#this part of the song fucking killed me one night and i literally couldn't stop laughing

[microwave-core]

I wish that music players on blogs still worked. If they did, I would put this on loop.

[james-is-here]

I need bangchan angst 🙏

😱 *Le Gasp* I just so happen to have some Channie Angst ☺️ Three posts in one night? Have I slept yet? 😶 No comment...also the descriptions Chan lists for reader are literally my own preferences and what I like 😂

Blogs: @belladonna6-6-6 @leezanetheofficial @demtttt (Still can't tag) @succubus-hansol @yongbokkk @heartbinn

Tags: Angst-ity Angst Angst, Reader goes off on Chan, cliff hanger (I will make a part two of how Chan makes up to reader if you want.), implied that sex has happened, lmk if I forgot something.

Despite the exertion that has transpired, you felt cold. The air on your back as you move off your best friend almost felt like daggers are you pull the sheet over your lap, arms draped over your knees, catching your breath, before sighing and laying down, facing away from him.

Your chest tightened when you felt and heard him roll over, throw an arm over your waist and kiss your shoulder, whispering a small 'Thank you.'

You really shouldn't have but you couldn't help but agree, you'd let the world burn if it meant to make your best friend happy. You've been friends since diapers, through everything and anything. You were both into music but different paths, one producing their own songs in a group and the other producing other artists songs.

Your skin burned when he kisses your shoulder again and his hand rests on your stomach. "You okay, Mn?" The bed you're in suddenly feels uninviting when it was once your comfort zone when you needed your friend. Once a space where you and him spent countless nights talking about your day and cuddling whe the sheets absorb your mixed laughter of joy and contentment.

You couldn't take it anymore as you push him away and sit up, grabbing your sweats and putting them back on. You came for cheesy movies and snacks but you're leaving with a heart ache. "Mn, what's wrong?" You grab your hoodie and slip it over your head before standing up and leaving the room.

You're halfway to the front door when the other has caught up to you and grabbed your wrist. "Hey, Mn, you're worrying me. You can tell me what's wrong." He begs and you turn back to him. He gasps, going to reach forward to wipe your tears away but you pull back from him. "It hurts, Chris...." No nickname, no pet name, just his real name and it stung.

"Fuck this, Chris, okay? I just can't take it anymore." "Mn, your worrying me, what's wrong?" "It all hurts, Chris. When you told me you liked Felix, when you told me you were taking him on a date, when you told me you made it official, when you asked me if I wanted to go on a double date with your group member Hyunjin. All of it hurt."

"Mn, what is this-" "I fucking love you, Chan! Why could you never see it? Why could you never see my advances? I've been loving you since middle school, mate, but you are so fucking blind! I've loved you so fucking much that if I had Hanahaki I'd be dead with all the petals that were in my lungs because no matter how much love I gave, you only saw me as a friend. That double date was killing me because I couldn't stand watching the boy I love stare at someone with so much affection. For fucks sake, even Hyunjin saw that I loved you."

You stop and catch your breath but only for a moment. "New years also killed me...cause I slept on the couch and through my drunk haze I heard both of you and it hurt because honestly I was jealous that it wasn't me making you feel that way." Your voice goes weak as your tears fall freely.

"And then you have the audacity six months later to come to me crying after Felix breaks up with you. The audacity because after I comforted you and calmed you down you decided to ask me to fuck you so you could forget? You have no idea how much it hurt when all that was because I was just your rebound, a distraction. No love, no affection, no feelings. I was just your quick fuck and done and it was like a knife when I realized instead of becoming your boyfriend I became your fuck toy." "You're not my-" "I'm not done."

Chris shuts his mouth when you snap at him, the look in your eyes so sharp and hurt that his words died on his tongue. "All I felt coming from you was the need for a distraction. You know how I felt?" He tilts his head gently and the light from the patio catches his glossy eyes, unshed tears brimming on his lash line. "No." He said quietly. "I was suffering. Suffering because I knew that I was nothing to you but a friend and a quick fuck. Suffering because I knew you weren't enjoying it with me, you were picturing someone else. Suffering because I knew I would never be able to tell you how I feel because you only cared about Felix. I was genuine when I fucked you because actually getting to be inside you was better than I imagined."

You breath heavily as you try to gain your breath. "And you know what? You may be called the best leader by your fans but you're not a very good best friend."

That sentence broke him as you walk to the front door and slip on your shoes, tears falling as he gasps and releases a sob. "N-No, Hyung-" "It's Ln-nim to you. I'm done being your distraction, I'm done feeling like nothing. You have hurt me long enough and you've put me through enough pain....I'm going to the other dorm to bunk with Minho but I'll be gone in the morning."

You open the front door but a hand is on your wrist which you pull away from. "Do not try to fix this." "Hyung, please just listen." "Good luck." You say, letting Chris know he'll have a hard time trying to clear all this up.

"I-I messed up. I-I'm sorry for leading you on, Hyung, I am but Felix didn't breakup with me, I broke up with him." "You told me he did, so you're lying to me as well?" You go to walk out but he stops you again and pull you back inside, pushing you into the door before leaning forward and pressing his lips to yours. You shove him away and curse at him. "The fuck, Chris?!" "I'm sorry, I just- I broke up with him because I realized I love you." "You're just saying that." "No, I do. Even Felix could see it before I could. He was okay with me breaking up with him."

He steps back to give you space as he takes a deep breath. "I realized I loved you when I noticed I would notice small things about you that I never payed attention to as much when I was with Felix. You prefer orange juice without pulp, you can't have any drink unless it's cold or with ice, you can't eat at home without your favorite show playing in the background, you sleep with five blankets, you hate onions, you edit alone because you can't stand headphones, you prefer small silverware over big, you always get undercuts when your hair gets too long in the back. No one would ever pay attention to the small stuff but i do."

"That doesn't sway me, Chris...You hurt me." "I know and I'm sorry. Please, Please let me fix this. I don't want to loose my best friend."

You think it over. Should he get a second chance? He really shouldn't but you can see he really doesn't want to loose you. Taking a deep breath, you sigh. "One...Chance...I'm still staying with Minho and I do have to leave in the morning to meet with the current idol I'm working with but you get one chance." "Thank you, Hyung. Thank you." He steps forward, wrapping his arms around your middle and hugging you tightly before stepping back. "Is Saturday okay?" "I don't have anything Saturday." "Great. See you then. Thank you, Hyung."

He finally lets you walk out and you make your way to the other Stray Kids dorm. Your subconscious is telling you to not forgive him but your inner child is telling you that when Chris wants to make up for his mistakes he doesn't hold back and does everything he can to fix it, like when you were younger and he went through everything possible to help replace your favorite stuffed animal he borrowed but left it where Berry could reach. He saved enough money and took you to the local toy store where he used his own earnings to buy you a new one.

Entering the other dorm with the other key you have, you quietly make your way to Minho's room and slip into his bed. He doesn't budge, barely wakes up, all he does is scoot over and throw an arm over your stomach before muttering a small "Don't snore." like he always does and you chuckle softly cause he knows you don't snore.

Closing your eyes, you rest a hand on Minho's arm and scoot closer to him. Soon falling asleep quickly from how exhausted you were.

[bassettmemes]

MY FAVORITE MAGGIE ROGERS SONGS; a sentence meme. ↳ literally just a self-indulgent meme of lyrics from my favorite songs.

"the forest is dark and i'm wide awake, not sleeping."

"the road to my heart is stark, but i'm alive."

"which way would you run if you were looking through my glass eyes?"

"i was born to daylight with twilight tangled in the sky."

"the morning light will warm my tired bones."

"say your heart, it wrote me letters all the time."

"say it sealed them up and with your breath did sign them all away."

"say that your notes, they were no forgery, you meant them every line."

"you could cut my knees and leave me at the door, i'd still pick all your memories off our dusty floor."

"tell me how you are and i'll write a song for every feeling i can't name."

"we abided by the night, but there are darker things than the absence of light."

"we don't have to talk, leave your words in the city with your heavy thoughts."

"silence lays like lace around my mind."

"can you can recall that moment at all when we warmed up way last june?"

"but now I'm sick of the silence."

"the knife of insight tore its way in me."

"don't hit me up if you're feeling down."

"would you believe me now if i told you i got caught up in a wave?"

"would you hear me out if i told you i was terrified for days?"

"i couldn't stop it, tried to slow it all down."

"if you keep reachin' out, then i'll keep coming back."

"do you believe me now that i always had the best intentions, babe?"

"i'm praying to the headlights like i prayed to you."

"roll the windows down, kill the radio, i'd rather hear the wind than hear that song I'm supposed to know."

"you tell me that forever couldn't come too soon, i wanna lose my mind in a hotel room with you."

"all i've ever wanted is to make something fucking last."

"i started out trying to do what's right and lost it all in the middle of the night."

"one of these days, i'm gonna wake up smiling."

"remember the days we used to drive upstate singing indie-rock songs in the car."

"i was all the way in, you were halfway out the door."

"you were an animal making your way up the hill and i was going in for the kill."

"so you think you're on the right track, cruising on the bridge in your gray cadillac."

"you think it's easy? walking on the water like there's stepping stones."

"i'm so sick of dreaming."

"if you think that life without me's like a heart attack, take a long look in the mirror and be good with that."

"i could be your heron blue sky, i could be your white night lullaby."

"the hindsight's been the hardest part."

"cause i remember late september, your silhouette on blue wallpaper."

"you drew the line and pulled me under, but do you ever stop to wonder about me?"

"all of the things we pulled apart, i let it go, it doesn't matter."

"the seasons changed, it broke my heart."

" i will always remember you when we were dancing in the living room."

"i see it now who i was back then, so young and hungry."

"you loved me strong, and you were my friend when the world felt empty."

"i remember sentimental sleepless nights, i set the table, and just waited."

"i would have given every song i've ever written just to spend one day with you."

" when you think of me completely, i hope it doesn't freak you out."

"when you love somebody new, i hope you say it out loud."

[crazystargirl]

overheated ☆

pairing ☆ - ethan landry x reader

word count ☆ - 0.7k !

a/n ☆ - my sister chose the song for this one and it took forever to come up with an idea for it but finally figured it out, plz send ideas for the songs tho bc i literally have no clue what i'm doing more than half the time 💀

"i don't really know why you went there"

your roommate, anika, had dragged you to some lame frat party since her friends were going and she saw you moping around in the dorm

you were only really close to her and ethan who was in your econ class

you made a beeline towards ethan after a bit since anika left you to go hang out with her girlfriend which you didn't mind since you didn't expect her to stay with you the whole time

you see ethan standing with chad who was probably trying to get ethan to go and date someone

"hey ethan!" you say, coming over to the boys

ethan sees you stumble and a bit and holds onto your waist to make sure you don't fall over

"hey y/n" chad looks at ethan with a shocked expression since he knew ethan wasn't the type to just touch a girl randomly

after a while, chad had ran off, probably to find himself someone while you and ethan were sitting on a chair together, you on the chair and him on the arm of it

you see him check a text and look annoyed, quickly wiping the expression off his face when he sees you staring

"what happened?" you ask looking up at ethan, somewhat drunk at this point

"nothing…i have to go now, go home with anika ok?" ethan says, getting up and giving you a hug and leaving quickly

you're confused since you didn't know where ethan went and why he went alone since he usually always left with a party with the friend group or chad

"i kinda don't care, you wanna kill me"

you decided to go home about 10 minutes after ethan left, quickly letting anika know so she wouldn't worry

you didn't really care at this point why ethan had left early and were more concerned about getting home quickly

unknown to you, ethan was watching you walk home, didn't you know not to walk alone while intoxicated?

as much as he wanted to go over there and walk you home, that wouldn't match his personality right now

he was in his ghostface costume and had quickly fled the alley he was in after killing a group of kids there

he did feel the urge to kill someone else tonight and you certainly were playing the part of a victim right now but he couldn't bring himself to do it since he would ruin the plan

"you wanna hurt me"

after that night, ethan had been brainstorming different ways to kill the victims and unfortunately whenever he thought of a victim, you were always the first person who came to mind

sweet little y/n was just so vulnerable that night and would've probably been the perfect victim to kill if he didn't love you so damn much

his dad had told him not to get attached to anyone and when quinn had found out he was somewhat obsessed with y/n, saying she was shocked was an understatement 

quinn knew ethan loved her and was chill with it since y/n was going to have to die eventually but she never expected her dorky nerdy brother wanting to hurt y/n so badly

honestly ethan knew his ideas were fucked up but wouldn't it be fun to have someone to just hurt? and then after he could take care of her wounds and cuddle with her

ethan had tried to convince his dad before to let him keep y/n but he said no everytime. wayne knew of ethan's attachment and once he found out he immediately told quinn that she would be the one to kill y/n because god knows what ethan would do

"stop bein' flirty"

ethan often flirted with you in order to get your attention but you seemed oblivious to his attempts until Tara pointed it out to you

ever since she told you, you would always get flustered whenever he flirted or sent you a sweet text

"it's kinda workin'"

more and more everyday, you fell for ethan landry's flirty remarks

mindy had told you to be careful around since he seemed like the person most likely to be ghostface

you didn't really listen to her, brushing off her remarks everytime as just her suspicions nature

and poor you, quinn knew that you were falling for her psycho brother and there was absolutely nothing she could do. she knew that you'd have to go eventually but she didn't think ethan torturing you before your death would do any good

after all she was still your best friend

taglist ☆ - @xyzstar, @gwenlore, @dizscreams, @kaesworldxx, @urmomcomsiimiamour, @nonniesworld, @chemtr4ilz, @abodyhasbeenfound

lmk if you want to be added or removed from the taglist!

©insidethepalemoonlight || do NOT copy or repost without my permission

[mgnifique-tion]

— still a hero.

summary || `` trapped in the worst earth to ever exist, the scientist finds herself in a confession made by the dark speedster. ``

pairing: headcanon–blitzkrieg!barry x fem!scientist!reader song recommendation: innocent (taylor swift) lowercase is intended…

— themes and warning/s: fluff, enemies to lovers-ish, swearing (?), suggestive for a moment (but not really?), comfort, mentions nazis, mentions death (nobody dies though), and a bit angsty

— a/n: actually, i have absolutely no knowledge of comic!blitzkrieg but ever since i found out that this character was cut out of crisis on earth-x (alleged..? so not sure), i knew i had to write about angsty barry with a different flavor and storyline… did i nail it? did i nail it better than the cw– anywho, enjoy! (i also write for k-pop on my main account so if you’re into that, follow @mgnifiqueyoo ^^)

[ total words: 3.3k ]

support me on ko-fi! ☕

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

alright.

here's the so-called thing: it's been weeks since the nazi in the black suit stopped the führer from executing you and you just couldn't stop thinking about it. 

you were from earth-1, a curious scientist who had gone to lengths to explore the multiverse and it just so happened that you landed on this one. i mean, what's wrong with living on an earth where the nazis won? haha, everything.

everything's seriously fucked up.

“hey!” the speedster was aggressive but not in a way that you'd expect as you stood there in the middle of a red 'x' symbol on the cemented ground, ready to be shot with one of those arrows that killed the innocents who chose not to conform. you opened your eyes to see that the hooded führer, leader of the entire world, was even startled by how the black streak was stopping him from ending your final breaths. “i know this is for the fatherland but she’s done nothing. she's not the one who stole the samples from us. you've got the wrong girl.” 

the führer, an awful version of the star city mayor, oliver queen, lowered his bow and you were just mind-blown that he'd even take it into consideration. 

“are you sure about this? because i’ll put an arrow in your eye if we're both wrong.” he taunted through gritted teeth as the speedster ran towards him, stopping right in front of him. he was so fast that you couldn't even tell if he was teleporting or running. 

he is the fastest man alive after all.

“oh, right. i'm sure,” the masked accomplice answered with a chuckle, later placing his hands behind his head as if this was all a game to him. “and also, i can easily kill you right now but i wouldn't do that since i'm telling you the truth.”

“good point.” the archer responded, breathing in as he turned around to face his other men, who had now lowered their guns as well while his kryptonian wife squinted her eyes, quite disgusted.

“we're done here. she's in blitzkreig's hands,” he told her, which almost made her feel nauseous. — she anticipated your death the most but that's not even the weirdest part about her; she's literally an alien. “she's of no importance anyway.”

and somehow, that brought you here; you're now in the headquarters of those nazis, waiting for the speedster to show up. why? because he ridiculously called you in the middle of the night and you think that it's an emergency.

oh, right. you're his speed mentor these days. that's why he did that.

