#this sleep over idea man.... if i were a fanfic writer and could properly plan out a plot i'd love to see:

[robinsnest2111]

yeah the nategaar bug really bit me today huh (looking at you @little-murmaider ;^D )

going off of the sleep over thing:

what if somehow Skwisgaar gets emotionally overwhelmed by something (maybe it was a movie scene that added onto his internal emotional chaos from Nate's mom being So Nice and Present?)

and he just. starts crying. at first it's just tears falling down his cheeks. it takes Pickles pointing it out ("dood, are that tears on yer face???") for him to notice it himself. his sobs get louder and the tears just won't stop!

the others turn to him with worried expressions. he curls around the pillow he's been hugging all night, blocking everyone's clumsy but well-meaning attempts at consoling him. "leaves me alones! don'ts touch me!!!"

Toki, Pickles and Murderface are at a loss for words, nothing they are doing to try and help works!

then Nathan gets up from his place on the couch, gently pries one of Skwisgaar's hands away from the pillow which he's had in an iron grip, and asks him to step out of the room with him for a sec.

they stand in silence for a few moments until Skwisgaar's breathing has calmed to the point Nathan deems him able to talk.

he asks simple yes or no questions, doesn't judge him for crying or "being difficult" - just let's him calm all the way down and process his feelings and what had just happened in the living room.

they rejoin the others on the couch and Skwisgaar ends up falling asleep while leaning into Nathan's side.

later that night Pickles, Murderface and Toki ask Nathan how he managed to help Skwisgaar calm down when all of their attempts failed and Nathan's just like: "it's what my mom did when I was a kid. it has always worked for me."

[smartcookie727]

Fanfic Writer Meme

Tagged by: @xambedo​​  💕💕💕

Tagging: @whereisthefood123​, @theolddarkmachine​, @snowmadien​

Ao3 name: smartcookie727 (also on FFnet...I’m not terribly imaginative once I land on something)

Fandoms: Fairy Tail, Voltron Legendary Defender, Boku no Hero Academia, Eden’s Zero, MXTX Novels (TGCF, MDZS, SVSSS), and now Haikyuu!! as of my binge last weekend

Number of fics: About 30 distinct ones (and at least as many in my drafts I gotta have like 15k at minimum in drafts rn as I explore multi ideas) all on tumblr, AO3, and FFnet

1. Fic you spent the most time on: Probably “Precious Time” (my one and only Jerza fic so far). I’m pretty sure that one was in the oven for at least like 3-5 months. I wrote it for my twinsie Carly and wanted everything to be like absolutely on point cause she wanted some Jerza and I wanted to write them well. That or “Malibu Kisses” (the last fic I published wow almost a year ago) I swear I rewrote that like 3x before I landed on the version I kept over a period of maybe 5-6 months. It’s ridiculously detailed and literally the longest oneshot I’ve ever written at a whopping wet and wild 7k adventure of feels. 

2. Fic you spent the least time on: Probably “Tears” (my first Bixanna fic) I think I wrote that in like an hour after watching my friend play a horror game and was the one time I ever took prompts cause I was too afraid to go to sleep even after at least 2 Disney movies. It’s soft and fluffy and my dear friend Kelly wanted some Bixanna and I just ran wild with it.

3. Longest fic: Oneshot: “Malibu Kisses” at 7k, Series: “Forever Mine” at 15-20k depending on if I ever uploaded like one extra fic for it.

4. Shortest fic: “Stay”, “To All the Stars in Her Eyes” and “Desperate Words” are the only ones I have under 1k lmaoooo

5. Most hits: “Forever Mine” series at 7.5k views on FFnet. It was literally my “every day of lovefest” fic

6. Most kudos: “Hiccups” on AO3 (my one and only Nalu fic so far where I did a modern AU and somehow predicted events from the last chapter of the series) with 110 kudos or “Stamina” on FFnet (which was my loooong smexy gajevy fic) with 97 favs. It’s interesting how the numbers for different ships differ on both sites.

