#this rewatch is emotionally wrecking me btw if you can't tell lol

[ladyriot]

Can I just say the writers did something so interesting in making Maura's favourite book Anne of Green Gables? And especially in bringing it up in this episode (5x12, yes I'm watching this show very fast; sue me, it's the weekend). The undercurrent it gives knowing that story while watching this one blows my mind.

So in this episode, Maura has to connect with her own childhood to access a connection with Jack's daughter and it so clearly digs up some things for her. She wants to impress her.

If you can't tell by my spelling alone, I'm a Canadian. And I studied English in university, so of course I've looked at this book in academic context before. Anne of Green Gables is something that gets analyzed as queer, as neurodivergent, and as trauma narrative. And oh my gosh is that interesting in the context of a character like Maura.

Maura who, like Anne, has a lonely childhood where she feels unwanted. Anne whose upbringing as an orphan is really tough with early guardians who only see her value in what she does for others and not who she is herself. Anne who combats that loneliness and darkness in part by trying to be unique, who loves flowers and beautiful things and wants nothing more than a specific cut of dress she's never had before and to be liked and wanted. Anne who creates this rich inner world and daydreams all the time to avoid the realities of her life (anyone remember Maura's wedding fantasies?). Anne who gets mocked and teased at school, but also has an imaginative side that draws in a whole host of friends too. I can see Maura wanting that part, seeing a beacon of hope in her because she's different but she's loved.

And, oh, could I go on. Anne whose trauma and neurodivergent traits have her constantly assuming her new guardians don't want her every time she makes a mistake or makes a mess of things, who constantly sees herself as bad, who can so easily see herself as trouble, as someone who only gets to ruin things and doesn't get to have things (some possible rejection sensitive dysphoria in that). Uh, big Maura vibes. I talk just a little about Maura being similar in this post here, but I could go on with that too.

Maura is still insecure. She still immediately assumes people won't like her, that Jack's daughter won't like her. That nobody wants her for real or for very long or when she can't give them something. She talks about being a weird kid in this episode. She tells Allie this:

I've seen literary analysis suggesting Anne might have possible ADHD, possible autism or cptsd. Maura, are you sitting over there and relating? Anne socializes differently. Anne gets caught up in all sorts of trouble because she thinks and acts differently, interacting with the world in a way unlike she's always expected to by others. Anne goes on long winded asides, giving stories to nature and ordinary things to the annoyance and/or affection of the people around her. She's constantly seeking out "kindred spirits" who get her even though she's different... like Maura does, like Maura probably wanted very much when she was young and reading this. Like Maura probably still does as she goes on her 'joy of science' asides.

And, Anne's often read as queer due to her almost overly dedicated friendship with Diana. For instance, Anne goes into this melodramatic tirade when Diana's parents don't want them spending time together after an accident with alcohol, with an over-the-top apology and very very mushy goodbye. They refer to each other as "bosom friends" and hold their friendship above all their others in a way that often reads queer. Now come on, this is Rizzoli and Isles, Jane and Maura. If you don't want me to read Maura as queer, Anne of Green Gables is the worst story to say is her favourite. And the worst story to bring up in this episode.

This is such an interesting choice for the storytelling to take. I just can't let it go as coincidence. I just take it as confirmation that Maura saw herself in all these aspects of Anne's character. Which, all in all, makes the end of this episode even more cutting. This is Maura watching her bosom friend, her kindred spirit, her Diana jump off a bridge and leave her alone.

And oh my god is that compelling.