#this prob wasn't what you were expecting as a reply and im sorry

[kip-loric]

OMG MICHAEL VEY MUTUAL???

*i don’t actually know if we’re mutuals but nonetheless*

I am indeed a Michael Vey enjoyer! I read it in middle school first and reread it about a year ago. It's not the main fandom I'm a part of, but I've written some fanfics and drawn some stuff.

I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with the series, just because there's many things that have the potential to have been written better (there's a shit ton of white male characters... theres some racist undertones... some other stuff, too, but I haven't analyzed the books). That doesn't mean that I don't enjoy it, but there's things that really give me pause about the books.

This wasn’t supposed to be a rant. Anyways, I'm here for the characters and the headcannons we made along the way.

[activesplooger]

𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝑀𝑜𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒜𝒻𝓉𝑒𝓇 | 𝐿𝓊𝒸𝒾𝒻𝑒𝓇 𝓍 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇 | 𝐻𝒶𝓏𝒷𝒾𝓃 𝐻𝑜𝓉𝑒𝓁 | 𝐹𝓁𝓊𝒻𝒻

Notes: hiii <3 i hope ygs like this!! im not great at fluff, ill admit BUT lucifer is j so babygirl so it turned out pretty cute!! im writing this fresh out of a writing block so sorry if it isn;t my best, i promise ill do better luci fics in the future!! <33

Summary: You made the drunken choice of sleeping with your friend, whom you've always had a crush on. It's the morning after and your mind races with the possibility of this being a one-time deal. However, Lucifer makes it clear that he's in this for the long run...

CW: fluff!!! (angst just a weeee bit)

Word Count: 1,184 (bit of a short one)

Masterpost!

Sunlight light filters through the blinds of your window, effectively waking you up from your slumber. You groggily sit up, putting a hand to your throbbing forehead. "Ughh..." you groan as you feel the effects of a hangover coming along.

Last night, you and your friend went to the bar for drinks and a general catch-up on life. The two of you had way too much to drink and got absolutely wasted. Friendly flirting turned into drunken caresses and somehow escalated into Lucifer pressing you against the wall of your apartment as you made out. And now, you're here. Yeah, it was kind of a blur...

You turn to look at the space next to you on your bed. Empty. "Fuck" you mutter, dragging a hand down your face as you try to process everything. He had left. Shit, what'd you expect? You try to downplay it as another meaningless one-night stand, but truthfully, you hoped this was more than a brief sexual connection. Your feelings for him got the better of you last night, and now he's gone...

At least with the one-night stands, they gave enough red flags to give you an idea of what you're getting into. But Luci? He's such a sweetheart, well, you thought he was... He'd always do sweet little gestures: hugging, making plans to hang out, complimenting, gifts, favors- the whole 5 love languages! Was this all just friendly behavior? You were sure he at least had some type of feelings for you. Maybe it was just sexual attraction. Still, Lucifer seemed different than the others.

Letting out a grumpy whine, you hop out of bed and slip on a robe and slippers. As you stand up, you get the faint whiff of- pancakes? Curiously, you step out of your room and peek into the kitchen.

To your surprise, you see Lucifer standing at the stove, humming the tune of a song while flipping a pancake. He slides the pancake off the pan and onto a plate. He repeats this process until he makes a stack of pancakes topped with butter, syrup, and whipped cream. You continue to watch the angel from the doorway, still not believing that he really stayed.

Lucifer picks up the plate and turns around. His eyes fall on you as he turns, your presence catching him off guard. "AH!" he shrieks, losing his grip on the plate before grabbing it back. Sighing in relief, he smiles at you, "Ah, there you are, my dear! How'd you sleep?". Still in shock that he didn't leave, you manage to murmur, "You're still here...?".

"Yes?" he replies, head tilting in confusion, "why would I leave?". "Well, I thought you would've-" you start to explain, but you decide against it. His little heart would prob break if he knew that you thought he'd leave, “Never mind. A-anyways, what's that you're making?”.