7. Most comment threads: “Burn” on AO3. The Sheith fandom is definitely the most vocal and persistent about writing comments or reviews about my fics on either of those websites. And that one was a crazy hot indulgent mess. 

8. Fave fic you wrote: I don’t think I have a favorite? All the ideas I love a lot right now are from multis that are still cooking. But know if the fic gets published, it means I really enjoyed it. Otherwise it would just happily sit in my drafts as a few paragraphs and a silly title!

9. Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: I still wanna go back to “Starfarers” and give my Eden’s Zero flavored Gajevy the rest of their story. There’s at least half a prequel in....you guessed it! my drafts.

10. Share a bit of your WIP or share a story idea that you’re planning:

With a grunt, he regained his footing and stumbled out the door and down the hall, straight to the nearest restroom. Locking it behind him, Shiro slid down to the ground and buried his head in the crook of his elbows. 

Fantastic crashes were starting to become something of a brand for him, and it needed to stop. That or he needed to switch his studies to film and put this universal constant to good use. Leaning his head back, he rested against the door. Probably not the smartest thing to do; he’d taken microbiology on a dare his junior year and could list a few too many species of microorganisms that were likely there. Well, it wasn’t the first less than intelligent decision he’d made that day--he’d probably fucked up whatever small chance he’d had with lane three, bolting like that--so what did he care about a few rogue micrococci. 

Carefully, Shiro counted his breathing until his pulse slowed. At least he could still do something properly. What had he been thinking? Jumping into a pool, giving a stranger CPR, headbutting him then ghosting. Shiro was pretty sure he didn’t have a single working brain cell left. That had to be it. Maybe he could get the doctors to change his meds; this had to be attributed to some sort of chemical crossfire. 

You’ve been on these meds just fine for months, idiot. You know chemicals. There’s a framed paper above your desk that says you do. Whatever decrease in brain cell functionality you have has more to do with the chemicals inspired by deep purple eyes and soft lips rather than your pills. 

Shiro groaned. They had been so soft. Softer than he’d even imagined. Shiro had wanted to kiss them until he forgot what it felt like to breathe. However, he was a whole 6’3” of strange man with a robotic arm, and breathlessness like that required both parties’ consent. Still. He’d remember the feeling of it for a long time. Heat started to climb into his cheeks again. Shiro slapped it away. Walking over to the sink, he splashed water on his face. He needed to cool down. No one needed to know how inspiring the encounter had been. 

[darling-dooju]

Butter, Milk, and Eggs {a Namjin Drabble}

Summary: Namjoon and Seokjin are newlyweds that spend their honeymoon at a grocery store.

Genre: Domestic Fluff, Cheesy Puns, Complete Nonsense

Length: About 2k give or take

A/N: Oh boy, my first ever BTS fanfic oh man oh geez. I hope this doesn’t suck. This was supposed to be short but I got a little carried away so here we are. Huge thanks to my beta @loveisfx you are my moon and stars and I love so much. If you find any grammar mistakes in this feel free to let me know and I’ll try to change it. (oh, and the moodboard was also done by me btw) Have a lovely day/night you sugar plums!✨

Most couples upon being married have a honeymoon. A glorious honeymoon, filled with lovey-dovey dates and often not as much sex as everyone thinks. They’ll spend their hard earned money on all of two, maybe three stays at a hotel (because hotels aren’t cheap and every second there is another second closer to bankruptcy) and look back on their brief yet blissful moments together as one of the best times of their lives.

Namjoon and Seokjin had considered the prospect of this oh so blissful honeymoon, calculated the amount of money they’d probably spend and simultaneously went “Meh”. They just got married! Isn’t the act of marrying itself the blissful, brief moment? Why waste your money at some luxurious location when you could just return to your lives as newlyweds and conquer the world together?

In retrospect, Namjoon and Seokjin should have probably had an actual honeymoon.

