#this scene is so dark to color i guess they spent all that budget on a led zepp song and couldn't afford any lighting

[becauseofthebowties]

THE WINCHESTERS | 1.13 Hey, That's No Way to Say Goodbye

[shadow-assassin-blix]

Something in Your Mouth

Santiago “Pope” Garcia x reader

A/N: A song fic has been done. This is a Nickelback song (don’t @ me they are my favorite rockband). Warnings: Sex (allusions and some descriptions), BJ, shitty ex. Um. I think that’s it? Maybe some self-esteem issues

Everything tag: @mikeisthricedeceased

Oscar/Triple Frontier tag: @m-123 @artsymaddie @mcrmarvelloki​

Got to meet the hottie with the million dollar body

They say it's over budget, but you'd pay her just to touch it, come on!

Santiago Garcia was not a shy man. If a woman was willing, he’d do anything she was comfortable with. Sex in a public bathroom? Done it. Fingering under the table? Yes ma’am. Vibrating panties with him having the remote control? Hell yes.

However, this is the first time he’s ever been with a girl that was so shy. He met her at a local coffee shop that he had become a regular to. She happened to come in one day, needing some long-winded concoction that he wasn’t even sure was actually coffee, for her boss.

When she got it, she had the misfortune of some asshole running into her and spilling the coffee all over her. Santi after yelling at the dude who dared to get in her face about it, bought her a replacement coffee, and strolled out to his truck to grab an old army t-shirt he kept in there.

“It’s clean I swear, it’s a bit a good luck charm I guess,” He awkwardly explained as he handed it to her.

She took it from him running into the bathroom to change. She had to tuck in the bottom of it into her pants since it was bit big.

She stepped back out and quietly asked, “How can I return this to you? Or better yet, repay?”

“If it’s not too bold, may I take you out on a date? And you can give it back to me then?” He questioned hoping she would say yes.

She smiled shyly, nodding her head, as she unlocked her phone for him to give her his number. He quickly typed it in, sending himself a text as he saved it.

She grabbed the replacement coffee and left a moment later. He texted her that evening and that was the beginning of it all.

Needs to hit the big screen and shoot a little love scene

If Hollywood had called her she'd be gone before you holler, come on!

She worked for a fashion company, currently working as a secretary to the CEO, hoping to one day be able to present her ideas as a creator. She loved to draw; it was one of her biggest passions as a kid. As she got older, she realized she loved fashion as well, and combined the two loves.

She had finished up her degree some months ago and got a job working for a local fashion industry. It wasn’t nearly as famous Prada, Gucci, or Hermes, but the name was recognized as a steppingstone for those companies.

Granted, she thought she would be working in design when she applied for the job, not as secretary number 2. A job was a job, however. She decided that she would grin and bear it until she had her chance.

Running into Santi was strange to say the least. She was sure, so sure, that he was just joking when he asked her out. But lo and behold… that night when he texted her details, she was pleasantly surprised.

They had gone out on a few dates, and while he was always respectful of her boundaries, she could tell he was used to more… provocative women. It’s not that she wasn’t interested in exploring his ideas, it was that… he was the first guy she had dated in a long while that seemed interested in seeing her naked.

She was used to guys getting bored with her after the first date, or when they found out she worked in fashion, they mocked her.

Santi, however, thought it was interesting. He would actually listen to her when she would rant about fabrics or colors. He at one point told her he thought it was adorable.

“It shows your passion. I think it’s cute as hell,” He told one day after a rant in which she cut herself off thinking she was being annoying.

She did eventually open up to him that she wasn’t used to having a man be attracted to her for more than 5 minutes.

He was shocked to say the least, “Who the hell were you dating honey?”

She shrugged, “Jerks. So. I mean… I want to do all those things with you… I just… worry I won’t be good at it? I guess?”

Crafty little lip tricks, tattoos on her left hip

She's bending as you're spending, there's no end to it, so baby come on!

When she said that, his jaw dropped. He wanted to beat up whoever had made her feel this way. He found her shyness refreshing, but not at the expense that she worried that he would think she was inadequate.

“We’ll move at your pace, baby. I like you, for you. I’m not going to drop you like your yesterday’s news just because we aren’t having sex every time we see each other,” Santi assured her, with a kiss.

She gave him a look of appreciation and kissed back more firmly. He grinned at that, cupping her cheek as they kissed.

Dressed up like a princess, betting that her skin smells

Better than the scent of every flower in the desert, come on!

It took several months before she was ready to sleep with him, in a more intimate way. By that point, she had met his friends and their significant others. The girls were all too willing to help her when she asked for advice on what to do or wear.

Frankie’s girl was the calmest and took her shopping to get some nice lacey lingerie. While she appreciated the advice from Emma and Maura (Will’s, and Benny’s girlfriends respectively), she wasn’t quite sure she was up for the risqué ideas they came up with.

Valeria was the one who said to keep it simple. “You two have all the time in the world to explore kinks and such. You do not have to jump into that on your first night together.”

So, the two of them shopped, deciding on a dark blue number that Valeria said would make Santi drool at the sight of her.

That night, she had spent a good two hours shaving and primping before slipping on the barely there thong, and matching corset.

She tossed on a silk robe and waited for Santi to come home. She didn’t have to wait long before she heard the door open and close, Santi’s voice calling out for her.

“Hey babe, where ya at?” She heard him ask.

“Bedroom!” She answered waiting.

She could hear him walk down the hallway before opening the door. He stared at her curiously, taking in her robe.

“What’s happening sweetie?” Santi asked as he stepped further in.

She bit her lip slightly, as she undid the robe and let it slide off of her. His jaw drop as he gazed at her.

He sauntered up to her, his hands hovering hesitantly over her waist.

“Does this mean… what I think it does?” He questioned quietly, not wanting to assume anything.

She nodded with a small giggle, as she stood on tiptoes to kiss him. He deepened the kiss after a moment of hesitation.

The two of them crawled onto the bed, not breaking the kiss.

They spent the night, getting to know one another’s bodies. Learning about each scar, each spot that drove them crazy. It was night that fueled the fire in her; she knew right then… no other could ever compare.

She loves the night scene, bar queen, just living for the fun

Taking over every dance floor like she's the only one

After that night, the two of them were far more open about affection than they once were. It used to be she would shy away when he would kiss her in public. Now, she was used to it, and welcomed it far more. She still wasn’t quite used to the idea of doing anything sexual in public, which he was okay with.

He was just thrilled to know that she enjoyed his attention.

The two spent more time talking about previous experiences, mostly to learn about each other.

“In college I was definitely a bit more… wild child. I went barhopping with friends almost every weekend. Had a few one-night stands, if you can believe that. It was during one of my more serious relationships when I kind of lost apart of myself. He… he wasn’t like… physically aggressive or anything. He just… knew how to destroy every bit of my self-confidence,” She had told him one night while they were having pizza on his couch.

“I am sorry that happened to you. If I ever saw him, I would beat the shit out of him. No one deserves to be treated like that,” Santi said to her kissing her cheek softly.

“Hopefully you’ll never have to meet him. He was… the worst I dated. The others were… just… unsatisfactory. Then you come along… rescuing me from that jerk and giving me that shirt… that honestly kinda smelled,” She teased him slightly.

“Sorry, I was… just trying to help,” He cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Oh! Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like… I appreciated it, I truly did. It was better than having iced coffee on me all day. By the way… do you want that shirt back? I just realized I never returned it,” She said realizing that it was in her laundry.

“Nah. Keep it. I enjoy catching you wearing it randomly,” He flirted back.

She turned her head away, scrunching her nose up in slight embarrassment.

He turned her head back toward him to pull her into a short but passionate kiss.

In the spotlight, all night, kissing everyone

And trying to look so innocent while sucking on her thumb

They had been together for almost a year now. She had begun to feel a lot more like her old self. Felt more confident in her stride, and her work. In fact, her boss had informed her that a position had opened up in design and that she had sent her portfolio down to the lead supervisor to review.

She had just gotten off the phone with him and was super excited. She had gotten the job. She ran to Santi’s place and animatedly told him the news. He congratulated her and said that they should celebrate.

That night, the two of them plus the rest of the gang met at their favorite local pub for drinks and greasy foods. They were happily talking when she noticed someone come up to the table.

“Well, well. If it isn’t little Mouse?” She froze as she heard her ex’s voice speak.

“Rob. What do you want?” She asked not bothering to look at him, as she tried to control herself.

She could feel her hands shaking and it was getting a little hard to breathe.

“Not even going to look at me? Now, that’s just rude, Mousy,” His tone was a vicious tease.

“Get away from her. Now,” Santi’s voice cut in, cold.

“Who the hell are you? Her new squeeze?” He questioned with a scoff.

“Yeah. I am. You have exactly 10 seconds to walk away,” Santi warned him as he stood up.

“Or else what?” He dared.

Santi simply moved to stand between them, waiting a moment.

Rob started to laugh, thinking Santi was just all talk.

Santi punched him so hard in the face that he passed out before he hit the floor. Rob’s friends came over quietly to pick him up and carrying him out, not bothering to try and fight.

Santi breathed heavily through his nose once, trying to calm down before he turned back around.

“Hey, my little Lioness, you okay?” He asked her softly as he leaned closer to her.

She had started fidgeting with her fingers, a nervous tick he had picked up on early on.

He sat back down, pulling her hands into his, rubbing his thumb softly over her knuckles.

Conversation between everyone slowly picked back up, and she soon felt comfortable enough to join in again. She wasn’t as excited, but she tried to push past it.

When he eventually took her home, she collapsed into his arms. Her breathing was shaking as she tried to hold back the tears that threatened to escape her.

He whispered to her, “Let it out, my heart.”

She found herself sobbing into his chest.

When you never pull it out

(So much cuter)

He wished he had done more as he held her. Wished he had strangled the bastard. Here was this beautiful woman, whose confidence he had seen bloom over the past few months, crumble because of 2 sentences.

He whispered sweetly to her, telling her how much he loved her.

The tears eventually stopped, and as she pulled away, she apologized for the mess she made on his shirt.

“My shirts have seen worse things than tears. It’s fine honey. How about we get ready for bed?” He proposed as he led her to the bedroom and started strip down to his boxers.

She nodded, walking into the bathroom briefly to wash her face. She came out wearing his army shirt, joining him on the bed with a sigh.

The two of them fell asleep together, within minutes.

When she woke up, she realized it was one of the rare times, she was awake before Santi. She stared at him for a moment. She wanted to thank him for last night and an idea popped in her head.

She slipped her hand down under the covers, playing with the edge of his boxers briefly. When she had built up the nerve to do so, she slid her hand under his boxers, quicky finding his half-stiffened length. She ran her hand up and down it, enjoying the smoothness she felt as it quickly stiffened further. She slowly pulled it out from his boxers, moving under the covers as she did so.

This was something she had only slightly explored with Santi before. It had been a brief act, him claiming he didn’t want to cum in her mouth.

She gently ran her tongue around the head, savoring the slight salty taste of his precum that had beaded. She slowly took him into her mouth, breathing through her nose, to prevent her gag reflex from enacting. She bobbed her head up and down, her hands massaging what she couldn’t fit.

She heard him moan above her, and felt his hips jerk up slightly. The covers were pushed off her head as Santi woke up, looking down. He groaned at the sight before him; it was super sexy to see her like that.

She continued with her actions until he finally exploded in her mouth; she swallowed a couple times as she pulled away. She wiped the corner of her mouth, as she crawled back up him.

“What was that for honey?” Santi eventually asked as his senses came back to him.

“Last night. I wanted to show my appreciation for you being there for me and defending my honor,” She whispered to him.

He simply kissed her in response.

“I’ll always be there for you and defend your honor against assholes. You’re mine, my lioness,” He murmured against her lips.

With something in your mouth!

You're ripping up the dance floor honey

(You naughty woman)

It took a full month before she was able to shake off the experience. Santi was there for her every step of the way. Santi had taken to calling her Lioness, every chance he got. The nickname made her smile each time she heard it, especially when he was the only one who used it.

“Hey Lioness, we going or you goin’ to continue checkin’ yourself out,” Santi asked as he stepped into the bedroom, wondering why she was taking so long.

She had been staring at herself in the mirror making sure everything looked okay for their date.

“I don’t know. I think I look pretty hot, don’t you?” She complimented herself jokingly, twirling a bit.

He hummed as he stepped forward and checked her out in an exaggerated manner, circling her.

“Yeah. You’re pretty sexy Lioness. Now, shall we?” He offered his arm to her, giving her a flirty smile.

The two of them were going to go eat dinner and then go dancing.

Their meal passed by quickly and soon they were entering a club, music blasting.

Santi led her out on the dancefloor and brought her in close, his hands firmly on her hips. The two of them danced and grinded against one another. She occasionally showed off, twirling around him, bending over backwards, and dropping down low.

He laughed a little at first but soon his laughter turned to choked groans as he tried to smother his arousal as she showed off her moves, purposefully grinding against his crotch.

She was having fun, enjoying teasing him and hearing his grunts. They had been dancing for about an hour before he had enough. He took her hand and dragged her outside into the alleyway.

The cool air felt nice on her heated skin, but she wasn’t able to enjoy it for long as Santi pinned her to the wall in a deep kiss. She giggled softly as she wrapped her arms around his neck, her hands burying into his hair.

His hand snuck under her skirt, massaging her thigh, hooking it around his hip.

“Been drivin’ me nuts all night darlin’. Where exactly did you learn all that?” He asked as he kissed her neck.

“Told you. I went clubbing a lot. Had to learn some moves, to snag a guy,” She said with a soft moan as he sucked on a particularly sensitive spot on her neck.

“Good to know,” He murmured his hips rocking into hers.

She could feel his hard on that she had caused and tried to hide her grin by biting her lip.

She heard him undo his pants slightly and felt her body tremble with anticipation. He shoved her underwear out of the way as he buried his length into her. The two of them both moaned at the sensation.

Their movements were hurried, neither of them wanting to be caught.

All too soon, the both of them were reaching their peaks with happy sighs. The two of them quickly sorted their clothes out, a moment before a group of people walked out into the alley to smoke.

Her and Santi quickly left before the group could notice anything off with them. Santi took her home, joining her upstairs for a much more thorough appreciation of her.

You shake your ass around for everyone!

I love the way you dance with anybody

(The way you swing)

Another couple of months had passed, and they had taken the next steps and she had moved into his place. The two of them having been together for almost 2 years now.

The only thing she really had to adjust to was just how often the gang come over to hang out. At first, it wasn’t a problem, but it had begun to feel like she never got any alone time with Santi when she wasn’t at work.

Today, she had gotten off early, and was texting Santi to let him know, hoping to have a late lunch with him or just watch something together. She had picked up their favorite orders from a local sandwich shop, drinks, and all.

She stepped into the apartment, freezing slightly when she heard multiple voices coming from the living room.

She walked over to the living room, raising an eyebrow. The guys had arrived early that morning, disturbing the happy mood she was in. Santi and she had woken up early, and she was feeling frisky and wanted some attention from him. Before they could get very far, the front door opened and in came Benny with no hesitation.

Frankie and Will had the decency to look apologetic for barging when they greeted her that morning.

“Still… here… I see. Don’t yall… I don’t know… have your own homes to go to… girlfriends, fiancés that sort of thing?” She asked not particularly happy to see them.

Santi winced as he answered, “Hey, sorry, we have a mission coming up. We have been strategizing.”

She nodded, unimpressed.

“Okay. Well. When you remember you have a girlfriend who wanted to have lunch with her boyfriend, alone, I’ll be in our bedroom….” She said annoyed, tossing his sandwich onto the table with his drink as she muttered.  “Making no noise and pretending I don’t exist.”

She strolled into their bedroom, closing the door firmly. She changed into some cotton shorts and his old army shirt, before making herself comfortable on the bed and turning the TV on.

She had taken an aggressive bite out of her sandwich when the door opened to reveal Santi who looked a bit confused.

“Hey… what was that?” He asked her.

She didn’t answer, just pointedly stare at the TV, flicking through Netflix.

He slowly approached her, taking a seat on the bed.

“I understand that they are your friends. Hell, they are basically your brothers. I get it. However, do they have to be here…. everyday at all hours of the day? They came here at 6am and have yet to leave,” She began feeling herself getting frustrated.

She took a breath as she also felt guilty for complaining and shook her head.

“Forget it. Just… go finish your strategizing. Clearly, it’s important,” She stopped, taking another bite as she chose some random animal documentary.

Santi opened his mouth to speak but stopped, sighing heavily.

“It should only be an hour more,” He estimated, as he got up and slowly walked back out.

She made a noncommittal noise in response, focusing on the soothing sound of David Attenborough’s narration.

About halfway through the documentary, Santi had returned, a bag in hand. He took a seat near her again, and quietly unloaded the bag one item at a time. He placed each item in front of her: her favorite candy, chips, drinks. He also placed some flowers and a random plush.

She glanced down at it noticing it was one of those reversible octopus plushie with a smiley face on one side and a frown on the other. The frown side was facing her.

“The guys left. It’s just us. Mind telling me what’s going on in that mind of yours, honey,” He spoke softly.

“I don’t mind the guys being here. I do mind when they just waltz in without knocking. Or are here several days in a row. I get… I get that this is your apartment and I’ve only been living here 2 months but…  I feel like I am just… your roommate. Not… your girlfriend,” She explained, pausing the documentary beforehand.

Santi nodded in understanding, “I see… yeah… This place has been… a bachelor pad of sorts for a long while even after we began to date. I will… talk to the guys. You’re right. This should be OUR place.”

“I feel stupid for getting short with you about this,” She whispered softly looking down at the plush, playing with it.

Santi scooted forward, sitting next to her, putting his arm around her.

“Don’t. I… I was excited to see your texts and was trying to hurry up our meeting so we could be alone, just wasn’t going as planned. You are perfectly allowed to be annoyed. Just gotta talk to me baby,” He told her pressing a kiss to her shoulder and her cheeks.

She nodded somewhat shyly.

“Did you really go out and get all of this?” She asked him, motioning to the pile of junk food before her.

“Yep. I did. Now then shall we finish this documentary, and I’ll make dinner to make up for missing our lunch date?” Santi offered kissing her hand.

She nodded once, “Can we watch the next one in the series too?”

