you and held his hand out for you to grab.

"I told your little boyfriend Shigaraki wasn't planning to betray him. That didn't include me betraying him. Let's go find your sister."

"Really?"

Your lips quipped up into a huge smile and Dabi looked away as his cheeks heated up. Your smile was so wide and bubbly, it was ethereal. There were only three people who smiled like that because of Dabi, but they were long gone from life. He liked the feeling he got when he made you smile, it reminded him of his childhood.

"Yeah. It'll be a secret between us."

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kinkyquirk · 6 years ago

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Dumb it down? Heck no! This is my first request and I'm doing this shit RIGHT. Hope you like it. 😁

------------------------------------------------------------------

Aizawa was late. As per usual.

Class was supposed to start 5 minutes ago and Iida had been dutifully instructing students to get to their desks, encouraging them to remain seated when they became fidgety in the continued absence of their teacher.

You eyes darted between the door and the boy sitting in front of you, trying to decide if you could spend a little time with your freckled boyfriend before class started. Just as you had made up your mind - the class slowly begining to murmur amongst themselves - he turned in his seat, smiling back at you with that innocent grin you adored, "Well, looks like we'll be waiting a while."

Ugh, he was just so cute. When he had accepted your feelings a few weeks ago, you had been over the moon. You had fully expected him to turn you down because he was so busy training hard to become the number one hero. And sure, you and him didn't spend as much time together as the average couple, but you were okay with that. Studying together and the very occasional date was all you needed as long as he was with you.

You were smiling back instantly, leaning you head on your hand, "Looks like it."

A rosy hue dusted his cheeks suddenly, his fingers fiddling together on top of the back of his chair, "You, uh...you look especially beautiful today..," he mumbled softly.

OH GOSH, YOUR HEART.

You couldn't help the blush that sprung up on your cheeks at the unexpected compliment, smile brightening, "Why thank you my especially handsome boyfriend," you fired back, relishing in the way the entirety of his face and neck became as red as Kirishima's hair. He was just so easy to fluster!

He tried his best to compose himself, clearing his throat and ruffling his already unruly hair, "I-handsome is a-," but he stopped, remembering your talk with him about accepting your compliments and to have more confidence in himself, "uhm, th-thank you."

His smile began to fade then, and, in turn, yours dropped off your face in worry. Izuku was known to over think things and cause himself grief over problems that weren't as big as he thought they were, but this expression was different. Something was really eating at him this time.

"Izuku?" You questioned, leaning forward to get a better look at him.

He met your eyes and gave a small, forced smile, "It's just...," he began, sighing and slumping slightly in defeat. Panic spiked through you for a moment, afraid you had done something to upset him. He reached forward, gently taking your hand in his own scarred one and rubbed your knuckles with his thumb, effectively ending your worries and sending a completely different spike through you, "You're such a wonderful girlfriend and I...I don't treat you the way you deserve to be treated."

It was very possible that this boy would give you a heart attack sometime during this relationship.

You sighed in relief, "That's what's bothering you? Izuku, I don't need anything special-" you began, but he cut you off with a shake of his head.

"But you deserve it!" He stressed, squeezing your hand softly, "You deserve to be taken on nice dates and to have so much more of my attention. I should be showing you how much I cherish you and instead I'm just...treating you like an afterthought..."

Well, you hadn't seen this coming. You supposed if the roles were reversed, that would feel like a lot of weight on your shoulders. It upset you that something like this had been burdening him and for a moment wondered...if you should have kept your feelings to yourself. You had just complicated things for him.

"Do you think of me as an afterthought?" you asked, prepared to prove to him that he was anything but neglectful.

He jumped at the question, eyes wide, "No! Of course not!" he assured, "I can't get you out of my mind!"

The classroom went silent.

You were sure the both of you were the same, glowing red color.

"Lady troubles, Deku?" Denki chortled, followed closely by the familiar sound of Jiro smacking him with her ear jacks. Uraraka suddenly and conveiniently remembered a funny story and began ethusiastically regaling the classroom of her scuffle with a pizza box and squid mascot. Bless her.

You fanned your cheeks, attempting to cool the flames beneath them while Izuku took his own time calm himself.

"Sorry, I-" he began, but you cut him off this time, shaking your head with a sympathetic smile, "No, I'm sorry. I should know by now how you'd react to a question like that."

"I meant it, though."

You looked up, surprised to see him watching you with a determined intensity that you're a bit embarrassed to say nearly had you fainting in your chair. He pressed onward, "You're always on my mind. From the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep. And sometimes when I dream."

Okay, now that was bordering on cheesy, but it sent your heart fluttering uncontrollably in your chest.

He grabbed his backpack, rummaging through it for a moment and hesitating a moment before pulling out what he was looking for, "I was going to wait until lunch to give this to you, but...now seems better," He smiled, "I know it doesn't make up for all the time we should be spending together, but-"

You almost screamed at the box in his hand, hardly believing what you were looking at, "IS THAT THE ULTRA RARE SUPER LIMITED EDITION AMERICAN SOLDIER ALL MIGHT ACTION FIGURE? MINT IN THE BOX?"

At this point, you didn't care if you had once again drawn the attention of the entire class. This was a unicorn in the wild. A collectable that you were certain you would never see anywhere other than on your computer screen.