The angel looks up at you with a soft smile as he holds out the plate to you, “Pancakes.”. Taking the plate from him, you look down at the food. The pancakes were light and fluffy, perfectly cooked to a golden brown with neatly placed toppings. “Thank you, Luci…”.

Walking toward your kitchen table, you take a seat. Lucifer grabs his own plate of pancakes and quickly follows behind you, sitting beside you.

The room fell silent, the only sounds being the clanking of cutlery and the soft sound of chewing. Your mind was too busy trying to comprehend the fact that the angel wasn't being a total dick to you right now. Your eyes stay fixed on the plate below you, afraid that if you look up, he might take a second look at you and leave... Do you deserve his kindness? You sure felt like you didn't. But here you are, eating pancakes with the most beautiful angel in creation.

You finally pry your eyes away from your plate and look up at him. He's humming the same tune from before while eating his pancakes. There's a gleeful smile on his face that you can't help but admire. He's absolutely ethereal. Looking at him brings you out of your state of self-doubt and builds a determination in you to fight for this angel. You didn't want for him to go, and you were gonna do everything you could to make sure he wouldn't. Something in your gut told you to hang onto this one.

Suddenly, Lucifer's eyes meet yours, a cheeky grin stretched across his face, "See somethin' you like~?". Ah shit, your little staring session was interrupted! Pink dusts your cheeks as you feel your face getting hotter. You struggle not to stumble over your words, "I- Uh- Well-." A giggle cuts you off, "Don't be so embarrassed! It's cute.". Exhaling softly, you softly smile at him. He thought you were 'cute'...

You go back to eating your pancakes, the word 'cute' repeating in your mind as you relish that he thinks of you like that. Smiling to yourself as you eat, you suddenly feel a pair of eyes on you. Lifting your head up, you make eye contact with Lucifer. The angel beams at you, but there's a mischievous element to his expression. Swallowing your food, you ask, "What's that look for?".

Lucifer gets up out of his seat and rushes toward you. He lifts you up effortlessly and carries you across the room. When you try to protest, all you get in response are giggles. Stopping at the couch, he gently tosses you down on the cushions. You speak between amused laughter, "Pft, what the hell are you doing?".

Lucifer leaps onto the couch and onto you, his arms wrapping around you and flipping the both of you so that you're on top of him. A small "Umph!" escapes your throat as he lands on top of you, but you melt is his embrace as your laid on top of him.

"Soooo," he begins, "Here's what I was planning...". You tilt your head up at him, listening to what he has to say. " First, eat a delicious breakfast, check," his hands tangle in your hair, playing with the silky strands as he speaks, "Thennn, I was hoping- I-If you're up for it, of course! Maybe we could go for a walk in the park and grab lunch?". Lucifer scans your face for your reaction, panicking a little as he wheezes, "U-Uh unless you have plans! Oh God-".

"You want to?" you ask softly. "Well, of course. You're lovely..." he admits sheepishly. You feel a grin creeping out through your teeth. Before, you were worried that he wouldn't stay- Now you're not sure if you could get him to leave! (not that you wanted to of course). Nodding your head, you agree, "Of course, that sounds great!".

The rest of the day goes great! You both finally have a sober talk about your feelings for eachother, getting your feelings off your chest. The two of you spend the rest of the day together, cuddling, going out for lunch, and ending the day off with a bit of 'intimate time'. <3

--

<333 enjoy! i love him sm akfiuefhiuswfwenfwnfkwef. this isn't edited. i finally sat my ass down and wrote again so yayy!!!!

[chaos-proffessa]

...idk man I'm sad so I'm making my OCS sad so I can have so hurt/ comphort not snz

Idk what's this is Gunna have in it but it's not Gunna have spell check lemme know if you want more or a part in Riely's pov or smthn.

Onyx curled up in his bed, he hugged the pillow closer to his chest as he muffled quiet sobs into the fabric, his glasses wet with tears next to him they'd been abandoned pretty quickly after he started crying.

