#this post is dedicated to a friend who about patrick's voice said:

[josephtrohman]

it’s okay if you’re a music snob if you like fall out boy but if you’re a music snob who doesn’t like fall out boy you don’t deserve rights. hope this helps

[schismusic]

Metroid Dread, Michael Mann's Ferrari and the flimsy-ass excuses I tried to find to connect them

Sometimes it just takes some honesty to get lack of creativity out of the way.

This waiting thing I'm not new at, not at all. I've done it very often. The earliest I can remember I was eleven and Tron: Legacy was about to drop in theaters. You bet your ass I got the soundtrack the very second it entered record stores. It was an aesthetic-defining moment. The kind of stuff that alters your brain chemistry permanently. When some friends who were in Venice told me Ferrari was a bad movie I felt all kinds of stomach-churning. I don't mean to be François Truffaut-like and pretend like all movies made by Michael Mann are automatically good, but I do have insane amounts of respect for the man as a filmmaker, and after what happened with Blackhat - in short: a really good movie sorely mistreated by audiences, critics and box office revenue - I was kind of hoping in some sort of smash hit. I really needed a W, so to speak.

In case you guys were wondering, I kinda dig Patrick Dempsey as Piero Taruffi.

Once again it just kind of floored me for a second. It wasn't too clear-cut right away. I don't think it's one of his best - too many things just don't align: the acting feels distracted and half-hearted and the inexplicably botched adaptation/voice acting job they distributed in Italy is even worse than that laughable fake Italian accent everyone has on all the time in the original; some of the dialogue is insanely out of focus and thematically off-center in a way no other Mann movie ever allowed for; sometimes it feels like the movie itself has to take the script back onto its central theme without losing itself to agiographic intents; the photography often felt a bit too painterly for the movie to have that same electrifying visual feel as (most recently) Blackhat or (most impactfully) Miami Vice. Crucially, something still felt off in a good way. What to make, for instance, of the sunglasses symbolism that instantly connects a movie set in the late '50s with the original cyberpunk aesthetic wherein “by hiding the eyes, mirrorshades prevent the forces of normalcy from realizing that one is crazed and possibly dangerous,” like Bruce Sterling himself said? Or again the cuts to the clutch pedal and then the gear stick systematically being interpolated when someone is driving? Or yet again the sheer sense of speed, the same speed of sand slipping through one's fingers, every shot conveys? When I came out of the theater (a local monoplex, almost deserted, mostly dedicated to films d'essai - incidentally also the only theater that showed the movie without me having to go to the Big City) some people I knew asked me what I thought of it and my very honest reply was "ask me in about ten years". There's absolutely no telling what future filmmakers and film historians will make of this: everything rests on the shoulder of future Mann movies. These intuitions here, not just the communication discourse (which, once again, is pretty typical of all Michael Mann movies, starting at the very least from The Insider) but this unique omissive/breathless style of storytelling and information conveyance, might make for another cutting-edge, literally breathtaking Michael Mann thriller soon: very soon, if the voices about Heat 2 being adapted to a movie turn into a reality.

Yet ultimately at the heart of every horrifying car accident, the screaming contests, the bankruptcy threats, there sits an inconsolably pulsing heart that the movie resolves to show us exactly twice.

We were at my grandparents' for Christmas and as we drove through the town my father looked out of the car's window and saw an obituary with his last name on it. I didn't quite catch who exactly it was and how they were related to us - and rest assured they most likely were, it's an Abruzzo thing. As most of my family's deaths, as discussed on my Godflesh post, were on my mother's side, to see my father's last name on a mortuary announcement was a bit of a surprise, in that as you probably can imagine it's also my last name. It's a new experience which, in total frankness, I don't exactly hope to replicate soon.

Topically enough, right on Christmas morning my precious and beloved friends J. and A. gifted me a digital copy of Metroid Dread, a game I had basically lost any hope of ever playing. The Metroid series has always fascinated me in that, for a franchise as old and weathered and revered as Mario and Zelda, there's relatively few people - at least when I was a kid with no readily available internet access - who kept a memory of it. I first met Metroid as a middle schooler, via the Prime Trilogy collection a friend of mine had saved on his jailbroken Wii; never finished it but it stayed within me like a particularly revealing nightmare did. When I played Super Metroid at age eighteen that intro sequence burned itself on my prefrontal cortex and changed everything. It's a masterpiece that drives its main strength from the freedom to explore and delve deeper and deeper into it - and quite revolutionarily, the possibility of not doing so. To realize when enough is enough takes a special ability and knowledge of the self. To accept less than what would be enough takes either idiocy or excellently precise calculations and execution.

While preparing for this post, I annotated on my phone's notes app that "Michael Mann would make a fantastic Metroid movie that everybody would hate". I know this because something similar already happened with Miami Vice: he systematically removed almost all signifiers of the original TV series to reprocess the core concept of it into a lean, aesthetically experimental, profoundly emotional film about means of communication reshaping the way crime and crime-fighters relate to each other, and the way the individual relates to sovereign organizations. It certainly helped that Michael Mann himself, as screenwriter-turned-director-turned-producer, was the man who defined the original Miami Vice's aesthetic, and therefore was in all likelihood the most qualified to strip it down to absolutely nothing, remake it from scratch to fit a new, apocalyptic vision of a post-9/11 society of control based on telecommunication.

In discussing Ferrari with @power-chords, she immediately pointed my attention onto just how critical the figures of mass communication turn to be throughout the movie. Journalists, priests, even the movie stars the pilots are dating. Michael Mann is moving into a territory of movies not about movies, but movies about media in general, sitting at the edge of communication breakthroughs, studying the intersection between an "old world" and a modern, contemporary, fucked up world. Unsurprisingly, Metroid Fusion (and to a lesser extent Metroid Dread itself) delve into omission, falsification, breaking down of information: there's fertile grounds for Mann to work with, I think.

Most importantly, however, Metroid Dread is peak-form Metroid, combining the strength of the more exploration-based titles in the series with the thrilling combat-oriented difficulty spikes of Fusion. The new thing compared to, for instance, Samus Returns is how the game does not trivialize the enemy encounters in regular gameplay up until the very end, which by the way is nowhere close to a careless power trip. And even if it were, it'd still be more than warranted: the final boss is granted to give you unrequested cosmetic surgery to make you look like a dumbass. All the while Samus has never felt any better, movement is slick and deliberate, the 360-degree aiming is incredibly precise even taking the Joycon drift into account: and this precision eliminates almost all instances of rage-game bullshit when it comes to the EMMIs, the fighting, the jumping, the exploration, without by default trivializing any of the elements. It is, simply, a game feel miracle.

It feels about as glorious as it looks.

The deep knowledge of the gameplay mechanics of a great Metroid game is key to Mercury Steam's success with the central executives at Nintendo of Japan. Samus Returns didn't sell too bad, like most Metroid games (at least when you don't compare them to Pokémon, Mario or Zelda), but this here is just a quantum leap. All elements of the game, including the mechanical frameworks established in the 3DS game, are honed to a lethal degree: every enemy encounter, every instrument at the player's disposal turn out to be multifaceted, limited only by the player's own creativity and abilities. But the game knows how to help you, the player, hone those abilities too - it wants to be discovered. It entices you in further and further.

The game is majestic, in short. It knows itself, its players, its predecessors, even its stakeholders spectacularly well. And it is so thanks to employees who were forced to borderline inhumane working conditions, under threat to get their name scrubbed off the end credits if they didn't physically show up for work in the middle of a global pandemic.

"MercurySteam employees talk about the working conditions in the studio" - Spanish article from AnaitGames

During one of the earliest scenes in Ferrari, Enzo (Adam Driver) goes to Mass in the factory's own chapel, and together with all the racing department's higher-ups he proceeds to not give a damn about the function, keeping his eye on a stopwatch instead, monitoring the times Maserati's drivers are doing on the Modena racetrack. As the execs do this, the priest starts waxing poetic: "If Jesus was born today he would not be a carpenter. He would be a mechanic, like you are," says the uncaring bastard in a long dress to alienated, broken working men, facing - unbeknownst to them - the serious threat of bankruptcy, immediate liquidation, job loss. It took this movie about thirty years to get made, being passed from one producer to the next one, from one director to the next one, with this script that sort of tries to be a biopic with all of its strengths but is fundamentally tethered to a protagonist who's, ostensibly, Just Some Guy who happened to own half of one of the most famous car manufacturing companies on Earth. But the reason he was able to do that is, like one of my teachers points out in his Letterboxd review of the movie, his entirely-too-natural knack for timing. The precision Enzo Ferrari requires of his drivers, that quite literally lethal element of exertion, precision and composure, is what is required of him too, but this doesn't make him any better than anyone else: he's not the one dying, he's not the one crashing cars. Some of his friends did. He just got extremely lucky.

Informing the very concept of the labor of love is the idea, almost the aesthetic even, of the love of labor. Gaming culture is profoundly imbued with this. Crunch, stricter and stricter timelines: these are no news to anyone who's into gaming in an even remotely active manner, and are the byproduct of a culture based around hype - a profound affection that degenerates into pretense. Enzo Ferrari fashions himself a dictator, taking charge of the communication around his brand and purposely, painstakingly reshaping flows of information to operate according to a logistical nightmare of an inner timetable. Adalgisa Bisbini (Daniela Piperno) plainly states, with the brutal honesty that can only come with old age and immeasurable pain, that "the wrong child died", right behind her son's wife's back as they're visiting the family grave. Two graves marked Alfredo Dino Ferrari sit mirroring each other in an imposing structure in the San Cataldo cemetery, in Modena. Enzo Ferrari mourns them both, unknowingly echoing his mother's feelings. It is a circle of mutually inflicted pain where everyone already feels what they're being told, and yet it never stops: labor must ensue, so that the vestiges of love can ensue. No wonder Enzo and Laura Ferrari (Penélope Cruz) can only ever fuck on top of spreadsheets.

The importance of an ashtray cannot be overstated.

[diebullydie]

Die Bully Die: Shooting to start in Sydney for a comedy horror short film with a bloody powerful message

Sydney-based actors Matt Backer (Play School, Wellmania, The Twelve) and Drew Weston (Cruel Intentions: The ’90s Musical) are set to star in Die Bully Die, a comedy horror short film they co-wrote together, which explores the lasting damage of high school bullying.

The film centres around Max (Backer), who has agreed to meet with his high-school bully Adam (Weston) at a fancy restaurant. It’s been 17 years since they last saw each other but Max hasn’t forgotten how Adam used to torment him relentlessly for being gay when they were teens. As the night progresses, Max’s grudge against Adam begins to manifest in increasingly macabre ways, bringing into question whether the horrific events are the result of karma, coincidence or a warped coping mechanism of Max’s.

The inspiration for Die Bully Die came from Matt Backer’s personal experience of being bullied at his all-boys Catholic high-school in Brisbane in the late ’90s and early 2000s. Collaborating with fellow actor and friend, Drew Weston, the script came together over the course of three weeks of intensive writing.

“High school was hell for me, as the homophobic bullying I experienced was intense and constant and it took so many years to unpick that damage,” Matt said.

Drew thought it was “really important to get this story down on paper as bullying and harassment are such universal topics and Matt’s experience with being bullied also speaks to so many varying types of experiences”.

“We thought it would be fascinating to explore that through the lens of a horror comedy and in our voice with our humour,” Drew said. “At its core, we wanted to craft a film that is about two people who simply want to heal their respective pasts: Max clearly needs to talk and process his trauma; Adam clearly needs to connect and be forgiven,” Matt and Drew explain.

“It couldn’t just be a straightforward revenge story because we wanted to thoughtfully explore themes like homophobia, gay shame, and ultimately how important forgiveness can be.”

Shooting will commence in September in Sydney and Matt and Drew are currently crowdfunding for the film via the Australian Cultural Fund.

“The film has moments that call back to old-school classic horror, so the use of in-camera special effects will be visually striking and hopefully shocking,” the writer-actor duo said.

The funds will go towards that, but also to shooting, catering, editing and post-producing with the aim of entering the film into the festival circuit upon completion, according to the funding page.

Die Bully Die will be directed by Nathan and Nick Lacey of Based Film, shot by DOP Patrick Coe and produced by Nicole Thorn, alongside Backer and Weston. Frequent creative collaborators, the team’s last project, Ghosted, was a Highly Commended Finalist for the Dendy Award for Australian Short Film Live Action at the 2022 Sydney Film Festival, and went on to screen at a number of Aussie film festivals. It also starred Matt Backer.

“We really love working with other up-and-coming Aussie screen creatives and being a part of showcasing their amazing talent and dedication to the arts,” said Matt and Drew.

They hope to inspire others through the film’s story to confront their own demons and embrace forgiveness as a path to self-love and acceptance. “And also, maybe make people laugh and gasp a little bit along the way too,” the creators add.

“We’re really leaning into the vibe of a 90s teen rom-com or horror flick so we’re hopeful that audiences have a blast with it as it’ll be one hell of a ride.”

Visit the ACF link here to support Die Bully Die and for further information and updates about the project.

[supercasey]

TF2 RED Headcanons by an idiot that can’t pay attention well enough to read the comics

Back on my bullshit, because I apparently can’t shut up tonight. This is gonna be a big, possibly in-cohesive mess, and will probably have more focus on Scout, Pyro, Sniper, and Spy since they’re my favs, but I still felt like writing down all my dumb headcanons/ideas regarding everyone’s favorite mercenaries (at the moment at least; I might make another post like this later on, hopefully after I’ve read the comics)! Sorry if any of these seem OOC, I’m just goofin’! (Putting this under a readmore because WOW this got LONG)

Every Sunday afternoon, Scout, Pyro, and eventually Sniper when he tells everyone that he's a trans guy, hold a makeshift “Trans Buddy Club” meeting, which mostly consists of Scout mindlessly rambling about drama on base, Pyro nodding along, and Sniper occasionally adding his two cents/spilling tea as well.

Scout can speak fluent French, on account of his mom making sure to teach it to him so he could have more of a connection to his dad, but no one found out until a little after Spy told Scout he was his dad. It wasn’t long after this that Scout revealed that this entire time, he’s known every single thing that Spy's ever said to him in French, but he didn't say anything because he thought it would be funny to keep the ruse going (also because he really liked being praised in secret). Cue Spy freaking tf out because oh no, now his kid knows that he's secretly a huge softie for not only his son, but his whole team.

Sometimes Spy and Scout talk shit in French right there in front of the team, but no one has any fucking idea what they’re saying and to be honest it’s pissing Soldier off the most, much to the father and son duo’s amusement.

Pyro secretly has a little black rabbit named Lucifer (Lucy for short) in their bedroom, which they only take out to get some fresh air and hop around very early in the morning, before anyone else is awake. The only people who know are Medic, Spy, and surprisingly enough Soldier, whose raccoons became friends with Lucy.

Sniper has a goldfish in his RV, but it died three months after he joined the team; he has no idea though because Miss Pauling replaces it every time one passes away, so now Sniper is convinced he has the world’s oldest goldfish.

Scout and Soldier both really want a dog, but they're not allowed to have one on-base. :(

((Heavy plans on sneaking a dog in next Christmas and no one can stop him. It’s gonna be a Border Collie named Bandit, and it gets the most attached to Scout and Heavy.))

Demo is no longer allowed to make mixed drinks for parties; the last time he did, he got everyone so shitfaced that they had to cancel work for three days in a row in order to recover from it.

Continuing off of that: drunk headcanons.

Demoman: Unassuming drunk. Acts like he usually does, unless he’s gotten particularly shitfaced for a party/event, in which case he’ll be slurring so bad that no one can understand him anymore.

Pyro: Giggly drunk. Is just laughing the whole fucking night at nothing in particular, which scares anyone who’s still sober. If they’re too far gone, they’ll start mumbling something that sounds like it’s in Spanish.

Spy: Party drunk. An absolute fucking mess, he’s trying to impress everyone and keep their attention on him, which usually leads to him standing on tables and dancing until he falls and passes out.

Sniper: Sleepy drunk. Out like a fucking light at the slighest bit of alcohol. If he wakes up and keeps drinking though, he’ll just be slurring like Demo, only with a lot more anger in his voice. Let him sleep, or he’ll fucking stab you to death.

Scout: Clumsy drunk. Bumps into anything and everything; eventually has to be given a sippy cup for his alcohol because he dropped three glasses in a row. Talks even faster than usual, until he accidentally fucking pukes on someone.

Soldier: Calm drunk. Instead of getting loud and aggressive like most would think/fear, he’s just… chillin'. Just watches the shitshow as it happens, not even laughing when people get hurt/fall down. Kinda terrifying if we’re being honest here.

Engineer: Depressed drunk. His depression goes through the roof if he has too much, so he doesn't drink more than a few beers if he can help it. If he does accidentally drink too much, he'll be sobbing his eyes out in no time flat.

Heavy: Cuddly drunk. It’s very, very hard to get him drunk, since he’s really good at holding his liquor, but if you do, he’s gonna be hugging and carrying everyone he can get his hands on; you can expect him to have Medic and/or Pyro on his lap once he’s drunk enough.

Medic: Angry drunk. He wants to start fights with fucking everyone, all his rage coming out once he’s had a few too many; god help anyone who tries to stop him. Luckily for all involved, Heavy is more than capable of holding him still until he tires himself out.

BONUS Miss Pauling: Dumbass drunk. With too many bottles in her, she’s gonna be the one shouting and encouraging Spy to act reckless, while also encouraging Engie to drink more because quitting is for losers. Will pass out within an hour or so of downing her first drink.

BONUS The Administrator: Stereotypical drunk. Slurring, stumbling, she’s got the whole nine yards, but she’ll be damned before she let’s anyone see her that messed up. Secretly sips wine at work.

Okay, back to my rambling.

My personal headcanon names and ages for Scout’s older brothers, going from oldest to youngest: Grant 34, Timothy 32, Jacob 31, Arthur 31, Patrick 30, Malcolm 27, Curtis 26, and Jeremy (Scout) 23.

((Also, I’mma go off on my headcanon personalities for them, which are based off of how I’ve tried portraying them in my "Jeremy" fic.))

Grant - 34 years old - Bisexual - Occupation: Veteran/Construction worker - Personality: the oldest of the bunch, he takes it upon himself to keep his little brothers in line/help Ma out as much as he can. Enlisted in the Air Force after he graduated high school, and still takes a lot of pride in his veteran status after serving overseas three separate times. The family peacemaker.

Timothy - 32 years old - Homosexual - Occuptaion: Cartoonist - Personality: the gentlest of his brothers, he often gets roped into helping Grant keep the pack from running too wild. Bit of a softie; loves his husband and loves his job. Closest relationship is with Scout. Doesn’t approve of Scout being a merc but is too scared to say so. The family heart.

Jacob - 31 years old - Heterosexual - Occupation: Freelance guitarist - Personality: the firstborn of the only set of twins, Jacob is a lot more abrasive and instigating than his twin brother. Can’t grow a beard for shit, which pisses him off. Doesn’t get along well with Timmy, despite them both being talented and devoted artists. The family sword.

Arthur - 31 years old - Pansexual - Occupation: Carpenter - Personality: the second born of the only set of twins, Arthur is far more outgoing and nonchalant than his twin brother. Has a beard and loves it more than life. Secretly has a boyfriend, but is too nervous to come out. Gets along better with Jacob after they’ve become adults. The family shield.

Patrick - 30 years old - Heterosexual - Occupation: Hairdresser - Personality: probably the least social of all of the brothers, he prefers staying out of sight and out of mind tbh. Used to practice cutting everyone’s hair when they were kids. Doesn’t talk to his brothers that much, mostly due to being busy/forgetting to call more. The family shadow.

Malcolm - 27 years old - Heteromantic Asexual - Occupation: Wrestler - Personality: the most aggressive and physically competitive of his brothers, there’s nothing he won’t do to win a fight, save for using weapons/lethal force. Hard to get along with, but he still loves his brothers to bits, and was overprotective of Scout when they were younger. The family instigator.

Curtis - 26 years old - Heterosexual - Occupation: Bartender - Personality: was a total fucking mama’s boy growing up, and constantly got in trouble with his brothers for tattling on them. Still argues with Scout every time they see each other. Wants to make Ma proud, but it’s hard for him to keep a job for very long. The family drifter.

Jeremy - 23 years old - Transmale Pansexual - Occupation: Mercenary - Personality: (This is mostly for how he was as a kid) was constantly following his brothers around (especially Malcolm) in hopes of getting in on the fun. Was always treated as the family baby, so everyone was a bit scared to wrestle/fight with him for fear of getting him hurt. Very close to Timmy and Ma. The family runt.

No one on RED team can fucking drive well, save for MAYBE Sniper, but even he hates doing it. Spy gets so goddamn mad within two seconds of driving, Pyro can't stop swerving, Scout drives like a 16 year old who hasn't realized their own mortality yet, Medic jumps at every little inconsistency on the road, Heavy shouts at other drivers for being too slow/fast, Demo's depth perception is shit, Engie drives like a 90 year old grandmother, and Soldier is fine except he will literally shoot at other drivers for tailgating him/cutting him off.

The whole team has designated “Team Bonding Days” thanks to Miss Pauling, which involves playing board games, card games, and video games (in a slightly more modernized AU) together… this, of course, goes badly sometimes. The worst incident they ever had was a bad game of Monopoly that almost ended Heavy and Medic's friendship.

