#this stupid phone doesn't even have a way to hide apps i still don't know if i should delete or download a new launcher or what

[taeyongdoyoung]

beg for you

summary: missing your ex, you stumble upon an interesting song that brings back memories you thought you could bottle up... pairing: vernon x reader genre: angst, smut, exes to online friends to lovers warnings: mentions of past break-up, reader felt neglected and lonely, insecurities, lowkey catfishing+lie by omission, swearing, song-writing themes, some serious talks, hand-holding, kissing, spitting, eating out, fingering, dom!vernon, orgasm denial, public unprotected sex (in a café bathroom), mainly lots of emotions, idk author's note: the fic was inspired by this iconic song, in particular vernon's verse and it has some occasional references to the lyrics in bold word count: 2.6k

It's been three months since you ended things with Vernon, blocked his number and all his socials and tried your best to forget about him. The reason for your break-up was mainly because you felt like he never had time for you, his music always came first and while that was appealing at the start of your relationship, it began to infuriate you and make you feel invisible towards its end. He would stand you up and forget about your dates more than once. He would make you feel like you were always his second choice. Not being around him hurts like hell, because you'd become so used to his presence that the lack of it brings so much emptiness. And also because a part of you still loves him.

One evening, you can't fall asleep so you're scrolling through some music apps. Suddenly you discover a new song. The artist hides their face behind a mask but their voice sounds somewhat familiar. Strangely enough, the lyrics just speak to you:

I don't think I'll ever feel this type of way again (This way again; Yеah, uh, yeah) I beg for you, please (Don't let go), don't let go of me, don't let go of me All the endless conversations about us been going on in our head In the night, we dream a future together and I feel bad in your bed I beg for you, please stay, I can't go a day without No, I can't go a day without you, hoo

So weird. It's like the artist knows exactly what's been on your mind for the past three months. You shut your phone off with a sigh and attempt to get some sleep. The next day, that same melody and those words haunt you. And the following day…It goes on for a while and you've become so obsessed with it that you try to do some research on the artist. Unfortunately, it's not of much help. Nobody knows the identity of the artist, how they look or their real name. It's frustrating but it is what it is. Maybe you should drop it. But then again…you really can't stop thinking about these fucking lyrics and how well they described how you've been feeling.

You decide to do something stupid and slide into the DMs of the anonymous artist. They'll probably never see this message as they have thousands of followers, but still, you need to get this off your chest somehow.

You: Hi, you probably get this a lot but your lyrics are really relatable, like they truly spoke to me and totally represent the way I've been feeling for the past three months. You're incredibly talented and I'd be happy to hear more of your music in the future.

It's a short message, nothing too crazy. You feel a sense of relief once you've sent it. You realize it doesn't matter if the artist ever sees it. You're just happy you were able to express your feelings.

To your immense shock, about 30 minutes later, you receive a notification. This is actually so insane you can't believe your eyes. The anonymous artist…texted you back?!

RevN98: Hi, this really means a lot to me. Actually, I don't get a lot of feedback, as I'm just starting out. I'll try my best to write more music. In what ways did you relate to the lyrics?

Is he seriously…initiating a discussion? It is wild enough he texted you back but the fact he wants to continue texting baffles you. But you are not one to look at a gift horse in the mouth. So, you respond rightaway.

You: I got out of a long-term relationship a couple of months ago and even though I should probably move on already, some part of me wishes my ex begged for me to stay. I know it's probably a selfish thought, considering I'm the one who broke up with the guy, but…I miss him sometimes and I keep thinking of a universe in which he'd fought for me.

After sending that message, you look at it in horror as you realize how personal it was. Why is it so easy to open up to a complete stranger? And not to people who actually know you…

You: Sorry, that was probably a whole bunch of TMI. Anyways, I really thought your lyrics were connected to how I was feeling if that makes sense.

You double text just in case. The response from the mysterious artist comes soon after.

RevN98: It makes sense, yeah. When I was writing them, I was also thinking about my past relationship. Honestly, I kind of wish I'd begged my ex to stay. I thought that by not doing so, I was respecting her wishes and giving her space. But now that it's been a while, I can't help but think I should have expressed myself better. I really miss her, though, so I guess that got reflected in the lyrics somehow.

You take a moment to gather your thoughts and figure out what to text.

You: Aw, man. Whoever your ex is, she's lucky to have such lyrics written about her. Even if it's over, maybe there's a way she finds your music and…I don't know, reconsiders things?

RevN98: Hah, that'd be a dream come true. I don't think she likes the kind of music I make.

You: Why not? Your music is great!

RevN98: Well, the truth is I was spending more time on my music than time with her. So, I guess that's one of the reasons for our break-up.

My God. This feels…too similar to your situation it gives you goosebumps. Despite that, it's like your fingers are possessed as they keep itching to text the anonymous artist back.

You: Time changes the way people feel. Maybe if you're honest with her and how you're feeling, there's a chance for a reconciliation. Or at least some closer. You should call her!

RevN98: I'd love that but she's blocked my number.

You: Use a friend's phone, duh!

RevN98: That'd be suspicious, considering I haven't told any of my friends about our break-up.

You: Dang…you're really not over this girl, huh?

RevN98: Not a chance.

You: So…what are you going to do?

RevN98: I don't know, for the time being texting you helps to ease the pain.

You: Likewise. But just to give you a heads-up, I'm not interested in any rebound relationship.

RevN98: Great. I'm not interested in that, either.

You: So…online buddies, then?

RevN98: Sounds good to me.

It is so strange how quickly the mysterious artist becomes part of your everyday life. You text each other quite often about anything. From what you've had for breakfast to what other music you've been listening to. From where you're planning to go with your friends to…how much you miss your exes. It is truly extraordinarily easy to talk to them. You still don't know much. How they look, what their real name is, where they live…But somehow it's enough knowing they're out there making awesome and relatable music.

Until one day it isn't.

You: We should meet up!

RevN98: I don't think that is a good idea…My schedule's crazy lately.

You: What do you mean? It's not like you have live performances.

You point out the obvious because from what you've gathered, maintaining this anonymity is key to RevN98.

RevN98: I just don't feel comfortable meeting in person…

You: Are you worried I'd expose your identity? You know I'm not that kind of person, right?

RevN98: I'm not worried about that. It's hard to explain. It would make sense if we met up, which is exactly why we can't meet up.

You: I'm super confused right now. But you know how important honesty is to me. So, it's now or never, I guess. If you don't want to meet up in the near future, I don't think I want to continue being friends…

You wait a couple of minutes, to give them a chance to make a decision. Finally, the response comes.

RevN98: Okay, let's meet up.

They text you a time and place. And then you ask the crucial question.

You: How will I know it's you?

RevN98: Trust me, you'll know.

This is…so cryptic. You guess you'll just have to rely on the fact that there are a bunch of photos of you on your profile, so the musician would be able to recognize you first.

When you arrive at the small café, you look around nervously, waiting. Negative thoughts keep haunting your mind. What if they change their mind in the last minute and stand you up? What if they are disappointed upon meeting you and never want to text you again? What if you were too harsh by giving an ultimatum? What if-

So many scenarios and you failed to consider the one that truly matters.

What if…you run into your ex at said café? What are the fucking odds?!

"What are you doing here?" you ask Vernon, sounding a bit too rude. Better to be rude than to burst into tears or something more embarrassing.

"Waiting for you," Vernon replies simply.

"What are you talking about?" you blink in confusion. Until it clicks…No. Freaking. Way.

Vernon sighs and takes his phone out, showing you the texts between you and RevN98. And the only explanation is…fucking hell. He is RevN98.

"Please, tell me you're joking right now."

"I wish I was," Vernon looks down, feeling guilty.

"How could you do this to me?" you inquire, eyes welling up already. You feel so weak upon seeing him.

"What was I supposed to do? You had me blocked on everything."

"What, and writing me a song under a false name sounded like the greatest idea?" you snap at him.

"I just needed to talk to you again. Somehow."

"Why? What is there to say?"

"I miss you," Vernon murmurs.

"You lied to me," you insist stubbornly.

"Please come back to me," he keeps trying.

"It's too late…" you try to reject him gently.

"I'm begging you," Vernon really wants a second chance.

You shake your head, but your hands are already reaching for his. Desperate to hold them one more time, you lean closer.

"I'm not taking you back," you keep fighting it.

"Okay," he nods.

"We're just…gonna talk, yeah? Seems a waste of my great outfit to go back home."

"Okay," Vernon repeatss.

As the two of you sit down to have a chat, suddenly all of the unsaid words and undelivered messages bubble up to the surface.

"I should have fought for you. I mean it. Music is important to me but not as much as you. You are my muse, how could I go another day without you?"

"It seems you've been doing a great job writing music without me," you say bitterly.

"Oh, yeah?" Vernon raises his eyebrows cockily. "Well, I bet I can write even better if you're back in my life."

"I was too harsh," you admit. "I let my overthinking and insecurities get the worst of me. When I broke up with you, it seems I had forgotten how much I love music, too. I was so caught up in my own dark thoughts that I didn't matter to you that things escalated."