 It was 3 weeks post wedding, and Namjoon’s world was falling apart at the seams.  Namjoon had, at one point in time, been dead set on getting a house. A home he could own, his own little world, someplace he’d always feel comfortable living in. He had the money, having squirted the funds needed out of every orifice of his earnings. It was exhausting, it was stressful, but it was done. This mindset was all before he had met Seokjin of course, back when he was just a successful bachelor. Back when he was an English professor at the Yonsei University (amongst his students he was deemed “that professor whose class you can sleep in cuz he never notices”), with a perpetual first draft for what he had hoped to be the world’s most efficacious novel about the dangers of toxic masculinity. Too voluntarily overworked to realize he was lonely, too young and too clumsy to be taken seriously by his peers, and too single-minded to consider that, hey, maybe, the world’s most efficacious novel about toxic masculinity needs some perspective from women?  

 But that was then, this was now.  Now he’s with Seokjin, adorable, cute Print Office Assistant Seokjin, who makes him want to garden and wax poetic about living in the moment. Who coaxed Namjoon’s first draft out of him (Seokjin had smirked and pondered all throughout reading it. Namjoon almost had a heart attack) and because of this was the reason why “Let’s Murder Real Men” written by Ahn Hee-yeon, Park So-jin, and of course Kim Nam-joon became one of the bestselling novels in South Korea.  This meant he was writing full-time, this meant Namjoon was not longer the strapping young professor at Yonsei, but a bestselling writer with a well-known name. He was famous now and easily stalkable thus ruining his dream life of a comfortable relaxing, home for him to live in so now all he wants to do is live in the middle of wilderness cuddling Seokjin in a fort of blankets. No house, never.

 Seokjin is very used to not getting exactly what he wants, but that’s okay, Seokjin’s no quitter, he always gets what he wants eventually.  So right now, with dreams of a big beautiful house with soft pastel pink and gold interiors complete with secret wine cabinets…and a husband who’d rather bite off his own foot than deal with the thought of owning a house, he was simply waiting. Waiting to strike. Waiting for the perfect moment to enact his getting what he wanted plan.  

It took perseverance for sure, with Namjoon finding more and more excuses as to why houses were worse than Satan so it was rather difficult to even propose the idea of moving from their messy shared apartment. First it was the cockroaches he said, homes are more likely to get cockroaches; Seokjin had asked where he heard that from. Namjoon had said from a coworker; Seokjin then said “since when does Mr. Smart Guy not triangulate his sources?” so Namjoon replied with a shrug and a far too cute smile upon handing Seokjin his raspberry hot chocolate and it was then when Seokjin had succumb to the evil seductions of The Namjoon Temptress so the conversation was dropped. Then it was a matter of paying for the rhetorical house, Seokjin had proposed a lump sum payment, as they already had the amount needed, but Namjoon had suddenly decided a monthly rental system was the way to go and there was no convincing him otherwise. Even though it made no sense, considering they already had the money for a house and then some, what was the point of paying monthly? But Namjoon was stubborn, suspiciously stubborn. The worst of his “No House, Never” theatrics being his counterarguments to homes, such as an even bigger apartment, an RV, an actual tree house, or worst yet a fucking cabin. A literal cabin in the woods, probably prone to murder and loud birds. Seokjin was quite annoyed with his circumstances to say the least.

So it was these culminating emotions from both parties that led to the most tension-filled trip to the grocery store. Not just any grocery store, but the big, fancy grocery store an hour away from them because their local grocery store was shut down at the moment when a drunk driver drove straight into the damn building. Their goal was fairly simple; they needed butter, milk, and eggs so they were going to get butter, milk, and eggs in a timely fashion. At the big, fancy grocery store with absolutely no interruptions.

This did not happen.

Item One: Butter

Namjoon and Seokjin had no idea how this big grocery store worked. You would think the big signs indicating where specific ingredients are in each section would be helpful but as it turns out your eyes don't naturally gravitate toward the big signs hanging above you. So Seokjin decided it would be best to just make a loop around, as they’d have to find the butter sooner or later. However, Namjoon thought it would be a better idea to go to the far left of the grocery store, as that's usually where the dairy products are.

 "The best way to navigate a place you don't know is to use the knowledge you've acquired from previous places to find the right path" Namjoon said.