Uno is forever banned from Team Bonding Days. No explanation is needed.

Off the battlefield and in the base, Miss Pauling had the team set up a chore wheel, which is only occasionally followed. Engie is the most dedicated to following it, while Demo and Sniper try everything in their power to avoid cleaning the base.

Spy sometimes disguises himself as other teammates in order to get out of doing his chores, which has led to a lot of shouting matches that ended in Spy being forced to admit it was his fault.

Spy's favorite teammates to disguise himself as are Engie and Scout. He likes being Engie because he gets to be more affectionate with people without being found out, and he can act as Scout incredibly easily due to knowing him so well (tbh he's so good at masquerading as Scout that it's scary).

For Halloween, everyone put their names in Soldier's hat, then proceeded to pull out other teammates’ names to dress up as for their Halloween party. I dunno exactly who would be who, except that Scout traded around to get Spy, steals one of Spy's suits, and just goes around the party bonking people with a plastic baguette he bought online and speaking in a purposefully bad accent.

Spy: Mon fils, you can speak perfect French and you fucking know it. Please stop making a fool of ton père.

Scout: Hohoho, wee wee, I am a fucking frog that gets pegged by baguettes, hoho!

((Spy is this fucking close to committing filicide.))

Everyone can actually cook pretty well, but only very specific things for each merc: Demo can mix and blend drinks (not just alcoholic ones) like it's nothing, Pyro and Heavy like baking, Medic can barbecue anything, Scout knows how to make a lot of shit from scratch (thanks, Ma), Spy and Engie can grill like the true dads they are, Soldier will deep fry every piece of food he eats, and Sniper makes the best soups and stews imaginable.

In order of least to most messy bedrooms: Spy, Heavy, Engie, Sniper, Pyro, Demoman, Medic, Scout, and Soldier. You'd think Scout's would be the worst, but Soldier's room looks like a literal fucking war-zone.

Even when they're not working but get injured in some way (namely from shenanigans/horseplay), people will straight up kill themselves in order to respawn without the injury. The pettiest thing anyone ever respawned off-duty for was Medic suiciding over a tiny ass paper cut.

Demoman is scarily competent at the weirdest of times. For instance, Engie was once trying to figure out how to fix an issue on one of his turrets, only for Demo to stumble over, completely shitfaced, and point out the problem as well as the solution, before passing out under Engie's worktable. Demo doesn't remember this at all.

The first time Engie swore in front of the team in excess (due to dropping a hammer on his foot while he was tinkering), everyone was absolutely horrified because they had only ever heard him say “fiddlesticks” and the like.

Medic's room may not be the messiest, but goddamn is his office a fucking bomb waiting to go off 90% of the time. No one but Medic can find anything in the mess, which is just fine by him.

Heavy likes to sing (mostly just to Sasha) when he's cleaning her in the locker room. The others try to be within hearing range when he does this, because holy fuck, Heavy is a very good singer! He mostly just sings soft songs/lullabies, so his singing is sometimes used by the team insomniacs to help them get some much needed rest.

Okay, another group one. The mercs during shopping trips together:

Demoman: Sneaks a shit ton of alcohol into the cart when no one's looking. Starts complaining if he has to be at the store for too long; will try and sneak away to go home at least once during the trip. Accidentally bumps into a display case and makes a huge fucking mess.

Pyro: Sits obediently in the cart the whole time, occasionally nabbing candy and stuffed animals off of nearby shelves. Will puppy-dog eyes their way into getting everything they grabbed, no matter how much it is.

Spy: Somehow managed to steal an employee uniform and he pretends to work at the store the whole trip; the other mercs keep accidentally falling for it and asking for his help. This all goes to shit when a Karen starts shouting at him over something he didn't do, and he straight up slaps her.

Sniper: King of forgetting wtf was on the list and just grabs shit on the grounds of “Doc said we needed milk, right?” and other such excuses. Knows where everything is despite never having come here before.

Scout: “Gimme the list, I can get everythin' in, like, ten minutes!” Wants to speedrun grocery shopping due to years of shopping with his mom and brothers. Will run loose if left unsupervised and accidentally bust ass on some spilled milk.

Soldier: The one who spilled the milk that Scout busts his ass on. Insists he knows where he's going, but doesn't. Gets into a fistfight with a soccer mom while everyone's waiting to check out; the soccer mom won.

Engineer: Has a full, printed list of everything the team needs, which is organized by aisle number. Is the one who gives into Pyro's begging. Team Dad; keeps an eye on everyone and stops the soccer mom from murdering Soldier.

Heavy: Pushes the cart the entire time. Spends way too money on stuff in the protein shake aisle. At one point runs the cart down the aisle and let's go because Pyro wanted him to, and it ends up crashing into Demo.

Medic: Argues with the pharmacists at the pharmacy counter. Got lost with Soldier until they found Scout unconscious, so he had to perform CPR in the dairy aisle and a fucking paramedic criticized him the whole time; the paramedic hasn't been seen since.

BONUS Miss Pauling: Tries to more or less chaperone this shitshow of a shopping trip. Starts out cheerful and happy, ends up threatening to put child leashes on every last one of these dumbasses.

After Spy taught him how to dance in Expiration Date, Scout goes to him occasionally for advice, such as how to change a tire, how to cook certain things, how tf to do laundry, etc. Spy secretly loves that Scout does this, and tries to help him as much as he can.

Everyone on the team has called Engie “Dad” at least once, even Spy and Medic. No one comments on it.

Medic has been known to go on hour long tirades about anti-vaxxers, with Engie sometimes joining in.

Heavy buys Pyro stuffed animals during his trips to visit his family, which has started a tradition of everyone buying Pyro stuffed animals/toys when they go somewhere without them. Pyro's room is starting to look like a preschooler’s dream bedroom.

Scout calls his mom every other Friday, and he’ll occasionally let his teammates talk to her. Soldier always goes on and on about how good a soldier Scout has been (Scout cries like a baby), Medic tells her about Scout’s latest injuries (Scout damn near chokes him over it), Sniper is just glad to talk to a mom who won’t scold him for the whole phone call, Pyro hums music while Scout’s Ma sings the lyrics for them, Heavy talks about living in huge families with her, Demo asks her how she’s doing and if he can help her out at all, Engie is polite and also praises Scout, and Spy just tells her he’ll call her later before hanging up (Scout punches him for being rude to his mama).

Spy calls Scout's mom on the Fridays that Scout doesn't, mostly to check on her and sometimes to get into some, uh, “steamy” conversations over the phone. Sniper overheard a conversation between them once and now he can't look Scout or Spy in the eyes anymore.

And that's all I've got for right now! I hope you all liked my stupid headcanons!

[jackdawyt]

Since my last news update in March, today I’m dissecting everything that has come out of the woodwork in April and May regarding Dragon Age 4. So, get some tea and let’s get this show on the road, because we’ve got over 4,000 words of news to delve into!  

Reveal? (game shows/new hire/remaster):

Following the cancellation of E3, EA Play 2020 Live has been officially confirmed as a digital show, taking place on June 11th, at 4:00 pm PST / 7:00 pm EST. 

Before the outbreak cancelled E3 2020, we knew Mike Gamble, the Project Lead on the next Mass Effect game had plans to make a physical appearance at E3/EA Play. So, the question remains, will BioWare still have a presence at EA Play this year?  

Mike Gamble is one of the key members of the Mass Effect team, I highly doubt he’s talking about revealing the next Mass Effect game which is currently in very early stages of development, and won’t release until after Dragon Age 4. Perhaps, Mike back in 2019 was hinting at revealing the heavily rumoured Mass Effect Remaster this EA Play?

Earlier in May, EA had a quarterly conference call and it revealed some fascinating information regarding future unannounced titles. Currently, EA have “one more EA HD title, Four EA Partner titles and two mobiles games still unannounced”. Also, EA said "multiple titles" are set to launch on Nintendo Switch this year.

The EA HD title refers to a remaster of an EA game, hence why most people are speculating at the Mass Effect Trilogy. Venturebeat went on to officially state that this title was indeed the Mass Effect Trilogy.

So, there’s one rumoured possibility for the Mass Effect Trilogy Remaster to be revealed this EA Play, which is cool! BioWare may have a presence this year after all! But I know you all didn’t come for Mass Effect; you came for Dragon Age. So, what do we know about that franchise and a potential reveal?

Jo Berry, a Writer at EA retweeted EA Play Live’s announcement with a party emoji! 👀  

This could be absolutely nothing, but at a whim, perhaps a reference to a Dragon Age 4 teaser, or EA Motive’s new I.P since she has worked within both teams....  

On top of that, Brianne Battye, Writer at BioWare tweeted about her 8-year journey at BioWare. She’s very grateful for sharing her work, and the awesome people she’s worked with along the way.

Patrick Weekes replied saying they: “Cannot wait for everyone else to see what you've been working on recently. :)”

Then, Brianne said: “Right back at you :)”

Two HUGE witters on the Dragon Age team are excited for everyone else to see what they’ve all been working on recently! 👀 When I saw this tweet, I was trying to stay calm and keep my expectations low, but come on when you see a tweet like this, you just get so excited! The question is, when will we see what they’ve been working on, and is it anytime soon? Please?

Well, there is something else we need to talk about that may relate to a potential tease.

Hilary Heskett, who used to be EA’s Global Product Manager has returned to work at EA and BioWare. Put simply, she’s a Digital Marketer for BioWare.  

Hilary; particularly, was heavily involved in Dragon Age: Inquisition’s marketing! In fact, the majority of her work at EA involved representing BioWare as a brand online creating trailers, key art, screenshots, packaging, and advertisements. So, it’s a fair assumption that she’ll be fulfilling the exact same role for future BioWare titles like Dragon Age 4.  

With Hilary joining the team at this point in development, could the marketing stages of Dragon Age 4 soon begin, perhaps at EA Play? Or later on in 2020? Or is she going to be marketing the Mass Effect Remaster?

I sound impatient, but, in the past BioWare have a habit of starting the marketing stages of their products at least two years before an initial release.  

With that, we’ve got to ask ourselves, is hiring a marketer at this point in time a mere coincidence? or is it preparation for when marketing does start? Are we on the verge of seeing Dragon Age 4 official content soon?  

Not to waffle on, because we’ve got a lot to talk about in this video, but I was hired as a Digital Marketer for an app company in the UK. As I understand it, you normally enter projects, mid-to-end of production, because what would a marketer do in the early stages logically? Your role is to be there for the advertising of the product.  

So, in BioWare’s case, it's my understanding that Hilary has joined the team with one year full-swing production, is she about to begin the marketing stages of the next Dragon Age game? Is the game ready for that stage? If anything, I think with Hilary’s background, she’s the perfect person to market Dragon Age 4.  

On top of EA Play, Geoff Keighley announced Summer Game Fest, a new industry-wide celebration of video games. Showcasing digital news, In-game events, & playable content. EA are headlining the event with EA Play, but there are many other world premieres spread throughout the summer. So, there’s a potential for other trailer reveals later on in the year, not to mention The Game Awards.

And, there’s also this leak that shows Dragon Age 4 on a list of PS5 games from the newest issue of PlayStation magazine UK. PlayStation are having an event on June 4th, so we’ll find out if this leak is true soon enough.

If we’re going to see anything Dragon Age 4 related this year, EA Play is the biggest contender for a reveal. I know the whole world could do with that right now! At this current moment, there is no schedule for the show. However, Saria, myself, Fusselkorn and maybe other content creators will be streaming EA Play, no matter what, so turn those reminders on and come join us in our clown suits.

Development (teases/production):

Moving on to teases and development updates. Currently, BioWare are hiring a ‘Senior Outsource Producer.’

This is a pretty big deal, to those who don’t know what a ‘Senior Outsource Producer’ would do...

“Outsourcing development means to hire out any process of a business to third party. The process helps your company or organization to grow.”

To grant more perspective, during Mass Effect: Andromeda’s development, major aspects of the game's animations were outsourced to other EA studios. 

However, this isn’t going to be the same for Dragon Age 4, this role is for one Producer to help the outsourcing team into a robust and comprehensive department that supports BioWare projects in all aspects of development.  

I have friend in triple AAA games, and they had something to say about outsourcing regarding Dragon Age 4: “To be honest, I'd say (outsourcing is) different per studio due to scope. But with something big like Dragon Age I'd probably say outsourcing would start early to mid-production as they have a hell of a lot to do. Some studios outsource from the get go though so that's also possible. And It's rare that outsourcing starts in the final leg of development.”

What I understand from the job posting is that BioWare are looking to hire a producer who will be dedicated to outsourcing so they can establish a pipeline and maintain proper standards for outsourcing. This hiring was posted in May, so the studio might be a few months early from when they actually have to outsource. However, this process will be coming up soon in major development.  

Moving on. In early April, Mark Darrah went on a twitter rampage sharing many tweets relating to Dragon Age 4. One tweet stated: “Is tweeting more going to make you all speculate more or less?”. Followed by a poll with the answers “more”, “less” & “Dragon Age 4!?”

The following week, Mark Darrah teased his three Wolf-Rook books he has placed on a shelf at home.

Later on, in the month, he decided to stack each of them, prompted with the caption: “Spoiler: these are a terrible building material…”

Just last week, Mark tweeted the Wolf-Rook book once more, with the following meme: “Dear men, what is preventing you from looking like this?”

This cheeky tease encouraged Melissa Janowicz (Gameplay Designer) to join the fun and share her own Wolf-Rook book! She said: “It's an absolutely gorgeous book. I'll treasure it for life.”

Ahhh. The secrets these books could hold about Dragon Age 4’s core concepts.... And Mark Darrah is just staking them together, making book forts out of them, as you do! 😂 Maybe one day, we’ll uncover the secrets held within every page, but that day is not yet upon on.

On the same memey day, Chris Anderson, (Application Development/Publishing Support at BioWare) tweeted: “Other people are teasing things, so what the hell, here's an image that I used in something I was working on today.” With a pink image shown.  

Chris and Melissa followed a Twitter conversation about pink being the “perfect colour for when you need something that screams temp.”

Basically, this pink actually has some context for the development of Dragon Age 4. ‘Temp’ means temporary textures, the first blocked out layer of a texture before actual detailed textures are added.

This can refer to many scenes or models in the early texturing phases, as art assets are still in the approval stages. On a wild, out-there whim, perhaps the team are wrapping up a trailer for a reveal? Maybe?... please?

John Epler (Narrative Director) shared his most controversial opinion of all time:

I loved the Hinterlands, but as a fan of the previous Dragon Age game’s ‘linear with freedom' approach, I appreciate John’s take on open world’s since Dragon Age: Inquisition, perhaps this will shape the way forward for future BioWare titles?  

Alix Wilton Regan, voice actress of the Female British Inquisitor retweeted Autumn Witch’s poll asking if people believe the Inquisitor will return as a voiced appearance in Dragon Age 4. Alix tweeted: “C’mon #DAI Fans, you know what to do ;)”

Patrick Weekes replied to Alix’s post with an eye's emoji 👀.... I think I speak for everyone when I say, in some capacity, the Inquisitor has got to return in the next game!

In another tweet, Patrick Weekes teased potential new companions when a Twitter trend placed 5 Dragon Age characters in 6 different camps went around the platform.  

When choosing their preferred camp, Patrick Weekes tweeted: “Finally, in Camp 7, it's turned into a bit of a mess, with coffee grounds spilled everywhere and the couch inexplicably on fire after a drinking game gone wrong. But that's another story.” 

Of course, there’s not much to tear apart here, but we have acknowledgement of the next party members! It sounds like they’re a wild bunch already!  

In early April, Mark Darrah answered a few current development tweets:

So, that’s...Splendid.

Karin Weekes (Editor) tweeted that they “got to sort/catalog/document updates to made-up languages at work today.”  

Following that tweet, @ladyiolanthe asked Karin: “Do you think BioWare might ever be able to release Qunari, Dwarvish, and Elvhen lexicons in a World of Thedas Volume 3 sort of book? Or is that unlikely since they're ciphers and maybe there isn't a standardized grammatical structure, etc?”

Karin replied with: “That’s an interesting idea - I, for one, would find it a hoot! I might send out some feelers…” Any books of made-up languages I can get my hands on would be greatly appreciated!  

Alain Baxter, (‘Production guy’) tweeted: “BioWare review of content today. All I can say is “Scriplet”. 😎

Apparently a ‘Scriptlet’ is an action verb. Alain is teasing premature scripts as they ‘perform their function’ So, something exciting is going down in the scripts, to be worked on in-engine. Or maybe it’s just an inside joke?

John Epler tweeted a great design message about “how 90% of ‘bad’ decisions are, in fact, the best decision at the time. For John, that will always be the camera zoomed conversations in DA: I. People didn’t like it, and asked why not just make them full scenes. But that’s not the decision they make in-house. It was 'make them simple conversations or else cut them'. Game dev is all about making the best decision you can at the time, with the resources you have .A lot of stuff you thought was weird or awkward came down to a gut call of 'this is the best I can make this and I trust it's good enough'. Sometimes we're right, sometimes not.” 

 Awesome words to think on, Dragon Age 4 will be amazing, I’m sure, but just remember to set your expectations right and realise everything design-wise, happens for a reason.  

Shifting to other design aspects. Jos Hendricks (Senior Level Designer) tweeted:

Mike Jungbluth (Animation Director) tweeted: “Just reviewed something in game that hit THIS LEVEL! Hot damn, moments like this are what I live for.” 

Both tweets are incredibly excited and telling of development for Dragon Age 4, it sounds like they’re building and prototyping an epic scene equivalent in scale to the attack at Haven scene? Perhaps, Solas destroying the Veil? Who knows, but it sounds epic, and I’m living for both dev.'s enthusiasm!

For the final tweet regarding the development side is from Åsa Roos (Principle UX Designer)

A UX designer writing about Solas? That must be for codex entries? Right? More lore on our Rebel God!  

Unannounced Dragon Age Game:

In my previous March news update, I discussed brashly about the developers on Dragon Age 4 still claiming that this project has not officially been announced yet, however, The Dread Wolf Rises teaser in 2018 certainly alluded to an announcement regarding the next Dragon Age title. Following this story, we have many sources providing clarity on Dragon Age 4’s current ‘unannounced’ situation.  

Patrick Weekes confirmed that they are “working on an unannounced game in the Dragon Age universe.”

Patrick said: “We would LOVE to be able to say more. We are really excited about what we’re working on. But we can’t share anything right now. Sorry!”

In April 2019, I painted this unannounced situation rather conspiratorial, I said that perhaps the Dragon Age dev’s can’t share anymore on the next game because Anthem was the next project, and EA are forcing them to not speak on Dragon Age. In an attempt to maintain the crowd by not letting BioWare developers regard Dragon Age 4 as the next working project in the works.

However, I don’t think it’s that deep. I think the developers are just under an NDA, and literally can’t speak about the game.  

In Episode 121 of the Anthem-based ‘Freelancer Codex’ Podcast - as a guest, Melissa Janowicz shared that the developers on the secret Dragon Age team cannot talk about the next game, in fact, they can barely talk about the contents of The Dread Wolf Rises teaser trailer.

Chris Anderson also emphasised this same point in a tweet:

As a side not, someone asked Chris why not lie and come up with fake answers to fool the fans, and Chris said: “That can, unfortunately, get me in nearly as much trouble!”

Which shows the validity and value in BioWare developer tweets. The developers can’t just lie about the project either. Which honestly helps someone like me out.

As we know, a game is coming, yet it’s still is very much unannounced, probably because as Jason Schreier reported in 2018, Dragon Age 4 is going to change at least 5 times in the next two years, perhaps BioWare don’t want to show us anything because they don’t want to set anything in stone, or show gameplay that is not representative of the final game.  

But that doesn’t extend to a CGI trailer, or a full title drop, Maker knows that would be amazing, and is within the realm of possibility.

New Lore/Fun:

We have some new lore, and other fun things I wanted to share.  

Dragon Age Comic Writer, Nunzio DeFillipis talked HUGELY about the red lyrium idol and what was originally planned for their comics.

Nunzio recently mentioned in the Unofficial Bioware Forums that the comic characters from Deception were originally chasing the red lyrium idol.

Nunzio stated that the original plan for the comics would've had the characters retrieve the red lyrium idol. Only to have Solas take it back. Eluding to the idol's planned whereabouts before the plot changed since Joplin's cancellation and BioWare's shift regarding this idol in the comics.

Does this still mean that the location of the red lyrium idol is most likely in the hands of Solas and might only be discovered in Dragon Age 4? Or does the next protagonist have a shot at retrieving the idol before Solas finds it?

It seems like a bummer that the original comic idea was scrapped and the writers were forced to change narrative direction regarding this particular idol.

As a funny tweet I saw. Emily (Domino) Talyor tweeted using her overheard in the office hashtag:

BioWare dev’s can’t even tell their kids, folks.

And, regarding the Fuzzy Freaks livestream. Patrick Weekes’s response to my question, asking how does Solas kill dwarves in their sleep if they have no connection to the Fade, was “very effectively.”  This will be a mystery I will personally be investigating when we have our hands on the game.  