"You had a point," Vernon chuckles sadly. "I wasn't giving you the attention you needed. The attention you deserve. I was being selfish."

"I was selfish, too," you confess. "I shouldn't have made you feel like you needed to make a choice between me and music."

"I would pick you. For the record."

"Record is exactly what you'll be making," you tease him. "I'm serious. I need to hear more of what you've been working on."

"I'd love to show you. But there's something else I'd like to do first," Vernon smirks mischievously.

He grabs your hand and takes you to the café's bathroom. He pushes you inside a free booth and locks the door behind him. He kisses you under the bathroom lights eagerly, not wanting to let go ever again.

"Hey!" you chide him playfully. "I said I wasn't taking you back."

"Too bad. 'Cause I'm taking you," Vernon says assertively.

"You…you've changed," you blink in surprise.

"I'll take that as a compliment," Vernon smiles and his palms dig into your lower back deliciously, as he kisses you again. "God, I missed this taste."

"You're insane," you laugh but you can't find it in you to deny it any longer. You want him so bad.

"Don't let go of me," he repeats the song's lyrics in your ear.

"I won't. As long as you promise the same," you ask.

Vernon doesn't say a word as he kneels in front of you. He picks up one of your legs and swings it over his shoulder as pulls your panties to the side. Suddenly, you're so grateful for your genius decision to wear a dress. He spits on your pussy and attacks your folds with his skilled tongue. You're already losing your mind over how good it feels, when suddenly, he pulls back.

You gasp in disappointment as your pleasure was so abruptly interrupted.

"Beg me," Vernon commands you easily. "Beg me to make you come."

"You're fucking insane," you refuse. You've always had a little bit of a brat in you.

Vernon, however, doesn't seem perturbed by your refusal to cooperate and sticks one finger inside you, teasing you slow enough to frustrate you but not fast enough to get you there. It hurts so sweetly you both hate and love it.

"Beg me," he repeats.

It would be so easy to do that. Just to get that sweet release…But the stubborn part of you is still stronger than the part of you that wants to come.

''Try harder," you grin cruelly.

Vernon is not one to back down from a challenge and unleashes his final weapon. He takes off his jeans and slides his hard cock inside you. Fuck. You'd forgotten how girthy he is.

"I missed you so much," he whispers in your ear. And his genuine words affect you more than his actions. And oh, how terribly you've missed him, too.

You hold on to the back of his neck, needing him for support. He keeps tormenting you, not moving a lot, just making you feel so full but so dissatisfied at the same time. You truly can't take it anymore.

"P-please, let me c-come," you beg for him hopelessly.

"There's my good girl," Vernon smiles proudly and adjusts his movements, adding pressure with his fingers so that you come in mere seconds.

"T-thank you, thank you," you chant, not knowing what demon possessed you to act this way.

"So polite," he laughs adorably and holds you close as he reaches his own high.

You don't want to let go of him ever again. But you're gonna have to, because you hear angry people who want to use the bathroom. Uh-oh.

You quickly try to clean each other up and rush outside, cheeks red with embarrassment.

You get a few weird looks from random people, but honestly, it doesn't matter. This felt too good.

"Sooo…" Vernon says once you've arrived at his chill but cozy apartment. "Does this mean you'll take me back?"

"Hmm, I don't know. Beg me nicely?" you suggest teasingly.

"Oh, you know I will," Vernon promises.

Bonus:

"Veeern, it's been hours, didn't you finish the song already?" you complain, desperate for his attention.

"Just five-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence," you warn him, though you don't really mean it. You're just playing around. You know he cares about you deeply. Perhaps more deeply that he lets on.

"Won't you wait another hour or two?" Vernon teases you back.

"You know what? I'd wait as long as it takes," you smile and put your lips on his lips.

The End

[girlivealwaysbean]

should I not wish my bestfriend even tho im awake

[crsssie]

couple tiktoks with the robins

Word count: ~ 700

Summary: cheesy tiktok trends with the robins :3

𓅫. "Heard you're looking for a boyfriend" - Tim Drake

"'kay, just," you show Tim the tiktok, fingers laced together, practically begging him to do the tiktok with you. Tim grimaces, but it's minimal effort, so he listens. He stands to the side as the audio plays from your shared airpods, waiting for you to move the camera to the side. He hates to admit it, but as he steps next to you to lean on the mirror, raising a brow with a mask on and your eyes light up, his breath catches in his throat. You're always so pretty— too pretty. You're always so pretty. And god, if doing couple trends meant that you'd stare at him like that, then he'd do all of them with you. (Though, he has to make sure none of his friends finds out about them. The embarrassment would eat him alive) Tim waits for you to stop recording, the noise going off in his ear as he steps next to you, staring at the tiktok. He looks just as lovesick as you. "Aww, you're supposed to look a little intimidating." You mumble quietly. "You're looking at me too cheesily" "You look too excited too." Tim sticks his tongue out at you, pointing at the way your pupils were blown wide. "Maybe we're both just lovesick fools." Tim doesn't see a problem with that.

𓅫. "she is the best thing that's ever been mine" - Jason Todd

"I know this is a trend for sapphics but please please please PLEASE—" You beg. "The only photos I'd be able to put are the ugly ones of you." Jason rolls his eyes. "No." "But you have a whole album of—" "No." You pout, jutting out your bottom lip at Jason as he wavers slightly. He doesn't even have capcut downloaded. He doesn't want to download it. It's just a silly tiktok trend, and sure you're obsessed with showing him off on your private social media, but there was no way he was posting you on his accounts. You grumble, going back to scrolling through your phone, typing on it, and Jason assumes that you're complaining to your friends about how he won't do the trend. He goes back to his own phone, putting his airpod back on, a video playing. You could complain all you want— He wasn't doing it. Yet, the recently deleted app on his phone and the newly downloaded video on his hidden album suggest anything but. Stupid. It's in his drafts. (Not that he'd tell you.)

𓅫. "Oh, I can't stop singing" - Damian Wayne

"Stay still." You set your phone on the table as you squish onto Damian's lap, and he raises a brow at you, setting his pencil down. He notices your phone recording, and you pull out your lipstick. Damian pauses. He knows this audio. He's pretty sure one of his classmates was showing him it a while ago. You draw half a heart onto your cheek, pressing your cheek to his affectionately, warmth pressed to Damian's cheeks, leaving the mark of a heart... no you drew the half the wrong way. You pause, the mistake registering in your head as the audio continues playing. "Habibbti, I don't think—" You burst into laughter at the accident, hiding your face in his collar, kicking your legs in embarrassment. Damian purses his lips in amusement with you, running his hand down your back soothingly while shaking slightly. That was funny. "Sorry for messing up and making you pause." You stop laughing after a while. Damian smiles, shaking his head, reaching for a wet wipe on his desk. "Would you like to try again?" Who are you to say no?

𓅫. "stay with me, I don't want you to leave" -Dick Grayson

"Okay, so—" "I'm in." Dick gives you two thumbs up. "I recognize this audio." "I really can't surprise you with any couple trend, huh?" You laugh. "Sweetheart, I'm on Tiktok more than you." Dick smiles, handing you your lipstick. You pout, taking it anyway, peppering Dick's face with kisses before the lipstick dries, smudging some of the kisses, letting the others look fine on their own on others. Dick presses kisses back to your skin while you reapply the lipstick, some of the red on his lips getting on yours, causing you to pout. He was getting you red too. You finish, eventually. (Dick's face is practically a red mess from both you and the lipstick) You step to the side to wipe the lipstick he got onto your face, setting up your phone and starting the tiktok. Dick stares at you the whole time, eyes gentle, sick with an affection reserved for only you, lips pulled into a foolish smile. You pout when you ruin your lipstick, only for Dick to reach for your chin, the phone panning to his face, a mess of red on his face, a stupid smile on his face, eyes crinkled, holding all of the love in the world for you and only you. (and god do you melt at the sight)

[jungwnies]

partners ✰ 3 god, i hate you!

masterlist | next

"i should've called bullshit the moment i saw those 'jake being the sweetest idol' compilations on youtube." you say opening a drawer that revealed a poem.

"just because i'm not nice to you doesn't mean i'm rude to everyone else." jake laughs reading the poem besides you.

"you know when i heard i was mc-ing with you i did my research because i was so excited to interact with someone who i thought would be an absolutely sweetheart." you laugh, "instead i got you."

"it's not bullshit, you just happened to get the short end of the stick." jake tells you, putting the pieces of the poem together to solve something. "we could've grown to like each other if you just held your anger in and waited for me to warm up to you."

"oh so now i'm temperamental?" you argue stepping closer to him. "you're going to call me temperamental even when you're the root of my anger?"

"it's not that deep y/n, just suck it in." jake tells you rolling his eyes, "can you pass me that?"

you take a deep breath and walk away, "i'm out of here, i can do with no phone if it means i get to leave."

you go back to the entrance and exit the escape room making your way back to the van. "stupid, entitled, rude ass mother-" you begin before the vibration of your phone ringing in your pocket distracts you.

"hello?" you answer after clicking the green button to pick up.