Santi chuckled and said, “Yeah. We can watch the next one too. We can watch whatever you want.”

The two of them watched the rest of the one she began, and the next one. As they watched it, she slowly reverted the octopus to the happy side causing a small smile to appear on Santi’s face.

When the second documentary ended, Santi got up to go make dinner. She followed him wanting to help him prep food. He turned on the radio, which made her smile. As the two of them cooked, she danced around him, shaking her hips.

He laughed at her, as she convinced him to dance a little between stirs. Santi slowly realized it had been a while since they had spent time together, just relaxing. He had recognized that she had a point, since she moved in, they hadn’t really spent time together as a couple.

When a slow song came on, he turned the fire on low, and pulled her in close. He swayed softly with her, resting his forehead against hers.

“I’m sorry I made you feel like a roommate and not my girlfriend. That wasn’t my intention,” He whispered to her as they danced.

“Apology accepted. I just… I love you and I was excited to spend the day with you and was disappointed,” She admitted quietly.

“I love you too. Promise me you’ll tell me if something’s bothering you next time?” He pleaded as the song ended.

“I promise. As long as you do the same,” She said back, as they pulled apart and finished up making dinner.

They made their plates and ate, catching up on what’s been going on with work.

Afterwards, they cuddled on the bed, and ate her 20 snacks together. She slowly fell asleep in his arms as they watched another documentary. In the morning, he was planning to talk to the guys about everything. He knew they wouldn’t care too much about setting some rules and would be understanding once her reaction from early was explained.

And tease them all by sucking on your thumb

You're so much cooler when you never pull it out

It took some time but after that, the guys made more conscious efforts to knock and not be there every day. She had apologized to them for her attitude when she saw them again. The three of them waved it off, ruffling her hair.

“We were being annoying. It’s not a big deal,” Frankie said with a shrug.

The boys with their girls plus baby Isabella were over for to watch a football game, a few days later.

“Yeah. We are not upset,” Will chimed in with a half-smile.

Benny bounded over and gave a loud exaggerated kiss to her head, “MWAH. You’re fine, Prada.”

She shook her head at the nickname that the boys had taken to calling her.

The boys piled in the living room to watch the game with beers.  Emma, Valeria, and Maura joined her in the kitchen, wine glasses all around as they gossiped.

“So… Prada… have you ever designed a wedding dress?” Valeria asked her.

“Not yet. Why?” She questioned curiously.

“Well. I have everything else decided, but I cannot find a dress that I absolutely love you know? I’ve been to 4 different boutiques. Think you can help me out?” Valeria explained, with a tired sigh.

She held up a finger, telling her to wait a moment. She ran over to the desk in the living room that had her sketchbook, fabric swatches, and pencils. She grabbed all three items, rushing back over to the island.

“Alright. Describe to me what style you want, and then we will work on material,” She stated as she got comfortable with her sketchbook and pencils.

Valeria spent an hour describing the dress she was looking for, including fabrics. Once it was finished, she revealed what she came up with. Valeria gasped then squealed excitedly.

“That’s it! Oh… Now the real question… can it be made?” Valeria asked worriedly.

Prada took a photo of it and sent it to one of the designers, who made dresses as a side job, asking if this could be done. A minute later, she got a response telling her yes.

“Yes. It can be done. I’ll set up a meet so you can get measured and get it started,” She tells Valeria who tackles her in a hug.

“Think they can also do bridesmaid dresses?” Valeria asked hesitantly.

“Probably. I’ll talk with him,” She said with a nod.

The four of them continued to talk about wedding plans while the boys continued to watch the game. When the game ended, they had made their way into the kitchen to collect their wine drunk ladies who had been reduced to giggles.

Santi and she said their goodbyes with everyone and collapsed on to the couch together. She had made cinnamon rolls earlier and they snagged the last one. They shared it, not bothering with silverware, ripping off pieces randomly.

As they ate, she noticed that he had some icing on his thumb and she teasingly licked it off. He raised an eyebrow at the sudden intimate moment she created.

“Darling. You are going to be the death of me one of these days,” He said somewhat seriously as he kissed her, abandoning the last of the cinnamon roll.

“Hmm. Yes. But you see… I had a more nefarious plan…” She said ominously.

He looked at her confused watching as she suddenly shoved the last of the cinnamon roll into her mouth and running away.

“Mine!” She called out, her mouth full.

She heard him chase after her, she chewed quickly, swallowing as she reached the bedroom. She coughed a moment when it got caught slightly in her throat. Santi caught up to her, staring at her incredulously.

“Rude. Very rude. Distracting me to catch me off guard and steal our cinnamon roll? That deserves a punishment of some sort,” Santi teased, shaking his head.

She cleared her throat and asked, “Promise?”

He growled a bit, picking her up and tossing her on the bed, her giggles followed by her moans, filling the air.

Life was full of surprises. Santi wasn’t expecting his Lioness to come into his life, but he wouldn’t trade her for the world.

'Cause you look so much cuter with something in your

[muffintonic]

MY CATU LIVEBLOG

I did it for the crossover, so I thought i’d do it for the new movie (Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Candace Against the Universe, for those unaware of the acronym)! 

TLDR: 8/10 not canon, but surprisingly good nevertheless.

Good: character interactions, dialogue (hilarious), everyone was involved, nice use of Chekhov's guns, absolutely EPIC background music

Bad: off-model issues, animation kind of flash-esque at times, the color palette was more like MML than PnF (more saturated and oddly shaded with clashing colors), overly long gags/pacing problems, immersion-breaking/stereotypical sound effects sometimes, some OOC

Ahh, i've missed Candace's singing.

WAIT A SECOND, WHY DOES HER CHARACTER MODEL LOOK SO MEATY (her head shape is blobby, too)

Oh my god, the entire Hirano family a minute in....i'm living.

Hmmm, the pyramid sports thing was from "Thanks But No Thanks," which is a Season 4 episode. In that episode, Vanessa is dating Monty, which only happened after "Minor Monogram" in Season 3. We know that Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension takes place in July after "Candace Loses Her Head" (since Doof's Drill-inator from that episode is scene in ATSD), but also before or around "Great Balls of Water" (since it's July in that episode) and definitely before "This is Your Backstory" (2D!Doof's advice to Doof is referenced)/"Road to Danville" (Phineas' trust gesture is referenced)/"Fly on the Wall" (the summer song gets referenced). LONG STORY SHORT: if ATSD took place in July, when the fridge does CATU take place if we're considering it canon?

Seriously, her off-modelness is super distracting to me. It was fine that she essentially had a triangle silhouette because she also had stick limbs, but giving her realistically meaty limbs makes me question why the rest of her is shaped like that. Bad.

That is some EPIC opening music!

Okay, the weird shading on that clown is also super distracting. PnF's design aesthetic is light and bright....I wonder if the MML people worked on this movie or something (which would also explain Candace's odd meatiness).

Why are all the lines so thick????? It looks like one of those low-budget toonboom or whatever animations Disney posts to YouTube.

Hmmmmm, Doof did the "evenly matched" thing in "Doofapus," too.

OH MY GOD, THE SATURATED COLORS + DARKNESS + THICK LINES ARE SOOOOOOOOO UGLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Bwahahahahaha, that pause when Candace is like "Actually, yes, WTF is it now?" is hilarious.

I like the detail of how all the kids' bikes are lying there in the driveway.

I would've just grabbed Linda's head and turned it at that point, honestly.

Linda is telling Candace calmly that she's exhausted...WHEN DOES THIS MOVIE TAKE PLACE?!!!!

Candace learns by "Sci-Fi Pie Fly" that she can take a break from busting to the betterment of her mental health sometimes....and that's a Season 3 episode. WHEN. DOES. THIS. MOVIE. TAKE. PLACE.

Ahh, i've missed Baljeet and Buford's banter. #oldmarriedcouple

Phineas is like "Candace wasn't having fun this summer? D:" but, like, if this movie takes place in the middle....they sure as heck didn't acknowledge it for the entire rest of the summer. HRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, THIS IS WHY YOU CAN'T JUST RETROACTIVELY INSERT EVENTS IN THE MIDDLE OF A SERIES: WE KNOW HOW THE REST OF THE SUMMER/THEIR LIVES TURNED OUT.

Why is Perry's wrist communicator a square. It's a circle throughout the entire series.

Does Vanessa have a scooter license? Do you need a license to ride a scooter? She was complaining in "Vanessassary Roughness" that she was always riding on the back of Doof's scooter, so I assumed she didn't. We did learn in "Finding Mary McGuffin" that she knows how to drive/has her license in "This is Your Backstory," does that count?

WAIT, WHY IS VANESSA SO PINK???? SHE AND DOOF ARE SUPPOSED TO BE A DIFFERENT SHADE OF WHITE (more coffee-toned) FROM THE FLYNN-FLETCHERS. Goddang, I had always appreciated how even the white characters were all different shades from each other in PnF....what a letdown.

Mmmm, characters either willingly engage in diegetic music in this show ("Where's Pinky?"), or it's just an imagine spot/non-diegetic. "Why do I have a guitar?" is not something that should be said.

Hmmmmmmmm, Candace is faulting the universe.......in ATSD she's talking about the Mysterious Force.....HMMMMMMMMM.....

Sounds like that was what Vanessa used to stop her Evil Busting phase...nice. Also, i'm only ~7 minutes into this movie, but i've spent the last 30 minutes watching it.

Hey, astute observation! That's what I always say: Candace wants to bust her brothers both because their projects can get dangerous ("Happy Birthday Isabella"/"Picture This"/"The Great Indoors"/ATSD/etc), and because she feels overshadowed by them/that they can get away with more than her ("Gi-Ants"/"For Your Ice Only"/"Love at First Byte")!

OH MY GOD, SHE ACTUALLY SAID "...completely overshadowed by Phineas and Ferb?" HOLY VALIDATION BATMAN

Man, i've said it before about Vanessa's deconstruction of Doof's motivations in "Last Day of Summer," but she would make a great therapist or something. I hope she goes into Psychology in the future.

HMmmm, I do kind of wish it was with Stacy that she had this breakthrough with, considering how Stacy's been her best friend since they were 5 years old ("Phineas and Ferb Save Summer")/she's only known Vanessa since "Phineas and Ferb: Summer Belongs to You!" somewhere in June. Like, I get that Vanessa is more in-tune with psychological stuff like this and it makes sense, but i’m just a Stacy fan at heart

Oooh, she's even saying "breakthrough" and "healing!"

UGLY SHADING/SATURATION YET AGAIN (did I mention that the D.E.I. scooter is also the wrong color from how we've seen it before? because it is)

Bwuh, "What Do it Do?" all over again.

Okay, seriously, it looks like the giant thing is floating...where's the shadow under it?? THERE IS NONE.

BRO, THERE HAD BETTER BE MORE STACY IN THIS MOVIE. DON'T TELL ME SHE JUST GETS A CAMEO AT THE BEGINNING.

What did they make her? I want to know!

Ooooh, Candace's hands are way too small in that window shot. The off-modelness is so distracting.

AUGH, PHINEAS HAS A BABY HAND, TOO.

Haha, I love it when debris falls in with Perry when he goes to his lair.

Bwahaha, he's so done with Monogram

They use landlines ("Sipping with the Enemy") and physical files...don't try to tell me that PnF takes place later than 2012 I won't hear it.

NICE FILE PHOTO, CANDY

Wait, they have a whole alert-protocol thing about a host family member getting kidnapped by aliens, but it says to send the assigned agent on the mission??? In "Undercover Carl" and "Bullseye!" Monogram specifically didn't want Perry to get involved (in ATSD Perry was acting on his own), so ????????? Is it because he's their best agent or what?????

Some stuff is missing from Phineas and Ferb's room (on the walls).

GALACTIC WEB???? My first thought was the Galactic Kids Next Door

Haha, oh, these kids. Love little moments like these.

Why do characters always play with a ball when in jail/trapped? 2D!Candace did it in ATSD, too.

Why is that CGI so conspicuous. PnF used CGI sometimes, and it didn't look like butt. We're in 2020, people.

BWAHAHA, Vanessa!!

Ooh, they're bringing back Space Adventure! Now, we know that after "Not Phineas and Ferb" in Season 2 they say they're over it, but also that 9 episodes later in "Nerds of a Feather," Phineas and Ferb go to a convention/dress up from it. WHEN DOES THIS MOVIE TAKE PLACE.

Hmmm, cutaway gags like I remember MML doing...still too Family Guy for my tastes, especially with it being overly long. (I'm also not pleased with how Baljeet's half-lidded eyes goes straight across instead of bending over the curvature of his eye like what PnF usually does....the straight thing is also Family Guy/South Park's style. This does not bode well.)

WHOA, OFF-MODEL BALJEET ALERT!!!!! WHY IS HE SHORTER THAN PHINEAS AND WHY IS HIS ARM BENDING LIKE THAT!!!!

Bruh, Phineas thinking it's dangerous and not asking his friends to go seems OOC. Where was this attitude in "Meapless to Seattle?" In "Night of the Living Pharmacists?" In ANY OTHER dangerous scenario?

I do like how the kids are getting to go with them this time after missing out on ATSD.

NORM?!!!!!!!!!!!

PBBBFFFT, WHY DO YOU THINK GIVING THEM BUFORD WOULD APPEASE THEM

Hey, yeah, they've never made mistakes like this! What's going on?

Okay, seriously, in ATSD and NOTLP the kids don't know who Doof is. WHEN. MOVIE. Also, Doof's lab interior does have the correct items in it, but they're colored + shaded weirdly.

DOOF IS A VIRGO?!! Okay, that tracks with him being incompatible with Sagittarius people from "Love at First Byte."

Mmmm, the animation is definitely more on the "low budget YouTube shorts" level. The way Doof moves....

Yeah, gotta stick to your brand, bwaha!

OKAY, SERIOUSLY, THAT IS NOT THE SAME CHICKEN-REPLACE INATOR FROM "What a Croc!" GET THE GODDANG COLORS RIGHT JEEZ DID THESE PEOPLE NOT LOOK AT A SINGLE MODEL SHEET BEFORE MAKING THIS MOVIE

Bwahahahahahahaha, I missed Buford and Isabella's banter (and Buford is right: they might need a canoe...or maybe that's just my over-preparedness talking)!

Again: "Undercover Carl"/"Bullseye!"

Ah, Buford.

Wait a second, they didn't even have an introduction scene between Doof and the kids like they did in ATSD. *insert thinking emoji here*

Meh, D.E.I.'s been blown up worse before (the "Ask a Foolish Question" time comes to mind)

DOOF YOU ARE THE ADULT SUPERVISION!!!! GAH!!

Wait, what are you talking about Candace? I don't remember a voice automated translator being a thing in the Flynn-Fletcher household. If this is a crack at Alexa/Google Home or whatever, THEY HAVE NEVER BEEN SHOWN TO HAVE ONE OF THOSE IN ALL OF THE EPISODES OF PNF

They could have done a fireman slide, I guess...though maybe the friction would've made that a bad idea.

Okay, is everyone going to get mind-wiped at the end of this or what? Candace didn't even know Vanessa's last name or where she lived in "It's No Picnic," and they definitely didn't seem friendly enough in NOTLP considering all of these interactions. I'm going to count up all the "WHEN MOVIE" comments i've made by the end of this liveblog, and if it's 10+ i'm just going to say the movie is non-canon/just an OVA. I am enjoying it more than the MML crossover so far, so that's good, though.

Haha, oh, Candace. See, this is why she and Stacy are BFFs: same braincell (AKA Stacy's "Elementary My Dear Stacy"/"Put That Putter Away" moments).

OH, CANDACE. XD

OH, SNAP!!!

Ugh, okay, the "WHEN MOVIE" doesn't even matter anymore. Officially non-canon due to irreconcilable timeline a la MML post-2016 reference.

Yay, Isabella showing off her skills again! People tend to forget that she's also smart.

Go, Perry!!

Oh my god, the "unsung hero" being technically sung....good stuff

Oh my god, Perry, nooooo!! Someone save him!

Wait, did Doof purposefully put that platypus-sized spacesuit on the ship for Perry?!! Awwwwwwwww!!

HAHA, BUFORD

Oh my god, Vanessa, noooo!!! D: I bet the pods were sent back to where they came from/Vanessa should've been in the Earth pod.

Goddang, good thing that planet's got breathable air (not that that ever really gets addressed in PnF, haha).

Ah, okay, it took her to the planet the aliens are from. Weird.

Wait, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, these aliens are weirdly humanoid!! What!! PnF was so good about that ("Out to Lauch"/"The Chronicles of Meap"/"Escape from Phineas Tower"/"Sci-Fi Pie Fly")!!

So they were sending out pods looking for a leader? Weird. Also, they already had Candace be the leader in "Gi-Ants"/"Unfair Science Fair Redux (Another Story)."

Wait, they're doing show-tunes, and pretty much only people who are Evil in PnF do that ("Phineas and Ferb Save Summer"/"The Klimpaloon Ultimatum"/most of Doof's songs). I bet they're going to sacrifice her because of a prophecy or something.

Okay, -1000 points for the Floss. I hate it so much. You know what you'd be flossing if you did that with real rope? POOP. GROSS. Bring back Baljeet dabbing if you're going to make a reference like that, dabbing is fun.

Okay, this song is officially going on for too long. I know the overly long gag thing is a Family Guy staple, too. U G H, leave that horribleness out of my wholesome cartoons, please. Goddang, the influence was even in WBB's movie, too (Panda's dead pose). The Horribleness Lovers are infiltrating the animation industry. (How do I know about the Horribleness if I don't watch Family Guy/South Park? From people making infoposts about how horrible they are + reading up on their wikias/watching YouTube analyses of them, of course. Knowledge is power, and you must know your enemy.)

Seriously, open the freaking door. All of these overly long gags are not only unfunny, they eat up the runtime. PnF has great pacing where it's not too fast (Wander Over Yonder was sometimes too fast), but spends enough time on the things that need it. Opening a door is not something that needs time, especially when it's following up an overly long song.

I bet they're going to extract the element from her or something.

I'M PARANOID, TOO

Wait, this lady (I didn't catch her name) seems to be their leader?? Is she abdicating?

So the aliens have a gender binary, too? Is that necessary? Would that be necessary?