Everything started this morning, he woke up and went into the kitchen to make some coffee, he was really tired. Onyx reached for his mug placing it on the counter before turning to the kettle when. 'CRASH!!!!' onyx spun back around to see his favourate mug on the floor smashed into pieces "no, no no nonononono! Fuck!" Onyx dropped to his knees attempting to put back together the pieces, sharp ceramic pieces digging into his hands and knees "shit!" He hissed out, noticing the pieces of his once favourate cat mug digging into him

"oh crap!, onny are you alright!?" Riely rushed over ceramic crunching under his hard soal slippers, Riely crouched minding the ceramic before gently holding one of onyx's hands in his "ohhh bud... That was your fav mug wasn't it" he said sympathetically "don't worry I'll try and fix it while your at class ok?, let's get you fixed up" onyx nodded along sadly, repressing his feelings for now, he couldn't focus on his mug he was too anxious about getting his grades back today and- "ow!" Onyx flinched back as Riely wiped at his hand with the antiseptic wipes, "sorry onyx but we don't want an infection hmm?" Onyx nodded taking a deep breath, prossesing the new invitomnet, and how in his panicked state Riely had somehow gotten him off the floor and into thier shared bathroom, and the glass out of his hands apparently "thanks Ri...." Onyx mumbled quietly "no prob bob" Riely replied cheerfully, gently cleaning and bandaging onyx's wounds "want me to kiss it better~" Riely teased making smooching noises, onyx diddnt reply just shook his head, Riely catching onto onyx's mood quieted down and titled his head "hey... You alright?, I know it was your favourate but I'll try and fix it today... Or we can get a replacement" Riely said trying to cheer onyx up, onyx just shrugged reaching for his phone, hopeing to maybe see if the bakery he liked was open so he could get a snack before class, wait class ... CLASS SHIT HE WAS LATE!!!, in all his panic and spacing out he'd totally forgotten about the time, he jumped off of the bathroom counter and ran to grab his back pack, quickly shoving on his shoes "GOTA-GO-IM-LATE!!" onyx called out rushing to hopefully not be too late, once he'd arrived at his building he shoved the door open panting, his hair was a mess his glasses were Askew and he was still in his pajama bottoms, the only day clothes he'd manadged to put on were his grey t shirt and sneakers. Most of the class had turned to him he'd interrupted the class we was 20 minutes late......

..... He'd failed his test, well not failed exactly but he'd gotten a C, wich by his standards meant "I... I failed...." He whispered to himself scrunching up the paper in his hands staring at the note at the top in red pen 'see me after class'.

He'd just spent the better half of his lesson staring blankly at his paper wich by the end of the lesson had been scrunched almost to death, he waited a few minutes before walking up to the podium, his professor waiting for him. "you... You wanted to s-see me?" Onyx stuttered, nerviously wringing his hands together, professor kands sighed "look onyx, your a bright kid I know that, you know that.... But you have to try harder, I know this year has been stressful with professor changes and personal issues, but you can't let that get in the way of your education, you pay to be here I expect your best work alright" and just like that it was like something snapped inside of onyx, he'd been holding back his feeling for so long and the dam was finally overflowing, onyx's throat felt clogged that kind of clogged were if you tried to talk you'd just break down on the spot he held back tears as the sprung to his eyes, he looked down and nodded praying professor kands diddnt expect and answer, luckily he got dismissed.

Onyx ran out the doors of the building tears streaming down his face ugly sobs coming out followed by ragged weezing breaths as he ran back to his dorm, his heart racing vision blurring, hands and feet numb, his brain running a mile a minute, he ran into his dorm ignoring the sudden call form Riely as he sprinted to his room, slamming the door behind him, he fell against the door, uncontrollable sobs crawling there way up out of his body, air just barely making there way into his lungs, his hands wrapping around himself digging into his upper arms as he sunk to the floor, he couldn't hear Riely's attempts to call out for him.