If there was one thing you and Izuku had in common, it was your love for the number one hero, All Might.

Izuku was quick to join in your excitement, "EXACTLY! I KNEW YOU'D RECOGNIZE IT! ONLY FIFTY OF THESE WERE EVER MADE!"

"I THOUGHT THESE HAD ONLY BEEN GIFTED TO AMERICAN POLITICIANS DURING THE INTERNATIONAL HERO TREATY OF 2002?"

"THEY WERE! 12 POLITICIANS WHO VOTED AGAINST THE TREATY SOLD OR TOSSED THEM AND MY MOM'S FRIEND FROM WORK KNEW A GUY THAT-"

Your smile fell as you listened to the story of how he had ended up with such a priceless item and realized...you couldn't accept this. No matter how much you loved All Might, you couldn't take this from Izuku.

"-what's wrong?" he looked crestfallen at your sudden loss of enthusiasm.

"Izuku, I couldn't possibly accept something like this," you shook your head sadly, "It's worth way too much."

"But, I want you to have it!" He insisted, holding it out to you earnestly, "It's okay, I have lots of rare All Might merch!"

You gently pushed it back towards him, shaking your head once again, "I know, but this is just-"

"Then keep it safe for me," he compromised, taking your hands and holding them to the box. God, his hands. You loved how they felt on yours. So strong and warm.

He leaned forward, and - to your shock - placed a soft kiss to your fingers. Your heart did maybe 15 flips. His smile had the smallest hint of mischief in it when he pulled back, "I'm counting on you."

The very next instant, you had your arms around him. The noise you made was, in retrospect, pretty embarrassing as you crushed him to you, bouncing happily. Now that was a compromise you could deal with. And that sneaky little smile peppered with those adorable freckles? GOD HE WAS JUST TOO MUCH!

"MIDORIYA!"

The scandalized voices of Denki and Mineta reverberated around the room, bringing you to a startled halt. There was a dark aura radiating off the two of them as they glared at the boy in your arms.

That was when you noticed the reddened faces of your classmates...and the...warmth between your...

Izuku's face was consumed. Disappeared to the ears -which were positively cherry - between your breasts. You had never pulled away from an embrace so quickly.

"YOU ALREADY GET TO DATE THE GIRL WITH ONE OF THE BEST RACKS IN CLASS! YOU GOT SOME NERVE RUBBING OUR NOSES IN IT LIKE THAT!" Mineta screeched, eyes completely white as blood spewed from his nostrils.

And then they were face down on the classroom floor, Tsuyu and Jiro standing over their battered forms. You hardly noticed their beatings, wide eyes gauging your boyfriend's own shocked expression.

The corner of his lip twitched.

Was he-

Aizawa chose then to enter the room, nonchalant as he made his way to the front of the class, scratching his cheek, "Sorry. I overslept."

You quickly - though carefully - placed the action figure in your bag while the class settled down, taking seats and facing forward. Your face was still burning to ashes, eyes unable to stray more than a minute from Izuku's trembling shoulders when he sent small wad of paper over his shoulder and onto your desk.

Sure that Aizawa wasn't looking, you opened it.

Steam hissed from the collar of your shirt.

Don't be too embarrassed. I liked it. A lot.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Class 1-A's thoughts:

Aoyama: Such an intimate display in such a public place! How very avant-garde. *twinkles*

Bakugo: What the hell? What is this, some kind of porno? Get a fucking room! *blushing slightly, but mostly pissed off*

Hagakure: What is Y/N doing?! We're in class! * *

Iida: THAT IS HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE! SCHOOL RULES SPECIFICALLY STATE THAT PDA IS PROHIBITED ON SCHOOL GROUNDS! NO MATTER HOW SOFT AND FRAGRANT HER BREASTS MUST BE, THIS IS- WAIT NO I-! *red and denying his last thought even happened*

Jiro: Holy shit. Get it, Y/N. *unimpressed, but supportive*

Kaminari: No way! She's-! SHE'S-!

Kirishima: Whoa, are they for real?! Do they even know everyone is looking at them? Man, Midoriya, you're full of surprises. *is shocked and blushes*

Koda: Oh, gosh! That's so naughty! *hides his face in his hands*

Mina: Whoa-ho! He's been devoured! *wide eyed and covers her mouth*

Mineta: TH-THE LEGENDARY MOTORBOAT! AND BY THE GIRL WITH THE SECOND BIGGEST RACK IN CLASS? MIDORIYA!!!

Momo: Oh, wow! I've heard about this courting ritual! But it seems a bit inappropriate to be carried out in class... *blushes and looks away*

Ojiro: What the-! Geez...my heart can't take much more of this... *blushes, looks away and sighs*

Sato: *sato.exe has stopped working*

Sero: IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING? HE'S NOT EVEN TRYING TO STOP HER! LUCKY!

Shoji: *shocked; his mind genuinely goes blank*

Todoroki: What is...she doing? *is genuinely confused*

Tokoyami: Er...hm. Those two are always so loud. *a little flustered, but mostly unimpressed*

Tsuyu: Y/N is a lot more bold than I thought. *blushes a little, but expression stays the same*

Uraraka: B-BOOBS! *red and shellshocked*

#izuku midoriya #izuku midoriya x reader #bnha imagine #bnha x reader #poppy prattles #otaku-explosion

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