Considering it was really fun for those who watched the Fuzzy Freaks livestream, I’m going to share other silly takeaways:

Patrick Weekes doing a New York accent for the Carta Dwarf is amazing!

“DREAD DUMBASS” - is a jokey dialogue option that Karen Weekes scribbled notes for future reference.  

Patrick likes soft romances and happy endings! IRONICALLY.

Patrick’s style of writing is less high fantasy and more modern.

@DrunkDalish, Co-founder of Dragon Age Day interviewed both Karen and Patrick Weekes. As a lover of Dragon Age lore, these interviews reveal so many loving tidbits that you should read for yourself. However, something I noted that was very significant regarding the future is based on Masked Empire’s ending. So, spoilers for that, but Felassan’s fate isn’t what it seems. Perhaps this elf could come back in the future if needed.

Wellbeing:

And, we come to the last topic, this one is centred on the BioWare staff’s wellbeing. Last year, there was a Kotaku article revealing the crunch and working conditions at BW, there was a lot of worry and confusion in the air that the people working on these games were struggling mentally because of senior management and many other reasons. With that in mind, I’m dedicating a section in these news updates to the wellbeing of the developers, any signs/tweets of positivity and hope will be shared in an effort to see if there has been any change in the BioWare offices since Anthem’s release.

It seems like things are going pretty well and people seem happy and optimistic about the next Dragon Age.  

If there are any major updates to a Dragon Age 4 tease at EA Play, I'll be sure to make an update video, but otherwise, be sure to join our livestream as see for ourselves what waits us this EA Play.

Let me know your thoughts down below, what do you think about a potential EA Play teaser, where are your expectations at?

[weshallc]

Berns Night.

So we’ve had a lot of birthdays @thatginchygal @rahleeyah @wednesdaygilfillian (sorry I missed that one) @roguesnitch coming up and @ilovemushystuff is celebrating too! and @h4t08 finally joined Tumblr and @clonethemidwife has returned and there are lots of new folk. Sooo I felt like throwing a party and there ain’t nothing like a Crown Inn party!!!!

This was supposed to be a Crown Stoppy Back but had other ideas so I will post the first chapter tonight as people are still recovering from Burns Night. Don’t worry if you are not familiar with the Burns Night traditions they will be explained more in chapter two. Probably 3 in all. We shall see as they say!

As always, I would be lost without @lovetheturners endless patience and thanks to @roguesnitch for encoraging me. This is dedicated to the most bonniest of lads I hope you had a great birthday and Burns Night with the Bard himself this year😉😘🤗 

CHAPTER ONE: FAIR FA’ YOUR HONEST, SONSIE FACE

“Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face, Great chieftain o' the pudding-race! Aboon them a' ye tak your place, Painch, tripe, or thairm : Weel are ye wordy o'a grace As lang's my arm.”  Address to a Haggis by Robert Burns 1786.

Monday 25th January 2016

“His knife see rustic Labour dight, An' cut you up wi' ready sleight, Trenching your gushing entrails bright, Like ony ditch; And then, O what a glorious sight, Warm-reekin', rich!”

The room was swept in darkness apart from the light of the wolf moon and the north star penetrating the cold window panes. All eyes were facing towards a wooden table and the elderly man stood behind it. He was in his 60s and wiry, small for a man, but with a silver mess of what once must have been a bonnie head of fire red hair. The body may have looked weak, but the intensity in his bright blue eyes cut through the dimly lit surroundings.

As he spoke again, his voice filled the room, cut through the anticipating silence. It was a voice that could take a knife and slice right through a soul. The knife in his hand in turn sliced through the offering in front of its high priest. Years of performing the same action with such a passion resulted in precision. The faithful entranced by the spectacle all gasped as one as the incision was violently made. No one daring to speak. Suddenly the trance was lost as artificial light rudely brought everyone back to the present with a blast of the pipes.

“All done then Reverend Mannion? Can I serve the Haggis now? Don’t want it getting cold now do we, not at £15 a head.”

“Aye, Violet the ceremony is over, it’s time for eating and drinking something the bard would have approved of, rightly so.”

The kilted clergyman winked at an auburn-haired girl in the crowd and tipped his whisky tumbler toward her. She raised her own glass and winked back. Her companion at her table was much taller with dark hair styled in a tidy no-nonsense bob.

The tall one leaned toward the small one and asked, “If it’s already dead, why does he have to kill it?”

“What?”

“The Haggis if it’s already dead why does he have to kill it?”

Her friend opened her mouth to speak, but she saw a tender hand take hold of Chummy’s arm and explain it was all just ceremony, it was tradition.

“Like all that malarkey at our passing out parade, the day we got our badge. That wasn’t about police work, was it? It’s just tradition.  It’s what the English do well.”

He had been doing really well up until then, but a golden raised eyebrow made him alter his stance. “It is what us Brits do best.”

The raised eyebrow whispered to the police constable. ”Peter, Chummy really doesn’t think a haggis is a real animal, does she?”

He was not the kind of man that would turn heads, but he had a kindness in his eyes and an openness in his face that she thought some would see as attractive. If only Camilla wasn’t his superior, and they didn’t work such long hours together, what might have been?

She knew her friend well and sensed more queries would follow. Not sure as a Scot brought up on Tweavenside and now living in London she could provide satisfying answers. Picking up their empty glasses and heading to the bar was a strange sort of refuge for a vicar's daughter and inner-city missionary.

There was a queue well sort of a queue. In London a queue was made up of people standing in an orderly line and the person who had been stood the longest getting served first. In Poplar-on-Tweaven it resembled more of a rugby scrum and the person who shouted the loudest being ignored and anyone who called the barmaid by name being bunked up the order. She wasn’t familiar with busy bars but she was bright enough to work out the system.

“Val, when yer ready hen.” The request came from someone not sure that was their own voice they had just heard yelling those words.

All her life she had been immersed in the wonders of the Bible and was still amazed at how so many miracles had been performed. She had heard all the CPR arguments regarding resurrections and all that, and was still not convinced. But she now knew how Moses had parted the Red Sea, he had known the barmaid’s name was Valerie.

“What can I get you, chick?”

“Here! I was first.” A grumpy voice struck up.

“Oh Al, you are always first. Let me serve this lass and then I will sort you out”

“Promises, promises.”

“Yeah in your dreams, pal.”

She was starting to feel uncomfortable she hadn’t meant to jump the queue. Maybe she should go back to the table and let Peter get the drinks. A man’s voice interrupted her thoughts, it was quieter than Al’s but held an authority. It wasn’t a Tweavenside accent, but it had a northern softness.

“You serve our impatient friend Valerie, I will see to this young lady.” Then turning to his new customer, “What can I get you, pet”

“Erm a whisky and lemonade and erm a pint, please.”

“Which whisky and a pint of?”

She wasn’t sure; she nudged her bottom onto a vacant stool for security.

“Are you with the law?” The tall bartender nodded towards Chummy and Peter,

“Yes, yes I am.”

“OK, so that’s a Grouse and diet lemonade, just a dash and a pint of Buckles Best

and for you?”

He stepped back a minute. “Your Reverend Wilf’s daughter?”

“Yes, I am.” Bernie suddenly felt more sure of herself. She was never completely certain of who she was when back in Poplar

“Bernadette?” The stranger was grinning now, his brown eyes glinting under the harsh bar spotlights, or were they green?

“Well, that’s my Sunday name most people call me Bernie, even Dad.”

“Well, since I’ve never seen you in here on a Sunday or any other day. I will call you Bernie. I am Patrick Turner, most people call me Paddy, a few Doc.”

“Oh no, you won’t have seen me here on a Sunday or any other day. I live in London now and before that, well I am not a big drinker.”

“What can I get you then?” asked Paddy loitering near the coke and lemonade pumps.

“A gin and tonic please, better make it a double it’s quite busy, save me coming back.”

Paddy smiled. “Premium gin?”

“Yes.”

While the optic was emptying into the glass, he asked, “You must have known this old place when Evie ran it?”

“Yes, I know Evie and J..Jenny”

“Oh yes. Jen was here when me and the wife took over she was a great help. We get a text every now and again, doing well for herself now all loved up.” He winked at her as he ended the sentence causing her to panic slightly.

“I was sorry to hear about your loss.” She wished she hadn’t said it.

Val had seemed to deal with ten customers to Paddy’s one and now there was just the two of them alone at the bar. He looked at her in a sort of a non-direct, sort of direct way, under that infuriating fringe she wanted to reach out and push back.

“Loss is as much a part of love as is healing,” he replied with a hint of melancholy but without irony.

She was stunned and tried to find a corresponding Bible verse, but she drew a blank.

She focused on what was real and what was present, her dad had taught her to do that. What was in front of her at this precise moment was a glass of gin and ice and a twist of lime. He was now unscrewing a bottle of Mediterranean slimline tonic.

She yelped, “No!” as he lay the bottle alongside the glass.

“Sorry most people add the tonic to the gin and I cannae bear it drowned.”

“Wouldn't dream of it surely that would be very presumptuous of me.”

“Aye well, most people I've met are very presumptuous.”

“Maybe you have spent too much time in London. if you don't mind me saying, Bernie.”

“Well, to be fair we don’t spend a lot of time sitting on stools and propping up bars in my part of London.”

“More's the pity.”

“Can I bother you for a...”

Paddy popped a black straw into her tumbler.

“I will make sure when you come home next time none of my staff will be presumptuous.”

“Oh, I doubt you will remember me, Paddy. I only come up to see my Da. I can't imagine you will be seeing much of me in the future, hardly likely that I would ever be considered a regular.”

“Now who is being presumptuous?”

Bernie went to put the straw between her lips but paused, realizing the stranger was still watching her. She suddenly felt uncomfortable. As heat rose in her cheeks and she suddenly felt awkward on the stool, squirming to find some sort of comfortable position. The stranger smiled in a way she could not understand; it wasn’t smug or suggestive, but as if there were sharing a joke, but she wasn’t sure what the joke was.

She hopped off her seat, for a brief moment realizing her arse was in the air and prayed he had altered his gaze. Focusing anywhere but behind the bar she grabbed her glass and bottle in one hand, put the whisky against her elbow and waist, the pint in her other hand, turned and swiftly moved toward her thirsty friends.

Shelagh Bernadette Mannion don’t you dare look back and see if he is watching you he is recently widowed with a son, Da said. He is, what do they call them now, a bloomer or something like that. God has shown you his path for you and it certainly does not include the Crown Inn, Poplar-on-Tweaven.

He is still watching me, I can feel it.

[spine-buster]

Alone, Together | Chapter 15 | Morgan Rielly

A/N:  Thanks to everyone who told me / reported / helped with the plagiarism fiasco on AO3.  It was very much appreciated since I don’t have an active AO3 account.  Please, if you see my work copied anywhere, let me know!  For now, I am only posting this story to Tumblr.  I might decide to post to AO3 in the future, just so this never happens again.  I’ll let you know if/when I do.

Still loving all the Mo/Bee canon questions.  Keep them coming!  And if you haven’t seen, I’ve posted the playlist link for Spotify.  I’m working on the YouTube version.

Anyways, it’s Christmas in June!  Merry Christmas!

Since knowing Angie, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day had grown to be Bee’s favourite days.  It wasn’t because of the small gifts her family gave to her, or because she got to stuff her face with amazing food.  It was because Angie’s younger brother, Joshua, would set up board games for the family to play on Christmas Eve before they went to midnight mass at their local Catholic Church, and then he’d put funny IOUs in everybody hand knit stockings (that he knit himself) on the fireplace mantle.  It was because Angie’s family had a cozy wood-burning fireplace at their house that her dad would roast chestnuts in while her mom opened the tub of ice cream and scooped some out for everyone even after their enormous meal.  It was because their family dog, an old Cavalier King Charles spaniel named Sarah Jessica Barker (yes, really) would curl up on Bee’s lap as the family watched whatever movie was on TV.

Angie’s house, for however much it was not Bee’s home, felt like her natural home.  Besides her old apartment, it was where she felt most at ease, where she could kick her feet up, fall asleep on the couch, go into the fridge whenever she was hungry, and drop in whenever she wanted.  There was always room for her.  There was always space.  

When she arrived with Angie and Mason on the morning of Christmas Eve, Rocco and Clarette welcomed her with open arms and warm hugs.  Their house was decorated with all of Joshua and Angie’s old Christmas artwork from grade school, poinsettia tablecloths, and figurines on Santas, snowmen, penguins, polar bears, and more.  It sort of looked like Christmas threw up, but Bee loved it.  She loved how festive Clarette got and she loved how Rocco just let her decorate the house however she wanted.  

“How are yooooooouuuuuu,” Clarette cooed as she let go of her tight hug, her French Canadian accent music to Bee’s ears.  “I haven’t seen you in such a long time!  Angie told me you finally finished school.”

“I did!”

“And your graduation?  When is your graduation so we can book the day off?”

“Mom, you’re both retired.  You don’t need to book off anything,” Angie deadpanned.  

Bee giggled.  “It’s not until June, Clarette,” she informed her.  “You still have a lot of time.”

“What about jobs now?  Are you going to join Angie at Indigo?” Rocco joined in.  His voice was stern and serious, but Bee knew he was a complete softie who talked to the dog in a baby voice.

“I don’t think they’d allow that.  They’d destroy the place,” Mason piped up.  

“She’s in finance Rocco,” Clarette chastised her husband.  “She’s gonna handle our retirement savings.  Right mignonette?”  

“Sort of.”

“Well come in, come in.  Go drop your stuff off in your room,” Clarette encouraged.  “I’m going to make some tea.  You want your Earl Grey?  Rocco knows how to make a London Fog now.  We got a new machine.  Angie, tell Joshua dad is making London Fogs for everyone.”

Rocco and Clarette’s house was everything that Bee envisioned a family house to be.  It was a side split in the suburbs with three bedrooms on the second floor and a room converted to a fourth bedroom on a split level between the main and the basement.  It was very homey, not ostentatious in any way, although Rocco and Clarette did invest in some upgrades before they retired, like a new kitchen, a fresh paint job, and some new floors and furniture in the main living areas.  It was perfect and modest – what Bee dreamed of when she saw her life ten, fifteen, twenty years from now.  It was everything she could want.  

Her room was always the fourth bedroom.  When Rocco’s father lived with them for two years before he passed away, Bee would just shack up with Angie, but now the room was dedicated to her again.  She threw her weekender bag on the bed and plopped down dramatically, taking in the scent of the freshly washed sheets.  Clarette had even put a little chocolate on the pillow.  She was in heaven.  

A slight knock on her door revealed Josh standing in the doorway with a smile on his face.  At twenty, he was a tall, lanky university undergrad studying theatre at York University.  He wanted to become the next Shakespeare, or at least the next Laurence Olivier.  He even had a prop skull on his bedroom desk.  

“How’s my favourite Angie friend?” he asked, leaning on the doorframe.  

“Your mom’s the best.  You know that, right?”

Joshua chuckled.  “I do.”

“I hope you kiss her every night.”

“When I make it home,” he winked, waltzing into the room.  “Angie told me you’re done with school.”

“I am.”

“So are you going to be able to tell me what a poor starving artist I’ll be once I finish this theatre degree?”

Bee snorted.  “You’re going to marry rich, Josh.  Remember?  You’ll be richer than all of us combined.”

“I don’t think I’ll be richer than everyone,” he said, sitting down on the bed beside her.  “A little birdie told me you’re dating a Toronto Maple Leaf.”

She rose from her position dramatically.  “Your sister’s got a big mouth.”

“I’m sure Mason appreciates it.”

Bee pushed him over.  “You’re fucking gross, Josh.”

“Stop trying to deflect.  She told me it’s Morgan Rielly.”

“It is Morgan Rielly.”

“And how’s that going?”

“Fine,” she side-eyed him.  “How’s Patrick?”

“Fine,” he gave her the same side-eye.  “He’s back home in St. Thomas, but we’re seeing each other Boxing Day.”

“That’s sweet,” she said, and she meant it sincerely.  She was glad Joshua found someone that made him happy.  “Are you guys gonna join your sister and I at the Eaton’s Centre?”

“We’re going to have brunch first, then we might, depending if we’re in the mood,” he said.  “Are you…I mean, how are you feeling about everything that happened?”

Bee knew that Angie would have told her family.  She was an extension of the family, so it was only natural.  And it was only natural that Josh was worried, that he cared about her and that he wanted to make sure she was okay, since it only happened a month ago.  “Better now,” she said, giving him a smile.  “I’m living at a new place with a doorman and stuff.  It feels much safer.  I got some new clothes and a new laptop, and everything’s been good.”

“My parents were really torn up about it,” he revealed.  “My dad was ready to hop in the truck and drive down to the Annex.  Angie had to stop him.  Told him it was already being taken care of.”

“Yeah.  Morgan helped a lot,” Bee revealed.  “And, um, you know, some of the other Leafs.”

A grin appeared on Joshua’s face.  “Look at you.  Getting help from the Leafs.”

“Hey kids!  London fogs are ready for you!” Rocco called loudly from the kitchen area.  “Get ‘em while they’re still hot!”

“C’mon, let’s go,” Josh stood up, extending his arm for Bee and pulling her up from the bed.  “Angie told Dad too and he’s gonna interrogate you for the remainder of the day.”

***

Christmas morning was typical of the Favaro household.  At around 8:15am, Bee heard Clarette clanking around in the kitchen, preparing a quick breakfast that everyone would eat before they moved on to opening presents.  Soon, she heard Josh’s voice helping her out, probably preparing the pot of coffee.  Every Christmas morning, he was the designated bacon fryer – a job he took very seriously, since bacon was always the first thing to go.

When Bee emerged from her room, still in her pajamas like everyone else, she got a big hug and a kiss from Clarette.  Josh, already too busy with the bacon, pointed at his cheek for her to come over to where he was standing at the stove and kiss him, which she did.  Soon enough, Rocco, Angie, and Mason arrived, and everybody did their part to set the table and plate the scrambled eggs and bacon.  Rocco slapped Josh’s arm for eating a piece of bacon before everyone else could.  Angie almost spilled the entire sugar jar all over the counter.

When breakfast was done, they made their way into the family room to open presents.  Sarah Jessica Barker trotted over to the commotion and jumped up onto the armchair Bee was sitting on, snuggling herself into Bee’s side as Mason passed everybody their presents.  Bee bought Clarette and Rocco gifts every year despite their insistence that she not, and she also usually bought a gift for Josh.  

Clarette and Rocco began unwrapping their gift from Bee at the same time.  She got them both books – for Clarette, Elena Ferrante’s Neopolitan novels in her native French, and for Rocco, Warlight by Michael Ondaatje since he wanted to take up reading now that he was retired.  

“You’re always so thoughtful, Bee,” Rocco said, smiling at her as he read the book sleeve.  “I remember taking Clarette to go see the English Patient when it came out as a movie.”

“I’ve been wanting to read these forever!” Clarette exclaimed as she took the plastic film off.  She elbowed her husband next to her on the couch.  “You know, because they’re in French they’ll be closer to the original Italian.”

Josh opened his gift too – a mug with a packet of David’s Tea.  He drank more tea than the entirety of Britain, so it was only fitting.  Bee’s gift to Angie and Mason, S’well bottles, also went over well.  Josh got her a floral scarf, which she loved, and she threw it over her shoulders dramatically.  Angie and Mason got her a candle and a nice white frame, undoubtedly to put a picture of her and Morgan in for the new apartment.  Clarette and Rocco gifted Bee a nice cutting board, knowing how much she liked to cook, and also a gnocchi board that she was super excited about.  “From the good Italian supermarket,” Rocco said, nodding his head.  “That was probably made by an old nonna somewhere in Italy.”

“I’m gonna use it next week,” she said, her fingertips feeling the grooves, thinking about Morgan’s return to Toronto and how she cold make him homemade gnocchi now.  When Bee thought all was said and done, she noticed one more box under the tree that nobody had touched.  “What’s this one?” Bee asked, nodding towards the large box.

“Oh honey, that one’s for you,” Rocco said.  “Your man friend dropped it off.”

She froze at the mention.  She looked to Angie, who was actively avoiding her gaze.  “You…you mean Morgan?”

“Mhm,” Rocco nodded his head.  Josh handed her the box.  “Came yesterday afternoon.”

She gulped.  How did he even find the time to drive all the way up to North York to deliver it?  What could he have gotten her?  She…she didn’t get him anything.  She wrote him a nice card and stuffed it into his carry-on as a surprise for him, but she didn’t explicitly buy him a gift for Christmas.  She didn’t think he would for her either.  She should have known better though.  This was Morgan.  

Bee ripped open the sides carefully, and in one long stretch, the wrapping paper was pulled back to reveal ‘Mulberry’ on the box.  She froze again, her hand resting over the letters.  She knew exactly what this was.

She looked up.  The entire Favaro family was looking at her.  She took a deep breath.  She didn’t want to do this in front of them.  “Can I…um…can I…”

“You can go to your room if you need to dear.  I’ll start the hot chocolate,” Clarette nodded her head.  She got up and pointed at all the wrapping paper, then pointed at her husband.  “You.  Clean that up.”