“where is he?” you mutter in almost a whisper, bouncing your leg furiously as the heel of your shoe tapped the floor's tiles. time is ticking and you're getting anxious. what if this is a trap, right? that could get you killed.

but what if it isn't? then, something else must be up. 

a familiar gust of wind strikes into the room, even snatching your wrist watch away as he checks the time himself. “i'm not too late, am i?” he asks in a joking manner as you can't help but let out a sigh, trying to keep your patience together. for the record, you thought he was getting killed and for some reason, you kind of wished that something as serious as that was actually happening instead. 

“... was there even an emergency?” you question, your brows already knitting lower as he lets out a chuckle. “so, there's no emergency,” you utter, still trying your best not to say anything that'd annoy him – which would later convince him to turn you to the führer or just kill you himself. “great. that's understandable.”

the strange meta laughs even louder, later looking down at you with his bottom lip bitten by himself as if he'd been viewing you differently.

“don't sulk about it, doc. remember, you signed up for this,” he tells you to quit thinking about it as a bad thing, tilting his head to the side. you could just see it in his eyes – the desire to annoy you in that high chair you're sitting on. “would you rather be an earth-1 fugitive or be a free man- well, woman, on this earth? plus, you're my property anyway. you've already gotten so many privileges with just that.”

he's smug, unserious, and unbelievably so overconfident that even as bad as siren-x wanted to replace him – but mainly because of her feelings for the one and only führer but let's not dive into that love triangle between an alien, a meta, and the jacked apple of their eye.

“but i do have a problem… surprisingly.”

you raise both of your eyebrows, intrigued by how his mood shifted. you never expected the blitzkrieg, killer speedster faster than thawne, to consult you about a problem. he's never had them before and it just shows how bothered he is by this so-called problem.

so, what is it?

“are you… running differently?” the question almost sounded like a joke to him if it weren't for that genuine look on his face. the speedster crosses his arms, slightly puckering his lower lip out while he's obviously frowning at you through that mask. it's hard to make out what his face actually looks like but for some reason, you can read him so well.

but then, he lets out a quiet snicker. “no, that's a shit guess... guess again.” he was eager to let you find out the reason yourself that you just spent a few seconds (fifteen or so?) thinking of a possible answer.

and when you looked back up at him, you shake your head, causing him to roll his eyes, annoyed again. “guess again- come on, you’re not an idiot. if you were, then i would’ve let you get killed.”

“i literally don’t know. i’m sorry.” you apologize – well, more like forced to do so – as he slouches his shoulders in disappointment. he just couldn’t believe that it’s hopeless for you to know what his problem was!

even though he was being totally vague and unreasonable at this point, he knew you knew him in a different way; in a way that you knew what he’s like even without knowing the face behind the mask. 

so it just surprised him that you had no idea what he’s talking about.

he takes in a deep breath, readying himself to tell you the issue; the main reason why you’re here in the lab at three o’clock in the morning all by yourself and… him, of course.

“i can’t sleep and i don’t know why… this is my first time, alright? don’t judge,” he blurts out, the confidence stripping away little by little as you take a moment to understand what he’s telling you. is he not joking with you? that’s a new thing.

he’s always so fond of ruining your days whenever you come around to work at the laboratory but he seems so different now. way too solemn for you to think he’s even joking at this very moment. 

“... you can’t sleep well, is that why you called me here at 3 am?” 

and shockingly, he nods right away, determined to learn more about his ongoing problem. “yes and god, it’s horrible. everytime i close my eyes, i keep on thinking about something else and the next thing, my mind’s all about her.” blitzkrieg runs his mouth almost faster than he could do with his own legs that he doesn’t even realize that he let an important and rather private detail slip. 

her

who was she?

“... her?” you ask, watching how his already dilated eyes almost jump out of its sockets, terrified to find out that you heard him say those things hilariously clear. in panic, the wrist watch he snatched from you drops from his grip, resulting in him looking down to see what he’s done.

“is she an ex-girlfriend?” you continued to ask him, not letting the key part of his sleeping problem get ignored as you find yourself getting even more interested.

“um… no, she isn’t. not an ex or anything,” he answers truthfully, the unknown awkward side of him taking over his voice as he later picks up the wrist watch from the floor. handing it to you, he manages to keep his distance, his hands intertwined with one another while he stands stiffly. “but, uh, i count her as somewhat of a friend- it’s complicated.” he crosses his arms, slightly nodding as those words of denial flow out of his lips, his eyes clearly avoiding yours.

‘is he having a crush on someone?’ you think, tilting your head to one side as you lean your chin over your knuckles, unsure of what else you could make out of this brand new information that you’d rather expect from the ruthless kryptonian with the heart disease.

“look, i’m not a therapist or anything so i’ll use my logic instead,” you start with a disclaimer, leaning your back against the rails of the high chair as he nods once again, still willing to listen. “so, what are those thoughts specifically? i mean, there’s a really huge chance that those thoughts could be distracting enough to not make you sleep.”

he stares at the other side of the room, silent again. you could tell he was so bothered by his own late-night thoughts that he could spend seconds staying quiet just by thinking about them. “... i keep on remembering how she’s looked me in the eye, scared shitless. untrusting. overall pathetic… but for some reason, i always feel the need to protect her.”

“... you could feel that?”

“i said don’t judge.”

but it was too unexpected for him to feel that way about someone! whoever that girl was, you were so sure that blitzkrieg loved her whether he’d admit it to himself or not.

“but that’s not all, i also think of her in ways that i probably shouldn’t tell you,” he says in a teasing tone, his signature smirk finally showing up within his lips after long moments of just pure seriousness and deep down in him, he’s wishing to make you feel the nosiest you’ve ever been. “... or should i?”

you squint your eyes at him in confusion, torn between being nosy and being a decent “doctor” or whatever he wants you to be.

“you seem excited to tell me so do as you please,” you say with a slight chuckle, trying your best to be relaxed about it as if you’re not interested to listen in the first place – which, in reality, you actually are. 

“what? you want me to tell you?” he’s around the middle of laughing and panicking as he avoids that look on your face again, just like earlier. in response, you hum, still playing the chill listener, who would choose to keep the darkest secrets of her friends to herself than letting them have their own privacy.

after all, you’d swear to tell no one. it’s not really much of a big deal.

he then faces you once more, eyes looking at you from top to bottom as he takes a step or two towards you. suddenly, he lifts away the mask from his face, finally revealing his biggest secret to you with anxiety firing up his nerves – and apparently, you knew who he was all along.

well, his earth-1 counterpart at least: bartholomew henry allen, the chemist from central city’s police department; someone that your past co-worker julian albert used to dislike for months.

“barry allen?” you whisper in disbelief, carefully bringing your palm to your lips to shush yourself as he nods slowly. to be honest, he’s been waiting ages for you to figure that out but it seems that you’ve brushed those thoughts away for a reason that he had no idea about. 

“anyway, back to the topic, are you sure that you want to know what i think of her?” he changes the subject as quickly as possible, which causes you to take a second before nodding along. well, it’s quite a thing for this earth to get shocking with the counterparts – this man in front of you would be called a “modern hero” in your world yet in this one, it seemed that wasn’t the case.

let’s face it. even this version of barry would call himself unkind. “oh, and before you ask why i showed you my face, that’s because i trust you,” he begins with a reminder, hoping that you’d take note of that as you nod once more. your ears are basically ringing, tingling, and almost itching to listen to what he’d tell you. “i want you to tell no one else about this, is that clear?”

and of course, you nod another time, already getting even more impatient as minutes pass by.

“i don’t think i should explain further when i tell you that i think about her a lot in bed,” barry admits with a smirk on his face as one of your eyebrow arches in curiosity. you later let out a hum, a cue for him to continue with his stories; you’re now definitely sure that he really does like her, whoever she is.

“i think about how her skin would feel under my fingertips once she finds out who i really am.”

he takes another step towards you, his eyes fixated on his gloved hands as he looks back into your eyes in a way that he’s almost telling you something that shouldn’t be said.

something that’d put himself in danger. “often times, i’d think of playing the hero over and over again… just so she knows that i’ll put my life on the line for her,” he says, later glaring back at you with a hint of desperation. — he’s been waiting for seconds, minutes, days, and even weeks to tell you this. to tell you all about it. to tell you that this girl he’s talking about is no stranger to you.

he then takes the empty seat next to yours, keeping his head down for a while. for him, saying things like these is a struggle, especially since he lives in a world where freedom couldn’t be an option unless you’re wearing a badge. and even though you were his “speed doctor,” he knew that you wouldn’t still be treated the same way as he was and the constant reminder of that was crushing him slowly.

and then, he lifts his head up and says, “i’ve been thinking about you all the time.”

you freeze in your seat as if time has stopped, taken aback by how he’s now talking about you and not someone else you didn’t know. barry reaches for your hand and you let him take it, placing it over his chest as if he’s asking you to check his pulse.

“when doctor west… iris was executed by thawne, i thought that i could never feel this way anymore,” he admits, softly caressing your hand. the rough leather of his suit grazes over your skin so gently like a feather that he almost forgot that he’d also use that same hand to drill into someone’s chest, even taking their heart out for the fun of it. “but you… you made me realize that i wasn’t always a monster. that i once loved someone… that i was once human.”

“... barry-”

“you don’t have to say anything,” he cuts you off, shaking his head as if he’s actually giving you control of the situation unlike usual, wherein it’s always his call that matters. and deep down, you didn’t know what to tell him.

everything was happening so fast that you couldn’t even believe that this earth’s barry is the man behind that dark mask, which would usually be seen before someone’s death. 

he then takes another deep breath, returning your hand back to you as he looks out at the window, spending a few moments to think about what he’s done. — he fell in love with you already and it’s too late to crawl out of the deep pit that has no floor; a wide space like an ocean but instead of waters, it’s all those things about you. what he liked about you from head to toe. the things that his mind would be focused on every single night.

he couldn’t sleep, yes.

but he’d always smile whenever he remembers that somebody like you exists in his life.

a life so dark, so broken, so warped that he believes that he doesn’t even deserve to feel loved.

“i can take you back to your earth, where you belong. i know you’ve been staying here for months…” he trailed off, thinking about it deeply. he's torn between it. just because he could love, that didn't mean he's an angel – he's a thousand miles away from it. 

he wants you here all to himself and owned by no one else but him. he craves for you to be around him all the time. he wants your eyes on him only.

but he knew it would hurt you.

and it almost kills him to think of that.

“... but you deserve to go home.” he was miserable. deep down that silly, menacing facade was just someone so in need of feeling something. anything. and god, was it so addicting to feel some love for once. “because in the end, you'll always be that person who reminded me of who i used to be… who i wished to be.”

there was long, loud silence. a silence that ticks like a time bomb, pressuring you to think of how this all would turn out to be. after all, what would happen next is in your hands.

“i’m starting to think that there’s a reason why i ended up here,” you said with a gulp, about to make the biggest decision ever. he raised an eyebrow at you, confusion shown within his whole face as he cocked his head to the side with a question that remained in his mind– what exactly did you mean? 

“this world needs saving… and maybe we’ll be the ones who’d save it.”

the speedster had a frozen look on his face, clearly not expecting that those words would even come out of your mouth.

“do you really think that it’s not too late for me to change?” hope was seen in his eyes, his brows furrowed in both confusion yet belief in what you’d tell him next as you nodded, your soft palm later reaching for the side of his face. 

he closed his eyes so tightly for a long moment, his chest rising up and down so quickly in anticipation. 

he’s never felt a touch like that in ages. the last time he’s ever felt a hand graze over his skin was the moment he’s locked eyes with his iris, who had been fighting for her life ‘til her last breath.

i’ll be okay, she said no matter how the red pooled over her chest, the blade that thawne held seconds before was sticking out of her. 

the very moment he’d realized that this agenda that the new reich had implemented was not worth doing at all.

“there’s a hero in all of us,” you said, your hand slipping away from his skin slowly when he’s suddenly reached out for it, holding your arm so dearly like fragile, thin glass. “and you already saved me.” 

“let’s go save the world together, then?”

“of course.”

[dishushu]

"i’m still into you, morales."

pairing: miles morales !1610 x reader

genre: angst to fluff:)

inspo song: still into you. - paramore

warnings: cursing, blood, near death experience for reader, angry miles:(, green goblin being a creepy ass bitch, weapons.

words: 1.2k.

summary: the only way he can keep you safe is by breaking up with you for your safety, but months later you run into him and fortunately, you’re still into him.

a/n- ill be taking a small break after writing this due to my mental health literally crashing but i promise yall once im back ill post something😭 this is a small fic bc im currently focusing on other stuff at the moment AND i wanna thank @smokeywhalee for giving me the idea on the last part love ya mwahh❤❤

can't count the years on one hand that we've been, together.

miles and you have been best friends since you were small— quite frankly your whole childhood. miles was always right by your side through thick and thin, and you did too.

but when our fingers interlock, can’t deny, can’t deny you’re worth it.

and that’s when you started dating miles, you realized he fell in love with you the moment he saw you and his love grew fonder and fonder as he grew older.

you recount the night that you first, told his mother, and on the drive back to your house, he told you for the first time he loved you.

and you felt the weight of the world fall off your shoulders, and you sing along to the start of forever—

but that ended soon.

ever since miles became spiderman, his life started to become more dangerous — and you were worried sick.

everyday he would climb to your apartment, wounded and injured and you’d always patch him up, and he would always leave you worried.

so that’s when he decided to leave you for his own safety— and yours.

when he broke the news to you, it’s like your whole world stopped— you were frozen and so was time, but it was for your own good and his.

“i’m so so sorry mi corazon, it’s for your own good, i promise. please don’t cry anymore.” he whined, cupping your jawline as he wiped your tears.

you could see his glistening eyes, his tears waiting to fall as if they were impatient, you felt your heart shatter even more every minute you looked into his eyes.

you grabbed the said hand that was on your jaw, holding it tightly and savoring the last moment you both were witnessing.

he gave you one final goodbye kiss and in the blink of an eye, he was gone.

you couldn’t do anything now that your love of your life was gone, you couldn’t believe it that your last moment with miles is with him leaving.

———

hours of sleepless nights, days of overthinking and sadness burying you, and weeks of crying passed since miles left you and you couldn't even tell time anymore, you were still into him but what could you do now?

it was not until everything went downhill for you.

the green goblin has been miles's archnemesis for god knows how long ever since he became spiderman— and the green goblin was determined to find you, the love of his life, and make him miserable, so he used you as bait.

as you were walking down a sketchy road to pass the convenience store to get a snack, you heard a loud clang in a sketchy alleyway and you stopped in your tracks, turning your head to look at the gloomy area— and before you knew it, the green goblin glided out and took you in, covering your mouth to prevent you from screaming and his other hand holding a knife.

he took you to a rooftop in a sketchy area, the moon and street lights being so dim you can barely see anything. the green goblins breath over your neck as the knife he was holding was now on your neck, as he glided through the surface of it and making you bleed and wince in pain.

“what do you want from me? let me fucking go please!” you screamed as tears planted your face— trying to escape from his grasp.

“now now sweetheart, i need your little boyfriend, you’re useless to me— i just need to kill you and then kill him next.”

he whispered into your ear as you cringed back— his words echoing in your mind over and over again, the realization hitting you that he’s gonna kill miles— when you heard a voice from afar, a familiar voice you’ve always known.

“let ‘em go.” the voice was demeaning, when you lifted your head up and saw.. “miles..?” you whispered as tears began streaming down your face, when the green goblin shut you up by slicing another cut with the knife as you cried out in pain.

miles webbed the knife onto the ground as he stepped closer and was ready to pounce on the green goblin, he’d do anything just to keep you alive— even it means he had to face the opposite.

“hold on now— if you’re gonna kill me you’ll be killing them now wouldn’t you?” he said, his free hand now gripping on your neck as he choked you— your struggling making your breath shorter every second.

miles put his hand down as he looked over to the green goblins glider that was on the side of the door— he grabbed it by webbing it and slid it off the rooftop, the web still holding on to it as it was dangling off the rooftop.

the green goblin gasped as he let go of your neck, leaving you to fall on the ground as you gasped for air— the sight of you making miles want to punch out the green goblins guts for doing this to you.