"go back inside y/n." your manager tells you on the other end of the line.

you look at your manager inside the van who shows nothing but anger on his face. it's almost as if there are flames in his eyes and smoke is coming out of his ears.

you storm back inside the escape room to see jake still solving the puzzles, "look who's back, i guess you really can't live without your phone."

"jake, i'm going to give you 30 seconds to shut the fuck up because if you don't, i might end up in jail." you tell him, shoving him off the chair.

the two of you manage to work quietly and escape the room even though you left him alone in there a while ago.

"so, do we ever have to do this ever again?" you ask your manager as you leave the escape room.

"you guys are going to hang out every friday after music bank until the resentment for each other is completely gone." his manager tells you guys as he pulls out of the parking lot.

"hell no." jake barks angrily. "i am not wasting any more of my time just to hang out with her."

"what makes you think i would want to waste my time on someone like you either?" you argue, ready to rip each other's heads off.

"what are you guys? five?" your manager asks annoyed, "grow up and start treating each other with respect. people have eyes everywhere and one day you will not be able to hide how much you guys hate each other resulting in the downfall of not only you guys, but your groups as well."

the two of you look at each other and roll your eyes. "this is your fault." you mouth to the boy.

you open twitter on your phone to be greeted by fan edits of jake and you which makes you sick to your stomach resulting in you putting down your phone after exiting out the app. they might as well take away your phone if all you're going to see is edits of you and some guy you really, really hate.

eventually you reach your dorm and thank jake's manager for driving you back. the moment you step into the dorm the rest of the girls are in the living room watching something on the tv screen.

a member stands up and walks to you, "where've you been?" miya asks as you take off your jacket and hang it up.

"i'm being forced to hang out with jake every friday after music bank." you tell her as you now take off your shoes.

"it shouldn't be too bad, he's nice isn't he?" she asks, walking with you to the kitchen.

you put your cup against the fridge as water fills it up, you take a sip and look back at miya, "yeah sure, he's sweetheart." you lie. "i just would rather come straight back and relax, you know?"

miya nods, "i would prefer to come straight home too, at least he's not overbearing though."

though you wanted to laugh and tell her how wrong she was about him, you knew that keeping your relationship with him under wraps would be the safest route.

word count: 798 thanks for reading! 🩷

taglist: @whois-alexis , @hanienie , @reikofruitloops , @baldi-2 , @yelleloww , @aetzensvct , @moonshoon , @kimipxl , @shinsou-rii , @giraffeass , @ghostiiess , @ohbeomgyu [open - bolded could not be tagged]

2022 © jungwnies

[aneenasevla]

Red Velvet - Chapter 4

MasterList / Akane’s profile / Last chapter here

Art by @aneenasevla

Chapter 4 - The Panther Pounces

"Wow, would you look at that! For someone who was constantly complaining about making an Instagram account, you got addicted pretty quickly."

"Get lost, Kaneda. It's not an addiction," Rihito snorts, his eyes fixed on his phone as he scrolls through the app's feed. He stops at a specific video, a song with a powerful beat making itself heard. And then he smiles without any shame. "It’s an investment. My the gods be blessed..."

"Are you seriously watching a video of a woman shaking her ass in the middle of the table? What are your airpods for then, you jerk?," Himuro complains, to which Rihito rolls his eyes and puts away his cell phone.

"Okay, okay, I'll stop. You guys are so fucking annoying! You made me create a profile and now I can't even use it the way I want..."

They were at that moment having lunch at The Heavy Bakery, enjoying that slow start to the afternoon before heading out to the gym. It was still rush hour, so the girls hadn't joined them at the table. Which was good, because they'd probably also complain about the specific content preference he'd developed as Instagram's newest user.

"He was like a child thinking he was drowning in shallow water," Okubo suppressed his laughter, hiding his chocolate smeared mouth behind his hand. "After he saw that it wasn't that bad, he started acting as if nothing had happened and shit..."

"Shut up! I still think this is a social network for sissies," He grumbles, looking away. "I just tried to put the content that really interests me in my feed."

"Speaking of which, I don’t think any of us have followed you yet," Kaneda comments, already pulling out his phone, to which Himuro grumbles, "Kaneda, do you really want to receive the nonsense he shares in your feed? I would think twice."

"Yeah, me too. If push comes to shove, we know each other's DMs and that's enough," Okubo shrugs. "Oh yeah, speaking of DMs, what about your friend there? It's been almost a week, and you're still stalling. You were talking so well about that chick, and now you're all quiet... have you given up or something?"

Rihito gives him an annoyed look, pouting, "Don't rush me, damn it!"

"Wow, this is bringing back some memories," Kaneda comments, to which Himuro laughs softly.

"I know, right! They just reversed the roles! But seriously, what exactly is stopping you from texting that girl? Are you scared of being rejected?"

"Fuck no!," He growls, indignant. "She loved it, okay? So much so that she wanted to do it all night and again early in the morning! How the hell would I get rejected after that?"

"She might have gotten tired too," Okubo teases, smiling mischievously. "Especially because you didn't message her, so she might have thought you didn't want that friendship with benefits..."

This makes him freeze in place, the smug anger giving way to astonishment and a sudden barely contained fear.

"W-Wait, do you really think so? But she looked so self-assured. At least that was the impression I had..."

"Man, it's precisely because she's so self-assured that she could have interpreted your silence of almost a week as disinterest and moved on," Himuro shakes his head. "Just like you said a few days ago, about Miss Akiyama, remember? 'If he doesn't want me, there are others who do'.”

Rihito stares at the screen of his phone, grinding his teeth a little.

"Argh, man, that's so stupid! Why do even uncommitted relationships need to have all this bureaucracy? Can't we just fuck and be happy about that?"

"You can," Okubo nods. "But you're the one who talked about wanting an encore at the bar. So, like Himuro said, she's being self-assured and letting go. Maybe if she sees you on the street she'll give you the cold shoulder, you know... or maybe not. Maybe she just wanted one night stand and doesn't want to do it again, since she, like you, probably doesn't want any 'swaps', ahahaha…"

"You're so full of shit," Rihito stares at Okubo with the anger of someone who wanted to be able to incinerate him with just a look. "You barely got yourself a girlfriend and already became the patron of equality between the sexes, right? I've got your number, bowling-ball head! You were as much a dog as me!"

"People change when they are willing to," Kaneda comments calmly. "Okubo decided to improve for his girl, and here we are."

"And he didn’t stop being a dog. It's just that now he barks at a single tree," Himuro jokes with a scathing smile.

"At least I have a tree of my own now. What about you, you godamn forester?," Okubo replies while laughing.

"As the name suggests, I have an entire forest from which I can choose, when or if I decide to," Himuro shrugs calmly, still smiling mischievously, while Kaneda laughs softly. Rihito grunts and drops into the chair, throwing his head back.

"Okay, okay... what do you suggest then? Should I send the message now?"

"If not now, when will it be? Seriously, this is bringing back memories that I had hoped to bury," Kaneda comments again. "The difference is that, in your case, only the physical part interests you."

"Humph. Obviously. I said that day, I don't fall in love. Period," He straightens up in the chair, looking more determined. "Alright then... here goes nothing."

…

Akane stretches on her chair. Slow days at work were the worst. She was looking at her Instagram, seeing if there was any interesting news from anyone other than her ex-Gyaru friends who had betrayed the cause to become the well-behaved housewives they hated so much and swore they wouldn't become. It seemed childish on her part, but she was one of the few women she knew who saw that as a lifestyle, and even though she was close to thirty, she was too immersed in that world to “break out of that phase” and become something new. It wasn't a phase, after all. It would be like taking the skin off a panther, and the panther would be left without parts of what made her, well, her.

That's what she was, after all. Could such an animal be tamed, stopping using its claws? Yes, one day, but will it stop being fierce and dangerous? Never.

It is during these conjectures that she hears the characteristic Instagram notification sound. Someone was sending her a message. Since her work day was moving at a snail's pace, it wouldn't be so much of a problem to check her phone in the middle of it, so that's what she did, thinking that maybe she could kill her boredom.

The message was from a profile she had never seen before. The strangeness only lasted a second, however, when she saw the user's name. @lih.ito.

heya, ma'am

miss me already? haha

She smiles immensely. Well, well, well, guess who won the waiting game... she decided to answer, after all, it was part of the process, right...?

why, hello, wereleopard, she tipped, laughing at the nickname, but since he said that's what he was, why not? I was already thinking if I would have to go into the woods to find another one of your kind lol

She laughed again, while waiting for his response.

Lih.Ito: oh you can't find someone like me in the woods or anywhere else babe

I am a unique, rendered specimen

**endangered

sorry

autocorrect

She laughed quietly, into her phone. Okay, she concluded that it wouldn't be him if he didn't make a fool of himself. She responds.

 Sekihyo: hahaha thats fine

I was thinking about sending a message, but I was wondering if you were busy, so I was embarrassed to send you one on a weekday, especially during work hours… 🙈🙈🙈

I was waiting for the weekend idk...

It takes him a while to respond, and she has fun imagining him trying to think of the best kind of response, maybe even fooling around while debating with his friends. Men like that could be quite insecure.