Hmm, I know that Doof didn't realize how futile rotating the moon was in "The Doof Side of the Moon" and what a boat was in "Are You My Mummy?" but he tends to be smart about intricate science stuff. Like, the problem with his inators (he even says it himself in "Phineas and Ferb Save Summer") is that he executes them poorly, not that he's failing in other aspects. Like, is this is the same scientist that built a Re-Good inator solely from plane parts in "Where's Perry?"

That cutaway was not necessary.

BALJEET, NO. Also, is it in character for him to be so gung-ho about trying out this unprecedented maneuver? I know he does have a wild side, but it's not usually about science things/throwing things that require this much caution to the wind.

Wouldn't they pass out from the G-forces or whatever?

Wait, what was the point of that alien mammoth getting flung? I mean, I figured that was going to happen to their ship by the way it landed on the mushroom.

Haha, oh, Doof.

XDDDD Buford had better save the day, since he's the only one that doesn't register the ominous tone. If he doesn't that'd be such a waste of the gag.

Haha, Buford. Still my favorite kid. :')

Okay, I seriously can't hear anything this alien leader lady says. It's like she's whispering all her lines with a hoarse throat or half-mumbling parts of her sentences or something. I have my volume turned up, and it's not helping.

Gross. WAIT, ISN'T THAT LIKE WHAT THE CITIZENS OF THE CANDY KINGDOM DO FROM ADVENTURE TIME?

Wait, do they have a farming culture? They were doing something in a field right now.

Hmm, yeah, lots of non-humanoid alien species on this planet alone....did they NEED to make the kidnapper ones so humanoid?

Doof, you even said that there was no adult supervision earlier. XD Isabella's definitely more qualified to lead, considering she's a Fireside Girl Troop leader/her vast array of badges compared to Doof absolutely ruining the Tri-State Area in "Phineas and Ferb's Quantum Boogaloo" and not knowing what leadership entails in "The Beak"/"Last Day of Summer."

Haha, yeah, see! Whip out those badges.

HAHAHAHA, Oh, Doof. I can see him facing front in the card's photo, ahhh, frontal Doof.

DOOF!!! XDD

Oh my god, he took her hat. She looks like she's starting to get pissed....you never want to get on Isabella's bad side. XDD (She knows hapkido/jujitsu from NOTLP)

Oh my god, this song is amazing.

See, songs are okay to be long if they're dynamic: lots of movement between locations, varying camera angles, engaging lyrics, moves the plot forward, etc. Now this is PnF!

Baljeet, please. XD

Oh my god, poor Doof. Yowch! I hope his leg's not broken. D: He's certainly dragging it around like it is.

HAHA, I love how he just calmly zaps it!!! Nice (and a good example of the experience thing he was talking about earlier).

That chicken looks uncomfortably realistic for PnF's style (we've seen Agent C in "Traffic Cam Caper" before and a rooster in "Cheer Up Candace").

They got the farmer's hair color wrong. Interesting that they brought him and his wife back, though!

What's with the sudden cartoony sound effects for Doof falling??????? Bad.

Hmm, the audience seems like they're being mind-controlled.

It can't be the first time ever, since she was a star in "Flop Starz"/"Run Away Runway"/"Lights, Candace, Action!"/"Unfair Science Fair Redxux (Another Story)"/"Gi-Ants."

For a hot second I thought she was going to ask Candace to marry her or join her family or something.

I bet Vanessa is going to tame that alien dragon! Also, I hope they realize she's not on earth soon.

I bet the gift they made Candace at the beginning is going to change her mind about living it up on the alien planet.

Oh my GOD, Candace has shown repeatedly that she loves and cares about her little brothers. WELP, GOOD THING THIS MOVIE AIN'T CANON.

Like, seriously, if this movie was canon, there's no way the boys would ever drop the "Candace is unhappy" thing for the rest of the summer.

HAHA, LIKE I SAID: ISABELLA IS TO BE FEARED. XD Also, wasn't it Candace's fault since she sent them away?

"While I love ominous patch-related threats more than anyone--" *AHEM* "Right, apart from Ferb" BOYS, PLEASE. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I'm getting flashbacks to Horde Prime inviting Glimmer to dinner. Also, I almost typed "Glitter" instead of Glimmer right now.

I bet she killed her brothers or had them mind-controlled or something.

Ooooooof, that's ominous.

Aw, Baljeet's so interested in joining Buford's gang.

Bwahaha, Doof looks so interested! I bet he's going to remember the stuff they're listing for later or something.

DID MONOGRAM JUST SAY DO NOT ENGAGE THE ALIENS BECAUSE OF AN INTER-GALACTIC TREATY?? IS THAT A LILO AND STITCH REFERENCE???? (probably not, but i've been getting into L&S again lately)

Meh, Buford and Baljeet survived being eaten by the worm from "One Good Turn." Those aliens will be fiiiiiiiiiiiiine. :P

Were those alien prisoners rebels or something? They have a hidden city, but they also seemed too scared to be rebels.

Oh my god, cubism.

Okay, so they're not rebels, per se, but they resist by....hiding and cowering. Sort of?

MMmmmyep, the show tunes tipped me off. So these guys got invaded by another alien species, huh? OOF, cordyceps vibes

So she needs Candace to be food for the spores or something?

Yep, she's using Candace as plant food.

Overly long gag again. :\\\\\\\\

Okay, so she didn't kill/mind-control them, but she did lock them up. I was right!

I don't know how their alien biology works, but humans can't eternally walk. Candace's legs would eventually get tired/become not able to move until the lactic acid she builds up wears off. She could also develop varicose veins or blood clots from all that standing. Bad move, aliens.

Yeah, Candace would never do something like that! Also, see: it was her fault they ended up on the prison shuttle, not Doof or Isabella's.

Bruh, the rest of the earth gang breathes CO2...did your scanners not pick up on that?

Oh my god, Candace, don't reveal information that could get earth invaded.

Wait, how was she keeping the mushroom alive before? Where did it come from?

Also, WHAT ABOUT VANESSA!!! SOMEONE SAVE VANESSA!!!

Wait, why was the alien lady holding onto the smaller alien's long moustache? Is he her pet?? CONFUSION

Ugh, they don't have to make every single thing a gag. PnF knew when to make moments real/dramatic. Grow a spine and live with the weight of emotional tension, movie.

ANOTHER OVERLY LONG GAG? No wonder this movie is so long.

Wait, is Shego the VA for the alien lady? The way she yelled sounded like Marlene, who has Shego's VA. I'm going to look this up later.

BWAHA, Vanessa hears the ominous tone, too!

I don't doubt that Doof will be able to cobble something together to get them back, but that honestly has nothing to do with "adulting" since Phineas and Ferb could probably do the same, and they're kids.

I absolutely love how Buford's still carrying that canoe everywhere.

YES!!! Haha, yes, Doof, Perry is your guardian angel (and emotional support animal). :')

I KNEW Vanessa was going to tame that dragon!!

Yeah, see, she never has that dragon again, so this movie is totally just an OVA.

OH MY GOD, PULLING A Chowder HERE, I SEE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Yeah, you can see how off-model/pink Vanessa is right here where she's standing next to Doof. She's supposed to have his brown-tinged coloring (just look at any other time she’s next to him--”Finding Mary McGuffin”/”Minor Monogram”/NOTLP/”Hail Doofania!”/”A Real Boy”/etc).

Bwahahahaha, chicken selfie

Oh, yeah, that makes sense. What would happen if they killed the chicken? Does it only switch with alive chickens?

BWEHEHEHEHEHE

Though I don't like the particular scare chord they used when Doof holds up the Axe inator--very stereotypical/they could've composed a new version, like how Candace's leitmotif is technically Ring Around the Rosie, but different.

Aww, why not, Vanessa? It's your best bet home! Although, I guess it would be awkward considering Perry's right there....

I need to see a photo of the Lieutenant Baljeet's talking about here, for....reasons.

See, Baljeet's recklessness in this movie seems more like something Buford-i'm going to randomly mess with this ("Fly on the Wall")-Van Stomm would do

In "Nerds of a Feather" Baljeet cosplays as a Space Adventure character, so....

"You made another boat?! What've I been lugging this one around for?!" NICE, BUFORD, BWAHA

Wait, how on earth did that work? Can hunks of metal just allow something to fly like that? I admit to not knowing how planes work, but at least those have, like, engines and whatever.

WAIT A SECOND, I SPY MISHTI IN THAT MCFREAKING STADIUM CROWD!!! WHAT IS SHE DOING THERE!!! SHE'S NOT A NORMAL FILLER BACKGROUND CHARACTER!!

Stacy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wonder if they meant to put her mom on the bleacher seat behind her, or if it's another Mishti case.

They spelled his name wrong: we saw in "Doof 101" that it's John P. Trystate (the elementary school is named after him)

Beh, nothing bad is ever supposed to happen to Roger, that's the whole point of his character. Bad.

Ah, Bujeet banter.

WHY IS ISABELLA'S ROBOT A CAT THING

They should've made something to kill the mushroom instead.

OH, JEREMY XD Wait, that didn't sound like Mitchel Musso. 

Was he just making those weapons because it's his hobby? Stacy did suggest a compound bow as a gift for him in "Vanessassary Roughness," and there's a bow on the counter

Buford and Isabella banter!

I like the detail of Candace's hair being disheveled and her socks drooping after walking all this time

Aww, does she feel guilty? :(

She does. Again, this movie can't be canon, because they don't acknowledge what she's saying for the rest of the summer and this kind of breakdown would definitely leave a mark on her.

AHA, I knew that gift would come into play!

Aww, that's a cute mug! Also, good on Candace for not drinking coffee!

HMMM, OKAY, SO THE SIBLING HUG FROM "Phineas and Ferb Get Busted," WHICH WAS PERRY'S DREAM, IS ON THAT PROJECTION OF THEIR NICE MOMENTS. TOLD YA: NOT CANON.

Haha, nice @ the new gelatin memory. It aligns nicely with the various things Candace has done offscreen that Phineas and Ferb get a kick out of (getting her face caught in the dishwasher, getting tangled in the clothesline, etc)

The exploding thing is technically a step forward, but, again, the real issue is killing that mushroom. Also, are Doof and Co. still stuck??

"Why does that sound like her name?" "I dunno." BOYS

STACY...JEREMY...LARPING.....Aww, don't be ashamed, Jeremy! Candace does Ducky Momo cosplay, and she accepted your dance deficiency in "Nerdy Dancin'!" I have to say, I love it when Stacy and Jeremy are on the same side, since Candace was sidelining Stacy in favor of spending time with Jeremy for a while (to the point where "Canderemy" happened).

Mmm, I notice a trend in cartoons lately about applying psychology to things. Amphibia, SPOP, Steven Universe...it's nice to get kids used to the idea that introspection is healthy.

DID SHE JUST DIE

Okay, did they just...fly from another planet? The gang went beyond light speed to get back home....there's atmosphere issues....they didn't even bother to try and have them salvage the space suits from the inator even though characters in PnF can't survive in space/always have to wear a space suit (Doof even puffed up in "Out to Launch" when he stuck his head outside without a helmet on, and Perry made sure to put a helmet on him when he was going spaceward in "The Doof Side of the Moon")?

Oooh, okay, furthest chicken. Nice.

Aww, the dragon's shielding them! Reminds me of How to Train Your Dragon when Toothless was protecting Hiccup from the flames

WOW, that is an EPIC remix of Perry's theme music!!! Holy crud, there's not as much background music as usual in this movie, but the music that is there goes HARD.

Bwahaha, to quote Maui: "The chicken lives!"

Oh my god, Baljeet really likes petting zoos? Also, I guess the farmer's last name is McDonald??

Beverly Hills + Beverly Hills adjacent...why XD

The chicken still lives!!

Okay, so she's alive.

Ah, so that’s why the mammoth got flung.

Aw, I wish Jeremy and Stacy had had more of an action scene after gearing up.

Okay, see, this lesson she's learned? How if this movie was canon, none of the rest of the summer would have been possible? MMmmmmmmmyeah.

Wait, so the American police are just taking the aliens?? No special forces or anything?? They're ALIENS.

LAWRENCE, DON'T TOUCH THAT!!

OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!! I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Welp, it took me 5 hours to watch this 1 hr 24 min movie...wowza. I forgot to write it when they occurred, but I didn’t like that the alien lady’s blinking had a sound effect in that one scene or that they used the Wilhelm scream during the final battle. I do wish there’d been more Perry and Doof interactions + some more Stacy, but what we did get was good. There were some pacing problems (too much alien screentime), but the excellent interactions between the PnF gang made up for them. Also, I genuinely laughed at at least two handfuls of moments! Anyway: a good movie!! I'm shocked--i'm so picky, and I haven't liked anything since "Last Day of Summer!" I mean, it's definitely an OVA/not canon, but still!! Solid 8/10.

[bettycooperoutfitwatch]

4x05 Chapter Sixty-Two: Witness for the Prosecution

Be forewarned: Sweater discourse. 

(I merely include this moment because Betty is technically in the frame.)

But contemporary Betty begins the episode in a pink-and-white knit top with short sleeves. She’ll end the ep in a pink-and-white knit with short sleeves, too, but standby.   

Betty wore this knit top to help Jughead torch the trailer-turned-Fizzle-Rocks-lab. We get a better glimpse this time around (glad to know it survived all that soot and ash and car sex.)

Love the little two button-detail on the rear-sleeves.

Ten Little Boy Scouts. 

Well! I guess you gotta dress the part. 

Off the top of my head, I can’t recall another instance of Betty in this very true-blue shade. It’s more of an Archie color. But the FBI has a brand, so. 

(It’s delicate. But potent.)

We get such extreme and vivid close-ups during Betty’s serial-killer-savant moment that I felt compelled to include them. Love the eyeshadow.  

She pairs the Junior FBI polo with a dark skirt (possibly high-waisted shorts, but I’m leaning skirt.)

The Legend of the River Witch. (In red.)

(Bret wears black crew socks, he’s the worst.)

Purple and green! Betty’s all over the range in this episode, fittingly. The ribbing and the scalloping of the pink collar are all motifs we’ve seen before. It reminds me of the scalloped and ribbed top she wore in 219.

Purple pants though, that’s new!

This is the first we’ve seen the bag, but it is a cousin of sorts to the one that appeared during the Stonewall tour in 402. 

The existence of a Dr. Patel in the Riverdale universe leads us to conclude, logically, that somewhere out there in the greater Maple State there exists a Raj Patel. (But when was Riverdale ever logical?)

Betty’s the only girl in this Junior FBI Program (so Kevin’s odds of finding a gay guy here are decent-ish?), but she seems to be the only one with a kid size polo. 

Girl zooms right outta there in her white tennies. 

I love old yearbooks. I cannot tell if he is épée or foil, fencing squad pls come thru (I actually think it might be inconclusive given so much of the diff is in the weight of the weapon, no?) 

FPJ I could get it. LOOK at that James Dean curl. That Jones fam furrowed brow. The out-from-under gaze. 

(Also, these names.)

Betty’s subconscious! We haven’t really been here since 209? Lots of visual 209 connections in this episode... Betty spent 209 trying to hunt down and stop the Black Hood, and when she and Archie seemingly finally did...she felt like it wasn’t the end of the story (and she was right.) 

Anyway—short overalls are a Betty classic at this point, and she’s paired them with a pink t-shirt and her pink low-tops. 

405.

209.

I’m not going to engage with the fact that she’s wearing a bra/lette to bed (this is such a network TV thing)—but these two shirts are really similar. Their color difference might just be slightly too disparate to be down to a difference in color grading—but I do think we’ve all noticed a difference in the color and light in season 4 versus season 2. (Oh how I long for the clear tones of season 1, if only for the clarity of screen caps.)  

I love this whole party scene, but doesn’t it feel like it might end up being significant beyond this episode? 

Anyway, back to Betty the Serial Killer Whisperer. 

It’s a good thing she didn’t burn them when Alice suggested it. 

Yellow Keds. 

Heart earrings 💙 Or triangles, idk. 

Little Betty! At one point, pink-and-red seemed to be connected to Betty’s relationship with Archie, but here I’m honestly not drawing those kind of conclusions. This scene has a different purpose. 

Little Betty’s wardrobe is consistent between Teenage Betty’s dream and her retelling of the Caramel Incident to Kevin. Of course, it’s simply easier to have a single wardrobe for these things, but Riverdale’s made the decision to mix it up before (albeit on higher budget episodes.)

Let’s interpret this costuming consistency as the narrative giving Betty the benefit of the doubt. She’s able to see some things clearly, even if she’s repressed some deeply upsetting shit her father forced her to do. I’m having Old Yeller flashbacks. 

I don’t even know if I’m implying anything, I just really like the visual parallel and that I’m being forced to think about it. 

The Haunting of Maple Manor.

👀

Again with the 209 echoes. 

The Secret of the Old Windmill.

(only $1.95!)

“Lil Forsythe III”

It perhaps takes a special kind of zeal to take your half-brother’s confidence that he, too, possesses the serial killer genes and decide not that it means you’re gonna be just fine—but that instead, he’s sus. 

But I dunno, gotta break some eggs in order to make an omelette, etc. 

I’ll just repeat that genes are not destiny.

Stripes, ribbed knit, short sleeves, pinks and blues—all very Betty. 

However, not sure we’ve ever seen Betty in a baseball cap before, even in previous investigation modes! 

I think this might be her purple non-investigation jacket that we first saw in 213 (and most recently in 314.) It’s the sturdy jacket she wears when she finds herself in...less savory efforts, shall we say. 

But! Another flash-forward!

Poor Archie.

“What’s happening?”

“Wait are we getting up?”

“Okay okay I’ll get up too.”

This sweater is, apparently, divisive. I’ve actually already talked about it a bit in response to an ask. It reminds me of something a Sweater Girl would wear, and I find it really interesting to consider Betty in that context. A sweater is ‘wholesome,’ but a Sweater Girl is seen as sexual—and therefore as something dangerous and corrupting. A patriarchal society fears nothing greater than a woman with some agency. FP storms into this classroom and declares Betty—this whole trio—to be under arrest for murdering Jughead.

This sweater is a bit like Archie’s dial television, or his rotary phone. It’s almost so anachronistic as to be noticeable. 