Bee picked up the box, half-wrapped, and scurried into her designated bedroom, plopping the box down on the bed before closing the door.  She took a deep breath before ripping the rest of the paper off.  When she opened the box, she lifted up the dust bag and pulled out the Amberley satchel bag in the most gorgeous and perfect oxblood colour.  She had seen it with Lucy when they had gone shopping, and Bee had commented on how beautiful it was – the most perfect bag in the world besides the Birkin.  Lucy urged her to get it, but there was no way Bee could have justified the purchase after the Chanel bag, the Louis Vuitton bag, and the Yves Saint Laurent bag.  Lucy must have told Morgan, because of course she did. 

As Bee ran her fingertips over the pristine leather, she noticed two square outlines still in the dust bag.  She couldn’t even fully take in the absolute beauty of the bag after noticing them.  She set the satchel down gently and dug into the dust bag, pulling out two identical blue boxes with Birks ribbon wrapped around them.  

Bee gulped.  She had walked by the Birks storefront on Bloor Street West countless times, trying not to ogle the pretty and blindingly shiny diamonds in the window.  Now she was holding two boxes from them in her hands.  She was going to kill Morgan.  Absolutely murder him.

She began to open one, delicately pulling on the ribbon and opening the box to reveal a stunning gold bracelet.  Bee’s cheeks flushed as her fingertips felt the pearl and onyx.  She tried to imagine it on her wrist – and realistically, she could have just taken it out of the box right then and there and put it on – but for some reason, she didn’t.  It didn’t feel real to her; it didn’t feel like it was hers yet.  She didn’t get gifts like this.  She didn’t get expensive jewellery from boys – from anyone – and it didn’t feel like it was meant for her, although she knew Morgan probably scoured the store or the website for hours looking for the perfect gift.  

The second box.  She pulled the ribbon again, opening the box.  What she saw inside made her chest tighten fiercely.  Tears formed in her eyes automatically.  A beautiful, delicate necklace, in matching gold, with a bumblebee medallion.  For her.  Bee.

Morgan’s Bumblebee.

She grabbed her phone and ripped it out of the charging socket before dialling Morgan’s number.  As it rang, she barely registered that it was still only about 6am in Vancouver and he probably wasn’t even awake yet.  

“Mornin’,” he mumbled into the phone, not bothering to say hello.  “Merry Christmas.”

“Morgan…” she began, her voice cracking.  

“Are you okay?” he asked, his tone immediately switching.  The last time he got an unexpected phone call from her and she sounded like this, it wasn’t exactly the best.

“I’m fine,” she clarified, wiping a tear from her cheek.  “But what’s wrong with you?”

“What?”

“You’re nuts, Morgan.  Absolutely nuts,” she continued.  “This is a $1500 dollar bag.  More, I think.”

“Yeah, so?”

“I can’t accept this!”

“Wait, what?  Is it the wrong one?  Lucy said you loved it in the store!” he got worried.

“Morgan…I love it, it’s gorgeous, it’s the most perfect bag ever created aside from the Hermes Birkin, but I cannot accept this as a gift.”

“Why not?”

“It’s a $1500 bag!”

“I feel like we’re going around in circles here,” he admitted.  “That’s the bag you liked, right?  Lucy was adamant that that’s the one you liked.  The colour and everything.”

“Morgan, it is, but --”

“The bag isn’t even the important part,” he interrupted her.  “Did you find the jewellery?”

“Yes,” Bee said, and at the mention of the jewellery, new tears fell down her cheeks.  “Morgan, why are you like this?” she asked, not knowing how to word it in any other way.  

“Briony…”

“Why are you so nice to me?  Why do you buy me nice gifts all the time?” she asked, trying not to let her voice crack.  

“Bumblebee,” he began, his voice sombre.  “How many times do I have to tell you that you deserve it?” he asked rhetorically.  

“You know that you don’t need to like���buy my relationship, right?” she asked.  “I’m not some girl that needs to be bought.  I’d still be with you if you weren’t a rich hockey player.  I’d still like you and still cook for you.  I came from absolutely nothing and I can go back to nothing.  I’d give all that stuff back if I had to.”

“I know Bumblebee, I know.  But I’m gonna keep repeating it until it gets to you.  You deserve nice things.  I want to spoil you because you deserve it, not because I’m trying to buy you or anything.  You.  Deserve.  Nice.  Things.  For.  Once.  In.  Your.  Life.”

Bee tried to take his words to heart, but it was hard.  It was hard to take to heart when she wasn’t used to it.  It was hard to take to heart when growing up, Christmases and birthdays weren’t celebrated because it wasn’t affordable.  It was hard to take to heart when since sixteen years old she had been literally counting pennies to stay afloat.  Most importantly, it was hard to take to heart when her mother told her she didn’t deserve anything.  “Thank you Morgan.  I really…I really love the bumblebee necklace.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah,” she said, wiping away the last of her tears.  “It’s beautiful.  I’m gonna think of you whenever I see it or touch it.”

“Good,” he said.  “My Bumblebee.”

There was a moment of silence.  “I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything.”

“Um, what you got me Friday night was enough,” he said, chuckling slightly.

Thoughts of that night came rushing back to her and she felt a shiver go up her spine.  It was probably the best sex she’d ever had.  Memories of it still flashed through her mind from time to time.  If she got lost in her thoughts, she could still feel Morgan pounding into her or pulling her hair.  She still had the marks on her ass to remind her too.  “Yeah.  That…that was good,” she said quietly, trying not to get too riled up thinking about it.

“When I come back, I wanna fuck you wearing only that necklace,” he said in an equally quiet voice.  His tone sent more shivers down her spine.  “Unless you have some other pieces you’re waiting to surprise me with…”

She smiled.  She thought about some of the other sets of lingerie she bought and wondered how he would react to them.  “You’ll just have to wait and see.”

He groaned in response.  She giggled and he groaned some more.  “You’re such a fucking tease.  Fuck.  I woke up hard dreaming about what I’m going to do to you when I get back.”

“This is the Lord’s Day,” she joked.  “I don’t think he appreciates your dirty mind or you getting hard the morning of his birthday.”

He groaned even louder and she let out a heart laugh.  “Don’t remind me.  We still have to go to Church.”

“Will I be able to talk to you later today?” she asked.

“Absolutely,” he said.  “After my wine drunk nap I take after lunch, I’ll call you.  So maybe three or four my time.”

“Okay,” she agreed.  “Merry Christmas, Morgan.”

“Merry Christmas, Briony.”

She paused before hanging up the phone, wondering if there was anything else to say.

***

The Eaton’s Centre was packed.  Bee tried to get Angie to wake up on time so they could at least get there at mall opening, but Angie was a bitch in the morning and liked to sleep in, so they were late.  It was 10am by the time they arrived, and shoppers were in full swing.  Angie was doing a majority of the shopping anyway; Bee didn’t exactly need anything more.  Maybe she’d pick up a book or two.

But first, coffee.  

As they stood in line in the Starbucks at Indigo, Bee looked down at her phone to field some more messages from another round of bots that seemed to have infiltrated her Instagram.  She began automatically deleting the messages until one message in particular caught her eye.

R u dating morgan rielly?  Do I have ur attention now?  U didn’t answer me last time.

She furrowed her eyebrows.  Who was this person?  She clicked on the profile, but whoever it was had it on private; the only thing Bee could see was a half-face selfie of a girl who looked five years younger than she did with false lashes and lipstick.  She went back to her inbox, deciding not to delete the message.  Instead, she took the opportunity to actually read what was being sent to her.  It became adamantly clear to her these accounts weren’t bots.

If you’re dating Morgan shouldn’t you be prettier and skinnier?  Sent from a girl with a bikini shot as her profile picture.  

are the leafs wags as nice as everyone says? i wanna become one who is single?  Sent from a girl who didn’t look older than 12.

Cut your hair.  It doesn’t look good.

Do you really think Morgan doesn’t cheat on you when they’re on the road?  Hockey guys have bunnies in every city.

Ur just a puckbunny wanting morgan’s money.  stay away from him!!!!!!!!!!

You’re such a slut.  Stay away from Morgan.

Just another puckbunny making her way around the leafs.  You are pathetic.

“Grande caramel macchiato with coconut milk for Briony!”

So u go to u of t and u think ur smart?  Whatever bitch

What does Rielly see in you?  You’re so ugly

“Bee, you should grab your drink before someone else steals it.”

Why don’t u post pics w morgan

Can you please post pics with morgan so we can see

Why are you so close with some of the wags but not with others?

I hope u know morgan prob just keeps you around as a fuckbuddy.  He’s got them all over the city.  There were hundreds of girls before you, and there will be hundreds of girls after you.  Actually, there are prob hundreds of girls DURING you too.

“BRIONY!” Angie’s voice screaming her name pulled her out of her trance.  When she looked up, Angie was holding both their drinks, shoving her caramel macchiato towards her.  “What’s so important on your phone?”

“N-Nothing,” she said, locking her screen and shoving her phone into her jacket pocket.  

“Did Morgan send you a dick pic?”

“Can you not?” Bee slapped the arm of her best friend.  “You’re so crude.  You’re just like your brother.”

“Well, same genes and all.”

“Where are we going first?” Bee changed the subject.

“We need to go to Sephora.  If the Nars Sheer Glow is as good as you say it is then I need to get some.”

As Briony followed Angie around in Sephora, she tried to get rid of the thoughts swirling around her head about the messages from the random girls.  She assumed this is what Morgan meant when he said some Leafs fans could be crazy and obsessive.  But were these fans?  Or did these girls just want to hook up with Morgan?

As Angie chatted with a Sephora consultant about her foundation shade, Bee took out her phone again to see the rest of the messages that were sent to her.  A lot of them were variations of the messages she had read earlier.  Some accounts had even messaged her multiple times.

Can u pls post pics with mo where u show his face pls ppl are wondering if ur dating him and we need to know

Aren’t you a little too fat to be a wag?

What’s stephh lachancee like in person shes so pretty

Ur a puckslut.  Ur only after Mo’s money.  U should be ashamed of urself

Everybody knows you’re dating Morgan so there’s no point in hiding it anymore.  The more you deny it the more we’re gonna message you.  Just post a pic with him already.  Get over yourself.  You’re such an attention seeker by NOT posting a pic with him and it’s honestly ridiculous.  Stop lying and stop trying to play coy.

Bee mostly wondered where these people got the audacity to send her such messages.  She didn’t understand why they were being so hostile, and why they wanted information about something that was so clearly private.  Did they just think she would message them back?  That she’d reveal juicy, salacious details about their relationship?  That she’d send them pictures of Morgan that were on her camera roll?  What exactly did they want?

As she started to delete all the messages, she heard giggles and saw two girls out of the corner of her eye.  They were whispering to each other something Briony couldn’t hear because of all the commotion in Sephora, but then she swore, she swore she heard the iPhone camera shutter sound.  She looked up immediately to see the girls giggling at something on the phone they were looking at.  The phone wasn’t in her direction, but Bee got self-conscious.  When they both looked up from the screen at the same time and noticed Bee staring at them, they stopped giggling.

“Are you taking a picture of me?” she asked.

The one girl, with the phone in her hand, looked like a deer caught in the headlights.  It was her friend that came to her rescue when she piped up, “No no!  We’re not!  We just love your Chanel bag.”

Bee looked down at the bag, the one Morgan had technically paid for, with pearls adorned all over it, the logo still shining against the leather and satin material.  She looked back up at the girls, who were still looking at her.  “Um, thanks?” Bee didn’t know what else to say.

“Where’d you get it?” the one with the phone asked.  These girls weren’t older than sixteen.

Bee gave her a look.  “At Chanel…?” her response came out more as a question than a statement.  Where else would she buy a Chanel bag?  

“Right.  Of course.  Sorry if we…we just really liked your bag,” they scurried away, looking mortified but still smiling at each other as they ran out of Sephora, looking down at the girl’s phone.

“Bee?!  Where’d you go?  I found the shade!” Angie’s voice called from the next aisle, her head slightly above the top shelf.  “Come here!”

Bee returned to the Nars aisle, and saw that the beauty expert had matched her skin tone perfectly.  “That looks amazing, Angie.”

“Where’d you go?” Angie asked, grabbing the foundation from the beauty expert and putting it in her basket.

“I just had teenage girls take a picture of my bag,” Bee said, shaking her head in disbelief still that it had happened.  “That was…I’ve never had that happen to me before.”

Angie shrugged her shoulders.  “It is a nice Chanel bag.”

[jawnjendes]

don’t want your hand this time | shawn mendes

chapter 1/?, university au, shawn x goth oc

AN: i know i know i posted a thing yesterday but UUUHHHHH im just tryna get to the saucy parts of this bc SOMEBODY decided to be all hot n sexy in a certain music video ANYWAY this is just an intro chapter of sorts and we are introducing some new characters!! lmk your thoughts thots!

***let me know if u wanna be added/removed from the taglist

masterlist | playlist coming soon

When Annalise Flores has shit to do within a time limit, she forgets about everything else. Her phone goes on silent, she ignores her other obligations, and she makes sure to get whatever is in her focus done. This has proven to be disastrous in the past, like when Annalise just needed to clean the entire dorm before starting any homework assignment was due the next day. Or when she reorganized the filing closet at the dealership before adding up the gas receipts she was ordered to do. You get the idea.

Annalise was very determined to get all of her unopened boxes, and her clothes to fit in her tiny, beat up car so she didn't have to make multiple trips, given how far campus is from Shawn's apartment. He promised he would help her move when he got home, he had that huge Jeep after all, but Annalise was way too antsy. Besides, they already fought about this, and she didn't want to start anything all over again. She didn't want him to feel obligated to help if only one of them was into the idea of her moving out.

After pushing on the car door three times, it finally clicked shut. Annalise successfully managed to stuff all of her clothes and half her boxes into the backseat. The rest of the boxes were in the trunk. The windows were all covered, so maybe she wouldn't be able to see her blind spots, but at least Annalise wouldn't have to make a second trip. She silently thanked the Tetris gods for blessing her with the appropriate skills as she went back up to the apartment.

Shawn's living space didn't look that different with all of Annalise's belongings out. Most of it was all stashed into the "recording" room over the summer, and neither of them spent any time in there. There was more space in the closet now, too. It was no longer just a black abyss, and all of Shawn's belongings were now undisturbed. Annalise debated smuggling out his black Nike hoodie, but given the circumstances it was best to leave everything as it was. The apartment didn't look any different really, but Annalise still felt an ache from her throat down to the bottom of her feet as she removed the spare key from her chain and left it on the glass dining table. This was easier than saying goodbye to him in person.

~

Campus was nowhere near as quiet and lonely as the apartment. Students were running around like headless chickens, trying to locate buildings, schedules, and friends. She already had a key to her dorm, so she parked near her building and carried her backpack and two boxes up the walkway. Annalise's resting bitch face and the clunk of her boots on the ground gave her less of a struggle to push past other students. Weak and fragile as she was these last couple of months, she's still got it.

The dorm building wasn't too far from the last one she lived in, but it was going to be a bitch getting to her classes. Maybe she should invest in a bike… or she should get her shit together and take the bus.

Annalise's new dorm was on the third floor, and it was furnished. Weird, yes, but she was not going to complain. It was a bit smaller, but not cramped. There was a tiny hallway between the two bedrooms, and one cramped bathroom. She noticed one room already had boxes sitting on the floor, and she couldn't help but get just a little excited. Stella hadn't completely abandoned her. Annalise wasn't even mad about their three month long silence, she was just happy that she would be seeing a familiar face.

She didn't run into Stella at all during the multiple trips she took bringing all her stuff in. Annalise knew she was here, though. Her perfume scent was always left behind in any room she had been in, and Annalise definitely caught the scent in the dorm. The same amount of boxes were still in her room by the time Annalise finished bringing all of her's in. She figured she could have texted Stella, but she kind of wanted to surprise her… even though they both knew about the other.

She checked her phone anyway. The only text she had was from Shawn.

"How come you didn't wait for me?"

Pursing her lips and smudging the signature black lipstick, Annalise cleared the notification and went to sit in the armchair in the living room. She was way too tired to try to reason with him. She certainly couldn’t jump into the "I miss you" crap so quickly either. She didn't want to, but Shawn obviously did when he sent another text. Out of sheer habit, Annalise opened the notification instead of clearing it, and she cursed under her breath.

"You've been gone only a few hours and this place already feels so sad and empty. Why did you leave your key?"

Yeah, she left him on read. She didn't know what else to say to him.

Thankfully, the lock on the door jiggled and in came Stella carrying a large cardboard box. She gasped and her hazel eyes lit up when she saw her dark natured roommate. She quickly squatted down and set the box on the floor before coming at Annalise with open arms.

"Mi esposa hermosa!"

Annalise will never say this out loud, but Stella gives wonderful hugs. They two girls haven't seen each other in over three months, so getting a nice tight hug was something that was really needed. They rocked from side to side, giggling at the motions. It was like nothing had really changed.

"When did I become your wife?" Annalise asked, amused as she leaned back to look at her.

"When we decided to live together for the third year in a row!" Stella replied. “Oh you got a little…” Her thumb rubbed under Annalise’s lip, showing her the black.

“The struggles of being goth,” she joked.

Stella giggled, and then the rambling began. "How are you? I'm so sorry we didn't talk much over the summer. Did you stay with Shawn the whole summer? Oh, is he here?" She bounced on her feet, looking around the dorm.

"Uh yeah, I did stay with him the entire time," she told her. "And no, he's not here. He's working."

Annalise knew he wasn't. He had found her abandoned key, which meant he was home. And he was probably sulking. And he was going to sleep alone...

"But he'll be here later, right?" Stella asked, nudging her arm. "Y'all are gonna christen your room, eh?"

She really had to ask, didn't she? She really had to jokingly ask a question that would change the expression on Annalise's face, thus warning her of the things that had happened. She wasn't sure why she kept an obviously fake smile on her face as she silently stared at her roommate. The silence alone wasn't enough, apparently.

Normally, Stella would dramatically gasp, sit her down, and ask Annalise to spill every detail. Instead, she sighed.

"Fill me in while you help me bring my stuff up."

~

Classes and club meetings resumed within the next couple of days, so it gave Annalise plenty of excuses to keep her texts to Shawn dismissive and short. She knew he was coming and going from campus for class too, but due to their different majors, he was going to be very far away from her. Not to mention, he didn't know where her new dorm was located, so it wasn't like he could track her down.

Except… Annalise had to retake biology. She knew Shawn was at the science building quite often, and she had hoped her bio lab fell on a day that he was at the fine arts building. But you know, life just happens, and sometimes you see your mans between classes. Sometimes you just see him leaving classroom, towering over the other students because he’s a giant. Maybe you’ll see him with a very short girl at his side, and they’re both laughing at something. Maybe he won’t see you either because he’s balls deep in banter with this random girl.

There was a lump in Annalise’s stomach following that minor event, and it made her anxious and uneasy for the first day of that class. Still, she was determined to stay on board with the separation they both agreed on. It was better that way for now. She didn't know about Shawn, but Annalise fully intended on keeping the distance, suspicious-looking friends be damned.

Anyway, she could find friends of her own too. Gaming club meetings started up again that Friday, and it was something to look forward to. After god knows how long, Annalise attended said meeting after receiving an email from the head of the club, Josh. He and his friend, Paul, ran the club most of the time. They managed to get plenty of people to sign up during the rush earlier in the week but only seven of them actually attended the first meeting. Just like every year.

Both Josh and Paul were scrawny blond boys with "nice guy" complexes. They were polite for the most part, given that they inducted Annalise into the club the moment she signed up. But they also quizzed her on just about every popular, mainstream video game there was once they realized she would actually be showing up to the meetings. It took time, and a bit of Annalise telling them off, but they were civil towards each other now.

"Annalise!" called Chad as the lady herself entered the classroom in the communications building. He was another member, and he had his two frat bros with him, Kyle and Jared, and they both chanted her name in their deep, manly voices.

All different heights, but same amount of insane muscle. For lack of better words, these guys were meatheads with good intentions. Chad was a student with one of the highest GPA on campus, practically competing with Josh. Kyle was the star student in his major, sports medicine. Jared was that guy who beat up bigots as a hobby. All three of them were fully dedicated to their fraternity, Sigma Chi.

Then there was Patrick, who nodded to Annalise as a greeting. She nodded back and took the empty seat next to him in the circle.

The people who think Annalise Flores is a complete hardcore goth have not met Patrick Markowski. This was a guy who was always decked out in leather, ripped jeans, and black eyeliner. He had a proper faux hawk, which is what made people notice him the most. He typically surrounded himself with other goths, unlike Annalise. He was truly dedicated to the lifestyle, while she deviated from even that sometimes. This was the only guy in the club Annalise was actually friends with.

Anyway, all seven of these nerds shared the same appreciation for video games, which brought them all together in a circle, in an empty classroom, in the communications building this evening. However, Annalise's entrance caused the guys to deviate from the main topic.

Josh and Paul had been staring at her with their mouths open the second she entered the room. The Frats were visibly excited and each gave her a high five. Patrick merely stayed quiet and smiled.

"Heard you almost fucking died!" Chad told her. "And you didn't tell a single one of us!"

"I thought you had actually died," Josh spoke up. "Since you never miss a meeting and all."

So that got around. Cool.

“I wasn’t dying,” Annalise said, rolling her eyes. “I just had part of my colon surgically removed.”

“No way…” Jared said in wonder.