Lih.Ito: sorry about that 

I've been really busy this week

but you could've texted me at any time

no need to be ashamed

I know I bite, but you also know that I'm gentle when I do so haha

Akane chuckles softly, trying to keep it low so her grumpy boss wouldn't hear her. One day she would get her own beauty salon, even if it wasn't at a fixed address... she kept texting.

Sekihyo: well now that you gave me the green light…

then I'm going to talk now 💖

tell me, do you have anything to say? 

you started the conversation, so there must be something there… 😏😏

Lih.Ito: I do actually

I've been thinking and I've come to a conclusion

I don't think I got my whole soul back

did I left a piece of it with you?

😉

She smiled at the ingenuity of his question. And also because it gave the indication that he enjoyed their night, and wasn't bothered at all by her style... so much so that he wanted more...

Her smile took on a touch of mischief. The second part of her strategy began now.

Sekihyo:  Hnmmm... I think so... but I don't want to return it 😙😙

sorry, honey, I think I'll keep it for myself 😈

He again takes a few minutes to respond, even after viewing the message. Oh, she could imagine that presumptuous fool puffing his chest out, thinking he was hot shit, that he already had the upper hand... he had no idea what was about to hit him.

Lih.Ito: oooh no miss

It's mine and I want it back

hahahaha

but I'm willing to negotiate

when can we meet to sort this out?

She almost felt sorry for him when she replied:

Sekihyo: eh, I don't think this is gonna work, hon 

not after this last weekend 💁‍♀️

She puts her phone aside for a while. Since Instagram had no indication that anyone was typing, she would use this to her advantage, giving herself a little time before responding to anything. She left it in her purse and went to the convenience store near the beauty salon, to buy some sweets and maybe even a cupcake... almost immediately she missed her friend's cooking, and she remembered the cookies she had ordered. Yes, she had to talk to her.

When she returned, she completely ignored his contact, and went to Tomori's:

Panther:

hey girl..

I almost forgot

are you still baking those american cookies there?

with the chocolate chips and everything

I was going to ask you to bring me some last week but we set that double date really fast and I focused on getting all dolled up 💅💅💅

Wolfie:

heya girl

oh yeah, your cookie box

I kinda forgot with all that's going on hahaha

but I'll bake some for you real quick, no prob

with lots of chocolate chips 💕

Panther:

ILU 💕 

can you bring it to me this weekend?

or I'll come to your house, then we can have fun and gossip 🤭

Speaking of gossip, I have a juicy one

damn, I can't wait

I'll say it straight away: Blondie is already asking for an encore!

Do you feel avenged now? 😈😈😈😈

Wolfie:

DAMN

LMAO

I sure as fuck do!

I can see them from the pantry window

holy shit his face!

He looks like he was run over and didn't write down the license plate LOL

Panther:

are his friends laughing at him?

if they are I'll be one happy hoe lmao

Wolfie:

He isn't letting them look at his phone 

LMAO

girl what the hell did you do to him???

😭

Panther:

he wasn't cutting his bullshit, so I cut it for him LOL

if he really wants me, he will find a way to come to me

but thou hast not seen my final form. Just wait and see…

She then went to check Rihito's messages, which consisted of a series of short, almost monosyllabic texts, where she could read the perplexity in each digit.

Lih.Ito: huh?

wait wdym??

I don't get it

what happened last weekend?

miss agata??

She laughed, and shook her shoulders like a panther about to pounce. Ooh, that was going to be good…

Sekihyo: what, hon, have you forgotten?

on top of being average at best, you also got memory problems? 🤭🤭

His answer arrives almost instantly, and ooh, she could see the indignation, the wounded ego of a prideful man, stamped in each of those little letters.

Lih.Ito: average??

what the fuck is that supposed to mean??

that's not what you told me that night!

explain that shit better!

Sekihyo: do you really want me to explain?

oh boy... I will, quit whining

just a sec

She started laughing to herself, going to Tomori's contact meanwhile.

Panther:

Sooooo? 

SPILL THE BEANS, GIRL! 

how is he reacting?

Wolfie:

girl I don't know what you're doing

but please don't stop

bitch he's RED AS A TOMATO

holy fuck

I had seen him angry before but not like this

the boys are completely lost LOL

💀

Panther:

ahhahahahah, calm your tits… everything's going according to plan

he'll stop and calm down soon, I believe...

And she cautiously returns to his contact, writing a long response, to make up for the waiting time:

Sekihyo: So, here's the thing: I'm not saying I didn't like it, so calm down. I really came every time we did it (I'm not a faker, okay?! 😠😠😠).

It's just that I'm really experienced and well, I saw your effort, and I even asked for an encore to see all your strong and weak points (do you remember the test thing? I was serious ) and well, my verdict is... you barely scraped by.

There, I said it. Man, this is so embarrassing, I don't know how to explain this 💀💀💀

Like, you can improve, but… for me it was just another fuck like any other. Period.

So idk what else to tell you. I'm now embarrassed to look you in the eye after that

And she went back to Tomori's contact. She was doing that cautiously so as not to get confused and send a message in the wrong chat. It was a very delicate process.

Panther:

there, I spilled the tea.

send some feedback

did I take him down a peg or nah?

Wolfie:

girl

omg

I think you broke him

he went from red to white in a second

he looks like a chameleon ffs

Naoh looks so worried, poor thing

He's even coming here, I think he's going to ask for some water for rihito lol

one sec

…

Hiro looks at Tomori on her phone while he was at the register, arching an eyebrow.

"Girl, don't you have a job to do?," he asks.

"Oh- my bad, Hiro!," Tomori starts a little, putting away her phone. "Akane sent me a message! She wants to order a cookie box."

"Oooh…," he looks askance at the small chaos happening at the four idiot's table, including Okubo getting up and coming right to the counter. He looks back at Tomori, whispering, "And she's commiting first degree murder with blondie's ego, right?," he starts to laugh quietly.

Tomori looks discreetly at Okubo, who was coming towards them with a slightly alarmed expression, while hissing to her friend, "Yes. I don't know what she's doing exactly, but whatever it was, it made him deflate like a flat tire."

"Play it cool," Hiro whispers before looking at Okubo. "What can we do for you, honey?"

"Hey babe. Do you want to order anything else?," Tomori asks, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible.

"Oh, yeah, I want some water, please…," he seemed worried. "I don't know what's going on, Tomoh, but things are getting tense there. Rihito went from red to white to blushing like crazy, I don't know what's going on! He just sent a text to your friend and that's it..."

Hiro's eyes widen.

"Oh, boy. May his soul rest in peace then…," he puts his hands together as if he was praying.

"What does that mean?," Okubo blinks, confused.

"Dude, there’s a reason that girl’s nom de guerre is Panther. And it’s not because she's a Kama Sutra black belt or something…," he tries not to laugh. "We warned you. She's no joke."

Okubo's eyes widened. "Wow, and he was praising her to no end and everything..."

"Well… I mean, she does a good job. The problem here…," he raises his hands. "Is him. If you're not at her level…," he laughs coquettishly.

Okubo makes a hissing noise as if he was in pain.

"Ugh… damn, now we’re the ones who are going to have to listen to him whine…," He takes the water bottle that Tomori was offering to him. "That's gonna be a blow at his pride… or he might make a scene, I don't know."

"Relax, she’s just like us," Hiro winks at him. "You know me, so you know her."

Okubo thought it was strange and didn't really believe what he was hearing, but looking at Tomori, who seemed calm about it, he relaxed a little.

"Okay… but hey, if he gets his heart broken…"

"Then we'll take the matter in our own hands, honey. He's our friend too," Hiro says seriously. "Kanami knows how important he is to you too. And for her boyfriend too. We're keeping an eye on it."

"Yes. You can rest assured, Naoh. Now go and help him, please," Tomori asks with a grimace. "Seriously, he's going to need it."

Okubo nods, returning to the table, smiling at Tomori before leaving.

And indeed, Rihito appeared to be in a state where medical intervention would be necessary. He stared at the screen of his phone, holding it with shaking hands, so much so that Kaneda and Himuro were actually afraid he was going to throw it against the floor or the wall. His green eyes were glassy, ​​livid, burning with a fury they had only seen during his matches. He gritted his teeth tightly, breathing deeply through his nose like a bull about to charge into a red cape.

They didn't know what kind of response he had received from his newest conquest, but whatever it was, it hadn't been good.

"Rihito, calm down," Kaneda asks quietly, soothingly. "Okubo has already gone to get you some water, so don’t go crazy in the middle of the bakery..."

"Come on, dude, tell us what happened," Himuro leans towards him with some urgency. "What did she tell you? You can talk, we won't make fun of you."

He glares at them, shaking his head afterwards.

"Leave me alone!," He snarls before turning his attention to his phone, typing furiously.

…

She went back to his chat to assess the damage done.

Lih.Ito: no wait

you hadn't told me any of that

at all

fuck

I don't get it

that's not how I saw things, much less what you told me

what kind of feedback is that??

Akane decided to cut him some slack and answer that.