“it’s either, you give me them or i’ll drop your precious little glider.” miles protested, his voice was low but angry— a side of him you’ve never seen before.

the green goblin didn’t answer as he kept stepping closer to miles, and miles backing away in his every move.

the green goblin got tired of his little game and grabbed your hand and threw you over to miles, which in result making miles more furious.

“there, you have them now give me back my glider.” the green goblin protested as he walked closer to miles.

“come and catch it then.” miles let go of the web resulting the green goblin shouting a “NO!” — the glider falling down as the green goblin jumped to get it.

miles then looked over to you, bending down to your height as you sat on the floor— in pain and helpless.

“are you okay?” miles panicked, his both hands on your shoulders as he scanned for wounds other than the one on your neck.

you nodded as you swallowed the lump in your throat, causing you to tear up again and this making miles even more worried.

“i’m.. i’m still into you, morales.” you blurted out, causing miles to look at you with admiration.

“i should be over by the butterflies already but, i’m into you,”

as you sighed shakily to look up at miles, his hand reached for your jawline as he caressed it softly, wiping the blood away from your neck as he kissed you softly.

its like you’ve been waiting for this moment forever, now that the green goblin was gone (or was he..?)— he had you all to himself with no worries.

he pulled away from the kiss, chuckling softly as your forehead pressed on his, your nose brushing over his.

“god how i missed you and this moment, mi vida, i’m so sorry i left you— there want a day that passed by that i haven’t thought about you.” he grabbed you by the waist, pulling you closer to him as your head was on his shoulder.

“i missed you more, and i’m glad you’re still into me.”

© hearts4hobie, all rights reserved. do not steal, translate, and rewrite without permission. love y’all mwah♥️ 💋

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #115

(taken february 17th; uploading surveys taken while gone)

Do you think you have an addictive personality? I'm very well aware that I do, just like my dad, and it's why I stay away from a lot of things known to trigger addiction.

Honestly, do you enjoy arguing? No, it sends my anxiety through the fucking stratosphere immediately.

Is there anyone that you truly could not live without? I refuse to ever even consider this idea EVER again.

When was the last time someone saw you naked? Totally naked, idk. I try very hard to avoid anyone seeing me like that, but I'm pretty positive it would be my mom coming into her room after I've gotten out of the shower or something.

What is the greatest loss you’ve endured? My first real boyfriend, the person I basically entirely lost my self-autonomy to. Not by his will, in his defense.

What song (or a few songs, whatever) means a lot to you and why? I absolutely cannot listen to "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin because of a basically movie scene-worthy prom memory with Jason. I haven't heard it in years and don't plan on ever listening to it again, I just can't. It breaks me. "The Mortician's Daughter" by Black Veil Brides is also a song I generally avoid because of another memory with Jason, but I can *sometimes* listen to it. "The Ghost of You" by My Chemical Romance is yet another I'm very sensitive to because I binged the fuck outta it and cried my eyes out repeatedly to it after I learned about Jason's mom dying. That was the most painful death I have ever dealt with so far in life, and it fucking haunts me that the last thing she ever heard from me was begging to talk to her son as she talked to me well over an hour in the absolute middle of the night encouraging me to not kill myself. Then I ODed two days later. Uhhhh there's a lot of other songs but I really shouldn't have explained this one so deeply because I'm crying so we're just gonna move on.

What was the reason behind your last visit to the hospital? I was suicidal again and knew I needed to be in an environment where I couldn't be a risk to myself.

What is something you’ve done that you truly regret? Mostly things I've said. And the Joel situation when I was 12.

Do you view animals as being just as important as people? Why or why not? I sure do. I don't believe there's anything truly special or divine about humans; we're just the most advanced animals, but that doesn't make us even REMOTELY "better" than them.

What is the worst thing you’ve done to yourself? What is the worst thing someone else has done to you? Tried to kill myself. Entirely gave up on, turned on, and grew to hate myself. As for the worst thing someone else has done to me, probably how Jason left our relationship. It was SUCH a jump ship type of reaction, like he wanted to be on the other side of the world from me basically immediately, leaving me so confused and lost and hurt and just wanting to die. It's interesting to note that I didn't start healing until he actually agreed to meet with and talk to me about all this more than a year later, although I guess me also starting a strong mood stabilizer that I absolutely responded well to at the same time probably played a part, too.

What is the most personal thing you’re willing to reveal? On here, probably that I literally had surgery on my ass lmfao a pilonidal cyst is a cyst in your asscheek :^)

What made you stop talking to the last person you cut out of your life? She was/is (I 220% do not even remotely believe her claim that she's not anymore for MANY reasons) a Nazi and was also a fucking terrible "friend" to me, when it REALLY boiled down to it. She was capable of being good sometimes, yes, but our "friendship" had very serious problems in its base structure, and I was not taking her making me feel like a shitty, burdensome, annoying, and weak person anymore.

What are some kinks or turn-ons you have, if any? Sharing that kinda stuff is crossing a personal boundary for me, so skipping.

Are you one of those people that LOVE to hug others? YES. If you don't like hugs, you have to be upfront with me about that because at some point I WILL try to hug you otherwise.

Which person would you choose to travel the world with? Girt.

What is a book you can recommend to others? I will recommend Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo to literally everybody. It's an anti-war novel that leaves you feeling just plain fucking haunted and appalled by human nature.

Do you have (a) stuffed animal(s) sitting in your room? Which one(s)? I have a bunch of meerkat plushies on one shelf, as well as my favorite plush from childhood (a moose named Brownie), a fennec fox as a zoo souvenir, a Cheshire cat... maybe one or two others, idr. I now also have a giant stuffed bear sitting on a chair in this spare room because Girt got me it for Valentine's Day, haha. :') I can always see it from where I'm sitting, and I want this room to be full of stuff that motivates and makes me happy.

What do you order on a pizza? Most often I just get pepperoni, but I will also sometimes get a meat lovers-esque kind, and rarely I'll still want a jalapeno pizza.

How old was the first person you kissed? He was 18 at that time.

Last dream you had: It actually REALLY messed with me when I woke up; I remember I'd just found out I was pregnant and we were actually keeping the baby and Girt was super excited and yeah it FUCKED with me

what is the first letter of the last name of the last person you kissed? M.

Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? We like, never text. We almost always use Discord instead.

Have you been to a baby shower? Yeah, my sister's, and my ex's brother's wife's. Maybe one other person?

Something good going to happen tomorrow? Yeah, it's my youngest niece's birthday party and I'm really happy Girt is able to come with us. I'll get to see my dad, too.

Do you believe exes can be friends? In some cases, sure. But not always. I would probably even say not in *most* cases, but I don't know that with certainty.

Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater? Girt.

Has anyone ever sung to you? Girt has, and I guess kinda-sorta-but-not-exactly Jason.

Do you plan on moving out within the next year? It'd... be nice, especially if I fucking finally DO find a job at some goddamn point. I'm job-hunting online literally every day. It would be nice to get a place with Girt.

List the initials of every person you have kissed, from oldest to most recent kiss. (Put “?”s in the place of initials you don’t know.) JAR, T? (more accurately, I don't remember his last name), SJM, DM.

Honestly, have you ever eaten raw cookie dough? Haha of course.

Would you stay with your bf/gf if they did drugs? I wouldn't go *into* a relationship with someone doing drugs, but if by some incredibly low, insane chance Girt started drugs for whatever reason, I'd try to stay with him as long as I could and try very hard to convince him to stop.

Where was your mom born? Somewhere I won't disclose in New York.

What about your dad? Uh, I want to say Ohio, but it's possible it's actually Michigan.

Is your tongue pierced? It used to be; I had snake eyes, and it was probably my favorite piercing, maybe tied with my lip ring. I only took it out because it was damaging my teeth.

What did you last do in your bed? I took a nap today. I've been sleeping a lot and super heavily lately...

Have you ever named any of your pets after a cartoon character? Yeah, I remember we had a black cat growing up named Taz. Odds are pretty high we probably had another pet (probably another cat) with a cartoon name, too. OH! Already thought of one lol, we also had a BEAUTIFUL Maine coon-esque boy named Eeyore. He got hit by a car and it devastated me.

What was the last thing that someone else recommended, or suggested you try? Hmmmm... can't say I remember.

What was the last podcast you listened to? Do you listen to it regularly? I don't think I've listened to a podcast since I last listened to Rhett & Link's MANY years ago.

Have you ever held a gun? Did you fire it? I did unwillingly, but I sure as hell didn't fire it. Colleen's husband needed someone to hold it while he was doing something and I was the only one there.

What did you last take painkillers for? A fucking toothache. I'm starting to get them in a specific spot again, once more where I DIDN'T get dental work done...

What did you have for lunch today and who made it? I didn't eat lunch.

What was the last candy you ate? It was a LifeSaver. I keep them on hand because of my clinically dry mouth (I'm told to keep little candies or something like that in my purse to force salivation when I'm really suffering), but I just felt like having one.

Have you ever been hit in the face? What’s the story? Maybe accidentally, but not that I remember.

Do you know anyone who is deaf? I don't believe so.

If you wear makeup, what colors do you usually wear? IF I wear makeup, it's black.

If you have more than one pet, do they ever get jealous of each other? Roman, not so much, but Cookie definitely can get jealous.

Is there a room in your house that you don’t like going in? No.

Have you ever trespassed? I think I have. I don't think I really knew we were trespassing, though.

Are you afraid of heights? Yes.

Do you walk around barefoot when you’re at home? Or do you wear socks? I'm pretty much always barefoot unless I need slippers. I hate socks.

Would you ever be a tornado chaser? Hell. Fucking. NO. I very much hate even watching VIDEOS of small tornadoes because I get extremely, extremely anxious.

What is your favorite thing to eat with bbq sauce, if you even like that stuff? I absolutely hate bbq sauce.

Have you ever had to do a class in summer school? No.

Have you ever created a website? Multiple, but none from total scratch.

Have you ever had a dream where you killed someone? I've had absolutely countless where I've TRIED to. That's pretty much the common theme of my nightmares, and I wake myself up trying to attack someone who's in some way threatened me. I'm always stuck in this state where I'm unable to defend myself, like my body is a stone that I can't make move, until I finally do manage to lash out and wake up.

Which is worse: Sick to your stomach or sore throat? SICK TO MY STOMACH. There is NO pain that I handle worse than stomach-oriented ones, and I'm also absolutely petrified of vomiting. This is gross but I am literally the person who historically has puked multiple times not in a toilet or trash can, but on the fucking floor because I just totally, completely freeze when I feel it coming, like I don't know how to handle the sensation and I am fighting vomit coming up to the VERY last fucking second. I HONESTLY think I would rather have a sore throat for my entire life than vomit once.

Do you think your last relationship was a disaster? The one before Girt? Not a "disaster," no. Our FRIENDSHIP may have been, though.

Who do you think is the easiest to talk to? Probably Girt.

Do you have a favourite metal band or do you not like metal? Ozzy Osbourne, and Rammstein if you count them as metal. Not all their songs are, but they've definitely got some that are genuinely metal.

Thick or thin blanket? It totally depends on the time of year/temperature.

How do you mark through your word search puzzles? It depends on what writing utensil I have available to me, font size, lots.

Have you ever sewn something? No, have no idea how to. I probably should take Mom up on asking to teach me though, it might come in handy one day.

What did you eat for dinner last night? It was pasta, really good pasta.

Have you seen all of the Jaws movies? I watched just one with Tyler. Can't remember which one it was, just that it was old, and it wasn't bad.

Have you ever drunk Cherry Coke? Yeah, I like it, but not more than the OG.

Have you ever had a black eye? No.

Did you ever take a cooking class in school? No.

Have you ever been called a skank/slut because of the way you dress? Uh, not that I know of, and it's incredibly unlikely anyone ever has because I've never dressed very revealingly. There are certain types of ignorant people who could argue yes because I have large breasts and wear tank tops very regularly, but the opinions of those kinds of people don't mean shit to me, at all.

Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? I haven't seen a picture of Jason in a super long time, but probably. How I remember him, he was, but I do know he's since grown full facial hair that I've only seen one candid picture of.

Describe the most romantic moment you’ve ever had. No.

When was the last time you were scared? "Scared" isn't the right word, but I was definitely nervous earlier when the sky got pretty damn dark and it became windy. I don't like being home alone in stormy weather.

What’s your favorite song by Rihanna? I have ALWAYS adored "Disturbia."

Can you speak binary? No.

Have you ever had a pet that you disliked? To be entirely honest I absolutely hated Nicole's old dog Bentley. It was one of my biggest sighs of relief ever when we FINALLY found him a new home. Nicole didn't even live with us most of the time we had him, and he was a total pain in the ass to both Mom AND me, and also Teddy. He and Teddy fucking hated each other, and I will never forget them fighting while Cali was in heat and getting fucking blood on my wall and side of my bed.

Have you ever given a nickname to your pet(s)? Oh for sure, they pretty much all have, haha.

Do you like boys with long hair? HELL FUCKING YES

[fragglerockopinions]

I said "the AIDS crisis" and my dad said "There wasn't a crisis"

My dad said AIDS was just like COVID-19 in that it wasn't a very big deal and only killed a certain tiny insignificant part of the population (read: queer, poor, elderly, non-white, immunocompromised)

My dad said Tiana from Princess and the Frog doesn't experience racism; she experiences classism. And they called me racist when I said black people fucking jim crow america could not experience upward mobility on account of The Everything

My mom calls my antidepressants "psycho pills"

My mom got me a prescription of vitamin D pills because they don't believe in depression and think I just don't go outside enough. I work outside in a barn btw.

My mom said my chronic pain is a result of the devil trying to keep me away from god

My mom makes fun of my PTSD triggers. She sang the song I was singing when I was assaulted as a child and laughed when I covered my ears.

During wisdom tooth surgery recovery, she told me to shut up and quit whining while my only form of communication through the gauze in my mouth was whimpering.

She said I was disgusting for bleeding so much.

After I randomly started crying during wisdom tooth surgery recovery (because the process was extremely difficult, I couldn't eat anything at all even liquids for almost an entire week, and I felt helpless and ugly because of the dark purple bruising on my entire lower face, but I couldn't tell them that) my mom said I needed to get off my "psycho pills" which I hadn't even taken for a week.

She replied "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO CRY. WOMEN CRY AND MEN DON'T CRY THAT'S WHAT MAKES YOU A WOMAN."

I have been a trans man since age 11. I'm 21 now. They are in deep, deep denial.

Oh yeah every time she looked at me during that time for like three weeks and saw the bruising, she made a face and said I looked horrible.

They both always yell at me for having short hair. One time my sibling said "um he's almost 21 he can do what he wants with his hair" and my dad said "I DON'T GIVE A CRAP IF YOU'RE THIRTY SEVEN YOU OBEY ME"

They tried to throw away my favorite pillow. I found it outside on the ground and I said "um. Why is my pillow outside were you trying to throw my pillow away" and they said "no" and I said "are you sure" and they said "YOU'RE DISGUSTING WHY DON'T YOU JUST GET A NEW PILLOW"

I was telling my mom fun facts about etymology and trees and she said "Did You Know you remind me of a two year old? Did You Know you're the most annoying person on the planet?"

I told my mom I blacked out from a sudden pain in my spine and she said "that sounds a little dramatic"

The same night I said I got a bad sunburn and she said "oh my god you're so needy"

I told her I was worried because my cat was bleeding anally and she said "oh my god why are you never happy after all I do for you"

My mom said "you know you need to find something to do this summer and stop being so lazy" and I said "oh my bike has a flat tire or else I would probably be doing that" and she said "why are you so useless"

One time I hugged her and she gagged and said I smelled bad

I stopped smiling at her during high school because every time I did she would make a face and tell me I looked gross and to go brush my teeth. Even if I had literally just come upstairs from brushing them in the bathroom.

I dropped a cup of gatorade and mopped it up before she got home (agony btw that's the most painful thing I can do with my back problems) but the floor was still wet when she got home and she yelled at me and said it was my fault they had ants (they do not have ants). I said "mommy, I think my fine motor skills are getting worse and I can't grip things and everything always falls out of my hands" and she said "have you tried paying attention" 😐😐😐

She used to force me to do kegels with her when I was 13

In middle school I was assaulted and I came home crying and ran to my dad's arms and she said it was my fault it happened because I was being annoying

Of course when I brought it up recently she did not remember that.

I should start a list of outlandish shit my abusive parents say so everyone else can suffer along with me

[ectokelpeigh]

Hic. "Huh?"

Valerie knew it was kind of—okay, really a dick move to take advantage like this. Phantom was obviously tipsy. How a ghost could get tipsy, she'd need to investigate later. Priorities.