“Oh, that’s disgusting,” said Paul with a gag. He brought the collar of his red Pizza Planet shirt over his mouth.

The Frats stared at Annalise in awe, almost impressed by her vague explanation. She really didn’t understand the fascination, given everything that happened during and after the hospital. Of course, they knew nothing about any of that. At the same time, Annalise was annoyed at Paul’s dramatic reaction, so she kept talking.

“It might happen to you too if you don’t take care of yourself and listen to your body,” she told him. “Or worse, you could end up with a bag of your poop attached to your belly.”

Paul gagged again, much louder this time. Then Annalise decided that that was enough and directed the conversation to the club’s main topic: video games.

“So who’s played Team Sonic Racing?”

It was only the first meeting, so the group made a plan to bring their Switches and play next time. The Nice Guys prompted to play a round of Fortnite online later, but Annalise was not up for that game in the slightest. Too mainstream. Too chaotic. She never could get into it.

“Well, we can play without you,” Paul suggested, “not everyone has to join in.”

“Isn’t that a rule, though?” Patrick asked pointedly. “If we’re gonna play something together, we all have to agree on one game. Besides, I don’t play Fortnite either.”

Paul's eyes darted around, trying to look for a counterargument, but he sighed. “Fine. Anyone else got any suggestions?”

“What about a D&D campaign?” Annalise said. “Or some type of board game?”

Josh scoffed. “It’s video game club. Besides, me and Paul already have a campaign with our other friends.”

“‘Course you do,” she mumbled, folding her arms.

“Ooo! I got an idea!” Kyle spoke up, raising his massive hand. “We should hit up Bart. That bar with the art and retro games?”

Annalise perked up. Finally, someone with a brain cell. “I participated in a Smash Bros tournament there. It’s really fun, we should all go one weekend.”

“A bar?” Josh said in distaste.

“Yeah! It’ll be a class field trip or something!” Chad agreed. “It’s awesome, bro! They got a Gamecube and an N64! Sometimes they do karaoke night, but only with songs from different games!”

Then, Kyle looked at Annalise with a smirk. “Bet your boyfriend would perform there, eh?”

Even when she was far away from him, Shawn still had a presence wherever she went. “Heh, maybe…”

Luckily, none of these guys were the type to hover. The subject went back to going to Bart one weekend, and then the group chat was revived to discuss further adventures. Once the meeting was adjourned, Patrick followed me out the door.

“So, Annie. No offense or anything,” he said, walking in step beside her as they walked down the corridor, “but what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“My summer was great, thanks,” Annalise said, too busy glancing at her phone to cringe at that awful nickname. No new messages for once.

“Nah, seriously. You were in the fucking hospital, and I find out through Snapchat?” he asked seriously. “Did you even tell anybody? What the hell happened?”

She didn’t remember posting anything about her hospital stay anywhere on social media. However, the only two people who were there with her were social media freaks. Stella was the type to tweet every single one of her brain farts, and frequently Snap where she was every second. Shawn was less active on his platforms, but he was still quite popular in the Toronto area, so he had a sizeable following. Annalise knew he took a picture of his hand holding hers while she was in the hospital at least once. Maybe it made it to his Instagram story a couple of times.

Sighing, Annalise gave Patrick the gist of her exciting adventure with her large intestine. Some underlying guilt wanted to be felt as she recalled staying and Shawn’s for so long, but she decided to spare those details.

“Looked death in the face, eh?” he said, nodding in what looked like approval. “Badass.”

She chuckled. “Guess I wasn’t ready to be yeeted off this mortal coil.”

“Ugh, you use the word yeet? How much has that guy changed you?” Patrick stuck his tongue out at her, flashing the piercing he had on the muscle.

“Hey, I’m more down with the kids than he is.”

The pair were quiet as they made it out to the courtyard. The night was chilly and cloudy, the only light coming from the lampposts on either side of the walkway. It felt different knowing Annalise was with only a friend rather than her mans, and she tried to ignore the ache in her chest and the urge to talk about him.

“Do you remember what it was like?” Patrick asked after a minute. “Being so close to death?”

“Nope,” she replied simply. “Although, when I was under, I had a really vivid dream that my… uh, Shawn cheated on me.” Way to not talk about him.

“You sure it was a dream?”

They were passing by one of the picnic tables, where Patrick pointed to. There was a group of people standing around the table, and two people sitting on top of it. One of those people was Shawn with his acoustic guitar. He was singing with the girl who was sitting next to him, the same one he was walking with at the science building. It wouldn’t have seemed weird if Patrick hadn’t said what he said. It would have been left alone if Annalise hadn’t thought about that stupid fever dream.

“Come on,” she said to Patrick as she stalked off towards the group.

“I was joking!” he said with a laugh.

Still, Annalise walked with a purpose and he followed her. She clutched the strap of her shoulder bag and kept her chin up as she made herself apart of the tiny audience. It was quite the sight, two nerds decked out in all black and heavy eyeliner amongst a group of normals watching two other normals sing a pop song. No lie, Annalise just wanted to get a look at this girl she had never seen before.

Olive skin. Black, curly hair. Very short next to her guy. Very pretty voice coming out of very pretty lips. She looked at Shawn and he looked back at her as they sang an eerily familiar song. Musically speaking, they seemed good together.

“I’ll leave you with the memory, and the aftertaste…”

The tiny audience clapped. Patrick was nodding in pleasant surprise, probably having never heard Shawn’s songs before. Annalise applauded as well, but she couldn’t help the narrowing of her eyes as she watched Shawn and this girl high five each other.

They were both comfortable with all the attention, it was easy to see. Shawn was beaming in a way that hadn’t been seen in a long time, and then he laid eyes on Annalise. He still had that smile on his face, even though it faltered a little bit. She kept her face neutral and quirked her eyebrows at him as a silent greeting.

“Should I leave you guys alone?” asked Patrick as he and Annalise watched Shawn get down from the table top.

“No,” she replied simply.

She almost regretted having him stay. He had to witness Shawn and Annalise attempt to figure out how to greet each other. A side hug would have been awkward for reasons not only having to do with the guitar strapped to his shoulder. She definitely couldn’t kiss him, because that would have started something she had been trying to distance herself from. They finally settled for a mildly uncomfortable handshake, and Shawn kept holding her hand as he spoke.

It had been almost a week since Ann moved out, and she only sent him one text in that time span. It was the black heart emoji. Better than nothing, but not better than seeing her in person.

“You haven’t answered my texts,” Shawn told her. If she was going to decide when she'll give him attention, then he wasn't going to beat around the bush when he saw her.

“I’ve been busy,” Ann replied, feebly attempting to shake her hand away.

Shawn nodded, but he wasn't thoroughly convinced. Between work and school, Ann was a hermit. Or so he thought, given that she now had this new goth dude at her side. “So, who’s your friend?”

“Who’s yours?” she quickly said back.

“I’m Patrick!” said Patrick, holding out his hand. “Annie and I go way back!”

Shawn let go of her hand to shake his. “Nice to meet you, brother. Wait… Annie?” He chuckled.

Her cheeks heated up, and she decided to move her eyes somewhere else, specifically on Shawn’s unnamed singing partner. She was chatting with some of the other people still around the table. Annalise noticed she talked with her hands a lot.

“She lets me call her that even though she hates it,” Patrick said, snapping her back into the moment. “Right, Annie?”

“Do not,” she warned. Then she looked at Shawn. “So who’s the chick you’re singing with?”

Shawn took in an almost reluctant deep breath as he turned and called the girl over. If there was anything he had yet to discover, it had to be if his girl was the jealous type.

Annalise's dark brown eyes narrowed once again while he wasn’t looking. Call it anxiety or paranoia, but she was oddly suspicious. Patrick caught the glare though, and he nudged her arm to snap her out of it.

“Ann, Patrick, this is Alessia,” Shawn said when the very short girl joined them. “She’s a first year. Alessia, this is my…” He elongated the vowel. “Annalise. And her friend Patrick.”

Okay, so… a sinking feeling in the tummy. That’s what that felt like. Couldn’t be mad, though. Annalise wasn’t so quick to use the boyfriend word these days.

“You’re Annalise!” Alessia said in pleasant surprise. She did not hesitate to hug her, arms going around her shoulders and practically pulling her down to her level. “It’s so nice to meet you! I’ve heard so much about you!”

Honestly, Annalise was just glad she didn’t call her the goth girlfriend. Or the goth anything, for that matter. She didn’t hug Patrick, though, but he didn’t seem to mind.

“So, how did you two meet?” Annalise prompted. So maybe she was a little more than curious to know how and when Shawn found the time to get another girl at his side.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Shawn replied a little too quickly.

His eyes bored into hers, throwing them into a staredown. He broke through the fake, polite smile Ann had on. Of course he broke it. He was the only one who could. However, Shawn couldn't read the expression she had on. He couldn't tell if she was upset or not, happy or not… He couldn't tell if she wanted to change her mind about this separation or not… Ten months together and Ann was still a mystery.

“Uh, Shawn and I have like, every class together,” Alessia said slowly, looking between the couple, noticing the sudden change in atmosphere. She scratched the back of her head.

“Annie and I have been in the same club for two years,” Patrick added in the same tone. He too noticed the tension.

“Oh, which club? There’s some I’ve been checking out…”

Those two kept up the conversation. Shawn’s gaze on Annalise made her throat close up. He wasn’t smiling or feigning politeness anymore. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were hard and glossed over. Inexplicable guilt began to form in her chest yet again. She knew he didn’t understand.

_______

taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @ilsolee @mendesromano @1-800-khalid-mendussy @kitykatnumber @strangerliaa @iloveshawnieboi @poppyshawn @shawnsunflower @shawnvvmendes @yourdelightfullyleft @shawmndes @havethetimeeofyourlifee @calyumthomas

[bountyofbeads]

Trump Clears Three Service Members in War Crimes Cases https://nyti.ms/2CPN4qu

Trump is once again abusing his authority and presidential authority, signaling to those who defy Congress or break the law, that he'll pardon them. THIS IS SHAMEFUL AND DISGUSTING!!!

Trump Clears Three Service Members in War Crimes Cases

The moves signaled that as commander in chief, Mr. Trump intends to use his power as the ultimate arbiter of military justice.

By Dave Philips | Published Nov. 15, 2019 Updated 7:44 PM ET | New York Times | Posted November 15, 2019 |

President Trump cleared three members of the armed services on Friday who have been accused or convicted of war crimes, overruling military leaders who had sought to punish them. All three have been championed by conservative lawmakers and commentators, who have portrayed them as war heroes unfairly prosecuted for actions taken in the heat and confusion of battle.

In a statement released by the White House late Friday, Mr. Trump announced that he was ordering the full pardon of Clint Lorance, a former Army lieutenant, from the military prison at Fort Leavenworth, where he is serving a 19-year sentence for the murder of two civilians.

He ordered the full pardon of Maj. Mathew L. Golsteyn, an Army Special Forces officer who was facing murder charges for killing an unarmed Afghan he believed was a Taliban bomb maker.

And he reversed the demotion of Chief Petty Officer Edward Gallagher, a Navy SEAL who was acquitted of murder charges but convicted of a lesser offense in a high-profile war crimes case over the summer.

“The President, as Commander-in-Chief, is ultimately responsible for ensuring that the law is enforced and when appropriate, that mercy is granted,” the White House statement said. “As the President has stated, ‘when our soldiers have to fight for our country, I want to give them the confidence to fight.’”

The moves signaled that as commander in chief, Mr. Trump intends to use his power as the ultimate arbiter of military justice in ways unlike any other president in modern times.

Top military leaders have pushed back hard against clearing the three men. Defense Secretary Mark Esper and Army Secretary Ryan McCarthy have argued that such a move would undermine the military code of justice, and would serve as a bad example to other troops in the field, administration officials said.

Mr. Trump’s actions were first reported by The Washington Post. They were previewed last week on the Fox News show “Fox & Friends” by one of the hosts, Pete Hegseth, who said he had spoken to the president and described him as having “fidelity to the war fighter.”

“The president looks at it through that lens, a simple one, and important one,” Mr. Hegseth said, adding, “The benefit of the doubt should go to the guys pulling the trigger.”

A Navy official said SEAL leaders first learned of the plans from the Fox News broadcast, and since then have lobbied against clearing Chief Gallagher.

The three men have been portrayed in conservative media outlets and social media posts as dedicated warriors battling enemies who wear no uniforms and follow no laws of war, only to be unfairly second-guessed by military lawyers and commanders far from the scene of battle.

Mr. Trump echoed their frustration on Twitter in October, saying about Major Golsteyn, “We train our boys to be killing machines, then prosecute them when they kill!”

Experts were unable to name any other recent case of a member of the American armed forces receiving a presidential pardon for a violent crime committed in uniform, except for one granted by Mr. Trump in May. And it was strikingly unusual, they said, to clear a soldier of murder charges before the case is tried.

“I’m not sure it’s ever been done,” said Gary Solis, a retired military judge who served as an armor officer in Vietnam.

Referring to the only soldier convicted in the gruesome My Lai Massacre of civilians during the Vietnam War, Mr. Solis said: “People think Nixon pardoned Lieutenant Calley, but he didn’t. Calley was paroled.”

Presidents all the way back to George Washington have granted pardons to tens of thousands of American troops, but nearly all were young men who deserted or who evaded a draft, and received clemency after the fighting ended.

While the new pardons are a stark departure from tradition, they are in line with Mr. Trump’s many statements during his campaign and in office, arguing that to beat unconventional enemies like the Taliban and ISIS, the American military should loosen the reins on how troops behave in conflict zones.

“You have to play the game the way they are playing the game,” he told NBC News in 2016.

The specific circumstances of the three men’s cases defy easy characterization. In one, a decorated captain admitted to a killing in a job interview. In the other two, platoon leaders’ illegal actions were reported not by superior officers or Pentagon lawyers, but by their own platoons.

Troops who testified in those two cases, against Lieutenant Lorance and Chief Gallagher, voiced disappointment and disbelief over Mr. Trump’s plans for clemency before they were announced.

“The tragedy of pardoning Lorance isn’t that he will be released from prison — I’ve found room for compassion there,” said Patrick Swanson, a former Army captain who was Lieutenant Lorance’s company commander in Afghanistan. “The tragedy is that people will hail him as a hero, and he is not a hero. He ordered those murders. He lied about them..”

Mr. Lorance was a rookie Army lieutenant who had been in command of a platoon in Afghanistan for two days in July 2012 when he ordered his troops to fire on unarmed villagers who posed no threat, killing two men. He then called in false reports over the radio to cover up what had happened. He was immediately turned in by his own men.

Mr. Lorance, whose story is the subject of a new documentary series, was convicted of second-degree murder by a court-martial in 2013, and he has been in prison since then, serving his sentence at Fort Leavenworth in Kansas.

Major Golsteyn was charged in 2018 with premeditated murder over a killing that took place in 2010, when he was a captain in the Army Special Forces leading a team during Operation Moshtarak, one of the biggest combat operations of the war in Afghanistan. He admitted in a job interview with the C.I.A. the following year that, during the battle, he had killed a suspected bomb maker who had been captured and released, saying he had done so to protect civilians and his own men.

An initial Army investigation resulted in a reprimand but no charges. However, after Major Golsteyn publicly admitted the killing during a 2016 interview on Fox News, the Army reopened the case and charged him with premeditated murder.

Chief Gallagher was charged by the Navy in 2018 with shooting civilians in Iraq, killing a captive enemy fighter with a hunting knife, and threatening to kill fellow SEALs if they reported him, among other crimes. The charges stemmed from a 2017 deployment in Iraq when he was a chief petty officer leading a SEAL platoon.

After a tumultuous trial, he was acquitted by a military jury in July of all charges except one minor count: bringing discredit on the armed forces, by posing for a photo with the corpse of the captive he was accused of killing.

Though Chief Gallagher could have been demoted to the lowest rank in the service as a result, the top admiral in the Navy decided in October to demote him by just one step, to petty officer first class.

Mr. Trump had already intervened in the Gallagher case, ordering him moved to less restrictive confinement to await trial, and has posted supportive messages on Twitter. The Gallagher family has repeatedly urged the president in social media posts to step in again.

“Given his service to our Nation, a promotion back to the rank and pay grade of Chief Petty Officer is justified,” the White House statement said.

The Navy had been planning additional punishment for Chief Gallagher. Timothy Parlatore, one of Chief Gallagher’s lawyers, said the chief was told to appear before SEAL commanders on Nov. 1 at Naval Base Coronado near San Diego so they could remove his Trident pin, signifying that they were officially kicking him out of the SEAL teams. Navy leaders also planned to take away the Tridents of three officers who knew of the platoon’s allegations against Chief Gallagher but did not report them.

But Chief Gallagher waited all day at the base while commanders sought approval for the action from top Navy officials and the White House, which never came, according to a Navy official briefed on the meeting. Plans to punish all four of the SEALs are now on hold, the official said.

Mr. Parlatore welcomed the president’s intervention.

“It shows leadership,” he said, because SEAL commanders had become “so blinded by their unhealthy fixation on Eddie Gallagher, and it was time for an adult in the room to stand up and say, ‘Enough.’”

The White House initially made preparations to issue more pardons on Memorial Day but held off after encountering fierce resistance from military leaders and prominent veterans. Among them was a former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Gen. Martin Dempsey, who wrote on Twitter: “Absent evidence of innocence or injustice the wholesale pardon of US servicemembers accused of war crimes signals our troops and allies that we don’t take the Law of Armed Conflict seriously. Bad message. Bad precedent. Abdication of moral responsibility. Risk to us.”

The men cleared by the president offered thanks Friday. On his Instagram account, Chief Gallagher, who a year ago had been facing the prospect of life in prison, thanked his family and thousands of supporters, and praised the president.

“I truly believe that we are blessed as a Nation to have a Commander-in-Chief that stands up for our warfighters, and cares about how they and their families are treated,” he wrote. “Our military is the best in the world, and with steadfast and supportive leadership; like we have in this president, our fighting force will only get stronger.

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I Served in the Army. Trump’s War Crimes Decisions Are Not Pro-Military.

By intervening, the president undermines the moral standing of the armed forces.

By Benjamin Haas, Mr. Haas is advocacy counsel at Human Rights First | Published Nov. 15, 2019 | New York Times | Posted November 15, 2019 |

President Donald Trump on Friday cleared three military service members of war crimes, even after being reportedly advised against doing so by Defense Secretary Mark Esper and Army Secretary Ryan McCarthy. Mr. Trump interceded on behalf of Army Maj. Mathew Golsteyn, who had been charged with murdering an Afghan man; Edward Gallagher, a Navy SEAL who was convicted in connection with posing for a photo with the corpse of a fighter in Iraq; and Army First Lt. Clint Lorance, who, after nine fellow unit members testified against him, had been convicted of murdering two civilians in Afghanistan.

Mr. Trump may believe that intervening pays respect to those who have served in uniform, that it shows he’s “pro-military.” But if this is his view, he’s wrong. In reality, Mr. Trump’s meddling undermines the military’s institutional values, risks endangering American service members, and disrespects the honorable service of the overwhelming majority of veterans.

The military strives to ensure that its members adhere to the laws of war and respect human rights. Service members are trained, for example, to avoid civilian casualties by understanding rules of engagement and following the proper steps for escalation of force. They also learn the appropriate ways to treat detainees, and interrogators are trained to employ only the approved, legal methods.

During my two deployments to Afghanistan, my intelligence work helped lead to the capture of insurgent leaders. Sharing responsibility for their capture and as a recipient of the intelligence produced by their interrogations, I had a sense of moral reassurance in the understanding that my colleagues handled and interrogated the detainees humanely — just as they had been trained.

The lessons service members learn about the laws of war are not an afterthought. Rather, they are central, emphasized time and again — from training sessions and exercises, to military ethics discussions, to actual combat deployments. The Army’s official values, after all, demand that soldiers “do what’s right, legally and morally” and “treat others with dignity and respect,” making no exceptions for civilians or even enemies.

The military requires its members to operate in accordance with the laws of war for good reason. Disregarding the laws of war — which Mr. Trump has done by intervening in these cases — jeopardizes mission accomplishment and the safety of service members;  excessive civilian casualties, for example, can stimulate further violence, turn local populations against American forces, and discourage allies from collaborating with the United States. Mr. Trump should realize that the laws of war actually serve to benefit our armed forces.

Against this backdrop, Mr. Trump’s intervention on behalf of those convicted or accused of conduct falling short of the military’s crucial legal requirements and moral expectations undermines the training in which the military rightly invests so much effort. It trivializes the values the military spends so much time fostering. He could be endangering United States service members deployed to combat zones by handing their enemies propaganda and recruitment material and by degrading support among local populations.

To be sure, war is complex, and service members accordingly face difficult moral choices under extraordinary pressure. But their preparation helps them make sound decisions in these tough situations, and the military justice system considers the factual circumstances of each case and the intent of the actor.

Mr. Trump appears to be following in the unfortunate footsteps of President Richard Nixon. In the wake of Lt. William Calley’s murder conviction in connection with the Vietnam War’s My Lai Massacre, President Richard Nixon intervened on behalf of Mr. Calley. In a response to Mr. Nixon that rings true today, Capt. Aubrey Daniel, the military prosecutor in the case, wrote:

“Your intervention has, in my opinion, damaged the military judicial system. … I would expect that the president of the United States, a man whom I believed should and would provide the moral leadership for this nation, would stand fully behind the law of this land on a moral issue which is so clear and about which there can be no compromise.”