 Sekihyo: I told ya this was embarrassing...

now imagine doing some shit in the middle of your workday because of that

and giving feedback right after sex would make me biased

cause I was in the middle of the afterglow, cmon... 😳😳

I'm telling you how it is as a friend, man, can't you take constructive criticism?

She waits for his answer, wondering if he was going to rage, be rude, maybe even swear at her. It happened frequently.

But the answer doesn't come. The minutes pass by and there is no sign of notifications.

Yeah... she definitely shot the leopard down.

She smiled with an evil, coquettish laugh, rewarding herself with a lollipop, returning to her work.

Now it was just a matter of waiting for the beast to come to her den.

…

Himuro and Kaneda are a little startled when Rihito drops his phone on the table abruptly, the object sliding across the smooth surface until it stops dangerously close to the edge. He puts a hand over his face, huffing angrily, his eyes closed as if he's trying to contain himself.

The only thing they could conclude, basically, was that he was rejected. And in a not so pious way, judging by that reaction. They look at each other, worried, and then turn to Okubo, who was arriving with a bottle of water. "Just give it to him, man, he’s as white as a sheet…"

He gives it to him without ceremony. "Take it dude, we're worried about you," he pulls his hand away when he takes it abruptly, opening it quickly. Behind him, away from his view, he silently signals to the other two a “everything's fine, just chill” sign before returning to his seat.

Rihito chugs the entire bottle, drinking as if his throat was on fire. Some of it runs down his chin, dripping onto his sweatshirt. Then he places it on the table, almost crushing it between his fingers, the plastic cracking loudly. The other three exchange alarmed looks.

"Bro, calm down-"

"I'm calm!," He almost shouts, and then falls silent when he sees that half the bakery has turned to look at him. He takes a deep breath, the sound coming out shakily, and then repeats, in a lower tone, "I'm calm... calm as fuck, actually, I've never been calmer..."

"Yeah, yeah, we get it," Okubo sits down, still cornered. "Seriously, man, you're scaring the shit outta us here. You want more water or something?"

"No, if I drink more water I might drown...," He growls, scratching his eyes hard. And then he seems to see his friends' worried expressions for the first time. He growls again, putting his hand over his face.

"I'm sorry, guys... I'm sorry, really... this isn't your fault, but... damn, dude..."

"Can you explain what happened without having a stroke or something?," Himuro asks. "Maybe we can help, I don’t know-"

"No," He responds without a beat. "There’s nothing you can do to help. This is my thing to sort out... aargh, she's so fucking nasty...!"

Yep, looks like they hit the nail on the head.

Okubo massages his face. "Okay... so... just move on, y'know? That thing about 'you already had the no' and such…"

"No!," He responds louder this time, although not shouting, his fists clenching on top of the table. "I'm not going to fucking move on, not until I hear everything, EVERYTHING I read on this fucking app straight from her mouth."

The other three become even more alarmed, Kaneda even rising from his chair.

"Rihito, don't be stupid! You can't just go after this girl, even more so when you're pissed like that."

"Yeah, dude! You could do some really bad shit, and even us won't be able do defend you," Himuro warns, pointing at him.

This makes Rihito pause. He stares at them, anger briefly giving way to shock.

"What the fuck do you think I’m gonna do? Beat the crap outta her or something?! Of course not, what the hell!"

The other three let out a collective sigh of relief. Kanami had even taken a look in his direction but soon calmed down, returning to what she was doing. Ohma, who was at the counter like the regular customer he was, had also stopped to look, but kept to himself.

Okubo was still a little alarmed. "Alright, but are you going after her today? Do you know where she works or where she lives? There's no way you can find her today."

"She has her work address on her Instagram profile. At least I already have a reference point," He picks up his phone again, now looking almost madly focused. "A beauty salon or something..."

"And you’re going to go after the girl at her work? Really?," Himuro gestures agitatedly. "You're basically begging to be humiliated even more!"

"Or to have the police on your tail, and honestly, your record with them is already bad," Kaneda sits down again. "Just forget it, Rihito. It really sucks to be rejected, but that's life. You already got what you wanted from her, anyway..."

Rihito looks up at them again. And they see a new feeling beyond anger or indignation in his eyes.

Humiliation, pure and simple. A shame that made them want to look away and not have to deal with it, because seeing Rihito furious was one thing, but seeing him dejected like that was another.

It reminded them of when he had suffered that crushing defeat to Kuroki Gensai, in the Annihilation Tournament, almost five years ago. His pride had been broken. It had taken him a while to pick up the pieces. And now he looked like he was about to go through the same process all over again.

"You don't understand. You didn't read the shit she texted me. I won't have peace until I hear it from her, guys" He says in an almost desperate tone.

"Dude… I can go with you, if you want," Okubo offers, but Rihito's face made him change his mind "Okay, okay, it's a stupid idea, but man, at least it calmed you down a tad. I still remember that time when you were pissed off during a spar session and almost took a chunk out of my arm. And I'm built for combat! Imagine how it could go with a girl as thin as a rail. I know, I know you're not going to do anything to her, but as your friend, your bro, your homie, I'm not gonna to let you go after her foaming at the mouth. We can do shit like that, you know me and I know you too."

Rihito closes his eyes, taking a deep, hard breath. Himuro and Kaneda look at each other before nodding.

"Okubo is right, man. If you want to go after her, fine, but do so with a cool head. Otherwise you might do something you'll regret, especially because it will be by accident," ​​Himuro reaches out, touching his friend's shoulder, and being relieved when he doesn't reject him.

"In the meantime, you can vent here with us too, if it makes you feel better. Uh... you can even cuss us out if you want, we can handle it," Kaneda swallows a little.

Rihito shakes his head, and they feel a little more relieved to see him regaining some color.

"I'm not going to... I don't even have it in me anymore, damn it... I just can't understand what the fuck I did wrong! And why was she so mean like that, because I swear we were getting along pretty great on Saturday! I did everything right, I held on, I kept my hands to myself until I saw that I could be more forward…"

"Huh…," Okubo raises an eyebrow. "did she curse you or call you a bad thing?"

And there came the violent blush taking over his face. But they could see it wasn't out of anger.

"... No. She didn't swear at me. But I'm very used to swearing.  But that...argh!," He shakes his head, grinding his teeth again. "Forget it, I’m not gonna keep whining like a little bitch! I'm just gonna wait for my blood to stop boiling, because like you said, I want to keep my head cool. I'll need it."

Himuro and Kaneda look at each other again, very worried. What, had she said he had a small dick or something? They were afraid to ask.

Okubo sighs. "Okay, then… do you wanna break some bottles? We could use the alley next door… this way we can spill over things and whatever…"

"... Fine," He gets up from his chair, breathing hard through his nostrils. "I really need to break something..."

"Go ahead. We'll call you when it's our time to leave," Kaneda says, and Himuro nods. They would rather see Rihito breaking bottles in an alley than tables and chairs inside the bakery, honestly.

…

Panther:

there you go, girl

the damage's done. 😮‍💨🤣🤣

his ego has been cut into thin slices and mixed with some sauce of confusion

now we'll just wait and let it simmer 🍳🍳

Wolfie:

girl holy fuck

I get it now

you're using that strategy, aren't ya?

damn, a classic from high school times

Panther:

man, I hadn't used it in SO LONG

I even thought I'd lost the touch

But I'm not doing this on a whim, you know...? 👉👈

Wolfie:

yeah, I guessed that

you're one mean bitch LMAO

but that means you liked going on a date with him, right?

I told ya, he's not bad once you get to know him better

he just has a giant ego lol

🤫

Panther:

yeah, he's really cute

he has those "puss-in-boots" kinda eyes that are hard to resist

and I'm not gonna lie, he has some potential to be a nice fuck buddy, but alas... 😗😗😗

he needs to pass my tests first y'know?

if he doesn't, at least he'll come out better than before 

I guarantee that 😜

Wolfie:

lmao girl you're ruthless

and you know he'll come back for phase 3, right?

he was blowing smoke outta his nostrils lol

Naoh even had to take him outside to let it all out

he'll come after you like a bull comes for a red cape 🐂

Panther:

yeah I fucking hope so! 

I'm ready for him 

but morally speaking, I didn't insult him or left him heartbroken or anything

I just hit his pride, so please don't hit me back 😰😰

if Hiro or The Butch sees this, they might get pissed 

I'm aware that since he's your friend, and they're at the bakery, he's their friend too

Wolfie:

don't worry about that 

Hiro immediately understood what was going on

and we'll explain it to Kanny too

I'm tellin ya, he needed that ego beating

he's a womanizer and has a massive ego

he needed a healthy dose of humbling

Panther:

alright then

I'll get back to work now

don't forget my cookies, okay?

I wanna chocolate chip cookies and some of those pretty sugar cookies you make

and I want a king-size box cause girl, I need some sugar... 

can I tell you something? 👉👈

Wolfie:

I'm working on it now!

you can come by my house to pick it up if you want, then we can gossip some more lol

and sure, go ahead!