"When you... weren't a ghost. What did you look like?"

"I could show you."

"You can— What, you have a picture or something?" It tracked, Valerie thought. Phantom didn't exactly act like he'd been around pre-cameras.

"Well, yeah, but I could show you." He shrugged, the twisted to float belly-up through with his arms folded behind his head. All he was missing was a pool.

"Okay." Valerie said, and waited.

And waited.

Phantom kept floating, around and around her, in wobbly, imperfect circles between the city below and the stars above.

"Well?" Valerie hedged.

"Well what?"

"You could show me?"

"Yeah, I said I could."

"Will you?"

"Pfft, no thanks, I choose life." He paused. "Or I guess I choose staying dead. But I choose you not killing me."

"Why would I kill you?"

"Because you'd recognize me." Hiccup.

"You... think it'd upset me because you don't look different now? What, did you have anime boy hair when you were alive, too?"

"Pfft. No. It wouldn’t upset you. It’d do way more than that. You'd kill me because I don't look different. And once you killed me, I guess I'd look like this again, so it's a waste of energy. And I am—hic— lazy by nature." He kept drifting in circles around Valerie, speaking straight up to the stars. It would be hard to hear him if it wasn’t such a calm night, hardly any breeze, even so high up.

"So I knew you?” Valerie hedged, “And I didn't like you?"

She wracked her brain for anyone remotely close to her that had died young, and came up short. Luckily, Valerie's life hadn't been marred by that kind of tragedy.

That made Phantom pause. Literally. He stopped his circling, and turned so he was “laying” on his side, head now propped up on one fist. "I like to think you know me. But if we're having this conversation, I guess not." He frowned. His aura flickered— Valerie's never seen a ghost's glow falter. Is this is a tipsy thing?

Then Phantom smiled, and visibly brightened, like he was the proverbial light bulb. "Let's get to know each other, Red. What's your favorite color?"

Valerie's eyes tightened. She couldn't tell what Phantom was playing at, if he could play at anything in his condition, but she didn't have much to lose by playing along.

"Red." she said.

Phantom looked her up and down. "Boring."

"What's yours, green?" she fired back, pointedly locking eyes.

"Purple, actually."

"There's nothing boring about decking yourself out in your favorite color." Red was more of an accent since Technus's upgrade, but she still loved it. "Why no purple suit for you, huh?"

"Because I didn't get to pick,” he said, sitting up and crossing his arms across his chest. “Black is classic, anyway."

"Black is always in style, but I won't get a fashion lecture from someone in a hazmat suit."

"Yeah, yeah. Again, I didn’t pick. Next question: you remember that cartoon, American Dragon?"

"Do I— Phantom, what?"

"It's a classic."

"The theme song was terrible."

"The theme song was part of what made it a classic. I'd want something similar, if I had a theme song."

"You're right, I am going to kill you."

"Fine, fine! But you do remember show!"

"I wasn't denying it, that's just a random fucking question."

"What did you think of the show?"

"It was okay."

"You have a favorite character?"

"If you're angling at some Huntsgirl joke, I swear to—"

"The Huntsgirl! Yeah!” His eyes brightened. Again, literally. “I think Rose was her name? And no, I'm not making any jokes about you and her. Even if the simirali —hic— similarities are. You know. Crazy."

"Hmph." Valerie crossed her arms. "Make your point, ghost."

"Oh, so I'm 'ghost' again. Which is actually kind of funny—"

"Phantom!"

"Right. So you're the Huntsgirl. Kinda crazy that we never got to see her react to Jake being a dragon, huh? I mean, they had that whole star-crossed lover thing, and Jake knew but Rose didn't know that Jake knew."

"So you turn into a dragon? I don't see how that'd be 'too familiar' to show me. The only dragons I've met are Dora and her brother, and you're not them."

"You know, that is somehow a much more plausible explanation than what I actually do."

"You don't turn into a dragon?"

"You don't have to sound so disappointed."

Valerie glared.

"Me right now, is the equivalent of my, uh, dragon."

"This is what you turn into. Okay. From what?"

"What is Jake when he's not a dragon?"

"A dumbass."

"Now you're getting it. In fact, I think I've said enough that I should probably go hide now."

He vanished.

Valerie cursed under her breath, then laid on her back on her jet sled, one leg dangling off. She'd heard of that cartoon, but didn't remember much. She'd Googled it in study hall a couple years ago; when 'Red Huntress' first caught on, she overheard Mikey make the Huntsgirl comparison at lunch. It was around the time Paulina and company had ditched her, so she had time on her hands.

She made a mental list of what she remembered: Jake Long's dragon-ness was hereditary. She didn't know of any of Phantom's familial ties, not since his "cousin" turned out to be his clone. Valerie wasn't exactly a ghost hunting legacy herself, so that parallel was starting to feel like a dead end altogether. If anyone in this town had hunting as a family business, it was—

Rose and Jake's star-crossed lover thing...

Valerie cursed again, not-so-under her breath this time.

Yeah, Phantom was right that Danny Fenton's stupid cute face would be 'familiar'.

Phantom was also right that she was going to kill him.

-

Danny flew hard and fast, making four laps around the perimeter of Amity Park, trying to clear his head with the biting wind.

The more he sobered up, the more he wished he could go hide in the Ghost Zone indefinitely.

Valerie was waiting on Ops Center's catwalk.

Like a coward, he touched down and transformed around the corner before walking up to her, sneakers clanging across the metal walkway. No point in trying for stealth.

"You're dead." she said, not even looking at him.

Crap. "Debatable."

"You're going to be dead. I will make you dead."

"Can't argue there."

"I'll go easy on you if you tell me one thing."

"Uh. Okay?"

"You don't have a catchphrase, do you? Please tell me I didn't almost date a kid who shouted 'Ghost up!' or something."

Danny winced. "Yeah, about that..."

[oh-holy-slut]

Bloodlust

Pairing: Damon Salvatore x fem!reader

Warnings: smut, explicit language, blood sharing, mentions of death, oral sex

Word Count: 2,6k

Summary: Stefan forced Damon to try his animal diet. Damon hated it, but didn't had a choice... until Reader makes a suggestion. Suddenly things get steamy.

Being with Damon was complicated. Him and Y/N have seen each other a lot in the past weeks. The two of them had a lot of fun; saw a lot of movies. Actually, Y/N was sure Damon secretly hated many of those. However, anytime Y/N suggested another dramatic, romantic cliché movie like "Last Song" - the vampire groaned, put his arm around her shoulder, let her head rest on his chest and endured every single second of the movie of her choice.

Damon even flirted and teased Y/N here and there, but didn't lead to anything more intimate so far.

Today was another of those days. Y/N stuck around at the Salvatore boarding house, brought a few of Damon's favorite groceries and a bunch of movies, of which she thought that they will suit his taste. Even if they were a little to bloody and brutal in her opinion.

"Pick one!", she demanded, holding all three Blu-ray sleeves in front of him. Damon just shrugged, not bothering to even look.

"Don't be a killjoy, Damon Salvatore!" Y/N sighed.

"Tell me what's wrong or pick a movie. You've got no choice. And besides that... Which number of drink is this?" Y/N frowned, pointing at the liquor in her friends hand. Damon usually consumed his beloved bourbon with pleasure.

But the man on the couch didn't seem pleasured at all. His facial features totally hardened and a look in his eyes like he was ready to rip someone's heart out.

You put the disc's back in your handbag, closing the zipper and put the bag on the floor.

"Fine. No movie night today. Who are we going to kill?"

A small smirk appeared on Damon's lips, finally looking towards Y/N.

"Stefan and his hero hair. He made me go vegetarian... well, for a vampire... and I can't get myself to eat one of those chipmunks, bunnies or bambis." He shook himself with disgust.

"And why did he count you in? You clearly aren't excited about the changing... So, why did you agree?"

"He said, he would kill me, which is kinda funny. But-" Damon made a wide gesture "he stole my daylight ring. And he wouldn't give it back until I stop feeding on innocent people - and kill them."

"So, you truly let your younger brother blackmail you like that?! Wow... I don't know how to feel about your dieting or your new path. Or whatever this is supposed to be."

"You don't like me killing people either", Damon maintained, while taking another sip of bourbon.

"Well, I don't", Y/N agreed, took a step forward, stole the glass from the vampires hand and put it on a small table nearby. "But I don't believe in forcing as a method to get people to change their minds. I believe that change for the better must be an intrinsic motivation," she added quickly, giving the vampire an innocent smile.

Damon's lineaments suddenly turned from annoyed to curious. "Any suggestions, little one?" The vampire raised an eyebrow and a little smirk showed up on his lips. On the one hand, Y/N blushed over the nickname, Damon called her.  On the other hand she felt skittish looking forward to making a deal with him. Not only a deal. It's far more than a simple agreement.

It's Y/N, actually giving Damon a part of her. The red elixir of life. She was about to give him total control of her body and she not even for a heartbeat doubt that Damon will use it against her.

"Actually... Yeah. There's something on my mind." Y/N said chewing on your lip. "I could open up a vein for you. I mean, you could feed on me. And since you have my permission, there's nothing for anybody to have objection about."

Damon frowned and gave her an incredulous look. "You would do that for me?" The vampire couldn't believe, he understood correctly. Why would Y/N want to get involved with him feeding on her? What's in it for her? Damon tried hard to connect the dots, but he wasn't able to. It all seemed to make no sense. Y/N wouldn't have an advantage of that. The vampire hesitated, pinning his dangerously blue eyes on the girl in front of him.

"Is it so suspicious of me, that I'm trying to help my closest friend?" It pierced Y/N's heart, realizing, Damon's trust in her was rather fragile. "Never mind", she waved the pain away and forced herself to keep her composure. "I only had a hasty idea; you really don't need to fee-"

Suddenly Damon appeared behind Y/N, using his vampirism. "Shhhh", he whispered softly. "I never said, that I don't want your blood. I'm thinking about if we are going to cross a line? Blood sharing can be very personal..."

"It can be? It is personal already. Believe it or not - I'm not gonna offer my veins to all the vampires of Mystic Falls." Y/N rolled her eyes, her arms folded on her chest to point out the indignation she felt right now.

"Kinda sensitive today, huh?" Damon gently stroke a strand of hair behind her ear, Y/N could hear this smug smirk through his words. It was a true 'Damon thing' to do. "I didn't mean it like that, princess." He sighed; unsure if he should agree or not. Damon didn't want to act selfish towards Y/N. He compelled a lot of girls for the purpose of drinking blood in the past. He literally used them as long as they weren't too annoying - and then he acted like they have never met. Damon Salvatore couldn't imagine this scenario with Y/N. They've been so close, the vampire couldn't stand loosing her. The offer was risky, but it also could bring each other even closer.

Damon tried hard to avoid any serious attraction between Y/N and him, afraid of messing up. Indeed, he found himself thinking, and even dreaming, about Y/N more than he wanted to admit. She was smart and had this special sense of humor, the vampire adored so much. She was the only one, who could make him feel good no matter what. Needless to say she had that glimmer in her eyes, when she did something she truly loved. In these moments she was even more pretty. Y/N was hard to resist.

And maybe now he could have her like nobody else. At least the vampire gave in. He wanted her blood. He wanted her.

Y/N flinched by the feeling of Damon brushing her neck with his lips.  "Oh, Damon", she gasped. "Bite me." Y/N almost begged for the vampire's teeth breaking through her skin. Damon loved the sound of her husky voice. In less than a heartbeat he turned into his vampire shape. "If you insist", he grinned devilishly, ready to place his teeth on to her skin.

Suddenly Y/N made a slight move forward with the intention to interrupt her friend. "Did you change your mind?" Damon was close to switching back to human, overwhelmed by a mix of emotions. Mostly a lack of understanding, but also a little of disappointment and even anger. Was Y/N playing games on him? While Damon Salvatore was sorting feelings, Y/N turned around, standing now in front of him.

She was so close, not even a piece of paper would fit between them.

Y/N slightly exhaled breath, her eyes darting between the vampires eyes and lips. It was the first time Y/N saw him like this. The icy blue of his eyes, she loved so much, has turned darker. Purple veins appeared under his eyes; Y/N couldn't help herself. Damon's appearance fully intoxicated every fibre of her being. Her fingertips found their way gently brushing over his dark purple veins. She felt heat and softness, while tracing one of them.  It took her a few seconds to get out of trance, realizing what she had done. "Sorry", she murmured with a voice barely audible. "Don't apologize, little one." Damon tilted his head, his lips curled up in a self-assured grin, exposing a perfectly white vampire fang. "I never saw you like this before, you loo-"

"... look like a monster?"

Y/N shook her head. It was nothing like that. Yes, he did look unfamiliar. And she should be scared under normal conditions. Instead, his look hit her in an unexpected way. He looked hotter as a vampire, if it was even possible. 

Y/N cleared her throat, looking up at Damon. "I feel... attracted to you."

"So nothing's changed", Damon teased, raising his eyebrows. The girl in front of him softly slapped him on his shoulder; which was only possible because the vampire permitted. "You are always so full of yourself." She smirked, feeling more confident being to something, they have had been so many times before. Granted, he was terrifying accurate, but she wouldn't serve her feelings on a silver platter.

"I'm still into it. You can bite me; feed on me. I only needed to see you before..." 

A shockwave of electricity flowed through her body the second Damon took her hand and pulled her close.

"I'll be careful", he promised, nuzzling his head into the nap of her neck. Damon once again placed his lips on her soft skin. 

Suddenly a harsh pain made Y/N feel like in a kind of haze. She flinched and let out a groan at the same time, unintentionally biting her lower lip. 

During Damon embedded his fang deeper and deeper, she started feeling dizzy. Her hands searched for the vampires upper body, finally wrapped around his neck. She needed him to lean on. A narrow trickle of blood flowed down her neck. Let Damon feed on her felt like flames licking up every fiber of her body. 

With every passing second Y/N could feel her control slip away. Her body was now firmly pressed against Damon's, like she would want to merge them into one.

Damon noticed her staggering, wrapped his arms around her waist, supporting her.

Bloodlust already messed up the vampires mind, so he continued feeding on Y/N.

A tempting moan escaped her lips, but she didn't care to cover up. Y/N's heart was racing, her eyes flattering. It was almost as if he was about to push her over the edge, but in a different way. "Mmm, this...this… feels soo weird... and so good...", she whispered under a shallow breath.

As soon as Damon heard her fading voice, he abruptly

quitted drinking from her.

"Fuck!" He rapidly laid her on his lap and checked Y/N's vital signs, to make sure she was okay. Instinctively he bit his wrist, pressed it against Y/N's mouth. He knew his blood would heal her, but it wasn't going fast enough. A few seconds passed through, to him they felt like centuries. Y/N finally blinked and Damon was relieved. He cupped her cheeks, his gaze never leaving hers. "I thought, I'd gone-" Damon cleaned his throat. "I'm so glad, you are doing well", he whispered, while trailing her lips with his fingertips. "So, fuckin' glad..." The vampire exhaled a deep breath. 

"It... You made me feel good. Strange, but good", Y/N appeased and flushed over the memory. "Maybe you got a little carried away, but I don't mind. I wouldn't trade the feeling for anything."

Y/N quickly interrupted herself, before she could reveal too much.

However, Damon used his vampire skills, noticing that Y/N was hiding something from him. "Isn't there anything else you want me to know?", Damon asked without taking his eyes off her. Y/N shifted and flushed even more. "It's unfair. You use your vampirism to get everything out of me."

"Well, if that were the case, I could easily compel you." Damon shrugged and found back to his smugly self. "Tell me, what you are hiding". He said in a seductive voice.

"I wanted to get lost in you."

Her confession sent shivers all over the vampires body. At first he could not decide, how to handle this. "Are you sure that's what you want? I could really hurt you..." Y/N hummed.

In the next split second, Damon pinned Y/N against a wall, smashing his lips on hers, kissing her with all the passion he had to give. The vampire devoured Y/N with a new kind of hunger. He didn't know he could crave someone so much.

"Fuck me, Damon..."

The vampire felt him getting hard, only by hearing those little three words out of her mouth.

"Say it louder. Tell me, what you want me to do."

Y/N pulled him closer, gently biting his earlobe.

"Fuck... me, Damon." It took her a second to focus and forming the words again. After she was near to climax earlier, it wasn't a long way getting to the edge once more. "Make me cum... You almost had me there..."