 "But what if the knowledge you've gathered is completely useless in this new situation?"

 "Well, what do you propose we do?"

 "Listen to me always."

 So with that they did a loop around, looking at all the fascinating ways off brand cereals label themselves as name brand cereals without actually ever saying the name brand, eating little free samples gathered around the produce area, and giggling over just how many vegetables and fruits look like penises because they're 9 year olds. This resulted in a penis pun war, with Seokjin always winning because he was indeed the Penis Pun Master.

They still had no idea where the butter was, but Seokjin had found the grocery store's bakery and promptly begged for the store's clearance Valentine's Day themed red velvet cupcakes even though it was March. In retaliation, Namjoon had gotten his weird plain "healthy" morning muffins.

Item Two: Milk

With the dairy section still nowhere to be found Seokjin had thought now would be a good time to try out his getting what he wanted plan, he tried to be subtle about it (well it was subtle to him at least), starting the plan out by saying “Don’t you think shiny hardwood makes the best kitchen floor?” This had led to Namjoon and Seokjin arguing over rhetorical house designs in the middle of the snack food isle. 

 "But wouldn't matte be better suited for the kitchen floor? I mean think about it, it’s rough with an oddly smooth finish. Your eyes assume it will shine but it doesn't, yet in its own special way it does indeed shine, it shines in a rustic, organic kinda way."

 "First off, Joonie, there's nothing organic about a matte floor, it’s carefully cut by carpenters or architects, or whoever it is that makes the floors. Then they're properly buffered to look less shiny by those said floor people. But why? Why ruin the shine of shiny things? They’re shiny for a reason and that reason is shiny stuff always makes things better. Shiny stuff sparkles and I will be damned if you say sparkles don't go well with everything."

 "But don't you think it’s a nice metaphor for our marriage? Not necessarily shining for the world to see, but subtly glowing with beauty in its own unique way? Isn't that what our love is?"

 "Joonie, I would do anything for love, but I won't do matte." Namjoon tried not to smile at such cheesy wordplay, but Seokjin was giggling and Namjoon was weak for Seokjin giggles.

Item Three: Eggs

If Namjoon and Seokjin had ever bothered to just look to the right of them they'd notice that they had already passed the dairy section three times already. It was right by the produce against the wall. However now Seokjin and Namjoon were currently in a very important competition of trying to knock each other's shoes off by stepping on their heels whilst making it seem like somebody else totally did it. Their conversations have veered many places throughout this grocery store run, like what exactly constituted a music box when most music boxes are in snow globes, and if that was the case what constituted a snow globe? And just why is it every single package for hot chocolate had a creepy little girl on it? What on earth were all the creepy little girls trying to imply? 

But inevitably their conversations, like always, finally get straight to the point. Seokjin was getting frustrated by the lack of progress in his plan, so he decided he was just going to go in for the kill.

 "So be honest with me Namjoon, you know full and well I want a house, and I've talked to your mother about it and she's said that you used to be very adamant about wanting a house. Why the sudden change? Is it because you only wanted to live in a house if it was by yourself? Why don't you like the thought of me living in a house with you?"

 “No! No, it’s not that, it’s just...well-” Namjoon licked his lips in contemplation.

 “I-I'm worried Jinnie, I'm worried about getting stalked and having reporters force me to interview them or whatever because I'm all famous now for some reason and it's so weird. Like, did you know, when I was trying to order coffee this morning because we were out of coffee bean packages at the apartment the cashier immediately recognized me?  Immediately! It was so wild, and I didn't know what to do. I'm not trying to sound all fake humble or something, it’s not like getting complimented or being famous bothers me per se, but it's just...weird. It's not something I'm used to. All I wanted to was write a book that would've helped me out when I was just a dumb teenager, but now all of the sudden I'm going to coffee shops and having weird stomach sweat because the cashier wants to know what a 'famous person like me' is doing in a simple coffee shop. And I just worry you won't want to deal with that. That this is like the end of The Graduate and all the adrenaline of romance and grand gestures is gone and you're faced with the reality that you don't like me. Cuz' I'm all weirdly famous and people keep asking you what your relationship with me is like and I just-"

 "Kim Namjoon."