Panther:

I worked out like hell this weekend… 

by sunday I was a fucking wreck, holy shit

taking down a bull-sized man is no easy task

and yours is even bigger, right?!

man, that sounds awesome, never having to be on a diet again 😍😍😍

Wolfie:

LMFAO

It's what you call an intensive workout  🏋️‍♀️

girl, they're all fighters

they never get out of breath, it's almost scary

I must've lost about 13 pounds after I got my bull-sized man 

🤸‍♀️

Panther:

c'mon don't make me jealous

I'm probably just going to do a rodeo tournament with him and that's that

best case scenario, we'll not look at each other funny if we meet on the street 

I'm not in the mood to get in a relationship either. 

There's still that thing, y'know... my previous fuck buddy was a piece of shit 

I still haven't gotten over that

I got a text from him yesterday, but I blocked him

man, being hot is no joke 💅💅💅

Wolfie:

wow girl hahaha

but seriously, don't give in, please

cut this creep's bullshit out if he comes after you

you and you devastating leg lock hahaha

Rihito wanting to do you again is proof of that

because the boys told me that he never asks for seconds 😏

Panther:

Who said women aren't fighters too?

I have a black belt in KamaSutra, baby 🤣🤣🤣🤣

My blows are fatal and my movements are coldly calculated

Okay, that's it for now, my boss' gonna chew me out

BYEEEE!

Akane sighs after having a good laugh. Now came an even more delicate part of her plan. He would probably come after her one day from today. He would find a way to come, at least. Then she would be prepared for whatever it was.

Next chapter HERE

[iexistfor1post]

Rambly I think

I think my brain really needs to accept that I am never, ever going to calm down. I guess

What I mean is my brain needs to accept that changes are going to happen and that I'd rather not be anxious twenty-four seven

I'm still having to get used to having to change my Messenger app. And so i'm anxious about it now

Too many changes and my brain hates it

Like i've only kind of gotten used to my new phone despite having it for a couple months now

It is just very clear to see that my brain has been running on anxiety

With just a flick, they switch if it's on or off at the moment

And even then, it's always like a tiny bit of anxiety, is there and it's stupid stupid, it's stupid

I was gonna draw, but anxiety just made me wanna go lie down?

You know, hide under the covers. Listen to youtube for hours instead of doing something that was bringing me joy

Not that watching youtube doesn't bring me joy

The thing is, it is bad to not have good sleep for anxiety and other issues I guess

But ISO badly went to sleep-deprived. Myself so my brain will not be really anxious, so I can get used to shit

Cause. How can my brain work when it has to focus on not sleeping hmmm

...

It makes me sad to think that despite all the stuff that I love. In like present day and stuff, I like and stuff I liked in middle school and high school

It makes me sad that I honestly wish I was still a kid in the early to mid 2000s to early 2010s

Mostly the early to mid 2000s

Like I do get joy in the everyday. Of my life, I guess sort of

But there's just a part of me that's just longing for when life was just easy for me

And like it was always kind of easy, I didn't have to really do anything

Like I did have some fun in high school and middle school. But I am not missing it, I guess

I just think being a tiny child is what's bringing peace. Or something like I don't know like why?

What about being a small child makes me long for it

You have no freedom as a tiny child

...

Do I just wish to be cared for in a certain way???

Like I am an adult but I still live with my parents

I don't have to pay rent

I help with groceries

I have a job

I am technically secure because of my parents

Try as anyone might, but nobody can convince me that the world isn't scary

Like I think I'm kind of breaking down despite literally having fun. This entire day so far

All because of a stupid message app being different to the one I had for around a decade or something.

It is stupid

...

I am stupid :(

It's like I feel trapped but I don't want to go anywhere. I don't wanna be free

But like I'm that sad creature in the cage

Like me. Typing this down is me trying to bring peace to myself and help my brain

I feel like I'd go in circles sometimes

It is the same post almost every time

From what I turn from, I was never good at change

I didn't like it when I had to move. But that just sounds like a normal kid thing

But literally a year after moving my anxiety started, I guess

Like the 1st day of school, my nerves made me feel sick. In almost every year after that, it was the same thing for the first day or two

But I was still a kid and I was having fun in life. I just wasn't good at making friends

Looking back now I can say the internet wasn't a good thing for me

It still isn't

Cus the internet became my escape

It was fun and is still fun but...

My social skills suck

I have no drive in life

It really just feels like I want to be hand held in life

My love for school died in middle school so I never want to go to college

Excuses excuses excuses

It isn't even like I wish I was born in a different time period

I am pretty sure I would flail there also

Especially since my anxiety is bad

Also btw even though no one reads

I haven't been diagnosed with Anxiety but I think by reading and stuff we can tell I have it

....

Also as much as I don't want to think about it I could have depression

Like idk

I know my maternal grandma has depression

My mom I think as anxiety and I think depression but idk if diagnosed

My nieces have depression and I think one of them as anxiety

My brother has anxiety (and adhd)

Like something definitely runs in my family

I mean, I could take "fun" online quizzes

Maybe laughing at my "pain" will help.

===

Took one for just anxiety not anxiety disorder

I got High Anxiety... 75%

To which the random quiz says It could be anxiety disorder

Uh huh yeah no I kind got that when the past couple months have been on and off in trash feelings

Quiz told me to get therapy then (as it needs to say) that it isn't professional advice

Shoot I took their anxiety disorder quiz and got 75% there also

Which makes sense even though the questions were different enough

I never know how to a answer the panic attack question cuz it also seems to be hyperventilating which I almost never do

I get shaky and my heart pound and I pace even more than I normally do

That doesn't sound like a panic attck

Though I do also want to go and hide but like that also doesn't sound like a panic attack

Took another of their quizzes

Highly anxiety personality 62&%

I honestly don't know ow where I was going with this

I left and came back to this 3 hours later

I am feeling slightly better now

[getitinbusan]

The Music Room -

Min Yoongi 18+ Smut

Part of the Lost Boys Series

JIN • NAMJOON • YOONGI •

Warnings: 18+ smut, MF sex, MF oral, A playful bite, Swearing.

Words: 3075

Summary: A stand alone series about a misfit friend group of seven boys. These stories are a day in the life snip it of who they are, where they came from and how they love.

The melody drifting up the barren hall floated through the air like it was made for your ears alone.

The poetic rhythm of the keys made you pause, listening enviously at the talent of whomever was playing.

But who was playing? It was 8 am on a Friday, the room should be vacant. Pulling up the music rooms schedule on your phone, you weren't wrong. The first spot of the day was yours for the entire semester. 

You knocked lightly. The sound stopped and the bench made it's familiar dragging noise across the concrete floor. 

Pulling the heavy windowless wood open by it's cold handle you peeked inside. He scrambled, seemingly embarrassed, shoving his sheet music into his backpack. 

"You should be more careful with your notes, don't want to ruin any masterpieces." 

"No fear in that," he mumbled.  "They're just a bunch of scribbled ideas."

 Pulling the zipper shut he slung it over his shoulder.  "Sorry, I didn't know this was your time slot." 

"It's fine." you tried to smile at him but he kept his eyes down.

"Don't you have the schools app? I can check to see when you're supposed to be here." You tapped the widget,  "What's your name?"

"It's fine, I'm actually not on the schedule." 

"Oh, why not? You sounded great. If you missed the cutoff you can still be added to a wait list. People drop out all the time." 

He looked up and grinned. By God if he wasn't the most beautiful boy you'd ever seen.

"I don't belong here." 

"Don't say that. I was listening and you're really talented, you deserve to be here just as much as any of us." 

"I don't though." His eyes met yours and you were done for. "I don't go here, I'm not a student." 

"Ahh, I guess that's a problem." 

"I already said I'm sorry," he got defensive. "I'll just get out of your way."

He started towards the door.

You tugged his backpack. "So is breaking into schools and playing piano a weird hobby of yours?"

You tried to lighten the mood, "you've got a little Phantom of the Opera University edition kink?" 

He laughed. "I'm not technically breaking in, I do have a key fob." He held up the school ID. "It's my roommates. And if you want to know about my kinks you're gonna have to get to know me a little better." 

You stepped closer and took it from his hand.

"Park Jimin, Performing Arts." Handing it back you eyed him up and down. "So what's your story….."

"My name's Yoongi."

Pulling a chair out from the corner you sat and rummaged through your backpack until you pulled out your breakfast. 

"Listen Yoongi, I was just going to sit here. I need logged practice time for course credit." 

You peeled your clementine, "So if you want to stay and play, be my guest."

He looked at you unsure, "Why would you do that for me?" 

You smiled and shrugged. "I like your face." 

Turning red he plopped his knapsack back onto the floor and reclaimed the bench. 

You waited until his fingers were just about to land on the keys. "I do have one condition though." 

He froze, "Yeah, what's that?" 

"You have to take me for coffee later and tell me your story. Agree?" 

"I Agree. But you didn't have to give up your time for that, I was going to ask you out anyway." 

You probably wouldn't have given up your time but you were intrigued. Park Jimin was an amazing dancer. The curious boy who was here on scholarship was often the subject of conversation in the dining hall. Not only was he good looking but he was a mystery. He hung out with the strangest group of friends, seven misfit boys who were proud to not fit in. In this small University town they stood out as odd, everyone referred to them as The Lost Boys. Yoongi, now being revealed to you as one of them, seemed harmless enough and the opportunity to get to know a piece of them was too good to pass. 