To be brief—there’s something about this sweater and the context of this scene that gives this whole flash-forward a very strange vibe. 

Everyone is so shifty-eyed, they have no poker-faces. FP barges in here with two goons behind him, shot Wes Anderson-style. There’s a comics vibe to it. Coen-esque. 

But also I just think it’s something Betty would wear: it’s pink, it’s got a Peter Pan collar, it’s got some lace trim. It’s Betty Cooper in disguise as Betty Cooper, and it’s not the first time she’s tried that. 

Summary: I think I’ve got a count of 9—that includes 3 separate instances of the Junior FBI uniform, Teenage Betty’s dream outfit, and the flash forward—but doesn’t include Little Betty. So let’s make it 10. 

Is Betty a River Vixen??: Again, just on Jug’s wall 

That backpack?: Yes, multiple appearances of Backpack 2.0.

The floggingink Memorial Peter Pan Collar Count: The Sweater!

Best outfit: u know wut I’m gonna be staunch and say The Sweater. (I also really love V’s floral crop top in that scene.)

[ldarchive]

oc interview meme~

The rules: Answer the following questions as your OC of choice.

I chose Ari. The thing is, Ari hates talking to reporters -- if you hit on the right topic you might get an impassioned rant out of him (see: that scene in ME2 where Shepard starts listing all the ships that went down at the battle of the Citadel), but generally he’s pretty tight-lipped and brusquely Professional. So for this meme I sorta imagined him in like a semi-formal environment where he’d be more comfortable, like maybe if one of his friends was interviewing him or something... I’ve put too much thought into this, whatever!!

1. What’s your name?

Ari Shepard.

2. Do you know why you are called that?

I never got the opportunity to ask.

3. Are you single or taken?

Pretty sure it’s common knowledge that I’m married. The krogan guests at the wedding wanted to eat the reporters, but my husband said no.

4. Have any abilities or powers?

I used to run into stuff really hard for a living. Not sure how much of a talent that counts as, but they keep putting me in the news vids anyway.

5. Stop being a Mary Sue.

Hey, Kaidan told me about that while we were watching Star Trek once! Really not sure I count, though. I’m just some guy. And not fictional.

6. What’s your eye color?

Blue.

7. How about your hair color?

Blond. Well, black. Usually somewhere in-between that.

8. Have any family members?

Sure, lots. My semi-successful diplomacy career did very little to prepare me for family reunions at the Alenko commune.

9. Oh? How about any pets?

We have a dog. Laika. Her adoption papers told me she’s the goodest girl in the whole galaxy. She’s a purebreed, I--we needed a dog with a certain temperament, you know, they’re very carefully vetted. But she’s not spoiled. OK, I can feel my husband rolling his eyes at me: she’s spoiled. But only because she’s earned it. Kaidan named her.

I have a lot of fish, too. They’re more high-maintenance than the dog, believe it or not. 

10. That’s cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don’t like.

Uh, sitcoms. People on public transit who look at me funny. Reporters, especially if they try to bug me when I’m with my kids. Seriously, cut that [redacted] out. Distance. Uh, politicians--heh. I could go on. 

11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?

You know, I’m an alright cook. I make a mean pot of soup. Yukagejang is a big comfort food in my house--it’s an old recipe. I usually make a big pot for the kids if Kaidan has to go away on business, but then he’s sad because he doesn’t get to have any. Heh. I grow a lot of the vegetables myself, too.

I have a music collection, too. Physical media. Very old-fashioned, but I lost a lot of my files some years back, and some of that stuff I was never able to find again! That haunts me. There was this one Batarian band... anyway, I’ve been hesitant to add more to it because our home is slowly being overrun by a frankly unsustainable number of kids.

(Editor’s note: Commander Shepard and General Alenko have two children.)

12. Have you hurt anyone in any way before?

I beat Garrus at a sniping contest once. I don’t think he’s ever forgiven me for that.

13. Ever… killed anyone before?

I feel like answering this would violate some sort of military doctrine or Council non-disclosure clause. I really don’t need the Spectres after me - I’m married to one, and that’s bad enough. 

14. What kind of animal are you?

Well, my name means “lion.” I’ve never given that one much thought, but the recruitment posters got a lot of mileage out of it.

Something I heard a lot during the Reaper War, and the aftermath, was that people felt like caged rats. Or their culture’s equivalent. That the Reapers were treating us like filthy little vermin to experiment on and then exterminate. But, you know, I’m from New York, so I’ve always known that rats are mean little [redacted] and that they can absolutely bite back. 

15. Name your worst habits?

...I’ve been a smoker most of my life, so I guess my worst habit is that I’m too damn persistent to give up on anything.

16. Do you look up to anyone at all?

Well, my husband is the only human Spectre. Pretty cool gig, right? Very inspiring of him.

...I think Captain Anderson was the first person whose respect I honestly wanted to earn. That was near twenty years ago, and... that hasn’t changed.

17. Are you gay, straight or bisexual?

I’m gay. If you’re trying to ask me out, formal inquires can be sent to General Kaidan Alenko, c/o the Garneau Academy of Biotics, Vancouver-- 

Kiddos, if you’re reading this ten years from now, that was a joke. Also, don’t you have anything better to do than read old interviews about your dad? Finish your homework.

18. Do you go to school?

I’m self-taught with most things. That sounds more respectable than a straight “no,” doesn’t it? I guess this is where I would I say I went to the school of hard knocks, if I was someone who wasn’t funny. Got some pretty remedial tutoring when I joined the Alliance, but that’s about it, unless you count ICT -- which, actually, yeah, I think ICT should count. 

19. Ever want to marry and have any kids one day?

I already did. Didn’t think I would, honestly, but here I am. Life takes you weirder places than you’re even capable of imagining.

20. Do you have any fangirls/fanboys?

There’ve been a few. I appreciate the sentiment, but... heh, actually, no, I don’t.

21. What are you most afraid of?

I think the benefit of having survived a major war is that we have the option to not let fear run our lives anymore. That being said, I’m afraid of the usual mundane stuff. I don’t think it’s very interesting to hash out.

22. What do you usually wear?

I think I dress pretty practically. Durable clothing is great if you’re in the military or are just being assaulted by two toddlers daily. And if you buy everything in monochrome it always matches... Kaidan’s mom really hates that.

23. What one food tempts you?

Anything spicy. Spicy noodles. There’s this great noodle stand on the Citadel we still eat at, but they’re not paying me for an endorsement and I don’t want people crowding me out, so you can figure out the name yourself. It’s the ultimate hangover cure. Not that I would know.

24. Am I annoying you?

Yes, but luckily I’m too polite to say anything.

25. Well, it’s still not over!

I’ve got a hungry dog at home, you know. And two children.

26. What class are you (low/middle/high)?

I spent the first part of my life totally penniless, so it’s weird to say I’m towards the higher end now. It is something I try to be mindful and make good use of... it’s just nice not to have to worry about feeding or clothing my kids. Beyond that, a lot of it goes to various charitable causes. And, well, my husband’s hair gel budget.

27. How many friends do you have?

Too damn many, honestly. You ever tried hosting a party for dozens of people with dextro/levo options, biotic-proof furniture, and enough room for multiple krogan? It’s not easy!

28. What are your thoughts on pie?

You haven’t lived until you’ve tried Mom’s--Kaidan’s mom’s--apple pie. But luckily I married her son and not you.

29. Favourite drink?

Coffee and red wine. Water. Whiskey isn’t bad either.

30. What’s your favorite place?

I’m boring now, so I’ve come to appreciate quiet places and being alone. Well, alone with my family, but they don’t count.

31. Are you interested in anyone?

I would not voluntarily wear a three-piece tuxedo and invite a bunch of people to gawk at me telling a guy I love him unless I was really, really interested.

32. That was a stupid question…

Just a bit, yeah.

33. Would you rather swim in the lake or the ocean?

There’s something about lakes that still kind of skeeve me out. I’m a city boy, so I always feel like I’m going to step on a leech or something. The ocean is nice, though, I grew up on the water. You couldn’t swim in it unless you wanted radiation poisoning, of course, but it was nice to look at. The beaches here on the west coast are pretty fun and not majorly toxic as far as I’m aware.

34. What’s your type?

I guess I’ve always dug the tall dark and handsome thing. Don’t tell Kaidan that, he’s obnoxious enough already.

35. Any fetishes?

Nothing I could talk about in an article my kids might read one day while avoiding their homework.

36. Camping indoors or outdoors?

I don’t think camping “indoors” is really a thing. That’s just staying in a house. Come on, don’t say you’re going camping if you’re going to be a lazy [redacted] about it.

[dipulb3]

Vizio M-Series Quantum TV review: Lots of TV for less than you think

New Post has been published on https://appradab.com/vizio-m-series-quantum-tv-review-lots-of-tv-for-less-than-you-think-2/

Vizio M-Series Quantum TV review: Lots of TV for less than you think

When you buy a new TV a crucial decision is how much you’re willing to pay for improved image quality. Just about any cheap TV these days delivers a “good enough” picture but if you want to realize the benefits of the best-quality sources — specifically 4K video with high dynamic range and gaming-friendly extras — you’ll need to spend more. The Vizio M-Series Quantum offers step-up features that let it outshine cheaper models, but it remains eminently affordable.

Like

Affordable

Excellent picture quality

Supports variable refresh rate

Don’t Like

Lackluster smart TV system

Mediocre remote

Worse performance than some more expensive TVs

In my side-by-side tests, the M7 couldn’t match the picture quality of my favorite TV for the money, TCL’s 6-Series, but it also costs a lot less. It’s bright enough to bring out highlights in HDR and still put out relatively deep black levels, resulting in an image with plenty of punch and contrast for the price. And it’s the cheapest TV on the market with Variable Refresh Rate, a gaming feature found on PlayStation 5 and Xbox Series X/S (and some video cards) designed to reduce tearing and other artifacts. The M-Series also comes in a wallet-friendly 50-inch size, while most good-performing TVs start at 55 inches. Add it all up and you have an appealing package for anyone who doesn’t want to spend up for the TCL.

Design

Externally there’s not much to differentiate the M-Series from other TVs on the market. Its color is all matte black, with a slim plastic border on the top and a thicker, metallic bottom edge above spindly stand legs. The look is decidedly middlebrow.

Vizio’s basic remote got a facelift this year, with more rounded keys and a prominent “WatchFree” button to join more recognizable streaming service shortcuts such as Netflix, Hulu and, uh, Redbox at the top. Otherwise it’s pedestrian-looking with too many buttons, and I prefer the simpler, more focused clickers of Roku or Samsung. 

The company has made more changes to its SmartCast system but again it falls short of Roku or Android TV, or even LG or Samsung’s proprietary systems. The main home page is packed with TV show, movie and channel suggestions you probably don’t care about, and the stuff you’ll probably use most — the streaming apps themselves — are denigrated to a single row.

Although the platform now has 64 apps, including most major names, it’s still missing heavy hitters like HBO and HBO Max, Sling TV and ESPN. And finding new apps is a pain: Instead of a simple channel or app store that lets you search for, add and delete apps, you have to scroll the row through to find what you want. You can arrange app tiles to taste but I was also annoyed that none of them can be deleted. 

The search function in the upper left of the home page only finds TV shows, movies and videos, not apps themselves — I searched “HBO,” for example, and the most relevant results were YouTube videos. In its favor, search results do span different apps including Apple TV, Disney Plus and Amazon Prime, but they don’t include Netflix. Roku’s search is much better in general.

To watch any of the hundreds of apps that aren’t part of Vizio’s on-screen system you can use the cast function on your phone to connect to the TV. The TV supports both Google’s Chromecast function and Apple’s AirPlay. The M-Series doesn’t have any voice capability built into its remote but the TV will work with Amazon Alexa and Google Home speakers.

Key TV features

Display technology LED LCD LED backlight Full-array with local dimming Resolution 4K HDR compatible HDR10 and Dolby Vision Smart TV SmartCast Remote Standard

The M-Series Quantum is one of the cheapest TVs with full-array local dimming — my favorite addition for LCD picture quality because it improves all-important contrast and black levels — but different models in the M-Series have different specs. In short, the M7 I reviewed is less impressive on paper than the M8.

The number of dimmable zones is an important specification because it controls how precise the dimming can be. More zones doesn’t necessarily mean better picture quality, but it usually helps. The M8 is also brighter than the M7, at 800 and 600 nits respectively. I didn’t review the M8 but based on these specs I’m guessing it performs a bit better than the M7, but not as good as something like the TCL 6-Series.

The rest of the M-Series specifications are the same on all models. Quantum dots allow the TV to achieve better HDR color, which was borne out in my measurements. 

The M-Series has a 60Hz refresh rate panel — Vizio’s “120 Dynamic Motion Rate” is bunk. It lacks a setting to engage motion estimation and motion compensation (also known as MEMC or the Soap Opera Effect) as found on the more expensive Vizio P- and PX-Series, as well as TCL’s 6 series. Vizio supports both major types of HDR, HDR10 and Dolby Vision, in the M-Series. So does every other major TV maker except Samsung, which lacks Dolby Vision support.

Here are the M-Series’ other specs:

4 HDMI inputs

1 analog composite video input

1 USB port

RF antenna tuner input

Ethernet port

Optical digital audio output

Stereo analog audio output

New for 2020, the M-Series supports eARC (on HDMI 3) as well as new gaming-centric features, namely Auto Game Mode/ALLM and Variable Refresh Rate. This is one the least expensive TVs we know about that can handle VRR, a graphics feature found on the PlayStation 5 and Xbox Series X/S (and some video cards) and designed to reduce tearing and other artifacts. It won’t be as effective as TVs with true 120Hz input capability like Vizio’s P series (the M-Series maxes out at 60Hz input), but it might be better than not having VRR. We’ll know more when we have the chance to test this TV with the new consoles.

Picture quality comparisons

Click the image above to see picture settings and HDR notes.

David Katzmaier/CNET

While certainly not at the same level as the TCL 6-Series or Sony X900H, both of which scored an 8 in my tests, the Vizio M-Series’ image quality earned a solid 7. That’s the same score I gave the Hisense R8 Roku TV, which is in the same price ballpark as the M7, but if I had to choose I’d take the Vizio’s superior contrast, processing and black levels over the R8’s brighter picture.

I spent most of my side-by-side time comparing it to the TCL and the Hisense H9G, both of which are more expensive. The Vizio fell short of the contrast and brightness of those two sets but in its favor showed an even-keeled, balanced image with good shadow detail and color accuracy. 

Click the image at the right to see the picture settings used in the review and to read more about how this TV’s picture controls worked during calibration.

Dim lighting: In late October The Invisible Man seems like an appropriate comparison movie, so I fired up the Blu-ray in my dark basement and tried to be brave. In dark scenes the Vizio was good but it couldn’t match the inky blackness, or overall contrast, of the more-expensive Hisense and TCL. Throughout Chapter 1, as Cecilia Kass (played by Elizabeth Moss) pads around and ultimately flees her darkened house, the shadows, letterbox bars and night sky appeared markedly lighter on the Vizio than the other two, leading to a less realistic picture. 

Details in shadows were very good on the Vizio, however, matching the TCL — I could make out more of the art and furniture in her bedroom (4:35) on both sets than on the Hisense. Blooming and stray illumination, for example in the pause icon and progress bar from my Blu-ray player, as well as the white-on-black “Two Weeks Later” lettering at the end of the chapter, was also minimal. 

Bright lighting: The M-Series was a decent if not spectacular performer in a bright room. With LCD TVs light output is one of the major things you pay extra for, so it’s not surprising that the affordable M-Series is dimmer than many of the more-expensive TVs I’ve tested. It’s still brighter than budget models like Vizio’s V-Series, but at least one like-priced TV I reviewed, the Hisense R8, is brighter than the M-Series.

Light output in nits

TV Brightest (SDR) Accurate color (SDR) Brightest (HDR) Accurate color (HDR) Hisense H9G 1,239 1,238 1,751 1,498 TCL 65R635 1,114 792 1,292 1,102 Sony XBR-65X900H 841 673 989 795 Hisense 65R8F 717 717 770 770 Vizio M65Q7-H1 595 424 588 480 Vizio V605-G3 200 178 225 193

Vizio’s Calibrated picture mode delivered the most-accurate bright-room picture, which is well worth the loss of nits compared to Vivid in my opinion. The M’s semi-matte screen finish reduced reflections better than the TCL albeit not as well as the Hisense, and was worse than either one at preserving black-level fidelity.

Color accuracy: In its best picture modes, namely Calibrated and Calibrated Dark, the Vizio was exceedingly accurate according to my measurements even before calibration. In the The Invisible Man its image did appear just a bit duller and less saturated than the TCL, however, an issue that could be due more to a black level disparity than anything. As Cecelia sits at the dinner table for example (16:55), her skin tone looked a bit paler than the TCL, and the wood and plants of the kitchen looked less rich. Again the Hisense trailed a bit in color accuracy. In the end all three were quite accurate with SDR and it would be tough to point out differences outside a side-by-side comparison.

Video processing: The Vizio M-Series behaved like I’d expect from a 60Hz TV in my motion tests, meaning it didn’t reduce blur as well as higher-end sets with a 120Hz refresh rate. I’m not particularly sensitive to motion blur, but if you are, a true 120Hz TV like the TCL 6-Series or Vizio’s P-Series might be worth a look.

The M registered proper 1080p/24 cadence but exhibited motion resolution of just 300 lines. Vizio does offer a Clear Action control that improves that number to a respectable 900, but as usual it introduced flicker and dimmed the image, so most viewers will want to avoid it (note that if you have VRR turned on, Clear Action can’t be activated). Unlike some 60Hz TVs there’s no option to turn on smoothing, aka the Soap Opera Effect.

Input lag for gaming was good in both 1080p and 4K HDR, with a result of about 27ms in the Game picture mode — that’s a bit worse than the TCL 6-Series at 19ms but still perfectly acceptable. As usual with Vizio I appreciated being able to reduce lag in other picture modes too, such as Calibrated Dark, by turning on the separate Gaming Low Latency toggle. That yielded the same 27ms result, a big improvement over the 52ms (in 1080p) and 68ms (in 4K HDR) of lag I measured without GLL engaged. 