A deep moan got over the vampires lips, once he understood, what Y/N was trying to tell him.

With the next blink Y/N found herself in Damon's bedroom, lying on his bed.

From now on there weren't many words needed. Damon's hand's found their way under her shirt, cupping her breasts and make her moan over and over again.

He closely listened to the rhythm of her heart, making sure he would be able to delay her climax to the point he needed her to.

"Don't cum yet... I want to taste your little pussy first."

Y/N grabbed the vampires head, running her fingers through his dark hair - pushing him down, since she was unable to form a single word.

As Damon got down, he didn't take his eyes off Y/N.

He used a hand pushing up her skirt and lightly stroking over her panties with his fingertips.

"My girl is so wet", he praised in a low husky voice."-and I barely touched you."

His dirty words in combination with his touch lead to another moan, almost turned into a scream.

Damon pushed the fabric aside, leaving sloppy kisses on the inside of her thighs.

Y/N's eyes fluttered, when his soft lips reached her middle.

Damon's tongue licking around her entrance was driving her nuts.

"...so delicious..." were the only words she was able to catch up. Damon knew, he couldn't thrill her forever, so he got back to her. He spit on his palms, stroking his hand over his crotch. In under a second Y/N finally felt this releasing pressure of his cock. It was like a switch went off in her brain and she braced herself for the hard thrusts that would follow.

Damon dimmed the whining noises Y/N made with a passionate, hungry kiss.

He cheated with his vampirism to give it to her deeper and faster, knocking out all the air of her lungs while Y/N screamed out Damon's name. Her walls clenched around him and made him twitch. It was like her pussy massaged his dick the best way possible.

Every time he hit her harder and rougher he was making sure he hit her spot with every thrust.

Damon gathered speed one last time and pushed her over the edge until she was a moaning whimpering mess.

With her last contraction around his shaft, Damon was cumming inside her.

"You are so tight, little one", he whispered under his breath. "We should make arrangements more often."

Please like or/and reblog if you enjoyed reading or/and want me to write more stories about Damon.

Thanks guys ❤️

[peakyblindersxx]

whiskey buisness - john shelby x reader (part 5 of ?)

gif by my literal angel @michaelgreys who keeps blessing us like holy fuck

a/n: all i can say is that this is the hottest one yet. as always, my girl @stxdyblr-2k did an amazing job so i hope you all enjoy :) and i'm still working on requests, tysm for all of them!!

love, abi xxx

read part one two three four | my masterlist

tagging: @datewithgianni, @mayaslifeinabox, @deepdonutkid, @springsoulofengland

prompt: john just can't help himself when he sees you with someone else.

warnings: nsfw!!! smut, fluff, angst, light praise kink, john fucking adores you and spends a good amount of time with his head between your legs (yes i know!!!!!)

John had spotted you from across the London nightclub, his table tucked into the balcony area, perfectly positioned to survey the entire club. It'd been over a month since he laid eyes on you last. Sometimes, he wondered if it was possible for you to only get more beautiful every time he saw you. He wasn't surprised, as he'd been warned of your presence by Tommy, but he was unable to stop himself from staring at you, hair neatly styled, scarlet velvet dress clinging to every curve, red lipstick emphasizing your lips, a light haze of pink pressed into your cheekbones, lash-line expertly darkened with kohl. You were dancing with one of Isaiah's friends; the young man was tall and muscular -- a blinder foot soldier, John concluded, draining his glass of whiskey, flagging the waiter down for another.

The young lad was smiling down at you. John took a swig from his drink bitterly, the man obviously head over heels, his eyes bright, excitedly glancing from your lips to your figure. John could feel himself cringe; the younger man had all the subtlety and strategy of a malnourished dog. Then again, who could blame the lad? You were an absolute vision, twirling and giggling, off your face on something Michael had brought. John couldn't help but watch, wishing it was him who had caught your attention tonight, wanting to feel your breath fan across his neck, pulling away while you giggled at his blushing arousal; him whisking you to dark corners to steal a moment of quiet.

He'd tried to get over you but he couldn't. He'd been travelling a lot lately, business in Liverpool, Edinburgh and Belfast; yet in every woman who smiled at him, he found himself searching for you in their eyes, their smiles, their laugh. They were all gorgeous, but his heart simply wasn't in it.

Tonight had started off alright, normal Peaky activity. They'd seized the club only a few hours ago, gaining vital territory in London, bagging their place in the opiate trade and a successful business prospect in one fell swoop. By all accounts, John should’ve been happy, but he'd been too lost in his own mind lately to properly take in the consequences of those sleepless nights with the accounting books, all the hours practicing shooting and boxing, all the endless driving, the meetings, the lingering stench of death which clung to his family. Try as he might, he couldn't enjoy himself. His night got worse the second he spotted you; a yearning for you suddenly flooding his veins. It was easy to get on with life when you were hundreds of miles from him, but when you were a flight of stairs away? He knew the club had countless dark passages to hide away with you, multiple cloak rooms with thick brick walls to take you against: he had to stop his mind running wild. He couldn't. That had to be the last time. You were in his past, you had to stay there. But as he watched you dance with the blinder, he could feel the familiar burn of jealousy swell deep within him. The lad was far too close to you for his comfort, practically grazing his hips to yours. John roughly rubbed his jaw at the sight, silently seething to himself in the shadows.

Thomas studied his brother's body language, taking a slow drag of his cigarette, not understanding the fuss around you. Sure, you were pretty enough; you were bright, apparently funny, but you had never caught his attention really. He observed how John's eyes followed your every move, every sway of your hips closely watched as he held his breath, losing himself to you. He was glad he'd prompted Michael to invite you; this was the most attentive he'd seen John in a month. It was no coincidence that he'd dragged you away from Birmingham, from the watching eyes of the city locals, the wagging tongues in the assembly lines, far from Ada. Michael had admitted to Thomas that it was easy to persuade you, promising you a lift in his new car and a night out as Ada had plans with a gentleman. A night of dancing with your favourite lads and an all expenses paid trip to London? You couldn't resist.

John's jaw had tensed and squared, the man murmuring something against your neck causing you to giggle and grasp his collar. Thomas could tell his brother was practically bristling with jealousy. If looks could kill, the young man clinging to your hips would be long dead from the glare unleashed on him by the tallest Shelby brother.

"You gonna sit there useless or are you gonna fucking do something about it, eh?" Tommy inquired, nudging him with his shoulder.

"I can't."

"No one will know." Thomas pointed out, raising a brow, "The Blinders will say fuck all if they see owt. They keep quiet when it's about us Shelby brothers, yeah?"

John glanced at him, eyes slightly widened, confusion furrowing his brows. "You've changed your fuckin' tune."

"Sometimes, it's good to have secrets. What Ada doesn't know about the events of tonight won't hurt her."

"We don't do secrets. We're meant to trust each other." John objected. "We're a family."

"Nothing will change, John. I'll fix it for you, yeah? You've had a rough few weeks, you should reward yourself."

"She's not a fuckin’ prize, Tom."

"Keep talking that shit and people will get the wrong idea, think you love the woman or sommet." Thomas shrugged, taking a sip of his drink, while John's cheeks flared, his eyes flinching to the floor. He smirks to himself. "You going to go get your lass, then?"

John replied wordlessly, standing and downing the rest of his drink, pulling on his suit jacket, straightening his collar. "I'll catch you later, Tom."

********

The lad was nice, his name had long disappeared into the fog of liquor and Tokyo. He was someone's cousin, but he was polite; charming, almost. Most importantly, he wasn't related to your best friend. Not quite a Casanova type like John, but you two were a good match, everyone thought so. You'd seen him a few times now over the past week. He wasn't much of a talker, but he was a good dancer, and sweet after a few pints.

The band started playing a slower song, Isaiah dancing chest to chest with a beautiful girl across from you. You felt your partner place his fingers on the small of your back, his fingers inching lower, pulling you in closer before the two of you were interrupted by a dark figure looming over you.

"Can I cut in, mate?" A strong Birmingham accent sliced through the air, voice low and polite enough, but with a tone that was laced with venom. "Or are you gonna be a dick about it?"

The lad glanced nervously between you two, moving his hands away from you, embarrassed to be caught by his boss in this state, John staring him down. You slowly pulled away from him, turning to face John.

"Or you could ask me to dance yourself, John?"

John silently glared back at you, his mouth tensed into a thin line. He looked momentarily embarrassed, his attention switching back to your dance partner, the rest of lads silently watching, breaths baited, ready to jump in on the action if the moment required it.

"I'm heading off mate, reckon she's a cocktease." Your partner comments, attempting to diffuse the tension, stepping away, not wanting a fight or to piss off his boss. His path was quickly blocked by another blinder. You shot him an apologetic look and took the large hand John was offering you.

"Or, she's just not interested in you," John quipped, smirking, locking his fingers through yours. "You gonna go get your coat while I finish up with your best mate?"

"Thought we were dancing?"

"You can dance as much as you like in the suite, yeah? Proper gramophone. You coming?"

"You just want me on my own."

"Just tired of the distractions." He told you pointedly, skimming his glare over the group of men, standing with baited breath, preparing for it to kick off.

You rolled your eyes but squeezed his hands, slowly heading to the cloakroom, chatting with the attendant as you watched John confront the lad, keeping your distance. His arms were clutching the lad's lapels, snarling in his face before pushing him back. Michael watched from a few steps away, smoking absentmindedly, spine pressed to a pillar, leaving his cousin to sort out whatever offense he believed the man had caused.

You bundled yourself up in your thin coat, a gift from one of the girls you hung around with as she had recently married a blinder and was being spoiled rotten. The coat's flimsy material was going to be useless against the London night. At least you could count on John to keep you warm on the walk back to the hotel. You headed towards the side door, John's hand quickly finding your lower back protectively as he fell into step beside you. He opened the heavy wooden doors for you, the cold air an instant relief from the heat of the nightclub. You turned back as the door closed, catching a glimpse of the boys closing in on the lad, their eyes gleaming with a violent hunger for action.

"He'll be alright. Daft prick just getting put in his place." John said flatly. He seemed bored but watched you anxiously, begging you with his eyes to drop the subject.

"Is the hotel close by?" You asked casually, as the frigid air swirled around your calves, instantly causing you to shiver.

"I'll get us a cab, love, can't have you in those heels trekking halfway across London town." He stepped fearlessly into the road, unbothered about any potential danger or just forgetful from the whiskey. Quickly, a dark cab pulled up to the cobblestone pavement and John helped you in, taking off his coat and wrapping it around your shoulders before climbing in after you.

As the engine started and the car made its way through London's dimly lit streets to Camden, John's hand found its way to your thigh. You glanced at him, his eyes looking away but his thumb angled against his teeth. He was nervous, having not touched you in a month. You crossed your legs, angling them towards him, his hand shifting higher up your thighs, taking a deep sigh of relief. Your hands found his chin in the gloom of the back of the car, only the occasional bright lights from a nightlife hub or the demure lights of a residential illuminating his face, the angles changing as the cab drove on. It was too much. You'd been needing this for the past month, needing him. Your hands laced around the back of his head and you pressed your lips to his for a brief moment, allowing John to pull you deeper into the kiss. It awoke something familiar inside you, something comforting. Kissing John erased all your homesickness. Christ, you had to stop thinking like this.

"You've not been about for a bit, sweetheart. I know we said never again, but I was hoping you'd come by," John muttered, forehead pressed to yours, breath mingling with yours as he spoke.

"I almost did. The amount of times I nearly visited your office.. I just couldn't do that to you or Ada. Besides, last I heard, you were on tour." You admitted, keeping your voice down to save the cab driver the embarrassment. John caressed your cheekbone with his thumb, tracing the corner of your mouth, prompting a grin from you.

"Last place on earth I'd expected to see you next, it's been hectic my end," He sighed. His eyes were outlined with deep purple smudges of exhaustion, yet he was still devastatingly beautiful even after all the sleepless nights. "It's been too long."

"Not my fault you've been hiding yourself away. You should've called."

"Blame Tommy for that. His solution seems to be sending me on business trips. Trying to make me too tired to handle you." A nervous lick of his lips revealed John’s response to the suggestion that he call you. He wanted to say he would ring next time, but there couldn't be a next time.

"You can barely handle me on a good day, Mr. Shelby."

"Can't blame me. You seen yourself? On the brink as soon as I see you, lass." He teased, earning a gentle shove to the shoulder as you quickly pressed a kiss underneath his chin. You wanted to bring up Thomas' threat, but you bit your tongue, nudging his shin with the toe of your heel in the back of the cab. He rolled his eyes, grabbing your wrists lightly. "Behave yourself in front of the nice cabbie, sweetheart."

You soften at his touch, unable to resist reaching to interlock your fingers, squeezing his hands in yours affectionately. The spirits your table had been bringing you all night definitely boosted your confidence, any hesitancy due to potential rejection drowned out. John pressed his lips to your knuckles in response. He seemed different tonight, far more protective and serious than usual. He was so quiet it was strange, usually yapping your ear off, desperate for you to react, treating him to a giggle, a middle finger or a cutting response. You'd also never witnessed him spark off due to someone's interaction with you. Finn had mentioned a week or so back that John had a shouting match with Thomas and in the moment, your name got thrown up in the conversation, resulting in John taking a swing at his big brother out of frustration. It was confusing. He was willing to start fights over you, punch his brother, yet when you two were alone he was uncomfortably quiet, studying you, lost in his thoughts. His silence only made your body long for him, his fingers tracing patterns in your inner thigh. You let out a small whimper into the crook of his neck, as he instinctively pressed a kiss to your shoulder.

The car pulled up outside the hotel, your pulse racing, the anticipation already threatening to make you give in completely to his wishes tonight. You waited as he turned up his collar against the rain, clambering out of the car to open your door, creatively arranging the coat to hover just above both your heads protecting you from the miserable weather. Although John had referred to the building as a hotel, you could instantly tell the manor was some aristocrat's third or fourth home, obviously being rented out or gifted to business partners for trips. It was an imposing grey stone building, exquisitely carved, although not a country estate, the house was just as large. Was John used to this? It hit you all of a sudden that you'd never set foot inside John's home. You'd heard from Ada that it was overrun with hoards of screaming children. She often joked with the children at the Shelby Institute that if they hung around long enough at John's, he'd assume they were one of his offspring. You'd only ever fucked him in a guest bed. The shame made your stomach churn.

You needed to remind yourself of this when your late night thoughts ran rampant. John could say what he liked, but he'd never actually allow you to get overly personal with him. Whatever confusing mess was winding around your skull regarding him was useless; it was best not to think about it. You went to him every time, yet he would've picked another lass tonight, it was just that you were there. He probably had a string of gorgeous women, older, more accomplished, more experienced, more elegant. He could tell you he missed you, but you could never take for granted that he told you this for any other reason than as a prelude to get you in bed with him. You were his gorgeous mess, but only for the night. It was best to remind yourself to care less than he did. It was the easiest solution in the long term; this way, the downfall would be less brutal.

"You alright, love?" He asked suddenly, breaking your train of thought.

"Sorry, I was thinking about work."

He lived around his brothers for long enough, he could smell bullshit. He decided to let it go. It was best to not push it tonight. Just keep it light hearted, easy, like it was always meant to be.

"If your boss keeps being a prick, you tell Ada. She'll sort him out."

"Don't I know it? He can barely open the door before she starts on about workplace ethics." You joked, earning a small smile instead of his usual bright chuckle. "John, what are we doing here?"

"Well I'm about to take you upstairs and sort you out, yeah? You gonna let me look after you?" He asked, stopping you in your tracks by turning you into him, grabbing your wrist.

"You know that isn't what I meant."

"I know. But can we leave it tonight? Can we just have fun?" He questioned, lips ghosting over yours, fixing you with an intense stare.

"It's fun anymore." Your voice cracked, the liquor in your system making it impossible to control your tone or your facial expressions. "It's fucking with my head, John."

"It's just.. fucking difficult. It's fucking difficult because of who we are." He replied firmly but dropped his makeshift coat shelter around your shoulders, freeing his hands to grab your face pulling it to his, the alcohol making him far needier than he usually appeared. "You, my beautiful Y/N, are a fucking losing game. It's not as easy for me, I can't just dance with a woman and get a leg over-"

"I never said you couldn't."

"I know, I.." He gestured vaguely, lifting one of his hands off your cheeks, and you can feel your head nodding in understanding. "You know, I thought I was going to manage it this time. That I wouldn't be a total fuck up, but then you and that lad-"

"Catch you getting jealous over me."