Walking and talking up the worn concrete path you made your way through the bustle of pajama clad students trying to get to class. 

"Don't you have to be somewhere?" 

"Yeah, but I don't care. I'd rather get to know you." 

"You should go, I'm not so important that you should lose a day of school over me." 

"It's all bullshit anyway Yoongi, it's not going to get me anywhere." 

He stopped abruptly, now just outside the small coffee shop. "You sound like a spoiled brat." 

You were shocked, who the hell was he to speak to you like that? 

"I'd kill to be in your position and you don't even give a shit about just squandering it away." 

He pulled the door open and looked at you crossly. "Still want that coffee?" 

You stepped in front of him and shot him a dirty look. "I do. You owe me AND because I'm a brat I'm going to order the fanciest thing on the menu. TO GO!" 

He silently walked behind you, following to the counter while you placed your ostentatious order. You stood studying him while he asked for an iced Americano. His blond shaggy hair skimmed his chocolate eyes and his sexy lips seemed to  always sit in permanent pout. They looked like they'd be nice to kiss. 

"You want to stop staring at me and take your expensive drink. You're holding up the line." 

You blushed, knocked from your daydream admiration by his deep voice.

You huffed while pulling the chair out, making a show of your annoyance, situating yourself at the corner table.

"I thought you were getting it to go?" he barbed. 

"Why would I do that when I can be a pain in your ass a little bit longer? You promised to tell me your story, let's hear it?" 

His inhale was deep. Anxiety? Apprehension? A mix of both? His eyes stared at his coffee while his fingers fiddled with the straw. "I want to be a musician." 

"Well I figured that much." 

"Listen, if you really want to know can you just shut up? This isn't an easy thing for me to talk about, I don't just tell everyone." 

"If you don't want to tell me don't" 

He cut you off. "But I do want to, for some stupid reason."

"What reason?" 

He exhaled with a smirk. "I like your face." 

You smiled, "Then please continue." 

"I want to be a musician. I write music and lyrics and it's all I've ever wanted my entire life."

He took a sip of coffee. "My parents didn't approve of my choices so I decided to move out on my own and live my life how I wanted." 

You nodded in understanding. 

"I didn't take into consideration how hard exactly that would be, but I'm a proud man, and there's no going back." 

"So what do you do? You're not a student, do you work?"

"Yeah, I deliver food and groceries part time. It doesn't pay much but the basics are covered." 

You looked down at your shitty expensive coffee in guilt, maybe you were just a spoiled brat.

"So whenever I'm not working I try to get as much practice and writing in as I can. I use Jimin's fob to get into the music room and that's where I am most nights...all night." he shrugged in omission. 

"So no time for a girlfriend?" you felt silly the moment it left your lips. 

"I didn't think so." He looked up for the first time since the conversation started. "But," he smiled, "I think given the right person priorities could definitely be changed." 

Talking into the afternoon time flew away. Several less expensive coffees later he looked at his phone and frowned. "I've got to go to work." 

He stood up and gathered his things. "But I'd love it if we could see each other again." 

You stood to go too. "Next Friday 8am? I can let you in with my fob?" 

"That sounds really nice." His hand reached out and his fingers brushed across yours as he took the tray from you. "But I was hoping I wouldn't have to wait that long. We're having a party tonight at our place...will you come?" 

You sat on the edge of the sofa watching the group around you getting drunk and philosophical. Definitely nothing like a frat party, these guys were a different breed.

His roommates were all handsome in their own way and something about them just set you at ease. No pretensions, no apologies, they were just who they were having fun.

Finally seeing him walk through the door your heart raced when his eye caught yours.

"I'm sorry I'm late, they kept getting orders." 

"It's okay. Your roommate..." you pointed to Seokjin. "The one with the really broad shoulders, he kept me entertained with some pretty good jokes." 

He scrunched his nose, "really, really sorry." 

You pulled a bottle vodka out of your purse and raised your brows. "Are you ready for some fun." 

He grabbed your hand and pulled you up from the couch until you were close enough to hear without having to shout.

"I'd like to grab a shower. Do you want to wait in my room for me? I mean...if you're uncomfortable down here by yourself." 

It was a no brainer, the sexual tension and chemistry you'd had all day was like a current of electricity running between you.

"Lead the way." 

You looked around his room while he was showering. Sure the mattress was on the floor but the bed was made and his clothes were hung neatly in the closet. His dresser was stacked with notebooks that were overflowing with lyrics. Pieces of paper with doodles and random words loosely spilling from between the pages. 

Pictures, they must be family, small resemblances in their smiles and it looked like he had a brother. 

He had a shelf full of colognes. Picking up the Paco Rabanne he walked in as you were pulling the cap off to sniff it. 

"Sorry, I wasn't trying to be nosey, I just wanted to know what you smelled like." Idiot, of all the creepy things to say. 

He smiled, "It's alright, I'm not hiding anything." 

"No," your cheeks flushed when it finally registered that he was half naked in front of you. "I guess you really aren't." 

"Shit, sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just forgot to grab my clean clothes before I went in." He opened a drawer to pull out a shirt. 

"It doesn't," you blurted embarrassed. 

He pulled his hand away from the clothing and raised his brows quizzically, "So you don't want me to get dressed?" 

You walked towards him, he was gorgeous. Water droplets still clung to his muscular chest like he couldn't afford the time away from you to fully dry himself. 

"I think," you stammered, "That I'd actually prefer if you didn't."

You placed your hand on his bicep and waited for his response. 

It didn't come from words, it came from two soft warm lips attaching themselves to yours. 

"You're a good good kisser Min Yoongi. Is your mouth that good at everything?" 

"You mean like singing?" He teased your lips with his while he popped the button on your jeans. 

"No," you giggled. 

"Then you must mean biting?" His teeth lightly bit the flesh of your thigh as he kneeled to lower your pants and underwear. 

"Nope, that's not what I meant either." 

"Oh, I know, you must mean eating?" His warm tongue found your clit and gave it a little flick. "I think I'm pretty good at it." 

You ran your fingers through his hair while he looked up at you hungry. 

"Prove it," you moaned." 

Stepping out of your pants you leaned back against his dresser. Ass resting on the edge he opened your thighs, a low mumble of, "fuck" drifting out of his mouth before he dove in. 

His large hands held you open while his silky tongue explored every crevice of your sex sending your senses into a frenzy. Coming up for air every so often he'd moan at the loss of your taste before inhaling and going back in for more. He wasn't methodical, his mouth was unpredictable. One minute his tongue would be deep inside you and the next he'd have his lips around your clit sucking softly. 

"Come over here with me."

He led you to the bed, taking off your shirt before guiding you down. Your eyes ran over his body stopping at the bulge under the tightly wrapped terry cloth towel. The wetness in between your legs grew just thinking about getting to see it. 

He laid down beside you, holding your face and kissing you while you reached to undo his shroud.  

Smiling, he pulled your hand away, "I'm not done with you yet. Tell me what you want me to do to you." 

You had to rub your legs together for friction, he was driving you wild. "This morning, when I watched you playing?" 

He smiled like he knew.

"All I could think of was how sexy your..." He stopped your words by hooking two fingers  into your mouth and rubbing them against your tongue. 

"You were thinking about how good these would feel inside you?" He kissed your neck, "You really know what you want huh?" 

"Some people even say I'm spoiled."

"Do you always get your way?"

He plunged them inside of you changing your words of, "I hope so," into a long drawn out moan.  

Kissing his way down your neck and over your collar bones his mouth lingered on your breasts. Skimming his lips across your nipples he watched as they hardened into excited little buds. A small smile graced his face, he was clearly proud of how he was making your body react. 

His long piano fingers played skillfully inside of you while he latched onto your nipple and suckled. Your heart beat loudly like it was part of the parties soundtrack, the music  reverberating through the floor as he fingered you. The whole unfolding scene felt like a dream. Dizzy and intoxicated from lust and heavy breathing you didn't want to wake up to a reality other than this one.

A thud outside the door snapped you back, your thighs clamping shut on his hand as you pulled the covers up to hide yourself. 

"It's locked, nobody can get in, don't worry." He pulled the sheet back off of you to continue his work. 

"Are you sure they can't get in?"

A loud moan rang through the hall and the thuds against the wall gave away the truth. 

"I'm sure they have their own agenda." 

You flopped back trying to regain the moment while his fingers  stroked your walls. 

It was distracting at first, people fucking right outside his door. But a few minutes of listening to their pleasure, of hearing their moans and the pleas of harder, you were more turned on than ever. 

He watched you unravelling at the  pornographic sounds. "You wanna cum when they do?" 

"Please..please," you begged in time with the drag of his fingers. 

The sounds escalating on both sides of the wall seemed to add fuel to the fires of both immanent orgasms. Just as the stranger in the hall screamed her end, Yoongi pumped and sucked harder until you finished longer and louder than your unknown counterpart. He laughed as he pulled his fingers out of you, the strings of excitement cleaned off with a lurid suck of his own digits. 