Uniformity: The M-Series had no major issues in this category, with a nicely uniform image across the screen and little or no variation at different light levels with full-field test patterns. In mid-bright full-field test patterns it showed a bit more variation than the other two, but in program material differences were tough to discern. From off-angle — seats to either side of the sweet spot in front of the screen — the Vizio didn’t maintain black level fidelity quite as well as the other two, although it was roughly good at maintaining color.

HDR and 4K video: As usual the biggest differences between displays emerged when I fed them the highest-quality HDR video, first from the Spears and Munsil HDR Benchmark Blu-ray. The Vizio looked very good with the montage of footage but the TCL and Hisense performed better. Both displays beat the Vizio for contrast — with deeper, truer black areas and brighter whites. In the snowclad mountains, for example, the fields of white and cloudy skies were brighter on both, leading to better impact and pop, while in the night cityscapes and amusement park the TCL and Hisense delivered blacker shadows compared to the grayer Vizio.

In its favor the M-Series kept blooming in check, with minimal stray illumination in dark areas around the honey dripper for example (2:48). Color was also good, with saturation and vividness a tick higher than then TCL especially in reds like the flower (3:30) and significantly more accurate overall than the Hisense, which appeared too garish and unrealistic in comparison.

Turning back to The Invisible Man, this time on 4K Blu-ray, the Vizio again lagged the other two although as usual the differences weren’t as drastic with a standard movie as they were with test material. Dark areas in Chapter 1, for example the depths of the walk-in closet and the go-bag cozy, were again inkier on the TCL and Hisense, leading to better realism. The Vizio did preserve shadow details best but the others were still solid and more impressive overall. 

The biggest difference, however, was in the brilliance of highlights, for example the strip lighting and fluorescents in the tech lab (5:37) — compared to the other two, the Vizio looked much duller, without that characteristic HDR pop. In more balanced scenes, like the kitchen in Chapter 7 (25:38), the Vizio again seemed slightly duller than the others, with more muted highlights and washed-out dark areas like the cabinetry and shelving.

Geek Box

Test Result Score Black luminance (0%) 0.005 Good Peak white luminance (SDR) 595 Good Avg. gamma (10-100%) 2.22 Good Avg. grayscale error (10-100%) 0.73 Good Dark gray error (30%) 0.66 Good Bright gray error (80%) 0.58 Good Avg. color checker error 0.80 Good Avg. saturation sweeps error 0.75 Good Avg. color error 1.03 Good Red error 1.04 Good Green error 0.98 Good Blue error 2.56 Good Cyan error 0.65 Good Magenta error 0.77 Good Yellow error 0.21 Good 1080p/24 Cadence (IAL) Pass Good Motion resolution (max) 900.00 Good Motion resolution (dejudder off) 300.00 Poor Input lag (Game mode) 27.57 Good HDR10 Black luminance (0%) 0.006 Good Peak white luminance (10% win) 588 Poor Gamut % UHDA/P3 (CIE 1976) 97.63 Good ColorMatch HDR error 4.05 Average Avg. color checker error 2.74 Good Input lag (Game mode, 4K HDR) 27.47 Good

Vizio M65Q7-H1 CNET review calibration results by David Katzmaier on Scribd

[rkwendy]

Son PD in the House | Solo

Son Seungwan - Nova Entertainment January 2018 Evaluation - Creative Direction  Concepts Pitched: Girls: FM - Crayon Pop, Freeze - Momoland, Good Night - Dreamcatcher, Closer - Oh My Girl,  Boys: MAMA - EXO, Error - VIXX, Overcome - NU’EST, Bounce - Boyfriend

Wendy’s not going to lie. She’s had some interest in taking part in some artistic direction ever since one of her coaches jokingly told her that it’s a skill that will bring her one step closer to being a future entertainment company CEO. Now that she has the chance to learn a new skill, Wendy is going to take it. She may have gotten into Nova for her singing skills, but she has improved her composing and producing skills as well. She likes to think she’s one of Nova’s more creatively inclined trainees, so she might as well challenge herself and make that leap. 

The lecture discusses how several factors come into play when trying to come up with a concept to promote artists with. It has to be one that fits the theme and mood of the song, as well as the image the company wishes to push onto the artists. One must also consider styling, makeup, choreography, the narrative (if there is any), and of course, the budget they have. However, she has also been told that having connections helps as well despite the lack of funds.  

The instructor then challenges them all to come up with ideas their future groups can possibly promote with. Wendy frowns at the notebook in front of her, contemplating the possible ideas the Nova Girls can debut with. 

From what she knows of the rest of her unnies at Nova, they would all rather die than do a cutesy school-girl concept. Besides, they’re all too old to wear school uniforms. The only ones who can probably pass as high schoolers are Chaeyoung, Meiqi, and herself. She immediately throws that idea out the window. However, somewhat cute concepts are still public-friendly, so Wendy has to think of something cute without being cringe-worthy. She glances over to a moon-shaped clock when it hits her.

OF COURSE. 

She laughs as she remembers the running joke about them being a bunch of Sailor Scouts out to protect CEO Hyun Bin from evil. She scribbles a few ideas, such as each girl having an assigned Sailor Scout and superpower, or at least a corresponding color. Later at home, she comes up with makeup swatches for each of the girls. Since they refuse to come across as too childish, Wendy also suggests that their outfits aren’t the short sailor scout uniforms but sleek jumpsuits. 

The instructor sees her notes during the next meeting. “You’ll have to make a few adjustments,” she says. “The outfits and makeup you’re thinking of are too chic and mature for the sailor scout theme. You will all look pretty, but it throws away the innocence of youth associated with watching Sailor Moon.” 

Wendy’s hopes drop a little bit. So much for her first venture. But this is part of the learning process. “I wanted to try something that was age appropriate for both us and was public-friendly,” she admits. 

“I heard rumors that the young women of Nova would all rather commit some version of seppuku than act cute. I guess they’re true,” the instructor chuckles at Wendy. “However, it’s what the public likes. Now you as an artistic director and artist, have a challenge to satisfy that demand while making sure your group members don’t stage a riot.” 

Wendy sighs. It’s back to the drawing board. 

She stares at the notebook for the rest of the night, trying to think of how she can satisfy what the instructor wants while making sure it’s something the rest of the girls will enjoy doing. ... what if she matches the concept with a song? After all, most concepts are part of the story the single they’re promoting is trying to tell. But what kind of song will fit a sailor scout concept? 

She flips to a channel on TV, watching a Japanese kids’ show in attempt to improve her Japanese. The childish voices and squeals blast against her ears, reminding her of cutesy magical girls and Power Rangers... However, those Power Rangers were also hilarious. As a young adult, she finds herself drawn to the plot despite being a kids’ show... 

HOLY SHIT. 

Wendy looks at her initial proposal, then at the TV screen. She switches out the fancy jumpsuits in favor of Power-Rangers-inspired outfits and boots. The glamorous makeup is abandoned in favor of natural looks.  

When she presents the revisions to the instructor the next day, all she receives in a loud bark of laughter in terms of feedback. “This is a lot more fun than the first one. It’s still not perfect, but this one will give your group a unique flavor if you go with this.” 

“I’d like to see what else you can come up with by the end of the month.”

After submitting their initial assignments, the instructor then challenges them to come up with other concepts to present by the end of the month. They are given random, lyric-less, 30-second tracks to think of concepts for. “You will demonstrate what you’ve learned by presenting four different boy group and girl group concepts. You may include your first assignment in your final presentation. Make sure they are as different from each other as possible.”

It’s D-Day and it’s finally Wendy’s turn to present. This is just like being back in one of her advertising management classes. She has to present the concepts she has come up with. The first track she gets is one that reminds her of those video games Chanshik had tried teaching her to play but she never truly mastered.  

“This magical girl and Power Rangers infused concept works well with the first demo track I was assigned,” she explains. She gestures to her slide, which had photos that she spent hours of Photoshop on. She would have very much liked to ask Seulgi to draw for her, but eight concepts when Seulgi had her own evaluations to think of. She’s NOT going to subject her best friend to this. “The track itself is a fun, quirky sound, with hints of throwback, which is why I decided to assign a magical girl meets Power Rangers theme. It has super powers, fight scenes, and I imagine this to be one that has dancing. It will allow the artists to be cute and fun-loving without coming across as childish, but it will also fit a younger age group without making them seem too mature either. This concept is a free-for-all one.” 

She then justifies her choice of a marionette and carnival theme for the second track easily. “It’s still fun, but it lacks the quirkiness of character the previous track has,” she adds. “The opening notes were too similar to what I heard at carnivals or circuses I attended and watched back in Canada. The marionettes concept is because Nova trains us to have good control of our limbs, and it might come out well in the choreography.” One instructor asks about her opinion for a lead character in the music video. “I think it would be nice to have either an established Nova sunbae or one of our popular male trainees with acting skills to make an appearance to support us.” When asked for suggestions, Wendy smiles. She also thought of this one. “MYNAME Chaejin sunbaenim, if not he, then Seyong sunbaenim.” She had to think strategically, which member was most likely to draw in music video views? As far as she knows MYNAME Chaejin and Seyong sunbaenim are the members best recognized for their acting even if Wendy’s heart says Insoo sunbaenim is the best and just needs to be given real acting jobs to prove himself. 

The third track she was assigned is a mellow, bordering on eerily calm. “I’m thinking of grown-up fairy tales for this one,” she says. “After all, most of these original fairy tales weren’t written for children, but for adults.” The track itself is almost dream-like and nostalgic, wishing for days that have been long gone. She explains this much. “It’s feminine and delicate. It is age-appropriate for younger performers and it is classy enough for the older performers. The stories I’m thinking of incorporating include Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, maybe a little bit of Greek mythology. Perhaps one girl to be the lead, while the rest are supporting characters." She then moves on to the slide that explains the concept of time. “I’m thinking that the narrative is about the passage of time, and the symbolism to go with the video can reflect it such as trees, clocks, and other things. The fairy tale element gives it a nostalgic, but still feminine feel. More than anything, I think this concept can be a reflective one... The nostalgia for lost youth...” When questioned why not use an actress to portray the character, Wendy simply smiles and has an answer she hopes is good enough. “Our members’ ages are fairly diverse. There’s a clear distinction and age gap between the eldest and the youngest. It’s not like we’re all the same age, I should think. Some of us have already lost the innocence of our youth some way, somehow...” Most of them, especially the unnies, have experienced hardships both in and out of Nova that have taught them to grow up faster than was expected. However, some of them also live pretty sheltered lives, thus preserving some of their youthful innocence. There will be a point that they will all wish for that youth again. “I think this is a concept that can speak to older fans, without alienating the younger fanbase.”            

She tries not to look at the panel of coaches when she prepares for her last track and concept combination. The rock-based track with electric guitar and drums is without a doubt the most fun Wendy had when coming up with concepts. Pop-rock is one of her favorite genres, so it’s not surprising she'd want this song for a future album. Concept-wise, she has a feeling that this might be the one the rest of the girls will also favor. “For this one, I went with a Gothic, Victorian horror-movie story,” she says. “I see the performers wearing black lace dresses and dark, almost vampy makeup. We can also go with the doll-like innocent look, which is a stark contrast to the story.” She puts up the next slide. “For this one, the story is about a group of spirits toying and messing with the head of a trapped human,” she narrates. “Eerie concepts are usually the soft type, yes? In this case, I’m thinking that the electric guitars and drums show how women are still powerful despite being trapped in unfavorable circumstances.”

Her boy concepts are up next. She presents a supernatural theme for the track that reminds her of that film The Priest. It’s violin heavy and sounds rather grand, so Wendy suggests assigning each Nova Boy to a superpower and that those powers can carry over to future concepts. There is heavy emphasis on them needing to wear cloaks that could make the dementors in Harry Potter jealous. 

Wendy is also aware of the running joke that outsiders think Nova trainees and artists are robots, which is why she pitches a robot concept. Particularly a dramatic concept that involves a scientist, his lover, and cyborgs. Wendy had two versions, a public-friendly, heterosexual love line and a yaoi love line. “I was thinking that it’s time we start acknowledging that LGBTQA+ people exist in society,” she admits when questioned by the panel for her choices. “It’s not for shock value, but this is to send a message that love is love, regardless of preference.”     

She also pitches a concept for wandering knights who go on a quest for their queen, and a darker version of Alice in Wonderland for her final two concepts.  

“You went the fictional route for the boy concepts,” one mentor said. “Most of these can spawn... fan-created material. Is this your goal? After all, we are aware that fans seem to write and draw the male members they see as a couple...” 

Wendy refrains from chuckling at her panelist. It’s also not a secret that she’s read real-person fanfiction. After all, it has become a part of fandom culture. However embarrassing it is to read about yourself in fictional scenarios and hypothetical relationships with your members, as idols, they also perhaps have to give the fans what they want once in a while. Wendy remembers how some of the best fanfiction she’s read were inspired by concepts the artists were promoting with. She’d love to have played a part in fueling the fans’ imagination and honing their own talents in art, writing, and any other medium fans unleash their creativity. 

“I personally see fan-created content as their way of expressing how much they love and admire their idols,” she admits. “To be able to come up with a concept that fuels their creativity to write beautifully worded, moving novels or to home their drawing skills would be an honor as a creative director.” 

[wanderbitesbybobbie]

HONG KONG: NIGHT MARKET STORIES AND FINDING PANDAS

WARNING: If you are looking for a HONG KONG FOOD AND TRAVEL GUIDE AND ITINERARY, THIS IS NOT IT. That’s in another post, but, this narrative will definitely take you to the side streets of Hong Kong and offer some laughter along the way. I promise. 🙂

The immigration officer at NAIA took our passports, did a quick background check, and suddenly stared at me and my 20-something-year-old niece, Melissa. I only had a few hours sleep the night before. As this flight via Philippine Airlines, was an early morning flight, I finished packing at around 12 midnight and woke up at 3:00 AM to catch this flight. I blinked at the Immigration Officer. “Are you traveling alone?”, he asked. It was Melissa’s first time traveling around Asia without her parents, and for some reason I felt responsible for her. But this particular immigration officer probably thought we were domestic workers, trying to enter Hong Kong without proper working permits. I mean, it was really a thing during that time. Young women, about our age, twenty-something or older, disguised as tourists travelers, entering Hong Kong and then overstaying. These women were very prone to human trafficking, so immigration officers tend to be extra stricter when it comes to Filipino women travelers. We felt judged, but luckily we weren’t alone that time. “No. We are traveling with my Mom.”, I quickly replied and pointed to my Mom standing next to us beyond the Yellow Line. She then stepped forward, handed her passport, got our passports stamped, and the IO finally let us through. Whew!

Melissa and I planned this Hong Kong Trip together. This wasn’t my first trip to Hong Kong, but out of the many travels I took there, this was one of the most memorable. M and I are both fond travelers. We travel around the Philippines either together, with our families, or with our own sets of friends. We spend our weekends by the beach, getting tan lines and grilling sea foods with the ocean as our back drop. But this time, we wanted to upgrade our travels and spend some time overseas. She asked her Dad if she could go and he said yes to one condition, ONLY IF MY MOM WAS COMING WITH US. Her Dad (my cousin-in-law), automatically called my Mom and asked her if she could “chaperon” us because he was in Singapore that time. “Auntie, the two are planning to travel to Hong Kong. I told M I would allow her only if you are with them.”, that was her Dad’s request, to which my Mom pleasantly obliged.

Both our families and our friends know that we somehow create “mischief” when we are together, let alone traveling overseas by ourselves together. It’s not the serious type of trouble that we “accidentally” create, but mostly something our friends just usually laugh off. SO, NO. There was no way our families would allow us to go by ourselves. But, that was back then. Solo traveling is a different story for us now.

Anyhow, my Mom loves Hong Kong, so every time you would ask her if she wants to go, she would say yes. Not only because she loves the food there, but because Hong Kong is a familiar place to her. She lived there for a couple of months for work, and she would always tell me stories of how it was to reside there.

Fine. We were going with Mom. It’s settled. So through Mom’s trusted travel agent, we booked our tickets, planned our budget and itineraries, packed our bags, and took that flight. It was me, Mom, and M this time. It was probably my third or fourth time to Hong Kong, but each travel is way different from the other.

THE TRANSPORT

Traveling around Hong Kong can be complicated if you don’t know exactly where you are going. There is always the Tourist Octopus Card which costs about $39 HKD ($8 AUD, P250 Php). It is similar to Sydney’s Opal Card, which you can use to pay for your bus rides, trains, and ferries. But HK Octopus Card can also be swiped for dining, shopping, and other activities. Another means of transport is the ever dependable taxis hovering around the usually busy streets just waiting to be flagged down. But note that taxis just like in any cosmopolitan city can be very expensive in Hong Kong. But if you are going somewhere really far from your hotel, riding a taxi can possibly be the most convenient way. The drivers usually speak and understand English well, and they are honest, compared to taxi drivers from other Asian countries.

Anyway, since our hotel is in the middle of Mongkok, we usually just walk around town to get where we want to go. Except if we are joining some group tours, then we have to ride the tourist bus with around 10 to 15 other people in the tour group. On this particular trip, we head out early even if we have no scheduled tours for the day. We grab breakfast which is complementary from our hotel, and walk to check out nearby streets and markets. I did experience strolling around Hong Kong without a tour group, but that would be in another post.

HONG KONG NIGHT MARKET STORIES

One night, we spent our time to shop at Mongkok. This has always been our favorite shopping destination. We booked at Prudential Hotel, just across Chatham Road. Mom is very familiar in this area and our hotel is not too far from the night market, so we walked our way through. We passed by a wide array of street food. It smelled like typical Chinese food. You know, something like grilled fish balls dipped with chilies and star anise. There were stalls selling colorful T-Shirts with “I Heart Hong Kong” printed on them, also stalls selling key chains and other kinds of souvenirs. It was vibrant. Lights were everywhere. LED lights flashing on every store we passed by. Everything was there, apparel, cheap tech-stuff, shoes, hair accessories, bags. I can remember the loud exchange of Cantonese and English. We were not looking for anything in particular, we just walked and looked around. “Aaaahh Filipines. Ganda (Pretty), come here! Come here! Mura mura! (Cheap cheap!)” One of the lady vendors called us. She was selling pocket mirrors. With some Tagalog words, she lured us over. We excitedly walked to her stall and the lady smiled at us. “I know Filipines,” she said proudly. But we knew she definitely meant “Philippines”, just mispronounced it a bit. “Wow! What else do you know?” I asked her. M and Mom were busy checking out her stall. “Boracay!” She answered eagerly. She was mentioning a very famous tourist island back in the Philippines. I was amused and pretty much got engaged to this conversation. “Pili lang.” She told M, which means “Just choose” in English. “Wow! Your Tagalog is good!”, I replied to her. M was laughing, and then she went to ask, “Do you know libre?” (“Free?”) The lady vendor looked at her, puzzled, “What’s libre?”, she asked. I explained, “It means FREE!”. The lady vendor boisterously laughed. “Hahahaha. No. No. Mura mura only. I give you 2 free.” I quickly tried to recall what “Thank You” was in Chinese. I said, “Xie xie!” This was the time when Mom’s basic Cantonese comes in handy. She instantly corrected me, “It’s Do-jeh in Cantonese”, she said.