"Fuck off." He let go of you for a split second but you reeled him back in, resting your palms on the chest of his shirt, the soaked material sticking to his skin. You'd struck a nerve. You decided to push him further.

"I don't know what you're trying to do, Mr. Shelby, disappearing across the country for weeks then coming back and telling me you want me all to yourself?" You played with his collar, tugging his face to yours before pulling back at the last possible second, causing him to let out a frustrated groan, hands itching to feel you underneath them.

"Don't fucking wind me up," He snapped, the intensity between you rekindled momentarily.

"It's worked wonders in the past," You replied, barely able to finish your sentence before his mouth was on yours, his fingers tangling into your hair, kissing you properly. Although you'd kissed so many times prior, this one felt so genuine, as though unleashed from its restraints deep within John. You'd never kissed anyone in the rain before in the middle of the night, and it felt magical. You were shivering but hot all over, burning for John to do something, anything. You could feel his cock through his dress pants, hard against you, prompting you to moan into his mouth.

"Fuck’s sake, Y/N," John grunted into your ear, his hands grabbing at your arse. "You're fuckin’ killing me here. I need you, yeah?"

"Tell me how badly." You responded coyly, linking your arms around his neck, ignoring the late night drizzle.

"I'd rather show you. M’gonna take care of you tonight, make up for the month I've been gone."

"Who's saying I've not been taking care of myself?'

He bit his lip in frustration, trying to stop his mind running wild with the image of you in bed, fingers between your thighs, breasts moving as you arched your back, hips lifting off the mattress, moaning as you called his name -- his jaw clenched. "I know what you're doing. You coming up before you catch a chill?"

You shifted your weight away from him, as if considering your options. He knew your answer; you both knew in a few minutes you'd be upstairs practically tearing his shirt off, needing his skin against yours, begging for him. John pulled away from you, dragging you up the winding path to the front door of the manor, opening the door for you, arm wrapping around your waist. His lips met yours, then your collarbones and neck, prompting a breathy giggle and whine as you wound yourself back around him, craving the contact. The manor was plunged in darkness, staff somewhere in the gloom. Your arrival had definitely been noted, but as with everyone who worked for the Shelbys, they just left you to it. It was easier to not get involved, to keep their heads down and not mention the midnight trysts the brothers got up to.

John knew his path, he'd stayed here before. Even in the dark you could tell the house was decorated to spare no expense, the gaudy paintings and sculptures casting strange shadows. He led you up the grand flight of stairs, then another.

"Worse than Thomas' estate, this place." You murmured quietly, unsure of other guests within earshot.

"I could never live like this. I'd never see my brood again. Getting them ready for bed would be one hell of a nightmare." He whispered back, halting your stride by pulling your hips to his, unable to wait any longer.

"John, what if we get caught?" You asked, pressing your hand against his chest with your palm flat.

"Never bothered you before. Thought you liked the fact that anyone could just walk in and see what a pretty little mess you’ve made for me."

You couldn’t help yourself from pressing an affectionate kiss to his mouth, letting him lay you down and pin you to the stairs, the luxuriously thick carpets scraping into your flesh. He cursed under his breath at the sight of you underneath him, pushing your dress up your thighs, lifting your legs to wrap around his neck, pressing a kiss to your flimsy underwear, glancing up to drink you in. The most beautiful woman in his city, begging for him, figure swamped by his coat, rain soaked and shivering, his mouth between her thighs. He ran his tongue slowly across your clothed core, your pleading moans music to his ears, loving how your thighs tightened around his neck. His tongue traced circles over your clit and labia, the friction generated by the lace of your panties pushing you further, your hands knotting into his hair, spine arching against his mouth.

"No one been looking after you while I was gone. eh?" He asked, pressing kisses to your inner thigh, tugging your panties to the side. "What about your dancing pal?"

"Fuck’s sake, I barely know him, John." You snapped back, teetering on the edge between lust and frustration from his relentless teasing.

"Keep it that way. You don't need ‘im, lass, not while I'm about." He replies before lapping at your slit, interpreting your moans as approval as your head slumped back and you released a low groan. "Y/N, watch me, yeah?"

You pull yourself weakly upwards, propping yourself up in your elbows to be able to look down the staircase at John between your legs in the dark. The view was thrilling, moonlight shining in through the rain on the window, illuminating his face, hair messy and tongue flickering across your clit while he stared up at you, his eyes darkened with lust. You couldn't help but pant, knowing you'd be returning to this moment alone at night, when it was your fingers instead of John's tongue pushing you towards the edge.

"So fuckin' wet and ready for me, aren’t you?" He crooned, sliding his fingers into you, sucking at your clit between flicks of his tongue.

You couldn’t find the words to respond, whimpers leaving your mouth instead, your hips lifting beneath his palms, chest heaving.

"Go on, use your words, clever lass."

"John, fuck.. don't stop," You manage to string together, thoughts too muddled by alcohol and arousal to play hard to get any longer.

"I won't ‘til you cum in my mouth. Need to taste you again, beautiful."

Your head jerked back suddenly as John curled his fingers inside you, pushing up against the spot that made you lose your mind, his name falling from your lips like a prayer, all he could hear except from his blood rushing in his head. Your desperate cries for relief caused his cock to strain against his dress pants, fighting the urge to sort himself out, needing to finish you off. John needed to prove that he could fuck you better than anyone else. He knew he was pushing you to the edge, but he wasn't going to deny you your orgasm. He wanted to make a point with this. His fingers worked faster, his mouth hungry for you, lips moving against your core at a harsh pace.

You groaned loudly, hips bucking involuntarily just to be forced back against the carpet of the staircase. Your breaths grew heavier, warning him how close you were to your peak. John refused to let up, pushing you closer every second, lips latched to your core firmly, lapping up the wetness he'd produced.

"I want to watch you finish." He commanded, you completely at his will now that you'd lost control, lifting your head upwards with the little strength you had left to be able to stare down at his dilated blue eyes. "Good girl. You gonna show me how good I make you feel? You gonna cum for me, doll?"

You couldn't respond, unable to keep your eyes from rolling backwards as you felt yourself suddenly release, John’s name escaping from between your lips, legs shuddering around his neck. He let you ride it out on his tongue, tasting you desperately, watching your expression slowly relax.

Finally, he pulled away from your cunt, unwrapping your legs from his neck. He grabbed your wrist, not letting you retrieve your panties, stuffing them into his trouser pocket. He returned his attention to tracing your slit with the index finger and thumb of his other hand, as he pressed a long kiss to your lips.

"I love how you taste," He murmured against your lips, causing you to flush slightly. John noticed, pressing kisses to your jawbone. "Don't get shy on me now. I've barely started with you. Not even got you to the suite and you've already cum."

He looked so proud of himself, it suddenly clicked for you. He was trying to prove himself to you, for some unknown reason. You know he was protective and quite obviously jealous tonight, but you couldn't believe that John Shelby felt the need to prove that he knew what he was doing, as though you weren't aware. You weren't trekking to his office for mediocre sex. Tonight he let you finish first, no teasing, no denial, no fucking about. Just putting his ability fully on show, so when your mind went drifting it'd go back to him, not some young lad who barely knew what he was doing. His cocky attitude and smug acceptance of his sexual prowess would've been off-putting if it was anyone else, but John, but with his bright smile and constant humour, pulled it off. It was enticing, making your core pool with wetness when he crossed your mind.

"A month is far too long, Mr. Shelby."

"I know, you're practically drooling over me." He teased. He seems a lot more himself than before. He’d been too caught up in his head, too focused on getting you off to enjoy the flirting and teasing. John loved how light-hearted he could be with you. Despite the mess you were both in, it was making you laugh or roll your eyes that soothed his mind. Honestly, if it was just sex he'd have cut you off instantly; he wouldn't have even gone there out of loyalty to Ada. Admittedly, it was your company and presence that had him absolutely on his knees for you, the way he felt understood, less alone in his brother's bullshit, less trapped by his criminal career because you understood. You always had a cutting line, a bright smile just for him, an eye roll at his brothers' daft plans, a choice curse word for Thomas. He didn't even want to consider what would happen after the night ended. He stood, pressing another kiss to your lips as he helped you to your feet, fixing his coat which hung off your shoulders.

"You ready for rounds two through to six?"

"John, you know you won't get through three with me."

"You’re right, you're just too pretty when you’re riding my cock." He teased, the vulgar material of his jibe earning him a joking shove before you curl into his side, letting him escort you up the stairs to the nearest bedroom. He quickly shut the door behind you, scooping you up in his arms, causing you to let out a laugh as he practically tossed you onto the king sized bed, eyes shining with adoration as he looked down at you grinning back up at him.

“You’re something else, John Shelby.”

[trickfootpike]

OKAYOKAYOKAY now that i've had a few nights to Ruminate here are way too many thoughts from 9/16's show -- fair warning that they aren't *super* coherent as a lot of this i just tried to loosely organize from dms i threw at folks night-of, but it is most of what i remember sticking out to me!

GENERAL THOUGHTS --

last saw the show in august of 2019 - back then i saw it up in the mezzanine, this time i was 7 rows back dead center in the middle of the orchestra. watching the show from the mezzanine feels like a god's eye view of the show while sitting up close in the orchestra is much more like being in the world of men, and how it hits in hadestown particularly is just nuts bc you really do feel like you're on the factory floor.

back in the London production i remember eva playing eurydice with more youth and hope to her, and when the show came to Broadway eurydice hardened. in a world with a pandemic eva seems to have actually shifted this back! Eurydice is still holding tightly onto Orpheus Knowing that the world is unlikely to be kind enough to let them have each other for long but she starts off less faithless than she used to, I suppose I would describe it? she's definitely played more open with others from the beginning rather than having it be something she has to really work towards!

WAIT FOR ME IS A TOTALLY DIFFERENT FEELING FROM THE ORCHESTRA THAN THE MEZZANINE AND NOT JUST THE LAMPS. the lamps really only swing out to over the first 2 rows, speaking very generously, anyway. what i remember being most impactful from last time was how the whole theater rumbled as the walls of the set split to reveal hadestown. what i couldn't see and afaik no boot's been able to pick up is the the set ALSO SPLITS AND STRETCHES OPEN AT THE TOP. that awning that covers the balcony lifts and the wall of hadestown is revealed to stretch floor to ceiling and it is just so much, so fucking much oh my god i could not stop hysterically blubbering to myself watching hadestown stretch open like it is absolutely here to devour you whole. it makes you feel the immensity of The Wall. I've linked ig videos of the set pre act 1 and post intermission to give like the best perspective on it i can and tried to film them so they were zoomed as closely as to what my eyes were seeing as I could, but here are also some pictures!

PRE ACT ONE

INTERMISSION

after our lady of the underground when eurydice comes back from hades' office and Persephone is finishing with her show, me being closer this time i was actually able to see amber's face during way down hadestown ii and flowers. and how she portrays seph's feelings re eurydice, it's like : genuine concern and watching over her when she first starts on the line, Quiet Seething and Jealous Rage as the fates' tattle "Hades put his hands on ya" that sticks for a While including the first half of flowers, but as soon as eurydice remembers the meadow her and Orpheus visited her heart just b r e a k s and you can see her wiping away tears. seph's just so caught in her own feelings of helplessness in hadestown. when hades tells her to stay out of him dealing with Orpheus all the fight just deflates out of her and the direct accusing look Orpheus gives her at the end of if it's true mixed with seeing his effect on the workers makes her physically rear back like she's gotten the fight slapped back into her

even with this audience who almost for sure has all seen ht before, there was still the loudest heartbroken gasp when orpheus turned. i know everyone calls this out but it still hit me hard that with a greater percentage of previous viewers in the audience it still hit us all like a fucking brick

and ofc. road to hell ii. it's a millions times more impactful than it already was what with the pandemic, making it through hard times and how they could be hard again but making the best of them even if it doesn't turn out well this time either. i was crying so hard last time but this time i was crying harder but also feeling like a huge weight was being like, very softly cradled in my chest to take some of the burden away

TOM'S HADES/HADES AND PERSEPHONE SPECIFIC THOUGHTS --

Tom's Hades whole tl;dr could be that Hades is a Performance. all those descriptions of him beign "jazzy" and "egodriven" are correct, but there is also this massive vibe he gives off that all his showmanship is there as a cover up for the very pessimistic man at the core of him. when him and persephone are getting along the jazziness is there for genuine playfulness with her, but apart from seph it is a purposeful exaggeration on hades' part to get Whatever it is that he wants. he is playing up aggression as king (see papers) and what he thinks as being suave (see hey little songbird) to maintain his throne and his marriage, and Epic III is the Destruction of that performance. Tom's Hades at the end of Epic III isn't trying to sell anyone anything, you just get to see the suddenly very scared and unsure heart of the man behind the performance of foreman and king. And oh boy is Tom's Hades at his heart unsure. He is so fucking pessimistic; back in Act 1 when Orpheus starts to sing Epic I he turns from Persephone even before she gets reminded of the world above and starts longing for it, because he already expects to see it coming and he doesn't turn back to her Ever Again, literally until he comes to get her in Way Down Hadestown. Not even when she gives him a kiss on the cheek goodbye. His Kiss, The Riot is him trying to figure out how the hell he's gonna be able to rebuild his performance after his whole kingdom saw through it, but he also ends it being so very certain that the deal he figures out for Orpheus Will end with Orpheus failing somehow. There is no doubt in this very pessimistic Hades that doubt will come in, whereas Patrick used the end of His Kiss The Riot almost like he was desperately trying to justify that his doubt came to him only in Persephone's absence

road to hell i: tom's hades loves cheering on the band so much he is Part Of The Problem that Hermes has to get to chill out and it makes so much sense for this jazzy dramatic motherfucker

balcony time (road to hell i until livin' it up on top): when they were upstairs playing dominoes they kept laying their tiles with these overexaggerated movements.. Like when they actually getting along they are so damn flirty and trying so hard to make each other smile and laugh and it is TOO CUTE

way down hadestown: Once Again "I missed ya" gives me no rest, mostly because Tom delivered it with this super coy and cocky grin and Amber immediately smiled back at him like Persephone couldn't help herself

chant i: is spent with him looking up proud into his creation while persephone is looking down with heartbreak and disgust seeing the workers as people in suffering and the ugliness of hadestown. as the song goes on he gets increasingly frustrated like a child who's super proud of the drawing he brought home from school that Persephone has nothing but terrible things to say about. when eurydice starts singing about her suffering seph throws out her arm and points to her like "see! See what you're doing!!" while hades is more in himself processing his disappointment, frustration, heartbreak, but over the next minute you start to see him Formulating A Plan as he watches eurydice. but he doesn't look entirely sold on going through with it until seph throws out her last verse in disgust. it was absolutely the straw that broke the camel's back.

hey little songbird: THO IT SOUNDS SO SEDUCTIVE ON AUDIO. OML DOES IT LEAN INTO EURYDICE'S "STRANGE MAN" DESCRIPTOR. HADES IS LIKE THE CREEPY SALESMAN ON THE CORNER WITH WATCHES AND A TRENCHCOAT. BUT HE'S SELLING HIS SHIT WELL, HE'S JUST ALSO A WEIRDO

Why We Build The Wall/"Behind Closed Doors": That followup on hades' threat when eurydice arrives in hadestown. as hades goes to the stairs he like not whacks, but definitely nudges seph's arm harder than Patrick does to get her attention. when he did she Startled and laid her hand over her arm where he'd tapped her like she was overwhelmed by just that touch........ but then she turns around and watches him take Eurydice up and when he opens his coat and she Realizes you see her whole body go slack. once eurydice goes past the office doors hades turns and lingers staring pointedly down at seph, for *seconds* whereas with patrick i remember it being more of a pointed glance. it drills home that hades is doing this specifically to spite seph and he wants her to know it. and you can see amber discreetly wipe her face before she turns back to "does anybody want a DRINK." there's less direct seduction between hades and eurydice but more explicit threat between hades and seph about eurydice

papers: actually isn't too much Bastärde as it is his Performance. HOWEVER, the way he directs the workers to beat Orpheus is chilling. Like patrick he hangs around, but he's watching until the last 10 seconds so it's way longer. And he makes like the smallest gestures with his hand to direct the workers to the different stages of beating Orpheus, fuck it was twisted

how long: how long actually starts with seph and hades seemingly coming to each other on a similar page - hades came out pensively fiddling with his wedding ring and Amber delivered "I know" like seph was already past the eurydice situation. this also could have been a product of time and seeing how actually little he did "seducing" eurydice lmao

chant ii: very much Hades Sees Orpheus As A Threat™️ (more on this further below) , also dare i say it but tom kills I CONDUCT THE ELECTRIC CITY

epic iii: oh man oh man. he looks so untouched until Orpheus starts the lalas and he goes from completely passive unimpressed face to like. his body unfolds on his stool and his hands go slack and he looked between Orpheus and Persephone when he asked where Orpheus had gotten his melody. he asked it a lot softer than I expected him too as well. a big part of the audience actually laughed when Hades sang his lala because Tom cracks his voice during it but it petered off into sniffling when they realized why and then we were all just crying together as persephone placed the flower in his vest.