Mr. Trump, to the detriment of the United States Armed Forces, remains fixated on condoning the aberrant conduct of those convicted or accused of flouting the laws of war. He should have left the military justice system do its job. But perhaps this is not surprising, considering that Mr. Trump himself has recently advocated a war crime — the appropriation of oil in Syria.

______

Benjamin Haas served as an intelligence officer in the Army and was deployed to Afghanistan twice.

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Trump issues pardons in war-crimes cases, despite Pentagon opposition to the move

Dan Lamothe | Published November 15, 2019 at 7:30 p.m. ET | Washington Post | Posted November 15, 2019 |

President Trump intervened in three military justice cases involving war-crimes accusations Friday, issuing at least two full pardons that will prevent the Pentagon from pursuing future charges against the individuals involved, according to two of their lawyers and a U.S. official.

The service members involved were notified by Trump over the phone late Friday afternoon, said the lawyers, who represent Army Maj. Mathew L. Golsteyn and former Special Warfare Operator Chief Edward Gallagher, a Navy SEAL. Golsteyn faced a murder trial scheduled for next year, while Gallagher recently was acquitted of murder and convicted of posing with the corpse of an Islamic State fighter in Iraq.

The third service member involved, former 1st Lt. Clint Lorance, was expected to be released from the U.S. Military Disciplinary Barracks at Fort Leavenworth in Kansas as soon as Friday night. He was convicted of second-degree murder in 2013, and sentenced to 19 years in prison for ordering his soldiers to open fire on three men in Afghanistan.

It was not immediately clear whether Lorance will receive a full pardon or have his sentence shortened through commutation.

The calls were made at the tail end of a day dominated by impeachment hearings against Trump, and after days of efforts by some senior Pentagon officials to change his mind, according to three U.S. officials. The officials, who also spoke on the condition of anonymity, said that some commanders have raised concerns that Trump’s move will undermine the military justice system.

Other U.S. officials and advocates for the service members involved have said that adopting the president’s desires in the military justice system should not be difficult. It typically has commanders overseeing the process in the military’s chain of command, with Trump serving at the top of that system as commander in chief.

In all three cases, advocates for the service members had blasted the Pentagon for its handling of their cases, detailing what they saw as questionable actions by prosecutors and investigators. Their cases have been featured on conservative media frequently in recent months, as they also prepared cases for the president behind the scenes.

Golsteyn, who went from being decorated with a Silver Star for valor in Afghanistan to facing years of investigation and a court-martial in the 2010 death of a suspected bomb maker on the same deployment, said in a statement that his family is “profoundly grateful” for Trump’s action, and that they have lived in “constant fear of this runaway prosecution” by the Army.

“Thanks to President Trump, we now have a chance to rebuild our family and lives,” Golsteyn said. "With time, I hope to regain my immense pride in having served in our military. In the meantime, we are so thankful for the support of family members, friends and supporters from around the nation, and our legal team.”

Gallagher’s lawyer, Tim Parlatore, said that his client received a phone call from the president with Vice President Pence also on the line.

“He told Eddie that he had certainly watched the case and that this was certainly the right thing to do given his years of service," Parlatore said. "The president was very familiar with the prosecutorial misconduct associated with the case. I think that certainly plays into his decision.”

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[perfectirishgifts]

The Upcoming Women In Quantum Summit III And Its Secret 70 Year-Old Legacy

New Post has been published on https://perfectirishgifts.com/the-upcoming-women-in-quantum-summit-iii-and-its-secret-70-year-old-legacy/

The Upcoming Women In Quantum Summit III And Its Secret 70 Year-Old Legacy

Dr. Margareth Arst, an early pioneer for women in science, earned her physics Ph.D. in 1947.

It is well-documented that women are underrepresented in STEM, particularly in physics and quantum, although thankfully it is to a lesser degree today than it was many years ago. In the 1930s and 1940s, some people believed that women didn’t have the proper brain structure for scientific investigation. Those opinions and other gender prejudices must have made it difficult for a little-known scientist named Margareth Arst to obtain her doctorate in physics in 1947 at the University of Vienna in Austria. According to NSF data, Dr. Arst was one of about twenty women who earned a Ph.D. in physics that year. 

Women are not only underrepresented, they are also notably under-recognized for their achievements—particularly when it comes to the Nobel prize in physics. In 2018, Donna Strickland was awarded a Nobel prize in physics. She was the first woman to receive the award in 55 years. Since 1901, only two other women have won the Nobel physics award. Marie Curie won it (with her husband) in 1903 for the study of spontaneous radiation. Maria Goeppert won it in 1963 for her shell model of the atomic nucleus.

This chart represents the disparity % between men and women across STEM disciplines.

Compared to men, women are underrepresented at all stages of their careers (bachelor’s, doctorate, postdoc, and professor) across nearly every STEM discipline.  As shown in the above chart, women are only above parity at the bachelor’s and doctorate levels for biological sciences, but below parity at more advanced levels.

Even though women are making progress, the fundamental issue causing the imbalance remains. The American Physical Society conducted a survey in 2019 that revealed physics is the most male-dominated of all STEM fields. One thing is for sure, in 1947, there were no support groups or formal mentor programs to encourage female scientists like Dr. Arst to pursue their intellectual passions. It was a matter of self-determination and personal courage if a woman wanted a Ph.D. at that time.

After she obtained her Ph.D. in 1947, Dr. Arst would have been surprised to learn that 70 years in the future, she would serve as the inspiration for her yet unborn daughter to start a support group for women working in the highly technical field of quantum information technology.  

Today, at the age of 96, Dr. Arst is still a role model for her daughter, Denise Ruffner, the founder of Women in Quantum (WIQ). Ruffner previously worked for IBM Quantum, Cambridge Quantum Computing, and she is currently employed by IonQ. ” I think my comfort of being a woman in science and working in a man’s world comes from the fact that my mother was my role model,” Ruffner said. “She’s 96, and for Christmas, I give her physics textbooks, and she loves it. She’s still a complete nerd, and it’s really cute.”

There were additional reasons Ruffner founded Women in Quantum. She felt that women needed a vehicle to highlight their contributions in quantum. She also wanted to give women access to resources that would amplify their voices in the quantum community. WIQ also offers opportunities to collaborate and have fun with fellow female quantum academics, students, entrepreneurs, investors and government representatives.

I asked Ruffner what first gave her the idea for WIQ. She told me two occurrences made her realize that a group like Women in Quantum was necessary. “I was attending an IBM event several years ago and realized I was the only woman there. IBM believes diversity is important, so afterward, it gave me a mission to actively recruit more women. Later, I also noticed that leadership photos on many company websites were only men. That bothered me, so I decided to do something about it.”

Ruffner also sought the advice of her friend, André König, founder of OneQuantum, the parent organization of WIQ, who said, “I believe that it is vital to democratize Quantum Tech and make it accessible to anyone – no matter their age, gender, ethnicity, education or otherwise.”

There are several other support groups for women scientists besides WIQ. For example, IBM sponsors a group called the Watson Women’s Network, a community of technical staff, primarily based at the T.J. Watson Research Center. The group encourages a workplace environment that advances the professional effectiveness, individual growth, recognition and advancement of all women at IBM Research. The WWN also partners with senior management, human resources, and other diversity network groups to promote mentoring, networking, diversity, knowledge-sharing and recruiting.

Details of the upcoming Women in Quantum Summit III

The Women in Quantum Summit III is a virtual event scheduled for December 14-16.  You can register for free here.

Women in Quantum is a chapter of OneQuantum, an organization focused on promoting quantum research and the quantum ecosystem and dedicated to helping quantum gain acceptance and importance in the scientific and business communities. It’s important to point out that men are also welcome to join the organization or register for Summit III.

Honeywell Inc., a multinational conglomerate and developer of quantum computing hardware, is the sponsor for the OneQuantum chapter of Women in Quantum. IonQ, also a major developer of quantum computing hardware, is the sponsor for the upcoming Women in Quantum Summit III, along with Women in Technology International (WITI) as a co-sponsor.

WIQ Summit III features high profile women speakers, including founders of prominent quantum technology companies, government representatives, investors and leading academics working in various fields of quantum information science. Summit III will end each day with a virtual cocktail hour to connect attendees with each other on a one-on-one basis for discussion and relationship building.

Ruffner said the cocktail hour allows you to meet people you wouldn’t otherwise get to know and it provides a way to expand your network. “It’s also fun because you are randomly matched with people. Your bio comes up with your picture and their bio also pops up and you talk to each other for five minutes. After that, you are sent to a queue where you are matched to someone else.”   

Summit III will also feature Anisha Musti, a 15-year-old New York City high school student. Anisha Musti is the CEO and founder of a quantum company called Q-munity.  Her company is a 501c3 nonprofit striving to connect and teach young people about quantum computing.

The Summit III keynote speakers are:

Sarah Kreikmeier, an IonQ mechanical Engineer who will discuss building quantum computers

Carolyn Goerner, CEO of Practical Paradigms, an expert on the psychological feeling of inadequacy called the Imposter Syndrome

Carolyn Chin-Parry, named Asian IT Woman of the Year and a PwC Digital Innovation Leader

Denise Ruffner provides more information about the upcoming Women in Quantum Summit III in a discussion with Patrick Moorhead and me on the Moor Insights & Strategy YouTube Channel—you can find the link here if interested.

Disclosure: My firm, Moor Insights & Strategy, like all research and analyst firms, provides or has provided research, analysis, advising, and/or consulting to many high-tech companies in the industry, including IBM and Honeywell. I do not hold any equity positions with any companies cited in this column.

From Cloud in Perfectirishgifts

[stickthisinyourearpodcast]

The Afghan Whigs. September 28, 2017. Cincinnati, Ohio. 

Review by Rich Richmond 

A really great rock and roll show is best experienced among friends. Last night about 1000 friends came together in Corryville and were treated to just that, a really great rock n roll show. The Afghan Whigs were back in town and were welcomed home in a big way. “The Congregation” as they’re informally known, are nowhere more reverent than in the Whigs hometown of Cincinnati. The faithful worship at the altar of Dulli and breathe in every word, every riff, every moment. This was the homecoming game, bonfire, and dance all at once.

There is no common fan, I’ve never met a casual Afghan Whigs fan. Of course, this is no common band.

Born in the ashes of the post-punk, pre-grunge era, The Afghan Whigs don’t have hits. Their songs don’t have regular verse-chorus, verse-chorus structure. Their albums are mini noir movies, not concept albums necessarily, but concepts (love, sex, regret) strung together singularly to tell a shared story. And last night they shared their story with us. Not willing or able to rely on hits or rest on their laurels, The Afghan Whigs played a show full of songs both new and old. And the congregation devoured it. This is a band of artists. Committed to the music, the lyrics, the passion. They make new art. This tour is a tour supporting their new album so that’s from which most of the songs came from. There is no beer song or pee break. There is the music.

The show opened with a new song, “Birdland” from their latest record, In Spades. Dulli performed the song, alone, and a cappella, striding on stage like a conquering hero returning to claim his glory. The fans could feel the opening song in their bones. “It's going to be “Birdland” I commented. Several nodded in knowing approval.  The band remained focused on the new album most of the night. “Arabian Heights”, “Toy Automatic”, “Into the Floor” were all performed. And unlike bands who present new songs from a new album as a warning, a permission slip to hit the head, Dulli and gang approached them with the same ferocity as they did their classics. It's rare that he even bothers to introduce a song, other than via the opening chords. The exceptions being an extended (and completely unnecessary) and very fun introduction to the original version of Going to Town, complete with an (also unnecessary) invitation to sing along; we did, and a heartfelt dedication of “Can Rova” from Do to the Beast to late guitarist Dave Rosser who lost his battle to cancer earlier this year. It was the first time I wept, but not the last. Har Mar Superstar, the amazingly surprising opening act, joined the band on stage to sing the lead single from this album, Demon in Profile. It was a highlight. Fortunatly, HMS had put a shirt back on by this time...

“Can Rova” was not the only time the band visited their previous album Do to the Beast. “Matamoros” was an early set crowd pleaser and the albums thunderous opener “Parked Outside” served as the beginning of the epic closing encore. Again showing their dedication to making and embracing new music. 

Of course, it was the classic songs that really brought out the beast. “My Enemy”. “Debonair”. “Somethin’ Hot”. “Summer’s Kiss”. “Faded”, but we’ll get to that. The classic songs exploded from the stage every time. Dulli wasted no breath on introducing them, he saved that for screaming these songs for the thousandth time with the same passion and energy as the first time he probably sang them. And the congregation replied. Loudly. To every word, verse, nuance. Even the sniffles. “My Enemy” had the crowd screaming, “Something’ Hot” had them jumping up and down and dancing wildly, as much as you could on the packed floor and “Summer’s Kiss” had every single person remembering their youth, their first Whigs show, their first lingering summertime kiss, their first heartbreak. It was a collective experience. It always is.

The emotional tribute to late guitarist Dave Rosser before “Can Rova” added additional emotional heft to the tune. But emotional heft is what Dulli is all about. His lyrics are deep, dark, personal. Very personal. A sharp wit and a curt tongue lead the stage banter. (it wouldn’t be an Afghan Whigs show without a lecture from Dulli on flash photography) he has fun, the band has fun, clearly demonstrated by bassist John Curley’s miles of smiles and epic dance moves. But The Afghan Whigs take the art seriously. This is a performance. An event. A moment in time. To them, there is no difference between an album, a painting, a novel or a rock and roll performance. The art is what matters. Taking in the moment is important. While he lectures us on our cameras (few were even out for any length of time- a refreshing change) he also passionately pleads with us to be in the moment with the band “This is happening right now, this is happening for the first time, the last time, the only time this evening,” Greg said reminding us of the immediacy of the performance, the power of the moment.

Greg makes real connections with the fans emotionally recognizing Cincinnati as their hometown, welcoming his mom to the show along with the Curley family. He also recognized Curly’s god-like status among local music circles calling him eminence at one point.

The show weaved in and out of new and old but never felt dated, stagnant, or cold. At times I was transported back to my youth, a time when Corryville was a dimmer, darker place dotted with rock shops, head shops, record stores and rock and roll laundrymats instead of clean streets, condos, and chain restaurants. It felt modern and fresh, even the Imagine Dragons like the moment when Dulli brought a singular drum out to bang for a song felt appropriate. Even the covers sounded fresh and awesome. The Whigs have a talent and mastery of turning others people songs into their own. Tonight The Beatles Dear prudence and Bonnie Raitt’s I Can’t Make You Love Me seemed as familiar to the fans as original Whigs songs rather than classic covers.

There’s not much to say about Bogarts as a hall. It’s clean now, but the floors are still sticky and the sound blows. There’s no pitch to the floor so where you stand is what you see. Usually the back of some dude’s head. But the mix was good. Curley’s bass resonated through your chest. Patrick Keeler’s (part Dave Grohl, part Taylor Hawkins, part Stewart Copeland) drums echoed through the room. The highlight, of course, is Greg’s voice. Flavored by years of smoke, bourbon and screaming, it was in fine form tonight. A welcoming blanket of sound screeching poetry about regret, loss, love, sex and even hope.

The show ended with an encore. The congregation learned their lesson from the last time The Whigs played Bogarts and Dulli famously denied us this celebrated return to stage deeming the audience not “into it” enough and thus not worthy. The crowd stomped their feet, clapped in unison and shouted song titles at the top of their lungs until the band returned to the stage. Our reward for our loyalty. After conferring with Curly, Dulli launched into “Parked Outside”, the HEAVY opening track from 2015’s Do to the Beast. I’m sure Bogart’s has seen some heavy shows, but probably never had a heavier moment than this song. Its crunchy guitar and thunderous drums ripping through the house. “Summer’s Kiss” was next, an exhilarating moment where everyone was 17 again. And, after an incredibly reverent and amazing run through of the first verse and chorus of Bonnie Raitt’s “I Can’t Make You Love Me”, “Faded”. Many bands have their closing song. The song that puts the exclamation point on the evening and let you know it's ok to go home. You know a Guns N Roses show is over for example when All tosses his microphone deep into the crowd near the end of “Paradise City” for example. The Whigs have “Faded”, the emotional 8 plus minute closer from many fan’s favorite album Black Love. It’s the perfect album closer and translates to the perfect show closer. Slow, brooding, emotional, there's not much that can be said about this song. More tears. From me and from my friends new and old around me as we shouted the song to the roof of Bogart’s and beyond letting Dulli know we hear him, we understand him and we appreciate this art he has made.

I can appreciate that this band is something of an acquired taste, but once you taste it there is nothing sweeter. Thanks gentlemen for a truly great moment.

[jeremystrele]

Clare Bowditch On Overcoming Self-Doubt + Being Your Own Kind Of Girl

Clare Bowditch On Overcoming Self-Doubt + Being Your Own Kind Of Girl

Family

Ashe Davenport

Clare and her husband Marty at home with her twin sons Oscar and Elijah (12) and daughter Asha (16). Flowers by Babylon Flowers. Plants by Hello Botanical. Photo – Sarah Collins of Work + Co.

Clare at home in Melbourne’s inner north. Photo – Sarah Collins of Work + Co.

Clare with her husband Marty, who she played in bands with for years before admitting they loved each other. Photo – Sarah Collins of Work + Co.

Photo – Sarah Collins of Work + Co.

Twins Oscar and Elijah. Photo – Sarah Collins of Work + Co.

Clare with her eldest child Asha. Photo – Sarah Collins of Work + Co.

Clare with Elijah and Oscar. Photo – Sarah Collins of Work + Co.

Clare recently released her poignant memoir, Your Own Kind Of Girl. Flowers by Babylon Flowers. Plants by Hello Botanical. Photo – Sarah Collins of Work + Co.

In the kitchen with the fam! Photo – Sarah Collins of Work + Co.

Clare Bowditch raised her family in an urban community in Thornbury, in a house with no back fence and a mulberry tree in the yard. She creates without fences too, whether it’s music, her memoir or her company Big Hearted Business. She doesn’t like to compartmentalise. Her feelings are a package deal. 

Clare’s new book, Your Own Kind of Girl is a special gift about overcoming self-doubt and finding your creative voice, but at the book launch she only wanted to say thanks. She presented flowers to all the people who helped her, and at one point asked an entire row of extended family to stand in the audience so they could be applauded too.

We met for lunch at North Island in North Fitzroy. She wore an orange printed dress, cinnamon coloured sunglasses and bright earrings that fluttered either side of her face. Clare Bowditch is fresh flowers personified, and orders a ‘stiff piccolo,’ because she’s no shrinking violet.

Virginia Woolf said you need a fierce attachment to an idea in order to see it through. What was yours to your book? What kept you coming back to it?

When I was 21, I promised myself I’d one day write it, which was 21 years ago now. It took that long. I needed to wait and see if my life worked out or not. Back then I couldn’t have imagined it would. I was dealing with what I now know was anxiety in turbo drive. I was in the throws of a nervous breakdown, but I found some things that helped and I was able to recover. Through art, creativity and techniques to manage my anxiety, I was able to imagine a future beyond my immediate circumstances. I promised at some stage I’d pass the baton. If I look at the past two decades of work, I think that’s what I’ve been trying to do. To keep generating that feeling. I imagined one day I’d be a grown up with kids and a dog and someone to love, where I’d make music and then write a book. It’s curious to me and quite wonderful that it’s indeed what’s happened.

Would you say you manifested it?

I took the action steps, I guess. I had a really clear dream as a kid of what I wanted to do. I forgot what it was, as we often do in life. Things get in the way, our self-doubt gets in the way, but then I learned some ways to get through it.  

What do you find works best for you in overcoming your self-doubt? I know you named your anxiety Frank, which is great.

Frank is an umbrella title for a feeling of foreboding. I came up with it during the very early recovery stage of my breakdown, when I didn’t really know how to separate my emotions. Now I know it was just anxiety that needed training. Reading Jack Kornfield helped a lot, as did a really practical little book by Dr Claire Weekes called Peace from Nervous Suffering. She was a stalwart of the Australian post-war veteran field. She helped people deal with anxiety before it really had a name. Slowly, slowly I was able to work past it, but it took until I was 27 to have the guts to put my own songs in the world. I’d been building that courage from age 21. I still have self-doubt, but these days it can motivate me. It tells me I’m onto something. My songs have always sat in me like pets. I can’t rush them. They come when they’re ready and my job is to make room for them. So I just keep showing up with my pen and paper.

Who did you write your book for?

It’s dedicated to Rowena, my sister who I lost when I was young, Doctor Clare Weekes and my dear friend John Patrick Hedigan, who was the first person I shared my songs with at 22. We started a band together and he introduced me to this cool drummer called Marty (now my husband). John fell in love with my best mate and they went on to have kids too. He passed away earlier this year, so his story is in there too.

It’s a love story and it’s dedicated to the legacies of their grand lives, but I think it’s for anyone who is still suffering from self-doubt and needs something positive to read. The first half isn’t an easy read, but it’s a true read, and I really believe if we tell the truth it helps people feel less alone. It’s a hopeful story. 