Speaking a little bit of another language can get you elsewhere. At this moment, we ‘hoarded’ pocket mirrors, not just because they were really nice-looking, but because the seller was also very sociable. She said, “Salamat!” (“Thank You!), and handed us our bags of dainty mirrors. We were amused up to the end because it’s either three of the following: 1. She learned it from A LOT of Filipino travelers shopping in this particular market in Hong Kong. 2. She loves languages and did her research. 3. She simply loves the Filipino language. The next people that came after us were of Caucasian decent, and the lady seller tried to guess. She was suddenly speaking in multiple languages saying her Hellos to the Caucasian group. Again, she drew them in, and it was fun watching how she sold her stuff. So for that, we’ll go with Number 2. Lady vendor knows her languages and is very good at sales too!

We went on with our night market escapade. At this point, we already had several bags in our hands, but we still continued to look around. In one of the well-lit streets of Mongkok stood an eye-catching shoe shop. If there’s something the three of us had in common, it was the love for shoes and our love for big red tags saying “SALE”. So, we went inside. We all picked out our own styles, sandals, closed walking shoes, formal shoes and whatever kind of shoes we could possibly stash away. We asked for our sizes. The prices for each pair were remarkably cheap, so each of us bought two to three pairs for ourselves. One pair can cost you as cheap as HKD $50 ($10 AUD / P350 pesos), and if you’re good at bargaining, you can definitely score items for less. It took us a lot of time to choose, probably more than an hour in that specific store. We realized that after we shopped from them, it was already closing time. So we had to wrap it up and head back to the hotel.

At that time, internet was already a thing, but using it for GPS was not yet in. Internet data was mainly used to access chat apps like BBM or WhatsApp or Line. Moreover, we never thought of buying a local SIM and we never dared using our mobile data overseas, afraid of paying unreasonable telecom charges when we get back home. Those were the days when people used to have a life outside of Social Media so internet data was not that on demand. So, GPS was out of the picture and we had to find our way back in the dark. M and I being totally useless when it comes to directions weren’t much of any help. So it was Mom who was doing the navigation since it was her turf. We walked down the streets, and while trying to remember every corner we turned from, I suddenly felt that someone was following us. I took a quick glance from behind, and I saw a guy, wearing denim pants, black baseball cap, and a collared shirt. It sounded like a scene from a thriller movie, except that this happened in real life. My heart started to race, as I saw this guy back in the shoe shop. I wasn’t sure if I was just being paranoid, or he actually managed to follow us for two blocks already. I was feeling a bit anxious, so I decided to warn everyone. We made another turn, and this guy was still on our tracks. We were all a bit panicking. On our next turn, there was a big Starbucks store which was luckily still open. It was already around 12:30 in the midnight by that time. We all agreed to stop by Starbucks and see if this guy would follow us. So we went inside, ordered non-caffeine drinks as it was already too late for coffee and sunk ourselves on the comfortable couches. It was a tiring night after all, just walking around the streets of Mongkok and carrying heavy shopping stuff. I pretended to scan some Starbucks mugs on the shelf, and took a momentary look outside. Boy was I right. The guy “who was allegedly” following us, was smoking outside Starbucks. I have never felt so unsafe like that in my life, and I worriedly told M and Mom. “Should we ride a taxi from here?” I asked them. Our hotel is only a few turns from where we were. The three of us started peering outside to check if that man was still there. I dunno, but he probably realized that we’ve noticed that he was tailing us. Our eyes met, and he slowly fixed his cap and tapped his cigarette on the trash bin. OK. We all felt in danger, so we have decided to spend a few HK$ for a short taxi ride.

Some of the streets were still crowded, however, we didn’t want to take the risk. We hailed a cab, and with just one turn, we were already at the doorstep of our hotel. We quickly grabbed our belongings from the trunk of the car and made sure that no one followed us there. Do not get me wrong. Hong Kong is pretty much a safe country for solo female travelers, but here’s a pro tip. Always follow your instincts especially when your gut tells you that it is not safe. And during that time, we all had the same gut-feel.

Moving on (I don’t want this to sound like a real-life horror story), we settled in our hotel. Thankfully, we were back safe and sound. As a routine, we took out the stuff we shopped for from their plastic bags so we can stow them in our luggage. It was nice to look at everything, but we failed to realize one thing. HOW WILL EVERYTHING FIT WITHOUT AN EXCESS BAGGAGE?

Sure the shopping part was enjoyable, but the packing part was a big challenge. These pairs of shoes does not include Mom’s yet and she was teasing us. We had to wear the bulkiest ones on our flight back, otherwise, we would have to pay for excess baggage which was not on the planned budget. M and I both asked ourselves, HOW IN THE WORLD WOULD EVERYTHING FIT IN OUR MEDIUM-SIZED LUGGAGE? And that’s just shoes. It doesn’t include the shirts, the mirrors, the other stuff we “kind-of” hoarded.

  WE DIDN’T GO TO OCEAN PARK FOR OCEAN CREATURES

There were things we had yet to sort out, but it definitely did not ruin our stay in Hong Kong. We set out early for another quest, and this time it was really a part of the itinerary. A tourist bus picked us up from our hotel lobby. It is fairly convenient to book your activities nowadays, and maps and guides are readily available. If you opt not to join a a tourist bus, going to Ocean Park is pretty much straightforward. It depends where your accommodation is located in Hong Kong. But if you are going from Mongkok, the train is the easiest way to get there. From Mongkok Station, take the Tsuen Wan Line going to Central and get off at Admiralty Station. From Admiralty Station, take the South Island Line going towards South Horizon and get off at Ocean Park Station. It’s a 10 minute walk from Ocean Park Station to the entrance of the theme park. The train stations can be confusing, but maps are handily available in every station. Otherwise, Google Maps is your best friend. From Mongkok Station, it will take you around 30 to 40 mins. by train. Or, you can always ask your hotel if they have scheduled tour groups going to Ocean Park. That time, we opted to join the group to avoid the stress of getting lost in between stations.

Ocean Park Hong Kong is massive compared to the other Ocean Parks I’ve seen from different countries. But before you travel, make sure to search everything you need to know about it. An adult ticket can cost you HKD $498 ($101 AUD / P3,500 PHP), and if you have kids below 11 years old, the price would be HKD $249 ($50 AUD / P1600 PHP) but just like any other theme park, prices for some attractions may vary at a different cost.

I love everything about Ocean Park, it never disappoints. But my most favorite is the Giant Panda Habitat.

At that time, together with other pandas in captivity, there were 2 famous resident Giant Pandas at the habitat, Jia Jia and An An. These fluff balls were born in the Sichuan Province of China and rescued in Qingchuan County at the age of 2. They were Giant Pandas from China, and was being kept at Wolong National Nature Reserve before they were transferred to their Hong Kong habitat. Unfortunately, Jia Jia passed away in 2016, and during her time of death she was the oldest panda in captivity.

Since then, it has been my dream to be a Panda Carer. I wanted to do it even just as a volunteer, but it never happened. My closest encounter with these adorable creatures was during our visit at Ocean Park.

That time, we knew we didn’t go to Ocean Park for the rides and for the Oceanarium. We went there to visit the pandas. It is really fascinating when you get to see these charming creatures up close. We didn’t need tourist guides to take us there. In fact, we did not join the guided tours. We went to search for the pandas by ourselves, navigating our way with the park maps.

Mom let us “kids” roam around Ocean Park. We headed to the gift shops while Mom cooled off with a cone of flavored ice under the shades. This was not our first time in Ocean Park, so Mom just allowed us to go wherever.

What’s nice about Hong Kong Ocean Park is that no two gift shop has the same items. Close to the Giant Panda Habitat, the gift shops sold stuffed Pandas and everything about Pandas. We ultimately enjoyed it and the thoughts of coming back (for the nth time) just came to the picture. Of course, we were clueless with our plans for the future at that time. We just wanted to travel. Those days, people traveled for experience and not for social media feeds. I was just fresh from college and M was still in the course of finishing her undergrad. We never knew that we would end up going separate ways several years after, her being in Canada, and me landing in Australia.

THE AFTERMATH

This Hong Kong Trip was a bliss. We somehow managed to fit our stuff inside our luggage without paying for extra. Our cameras were full, mine, mostly of streets, of food, and pandas. I was already blogging at that time at a different platform, and I didn’t have my own website then. We landed safely back in Manila without any trouble. I promised myself that if I was coming back, I wouldn’t be questioned again by immigration officers. I would just go smoothly.

It usually takes me around 2 to 3 days to unpack after a trip, but M has a different story. It just didn’t simply end there. The following day, I received a call from her. It was the most hilarious phone call I have ever received. One of the shoes she bought was dysfunctional. Why? THE PAIR WAS BOTH LEFT FOOT. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I burst out in laughter while she vented out her frustration over the phone. She wanted to exchange it, but how? We were thousands of miles away from Hong Kong already. I can’t believe she never noticed it the whole time we were there. She even took photos of the shoes we bought in all angles without even noticing it. She badly wanted to return it and have it swapped or even refunded. How? That was the question. All I could do was laugh at her mishap and let it slide. Besides, we won’t go as far as booking another plane ticket and accommodation just to have the pair replaced, right? Might as well just buy another pair locally with that money.

Hope you liked our little Hong Kong Trip! I would probably write a proper food and travel guide and itinerary in Hong Kong in another post. 🙂

LOTS OF LOVE FROM QUARANTINE,

HONG KONG: NIGHT MARKET STORIES AND FINDING PANDAS was originally published on WanderBitesByBobbie

[shysweetthing]

Terrible guessing game

If you haven’t seen it, Chapter 2 of Undiscovered Country is here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11941542/chapters/27172404

Also if you haven’t seen it, I’ve been holding a terrible guessing game, described here, and in my defense I did say it was terrible from the beginning, and that people were unlikely to guess, but people kept guessing anyway. Thank you for humoring me.

I’m going to put stuff about the Actual Answer below the cut, so please don’t read unless you want to be spoiled as to Why Victor’s Skates are Gold In My Fic.

I’ll explain how I got to gold skates, and since nobody guessed the reason exactly, I’ll be awarding glory to those who got closest in various ways.

I realize that you all don’t know me very well, but for the future *whispers*guess dorkier. Guess much dorkier.

I want you to know that I entirely blame Yuzuru Hanyu for this. I was watching this documentary on him a while back, and they mentioned at that point that he kept a notebook where he recorded every jump that he’d ever done with color-coded results and some notes. Every jump. In every practice. (Notice that I have given Yuzuru’s notebook to Victor--this seems like something that basically all world champions probably have to do to be competitive.)

At some point much later, with YOI under my belt, I started thinking about that notebook again. What is there to record about a jump? What do you put in the notebook? Why is this data valuable? How do you use it to refine your skating plan?

There are some answers I could come up with on my own, but having never tried a jump or asked people who tried jumps, they lacked verisimilitude. When I started thinking about Victor as a character who might potentially have such a notebook, I started thinking about what would actually go in his notebook. So that meant I started googling what sort of metrics actual skating coaches thought about for jumps, and I started seeing people talk about minimum air times for jumps and stuff like that.

My thought process:

1. Huh, air times, I bet that’s an important metric to measure. I wonder how people measure it?

2. Gah, some people take video and examine it frame-by-frame? And then figure airtime by multiplying frames by the time per frame? That sounds like it would take forever. You couldn’t analyze every jump that way even if you wanted to.

3. Oh, someone made an app. That’s good...but you still have to identify the starting and ending frames, so you’re still doing frame-by-frame analysis. Surely there’s a way to automate this. You’d need an ungodly amount of money, though.

4. Hey. You know who has an ungodly amount of money. Victor Nikiforov has an ungodly amount of money. Hmm.

5. Okay, here I am, looking at a bunch of frames of skaters lifting off/landing on the ice. In order for a computer to identify the frames in which a skater lifts off and lands, it needs to be able to (1) Identify the skate that is on the ice, (2) identify the ice, and (3) precisely distinguish between the skate and the ice. This is so easy for humans to do, but it’s incredibly difficult for computers. We can recognize skates from a variety of angles; we can also identify that a skater is a skater whether that skater is in a Biellmann spin or an Ina Bauer, even though the silhouettes are entirely different. How does a computer differentiate between a dark shadowed rectangle on the rink floor and a skate? And if there are multiple skaters on the rink, how does it know which skater is the right skater? I mumbled to myself about this for a while before realizing that skates of a different color would make the skate/ice identifying problem substantially easier.

6. OH MY GOD VICTOR WEARS GOLD SKATES HE HAS ALREADY SOLVED THIS PROBLEM IN CANON. I LOVE YOU, VICTOR.

7. Added in force-feedback wristband because additional data from various sensors on the wrist + force-feedback actually seemed super useful and since I had the Victor Nikiforov fictional development budget, I thought why not? I thought about just making it a smart watch of some kind but figured that wearing a watch while you do jumps is a bad idea--hit your wrist wrong and you could smash your wrist between your watch and the ice, which is extremely dangerous. You don’t want to wear anything dangerous on the ice.

8. Then I spent time making sure I could embed these systems on some kind of a flexible-ish structure. It turns out you can. Victor didn’t mention that there was a 3D gyroscope in the thing, too, but there is, I just didn’t want to make the fic too much into tech specs and the like. I had to take out some stuff that I decided on because I wasn’t trying to write a white paper on my magical new app + hardware solution that doesn’t exist because we don’t have Victor Nikiforov kind of money.

9. This kind of a data-driven solution would explain Victor’s dominance. Competence requires you to repeat the things you’re learning, over and over, with feedback until you get it right. The better your feedback, and the faster the correction, the quicker you can learn.

10. I mean, Victor can also just be the best. HE IS THE BEST WITH OR WITHOUT AN APP. I wanted that to be clear, too.

11. I got really hung up on these particular 500 words of this chapter, and I’m sorry I took you all along on that ride. I hope you enjoyed being strung along.

12. The thing that will bother me forever: That I had Victor blithely suggest removing the paint with turpentine without checking what that did to the structural integrity or surface of the skates. If I were doing this properly, I would have figured out exactly what solvent to use but at this point I’d dumped like 20 extra hours of software pseudo-development into the fic and had to pull my brain back before it went down the rabbit hole again. BAD BRAIN. BAD. If anyone offhand knows the answer of what solvents you can use on skates, I’d love to hear it.

13. The parts for the wrist band are pretty inexpensive--maybe $30 since Victor isn’t buying in huge bulk with labor for assembly? So “not that expensive” in Victor’s mind is like $150. He probably has a ton of these because my guess is the build quality isn’t great and also, they do get bent/screwed up/borked by falls.

14. Miss and Miss Not Direction Appearing In This Fic are the two engineers, hardware and software, who are in Victor’s employ. I don’t know anything about them except they’re both women, they’re both smart as hell, they’re lesbians, and they are really, really into each other. Don’t argue, it is law.

The real cost is the sunk cost--the money he’s put into app development--and that’s probably ~$400K-ish, and only that cheap because there are Russians in need of work.

Okay, now on to the brave souls who guessed into the abyss of shysweetthing’s mind and inexplicably managed to do well.

CLOSEST GUESS:

Anonymous, who guessed that gold blades showed up better on camera.

I argued with myself a lot over whether this counted, because it is close to the truth. But ultimately, the problem the gold blades were intended to solve wasn’t with the blades showing up on camera--they showed up fine to the human eye--but with a computer algorithm being able to easily distinguish blades from non-blades, and to identify Victor’s blades from any others potentially on the rink.

RIGHT ABOUT THE WRONG PART OF THE GUESS

This anon, who guessed that Victor painted his skates by himself. He did for a short period! Also, Yuuri paints his skates by himself! It’s true! It’s not the reason he does it, and Victor’s skates are (by now) actually gold-plated and not painted, but this is like 900% more correctness than in most guesses.

RIGHT BUT WAY TOO VAGUE TO COUNT GUESS:

This guess by @torikabori: “[T]here's some kind of Science behind it and he got gold blades because of Physics Reasons. Either they glide better or they last longer...”

Yes, there’s some kind of Science behind it, and yes, there are Physics Reasons, but they do not glide better or last longer. First half of guess is correct, second half incorrect.

WEIRDLY RIGHT BUT TOTALLY WRONG GUESS:

This guess by @rogovich, which is wrong in particulars about the skates, but weirdly right, in a strange way, about the scene in the fic! Victor isn’t trying to tell Yuuri anything moral, but he is (inadvertently) disrupting him from his self-loathing. Victor did not have a disastrous finish in his youth, but he did go from winning to not winning, briefly (and that’s disastrous to Victor, of course). The gold blades were a part of how he picked himself up--not because they served as motivation, but because they were part of the application.

You all get glory, and what that means is that from here on out, if someone is a jerk to you, you get to look at them and say to yourself, “Ha! I have glory!” and then sweep away majestically and/or clumsily, because you are glorious.

[onlyprettylittlethings]

SuperCorp Prompt 1:

Prompt (from @sheishergirlfriend):  

Red K ! Kara is mean to everyone but getting soft and awkward around Lena

Author’s Note: I really hope this somewhat close to what you had in mind. This is rated K+ and hopefully everyone enjoys it. Lemme know what you think!