lovers desire: SOME VERY CUTE STUFF. hades' performance is broken but tom's hades is still a Jazzy Jazzy Man at heart and they're like 100 times more playful with each other - they're both giggling and grinning their asses off while they dance together and give each other these like nudges to the next series of steps and it was adorable and I was discretely sobbing. they both played it like they knew how to do this dance with each other better than they knew anything, the little nudges were like..... them playing inside this dance they already knew so well? Like more overexaggeration to make each other laugh and just revel in this wonderful thing they've rediscovered- specifically I remember that Amber raised her skirt soooooo high when she was doing the curtsey and Tom was like waggling his eyebrows at her and adding extra flourishes with his hands and widening his eyes super big everytime he pulled off a move (the funniest ones were when they do like the two-step where they move one after another in sequence and he's copying her moves in reverse and oml it was just adorable). When Seph had the move where she pulls their linked arms over his head to tuck him into her I remember that was the one part where he wasn't doing this goofy act but his expression straight up melted and he looked so smitten. and when it's the last bit of the dance and he spins her across the stage, seph's face breaks open with tears his expression responds with like this mix of heartbreak and "ohhhhh no baby please don't cry" as he moved across the stage to quickly take her into his arms for the dip at the end

AFTER this when orphydice has finished promises and right before Orpheus turns to ask Hades if they can go, they come out of slow dancing to the side but are still super wrapped up in each other - seph wraps herself around one of his arms and presses herself super close and Tom leaned down with this little smile like Hades was gonna try and steal a quick kiss, but then he hears/sees out of the corner of his eye/senses or something Orpheus approaching and pulls himself up and formal to be the king. When he says I don't know and seph wrenches herself away from him to the other side of the stage to firmly stand behind Orphydice he gets this look of Extreme Frustration on that she's still not standing with him and these damn kids are still more important, bc even with character growth he still is a petty selfish bitch who does not like to share lmao, he's just getting that he Has To now

wait for me ii: Hades stays onstage by the microphone stand to the left to watch Hermes deliver his judgement to orphydice/seph/the workers and watching Tom during this was a Treat. this is the first time he's seeing how orphydice and esp Orpheus function when he's not involved to terrify them. they're so sweet and so good, and they have what looks like so much unwavering faith in each other unlike him and seph, maybe they really could... so when he delivers "i let them try" that last word is stretched with so much wonder. he's getting this first glimpse into feeling how everyone else felt when orpheus sang of how the world could be that isn't just focused in about how he feels about persephone, which always drives him - now he's having to deal with the Greater Implications and orpheus' seemingly unbreakable faith in a better world rocks him to his core. that certainty that orpheus would fail gets shaken as he watches them and when Seph asks him if he thinks they'll make it, his I Don't Know is 1/2 defensive and 1/2 actual uncertainty. he still hates to be wrong but he's wondering if his beliefs about doubt will turn out differently this time. he isn't optimistic about it by any means but orpheus, eurydice, and the workers' response to them both does give him pause

meanwhile in hades and persephone's section, on a personal level they deliver their lines to each other like they're a great deal more nervous about what next fall will bring than i've seen and heard before - something I'm thinking stems from hades' worldview being so suddenly shaken and seph too being a little more vulnerable?

MISC THOUGHTS

Tom seems to be leaning into Hades not having done anything with Eurydice other than tempt her down - once she's in Hadestown even during Why We Build The Wall he drops the salesman croon entirely and when he does rarely speak to her/about her it's commanding as a king who sees her just as another object under his possession, with very little interest in her for anything at all beyond that. he was just going after the goal of making sure Seph knew he had Options whether or not he actually pursued them

tom is super dedicated to how power-hungry hades is. I remember when I saw Patrick during chant ii he was playing hades as more affected by how much seph seemed to care about the workers now and desperately trying to get her attention back (even negatively), Tom was more consumed in seeing Orpheus as a threat because of how effectively he had turned his "children" on him. He knocks Seph down in those "shackle her from wrist to wrist" less as a personal petty attack to her like Patrick does and more like to try and destabilize her as someone backing Orpheus up. Tom's Hades perceives Orpheus as a Threat no matter how much he plays up his Performance as Nonchalant Jazzy King. he really emphasizes Hades' relationship to Orpheus whereas Patrick played more into his relationship with Eurydice, which makes so much sense what with Tom's Hades being a pettier more egotistical messy bitch obsessed with his kingdom and Patrick's Hades' obsession being his wife and Hadestown being like, this side-effect of being a god that he just couldn't help, he Had to build and strive for power whereas Tom's Hades reveled in it and wanted it. Instinct versus drive I guess. one of my buds put it super well as: "Patrick!Hades sees everything as a threat to his power Tom!Hades is so certain of his power that he can afford to be somewhat nonchalant but the fact that Orpheus alone is his main genuine threat is fucking brilliant"

and ok for now, that's what I've got! if anyone wants any clarification or wants to ask details about specific moments I didn't put in here feel free to shoot me an ask!

[darkcitiesnluv]

IDOL BEOMGYU X STYLIST READER ( NO RULES Era: comeback show freeze outfits )

Pairing: Beomgyu x Fem Reader

Genre: smut

Warning: 18+, swear words.

You leaned down towards Yeonjun's face, adding a little bit of brown shade on his eye lid. " I told him, " you better stop teasing me on how i rap! Or else I'll kill your freaking bird!" I wasn't really going to kill Toto, i was just trying to scare him, but it seems that idiot doesn't know what fear is so he keeps teasing me! I'm so tired I don't know what to do- oh wow I look good~" Yeonjun said as the short black hair men looked at himself in the mirror. " Noona! You did great!" He said happily giving you a thumbs up. You nodded with a smile and look at the mirror as well.

As you did your eyes met with his......Beomgyu's. He smiled sweetly at you as he was standing there getting his hair fixed by a hair stylist. Since you are wearing a black mask you smiled back. Of course he couldn't see your pretty smile but can tell you are smiling because of your eyes.

His old stylist left and he took the advantage to call you. " Y/n! Noona! I need help!" He yelled, as his usual self. You walked towards him. " What's the problem?.…." You asked as your eyes scan his handsome face for any mess, but you didn't find anything, the other stylist did a good job.

" a little bit of lip gloss please....." He said pointing at his bottom lip and closing his eyes. You rolled your eyes as you knew this men didn't call you for that.

Since he is taller than you, he slide his legs apart to almost meet your height and you chuckled shyly from his silliness. So did he. You started to blush a little since you were close to his face and his eyes stare at your own eyes. Your eyes focus on his luscious lips, remembering the night he ran those lips all over your skin driving you crazy.

Suddenly you started to feel his fingers tickling you making you chuckled lightly. " Beomgyu, stop..." You whispered to him, reaching down to touch his large veiny hands that were pinching your skin. " Haha, but you like that!" He whispered back teasing you with a mischievous smirk.

" don't act like this with me in here..."

" don't worry, they aren't watching us!" He winked at me.

You chuckled and looked away from him. Suddenly you felt a warm hand snaking up inside your baggy shirt touching your side. Lucky for you Beomgyu couldn't see the way you were biting down on your bottom lip because of the mask. You had such a sensitive skin, and Beomgyu's warm and soft touch wasn't helping either. The warmth of his hand was turning you on instead of calming you down. That simply touch of his turned on the fire that was in you last week but you tried to control it.

You looked down to his hand and then look up to meet his chocolate puppy eyes. There is lust....you can see it. He bit down his bottom lip as he caressed your sensitive side sending waves of pleasure down your core. Oh how much you want to fuck him right now.

" Beomgyu....." You whispered as you stare at his beautiful soft lips. The 20 year old men who still looks like a teen chuckled and let's go of you. " You better watch me perform!" He said and immediately ran away with his members towards the stage.

You shook your head unbelievably and chuckled. " This boy is going to kill me one day...." You said as you inhale and exhale lightly.

...

You were there, watching him get ready to perform. He got into his place ready to dance to " No Rules" You really liked that song so much and the boys look so great and comfy with those outfits, specially Beomgyu. The long hair cut, his half white, red, and black hoodie with baggy black pants look so good in him. He looked so adorable yet looked extremely cool.

He would take glances of you from time to time but there was this part where he starts to move and kind of thrust his hips forward and to the sides, which you admit to yourself it's your favorite part of the choreography. Not just did he look hot while doing it, he looked at you while biting down his bottom lip making you feel butterflies in your stomach.

You mentally face palm and smirked to yourself remembering when you ate him up. His thick length on your mouth, while he groaned and screamed your name loudly, him pulling your soft long hair telling to keep sucking him even harder and called you baby girl so many times.

You rubbed your thighs together, feeling wet from the memory. ' god damnit Beomgyu, what are you doing to me...' you thought as still watch their performance.

After the performance was finished you were making your way to the dressing rooms, but suddenly you felt a hand touch your back making you flinched. " Wait for me in the dressing room....you know which one..." He whispered and ran away with others.

Oh no the dressing room.....that dressing room were you two would secretly meet and....well....yeah. You felt so excited the thought of feeling his touches and kisses once again. Yes, you were waiting for this again. You quickly and secretive made your way to the abandon dressing room.

...

You walked in to the dark room, but you knew where the light switch was since you came here so many times, literally came here in this room.

You looked at your phone, ten minutes had passed and your baby men hasn't appeared at all. You looked at the white brick wall that was in front of you with a worry look. " Gosh....he excited me for nothing!" You mumbled frustrated.

Suddenly you were push hard against the white brick wall on your stomach and face by none other than Choi Beomgyu. " For nothing, baby girl? Are you sure" He breath next to your ear kissing the side of your ear, a hand grasping on your hair, causing it to feel a little painful but it didn't bother you because you really liked it. His body pressed behind you as his hips started to grind in you almost in circulation motion creating such a sweaty, arousal, sensual, and erotic atmosphere between you two. You looked up at the ceiling with a grin, after a second you open your mouth, furrowed your eyebrows as you felt like almost cumming because of his movements. " Fuck Gyu, I need you.....I need you inside me now" you whispered and moan as Beomgyu let out an evil laugh clearly enjoying your reactions. Man, he was having so much fun teasing you.

He kissed behind your ear down to your neck and shoulder, making you moan. You pressed your butt against his groin to feel him getting hard. Beomgyu looked up at the ceiling, leaning his head back with his eyes closed as he felt the arousal growing and growing inside of him. He bit his bottom lip.

"lets start this fucking game already...." He groaned as he turns you around and kissed you passionately.

SECOND PART?

[we-are-inevitable]

guys oh my GOD i just found my newsies rants from the first BIG night of my hyperfixation and. hng. there's so much good content in here

*messages copy and pasted under the cut!

NOTE: all of these messages are from April 19, 2020- the first day of my newsies hyperfixation!

listen racetrack and crutchie are some of my babes and i fucking love them

BEN TYLER COOK IS THE ONLY VALID RACETRACK AND I DESPERATELY NEED THEM TO REDO THE CAST ALBUM TO GIVE HIM THE SPOTLIGHT HE DESERVES

I CANT LISTEN TO KING OF NEW YORK ANYMORE BECAUSE. IT ISNT RACE. dont get me wrong racetrack from the soundtrack is like. really good but he ain't livesies racetrack good

also everyone ships race and spot which is valid but idk I just feel like race and albert have more in common?? like. spot is a great character and all of the Brooklyn Newsies deserve so much more screentime and so much more content but i just feel like the only reason people like race × spot is because of the Inner-Bourough Relations and the territorial stuff (bc the brooklyn bois are pretty spooky) but race × albert is so much cuter ?? like they're both Manhattan newsies and they share a lot more screentime and they have a lot more in common and like !! their interactions throughout King of New York makes me cry so hard i love them so much

something is telling me that if i dont learn All Of The Newsies by tomorrow i'm gonna scream

so i think later today i'm gonna rewatch livesies, then watch 92sies, then make myself a google slides presentation with a pic of each newsie and their name so i can figure this shit out

JACK AND CRUTCHIE ARE BROTHERS BUT WE STILL STAN THAT JACK/RACETRACK DYNAMIC

if anyone tries to tell me that racetrack ain't Jack's #2 Dude i WILL bite i dont care

like??? we literally see race kinda take charge after the bulls bust up their strike and jack fucks off to be Emo On The Rooftop (which is still valid and i love him for it) but race steps in and lifts everyone's spirits again and god i love him for it

it's real "Loving Racetrack Higgins Hours"

OH OH OKAY SO THE EMO ROOFTOP SCENE

LIKE. FUCK. people kinda got on Jack's case for leaving after the big fight breaks out and the bulls take Crutchie, but what else can he do? jack is 17. he's scared. he's dealing with his own trauma after what happened to him at The Refuge (which is never explicitly stated, but his reaction leads me to believe there was definitely some kind of ab•se (and its canon that the officers at the refuge don't feed the kids as they should)). he's seen as the tough guy, as the leader, as the father figure for all of the newsies, but he's a kid. he put his life on the line for them, but that's too much responsibility for a teenager.

jack got thrown in the refuge- a jail for kids- because he stole food and clothing for the other boys. he did everything he did for everyone else, without ever taking his own feelings into consideration; it was never a case of "what's in it for me?", it was always "will this help the guys i love?" and that is Jack's biggest quality i think.

anyway- so, he disappears after the fight because he's guilty. he watch his best friend- no, his brother- get taken by the bulls and watched the others he loves get hurt, and he couldn't stop it. again, this is a 17 year old we're talking about. his whole Santa Fe scene is the most pivotal part of the show in my opinion? like- we see Jack having a breakdown, essentially. "just be real is all i'm askin', not some paintin' in my head" is such a painful line because he's holding onto the hope that somewhere he's never seen is good enough to risk leaving his life behind for, and we see the struggles between wanting to stay and help his friends and wanting to get out and live and be able to have a life where he doesn't have to live with such a huge responsibility on his shoulders.

ALSO THE WHOLE THING WITH THE GUYS THINKING JACK IS A SELLOUT BECAUSE HE GOT MONEY FOR TRYING TO CONVINCE THE NEWSIES NOT TO CONTINUE THE STRIKE HURTS MY HEART

like Pulitzer basically said "if you don't tell them to stop this, i'll personally make sure all of them end up in the refuge" and even used Davey as a plot device, since Davey is one of the few that has folks and a little brother, and Pulitzer essentially said "you wouldn't want your pal Davey getting separated from his family, would you?"

Jack believed in the Strike, and he believed in the Newsies, but he couldn't handle the risk of more of his family getting beaten and thrown into The Refuge, and it kills me to see that he couldn't tell the others why he suddenly had a "change of heart", and that they all think that jw just gave up on them until they realize later on that Pulitzer manipulated him right where it hurt most

I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT NEWSIES AND NO ONE TO TALK ABOUT IT WITH SO UH,, IM SORRY YOU GUYS GET THE SHORT END OF THE STICK

listen i could write an entire essay over Santa Fe and i love that song and it's just such an iconic "I Want" song and !!! fuck !!!!!! it's so sad but it bops!!!!!

"folks are fightin, bleedin, fallin, thanks to good old Captain Jack! Captain Jack just wants to close his eyes and GO"

and then theres a really long pause and his voice cracks and the next line just ?? hurts me ??