It sounds like emotionally expensive behaviour, for which we’re eternally grateful. You give so much of yourself in your music too. How do you replenish the tank?

I think it’s a self-generating engine, the giving and getting, so that’s fulfilling in itself. I’m also restored by the same things that helped me recover when I was 21, baking, gardening, walking, reading, crushing flowers in my hand and smelling them, hanging out with my kids. Simple small things, like sitting with my cup of tea and reading my Design Files!

How do you and Marty share the parenting load?

We were in a band together for four years before we finally admitted we were in love with each other, then we became parents soon after that. So the working relationship was already pretty clear, and we had a firm idea of how we wanted to parent. It was crazy, foolhardy behaviour, but it worked for us. Early on I took on the role as primary carer due to biological reasons, I was a breastfeeding mum, but both of us have always been all hands on deck. I feel very fortunate that we get along well. We have to make an effort these days, but he’s my biggest champion, really, just like I am for him. 

Your Own Kind of Girl is also the name of a pretty special song of yours about body acceptance at any size. What does it mean to you?

I wrote that one for my audience, in response to some beautiful letters I received. I often still get choked up when I play it. I wanted to encourage people to count themselves in. I had to tell a painful story of my own to do that, but I truly believe our peace and strength comes from accepting ourselves for who we are. Our relationship with our bodies is complex and glorious. It’s a big journey. I’m happy to have a song like that out there. Every time I play it, it reminds me that my instinct was right. We’re more than our size. I didn’t know it for a long time.

The world has already started telling my daughters what they should look like. I’ve got a three year old who is conscious of the size of her belly because someone at daycare told her it’s because she eats too much.

It was three for me too. That’s when I first got the message. Now you get to say to her what my mother said to me: ’You’re not too big, you’re a peach and you’re gorgeous.’

Here’s the reality, our body size is a complex interplay between genetics and the way we store our food, and the way we eat in response to things and the size of our forefathers. We haven’t really been able to have a great conversation around that. But we have frameworks like Health at Every Size and great nutritionists like Ellyn Satter, who has some really useful thinking around food. Have a read of her in the context of your daughter, because your baby girl has done nothing wrong.

I will. Thank you. Is fostering a positive body image something you do consciously in your household?

My kids have never had to have a conversation around it for themselves. Curiously it’s not an issue. I’ve always been really open with them about my history, and what the temptations were likely to be for them based on the images around us and the stories we’re told. They understand not to comment on a person’s size, just as we don’t comment on their gender, colour, sexuality and so on. They get that every human has a right to be here in this world and be who they are. You do, I do, they do. They also understand the complexity of the grief I was brought up in and how that factored in. 

Have you found writing your book to be a healing experience?

One of the good things about navigating sadness early on in life is that it gave me the sense that I was never going to be ‘fixed.’ There’s functional and non-functional, and things become non-functional when we have no way to speak the truth about our feelings. I used to think there was some place I’d get to in the future where everything would be perfect. Then I realised there wasn’t, and that’s not such a bad thing.

Carey Grant described his journey to healing as a process of pulling away barnacles and discovering more barnacles. Do you relate to that?

Yes, but there’s gold in there too. That’s why we keep searching. Our barnacles are our circumstances, and we have no say over them, none, just like we can’t choose the weather. Just like I can’t choose my body size or birth. But we have this opportunity to choose the next thought.

Your Own Kind of Girl is about the point in my life I decided to tell myself a different story. If I’d continued to tell myself that there was no hope for me, then that would have perhaps been what was lived out. But I told myself I had a chance at a more hopeful story, and I decided to believe it.

The whole family together at home. Photo – Sarah Collins of Work + Co.

FAMILY FAVOURITES

Rainy day activity

We play a Dutch game called the sjoelbak.

Sunday morning breakfast

My husband is a wonderful cook. Eggs with herbs is his go-to with buttered toast. And a bloody good cup of tea.

Date night?

One of the secrets to working with your partner and still having a love life is going on regular Wednesday night date nights. We usually just find a hole in the wall and toast to the week that’s been.

Go-to album?

Donny Hathaway Live.

Weekend getaway?

We are lucky to have good friends in the town of Castlemaine, it’s only an hour and a half from Melbourne, so it’s the perfect quick getaway. It’s also got a wonderful arts community so sometimes we catch a show at the local theatre.

Ultimate ‘me time’ experience? 

Lying in bed with a cuppa and a wonderful book with golden hour light streaming through the window.

Clare’s first book, Your Own Kind Of Girl, is available now from all good bookstores!

[celtfather]

Respect Like A Celt #453

Give respect like a Celt today on the Irish & Celtic Music Podcast. Subscribe for 34 Celtic MP3s for free!

Lissa Schneckenburger, Stringer's Ridge, Hanz Araki, Whalebone, Wolf Loescher, Norah Rendell, Olta, Innisfall, Jim McKenna, Ginger Ackley, Battlelegs, Barleyjuice, Xavier Boderiou, Ockham's Razor, Eileen Ivers

I hope you enjoyed this week's show. If you did, please share the show with ONE friend.

The Irish & Celtic Music Podcast is here to build our community and help the incredible artists who so generously share their music with you. If you hear music you love, buy the albums, shirts, and songbooks, see their shows, and drop them an email to let them know you heard them on the Irish and Celtic Music Podcast.

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THIS WEEK IN CELTIC MUSIC

0:05 - "Lamplighter's Hornpipe / Suffer the Child" by Lissa Schneckenburger from Dance

2:48 - WELCOME

4:08 - "The Cat Rambles / The Star Above the Garter / The Pipe on the Hob" by Stringer's Ridge from Handmade

8:31 - "A Kiss in the Morning Early" by Hanz Araki from Wind and Rain

12:17 - "Chalk Heart" by Whalebone from Mirabilia

16:05 - "Tramps and Hawkers from Wolf Loescher from Sheep's Clothing

21:01 - CELTIC FEEDBACK

24:06 - "Forty Fishermen" by Norah Rendell from Spinning Yarns

28:42 - "Old Maid in a Garrett / Glen Cottage / New Market Polka 3" by Olta from Step It Out

33:32 - "Song of Innisfall" by Innisfall from Innisfall

37:17 - "The Bright Lady" by Jim McKenna from Jim McKenna Uileann Pipes

41:17 - "Manannan Mac Lir" by Ginger Ackley from Elf King's Horn

44:06 - CELTIC PODCAST NEWS

47:15 - "Shoot 'Em Up, Shoot 'Em Down" by Battlelegs from Save the Humans

49:58 - "High on the Highland Life" by Barleyjuice from The Old Speakeasy

54:24 - "Gavotte Pourlet" by Xavier Boderiou from Liamm

58:10 - "The Foggy Dew / Seven Nation Army" by Ockham's Razor from Songs from Potter's Field

1:05:24 - CLOSING

1:07:46 - "Zero G (and I feel fine)" by Eileen Ivers from Scatter the Light

The Irish & Celtic Music Podcast was edited by Mitchell Petersen with Graphics by Miranda Nelson Designs. The show was produced by Marc Gunn, The Celtfather. To subscribe, go to Apple Podcasts or to our website where you can become a Patron of the Podcast for as little as $1 per episode. Promote Celtic culture through music at http://celticmusicpodcast.com/.

WELCOME TO CELTIC MUSIC * Helping you celebrate Celtic culture through music. My name is Marc Gunn. I am a Celtic musician and podcaster. This show is dedicated to the indie Celtic musicians. Please support these artists. Share the show with your friends. And find more episodes at celticmusicpodcast.com. You can also support this podcast on Patreon.

I hope you’re doing amazing despite the Coronavirus and the social distancing that’s taken over all of our lives. I know it sucks, but I hope you are safe and healthy.

On the bright side, there were a LOT of opportunities to hear Celtic music over the past couple o’weeks despite St Patrick’s Day being effectively closed. And I keep hearing about more musicians going live. So make sure you check the news of your favorite bands. See who’s playing and watch one of their shows.

And if you’re able, help them out. Buy some music or merch, send them a tip. Tell them thanks for all of the music they create.

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As a patron, you get to hear episodes before regular listeners. When we hit a milestone, you get an extra-long episode. You can pledge a dollar or more per episode and cap how much you want to spend each month over on Patreon.

A super special thanks to our newest patrons from last month: Steven R, Annie R., Linda P, Scott F, Doug K, Beth H, JOSEPH O, KIrsten N

You can become a generous Patron of the Podcast on Patreon at SongHenge.com.

Oh! And we got a bunch of new patrons this month. We hit the $700 milestone on Patreon. That means I’m gonna plan a 2-hour special of instrumental Celtic music with minimal talk and a ton of amazing music.

CELTIC PODCAST NEWS

We’re getting closer to 1000 ratings on Apple Podcasts. Yeah. I said ratings. Looks like I messed up when I said reviews. But that’s still brilliant. Just 17 left. Go give your review.

A quick additional note about St Patrick’s Day. I know it sucked that it was effectively shut down. I think we need to make Halfway to St Patrick’s Day as big St Paddy’s Day should’ve been this year. So go talk to your local pub or Celtic organizations. We have just over 5 months to plan. Let’s make it happen on September 17th!

Oh! And I want send out a huge thanks to Lady Susan of Thunder on the Plains. She organized an impromptu St Patrick’s Day virtual festival on Facebook and Instagram. Some of these concerts are still available to watch online.

Submit music to the podcast at 4celts.com.

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Did you celebrate St Patrick’s Day out and about this year? I would LOVE to see your pictures from the day. How did you celebrate it? Email us.

Suzanne Marr emailed on Patreon: "Thank you for providing a far better soundtrack to my home than the news does!"

Sarah Fletcher posted on our website: “Hi Mark, I just signed up on your Patreon. I've been listening for a long time and decided it was time to pay back for all of that great music. I discovered the Gothard Sisters, who are from my town, right here on your podcast. Well, I really decided to support your podcast because you have expressed on many occasions your support for diversity in Celtic music and you have highlighted many female and LGBT artists. This touched me especially as many in these underrepresented groups struggle to find a voice. Thank you and keep up the great work. A devoted listener.”

Dwayne Butcher commented on Patreon: “It is so unfortunate people are saying SJW as a slur. Keep up the great work! Will up my per episode contribution today.”

Sterling SS emailed: “I’m dancing and listening to my freedom that my ancestors got to be in the USA”

Jason S. emailed a photo: “G'day Marc, First time writer, long time listener. Here's a picture of my quiet celebrations on St. Patrick's Day in Australia. (Having a nice black brew + watching some GAA) ??

Hope you + your listeners had a good day as well. Love the podcast, keep up the good work!”

Sean emailed; “Marc, Our band McSpillin hosted a FB live concert on St Patrick’s Day (aka McSpillin’s St Patrick Stay concert). Like many, all our gigs were canceled. The FB live concert was well received.”

Check out this episode!

[kansascityhappenings]

Military veterans, 2 friends, bar workers killed in shooting

Missing Attachment Missing Attachment Missing Attachment Missing Attachment Missing Attachment Missing Attachment Missing Attachment Missing Attachment Missing Attachment Missing Attachment Missing Attachment

THOUSAND OAKS, Calif. — One was a veteran police officer who didn’t hesitate to run toward danger. Another had survived the deadliest mass shooting in modern U.S. history. Others include two friends who loved off-roading, a Marine veteran who dedicated his life to service and a recent college graduate who worked with children with special needs.

They were among a dozen people killed in a shooting at a country music bar in suburban Los Angeles on Wednesday night. Authorities believe the gunman, Ian David Long, ultimately killed himself.

___

RON HELUS: ‘COP’S COP’

Ventura County sheriff’s Sgt. Ron Helus was talking to his wife when calls started coming in about a shooting at the Borderline Bar and Grill.

“Hey, I got to go handle a call. I love you. I’ll talk to you later,” he told her, according to Sheriff Geoff Dean.

It was the last time she would talk to her husband.

Helus rushed toward the shooting and immediately exchanged fire with the gunman, Dean said. Helus was hit multiple times.

Sgt. Eric Buschow, who said Helus was a friend, described him as a “cop’s cop.”

“The fact that he was the first in the door doesn’t surprise me at all,” he said. “He’s just one of those guys that wouldn’t hesitate in a situation.”

Helus took up fly fishing a few years ago and loved pursuing the hobby in the Sierra Nevada mountains with his grown son, Buschow said.

“He was just a great guy, a gentle soul,” Buschow said. “Patient. Calm no matter what. When you call 911, he’s one of the guys you want showing up.”

Helus was on the SWAT team for much of his career and worked in narcotics and investigations, he said.

“If you were a victim of a crime, you want him investigating the case,” Buschow said. “He would go to the ends of the Earth to find a suspect.”

Dean choked back tears talking about Helus and called him a hero.

“He went in there to save people and paid the ultimate price,” he said.

___

CODY COFFMAN: ‘THE BIG BROTHER THAT MY KIDS NEED’

Cody Coffman, who had just turned 22, was talking with Army recruiters and preparing to fulfill his dream of serving his country, father Jason Coffman said, weeping.

Cody adored his siblings — three brothers between ages 6 and 9 — and he couldn’t wait for the birth of a sister, due on Nov. 29, his father said.

“Cody was the big brother that my kids need,” he said. “He was so excited to have his first sister and now she’ll never know …”

He trailed off, sobbing, then said, “Oh, Cody, I love you, son.”

Jason Coffman said his son was passionate about baseball, serving as an umpire for a little league, and they fished together.

“That poor boy would come with me whether he liked it or not,” he said. “That’s the kind of stuff I am truly going to miss.”

Jason Coffman said he last spoke to his son Wednesday night before Cody headed to the bar.

“The first thing I said was, ‘Please don’t drink and drive,’” he said. “The last thing I said was, ‘Son, I love you.’”

___

JUSTIN MEEK: ‘FULL OF LIGHT AND HAPPINESS’

Newly graduated from California Lutheran University, Justin Meek performed as a singer and worked at the Borderline.

Meek, 23, also worked for Channel Island Social Services as a respite caregiver, supporting families with children with special needs, mostly developmental disabilities, chief executive Sharon Francis said.

“Parents just adored him. He was able to bond with their kids,” she said. “He was just an all-around guy.”

Danielle Gallo, who also works at the family-run organization, said he was dedicated to the kids he worked with.

“You could tell he really had a heart for what he did,” she said, sobbing.

Meek also toured professionally as an a cappella singer, said family friend Patrick Ellis, who called Meek a talented musician, singer and athlete and a “fantastic human being.”

“He was a hero every day of his life,” Ellis said. “It was just always positive energy. … Anything he could do for you, he was just there.”

Meek worked at the bar with his sister and fellow Cal Lutheran student, Victoria Rose Meek, who survived, Ellis said.

Meek played water polo for Cal Lutheran. He also lent his full, velvety voice to the school choir, where “every time he sang, you could just feel it in your soul,” recalled choir member Rachel Counihan, 20.

“He cared so much about his craft and just cared so much about other people,” she said. “He was just full of light and happiness.”

Scott Roberts, 20, a junior at the school and friend of Victoria Rose Meek’s, recalled Meek being “just the nicest dude.”

___

ALAINA HOUSLEY: ‘AN INCREDIBLE YOUNG WOMAN’

Alaina Housley was just 18, a promising student at Pepperdine University with plans to study law, her family said.

Adam Housley, a former Fox News correspondent, and Tamera Mowry-Housley, an actress known for the 1990s TV series “Sister Sister,” said their niece was killed at the bar where she had gone line dancing with friends.

“Alaina was an incredible young woman with so much life ahead of her, and we are devastated that her life was cut short in this manner,” the couple said in a statement.

Alaina was bright, popular and well-loved, a student who had a 4.5 grade-point average since junior high school and earned college scholarships, said her grandfather, Art Housley.

She played soccer and tennis all through high school, studied piano and violin, and sang, he said.

“She’s a really good kid,” he said, fighting tears. “Everybody loves her.”

___

NOEL SPARKS: ‘ALL-AROUND GOOD GIRL’

Noel Sparks, a 21-year-old college student, loved going to the Borderline Bar and Grill, so friends and family were not surprised when she posted a photo of herself dancing there Wednesday night.

Her aunt Patricia Sparks of Morristown, Tennessee, told The Associated Press that the family was “in shock.”

She described her niece as an “all-around good girl. She was the kind of girl that if you had friends, you’d want them to marry her.”

Sparks, who was majoring in art at nearby Moorpark College, often went to Borderline with friends and her mom, going there for Halloween and her 21st birthday in August.

When friend Jackie Jones heard about the shooting, she jumped into her car and headed to the bar, determined to find Sparks.

“She would do that for me,” Jones said.

The two met through church two years ago and became fast friends. Sparks worked part time at Calvary Community Church in Westlake Village, helping with children’s programs, the Rev. Shawn Thornton said.

“She loved kids. We had a lot of parents show up today to say, ‘She made my child feel important and that they mattered,” Thornton said.

___

SEAN ADLER: ‘A VERY, VERY BIG PERSONALITY’

Sean Adler, 48, was a security guard at Borderline who would stay late to ensure people could get home safely, said Debbie Allen, a longtime friend.

The married father of two boys died doing what he was passionate about — protecting people, Allen said.

“He was a very, very big personality and had a very, very gorgeous smile,” she said, adding that he had once considered becoming a police officer.

His other passion, she said, was coffee. Adler recently opened his own coffee shop, Rivalry Roasters, in Simi Valley, said Phil Englander, another longtime friend.

“He was just the most passionate person about coffee you would ever want to meet,” Englander said.

Adler joked about being a “coffee dealer” and spoke energetically, using his hands.

“He always had that energetic personality,” he said. “He’s just such a warm and friendly and passionate person about everything in his life.”

Englander said he stopped by the coffee shop Wednesday to visit Adler.

“We talked about family, and we reminisced about an old friend of ours we haven’t seen in years,” he said.

___

TELEMACHUS ORFANOS: VEGAS SURVIVOR KILLED

Telemachus Orfanos, 27, lived through the mass shooting in Las Vegas last year only to die inside Borderline, less than 10 minutes from his home, according to his mother.

“Here are my words: I want gun control,” Susan Schmidt-Orfanos said, her voice shaking with grief and rage. “I don’t want prayers. I don’t want thoughts.”

She said she wants Congress to “pass gun control so no one else has a child that doesn’t come home.”

Orfanos was a U.S. Navy veteran and Eagle Scout with a thick beard, an easy smile and a gladiator helmet tattoo. His friends called him “Tel.”

One of them, Aliza Thomas, said she knew Orfanos since high school and called him one of the nicest men she’s ever known.

“He was the most likely person to throw himself in front of that gun,” Thomas said. “He would have thrown himself on top of someone else, 100 percent.”

She said it’s especially tragic that Orfanos survived Vegas only to die in another mass shooting.

“He survived Vegas, where a lot more people died than this. It’s just unreal,” Thomas said. “It’s not fair.”

___

DANIEL MANRIQUE: ‘A SAINT’

Daniel Manrique, 33, dedicated his life to service — as a hospital volunteer, U.S. Marine and manager of an organization that helps veterans adjust after leaving the military.

He was a radio operator with the 2nd Combat Engineer Battalion, 2nd Marine Division based at Camp Lejeune, North Carolina, and he deployed to Afghanistan in 2007 with the 26th Marine Expeditionary Unit, the Orange County Register reported.

After the military, Manrique began volunteering with Team Red White and Blue, an organization that works to help veterans avoid isolation by connecting them to their community. He was named a regional program manager last month.

“The best way I can describe him is as a saint. He truly believed in service,” friend and business partner Tim O’Brien told the newspaper. “Dan was the guy you could rely on if you ran out of gas in the middle of the night. He would help you out if something bad happened. He was there, dedicated, loyal.”

The two high school friends were preparing to open a veteran-oriented brewery called “O’brique” — a combination of their last names.

Manrique also volunteered at a hospital helping the homeless and at a local church.

“Dan’s life was dedicated to serving others, during his military career and beyond,” Team Red White and Blue executive director John Pinter said on the organization’s website. “We offer our deepest condolences to the Manrique family.”

___

BLAKE DINGMAN: ‘HIS LAUGHTER AND SMILE WERE SO SPECIAL’

Blake Dingman was passionate about working on cars and motorcycles, challenging himself to make repairs on anything mechanical even if he wasn’t exactly sure how to do it, mother Lorrie Dingman said. The 21-year-old always had a smile on his face and grease under his fingernails, she said.

Blake was working in the electrical field and was excited about getting a new job, his mother said.

His large group of friends went off-roading in the desert and mountains, with Blake and his friend Jake Dunham, who also was killed at the Borderline, “always in the center of the fun.”

“Blake had a zest and joy for living life to the fullest,” Lorrie Dingman said in an email. “No gathering was complete without Blake. His laughter and smile were so special and whenever you talked to him, he was genuinely interested in you.”

She said he was confident, talented, caring and had a huge heart.

On Instagram, brother Aidan Dingman wrote that “my amazing brother was taken down by the shooter” and that his life has been forever changed.

“Words cannot describe the pain I am feeling,” he wrote, adding: “Blake I love you so much and I miss you more than you can imagine.”

___

JAKE DUNHAM: GUTSY OFF-ROADER

Jake Dunham, 21, was known for driving his truck hard. He was a regular at rides in the desert and at group bonfires made from igniting vehicles and old dirt bikes, according to a friend.