Onyx stayed in his room like this for hours until he finally dragged himself to the bed, shakily standing for just long enough to collapse into bed, we stayed like that for a while a steady stream of tears flowing down his face followed by the occasional sniffle of hiccup as he gathered himself back together piece by piece, he'd just started calming down when he heard a knock.

"onny?, can I come in please... I'm worried..." Riely called from behind the door, his voice sounded wobbly and scared, onyx tried to reply but all that came out was a tired whimper filled by a quiet sob, apparently he wasn't as calmed down as he though he was. ".... I'm coming in ok?" Riely gently opened the door holding a box wich was terribly wrapped in cat themed wrapping paper and more than enough tape, Riely winced once he saw onyx, the light from the now open doorway revealing, tired sunken eyes, they looked so sore and red, onyx's skin had gone and irritated red around his eyes, mouth and nose, dried and wet tear tracks were all over his face, and his hair was a mess "wassat?" Onyx just barely squeezed out, his voice strained from hours of crying, Riely smiled gently and sat down next to onyx on the bed, carding his fingers through onyx's hair, brushing the hair off his face were dried tears had stuck the strands, "why don't you sit up and open it?" He gently coached, onyx sniffled and nodded, carefully sitting up and leaning against Riely for support, he took the box from Riely and started to unwrap it, opening the card board tears starting to bead his eyes again at what was inside. "it's probably not my best work.... But I really tried, I hope you like it". inside the box was a new grey mug, clearly hand made out of ceramic clay, it was wonky and uneven, some parts sinking in and protruding out, on the top however were two cat ears, a sketchy cat face drawn underneath in marker. "I know it's not the same, it's not even close and it's pretty badly made, I'm still getting used to ceramics but we were making mugs today and I though maybe-" "I love it" onyx whispered, Riely stared shocked "you.... You mean it?" He asked "I don't even know if you can actually drink out of it and-" Riely was cut off again as he was bombarded with onyx crashing into his chest onyx's arms wrapping around Riely's waiste, a few sobs muffled into his shirt, Riely hugged him back.

Idk how to end this so yeahhhhhh... Bye!

[im-probably-crying-rn-ngl]

With all respect to a fellow Merc fan, underperforming expectations and stated goals has only been on brand for them the past 2 years, after being the most dominant F1 team of all time. I don’t know how quickly they can course correct, but they’re among the best funded and best equipped of all teams, and they’re an engine manufacturer! McLaren just renewed their engine contract with Merc so how bad are they really? (Also 2nd in the WCC last year)

hello to a fellow merc fan! that post was a little jokey joke, what can i say i was in a silly goofy mood, and i do think they have a lot going for them like you said, p2 in the wcc wasn't easy at all given the competition, since ferrari actually won a race.

but...it's also the partial truth. they have made a bad habit of hyping the car up these past two years esp 2023. thinking they could challenge red bull and max for the championship even. but it ended up in a way that they were confused about how the car behaved after a race weekend??? lewis has talked about how much of a franken-car the w14 was and how difficult it was to get in that sweet spot. this problem is frankly unique to mercedes 😭😭.

the hype tho umm for example toto went from stating such high expectations for 2023 to calling it "a terrible car" in the media. which is bad for morale among the fans, the 1000 merc employees and not to mention the drivers. the higher ups of the team need to maintain expectations for the good of everybody imo.

most importantly in recent years they have had problems not only with the car but the pitstops and strategy which from ferrari (i truly empathise) we can learn are just as important as the actual car.

regarding the w15. they have all the funding, equipment and talent in the world and their engine is still top notch. im rooting for them, hand on heart, but i will wait till the actual race to say anything about their championship prospects next year. because this time they have to not only worry about red bull and ferrari but mclaren (who do have very nice videos but also the strategy, the pitstops and now prob even the car) because they will be ready this time.

sorry for the long reply but i always wanted to explain that merc may not be as bad as i joke but may not *currently* be as good as i hope.