--------------------------

Kara checked herself out in front of the mirror: short, gray pencil skirt with a slit that went slightly more than halfway up her thigh; black blouse with one too many buttons undone, enough so one didn’t have to leave much up to the imagination; shiny, black stilettos that stretched out; loose hair teased to perfection, and--of course--her trademark glasses.

Yeah, she was good to go for another day at work.

It was weird though, ever since she saved those firefighters she’s felt more confident, and as she gave herself another once over in the mirror, she even felt a little bit sexy with her new look.

Either way she had to get going before she was going to be late. She grabbed her black purse, placed her phone inside, and got her keys; today was going to be interesting.

---

She was halfway through her work day, and she was absolutely dreading it. She was absolutely dying to get outside of this increasingly hot office so that she can fly around the city. She needed to feel the wind carry her and her stress away, she needed to be free for a little bit.

“Kiera!”

Kara rolled her eyes, stood up with a slouch, and didn’t even bother grabbing her notepad. Hell, she didn’t even grab a pen.

“Kiera!”

Kara sauntered her way to the front of Cat’s desk which was covered with prints, and strewn with copies at the edges of her desk.

“I heard you the first time, Ms. Grant.”

Cat, who was steadily focused on making the prints bleed, placed her pen down and looked up at Kara. Like, really looked at her.

She saw the way the women in front of her was standing: arms crossed in a way that allowed her right hand to be poised midair so that she can see her manicure, blood red nails trimmed to perfection. In Cat’s eyes, that one hand should have been poised on a notepad, ready to write down her every whims. However, it was at that instant that Cat realized that her usually docile and responsive assistant was posing an unusual defiant pose that was oozed with a wayward demeanor.

Cat pursed her lips.

“Would you like the day off, Kiera?”

Kara looked up at Cat, stared her straight in the eyes; unwavering. She moved her hands until they landed right on top of Cat’s desk, right on top of those prints that were in the process of being murdered merciless by Cat’s keen eyes, and arched her back. Angled her head up and looked down at Cat.

“Hmm, what makes you say that Ms. Grant?”

Cat looked up at her, the vein at her reddening neck straining against her smooth skin. She swallowed all while maintaining eye contact.

“Well, I don’t know.” Her eyes shifted across the room. “Maybe it’s the way that you so nonchalantly walked into my office as if you had nothing better to do.” She motioned her left hand pass Kara and towards the glass doorway. “Perhaps it’s the way that you have completely invaded my personal space by placing your germy hands on my desk.” Cat shifted her eyes down and stared down at each of Kara’s hands, trying to incinerate them away with just a look. “Or maybe--now, this may be a stretch--it’s the fact that I don’t like the attitude that you’re displaying, the same attitude you’re directing towards me, no less.” She lifted her eyes up from Kara’s hands and stared at her without faltering.

However, their intent staredown was interrupted by a knock against Cat’s glass door and a clearing of a throat.

“Um, I’m sorry to interrupt, Ms. Grant, but I need you to take a look at these photos before I send them down for printing.”

It wasn’t until Cat finally broke her gaze, picked up her glasses, and gave a slight nod that Jimmy even decided it was safe enough to approach either one of them. Kara took a deep breath, straightened up and recomposed herself until she reclaimed the same pose she had when she first walked into Cat’s office.

After handing Cat his photo layouts, Jimmy gave Kara a wary look while Kara seemed completely intent on ignoring him. Cat, unbeknownst to either of them, was observing this slight interaction. She sighed, gave Jimmy his adequate photos back (as usual) without even giving them another glance, and told him they were just fine.

That was his cue to leave.

“Kara, I don’t know what medications you’re on or if you finally decided to grow a pair over the weekend,” Cat took off her impeccable glasses. “But, I think that for the sake of maintaining your job for the next three months until you completed your first full year here at Catco, that you should take the rest of the day off.”

Kara scoffed.

“No questions asked, now go before I change my mind and decide to fire you here on the spot.”

She carelessly flailed her hands at Kara in a shooing motion--not even bothering to look at her--which spurred the woman in front of her to simply spin on her sharp stilettos, flip her hair and to sway her hips back to her desk. She collected her things: her bag, her keys, her espresso, and her phone. In fact, when she picked up her phone she saw that she had one missed call and two text messages from her sister Alex. She unlocked her phone with her thumbprint and read the two messages.

Hey, wanna catch lunch together?

I hear that JJ’s having a special today :)

Kara was ready to reply back, set on going since she didn’t have anything else to do, but decided better on it and left Alex on read. She had no intentions of spending her lunch at some dingy dinner, especially since she wasn’t even hungry and would rather spend it flying around.

So, she made her way to the nearest obscure window, and undid the rest of the blouse that was patiently waiting all morning to be ripped off.

---

The sun was almost setting; the sky painted with light pink and dark orange hues that swirled around a yellow core near the bottom of the skyline. At the very top of the atmosphere was an unlit figure who’s cape would flap back and forth, morphing to the strong currents of the brisk wind that high up: Kara Danvers.

She stared down at the illuminated city, the numerous yellow boxes on the tall buildings that would obstruct the view of the sunset, the blue and red lights from the police cars swirling around the perimeters of the city, and the honking from the cars caught in traffic. It was all so, so quaint.

She flew around a little bit more, bypassed the crime scene at the perimeters of the city, and landed on the small balcony of her apartment.

It was weird. She spent the last five hours just flying around the city, and she still wasn’t hungry. Either way, she quickly changed into a pair of some comfy sweatpants and a blue cotton t-shirt. After that, it didn’t take too long for her to throw herself on her couch and turn on the television. She flipped through a few channels until she landed on reruns of Friends.

She was about to rest her head on the arm of the couch when she heard her phone vibrate from the end table of her bedroom where it laid charging. At first she wasn’t considering picking it up, especially if it was just Alex worrying about her for no reason, but for some reason she decided to get up and see who needed her, like always.

Lena did, apparently.

I probably don’t know what the chances are that you might be available at the moment, but I decided to take a chance and ask.

I’m kinda lonely at the office and I really wish to have some company. Please?

I’ll have my assistant get us some take out. I swear, I will literally die if I have to spend another minute here alone.

God, I’m so clingy.

Kara laughed. She stared at her phone a bit longer, waiting to see if Lena would keep sending her messages. Yet, when she saw the message bubble forming again she decided to pull Lena out of her misery.

I guess it depends on where the take out will be from.

Kara sent the message and brought the side of her right thumb up to her mouth where her teeth were waiting to preen on the supple skin near her red nail.

JJ’s, of course! It’s your kryptonite ;p

Ha. If only she knew.

Well, I guess not all heroes wear capes, right?

This conversation has officially become the most ironic dialogue of the century--at least the one of the decade.

YAY! I CAN’T WAIT!

She put her phone down, and decided to change into something a little more lively than what she’s used to. That’s why when she opened her closet and saw the end of the rack, her face morphed a smug grin with her mouth.

---

Lena was finishing up a part of her budget plan when her assistant politely knocked on her door and walked in as quietly as possible.

“Miss Luthor, there is a Kara Danvers here who says that she has an appointment with you but she doesn’t--”

Of course, Kara was feeling a little bit angsty and decided to take matters into her own hands: she barged in without waiting for permission. The impulsive action caused Lena to raise her eyebrows until eventually she felt that it was more amusing than arrogant.

She looked at her assistant one last time, “don’t worry about it, and feel free to take the rest of the night off.”

Kara smirked and gave a condescending look at the flabbergasted assistant. Lena didn’t notice though because she was too busy looking at what Kara was wearing: a tight, strapless, bright red dress that seemed to fit Kara like a glove and made her blonde hair look like a yellow flame from the way it was teased by the breeze of the city. She was definitely a sight for sore eyes at this stage of the night.

“Wow, did you just come from somewhere important? I wasn’t expecting you to get all dressed up, but wow... you look stunning!”

Lena’s eyes were trying not to devour the image in front of her but she tried to maintain a modicum of decency, even though the brightness of the dress was demanding her eyes to rake them over Kara’s figure. When she finally saw Kara’s face, she noticed the slight pink tinge that was coloring the upper half of her cheeks and the way her blue eyes were looking at any point in the room but Lena.

“Would you like to take a seat? I already had my assistant order from JJ’s Diner so it should be here sometime soon--hopefully.”

Kara went over to the couch and sat down at the edge of the couch--back straight and legs crossed--all of her previous confidence almost gone. When she looked down at herself, the red dress and the unnecessary cleavage that stared back at her, she realized how dumb she must look.

“I should almost be done soon, and then I’ll--”

“I look ridiculous, don’t I?”

At those words, Lena snapped her jaw shut. She just sat there, processing what she just heard. Kara wasn’t even looking at her, she just kept on rambling.

“I look ridiculous, and I don’t what I was thinking when I picked out this dress, and--god, I’m cold--and, and… why are you looking at me like that?”

Lena was smiling, she placed her pen down, stood up and carefully walked her way over to Kara until she finally sat down right next to Kara, neglecting the rest of the long couch, and grabbed the fidgeting hands in her lap.

“I don’t know what you’re going on off about, but I think you look marvelous.” Kara looked up at Lena. “Sure, it was more than what I was expecting, but you’re still gorgeous.” Lena raised one of her hands and placed an untamed flame behind one of Kara’s ear. “Plus, now I have an excuse to officially call this meet up a date.” At that, Kara blushed and looked down at her lap again. Lena simply looked at her, dropped her hand to Kara’s cheek and felt Kara rest the weight of her head on the palm of her hand.

Then Lena’s phone rang.

She cleared her throat and hesitantly stood up, “that must be the take out.”

“Ye-yeah.”

Lena picked up the phone, “yes… just have them come up… yes… yes… okay, thank you.” When she hung up, she looked over at Kara and noticed that she seemed more relaxed until she saw her hands rubbing at her arms--that must simply not do. She surveyed behind her and took the black blazer draped around the back of her impressive leather chair. When Kara heard Lena’s heels clicking against the stone of the floor, she looked up to see that Lena was carrying her blazer; the simple thought alone managed to warm her up already.

Lena sat down next to Kara, much in the same way she did earlier except this time she came prepared and wrapped the blazer around Kara’s arms taking the chance to wrap her arm around her shoulder in the process. Feeling content, Kara grabbed Lena’s hand hanging off the end of her shoulder and angled her face towards Lena.

“Delivery for Miss Luthor.”

Lena chuckled and Kara smiled. When the delivery girl didn’t receive a response she ended up knocking on the dark wood of the door. Lena stood up--again--grabbed the wallet on her desk and opened the door.

“Here is your delivery Miss Luthor: two milkshakes, cookies and cream, and chocolate, with curly fries and--”

“Yes, here’s your tip, now have a good night.”

The young girl gaped at the cash in her hand that she didn’t even realize the door gently pressing against the tip of her nose.

However, Lena didn’t notice that someone crept up behind her and when she turned around, take out bag in one hand and shakes in the other, she wasn’t expecting to be caught off guard by cherry lips against her lips. Now, if only she can actually use her hands apart from holding food.

Closing her eyes would have to do for now.

When Kara finally relented, Lena reluctantly opened her eyes to find stormy blue eyes staring at her intently, waiting.

“Well, aren’t you full of welcoming surprises tonight,” Lena grinned.

“I guess I just couldn’t take the chance to have this date end up with silly interruptions that would prevent me from doing what I’ve been dying to do since I met you.”

“Then, by all means…” Lena smirked.

Kara leaned on her toes, face angled towards Lena’s, but then slipped her hands on the take out, spun around and threw herself on the couch.

“...Let’s eat!”

Lena laughed, “tease!” But followed soon after, finally getting to see Kara so carefree... and hungry.

[salvo-love]



Do you own a DSLR but still take average, boring photos?

“Now You Can Master Any DSLR Camera And

Take Gorgeous, Attention-Grabbing Photos By

Following Step-By-Step Video Tutorials!”

 

“Use your computer, laptop or smart phone to get expert advice with easy-to-follow instructions whenever you need it!”

Hi there,



Evan Sharboneau here…

As you probably know, I’ve helped over 9.2 million photographers create stunning images using digital cameras.



Above is an example of a recent personal work - these are the types of images you'll be learning to create inside my photography training course!

Now, I’ve got something NEW for you – and it’s very cool.

After helping beginners for 5 years, I see exactly what’s stopping you from taking photos that really impress your friends and family… and will sell online, at shows, and even galleries.

So if you’re struggling to get the most out of your camera and finally be recognized for your own amazing photographs, then what I’m about to share will make you extremely happy…

I Used To Be Like You

Look, I understand how it feels to compare your own photographs with what we see in magazines, books, and online forums.

As a beginner, it’s not only frustrating but can get depressing, wondering “how was that shot taken?”… thinking “it’s probably because they have a better camera than me”… or “I’ll take photos that good, eventually”.

Like you, I didn’t know the secrets. I couldn’t afford expensive cameras or classes. But I wanted to take good photos TODAY, not “someday”…

 

Are These Questions And Concerns Stopping You From Becoming A Better Photographer?

Do you own a DSLR camera but take mediocre photographs – a sign that you lack the skill and confidence to get the best results?

Have you thought about upgrading your equipment, believing that will improve your photos?

Are you lost when it comes to exposure, aperture, ISO/ASA, depth of field, lighting, lenses, filters, post-production and other difficult concepts?

Do you still have questions or feel overwhelmed after reading blogs, forums, books, and tutorials?

Have you thought about taking photography classes – but want to save time and money?

Do you think you’re not ready to be a professional – a mindset that you must overcome to succeed, get recognized, and sell your own photos?

Bad Photos Are Not Your Fault



More old photos of mine shot back when I was the typical average photographer, completely unaware of how my images could be improved. Do your photos look like these?

So many new photographers and hobbyists get stuck on buying equipment. And they spend months hunting for ways to improve their skills.

Yet, after all that, your photos are average. Or worse.

Here’s the truth: it’s really NOT your fault!

I’m telling you, I’ve spent hundreds of hours digging through blogs and forums, reading books and manuals, watching YouTube and DVDs.

Guess what. After going through ALL of the training material out there, I’ve found NONE that will turn you into a pro, step-by-step.

They always have missing pieces. Questions without answers. Nobody says exactly how the best images are made.

You’re just expected to “spend a lot of time practicing”!

People believe that’s a good thing, but it can actually be wasted time and energy. Doing something over and over again is exhausting. It takes years to figure stuff out and become a professional that way… if you get there at all!

There’s a better strategy…

It Takes Years To Become A Professional… If You Don’t Know The Shortcut



These shots were taken by me after I learned the secrets of professionals…

How did I go from beginner to having photographs showcased and featured on DeviantART, Flickr, print ads, billboards, posters, magazines, and book covers?

Well, I never took classes. Anywhere. Ever.

Instead, I went around my town and shot photos with an entry-level DSLR, a Nikon D50.

My first attempts were “ordinary”, nothing special. Online I saw photos better than mine and literally thought they were mysterious. I couldn’t figure out how they did it!

But then… I discovered a few BASIC PRINCIPLES that make it possible to take good photos, every time, no matter what camera’s in my hands.

With these principles, I can take a couple shots and feel comfortable knowing at least one will be a “keeper”.

It’s WAY BETTER than digging through 100 shots hoping that one is just “okay”.

Now I’m aware of WHAT to look for… WHEN to photograph… HOW to get the shot I want. And I can be sure that a photo will be good – even before it’s taken.

It’s like I found a reflex that just “knows” when to click the shutter!

Seriously, this changed my life…

How To Quickly Learn Everything You Need To Create Amazing Photographs



Your shots CAN look like these! Here's how…

Let’s be real: after getting a DSLR you found it takes more than reading the manual to get professional results from it.

Then your hunt for more information and answers began.

But there’s a TON of information about photography, and it’s so unorganized!

I learned by doing meticulous research, putting it all together on my own. After spending years of applying what I discovered, I began sharing with friends online.

Nobody prepared me for the flood of questions about landscapes, portraits, sports, studio photography... and my weird ability to just grab a camera and start taking great photos without any effort whatsoever.

Now I've got the answers you're looking for, and they're here on this website.

Just Imagine Being Able To…

Choose the right DSLR on a budget and still get all the desired features

Properly hold a DSLR and stop looking like a complete idiot out in the field

Stop taking boring photos that nobody cares about and start taking creative, memorable photos worth sharing and selling



GET CRISP, CLEAR SHOTS when photographing anything, including people, objects, and landscapes



Avoid the 6 common beginner mistakes of COMPOSITION and easily create brilliant images instead



Finally grasp a complete understanding of Shutter Speed, Aperture, and ISO for total control over MOTION and DEPTH OF FIELD



Learn the “secret” time of day when most professional photos are shot



Understand Exposure and Metering so pictures won’t be too bright or too dark, but “just right”



Properly select the right WHITE-BALANCE setting on your camera and stop worrying about photos coming out too orange or having washed out colors



Select the BEST LENSES to create appropriate, proportional, non-distorted, aesthetically pleasing images… no matter the situation



Take JAW-DROPPING panoramic shots



Use FOCUS correctly and know what focus points to avoid in a scene



Choose the BEST EQUIPMENT, including flash, filters, camera bag, tripod, tripod head, batteries, battery recharger, strap, camera mount, and memory cards

Use external FLASH to control motion, remove red-eye, add drama, and give your images an edgy, high-class, professional look…



Use FILTERS to control light coming through the lens, remove glare, and even make the colors in a scene appear more saturated

Get NATURAL HDR shots that don’t look fake or “over-done”



Correctly decide when to use a TRIPOD – and know when it’s dumb to use one

Capture sharp, correctly exposed photos in LOW-LIGHT SITUATIONS… with no motion blur or noise



Take stunning photographs at NIGHT with or without using a flash or tripod



Know where to put LIGHTS in relation to your subject/model and how to control the mood of portrait photos



Choose effective LIGHT MODIFIERS, including umbrellas, soft boxes, beauty dishes and grids to establish the mood of the image (do you want the image to be dark, dramatic and shadowy? Soft and pleasing? Bright and happy? Do you want soft pools of background light? When would you want light to create texture across surfaces, and when wouldn't you?)



Know how to select a SOFTWARE package that fits your needs and budget

Correctly EDIT IMAGES in post-production using Adobe® Photoshop® Lightroom and Adobe® Photoshop® software



And much, much more…

Others started applying my advice and the results were pretty amazing…



Photo by someone who took my advice

It felt great when they started getting the same results as me…

But Don’t Just Take My Word For It

“People thought my photos were from a travel magazine!”