"let me go, far away, somewhere they won't never find me, and tomorrow won't remind me of today"

HE'S SO SAD AND STRESSED AND HURT AND GUILTY AND JUST WANTS TO LEAVE THE SITUATION TO PREVENT ANYMORE BAD THINFS FROM HAPPENING ADN I JUST WISH I COULD HUG HIM

i just realized ive been ranting for 30 minutes i love u all goodnight

[ambivalent-anarchy]

Body

Part 1 of 2

Part 2

Masterlist

Gender: Female

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Warning: None

Anon requested- can I get a one shot where the reader does the body positivity trend with the new megan thee stallion song and the reader is insecure about how ppl will react to it?? Most importantly how peter will react to it?? K thanks

Awww I love doing smol readers and where Peter's actually the one that has it together lol sooo thanx for this

The TikTok is that new body positivity trend with that Megan Thee Stallion song. Couldn't link it because tumblr acts weird about links but part 2 will have a video for Peter. Also reader will be 18 (senior in high school) cuz some people think minors shouldn't participate in the trend lol

A/N: Either a motivation fairy hit me in the middle of the night or I'm really just that bored to the point where I had no choice but to get my motivation to write back. Either way I'm happy lol. Enjoy! Thanks to @yumings and @kelieah for helping me feel confident in this lol

Will definitely be a two parter🙂

---------------------------------------

Body oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy-

You'd finally finished editing the video.

It was a simple, short collage of all of your favorite selfies and pictures that showed off your body well. There was a new trend going around on TikTok and when you saw it you just had to jump at it headfirst.

People would take their favorite pictures of themselves, ones that showed off their bodies just the way they liked, and they'd put it to the sound of Megan Thee Stallion's song "Body".

You looked through your entire phone gallery to find pictures that you were confident enough to post, some you'd forgotten you even took in the first place.

When you were done, you threw in the simple caption that everyone was using.

Heard we're using this sound to show off. My turn then😜

Yeahhhhhh, the caption sounded much more confident than you actually felt.

You actually thought about deleting it from the minute you posted it. Insecure wasn't even the word for it. And even with your followers there to hype you up, you couldn't help but feel self-conscious. So, albeit hesitantly, you went to your friends for support.

The first person you showed was Michelle.

"You killed that," she said in math class as she passed you the phone underneath the table so that the professor wouldn't see.

"Thanks," you said. "I was honestly kinda nervous about it." You noticed her incredulous look and explained yourself, toying with the loose strings on your jacket. "Like seriously, I don't wanna fish for compliments, it's just that there are so many better ones out there."

Michelle gave a lopsided grin. "That's just you being insecure, you dork," she retorted. "You look hot." She gave an uninterested glare at the teacher when they told her to be quiet. Then she turned towards you with a smile. "You shown Peter yet? I bet he'd agree."

You shifted in your seat nervously and MJ immediately caught on. "What, you don't wanna show him?" She gave you a look when you took a while to answer. "Dude he's literally your boyfriend. I'm pretty sure he'll like it."

"MJ, we haven't even-" you looked around secretively. "-we haven't even taken our shirts off in front of each other yet. There's literally a pic of me in my sports bra and I.." You shrugged, a little embarrassed by the conversation topic. "I-i just don't know how he'd react."

You and Peter were a fairly new couple and were taking it slow. You'd only ever kissed, cuddled, and held hands so far. Plus, you were a major causal clothes wearer. Sweatshirts and jeans, those were your specialty. The two of you were in no rush and you were both fine with that, but you had no idea how he would react to seeing pictures of you like that.

And, though it wasn't the most feminist approach, you kinda wanted to impress him. Was that so bad?

MJ, forever the voice of patronizing reason, rolled her eyes at you. "So, let me get this straight. You're not fine with your boyfriend seeing sexy pictures of you, but you're okay with literal strangers seeing you instead?"

"Look, I know it's-"

"No, no I totally get it," she said with a sympathetic smirk, before laughing. "I just wanted to show you how dumb it sounded though."

The bell rang, signaling the end of class.

"Look," she said, standing up and getting her things. "You have nothing to be worried about. Peter practically worships the ground you walk on. He'll love it."

When you showed Ned, he genuinely didn't give a shit.

"Oh my God, there's a new Megan Thee Stallion album?!"

"Uh, yeah."

"I have to listen to it right now!"

"Yeah okay, but do you like the-"

He was already plugging in his headphones before you even finished your sentence.

You showed Harry next. If anyone was gonna rate you unabashedly, it'd definitely be him.

He was the only friend you had in your lunch period, so you met up with him every day. Towards the end of lunch that day, you'll pulled out your phone and asked if he wanted to see the video. He enthusiastically agreed.

He watched the short video with an amused expression, bopping his head to the music all the while.

When it ended, he handed you your phone back and gave you a high-five. "Damn girl!," he praised. "Just throwing it out there, if Peter fails you, I'm hella available."

"Heh, thanks." You smiled as you felt your entire face heat up. "Ya think he'll like it?"

"What, you haven't shown him yet?" You shook her head, giving a nervous smile. "Oh-" he nodded confidently. "-he'll love it. Trust me."

"Are you sure?," you asked.

"Yeah," he responded with a shrug. "Why are you so worried?"

"Because he's not-..he doesn't really seem-" You couldn't find the right words for it. "I dunno, I just really want him to like it!"

Harry scoffed. "Look. Let me tell you a little secret about Peter Parker," he snickered. "Or practically all guys for that matter."

"Okay?," you said, curious as to where this was going.

He smirked. "You remember when he introduced himself to you at my party last summer?"

You nodded.

"Well, hon..." Harry lowered his head to where he was whispering in your ear. "Your personality wasn't what he was noticing from across the room.. catch my drift?" He chuckled when he saw you blushing as you caught where his eyes had wandered. "Just sayin'."

Seeing your incredulous expression, Harry continued. "Peter likes to act like he's not checking you out every second of the day, but I promise you he is. That little "I'm so respectful and bashful" crap he has going is complete B.S."

You smirked and rolled your eyes as he pulled away from your ear and kept walking. "You're an ass."

Harry shrugged. "True, but I'm a realistic ass." The alarm on his phone sounded which marked his time to start heading to his next class. Standing up, he smiled down at you. "Seriously, if I could take back all the time spent listening to Pete go on about how good you look in your jeans, I'd be one well rested guy."

You rolled your eyes, but it betrayed the small smile growing. After all, he wouldn't be Harry if he wasn't a flirtatious dweeb. "Bye Harry."

"Show him the video, [Y/N]. He'll love it. You know I'm right."

And then there was one...

Later in the day, you were talking with MJ after school, waiting because Peter always insisted on driving you home because chivalry was not going to die as long as he was alive to keep it going.

When he finally showed up, the first thing he did was take you by the hand and give you a quick peck on the forehead.

"How are you guys doing?," he asked as your little trio started to walk.

"We're good," you chirped, ever so conscious of the phone in your pocket that you were suddenly very hesitant to pull out.

MJ noticed and nudged you. "You got anything you wanna show anybody, [Y/N]?," she asked with a smirk, causing Peter to look at you curiously.

You stayed quiet, but MJ still wasn't putting up with it. "I think you may have a video that you made..."

You remained silent and Peter looked at you, a lot more confused now. MJ frowned. "Um... cough.. cough."

Peter laughed and stopped walking. "Okay, what am I missing?" He looked to you and when he didn't see your expression falter, he looked to MJ. "What's going on?"

Michelle shrugged. "[Y/N] wants to show you a dumb TikTok she made but she's scared about how you'll react."

"Michelle!," you scolded.

She shrugged again. "What? You weren't going to say anything anytime soon."

"A TikTok?," Peter questioned. "Cool, which one did you do this time?"

You could feel your face heat up for the hundredth time that day. "It's a...um.." You stared down at the ground. Jesus, this was hard. "..It's a body positivity trend."

His eyebrows went up at that. "Oh, well um.. is it cool if I see it?," he asked.

You blushed. "Sure." You pulled out your phone and opened the app. When you got to the video you quickly shoved it into his face before you had a chance to second-guess yourself.

Both you and Michelle watched Peter's face as he watched the video.

His cheeks immediately turned red but his expression was unreadable. He had to have watched it over 5 times before MJ pulled the phone out of his hand. "Helloooo, earth to Peter Parker?"

She snapped into his face several times and he started to blink wildly, apparently being pulled out of a trance. "I...um- heh.."

You gave a small, nervous smile. "..did you like it?," you asked, growing confused as stared at you, his expression still the same. "Um, Peter?"

Suddenly, he smiled and let out a little chuckle. "Sorry... just..." He laughed again and scratched his head, unable to keep eye contact. "You're just- like.... really hot."

You blushed. Fuck. "You're not just saying that are you?"

"No, really like-" He looked back at the phone. "...Damn." He bit his lip. "How on earth did I get so lucky?"

"Okay, can we please get in the car before I throw up?"

The two of you looked at an uncomfortable MJ with embarrassment riddled on your faces. "Yeah, totally," you said with an awkward cough. "Sorry."

"Nice video [Y/N]," Peter murmured bashfully, opening the door of his car for you, his face still beet red. "Really nice..."

Tagging: @allegra-writes, @allegra-soleil l, @yumings, @hey-its-grey, @spideyyeet, @sunkissedspidey, @tommyunderoos, @chaoticpete, @snarky--starky, @sovereignparker, @thesherlockianavenger, @bubblebucky, @eridanuswave, @ithoughtthiswastwitterbutfr , @kidney9-9, @gwenvrse

[zuffer-weird-girl]

"You wanna know something? Overhaul?" Shigaraki spoke on a calm and dark tone... as if he hadn't just cutted his arm off and just literally spoke that he had taken everthing he had worked so hard for.

"Now that you don't have literally a thumb to suck on... I wondered if is a mercy act to let you live. But now I know that it wasn't just the yakusa you value. No no..." he snapped his finger and the raven haired villain along with the masked man brought the only person he didn't wanted to be involved on this mess.

"(Y/n)..!" He spoke your name in horror, your eyes were wide open and you were a mess... dirty even, but he could let that aside. Those dirty villains had their hands on his angel...

"After many researches... i discovered that for a long time now you gave yourself a headache to keep that pretty thing out of the danger line... and also how much you want to make them... not feel something harsh as a resume... But I wonder..." he crouched down and grabbed Chisaki by his scalp... without hands or arms he couldn't do nothing but to glare at him as the hives started to make an appearance on his pale skin.

"What would you be like if they simply..." in one instant blue fire errupted from the turquoise eyed man and the obly sounds he could hear were your screams of absolutely pain.

Half of your face and upper part of your torso were burned as you shouted, begged for help... and he couldn't do nothing. Absolutely nothing but watch.

He shouted profanities at Shigaraki, promising of killing him... before being snatched by the man's hand and forced to look back at red orbs.

"You really think you can do something?! Like THIS?!" He laughed out loud, his laughter echoing along with your cries "You first was abandoned in the streets like a dog, then dissapointed the person who cared enough to raise you! Now the "love of your life" is about to die!"

He widened his golden eyes in horror... how.. how did he know of those-?

"And you. Chisaki Kai." He growled with that sadistic and psycotic look on his face "Were and always will be useless. To the Hassaikai and to (Y/n)... take a look even." He harshly made his head turn to look at you in the ground extending one hand at him with tears on the good side of your face.

You tried to call his name but Compress had grabbed a metal bar from the van and pierced your body with it... Blood splashing on the ground.

His chest tightened, the air of his lungs were lost, he couldn't do nothing but-

~

He gasped, joilting awake from his bed... gripping the sheets with both his prosthetics he breathed in and out desperately to try to catch some of oxygen.

Sweat clinging to his forehead and whole body made him want to vomit... the smell was terrible. The events of his nightmare replaying on his head as he desperately looked at his side, only to be comforted at seing your angelic persona laying there... sleeping.

Safe. Unharmed.

He sighed, slowly lifting himself up to take a shower. Sleep seemed like a terrible idea, and he needed to get rid of the filth on his body... his hives were driving him crazy and he couldn't scratch them with his metal jand without getting harmed by it.

The hot and quick shower did something to calm his body... but not his nerves. He couldn't get back on the bed. He couldn't bare to face you... not after everthing he did.

He made his way to the small living room of the apartment he now lived... the most far away from the media and heroes you and him could manage it to go and afford... He surely had ruined your life.. to a life of luxury on the yakusa to some small apartment on this loud and dirty street where teenagers couldn't get the message that others wanted to sleep, not to listen their terrible songs.

Sitting on the couch with a tired sigh, he rested his prothetic arms on his knees and brought his interviewed metal hands to rest his forehead on it... You had gotten to him after practically begging to a friend of yours...

~

"I'm not helping a cruel and wanted villain to have arms (Y/n)!" A female vouce echoed on the apartment as he listened from the couch, bandages still on what was left on his arms as you tried to make a deal.

"Please Neruko!" You whimpered "I will pay you back as soon as I-"

"Is not about that! (Y/n) I owe you, and you are a good person!" She pointed angrily at him as he glared back at her "But this man deserved every single beating that green haired kid gave to him!"

"Neruko... you don't know him like I do. Please.." you sighed with furrowed eyebrows "just two prosthetic arms and hands. Is all I ask.."

She furrowed her eyebrows at you before scoffing and storming her way out, only stopping at the apartment door to spoke.

"Next week some mailman will deliver here... But I want nothing to do with this. And I never want to hear of you or your fucked boyfriend ever again."

He went to take a step towards to give her a piece of his mind, but you stopped him with that gentle hand on his shoulder and smile.

~

It had been almost one or two months after that... it took him two weeks to adjyst to this new method of handling things... without his quirk.

His emotions were out of the control. Due to not knowing the force of those prothestic he accidentally broke a mug when he went to grab for some tea, he could only remember one eye twitch of his before seing red... destroying half of the small kitchen. You came back that day to see him cleaning furiously the whole apartment... and he refused to spare one single word about it.

That was until he noticed the mug he had broken was a present that Pops had gave it to you... his heart seemed to stop as you had recognized the cracks and almost teared up.

He apologized? No. He only could stare at you helping him clean and organize the kitchen again... he couldn't say a word about it. After all, since the incident he had been more quiet than he ever was.

His eyes burned at the memories filling his mind... the nightmares keeping him awake most of the nights, the memory of the last expression Pops gave to him before he put him on a coma, your face when you discovered what he had done and when you cound him on the street armless... losing everthing... in one single day. Due to some heroes, brats and one partership he would regret for the rest of his life.

... how didn't you leave him yet? Leave him like all of them did...?

His shoulders trembled as he cringed his teeth together, disgusted at his own wish to wanting to cry. He couldn't. He was in no place to cry.... yet the frustation, hurt and depression was just too much.

"Kai?" Your soft voice on the dark made him joilt his head up, it was dark until you had turned on the switch. Soft yet tired expression plastered on your face as you slowly aproached him.

"Something wrong?" You asked softly as you sitted at his side, muffling an yawn as he adverted his eyes away from you as he picked a handkerchief on the coffee table to quickly wipe his eyes... in case of hints of the salty frops of tears that could had formed.

"Go back to sleep. I'm fine." He said nonchantly... but soon tensed at feeling your arms wrapping around his shoulders.

"You always tell me I'm horrible at lying... guess is my turn to say it." You whispered and he almost, almost broke... but he remained stiff and concentrated his gaze on the coffee table.

"Just a bad dream. You can go back to bed, I don't think I will be able to-"

"You want to talk about it?" Your hands started to rub soothing curcles on his shoulders blades as he subsconciously leaned on you, resting his head on the crook of your neck.

"...no.. Everything but... that." He slapped himself mentally for sounding so weak as you hummed.

"You want me to do anything? I lost sleep, I will be here with you." He furrowed his eyebrows at that while you felt a wetness on the bare skin of your neck.

"Just this is fine..." he mumbled. You were worried of course, but it wasn't new for Chisaki to remain with a stoic expression even if rivers of tears were escaping his golden eyes... You could only assumed that to the feeling of his tears hitting your neck since he would never let you see his face on his most vulnerable moments... almost never.

"I owe you an apology..." he mumbled after some time and you got confused.

"If it is about the mug its been almlst three weeks Kai." You giggled in hopes to set the mood up... yeah, you failed.

"For everything." He mumbled, eyes finally blinking and letting the tears fall "I ruined not only the rest of Pops life... but I ruined yours as well. I wouldn't judge neither run after you if you decided to leave."

"Why would I leave..?" You asked almost hurt immediately. You felt him sigh before letting one sad chuckle out as he finally let himself get up and wrap his arms around you, chin rwsted now on your shoulders as he burried his face on your neck.

"You're too good for this sick world and for your own good..." he mumbled as you hugged him back worriedly, carresing his hair when you notice that he was trembling for a bit.

Despite him not deserving it... he had an angel by his side. And he would be dammed if he let that pretty thing on his arms to go now... after all, you were the only one holding his ground and preventing that he would completely break.