[mangomochi-yn]

[did i change your mind?]

aoba johsai. iwaizumi hajime x reader

g. kinda confusing fluff but fluff nonetheless

tw. hajime is shooketh   wc. 1.6k

If there was one thing you and Hajime never got along with, it would definitely be the topic of why one gets into a relationship. 

'If you like them—go ahead' was your thinking while as for Hajime— 'only if you like them enough to want to settle'. Maybe this was the whole reason why you two weren’t as close as two childhood friends should be. 

But when that third childhood friend, Tooru, suddenly asks you to fill in for him as Hajime’s plus one to a wedding, well things get kinda messy. 

And it all started when you asked him one thing, just as the bride and groom exchanges their vows and shares a kiss— 

“But isn’t it the heartbreaks that make true love oh so much sweeter in the end?”

"Hah? What the heck are you talking about in the middle of the wedding?" Your brows furrow at the fact that Hajime seems to have already forgotten what you two were debating about earlier. 

"You said 'why do people even get into relationships when they have no plans on settling'." He finally at least slightly looks in your direction. Maybe it was the fact that you were borderline whisper-shouting by now?

"Okay and?" You sigh, really you could never hold a proper conversation with this boy.

"And that's my reply— it's the heartbreaks that make the end game so much better isn't it? Kinda like gaining experience in a game so that the reward is so much better in the end." At the sound of the guests clapping along to congratulate the newly wedded couple, you two stand up as well, you never tearing your gaze from the boy though.

"I can't believe you're comparing it to a game." Jokes on him, he was the one that didn't even like saying the word love, pretty immature for someone that was so adamant against getting into casual relationships.

"How else would I get it into that thick brain of yours then? I would have thought of a volleyball phrase if I had more time." Finally, you look towards the groom and bride, clapping along with the rest of the guests as a smile adorns your face.

You said what you felt you needed to say, so maybe that's why you hadn't noticed how the spiky-haired boy was staring at you in awe— thinking deep about what you had said.

"Oi, Shittykawa, why do you get into a relationship?" Said boy's eyes almost popped out of their sockets as he stared at his best friend. Was he seriously asking him that? In the middle of a water break at practice?

"Eh? Are you and Y/N-chan in one of those little debates again?" Bullseye but not quite. Hajime actually hadn't noticed how he asked Oikawa that question.

The only thought in his mind was how he saw you earlier that day, it had been already a week after the wedding, yet your words still stuck in the back of his head — brought forward as he saw you walking around school— clinging to a boy he's never seen's left arm as well. 

He didn't want to admit it but for the first time in how many years, you were slowly driving him crazy. He found himself wanting to know everything that was on your mind, every nook and every cranny. 

"Oh! Y/N-chan, what brings you here?" Oikawa's booming voice echoes against the gym floors— effectively snapping Hajime out of his thoughts at the mention of your name.

"Hey, Tooru! I'm here to ask you about our one english project—" Sending a small wave to Hajime, he couldn't help but just stare at the way your eyes crinkled as you smile.

"—did I change your mind?" Wait, were you talking to him now? His eyes almost bulge as he racks his brain for an answer to your vague question. Did he change his mind about why people should get into relationships?

"—I told you I could do your part for the project if you promise to give me that milk bread recipe your mom always makes, so let me know if you’ll do it, Tooru."

Oh, but what a fool he was.

Noticing how your gaze was back at the captain's, Hajime's face turns a gushing red at how worked up he got by himself from assuming you were talking to him.

It wasn't until he heard your laughter at something the captain said did Hajime burst out his seat on the bench to march towards the locker room and wash his face to drown his senses.

"Oh and I accidentally made extra onigiris for you and Haji—" The bang of the locker room's doors were what made you aware of your other friend's sudden outburst.