“He always tried to convince people to (let him) drive their car. Everyone knew it was a bad idea, but sometimes they’d do it,” Michael Moses told the Los Angeles Times, laughing.

Dunham was at the bar with his friend and fellow off-roader, Dingman, who also was killed.

Aliza Thomas told The Associated Press that Dunham and Dingman were her friends and grew up in a tight-knit group of young men with her younger brother Emmet.

“They were the nicest, most respectful, selfless men I’ve ever met,” she said.

Thomas, a single mom, cried as she recalled how Dingham and Dunham would go out of their way to make her son feel like one of the boys, “make him feel special.”

Dunham’s sister, Alexis Dunham, asked on her Facebook page for privacy to let the family grieve, saying “these last days have completely shattered us.”

___

KRISTINA MORISETTE: ENERGETIC AND THOUGHTFUL

Kristina Morisette worked at the front desk of Borderline and had just bought her first car — a 2017 Jeep Renegade — with the money she had saved, her father said.

Michael Morisette told the Los Angeles Times that his energetic and talkative 20-year-old daughter had just returned from a trip to Austin, Texas, and he hugged her, relieved she was back home safe in Simi Valley.

Kristina gave her mother a coin purse she bought for her on the trip before heading to work Wednesday.

“We’d rather just curl up in a ball and turn off the lights, but there are other people out there that are hurting, too,” Michael Morisette told the newspaper as he held his wife’s hand. “We could either retreat and draw our curtains, or we could talk about the beauty of the things that were.”

He said Kristina, the youngest of three children, was a thoughtful friend who always helped others. She enjoyed hiking and drawing and was considering applying for an animal training program in Austin.

“We didn’t want her life to end, but we don’t want her memories now to end, either,” mother Martha Morisette told the newspaper. “We’ll probably always have a hard time dealing with it.”

___

MARKY MEZA JR.: ‘LOVING AND WONDERFUL YOUNG MAN’

Marky Meza Jr., who was less than two weeks from his 21st birthday, was working as a busboy and food runner at the bar when he was killed.

“Marky was a loving and wonderful young man who was full of life and ambition,” the Meza family said in a statement provided to Santa Barbara TV station KEYT. “His family is devastated by his loss.”

Meza grew up in the Santa Barbara area and had worked in the service industry since he was a teen.

He was one of the few teenagers who got hired at Sandpiper Lodge in Santa Barbara, manager Shawn Boteju said. Meza worked full time at the Sandpiper in housekeeping and would come to work on a hoverboard.

“He was extremely nice,” Boteju told The Associated Press. “He obviously worked well with the rest of the staff.”

from FOX 4 Kansas City WDAF-TV | News, Weather, Sports https://fox4kc.com/2018/11/10/military-veterans-2-friends-bar-workers-killed-in-shooting/

from Kansas City Happenings https://kansascityhappenings.wordpress.com/2018/11/10/military-veterans-2-friends-bar-workers-killed-in-shooting/

[melindarowens]

Moore buried under TV ad barrage

With Zach Montellaro, Elena Schneider

The following newsletter is an abridged version of Campaign Pro’s Morning Score. For an earlier morning read on exponentially more races — and for a more comprehensive aggregation of the day’s most important campaign news — sign up for Campaign Pro today. (http://www.politicopro.com/proinfo)

Story Continued Below

MOORE PROBLEMS — “Moore buried under TV ad barrage,” by POLITICO’s Scott Bland and Daniel Strauss: “Doug Jones and Roy Moore both released new television ads on Monday. But many Alabama voters will see only one of them. That’s because of the massive disparity in TV ad spending between the two candidates in the Alabama special election to a Senate seat, where Jones, the Democratic candidate, is outspending Moore roughly 7-to-1. … Fueled by millions of online dollars pouring in to defeat Moore, Jones’ campaign has flooded the airwaves with over $5.6 million of TV ads overall in the general election campaign. Moore has answered with about $800,000 in ad spending, according to Advertising Analytics.”

“Jones’ campaign built a big financial advantage even before women came forward accusing Moore of sexual misconduct in early November. … A new campaign finance report from ActBlue, the widely used Democratic digital fundraising platform, shows Jones raised nearly $2.9 million online in October alone. But the firestorm that ensued after numerous allegations surfaced against Moore galvanized even more financial support for Jones, giving him the resources to relentlessly pound Moore on-air as a child predator.” Full story here.

— Pro-Moore super PAC backed by Uihlein: A pop-up super PAC that has spent six figures supporting Moore in recent months received the majority of its funds from Wisconsin-based conservative megadonor Richard Uihlein, according to a new FEC filing. The PAC, called Proven Conservative PAC, has spent $147,649 since being formed in August and received $100,000 from Uihlein. One of Uihlein’s donations came on Nov. 22, more than a week after the first allegations of sexual misconduct against Moore surfaced, according to the new disclosure.

RETIREMENT ALERT — Gutierrez won’t seek reelection, via POLITICO Illinois’ Natasha Korecki: “Rep. Luis Gutierrez (D-Ill.) a leading national voice on immigration reform, will not seek reelection and is expected to announce his decision [this] morning, three Democratic sources with knowledge of the decision told POLITICO. Gutierrez is expected to announce he’s withdrawing his nominating petitions [today].”

“The sources say that former Chicago mayoral candidate Jesus ‘Chuy’ Garcia will begin circulating petitions for Gutierrez’s post. Gutierrez’s spokesman, Douglas Rivlin, said he couldn’t comment.” Full story here.

AIR WAR — Tax reform ads fly ahead of votes this week: A slew of liberal and conservative groups are out with television ads pressuring senators ahead of this week’s Senate votes on tax reform. The DSCC is airing an ad featuring families receiving notices saying their tax bill is going up. “How much will the Republican tax scam cost you?” the ad’s narrator asks after the spot notes the elimination of the state and local tax, student loan and medical deductions. Watch it here.

— The Chamber of Commerce airs holiday-themed spots in three states: The U.S. Chamber of Commerce is up with holiday-themed radio ads pressuring three GOP senators to support the bill: Maine Sen. Susan Collins, Montana Sen. Steve Daines and Wisconsin Sen. Ron Johnson. “What’s the best gift [the senator] can give this holiday season?” the narrator of the 60-second spots asks. “The gift of tax relief.” Listen to the ads here, here and here.

— Business for Responsible Tax Reform pressures Corker: Business for Responsible Tax Reform is up with a 30-second ad targeting Tennessee Sen. Bob Corker that notes the tax reform bill increases the deficit. Watch the ad here.

— Not One Penny targets Trump: Not One Penny, a coalition of Democratic groups, is out with a television ad set to air during “Fox and Friends.” The ad notes President Donald Trump’s frequent Twitter messages and challenges him to tweet about tax breaks for golf course owners. Watch the spot here.

— AAN adds $2.5 million in TV, digital ads on tax reform: American Action Network is out with a $2.5 million TV and digital ad effort, thanking GOP House members in 29 House districts who voted for the Republican tax bill. The ad will air in largely battleground seats. Check out the full list of districts here. Watch the ad here.

— National Immigration Forum launches DACA ad: The National Immigration Forum is spending five figures to run digital ads in five states and D.C. criticizing Republicans on DACA. The ads focus on a young, undocumented immigrant named Bernardo Castro. More here.

Days until the 2018 election: 343

Thanks for joining us! You can email tips to the Campaign Pro team at sbland@politico.com, eschneider@politico.com, krobillard@politico.com, dstrauss@politico.com and mseverns@politico.com.

You can also follow us on Twitter: @politicoscott, @ec_schneider, @politicokevin, @danielstrauss4 and @maggieseverns.

Playbook Interview with Marco Rubio — Join POLITICO Playbook Co-authors Anna Palmer and Jake Sherman for a Playbook Interview with Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) on end-of-year Senate priorities, policy, politics and the news of the day. Nov. 29 — Doors open 8:00 a.m. — The Liaison Capitol Hill. RSVP: here.

LONG-SHOT BID — “Former Kelly aide to mount last-minute Alabama Senate bid against Moore,” by POLITICO’s Cristiano Lima: “A former top aide to White House chief of staff John Kelly intends to launch a last-minute write-in campaign in the race for Alabama’s open Senate seat. Retired Marine Col. Lee Busby, 60, of Tuscaloosa, Ala., said Monday he plans to challenge Democratic candidate Doug Jones and embattled Republican Roy Moore for the state’s open seat. He also launched a bare-bones website counting down to the Dec. 12 special election.” Full story here.

MOORE ON THOSE ADS — Moore denies allegations in new TV ad: ���A new ad announced by Alabama Republican Roy Moore’s campaign says the accusations that he pursued multiple women when they were teenagers and he was in his 30s are ‘false allegations,’” Strauss reports. Full story here. And read about Jones’ latest ad here.

— Pro-Jones super PAC dropped $1 million over last weekend: “Highway 31, the super PAC supporting Democrat Doug Jones in the Alabama Senate race, has disclosed spending another $1.1 million on ads boosting the candidate and hitting Republican Roy Moore,” reports Strauss. Full story here.

NEW ON THE AIRWAVES — Pittenger talks ‘War on Christmas’ in TV ad: North Carolina Rep. Robert Pittenger is out with a new TV and digital ad, which started airing over Thanksgiving weekend, about Christmas. “Christmas — a time we honor the birth of Jesus Christ, yet some choose political correctness, attacking our faith and values, refusing to say ‘Merry Christmas,’” the ad’s narrator says. “Let’s join together to honor the birth of Jesus Christ and Christmas traditions.” Pittenger, directly addressing the camera, concludes: “I’ve dedicated my life to sharing God’s love through Jesus Christ. Let’s end political correctness and put the true meaning of Christ back into Christmas.” Pittenger is up against a well-funded primary and general election opponent, both of whom outraised him last quarter. Mark Harris, a pastor who nearly beat him in a primary in 2016, is challenging him again. Watch the ad here.

— American Chemistry Council’s new spot backs Barrasso: The American Chemistry Council’s new ad praises Sen. John Barrasso as “Wyoming’s conservative force.” Watch it here.

SOMETHING TO WATCH — “Puerto Ricans could transform Florida politics, and parties are taking notice,” by NBC News’ Carmen Sesin: “So far, over 189,000 Puerto Ricans have migrated to the state after the hurricane left unimaginable destruction throughout the island. Planes arriving from Puerto Rico remain full and some estimate as many as half a million people will eventually make their way to Florida. Although some, particularly the older generations, will eventually return to the island, experts believe most will remain here. Central Florida is their preferred destination, but areas like South Florida and Tampa are also seeing an influx of Puerto Ricans.” Full story.

GETTING THE NOD — Club for Growth PAC backs Fulcher in ID-01 primary: “The Club for Growth PAC is endorsing former state Sen. Russ Fulcher in the crowded Republican primary to replace Idaho Rep. Raúl Labrador, who’s running for governor. … Fulcher initially launched a gubernatorial bid but dropped out in June and endorsed Labrador. Fulcher, who also ran for governor in 2014, led the pack of GOP candidates in fundraising last quarter, bringing in more than $100,000.” Full story.

2018 WATCH — “Virginia Republicans anticipating state Del. Nick Freitas to announce run for U.S. Senate,” by the Richmond Times-Dispatch’s Patrick Wilson: “Virginia Republicans are anticipating that a state lawmaker will join the GOP primary race for a chance to challenge U.S. Sen. Tim Kaine, D-Va., next year, according to GOP insiders. The new contender would be Del. Nicholas J. Freitas, R-Culpeper, an Iraq combat veteran first elected to the General Assembly in 2015 and easily reelected this year. Freitas would join Corey Stewart, chairman of the Prince William Board of County Supervisors, in seeking the GOP nomination.” Full story.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: “This so-called off-the-record conversation was the essence of a scheme to deceive and embarrass us,” Washington Post Executive Editor Marty Baron said, explaining why the newspaper published an off-the-record exchange with a woman who appears to have tried to scam the paper with a false Roy Moore allegation while acting on behalf of the conservative group Project Veritas.

Source link

source https://capitalisthq.com/moore-buried-under-tv-ad-barrage/ from CapitalistHQ http://capitalisthq.blogspot.com/2017/11/moore-buried-under-tv-ad-barrage.html

[everettwilkinson]

Moore buried under TV ad barrage

With Zach Montellaro, Elena Schneider

The following newsletter is an abridged version of Campaign Pro’s Morning Score. For an earlier morning read on exponentially more races — and for a more comprehensive aggregation of the day’s most important campaign news — sign up for Campaign Pro today. (http://www.politicopro.com/proinfo)

Story Continued Below

MOORE PROBLEMS — “Moore buried under TV ad barrage,” by POLITICO’s Scott Bland and Daniel Strauss: “Doug Jones and Roy Moore both released new television ads on Monday. But many Alabama voters will see only one of them. That’s because of the massive disparity in TV ad spending between the two candidates in the Alabama special election to a Senate seat, where Jones, the Democratic candidate, is outspending Moore roughly 7-to-1. … Fueled by millions of online dollars pouring in to defeat Moore, Jones’ campaign has flooded the airwaves with over $5.6 million of TV ads overall in the general election campaign. Moore has answered with about $800,000 in ad spending, according to Advertising Analytics.”

“Jones’ campaign built a big financial advantage even before women came forward accusing Moore of sexual misconduct in early November. … A new campaign finance report from ActBlue, the widely used Democratic digital fundraising platform, shows Jones raised nearly $2.9 million online in October alone. But the firestorm that ensued after numerous allegations surfaced against Moore galvanized even more financial support for Jones, giving him the resources to relentlessly pound Moore on-air as a child predator.” Full story here.

— Pro-Moore super PAC backed by Uihlein: A pop-up super PAC that has spent six figures supporting Moore in recent months received the majority of its funds from Wisconsin-based conservative megadonor Richard Uihlein, according to a new FEC filing. The PAC, called Proven Conservative PAC, has spent $147,649 since being formed in August and received $100,000 from Uihlein. One of Uihlein’s donations came on Nov. 22, more than a week after the first allegations of sexual misconduct against Moore surfaced, according to the new disclosure.

RETIREMENT ALERT — Gutierrez won’t seek reelection, via POLITICO Illinois’ Natasha Korecki: “Rep. Luis Gutierrez (D-Ill.) a leading national voice on immigration reform, will not seek reelection and is expected to announce his decision [this] morning, three Democratic sources with knowledge of the decision told POLITICO. Gutierrez is expected to announce he’s withdrawing his nominating petitions [today].”

“The sources say that former Chicago mayoral candidate Jesus ‘Chuy’ Garcia will begin circulating petitions for Gutierrez’s post. Gutierrez’s spokesman, Douglas Rivlin, said he couldn’t comment.” Full story here.

AIR WAR — Tax reform ads fly ahead of votes this week: A slew of liberal and conservative groups are out with television ads pressuring senators ahead of this week’s Senate votes on tax reform. The DSCC is airing an ad featuring families receiving notices saying their tax bill is going up. “How much will the Republican tax scam cost you?” the ad’s narrator asks after the spot notes the elimination of the state and local tax, student loan and medical deductions. Watch it here.

— The Chamber of Commerce airs holiday-themed spots in three states: The U.S. Chamber of Commerce is up with holiday-themed radio ads pressuring three GOP senators to support the bill: Maine Sen. Susan Collins, Montana Sen. Steve Daines and Wisconsin Sen. Ron Johnson. “What’s the best gift [the senator] can give this holiday season?” the narrator of the 60-second spots asks. “The gift of tax relief.” Listen to the ads here, here and here.

— Business for Responsible Tax Reform pressures Corker: Business for Responsible Tax Reform is up with a 30-second ad targeting Tennessee Sen. Bob Corker that notes the tax reform bill increases the deficit. Watch the ad here.

— Not One Penny targets Trump: Not One Penny, a coalition of Democratic groups, is out with a television ad set to air during “Fox and Friends.” The ad notes President Donald Trump’s frequent Twitter messages and challenges him to tweet about tax breaks for golf course owners. Watch the spot here.

— AAN adds $2.5 million in TV, digital ads on tax reform: American Action Network is out with a $2.5 million TV and digital ad effort, thanking GOP House members in 29 House districts who voted for the Republican tax bill. The ad will air in largely battleground seats. Check out the full list of districts here. Watch the ad here.

— National Immigration Forum launches DACA ad: The National Immigration Forum is spending five figures to run digital ads in five states and D.C. criticizing Republicans on DACA. The ads focus on a young, undocumented immigrant named Bernardo Castro. More here.

Days until the 2018 election: 343

Thanks for joining us! You can email tips to the Campaign Pro team at sbland@politico.com, eschneider@politico.com, krobillard@politico.com, dstrauss@politico.com and mseverns@politico.com.

You can also follow us on Twitter: @politicoscott, @ec_schneider, @politicokevin, @danielstrauss4 and @maggieseverns.

Playbook Interview with Marco Rubio — Join POLITICO Playbook Co-authors Anna Palmer and Jake Sherman for a Playbook Interview with Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) on end-of-year Senate priorities, policy, politics and the news of the day. Nov. 29 — Doors open 8:00 a.m. — The Liaison Capitol Hill. RSVP: here.

LONG-SHOT BID — “Former Kelly aide to mount last-minute Alabama Senate bid against Moore,” by POLITICO’s Cristiano Lima: “A former top aide to White House chief of staff John Kelly intends to launch a last-minute write-in campaign in the race for Alabama’s open Senate seat. Retired Marine Col. Lee Busby, 60, of Tuscaloosa, Ala., said Monday he plans to challenge Democratic candidate Doug Jones and embattled Republican Roy Moore for the state’s open seat. He also launched a bare-bones website counting down to the Dec. 12 special election.” Full story here.

MOORE ON THOSE ADS — Moore denies allegations in new TV ad: “A new ad announced by Alabama Republican Roy Moore’s campaign says the accusations that he pursued multiple women when they were teenagers and he was in his 30s are ‘false allegations,’” Strauss reports. Full story here. And read about Jones’ latest ad here.

— Pro-Jones super PAC dropped $1 million over last weekend: “Highway 31, the super PAC supporting Democrat Doug Jones in the Alabama Senate race, has disclosed spending another $1.1 million on ads boosting the candidate and hitting Republican Roy Moore,” reports Strauss. Full story here.

NEW ON THE AIRWAVES — Pittenger talks ‘War on Christmas’ in TV ad: North Carolina Rep. Robert Pittenger is out with a new TV and digital ad, which started airing over Thanksgiving weekend, about Christmas. “Christmas — a time we honor the birth of Jesus Christ, yet some choose political correctness, attacking our faith and values, refusing to say ‘Merry Christmas,’” the ad’s narrator says. “Let’s join together to honor the birth of Jesus Christ and Christmas traditions.” Pittenger, directly addressing the camera, concludes: “I’ve dedicated my life to sharing God’s love through Jesus Christ. Let’s end political correctness and put the true meaning of Christ back into Christmas.” Pittenger is up against a well-funded primary and general election opponent, both of whom outraised him last quarter. Mark Harris, a pastor who nearly beat him in a primary in 2016, is challenging him again. Watch the ad here.

— American Chemistry Council’s new spot backs Barrasso: The American Chemistry Council’s new ad praises Sen. John Barrasso as “Wyoming’s conservative force.” Watch it here.

SOMETHING TO WATCH — “Puerto Ricans could transform Florida politics, and parties are taking notice,” by NBC News’ Carmen Sesin: “So far, over 189,000 Puerto Ricans have migrated to the state after the hurricane left unimaginable destruction throughout the island. Planes arriving from Puerto Rico remain full and some estimate as many as half a million people will eventually make their way to Florida. Although some, particularly the older generations, will eventually return to the island, experts believe most will remain here. Central Florida is their preferred destination, but areas like South Florida and Tampa are also seeing an influx of Puerto Ricans.” Full story.

GETTING THE NOD — Club for Growth PAC backs Fulcher in ID-01 primary: “The Club for Growth PAC is endorsing former state Sen. Russ Fulcher in the crowded Republican primary to replace Idaho Rep. Raúl Labrador, who’s running for governor. … Fulcher initially launched a gubernatorial bid but dropped out in June and endorsed Labrador. Fulcher, who also ran for governor in 2014, led the pack of GOP candidates in fundraising last quarter, bringing in more than $100,000.” Full story.

2018 WATCH — “Virginia Republicans anticipating state Del. Nick Freitas to announce run for U.S. Senate,” by the Richmond Times-Dispatch’s Patrick Wilson: “Virginia Republicans are anticipating that a state lawmaker will join the GOP primary race for a chance to challenge U.S. Sen. Tim Kaine, D-Va., next year, according to GOP insiders. The new contender would be Del. Nicholas J. Freitas, R-Culpeper, an Iraq combat veteran first elected to the General Assembly in 2015 and easily reelected this year. Freitas would join Corey Stewart, chairman of the Prince William Board of County Supervisors, in seeking the GOP nomination.” Full story.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: “This so-called off-the-record conversation was the essence of a scheme to deceive and embarrass us,” Washington Post Executive Editor Marty Baron said, explaining why the newspaper published an off-the-record exchange with a woman who appears to have tried to scam the paper with a false Roy Moore allegation while acting on behalf of the conservative group Project Veritas.

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