Your head was still reeling when he pulled his towel off. His thick beautiful cock looked so hard and ripe as he reached in his drawer for a condom. 

"Can I put it on you?" You took it from his hand and ripped the package open. Holding it between your fingertips you got closer and ran your tongue around the head of his cock. The taste of pre cum on his freshly washed dick made you ready for more.

Giving him a few deep sucks and pumps you needed him now. He watched while you rolled the thin latex tightly over his twitching thickness and straddled him, wasting no time to begin bouncing on his cock. 

Your kisses were messy, hands entwined in his hair, your breasts grazing against his skin with every thrust while you rode him. "Fuck, you feel so good." 

His hands gripped your ass squeezing as he moaned underneath you. Orgasm building like a hurricane, the eye of the perfect storm became more imminent with every slide of your pleasure point against his soaked pubic trail.

"Make me cum Yoongi." 

He flipped you swiftly onto your back and his hips picked up the pace to the finish line. Thrusting in between your open thighs his cock drove you to convulsively cum, your cunt squeezing his own warm liquid into the condom between you. 

He lay with his arms around you in silence. Your head on his chest listening to his heart slowly make it's way back to a normal pace.

"I can't promise you anything more than who I am. I don't have anything to offer you but dreams that may or may not come true."

He stroked your hair as he spoke his truth. "I'm working hard, but I can't guarantee that I'll ever amount to anything more than a delivery boy." 

You sat up on your elbow and stared at the man you'd just fallen in love with. "I want to share all of my time with you Yoongi. In fact, I insist you take it. I've heard you play and I believe in you."

You waited until your lips were just about to land on his. "I do have one condition though." 

He tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, "Yeah, what's that?" 

"You've got to promise you'll write me a song. Agree?" 

His fingers splayed caressing your back, he couldn't help the huge smile that took over his face when he kissed you. 

"I agree. But you didn't have to give up your time for that, I was going to do it anyway."

[literalfuckingdragon]

Ugh fine. Since you want to bitchy. I'm on mobile so chill out if you get offended with formatting. (Or excuse me, "hiding" in tags you could so easily view).

Software: Samsung dex (pretty new), Air Droid (been around since around 2013, however it was technically made in 2007 under a different name but same program). Naming these 2 because I've personally used both. Guess I've also technically used Google's services since most Android phones do for backing up files and you can set your phone to auto transfer through Google drive. There's a crap ton though. I'm not going to personally make you a list of each one in alphabetical order when Google or other preferred search engine is free.

Third party apps: the more commonly used definition within mobile spheres is apps that are not downloaded from the native app stores for your particular device or ecosystem. For Apple, any app that isn't acquired through the App Store(tm), for most Android phones, not acquired through the Google Play Store(tm). I'm saying most Android phones here since you can actually mess around a bit and change your local app store, however I personally haven't done this since I haven't had any desire to, and therefore can't tell you how this goes from personal experience.

Amd here's where the personal attacks really start in. 1. I'm not a kid and stop calling me a kid. Just because I'm autistic and disabled doesn't mean I'm suddenly 5, so chill out. I get enough infantilization everywhere else. 2. My parents actually did bother to be involved in what i was doing. Stop projecting your daddy or mommy issues on me just because you didn't have great relationships with yours. Get some therapy. 3. Never jailbreak my phone at all, and yes I'm smart enough to know that stuff breaks when you don't use it properly. Just because I grew up poor af and can ghetto engineer with the greats doesn't mean I can't tell when something can't actually be fixed. Literally just holy fuck dude, you have some seriously stupid and incorrect assumptions for someone that knows nothing about me or how i grew up. Get over yourself sweetheart. 4. Actually never even tried to modify anything about my apple stuff when I had it beyond changing the wallpaper. Which carries into the next thing.

Apple bricking phones. Oh boy this one is just a cluster fuck. Again, using Google or preferred search engine, you can find countless stories about how people attempting to do simple things like replace screens, dig lint or dirty out of the charging port (when they had them), etc would lead to their phone to completely stop working. Or even just taking it to a repair shop that wasn't the overpriced garbage of the apple store. Now yes of course, don't believe everything you read, but a little truth probably exists within this when it's seen over and over and over (links at the end). I highly doubt that probably millions at this point and several lawsuits later, including federal governments, means everyone is just making it up. My personal experience with this? When I had an iPhone 5 (when it was still considered brand new, not now before you attempt any mental gymnastics) I had to get my Sim card replaced due to some changes our phone plan carrier had made. This was in the middle of nowhere where they're the only phone carrier that would actually work for about 100 miles, so just about everyone in the county goes through them. Mind you we had bought the iPhone from them, and they were an approved apple device seller and repair shop, EXCEPT when we went in to get this done, apple hadn't bothered to review and verify their status paperwork earlier in the week and didn't tell phone carrier they were no longer approved to repair or modify phones for those 2 weeks until everything got sorted. Amazing how all of the iPhones that were taken in within that 2 week window suddenly wouldn't work correctly threw errors everywhere, and just in general threw fits forcing you buy a new one (mine suddenly went from working ok to dying at 80% battery and not actually receiving calls the very next day which is at least a little weird considering the phone was only about a year old and I babied the hell out of it since I take care of my shit). The people not having issues? You guessed it those that went in outside of those 2 weeks. Little suspicious there apple.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.silicon.co.uk/mobility/tablets/apple-fined-bricking-iphones-233777/amp

First link is apple being fined by Australia government for bricking phones repaired third party, and second is them doing it again in the US. 2 years apart. When you do a search, you also get multiple links to how iOS 14 and 15 updates were causing phones to brick as well and that Apple wasn't going to replace phones they bricked with their own update. (Some are possible fixes, and some are just the story about it happening. Not linking those since, again, mobile and formatting.)

Android vs Apple permissions. Android is set up so you have enable permissions, where as Apple you have disabled them. This means with Android, you have a lot more control over your privacy and safety since you don't have to find out later, "oops I've been sharing my location with everyone and sending all of my phone data to third party companies (to clarify third party in this case- can be any company besides Apple, generally advertising companies though).

Dont use free apps: while yes you are correct in that if you arent paying youre the product, how the fuck do you manage to get anything done then? Hell ever paid apps now still take all your data and force you to pay. Fuck at least take me to dinner first before screwing me like that.

Price: apple is fucking expensive. Thousands of dollars. Plua if you want accessories. Why is a new phone charger $20. Why is a monitor stand extra. And you want to make a whole ecosystem because apple intentionally makes it difficult to switch? Just take out a fucking mortgage at that point. Combine that with apple phasing out anything older than like 2 years? Good luck. Android pricing is different. Since Android is an open use software, it can be modified by a company to run on just about anything. Consider it the doom of mobile os. Because of this, pricing depends on brand. You can get Android smart phones as cheap as $30, up to $2,000. It all depends on brand and tech specs. Yeah duh, if you get a super cheap and old android phone, it may have some harder times running multiple things or running bloated, unoptomized software. Same with any pc. If you're using a cheap laptop that 15 years old, it's going to have issues. Because there's such a variety, apps/software aren't tested for every possibility. Sucks but that's kinda how things work. However this openess also means that software developers tend to keep older versions you can revert back to accommodate older/less powerful tech. Not every does, yes, but most. So imma need a citation on that "brought a brand new Android phone and it was 6 generations behind" because x to doubt.

Apple letting older phones run? Considering they just went through several lawsuits about that one do I even need to address it? 2 generations isn't actually that old in terms of tech apple. Maybe if you used up to date tech instead of samsungs scrap pile you wouldn't deal with having to force people to buy new phones to run your untested ios bullshit.

https://www.investopedia.com/articles/investing/090315/10-major-companies-tied-apple-supply-chain.asp

Accessibility: now considering how you appear to treat people, im sure you don't really consider disabilities a thing (you even sound like the people who told me that even though my legs have nerve damage I could judt walk it off, but thats a whole different issue karen). Because andoird can be modified, it can be changed much more to meet accessibility needs, which apple's stuff can't be made to do. This means Android is much more accessible than Apple. But also Apple is the kind of status symbol who probably doesn't want us disables ruining their minimalist image, so they probably want to keep it that way.

Fuck do I even need to address Apple taking away everything for the sake of minimalism? The real world still needs USB ports sometimes Apple.

What I will give Apple:

I know there's also been the huge risk with the Airtag, but im not actually completely faulting Apple on that since so far it seems to be the same issues you can get using tile or other tracker things. However I also don't know a whole lot about it either.

I am not sitting down to teach my grandmother how to use any android device. She can have her damn iPhone, and deal with being forced to upgrade every 2 years. Basically, because you can't change jack shit about Apple products, they can be considered more simple to learn, but most Android phones really aren't that hard either since it's the same concepts. Touch screen to select option, open app to use, all that crap.

Now are you done jacking off to the smell of your own farts?

for the record this IS an apple hate zone yes I have an android phone yes I have a bulky PC with its own USB port yes I use wired headphones. you can go ahead and try to fight me on it but keep in mind how scrappy I must be considering I’m broke as shit and have nothing to lose and can guarantee my phone screen won’t shatter in the brawl