"What was that?" Oikawa just shrugs. "He's been moody all day." But then as if a lightbulb went off his head, Oikawa then suddenly starts pushing you towards the locker room, a big smile on his face. You came to learn that that was never good news.

"Maybe he's just hungry, Y/N-chan! You should give him those onigiris and he'll probably feel better." You knew for sure that Hajime wasn't the type to lash out because of hunger, but before you could even argue back at your troublesome friend, you had already been shoved into the empty locker room, the door clicking locked behind you.

"I'm gonna murder Tooru, I swear." Deciding if you should just stay by the door until someone eventually opens it, you were finally greeted by the only other person in the room— half naked nonetheless.

You could only stare as he gazes at your form hunched by the door. After blinking for a few moments and seeing your cheeks turn a red hue, Hajime finally shuffles to wear a shirt, leaving you a blushing mess.

"Did Shittykawa shove you in here?" His voice was a bit gruffly but soft nonetheless, finally easing some of your nerves down.

"Uh.. yeah. He said that you might've been in a bad mood cause you were... hungry." How you made it sound more stupid than Oikawa himself, you didn't know.

But at least it didn't seem to offend or bother Hajime, instead he stared at your face with that pensive look in his eyes as if a million and one thoughts were all scrambling in his brain. 

And they were.

As he sees you stand there in front of him, a small bento in hand, Hajime couldn't escape the thoughts that plagued him since that day of the wedding.

"Dating someone just because you like them..." His voice came out a whisper you almost couldn't tell if you heard him right. Was he... thinking about what you said at the wedding? That's impossible, right?

"Uhh.. I accidentally made extra onigiris and brought some for you and Tooru." He only stares at your outstretched arms, waiting for him to take the small bento from your grasp. 

"Um but actually you can have them all. That stupid Tooru and his crazy ideas shouldn't get any—"

"I wanna try it." Thank god, you thought you were going to have to ramble off for the tension to ease.

"Oh, they're just normal onigiris, here—"

"I wanna try dating someone just because I like them."

Oh shit, he wasn't talking about the onigiris.

Wait... so is he saying he likes someone at the moment? And that he wanted to try dating them?

"Um, well good luck at that I guess then." You start to scratch the back of your neck awkwardly, earning a look of confusion from Hajime.

Did he want you to teach him or something? Did your childhood friend and one-sided crush of how many years really want you to teach him how to date someone else?

"You asked me if I changed my mind and that's your only reply?" Okay, now he was really getting confusing. It didn't help that he was starting to walk your way now, the doors were still locked, you couldn't exactly escape.

"When did I—" Then it dawns on you. Is that seriously why this airhead stormed out while you were talking to Tooru earlier?

"I was talking to Tooru, Hajime." 

"I know, but I couldn't help but think you were actually asking me too." By now, he had you trapped at a corner right by the door, your heart was beating at your chest. When did that start happening?

From this far you could actually smell the musk of his cologne, his eyes looked sharper than they were, and for a split second you were sure he was going to ravage you. Until—

"I wanna try it too— the heartbreak."

"Pfft." It catches him off guard how your once trembling expression suddenly easily turns into that of amusement. Your laugh lightly echoes across the room and he couldn't help but blush at your small giggles seemingly mocking him.

"That's not exactly the best way to ask someone out, Haji." Still wiping the tears off your face, his blush deepens as you shake your head. 

"But for you, is it okay?"

You would be lying if you said you expected that, but at this point anything was possible and hearing your childhood friend, your longtime one-sided crush, the boy that refused to go into a relationship unless it was to settle— hearing him ask you out so timidly was a whole new sensation in itself. 

A sensation you would be damned if you missed.

"Hmm, no, I actually take that back, Haji." His eyes widen as you loop your arms around his neck, pulling him closer despite his confusion. Yeah, you definitely couldn’t miss out on this.

