#this monologue made me cry honestly like it's such a Thing with trauma and heartache yk??

[akajustmerry]

god. the way jacob anderson delivers those lines in the finale, "would I have been stronger sooner? would I have resisted lestat 2 decades later?- snatch the candy, be the man in the different suit.but the suit changes nothing. and again, I'm kissing lestat on the altar..." GAH. he's so good he's so fucking good it drives me crazy. it's so hard to make really poetic dialogue like that sound like natural speech, but jacob does it so gut wrenchingly well, plays it like these are questions louis asked himself over and over for decades and he's almost sick of asking them as he picks apart each minute of his life where he might have made a different decision that would have changed everything. the way he whispers, "but the suit changes nothing" like it's still a shameful admission followed by a defeated "and again I'm kissing lestat on the altar" like he knows he would have done it no matter what and it's always on loop. Jacob is just so good. this show will lose so much without him in a protagonist role.