 "Huh?"

 "Kim Namjoon, I've just noticed that the dairy section is right by us so I am going to go over there and get some gosh darn butter, milk, and eggs and you are going to sit there and be happy. You are going to sit there and be happy because I've decided that I will do anything for your love, including get a matte floor, because this whole grocery store has a matte floor and I'm realizing now just how nice it looks, and you are going to be happy because we are going to have a big house, big car, and just generally very big things. A house with colors you like and colors I like complete with a secret wine drawer, and a couch specifically made for cuddling in. Because I love you a whole bunch even though you say ridiculous things like how I might leave you, and that you were once a dumb teenager when we both know every teenager is somewhat stupid therefore none are. Okie dokie?"  

 "Ughhh… yeah okay, okie dokie."

 As you can see, no matter how it happens, Seokjin always gets what he wants in the end. Luckily, in turn Namjoon then always gets what he wants. What Seokjin wants is usually what Namjoon wants as well. Whether he knows it or not.

Turns out they actually had butter, milk, and eggs at home. Namjoon had bought some a day before because he's a preemptive buyer always trying to make sure they never run out of anything. But that's okay because Seokjin will just use it to make cupcakes far better than the grocery store's cupcakes and Namjoon will eat them, face covered in frosting. And the day will be remembered as their grocery store honeymoon, with many more to come. Because their marriage is not a compilation of brief yet blissful moments but rather one very big happy moment comprised of smaller, even better moments.

End.

[throughthetrap-door]