Why Does This Work So Much Better?

The principles I discovered can turn nearly anyone into an “expert photographer”. When it comes to getting better shots, you’ll be AMAZED at how well they work.

And these principles are essential if you want photography to be a secondary or even full-time income.

Yet this information is hard to get. It’s either hidden from the general public or scattered all over the place, unavailable in one location for easy access.

NOW HERE’S THE SOLUTION: Everything you must learn to take professional quality images is on this website.

You can finally start using your camera with confidence. Start taking your own amazing photographs that people will rave about and even pay money for, if that’s your goal.

Listen, I’m willing to tell you everything because I’m not afraid of competition.

After being published all over the world, I’ve learned that it’s actually more fun and rewarding to share what I discovered… the very same information that launched my career.

My favorite part is when people send photos after using what I taught them.

Bottom-line: it doesn’t matter if you’re brand new or have been struggling with photography for a long time… I want to help you.

To make it easy, I took a video camera and recorded answers to all the top questions, and more.

I carefully demonstrate how to use exposure and aperture, lenses, lighting, composition, software, and many other topics that people find difficult or confusing.

What’s better, I’ll show you how to succeed…

Without piles of books or college courses

Without years of experimentation taking “average” photos

[chrisoncinema]

Lessons from the Edit: Man of Steel

[UPDATE 8/27/2017: New, working video link below! Please note: to watch videos in their entirety, download the video to your computer. Streaming from Dropbox will only allow you to watch the first 60 minutes.] A Zack Snyder film is like that college freshman who got a little too into Ayn Rand his senior year of high school, has taken one Intro to Philosophy course, one Intro to Political Science course, and is now writing a manifesto. You know all of this because when he walked into your English class you said “Cool trench coat” and he mistook your derision for interest and now he won’t stop talking at you.

Zack Snyder’s films won’t stop talking at us and so, apparently, they’re here to stay. When I was a senior in high school, I defended Watchmen as a bold but fitting adaptation of a ground-breaking graphic novel. I thought it was very cool.

Now I’m just tired.

In this installment of Lessons from the Edit, we’ll take a look at Snyder’s first entry in the troubled and tone-deaf DCEU: Man of Steel.

I remember being very perplexed by the news that Christopher Nolan would produce (and, implicitly, oversee) a film directed by Zack Snyder. Nolan’s Dark Knight Trilogy felt like a fresh take on the superhero genre by treating it like a grounded, crime film. The Dark Knight clearly wants to be a Michael Mann film and blatantly steals from Heat. Zack Snyder has spent his career doing the exact opposite.

300 and Watchmen, whether or not you consider them successful or good, found interesting ways to translate the visual media of comic book graphics into audio-visual media of film without feeling derivative (see Ang Lee’s Hulk for that). A meeting of Nolan and Snyder’s worlds seemed incomprehensible. And it sort of was.

Man of Steel is like Michael Bay on downers. It’s still all American flags and muscle but the 2013 film feels like something Bay would make while on Xanax as opposed to (and I’m just speculating here) his usual cocaine. This is undoubtedly due in part to Snyder’s cinematographer, Amir Mokri, who book-ended his work on Man of Steel with two Transformers movies and was the DP for Bad Boys 2back in 2003.

Snyder trades in Bay’s kinetic maximalism for handheld wobbling in dialogue scenes and extraneous snap-zooms in CGI-heavy action scenes. If a Michael Bay film is a haywire roller-coaster, Man of Steel is like being in a small boat on choppy water. It’s a sea-sickness simulator. If the camera movement alone isn’t enough for you, Snyder kindly included plenty of teal/grey color grading so that everyone in the movie looks as sick as you feel.

The film’s look can probably be chalked up to Zack Snyder knowing he needed to depart from his previous, and now rather clichéd, style of inky blacks and time-ramping. So, credit where it’s due: at least Snyder was trying something – even if it was just extreme close-ups on farmhouse paraphernalia. That’s more than can be said for the aggressively bland visuals in the Marvel movies. Still, the direction in Man of Steel can be broken down into two basic parts: the boring first half and the migraine-inducing second half.

The one scene that I was pleasantly surprised by in preparing for my re-edit involved Russell Crowe’s Jor-El explaining to Clark where he came from and what happened to Krypton. It’s a simulated long-take wherein the camera glides from Crowe to Cavill to the graphite-colored bas-relief sculptures that are interesting enough to look at, if a bit cartoony. This brief moment has fluidity and rhythm and feels purposeful even though it’s all exposition that, in the theatrical cut, the audience already knows because they saw it in the beginning of the movie.

In an earlier scene, Clark is talking to his Earthly father, Jonathan Kent, at an old pickup truck in another relatively long take but here it is understandable why the first half of the film just seems to drag: nothing is happening. We linger on scenes of Pa Kent doggedly trying to convince his son not to become the superhero we all know he will be. These scenes could have been used to build up an actual relationship between young Clark and his dad so that Jonathan’s eventual death might mean something to us. Because here it doesn’t. These characters don’t feel like they have inner lives – they're clunky conduits for haughty monologues.  

Despite the fact that none of the characters are compelling or three-dimensional, the cast is full of highly talented actors who all seem to be trying their best. And also Henry Cavill. Amy Adams, Michael Shannon, Laurence Fishburne, Kevin Costner, Diane Lane, Russell Crowe – they’re all perfect for their roles, in theory, but they’re reduced to doling out lame speeches and hacky expositional dialogue. Whenever Amy Adams does a damsel-in-distress style scream I feel embarrassed. I’m embarrassed for Adams, who is wasting her time filming this trash, and for all the people who inexplicably think this is a quality film.

Henry Cavill is not good in this movie. Let me rephrase: of all the terrible lines by all the uninteresting characters in this movie, Henry Cavill’s are the least convincingly acted and he is the least interesting performer to watch. Let me rephrase: why was Henry Cavill cast in this movie? Is it because he’s buff? Because basically anyone could be buff if they trained (I’ve always felt that Superman doesn’t really need to have a bodybuilder’s physique anyway, but I don’t want to get into that right now).

If it were up to me, Superman would be played by James Wolk. In his role as Bob Benson on Mad Men, Wolk is the kind-hearted, loyal boy-scout that a superman should be. He has a combination of warmth and strength that doesn’t have to be cheesy or campy if you write it well enough. But there are plenty of people who could play Superman. There are plenty of people who can act. Henry Cavill is not one of them.

Also, whoever did his wardrobe should be fired. Granted, Henry Cavill looks good in the Superman suit but in the scene where Lois meets Clark in the cemetery it looks like Clark has never worn clothes before. Like, his pants and shirt are super baggy and he’s wearing a baseball cap really awkwardly. I guess it’s a “disguise?” Or they were trying to hide how muscular he is? Whatever, I’m getting off topic.

The craziest thing about Man of Steel is that it’s better than Batman V Superman. In Man of Steel, it’s at least clear why characters are doing what they’re doing. The story is pretty simple and character motivations are relatively logical within the context of the film. That’s much more than can be said for BVS. Because, in short, no: a movie is not good just because “Batman had a scene where he was cool in it.” You’re a child. That’s a bad argument.

More importantly, watch BVSand then watch Man of Steel again and try to tell me it isn’t the most blatant invocation of retroactive continuity you’ve ever seen. The last shot of Man of Steel is Clark Kent smiling.

Let me repeat: the last shot of Man of Steel is Clark Kent smiling.

At the time, it felt incredibly tone-deaf that the last scene was so chipper after we just witnessed an hour of cataclysmic destruction but now it just feels strangely quaint and innocent. It seems pretty clear that “Superman Goes to Court” was not the original plan for a Man of Steel sequel and was only a result of the outcry against the gratuitous destruction.

The main impetus for my edit of Man of Steel was the removal of all of that mind-numbing “action” where the characters turn into rubber and Zack Snyder gives up on composing interesting, or even discernible, shots. Furthermore, nothing is learned from these scenes other than plot points to be checked off. Superman doesn’t grow or change throughout the course of the fight and Zod is as hell-bent on his dastardly plan in the end as he was in the beginning. In reading the comments on my Rogue One edit I learned that some people just don’t care about character development. That’s insane to me but it also completely explains the current state of big-budget cinema and why people like something so insultingly dumb.

My other goal, and the most time consuming element, for this edit was fixing the color. Snyder shot Man of Steel on film. There’s a richness and a texture buried underneath all the bland, sickly desaturation that the Marvel movies will never achieve with their cheap, digital shooting. Lots of people have re-saturated the “Superman Flight” scene on YouTube – I tried to carry that through the whole movie and, honestly, I may have overdone it in a few places.

So here it is, Superman: a Chris on Cinema edit: https://www.dropbox.com/s/al3u8hynubs6jdy/SupermanMOS.mp4?dl=0 (NOTE: You need to have one of Dropbox's paid accounts to stream more than the first hour of the video but you should be able to download the video in its entirety. I'm currently trying to find a better streaming platform.)

Let me know what you think! Not really about Man of Steel (I’m sick of even looking at the film at this point) but about my edit in relation to it. So sound off: is it better? Is it worse? Would you like to hear a commentary track where I go into more detail about everything I cut? What’s another flawed or good-but-frustratingly-not-great movie that you’d like to see an edit of?

Next time on Lessons from the Edit: a movie that didn’t really need my help in the first place.

Before you download “Superman” please pay for a copy of the original film. “Man of Steel” is a Syncopy Production presented by Warner Bros. Pictures in association with Legendary Pictures. Directed by Zack Snyder with music by Hans Zimmer. Based upon “Superman” characters created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster published by DC Entertainment.

@chrison_

[tanmath3-blog]

My next victim is the amazing Stephen Helmes. He is very smart, funny great to have a conversation with and super passionate about his writing. He has written some awesome books two are available at hellboundbookspublishing.com and Amazon. If you haven’t read anything by him you are missing out on an adventure! Make sure that you get to know him and read his books. Don’t forget to please leave a review they really make a difference to a writer! Please help me welcome Stephen Helmes to Roadie Notes ….

  We are going to do this interview a bit differently hope you enjoy it!

  Stephen Helmes: It wasn’t till late in life that I started thinking of myself as a writer. I have loved horror films from a very young age. We’re talking, four and five-years-old, I was sitting up late on Saturday nights with my Grandmother watching Shock Theater, a local show that aired low-budget and classic horror films. Along with this strong love for horror, the love of music was growing in me just as deep. I took up the guitar at age ten, started a band and was playing clubs by the time I was twenty-one, old enough to get in. I still had a strong passion for horror as an adult but considered it as a past time. Horror was my hobby; not something I thought of trying to do as a profession. I don’t know why it never occurred to me to try to become an author. I guess it was because I was so headstrong on playing music. It wasn’t till I was thirty-two when I wrote my first full length story. The passion for writing, using my imagination for something besides lyrics just kind of slipped up on me from behind. I had this really crazy nightmare back in 2001, and that was the spark that started the fire. The nightmare was so vivid that it brought me up from my sheets in a cold sweat. It was 4:30am and I knew if I went back to sleep I would forget almost everything about it. When I woke a few hours later there would be nothing left but the vague memory that I’d had a nightmare, and it would be lost forever. Being the horror lover that I was, I could never let such a good scare fade away with the morning dew. I had to save it, get my butt out of bed and write it all down while it was still fresh in my mind. That’s exactly what I did. I got up at 4:30 and wrote out the dream in detail. The next evening, I sat at my computer and read what I had written in the wee hours of that morning, expecting it to be completely ridiculous. That’s the way dreams sometimes are. When you are having them, often you don’t know you’re asleep. They are real as real can be at that time. After you wake and your brain starts to function normally again, they seem like crazy cartoons. They are often laughable. “Geez, what was I thinking? No more ice cream and pizza before bed!” But the dream didn’t seem crazy at all. The images came right back into my head and were just as real, just as frightening as when I raised up in bed, eyes darting around the room. This was a scary dream. I decided to see what I could do with it. I would add some characters, of course music was a huge part of my life so I structured the story around some of the real situations the band had encountered over the years. Okay, so story had the scares, and now we’ve added some faces. What’s next? A plot would be nice. It took me some time, but a couple of months later, a story called Glasswalker was born. After Glasswalker, I found that I wasn’t finished with this writing thing. Like a vampire tasting the sweet flavor of life for the first time, I wanted more. I started paying more attention to my dreams, writing them down, twisting them around, adding them in. It wasn’t long at all till my second story was underway, “Little Red Socks.” In case you haven’t guess it already, that’s what the title, Nightly Visits means. Nightly Visits are the dreams that visit you in the night, taking you on virtual reality trips to worlds you would never be willing to explore when you’re awake. I have two published books so far, and I have three more that are in the writing process. You may ask why I am working on three books at once. It didn’t start out that way. I never end a story until it tells me that it’s finished. When I start writing those first words, I never know if it’s going to be a short story, a novella, or a novel. Two of the stories that were planned for the upcoming, Nightly Visits III, just didn’t seem to want to end. They were reaching twenty and thirty thousand words and still no happily ever after in sight. So two of the stories broke off and are now going to be novels. Which will come first, who knows? That is up to the stories. As I mentioned earlier, it was that nightmare back in 2001 that really started the writing, however, I have been a Stephen King fan for a very long time. In the beginning I was all about his movies, but it didn’t take long to realize that he had a lot more books than films. That’s not to mention that everybody always told me that the book is better than the movie. I finally decided that it was time for me to break down and see for myself. That afternoon I found myself in a local used bookstore. I picked two books that I had never heard of: “Desperation” and “The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon,” After only a few pages, the door into the book world finally opened and I walked in with a mile-of-a-smile stretched across my face. It changed my way of life. I became a reader, and shortly after, I became a writer. Every writer needs one very important thing. They need a door they can close, a separation from the rest of the world. Most of the time I am behind that closed-door when I write. But this is not the only place these monsters in my head are born. Three years ago I moved 600 miles south of my home in northwest Georgia, to Palmetto Florida. I have always loved the beach and living nearly 400 miles from the nearest body of salt water was just too much. At the closing of 2014 I packed what I could fit in my little Nissan and headed south, not only for the winter, but for my life. New Year’s Day, 2015 brought a new start on life. It brought a new job, a new bed, a new office, and new faces, faces that would soon become friends. I consider myself blessed to be here. I may eat those words after I experience my first category 4 hurricane, but for now, I feel blessed. I wake up every morning to the smell of that salty air that I love so much but rarely smelt before. I live minutes away from the Sunshine Skyway Bridge, nearly five miles of highway stretched right through the center of Tampa Bay. I travel this bridge twice a day, six days a week, and I still have to pinch myself before I realize that this is now my home. Along with my office, the one with the closed-door, I’ll sometimes find myself, laptop in hand, sitting in my secret spot on the beach. Just like behind the closed door of my office, I can find my zone here. The sound of the waves are tranquil as the silence. When I am deep into a story, it’s almost like I am in a deep sleep. I am only sitting there physically. Mentally, I am far, far away, wherever the story takes me. I never listen to music when I write. As much as I love music, I find that if it’s playing, I am focusing on the music or the story within its lyrics rather than zoning out into my own world. I may use sound effects occasionally when I write however. I call them mood sounds. Much like the stage lights affect the mood of the music when a band is playing, sounds can play a huge roll in the mood of the writing. I have been known to use gentle rain and distant thunder sounds to set my mind into play. I have also used the sound of a slow beating heart to help me sink into the dark, foggy world I am visiting. I can say that I truly love writing every bit as much as I enjoy playing music. They are two totally different worlds, but they are both my worlds. I am happy to breathe the air of both lives and be able to live both dreams simultaneously. I spent more than thirty years of my life trying to become a rock star. In that journey I met a lot of very talented people, musicians who had the same dream as I had, but we could never get past playing the club scene. We had a few big shows outside the club scene, nearly selling out the theater in two of them. Our band, House of Flies, even had a cameo appearance in a movie called Chainsaw Cheerleaders. But the lesson we learned was that if you don’t know the right people, if you are not in the right place at the right time, making it big is a very long and hard journey that very few can make on their own. If I knew when I was a teenager what I know now, would I do it all again? You bet your ass I would! I would do it with a smile! But the same rule seems to go for authors as with the world of music. If you don’t have an agent it’s hard to really be seen. You have to be very good at not only writing, but you have to know how to publish for yourself and market your own books. I am very proud to have Hellbound Books behind me on this journey, but other than my good friends there, I’m on my own in a world I know little about. So why do we do it if it’s so difficult? Why not just work your fair share and live your life rather than spending your spare time hunting for a treasure you may never find? It’s not the love of making it that leads us forward. It’s the love of doing what we do. This is our life. When I cross over into that other world, whether it be a world full of colors or a world of shadows, I feel high as a kite. If I never made it as big as King, Koontz, and Rice, I would be completely satisfied just to be able to pay my bills and live my life writing stories. I’m a writer. I love to write. There is nothing like when my mind takes that virtual reality trip and the scenes start playing out in my head. It’s a lot like watching a movie. It’s the characters who create the story. I’m just the secretary who writes down. I hope you’re ready to enter my world of nightmares, because there’s lots to see. Two books are out and there are lots more books to come. We have only scratched the surface.

You can get your copy of “Nightly Visits” and “From 12 to 6 (More Nightly Visits)” at Amazon.com, or visit us at hellboundbookspublishing.com

LINKS: Nightly Visits – https://tinyurl.com/j8jqu7a

From 12 to 6 (More Nightly Visits) – https://tinyurl.com/h7dpuj8

Stephen Helmes at Hellbound Books Publishing – https://tinyurl.com/jfetdhc My Facebook Page: http://tinyurl.com/hdof2s8 Facebook Author Page: http://tinyurl.com/j542syo Facebook Nightly Visits Page: http://tinyurl.com/gswtrpe Goodreads: http://tinyurl.com/jkvoqah Guest Post at Lisa’s Writobia – http://tinyurl.com/hcdr4hp SPOTS Read yourself at Lisa’s Writobia – http://tinyurl.com/ztotnss

  Some of Stephen Helmes books:

Getting personal with Stephen Helmes My next victim is the amazing Stephen Helmes. He is very smart, funny great to have a conversation with and super passionate about his writing.