"Let's scratch off that part I said about the heartbreak, Haji. Let's go straight to the ‘oh so much sweeter’ part instead."

a/n. yall are probs like what is she trying to say? where is this going? idk either guys 😪 i just thought that first dialogue was neat then i was like aight bet or whatever. sigh i did not give iwa chan justice im sorry.

a/n. everybody lets say thank you oikawa though— that little shit actually did something

[3s-diary]

okay do its 2:49 am and im writing this in a locked note on my notes app, but it's not leaving me alone so. I'll finally let myself think about it. so on friday, it was the last day of school and after school there was a party hosted by our grade in order to make money (for a level celebrations). me and pou had been sorta planning to go,since we never went clubbing together before. so yeah long story short we went, got something to pregame, met a few people from our grade and outside, walked around for a bit and then decided to go inside. she had met a guy which she had previously met at parties (and made out with) before. He is, btw her best friends cousin, and the girl does not know about this, but that's not my problem tbh. so yeah he was nice and all and we were clubbing for like 3 hours (things happened but i think they're mostly irrellevant, except i had a sorta conflict with a homophobic girl and pou constantly made out with the guy) and yeah after a while we found each other in the crowd again and danced together and listen this is the thing. she came closer and i didn't even realize it but she tried to kiss me??? like i couldn't even process it fast enough the only thing i knew was that her lips were warm and i could taste her lipgloss but?? I mean i was sorta drunk so maybe that impacted me but i couldn't when i realized what was going on she already stopped again, since like,i wasn't kissing her back at all.christ it was so sudden and the last thing i expected. my mind was hardly processing any of it but i immediately said "can we never do this again pls" and she was like okay sorry and i kissed her on the cheek bc i didn't wanna be cruel. so what you might think is wtf elias you just rejected a girl in the most cruel way but you have to consider that

1:we have known each other for 11 years. we have been friends for so long, things like this feel...unusual

2:i was so baffled everything that happened was instinct

3:she had been making out with someone else all night

4:nobody ever tried to kiss me before

yeah so oops i guess. i have no idea how to even kiss someone. maybe if i wouldn't have been drunk and shocked i would've managed but??maybe not?? and like she's my friend of YEARS she's the last person i expected to kiss that night. i made my way out of the crowd and texted dipsy something like 'p u triie to k isme' but also. i sorta immediately wished id kissed her back. but what i wad wondering is what the hell her intention behind this was. bc depending on that my reaction was fitting or....not at all fitting

1:its the 'girl bsfs who make out on parties' thing. I'm not a girl but i feel like most my friends see me as one so

in that case i am absolutely not cool with this and i do not want this to happen.obv. idk how close to us the guy she previously made out with was. but maybe this played into it

2:she genuiely kinda liked me

in that case WTFmm cuz we've known each other so long and she never hinted at liking me ever. in that case i also wish id acted differently bc in that case i prob hurt her

3:she just felt like it in the moment

honestly can't blame her,problem was just i didn't know how to deal with it

now i have no idea the circumstance or how she felt abt me rejecting her or whatever, but i know what my feelings rn are. i wish id kissed her back.its not like i have a crush on her or anything but id like to have kissed her then. and now i told her i never wanted to kiss her, which, great job elias, very smart. and i know a few more things. that I'm probably the first guy ever who rejected her, and that she was the first person who ever tried to kiss me. and that does something i think. maybe it doesn't whatever. long story short what the hell her intention was has been eating me uo for the past days and i've hated myself for reacting like that. and also dipsy replied with like I've been shipping you for ages how could i miss this which, whatever she says.

anyways later that night she went on a 'walk' with the guy and when we had to leave i had no idea where she was and i panicked and called her and asked the whole club abt her bc i had no idea where shw was,shw came back a little late but was alright. she apologized and we were picked up home, when we were both home she apologized again and told me she was really sorry. i have forgiven her and all, but those things still weigh on me a little, so i have been hesitating to talk to her or ask her to hang out whivh we planned to do.

anyways ill just try to get over myself and say hi or sometjing and stop beating myself up abt one (potential) kiss.