THoughts on the Cursed child

Ok ok ok so it was important  that I write this down these are my feels I am so mad at this play It is as dissappointing as I suspected I just spent most of today reading it when I coud have been doing french!! urghg I am treating it as a mildly ok fanFIction There are many many things wrong with it Gah Ok so 1. It's a fairly ok basic idea for a plot, if you pretend that you knew nothing else about harry potter. And at first you are like yeah this is cool. Like ok, harry and albus have a shitty father son relationship ok I want to know more. Albus is in slytherin, yep ok cool with that. Albus makes friends with scorpius. Cool with that also. But why WHY did the writers have to bring back the same old same old problemos from the past!?!?!?! Like voldemort coming back??? N.O. just no for fucks sake! That complication is quite literally dead and buried. Do you know, I really really hate it when a story has been properly resolved, no cliff hangers, no reason to think that this dilemma will extend into further books, but then the writer (or whoever) is like 'let's make a sequel!' yas yas let's make a sequel but we couldn't possibly come up with another problem for the protagonists to face, oh no, let's just dig the old one up from the past! SO yeah lacking new content and creativity here >:( 2. Additionally, you really had to suspend disbelief with this. Like I said previously, somethings would be fine if there weren't already like 7 books of character development and a whole alternative universe that still has its own LAWS despite being magical!!! I really felt like these were not the characters that I knew (maybe this is due to the fact that they have a few different incarnations in the various stupid realities) especially Ron though, who I felt was reduced to a one dimensional jokester and silly man. With a beer gut, importantly. I know obviously that the characters would have developped over the last few 19 years but srsly you’d expect some recognisability. I don't know though, it's probably largely due to the fact that it is a play, (therefore much description is missing) but also the fact that JK DIDN'T ACTUALLY WRITE IT mhmm which is why I am going to treat it as fanfic and not canon. I mean I've never really come up with detailed headcanons for the next gen, but this nightmare (I was half expecting it to read '… and then albus woke up. It had all been a dream. Thank goodness! He whispered. ALL WAS WELL!!!) ffs 3. Side note: I've come up with a MUCH better idea tbh. Like ok stick with the whole fathers and sons ideas, albus can even be in slytherin (not how I imagined it but hey) and friends with Scorpius. BUT, ok but the focus can be exclusively focused on how shit Al feels as a result of having this mega mega famous father (who he looks EXACTLY like-except without the scar) and famous successful family, and going to hogwarts and not living up to expectations, and feeling a great amount of pressure to prove to the world, but especially his dad that he is worthy of being his son and that he too can live up to his expectations and reputation, not just charismatic outgoing james and happy go lucky lily. And then he and harry can have arguments and shit and he can do fucking stupid heroic shit at the castle in an attempt to prove him wrong, and nearly get killed or something and harry and he can make up and harry can be all like I love you so much and you know james is more like my dad james, but I was actually quite introspective like you, and like you I care so much about my friends and really, all that shit I did, I only did because I had to, and all I ever really wanted was to be happy and safe and to sometimes actually have a quiet life every now and then. Sure I liked and I like adventure, but it sure ain't so much fun as necessary when you are doing it to save the people you love. But most importantly, these huge expectations you have to live up to, they are only coming from you. You may be my son, but you aren't me, you are your own person. Your mum and I love you no matter what, and we will do anything to protect you, even what my parents did to protect me. We love you just as much. You are so precious to us. If I have been distant for any reason, believe you me it was only because I didn't want to put pressure on you.  But obviously that hasn't worked lol. I'm sorry, it was a mistake. I had no proper father to base my own fathering on you know. But Harry (fricking) potter isn't perfect. And I promise from now on that I will explain everything to you. And then albus can be like: sorry for being a little shit, but as you know, it was only because I was afraid of not being good enough. And then they can be all like *tears* awww so sweet happy happy fucking james is still being a cocky shit but families are like that and everything is ok in the end. And there can be all kinds of magical shenanigans without the need for bloody TIMETURNERS goddammit! 4. So. Hem hem. Timeturners. Oh my I have so much to say. But a) all the time turners were supposedly destroyed (I guess these are only the british ones though) but b) this play defies EVERYTHING ever known about time travel in the hp universe. In POA time travel is a closed loop causality type of thing, and it's a bit hard to get your head around but it’s a whole lot more credible than the shemozzle that happens in the cursed child. There. That is all I am going to say on that one. Mainly because I am so done. I could say a lot more, but simply put, that is the cold hard truth. 5. Also the idea of voldy's daughter. See point 1 but also, I abhor the idea of voldemort having sex with anyone, even bellatrix. Again, this is kind of point 2, but from what we know of him, voldy is incapable of feeling anything but hate, rage, vicious pleasure in the suffering of his enemies, fury, sarcasm and that's about it. THERe is no place for love in voldemort's heart, nor joy, or excitement and happiness (cruel satisfaction is about it). As a result, I see no place in him for lust, and I don't know that Bellatrix was into him in a sexual way. She idolised him sure, but nah I don't think she wanted him to sleep with her. Also I just feel that, Voldemort would feel like the carnal pleasures of sex and food were for the mortal world, and thus beneath him and his vast immortatlity. I honestly don’t think that he would have had a child as a back-up plan to that end because a) once he's dead, he's fucking ded, so b) he wouldn't have thought of it because time turners don't work like that!!!! I've never thought about voldemort eating before, but I feel like if he had some kind of magical way to sustain him, and like conjure food directly into his stomach, he would have done it. I can't picture him craving ice cream  or something, like no, he is all powerful, he has not weaknesses, not even for chocolate ice cream from Florian Fortescue's. If he ate, it was solely to keep him alive. His quest for immortality was sad really, because he was so determined and caught up in it’s attainment, he lead a pretty sad and shit life. Like he took no real pleasure in anything. Going back to my point, he didn't want any friends, the death eaters were a means to an ends. I therefore can't see him wanting a partner, sexual let alone romantic and so I think the idea of him having a daughter is highly improbable, if not entirely ridiculous. 6. I understand that this was probably necessary as it is a play, intended to be told in two parts but personally I felt that there was too much in the plot, too many conflicts and resolutions, which made it feel a bit messy and confusing to me. But yeah I guess they wanted to entertain the audience both times. BUT AHA more evIDENCe for it being just a cash cow for the franchise. It honestly would have worked better with less in it and only one play but nooOOO we mUST MAKE MONEYYYYYYYYYY urgh